If We Hold On Together
by TurboWiz70
Summary: Eli and Clare have been dating for nine months. Now they have to go through the ups and downs of life. Passion, love, anger, friendship, fate, heartache, and everything in between. HUGE EClare with drama! Discontinued
1. You Found Me

This is my first story for Degrassi, so I hope you guys like it! Title inspired by the song "If We Hold On Together" by Diana Ross.

Before we kick off the story, I'd just like to let you guys know that this is one month into Clare's 11th grade year and Eli's 12th and I'm not going by the newest season in anyway with the exceptions of Alli, and Fiona and Adam (possibly).

Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi in anyway with the exception of this plot and one or two of this story's characters! I don't own the song "If We Hold On Together" or any of the song lyrics that will be at the end of every chapter and the titles of which the chapters are named after.

* * *

Chapter One

You Found Me

"I must say, for the first test of the year, you all did exceptionally well," Miss Dawes congratulated her class. She started to pass out graded test over the first book they read that school year, _1984_, to her Advanced Senior English class.

The class contained a lot of bright twelfth graders and one very advanced eleventh grader named Clare Edwards. She sat in the back of the class with two guys she was very close to. There was her good friend Adam Torres sitting to the left of her. Sitting in front of her was Adam's best friend, and Clare's boyfriend of nine months, Eli Goldsworthy.

"I was quite pleased with the essay questions," Miss Dawes stated as she started walking towards the trio. "Most of you seemed to pass the average expectations."

She handed Clare, Eli, and Adam their tests before she started passing out the rest of the tests. Clare smiled triumphantly at the big "A" that stood out in red ink at the top of her paper.

"How did guys you do?" she asked the boys.

"Sorry, I don't pass and tell," Eli teased, turning in his desk to face the other two.

"Fine," Clare played along. "Adam?"

"A minus!" he replied triumphantly. "And, I'm sure I don't even have to guess, you got an A?"

"You are correct, sir," Eli said, looking at the grade on Clare's paper.

"Not fair," she said jokingly as she turned the paper face-down on her desk. "Now you have to tell us how you did."

"Fine, you win," he sighed in mock defeat. "A."

"Why am I not surprised?" Adam laughed sarcastically.

"Okay, we're now about to start a unit on authors of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries and their works," Miss Dawes began to speak. Eli gave Clare a small smile before turning back around in his desk. "To start us off, I'd like all of you to write a two page essay on an author from one of those two time periods, a well-known piece they'd written, and how influences from their lives possibly affected their work and for it to be turned in Wednesday. And let's try not to all do the same author; I don't wish to read thirty essays about Charles Dickens and _A Christmas Carol_."

The bell rang, therefore dismissing the class. Clare, Adam, and Eli gathered their belongings before heading out of the classroom.

"And I have yet another piece of homework to add on to the large amount I already have," Clare stated as they left the class and entered the hall.

"This assignment's easy," Adam reminded her. "You should know a few authors from the old days."

"I do . . . and the assignment is easy; I'd just rather not do it this weekend."

"I feel the same way about any homework every day of the week," Eli commented.

"Don't we all," Adam commented as he and Clare chuckled.

()()

The end of the day came and Clare's amount of homework had doubled since that morning. After the final bell rang, she went straight to her locker and began pulling out all the books she was going to use for her homework this weekend. She pulled out four heavy textbooks to accompany the one that had been out since the beginning of the last period of the day. Unfortunately, they all wouldn't fit into her bag without tearing it in half. Instead of cramming them all into the bag, she stuffed two binders, Geometry book, and her French book in her bag, hoping this would not put much stress on the fabric. She flung the strap over her shoulder and felt the weight of the books dig into her shoulder. After she got use to the extra weight in her bag, she attempted to carry the other three textbooks and a Jane Austen novel she checked out of the school library for her English essay. Clare could not remember the last time she had _this _much homework, so she didn't really remember the last time she carried this many books at once . . . and she didn't know how sore one could get from carrying so much at once.

She walked down the hall, her arm cramping from holding the books and her bag strap sinking deeper into her shoulder. She was close to the door when she felt someone collide with her back. She stumbled forward and the Austen book and two of the textbooks crashed to the ground. She straightened up just in time to see two football players running and throwing a ball down the hall. She rolled her eyes at how inconsiderate they were when she heard someone call her name.

"Clare!" the voice said. A few seconds later Eli was by her side. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she replied, ignoring the pain in her back that added on to the pain in her arms.

Eli, who saw the whole thing from down the hall, turned away from Clare to see the football players flirting with a few girls by the door. He took a step towards them when he felt Clare grab his arm.

"Eli, don't worry about it,' she reassured, reading his protective mind.

"They nearly ran you over," he protested, looking over his shoulder.

"Yes, _nearly_," Clare reminded. "Don't worry, I'm fine."

Eli did not argue, so he just nodded reluctantly, deep down wanting to punch the person who caused harm to Clare. She let go of his arm as she and Eli bent down at the same time to retrieve the books she dropped.

"Doing some light reading this weekend?" he joked, seeing how many books she was carrying around as he picked up one of the textbooks.

"More like fighting a losing battle against homework," she replied, picking up the other textbook.

"Yikes," Eli stated, picking up the other book and looking at the cover. "_Sense and Sensibility_. For English?"

"Yeah," Clare answered, taking back her books and balancing them (and their unbearable weight) in her arm again. "And compared to the other homework I have, this is actually going to be the highlight assignment of the weekend."

"That sucks," he commented, seeing her struggle to hold on to all the books. "Well, let me give you a ride home."

Clare smiled grinned at his offer; he was always so sweet and willing to help her.

"You sure?"

"Would you rather walk all the way home?" he mentioned, knowing she wouldn't be fond of that idea.

"Oh, tough choice," she kidded. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Here, let me give you a hand with those," Eli proposed, taking three of the books off her hands.

"Thank you," she repeated, gratefully. It was a relief to not carry so much at once. "I owe you."

They walked out of the school and down the steps. Once they were on the sidewalk, he wrapped his free arm around her shoulders and kissed her. Their kiss was perfect and magical, just like their first and all the others after that. After a few seconds, they pulled away, grinning at each other.

"That's all you owe me," Eli said before he and Clare walked to his hearse (which he called Morty), his arm still around her.

Once they arrived, he and Clare were able to transfer the books into the car and Clare was finally able to remove the heavy bag off her shoulder. She reached up to massage her shoulder, Eli taking notice.

"Today's not your day, is it?"

"And I usually enjoy Fridays," Clare agreed, giving up on the massaging; it wasn't helping her much.

"Here," Eli said, standing behind her. Before Clare could say anything, he gently began to rub her shoulders. She couldn't help but smiled at how thoughtful, nice, and sweet he was towards her. She always wished she could be just as good to him as he was to her. She told him this a few times and the answer would always be the same.

_"You're here and you're happy, that's all that matters,"_ is what he would say.

"Better?" he asked now after a minute or so as he finished massaging her shoulders.

"Much," Clare replied honestly; the pain in her shoulder was practically nonexistent now. "Thanks."

"You don't have to keep thanking me, Clare," he said as he walked around to the driver's seat, ignoring the eye roll Clare did.

She climbed in the hearse and the two of them started to drive off the Degrassi campus and onto the main road. They spoke as they drove to Clare's home. Nothing too major was said; it was just their usual small-talk. A few minutes later, they arrived in front of Clare's house.

"Your mom's home early," Eli pointed out, seeing the single car in the driveway. Since Clare's parents got divorced, her parents flipped back and forth as to who stayed in the house with her as the other lived in an apartment ten minutes away. Her dad stayed with her one week and was with her mom for another. After the divorce was finalized, Mrs. Edwards got a full-time job and was not usually home till six. Today, however, she got off three hours earlier.

"Yeah," Clare noticed. "Well th – I appreciate the ride," she said, remembering what he said before they drove away.

"Anytime," Eli grinned. "I'll call you later."

"Okay," Clare said, gathering her books and climbing out of the hearse. "See you later."

"Bye," Eli replied before Clare closed the passenger door. She walked up the path to her house and turned around to see Eli driving away.

"Hi, Mom," Clare greeted her mother as she entered the house.

"Hi, honey," Mrs. Edwards replied while Clare walked into the living room. She was looking through some papers on the couch as Clare set her books and bag next to the armchair. "I see you and Eli are still together."

Clare rolled her eyes at these words. Her parents were not particularly fond of Eli because of that one dinner they had together. Since then, Clare tried to clean up the mess that was caused and attempted to convince them to see the good person Eli was. In the end though, no change whatsoever came to their opinions on their daughter's boyfriend.

"Yes," Clare replied in exasperation. "He's not a bad guy."

"I'm not saying he is; I just wish I knew him better."

"He's been wanting to get to know you and Dad," she said. It was true; Eli wanted to get more familiar with Clare's parents and, hopefully, they would both approve of him dating Clare. "You just seem so busy all the time."

Helen just shrugged and got back to looking at her papers.

"I'm going to go to my room and get started on my homework," Clare announced as she excused herself from the living room.

"Okay; what do you want for dinner?"

"Anything eatable," she replied as she made her way up the stairs and to her room with all her books in hand.

()()

Two hours later, Clare was in her room working on her Geometry homework. She had gotten through all the homework she had with the exceptions of English and Geometry. She was confident that she would get the Geometry completely finished and complete half of her English essay by the end of the night.

By the time six o'clock rolled around, she was researching Jane Austen's life on her

laptop. When she flipped through the book, she could tell that she wasn't going to be able to finish the assignment that weekend, so she just told herself to do the research for tonight and begin reading the novel tomorrow. Clare took accurate notes and became totally consumed in her work. Therefore, she was startled when her cell phone rang at seven, making her come out of her work zone for the first time since she ate dinner. She looked at the caller ID and saw that Eli was the caller.

"Hi," she answered, putting her assignment on the backburner.

"Hey. How's the evil homework coming along?"

"I'll survive. It actually wasn't as bad I thought it was going to be."

"Well, even if it isn't so evil, need a break from the books?" Eli offered.

"Depends . . . are you asking me go somewhere with you?"

"If you were up to it . . . pick you up in ten?"

"See you then," Clare accepted before hanging up her phone.

She stood up and walked over to the mirror on the other side of her room. She knew she did not have to worry about how she looked, but she felt like she needed to make herself look a little more presentable. She reapplied some of her makeup and ran a brush through her hair a few times. Once she was satisfied, she pulled on her denim jacket, grabbed her phone, left her room, and made her way down the stairs.

"Mom, I'm going out," she called to her mother.

"Okay. Be home by ten!" Helen replied.

"Okay."

Clare walked out the door just in time to see Eli pulling up in front of her house.

"Good evening," he greeted her after she climbed into Morty. "Where to?"

"Anywhere," Clare answered bluntly.

"I can do that," Eli said as they drove down the road.

They drove through the town for a few minutes, the radio playing and the two grinning at the mere presence of the other. After ten minutes, Eli pulled into the parking lot of an empty park. He and Clare walked over to one of the benches under a tree and sat down. Eli wrapped his arm around Clare's shoulders as she rested her head on one of his. The park was deserted except for the occasional squirrel. The moon sent its beams to illuminate the area in a soft, silver-blue glow. It is quiet . . . beautiful . . . perfect.

"How are your parents doing since the . . .?" Eli eased in to conversation, but trying not to make it difficult. Clare did not talk much about her family lately, so he was unsure if everything was fine or if it was not.

"Divorce. You can say it now, Eli, I'm not gonna freak out," Clare reassured. "They're doing well. In the end, separating was for the best for them; they're a lot happier now."

"That's good. And how are you holding up?"

"I'm not complaining about anything, am I?" she pointed out.

"Fair point," Eli responded. "I'm glad everything's fine."

"Thanks. But . . . they're still unsure about you," Clare put in the nicest way.

Eli tried not to be affected by this, but he did not want to go against the Edwards's wishes if they did not approve of Clare's choice for a boyfriend. He only met her parents once and he liked them; he just wished they could have understood that he cares for Clare and respects her in every way.

"Well . . . hopefully it won't last that way for long."

"Yeah," Clare reciprocated. "We should let them meet you again. Things may turn out better this time."

"I'd say next time we should give them _at least _a day's warning . . . and cut back on all the negative things and focus more on the positive," he presented, joking with her about the first time he met them.

"I'll remember that," Clare chuckled lightly. "Sorry about that, by the way."

"I understand. You were going through a tough time . . . but what's done is done and we just gotta keep going forward."

"Yeah. Speaking of tough times, I've noticed your locker is still in good condition. Is your room the same way?" Clare stated. The two of them completed the mission of cleaning out Eli's room a week before school started back up.

"Let's just say that thanks to your help, I have not been tripping over items I didn't know I had every time I leave my room."

Clare smiled up at him and took his free hand in one of her own.

"I'm proud of you, Eli," she told him as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Couldn't have done it without you," he replied before kissing her forehead.

"Glad I could help," Clare said, slightly blushing.

They sat there in silence for a few seconds, watching moon beams dance on the grass a few feet in front of them.

"Clare?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I haven't been saying it lately, but I'm glad we're together."

Clare smiled and felt her heart beat rapidly inside her chest.

"So am I," she agreed. She took her head off his shoulder and looked directly at him. "And, to be honest, these have been some of the best months of my life."

"Mine too," Eli grinned.

The two of them leaned in at the same time and their lips met. They fit perfectly together and the entire joyous scenario from the kiss earlier that day came back to them. But this kiss was different somehow. For some reason, it meant more.

After seconds, maybe even minutes, they separated their lips and looked at each other. Clare brushed some hair out of Eli's eyes so she could look directly into their emerald beauty.

"I love you," she confessed.

Eli felt his heart beat like it never beaten before. He looked directly at Clare and smiled.

"I love you too."

Clare's face broke into a wide smile as she heard his true feelings for her. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around her torso and began to kiss passionately.

()()

A few hours later, the Eli was about to drop off Clare at her house. If it was not for her ten o'clock curfew, she would've stayed out longer with Eli; unfortunately, authority and time were not on their side. With five minutes to spare, Eli pulled in front of the house for the third time that day.

"I'll talk to you later," Clare promised as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Looking forward to it," Eli flirted in his casual way.

Clare grinned before she gave him one final kiss.

"I love you," Eli said as their lips parted.

"I love you too."

Clare stepped out of the hearse and made her way to her house. When she looked over her shoulder, she saw Eli give her a small wave, which she returned, before heading out into the night.

She was still in a daze when she told Helen that she was home and when she made her way up to her room. She was in shock . . . the good kind of shock. The kind of shock one gets when they get off an exciting ride at an amusement park, or when you get surprised by one of your greatest friends that you haven't seen in ages . . . but the kind Clare was feeling was just out of this world. For the first time, she found someone who truly loved her.

As Clare got ready for bed, she thought about no one and nothing but Eli . . . his sense of humor, his wit, his mystery, his kindness, everything that made him who he was. She turned off the light, climbed into her bed, and thanked God for Eli. It took Clare a few minutes longer to get to sleep than usual, her thoughts and heart being so consumed in this pleasant feeling.

* * *

"_You broke through all of my confusion_

_The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave"_

_~"You Found Me" by Kelly Clarkson_

* * *

I have TONS of ideas for this story, some involve drama, some involve what I call "aww moments", and others will be somewhere in between. This is probably going to become my number one project, but the second chapter may not be up for a while. You see, I wanted to get this story published before the newest season premieres (aka TODAY! I'm super excited) so everyone knows I'M NOT BASING HARDLY ANYTHING OFF THAT SEASON! Sorry, just wanted to make that point clear.

I'm sorry that the first few paragraphs weren't well-constructed; I _hate _introducing characters I don't create, I don't know why. Plus, beginning stories isn't my strongest trait. Please forgive me. I'm also sorry I didn't put more of Eli's POV in this chapter; I'll try to put in more in chapters to come!

I feel a little unsure about the way I wrote Eli. Please let me know if I'm totally off his character. I have just become a Degrassi fan, so I'm sorry if the characters are a bit uncharacteristic. If they are, please let me know so I can change that for later chapters! Please and thank you!

I hope you guys liked this chapter! Much more to come! Read, review, enjoy!


	2. My Heart

Thank you for the reviews, alerts, etc . . . they made me very happy! I decided to put more of Eli's POV in this chapter because of the little I put in the last chapter. I'm hoping to keep it all in balance from this point on unless I have to change things a bit . . .

Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi!

* * *

Chapter Two

My Heart

Eli parked outside Clare's home, waiting for her to come out so he can give her a ride to school that Monday morning. He felt his heart hammering against his chest as he waited for her, which was a feeling he experienced for nine months, but somehow this time it seemed different. Since their conversation Friday night, everything seemed different. Talking to Clare on the phone was different, thinking about her was different, everything was different . . . but in a good way . . . and he knew why.

He loved Clare with all his heart; that was a fact. If he knew nothing else in this world, he would know how much he loved her and he wouldn't trade that thought for anything else.

Eli felt a smile come to his lips as Clare came out of her house and walked towards the hearse. He could see how she tried not to go faster than a walk down the path.

"Good morning," she greeted as she climbed into the car.

"It is," Eli responded. "I missed you."

Clare grinned and blushed at this comment.

"I missed you."

They leaned in for a kiss. As their lips locked, they both noticed how much stronger and deeper this one was. So, neither of them were shocked at the next thing they both said as they removed their lips.

"Whoa," they both breathed.

"I think we're lovesick," Clare guessed.

"I hope there's no cure for it," Eli smiled, who loved having this feeling.

Clare kissed him again, showing him that she agreed. Clare had felt the same things Eli felt since Friday night. She couldn't focus on her English essay for more than half an hour. And, as she read _Sense and Sensibility_, she couldn't help but think of her and Eli as she read about Edward and Eleanor's hidden love for the other. He was in her dreams, her thoughts, and every beat of her heart sounded like "Eli, Eli, Eli".

They ended the kiss once again, wishing that they didn't have to go to school and avoid kissing each other the rest of the day.

"Want to take the day off?" she asked.

"Tempting . . . but wouldn't it be a bit suspicious if we were both _conveniently_ absent on the same day?" Eli reminded.

"Sometimes I hate it when you're right," Clare accepted.

Eli shrugged as he put the hearse in gear and as they began to drive to Degrassi

()()

Eli was sitting against his locker later that day, reading _Crime and Punishment_ for English. He tried to absorb the words that Dostoevsky wrote in the novel, but he kept looking up to see if Clare was heading his way. More than usual, he kept looking to see if Clare was coming down the hall, heading down the hall towards him, or walking away from him. After failing to read yet another sentence, Eli looked down the hall and, to his dismay, there was no sign of Clare.

"You look lonely."

Adam arrived and took a seat next to Eli.

"Looking for your other half?" he guessed.

"Nice to see you too, Adam."

"I'll take that as a yes. So where is Miss Edwards?"

"No idea," Eli answered, looking up and down the hall again.

"Well, just remember, if you wait for your desires to come to you, the longer it will take for them to arrive," Adam reminded.

"You need to lay off the fortune cookies," Eli said, trying to focus on his book as much as possible, knowing Adam was right.

Adam shrugged. He saw Eli a few times today already and, all day it seemed, he'd been in a cheerful mood most of the time, but he also seemed very distracted about one thing or another. Being Eli's best friend, Adam knew that there was something that changed about him . . . he just had no idea what.

"There's something different about you," Adam said, deciding to get to the bottom of the mystery.

"Nothing's changed," Eli shrugged.

"No, no, there's something different . . . I just can't put my finger on it," he protested. "Did you get a haircut?"

"No."

"Did you get new shoes?" he asked, only to see the same shoes Eli always wore on his feet.

"No," Eli answered, getting tired with the interrogation.

"Have you gotten taller?" Adam guessed.

"Yes, that's it. Congratulations Sherlock," he said, hoping Adam would then give up on the pointless guessing game.

"No . . . no that isn't it," Adam took back. "Hold on, give me a minute . . ."

"Give it up Adam," Eli said before his friend said anything else. "Nothing's changed about me; I'm still the same old Eli."

"Yes, the same old Eli who is different in some way or another."

Eli rolled his eyes as he looked down the hallway again, smiling when he saw Clare heading their way.

"Good afternoon boys," She greeted, sitting on the ground next to Eli.

"Good afternoon," Eli repeated, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"Someone's in a good mood," Adam noticed, seeing Clare's large smile plastered on her face.

"It's just one of those days," she smiled before looking at Eli.

"It is," Eli agreed, giving Clare a warm smile.

"Aw. You two are so cute together," Adam teased. He always enjoyed poking fun at the two of them for no reason. "So, I'm assuming that you two are going to that party on Friday together."

"There's a party?" Clare asked; she was not much of a party-person, but going somewhere with Eli wasn't an opportunity she was willing to pass-up.

"Yeah, evidently there's a party that the football team is throwing to celebrate the first game of the season," Adam explained. "I think it's at someone's home a few blocks down from Little Miss Steaks."

"You going?" Eli asked him.

"I don't know . . . may be some single gals there so . . . I'm thinking I'll go. What about you two?"

Eli turned to Clare.

"What do you say; you wanna go?"

"Hmm . . . why not?" Clare replied. "It'll be fun."

"Sweet," Adam smiled.

The bell then rang over head, signaling the students to go to their next class.

"Well, gotta get going to class," Clare said regrettably as the trio stood up.

"See you around," Eli said.

Clare smiled at him before setting off down the hall. Eli watched her as she walked down the hall, a smile forming on his face.

"Earth to Eli," Adam said, shaking Eli's shoulder.

Eli shook his head to bring himself back to the present.

"Right; let's get going."

Adam had finally figured out what was so different about Eli. It wasn't a physical appearance change, but there was something new about him. And, as Eli watched Clare walked away, Adam knew what it was.

"You're in love with Clare," he stated in a singsong voice.

"Adam . . ."

"C'mon Eli . . . are you?"

Eli remained silent as they walked down the hall.

"You are!" Adam stated.

"She told me she loved me," Eli confessed. "I told her I loved her."

"And you both meant it?"

"When was the last time either of us said something we didn't mean?" he reminded.

"Touché," Adam commented. "See, I told you there was something different."

"I guess you were right," Eli shrugged as they walked into their History class.

"Eli and Clare sitting in a tree . . . K-I-S-S-I-N-G," he sang as they took their usual seats in the back.

"Shut-up," Eli laughed.

"First comes love, then comes marriage," Adam continued. "Then comes Eli pushing a baby-carriage."

"One thing at a time, my friend."

As the class began, Eli zoned-out and began thinking of Clare . . . well, began thinking of Clare on a deeper level. All day, he'd thought of nothing but her and he didn't try to stop. He loved her for a while . . . he just never had the guts to say it, worried she wouldn't feel the same way. Now, as Eli sat there and thought of the past nine months of them being together. From their first date, their dates after that, from their conversations, their talks on the phone that kept them up till one in the morning, and everything in between, he couldn't help but think of all the good times and how they were there for each other when the going got tough.

He sat there, completely blocking out the teacher's words and thinking about him and Clare together. He thought of all the times they spent together in his head again. He thought about every time they kissed and how it seemed like it could last forever and he'd be happy with that. Then he thought about what his parents always said . . .

_"When you find the one who's right for you, Eli, you will know deep in your heart and soul that she is the one."_

He then felt his heart beat faster and faster. Eli searched his feelings and felt a feeling inside himself he never experienced before. He felt true, deep, passionate love . . . it wasn't casual, teenage love like the love he felt for Julia. No, this was deeper . . . more meaningful.

Clare was the one for him.

()()

Eli was the one for her.

That's all Clare thought about through her French class. She _knew _Eli was the only one for him . . . she never would've lasted this long in a relationship if it wasn't meant to be. She smiled so wide that she thought her face was going to spilt in half . . . but she didn't care. All she cared about was getting out of this class and seeing Eli next period in English.

()()

After what seemed like endless hours of waiting, the bell finally rang and Eli and Clare rushed out of their classrooms. They rushed down the halls and nearly ran right into each other. They smiled widely as they embraced and felt their hearts pound inside them. When they finally separated, Eli took Clare's hands as he looked into her blue orbs and she looked into his green ones.

"Clare, I love you with all my heart and –."

"I love you with all my heart too," Clare replied, happy tears filling both of their eyes.

"And . . . I don't ever want to lose you, I never felt this much for anyone, and I just . . . Clare . . . you're the one for –."

Before Clare had any idea what she was doing, she cut-off Eli by throwing her arms around him and kissing him fully on the lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he willingly kissed her back. They totally forgot where they were and they didn't care as they focused only on each other. They didn't care about the people watching or what they were thinking. All they cared about how this moment was magical and how they were perfect for each other.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, Miss Edwards!" a voice called at them.

They broke apart and turned to see Miss Dawes looking at them from down the hallway. They both walked down the hall and made their way to outside the English classroom where Miss Dawes was standing. They knew what was coming, but they didn't care.

"You two know the rules; no PDA on campus," Miss Dawes reminded them.

"Right, sorry, Miss Dawes," Clare apologized.

"It'll never happen again," Eli promised, both he and Clare crossing their fingers behind their backs.

"I'm still going to have to give you both a detention," Miss Dawes said. "One hour after school."

The three of them walked into the classroom. Clare and Eli walked to their seats, Adam already there.

"Busted," he chuckled at them.

"Very funny," Clare rolled her eyes as she took her seat behind Eli.

()()

In Miss Dawes's classroom after school hours, there were five students serving after school detention. Miss Dawes was at her desk grading papers and preparing detention slips as the others sat in silence. None of the other students in that room were recognizable to Eli or Clare, so they didn't pay mind to them.

Miss Dawes separated Eli and Clare so they were on opposite sides of the room. Evidently that was what had to be done if you were caught for PDA at Degrassi. They were unable to finish their conversation from earlier, for they hadn't been alone since their kiss in the hallway. Right now, they were trying to work on their English assignments.

Eli was reading _Crime and Punishment_ and every time he read a page, he took a moment to look at Clare. She would either be reading _Sense and Sensibility _or looking in Eli's direction. Whenever she wasn't looking in his direction, he took in her beauty and cherished the moment of her presence before he forced himself to look away.

However, there were times when they both looked up at the same time. They smiled, locked eyes, and gave each other a small wave from across the room. And, when they were sure Miss Dawes wasn't going to catch them, they'd mouthed a few words back and forth to each other. They didn't "say" anything major, just "I love you" or "you're the best" or something kind and sweet around those lines.

At last, four o'clock came and the students were dismissed from their ever-lasting detention.

"Is it just me, or did that hour go by painstakingly slow?" Clare asked Eli as they walked down the hall hand-in-hand.

"You have no idea," Eli smiled at her.

Clare stopped in her tracks and looked up and down the hall to be sure the coast was clear.

"I think I do," she whispered to Eli before she put her lips to his. It last for a few seconds before they pulled away.

"Up for a little one-on-one time before you go home?" Eli asked her.

"Sounds good," Clare accepted as they started walking down the hall again.

They walked out of Degrassi and towards Morty. When they reached the hearse, Eli opened the passenger door for Clare, who blushed and smiled as she climbed in. He climbed into the driver's seat and they both smiled at each other before they drove off campus.

They drove until they were in the parking lot of the park. They saw that it was packed with many people, so they mutually decided to stay in the hearse.

"So, I never finished what I was telling you in the hallway," Eli reminded her, taking her hand in his.

"Well, nothing's stopping you now," Clare smiled.

Eli smiled.

"Clare . . . there is no doubt in my mind that you're the greatest girl I've ever known, I wouldn't trade you for anyone in the world, and . . . you're the one for me."

Clare couldn't retain her happiness as her face broke out into a huge smile. Hearing Eli say those words really made her feel on top of the world.

"And Eli . . . you're the one for me."

They both knew that they meant these words and, as they kissed, they knew that what they said to each other was true. Clare backed-out of the kiss and looked at Eli.

"Sorry I got you landed in detention," she said, weaving her fingers between his.

"It was worth it."

Having no idea how fortunate she was to find Eli, Clare kissed him once again and he kissed her back with no hesitation. He wrapped his arms around her as she wrapped her arms around him, both becoming lost as they cherished this pleasant together . . . knowing in their hearts it was just the beginning.

* * *

"_This heart, it beats, beats for only you_

_My heart is yours"_

_~"My Heart" by Paramore_

* * *

It took me forever to write this chapter! Not because I had writer's block with it, but because I've been working on future chapters! So many ideas to come!

As you guys saw, I'm throwing the Fiona/Adam relationship out of the story (for now, at least). I've honestly never been a big fan of Fiona (I don't hate her; I just don't think she and Adam are good together . . . but that may change) so I'm going to try and keep her out of the story as much as possible because I'm trying to keep this an EClare fic, so I'm sorry for the lack of info concerning Fiona/Adam. Let's just assume that they drifted apart while she was getting help for her drinking. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Drama is about to begin, so stay tuned! Read, review, enjoy!


	3. Let the Flames Begin

I seriously LOVE you people! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the reviews and everything! They all made my day (and that's not just crap, that's true stuff)! Here's the next chapter and I dedicate it to you readers!

BTW, this chapter may not contain that much EClare but it has a fair amount of Adam and I hope you guys enjoy it anyway. If I don't go through this chapter in the direction I'm going in, the story won't be the way it's going to be, which should be pretty awesome. Just wait and see. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . but I own a pair of old converse sneakers! :)

* * *

Chapter Three

Let the Flames Begin

Friday followed a very long week for all at Degrassi. Everyone in Miss Dawes's class was able to finish their essays, but it wasn't as easy as they thought it'd be. Clare and Eli had a particularly hard time staying focused long enough to actually get any work done. In the end, however, they were able to finish their books and essays in time . . . all thanks to Adam.

"Focus, you two!" he kept telling them every time they looked and smiled at each other, therefore distracting them from their essays for a longer amount of time than usual. It was a miracle they got through their books by this point. They were at the Torres's house one afternoon as they worked on their English essays in Adam's room.

The constant repetition of "focus" wasn't the greatest plot he could've used. Every time he said it, Eli and Clare would try to work for at least a minute before being tempted to look up again. In less than half an hour, Adam told them to concentrate at least thirteen times. Knowing that telling them to focus wasn't going to be enough anymore, Adam decided to take drastic measures.

"Okay, I didn't want to do this, but you gave me no choice."

Without anymore warning, he snatched up Eli's keys and Clare's book, _Eclipse_, which was sitting next to her book-bag.

"What are you doing?" Eli and Clare chorused as Adam backed away to his chest of drawers.

"The assignment is due tomorrow and you two need to get focused," Adam explained as he stuffed the book and keys into a drawer before sliding it shut. "I know you guys are more lovey-dovey than usual, but you're never going to get this assignment done unless I take action. You guys will get your things back when the essays are complete . . . do we have an understanding?"

"Torres, you're evil," Eli sneered, but he was somewhat impressed with his friend's tactic.

Adam shrugged before rejoining the couple.

"Now remember, keep you concentration."

"Yes sir," Clare replied sarcastically, saluting Adam.

"You'll thank me later."

He was right, of course. Their eyes barely left their work for two hours and they were able to finish their essays with time to spare. He was true to his word and returned Eli and Clare's belongings. This plan of his _did_ pay-off in the end; they saw this when Miss Dawes handed back the graded assignments on this Friday.

"A," Clare and Eli answered after Adam asked them how they did.

"See, I told you it was for the best . . . which reminds me, do you two have something to say?" he joked . . . kind of.

"Thank you, Adam," the couple said in unison.

"Ah, I love it when I'm right," Adam kidded.

"Really?" Eli asked. "Well, you took my keys that go to my car; my car is a mode of transportation. That particular mode of transportation was going to take us to the party tonight . . . _all_ of us."

"What are you getting at, Eli?"

"You see, for a moment, you took away the keys for the mode of transportation . . . we almost didn't have a ride because of your evil scheme . . . therefore, you must pay," Eli smiled like the Cheshire Cat. "What do you think, Clare?"

"I say . . . he must pay," Clare agreed, grinning at this situation.

"Will saying 'I'm sorry, I'll never do it again' help?" Adam asked, trying not to laugh at their "serious" demeanor.

Eli and Clare looked at each other and nodded.

"We guess," they nodded.

They finally let out the laughs they were retaining as the bell rang for the dismissal of class.

"So, speaking of this party," Clare said as they walked down the hall. "My mom said I can go, but if I'm not home one second after midnight, I'm grounded for life."

"Then we should do the smart thing and bring you home on time," Eli stated obviously.

"And at what time we will be going, Mr. Chauffeur?" Adam asked as they stopped at Clare's locker.

"Around seven, I guess," Eli answered.

"Okay, we have a gameplan," Adam mentioned. "Get there a few minutes after seven, have a good time for a few hours, then get our butts out of there before midnight."

"Sounds good to me," Clare said.

The warning bell rang for them to get to their next class.

"See you guys at lunch," Clare said as she closed her locker and went to her next class. She gave Eli a small wave as she walked down the hallway.

()()

A fair amount of parties don't require a lot of time to get ready. Some people would just throw on an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans; on the other hand, many would probably spend hours doing their hair, doing their make-up, and finding a suitable, yet attractive, form of attire. Clare was somewhere in the middle.

She was in her room running a brush through her hair. She wore a navy-blue t-shirt, a nice pair of jeans, and her denim jacket. She didn't usually care what people thought of her appearance, but since she was going with Eli, she wanted to look nice.

She tried to make her hair look a certain way, but it wouldn't cooperate. After a few minutes of rebrushing her hair to its usual style and applying make-up, Clare was ready to go. All she had to do now was wait for Eli and Adam to show-up. She checked digital clock and saw the red numbers read 6:45.

Clare decided she didn't want to remain in her room for another quarter of an hour, so she grabbed her phone and walked down stairs. Her dad (who was having his week with Clare) was sitting on the couch doing a crossword puzzle in the living room. Clare took a seat on the other end.  
"Ready to go to that party?" Mr. Edwards asked, setting the puzzle aside. "Do you need me to give you a ride?"

"Thanks, but Eli and Adam are picking me up," Clare replied.

Mr. Edwards rubbed his hands and looked Clare in the eye.

"Okay, sweetheart," he began.

_Here we go_, Clare thought, going against the temptation to roll her eyes.

"I want you to be careful. There may be drinking and you may feel tempted to try some, but –."

"I'm not gonna drink, Dad."

"Good. But others will be and, when people get drunk, they tend to act a little crazy or even dangerous."

"I know, Dad. Don't worry, I'll be careful," Clare promised.

"It's not just that I'm worried about," Mr. Edwards admitted. "If Eli drinks –."

"He's not going to drink, Dad!" Clare protested unnerved by the way her father assumed the worst of him. "He's our ride home."

"But if he does, you call me and I'll pick you up, okay?" he offered. "And . . . let's remember he is a teenage boy . . . and teenage boys may tempt you to do certain things that you don't want to do or that you're not ready to do."

Clare bit her bottom lip to keep her from yelling in fury at her father's accusations.

"You mean sex?" she assumed.

"Yes, Clare . . . so . . . if he tries anything –."

"Dad, _please _don't judge Eli so harshly!" Clare nearly shouted, appalled and angry.

"I'm just going by what I see –."

"You barely know him! You only met him once! Just give him a chance!"

"You guys have been dating for months and I don't know who he is or how he treats you, so excuse me for being a little concerned!" he scolded.

"Dad, I know Eli and he wouldn't do that to me."

"Like how you thought K.C wouldn't do what he did to you?" he reminded, crossing his arms.

"This is different! Eli actually cares about me! He's not a jerk, he's a nice guy, _and_ he hasn't pressured me to do anything!"

They were silent. Clare was angry as Mr. Edwards sat there, clearly trying to figure everything out in her head. They didn't know how long they sat there in the quiet, but it mustn't have been too long; they heard the sound of a car pull to the front of the house what must've been five minutes later.

"That's them," Clare said, standing up. "Love you, Dad."

"Love you too," he replied as Clare walked away. "Clare! Just be careful!"

"I will," Clare said, still a bit frustrated with her father's accusations against Eli.

She rushed to the hearse and opened the door. Adam and Eli grinned when she arrived as they sat in the front seats. Adam scooted over to let Clare sit down and, after saying the usual introductions, they made their way to the party

()()

It only took those ten minutes or so to arrive at the proper location of the party. They saw many cars parked around the house and even more people hanging about outside. They were socializing, dancing to the loud music that the trio could hear from inside Morty, and some of them were making-out like there was no tomorrow.

"Quite a turnout," Adam observed.

"Yeah," Clare agreed, now a bit anxious to go to her first official party that didn't have parental supervision.

"Well, we didn't just come here to look at it," Eli reminded as he started climbing out of the hearse. The other two followed suit. They walked to the house, seeing a few familiar faces along the way. There were even more inside. Hardly any of them were considered friends of theirs, but they saw them around Degrassi. A hundred, maybe even a hundred-fifty, people filled the house. Some were in the foyer while the others were in the living room, dancing, drinking, talking, and having a good time.

They walked their way into the living room and saw at least thirty people were forming a mosh pit to a Slipknot song.

"I'm going in!" Adam shouted over the loud music before leaving the couple behind.

"He's excited," Clare stated watching Adam go crazy.

"Oh yeah," Eli agreed. "You want to go in?"

Clare looked at the crowd. She never been in a mosh pit before and she was a bit nervous to go now.

"Uh . . . I think I'll let you two have this one. Maybe next time."

"Okay. I'll be right back," Eli promised before following Adam.

Clare couldn't help but smile at the two of them as they went wild in the mosh pit. They always enjoyed having fun, but they really went crazy on adrenaline as they joined the rest of the moshers.

At the end of the song, the pit broke apart. Adam and Eli returned to Clare who was applauding their guts to go mosh. They looked exhausted, but yet they seemed pumped at the same time. Even as sweat stood on their brows, they were smiling.

"That – was – _awesome_!" Adam hollered between breaths. "I'm – getting – something – to drink."

"I'm with you there," Eli said as he and Clare followed Adam to a table that held food and drinks.

They saw beer there, which suddenly made Clare nervous. Her father's voice was still ringing in her ears of his judgmental words towards Eli. Mr. Edwards was wrong . . . Eli was a good person who made the right decisions. This was proven to her when he grabbed a cup of punch instead of a can of beer. Clare smiled in joy and relief as she grabbed some herself.

"Ah," Adam sighed after chugging down an entire cup of punch. "That hit the spot."

It wasn't long until Adam calmed down and became himself again. Music started back up, causing more people to go on to the dance floor. The three stood on the sideline, considering the guys were still a bit worn-out from the moshing.

"Clare Edwards at a party," said a voice they recognized. "I'd thought I never see the day."

They turned to their left and saw a recent Degrassi graduate coming their way. It was good old Sav Bhandari. He was the brother of Clare's best friend Alli and he was like an older brother to Clare. He was also aquatinted with Eli and Adam. Sav graduated Degrassi at the end of last year, but he heard how they were doing from Alli, who was still attending the school across town.

"Hey, Sav," Clare greeted as he pulled her in for a one-armed hug.

"How's it going man?" Eli asked as he and Sav bumped fists.

"Not bad," he replied as he did the same friendly gesture to Adam. "College is tough, but I'm surviving . . . for now."

"So what are you doing here?" Clare asked, knowing Sav went to a college a hundred miles away.

"Well . . . somehow the person throwing this bash heard I was a pretty good DJ and he asked me to come, so I figured why not. What are you guys doing here?"

"Party-crashing," Eli answered simply.

"Nice. So, Clare, you're at a party."

"Surprised?" she asked.

"A bit," Sav answered honestly.

"I thought I should get out of the house and do something. You're only young once, right?"

"That's the spirit," he smiled. "So, Adam, I heard about your split from Fiona. I'm sorry."

"It's cool," Adam replied. "It happened four months ago so I'm pretty much over it."

"What happened?"

"We grew apart. But it's for the best. I just need to get back in the field now."

"Well, word is that there are _a lot_ of single girls here who would love to go out with a guy like you."

"Really?" Adam grinned.

"How do you know so much?" Eli asked.

"It's the way of the Sav," Sav replied proudly.

He heard the last few bars of the song begin to fade.

"That's my cue. See you guys around," he said as he went back to the DJ table in the back of the room.

"Hear that, Adam? You may be able to find yourself a new lady tonight," Eli mentioned.

"Yeah," Adam smiled. "But I'm not sure I can just go out there and mingle."

"Sure you can," Clare reassured. "Just be yourself."

"Yeah, that always works," Adam said sarcastically.

"I mean your sweet, kind, funny self," she clarified.

"Right," he said apologetically. He looked into the crowd and someone from across the room immediately caught his eye. There was a black-haired girl standing with two of her friends in the foyer. Adam recognized her from his Calculus class, but they never talked to each other.

Eli looked in the direction Adam was staring and suddenly felt uneasy.

"Olivia Yates . . . are you sure?"

"Why not? I've got nothing to lose, right?"

"Adam . . . it's _Olivia Yates_," Eli reminded.

"Who's Olivia Yates?" Clare asked, totally confused by this point.

"She's in our grade . . . she's not exactly . . . how can I say this nicely?" Eli explained. "She's not easily satisfied. It took her last boyfriend six months of asking her out, talking to her at every opportunity, and basically calling her every Saturday night until she finally went on a date with him."

"How long did they end up going out for?"

"One month," Eli replied sadly. "And he was so low on confidence after that he transferred to a school in Alberta."

"Don't do it, Adam!" Clare then demanded.

"Come on," Adam groaned.

"Dude, she's not going to go for you."

"I should at least chance it. If she rejects me, I'll move on."

Eli and Clare looked worriedly at Adam, not wanting their friend to get hurt.

"Do what you have to do . . . but don't get too discouraged if she's Ice Woman towards you," Eli said.

"Okay . . . I'm going in," Adam decided.

"Go get her, tiger," Eli smiled, giving Adam a supportive thump on the back. He nervously made his way towards her.

They watched Adam attempt to talk to Olivia. They noticed how stiff his walk was becoming the closer he got to her.

"Do you think he really wants to go out with her?" Clare inquired of Eli.

"Nah. He's just a little wound-up from the party-fever. He'll be back in reality any minute now," he reassured.

"I hope."

Eli wrapped his arm around Clare's shoulders.

"Our little Adam is growing-up," he said in a mock-depressed voice.

"It just seems like yesterday he was telling us to get our homework done," Clare replied in the same voice, wrapping her arm around Eli's waist.

"Clare, that was yesterday," he chuckled, recalling the times Adam told them to work on their math homework.

"Oh yeah . . . but now he's out there chasing girls. Where did the time go?"

They both smiled at Adam's nerve and how he was blossoming.

"Looks like it's just the two of us," Eli pointed-out as he looked at Clare.

"Yeah," Clare smiled. "So . . . what now?"

"I have an idea," he smiled slyly before he put his lips to hers. It was strong and powerful as they held each other in their arms. Their lips moved in harmony as they became lost within the kiss.

()()

Meanwhile, across the room, Adam made his way up to Olivia and her two friends. He started getting nervous as he walked up to her. He wrung his hands and took a deep breath before taking the plunge.

"Hi," he said, wishing he could've said a better salutation than the usual two-letter, one-syllable word.

To his surprise, Olivia turned her head to turn face him.

"Hi," she replied before turning back to her friends.

"How're you doing?" he continued, his confidence only improving the slightest.

"Good," Olivia said, looking over her shoulder for a second to reply.

"Cool. So . . . what's up?"

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" she asked, turning all the way around to face Adam as her friends walked away.

"Yeah," Adam began, getting more and more nervous about this. "I'm Adam . . . Adam Torres . . . we have Calculus together . . . I sit a few rows behind you."

"Oh . . . okay," Olivia nodded.

"Um . . . so . . . do you want to dance?"

"Oh, I'm not much of a dancer."

"Okay, that's cool. So . . . Calculus, huh? One tough subject," he tried to start a conversation.

_Calculus? Seriously, that's the best you can come up with? Come on Torres; get your head in the game!_ he growled to himself in his thought.

"Yeah, I guess," Olivia said, thinking along the same lines he was thinking.

"Anyway . . ."

Adam scanned his cranium for topics of conversation . . . none came to him. Yet, Olivia was standing there, waiting patiently for him to say something. He felt his face grow hotter and his shirt collar began to strangle him. Before he even thought about the consequences, he spoke the first thing that came to his head.

"Marvel or DC?"

"Huh?" Olivia asked, taken aback.

"Comics. You know . . . Superman versus Batman? It's like a . . . rivalry. Sort of like Edward versus Jacob in _Twilight_."

Olivia at this point wasn't quite enjoying the conversation. She made that obvious with her facial expression. Her eyes were looking everywhere but at Adam and she bit her lip.

"I'm gonna go find my friends," she excused herself, walking around Adam as fast as she could.

Adam's confidence reached its all time low and walked away. He wanted to kick himself. He knew he could've thought of a better ice-breaker other than math and comic books, but he was just so out of it. Then he realized that it wasn't just him. If he was meant to go out with Olivia, he would've felt more comfortable around her.

With a smile on his face and more confidence in his heart, he walked back to Eli and Clare, who were still lip-locked. He stood there for at least three minutes until they finally broke apart. They looked into each other's eyes and smiled.

"Wow," Clare breathed.

"Yeah," Eli agreed.

"Ooh, baby, baby, baby," Adam sang, his mood improving in the slightest way.

Eli and Clare instantly looked up and saw Adam, who was grinning at the scene. They stood up straight and unraveled their arms from each other.

"So . . . what happened with Olivia?" Clare asked, trying to recover from the embarrassing moment.

"She shut me down," Adam recalled with a small shrug.

"Ouch, sorry man," Eli said sympathetically.

"It's okay. No harm done."

"Good for you," Clare smiled.

"She was wrong for you anyway," Eli reassured.

"Yeah . . . but you know what? I came here to have fun with my two best friends and that's what I'm gonna do," Adam concluded happily.

"Spoken like a true partier," Eli commented.

They all went right into the dance-floor now ready to have a great time for the rest of the night . . . little did they know that this night was just beginning and that this night would change everything.

* * *

"_This is how we'll dance when_

_When they try to take us down"_

_~"Let the Flames Begin" by Paramore_

* * *

I apologize if the party setting seemed clichéd or forced. I'm not a party person in any way and all my "knowledge" comes from movies and TV.

This chapter would've been longer and I would've put in the entire night, but I thought it'd be too long, so I'm cutting it in half. And, if I keep thinking like I am, it might turn into three parts. We'll just have to wait and see how it turns out.

Anyway, what do you guys think of this chapter? Stay tuned for more pretty please. Reviews are welcome at anytime!


	4. Ignorance

I'm so thrilled with all the reviews! Please keep them coming!

So we get to the next chapter of the story and the second part of the party. I decided that the party would be in three chapters. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi!

* * *

Chapter Four

Ignorance

"This is one sweet party," Eli dubbed as he, Adam, and Clare got off the dance-floor. They danced to three songs before they were exhausted and out of breath and decided to walk over to the drinks.

"Amen to that," Adam agreed as they started to re-hydrate with punch. "But I'm stopping for a minute. I need to get some air. I'll see you guys in a few."

"Okay," Clare said as they watched Adam leave the house.

"Clare, is that Alli?" Eli asked, pointing to the D.J table.

Clare immediately turned around and smiled when she saw that it was Alli Bhandari. She was standing next to Sav as he lined up the next few tracks.

"It is," Clare replied to Eli, smiling widely as she did; she saw Alli a few weeks before summer ended, but since then the only communication they had was talking on the phone and texting.

Eli, on the other hand, didn't really have the opportunity to get to know Alli, but she and Clare were best friends, so he felt like he knew her from the way Clare spoke of her. Even though he didn't know her on a personal level as well as Clare, he was still happy to see a new friendly face here.

"ALLI!" he called as loud as he could across the room over the loud music. She didn't hear him, so he cupped his hands over his mouth and tried again.

"ALLI!"

She still didn't notice.

"ALLI!" he and Clare attempted for a third time . . . for the record, third time's the charm isn't always correct and this circumstance was proof.

Deciding to give-up the calling act, they shoved through the crowd of teenagers until they were less than a yard away from the D.J table. Alli saw them coming and she smiled and waved at them before abandoning Sav to run up to Clare.

"_Clare_!" she squealed, giving her best friend the biggest hug with all the strength she could muster.

"_Alli_!" Clare choked as she hugged Alli back.

After a few seconds of a tight embrace, they let go of each other with huge smiles still plastered to their faces.

"Hi Alli," Eli greeted casually, but one could tell that he was happen with the friends' reunion.

"Hi Eli," Alli replied, giving him a brief hug which he returned.

"Well, I'll let you two catch-up; I'm going to go find Adam," Eli excused himself.

"Okay, I'll see you soon," Clare nodded before he left them alone.

"I'm so glad I finally saw you! Sav told me you, Eli, and Adam were here but I couldn't see you guys anywhere!"

"Well, I'm here now," Clare smiled.

"I know! Oh, I missed you!" Alli exclaimed, giving Clare another hug.

"I missed you too," Clare reciprocated before the hug ended. "So your parents actually let you come here?"

"Only because Sav is here. Otherwise, no way; they basically said I can't go to any place after seven unless it's parent or teacher supervised or if I'm with Sav . . . which is not that often."

"Sorry about that."

"Thanks. But, enough about me; what are you doing here?"

"Eli, Adam, and I thought it'd be cool to come," Clare shrugged.

"Alright. Speaking of Eli, how are you two doing?" Alli asked; she had always been intrigued in Eli and Clare's love-life.

"It's going well . . . really, really well," Clare smiled, her mind reflecting on her and Eli's memories.

"You're in love with Eli," she sang in a teasing manner.

"I am," Clare admitted. "I seriously am."

"Seriously?" Alli smiled in joy and amazement.

"Seriously; I'm in love with Eli and I'm not afraid to say it."

She turned to the crowd and shouted at the top of her lungs.

"I'M IN LOVE WITH ELI GOLDSWORTHY!"

Since the music was so loud, hardly anyone heard her. Alli heard for sure and so did a few onlookers who didn't think anything of it. Clare turned back to face Alli, who was impressed with her friend's spontaneity.

"Nicely done," she applauded. "So . . . have you two . . .?"

"Have we what?" Clare asked, although she had an idea what Alli was talking about.

"You know what."

"Oh . . . no, no, no, of course not," Clare said, twisting her purity ring around on her left ring finger. "I just told him I loved him a week ago and I want to wait a little longer . . . that is if I decide _not_ to wait until I'm married."

"You're _actually considering _doing it before marriage? Who are you and what have you done with Clare?" Alli said jokingly.

"Funny. But . . . I don't know . . . being with him is . . . it's out of this world! I just can't imagine myself being with anyone else but Eli," Clare admitted.

"I seriously think I'm going to cry," Alli said; the words Clare was saying touched her heart and, being the soft hearted person she was, it got to her. "I knew you two were right for each other. I knew it from the second he ran over your glasses and complimented your eyes."

Clare smiled. It was ironic that Alli should say those words, because Clare knew deep down in her heart that it was love at first sight for them.

()()

"Adam, my friend, I'm about to make you a very happy man," Eli promised as he walked onto the porch to join his friend.

"Where's Clare?"

"Talking to Alli," Eli explained. "So, I'm taking this opportunity to make you very happy."

"Eli, the last time you said that I ended up chugging an entire half gallon of chocolate milk," Adam recalled.

"And you made Degrassi history. Remember how happy you were about that?"

"I was thrilled . . . until I barfed in front of the entire 11th grade!"

"Trust me on this," Eli said, turning them back to the original conversation topic. "I was on my way back from talking to Alli and Clare and I heard a girl say that she likes you."

Adam spat-out the punch he was drinking in disbelief.

"Classy," Eli commented.

"Who? How do you know?" Adam demanded, wiping the punch off his face.

"I'm not exactly sure who she is, but I heard her say to her friend 'you know that guy, Adam Torres? I kinda like him'."

"You're serious?" Adam asked, grinning at what Eli was telling him.

"That's the truth."

"Please, please, _please_ tell me you remember what she looks like!" he pleaded.

"Follow me, young one," Eli grinned at his friend enthusiasm.

They walked back into the house and into the living room. They walked around, Eli keeping his eyes peeled for the girl. It wasn't until they arrived by the wall next to the foyer for the second time did they finally stop.

"There she is, Adam," he said at last, gesturing to the opposite wall.

()()

". . . and then, after months and months of waiting, my parents have finally forgiven me. But I'm still basically grounded until I go to college, but I have a few more privileges," Alli told Clare as they continued to hang-out together. She just got telling Clare about her home life since Sav left for college and how she was being treated by her parents since Vegas Night.

"Well, you wait, in less than two years you'll be going to college and you won't have to worry about it." "Exactly."

"Alli."

They both turned around and saw Sav coming their way.

"What's up?" Alli asked.

"Time," Sav said, pointing to the clock on the wall. It read nine-thirty.

"Oh crap," Alli groaned. "I'm dead."

"Don't worry, just walk three blocks and you're safe," Sav reassured.

"Okay."

"What's going on?" Clare asked.

"I was supposed to be home by now. I'm sorry, I have to go," Alli said regretfully.

"Okay, I'll call you soon," Clare promised, giving her Alli one final hug before she had to rush out of the house.

Sav returned to the D.J table, leaving Clare alone. She moved into the crowd and decided to find Eli and Adam. She made her way through the maze of people and finally saw them a few yards away from her. She was about to go to them when she heard a familiar male voice say her name.

"Clare."

She turned around and saw her ex-boyfriend, K.C Guthrie, coming up to her, much to her dismay. Since they broke-up, they weren't civil or particularly friendly to each other. As far as Clare knew, he deserved it and that was probably never going to change.

"K.C," she replied crossing her arms. Her attention quickly turned to the beer can in his hand. "Having a break from daddy-duty?"

"Austin's with my mom; she hardly gets to see him and Jenna and I needed a break," he explained.

Clare looked to the dance-floor. Jenna was dancing in a drunken manner to a Katy Perry song with not a care in the world.

"I see she's not wasting any time," Clare said, disapproving of Jenna's behavior.

"Okay Clare, we have to balance school, homework, jobs after school, and being teen parents. We deserve to have a break every-now-and-then," K.C said, obviously getting annoyed with Clare's tone.

"I'm not saying anything against you guys having a good time," Clare justified. "I just think – wait, why are you even talking to me? We haven't spoken in nearly a year."

"Sorry for being sociable," K.C responded sarcastically. "I'm just surprised to see you here . . . at a party . . . where there's alcohol."

Clare shrugged. Why was he so surprised? She knew Sav was just teasing her when _he _said he was amazed to see her at the party; Sav knew Clare and understood that she was a teenager who does teenage stuff. But K.C still saw the same Clare he dated, so him judging her this way made her a bit frustrated.

"I'm waiting for you're point."

"Since when do you go to parties?" K.C inquired.

"Since I felt like going to one; no big deal."

K.C looked over Clare's shoulder and saw Eli and Adam talking to each other across the room.

"You're here with Eli," he concluded, his voice a bit rough.

"Yes, I'm at a party with my boyfriend. So?"

"Clare, can't you see what he's doing to you?"

"Excuse me?" she snapped, obviously appalled.

"He's turning you into something you're not."

There it was again. He was seeing the Clare who was, not the Clare who is.

"Okay so you don't talk to me for the longest time and you assume the reason I go to a party is because of my new, not to mention _better_, boyfriend and not because I've gotten older?" she asked rhetorically.

"You know what I mean! You're just not the same Clare we used to know."

"And by 'we' you mean you and Jenna?"

"I mean everyone. Since Eli came –."

"I expanded my life. I grew-up. Yes, I've changed, but not for the worst. Eli's been nothing but a good guy to me and he loves me for who I am . . . unlike some people," she added with a sneer.

K.C took a deep breath and tried to ignore the last remark.

"I don't think he really cares about you," he accused. "Believe what you want about him, but I don't think he's right for you. He's using you."

"Oh," Clare scoffed. "Using me for what?"

"You know what."

Clare rolled her eyes and shook her head. First her father, now K.C? Why couldn't they just see the Eli Goldsworthy she and Adam see?

"You're accusing me of being Eli's whore – which is just stupid – although _you're_ the person who broke-up with me for another girl?"

"Seriously? You have a new boyfriend and you still won't let that go?" K.C said furiously.

"You and Jenna betrayed my trust. Sorry if that trust is hard to win back. Now, if you don't mind, I have a boyfriend to get back to."

She turned on her heel and made her way back through the crowd to Eli.

()()

"Where?" Adam squinted as he looked in the direction Eli instructed him to seek the girl.

"Black jeans, purple shirt, brunette hair," he clarified. "She's standing next the blonde with glasses wearing the All Time Low shirt."

Adam looked harder until her finally spotted her.

"Eli, that's Kelsey!" he exclaimed, recognizing her.

"Who?"

"Kelsey Arnold. She's in my Music class."

"Have you ever talked to her?"

"Once or twice."

"Well, here's your chance to have a conversation with her."

"I don't know what to say."

"Start with 'hi, I'm Adam, we have Music together' and it should all go up from there."

"Okay," Adam nodded, preparing to take the plunge.

"Go for it."

Adam took a deep breath and slowly walked away into the crowd.

Eli grinned at his friend and how he wasn't willingly to give-up. He made his way back to the table to get another drink when he saw Clare emerge from the crowd.

Still fumed from her confrontation with K.C, she hugged Eli's waist, not caring that K.C was probably still watching her. She kissed Eli fully on the mouth as he put his hands on her hips and reciprocated the movement of her lips.

Before they both became oxygen starved, they broke apart.

"Do you want to dance?" Clare asked.

"Lead the way," Eli permitted.

Smiling, Clare grabbed his hands and led him onto the dance-floor.

"Having fun?" Eli asked as they started dancing to the song blasting through the speakers.

"Are you kidding? I'm having a blast," Clare replied honestly. She decided to put everything Mr. Edwards and K.C said in the back of her mind so she wouldn't have to dwell on it right now. The only thing that mattered to her at this point-in-time was dancing with Eli.

"Where'd Adam go?" she asked, not seeing Adam in sight.

"Finding himself a woman," Eli replied.

"Good for him," Clare smiled, pleased that the incident with Olivia didn't shatter his confidence.

"Yeah," Eli agreed. "You know what?" "What?"

"I just realized we're alone again," Eli flirted.

Clare gave him a flirtatious smile.

"You're right . . . but I know a place where we can be more alone," she said, grabbing one of his hands.

She led him through the crowd of people, off the dance-floor, and out of the living room.

"Clare?" he asked slowly, having no idea where they were going.

She led him to the staircase. No one was there; it was just her and Eli all by themselves. Clare sat down on the third or fourth stair and Eli sat right next to her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she placed her hand to the side of his face. They placed their lips on the other's and became lost in their own little world . . . a world that only had them in it.

Clare secretly wished that K.C and her father could see how Eli wasn't pressuring her to do anything. In fact, Eli didn't mind not having sex with Clare. Would he if do it with her if _she_ wanted to? Yes, but she didn't want to because of her vow, and if she wasn't going to break it, he was fine with that. He didn't care about sex; he just cared about Clare and her happiness. He was perfectly happy kissing Clare, being with Clare, talking to Clare, just about anything that involved Clare being by his side.

After a few minutes of constant lip movement, Eli pulled out of the kiss and looked into Clare's blue eyes.

"Incase I haven't told you enough lately, I love you," he told her.

"And I love you."

"You know what's amazing? We've been saying that to each other twenty times a day everyday for a week and it hasn't gotten old."

"I know," Clare agreed. "It's the best feeling."

"It is," he said before gently putting his lips back to hers.

* * *

"_I'm not the same kid from your memory_

_Oh now I can fend for myself"_

_~"Ignorance" by Paramore_

* * *

The party was originally going to be two chapters long, but when I wrote it all out, the second chapter seemed _way _to long. So now it's in three parts instead of two. The next chapter should be published Wednesday or Thursday. Anyway, what did you think of K.C and Clare in this chapter? Do you think I should add more drama between them in the future? You're views and opinions are welcome.


	5. The Winner Takes It All

Quicker update this time, right? Thanks to my memory stick and extra time in computer class, I have more time to type! Yea! Thank you all for the reviews this time around. I had a really bad day and when I read them they made me really happy! Thank you! Here's the final chapter of the party, but yet we have such a _long, long, long _way to go before the story is over, so stick around (pretty please).

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or a sushi factory!

* * *

Chapter Five

The Winner Takes It All

Adam felt the familiar nerves creep back-up inside his stomach, which was completely out-of-character for him. The closer he got to Kelsey, the more he wished he could stop thinking. The negative thoughts flooded his mind and there was no dam to stop them.

_You're not going to mess-up_. _You can do this_, he thought to himself. _Just introduce yourself and ask her to dance_.

_Don't do it Adam,_ warned a voice in the back of his head.

_Why not_?

_But remember what happened with Olivia_?

_She wasn't interested in me_, Adam reminded himself. _This is different_. _Kelsey has feelings for me_.

_But are you interested in her_? the voice asked again.

Adam stopped in his tracks and thought about this. Would've he even considered going and talking to Kelsey if Eli didn't tell him she liked him? Odds are he wouldn't have.

_And since when do you go chasing after the first girl you see? _

He thought about this as well. Adam never saw a girl at Degrassi and instantly decided to ask her out. No, this wasn't him at all. Then he realized why he was acting this way . . . he wasn't ready.

He surrendered to his subconscious and turned back around.

()()

"Have I told you that you're a great kisser?" Clare whispered as she and Eli separated their lips to get some air.

"Not verbally," Eli replied smoothly before he put his lips back to Clare's.

Clare kissed him for at least fifteen seconds until she pulled away and continued.

"Well, you're a really, really, really amazing one."

"Not as good as you," he complimented.

Clare let out a chuckle and blushed slightly.

"Debatable," she said before she continued to kiss him again.

Their lips and tongues continued to move in sync with each other's. The moment was perfect . . . until Adam ruined it.

"Going into over time, I see," he chuckled.

Clare and Eli separated, not believing that this was the second time in one night that Adam caught them making-out.

"Hi Adam," Clare greeted, her cheeks turning red.

"Remind me to not hang any mistletoe up around my house if you guys come over at Christmastime."

"Funny," Eli said sarcastically as he and Clare stood-up and the three of them went back to the living room. "How did it go with Kelsey?"

"It didn't."

"What happened?" Clare asked.

"I'm not ready for a relationship yet. And, even if I was, I shouldn't be selecting a random girl and ask her out before I even know who she is. When I'm ready, I'll take it slow," Adam explained.

"That's our Adam," Clare smiled. "I feel a group-hug coming on."

"No, no, no," Eli protested, slowly backing away. He was not really one for group-hugs.

"Come on, Goldsworthy," Adam coaxed. He and Clare were holding each other with one of their arms and held their other ones for Eli as they started stepping towards him. "You know you want to."

Eli rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Ah what the hell," he surrendered before joining them in the hug.

()()

Twenty minutes later, Clare and Adam emerged from the crowd after dancing again to yet another song. They took in a few breaths of air until they finally were able to have a regular breathing technique again.

"Officially the best party _ever_!" Adam declared.

"No, the one _we_ threw last year was the best party ever," Clare corrected. "But this one is a very close second."

"Works for me. Have you seen Eli?"

"I haven't seen him since he said he was going to get some punch to drink."

"I swear that kid drinks too much punch."

"Uh-hu. I gonna go find him."

"Alright. I'll come find you in a minute; I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" Clare asked, wondering why Adam wouldn't go with her.

"Call of nature," he said before running out of the living room.

Clare made her way to the drink table, her eyes sharp as they looked for Eli. She passed a few people and had to take a few detours because she saw a few drunken people who she didn't want to get close to. She finally got to the table and saw the back of Eli. He was talking to someone. Clare got closer and closer and saw that he was talking to a girl . . . a very pretty girl. She had long, brunette hair, a slender figure and deep blue eyes that resembled the color of a summer sky. She was smiling and conversing with Eli.

Most people would have felt threatened or unreasonably jealous by seeing their boyfriend with some other attractive girl. Clare usually tried to blow these feelings off on the rare occasion that she saw someone flirting with Eli, but sometimes it was just too much and her past experiences came back to plague her mind. She then lived in fear that someone else would come and steal another boyfriend away from her. She recovered fully from the K.C incident, but she didn't think she would be able to do the same thing if someone did it to Eli. Fortunately, every time she was Eli afterwards, she would remember that he wants to be with her and understand that he and K.C were two different people and Eli wouldn't just decide to leave Clare for someone else.

In this moment, however, Clare didn't feeling any fear or negativity. Eli and she admitted to each other that they were the ones for each other, so she knew she had to reason to be threatened or to feel jealous of any girl ever again. With this uplifting thought in mind, she walked up to Eli.

"There you are," she said. "Adam and I have been looking everywhere for you."

"Sorry. I would've gotten back to you guys sooner but I ran into an old friend," Eli explained, gesturing to the girl.

"It's my fault. Once I start talking I can't shut-up," the girl apologized.

"Clare, this is Kate, a childhood friend. Kate, this is my girlfriend, Clare," Eli introduced.

"Hi," Kate greeted, shaking Clare's hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Clare replied. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to interrupt your conversation."

"It's fine. Well, well, well Mr. Elijah Goldsworthy has a girlfriend? I, for one, am quite surprised."

"He's actually quite the lady's-man," Clare mentioned.

"Oh no, I'm sure he is. I just remember what he was like from when we were kids. He said a few things about girlfriends back then."

"Really?" Clare asked, raising a kidding eyebrow at Eli. "What exactly did he say?"

"Oh, what most boys say; girls are icky and have cooties. He heard that some kid in our class got a girlfriend, then got cooties, then ended up moving to Vancouver. So Eli said 'there's no way I'm getting cooties or moving to Vancouver, so I am never, ever, _ever_ getting a girlfriend.'"

Clare couldn't help but laugh. She couldn't believe that the Eli standing next to her today was the same one who actually thought cooties were real.

"Give me a break; I was six. I also told myself I would never eat my vegetables or drive, but alas I do today."

"Okay, but don't go blaming Clare if you _do _end up moving to Vancouver," Kate warned.

"Or if you get cooties," Clare added.

Both of the girls chortled as Eli grinned at the humorous memory.

"So Kate, how do you and Eli know each other?" Clare asked after they recovered from their fit of laughter.

"We were good friends in grade one," Eli explained. "And our parents went to high school together."

"Yeah. We were very close. We spent recess together, shared our crayons, watched out for each other and everything. I remember one time I was playing in the sandbox and this one kid dumped sand on my head. Before the teacher did anything about it, Eli came out of nowhere and started beating him up. He was like a miniature Batman that came out during the day."

"He's like that today as well . . . except he's a little taller," Clare added. "Sounds like you two were inseparable."

"We were, but I moved to Montreal in grade two and we lost touch."

"I remember when you moved away. I, literally, didn't come out of my room for a week."

"How can you survive in a bedroom for a week? That's impossible," Clare questioned.

"One, nothing is impossible when you're seven. Two, I survived thanks to leftover Halloween candy plus some food and bottles of water I got before I barricaded myself away," Eli explained.

"How did you go to the bathroom?" Kate wondered.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Eli answered in a mysterious tone.

Kate and Clare laughed, but Kate's was more of a giggle than a laugh.

"Same old Eli."

"Kate has actually just moved back up here," Eli mentioned to Clare.

"Really?" Clare said.

"Yeah; we moved here Wednesday and we just took the last few days to settle in."

"Have you started school here yet?" Eli asked.

"Not yet. I start at Degrassi on Monday."

"That's awesome; that's where we go to school," Clare said.

"Great!" Kate exclaimed. "I won't be lonely on my first day! We might have classes together."

"Well, you, Eli, and Adam might have a few classes together, but I'm a grade below you all, so we might not have any," Clare chimed in.

"Except English," Eli reminded. "Clare's in the Advanced Senior English class even though she's in grade eleven."

Clare grinned in embarrassment at her boyfriend's comment.

"Wow! I'm going to school with a young Stephanie Meyer! Cool!"

"You read Stephanie Meyer?"

"Are you kidding? I love her work!"

"So do I!"

"I have a feeling that this is a start of a beautiful friendship," Eli smiled.

"Probably," the duo of girls agreed.

"Well, I'm sure you two have a lot of catching-up to do, so I'll let you two get back to your conversation," Clare said, not wanting to impose any longer.

"Clare, you don't have to go," Kate protested.

"It's okay; I need to go find Adam anyway. You have to meet him; he's awesome."

"Alright. Well, it was nice meeting you."

"Same to you; I'll see you Monday," Clare said as she backed away into the crowd.

Kate turned back to Eli and rolled her lips.

"She seems nice," she pointed-out.

"She is."

"I can tell that you love her."

Eli felt a bit awkward at this point; he remembered what he and Kate said to each other all those years ago.

"Kate, it's nothing personal. I was a kid who didn't know anything and –."

"Relax, Eli. I understand," Kate interjected. "None of us really mean that stuff in first grade. I remember when we were that age we were also going to invent an elevator that could take you to the moon _and _the center of the Earth, but we never did and we probably never will."

"But that was a brilliant plan," Eli protested with a smirk.

"It was at the time. But don't worry about it. I had my share of boyfriends over the past eleven years and you're now with Clare so there's nothing to worry about."

"Okay. Thanks Kate."

"No prob. Well, I need to get going; I have to get home before ten-fifteen or my parents will kill me," she said figuratively.

"Alright. See you at Degrassi."

"See you there," Kate promised as she made her way toward the door with one glance back at Eli.

Grinning at Kate's blessing, Eli made his way back through the crowd to find his companions, determined to spend the rest of the party having a greater time than they already had.

()()

At a quarter to midnight, they decided they'd better get going. They said one more farewell to Sav before heading out of the house and back to Morty. They decided to drop-off Adam at his house first; he was just now coming off his adrenaline-rush and Eli and Clare didn't want to deal with the crash (which would've meant a grouchy Adam).

After they left Adam's house, Eli and Clare drove to the direction of Clare's home and pulled in front of the house ten minutes later.

"Five minutes of spare," Eli said as he looked at his watch.

"And that means I don't have to go in for another five minutes," Clare flirted.

Eli smiled at the invitation of a make-out session that she implied, but he saw a light on in the living room window.

"But what if your dad comes out?"

Suddenly the conversations Clare had with her father and K.C flooded back to her. Eli was right; Mr. Edwards was still up and he would've heard the hearse pull out to the front of the house and it was an extreme possibility that he would come out and see what was taking Clare so long to get back in the house. If he did catch them kissing, that would just give Eli another strike on his already bad record with her dad.

"Good point," Clare accepted sadly.

She wished, once again, she didn't pull that stunt several months back; maybe her parents would've actually liked and trusted Eli then. She had to make this right one way or another.

"What are you doing next Friday?" she asked him.

"I'm not sure. Why?"

"My mom, dad, and I are planning on going out to dinner together that day. It's nothing big; it's just something we do at Little Miss Steaks so we have that familiar setting we had before the divorce. Do you want to come?" she invited.

Eli drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought this over.

"I don't know," he said. "I don't want to impose on the time you spend with both of them at the same time."

"It's not imposing if I'm inviting you."

"Well . . . I don't want to make them uncomfortable by being there."

"You won't."

"Come on, Clare, it's no secret that they hate me."

"They don't hate you."

"Dislike me then."

Clare didn't respond to that comment, because she knew it was true.

"It's not that I don't want to get to know them; I just don't know if they're ready to get to know me."

"I see your point. I just want to make things right from last time."

"I know," Eli said, taking her hand. "Okay, if it means that much to you that I come, I'll come."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Thanks. And, as a favor to you, I'll tell them to forget everything from last time and to start on a clean slate." Clare promised.

"Sounds good to me," Eli grinned.

They looked at each other before they realized that it was a minute to midnight.

"Shoot," Clare groaned. "I gotta go."

"Okay."

Clare gave him a kiss on the lips before climbing out of the hearse.

"I had a great time," she said.

"Me too. Love you."

"Love you, too," she smiled before closing the door and sprinting to the house.

As Eli drove away in Morty, he thought of the night and felt the nerves churn inside him as he waited for his dinner with the Edwards in one week.

* * *

"_The winner takes it all, _

_The loser has to fall_

_It's simple and it's plain, _

_Why should I complain?"_

_~"The Winner Takes It All" by ABBA_

* * *

Originally, I was going to have Adam talk to Kelsey, but that would've meant two things. One, I'd have to make it an Adam x OC fic _and _an EClare fic, which I don't to do. Two, it would mess-up a future plan for the story. What do you guys think of Kate? She's going to play a part in this story! Do you guys want to know what she and Eli promised when they were kids? If you're interested, stick around! If not, stick around anyway; there's so much more EClare and drama to come! Can't say when the next chapter will be up, but it won't be too long. Reviews please! Thanks for reading this chapter! Peace out people!


	6. Where the Lines Overlap

Thanks guys for the reviews! I noticed that some of you were making predictions and have a lot of questions . . . I hope that means your hooked on this story! lol. Anyway, I appreciate the feedback! Some of you are wondering if Kate is going to steal Eli away from Clare. Well, I'm going to tell you! But . . . you have to read the chapter first! The author's note at the bottom will tell you my decision. If you don't want spoilers, just read the chapter, review, and wait to see what happens! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or a motorcycle (so stop asking me dude!)

* * *

Chapter Six

Where the Lines Overlap

"Good morning amigo!" Adam greeted Eli on the Monday morning. He leaned against the locker next to Eli's.

"Still on a party-rush?" Eli jested at him.

"No, no, no . . . well, kinda," Adam admitted. "Who knew a few hours of adrenaline could last so long?"

"That's not healthy, man."

"Hey, don't blame me, blame the party fever."

"Okay, but if you aren't back to your normal Adam Torres insanity by Friday, I'm either taking you to a specialist or making you watch a documentary on the European Industrial Revolution over and over again until you snap out of it," Eli warned closing his locker.

"Gotcha," Adam accepted. "Where's Clare?"

"Her mom's giving her a ride to school," Eli answered. He looked up and down the halls for any sign of Clare or Kate. Since it was Kate's first day, he was a little worried about her; the last thing he wanted was for his oldest friend to get lost and be late for class on her first day.

"Looking for your friend?"

"Yeah . . . have you seen her anywhere?"

"Dude, I don't know what she looks like," Adam reminded.

"Right," Eli remembered.

"But there is some girl with long brunette hair around my height coming this way," Adam mentioned, nodding his head over Eli's shoulder.

Eli turned around and smiled when he saw that it was Kate coming their way.

"Hi," Kate greeted. She already had on her Degrassi uniform along with her Student ID, so she must've gotten them when she got enrolled.

"Hi. Kate, this is Adam," Eli introduced, gesturing to Adam

"Hey," Adam grinned warmly. "Welcome to Degrassi Community School where we care about education, love the students, etc. etc."

Kate giggled at Adam's little introduction.

"Thanks," she said, trying to stop her giggles.

"Have you gotten your schedule yet?" Eli asked.

"Yeah," Kate answered, pulling it out from her bag and passed it to Eli.

Eli quickly skimmed over her schedule.

"Sweet; except for fifth and sixth period, we have every class together."

"Cool. So I'll only have to survive two classes solo."

"Don't worry; you have me those two periods," Adam pointed out, looking over Eli's shoulder. "This means we have the exact same schedule."

"Awesome, I won't be lonely after all. Where's Clare?"

"Right behind you."

They turned around and saw Clare just arriving.

"Hi, Clare," Kate greeted, giving Clare a one-armed hug.

"Hi," Clare replied. "Ready for your first day?"

"Ready as I'll ever be. I'm actually getting those first day nerves."

"Don't worry; they'll blow over in no time. At least you won't get lost or get lonely. You can even sit at lunch with us."

"Yeah," Eli and Adam agreed.

Kate smiled.

"I'm _so _lucky to have such good friends like you guys. Thanks."

"Don't thank us yet; just see how the first week goes and then you can decide if we deserve the thanks or not," Adam negotiated.

"I'm sure you guys will deserve it," Kate grinned.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

The bell sounded overhead, signaling them to go to homeroom.

"Ready for homeroom?" Eli asked Kate.

"I guess. I'll see you around, Clare," Kate told Clare.

"Good luck. I'll see you guys later," she replied as Adam, Eli, and Kate made their way down the hall. Hoping that Kate would have a good first day, she turned around and made her way towards her class.

()()

A few class periods later, the bell finally rang to signal the end of Clare's French class. She rushed out of the class as soon as possible, nearly running into Eli in the process.

"Enthused to get to English, I see," he smiled as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, which immediately caused her to slow down.

"Where are Adam and Kate?" she asked, noticing their absence.

"I let them go on ahead. I figured I'd meet you here and walk you to class."

"Well, thank you."

"Plus I owe you an apology."

Clare stopped in her tracks and looked at him.

"Did I miss something?" she asked, clearly confused.

"This morning I didn't really acknowledge you being there. I didn't say 'hi', 'how you doing', 'I love you', etc. Now that I think about it, this is the first time I've actually spoken to you all day."

"Not true; you asked if I needed a ride to school," she reminded.

"Via texting, doesn't count," Eli disputed. "I was just concerned about Kate."

"Don't worry, I understand."

"It's just that . . . she's my oldest friend, Clare, and I'm just concerned about her. And I would like her time at Degrassi to be good."

"Eli, I get it," Clare said calmly. "I want her to enjoy her time here too and I was also concerned for her. Now that I think about it, this is the first time I've spoken to _you _all day. Sorry."

"It's fine and I'm sorry too."

"No need."

"But, to make it up for this morning," Eli began. "Hi Clare, how are you doing? I hope you're fine. I'm glad you're my girlfriend and I love you."

Clare smiled as he made-up for something he didn't need to make-up for.

"You're turn."

"Okay," she grinned. "Good morning Eli. I'm doing well, thank you. I hope you're feeling fine as well. I'm pleased that you're my boyfriend and I love you too."

Clare looked around to be sure there were no teachers around before she spoke again.

"One more order of business."

She planted a kiss on Eli's lips; a kiss that he willfully returned. Once they separated, they smiled at each other, locked hands and made their way down the hall.

"Well, Friday is set to go," Clare told him. "Nervous?"

"Nervous, no . . . terrified, definitely."

"Don't be; you'll be fine."

"I just don't want to say the wrong thing."

"You're putting too much pressure on yourself. Just be the Eli I know and they'll love you," Clare reassured, hoping that she was speaking the truth.

"Until I do something to upset them . . . like me not praying with you guys."

"Don't worry about that; they know you're beliefs and they won't try to change them and they won't force theirs on you," she tried to comfort him.

Eli took a breath, still not fully confident about this. Clare saw that he wasn't really prepared for this and she didn't want him going through something if he wasn't ready for it.

"Listen, if you don't want to go –."

"Clare, it's not that I don't want to . . . I'm just nervous about it."

"Are you sure you want to go? I know my parents can be uncomfortable to be around. Trust me, they were like that with K.C, Darcy's boyfriends, and a few other people."

"It's not them Clare."

"It's not you either."

"Even before I even knew them I was nervous about meeting them. And I felt this way the first time I had dinner with them . . . well, maybe a little less nervous. The point is, no matter how long I wait, I'm still going to feel the same way until I go ahead and do it."

"I see. So you're absolutely sure you want to go?" Clare asked as they walked into the English classroom.

"It's now or never," Eli declared before they started heading back to the class.

The two of them walked to their desks and saw Kate and Adam in the middle of a conversation.

"There're Romeo and Juliet," Adam remarked as they sat down.

"How's your first day been so far?" Clare asked Kate.

"Loving it," Kate smiled. "Now I see why you guys like it here so much. But . . . what's with the security and everything?"

"Uh . . . there were a few incidents at this dance last year and the school decided to buckle down."

"Before we were actually allowed to wear what we wanted . . . I miss that," Eli stated.

"We know," Clare and Adam chorused. This wasn't the first time Eli said something against the uniforms.

"Settle down everyone," Miss Dawes called to order. "I would like you all to welcome our new student, Katherine Parker."

"It's Kate, ma'am," Kate corrected politely.

"Sorry. This is Kate and I want you all to make her feel welcome."

A few students murmured "hi" and a few students waved before Miss Dawes continued.

"Kate, if it's alright with you, you will be working with Clare, Eli, and Adam on this next assignment."

The quartet nodded at each other, evidently please with the arrangement.

"To continue our lesson on authors of the 18th and 19th centuries, I would like you all to see what it was like for them to write a story. I would like you all to write a fictional story around five chapters long with around five or more pages in each chapter and I would like experiences from your own lives to influence the story. This will be due next Tuesday and today is the only opportunity you'll have in class to work on this, so please down mess around. You may begin. "

The group tried to get started, but there was just one problem . . . they had no idea what the story should be about.

"Come on Eli and Clare! You guys are the writers! Are you telling me that neither of you can't think of anything?" Adam demanded.

"Adam, we're not genies. We can't spit out ideas every time you ask us too."

They thought of ideas then discarded them over and over again. By the time the class was about to end, all they had was a few characters. They had the character descriptions completed just before the bell rang. They walked outside, deciding to get some fresh air for their Study Period.

"So, have teachers been saying 'we have a new student' to your classes all day?" Clare asked as they sat at one of the picnic tables.

"Oh yeah," Kate answered.

"But it wasn't as bad as what happened second period," Eli reminded, sitting right next to Clare and wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"What happened?" Clare asked.

"Some guy in our French class walks up behind us and screams 'hey everyone! There's a new girl at the school! Do her before someone else does!'"

"Wow," Clare said in disbelief.

"Yeah, that wasn't the highlight of my day," Kate said.

"It could've been worse . . . someone could've been even ruder and actually asked you to do it with them in the janitor's closet," Adam said, sitting on the table so he was looking down at Kate.

Kate started to giggle, and it wasn't exactly an "ooh that's so funny" kind of giggle; no, this one more flirtatious.

"Well, let's hope that doesn't happen," Clare hoped.

"Has that ever happened to anyone at this school?"

"Don't know, but just about everything happens here," Eli said.

"For real?"

"For real," Adam, Clare, and Eli said in unison.

"Great, now I'm not sure if I should be intrigue or terrified."

"Don't worry. Just don't get mixed in with the wrong crowds and don't cross any lines and everything will be smooth sailing," Adam told her.

"You guys should write a book. _Degrassi: The Does and Don'ts That Will Help You Survive_. I'd buy it."

"We'd probably run out of things to say," Eli mentioned.

"Please, you're the person who's been telling me to stay clear of certain people all day."

"That could be the first chapter. _Chapter One: To Trust or Not to Trust_, _Those are the People_," Clare suggested.

"Then the second chapter could be _Chapter Two: The Janitor's Closet, Is It Clean_ _or Dirty_?" Adam spit-balled.

"Then _Chapter Three: Why You Shouldn't Walk Through Degrassi Alone_," Eli said.

They were all silent for a second until they finally realized what they were saying.

"That's it!" they all exclaimed.

Adam sat on the bench next to Kate as they all got out their English materials and started to work on the story. For the remainder of the Study Period, they worked on the plot of their story and they were pleased with what they came up with thus far. Unfortunately, they were too busy discussing ideas and taking notes that they didn't really have time to write anything. They were about to start Chapter One when the bell rang.

"Bad timing!" Eli yelled to the bell. They gathered their materials and made their way back up to the school.

"So, Kate, ready to go Media?" Adam asked.

"Let's go."

"See you guys at lunch," Clare said to them as they walked down the hall.

"Now, onward we go," Eli said as he and Clare walked down the hall to their separate classes.

()()

"So how do you like Degrassi?" Clare asked as she and Kate went through one of the lunch lines. Adam and Eli were going by their lockers before they got lunch, so they promised to meet the girls at the table.

"It's cool. A bit different from my school in Montreal but it's still awesome."

"And it's just your first day. It'll only get better from here," Clare promised.

"It sucks that I'm only here one more school year," Kate complained as they made their way to the table.

"Just enjoy it while you can."

"Believe me, I'm going to. So what extracurricular activities are at this school?"

"Well, there're plenty of them," Clare began after swallowing a bit of her egg salad sandwich. "There's Student Council, Power Squad, Jesus Club, Drama Club, Music Club, and there are _tons_ of others depending on what you like to do."

"They all sound interesting; I just don't know wish one to join."

"You can do as many as you like. But Student Council is only interesting if you're up for it and, unless you want to have a small role, you have to know the school pretty well."

"Okay, scratch that one off the list. How about Power Squad?"

"Do you like cheerleading?"

"Not particularly."

"Then you probably wouldn't like it."

"Hmm . . . what should I join?" Kate contemplated. "What clubs are you in, Clare?"

"Jesus Club and Drama," Clare answered. "They're both pretty good, but more people are in Drama."

"I don't know about Drama. I don't really like big crowds –."

"Says the person who went to a party the minute she got here," Clare kidded.

Kate laughed.

"But the crowd isn't too big; there are only twenty or twenty-five people. Plus I'll be there with you . . . Eli and Adam are also in it."

Kate thought it over for a second.

"I have always liked the theatre," she admitted. "Okay, you've talked me into it."

"Cool. We meet during Study Period on Tuesdays and we stay after school for two hours on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Gotcha. So what play are you guys doing?"

"We haven't started on one yet since it's the beginning of the school year. Right now we're just doing acting exercises and stuff like that. But we do two big productions a year. We do one in the winter and another in the spring before school gets out for summer."

"Okay . . . but I'm not much of an actress."

"Neither am I," Clare reassured. "I usually work on sets, props, etc. But I'm hoping to write the script for one of the plays this year."

"You guys can do that?"

"Yeah. The students run the club so we have to do the directing, writing, choreography, the whole shebang. We just have a teacher there to supervise, to keep us from goofing off, and to teach us some acting exercises."

"This club is sounding more and more interesting," Kate admitted. She seemed to be getting really enthusiastic about it.

"If you don't act what do you think you do?"

"I'm not sure. Set design, costume, and choreography all sound good . . . if it's a musical I wouldn't mind composing music or writing lyrics."

"Perfect. I'll put in a good word with when the teacher assigns the people."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

They were quiet for a minute so they could eat a bit of their lunch.

"You know," Kate began after swallowing a bit of salad. "Don't get me wrong, Adam and Eli are cool, but it's nice to have a girl to talk to."

"Yep," Clare agreed. "Sometimes you just need that feminine support."

"Exactly," Kate smiled. "Speak of the devils."

Adam and Eli joined them a few seconds later. Eli, of course, sat next to Clare as Adam sat between Kate and Eli.

"Okay, Eli is officially a genius!" Adam stated.

"I'm not a genius, I'm gifted in the cranium," Eli corrected.

"Whatever he is, he just thought of an idea for our story."

"Details! Details!" Clare urged.

"Okay . . . you know how originally we were going to have two of the main characters fall in love? Well, instead of them falling in love and living happily ever after, how about they betray each other halfway through and they return to people they were with before?"

"That gives us an opportunity to introduce the people who are going to be in the huge clash," Clare realized.

"Exactly."

"I don't care what you say, you _are _genius!" Clare declared.

"You are," Kate agreed.

"I don't believe it but okay," Eli accepted.

"Modest," Kate muttered to Clare, who nodded in agreement.

"So, you guys want to meet after school and work on the story?" Adam asked.

"I'm up for it. Where are we gonna go?"

"We have to take you to the Dot," Eli said immediately.

"The Dot?"

"AKA the best coffee shop on Earth and Canada," Clare smiled.

"Sweet; this is officially the greatest place ever."

"You've barely been here a week," Eli reminded.

"It's still the greatest place ever," Kate debated. She raised her bottle of juice to the center of the table. "To Degrassi."

Clare raised her water bottle, Eli raised his soda can, and Adam raised his lemonade as they held their beverages next to Kate's.

"To Degrassi!"

* * *

"_No one is as lucky as us_

_We're not at the end but we already won"_

_~"Where the Lines Overlap" by Paramore_

* * *

I've already made up my mind about Kate and the role she's gonna play in this story and I'm hoping you guys keep reading no matter what. I'm going to say right now that she's probably not going to steal Eli away from Clare (that would just make Eli look like a _huge _jerk and contradict what I wrote in Chapter Two), but I would be lying if I said there's not going to be a love triangle of some kind later on down the road. This is going to be an EClare romance fic in the end, but there will be tons of drama in between!

So what did you guys think of this chapter? And do you guys think my chapters are too long? Next chapter will be Eli's dinner with Clare's family! Until next time my friends! Reviews please!


	7. Run, Don't Walk

Whoa! I've never had so many story alerts put on for a story . . . thank you people! And thanks KitKat0219 for the review! Sorry, but the dinner will be in the next chapter, not this one. Okay, next chapter! Here it goes! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, a convertible, or a skyscraper!

* * *

Chapter Seven

Run, Don't Walk

"Clare, I've finished that one part of the story," Kate told Clare on Friday. She caught Clare at her locker before she, Kate, handed her a folder of their English assignment. They'd been working on it everyday after school at the Dot and each day someone would take it home and work on it. "Do you mind looking over it?"

"No problem," Clare replied, taking the folder.

"Thanks. So you, me, Adam, and Eli are still going to the Dot again Saturday to finish it up, right?"

"Yep. Hopefully we'll get it done so we can enjoy the rest of the weekend."

"True. We only have one more chapter to finish."

"So what are your plans for the weekend? Another wild party?"

Kate chuckled.

"Nah, I'm probably just gonna chill at home after we finish the assignment. Not that I have a choice."

"Why not?" Clare asked, closing her locker.

"I have to baby-sit my sister; my parents are going to meet some people from my dad's job."

"That shouldn't be bad."

Kate shrugged.

"She may appear to be the typical seven-year-old, but you leave her alone with you and she'll make you go insane."

"Okay, maybe it could be bad," Clare accepted. "Want me to come over and give you a hand?"  
"It's okay; I'm sure you have better things to do on a Saturday."

"Not really. Eli and Adam are going to see one of those sci-fi movies and my friend Alli is going to be at a family dinner, so I have nothing else to do."

Kate thought over Clare's invitation.

"My sister can get pretty wild," she warned.

"That's not a problem; I deal with ten hyper kids at my church nursery all the time. Trust me, helping you take of your sister will be a piece of cake."

Kate smiled, obviously glad that to find Clare as a friend.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's no problem."

"Alright. Thanks, Clare," Kate said.

"Hey, what are friends for?"

()()

Eli made a turn at a corner before he saw the hallway that contained Clare's locker, where he knew she would be at this time of day. He was about to go talk to her before he had to go to his History class, but he saw her talking to Kate. By the looks of it, they were in the middle of a good discussion so he decided not to interrupt. He then leaned against the wall and waited for their conversation to be finished before he went to talk to his girlfriend.

"Hey man," Adam greeted as he joined Eli.

"Hey."

Adam looked down the hall and saw the two girls chatting.

"Looks like Kate and Clare have been getting along alright."

"You should've seen them at the party; it turns out they have _a lot_ in common. It's like they were separated at birth. You wait; they'll be best friends in no time."

"So we're no longer the Three Musketeers . . . we're the four . . . the four . . . we're the Beatles," Adam concluded.

"Dibs on being John Lennon," Eli dubbed.

"John Lennon got killed."

"I'm living in the pre-breakup world, man."

"Gotcha . . . so is _the_ Kate?"

"Yeah," Eli replied softly.

"The Kate you told me about while you were thinking about going out with Clare?" he made sure.

"The very same."

"Was she another reason why you didn't immediately go out with Clare? Besides Julia, I mean."

"Don't be ridiculous; if I _did_ decide to keep that promise, I wouldn't have dated Clare _or_ Julia."

"Good point . . . and you're sure Kate's cool with Clare?"

"I'm positive."

"That's good."

Eli thought they were at the end of this conversation, but Adam continued.

"Because if a girl said that to _me_ and I saw _her_ with someone else ten years later –."

"I get it, Adam. But no, Kate is fine with it."

"Okay . . . I just have an uneasy feeling about all this."

"An uneasy feeling about what?"

"Kate saying she's fine with it. I'm not so sure that's the complete truth."

"Adam," Eli groaned. "It's been a decade."

"I'm sorry, but whenever I have an inkling I go with it."

"But your inkling could be wrong."

"It may be, but –."

"Then let's not go assuming the worst is going on because of an inkling."

Before Adam could say anymore, Eli walked away and went towards Kate and Clare.

"Hi Eli," Kate greeted.

"Hey," Eli greeted, trying to push his slight annoyance with Adam to the back of his mind.

"Well, I have to stop by the library before the bell rings. I'll see you later Clare and I'll see you in History," Kate added to Eli.

"See you at lunch," Clare called as Kate walked away.

"Still on for tonight?" Eli asked, taking Clare's hands as she leaned against her locker.

"Little Miss Steaks, six o'clock sharp," Clare replied. "Are you ready or are you still nervous about the whole thing?"

"Honestly . . . I don't know. I mean, I want to go but part of me is dreading it."

"Don't worry, it'll be fine. Plus, I feel the same way."

"Why? You aren't the one who's on thin ice with your girlfriend's parents."

"I know; I just mean I'm worried for you . . . and I'm sort of nervous about how my parents are going to be."

"Did you tell them to forget about last time?"

"I did, but I'm not sure if they'll completely forget it or not," Clare answered sympathetically.

Eli then forgot his conversation with Adam about Kate completely and started worrying about this upcoming evening. All he saw was Clare's parents' disapproving faces. The very image made him more and more apprehensive about the night ahead.

"Eli?" Clare's voice said, interrupting his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked. Since he zoned-out, Eli was looking at Clare with creepy looking eyes.

"Sorry," he said, blinking and making his eyes softer. "My mind was somewhere else."

"I've noticed."

"I'm sorry, Clare," he repeated. "I know I shouldn't be nervous, but I can't help it."

"I know. But think of it this way, at least you won't be alone."

"That's definitely an improvement," he agreed smoothly.

Clare smiled and took a step closer to him and moved one of her hands to his shoulder.

"And we have a few hours after school until have to go to the restaurant . . . what do you say to sometime together?"

"You don't have to ask me twice," Eli grinned, trying to suppress his nerves.

The bell rang, which meant that their time together was complete until they met again.

"See you in English."

"See you there. Love you," Eli said as he started to separate his hands from Clare's.

"Love you too," she replied before they went down opposite ends of the hall.

()()

History class was droning on for Eli. He stopped paying attention to the lesson on the Russian Revolution a long time ago and thought about the night of head, his nerves getting worse and worse by the minute.

"So, in the end, who was one of the leaders who carried out the idea of Communism? Mr. Goldsworthy?" Mr. Perino asked. Eli was so distracted that he just continued to stare at his desk while he absentmindedly tapped a pen on his desk. He didn't even hear Perino calling his name over and over again.

"Mr. Goldsworthy?" the teacher repeated. "Mr. Goldsworthy?"

"_Eli_," Adam hissed, hitting Eli in the shoulder.

"Yeah, what?" he asked, his head being pulled out of the clouds.

"Would you care to join the class and answer the question?"

"Oh . . . um . . . could you repeat it?"

"Please start paying attention," he requested of him before repeating the question.

"Stalin," Eli answered, relieved he knew the answer to the question so he wouldn't continue to look like an idiot.

"Correct."

Perino continued to speak, but it wasn't long until Eli lost focus again. It was pure music to his ears when the bell finally rang and he was finally able to leave the class.

"I gotta get going to quick Science Club meeting; I'll see you guys soon," Adam called as he left Kate and Eli.

"Are you okay? You've seemed distracted all day," Kate mentioned as she and Eli walked down the hallway.

"Oh, I'm fine . . . I'm just not focused today."

"I can tell. You're about to walk into the girl's room," she pointed out before Eli waltzed into the wrong restroom.

"Right," he sighed, walking back down the hall.

"Is something wrong?" Kate asked.

"I'm freaking out . . . I'm going to dinner with Clare and her parents tonight."

"Yikes."

"Yeah . . . I'm worried about it," he confessed.

"Naturally you would be. Is this your first time meeting them?"

"Second . . . and the first time wasn't the greatest experience. Please don't make me go into details."

"Okay, it's none of my business anyway. But don't worry yourself too much. It's just dinner."

"You say dinner, I say mission impossible."

"Now you must be exaggerating," Kate said with a laugh. "If they raised Clare they can't be that bad."

"I know . . . and I want to know them . . . but I'm just a bit nervous."

"A bit?" Kate asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, extremely!" Eli admitted. "And I don't know why I'm even feeling _this _nervous."

"Have you talked to Clare about it?"

"Kind of, but my nerves aren't calming down."

"That's because they're _nerves_, Eli, and that's what they do. They have to get worse and make you puke before they get better."

"Great," he said sarcastically.

"But maybe you're also worried about what could happen while you guys are having dinner."

"Like what?"

"Hmm . . . like . . . what Clare may think of you afterwards?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean . . . if you . . . screw-up, she may think of you as tactless or something."

Eli felt his heart ache as he consumed this thought. This didn't even occur to him

until now. All he thought about was how the Edwards would react to him and he felt terrible for not even considering what Clare would think.

"That actually didn't even bother me until now; thank you," he mentioned to Kate

acrimoniously.

"Sorry."

"Oh my God. What if that happens . . . what if I do something so incredibly stupid that she can't even look me in the eye? She'll never want to speak to me again!"

"Calm down! Maybe that's not the only thing that could happen . . . what about the questions they might ask you?" she suggested.

"That . . . might be it," he concluded. Now that he thought about it, it wasn't the fact he'll be in the same room with them and the conversations they'll have, but the questions they'll probably ask him.

"I'm screwed!"

"No you're not."

"You don't understand. Clare's parents and I are complete opposites. What if they ask me questions and my answers don't satisfy them?"

"Well, you're being honest and they'll admire that," Kate said with a half-shrug. "Just be gentle and mature in the way you answer them if a question like that comes up."

They sat down on a bench along the wall in the hall underneath a bulletin board. Kate's words didn't make him feel much better, but at least he knew what the source of his excessive nerves could possibly be.

"Here, let's role play."

"What?" he exclaimed, clearly taken aback and hoped she was kidding.

"Trust me. Pretend I'm Clare's mom and imagine that you're at dinner."

"Okay," Eli accepted slowly. "Shoot."

Kate cleared her throat and made her voice an octave or two lower than her usual voice.

"Eli, it is so nice of you to join us for dinner this eve – stop laughing," Kate said when Eli started to chuckle at her bad impersonation. "You wouldn't laugh at her mother, would you?"

"Right, sorry," Eli said, catching his breath. "Okay, okay, continue."

Now that Eli was composed and calm, Kate started talking as Mrs. Edwards again.

"Eli, please tell us what you would like to do after you graduate from Degrassi."

"Well, _Mrs. Edwards_, I'd like to go to Ottawa University and study writing for a few years before becoming a teacher or writer of some kind."

"That's good," Kate congratulated before continuing as Clare's mom. "Have you ever been arrested?"

"No, ma'am, I have not."

"And how many previous girlfriends have you had prior to Clare?"

"I have had one other girlfriend, but I'm really glad I found your daughter and I'm glad to be with her."

"The 'I'm so lucky' approach; that's good," Kate approved. "And how are you grades?"

"They're fine; I've actually been trying really hard to be a straight-A student."

"Good . . . now, Eli, are you thinking about being intimate with Clare?"

"_Kate_!" Eli screeched, shocked that anyone would say that so bluntly.

"Mrs. Edwards," Kate corrected.

"No, Kate, I am _not_ answering that!" Eli refused, standing up and walking down the hall to escape this embarrassing question.

"Those are the kind of questions they'll probably ask you, Eli," Kate stated as she caught up with him. "It's always better to expect the unexpected and you'll have to answer their questions whether they're embarrassing or not. If you don't, they'll assume you're dishonest."

"I know. I'll just wait and see what they have to say."

"And if they ask you something awkward?"

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

"Okay, whatever you say . . . it's not _my head _on the chopping block," Kate reminded.

The bell rang overhead, signaling them to go to their next class.

"And it's also a good idea for you to ask them a few questions. That will make you seem like you're interested in them and you're dedicated to being with Clare."

"Good idea. Thanks Kate."

"Hey, what are friends for?" she asked rhetorically, knowing that she used a phrase Clare had said to her barely an hour ago.

()()

Throughout the rest of the day, Eli's nerves were consistent. He didn't feel less anxious, but he figured it was a positive that he didn't get more nervous. The thing that kept him calm was the fact that Clare was going to be there with him the whole time and she'd be pulling him out of the deep water if they ever got that far . . . that is if she didn't get upset about what might happen if he did something wrong.

The bell finally rang to symbolize the beginning of the weekend. Adam and Kate bade Eli good luck and farewell at his locker before they left.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine!" Kate called from down the hall.

Eli hoped she was right as he put his books in his locker. He tried to remain optimistic for the rest of the day but, in the end, he'd always start to worry and countdown the minutes until he could either meet paradise or his doom.

_Why did I agree to this_? he demanded of himself.

The question answered itself when he closed his locker and looked down the hallway. Clare was walking towards him with a small grin on her angelic face. She looked pleased to see him, despite the fact her insides were churning.

"Hi," she greeted him. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," he answered semi-honestly as he took her hand.

"Not worried?"

"Well . . . a little."

"Don't worry, I have faith in you."

"Thank you."

There was silence for a second or two until Clare spoke again. However, her voice was a little rough. In fact, it was a complete contrast to her caring voice before.

"And I'm sure my parents won't ask you too many uncomfortable questions," she told him as they walked out of the school and to the student parking lot. "And I'm sure your answers will satisfy them . . . and I'm sure the dinner won't be mission impossible."

Eli realized that she was pointing out most of his fears about tonight. But he recalled only mentioning them to one person . . .

"Kate told you?" he concluded as they both got inside Morty.

"At lunch while you and Adam went to the bathroom."

"Damn it," he growled under his breath.

"And that's not all she told me," Clare continued.

Eli stared at his hands, which were rested on the steering wheel and didn't look at Clare.

"What else did she tell you?"

"She said something about how I may not be able to look you in the eye if you do something stupid or tactless," Clare informed.

"Why did she have to tell you that?" he rhetorically asked in frustration.

"You tell me," Clare snapped. "Why did I have to find out from _her_?"

"It's just that . . . I didn't . . ." he struggled to find the right words. "I didn't want you worrying more than you already were."

"So I have to find out from Kate about what you were freaking out about? You could've just told me yourself if you were _that_ upset!"

"I didn't want Kate to tell you," Eli stated. "That was a private conversation and she had no right to say anything you."

Clare was now getting angry and Eli had three different emotions at once: anger, frustration, and worry.

"Well, I'm glad she did! _You _weren't going to tell me, so _someone _had to! I would like to know if someone thinks me and my family are unbelievably judgmental!"

"I never said you guys were!" Eli said, raising his voice a little. "I'm just under a lot of stress, okay!"

"My parents aren't monsters! They aren't going to judge you to the bare minimum! They want to give you a chance! And, if you want the truth, it was _their _idea to invite you to this dinner, not mine!"

Eli was taken aback.

"What?" he asked, looking at Clare for the first time since they entered the hearse.

"Well, not exactly _this_ dinner in particular, but a few weeks ago before school started back up, they suggested that I should ask you if you wanted to join us for one of our family dinners someday. Then you and the two of them kept saying things about getting to know each other more over the last two weeks, so I figured it was time for you three to meet again."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds.

"Why didn't you tell me that?" Eli asked.

"You didn't exactly tell me anything other than you were just naturally nervous. The best advice I can give you for that is be yourself."

For the first time in God knows when, Eli Goldsworthy was at a loss for words.

"And," Clare continued, "I can understand why you'd be worried about my parents' reactions, but what the heck was all this crap about me thinking less of you?"

"I wasn't even thinking that until Kate suggested it," Eli piped in at last.

"Still, why would you even consider that? I know who you are Eli! And even if you do mess-up, which I doubt you will, I'm not going to hate you for it! You should know that by now I'm not going to leave you because of something small like that! No matter what happens tonight, nothing is going to change about what I think or how I feel about you!"

Eli saw the hurt in Clare's eyes. He looked down guiltily at the steering wheel and thought for a second. Clare was right; he shouldn't have thought those things about her _or _her parents. He knew that Clare was going to stay by his side no matter what. She did tell him that he was the one for her after all. And he knew that Clare's parents weren't horrible people, so he had no right to think so negatively of them.

He turned his head and saw Clare looking out the passenger window. Eli took the hand that was rested on her lap. His touch made her head turn to him.

"You're right," he admitted. "I was an ass for thinking any of those things. And I should've gone to you instead of Kate."

Clare took a breath before she spoke.

"I overreacted a bit."

"No you didn't."

"I did. I shouldn't have jumped down your throat about the whole thing. I should've been calmer about it."

"You're nervous and what I said just pushed you over the top; don't worry about it."

"But you're more nervous and it made sense for you to think those things," Clare retorted.

She felt terrible for being so cruel to him. She should've given him so slack; he didn't exactly have a clean slate with the Edwards and she was sure her yelling at him wasn't helping his nerves.

"I'm really sorry," Eli told her.

"Me too," Clare said before they pulled each other into a comforting hug.

"I hate it when we fight," Eli confessed.

"So do I. Let's try not to fight anymore . . . for a while anyway."

"Agreed."

They sealed their deal with a kiss before they buckled their seatbelts and Eli put the car in gear.

"You know what? I don't feel so scared anymore. I should've come to you first."

Clare grinned as they drove off campus.

"So . . . _nothing_ I can do is going to change your mind about me?"

"Nothing," Clare reassured

"Absolutely nothing?"

"Even if you accidentally set Little Miss Steaks on fire, I'm still going to love you," Clare reassured.

"What if I did it on purpose?" Eli kidded.

"I'd still love you . . . but I'd be very worried about your sanity."

Eli chuckled as they went through the town and wondered how they were going to kill a few hours before they had to go to Little Miss Steaks.

* * *

_"Your mouth keeps moving, but I've lost focus now_

_Clock keeps ticking, time's running out_

_Where we're heading there is no heading back"_

_~"Run, Don't Walk" by Hey Monday_

* * *

This was definitely not my favorite chapter but I didn't want to rush into the dinner scene and I wanted to show a little bit more of Kate's character. Anyway, reviews please! I would really like some feedback on how I'm doing. And, honestly, do I make some of the EClare scenes (previous and present) too mushy? Honest reviews please! Peace!


	8. Courage Is

Sweet people! Reviews! They make me happy! Sorry it took me so long to update (dang school, projects, and a huge case of writer's block).

Before I begin this chapter officially, I just want to clear up two things. I was looking at some Degrassi sites and it said that Adam was in the same year as Clare. But, for argument's sake, let's just say that he's in Eli's grade in this story. Also, I also just found out that Degrassi school years start in September and not in August like I thought. Chapter One was suppose to begin in the beginning of September, a month after I thought Degrassi started. Again, can we just imagine that it starts in August? Thank you for understanding and I'm sorry for the mix-ups.

Anyway, I'm sorry but the dinner scene won't be till the next chapter . . . kidding! I'm not that evil! Here's the dinner chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any kind of pie (boo!).

* * *

Chapter Eight

Courage Is

Eli and Clare spent the last few hours talking inside Morty and looking over the chapter Kate gave Clare that morning. Clare thought it she did absolutely brilliant on this chapter, which involved the second-half of the climax and the falling action.

"Wow . . . this is _way _better than what I could've thought of," Clare stated, reading how Kate wrote the battle scene between the opposing sides. "I would've just let them all turn into gargoyles because of the chemical Julio's side came up with . . . but letting their hearts be the reason they could be immune to it is just _genius_!"

"It's good . . . but their hearts being the answer for everything has been done _way_ too many times."

"But that could be the moral of the story: love conquers all," she disputed.

"Again, it has been done too many times. It's a good idea, but I think we could all think of something a bit more original."

"Alright, we'll talk to Kate and Adam about it tomorrow," Clare said, making a note of it. "Are you mad at her?"

"No, I'm not mad. She was just being honest to you when I was not. No harm done," Eli replied.

"That's good; she was just trying to help after all."

"Which is exactly why I'm going to forgive, forget, and move on," he stated.

He looked at his watch and saw that it was ten minutes till six.

"And it's almost time to meet your parents."

"Alright," Clare said as Eli put the car in gear. "Are you still calm or are you extremely nervous again?"

"Somewhere in the middle," he answered honestly. "I don't want to puke my guts out anymore, but I'm feeling the natural nerves."

"Well, at least you're not spazing out," Clare smiled optimistically.

"Oh, trust me, you'll know when I'm spazing out," he told her as they drove down the road.

"I've seen you spaz out before," Clare reminded.

"When?"

"Over the summer when you were on that really big sugar-rush," she answered, grinning at the memory. "It took me and Adam _forever_ to get you calm again."

"Oh yeah," Eli remembered. "Not my best moment."

"I thought you were funny," Clare reassured.

"I'm glad you found my craziness amusing."

They both chuckled at the memory before they pulled up in front of Little Miss Steaks.

"They're here; I see their cars," Clare pointed out as she and Eli unbuckled their seatbelts and got out of Morty.

Eli closed his door and took a deep breath. His nerves, although not as severe as before, suddenly hit him in the gut. Clare noticed his now anxious demeanor. She walked to his side of the car so she was right beside him.

"Relax," she comforted as she gave his shoulder an encouraging squeeze. "Everything's going to be fine."

"I'm okay," he reassured. "Are you nervous?"

"A bit, but it'll blow over soon enough . . . for both of us," she added.

"And, until then, we can be nervous together."

Clare smiled and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek as an act of support before she took his hand. With one more look at each other, they made their way towards the restaurant.

They were a few feet away from the entrance when Eli let go of Clare's hand and beat her to the door so he could open it for her. Although he always opened doors for Clare in company with other chivalrous notions, he never thought anything of it. However, tonight, he hoped that the Edwards would notice all the polite things he did for their daughter.

Clare smiled at him as she walked into the restaurant. Eli followed her and they locked hands again as they observed the area and looked for her parents.

"There they are," Clare said. Eli also saw them. The two of them were sitting and conversing at a round table on the other side of the restaurant. Eli took one final deep breath before he and Clare walked towards them.

"So what should I call your mom? Has she gone back to her maiden name or –?" Eli asked, realizing that he had no idea what to call Clare's mother.

"She's been using the name Mrs. Edwards for nearly twenty years and she's not going to change it," she reassured. "She too used to it."

"Got it, thank you," Eli said before they arrived at the table.

"Mom, Dad, you remember Eli," Clare said, gesturing to Eli.

"It's nice to see you two again," Eli said formally to them, holding out his hand.

"You too," Mr. Edwards said, shaking Eli's hand.

"Eli," Mrs. Edwards grinned before they shook hands.

Eli pulled out a chair and gestured for Clare to sit in it.

"Thank you," she grinned at him before she sat down. "Always the gentleman."

Mrs. Edwards noticed the benevolent gesture and gave Eli a small grin as he sat

between her and Clare. Silence settled in and the quartet just looked at each other.

Needless to say it wasn't the most comfortable moment for them.

"This is nice," Clare stated as she felt the tension. "All of us here together again."

"Yes; thank you for inviting me," Eli said to all of them.

"It's no trouble, Eli," Mr. Edwards said.

The conversation ended there and no one else spoke again until a waitress came to take their orders. After all of them ordered their food and drink, Eli took a chance on breaking the silence and hoped that it wouldn't return.

"So . . ." he began to say, only to realize he had nothing to say.

"Yes?" Mrs. Edwards coaxed.

His mind was racing as he tried to remain calm while trying to think of something to say. He felt the hammering of his heart against his ribcage increase. Obviously not doing well under the pressure, Eli asked the first suitable, not to mention common, question that popped into his mind.

"How are you two doing?"

"Fine, thank you," Mr. Edwards replied.

"And how is school going, Eli?" Mrs. Edwards asked.

"It's going well, thanks," he replied, glad there was conversation.

"Eli has actually been helping me a lot in English," Clare mentioned, hoping that what she said would impress her parents. At the same time, however, she hoped that saying something positive would overshadow all the negative comments she said at their last dinner together.

"Not that she needs it; she's a very bright girl," Eli added.

"Come on, I wouldn't be surviving Senior Advanced English if it wasn't for you," she complimented him before turning to her parents. "Seriously, he is the best writer at Degrassi."

"I don't know; compared to you I'm an amateur."

"Don't be modest. He never gives himself enough credit," she told her parents.

"At least we know you're not a novice in English. How about your other classes?" asked Mr. Edwards.

"I'm doing pretty well in all of them, but English definitely my strongest area. I'm not really the best with science and math, but I'm getting by."

"You're not alone; I wasn't much of a math or science person myself when I was your age," Mrs. Edwards empathized.

"What did you enjoy learning in school?" Eli asked. He remembered Kate telling him that he should ask Clare's parents questions so he could learn about them and he thought this was the perfect time to ask one.

"I really enjoyed learning history," Mrs. Edwards answered. "I found the study of the past fascinating."

"That's interesting. What about you Mr. Edwards?"

"I was the exact opposite of you, actually. English was my worst subject and math was my best."

"Really?"

"Yep," Mr. Edwards answered. "But I remember when I was in my last year of high school, my grades dropped from great to horrible in a blink of an eye."

"Why?" Eli asked, knowing that Mr. Edwards mentioned this so he could explain why to Eli.

"I met someone and it wasn't too long until my grades were my last priority."

"Oh . . ." Eli said, unsure of what else to say. He was now caught off guard and his mind became a blank canvas.

"Then we broke-up. Unfortunately, my grades were so bad that it was a miracle that I passed."

_Please stop talking, please stop talking_, Clare begged in her mind.

"Which is why, Eli, I'm hoping that nothing distracts you from your classes."

"Randall," Mrs. Edwards snapped. "This isn't an appropriate conversation."

"What? I'm just talking."

"Oh, it's obvious what you're really trying to say," she sneered.

"Guys," Clare tried to intervene. Why did they have to fight here? Why did they have to fight now?

"What do you think I'm trying to say?" Mr. Edwards demanded.

"You're saying Clare's a distraction to him."

"No, I'm not saying that!"

"You're thinking it!"

"Oh, so you're a mind-reader now?" Mr. Edwards snapped sarcastically.

A few people at some tables close by were now staring at them. Although Mr. and Mrs. Edwards didn't pay mind to them, Eli and Clare were quite uncomfortable.

"Guys, people are staring," Clare tried to tell them, but they just kept fighting.

"Or are you saying that he's a distraction to Clare?"

_I'm sitting right here_, Eli growled in his head.

"Can't I just have a conversation without being accused?"

"You've done this with everyone. Spinner, Peter, K.C, _now_ Eli! It's obvious you don't want our daughters dating anyone because you think they don't have a stable head on their shoulders."

"I don't think that!"

"But, just to remind you, Eli just said that his grades aren't bad although he _is_ in a relationship with Clare! Give him some credit!"

"Guys!" Clare repeated loud enough so they would both be quiet. "Please remember that we're in public, and we have guest here who you want to get to know and _not_ scare away."

Mr. and Mrs. Edwards glared at each other before they looked away and made a silent, mutual vow to try not to fight anymore that night.

"You're right Clare. We apologize to the both of you," Mr. Edwards said.

"It's okay," Eli and Clare said in unison.

The silence returned once again. Clare was still a bit annoyed at her parents and she knew she had the right to be. Eli mustered up all his courage to come here to see them and they start arguing right in front of him. She felt sorry for Eli; he didn't have to hear their dispute when he was under enough stress as it is. She turned to him and saw him looking at the center of the table.

It was a relief when the waitress returned with their food. She left them with their food when yet another awkward moment set in. It was a similar moment that they experienced last time they met.

The Edwards remembered Clare mentioning Eli being an Atheist and, although they didn't easily overlook it, they accepted it and they knew it wasn't their place to convince him otherwise. But they didn't want to be rude and exclude him from the rest of them by not including him in prayer. At the same time, however, they didn't feel right merely _thinking_ of the idea of not thanking the Lord for their meal.

Eli looked away. It was a subtle way to let them know that they could go ahead and pray and he wouldn't mind. The Edwards family bowed their heads and folded their hands as Mrs. Edwards began to pray.

"Heavenly Father, we thank you for this meal and allowing the four of us to reunite once again. In Jesus name we pray, amen."

"Amen," the other two Edwards chorused before they all began to eat.

"So . . . how did you two meet?" Mrs. Edwards asked, trying to recover from the moment.

"That's actually a funny story . . ." Eli began, relieved to hear a break in the tension.

Eli and Clare both reflected on the day they met when Eli accidentally ran over Clare's glasses with his hearse. Both of her parents intently listened to the story from beginning to end. Mrs. Edwards seemed to enjoy it a bit more than her ex-husband. She smiled on occasion and went "aww" when Clare told them about Eli complimenting her eyes. Mr. Edwards, on the other hand, seemed a bit more stone-faced about the whole thing.

It's common nature for a concerned father to worry about his little girl's safety especially when she's sixteen years of age and when she's dating a boy from a totally different background. That's how Mr. Edwards was feeling at this point in time and Eli could sense it.

He remembered Julia's dad being like this at times. But he remembered that the more her dad got to know Eli the closer they became. He just hoped that this was the same situation with Clare's father. However, he knew that it would take a bit longer to gain Mr. Edwards's trust than he hoped considering that they got off on the wrong foot.

()()

As the dinner continued, the setting became more and more comfortable. Each of their conversations lasted five minutes at least and silence only came to them when they paused to eat. Even Mr. Edwards had a seven minute conversation with Eli about some current events. However, one could tell that Clare's father was slightly apprehensive about speaking to Eli.

They had been in the restaurant for almost an hour and they were almost finished eating their dessert when the bombshell of a question was brought to the table.

"Eli, I'm sorry to say this so bluntly but I have to ask it," Mrs. Edwards began. "Are you thinking about having sex with Clare?"

"_Mom_!" Clare hissed as she felt her face turning red.

Eli heard this question and many things happened to him at once. He felt his body temperature rise as the walls seemed to be closing in around him and as he felt his mind go into frenzy. He knew his answer, but for some reason the question itself seemed to make him feel out of place. He didn't even bother to feel surprised that Kate had predicted this very question.

"That's actually a fair question," Mr. Edwards said. "And I would actually like to know the answer."

Clare looked at her parents with glaring eyes as her red face bore the expressions of embarrassment and anger. Of all the questions they had to ask him, it had to be _this _one. She wished for nothing more than to both her and Eli to disappear into thin air. She saw Eli's face go slightly pale.

"W-Well," Eli stammered.

"Guys, that is a personal matter between me and Eli that shouldn't be –."

"It's okay, Clare," Eli reassured. Out of nowhere a boatload of confidence swelled inside him and he spoke without hesitation or regret. "I'm going to be honest. I love your daughter. I think she's smart, beautiful, and she's definitely the greatest girl I've ever met. I respect her choices even if I don't always agree with them. I have a lot of respect for her and I wouldn't do anything to go against her values or wishes. And, even if I was thinking about being intimate with her, if she didn't want to do anything, I'll support that a hundred percent. Just being with her almost every day is fine for me and I won't ask for anything more than that."

Clare felt so touched when she heard these words. She knew Eli felt this way, but to actually hear him say it was out of this world. Smiling, she grabbed his hand that was resting on the table and held it tight.

"That's very sweet Eli," Mrs. Edwards said, obviously a little affected by it herself.

"Indeed," Mr. Edwards agreed. "That is very thoughtful."

"Will that be all for today?" the waitress asked as she once again arrived at the table.

"Yes, thank you," Mr. Edwards obliged.

The waitress passed the check to him before walking away. Eli began to pull out his wallet for he wanted to pay for his food at least.

"It's alright, Eli," Mrs. Edwards said.

"No, really, I don't mind," he objected.

"Don't worry about it," Mr. Edwards stepped in.

"I wouldn't mind contributing," he protested.

"Eli, please. It's okay," Mrs. Edwards reassured. Before Eli could say anything else on the matter, the divorcees went to the front of the restaurant to pay for the meal. After they left, Eli accepted defeat and put his wallet away. He and Clare saw the two parents talking as they made their way to the front desk and they kept talking until they came back to the table. Based on anyone's observations, one could tell that they had a very important conversation. They sat down and looked straight at Eli and Clare.

"We would like to tell you both something," Mr. Edwards stated.

"Eli, we've been thinking a lot about you and Clare's relationship for awhile," Clare's mother began.

Clare and Eli felt their stomachs plunder to the ground as they prepared to hear the verdict.

"We're not going to lie," Mrs. Edwards continued.

_Uh-oh_, Clare thought as she prepared for the worst.

"When we first met you, we were a bit unsure about you dating our daughter. And, for a while, we were worried that Clare was making a bad choice."

_Nice choice of words, Mom_, Clare thought sarcastically. She looked at Eli and he didn't seem affected by the comment. Instead he sat there patiently and waited for them to finish.

"But, now that we had this dinner and we got to know you a bit better," Mrs. Edwards continued. Clare and Eli crossed their fingers under the table and waited for what she had to say. "We think that you're a very kind, sensible person who wants what's best for Clare. And we haven't seen her happier since she started dating you."

"We think that what's best for Clare is for her to be happy, and if she's happy with you, then we approve," Mr. Edwards concluded.

It took Eli and Clare all their will power and self control to not jump out of their seats and holler in joy.

"Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Edwards," Eli thanked as he wore a smile.

"Thank _you_, Eli," Mr. Edwards corrected. "I've never been so happy to be proven wrong."

"You're a good person Eli."

"Just don't give us a reason to change our minds," Mr. Edwards said with a smile. It was a smile that no one has seen all night, so seeing his smile was Eli and Clare's silver lining.

"I won't," Eli promised.

()()

Minutes later, everyone was set to depart. Mr. Edwards had already left and Clare, Eli, and Mrs. Edwards were getting ready to head home. Before she left, however, Clare wanted to talk to Eli.

"I'll be right there, Mom," Clare promised as she walked Eli to Morty. They stood by the driver's side of the car and locked hands. "See, I told you it wouldn't be a disaster."

"Yeah, it definitely went better than I thought it'd be."

"It could've been worse," Clare agreed. "My parents could've fought twice in one night."

Eli heard the bitterness in her voice when she concluded her statement.

"I don't believe they fought in front of you like that."

"It's okay," Eli reassured her. "Like you said, it could've been worse."

Clare nodded and sighed.

"I just thought . . . I didn't really see our clean slate starting off with them at each other's throats," she admitted.

"I was probably going to see them fighting at some point," Eli said. "At least the first time is out of the way."

Clare grinned at him.

"How is it that you can always look on the bright side?"

"I'm just awesome that way," he said, pretending to be cocky. Clare chuckled a bit before continuing.

"So, what do you think of them?" she asked.

"I like your parents; they're good people," he told her. "But I think your dad is still a bit unsure about me."

"Yeah, he's a dad that way. I'm sure he'll get use to you before too long. My mom seems to like you a lot though."

"Thankfully."

"And I'm sorry about the sex question. I had _no _idea they would ask something like that," Clare apologized, still shocked herself that her parents would ask such a thing.

"It's fine. They like me a bit more because of it so everyone wins."

"True . . . and you're still okay with us not doing it?" she asked, making sure that he was willing to continue with the relationship without intimacy.

"I'm perfectly fine with it."

She let out a small sigh in relief.

"I'm glad to hear you say that, because I've been giving it a lot of thought and I'm probably going to wait until I'm married."

"If that's your choice, I respect it," he answered honestly.

"Thank you."

She put her lips to his.

"It's still a maybe," she reminded him as she pulled away. "I haven't completely decided yet."

"Whatever you say," he assured her. "No pressure."

Clare then pulled him into a friendly hug, which he reciprocated.

"I love you," she whispered to him.

"I love you too," he replied.

Although he didn't want to, Eli knew that he had to let go of her at some point, so he just got it over with.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Eli told her as he released her.

"See you," Clare grinned as she walked away.

Eli climbed into the hearse and smiled in relief. The Edwards finally approved of him and they accepted him as Clare's boyfriend. He drove all the way home and he never stopped smiling the entire time. He couldn't believe that after nine months of waiting, he finally had that large amount of pressure lifted off his shoulders. It was like seeing a new horizon and a brighter future for him and Clare.

* * *

"_Take all my vicious words_

_And turn them into something good_

_Take all my preconceptions_

_And let the truth me understood"_

_~"Courage Is" by the Strange Familiar_

* * *

A _**HUGE **_thank you to my sister for helping with this chapter! I hope you guys liked this chapter and that I met all expectations! Reviews PLEASE!


	9. Born For This

Okay, first off, I freaking love you people! I seriously can't thank you guys enough for the feedback! I'd give you all hugs, but technology isn't that advanced yet! Anyway, this chapter is not going to be up to its usual par, but please bear with me for this chapter and then the good stuff will get started up again. Next chapter will be better and longer (I pinkie promise).

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. I don't own it in a box, I don't it with a fox, I don't own it in a house, I don't own it with a mouse, I don't own it here or there, I don't own it anywhere (except for this story) and that's all Sam-I-Am (and yes, I do like green eggs and ham).

* * *

Chapter Nine

Born For This

Not even the rain that poured the next day dampened Eli's spirits. He awoke to the sound of rainwater hitting the roof at nine o'clock on Saturday morning. He smiled as the memories of last night flooded back to him. He still couldn't believe that Clare's parents approved of him at last.

He wore that smile on his face as he showered, got changed, and went downstairs to get some breakfast. His parents, CeCe and Bullfrog, were already up and eating some breakfast at the table.

"Good morning," he greeted in a singsong voice as he poured himself a bowl of cereal and joined them at the table.

"Good morning," CeCe replied. "Someone's in a happy mood."

"Everything went well with Clare's parents last night?" Bullfrog asked.

"It was amazing," Eli said simply. "They actually like me now."

"And what's not to like?" Bullfrog smiled, giving Eli a thump on the back. "You got that Goldsworthy charm; it works every time."

"Not _every _time," Eli corrected remembering months before. However, compared to the dinner last night, that memory was basically history.

"Nine times out of ten, then," he accepted.

"You know what we should do? We should invite Clare and her parents over some time; you two have been dating for over nine months and we haven't met them yet," CeCe proposed.

"Now that's a good idea," Bullfrog agreed. "What do you say Eli?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Yeah we should have them over one day."

"Alright. So what do you have going on today?" CeCe asked her son.

"I'm going to the Dot so Adam, Clare, Kate, and I could finish our English assignment."

"Speaking of Kate, we haven't seen her or her parents in years. We should have _them_ over some time as well," Bullfrog mentioned.

"What is it with everyone wanting to see each other all of the sudden?" Eli joked.

()()

Eli left the house around eleven-thirty so he could pick-up Adam and meet Clare and Kate at the Dot. The rain was still pouring, but it wasn't enough to keep Eli off the roads. He pulled up in front of the Torres house. He was about to honk Morty's horn to signal to Adam that he was there; but before he had the chance, Adam came bolting out of the house and climbed right in the hearse.

"How did it go? How did it go?" Adam asked instantly.

"Hi to you too, Adam," Eli greeted as he began to drive down the street.

"Are we picking-up Clare?"

"She's carpooling with Kate."

"Okay. So, how did it go?"

"How did what go?" Eli asked coyly, knowing that it would just get on Adam's nerves.

"The Academy Awards!" Adam said sarcastically. "The dinner!"

"Oh that."

"Yes . . . and?" Adam coaxed.

Eli kept quiet. Adam was like his brother and, like all brothers, he enjoyed pulling his leg.

"Come on! Tell me!" Adam pleaded.

"Nah," Eli said. He knew it was mean to torture Adam, but it was so much fun at the same time.

"Dude, you can't freak out on me all week about a dinner then not tell me the outcome of said dinner. It's in the guy code!"

"It's in the guy code?" Eli repeated.

"Yes, right after 'bros before hoes'."

"You do know there is no actual thing called the 'guy code' right?"

"Well, I start writing it. Now tell me. _Please_."

Adam continued to beg Eli to tell him until they arrived at the Dot. Eli saw the absence of Clare and Kate as he and Adam sat down at a table.

"_Please_!"

"_Alright_!" Eli accepted.

"Plea – hu?"

Eli sniggered before he continued.

"This is what happened . . ."

Eli told Adam all the key points of last night that left Adam with a big smile on his face.

"See, everything has a way of working itself out. And you were worried."

"Yes, yes, I overreacted and I was wrong. Now, let's just wait for the girls get here so we can finish the assignment."

()()

Clare and Kate arrived ten minutes later. For hours, the four worked on the story until they had everything down from the last detail. No word was written incorrectly and not a comma was out of place. Relieved that they were finally done, Eli and Adam left in Morty and Kate and Clare left in Kate's car so they could go baby-sit Kate's sister.

When Kate and Clare arrived at her home, Kate's parents had already left but they left a note saying that her little sister had gone to a new friend's house. Since Clare was already there, Kate invited Clare to stay and watch a movie.

"So, how did the dinner go with Eli last night?" Kate asked as she put in the movie.

"Great," Clare smiled. "My parents like him."

"That's good. So everything went well? No mishaps or anything?"

"Well, there were a few incidents that were less than enjoyable. My mom came out and asked him if he wanted to have sex with me."

"_Seriously_?" Kate exclaimed.

"Yeah, and she wasn't exactly subtle about it."

"What did he say?" she asked as the movie loaded and she sat herself down on the couch next to Clare.

"He basically said that he respected my wishes and he wasn't going to say anything against them. Not exactly a straight answer, but it was good enough for my parents. Maybe now they won't give me a lecture every time we go out."

"Maybe," Kate nodded as the beginning of _Titanic_ began to play. "So what about you?"

"What about me?" Clare asked as she helped herself to some popcorn.

"Are _you_ thinking about having sex with Eli?"

Clare nearly choked on her popcorn. She coughed a bit and felt her eyes water a little before she was able to breathe normally and speak again.

"What?" she exclaimed.

"Are you thinking –?"

"I know what you said," Clare interrupted. "I mean . . . what the heck? You sounded just like my mother."

"Sorry, just curious," Kate apologized.

They were silent for a bit as they watched the movie. When the explorers found the mysterious drawing, Kate spoke to Clare again.

"So did anything else happen last night?" she asked.

"Not much other than conversation and eating. Why are you so interested?" Clare asked.

"I don't know," Kate shrugged. "Eli was just really freaked out yesterday and I just want to know that everything went fine."

"It did, and Eli calmed down after a while," Clare said. "Thanks again for telling me why he was in such a state."

"Anytime," Kate said. "Does he know I told you?"

"Well . . . yeah," Clare admitted apprehensively. "But I didn't tell him; he figured it out."

"It's okay; as long as everyone is happy it doesn't matter. But that explains why he barely talked to me today."

"I don't know why he didn't; he told me yesterday that he was going to let it go."

"I'm not sure if he did or not. You saw how distant he was with me today."

"Yeah . . . I don't know he wouldn't let it go if he hadn't already."

Kate took a breath before continuing.

"You know him better than I do," she stated. "Do you think this'll blow over or do I need to talk to him?"

"Eli has gotten over worst things that what you did. I'm sure by Monday he will have gotten over it and we would all be like the Beatles again."

"The Beatles?"

"Yeah, that's what Adam calls us now."

"Ah . . . pre-break-up, right?"

"Yep."

"Alright," Kate said as she and Clare gave each other a high-five and continued to watch the movie.

* * *

"_And it takes acquired minds_

_To taste, to taste, to taste this wine_

_You can't down it with your eyes"_

_~ "Born For This" by Paramore_

* * *

Obviously this was more of a filler chapter than anything (hence the lack of entertainment, the lack of detail, and why it is shorter than usual. Forgive me for that please). I do promise that everything will get better from here. Unfortunately, it's almost time for exams and we all know what that means: no time to do anything fun or interesting. I promise that whenever I get free time I'll try to write Chapter Ten and put it up, but I can't say when that'll be.

Things in this story are about to get dramatic and interesting very soon! MWHAHAHA! See you guys! Happy Easter! And if you don't celebrate it, Happy Belated Earth Day (and if you don't celebrate that, you're an alien. lol)!


	10. Tell Me Why

Well, the Degrassi writer's broke-up EClare. But, since this is a site for the fans, I'm obviously going against the writer's. I don't care what they say; Eli and Clare _are_ meant to be! And this is my story that I'm writing for my own enjoyment and how I think Degrassi should be! And, in my version, Clare LOVES Morty, Eli isn't 'manipulative', and she wants to be with him!

Sorry guys, needed to let that out! But who agrees with me out there? Anyway, thanks for the reviews again! Now here's Chapter Ten!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. If I did, I wouldn't be so p*ssed at it!

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Chapter Ten

Tell Me Why

"Eli."

Eli turned from his locker Monday morning and saw Kate coming his way. Somewhat crestfallen that it wasn't Clare walking towards him, he continued rummaging through his locker.

"Hey," he greeted halfheartedly.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure."

"Are you mad that I told Clare what you told me on Friday?"

He was silent for a second or two as he continued to look through his locker.

"No. Why?"

"You kind of froze me out on Saturday when the four of us finished that story at the Dot."

"Did I? My bad."

"I'm a big girl, Eli. You can be honest," she told him firmly.

Eli closed his locker and turned to Kate.

"I don't want to be mad, but I am. Well . . . I'm not really mad. I'm more . . . aggravated," he explained. "I just can't believe you told Clare something that was supposed to remain between you and me."

"In my defense, you didn't tell me that the conversation was confidential. And you weren't going to talk to Clare about it so someone had to."

"I know," Eli said. "But after you told her, she and I got into a fight."

"Ouch. Do you mean like a small verbal dispute kind of fight or a huge bloodbath sort of fight?"

"Let's just say it wasn't exactly a pleasant conversation," he admitted bluntly.

"I'm _so_ sorry," Kate apologized. "I didn't mean to cause trouble. I just wanted you to be honest with Clare."

"And yet _you_ were the one who ended up being honest with her," he reminded.

"I know," she agreed. "And _me_ being honest with Clare eventually led to _you_ being honest with Clare. Everything worked itself after that and you guys had a good dinner with her parents."

"Exactly."

"But, from this point forth, I promise to keep my mouth shut about certain things if you want me to."

"Deal," he accepted.

"Deal," Kate agreed. "So where is Clare anyway? And where's Adam?"

"Don't know," Eli answered. "Clare said she was taking the bus and where Adam can possibly be is a mystery to us all."

Kate giggled and leaned against the lockers.

"So did you and Clare enjoy your girl-time together?" Eli asked so they could have some conversation.

"Yeah," she replied. "We didn't end up baby-sitting, so we just watched movies all day. She told me the dinner went well."

"Do you two tell each other everything now?" Eli asked with a grin.

"Not _everything_ . . . if I did tell her everything, she'd probably kill us both."

"What could you possibly tell her that would make her feel that way?"

"Well, there's what we both promised each other," Kate reminded.

"Kate, let's remember that we were six."

"I know. Are you ever going to tell her?"

"Don't know," Eli shrugged. "We were young when we said it and we both agreed that it was in the past, so I don't see the point in telling her."

"Good point," Kate agreed. "Plus, if you did tell her, she'd probably feel a bit threatened by me."

"If I tell her it's ancient history, why would she feel that way?"

"Well, she's still a bit threatened by Julia even though she's gone, but I'm alive and breathing so –."

"Whoa! Wait!" Eli interrupted after he realized what she just said. "How do you know about Julia?"

"Adam told me."

"Figures," he muttered under his breath. "And . . . Clare's _threatened_ by Julia? Where the hell is that coming from?"

"I-I thought you knew," Kate stammered, her face turning red and a look of guilt on her face.

"No, I had no idea that she was threatened by my dead ex-girlfriend."

"Eli, please, _please_ don't tell her I told you," she begged of him. "She's just a bit . . . I don't know what she is, but forget I said anything, okay?"

"When did she tell you?" he asked sternly as he crossed his arms.

"That's not forgetting what I said."

"Kate, when did she tell you this?"

Kate sighed.

"A few days before the dinner."

"Great," he grunted sarcastically. "And she was jumping down _my_ throat about not talking to her about my problems."

"I'm sure that was just an effect from nerves because she was worried about you seeing her parents again. I'm sure she doesn't feel that way anymore."

"When did Adam tell you about Julia?" Eli demanded, ignoring what Kate just said.

"Uh . . . my first or second day here."

"Oh my God, is _nothing_ secret?"

"Eli, you and Clare just got over a _huge _stepping-stone in your relationship, so don't go taking step back because of something I said that was supposed to be private."

"I'm gonna go to class," Eli decided before walking passed Kate and going to his Calculus class.

He sat on top of his desk in the deserted classroom and pulled out his notebook that contained a story he'd been working on since the beginning of the school year. He tried to work on it but he felt so frustrated with Clare that he could barely hold his pencil without snapping it in half. Why would she feel threatened by Julia? He just didn't understand.

"Kate told me you'd be in here," someone spoke a few minutes later while he was consumed by his thoughts.

Eli looked up and saw Clare entering the class. Although he was a bit annoyed by her keeping a worry that big from him, he decided to keep his mouth shut so Kate wouldn't have to feel Clare's wrath later. However, he was worried that Clare would sense that he was angry. He attempted to keep a poker face and to maintain his casual tone of voice.

"Well, I'm here," he answered her.

She sat on a desk across from him and the notebook caught her attention.

"I haven't seen that out for a while. Finally got an idea for it?"

"Not really . . . just looking over it," Eli replied.

"It's a start."

"I guess," he shrugged.

He wasn't exactly doing the best job of keeping his anger on the down-low; his eyes were full of frustration and his voice became harsher every time he spoke. Clare noticed his odd demeanor; he never says "I guess" when it came to his stories.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine," he replied simply.

"Are you sure? You don't seem yourself."

"So?"

Clare wasn't sure if she should've felt worried, confused, or hurt by this point. Since when did he just answer with "so"? And why was he being so cold?

"Is there something –?"

"Clare," he snapped. "I'm fine. I just have some stuff on my mind."

It was very rare that Clare ever saw Eli this way, but she usually knew why he acted such whenever he did. This time, however, she had no idea. When she called him last night and that morning he seemed perfectly normal; now he did a complete turn-around and was extremely different. And, if she had to be honest, this side of Eli scared Clare a little bit.

"Okay, I'll see you around," she said in a weak voice as she walked out of the room.

()()

"When do you think Dawes is going to wrap-up this English unit?" Adam asked of Clare as the two of them walked through the aisles of books in the school library. "Don't get me wrong, I like the works from the time period, but I'm ready to move on to something new."

"Yeah, that's interesting," Clare replied blankly as her mind roamed to thoughts of Eli. He was quiet and disgruntled the entire day. He didn't even bother to join in on Adam, Clare, and Kate's conversations at the beginning of English.

"Clare?"

"Hmm?" she answered.

"Have you been listening to a word I've been saying?"

"Oh – yeah. Yeah, of course I have," she lied.

"Really? What was I talking about?"

"Uh . . . Captain America?" she guessed.

"Wow, you are _way_ off," Adam shook his head. "What's with you?"

She looked outside the library and saw Eli sitting on one of the benches while he reread his story and attempted to write more of it.

"Do you know what's up with Eli?" Clare asked him as she pulled a book off the shelf.

"What do you mean?" Adam replied.

"Haven't you noticed he's been in a grouchy mood all day?"

Adam thought about the first half of the day and then he realized that Clare was right. He was silent all day, he didn't make his usual jokes, and he didn't seem affected when one of the football players nearly ran him into a locker in the hallway.

"He has been acting stranger than usual. Did anything happen between you two?"

"Not that I know of," Clare replied. "I tried talking to him this morning, but he wouldn't tell me what's wrong. He just avoided the issue and continued to be miserable."

"And do you know why that is Clare?" Adam asked, pretending to sound like a wise philosopher.

"No; please inform me, Master," she answered in a bored voice as they sat down at a table.

"Because," he began to explain in his normal tone, "Eli loves you, so he's not going to tell you anything that's going to make you either angry or depressed."

"So once again he's keeping me in the dark," she concluded. "It's funny; by not wanting me to feel angry and depressed he's making me feel angry and depressed."

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Adam offered.

"Please," Clare gave in.

"That was all you had to say," he said as he got up and exited the library. He walked across the hall and sat on the bench next to Eli. "Was that French test today a piece of cake or did I just study too much again?"

"It was okay," Eli mentioned as he scribbled something down in his notebook.

"What're you writing about this time? True love? Aliens? Superheroes? Superhero aliens who find true love?" he guessed.

"What do you want, Adam?" he asked with a snap, not really wanting to discuss the story right now.

"Just trying to make conversation," Adam shrugged.

Eli just shook his head and continued writing the story.

"What is your problem today? You've been acting all moody towards everyone; including Clare."

"I can be in a bad mood every once in awhile, can't I?"

"Yes, but knowing you, you have a reason behind it. So what's your deal?"

Knowing that Adam was going to leave him alone until he admitted the truth, Eli set his story to the side and looked with a stern expression plastered on his face.

"Why did you tell Kate about Julia?"

"What? You're mad at me because of _that_?"

"You told Kate about Julia! You said something to someone from my past about someone else from my past! Of course I'm going to be mad!"

"Why?" Adam demanded. "I was making conversation! Kate and I were talking and I mentioned along the line that you had an ex-girlfriend named Julia who died! I didn't say anything about you and Julia getting into that fight before she got killed, or the hoarding because of it, or the bumpy start you and Clare went through because of her! It was just normal conversation! Besides, it's not like I had to keep secret from her to protect her feelings like I did with Clare. With Clare it made sense to keep it secret, but I don't see the importance from keeping it from Kate."

Eli tried to find a loophole in Adam's argument so he could debate back to him, but he couldn't find one. He looked down at the ground and thought over what Adam just said.

"You're right; I'm sorry for biting your head off," he apologized, feeling terrible for being a jerk to his best friend.

"It's fine. But there's something more going on here. If this was just about me, I'm sure you wouldn't have been so harsh to Clare or would've talked to her about it by now. So what's really going on?"

Eli sighed and decided to tell Adam the truth.

"I'm just worried."

"About what?"

"Clare and me . . . we're not being honest with each other."

"What do you mean? You guys tell each other everything."

Eli started from when he talked to Kate about the dinner behind Clare's back and the confrontation they had afterwards. He then explained what Kate told him this morning about Clare being threatened by Julia.

". . . Now I'm just scared that this is just the beginning of us growing apart or something," he admitted. "I can't handle us keeping things hidden. And I don't even know why we just stopped telling each other stuff all of the sudden."

"Because you guys are too worried about the other," Adam began to explain. "It's one of those weird upside-down things. You guys love each other so much that you don't want to cause distress to the other, so you lie to keep the other happy. Get it?"

"I guess," Eli shrugged. "But what should we do?"

"Well, a relationship is being with someone through the good and bad. And, although you guys have had your share of bad experiences, you're gonna have some more every now and then and hiding them from each other _is_ going to make you guys grow apart. But if you guys are honest with each other and you get through the rough times together, your relationship will get stronger."

Eli stared at the ground and took these words into consideration for a few seconds before he looked at Adam again.

"You know, Adam, you're one wise kid," he grinned.

"And that's why you keep me around; you'd be lost without me," Adam smiled.  
"But Adam," he continued as he saw Clare sitting in the library. She was staring straight at the book with determination. It appeared to be that she was reading but she was just focusing on the book so much so she wouldn't look across the hall at the two males. "Can you do me a favor and not mention any of this conversation to Clare?"

"Eli, didn't I just say that keeping things from her –," Adam ranted again, but Eli cut him off before he got any deeper.

"I'll talk to her about it," he stated. "If we're gonna make this work, one of us is going to speak up about a problem at some point."

Adam stood up and nodded.

"Not exactly the way I would've phrased it, but whatever works. Okay, I won't tell Clare anything."

"Thanks."

"But dude, talk to her about it soon. She's getting worried about you."

"I will," Eli promised.

"You know, I'm gonna start charging you guys. I'd say a few dollars per piece of advice will work."

"Get lost, Torres," Eli chuckled.

"Fine, but you'll be receiving my bill in three to four business days," Adam grinned as he made his way back to the library. "See ya."

()()

Eli tried to talk to Clare every chance he got since his talk with Adam. Unfortunately, she was either avoiding him intentionally or he was always a step behind her. He was going to admit what was going on at lunch, but she wasn't there (according to Dave she was in a Jesus Club meeting), so he decided to try and catch her at afternoon study period, but he couldn't find her anywhere. His last chance to speak to her at Degrassi would be when she was at her locker before she went home. Although he wasn't exactly sure what he was going to say to her, he had a solid idea of what he had to do and he hoped that the rest would come to him.

But, once again, he missed her.

After the last bell of the day rang, he heard his Physics teacher call his name. Eli escaped the classroom once he was informed that he needed to bring his grade up in the class. He rushed to Clare's locker as fast as he could, but she wasn't visible by the time he arrived there. Hoping that she was still on campus, he ran outside and skimmed the perimeter. No luck. She was gone.

Annoyed with his Physics teacher for keeping him late therefore making him miss Clare, he slowly made his way to Morty. Not really wanting to talk to her about this over the phone, Eli decided to go compose his thoughts at the Dot over a cup of coffee before he drove to her house.

He parked the hearse in front of the café a few minutes later. He got out saw her on the other side of the window. Clare was reading a book of some sort while sipping some coffee at a table not too far from the window.

Pleased that he was finally able to talk to her (yet a bit high-strung at the same time), Eli took a breath and walked into the restaurant.

"Hi," he greeted her once she arrived at the table.

"Hey," she replied. Her facial features told him that she wasn't enthusiastic about seeing him there, but she had a shred of anticipation in her eyes.

"May I join you?"

"If you want," she permitted.

Eli took a seat while he tried to figure out the right words he could say without beating around the bush. She had to be a little annoyed with him for being the way he was today, so he decided to just come out and say it.

"Listen, I know I've been a bit of a jackass today and – oh, let's face it, I was a _huge _jackass."

"Don't worry about it," Clare told him as she closed her book.

"No, I shouldn't have been such a grouch. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she reassured him. "But, be honest with me, is there something going on?"

It was almost time to come clean and Eli knew it. The only problem was that he didn't quite know how he could say it without mentioning that Kate told him. Also, in the back of his mind, he knew that this could lead to another fight. This was going to be a tougher conversation than he originally deliberated.

Clare waited for him to speak, so he knew that he had to tell her everything that made him so rugged that day.

"Um . . . I have some things on my mind," Eli admitted. "And I'd like to talk to you about it."

"Okay," she nodded. "What's going on?"

* * *

"_I'm sick and tired of your attitude_

_I'm feeling like I don't know you"_

_~"Tell Me Why" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

I'm not really proud of my last chapter, so I hope that this one made up for it! We're getting closer the good stuff. I've been working on future chapters and thinking future chapters for a while now (like, since before the first chapter was published) so that explains why it's taken me so long to update (plus end of the year exams and me getting a head start on my summer reading projects). So, thoughts on this chapter? Review please!


	11. Let Me Go

Thanks a ton for the reviews everyone! Sorry I took so long to update. School is almost done for me, so once I'm done with my summer reading projects, I'll be free for two and a half months! Yippee! Can't wait to sit under the sun, listen to Black Veil Brides (new album coming out soon! I'm stoked!), write (shocker. lol), and relax! If I don't get any blocks I'll probably be able to update more frequently since I have extra time! Shutting up now; here's Chapter Eleven! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own Degrassi . . . wait . . . oh no I don't . . . crap!

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Chapter Eleven

Let Me Go

Eli wanted to explain his feelings to Clare, but he also didn't want to put Kate in the middle. He had to choose his words carefully as he attempted to think about what he could possibly say. He didn't want to start another dispute between them yet at the same time he needed to get his point across.

"I've been thinking about some things today and I think we need to talk."

Clare felt her breath get caught in her throat. Eli had just spoken the four most dread words in a relationship . . . "we need to talk". He spoke these words with vigor determination and it worried her.

"O-Okay," she nodded, hoping that he wasn't going to say something that would shatter her heart.

"Is everything alright with you?"

She wasn't expecting that sentence. She thought that he'd say something negative about their relationship or that he'd tell her why he was so miserable that day. She didn't anticipate him asking about her feelings at all.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she assured.

"Are you sure? You haven't been feeling sad, apprehensive or anything lately?"

"Eli, I'm sure. I've been the same as I've always been. Why?"

He looked at his hands as he tried to reorganize his thoughts. He got the ball rolling on the topic he wished to discuss, but he wasn't sure how he could keep it going without being forward about it. He wanted this to be over as soon as possible, but that wasn't going to happen if he didn't get to the point soon.

Having no idea how to put it any other way, Eli looked Clare straight in the eye and told her the truth.

"We haven't been completely honest with each other."

"If this is about what happened before the dinner –."

"It's not just that," he interrupted. "I think that there are a few problems that both of us are having and we are not talking about them. And I'm worried that it's eventually going to put a strain on our relationship and we'll lose the trust we have in each other then grow apart."

"So, basically, you're saying that we're not honest to each other and you're worried we'll break-up because of it?" Clare summarized.

"Basically," Eli nodded.

Clare shook her head. He hid that one thing from her last week now he thinks their relationship was reaching its Judgment Day. She felt a bit sorry for him because he felt that way, but at the same time she thought he was overreacting.

"We _are_ honest with each other. You just hid one thing from me and that was a misunderstanding."

"I mean we share certain things with each other but we always keep things from the other so we don't worry the other person. But every time we do that, someone ends up getting hurt. For instance, the hoarding, me not telling you about Julia, and me going to Kate last week instead of you; I should've told you upfront about all of it."

"In your defense, we weren't together when the Julia thing happened and I understand why you didn't tell me about the hoarding," she told him.

"That's a relief," he admitted. "But, I promise, I won't hide anything from you anymore if it affects the two of us."

"Me too," she agreed. "So is that what you were so strange all day?"

"Kind of . . . there's something else."

"Alright," Clare said, ready to hear what else he had to say. She was now confident that he wasn't on telling her anything about breaking-up, so she waited for him to speak again.

Since Kate slipped the information about Clare being intimidated by Julia, Eli thought of reasons behind it. He didn't understand why Clare would need to feel that way and that was a reason he felt that he and her needed to talk. However, another worry came entered his mind as he went through his day. He didn't want her to think that she had to be like Julia or that she had to be something she wasn't to make him happy. He was content with the way she was; in fact he was beyond content. In his opinion, Clare was perfect in everyway. He wanted her to know this just as much as he wanted to know why she felt so impended by his deceased ex-girlfriend.

After finally deciding on a way to bring up his problem, Eli looked at Clare and began to speak.

"You know I love you Clare."

"What else can I think after you've said it everyday for almost a month? And I love you too."

"I want to be with you and no one else."

He reached across the table and took her hand.

"I love you just the way you are and I don't want you to change to please anyone."

"I won't change," she replied. Even thought he was being really altruistic, she was a bit uneasy about the vibe he was giving off.

"And nothing from the past is going to affect the way I feel about you."

"Eli, you're acting really bizarre now. What's going on?"

It was now or never. He took the plunge.

"I don't have anymore feelings for Julia," he told her bluntly.

"Julia? What does this have to do with Julia?" Clare demanded, clearly taken aback as she pulled her hand out of Eli's.

"She's dead, she's gone," Eli pressed on. "All I have of her are my memories, nothing more. I have _no_ feelings for her whatsoever."

Clare was bewildered by this point. How did a conversation about them being more honest with each other turn into talking about Julia? And what did his feelings for her – or lack thereof – have to do with anything right now?

"She's in the past just like how K.C is in the past. Nothing is going –."

"Eli, why are you telling me this?"

"I don't want you thinking that I love Julia. I love _you_. You don't have any reason to feel like you have to be like her to make me happy or that you have to feel threatened by her or anything."

"_Threatened_ by her? I-I'm not threatened by her! Why do you even think that?" She tried to say this is a strong, dauntless voice, but Eli could tell that she wasn't telling the truth by the abrupt defending she was doing.

"I know you Clare. I can tell when you're upset about something," he said, protecting Kate.

"Well, I-I guess you were wrong; because I'm not threatened. And why should I be?" she asked, her voice starting to rise.

"You tell me."

"I'm _not_ threatened by her," Clare argued.

"You're lying."

Clare shook her head. He wasn't going to give-up. She tried to keep tears inside her, but she knew she wouldn't be able to hold them in much longer. She needed to get away, but she knew Eli wanted, and needed, an answer before she escaped.

"I'm . . . okay, fine!" she surrendered. "You're right!"

Eli tried to act surprised, but he wasn't sure whether or not it was convincing enough. To cover up his mask, he conveyed his true emotions into words.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Not wanting to discuss the subject anymore, Clare stood from her chair and left the Dot. She felt the tears sting her eyes as she attempted to unlock her bike chain, which was parked a nearby rack, with the correct combination. Unfortunately she was so distraught that her fingers trembled and she was unable to hold on to the lock long enough to dial it.

Fuming, she yanked at the chain and ignored all the bemused looks people wore when they passed her. Surrendering her battle to get her bike unhitched, she just remained where she was and let the tears roll down her face.

Clare didn't know how long she cried, but she took a sharp breath when she felt a pair of hands gently cup her upper arms. She turned her head but quickly turned it away when she saw Eli standing behind her. She tried to clear her face of the tears but more just kept coming.

"Clare, this is what I was talking about," he whispered to her. "We need to talk about this."

"It's fine," she choked. The last thing she wanted to do was have this conversation.

"No, it's not," Eli denied. "Not when it's bothering you _this_ much."

Clare stood up and turned to Eli, who pulled her into a hug. It astonished her that he knew exactly what she needed when she didn't know it herself.

"Talk to me Clare. Please."

Clare took in a shuddering breath and pulled out of the embrace. No more tears fell, but she still had a pain in her heart.

"Okay," she nodded. "But not here."

"Fair enough," Eli agreed as he took her hand.

They went to Morty and climbed into the front seats. Clare sat in the passenger seat and Eli sat by her side. She bit her bottom lip as she tried to figure out how she could describe her fears to him. He was waiting for her to speak and she was trying to find the words to say, so it was quiet for a while.

"She was beautiful," Clare spoke at last. "I saw a few of her pictures when we cleaned out your room."

Eli then remembered the pictures he kept of Julia before he decided to put them away in his attic. There were pictures of him and her at school dances, at school with some their friends, and some, unfortunately for Clare, when their lips were glued together.

"You guys looked happy."

"I'm happier with you," Eli told her honestly.

"I just mean that . . . you guys were together for six months and you looked so happy. We've been together nearly ten months and I haven't seen you look that happy. I'm just scared that I can never make you that happy."

"She was my first real girlfriend," he admitted. "Julia and I known each other since Junior High and when we were fifteen we decided to try going out. But I was a loner for the most part and I didn't even know that she knew I existed; so when she came up to me and asked if we wanted to go out sometime, I was so happy that someone actually said those words to me and meant it. Do you know what I mean?"

Clare nodded.

"I felt the same way when K.C and I first started going out."

"But, Clare, I am happy with you," Eli promised her. "I've never been happier than when I am with you. I was just overwhelmed in shock for the most part when I was with her."

Clare saw in his eyes that he meant these words, so she knew he deserved to hear the other half of her worries.

"It's not just that I'm intimidated by her . . . I'm also a bit jealous."

"Why would you be jealous?"

Clare took a deep breath and looked at her knees.

"A few weeks after I found out about Julia, I heard you tell Adam that she was your first love and . . . I don't know something just snapped inside me. Once you and I started going out I put it in the back of my mind and I was fine for a while. Then I found out you used to be _with _her and the jealousy just appeared again. I try not to let it bother me, but it does sometimes.

"Other than you and K.C I never had a boyfriend and I only really loved you. I'm just scared that one day you'll want Julia back and you'll feel like you'll just have to settle for me because she's gone. And, I try not to, but sometimes I wonder . . . I wonder . . . I'm sorry," she stammered. She couldn't find the right words to describe her feelings anymore without sounding completely heartless. She felt the tears start rolling down her face again.

Eli scooted over in the seat so he was right by her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and tried to help her wipe away to the trails the tears left behind on her face.

"It's okay," he whispered. "You can tell me."

After taking in a few breaths to get composed, Clare continued to tell Eli her true fears.

"I wonder about if she was still alive and you still ended up meeting me, would we end up being together or would you and Julia be together and she ended up being 'the one for you'."

Eli had no idea whatsoever that Clare felt this upset when it came to Julia. He thanked Kate back of his mind for telling him how Clare felt because she deserved for this pain to be healed. It was time he told her about what Julia and he really went through . . . and it wasn't the love story she thought it was.

"Julia and I had a few problems," he admitted.

"Eli, you don't –," she began to protest; he didn't have to tell the depths of their relationship because it wasn't anyone's business except his and Julia's. But he continued anyway.

"We wanted different things and we knew that we weren't going to last forever. We agreed that after graduation we would go do what we wanted and if fate brought us back together, we'd probably try being together again. We were close at times, but other times we couldn't stand being around each other.

"When I was with Julia, it was . . . our relationship was more on-and-off. We'd be together for a while, then we'd get into a fight and break-up, then we'd get back together again. It was a rollercoaster. Unless we just got back together or something good was going on, I was either heartbroken because we broke-up or I was counting down the time until we had our next big fight."

Clare heard his words and tried not to cry again. He was being open with her about his last relationship even though he knew he didn't have to. By admitting all of this to her, she knew he was being truthful.

"I can't tell you what would've happened if she didn't die," Eli told her. "But, if I could, I would go back in time and meet you, get to know you, and fall in love with you all over again. I'm truly happy with you, Clare. I thought I loved Julia, but I didn't even know what love felt like until I met you. And even if I did feel some love for Julia, the love I have you is a million times stronger. I never told Julia she was the one. I didn't feel it. The young, naïve, adrenaline love I had for Julia doesn't even compare to the true love I feel for you. I love you, Clare Edwards. I love you more than anything. And I know that what we have is special and that it's right."

Clare felt more tears in her eyes, but instead of tears of pain they were tears of relief and reassurance. She wiped them away and turned to Eli.

"You didn't have to say all that."

"I know. I wanted to," Eli said to her. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, thanks," she nodded. "I'm glad we talked about this."

"Me too," he agreed.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you how I felt about her in the first place."

"I understand why you didn't."

"I just love you so much," she confessed. "I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me, I promise," he vowed to her. "And if anything like this starts to bother you again, you can talk to me and I'll be there for you. Okay?"

"Alright," Clare accepted.

Eli pulled her into another comforting embrace.

"I'm not going anywhere. Don't worry," he whispered to her as he heard her let out a final sob.

"I won't."

* * *

"_One more kiss could be the best thing,_

_But one more lie could be the worst._

_And all these thoughts are never resting,_

_And you're not something I deserve"_

_~ "Let Me Go" by 3 Doors Down_

* * *

Yeah, that's it. May is going to be a busy month for me, so I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but I promise it'll be up before June. Please express your thoughts on this chapter by clicking the review button below this Author's Note. Have a nice day, or night, or afternoon.


	12. Save You

I had a rough day of school the day I published the last chapter, but I got home and your reviews made my day! I really appreciate everyone who keeps coming back to read this story and takes the time to review it! Thanks you guys! School has been driving me INSANE (and the end of the year is supposed to be fun . . . EPIC FAIL!) and I can't wait until summer vacation so I can have time to write this! Thankfully I just have a few more days! Sorry it took me so long to update. Next chapter!

Disclaimer: Degrassi isn't owned by TurboWiz70. Degrassi is owned by someone other than TurboWiz70 (yeah, TurboWiz70 talked in third person. Ha-ha).

* * *

Chapter Twelve

Save You

"Someone's in a better mood," Adam pointed out the next morning; he, Eli, and Kate were sitting in the back of their Calculus class the next morning and Adam noticed how Eli wasn't gloomy like he was the day before. "Did you and Clare work everything out?"

"Yeah," Eli replied as he tried to figure out a problem for the assignment they were supposed to be doing. "We had a talk and everything got resolved."

"That's good," Adam grinned, relieved that he didn't have to be the mediator anymore. "So is Clare fine with Julia?"

"I think so," he answered.

"What do you mean you think so?"

"I mean I think she doesn't have any problems with Julia anymore."

He turned his head to look at Kate. She appeared to be concentrating on the problem she had to solve on her paper, but her eyes were unmoving. There seemed to be some sort of worry in her eye and it gave Eli an uneasy feeling.

"Are you okay, Kate?" he asked her tenderly.

She looked at Eli and shrugged.

"I'm fine; why?"

"You just seem a bit distant."

"I'm okay," she assured him. "I just have some stuff on my mind."

"Need to talk?" Eli offered.

"No thanks," Kate refused.

"Alright, but if you change your mind, I'm here," Eli promised her.

"Thanks," she grinned at him before she looked back at her work.

"Eureka!" Adam exclaimed.

"What?" Eli asked, turning back to his friend.

"I think I've finally found out why you and Clare have been at each other's throats lately."

"Why?" Kate asked as she quickly turned her head towards the boys and away from her work.

"It's something I like to call 'honeymoon hangover'," Adam explained.

"What's that?" Eli asked. Kate, however, didn't seem so interested and just continued to work on the assignment.

"Okay, you and Clare have been in the 'honeymoon' phase of your relationship for a while now, but I think you guys are getting out of that stage and, for some unknown reasons as of yet, you guys realize the other's imperfections and you guys argue. The good news is I think you guys have pretty much recovered from the 'honeymoon hangover' and you guys are ready to go up from here or remain where you are."

"You know, in some weird way that actually makes sense," Eli told him.

"Yep," Adam agreed. "And it's been proven by science."

Eli rolled his eyes at his friend's joke and finished the problem he was on.

()()

The former drama teacher retired last year, so a woman by the name of Miss Hannigan took over as Degrassi's Drama department. It was morning Study Period, thus Eli, Clare, Adam, Kate, and the rest of the Drama Club were gathering in the cafeteria for a meeting.

"So we're finally starting our first play of the year," Miss Hannigan announced. "We will be doing one of the most famous plays in history, _The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet_."

There was a murmur of excitement among the students. Kate, especially, seemed enthusiastic.

"I _love_ that play," she whispered to Clare. "It's so romantic."

"It is," she agreed.

"After school today and tomorrow, we will signing-up for understudies, stagehands, and for parts. Auditions will begin after school next Tuesday," Miss Hannigan continued. "Now if you're not going to remain focused on the production, don't bother to come if you're just going to waste time goofing around. Now, who will be interested in directing this play?"

No one was prepared to carry the responsibility of bringing Shakespeare to life, so everyone nominated Miss Hannigan to be the director. The meeting continued for the rest of the period; the only thing they did was discuss the play, but everyone already knew the storyline, so the discussions weren't very stimulating. Needless to say, everyone, including Miss Hannigan, just wanted to get this play started. By the sound of the bell, the meeting adjourned and everyone agreed to come back after school to get started on the production.

Eli waited for Clare by her locker when the final bell of the day rang. They were going to meet Kate and Adam in the Drama room, and Eli wanted to have some time with his girlfriend beforehand.

"Hey," Clare greeted as she switched out some books. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," Eli said as he took her hand.

The hall was deserted as they made their way down the hall.

"Can I tell you something?" he said out of the blue.

"Of course," she permitted. "What is it?"

"I'm still just a bit shaken from our fight yesterday."

"Why?"

"I don't know . . . it just scares me every time we get in a fight."

"It does?" she asked, suddenly worried about him.

Remembering their pact to be honest, Eli prepared to spill the beans.

"Yeah . . . since mine and Julia's last fight ended in a fatality, I'm worried that it might –."

"It might happen again?"

"Yeah," he admitted.

Clare stopped in her tracks, took both of Eli's hands, and looked him in the eye.

"That's not going to happen."

"How can you be so sure?"

Clare read the underlying ache in his eyes and wished that he didn't feel that way. What hurt more was the fact that she didn't know what could happen and that she could hardly give him comfort.

"I can't be a hundred percent sure that nothing is going to happen to me; no one can be sure what's going to happen to anyone."

"I know. It doesn't bother me except for when we fight. I'm worried that . . . that . . ." he trailed off. He looked down at the ground so Clare didn't have to see the pain that was forming into tears.

Clare let go of one of his hands and placed hers to the side of his face. Her touch made him look up at her. His tears didn't fall, but they stood still in his eyes.

"You can't always worry that I'm going to get killed because of what happened to Julia. That will just drive you crazy and that will cause us problems and we'll probably break-up. I don't want that to happen, so _please_ try not to worry about it too much."

"Okay . . . but there's another reason I get scared when we fight. I'm worried that we'll have such a big fight that we'll break-up."

Clare removed her hand from his face and took his other hand again. She had no clue that the few fights they've had recently would spark this much fear inside him.

"Every couple worries about that Eli; it's natural."

"I know, but I can't help but worry about it," he admitted. Clare was very special to him and didn't want to lose her in anyway. The idea of them breaking-up one day practically murdered him and the thought of them never being with each other again was his view of a living Hell.

"I wish there was something I can do you don't have to worry so much," Clare said soothingly.

"Can you promise me something?" Eli asked.

"Sure."

"Promise me we won't break-up because of a fight."

Clare looked down at the ground and bit her lip. She had to go back on a promise of making a promise.

"Eli, I can't promise that," she replied honestly as she looked at him again.

"Clare –."

"I can't predict the future so I can't guarantee that a fight won't end what we have. I wish I could, but I can't."

Eli looked at her for a second and actually realized what he said and how completely clingy and desperate it sounded. He was putting Clare into a corner by asking this of her and that was one of the many things he vowed he'd never do to her.

"I shouldn't have asked you to promise that."

"No, listen," Clare continued. "I want to be with you for as long as I can and I do believe you are the one for me, but it is possible for one huge fight to ruin all that no matter how much we don't want it to. I don't want us to make a promise that I don't know we can keep."

"Alright," he accepted. "I understand."

"But I do promise that we can try to work things out before we call it quits. Okay?"

He simply nodded before replying with an "Okay."

"I won't give up on us if you won't. I can promise you that much. Deal?"

"Deal," Eli accepted with a grin.

Clare gave him a peck on the lips before giving him a small smile.

"Don't worry," she told him.

"I won't," he vowed.

"Come on; we don't want Adam and Kate calling-out a search party on us," Clare said as they made their way down the hall.

()()

"Here are some scripts so you can decide if there are any parts you would like to try-out for," Miss Hannigan notified.

Kate eagerly left the table that Eli, Clare, Adam, and she were sitting at to get a copy of the script. She began flipping through it immediately with her eyes wide in excitement.

"I've never seen anyone so enthusiastic about Shakespearean literature," Eli admitted as Kate's eyes zoomed through the pages.

"Are you thinking about trying-out for a part?" Adam asked as he read some of the script over her shoulder.

"I'm considering going-out for Juliet," she told them.

"Her first Degrassi play and she's already going out for a leading role. Admirable," Eli congratulated.

"Thank you," Kate smiled.

"I thought you weren't into acting, Kate," Clare recalled.

"I'm not really . . . but I'm going to see how I do out of my comfort zone."

"You'll knock them dead," Adam told her.

"I hope so, but I have to nail the audition first."

The group went to the sign-up sheets and signed up for what they wanted to do for the play. Kate, of course, signed-up to be Juliet (and she wasn't the only name on the list, which gave her a boatload of nerves), while Eli, Adam, and Clare signed-up to be stagehands. Once they all finished signing their names, they began to make their way back to their table.

"Remember when we did that video for English last year with _Romeo and Juliet_?" Clare asked Eli as she took his hand.

"Yeah," he recalled. "Our first kiss."

"Remember how eager we were to do it?"

Eli chuckled then nodded as they sat back down at the table.

"We weren't exactly subtle."

"_We_?" she said. "_You_ decided to get _Romeo and Juliet_, and you didn't exactly hesitate to play Romeo; oh and, if I'm not forgetting, it was _your _idea to add in the kiss."

"Alright, you win," he accepted. "The only thing that I wish _didn't_ happen with that video was the drama after it."

"Eli," Clare said warningly.

"I mean, I was such a jerk."

"Eli," she repeated.

"How could I kiss you and then –?" he began to ramble.

"Elijah," she interrupted before he started feeling guilty. "It's in the past, we're together now, there's nothing to get upset about."

"You're right. Nothing to get upset about," he repeated.

Their lips were about to touch when . . .

"I swear, you guys are like the present-day Romeo and Juliet," Kate stated as she looked over her script.

"Come on Kate," Adam protested. "Romeo and Juliet weren't _nearly_ as mushy as these guys."

"You know what, you're right!" Kate agreed. "They are always lovey-dovey."

"Oh, you should've seen them when they first started going out. They were glued at the hip for the longest time."

"Still are," Clare said, placing her head on Eli's shoulder.

"I can see that," Kate said. For some reason she sounded a little bitter. "I'm going to see who's trying-out for Romeo. I'll be right back."

She stood-up and walked as quickly as she could towards the sign-up sheets; she sounded very annoyed, distressed, and just plain frustrated.

"What's with Kate?" Eli asked Adam.

"Don't know," he shrugged. "She's been like this all day."

"Guys, she's woman, ergo she can be a bit cranky. You know, it has to do with the –."

"Okay, thank you. Don't want to know anymore," Eli said.

"Boys," Clare scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to go point out the Romeos to Kate."

"Alright," Eli said as Clare left the table and walked over to Kate.

"Eli, Eli, Eli," Adam said.

"What?" he asked.

"You were _so _wrong and you are _so _blind," he stated.

"I am _so _confused. What are you talking about?"

"Wake-up man!" Adam nearly shouted. "It's obvious!"

"I'm not seeing what's obvious. I don't even know what you're talking about."

"Our _dear friend_, Katherine Parker."

"What about her?"

"Come on, do you really think I meant the whole 'honeymoon hangover' thing?"

"Adam, it's really hard for me to see the point you're trying to make if I have no clue what you're saying."

"You and Clare aren't in the honeymoon hangover stage."

"That's good . . . I guess," Eli said, still having no idea what this had to do with Kate. "Why did you tell me we were if we never went through it?"

"Actually, you and Clare went through it when the whole hoarding thing happened, but that's not the point. I'm trying to say that I _really_ do know the reason you and Clare have been fighting so much lately."

"Great," Eli groaned sarcastically. "What's the theory this time?"

"This is a solid theory," Adam protested. "And it has to do with –."

"Hi guys," Kate greeted as she arrived at the table again.

"Aliens," Adam recovered so Kate wouldn't have a clue what they were talking about. "The reason for the pyramids and the Great Wall of China is aliens."

Eli rolled his eyes and began talking to Kate about the play. Adam needed to tell Eli what he wasn't seeing, but he couldn't say it while he was with Kate or Clare, but he hardly saw him by himself. He had to tell him one way or the other, but he just needed to figure out what the one way and the other could be. Adam had to tell his friend this important piece of information soon before it was too late.

()()

Adam had already left, but Clare, Eli, and Kate were sitting on the front steps of Degrassi. Kate's car was having problems and got put in the shop, so she was waiting for her mom to come pick her up. Eli decided to wait with them so they wouldn't be alone as they waited.

"That's my ride," Clare said as she saw her dad's car coming down the road. "I'll see you guys later."

"Bye," Kate said.

"See you," Eli said before giving her a quick kiss on the lips. "Love you."

"Love you too," she said as she made her way to the car.

Eli gave her one final wave, which she returned, before she drove out of sight with Mr. Edwards. Kate was looking over the script for the hundredth time when she reached one simple conclusion . . .

"There's no way I'm going to get the part."

"Of course you will," Eli reassured. "You just need to rehearse it and get to know the character."

"I can't speak all poetic and stuff though," she argued as she put her script in her backpack. "And how am I going to memorize all these lines?"

"Practice," he answered. "I'm sure you'll get it down in no time."

"Right," she said sarcastically.

"Come on," he began to encourage her. "Remember in grade one and you were freaking out about our Christmas play? You were screaming for hours, but you practiced like crazy, and you blew everyone away."

"That was different," Kate protested. "I was a kid, no one would've cared if I messed-up because it wasn't a serious play, plus I played a Christmas elf –."

"Technically, you were Christmas Elf Number One," Eli reminded her with a smile.

"My point is that the role of Christmas Elf Number One was small and no one took it seriously, but Juliet is a title character. How am I going to live up to the expectation that role has?"

"First of all, stop wigging out about it," he told her. "That'll just make you more nervous."

Kate took a deep breath, let it out, and repeated the process a few more times until she was level-headed again.

"Okay," she sighed.

"Now repeat after me," he began. "So goodnight unto you all; give me your hands if we be friends and Robin shall restore amends."

"So goodnight unto you all; give me your hands if we be friends and Robin shall restore amends," she repeated.

"See! That was good," Eli congratulated.

"But that wasn't _Romeo and Juliet_; that was _A Midsummer Night's Dream_."

"It's a start. You know what, I'll help you practice your lines if you want," Eli offered.

"Seriously?" she asked.

"For the auditions, sure," he nodded. "None of the kissing scenes or anything though."

"Oh of course," Kate assured. "But, really, you would help me with my lines?"

"Yeah; and if you get the part and you need some practice time outside rehearsal, just let me know."

"Thanks Eli."

"Hakuna matata," he said. "When's your audition?"

"Next Tuesday."

"Alright, so we have a week to turn you into Juliet, daughter of Capulet."

"Want to come over tomorrow after Drama and help?"

"Sure, why not?" Eli agreed.

"Cool," she smiled. "And there's my mom."

The two of them got off the steps and walked down to the sidewalk.

"I appreciate it Eli."

"No problem," he said. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye," Kate said with a smile as she and Eli parted ways.

* * *

"_Sometimes I wish I could save you_

_And there's so many things that I want you to know_

_I won't give up till it's over_

_If it takes you forever, I want you to know"_

_~ "Save You" by Simple Plan_

* * *

I must say this story is coming along quite swimmingly for me. It's not even close to even being close to the closeness that exists to being halfway done! In other words, this story won't be finished for a while, so I hope you guys stick around. I'm sorry but, once again, I won't know when I'll update again for a while. Stuff is going on (blegh) so everything is foggy right now. Until we meet again people of FFN! Reviews pretty please! Please give me suggestions for improvement!


	13. Extreme

Thanks for the reviews! School is out for me, so FREEDOM . . . that is after I do summer reading. After that, FREEDOM ALL THE TIME! I see you guys are itching to find out Eli and Kate's mysterious promise. Don't worry; I'll put it in the story eventually. Next chapter! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Magic Mirror on the wall, I don't own any Degrassi at all.

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

Extreme

"You _idiot_!" Adam screeched at Eli the next morning.

"What?" Eli demanded.

The two of them were standing by Adam's locker – which he slammed shut when Eli told him that he was going to Kate's after Drama that day – before their French class.

"I can't believe . . . you are such a . . . _Eli_!"

"What did I do?"

"You and Kate are hanging-out after school and you're going to be rehearsing one of the most romantic plays of all time," Adam restated.

"I'm still waiting for your point," Eli said, getting annoyed with Adam.

"You don't see it, do you?"

"See what?"

"Eli, she likes you!" he blurted out at last. That's what he had wanted to say all week, now he finally said it. He hoped Eli would see it himself, but it was obvious that he wasn't going to, so Adam knew he had to tell him.

"What? That's insane," Eli stated.

"Is it?"

"Yes! That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Kate likes _me_? Our Kate?"

"Put the pieces together man. You guys promised each other that you'd –."

"That was _ten years ago _and we've forgotten it! How many times do I have to explain that to you?" Eli almost shouted.

"My point is that even if she _did_ forget about that, she's obviously trying to start-up something new with you."

"She's not," Eli protested. "Besides, she knows I love Clare."

"That doesn't mean anything; it is possible for someone to like someone else despite whether or not that someone else is in a relationship."

"Why would you even _think _that Kate likes me?"

"It doesn't exactly take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Okay, I've been thinking about this since you told me about you and Clare's fight on Friday. First she puts all these ideas in your head about the dinner with Clare's parents then she tells Clare without you knowing. Then she tells you about Clare's fears concerning Julia even though she knew that she was supposed to keep it secret."

"One, I never clarified that the conversation was confidential; two, she told me on accident," Eli defended.

"Okay, then answer me this," Adam continued. "Why was she so aggravated yesterday?"

"Because she's stressed about the play and –."

"Wrong! She's upset because you and Clare got everything worked out. Her plan to break you guys up was foiled!"

"Whoa, first she likes me, now she has a scheme to break-up me and Clare? Now are you going to tell me she's just being friends with Clare so she can get closer to me?"

"I haven't ruled that out as a potential plan, but I think Kate would be a bit sneakier than that," Adam said.

"Adam," Eli complained. "You are talking _crazy_!"

"I knew you wouldn't believe me," Adam groaned.

"I'm sorry, but I think you're just reading too deep into things. Clare and I are together and Kate is happy for us, ergo she doesn't like me."

"It's an _act_. And you know what, I bet Clare notices it as well."

"Actually, I talked to Clare last night and told her that I was going to Kate's tonight to help her rehearse and she didn't have a problem with it."

Adam was shocked. Surely Clare would've noticed what Kate was plotting. But, alas, she didn't and he stood alone.

"Okay, you win for now," he surrendered. "But has she flirted with you at all?"

"Oh my God, Adam, let it go! No, she hasn't flirted with me and she never will! She flirts with you, though."

"She flirts with me right in front of you to make you jealous."

"Will you stop with the damn theories?" Eli almost yelled. "Kate _doesn't_ like me! I'm her _friend_, nothing more, nothing less."

Fuming with anger at Adam, he looked at his watch. He had a few minutes until the bell rang and he wanted to see a certain person before they had to part ways until they saw each other again in English class.

"Now, whether you're done lecturing me or not, I'm going to go find Clare," he announced before he turned away from Adam. "I'll see you later."

"Just be careful Eli," Adam called to him down the hall. "I don't want to see anything happen to you guys."

Eli ignored Adam and turned the corner. He saw Clare sitting on a bench reading a book and a smile came to his lips. Just seeing her there made him feel a bit calmer and it made him feel his usual happiness. He walked towards her and sat down next to her.

"Hi," she grinned as she saw him sitting next to her.

"Hey," he replied. "So excited to start _Romeo and Juliet_?"

"Yep," she answered. "And I was wondering if you wanted to work together since we were both working behind the scenes?"

"Of course I want to," he told her. "Once I'm done helping Kate rehearse this week, I'll be there."

"Sounds like a plan. Still going to Kate's after school?"

"Yeah, and I solemnly swear to not kiss her if we rehearse any of the kissing scenes," he vowed.

"So you've told me ten times. I trust you, don't worry," she assured him as she put her book in her backpack. The whole time she did, Eli stared at her. There was something about Clare that made him feel incredible, happy, and she made him feel like there was nothing to worry about in the world.

"What?" she asked when she saw Eli staring at her.

"Nothing, I just love you . . . and I mean that."

"I know you do. And I love you."

Despite his sincere words, Clare saw that her boyfriend looked a bit frustrated about something.

"What's wrong?"

"How did you know –?"

"I know you well enough to know when something's bothering you. What happened?"

"I just had a little confrontation with Adam," he answered.

"Want to talk about it?"

"It's okay," Eli assured. "It's nothing important."

"It must be important if you're upset about it."

"Adam and I don't fight much, so when we do it kind of hits home for me. I'll be okay."

"Alright," she said. "You guys are best friends, so I'm sure you guys will work it out in no time."

Adam was his brother in a way, so he didn't want to be mad at him or remain frustrated with him. However, if he was going to continue to accuse Kate of being a sneak who just wanted to break-up him and Clare, then Eli was going to be annoyed with him. He wished that one day soon Adam would open his eyes and see that Kate was happy for Clare and Eli and that she didn't want to harm what they had in anyway. Eli knew Kate cared about Clare and him so he knew that she wouldn't do anything to them; he only wished that Adam would see that too.

"I hope you're right."

()()

"_My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late! Prodigious birth of love it is to me, that I must love a loathed enemy_," Kate quoted.

She turned to Eli, who was sitting on the sofa as she stood in front of him and performed. They were at her house after Drama that day. They were able to go over lines a bit at Degrassi, but they decided to still go back to Kate's.

"That sucked, didn't it?" she assumed.

"No," Eli reassured. "It was fine, but put in a bit more emotion."

"Okay," she agreed. "_My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late! Prodigious birth of love it is to me, that I must love a loathed enemy_. How was that?"

"Better," he answered.

"What can I work on to make it really good?"

"Well, put yourself in Juliet's shoes. You're in love with someone you know you shouldn't love. You can't love him because they are apart of your enemy, but you can't help but love him anyway. Just put yourself in that position."

"I think I can do that," Kate replied with a smile.

"Go for it," Eli encouraged.

Kate cleared her throat and began to speak.

"_My only love sprung from my only hate . . . Too early seen unknown, and known too late! Prodigious birth of love it is to me, that I must love a loathed enemy_."

Eli smiled; Kate spoke these words, but she wasn't Kate . . . she was Juliet. He stood-up and applauded her.

"Great," he congratulated.

"Really?" she smiled.

"Yes! Just keep that up and that role is yours."

"Wow," she grinned. "What should we practice now?"

"How about . . . ?" he began as he flipped through the script, ". . . the scene when finds Romeo dead?"

"Okay," Kate agreed. "So I just have to imagine that the person I love is dead."

"Depressing, but yeah," Eli nodded.

Kate read the part a few times until she handed the script back to Eli.

"Here it goes . . . _What's here? A cup closed in my true love's hand. Poison, I see . . . I see . . ._"

"_Hath been his timeless end_," Eli told her.

"_Poison, I see hath been his timeless end. O churl; drink all, and leave no friendly drop to help me after? I will kiss thy lips . . . _something_, _something_, _something_ . . ."_

Eli couldn't help but laugh at her forgetfulness.

"You know, it's very hard for me to do a sad scene when you're laughing at me."

"I know, sorry," Eli apologized. "I just hope you don't do that on stage in front of a hundred people."

"You are the _worst_ motivational speaker _ever_," Kate declared with a small chuckle.

"Words hurt you know," he told her with a smirk.

"Just tell me the line," she said while she rolled her eyes with a laugh.

"Yes sir," Eli saluted. "_Haply some poison yet doth hang on them . . ._"

"_Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to make me die with a restorative_," she concluded.

"Okay, that's not bad," he told her.

"But . . .?" she waited.

"Want to run through it again?"

"Definitely," she replied.

They ran through that part of the script three more times until they were both satisfied. After the fourth time, Kate had the lines memorized, the emotion was perfect, and she was able to bring Juliet to life once again.

After an hour or so of more rehearsing of various scenes (which included Juliet talking with Friar Lawrence and the Nurse), Kate had improved, but she was still beating herself help about forgetting her lines and not getting the emotions spot-on. Eli thought she was doing fine for the first day of rehearsal, but she definitely didn't see it that way.

They were, once again, practicing the scene when Juliet finds Romeo dead. Kate got into character and began to act.

"_What's here? A cup closed in my true love's hand. Poison, I see hath been his timely end –_."

"Timeless," he corrected. "_I see hath been his timeless end._"

"Timeless," she said, frustrated with herself. "'Timely end' . . . how the hell did I think of _that_?"

"It's okay," he told her. "You still have a week until the auditions."

"I'm screwed!" Kate declared, collapsing on the couch next to Eli.

"No you're not," he reassured her. "You're going to do fine."

"'Fine' is not going to cut it! I need to be brilliant if I'm going to get this role!"

"We've only been rehearsing for a few hours," he reminded her. "By the time you go in for the audition, you'll be ready. Your performance is going to be dazzling and you'll land the role."

Kate took a breath and turned to Eli.

"I hope you're right," she said. "I'm sorry; it's just been a very long day."

"It's okay," he assured her. "Maybe we should wrap it up for today."

"Wait," she protested. "Can we get this scene down?"

"Why not?" he shrugged.

Kate stood-up, inhaled, exhaled, and began her speech.

"_What's here? A cup closed in my true love's hand. Poison, I see hath been his timeless end. O churl; drink all, and leave no friendly drop to help me after? I will kiss thy lips. Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to make me die with a restorative._"

"Alright," Eli told her. "That was word-for-word and the emotion was perfect."

"Really; you think so?" she asked.

"Kate, have I ever steered you wrong?"

"Well . . ." Kate began, remembering some of the things they gotten themselves into as kids.

"_Recently_," Eli quickly added. "Have I ever steered you wrong _recently_?"

"No," she smiled.

Eli grinned a little before he checked the time and saw that it was nearly six.

"Well, this was cool, but I should get going."

"Okay," she accepted as he picked-up his backpack. "Thanks a lot Eli . . . you know for helping me and everything."

"Anytime," he promised. "You're doing a very good job."

"Thanks," she smiled as they walked toward the door. "Hopefully I'll keep improving instead of going backwards."

"Hey, you will get that part if you perform at your audition like you did here today," he encouraged her.

This blessing brought an even wider smile to Kate's face. Without warning, she threw her arms around him and gave him a huge hug, which he reciprocated. After a moment or two in each other's arms, they pulled out and smiled at each other.

"So does that offer still stand for you helping me with lines?" Kate asked hopefully.

"It sure does," he promised her. "Anytime you need me, I'm here."

"What about tomorrow after school?"

"Alright," Eli accepted as he opened the door. "I'll see you."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kate replied. "Oh, I mean . . . _Goodnight, goodnight, parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow._"

"That's what I'm talking about," Eli smiled as he walked out of the Parker house and towards Morty.

* * *

"_Locked to the ground with attitude for days_

_Rock to the sound to any song you play_

_Shocking the crowd, smile on your face_

_I just can't understand it, no"_

_~"Extreme" by Valora_

* * *

FYI, this is ultimately going to be a ROMANCE fanfic, not a love triangle fic, so eventually the third vertex that is a certain character (I'm saying who, but it's either going to be Clare or Kate) is going to be eliminated. Keep reading please and, from this point on, I'll try not to give away anymore of what's going to happen in this story. Now, just out of curiosity, whose side are you on: Adam's, Eli's, or are you in the middle. Chapter Fourteen is in the works, so it should be up in a week or so (it depends when I get my summer project done). REVIEWS PLEASE! Let me know if you have any suggestions for improvement in my writing!

BTW: I don't own Shakespeare or any of the songs I use as chapters.


	14. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

Sorry that it took me forever to update! I wanted to finish my summer projects before I did anymore fanfiction. Proceeding . . .

Thank for the reviews everyone! I love hearing your opinions. It seems all of you thus far want Clare to stay and Kate to go. Like I've said before, I've already made up my mind about Kate's role in the story, but you'll have to continue reading to see what that role is.

I saw the Degrassi teaser and it seems to be a possibility that our beloved EClare will find other people . . . and I say SCREW THAT! I'm sticking by EClare forever and I'm gonna continue supporting that couple no matter what! Anyway; read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't owneth Degrassi, Shakespeare, etc.

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

Life progressed for the next few days at Degrassi. Adam continued to stand by his beliefs about Kate and Eli continued to avoid them. Clare and Eli weren't able to spend much time together since he went over to Kate's everyday after school to help her prepare for the audition, but they talked on the phone for hours every night. Kate's acting was improving day-by-day; she memorized most of her lines in the play on her own time, but she still needed work on expressing the emotions that came with them. Eli was able to help for a few hours each day and she was making amazing progress because of his gentle criticisms. However they have yet to practice any scenes when Juliet was with Romeo.

It was now Saturday afternoon and Eli was about to go to Kate's house for more rehearsing. He was walking to Morty when his cell phone started to ring; he looked at the caller ID and smiled at Clare's name.

"Hi," he greeted.

"Hi," she replied. "Sorry I couldn't talk for long last night; my dad said I've been on the phone too much this past week."

"It's cool," Eli assured. "So what's up?"  
"I was just wondering if you were busy today; if you weren't maybe we could catch a movie or something?"

Eli sighed regrettably as he climbed into the hearse.

"I would love to any other time, but I'm helping Kate with her audition," he told her.

"Oh okay," Clare said, trying not to sound crestfallen.

"How about tomorrow?"

"I have a church thing all day," she stated.

"Um . . . I'm sure Kate won't mind you coming over with me," he suggested.

"No, I don't want to intrude or anything; besides I haven't seen Alli in a while so I'll just go see her or something."

"Alright, but I promise we'll do something together soon," he vowed.

"Sounds good," she consented. "I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Bye," he said before she hung-up.

Feeling a bit guilty that he was leaving Clare alone, he drove to Kate's. He knew Clare understood and that she claimed to be fine with it, but he still felt bad for not accepting her offer. Even though he saw her yesterday, Eli missed Clare and the fact that he was leaving her like he was just made him miss her even more. The two of them needed to spend time together soon so neither of them felt that longing for much longer.

After ten minutes of driving, he made it to Kate's home.

"Hi," Kate greeted as she opened the door for Eli.

"Hey," he replied as they walked into the living room. "Ready to get started?"

"Yeah. Is everything alright?" she asked. To her it seemed that Eli looked a bit down.

"I'm fine," he reassured her.

"Eli, what's up?" she restated again.

Eli sighed and the two of them sat on the couch.

"Clare called and asked if we could do something today but I told her I couldn't."

"Is she upset?"

"No she's fine, but I feel bad that I've barely spent time with her this week."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize how much time I was taking up. If I knew that I was taking your time away from her then I wouldn't have asked you to come over so many times."

"It's not your fault," Eli said. "Remember, I offered to help you here."

"I know, but I don't want you and Clare to grow apart because of me."

"Ha, like that's gonna happen," he smiled.

"Right, what was I thinking," Kate chuckled. "It's you and Clare we're talking about."

"Exactly," he nodded as he picked-up the script and began flicking through it. "So what do you want to work on today?"

"Well, Miss Hannigan said I can choose any scene I want to perform for my audition, and I've already decided what I'm going to do and I just need your help with it."

"Okay," he accepted. "What are you thinking of doing?"

"Her first soliloquy during the balcony scene."

"Sounds good," Eli approved. "Let's get to it."

Kate stood in front of the couch as though she was about to perform for an audience.

"I haven't rehearsed this one much, so I'll need your guidance."

"Alright," he nodded. "And . . . action!"

"'_Tis but thy name that is my enemy_," Kate recited. "_Thou art thyself though, not a Montague _. . . how is it so far?"

"Not bad; keep going," Eli instructed as he glimpsed at Kate and the script.

"_What's Capulet_ –?"

"_Montague_," he corrected.

"Right," she nodded. "_What's Montague? It's nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man._"

She paused after the sentence and tried to recall the rest of the speech.

"Okay . . . I don't remember what comes after that," Kate admitted.

"_O, be some other name! What's in a name?_" Eli read from the script.

"_O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; so Romeo . . . Romeo . . . where for art thou Romeo_?"

She couldn't remember the end, so she replaced the ending with a popular line.

Eli and her couldn't help but chuckle at the less than subtle way to continue the soliloquy.

"Okay, this isn't working," she concluded.

"You're trying to remember too much at once; just take it one line at a time," he advised.

"One line at a time," she repeated.

"Just try and memorize the first line."

For the next half-hour or so, they did as Eli instructed. She repeated every line one at a time until she knew each of them by heart. After they tackled the words, they worked on the emotions. There were mess-ups, mistakes, moments of perfection, and parts that just had to be polished until they were faultless.

In the end, the constant repetition paid off and Kate repeated the speech from the beginning with full determination to get it immaculate.

"'_Tis but thy name that is my enemy; thou art thyself though, not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; so Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd retain the dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name; and for that name, which is no part of thee, take all myself_."

Kate crossed her fingers behind her back as she turned around to see Eli's reaction. He was sitting there with a small grin on his face that soon broke into a wide smile. He got off the couch and applauded.

"Bravo!" Eli congratulated. "Perfect!"

"It was good?"

"Fantastic! Shakespeare would be proud," he told as he let his now sore hands fall to his sides. "Do exactly what you just did and you're going to kick butt at that audition on Tuesday."

"I hope so," she said. "I really want to get this role."

"I'm sure you'll get it; you've worked hard for it."

"Well, whether or not I get the part, thanks for helping me with the lines."

"It's not a problem."

"Want to go over it again?"

"Go for it! And . . . action!" he repeated as he sat down again.

Kate repeated the lines over and over for fifteen minutes. Every word that came out of her mouth was correct, the sentences flowed together perfectly, and the correct mood and tone was presented as she spoke.

After the quarter hour of rehearsing, Eli and Kate both decided that they should leave the rest of the audition to Miss Hannigan, the other students, and fate.

"You know Eli, rehearsing with you is fun," she told him as she sat next to him.

"Really?"

"Yeah; I don't know why, but for some reason the pressure seems to be off," she confessed.

"What can I say, I have that affect on people," he kidded.

Kate giggled and rolled her eyes.

"And I'm sorry that you couldn't spend time with Clare. But since we're done with the audition piece, maybe you can go see her," Kate suggested.

"She told me she was going to go be with her friend, Alli."

"Oh . . . well, do you want to hang-out here for a bit?" Kate offered. "We can rehearse more if you like?"

"Sure," Eli accepted.

"Alright . . . there's one more thing I like to rehearse."

"Which is what?" Eli inquired.

"Okay, we've only done scenes when Juliet is talking to herself or talking to someone else for a while. I'm thinking we should do a scene or two in which she's talking to Romeo."

"Alright then," he nodded. "What scene should we do?"

"Hmm . . . the scene they first meet?"

"We can do that. I'm guessing I'll be Romeo."

"It may be a helpful possibility," Kate grinned.

They both stood-up from the couch and faced each other as they prepared to this scene.

"Okay . . . here it goes."

Eli looked down at the script and began from when Romeo first lays eyes on Juliet. He read aloud and she responded; they went back and forth until these lines were upon them . . .

"_O then dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to._"

"_Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake_," Kate said without the script; this was one of the scenes she knew by heart.

"_Then move not while my prayer's effect. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purg'd._"

Eli looked up from the script to face Kate. They stared at each other for a second when they begin to move their faces closer to the other's. Their minds were blank as their lips inched closer together. There was only a centimeter between Eli's lips and Kate's when his brain turned on again.

"Then they kiss," Eli said sharply as he leaned away from Kate.

"Yeah . . . they kiss," she said. Someone who didn't know Kate would've said she sounded disheartened, but Eli knew she was just embarrassed. "I'm sorry; I just caught-up in the moment."

"I know, so did I" he agreed. "See, you can be Juliet."

"I guess so."

They both looked away for a second. The silence became awkward. Eli felt more guilt than ever. He nearly kissed one of his best friends while he was with the greatest girl in the world. He turned her down this morning, now he nearly did _this_. He couldn't believe himself.

"Maybe that's enough rehearsing," Kate recommended.

"Probably," he agreed. "I really should be going; you know, stuff to do."

"Alright," she said as he stood-up. "Eli, about what just happened, I –."

"Don't worry about it," he pushed to the side.

"It's just –."

"It's fine."

"Can we not repeat –?" Kate requested.

"Not a word," he promised.

"Thanks; I don't want Clare after me with a torch and a pitchfork," she said with a serious tone but yet with a grin.

"Me neither. So I'll see you on Monday?"

"Yeah," she agreed as she watched him rush out of the house.

His head was spinning as he rushed to Morty. He felt guilt streaming through body and he wanted to scream at himself. But he was relieved that they both stopped what they did before anything else happened, that they both knew it was a mistake, and that they both promised not to tell anyone.

* * *

"_Stop right there_

_That's exactly where I lost it._

_See that line?_

_Well I never should've crossed it."_

~"_Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" by Relient K_

* * *

Juicy chapter, eh? I can't wait to post the next chapter, but I _really _want to post the chapter after that soon (everything starts to get interesting for real then). I've mentioned before that this story is going to be lengthy. I'm not sure how long it's going to be, but I hope that you guys stick around and keep reading it no matter how long it gets. Once again, I don't know when the next update will be, but it should be in a few days. Reviews please! Have a good summer everyone!


	15. Emergency

50 REVIEWS! I thank you all amazing people for all the feedback you've submitted! I seriously can't begin to thank you guys enough for reading and reviewing! Since I'm now free for two months, I'll probably spend the majority of my time working on this story, so there should be more constant updates (that is if I don't get writer's block). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or ToonTown (that belongs to the Toons).

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

Emergency

Clare overslept on the first Monday of October and ended up getting to Degrassi later than usual. She saw Eli as she walked by his homeroom and smiled at him. He returned the smile, but they haven't seen each other since then.

She was walking out of her French class a few hours later and began to make her way to English. Suddenly she felt someone grab her arm and pull her to the side. Her lips soon collided with Eli's.

They separated and they smiled at each other.

"I've been wanting to do that all weekend," he admitted.

Clare grinned and took his hand as they walked down the hall.

"How was your day with Alli?" he asked.

"It was nice," she replied. "We did some girl stuff, went by the Dot, talked about various things."  
"That's good," Eli said. "Sorry again about bailing on you."

"It's alright," she assured him. "How did the rehearsing go?"

"Not bad," he answered. He felt the guilt pumping through him again as he recalled that Saturday afternoon. He swallowed a lump in his throat as the two of them proceeded to English.

"How do you think Kate's going to do at the audition tomorrow?"  
"She'll be fine," Eli said as he brain raced to find a new topic of discussion. If they kept talking about Saturday, he knew he would reveal what almost happened between him and Kate and he couldn't do that. "But once she gets the role, you, me, and Adam will be reporting for set-design duty."

"Three Musketeers back together again," Clare said with a kidding smile.

They entered the English class and walked to the back.

"Hey guys," Kate greeted.

"Hi," Clare replied.

Eli merely smiled and took his seat beside Kate and in front of Clare. They were still both kind of embarrassed about Saturday, so they avoided eye-contact for the most part and they haven't spoken since their last rehearsal.

He hoped that this would blow-over soon. He hated not talking to his longest friend and keeping something from his girlfriend was just horrible. He knew he was overreacting about the almost kiss. Kate and him were just getting to preoccupied with the roles and they understood that it was the characters that almost kissed. He didn't want his lips to touch anyone else's but Clare's and he was going to keep it that way.

Eli tried to convince himself that everything was fine, but pangs of guilt continued to exist in his heart.

Clare noticed the way Eli distanced himself from not only Kate, but Adam as well. He told her about his and Adam's fight last week, but she thought they'd be fine by now. Either way, the way he was distancing himself from two of his best friends was scaring her and she needed to find out what was wrong so everyone could be close again.

Morning study period came and Clare took this opportunity to ask Eli a few questions. The four left the classroom and Adam went to Science Club and Kate went to the library. Clare took Eli's hand and they walked down the hall.

"Can I ask you a question?" she asked bluntly as they stopped at Eli's locker.

"Sure," he nodded.

"Why are you distancing yourself from everyone except me?"

"What?" he asked her, slightly taken aback.

"I mean you didn't talk to Kate or Adam when we got to English; usually we can't shut-up, but none of us said anything."

_She noticed! Nice going, Eli_, he scolded himself in his mind. He should've known that Clare would've eventually realized that something wasn't right.

"Did something happen with you and Kate over the weekend?"

"No," he said, although he was cautious enough to not answer too quickly so suspicion wouldn't be perceived.

"What about and Adam?"

"What about us?"

"Since you told me about that dispute you guys had last week, you two haven't really talked to each other at all."

Eli bit his tongue so he wouldn't say anything offensive about Adam in front of Clare. Although he didn't say anything to Eli about it for a week, Adam still had his suspicions about Kate. He barely talked to her and he tried to be by Eli's side whenever she was close to him. Unfortunately, the auditions at her house prevented him from keeping an eye on her.

Eli understood from the beginning that he couldn't tell Adam about his and Kate's near kiss experience at her house on Saturday; if he did, Adam would just jump to wild conclusions then would either tell Clare or get on Kate's case about it. Kate and him didn't speak of it since they both agreed to keep it quiet. He knew he told Clare that he'd be honest with her, but this was something Kate wanted to keep secret and he was going to respect that.

"It's complicated," he told Clare at last.

"Want to talk?"

Eli closed his locker and turned to her. His moved a strand of hair behind her ear and gave her a small grin.

"Is that a yes or no?" Clare asked.

He shook his head as he slid his hand, which was still by her ear, from her shoulder, down her arm, and he took her hand when he finally reached it.

"Adam and I will be fine. I'll work it out with him somehow."

"That's good; but you can come talk to me if you change your mind," she offered.

"Thanks Clare," he said.

"It's no problem. I just hate seeing you guys like this."

"So do I. I'll talk to him," he promised.

He decided that was tired of Adam and his silent feud. He was still annoyed about it last week's quarrel, he'll admit, but he didn't want it to continue any longer. He knew Adam would have his opinion on Kate, but just because he disagreed didn't mean their friendship had to suffer because of it. Eli felt he knew the truth and that was all that was what mattered.

"In fact," he said to Clare as he let go of her hand. "I'll go talk to him right now."

He made his way down the hall and turned to the room where the Science Club meeting was being held. He waited out there a few minutes when all the members filed out. Adam was one of the last ones to emerge from the class.

"Hey," Eli greeted as the two of them set off down the hall.

"What's up?" he asked, avoiding Eli's eye.

"Still pissed?"  
"No, I just standby the fact that you're a numbskull."

"Think of me what you will, but I don't want us to have a Cold War."

"Okay," Adam accepted. "But, I beg of you Eli, _please _watch your back around Kate."

The near kiss from the weekend came back to Eli. For a reason he couldn't explain, he felt angry with himself. He stood by the fact that what almost happened Saturday was an accident and that it didn't mean anything about Kate having feelings for him. However, he did have feeling that Adam was giving him some sort of warning and he knew he should accept it so this sort of experience wouldn't occur again.

"I will," he accepted.

()()

Clare was glad that her boyfriend and one of her best friends were getting everything worked out. Now she had to place the make the next move. It was time to resolve the complications with Kate.

She walked straight to the library immediately after she got done talking to Eli. She found Kate walking through the aisles of books.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey Clare," Kate replied with a small grin.

"Ready for the audition tomorrow?"

"I guess," she shrugged. "I'm freaking out though."

"Well, Eli said you did a great job rehearsing this weekend. I'm sure you'll get it."

"Thanks."

"Speaking of Eli, what's going on with you two?"

"N-Nothing," Kate stammered. "W-Why do you ask?"

"I just noticed that you guys were keeping your distance from each other."

"Really? I don't know what's going on. But he was kind of like that on Saturday after –."

Kate was about to say "the kiss we almost had", but then she remembered who she was talking to. She couldn't tell Clare the truth; if she did, everything would end in disaster. She scanned her brain to think of something before Clare became suspicious.

"After . . .?" Clare questioned.

"After . . . after he turned you down for that date because he promised to rehearse with me," Kate recovered.

"He's still upset about that?"

"I'm guessing," she shrugged.

"I told him it was fine Saturday, I told him the same thing when he called me last night, and again this morning," Clare admitted to Kate. "I don't get why he feels so bad about it."

"It's Eli and he loves you, ergo he's going to beat himself up about it."

"You're probably right. Thanks Kate."

"No problem, girly," Kate replied as Clare left the library.

()()

Eli and Adam spent the rest of study period hanging-out and catching-up. Nothing new was going on with them, so they just discussed music, comics, the works. Eli neglected to tell Adam about Saturday, but other than that, everything was normal between them again.

Lunch came before long and the two of them and Clare sat at their usual table.

"Where's Kate?" Clare asked, noticing a member of their group was absent.

"She said she needed to study or something," Adam answered.

Clare knew that Kate was intentionally avoiding Eli. What she couldn't understand was why. It was no big deal that Eli and her rehearsed; she didn't feel omitted or anything of the sort. Clare was absolutely fine with it and she was the slightest bit upset. Why were they so concerned about this?

"I'm getting extra," Adam informed Eli and her as he left the table.

It was time Clare told Eli not to worry about this anymore. Hopefully this would be the final time she would have to say so.

"I know what's up with you," she said directly.

"Nothing's up with me," he defended.

"Eli, Kate told me everything."

Eli felt his body go numb. Kate told her everything? What did that mean? Did she tell Clare about the kiss they almost had? Did she tell her about their past? Did she tell Clare the promise they made to each other all those years ago? All the potential possibilities of everything raced through his mind.

"Everything about what?" he asked.

"Saturday."

Here it comes. Eli prepared himself for Clare's anger and he knew he would deserve it.

"I can explain; please don't get upset, but –," he began to confess.

"I'm not upset," she assured him. "I completely understand."  
"Really?" he asked taken aback.

"Of course."

"You're not mad?"

He still couldn't believe that she would be fine about him almost kissing one of her friends.

"Why would I be mad?"

"Because I was cold, stupid, and completely inconsiderate."

"No, you weren't."

"Come on, Clare. If you did that –."

"The two of us didn't make any plans for the day, but you and Kate did. If you came with me, you would've stood-up Kate. I'm glad you went over to hers. I'm okay, you don't have to worry about it."

Then it dawned on Eli that she wasn't talking about the rehearsal, but rather what happened beforehand. He was relieved that Clare didn't know the true reason behind his rant, but he understood that this conversation had to continue on this track. If he didn't, he knew Clare would suspect something else.

"I'm sorry; you know I get aggravated with myself sometimes."

"Well, don't feel bad about this, okay?" she requested of him as she took his hand. "Is that why you have been weird around Kate all day?"

He nodded slowly, realizing that a bit of the tension he had with Kate was because he wasn't able to be with Clare that day. The more he started thinking about it, the more he remembered about the rehearsing. He was thinking of Clare the whole time and his urge to be with her made his mind preoccupied, so he didn't realize that he was about to kiss Kate until their faces were close together.

That was when the real guilt set in. What caused his actions were the problems that he tried to block-out in the back of his head. His neglecting of Clare made him feel terrible and that resulted in this sinking feeling. He knew he had to make this right.

"Listen, I know it's complicated, but I feel bad about it. And I'm sorry I haven't really spent time with you this past week."

"You don't have to apologize; you had a good reason. Besides, we talked on the phone for hours every night so it's not like we haven't spoken to each other at all. Plus, it's nice that you were willing to help Kate," she reassured him.

"You're sure you're fine?"

"Absolutely," she promised him. "I'm not mad, or upset, or anything."

"You're the best," he smiled at her.

()()

"May I interest you in an after school date at the Dot?" Eli asked Clare as he met her by her locker at the final bell.

"Please do," she smiled as they began to descend down the hall with his arm around her shoulders.

They were out of the school and halfway to Morty when they heard a familiar voice behind them.

"Eli!"

They turned their heads and saw Kate rushing towards them.

"Hi," Clare greeted her.

"Hi Clare. Um . . . Eli can I talk to you about the Calculus homework will quick?" she asked.

"Sure," he permitted. "I'll meet you at the hearse," he added to Clare.

"Alright. See you Kate."

"Bye," Kate said.

They both watched Clare until she got into the passenger side of Morty.

"You didn't want to talk about homework, did you?" Eli usurped.

"No," she admitted. "I want to talk to you about Saturday."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Come on, you've been giving me the cold shoulder all day."

Eli sighed and looked Kate straight in the eye.

"Okay, I think we both agree that the situation was awkward," he began.

"Absolutely."

"And it should never happen again."

"Of course," Kate accepted. "I understand that. I just want to know why it happened. We can blame it on the play all we want but we both know that's not the reason why."

"Honestly, my mind was somewhere else for the most part. I didn't really notice what I was doing. You get it?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "Well, that's a relief. I thought you . . . never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing," Kate said quickly. "You didn't tell Clare, right?"

"No and I won't tell her, I promise," he vowed yet again.

"Thanks."

"So are we okay again?" Eli asked.

"Yeah. Can we talk to each other during the day now?"

"Definitely."

They pulled each other into a friendly hug that lasted a few seconds.

"I'm glad we got this sorted out," Kate grinned as they separated.

"Me too."

In fact, all the unresolved emotions Eli felt that day were taken away by this simple conversation. He felt content with everything again; everything was back to normal.

"You coming to the audition tomorrow?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Eli pledged. "See you then."

()()

Tuesday afternoon came and the auditions began. Clare and Adam were backstage making props and beginning to make the sets while Kate and Eli watched the auditions for Romeo and waited for the Juliet auditions to begin. They were sitting a few yards away from the stage and stayed there patiently.

"Can I ask you something?" Eli asked as the third Romeo performed.

"Sure," Kate nodded.

"Why is it so important for you to get this role?"

Kate bit her lip and looked down at the hands she had rested in her lap.

"Remember my grandmother?" she asked in a sad voice.

Eli did remember her very well. Her name was Amy and she was Kate's father's mother. She would always watch Kate on weekends, which is when the two first graders had play-dates, so she got to know Eli very well. He recalled her being a very sweet, gentle lady who was very humorous and outgoing for her age. Eli smiled at the memory of Amy.

"Yeah," he finally replied to Kate.

"Well . . . she died," Kate choked as tears began to form in her eyes.

He was taken aback; as a child, Eli always saw Amy as indestructible and immortal and that's how his memory preserved her. To hear that she was no longer on this planet made him feel cold and empty.

"No," he said while his brain and body remained numb.

Kate took a few breaths to keep her composed before continuing.

"Leukemia and a bunch of other health issues finally got to her; I didn't really know how ill she was until she went into hospital when I was ten. She died a few days after her eighty-first birthday."

Eli felt extreme empathy for his friend; Amy and Kate were very close so for her to lose someone that important must've felt like the end of the world.

"I'm so sorry," he told her.

"Thanks," she said as she rubbed her eyes. "_Romeo and Juliet _was her favorite play, so I want to be Juliet for her."

"That's very sweet of you," he said.

"Thanks . . . now I just hope that I get it."

"You can do it," Eli encouraged her. "I have faith in you."

Kate gave him a grin in appreciation

"You're right, I can do this."

"Just keep thinking that."

"Okay, auditions for Juliet are up next," Miss Hannigan announced.

"Here it goes," she sighed.

"Blow them away," he said in support.

"Thanks," Kate smiled before she stood-up and walked towards the stage. She lined up on the back of the stage with the rest of the girls auditioning for the part. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and looked at Eli, who gave her a nod and a small grin.

The auditions began and the numerous Juliets took their place on the stage. Some were good, some were bad, and some shouldn't have had the audacity to even try-out.

"Kate Parker," the voice of Miss Hannigan announced after five other girls performed their auditions; Kate was the sixth and final person.

Eli sat up in his chair and saw Kate go to the center of the stage. He smiled at her and she smiled back, although her grin was small. He could see the nerves in her, but Eli knew she'd be fine.

"And what are you going to be doing?" Miss Hannigan asked of Kate.

"Um . . . I'm going to be doing Juliet's first soliloquy in Act Two, Scene Two."

"Alright, take it away," she permitted.

Eli, Miss Hannigan, and all the other girls trying out watched as Kate performed. It was beyond remarkable. She emphasized every word that needed it, she let out all emotion, and she had everything spot-on. It was incredible. Eli was very impressed; the rehearsals she did in front of him at her home weren't any comparison to the performance she displayed today. When she finished, Eli used all his willpower to not stand from his seat and applaud. Instead he gave Kate two thumbs up when she turned her head in his direction. She smiled at the gesture he gave her.

"Well done, Kate," Miss Hannigan congratulated.

Kate joined the rest of the girls auditioning. Two or three minutes later, Miss Hannigan walked to the group of girls and talked to all of them. Eli couldn't hear what she was saying, so he just sat there and waited. Five minutes later, the girls disbanded. Eli stood from his chair as he saw Kate get off the stage.

She rushed towards him.

"_I got it_!" she squealed.

"Congrats," Eli smiled as he gave her a victory hug.

She pulled out for a second and looked straight at him.

"Thank you _so _much for helping me, Eli."

"It's no problem."

"No, seriously, I probably would've tanked the audition if you didn't help me. Thank you, thank you, _thank you_," she said as she flung her arms around him.

The two of them were so distracted by the good news that they didn't notice Clare walk out from behind the stage. She saw Eli and Kate clinging to each other. A feeling suddenly hit her like a meteor crashing on the earth. She saw the two of them hug in the parking lot yesterday and she was fine. However, as she saw the two of them now, she felt completely different. She felt nauseated, she felt a sense of indescribable anger, and, for reasons she could not figure out, she felt deceived.

* * *

"_I can't pretend that I don't see this. _

_It's really not your fault_

_That no one cares to talk about it"_

_~"Emergency" by Paramore_

* * *

I know I'm making Eli seem like a total idiot (and a bit of a jerk at times), but I really don't think of him that way at all. The way I'm writing his attitude is for the sake of the story (you'll see why down the road) and I promise I'll make him more awesome again soon.

One reviewer asked a few chapters ago if this was still an EClare fanfiction. It does have EClare, but as it stands right now, it's more of a dramatic complicated love thing that involves EClare. I know that I haven't been putting many Eli/Clare scenes lately, but a HUGE one is coming up soon . . . I'm not saying how soon though. You'll have to keep reading! The interesting stuff is coming next! REVIEWS PLEASE!


	16. Everybody's Fool

Sorry for taking so long to update. I can't even begin to describe how pleased I am with the reviews you guys are giving me! Every time I see I have one, I get excited and after I read them I get motivated to write. I thank all of you SO much! I love you peoples! Now let's stop the mushiness and get on with the story! lol.

Disclaimer: Degrassi own don't I

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

Everybody's Fool

_It's no big deal. It's no big deal._

This is all Clare had been telling herself the past week. Ever since she saw the very affable embrace between Kate and Eli, all she felt was blood-curtailing animosity. She wanted to scream at Kate and express her feelings to Eli. She didn't wish to have this feeling hovering over her and she understood she had to let it out soon before it devoured her. But there was one problem . . . there wasn't any rationality behind her feelings.

"They are _friends_!" she told herself the next Wednesday after the auditions. She was alone as she rummaged through her locker. "They are just two friends who shared a moment. Friends of the opposite sex can do that; Adam and I hug all the time. I'm fine."

_It was an extremely friendly hug though_, her conscience argued with her.

"It's nothing, Clare," she scolded herself. "Everything is normal. A hug means _nothing_."

"You do know talking to yourself is the first sign of madness," a familiar voice stated from behind her.

She turned her head to look over her shoulder and saw Eli wearing his usual smirk. Clare playfully rolled her eyes before she closed her locker and leaned against it.

"It's not like you never talk to yourself," she pointed-out.

"I don't deny it."

"So does that mean _you _are going mad?"

"Going? Clare, you're dating the Mad Hatter," he remarked.

Clare laughed lightly at his comparison. His presence and his sense of humor always made her day brighter. As she stood alone with him, her anger was gone . . . for now.

"Does that make me Alice then?" she continued with a flirtatious grin.

"Technically the Hatter and Alice never actually had a romance in the movie . . . but why not?" Eli accepted, returning his own loving smile to Clare.

He took her hand and they stared at each other for a second. They were about to lean in for kiss when they saw the Civics teacher walk down the hall. They leaned away from each other as she gave them a look that appeared to mean, "you know the rules". She made her way down the hallway to be sure no other sort of disruption was occurring in the Degrassi halls.

"Close call," Clare said.

"I'll say," he agreed. He kept his eyes on the teacher until she was out of sight. "She's gone now."

"True," she said before kissing him. She put her lips to his and was about to become totally lost within his kiss when . . .

"Oh, snap!"

The two stopped the kiss and turned their heads to see Kate standing by them. Clare felt the familiar anger sweep back inside her.

"I'm interrupting; sorry," she said, her face being nonchalant about what she just saw. She backed away and went down the hall.

"I sometimes think Adam and her keep tabs on us to interrupt us whenever we try to kiss," Eli stated.

"Yeah," Clare said, trying to hide her anger. "I say that we need some time together; just me and you at our special place."

"I like the sound of that," he conceded as the thought of him and Clare at the abandoned church filled his heart and mind.

"What about Saturday?" she asked hopefully, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Perfect. Morty and I will pick you up at noon."

Clare smiled at him as he gazed into her eyes.

"I've missed you," he confessed to her.

"You see me almost every day."  
"I mean I miss hanging-out with you. Like you've said, we've barely had time when it was just you and me."

"Just remember Saturday . . . and there's Drama after school today. After we're done there, we can go by the Dot."

"I _love_ the way you're thinking today," Eli smiled.

()()

Clare and Adam were making the paper-mache swords in the Art room that afternoon. Eli was supposed to be helping them, but he wasn't there. He told them he would start helping them with the props and set after the auditions, so he should've been back there right now. But, just like last Wednesday, study period yesterday, and yesterday afternoon, he wasn't there. His excuse for the last few times was because Kate needed help with her lines or she needed support. He told Adam and Clare that he would definitely be there with them today after school . . . but, alas, he wasn't.

"This is crazy!" Adam stated in frustration as he slapped another piece of newspaper on an almost completed sword. They've been doing this for half-an-hour and there was no sign of Eli. "He said us that he would start helping once Kate got the role of Juliet. She's had the part for a week and he's _still_ not here!"

"She needs the support; she is playing the lead," Clare reminded as she put the sword to the side to dry. "One down, nine to go."

They started making sword number two when Adam started expressing his anger towards Eli's absence.

"I know Kate needs support, but she can easily get that from her cast-mates and Hannigan and all three of us can encourage her when we are _not_ working. I mean we can give support without being by her side every second possible."

"Do you not like Kate or something?" Clare asked bluntly.

"I don't mind her . . . but there's something . . . never mind."

"Something what?"

"I don't know, I'm just annoyed. We've needed Eli's help for days and he hasn't come, so I'm a bit cranky."

"I'm sure the two of us can hold down the fort until gets here."

"Clare, we have to get nine more swords and five daggers by next Wednesday and we are running behind already. I think we're going to need an extra set of hands sooner or later. So we're screwed if Eli doesn't get his butt back here soon."

"Keep your head on," Clare said as she stood up from the stool. "I'll go get him."

She washed all the glue off her hands and took off the sticky apron she'd been wearing and hung it up. She walked towards the rehearsals in the auditorium. She entered and saw the students playing Benvolio, Mercutio, and Romeo rehearsing a scene on the stage.

It didn't take Clare long to find Eli. She saw him and Kate leaning against the wall to the left of the stage. They weren't watching the scene; instead they were talking to each other with huge smiles on their faces.

Clare observed them from the door for a minute. Kate's eyes were full of happiness as she slowly moved a strand of her brunette hair behind her ear. Clare couldn't hear what Eli was saying, but he must've said something amusing because Kate gave him a playful nudge in the side as she giggled.

Clare felt hallow inside as she watched the scene continue before her. For the second time in a bit more than a week, she watched someone who was supposedly a good friend act a bit too kind with her true love. She wanted to throw-up at the sight of it. Her emptiness was soon replaced by frustration and anger as she saw Kate stick her tongue out at Eli, which made him chuckle.

Not wanting to see anymore, Clare walked towards them as quick as she could. She knew that the faster she'd get there, the faster she could get Eli away from Kate, ergo ceasing the flirting.

"Hi Clare," Kate greeted when she got there.

"Hi," she replied. "Eli, Adam and I need your help with the props in the Art room."

"Alright," he nodded. "I'll be there in a second."

Clare simply replied with an "okay" before walking as fast as she could back to the room. She put on her apron and saw that Adam was still working on the second sword so she began helping him with it. She began plastering the glue covered newspaper strips on the sword with him, but she was so angry that specks of glue were hitting her in the face and getting in her hair.

Adam was also getting hit with the glue that was flying everywhere. He looked at Clare's face and saw how aggravated she was.

"You okay?" he asked cautiously.

"Dandy," she replied through clenched teeth. "Eli's going to be here soon."

She continued sticking paper on the sword for another minute when she decided to pause; she exerted all her anger and energy by her fleeting paper plastering and she needed to gain it back before she did anymore.

"I don't freaking believe her!" Clare blurted out.

"Who?" Adam asked as he also stopped working on the sword.

"Kate," she replied with venom in her voice.

"What happened?" he asked instantly.

"She's flirting with Eli."

"Seriously? You see it too."

"Yeah. Wait, you mean you've seen her flirt with him?"

"Clare, she's been flirting with him since day one. You should see her in class sometimes. It makes me want to puke."

Clare's blood boiled in fury. She couldn't believe this. She trusted Kate and it turns out that all she wanted was flirt with Eli.

"That bitch!"

"Whoa, Clare!" Adam said. He never heard Clare call anyone that before.

"Shut up Adam; I'm not in the mood for the Saint Clare swore parade."

"You're right, sorry," he said. "I'll be back."

Adam left the room and made his away to the auditorium. He stood far away from them as they talked; they were still in the position they were five minutes ago when Clare left them. He instantly saw the flirting Kate was doing, but that wasn't the only thing that worried him. Eli was looking at Kate in a certain way that Adam hadn't seen in the longest time; he had a glisten in his eye that he had when he first started liking Clare. Furious with both Kate and Eli, Adam turned on the camera on his phone. He zoomed in on the two of them and took a picture. There was no way Eli could deny Kate's feelings for him now.

He put his phone in his pocket and rushed towards them.

"Eli, you have to come with me! It's an emergency!"

"Is Clare okay?"

"Come on," Adam said as he started running out of the auditorium with Eli right behind him.

Adam and Eli stopped sprinting when they got halfway down the hall.

"Can you _please_ explain to me what's going on?" Eli asked.

"How's your shoulder?" Adam asked randomly.

"My shoulder?"  
With little warning, Adam punched Eli in the shoulder.

"Ow!" Eli gasped in pain as he rubbed his now sore shoulder. "What was that for?"

"You're an idiot!"

"You've called me that before; I'm aware that you think of me that way," Eli snapped.

"No, you're a bigger idiot now!"

"What did I do?"

"You were being Flirty McFlirtyson with Kate!" Adam nearly shouted.

"What?" Eli said, being taken aback. "Are you crazy? I never flirted with her."

"I beg to differ."

"When have I ever flirted with her?"

"Ten seconds ago," Adam said as he pulled out his phone and found the picture he took. "Look."

Eli looked at the picture. All he saw was he and Kate standing in the auditorium as they talked.

"That's not flirting," he protested.

"You can't deny the photographic evidence amigo," Adam said.

"Come on! You can't tell anything from this picture," Eli argued.

"Uh, yes you can. You at the way she's giving you those eyes. You can tell she likes you."

"You know how I told you that you were crazy for thinking Kate liked me? I'm now changing _crazy_ to _insane_. Plus you can barely see the eyes in this," he pointed-out.

"Fine, forget the eyes. Let's look at the body-language."

"It never ends," Eli mumbled.

Eli was irritating Adam at this point and he was getting tired of it. He needed to show Eli one way or another that there was a line that he was going to cross if he didn't watch out.

"Listen," Adam demanded. "It's not just Kate who's doing the flirting here! It's you as well. I don't care if you don't see it or not; I love you and Clare like siblings, so I don't want to see either of you get hurt."

"Relax, no one is going to get –."

"Someone will if _you_ don't keep your flirting in check! Just flirt with your girlfriend and no one else."

"I'm going to say to say this to you one more time and I hope it gets through your head," Eli began. "I love Clare, Kate is just a friend, she is not flirting with me in anyway, she does _not_ have feelings for me beyond friendship, and I am _not_ – _flirting – with – her_!"

"You're getting very defensive Eli," Adam stated.

"Because you're getting on my nerves," he snapped bluntly.

"Fine! Don't believe me, but when Kate or you do something stupid, I won't hesitate to say 'I told you so'."

"What do I have to do to prove to you that I won't flirt Kate?"

Adam thought for a moment.

"Remember when you told me that one of the things you'll never do was grow a mustache?"

Eli rolled his eyes.

"The way you want me to prove my lack of feelings for Kate is by growing a mustache?"

"Exactly," Adam nodded. "For one day you have to come to school with a _real_ mustache; none of those fake Halloween things."

"Fine! Even though I don't want to, if it'll make you shut-up about this Kate business, I'll do it. By next week I'll have a mustache."

"Good. Now let's get to the Art room; we have stuff to glue."

()()

Eli and Clare were sitting at the Dot a few hours later. They were just talking and enjoying each other's company, but it was special. They were content with the simple scenario of having coffee and exchanging small talk.

"Have you heard from your sister lately?" Eli asked.

"It's been a few weeks, but I'd imagine she's busy. Last time I talked to her, she said she'll try and come over Christmas . . . and she wants to meet you."

Eli smiled; he had heard a lot about Darcy from Clare and he also wanted to meet her, but he yet to have to the opportunity since she was still studying in Kenya.

"I like to meet her too," he finally told Clare.

"She'd like you," she said with a grin. "I know she would."

"Hey guys," a new voice greeted.

They turned their heads and saw Kate walking into the Dot. Clare tried not to roll her eyes as Kate went towards their table; the smile that was on her face was now replaced with a grimace.

"Hi Juliet," Eli kidded. "What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, what are you doing here Kate?" Clare asked through clenched teeth; Kate and Eli, however, didn't notice.

"Oh I was just in the neighborhood," she shrugged as she sat down next to Eli. "So what's happening?"

"Not much," Eli replied. "How did the rest of rehearsal go?"

"Alright. I didn't have any scenes with Romeo today, so nothing major. I'll probably be more involved with the rehearsal next week. How are the props and set coming?"

"Not bad," Eli replied.

The two started talking back and forth about the play and it wasn't long until Clare felt like a third-wheel. She tried to speak every now and then, but Kate would usually cut her off before she stringed two syllables together. The conversation soon turned from the play to an essay that they had to do for their History class. Clare's presence wasn't acknowledged for nearly twenty minutes and after ten attempts to get involved in the conversation, she decided to give-up.

Knowing that she wasn't going to be in the discussion anytime soon, she decided that she wasn't going to wait around to be accepted into the chat.

"Uh, Eli I gotta go. I'll call you later," she stated as she stood-up from her chair.

"Okay," he replied. Before he could say anything else, Clare left the Dot.

"Is she alright?" Kate asked.

"I'm not sure," Eli replied honestly.

()()

Clare walked home as fast as she could. A million thoughts were rushing through her head. Eli never left her out like that before; he knew she was sitting there, so why did this happen? It was aggravating that Kate showed up in the first place, then she completed distracted Eli from their after-school date. It sent her head reeling with doubts and fears.

She got home and greeted her father before she hid herself away in her room. She lied on her bed and tried to figure out what was going on with Eli and Kate. She tried to tell herself constantly that the two of them were simply friends, but that defense was weakening by the minute.

Was she going to lose Eli to this girl? Was he going to leave her for Kate like K.C did for Jenna? If he did, would she be able to take it? Would she recover? Would Eli care that he broke her heart?

"Stop it!" Clare growled at herself as she sat up on the bed. She grabbed the top of her head and clenched her fists in her hair. "This is _Eli_. He's not going to do anything. He cares. Everything's going to be fine."

Just then her message alert went off on her phone. She opened it up and saw a text message from Eli.

_Sorry about the dot. Didn't mean 2 leave u out. Forgive me?_

Clare couldn't help but smile a little. He did realize what he did and that made her feel a bit better. She felt incredibly stupid now. Eli always noticed these things and there was no way he was going to stop caring about her because of Kate.

_Of course_, she replied via text. Within twenty seconds, she received a message back from him.

_Thanks. I love you._

Whether he said it with words or written them to her, those three words still had the same effect on her as they did a bit more than a month ago when they both confessed their love for each other.

_I love you too. XX_

Clare now thought herself as nothing but foolish. How could she even consider the idea of Eli leaving her for Kate? He wouldn't leave her. He promised he'd always be there. He told her she was the one for him and he wanted to be with her forever. He meant all of that . . . right?

* * *

"_Never was and never will be_

_Have you no shame? _

_Don't you see me? _

_You know you've got everybody fooled"_

_~"Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence_

* * *

The mustache thing is important. I'll explain why in a few chapters.

I'm considering not watching Degrassi again when it starts up again July. I don't need to know anything from it (since I've mentioned a million times that I'm not going on the 2011 seasons onward) and I'm thinking it'll probably make me feel angry every time I try to write this story (I don't why, but it will. Make sense?). What do you guys think I should do?

I am not sure when Chapter Seventeen will be up. I hope to put it up soon, but I'm running low on my creative juices so I'm going to take a break from this story until I'm recharged. Until then, REVIEW MY PRETTIES! REVIEW!


	17. I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Thanks again for the feedback guys. Nothing makes me happier than knowing I drive people crazy, ha-ha. I decided to take a break from the drama of Kate and put in an EClare fluff chapter (yay!). After this chapter and Chapter Eighteen, I'll probably take a break from this story for a while; it depends on the Force (AKA my writing-mojo). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Degrassi isn't owned by me or the flying turtles! The rumors aren't true!

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Eli knocked on Clare's front door that Saturday. He was looking forward to this date with her since Wednesday when they planned it. He was glad it was just going to be him and Clare for a day. He liked hanging-out with the group, but he wanted to spend some time with his soul mate.

As for his agreement with Adam, Eli knew the truth and he felt like he didn't need to prove it to Adam. He didn't like Kate in anyway except as a friend and he was going to keep it that way. He was in love with Clare and he was sure Adam was just overreacting. He told Adam to forget the mustache agreement, but all Adam did was say, "Okay, but I'm standing by the fact that you are the biggest idiot on the planet."

Eli was able to move on with his life as normal, but he smiled as he left his house a few minutes before noon on this day. It was just going to be him and Clare, which was his equivalent to paradise.

He waited on the front step of the Edwards's home. The door soon opened and the face of Clare greeted him.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Hey," he smiled before he took her hand. "To the Batmobile, my lady."

Clare smiled as they walked to Morty. She was also pleased with the fact that it was going to be just her and Eli, but that didn't stop her from feeling minor frustration. She tried not to be affected by what happened on Wednesday, but she was. Every time she saw Kate or heard her name, her anger came back to her at a violent speed. She could tell that Eli was trying to make up for what happened at the Dot; he would call her every morning and night and he would be by her side whenever he could when they were at Degrassi.

She was glad that Eli and herself were escaping everyday life today. There would be no Kate, no worries, nothing and no one except the two of them.

The two of them drove through the town in Morty until they arrived at the abandoned church. The sun was shining through the autumn leaves above them and onto the remaining wall that supported the windows and the stacks of bricks that formed lower walls and a few short pillars.

"I know you're still upset about what happened at the Dot," Eli stated. "I want to make that up to you."

"I'm not upset," Clare reassured.

"Swear?"

Clare sighed; it sometimes scared her that he could read her mind so easily.

"I don't want to be. I don't know why I am; it's not a big deal."

"It is; I was a jerk for freezing you out like I did."

"You've apologized; I'll be fine."

"I still want to make up for what I did," he protested.

"How? We're already going on this date."

"I'm going to be sure no one interrupts today," he explained as he pulled out his phone and turned it off; he put it on the dashboard and withdrew his hand from it. "I now have no contact with the outside world; it's just me and you."

Clare smiled at how sweet he was being although he was already patching up the small hole that was created. Eli turned on the radio and turned it up so they would be able to hear it outside. The two of them climbed out of the hearse, but Eli walked to the back. He was at Clare's side a few seconds later with a container and two bottles in his hand.

"And I also brought the traditional PB and J sandwiches and lemonade."

"Ah yes, the Eli Goldsworthy specialty," Clare smiled. The two of them sat on Morty's hood and faced each other as the soft sound of My Chemical Romance played in the background.

"Well, I don't mean to brag, but my actual specialty is chicken stir-fry," he said as he opened the container of sandwiches and set them on the hearse's roof so they weren't in the way but still in reaching distance.

"I didn't know you could cook."

"Now you know."

"What else can you make?" Clare asked as they each started to eat.

"Hmm . . . chicken tetrazzini, spaghetti and meatballs, and I can make the best beef stroganoff."

"Really? The best?"

"According my parents at least; I'll make it for you sometime and you can see for yourself."

"Deal," Clare smiled. "I'm looking forward to tasting a dish made by Chef Goldsworthy."

The two of them chuckled lightly for a second.

"I've never expected you to be the cooking type," she admitted before taking a sip of lemonade.

"I'm full of surprises," Eli said with a smile. "So what about you? Do you have any culinary abilities I don't know about?"

"I can make almost every Italian dish known to man."

"Impressive," Eli approved. "I bet they're awesome."

"I'll make you a deal. You make the stroganoff and I'll make fettuccine alfredo and we can each tell the other if our cooking is any good."

"Agreed," Eli said.

They sealed the deal by bumping their bottles together. They ate and drank in silence for a bit until Clare spoke.

"We've been dating for ten months and I've just found out that you can cook. So what else do I not know about you?"

"Clare, if you knew everything about me there would be no more mystery."

"I know. I don't want to know everything single thing about you, just a bit more," Clare admitted. "The little things that make you who you are."

Eli saw her point immediately and he also desired to learn more about his other half.

"I want to get to know you more too," he agreed. "How about this? You can ask me as many questions about anything you want, but I get to ask you a question after each one."

"You mean sort of like Twenty Questions except they're unlimited?" she clarified.

"Precisely. What do you say Edwards? Up to it?"

"Okay, you're on. But you have to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

"I will if you will," he agreed. "Okay, what's your first question?"

Clare thought about it for a second and finally decided on the first of many questions.

"What was your most embarrassing moment?"

"Jumping right in I see," he laughed. "I was thirteen when this happened. I was in school and I drank a lot of juice at lunch. Afterwards I went to my History class and I fell asleep. The teacher woke me up and I expected him to be angry because I'd fallen asleep in that class countless times before; instead, he just gave me this creeped-out look. I saw that there were other kids who were looking at me weirdly as well and some of them were just snickering. I then realized that my seat and my pants were extremely warm and wet . . . and my shoes were in some kind of puddle. I looked around my desk . . . and pee was surrounding me."

Clare bit her lips and tried not to laugh; her face was turning red because of it. Eli rolled his eyes with a smirk.

"Let it out," he accepted.

She finally released her laughter until her stomach started to hurt. She took a few breaths before turning back to Eli.

"I thought you had the bladder of a camel," she recalled.

"Camels have to urinate at some time. Now I believe it is _my_ _turn_ to ask you a question," he added as he flashed his classic lopsided grin.

"Go ahead."

"What kind of music do you like?" Eli asked her. Her taste in music never really occurred to him until she brought up how little they knew about each other.

"Celine Dion, Relient K, Celtic Woman, Avril Lavigne, Evanescence, Flyleaf, Shinedown, and Paramore. I also like some of the groups you've introduced me to; I like Black Veil Brides, Dead Hand, My Chemical Romance, and Bullet for My Valentine."

"I'm glad to know I'm an influence on the youth."

"What are some places you would like to travel to?" she asked to continue the game.

"I've always wanted to go to Italy, London, Hawaii, and Salem, Massachusetts," he told her.

"That's cool. I also want to go to London someday."

"Maybe one day we could go together," Eli suggested.

"I like the sound of that," Clare admitted. The idea of going to Europe with her true love one day made her feel all sorts of joy. "Your turn."

Eli thought for a moment before he settled on a certain question.

"Do you have any talents that I don't know about?"

"I play a bit of piano," she admitted.

"Really?" he said, sounding intrigued.

"I'm no Beethoven or anything, but I can play a few melodies. What's your favorite movie?"

"_The Dark Knight_," he answered.

"I should've seen that coming," Clare laughed.

"It's not really a secret. Okay . . . do you have any embarrassing nicknames I don't know about?"

"Clare Bear." "Come on; everyone knows that name."

"Oh gosh," she sighed with a chuckle. "Do I have to answer that?"

"Yep," Eli grinned.

Clare put her lemonade bottle next to Eli's on the roof of the hearse before looking at her hands. He saw her cheeks flush a bright shade of pink.

"Uh . . . my aunt calls me Piglet."

Eli could help but let out a few chuckles.

"I was a very tiny, pink baby," Clare explained over his laughter. "She called me that ever since I was born and she's probably never going to stop. There's your answer; that's the only embarrassing nickname I have."

"It's not _that_ embarrassing," Eli told her. "It's actual a very cute name; it suits you . . . in the good way."

Clare shook her head in small motions.

"Can we please just move on to the next question?"

"Alright . . . Piglet," he added with a grin.

Clare nudged him playfully in the side.

"What's your middle name?" she questioned.

"Nicholas; it was my mom's dad's name."

"Elijah Nicholas Goldsworthy . . . I like it."

"So where does your middle name come from?" Eli asked.

"My aunt," she replied. "She was the same aunt who gave me the nickname Piglet."

"Ah, good old Aunt Diana."

Although they were both chuckling, the two of them could tell that the questions were about to get deeper. They both wanted to know some more personal things about each other, but they were a bit nervous to ask what was on their minds.

It was now Clare's turn to ask the question and since she couldn't take the anxiety anymore, she decided to ask the first seemingly awkward question.

"If I decided to not have sex with you, would you go do it with someone else if you knew I'd never found out?"

"Absolutely not."

"I knew you were gonna say that. I don't know why I asked."

"Well, I'll say it whenever you need me to. I promise not to be intimate with anyone else while in this relationship."

"Thank you," she smiled in gratitude. She still couldn't believe how patient he was being for something that might not happen for a while and it warmed her heart; she was beginning to understand more and more each day that Eli and she were supposed to be together.

"What is your idea of a perfect date?" Eli asked. "And don't say something like 'it doesn't matter as long as I'm with the person I love' or something like that."

"Fine," Clare accepted; that's what she was going to say. "Um . . . I never really thought about it. But I guess it's a three-way tie between a walk on the beach at sunset, a romantic dinner in the moonlight, and just simply gazing at the stars."

"Simple yet romantic," Eli nodded in approval.

"I guess," she shrugged. "Would you be mad if I ever called you in the middle of the night just to tell you I loved you?"

"Not at all. Would you trust me with all your deepest darkest secrets?" Eli asked.

Clare thought through the last year since she met Eli. Her memory served her well and she couldn't remember Eli ever betraying her trust. He never revealed her secrets to anyone and he told her that she could tell him anything.

"Yes," she answered him. "How old were you when you had your first kiss?"

"Going to the past now," Eli sighed. "To clarify, do you mean actual make-out or first kiss in general?"

"In general."

"In that case . . . six."

Clare suddenly remembered that Eli and Kate were friends at the age of six. Was she his first kiss? She considered asking him, but she was too afraid of the answer to bother. She attempted to move the thought to the back of her head; she wanted today to be special and the last thing she wanted to think about was Kate. Unfortunately, the thoughts were already circulating in her mind. She started to feel as low as she did a few days ago.

"What's something I don't know about you?" Eli asked.

"I was the ping-pong champion of summer church camp for three years in a row when I was eight, nine, and ten," she informed him.

"Cool," he said. "My girlfriend's the Jedi Master of the pong . . . other than Forrest Gump of course."

Clare let out a small chuckle, but the thoughts of Kate weren't disappearing. She had to know that Eli wasn't interested in her. Kate flirted with him regularly and Clare needed to know that Eli didn't want anything to do with Kate beyond companionship.

"Clare?" Eli said when he noticed that she zoned-out.

"Oh, right," Clare said as she was brought back to Earth. "Um . . . are you attracted to anyone?"

"Besides you?" he said. "No one."

"Alright," Clare smiled in relief.

"Timeout for a second. Why did you ask me that?"

"I was curious," she said; she wasn't completely lying. "We said we could ask any question."

"Do you think I am attracted to anyone besides you?"

"No . . . but are you?"

"I just said I wasn't. Why do you even think I'm . . .?"

The answer came to him instantly . . . Adam. He must've told Clare that he, Eli, was flirting with Kate and now Clare brought up this question as a subtle way to ask if he truly was flirting with his friend. What Eli didn't know was that Adam never told Clare about her boyfriend's flirting; he knew it would destroy her if she knew this, so he kept his mouth shut.

Clare was just asking this question now so she could be reassured that Eli didn't feel anything for Kate. Now, however, she wished she never brought it up.

"Never mind," Clare sighed before getting another sandwich. "Okay, how about this: to make us even, you can ask any question about anything you want and I'll answer it without hesitation then we can move on."

"Fair enough," he agreed. He decided to deal with the Adam situation later. For now he wanted to ask a really good question. "If we broke-up and K.C apologized for all he did, would you take him back?"

"No way," she scoffed. "I have no idea what I saw in him in the first place."

"He never deserved you anyway," Eli said.

Clare grinned and thought of her next question.

"What is your biggest fear?"

Eli grasped his hands together and stared down at them for a minute. He only had one fear and it was his biggest. He never told Clare because he didn't want to act clingy. However, he agreed to be honest with her and he knew he had to answer; in fact, a part of him wanted to tell her.

"I'm afraid that the person I love more than anything is going to break my heart."

Although his eyes weren't meeting hers, she saw the fear in them. Eli needed to know that Clare wanted to stay with him forever and that she had no intention of ever breaking his heart.

Clare cupped her hands around his and brought them to her lips. She kissed one of his fingers. As her lips grazed his fingers, Eli looked up. As she continued to kiss him, her eyes stared into his green ones. She removed her lips but continued to hold his hands.

"I knew this one girl once. She was in love with this one guy who was funny, charming, smart, and simply amazing. She wanted to be with this him forever, but she was worried that he would leave her one day. She never told him her fears, but she promised herself that she would never break _his_ heart unless extreme circumstances occurred. She kept that promise ever since . . . but she always secretly hoped that he would keep a similar one."

Eli grinned when he realized that the girl in the story was Clare and he was the guy. He always hoped that Clare would want to be with him forever, but it was music to his ears when he heard the words come from her.

"I'm sure that he will keep the same promise," he vowed.

Clare smiled as she waited for him to ask the next question.

"What did you mean by 'forever'?" Eli asked.

"I mean until the day we die. Do you want to be with me for that long?"

"Just try and stop me."

Clare felt her eyes fill with happy tears. Eli wanted to be with her forever and thought made her feel incredible. No, incredible was an understatement. Overwhelmed with joy, she released his hands and pulled him into a hug. She smiled as she felt Eli's arms wrap around her waist. She planted a kiss on his cheek and pulled out of the hug.

"Next question," she requested as they both smiled at each other.

"If a genie granted you one wish, what would it be?" Eli asked.

Clare mused over the question for a few seconds until finally coming up with an answer.

"I'd wish to be a publish novelist so I could dedicate it to someone I love. How would you describe your perfect mate?" Clare asked.

"For starters," Eli began. "She has to be smart, funny, kind, and caring. She has to be this tall." He raised his hand up until it was level with the top of Clare's head. "She has to have beautiful blue eyes and short, curly auburn hair."

Clare started to blush and grin.

"She has to like _Twilight_, be close to my family, tolerate me, and likes the bands Relient K, Evanescence, Dead Hand, and Bullet for My Valentine. She has to be able to cook Italian, her nickname has to be Piglet, and her name has to be Clare Diana Edwards."

Clare's heart started going faster than ever; all her feelings concerning Kate were erased as Eli spoke to her.

"That's extremely specific," she mentioned with a grin.

"There's a reason for that," he replied. He ran his hand through her hair as they rested their foreheads against each other's.

"And what is it?"

"I thought it was my turn to ask a question," he reminded.

"That question is tagged on to the other question," Clare explained.

"I don't remember that being in the rules."

"Fine, ask me a question," Clare chuckled in defeat.

"Do you think that there is a possibility that we'll have a future together after we graduate?"

"Yes, definitely," Clare answered instantly.

Eli leaned in to kiss her, but she put her index finger against his lips before he could.

"You never answered my question. Why were you so specific about your perfect mate?"

She lowered her finger, but she placed her hand on the back of his neck and waited for him to answer. He scooted closer to her and he placed his hand on her waist.

"Because I don't want my perfect mate to be anyone but you . . . you're perfect for me."

Clare smiled as she felt her heart beat in her chest. She hadn't felt this alive in a while and she loved feeling this way. All she needed was Eli and his kindness and she knew that she would be alright. Kate wasn't important; the only thing that was important was Eli holding her as he continued to admit his feelings for her. She felt ashamed for even considering the idea that she would lose this amazing guy to Kate. She knew how much he felt for her and she understood that he would leave her behind.

"May I kiss you now?" Eli asked.

"Please do."

He put his lips onto hers. His lips were so gentle against hers, but it was phenomenal that they were able to send a shockwave of power though her body. She forgot the entire world and everyone in it except Eli as his lips tenderly fondled hers.

"Game over?" she asked as she unglued herself from the kiss.

"For now."

()()

They stayed at the church for hours. They talked about school, movies, music, and some past experiences they've had. It was a very pleasant afternoon to say the least. At around five o'clock, two of them were driving down the street. They stopped in front of Clare's house.

"I had a good time today," Clare said as she unbuckled her seatbelt. "I'm glad I got to know you better."

"Me too," he replied. "Thanks for letting me open up to you; I don't really do that with a lot of people."

"I know and I'm glad you can talk to me."

For the umpteenth time that day, Clare wrapped her arms around Eli and hugged him. He reciprocated the hug without the slightest hesitation.

"I love you," Eli whispered in her ear.

"I love you too," Clare responded before she brought her lips to his. "Forever."

"I'll call you tomorrow Piglet," he promised with a grin.

"Not unless I call you first Elijah Nicholas," she teased before she climbed out of the hearse. She made her way back to her house but she turned around and waved to Eli before she went inside.

Smiling at the fact that the date went well, Eli drove home and went to his room. He sat down on his bed and turned on his phone. He was relieved that he thought of turning his phone off while he was with Clare because he saw that he had four missed calls. One was from Adam and the other three were from Kate. Although there were four calls, he only had one message.

"Hi Eli, it's Adam," the voice of Adam explained in the message. "Listen, Kate called me a few minutes ago and kept asking me why you weren't answering your phone. I told her you were on a date with Clare and that you probably turned it off. She said she was fine, but I heard the bitterness in her voice and I'm pretty sure I heard the sound of a soda can being crushed in her hand. I think she was jealous and that means she has to have some feelings for you. You can't keep denying this; if you do, you'll eventually slip-up. Anyway, I'll talk to you later. See you."

Eli closed his phone and tried not to be upset. Was Adam ever going to stop? Of course he wasn't. Until Eli proved once and for all that he wasn't interested in Kate, Adam's theories weren't going to stop. He knew for sure now that Adam could never find out about what happened at Kate's a few weeks ago; if he did, he knew then that Adam would either kill him, Kate, or both of them.

He had to put a stop to any suspicions as soon as he could . . . unfortunately there was only one thing he could do to cease them for the time being. Eli opened his phone and texted Adam. He knew Adam would understand what he meant in the message; he was less than thrilled with what he was going to do, but he knew he had to pause the drama that was going on for a while.

_Fine I'll grow it._

* * *

"_When I'm with anybody else_

_It's so hard to be myself"_

_~"I'm Only Me When I'm With You" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

I made up Eli's middle name; I couldn't find it anywhere on the web, so I figured 'what the heck?' and said Nicholas.

Okay guys, should I watch Degrassi next month? I'm not sure if I should or not because I don't want to see EClare with other people and I don't want it to affect my mind . . . does that makes sense? Please let me know what I should do. Reviews please!


	18. Fully Alive

Thank you to all the people who reviewed again! I've taken all your opinions on whether or not I should watch Degrassi next month into consideration and I decided I will. Hopefully once the new season actually comes and goes it won't drive me so crazy.

This chapter includes circumstance that my best friend (who has recently discovered my EClare/fanfic obsession) begged me to write. When she first asked me to write the certain scenario, I was like "Are you crazy? I'm not doing that." A few seconds later I said "I could turn that into something". I decided to mix the scene into something that could add some fuel to this fire that's going to start soon (I have to stop with the spoilers!) with a little bit of fluff and BOOM this chapter was created. So here's the result. Thank you best friend sister-like person for giving me this idea! Here it is . . .

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . and my best friend owns Richard (you'll see what I mean).

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

Fully Alive

School wasn't in session on Monday for some ridiculous reason or another, so all the students came back on Tuesday. The autumn weather was finally settling in and everyone began wearing jackets to school. Clare's mother dropped her off at Degrassi and she went straight to her locker.

She had not seen Eli since Saturday, but she talked to him Sunday and Monday via cell phone. Whenever she spoke to him, she felt her heart flutter with sincere happiness. Their conversation on Saturday made her feel some much closer to him and she wasn't going to step away. Clare knew what Eli and she had was real, so she decided to just try and put her fears of Kate to rest for the time being.

She was going to try very hard to not keep glancing at Kate to be sure she wasn't flirting with Eli at Drama Club today and she wasn't going to let her doubts about Eli's feelings for her get the best of her like they did last week. That was her mission for today.

Clare closed her locker that morning and looked everywhere for Eli. She had yet to see him, Adam, or Kate anywhere that morning. Deciding to just wait by his locker, which was only a few away from hers, she stood by it and started reading _New Moon_ for the fiftieth time.

"Hi," his voice greeted a few minutes later.

"Hi," she replied. She went to look up at him, but she noticed that he was hiding his head in the locker. "Hiding from me?"

"Not just you," his voice echoed around him in the locker. "The entire human race."

"Why?" she asked. It was so weird for Eli to be embarrassed; he usually didn't care what people thought of him.

"It's a long story."

"The bell's not going to ring for another ten minutes," Clare informed him. "Do you think you can explain it in that period of time?"

Eli sighed in defeat.

"Try not to laugh," he requested of her. "I . . . grew a mustache."

Clare gaped at him; that was one of the things he told her he would never do.

"Why?" she asked. Eli could tell she was trying not to laugh.

"Adam," he answered simply. He couldn't give her all the details without bringing up Kate. "He dared me to wear a self-grown mustache to school for a whole day."

"That explains it," Clare accepted; only Adam would challenge Eli to grow a mustache. "So are you going to hide yourself in there forever or are you going to show me?"

"Hide," Eli said instantly.

"Come on Eli. I'm sure it's not _that_ bad."

"Wanna bet?"

"I'm going to see sometime today eventually; might as well get it over with."

"Fine," Eli accepted after a few seconds of silence. He slowly pulled his head out of the locker, closed it, and faced Clare.

She was taken aback slightly, but she was also amused. It wasn't large or full at all; instead it was small and sat a bit above his upper lip. It wasn't as bad as he led her to believe. However, it didn't suit him at all and it made her chuckle in a mild amusement.

"And the laughter begins," Eli sighed in exasperation.

"I'm sorry," she gasped as she clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Told you it was that bad."

"No," Clare enforced as she lowered her hand.

Trying to keep her composed, Clare lifted her finger and inched it towards his upper lip.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" he asked as he maneuvered away from the finger.

"I'm trying to pet it."

"Please don't!" Eli protested as he backed away from Clare. However, she just kept getting closer to him. "Why do you even want to?"

"It looks fluffy."

"It's not fluffy!"

"Yes it is," she teased as she lowered her hand. "You're fluffy."

"Clare," he groaned lightly.

"I'm going to start calling you Fluffy," she stated.

"Don't call me Fluffy!"

"Why not? You call me Piglet," Clare said, remembering the numerous times he called her Piglet when they talked on the phone over the weekend.

"Yeah, but that's a cute name."

"And I think the name Fluffy is a cute nickname for you."

"Okay, I won't call you Piglet anymore," Eli surrendered.

"Thank you, Fluffy," Clare smiled as she batted her eyelashes at him.

"Argh!"

"You know you like it."

"Hey guys," Adam greeted as he joined the couple. He saw Eli's mustache and fought back a smile. Instead, he nodded in approval. "Wow Eli, you actually did it."

"I can't believe you dared him to do it," Clare said to Adam.

"It was more of a compromise . . . I think I'll give it a name."

"You are _not_ naming my facial hair!" Eli stated. "It's going to be gone by tomorrow anyway!"

"I'm still giving it a name," Adam said. "Hmm . . . I think I'll call it Richard; it looks like a Richard."

"Don't call it Richard and don't call me Fluffy," he added to Clare.

"Fluffy," Adam snickered. "I'm _so _calling you that from now on . . . and I'm calling the mustache Richard."

"Richard and Fluffy, the dynamite duo," Clare kidded.

Eli rolled his eyes as he tried not to smile.

"That's it! I'm shaving it off the second I get home!" he declared as he went down the hall. Unfortunately, he knew he had to deal with the harmless teasing for the rest of the day plus the two hours of Drama Club.

He decided to give Adam and Clare some time to get over their fits of laughter and went to find Kate. He hoped she wouldn't laugh just so someone wouldn't, but he knew that was probably not going to happen.

Eli soon found her standing by her locker.

"Hey," he greeted Kate as he covered the mustache with his hand.

"Hi," she replied slowly. "Why are you covering your mouth like that?"

"Don't ask."

"I just did."

"Then please don't ask again."

"Okay. I tried calling you a million times this weekend."

"Sorry, I was busy."

"Ah, _busy_," Kate nodded with a smirk. "Talking to Clare all weekend I'm guessing."

"You're good," Eli said being somewhat impressed.

"It's not exactly a mystery; you've been trying to spend more time with her since the auditions and stuff."

"She deserves it," he said with his hand still covering his mouth.

"Uh . . . the whole almost kiss thing from rehearsal is still on the DL, right?"

"Yeah," he reassured.

"Good. I'm sorry, I have to know," Kate began. "What is up with you?"

He knew Kate was going to find out soon, so he knew it would be easier to get it over with now rather than later in the middle of class.

"Don't laugh, okay?"

"Alright," Kate said, sounding very intrigued.

Grunting in defeat, he lowered his hand to reveal his mustache.

"Um . . . well . . . that explains why you covered your mouth."

"I know it looks stupid, it was a dare and I'll never grow it again, so you may go ahead and laugh."

Kate just simply shrugged.

"It's not that bad actually."

"Spare me. I know it's stupid-looking."

"No I'm serious. Are the other two giving you a hard time?" she assumed.

"A bit," Eli answered. "But it's no big deal."

"Yeah, I'm sure they're just poking fun at you," Kate reassured him.

"If you can call it that," he shrugged as the two of them started walking down the hall. Eli noticed a few people in his grade looking at him oddly. Why was everyone making such a big deal about a mustache?

"Do they call you Hitler or something?"

"Are you saying my mustache looks like Hitler's?"

"No," she told him with a laugh. "I mean Hitler is known for that mustache he used to have."

"Well, they don't call me that . . . but Clare calls me Fluffy now."  
"You mean like that one giant three-headed dog in the first _Harry Potter _book?"

"Yeah, and Adam named it Richard."

"I'm not commenting on that," Kate stated.

"Oh well, if Adam tried to grow a mullet and if Clare got a perm I'd probably tease them too."

"So you're good?"

"Yeah," he answered. "But I still want this day to be over with soon so I can shave it off."

"If it helps, I think it works for you."

"Really?" he asked in amazement.

"Yeah," Kate answered. "And it makes you look older; you can definitely pass for a twenty-year-old now."

"Cool," he grinned. "I'll remember to grow it out again if I ever need to look twenty."

()()

Kate had to go see the guidance counselor about SAT Prep, so Eli walked to Calculus alone. He took his usual seat in the back and waited for class to start. Adam came in and sat next in the desk to the right of Eli.

"Hey Brad Pitt," he greeted.

Eli rolled his eyes. Were the jests ever going to end?

"Come on," Adam chuckled. "He had that _exact_ same mustache in _Inglourious Basterds_; it's a compliment."

"One, don't compare me to Brad Pitt _ever_ again. Two, stop with the jokes."

"Sorry. You know I'm just messing with you. And Clare and I didn't mean touch any nerves this morning."

"I know, it's fine," Eli assured him. "But please cease the quips."

"Deal," he accepted.

They soon started working on that day's assignment, but it wasn't long until the class started talking to their friends in there with them. Adam turned to Eli and began speaking to him as soon as he finished the second equation.

"Has Kate said anything about Richard?"

"We are _not _naming it Richard!" Eli restated.

"Fine! Has she said anything about the stache?"

"Actually, she said it worked for me."

"She thinks it _works _for you?"

"Yeah, and she didn't laugh at me like you and Clare did."

"We were just kidding."

"I know, but it's nice to not be laughed at."

"Ah man," Adam groaned. "Here we go again."

"What?"

"She's at it again."

Eli sighed in exasperation before turning to Adam.

"Did I just give you more evidence so you could try to prove that Kate likes me or something?"

"If you can call it that."

"You said if grew this stupid thing you'll shut-up about the theories!" Eli reminded him with frustration.

"No, you grew it so you can prove to me that you aren't going to flirt with her," he reminded. "I never said I'd shut-up about her."

"What does this thing have to do with Kate?" he asked pointing at his upper lip.

"Dude, that thing on your face looks like a very hairy fungus," Adam said bluntly. "No one in their right mind would say it looks good on you."

"So you're saying she's pretending to like it so I'll feel like I can talk to her because she's the only one who doesn't laugh at my facial hair?"

"As ridiculous as it sounds, yes."

"Adam, it is time to let this whole Kate thing go. Alright?" he almost shouted.

"I'm not letting it go until I'm sure everything is going to go back to normal."

"Things haven't been normal?" Eli asked blankly.

"Dear God, Goldsworthy! Get your head out of the freaking gutter!"

"Did I miss something?"

"It's a mystery to me how you can be so thick sometimes."

"Please just tell what the hell you are talking about!"

"Mr. Goldsworthy. Mr. Torres. You'd better be working," their Calculus teacher scolded at them.

Adam lowered his voice, but he didn't soften his stern tone.

"Think about this. You and Clare have been fighting like crazy since she got here."

"You've stated that before. And Clare and I haven't fought in weeks."

"But have you noticed that the second you guys don't fight so much, you and Clare don't spend much time together outside Degrassi?"

"That's because I was helping Kate with her lines."

"And how convenient is it that she asks you of all people to help her?"

"She's known me the longest, so she's obviously going to feel more comfortable around me when she rehearses."

"That's what you think. I think since her first plan to break you and Clare up by getting you two to constantly fight failed, she decided to come in at a new angle. In this case, she's asking you to spend so much more time with her so you drift away from Clare. It's sabotage."

"You say sabotage, I say coincidence."

"It is sabotage and it is slowly working and only you can stop it."

"So her wanting to spend time with me is all part of her master plan?"

"I believe so."

"Who in their right mind would go through all that trouble just to break-up two people?"

"No one, which is why I think she's not in her right mind?"

"Now you're saying she's a sociopath?"

"I'm saying she's obsessive."

"Adam, have you been reading those psychology books again?"

"Excuse me, but if I want to be a psychiatrist one day I have to get studying. But this isn't about me; this is about you, Kate, and Clare."

"Then you should butt out since you aren't involved," Eli snapped.

"I'm sorry, but what I'm witnessing is making that very difficult."

Eli just shook his head and looked back down at his worksheet. Adam took a deep breath to calm down before continuing.

"Like I've said before, I care about you and Clare and I don't want you guys to break-up."

"We're fine! The two of us spent an amazing Saturday together and we're going to start hanging-out more."

"Good," he sighed in relief. "You two keep that love going."

"Don't worry bro. No one is going to stop what Clare and I have."

"I hope you're right Eli," Adam said.

_And I really hope I'm wrong_, he told himself in his head.

()()

Clare and Adam didn't tease Eli anymore about his mustache anymore that day . . . at least they didn't intentionally. There were a few instances when Adam referenced it as Richard and Clare called Eli Fluffy once or twice, but he was a good sport about the whole thing. He shrugged it off and laughed with them; he figured that it was going to be gone by tomorrow, so he allowed them to have their fun. Although he didn't mind the jokes, it was a relief to him that Kate wasn't laughing at all.

The Drama Club met after school like they did every Tuesday. Clare was backstage preparing a few bouquets of faux flowers while Adam and Eli were in the Art Room painting the swords. She thought she was alone back there, but she soon heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Hey," Kate greeted her.

"Hi," Clare replied, trying to remember the promise she made to herself about being nice to Kate.

"Where are the guys?"

"Art Room," she answered.

"So it's just you here?"

"Yep; just me and the flowers. Why aren't you with the rest of the cast?"

"They're rehearsing the first scene of the first act, so I'm not needed right now. Do you mind if I hang-out with you for a while?"

"No problem," Clare shrugged.

Kate took a seat beside Clare and observed her work for a few minutes.

"What are these for?"

"I'm not really sure," she answered honestly. "Hannigan just said to prepare them."

"Hu. Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Is everything alright with you and Eli?"

"Yeah," Clare nodded. She didn't appreciate Kate prying into her personal life, but she knew she didn't need to be upset. Eli gave her all the faith she needed on Saturday and Kate wasn't going to knock it down today.

"Good," she grinned. "I'm glad."

"Why do you ask?" she asked; she was remotely curious as to why Kate questioned her about her and Eli's relationship when everything was going so well.

"I don't know; he just seemed a bit upset today," she told her.

"About what?" Clare asked immediately.

"You and Adam teasing him about his mustache."

Clare's heart sank. She didn't mean to make him feel bad, but she had no idea that he was going to be so offended. Did that mean all the laughing he did with her and Adam that day was forced and he was really hiding how hurt he was?

Clare thought that Eli would understand she and Adam were kidding and he would either shrug it off or laugh with them, but she supposed she was wrong. She never wanted to hurt his feelings and she felt terrible that she did.

After Drama, Clare decided to go and make things right with her boyfriend. She knocked on Eli's door at six o'clock and waited for him to answer. If what Kate said about Eli was true, then she had to make it up to him. She didn't mean to hurt his feelings in anyway or make him feel stupid for growing the mustache in the first place.

The familiar face of Eli soon greeted her. The mustache was gone and he was back to normal appearance wise.

"I see you've killed Richard," she said.

"Here to tease some more?" he asked with a smirk.

"I've actually came to apologize about that."

"I knew you were just kidding around," Eli shrugged.

The two of them sat on the front step. Clare couldn't tell if Eli was being sincerely honest or not; he could easily be telling her what she hoped was the truth, but she knew that wasn't worth hiding how antagonized he felt.

"Kate told me you were upset."

"I've got to stop talking to her so much," Eli chuckled to himself.

Clare, who was still trying to not be affected by Kate, just disregarded his laugh and continued.

"I didn't realize we were hurting your feelings."

"No, I was fine. She just exaggerated a bit."

"Huh?" Clare mumbled to herself. In a blink of an eye, Kate was back in bad books. She just oh-so conveniently exaggerated the truth to Clare about Eli's feelings. Something wasn't settling right with her and she started to get suspicious. Before she started forming theories in her head as to why Kate did this, Eli started talking to her.

"I don't know why she thought I was extremely upset. I laughed at myself every time I looked in the mirror, so I don't blame you guys for laughing at me."

"Well, I'm still sorry that I did."

"Don't worry about it," he grinned at her.

Clare scooted closer to him so their sides were touching and so her left leg was against his right.

"Do you think you'll ever grow it back?" she asked.

"I don't know; it made me look a bit sexy," Eli said cockily.

Clare chuckled as she wrapped her arms around his torso.

"I think you look just as sexy without it as you do with it."

"Is that code for 'Eli, never grow a mustache again'?"

"_May_be," Clare confessed slowly.

Eli let out a laugh and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Okay then, I won't grow a second Richard."

"No Richard II," Clare agreed. "I thought you didn't want to name it."

"Well, it's gone now so I don't see the harm."

"Does this mean I can still call you Fluffy?" she asked hopefully.

Eli playfully rolled his eyes.

"Only if I can still call you Piglet on occasion," he compromised. "Agreed?"

"Agreed," Clare smiled before she put her lips to his.

"I love you," he told her as the kiss broke.

"I love you," she promised him as well.

They sat on the fronts steps for another forty-five minutes talking and being in each other's arms. Unfortunately, their time was ticking down and Clare soon had to leave.

"It's nearly seven; I should be getting home," Clare said to him regrettably.

"I'll give you a ride."

The two of them walked to Morty and soon started driving down the street to Clare's home.

"Doing for anything for Halloween next week?" Eli asked.

"Don't know yet," Clare shrugged. "I was thinking about going to the Halloween carnival that the Student Council is hosting just to see what it's all about and stay for an hour or two. Adam and Kate are probably going to go as well, so I was thinking of hanging-out with them." She tried to keep the venom in her voice to a minimum when she mentioned Kate's name. "Why do you ask?"

"I was thinking that we could go together for a few hours then afterwards you can come over and we can watch a few scary movies," he invited hopefully.

"I'll have to see what my dad says, but I'm in," she accepted. "Are you going to dress-up for the carnival or are you going to be yourself?"

"You'll have to wait and see," he said mysteriously with a raised eyebrow.

"Then I guess you'll have to do the same," Clare said, who now had no intention of telling Eli who or what she was going as.

"I like surprises," Eli grinned flirtatiously.

Clare smiled as they pulled up in front of her house. She put her lips to his and he reciprocated the kiss goodbye.

"Goodnight . . . Fluffy," she added with a smirk while she climbed out of the hearse.

"See you tomorrow _Piglet_," he retaliated as he bore a satisfied grin.

She stuck her tongue out at him before walking up the path to her house.

* * *

"_All my complaints shrink to nothing_

_I'm ashamed of all my somethings_

_She's glad for one day of comfort_

_Only because she has suffered"_

_~"Fully Alive" by Flyleaf_

* * *

Yeah, my best friend thought of the mustache scenario, named it Richard, and asked me to call Eli "Fluffy". Don't ask why she wanted me to put these things in; it's complicated. Thank you to my sister who copy and pasted a picture of Eli from the web and created a mustache for him so I had an idea of what he would look like. For the record, every time I looked at it I cracked-up.

Good news, I'm not taking a break from this story, but updates probably won't be as frequent (but hopefully that'll change). I'm going to have a lot of fun with the Halloween chapter, but I need some help from you guys; my sister and I have come up with a few ideas on who/what Kate should go to the carnival as, but I need some help deciding. Go to my profile page and vote on the poll that's up there please (by the way, Eli's, Adam's, and Clare's have already been decided). Review!


	19. Devastation and Reform

Thank you amazing people for both reviewing and voting on the poll! BTW: for those who saw the poll options, did you notice the "theme" I had going? I reread a few chapters and I saw some grammar mistakes, left out words, etc. and I apologize for those. I'll try not to do that anymore, but if I do I apologize ahead of time. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the media mentioned in this chapter (and all other chapters for that matter).

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

Devastation and Reform

"Tis the day of the scary, mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha-ha," Adam sang as he parodied "Deck the Halls".

"Happy Halloween to you too," Clare greeted as she and Eli emerged out of Morty on that Friday morning.

"Or, as the people in the old days called it, All Hallows Eve. On this day the Ancient Celts believed the dead could return to Earth," Eli informed. He wrapped his arm around Clare's shoulders as the wind started to blow a bit harder. "But the Mexicans call it Día de Los Muertos, AKA the Day of the Dead; although it's not really celebrated on October 31st, people still associate it with Halloween since the days are close together and death is around."

"Do you know everything about Halloween?" Adam inquired as they walked into Degrassi.

"Basically," he nodded.

"He told me the history of the jack-o-lantern on the way here," Clare said as they walked to their lockers. "And he informed me as to why people trick-or-treat."

"How do you know all this stuff?" Adam asked as he rummaged through his locker.

"Research," Eli responded as if it was obvious.

"Well, you're definitely more dedicated to it then I am," he admitted. "Are we still going to the carnival tonight?"

"Yeah, but Eli and I aren't probably going to stay the whole time," Clare said as she moved her jacket to her locker.

"Let me guess, you guys arranged a Halloween scary movie date," a new voice said . . . a voice that was like nails on a chalkboard to Clare's ears. Kate was soon standing by Adam as she joined in on the conversation.

Clare was still unhappy with Kate for giving her false information about Eli's feelings last week, but she knew it wasn't worth the fuss. She decided to swallow her pride one more time and put it behind her . . . but she wasn't necessarily fond of the idea.

"You can put it that way," Eli nodded as he wrapped his arms around Clare's waist after she closed her locker. She grinned slightly as he pulled her into his chest.

"Well, I hope you two are on your best behavior," Kate said; her voice sounded a bit harsh. She cleared her throat in an attempt to cover it up. "I'm going to go on ahead to class."

Without another word she made her way down the hall.

"What was that about?" Clare asked.

"No clue," Eli answered.

"Oi," Adam muttered to himself, obviously annoyed that Eli didn't see why she was upset; Clare heard him and gave him a look and he understood immediately that he should let it go for now. "I mean . . . oh boy, I have to go talk to see someone about something."

He left the two alone. Eli understood that Adam thought of a reason why Kate left them so abruptly and that reason was because of him being so flirtatious towards Clare. Once again refusing to believe Adam's opinions, he went on with his life as usual. He loosened his grip on Clare's waist so she could turn around. His hands were locked on the small of her back and she cupped her hands around his elbows.

"So how long do you want to me to stay tonight?" she asked.

"How long is your dad letting you stay out?"

"Believe it or not, he trusts the two of us enough now so he said I can stay out as late as I want as long as I'm at your house, we don't have sex, and I call every now and then to let him know I'm okay."

"Well, in that case, the carnival starts at five and ends at ten, but we'll probably stay till seven. It will probably take us five or six hours to watch all the movies, so I was thinking you could stay till the end of eternity."

Clare smiled at him.

"I think my dad expects me to be home before sunrise though."

"Two o'clock then," he decided.

"Sounds good," she accepted.

"And I'll meet you here at five?" he made sure.

"Yep . . . if you can recognize me," Clare smiled flirtatiously.

"I'll recognize you, trust me."

"We'll see about that."

Clare looked around to see that the area was free of teachers before putting her lips to his for a few seconds. The bell rang overhead as they released the kiss.

"I'll see you soon," Eli promised as they let go of each other and walked away.

()()

It was a little before five and the carnival was about to begin. Eli was already standing on the steps outside Degrassi. He was in his costume; he was wearing a black robe, fake glasses with circular rims, and a red lightning bolt scar painted on his forehead. He waited patiently for Clare, Kate, and Adam, but it was starting to get cold outside and he figured that once the doors opened he would just wait for them inside.

Eli waited another ten minutes when he saw Adam get dropped-off by Mrs. Torres. His hair was pushed back while he wore a pair of Ray-Bans with black pants, a heavy black jacket, and army boots.

"Sarah Connor?" he greeted Eli in a deep voice with an Austrian accent.

Eli grinned at the uncanny impersonation.

"Hey there Terminator," he said.

"You couldn't play along for a second could you?" Adam sneered in his normal voice. "Who are you supposed to be?"

Eli, who thought who was supposed to be was fairly obvious, just stood there.

"Hello! Glasses? Scar? Robe?" he hinted, but Adam just shrugged and continued to look blank. "Dude, I'm Harry freaking Potter!"

"Oh, I see it now," Adam said. "For a second I thought you were just coming as a nerd."

More people started to arrive once the carnival began. Eli and Adam waited for the remainder of their group to arrive, but they were nowhere in sight. They saw a few people enter as they stood outside in the fifty-degree weather. They watched people dressed as Frankenstein, Luke Skywalker, Elvis, a clown, someone wearing the ghost mask and costume from the _Scream _movies, and at least sixty other various creatures and people pass enter before they finally decided to go in and wait for the girls inside.

The hallways were decorated with black and orange streamers while paper cut-outs of ghosts, black cats, and jack-o-lanterns were taped on the lockers. They finally reached the gym when they saw all the booths for all kinds of games, contests, and food. Music was playing, so a few people were dancing.

Eli and Adam waited by the entrance for the others, but they weren't visible.

"It's a quarter after," Adam informed Eli. "Are you sure they're still coming?"

"I don't know," Eli said before pulling out his cell phone. "I'll call Clare."

He dialed her number and it didn't take long for her to answer.

"Hello there, Mister Potter," she greeted in a British accent.

"Hey – wait, how did you know who I am?" he asked, being taken aback.

"I can see you," Clare replied in her usual voice.

Eli looked around to see anyone talking on a cell phone or if he could see her anywhere. No luck came to him.

"Where are you?"

"I'm in the gym. I'm guessing Adam's supposed to be the Terminator," she assumed.

"Yeah," he said. "I don't see you anywhere."

"I thought you said you'd be able to recognize me," she teased.

"Well, I guess I was wrong," he sighed in defeat.

"Since you admitted that I'll be there in a few minutes," Clare chuckled.

"Alright," Eli accepted before hanging-up his phone. "Clare's here."

"I could tell."

Adam didn't really care where Kate was so he decided to not press the matter. But it was Halloween and he knew that if she was planning anything tonight would be the perfect to put it into action. He was going to be sure nothing was going to happen even if he had to stop the plan himself.

He stepped out in the hall to wait for Kate. Eli stood there alone and skimmed the room for Clare, but he couldn't tell who she was. He had no clue that she was such a master of disguise. He looked to his right when he saw someone who he thought was Clare. He squinted through the glasses, but he still couldn't be sure.

"_Boo_!"

Eli jumped and turned to the left. He heard Clare's chuckle behind the white ghost mask that was from the _Scream_ movies.

"I didn't know you were so easily scared," she kidded with him.

"I wasn't scared."

Although he couldn't see her face, Eli could tell that she rolled her eyes.

"Kate's still not here?" she asked him.

"Not yet; Adam's waiting for her in the hall."

"Okay," Clare accepted, trying to build up walls so she didn't have to feel her anger towards Kate. "And my dad is still letting me stay out till two."

"I now officially dub this the best Halloween _ever_," Eli declared. "I get to hang-out with my amigos, I get to spend most of the night with you, and I get to see Adam dressed-up as Arnold Schwarzenegger."

Clare pulled the mask off her face and breathed in some air.

"Yeah, nothing says Halloween like Adam saying lines from blockbusters," she smiled.

Out of nowhere, the man himself ran to the couple.

"Hey guys," Adam greeted. "So, I just called Kate and she's on her way here, but she says she'll come find us. But I'm going to wait for her out here for a bit, so I'll find you guys when she gets here."

"Okay," Eli said before Adam left the gym again. "Do you want to see what's here?"

"Lead the way, Harry," Clare smiled before she pulled the mask back on.

The two of them walked over to the booths and looked around. They passed booths for games, raffles, and contests. Neither of them felt like participating in any of the activities due to the crowd surrounding them so they both decided to stand to the side.

"I haven't seen Kate or Adam come in yet," Clare stated as she took off her mask once again. "Do you think she's still coming?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

A few seconds later, Adam entered the gym and Kate followed behind him. Clare's jaw dropped when she saw Kate's costume. She was wearing a long blond wig, bright red lipstick, black leggings, and a shimmering golden corset. The corset had cones over the area wear her breasts were. It plainly obvious that she was . . .

"Madonna!" Eli exclaimed when she and Adam finally arrived at the destination.

"How did you know?" she as she gestured to the cones.

Adam resisted temptation to roll his eyes. When he saw Kate enter the hall with the outfit, he knew this was the beginning of another scheme to get together with Eli. Unfortunately he didn't know how he could stop her from entering the gym while she was dressed this way.

"And you're Harry Potter, of course," she guessed. "Adam's the Terminator . . . who are you supposed to be Clare?"

"Ghost face," she answered blankly as she held up the mask.

"Nice."

"So why did you choose to be Madonna?"

"It just seemed like to be the right occasion," Kate grinned simply.

Clare noticed the glimmer in Kate's eye. She knew why Kate was really wearing this outfit and it wasn't to celebrate the 31st of October; she was trying to catch someone's attention . . . Eli's attention.

"I thought you didn't like Madonna," Clare mentioned as she recalled a conversation they had before her flirtations began.

"Well, I don't really, but like I said it's the right occasion."

_Yeah, the right occasion to try and distract my boyfriend_, Clare sneered in her head.

Adam and Clare, who were obviously sharing similar revulsions about Kate's attire and having agnate thoughts on her plan to attract Eli to her, tried to keep their feelings hidden so they wouldn't cause any scenes.

Unfortunately, just like at the Dot a few weeks ago, Clare soon began to feel like a third-wheel again and she was sure Adam was feeling like a fourth. She knew that it was unintentional on Eli's part, but she still felt a sense of chagrin within her.

"I'll be right back," she told the guys before she made her way to the table that was selling refreshments. She paid for a cola, but she didn't return to the group. Instead she stood by the table that held the ballot box for best costume while trying to keep her cool. As she stood there, she saw Eli, Adam, and Kate socializing. However, Adam looked like he wanted to put a bullet through his head . . . or Kate's.

Clare couldn't believe that Kate showed up dressed like that. It was obvious what she was doing, but Clare tried not to be affected by it. She tried to keep all the positive things Eli to her in her head, but it was hard. She saw Kate flirting with Eli again in an eye-catching outfit, so it was difficult for her not to feel a bit of anger.

"Clare?"

Clare turned her head and saw Sadie walking towards her. Sadie was wearing the traditional witch's hat and gown with a lot of heavy eye make-up.

"Hi," Clare greeted with a small grin. "Where's Dave?"

"Hanging-out with Connor and Wesley," she answered. "Why are you standing here all by yourself? I thought you'd be spending time with Eli."

"I was . . . but . . ." She trailed off before she pointed her head in the direction of Adam, Eli, and Kate. Adam was rolling his eyes at something as Eli and Kate laughed. Sadie's eyes widened as she saw the cones over Kate's breasts.

"That's a sight."

Sadie, who was in the play with Kate as Juliet's nurse, was surprised to see her dressed so boldly. She thought Kate was a bit shy and reserved, but apparently she was quite wrong. She also saw the huge smile on her face and how much she was talking.

Clare was now beginning to see who Kate really was and she was less than thrilled with it. She was a lying, flirtatious, deceiving woman who blinded people of the truth.

"'_I'm not much of an actress_,'" Clare quoted as she remembered what Kate told her on her first day of Degrassi. "Bull crap."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. If I ask you a question, can you be honest with me?"

"Sure," Sadie answered.

"Do you think Kate likes Eli?"

Sadie observed Eli and Kate a bit more before turning back to Clare.

"It's not important if she likes him or not; what matters are his feelings for _you_. I see the way things are with you two. And I'm a pretty good judge when it comes to relationships and I say that you and Eli are _definitely_ in for the long run."

"Okay. Thanks Sadie," Clare said although her spirits were barely lifted.

"Anytime," she smiled before walking off.

With Sadie's words in mind, she was about to walk back to her friends (and Kate) when . . .

"Something on your mind?" another voice said.

Clare turned her head and saw K.C (whose costume was a pirate) walking towards her. She turned away from him and continued to watch Eli, Adam, and Kate.

"What do you want?" she said harshly. She already frustrated with one person and she didn't want to deal with another.

"This is like the second time in two months you have not been pleased to see me," he stated sounding a bit surprised.

"Well can you blame me after what you said about Eli at the party last month?"

"Hey, I just go by what I see," K.C said.

"And you should really learn to keep your opinions to yourself," she snapped.

K.C looked in the direction Clare was staring and saw Kate's outfit and how flirtatious she was being with Eli.

"I notice that chick and Eli are getting very friendly with each other."

"What did I just say?" she yelled as she turned back to face him.

K.C ignored her and continued.

"Is she a friend of yours?"

"I don't want to talk about this K.C!" she demanded angrily.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"He's not interested in her," she informed him before he started making assumptions.

"I never said he was . . . but . . ."

"Don't go there," Clare warned.

"I tried to tell you."

"About what?" she asked angrily.

"Eli," he said nonchalantly. "I told you he didn't really care."

"You're wrong!" Clare shouted. "He cares about me!"

"Look at how he's acting with her!"

"They're friends! And he's a nice guy so he's going to act that way!" she defended.

"You're living in denial!" K.C shouted. "I'm trying to protect you Clare!"

"You don't have to! I don't want you to! You're with Jenna and I'm with Eli! Just leave me alone and stay out of my life!"

"Listen to me! It's only a matter of time until he leaves you for –!"

"He's – not – you!" she growled through gritted teeth.

"But I know how he's thinking. I've been on that side of the relationship before, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember! And I actually thank you for that, because I never would've met Eli otherwise!"

"He's going to leave you soon, Clare! I can see it!"

Fuming with anger, Clare thrust the rest of her soda into K.C's face. As he rubbed it out of his eyes, she walked out of the gym and into the hall. She took a few deep breaths as she leaned against a locker and tried to forget everything he just said. This was a new low even for him.

He crossed the line. What right did he possibly have to judge Eli? K.C and her weren't in love when they were together, but she and Eli are now so how did he know what Eli was thinking?

She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down. She didn't want anyone to see her tear-filled eyes if they ventured into the hall, so she pulled her mask back on. She felt a few teardrops fall out of her eyes and trickle down her cheeks. As K.C's words echoed in her ears, she tried to block them out by thinking of every kind thing Eli had ever said about her.

"_I love you with all my heart . . . you're the one for me . . . there is no doubt in my mind that you're the greatest girl I've ever known . . . I wouldn't trade you for anyone in the world . . . I've never been happier than when I am with you . . . if I could, I would go back in time and meet you, get to know you, and fall in love with you all over again . . . I know that what we have is special and that it's right . . . I don't want my perfect mate to be anyone but you . . . you're perfect for me._"

"Are you okay?"

Clare looked up and saw Eli coming towards her. She was starting to feel better as she replayed all his sweet words in her head, but K.C's harsh words still haunted her.

"Yeah, I just needed some air."

Eli noticed that Clare's voice was rough. Being slightly concerned, he gently pulled the ghost face mask off her head. He was heartbroken to see her eyes red and the remains of tears on her cheeks.

"Clare?" he sighed tenderly.

"Seriously, I'm fine."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying," she lied as she wiped away the remaining tears on her face.

She promised Eli that she would be honest with him if anything like this bothered her, but she didn't want the rest of this night to be filled with drama, so she decided to tell him another day.

"I'm just . . . it's been a long day," she stalled. "The tests, the quizzes, the homework, stress, and everything just got to me."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't worry about me," she said. "I'll be okay."

"Do you want to go ahead and leave?" he asked as he took one of her hands.

"We've only been here for forty-five minutes," she stated; although she didn't want to stay here much longer, she didn't want to end any fun he was having.

"So?" he shrugged. "That just means we'll be alone an extra hour."

Clare wanted to get away from Kate and K.C as soon as possible; she was so angry that she didn't even want be in the same room as them.

"Do _you_ want to go?" she asked just to be sure she wasn't ruining his night.

"In all honesty, Halloween carnivals aren't exactly my thing, so I'll go whenever."

"Then let's get out of here."

"Alright," Eli said sounding a bit relieved. "Let's just go tell Terminator and Madonna that we're going."

They returned to the gym and explained to the duo that they were going to depart.

"Leaving so soon?" Kate said as she tried to hide her disappointment.

"Yeah sorry," Clare said as she began to feel the pain slowly disappear for the night.

"Well, I guess we'll see you guys Monday," Adam said with a grin; he was relieved that he wouldn't have to watch Kate flirt with his best friend for the rest of the night.

"See you guys," Eli said before wrapping his arm around Clare's waist and they left the gym.

()()

Clare was wearing jeans and a t-shirt under her costume so she just had to take it off once they got to Eli's house and she was ready for the rest of the evening. Eli was getting changed in his room and grabbing a selection of scary movies while Clare made some popcorn and got some drinks. She arrived in the living room with the bowl of popcorn and two cans of soda at the same time as Eli.

"Alright, what tale of horror do you want to watch first?" he said as he stepped into the living room with a small stack of movies. "We got _Bram Stoker's Dracula_, _Frankenstein_, _Silence of the Lambs_, and_ Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning_."

"Hmm . . . _Frankenstein_," she decided.

"Starting out with a classic," Eli approved as he put it in.

They both sat down on the couch as the movie began. It was barely on for five minutes when Eli wrapped his arm around Clare's shoulders. She scooted closer to him and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Don't expect me to get scared and jump into your lap," she said to him with a smile a few minutes later.

"Alright," he accepted.

He turned his head down to look at her.

"Only if you don't expect me to not kiss you at all," he whispered to her.

It took a second for Clare to figure out what he meant, but she couldn't help but blush slightly when she did.

"I guess I'll just have to expect it then."

She pulled her head off his shoulder and looked at him. They both exchanged a grin before they leaned in.

"Trick-or-treat," he said before they finally kissed.

* * *

"_I pull my heart out, reconstruct_

_And in the end it's nothing but_

_The shell of what I had when I first started"_

_~"Devastation and Reform" by Relient K_

* * *

I know I've said this a million times, but believe me when I say that this story is about to get _very_ interesting! I kid you guys not, something _huge_ is coming within the next few chapters (good or bad kind of huge I'm not saying). Chapter Twenty is in the works so it should be up in a few days. REVIEWS PLEASE!


	20. The Flood

Thank you for reviewing again everyone! I'm glad that people are still reading even though it's summer and I'm sure guys are busy; I feel so touched when you take the time to read and review. I love you guys! Virtual hug time!

I can't believe I'm already on the twentieth chapter of this story and I've been working on it for five months! I'm so happy right now and I really can't wait to post all the good stuff that's coming soon. Surprisingly, we haven't reached the good stuff yet . . . MWHAHAHA!

Disclaimer: I don't own – it's been twenty chapters, I think you guys get the idea!

* * *

Chapter Twenty

The Flood

Clare rummaged through her locker on Monday morning. She put away her French textbook when she felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around her waist.

"Hey there beautiful," Eli's voice greeted her.

Clare felt a small smile come to her lips.

"Hi," she replied as she closed her locker.

"May I escort you to your next class?" he asked chivalrously as he placed his arm around her shoulder.

"You may," Clare permitted as they walked towards English. "And how are you doing today?"

"Well, I'm dating the greatest girl ever, the sun is shining, I'm dating the greatest girl ever, I'm finally passing French, and I'm dating the greatest girl ever, so I'm doing pretty well."

"Good," she smiled with a slight blush.

Clare's thoughts of K.C's accusations stirred up inside her countless times during the weekend, but she tried to block them out. She was fine during the remainder of her night with Eli, and she did begin to feel a bit down again during on Saturday, but on Sunday afternoon she began to reflect on everything K.C said on Halloween. Was it just a matter of time until Kate finally pulled Eli into her web? Was she going to take another drastic step to get his attention? Was this almost the end of him and Clare?

She tried not to think these things, but the thoughts continued to plague her.

"You okay?" Eli's voice asked her from a million miles away.

"Um . . . yeah," she lied. "I'm just suffering from the side-effects of Monday mornings."

"Sorry about that," he said to her.

"Oh well," she said. "Do you want to do something today after school?"

Eli, who had already made plans after school, felt a bit iniquitous when he knew he had to decline another date with Clare; the similar guilt he felt a month ago came back to him as he remembered what he nearly did with Kate that last time something like this happened.

"Sorry, but I'm busy," he apologized. "Maybe some other time?"

"Alright," she accepted as she tried not to sound a little depressed.

The two of them stepped into the classroom and walked to the back of the room to join Kate and Adam.

"Hey there you lovebirds," Adam greeted them.

"Oh Adam," Kate said under her breath as she rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry; I'm in a good mood today."

"Why?" Clare asked as she and Eli took their seats.

"Here it goes," Eli sighed in a mock-exasperation.

"Clare, my days of my mom driving me to school or taking the bus are behind me," Adam smiled triumphantly.

"Why's that?" she asked.

Adam pulled a key chain out of his pocket and revealed a new key.

"I finally got myself a car," he smiled.

"Nice," Clare congratulated his friend with a high-five.

Adam had been working at a video store almost every Saturday since the middle of summer and he was saving every paycheck he got for one thing and one thing only: a car.

"Silver Nissan Maxima 2003," he described. "It's used, but it goes so I'm not complaining."

"When did you get it?" Clare asked.

"Yesterday," he answered. "Now all I need to do is keep my job so I can pay for gas and insurance then it's smooth sailing on the open road. But enough about my awesome new ride; how was the rest of your Halloween?"

Eli and Clare exchanged an enticing look as they recalled the last few hours of their Halloween night. They made-out throughout half of _Frankenstein _and they cuddled as they watched _Dracula_ and _Silence of the Lambs_. However, while _Texas Chainsaw Massacre _played, they lied on the couch and teased each other's lips. They didn't stop the make-out session until the credits were over and they realized they ended up missing the whole movie . . . not that they minded.

"It was fine," Eli finally answered. "How was the rest of the carnival?"

"Good," Kate said with a mild bitterness in her voice. "But . . ."

"Half the football came at her when they saw the Madonna outfit. Not enjoyable to witness," Adam informed.

"Seriously?" Eli said in astonishment.

"Seriously," Kate replied. "Some of the faculty had to escort them out."

"That's insane," he said.

"And Adam here tried to help, but it was two versus eight so the odds weren't on our side."

_That's what you get_, Clare growled bitterly in her head.

Before any of them could continue their conversation, the class began. Miss Dawes explained to the class that they were starting the unit of poetry. She instructed them to write a poem with a format of their choice about any subject they wish and that they'll have to read it in front of the class the next day.

()()

"Do you want to hang-out?" Clare asked Adam as she walked up to him at his locker.

Adam was taken aback by the sudden request. He and Clare hardly ever had one-on-one time together; whenever they hung out it they were usually with Eli and it was just the three of them . . . well, the four of them since Kate came to Degrassi and become part of their group.

"Um . . . as touched as I am by the random invite, why are you asking?"

"Eli's busy and when was the last time you and I just spent time together?" she asked Adam at his locker.

"Good point," Adam accepted. "We can get started on that poetry assignment for English at the Dot."

"I'm in."

"To the car!" he announced.

They walked out of Degrassi and went to the parking lot. Adam led Clare to his car, which was parked on the other side of the lot. The silver Nissan was sitting there waiting to driven. There was not a bump, dent, or scratch in it.

"Sweet," Clare approved.

"I know right," Adam exclaimed. He was still getting over the fact that he had his own car that he bought with his own money. "Hop in."

She obeyed and they both climbed in the car. It was practically spotless inside, but Clare noticed all the CDs on the dashboard.

"I'm so jealous of you now," Clare admitted as he turned the engine on and "Remedy" by Seether started playing.

"Well, in a few months you'll get your license and you'll get a car."

"Hopefully, but I need to get a job soon. Are you going to give it a name like how Eli named Morty?" she asked as they drove off campus.

"Yep," Adam said as he put the car in gear. "But I can't decide whether I should call it Bruce Wayne or Han Solo. What do you think?"

"Hmm . . . it seems more like a Han Solo to me," she answered.

"Then Han Solo it is," he smiled as they drove towards the Dot. "Do you think you'll name your car once you get one?"

"I'm not sure yet," Clare said. "I need to get my license first."

"Baby steps, gotcha," Adam caught on. "So what kind of poem are you thinking of doing for English?"

"Probably an acrostic or a quatrain; how about you?"

"No clue."

A few minutes later Adam parked Han Solo in front of the Dot.

They were about to make their way to the entrance, but Clare halted when she looked at the window. She saw Eli and, to her complete and utter dismay, sitting across from him was Kate. They were looking at each other and talking. They didn't notice Clare standing out there even though she was right in front of the window. Kate was wearing a flirtatious grin on her face that was equivalent to the enticing look in her eyes.

"What's up?" Adam asked.

Clare nodded her head towards the window. Adam stood there and tried not to be too affected by what he saw for Clare's sake. Once again, he saw the fond looks the two were exchanging just like the ones at Drama a few weeks ago. He resisted everything in his body that told him to walk in there and slap Eli in the face. He hoped that the costume Kate wore on Halloween would eventually send up a red flag as to her suspected intentions, but apparently he was wrong.

"What are they doing here?" she demanded.

"That's not the question. The question is what are they doing here _together_?"

"I asked him if he wanted to hang-out, but he said he was busy. I didn't know busy meant spending time with _her_."

Clare didn't care if she was being a bit unreasonable. She was angry and hurt, so she felt the need to let out some frustration upon the world.

"I mean, if he was going to hang-out with Kate he could've just told me. I would've been fine with it."

"Would you?" Adam asked.

Clare groaned in frustration.

"Okay, probably not because of what she's been doing recently, but he still could've told me that he was hanging-out with her instead of him telling me he had to do something else. If he says things like that but he's really with her that's going to make he feel like I can't trust him and then . . ."

Then the worst thought hit her brain.

"You don't think he's . . . cheating, do you?" she asked Adam.

"I doubt it," Adam reassured. "He loves you and he's told me a million times that he doesn't want to be with anyone else."

Clare looked back to the Dot window. Eli and Kate still hadn't noticed their presence. Although she knew in her heart that Eli wasn't seeing someone else behind her back, the sight of the two of them sitting in the restaurant together made her cringe. Adam, thankfully, read her mind.

"Come on," he said. "We can work on the assignment at my house."

()()

Adam and Clare arrived at the Torres's home and went to his room. Clare was sitting on his bed while he sat at his desk. Clare tried countless times to do her homework, but she was too shaken, heated, and confused that she couldn't even think of school or anything else. After the umpteenth attempt to write a poem, she threw down her pencil and sighed in defeat.

"You okay?" he asked, although he knew that was probably the most inconsiderate question he could ask at this point in time.

"She really likes him, doesn't she?" Clare said.

"Seems that way," he shrugged regrettably.

"How could I not see it? I should've known something was up after what happened with K.C. All the signs are there. How could I be so stupid to not expect this?"

"Calm down," Adam instructed gently. "We have no proof that he has feelings for her and, as God as my witness, he will have feelings for you until the day he dies."

Adam, who recalled the flirting Eli did a few weeks ago and today, still kept his mouth shut about it around Clare. She was stressed out enough about Kate as it was, so he decided to bring it up at a better time. When that time would be though, he had no clue.

"Adam, do you think she'll . . . she'll win and he'll start getting feelings for her and then he'll break-up with me for her?"

"Listen, other than you, Eli's my best friend and I spend almost every day with him. Most of the time he talks about you and all the other times I can tell he's missing you. There is no doubt in my mind that his feelings for you and they aren't going away anytime soon."

"But . . .?" she coaxed.

Adam shrugged and thought of how to put this kindly.

"But . . . we should keep an eye of them just in case Kate does something extreme."

Clare looked down at the blank piece of paper in front of her and shook her head.

"One of us needs to talk to him," she stated as she looked back up at Adam.

"I've tried telling him that Kate likes him, but he doesn't believe me. He also thinks I'm crazy for thinking that she's flirting with him. We've gotten into a few disputes about it."

"Is that what your fights have been about?" she asked.

"Yeah," Adam said. "He never told you why we were so distant a few weeks ago?"

"No. All he ever said was that it was a complicated matter."

"Well, it's not so complicated. He probably just didn't want you getting ideas in your head by mentioning my problems with Kate."

"Too late," she muttered. "I was getting a few ideas of my own without your help."

Adam was usually optimistic about things, but this was just too much. He was watching one of his best friends being slowly eaten alive by fear and anxiety while the other one was not too far away without a clue about what was slipping away from him because of his ignorance. Unless Eli snapped out of this delusion that nothing was wrong soon, Adam knew that this was going to end in disaster.

"Do you think I should talk to him?" Clare spoke-up at last.

"I think you should. He'll probably believe you more than me."

"But what am I supposed to say to him? 'Kate's flirting with you, stop hanging-out with her'? I don't want to be one of those girlfriends who controls who her boyfriend can hang-out with."

"Just explain how this is making you feel," Adam instructed. "He'll understand and feel sympathetic then he'll tell Kate to stop flirting. It's foolproof."

"What if he doesn't believe me? Or what if he does but Kate still keeps flirting with him?"

"Then we'll take drastic measures; we'll duct tape him to a chair, tell him what's going on over and over again until he finally realizes we're right, and if he doesn't believe us after that we'll destroy his CDs."

Clare laughed lightly for a second, but not even Adam's joke was able to suppress her anguish.

"Okay, I'll talk to him tomorrow," she accepted.

* * *

"_I can't believe the drama that I'm in_

_The flood is getting closer"_

_~"The Flood" by Escape the Fate_

* * *

Thank you (again) to my sister who helped me think of the names for Adam's car. The next few chapters (including this one) are probably going to be shorter than usual, but they are going to be legend-wait for it-DARY! The chapters should get back to normal size soon, but I'm not making any promises. I can't wait to post the next few chapters . . . hehehe. Reviews please everyone!

BTW: If you want to see what Eli looked like with the mustache from a few chapters ago, go to YouTube and search for "TurboWiz70 If We Hold On Together Vlog 1" and the video will have a picture in it.


	21. Heaven's Calling

Good thing about summer vacation: a lot of free time and you can stay till 4 a.m. until you can't keep your eyes open any longer. That's how I was able to write this chapter in less than 72 hours. Thank you for all the reviews, adding me to favorites, putting me on alert, the whole nine-yards! I'm glad to know that I keep you guys interested. ;) I appreciate all feedback you've given me.

Okay, we're finally at the part of the story that I've been dying to write since I thought of the plot. Updates should be constant for the next few weeks unless I get writer's block (ugh!) or something like that happens. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own . . . dang, I forgot the name . . . Degrassi! That's it!

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One

Heaven's Calling

All Adam wanted to know at this point was when Clare was going to talk to Eli about what they saw at the Dot yesterday. He drove Han Solo to Degrassi and he saw Morty and Eli park next to him a few seconds later. He emerged from the car at the same time Eli got out of his hearse.

"Hey Adam," Eli greeted as they made their way towards the school.

"Hey," he replied. He tried to keep the bitterness in his voice to a minimum, but the anger leaked through the less than friendly greeting. He was so angry at his best friend that he couldn't even look him in the eye.

"What's up with you?" Eli asked as he noticed Adam's odd behavior.

"I just have a feeling that it's going to be a _long_ week," he said as they entered the school.

"Why do you think that?"

Adam resisted temptation to roll his eyes; the only thing that was keeping him from exploding right now was Clare's promise to talk to Eli so he could be brought back to reality.

"No idea," he lied.

They walked down the hall and it wasn't long until they saw Clare sitting on a bench along the wall. She was trying to think of how she could explain her concerns to Eli. She was up thinking about it all night, but she still couldn't figure out what to say.

Adam figured that Clare wanted this conversation to be private, so he made up some excuse to leave Eli alone. As Adam left, Eli walked towards Clare and took a seat next to her.

"Good morning," he greeted her casually.

She merely grinned at him before looking at the ground again.

"Are you alright?" he asked caringly.

It was now or never; she had to tell him what was bothering her whether or not she knew how she was going to say it.

"What were you doing yesterday?" she asked. "When you said we couldn't hang-out, you said it was because you were busy, and I would like to know where you were."

Although Eli didn't see how this was relevant, he decided to tell her.

"I went by the Dot to meet this tenth grader who I tutor in English . . . although the little bastard never showed up," he added to himself.

_Convenient_, she sneered in her mind.

"Did you agree to meet Kate there?" she spat-out.

"What?" he asked being taken aback.

Clare took a breath and tried not to yell at him, but the anger that she kept inside her this whole time was finally emerging out of her.

"Adam and I saw the two of you yesterday. We were hanging-out and we went by the Dot. We saw you and it looked like you were on a date or something."

"A date?" he repeated, being taken aback that that thought crossed her mind.

"Yes," she nodded.

"Clare, I was waiting for that guy to show up and Kate just came in and we started talking and hanging-out. We were just hanging-out."

She was stunned. What he said was not only logical, but also probable. What was she thinking for even considering the idea that he went on a date with another girl? Eli wouldn't do that; he was kind, sweet, considerate, and, although he was somewhat dim-witted for not seeing what Kate was doing, she knew that he would always remain faithful. She felt so guilty for considering those thoughts.

"I am such a bitch," she muttered to herself, but Eli heard her.

"No you're not," he tried to reassure.

"Yes, I really am."

"You are the kindest person I know. Why would you think of yourself that way?"

She turned to him and hoped that nothing she said would result in a heated argument. They hadn't fought in a long time and she didn't want to start it up again today.

"Please don't get mad, but . . . yesterday I saw you and Kate . . . and I thought that you were . . . cheating on me," she choked out.

Eli wasn't sure how to feel now. The first thing he felt was solace; he had yet to experience jealousy or suspicion when it came to Clare cheating, but he knew that it must've hurt to even consider the slightest possibility so he felt bad that she had to feel that kind of pain.

But he was also curious at the same time. Clare was fine with him going over to Kate's house a few weeks ago; she didn't feel threatened or jealous at all. What changed between now and then to make her suspect anything?

"Why would you think that? Was it just because of what you thought you saw yesterday?"

"Partly," she admitted. "But never mind; I'm sure I'm just overreacting."

She stood-up and began to walk away as she tried to hide her confusion and heartache. Eli saw how secluded and forlorn she was and this caused him to feel immediate worry for her.

"Babe wait," he called before she got too far away from him.

Clare froze in her tracks, but not just because he was calling to her. He referenced her as something that no one called ever called her before. She would've usually been overjoyed to hear him call her this, but today she was just too lost in her own thoughts to be flattered.

She turned around and saw him coming towards her.

"Clare, what's going on with you? Is everything okay?" he asked.

"No, it's not," she replied without meeting his eye.

"What's wrong?"

He gently moved a strand of hair behind her ear to give her a form of comfort. She took a deep breath and prepared to tell him what was on her mind. She was about to open her mouth and explain why she felt so distraught when . . .

_Ring!_

The students began to scatter through the halls as they began to make their way to class.

"Can we talk later?" he asked.

Clare simply nodded. She felt a mixture of relief and annoyance when that bell rang. She was now able to think of a better way to explain what was on her mind, but now she had to deal with this frustration for another few hours.

Eli gently kissed her cheek and muttered an "I love you" before he walked down the hall to get to his class. As he made his way to Calculus, he began to feel a boatload of sympathy for Clare. She held on to pain that he didn't even know she had . . . or maybe he was just blind to see it. Either way, Eli knew he had to be there for her and he was going to do all he could to be sure all her inner torture was eliminated.

()()

Clare was able to finish her poem for English the night before. She was able to let out her emotions, but it hardly eased her. Miss Dawes called on her to read her poem aloud to the class after three others went. She stood by her desk and stared down at her paper. She avoided Eli's eyes because she knew that she would probably begin to cry once she started reading.

"What kind of poem did you write, Clare?" Miss Dawes asked.

"I did a quatrain titled _Afraid_," she answered.

"Alright, you may begin."

Clare cleared her throat and began the poem.

"_I'm afraid of what's happening_

_Do you see me slowly drifting away out of fear and sadness?_

_It feels like all we've overcome is falling_

_Please tell me this isn't the beginning of the end for us_".

"Very nice," Miss Dawes acknowledged.

Clare sat down at her desk as Miss Dawes called on another student to read their poem. As she placed herself in her seat, she saw Adam give her a small nod of approval and she saw Kate completing an eye-roll. However, she didn't once glance at Eli. She was sure that he caught on that the poem was about him and their current situation.

She stared down at the lines on the paper that didn't contain the four lines she'd written. She wanted to look at Eli to see if she could read the emotions on his face, but she was slightly worried her heart would break if she did. She was so close to her breaking-point and so afraid that merely looking at her boyfriend would cause her to snap and she didn't want to start crying in the middle of class.

"Eli," Miss Dawes called a few minutes later.

He stood up from his seat and turned to Clare. She was continuing to look down at the desk. He continued to feel sympathetic for her and he hoped that the poem he wrote last night would give her some kind of comfort.

"I wrote an acrostic poem called _Always_," he informed the class before he began to recite the poem.

"A_nother moment we share that I wish could last an eternity_

L_et our two hearts beat as one_

W_e have something special_

A_nd I'll never let it go_

Y_ou have my heart_

S_o please never give it back_".

After he finished reading, he turned back to Clare. She was looking at him at this point, but she had to fight to keep the tears inside her. She saw the truth and love in his eyes and she began to feel even worse about considering the idea that he was cheating on her. But she knew she couldn't cave in to her guilt and walk away from this. She had to tell him that she was uncomfortable with Kate; if she didn't, she knew this rollercoaster would start again.

Since it was Tuesday, the Drama Club had to meet during morning study period. Kate went straight to the auditorium while Adam, Clare, and Eli made their way to the Art room and where they found the other eighteen students who worked on props, setting, and costumes.

Clare stood by a table and started painting one of the masks that some of the cast members would have to wear during the play while everyone else did their own thing. A few minutes later, however, Eli came over to her and started painting another mask.

"Can we talk?" she asked. She still wasn't completely certain of what she was going to say, so she decided to just improvise.

"Of course," he said kindly.

Clare took a breath before answering. She wasn't sure how this was going to end, but she knew she was going to find out soon.

"We promised to be honest with each other and I need to be honest with you," she began. "Remember how upset I was on Halloween just before we left the carnival?"

"Yeah," he recalled.

"Well, I wasn't upset about homework and stress like I told you; I didn't want to ruin the night, so I kept my mouth shut about it, but something has been on my mind."

Clare took another shuddering breath before looking up at him. Eli saw tears forming in her eyes.

"At the carnival K.C mentioned something about Kate acting a certain way around you and he said some things about you not really caring and she's going to steal you away from me like Jenna did with him."

"Clare, you know I care about you and I promised that I would be with you forever; I want to be with you forever and that's not going to change."

"I know and I believe you, but . . . I kind of understand why he'd think that."

"What do you mean?" Eli asked.

Clare inhaled and exhaled as she prepared to say what Adam had been preaching all along and what she should've said weeks ago. She had no idea how he would react or if he would believe her, but she knew nothing was going to be resolved by keeping quiet.

"Kate likes you as more than a friend. I see the way she looks at you and the way she acts around you at times."

Eli was slightly surprised by Clare's allegation. She and Kate always seemed to get along, so he didn't expect this at all.

"Adam," he growled under his breath. "I knew he said something to you when you asked if I was attracted to anyone else a few weeks ago."

"He didn't tell me anything; I saw it for myself. I didn't even know that he suspected something until I told him what I saw."

"I thought you liked Kate," he stated.

"I did at first," Clare replied. "But I've been seeing her flirt with you a lot lately and it's just making _so_ angry and I don't know how to deal with that."

She felt a tear fall down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away.

"But you're also letting her do all of it. She's flirting with you and every time we try to hang-out as a group, she doesn't even take notice of Adam and I and it isn't long until you do the same thing. It happens when we're at the Dot, lunch, English sometimes, and it happened during the carnival."

Eli reflected on the times Clare spoke of and he realized that she was absolutely right. He felt rotten. He neglected both her and Adam and he couldn't believe that he was so clueless to not notice it. He wished that he noticed this sooner and that it didn't continue for as long as it did.

"Why are you just now coming to me about this?" he asked.

"I hoped that it was in my head. But when I saw that it wasn't, I thought you'd realize and you'd tell her to back off. I told myself that if I ever dated a guy who let a different girl flirt with him constantly I'd break-up with him because I don't want anything that happened with K.C to happen again, but I don't want to leave you. I don't want to risk getting left behind like that again, but the reason I've been around this long is because I love you and I trust you and I've hoped that you would realize what was going on."

Clare's voice was getting more and more hysteric the longer she continued.

"But now history is repeating right in front of me and I can't go through that for a second time, especially if you're the person who's going to leave me. But if you're going to dump me for her, please just go ahead and get it over with!"

"Clare, I'm not interested in Kate. She's a friend and I don't see her in any other way than that."

"You don't believe me, do you?" she scoffed as she placed her brush down on the table.

Eli rolled his lips before putting down his paintbrush and turning to Clare.

"It's not that I don't believe you, I just don't see it."

"How can you not see it?"

"Because no matter how many people try and flirt with me, I'm not going to take it into account or let it affect my feelings for them or you. I'm still going to have more feelings for you and the people who flirted with me in the first place will remain the way they are in my mind. And even if Kate is flirting with me, I won't flirt back or allow her to come between us. If she tries anything to break us up, I'll draw the line. You're the most important person in my life, Clare, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize what we have so if that means me keeping my distance from Kate, I will."

Clare absorbed his words and calmed down. He made a few good points and he was willing to do anything to make her happy. Although she wasn't really fond of Kate, she was still a good friend of Eli's and he didn't want him sacrificing his friends for her sake.

"But I don't want to control who you hang-out with," Clare told him. "Just keep your eyes open, okay?"

"I will," he promised before he wrapped his arm around her waist. "I love you; don't forget that."

"I won't; I love you too."

He gave her a peck on her lips and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry I made you feel left out all those times. I never meant to do that to you."

"I know," she reassured him. "So you're not mad that I accused you of cheating?"

"No," he answered. "I probably would've thought the same thing if I saw you with another guy. But I see why you thought that and I swear that I'll try my best to not hurt you like this again."

Clare held him tighter. She knew she shouldn't feel threatened; Eli wasn't going to leave her because of a racy Halloween costume and a few flirts and as long as he was careful around her, she knew she could handle it.

They stopped the hug and began to work again before some of their fellow classmates got on their case. As Clare and Eli started painting again, they were no longer confused, hurt, or concerned. Everything was finally back to the way it was before and they were both content with it.

"So . . . you called me 'babe' earlier today," she reminded; she blushed at the memory and finally felt the happiness that had been delayed.

"If you don't want me to call you that –," he began; he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable by giving her this name.

"No, it's fine," Clare piped in. "I'm actually flattered; no one's ever called me that before."

"I never called anyone it before," he told her and it was true. He never called Julia that name because he didn't have the same feelings for her as he did for Clare.

As he told her this, confessed his love, and vowed to not let anything happen between them because of Kate, Clare knew that everything could just get better from here and she saw it as a sign that it was time to take the next step in their relationship.

"Are you doing anything on Thursday?" she asked.

"Depends," Eli replied with a smirk. "Are you asking me to do something with you?"

"Yes I am. Will you come over to my house around four?"

"I'll be there," he promised, although he had no clue of Clare's intentions for the upcoming Thursday.

* * *

"_Sink in anger_

_Fountains forming_

_Spill like thunder to what we're holding_

_Sleep forever now my darling"_

_~"Heaven's Calling" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

I know what some of you guys are thinking: "Okay, everything's getting better and this story is going to end on a happy note soon." Well, for those who want this story to be completed in the next few chapters, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I still have a ton more ideas I want to put in. And I can't end the story here anyway; I still haven't put in Eli and Kate's promise from many years ago (you didn't really think I'd forget _that_, did you?).  
Anyway, I can't wait to write and publish the next chapter! I'm getting excited just thinking about it! If all goes well, it should be up before Saturday, but it will be up by Monday at the latest. REVIEWS PLEASE!


	22. Forever and Always

I LOVE YOU ALL! I'm so thankful for all the reviews and praise you've given me! HUGS! Here's the next chapter. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi, Eli and Clare would still be together, ergo I don't own Degrassi. Although, in my mind Eli and Clare are still together, so I guess that means I own Degrassi. But then again I have no control over what happens on the show, so I guess I don't. However, I control what happens in this fanfic, so does that mean that I do? Hmm . . . I'm going to need to give this some serious thought (lol).

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Two

Forever and Always

Thursday afternoon finally came after two and a half long days of school. Clare thought this moment would never come, but it finally did. It was now three-fifteen in the afternoon, so she had a bit of time to get everything ready. She sprinted up the stairs and ran to her room as quickly as she could.

Her mom was going to be working until nine-thirty, which meant she probably wouldn't be home until ten. This meant Eli and she were going to be alone for six hours. Her heart began to beat fast in anticipation and excitement.

She put her bag down in the corner. Thankfully she didn't have any homework, so this meant she wouldn't have to worry about anything. The timing was perfect . . . tonight was the night.

She moved to her bed and pulled out a shoebox from underneath it. She took off the lid and saw a great number of rose red petals. She walked out of the room and went down the steps towards the front door with the box in hand. She scattered some of them by the door and eventually created a path that led up the stairs all the way to her room.

By the time Clare was back in her bedroom, she still had a few petals left in the box. She made a small trail that led to her bed. She put the now empty box back under her bed before closing the door.

Clare closed all blinds in her room before she did anything else. The room was dimmer, so she turned on a lamp by her bed to send a soft yellow glow along the walls and ceiling. She quickly checked the time and saw that she still had twenty-five minutes until Eli arrived.

She took off all her clothes but covered herself up in her red dressing gown. She stood in front of the mirror to see if there was anything else she could do with her appearance to make herself seem more attractive. She readjusted the neckline so a bit of cleavage was revealed, but she suddenly felt insecure and covered it up.

"Come on Clare," she growled at her reflection before the brought the neckline back down. "He thinks you're beautiful and that's not going to change. He's going to love you no matter what, so you don't have to feel weird about anything."

Smiling at herself and the confidence that came alive within her, she quickly combed her hair before fluffing it a bit with her hands. Now finally approving of how she looked, she checked the time and saw that she had another fifteen minutes.

Was she nervous? Absolutely, but her desire to be with him outweighed it. Eli was the one for her and she was going to be with him forever so she felt no guilt or regret whatsoever about losing her virginity to him.

"No turning back," she told herself as she took off her purity ring and put it by her lamp.

Clare sat on the edge of her mattress and put one leg over the other. A bit of the fabric from her gown slid off and exposed her leg. She turned to the clock on her side table again and saw that it was ten minutes till four.

Her heart started hammering against her ribcage as though it was trying to break free from her body. She sat there and thought about how she believed this night would happen . . .

_He would knock on the door like he always does. Clare would hear it all the way in her room, but instead of getting up or hollering for him to come in, she would pick up her phone and call him._

_"You may come in," she would say seductively before hanging up the phone. He would enter the house and see the petals. She knew that he would be curious as to where they led and Eli will then follow them all the way to her room._

_"Clare?" is what he would probably say when he reached her door._

_"Come on in Eli," she will respond._

_He would enter the room. Since there would be no doubt that he will be very surprised that she was nothing but her dressing gown, she would be able to take advantage of the situation and slowly walk towards him. She'll take his hands in hers before fitting her lips to his. _

_"I've been waiting for you," she'll whisper to him before leading him to the bed. "I'm ready."_

_One thing will then lead to another. They'll then make love and leave this world behind for a while . . . _

The fantasy itself was driving Clare crazy, so she knew that when Eli did come she would go absolutely wild. She looked at the clock for what felt like the millionth time and grinned when she saw it was four o'clock. She sat on her bed and stared at the door impatiently.

She listened for a knock on the door for countless minutes, but none came. She knew that he was probably just running behind and he'd be here within another ten minutes or so. She didn't mind if she had to wait that long; compared to the hours they were going to spend together, these minutes were going to seem like nothing.

But Eli didn't arrive after ten minutes. Clare tried to remain calm and keep up her positivity, but she was losing grip of these feelings as more minutes ticked by.

"Morty probably got a flat tire or something and he has to walk," she tried to convince herself. "That would take a bit of time. He'll be here soon."

Ten more minutes passed . . . then twenty . . . by the time half an hour passed, Clare started to get restless. He was never late for a date, let alone by forty minutes. She occasionally looked through the blinds to see if he was coming down the street, but she never saw him.

"Ten more minutes," Clare said to herself as she sat back down on her bed. "If he's not here in ten minutes, I'll call him."

Those minutes came and went but he still wasn't there. Clare picked up her cell phone and dialed his number. She heard three rings then his voice from his outgoing message fill her ear.

"You've reached Eli. Obviously I'm not here so leave a message and I might call you back."

Clare didn't have any idea what to say, so she just closed her phone and bowed her head in as she felt ice replace the blood in her veins.

She wasn't sure if should be worried or hurt by this point. She knew that Eli would never stand her up, so something must've happened to him or someone important to him. She dialed Adam's number and quickly as she could and waited for him to answer.

"'Sup Clare?" Adam answered.

"Hey, have you heard from Eli since we left school?" she asked as she tried to keep the disappointment in her voice to a minimum.

"Yeah, he left my house an hour ago. Is everything okay?" he said.

"He was supposed to come over to my house at four, but he hasn't showed up and his phone is off. He's never shown up late but, but it's been fifty minutes and I'm getting worried about him."

"Relax," Adam instructed, although Clare could tell he was also slightly worried. "I'll go by his house and see if anything's going on."

"Alright. Thank you," she said before he hung-up.

She lied on her bed and prayed that Eli was alright. She watched her alarm clock tick time away; she was so focused on the clock that she was startled when her phone started ringing ten minutes later and saw Adam's name on her caller ID.

"Is everything alright?" she answered.

"I think so," Adam replied. "I went by and Morty's in the driveway, but his dad's car is gone and no one's home. I'm sure something came up and he'll call you later to explain everything."

"Okay," Clare sighed. "Thanks Adam."

"No problem," he said before ending the conversation.

Deciding to not draw any conclusions as to where Eli was just yet, Clare heeded Adam's advice and waited for Eli to call. She tried to sit on the bed very patiently, but the kept fidgeting out of fret.

For the next two hours, Clare remained in her room and waited for the phone to ring. She paced, sat down on her bed, and sat at her desk as she tried to stay calm. But this was making her very anxious and it was impossible for to stay still for more than thirty seconds.

Seven o'clock arrived . . . and Clare still hadn't heard from Eli. She then realized that he wasn't going to come over and he wasn't going to call.

She had no choice but to face the facts . . . Eli Goldsworthy, her true love, her best friend, and the person who she loved more than anything else in the world, had stood her up.

Shaking with hurt and anger, she picked up all the rose petals that led from the front door all the way to her bed. She tried not to cry as she dumped the boxful of petals into her trashcan. What was happening? They had just finally gotten everything back to the way it was, now he did this? She felt like she was drowning but there was no one there to save her from being crushed by the water.

Clare changed into her pajamas and got into bed. Although she hadn't eaten anything since lunch, she wasn't hungry at all. Her heart was too disappointed to feel anything except ache and confusion.

"Why Eli?" she pleaded as her tears started to stain her pillow. "Why are you doing this to me?"

For the first time in her life, Clare actually cried herself to sleep.

* * *

"_And I stare at the phone_

_He still hasn't called_

_And then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all_

_And you flashback to when he said forever and always"_

_~"Forever and Always" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

Please don't hurt me! What happened in this chapter was necessary! Put away the pitchforks and torches (you'll probably need to use them later).

I know this chapter was shorter than usual, but I think its intensity makes up for that. I'm working on Chapter Twenty-Three whenever I can and I should have it posted before Degrassi starts up again! Reviews please amazing readers!


	23. Hot N Cold

OVER 100 REVIEWS! I AM SOOO HAPPY! I LOVE YOU GUYS! And thank you for not coming at me with torches and pitchforks because of what occurred in the last chapter (lol). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, Degrassi, Degrassi, or Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three

Hot N Cold

Clare was absolutely furious the next morning. Enmity filled her body and that was the only emotion she could even think about having for a while. She still couldn't believe Eli stood her up last night. It was a terrible feeling and it was hurting her especially since they were supposed to have their first night of intimacy.

No one else knew of the plans she made the night before and she was going to keep it that way. Plus, if she chose to confront Eli about his absence, she didn't want him to think about missing out on an opportunity to have sex with her, but rather him not showing up at all. The fact that he never showed up and didn't call was the blade that pierced her heart.

Clare rode her bike all the way to Degrassi and made a beeline for her locker. She was so steamed right now that she didn't want to see or talk to anyone, especially Eli. Other than Kate, he was the last person she wanted to see or think about.

Unfortunately for her, he was making his way towards her as she opened her locker. She kept her eyes glued to the contents of the locker, by she still saw him out of the corner of her eye.

"Bonjour mon amour," he greeted. "Tu es superbe aujourd'hui."

She usually adored it when he said "hello my love, you look beautiful today" in French, but today Clare didn't want to hear it. She pulled her History book out of her locker and tried to not explode in the middle of the hallway.

"Not today, Eli," Clare said in a harsh voice as she closed her locker and continued to avoid his eye.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Clare simply let out a chuckle that was absent of amusement and shook her head slowly before looking back at him.

"Am I okay?" she restated. "You know what? If you didn't want to come over yesterday you could've told me! Or at least you could've called to tell me you weren't coming over!"

"What do –?" He paused and remembered that he was supposed to go over to Clare's house yesterday. "Crap!" he growled at himself.

"Yeah," she snapped.

"I am so, so, so, so, so, _so_ sorry," Eli said before he put his hands on her upper arms. She backed away from him so his hands weren't touching her. "I completely forgot."

"That's obvious," she scoffed.

"Clare, I feel terrible."

_Good_, she sneered in her head.

"I didn't mean to forget and I would've been there if I didn't. You have every right to be upset."

Clare looked away for a second in attempt to calm down.

"You've never forgotten a date and we've been together for nearly a year. What caused you to forget one this time?"

"Other than a very stressful Wednesday of homework and tests? Um . . . I accidentally double-booked," he confessed. "I was stressed out on Wednesday and I wasn't thinking clearly all day and somehow other plans were made. I am really sorry. I swear it was nothing towards you; it was just my stupid mind and I wish I remembered because you know I never would've done that otherwise."

Clare's anger wasn't suppressed the slightest. She was still hurt and that set off the horrible infuriation within her. She wasn't sure if she was going to be distant from him for the rest of the day or not, but she saw that Eli did feel guilty and he was sorry. She was about to forgive him when one of her least favorite people arrived.

"Hello dear companions," she greeted.

Although Eli promised to keep an eye out of any flirtatious looks from Kate and to not let anything happen to him and Clare because of her, Clare still didn't trust Kate. The only reasons she continued to spend time with her was because she was Eli's longest friend and simply because she didn't trust her alone with him. Clare hoped that, in time, she might be able to get over this and have a civil acquaintanceship with Kate, but she had to stop flirting with Eli for that to happen.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Kate asked when neither of them responded to her salutation.

"What's up Kate?" Clare replied as she tried to disguise her frustration by acting casual.

"Eli, you know how my dad told your dad last night about that one band from New Brunswick?"

"Yeah," Eli said, quickly glancing at Clare before turning back to Kate.

"Well here's one of their albums," Kate said passing him a CD.

"Thanks, I'll give it to my dad."

"Good. And you also accidentally left this ring at my house," she said as she passed him one of the rings he wore every day. "It must've fallen off or something."

"I thought I was missing one. Thanks and I'm sorry about that."

"It's no problem. I'll see you in Calculus. Bye Clare," Kate said before setting off down the hall.

Eli turned back to Clare. Her eyes were full of anger with a small glint of hurt.

"It's not what you think."

"Then please explain," she demanded angrily. "Because it sounds like you were out with Kate."

He took a breath before explaining.

"Like I said, my mind was completely out there on Wednesday. I had no idea what was going on in the world and I accidentally forgot our plans. Kate and I's parents went to high school together, but they haven't seen each other since they moved here. During Drama Club on Wednesday, Kate asked if me and my parents wanted to go over to Kate's house so they could catch-up and stuff."

Clare sighed and looked away from him for a minute and tried to think. The reason was understandable, but she felt blood boil angrily inside her nonetheless.

"So you were with her?" she said before facing him again.

"With my parents and her parents," he reminded. "It was nothing more than a small get-together with old friends."

"Eli, did you really forget our date or are you just saying that to make me feel better?" she inquired.

"I forgot," he replied. "Wait, do you think I stood you up on purpose to be with Kate?"

Clare shrugged.

"Seriously?" he snapped.

"It's too convenient."

"You really think that I would do that to you? You think I'm that much of a jerk? Clare, you know that's not me."

"I'm just saying that you've never done this before even when you were under stress but Kate comes along and now you 'forget'?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want the truth."

"Fine," he snapped. "On Tuesday, I agreed to come over. Wednesday came and I got loaded down with homework, tests, and doing stuff for Drama and my brain shut down on me. I forgot about our date in the midst of it all and Kate suggested that my parents and I go over to hers. That's what happened."

Clare sighed and tried to remain calm, but the memory of her sitting in her room alone the night before without a single phone call still roamed her mind.

"But still, it's too coincidental that you forget a date and you go to Kate's."

"Alright, are you upset because it happened in general or because I was visiting Kate and her family?"

"I don't know," Clare said. "I'm not really thrilled that I was sitting at home waiting for you for hours, but you can't really blame me that you were with Kate of all people."

"Come on Clare, I get that you don't like her, but I know that if this was Adam or someone else you wouldn't be getting so angry about it."

"Well excuse me," she snapped sarcastically. "I'm sorry that the idea of you and another girl who likes you being alone together makes me uneasy."

"She doesn't like me in that way," he protested. "And we weren't alone; we were with our parents."

"And do you really expect me to believe that you guys were with them all night?"

"I expect you to trust me and believe me when I say that nothing happened."

"Funny, I never anticipated that anything _did_ happen until you said that. Did anything happen?"

"I didn't do anything with her," Eli proclaimed. "We just talked with our parents. There's nothing for you to be mad about, but I don't really appreciate the idea that I would do something behind your back when I tell you every day that I love you and I only want to be with you."

"Okay, so I'm the one who gets stood up and I'm not allowed to get mad but you can get mad at me for being suspicious?"

"No, you can get upset about me not showing up; I deserve it. But how am I supposed to feel when you accuse me of doing something with another girl? And you think I'm lying to you about accidentally forgetting? Do you expect me to not be affected by that?"

"What else am I supposed to think Eli? 'I got stood up because my boyfriend forgot and now he's spending time with a beautiful girl who likes him. Oh well, I'll get over it'. That's not exactly the way I handle things!"

"First of all, she doesn't like me like that!" he repeated. "And I can't believe you're making such a big deal out of this!"

"It _is_ a big deal! I understand why you forgot, but the fact that you were spending time with Kate while I was sitting there waiting for you, actually worrying that something could've happened to you, doesn't sit well with me."

Without another word she turned away and went down the hall.

()()

Eli didn't meet Clare outside her French class a few hours later like he usually would have, so this proved that he was still unhappy with her about their fight from this morning. The feeling was mutual and Clare just made her way to English by herself.

She entered Miss Dawes's classroom and turned to the back of the class. Her stomach churned angrily when she saw Eli and Kate talking to each other. Not having any desire to be in close proximity with either of them, Clare sat in a vacant seat in the front of the class. Since her back was facing him, she didn't see him looking at her.

Eli glimpsed to see that she was sitting as far away from him as she could. He didn't want to fight with her and he didn't want to be mad at her, but some of the things she said were just too outrageous to process.

Clare glanced over her shoulder to see if Kate was flirting. It was obvious that she and Eli were fighting, so Clare knew that Kate could easily take this opportunity to be ultra-flirty with him and, in an attempt to comfort him, spend a lot of time with him so he'd have a friend. She couldn't see Kate's face, but she saw Eli quickly turning his head away from her and back to Kate.

"Hey."

Clare turned back around and saw Adam standing by her desk.

"Eli told me what happened," he said.

"Really?" she asked. "Did he tell you that he was a jerk who doesn't care about his girlfriend's feelings?"

"No, but he did tell me that you got on his case about some things."

"And I had every right to."

"Not according to Eli," he mentioned.

"You haven't even heard my side of the story," Clare reminded.

"Fine, you can tell me it after class," Adam said before moving to his usual seat right before Miss Dawes began to speak.

Once morning study period arrived, Clare went straight the library and Adam quickly caught up to her.

"So what's your side?" he asked when he took a seat across from Clare at the table.

Clare told him everything that happened that morning and he listened intently.

". . . and now he thinks I'm being unreasonable because I was upset that he was with Kate. And his ignorance about Kate liking him is getting on my last nerve."

Adam just sat there, nodded, and thought about what Eli told him earlier that day and what Clare just explained just now.

"Do you see why I'm upset?" she asked.

"I do, and I also see why Eli's upset. And, to be honest, I think you both are overreacting."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, but I've heard both sides and I think you guys should be upset about certain things, but other things you guys are overthinking."

"Like what?"

"Clare, the guy loves you with all his heart and he thinks of you more than anyone, but then you go saying that he did something with a girl who is just a friend to him. Of course he's going to be hurt by that. And I'm certain that he never wanted to stand you up if he could help it, but he was stressing over so much school work so he could keep up his grades so he could get into the University of Ottawa that he did get a bit side-tracked. Like on Wednesday, he thought that Han Solo was Morty . . . and he didn't realize it until he actually looked _inside_ the car, not outside like a regular person. That's how out of it he was."

"Really?" asked Clare.

"I even followed him home to be sure he didn't wreck or walk into a stranger's house. Believe me, he really did forget and it was because he's been stressed. It had nothing to do with Kate."

"I never thought I'd hear you defending Kate," she stated. "A few days ago you would've agreed with me completely."

"A few days ago Eli didn't listen to anything negative about Kate, but you talked to him and he's watching his back. And usually I wouldn't defend her, but I can honestly say that Kate had nothing to do with this whatsoever."

The tables had now turned. Clare knew Adam was completely right. Maybe Kate didn't have anything to do with this after all and Clare's dislike for her took control of her and she ended up saying all these things that made Eli sound like a complete monster. She felt terrible and she needed some air and time to calm down.

She bade Adam farewell and walked outside toward one of the picnic tables. She replayed the fight she and Eli had in her mind and she felt terrible for not trusting him. He would never do anything to betray her trust and she knew that, so she basically ripped his head off for no reason. She was still a bit hurt that he forgot their date, but she understood why he did and she knew she would get over that.

The question was if he would be able to forgive her for being so relentless.

She suddenly saw someone out of the corner of her eye coming towards the picnic table. She turned her head and saw Eli coming towards her. He didn't seem angry or anything as he sat across from her. He pulled out a black notebook out of his bag. Clare recognized it as the story he'd been working on since the school year started. He never let anybody read it, not even Clare; he only wrote it on occasion and he knew that it wasn't his best work. But he knew Clare was fascinated by it even though she had no idea what it was about.

He put it on the table and slid it towards her. Clare looked at the notebook before looking back up at Eli. She saw regret and hurt in his eyes and she felt worse about accusing him of all the things he didn't do.

"Why are you –?" she began.

"Peace offering," Eli explained. "I'm really sorry again about forgetting our date, and for yelling at you this morning, and for saying that you had no reason to be upset."

"No, you were right," Clare stated. "I was just hurt and took it out on Kate. I know that she wasn't the reason you didn't show and I was more upset about it because it was her you were with yesterday. And I'm sorry for accusing you of cheating on me again and for just being a jerk."

"It's alright," he reassured.

"No, I know you meant it when you said you didn't like Kate and when you said you wanted to be with me forever. I was just a bit hurt and I needed to take it out on something, and I know that's not an excuse –."

"Clare," Eli said as he reached across the table and took her hand. "You had every right to be upset and I'm sorry I was harsh instead of understanding like I should've been."

"I understand that you've been stressed and I'm sorry for not being more sympathetic about it."

"You didn't know, so it makes sense that you didn't."

"Okay, I think it's clear that we both messed up today, so can we just accept that and make up?"

"Sounds good to me," he replied with a small grin as he made his way around the table to sit next to her. "But I am really sorry."

"Me too," Clare said before she put her lips to his.

The kiss lasted for a few seconds, but when it did end, Eli wrapped his arms around Clare's waist and pulled her into a hug.

"Can we try not to fight anymore?" he asked.

"Please," she replied as she held him in her own arms.

They soon released each other and grinned at each other. Clare picked-up the notebook and flipped through it. Half of it was filled out and there were notes and doodles in the margins. It looked very intriguing.

"I can't wait to read this," she told him.

"Don't judge it too harshly," Eli said.

"Alright," Clare agreed before putting it in her bag. "I'm sorry you're so stressed out about homework and stuff."

"Thanks, but I'll be fine. I just have to bring my Physics grade up from an F to an A before this semester is over."

"Well, if you're not busy after school today, I'm more than willing to have a study session."

Eli grinned and turned all the way around to face her.

"You're willing to spend your Friday night helping me study?"

"I'm offering, aren't I?" she said.

He smiled at her in complete and utter gratitude.

"I've said this before and I shall say it again: you are the best."

Clare blushed before continuing the conversation.

"So it's a study date?"

"It's a study date," he agreed.

"Okay," Clare smiled as she pulled a black marker out of her bag. She took Eli's hand and wrote something on the back.

"What are you doing?" he asked curiously.

"Making sure you don't forget this time," she teased as she finished writing and put her marker away.

Eli read what she tattooed on his skin in the blank ink. It read _Clare's after school_. He let out a chuckle before poking Clare in the side, which was her weak spot and it always caused her to start laughing.

"Not fair," she said through her laughter.

"Sorry," he smiled. "Come on, the bell's gonna ring any minute."

The two of them then began to walk back into the school hand-in-hand.

Although he apologized and everything was improving once again, Clare was unsure if she was willing to give herself to him any time soon. She was probably going to wait until things settled down a bit before planning another night . . . which would hopefully end up with the ending she wished for.

* * *

"'_Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no_

_You're in then you're out, you're up then you're down_

_You're wrong when it's right, it's black and it's white_

_We fight, we break up, we kiss, we make up"_

_~"Hot N Cold" by Katy Perry_

* * *

Sorry if my French was wrong; I'm not sure how accurate the translators are on the Web. We have a bit less than a week until Degrassi starts up again. Let's all hope for good things for EClare! But if that fails, FANFICTION TO THE RESCUE! Next few chapters are currently being worked on, so stick around. Reviews please!


	24. Better Than Revenge

Thanks again for the reviews (and thank you EliandClare414 for telling me that valuable piece of information)! I see you guys are really, really, really, _really_ wanting to know about if Kate and Eli are going to get together, if he's going to choose Clare, what he and Kate promised a long time ago, and if he's ever going to tell Clare about his and Kate's almost kiss. I would tell you what's going to happen now, but that would ruin the story, so my lips are sealed until the chapters are posted. But I do have good news for all you anxious people . . . you just have to read this chapter first to see what it is. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. If I did I probably wouldn't be writing fanfictions, but I'd be bringing them to life on the small screen (or big screen depending on what kind of television set you own).

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Four

Better Than Revenge

The next week went by pretty slow for those at Degrassi. For the trio of friends plus Kate, life was crazy as usual. Drama Club, tests, English assignments, and studying took up most of their time. Every day for the last week, Clare and Eli would go the one of their homes, the Dot, the park, or the abandoned church to study. It was obvious that Eli and Physics didn't get along well at all. Almost every question Clare asked he got incorrect or he had no idea what the answer could be. And it didn't really help that they kept taking "study breaks".

Last Friday and the following Monday and Tuesday, they didn't get much studying done at all.

The two of them were in her living room on Friday afternoon and they were still trying to recover from one of their worst fights, so it made sense that studying wasn't exactly the first thing on their minds. Clare's mom wasn't home from work yet, so they made themselves comfortable on the couch.

Clare flipped through Eli's textbook and tried to following along with it, but some of it she couldn't comprehend.

"I see why you aren't doing well," she admitted as the two of them sat on the couch. "I can't even begin to understand half of it."

"Well, be prepared. Next year you're going to have to take this class," Eli forewarned.

"Thanks for reminding me," she kidded as she nudged him in the side. "Okay, let's start with what you know."

"Alright . . . uh . . ." He scanned his brain, but nothing came to him.

"Forget that," Clare said when he saw realized that he didn't remember anything. She flipped to the beginning of the book. "Let's just start with the basics. What's the equation for speed?"

"I know this," Eli told himself firmly. "I know this . . . I know this . . . I have no clue."

"Distance over time," she informed.

"I knew that," he exclaimed as he slapped himself in the head.

"Don't beat yourself up. Okay, do you know any of Newton's three Laws of Motion?"

"Yes," he replied as he closed his eyes and tried to focus. "First Law is the Law of Inertia that states that an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an outside force."

"Correct," Clare congratulated. "Second?"

"Mass times acceleration equals force."

"Alright," she said. "See, you know this."

"Two things," he stated.

"Two is better than none. Next?"

"The third Law states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

"Right," Clare smiled at him. "You know all of Newton's Laws, so that's a start. We'll just keep building up from here and you'll be able to get that A."

"Hopefully," Eli admitted as he turned to her. "Okay, so number three says that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, right?"

"Uh-hu," Clare nodded.

He took the textbook out of Clare's hands and placed it on the coffee table.

"I'm kind of confused on how that works," he said slyly. "Would you care to give me an example so I could understand it better?"

Clare knew what he was getting at and, if she had to be honest with herself, she really wanted to play along but she also wanted to be sure he passed the class.

"We're supposed to be studying," she reminded.

"Then let's think of this as a demonstration; one does learn more from experience after all."

She couldn't say no to him and his beautiful, loving green eyes. She also saw that he was trying to add a bit more positivity to their relationship because of earlier that week and that morning.

"Okay," she began. "What the Law is basically saying is that when one object puts force on another, the second object would put just as much force on the first object in the opposite direction."

Clare then cupped the back of Eli's neck with one of her hands.

"For example, if I put my lips to yours I would be putting force on them and you would reciprocate that same amount, but it would go in the opposite direction."

"I think I get it now," Eli said. "But just to be sure . . ."

Before he continued anymore, Clare kissed his lips. She wasn't sure if the example she gave him was completely accurate, but she knew he was just trying to find a way to kiss her without be too forward about it and she didn't mind at all. She actually found his subtly very attractive.

Eli removed his lips after a few seconds, but it was clear that neither of them wished to continue studying that night. He wanted to make things up with Clare, since he wasn't there the night before, and that's what he was going to do by spending the rest of the evening with her. He decided that he would work on his grade another night.

"You know what?" Eli began as he took her hands. "Two months ago today we told each other 'I love you' for the first time."

Clare smiled and reflected back to that moment for a second.

"That means it's been nearly two months since we said that we were the ones for each other," she reminded.

"And have any of those feelings changed for you?" he asked.

"No," she answered honestly. "You?"

"They've only gotten stronger."

Clare grinned at him. She felt a huge sweep of joy when he confided his feelings for her once again.

"I'm still really sorry about earlier today," she apologized for the final time.

"Me too," Eli replied before he put his lips to hers.

The next couple of study sessions that week were similar to this, except they actually attempted to buckle-down a little more before the study session became a make-out session. Clare admitted that she didn't mind taking these breaks, but she understood that Eli needed to pass the class, so on Wednesday she put her foot down and made sure that all they did was study until they studied for two hours straight. The technique worked and Eli was eventually able to consume some knowledge of the world of Physics.

Although things were stable between her and Eli again, Kate always seemed to be in the back of Clare's mind. Eli kept his promise of making sure that nothing happened whenever Kate flirted with him. She wasn't exactly keeping it subtle, but she wasn't going all-out like she did during Halloween. It was the little things from batting her eyelashes to twirling her hair that sent waves of resentment through Clare's body.

It was almost sickening for her to watch and Adam constantly made sure he would do anything he could to avoid disaster once Kate started flirting. He would drop books, trip on purpose, and he even pretended to choke during lunch one time so Kate would avert her eyes from Eli.

Long story short, Kate continuously plagued Clare's mind even though she tried to block it out. She tossed and turned at night out of fear even though she knew there was nothing to worry about. Eli promised her that Kate was never going to get between them so why was she still worried about it . . . ?

"Clare . . . Clare . . . Clare!"

She was pulled back to this Saturday afternoon. She and Alli were sitting at a food court in the mall when she started thinking about Eli and Kate again. She couldn't help it; every time she put up a wall to keep the thoughts out, they easily crumbled and took control of her.

Alli was reaching across the small table and shaking Clare's shoulder to get her attention.

"What?" she asked abruptly after her friend repeated her name over and over.

"Finally got your attention," Alli said as she sat back down. "What's with you today? You've been spacing out constantly."

"I have? Sorry."

"It's fine, but you're worrying me. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing," Clare attempted to reassure Alli as much as herself. But Alli knew Clare so she saw through the uncertainty.

"C'mon, I know you and I can usually tell when something is bothering you. What's up?"

Clare stirred her drink with her straw before answering.

"I've just been thinking about Eli," she finally answered with lack of enthusiasm.

"Uh-oh, this doesn't sound like the good kind of thinking."

"It's not," Clare admitted.

"Are you guys having problems?"

"Not really," she said. "We've had a few disagreements, but what relationship doesn't? I just mean . . . everything was fine a few months ago but now things are getting complicated."

"What changed?" Alli asked.

Clare looked down at her drink and tried to compose her thoughts before looking back at Alli.

"There's this girl named Kate at Degrassi who moved here in September and she was a friend of Eli's when they were kids. The two of them have been hanging-out for a while now and it was fine at first; they were just friends who were just doing stuff like what Adam and I do sometimes. But we started doing _Romeo and Juliet _in Drama and now she's clinging to him like a flea every chance she gets. Now she's flirting with him on a daily basis. It's not even the harmless flirting, but the intense kind of flirting like the kind I do with him. And, in all honesty, I'm getting ready to explode. I've tried to keep cool about it for Eli, but I'm so close to ripping her head off."

"I don't blame you," Alli said. "Have you told him?"

"Adam and I have both tried but he doesn't see what we're talking about, but he's said that nothing is going to happen between us either way."

"Then why is it bothering you? If whatever Kate does won't affect how Eli feels about you, then there's nothing to be worried about."

"I know, but after what happened with K.C, I don't want to take any more chances. I mean we didn't really suspect he would do that until it was too late, so I'm just worried that . . ." Clare trailed off; what she was in her head was too painful to think, let alone say.

"That Eli's going to leave you like K.C did?" Alli concluded.

Clare shrugged then nodded.

"I'm telling you, it's just a matter of time until Kate does something to steal him away. He can say what he wants about it not changing anything and I want to believe that, but I'm starting to have my doubts because she's been acting more and more flirtatious and I don't know what to do."

Alli felt extreme sympathy for her friend. She hated seeing Clare so confused and worried, so she was going to do all she could to help.

"Well, just to be sure, you aren't thinking about breaking-up with him, right?"

"Of course not," Clare said instantly. "I'm not going to end what he and I have if I can avoid it. I love Eli and he's sweet, he cares about me, he makes me feel on top of the world, and he's just amazing. Everything would be perfect if Kate wasn't in the picture."

"Good, because if you guys don't work, no one can," Alli said. "Now how far are you willing to go so you can stay together?"

"Alli, at this point I'm willing to do just about anything."

"Alright, then this is what you do," she began to explain. "First things first, be sure that Kate doesn't try anything. If you even suspect she's going to attempt to start flirting with your man again, you intervene."

"How?"

"Simple, you either change the subject, 'accidentally' kick her in the shins, or start making-out with him."

"You make it sound so easy," Clare commented with a chuckle. "But I'm not with him all the time he's with her, so what do I do then?"

"Uh . . . then whenever you're with him and she starts acting too friendly, you make sure she knows that Eli Goldsworthy is _not _on the market. And you make sure she gets the message."

"Got it," Clare noted. "Thanks Alli."

"Anytime," she said. "But listen, I don't know Eli that well, but I'm sure he's not going to leave you, the love of his life, for some skank like this Kate character."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm positive . . . but if he does, I won't hesitate to kick his sorry ass."

Clare laughed and hoped that Alli would never have to perform such a drastic act.

()()

The two girls walked into the CD store half an hour later and started to look around. Clare picked up a Counting Crows album for Adam for his birthday next month. They searched through the aisles of albums and soundtracks for countless minutes.

Clare was looking through some albums she was thinking of purchasing when she looked to the back of the store. She grinned when she saw Eli sitting next to a storage room in the back while sitting by a long rack of magazines as he filled-out some sort of form. She was curious and thought about walking over to see him, but her mind was quickly changed when she saw who he was with.

Kate emerged from the room and started talking to Eli immediately. Seeing both of their smiles sent the familiar anger through Clare's veins.

"Clare?" Alli's voice said.

She saw Alli coming towards her with a few CDs in her hand while looking very concerned.

"Are you okay?"

Clare quickly led Alli behind a cardboard cutout of Foo Fighters that wasn't too far away from their aisle.

"What's going on and why are we hiding?"

"Look to the back of the store," Clare instructed.

Alli stuck her head out to the side of the cutout and saw Eli and Kate. She quickly ducked back behind it before they saw her.

"Guess who that girl is," Clare said once Alli was standing next to her again.

"That's the skank?" Alli guessed.

"That's the skank," she restated.

Alli shook her head in disgust; this was unacceptable and it was time to take action.

"Here's your chance to show this girl who she's dealing with. When I give you the signal, you come over to me and then you show your stuff."

"I'm not sure about this."

"Hey, do you want her to keep giving him looks of lust or not?"

Clare glanced over the cardboard and saw the two of them exchanging words and smiles before turning back to Alli.

"What's the signal?"

"A nod of the head," she answered. "When I do, you come over, and then we'll act like we just saw them there."

"Okay," Clare accepted. "Let's do this."

Alli kept to the side but went straight to the magazines that were along the wall. She grabbed the first magazine in reach before she slowly stepped closer to Eli and Kate. She didn't draw attention to herself by getting too close, but they didn't even acknowledge her presence. Alli took this as both a positive and a negative. It was good because that meant they had no idea that someone was eavesdropping on their conversation, but this also meant that they were too engrossed in each other's company.

She opened up the magazine to a random article and hid her face while standing at a safe distance. She heard everything they were saying quite clearly and she waited for the opportune moment to nod to Clare. For the time being, however, she was going to listen in on Eli and Kate's conversation.

"I still can't believe you remembered that after all these years," Kate said to him.

"It's not like I make that kind of promise every day," he replied as he continued to fill out the papers.

_Promise? _Alli questioned in her mind. _What is he talking about?_

"But still, it's been eleven years and you still thought about it."

"I'm still not going through with it," he said warningly. Alli was becoming more and more confused by the second.

"Oh, I know," Kate reassured. "I understand that we were kids and stuff, but . . . I'm flattered."

Alli vigorously looked in Clare's direction and nodded. She walked along the wall to get to Alli and she wasn't noticed neither Eli nor Kate.

"Ready?" Alli asked as she put the magazine back on the rack.

"I think so. How flirty do I have to be?"

"All out."

Clare nodded and tugged at her shirt before she and Alli walked towards Kate and Eli.

"Hi Kate," she greeted to her enemy before she turned to Eli and put her hand on his shoulder and slowly roamed it to between his shoulder blades. "Hey baby."

Alli looked up at Kate and saw her eyes burn with despise. Eli, however, didn't notice Kate anger or Alli's proud grin; he only cared that Clare had just called him "baby" for the first time and she was smoothing her hand on his back. A surge of pleasure soared through him as he smiled up at her. He wondered if this is how she felt when he called her "babe" earlier that week.

"Hi," he replied to her before she planted a lingering kiss on his lips. She released his lips after at least ten seconds, but she kept her hand on his upper back.

"Kate, this is my friend Alli, Alli this is Kate," she familiarized although Kate didn't need any introduction.

"Nice to meet you," Alli said through a fake grin.

"You too," Kate replied. "So what are you guys doing here?"

"You know, hanging-out, shopping, the usual," Clare answered. "What about you guys?"

"Applying for a job here," Eli answered as he gestured to the papers in his lap. "Kate just turned in her application and I'm still trying to fill-out mine."

"That's cool," Alli approved. "I could actually see you working at a music store, Eli."

"If I get it," he reminded.

"I'm sure you will," Clare reassured him before she played with some of strands of hair on the back of his head.

"Who knows? Eli and I may soon be co-workers," Kate piped-in.

The war had begun. Kate pointed-out that she was probably going to be spending more time with Eli if they both got this job just so she could have kind of retaliation to the affection Clare was presenting. Eli, of course, was oblivious to the idea, but Clare and Alli saw it as clear as day.

"I guess we'll just have to see," Alli said as she tried to keep the coldness in her voice to a minimum.

"I guess so," she said. "Well, I'd better get home. It was nice meeting you Alli and I'll see you guys on Monday."

"See you," Eli said before Kate turned away and walked out of the store.

"She seems cool," Alli lied.

"She's okay," Eli said before turning to face Clare and wrapping an arm around her waist. "Just okay."

Clare smiled at him before kissing his lips again.

"Aw," Alli remarked with a grin before the pulled apart.

"I'll call you later," Clare promised Eli before she separated their arms from each other.

"I'll be waiting," he said affectionately before she and Alli walked away.

"Did you see Kate's face?" Alli asked as they walked to the front of the store to pay for their albums.

"Um . . . I was bit distracted," Clare answered honestly. She was never that flirtatious with Eli before and she enjoyed it, especially when she saw how enthused he was to see that side of her. She was definitely going to be that way with him again sometime in the near future whether Kate was around or not. "What happened?"

"She looked like she wanted to kill you," she explained. "That means that our plan is working."

"But I don't think she got the memo," Clare said as she paid for her CDs. "If anything she's going to get extra devious."

"Well, you know what to do if she does. But if you ever need advice, you call me ASAP."

"I will," Clare promised as they walked out of the store. She turned back one more time to give Eli a small wave, which he returned, before following Alli to a clothing store.

They were looking through some blouses when Alli recalled Kate and Eli's conversation. She had no idea what they were talking about and she was remotely curious to find out.

"So what did Kate and Eli promise each other when they were kids?" Alli asked, hoping Clare would know.

"What are you talking about?" Clare wondered, being taken aback. Any kind of promise they made was complete news to her.

"Nothing," Alli said before she started searching through the rack again.

"Alli, what's going on?"

She knew that Clare deserved to hear what she overheard. She turned to Clare and told her exactly what she heard in the music store. By the time she was finished, Clare was interested, but not in the good way. She now knew that there was more history between the two of them than what they led her to believe.

"What do you think it could be?" she asked Alli.

"I haven't the slightest idea. Why don't you ask him?"

"If he hasn't been willing to tell me at this point, he's probably not going to."

"That means he's hiding something, and isn't your relationship built on trust and honesty?"

"Yeah," Clare sighed. She hated that they were slowly starting to hide things from each other again; just when she finally thought things would finally get better they go all the way back to square one. How much more of this were they going to be able to take?

"Just ask him, Clare. I'm sure whatever they said to each other long ago isn't going to be that bad."

"If it wasn't that bad he would've told me what it was by now," she stated.

"Do you want to know?"

"I'm not sure," Clare answered. "It's going to bug me until I found out, but what if it's so horrible that I can't be with him without it constantly popping up in my mind?"

"You have to think about what's more important Clare: your relationship with him, which can overcome anything, or your fears. Which would you rather have?"

That didn't take Clare long to answer at all.

"Our relationship."

"So talk to him and I'm certain that whatever he said to Kate years ago won't change anything. Just remember that this is Eli. He loves you and he's going to care for you no matter what."

Clare nodded and prayed that Alli was right and that this secret wasn't going to change anything if he ever revealed it to her.

* * *

"_I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it_

_I underestimated just who I was dealing with_

_She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum_

_She underestimated just who she was stealing from"_

_~"Better Than Revenge" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

This was probably one of my favorite chapters to write thus far. I love putting schemes into action. MWHAHAHA! Okay, here's the news . . . we'll find out what their promise is next chapter! It's in-progress, but I'm not sure when it'll be posted. Reviews lovely people!


	25. Come Right Out and Say It

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY**! (Even though I'm not affected by the show b/c I still EClare together in my mind, I'm going to put this in every chapter until they get back together on the show, which hopefully they will. And if not, that's not going to stop me from being my favorite Degrassi couple of ALL TIME!)

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST! Seriously, I love all of you who review, add me to favorites, everything! I send you all a lot of love! Keep reading dedicated readers! Like Chapter 22, this chapter is going to be shorter than usual but the magnitude makes up for that.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, and I also got a Physics answer from the Web since I'm a science numbskull.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five

Come Right Out and Say It

Clare hardly got any sleep for the rest of the weekend. Her mind was too focused on what Alli told her at the mall. The need to know what Eli and Kate promised each other in grade one was driving her crazy and she couldn't concentrate on anything for very long.

She was going to take Alli's advice and ask Eli what happened between him and Kate long ago. She didn't want to talk to him about it over the phone or by text, so she waited to talk to him about it on Monday.

That day arrived and Clare was at Eli's house for another study session once they got out of school. She had so many opportunities to ask him during the day while they were at Degrassi, but she always got interrupted or she chickened-out because a part of her was worried he would get mad or that the answer was going to kill her. She was constantly unfocused on the world and it was a miracle that she was able to finish the day without losing her mind since she kept thinking of Eli and Kate every ten seconds.

Eli noticed that she was highly distracted all day, but every time he tried to ask her what was on her mind, she would just tell him that it was nothing and she'd quickly change the subject. He knew Clare better than anyone, so he understood that when she didn't want to talk about something on her mind, she would immediately start talking about a random subject. She did this constantly today, so there was definitely something on her mind. But, of course, she never told him despite how much he tried to get her to open up to him.

They were now in his room as Clare helped Eli study for his Physics test on Wednesday.

She was sitting on his bed reading from the textbook as he paced his room. He was doing well thus far and he'd been improving every day.

"An expression of the amount of rotation that a spinning object undergoes per unit of time," Eli quoted when Clare asked him what angular velocity was. She didn't answer him and he saw that her mind was somewhere else once again.

"Clare?" he asked her gently.

"Oh, yeah," she said once her mind turned back on. "That's right. Okay, what are the six types of –?"

"Wait," Eli said before she could continue. He sat next to her on the bed and put a comforting hand on her back. "You've been distracted all day and you've avoided talking about it. If it's making you lose focus like this, you know you can talk to me if you want to, right?"

Clare realized that nothing was going to change unless she told him what was bugging her. He was asking her to open up to him and this gave her a bit of comfort. She understood that their relationship was just as important to him as it was to her, so she knew that he was more than willing to listen to her problems and help her try to fix them; she just hoped he wouldn't get upset when she asked him to reveal a childhood secret.

Clare sighed, closed the book, and put it to the side. She had to ask Eli once and for all what happened between him Kate when they were kids. Whatever it was must have been extremely important if they still discussed it even if though it occurred eleven years ago.

"What happened between you and Kate in grade one?" she asked bluntly.

"Nothing," Eli said, slightly surprised she brought this up. "We were best friends; that's all."

"I'm not an idiot, Eli," Clare stated. "I know that there was something more."

"Why would you think that?" he interrogated as he continued to keep his hand on her back.

"At the mall on Saturday, Alli heard you and Kate say something about making some sort of promise as kids and she was flattered that you remembered it," she explained. "And that led me to believe that there was more than a simple friendship between you guys."

"It's not important," Eli told her calmly. "It was years ago and it's in the past. It doesn't matter to me at all."

"So I guess there's no harm in telling me."

She had him cornered. If he didn't tell her, she would definitely know that something happened and she would start to believe he was hiding something that was worse than what it really was. However, if he told her now, he would be able to explain that what really did occur and he could tell her that it meant, and means, nothing to him.

Eli exhaled and he took his hand off Clare's back before looking straight in her eyes.

"Kate and I were six. We had been best friends since day one and we always played and spent time together. We were really close and . . . there were a few times that we had little crushes on each other."

Clare tried to keep her cool and reminded herself that this was when they were at an age when everything was new and their world consisted of school, home, and friends, but the fact that he actually had some feelings for Kate made her a bit uneasy.

"It was nothing major," Eli pressed on. "It was one of those things that adults think is cute and they know it's not going to last. That's the kind of thing we had. My crushes on her only lasted a few days and they didn't come around often. Remember what she told you at the party a few months back? I had a fear of cooties ergo I didn't want a girlfriend. And now that I'm thinking about it, it's kind of weird thinking that I kind of had those feelings despite how naïve they were."

"That's the big secret? You guys just had crushes on each other?" Clare asked, hoping that was going to be the worst thing she was going to hear.

"Not really," Eli continued. "Um . . . remember that I was six and this doesn't mean anything to me today . . . she was my first kiss."

"I knew it!" she exclaimed. She wasn't sure why, but the idea of one of her least favorite people touching her boyfriend's lips made her skin crawl. She didn't care that they were only kids when this happened; Clare still felt slightly disgusted.

"Again, it wasn't anything major. It wasn't even a real kiss; it was a peck on the lips that we did on a dare and we ran away from each other and we didn't talk for a bit after that. It was weird and I definitely didn't, and don't, want to experience it with her again."

"Is that all?" Clare asked again.

"Not exactly," he continued onward. This was the part that he avoided Clare finding out about for the longest time. "There was a moment when we were kids and we were almost inseparable. We did almost everything together and we actually thought it would be cool if . . . remember we were kids and we had _no_ idea what we were talking about and what we were potentially getting ourselves into."

"Spit it out Eli."

"We were going to get married," he confessed.

At these words, Clare wasn't sure if she should be enraged, sad, jealous, or just empty.

"You were engaged to her?" she confirmed dryly.

"In the technical sense, but it wasn't real. You can't even classify it as an actual engagement when we didn't even have a relationship."

"You liked her, you kissed her, and you guys agreed to get married?"

"We were kids! We didn't know anything about anything!"

"You were going to marry her?" she restated.

"It's means nothing to me now."

"Well, it obviously meant something to you as a kid."

"Yeah, as a _kid_!" he repeated. "I got older and I grew out of it."

"How long did it take for you to forget that promise?"

"After Kate moved away and as time went on, I just didn't see the point because I didn't think I was ever going to see her again."

"Wait, as time went on?" she echoed. "So you actually held on to it even after she moved?"

Eli had the sinking feeling this conversation was going to go down on a more unpleasant road. This was exactly why he didn't tell her in the first place, plus he didn't think it was necessary to talk about.

"Only for a year or two afterwards."

"Wow," she said with a less-than-amused chuckle. "You must've had some strong feelings for her if you waited two years to forget about it. And how long did it take for you to get over Julia? A few months?"

"I didn't have many friends as a kid, and the small so-called 'engagement' was the only proof that I did, indeed, have a really good friend. I eventually left behind the idea of marrying her, but I thought about it at times. I thought about what would happen if she didn't move away; would we still be friends, would things happen, or would we just continue on as usual? Then I met Julia and I decided I didn't want to be with Kate anymore and I never thought about her since then. I met you not long afterwards and I decided I didn't want to be with anyone else."

"Cut the crap!" she snapped. She wasn't in the mood to hear one of his devotion speeches right now; she was too angry and devastated.

"I'm being serious," he promised. "I was just a kid who knew nothing about love; but now I do and I can never, ever, _ever _have those kinds of feelings for Kate past, present, or future."

"Eli, what happened to us promising to be honest?"

"That doesn't mean we have to tell each other every single aspect of our lives," he retorted. "And we agreed to only talk about these kinds of things if they affect our relationship. This doesn't affect anything."

"You told me she was just a friend! It's obvious that she was much more than that!"

"I was six! Everyone over exaggerates when they'll that age. Sure, when I was six I thought she was more than a friend, but looking back on it she was just my _best_ _friend_."

"Who you wanted to marry!" she reminded as she stood off the bed.

"I can't believe you're getting upset about this!" Eli shouted as he got up as well. "It's not a big deal."

"If it was such a big deal, why didn't you tell me?" Clare demanded. "It's when you pull stunts like this that make me aggravated with you."

"What did you want me to say? 'Clare, this is Kate. I thought I was going to marry her when we were six, I kissed her, and I had an immature crush on her. Let's be friends'? If I did that you would've hated her since she got here."

"Congratulations!" Clare flared sarcastically. "You gave her a month of not being on my bad side!"

"But now you hate her more than ever, don't you?"

"I'll get over the fact that you guys had a history, but you didn't tell me –."

"There was no good time to tell you! But now you know and you also know that everything we said way back when means zilch to me! It could be erased from history right now I wouldn't care!"

"But Kate would! It's obvious that she's still affected by it! I even bet she thought that she had a chance with you once you guys met again!"

"You think she expected me to be waiting for her after all these years?"

"It's possible!"

"Clare, I talked to Kate and she said that she had many boyfriends over the past decade, so that proves that she moved on!"

"Then she's definitely interested in starting up something new with you!"

"I thought we settled the Kate supposedly liking me situation!"

"We never settled anything! You just told me that I had nothing to worry about, but we never really sorted anything out!"

"Clare, this is crazy! I love you and you know that! Why should she even matter?"

"Have you ever thought that maybe she might try something to steal you away?" Clare demanded.

"No, because she _doesn't – like – me_!" he stated for the umpteenth time.

Clare rolled her eyes.

"It sometimes amazes me how blind you can be!"

"I thought we agreed that we weren't going to fight anymore!" Eli reminded harshly.

"Evidently that isn't gonna happen!"

"I guess not!"

"Fine!" she yelled. She picked her bag before storming out of his room and out of his house. He shook his head in anger and collapsed onto the bed.

* * *

"_Why don't you come right out and say it? _

_Even if the words are probably gonna hurt_

_I'd rather have the truth _

_Than something insincere"_

_~"Come Right Out and Say It" by Relient K_

* * *

Okay, there you go! Are you guys happy now that you know the secret? Obviously some of you were on the right track with it, but I hope it was still unexpected to a certain extent. I hope you guys are enjoying the constant updates (seriously guys! I've added approximately thirteen chapters in eight weeks). Once school starts back up in a few weeks, I'm not sure how often I'll be updating, but I'm aiming to publish once every one to two weeks. Reviews (but please don't eat me)!


	26. Knives and Pens

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for reviewing anyone! Let's keep them rolling in! BTW: Vlog 2 is up on YouTube! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but that bowl of Ramen in ALLLLL mine! So back off shorty!

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Six

Knives and Pens

Eli was still annoyed and angry the next day. He didn't call or text Clare with the usual offer to give her a ride to school and he didn't call her last night to talk. This was probably their worst and longest fight to date and neither of them believed that they were in the wrong.

Eli knew Clare was overreacting. He wasn't questioning _her_ about her relationships with any of her friends of the opposite sex, so why did she have to do the same to him?

Clare, however, believed she had every right to ask plus more. His and Kate's promise to get married still meant something to Kate and, although Eli denied it, he was going to have to realize that sooner or later before the worst happened. Plus he didn't tell her the truth from the start, so this automatically made her feel like the past meant something to him. She wanted to believe him when he said it wasn't, but what other logical reason did he have to keep it from her?

Each of their thoughts stirred in their heads that Tuesday morning, which resulted in a very unpleasant confrontation when they met at their lockers.

Eli was at his first and he had no aspiration to see Clare or talk to her today. If she wanted to overreact about a childish promise he made long ago, that was her choice but he didn't want to be a part of it. He wrenched his locker open and tried to keep his focus on it. He really didn't want to be here today. He had half a mind to skip, but he knew that his Physics mark couldn't take a hit so he decided to stay.

He was about to close his locker and walk down the hall, but he saw in Clare his peripheral vision. She was opening her own locker and intentionally avoiding Eli's existence.

He attempted to keep his eyes to his own area of storage, but he couldn't keep words to himself anymore. The anger, disbelief, plus a hint of hurt finally found a way to be expressed in words and he spoke.

"I don't get why you're upset."

"I know you don't," Clare sneered while she continued to avoid his eye. "But I already explained it to you and I really don't want to again."

Eli rolled his eyes and remembered all the reasons why she was so displeased with him.

"I didn't lie to you about anything," he reminded as he turned in her direction.

"You told me that what you and Kate had was just friendship."

"And we did. That's all it was."

"A friendship that led to a promise to get married," she recalled.

"It wasn't a real promise!" Eli restated. "I was a kid! How many times do I have to say it?"

"Okay," Clare activated while turning to face him. "We're teenagers now, so ten years from now are you going to tell someone that you loving me and promising to be with me forever wasn't a real promise either?"

"That's _completely_ different," he argued. "I barely knew how to spell my name correctly back then, how could you expect me to know what love was? Not only would that not make any sense, but it would be completely insane!"

Clare shook her head and slammed her locker.

"What do you want me to say?" Eli demanded as he closed his own locker. "Do you want me to apologize for making a stupid arrangement that I made when I was six when I had no idea that you were out there in the world? Fine, I'm sorry!"

"Whoa, what's going on over here?" Adam asked as he rushed towards the feuding couple. They didn't take his presence into account and simply continued to argue.

"You're right," she scoffed. "You really have no idea why I'm so upset."

"If you want to tell me why, I'm not stopping you! I wouldn't mind us seeing eye-to-eye on something!"

"I told you last night! It's not that you guys promised that! I know that you were both children and I understand that we all say things we don't mean when we're so young! What's making me so upset is that you lied to me!"

"I didn't lie!" he protested once again.

"You still didn't tell me what really happened. All this time you deceived me by telling me you were just friends as kids when really you guys had more going on at that age."

"Well I'm sorry I don't give you every little detail of my life," he snapped with sarcasm.

"Eli, that's not a little detail, that's a huge factor."

"A factor of what?"

"Kate's feelings for you."

"Will you stop with this Kate likes me crap?"

"Not until you realize it," Clare answered.

Eli clasped his hand together in an attempt to control his temper and not completely erupt.

"Why is it so important that I didn't tell you?"

"Did you completely block-out everything I said last night? You not telling me about that makes me think there's a reason you hid it for so long."

"I don't believe that you're refusing to see my side of this."

"You're not exactly seeing mine either!"

"I see that you're making something out of nothing!"

Clare and Eli exchange stares of fury for a few seconds. Adam looked back and forth between them while waiting for one of them to speak.

"Feel free to discuss your ideas with the head conspiracy theorist because I'm done listening," Eli snarled at Clare before walking away.

"Maybe I will!" she hollered to him down the hall. "And while I do that, you can continue to believe that your secret grade one romance means nothing to anyone!"

They watched Eli go down the hall without looking back. Clare was now seething and all she wanted was to rip someone's head off . . . preferably Kate's.

"I guess you know now," Adam speculated.

Clare's outrage was about to reach the point of explosion at the beginning of the day, but now she believed that just two or three more negative statements or events would make her explode. She turned to Adam and crossed her arms at him when she took into account what he said.

"You knew the whole time and you didn't tell me?"

"I promised Eli I wouldn't say anything and I had to honor that; it's a part of the Guy Code."

"Adam, there's no such thing as the Guy Code!"

"Still, I promised to keep my trap shut."

Clare sighed angrily as she ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

"If you want to talk about what happened –," Adam began to offer.

"Fine, this is what happened! Eli promised to marry Kate as a kid and he doesn't think that it's important when it is! There has to be a reason behind him not telling me and I know it's because the promise still means something to him even though he says it doesn't! End of story!"

Now fully believing that this was going to be a very bad day, Clare walked towards her History class. Adam stood there and, for the first time in his memory, he didn't meet Clare's view at all. Surprised, he walked to Calculus where he saw Eli sitting in his desk studying his Physics textbook.

He stepped into the room and sat on the desk in front of Eli's.

"Don't say you saw this coming," Eli warned without looking up.

"Actually –."

"I know exactly what you're going to say. You're going to say I should've told Clare from the beginning and I'm in the wrong and I'm an idiot."

"On the contrary, I'm actually on your side here."

Eli didn't believe his ears for a second, so he looked up at Adam and saw that he wore a very serious demeanor on his face.

"You're on my side?"

"I know I've been on hers a lot lately, but I just . . . I don't get why she's thinking you lied."

"Thank you!" he exclaimed.

"And why the heck does she think that you have a deeper reason for not telling her?"

"Maybe it's a chick thing," Eli concluded. "They look for deeper reasons for everything."

It was refreshing to have Adam on his team completely for once, but that didn't ease his anger.

"Hey boys," Kate greeted as she walked into the room. "And how are my friends doing today?"

She took one look at Eli's face and she saw the answer to her own question.

"Bad day today, Eli?"

"Bad day today, bad day yesterday, it's just all –."

"Bad?" Kate guessed. "I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say you and Clare had a blowout?"

Eli didn't answer; instead he closed his Physics book and rubbed his eyes.

"Want to talk?"

Adam rolled his eyes as Kate tried to cling to Eli again.

"He's just a bit aggravated," he tried to explain to her.

"Well, keeping it bottled-up isn't going to help. Come on, this is like the second fight you and Clare had in less than a week. Surely you –."

"I'm fine," he reassured. "But can I ask you a question since you're a girl and everything?"

_Don't say something stupid Eli. Please don't say something stupid, _Adam pleaded in his head.

"Sure," Kate permitted.

"Why do woman try to find the deeper meanings for every little thing?"

_Nice_, Adam criticized.

"Well . . . it depends on the situation. Sometimes we do it out of fear, sometimes out of love, and sometimes just because the occasion calls for it. For instance, if some random guy stole my car, I would think of every single reason why that person would want to do that because there's a motive behind it."

"Yeah, but that makes sense; anyone would do the same thing if their car was stolen. But what if that isn't the case?"

"Um . . . I guess you have to see it from the person's point-of-view. That's all I can say," she said honestly.

Eli was tired of fighting with Clare. He knew that these kinds of things happen in a relationship, but he wanted to believe that what they had was more. Unfortunately not even their bond was able to stop their confrontations. However, he did hope that it would able to resolve the fights they had in the present and the future.

()()

Clare and Eli didn't yell at each other whenever they met in the halls. Instead they avoided each other on all accounts. But Clare didn't want to sit in the front row of English class again and draw attention to the fact that she and Eli were having another fight, so she got to the room before the three seniors and sat in her usual seat. Once she did, she got out her homework from last night and started looking over it just so she wouldn't have to see Eli when he walked in.

Adam, Kate, and Eli took their usual seats; Eli looked to the front of the room so he wouldn't have to glance at Clare.

"Are you guys okay?" Kate asked; she was still curious as to what their fight was about.

Eli turned to Kate, who was sitting across from him, and tried to not look at his girlfriend.

"Super," he said sarcastically.

Kate, unfortunately, caught on to the sarcasm.

"What's going on with you two?" she asked. Clare saw the false care she was trying to present.

"Stuff that's none of your business," she muttered.

"What?" Kate asked, obviously not hearing Clare.

"Nothing," Eli said quickly before Clare spoke again; he heard what she said and one of the last things he wanted was for this to turn into screaming match between her and Kate.

"Doesn't sound like nothing to me," Kate replied.

"It's nothing," Clare said through clenched teeth.

"Sorry, I'll butt out," she accepted as she held her hands up in surrender before facing the front of the room.

Eli rolled his eyes. Just because Clare was angry at him didn't mean she had to take it out on everyone around her. He turned his head enough to present to Clare that he was about to talk to her, but not so far as to actually see her face.

"You know, you don't have to be so rude," he muttered to her.

"Look who's talking," she riposted.

"Guys," Adam said in a low whisper so Kate wouldn't get involved. "This is stupid. Can't you two just talk this out like civilized human-beings or something?"

"I'm willing too, but Mr. Goldsworthy here is in denial," Clare stated.

"I'm not in denial! You're just overreacting about this whole thing."

"Will you stop saying that? I'm not overreacting about anything."

"No, I won't stop saying it because you are!"

"Is there a problem back there?" Miss Dawes said from the front of the class.

Eli turned all the way around in his seat as Clare crossed her arms.

"No ma'am," she said while glaring at the back of Eli's head. "It's fine."

"Good. Let's keep it that way."

Class began once Dawes was done scolding them. Kate didn't try to put her nose in Clare and Eli's business and no one else in the group exchanged anymore harsh words for remainder of the period. The subject was dropped once the class started and it continued throughout the study period Drama meeting. Kate was unable to ask questions since had to go rehearse. Eli and Adam worked on one thing while Clare worked on another by herself. She saw that Adam didn't agree with her, but she didn't care. She knew she was right in this instance and, until Eli saw that, she was going to keep her distance.

* * *

"_Every day it's still the same dull knife_

_Stab it through and justify your pride"_

_~"Knives and Pens" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

I'm sorry to say that I won't be updating this story until these new episodes of Degrassi have premiered. This way all of us can get over the EClare drama and accept the fact that one of the greatest couples of all time is kaput (done, out, squished, burned at the stake, crucified, and any other torturous actions) on the show. I'll still be writing this, but I won't put up anymore chapters until the summer is over. I may update Chapter 27, but after that nothing else. Sorry guys, but I can't write drama when all this suckish drama is going to happen in the show. I promise constant updates once everything settles down. The only chance of updating before then is if Eli and Clare get back together (fingers crossed).

Shutting up now, REVIEWS!


	27. Sorry

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks again for reviewing and I also like to thank all who told me that this is one of their favorite stories on this site or that this story is helping them get over the breakup on the show. Those comments mean so much to me; when I first started writing this, I thought that very few people would like it, but I was proven wrong, and that makes me happy! Thank you guys!

This will probably be the last chapter I publish until the new episodes are done airing. I promise that I'll work on chapters whenever I'm not too angry about the breakup to work on them. I'm not done writing; I'm just done updating for the time being. Don't worry everyone, this story isn't going anywhere but up once I'm mellow(ish) again.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . but do you think they'll sell it to me? I have a money box shaped like Darth Vader's head and it's full of quarters! Do you think that'll be enough to persuade the people that do own it?

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Sorry

Clare didn't sit with Eli, Adam, or Kate at lunch that day. She and Eli still made no progress whatsoever in resolving their issues and they continued to ignore each other's existence. They didn't know how long this dispute between them was going to last, but neither of them were willing to back down.

Instead of eating in the cafeteria, she went outside and sat at a picnic table. She was furious, hurt, and, quite frankly, she wanted nothing to do with Eli, Kate, not even Adam, who was still taking Eli's side in this battle.

Hoping that one person in this world would agree with her, Clare pulled out her cell phone. Thankful that Alli's school and Degrassi had the same lunch schedule and they were allowed to use phones at the same time, she dialed her friend's number and waited for her to answer.

"Hey Clare," she greeted.

"Hi," she replied.

"What's going on?"

"Well, I talked to Eli about that promise he and Kate made years ago."

"Finally!" Alli exclaimed. "Did you ask him or did he just decide to tell you?"

"I asked him and it took a bit of convincing but he finally spilled."

"What did he tell you?"

"Oh not much . . . just that he was going to marry Kate."

"What?"

"You heard me," Clare said.

"What happened when he told you?" Alli coaxed.

"We got into a fight and now we're avoiding each other."

"When did it start?"

"Last night and we had another nasty go at it this morning. He's being so frustrating and he's getting mad at me for no reason at all! This is driving me crazy, Alli!"

"Okay, calm down. Breath," she instructed.

Clare took a few breaths and tried to keep her emotions in check.

"Now start from the beginning," Alli requested.

Clare told Alli everything that happened the night before and what occurred less than six hours ago. She used extensive details and tried not leave anything out. Alli listened carefully to Clare's story until it was completed.

". . . and now he thinks that I have no reason whatsoever to be upset. Can you believe that?"

Alli was silent as she thought about what Clare just said.

"Clare, I know that I'm your my best friend and I know I'm supposed to support you when it comes to guy and whore problems, but I see Eli's point in this case," Alli admitted.

"What?" she snapped.

"Think about it Clare."

"I've been thinking about it since he told me about it and –."

"Have you considered why he didn't tell you?"

"Because it is important to him and he doesn't want me to know."

"I'm sorry, but that's just ridiculous."

"How is it ridiculous?" Clare demanded.

"All he's been telling you is how it doesn't matter to him, so I think you should believe him."

"Then what other reason is there for him to not tell me?"

"I don't know, but I'm pretty certain he didn't do it because he thought he needed to hide something from you."

"Alli –," she tried to say, but she was cut-off.

"I'm sorry, I have to get going. Just think about what I said, alright?"

"Fine," she groaned. "I call you later."

"Bye," Alli said before Clare closed her phone.

()()

For rest of that day, Clare didn't speak to Eli but she pondered what Alli said to her. She replayed last night, this morning, and her conversation with Alli in her head. She took both Eli's and Alli's points into account when she realized who was the real victim in this situation.

Then final bell rang and she raced out of her class to find Eli. She saw him at his locker and she went straight towards him. She resisted the temptation to take him in her arms; if she did that she knew he would just turn away. Clare realized that she had to explain to Eli how she was feeling and how wrong she was.

"Eli," she greeted.

"Clare," he replied coldly without looking at her.

"Can I talk to you?"

"I don't want to have another dispute about my past right now, thank you," he snapped sarcastically.

Clare knew she deserved that, but it still made her feel worse about being so harsh to him for the twenty-two hours.

Eli didn't realize what he said until the words came out of his mouth. Clare was there acting civil and he jumped down her throat. He closed her locker before looking at her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean –."

"Forget it," she disregarded. "Look, I've thought about our fight all day and I really want to talk to you about it so we could work a few things out."

Eli licked his top lip and thought about this. He didn't want this conversation to create another disagreement.

"I was wrong," Clare confessed before he protested to talking about this.

"Okay, I'm listening," Eli accepted as the two of them walked towards the Art room to do more work for the play.

Clare took a deep breath and prepared to give the best apology she could.

"I overreacted _big_ time last night and this morning. I was immature, childish, and I made a bigger deal out of it than it really was. I should've listened to you from the beginning and I should've believed you when you said it was in the past, you were kids, and I know it doesn't affect you today. I'm really, really sorry for starting this whole thing and letting it continue on like this."

"It's okay," he reassured as they stepped into the Art room.

"No, I was a jerk and I feel terrible about this whole thing."

Before Eli was able to say anything else, Clare pulled a black notebook out of her bag; it was the story Eli gave her to read on Friday after their last fight.

"Peace offering part two," Clare explained as she handed him the notebook back. "It's really, _really_ good."

"Thanks," he replied softly.

"So . . . are we fine now?" she asked hopefully.

Eli put his story in his bag before turning back to Clare.

"Are you still upset that I did and said all those things as a kid?"

"You were six and it was a long time ago; I'm fine with it," she answered with complete honestly.

"Then I suppose we're good," he said before turning up the corners of his mouth. "And I'm sorry for yell–."

"No, don't apologize. You have nothing to say sorry for."

"But –," he attempted to protest.

"Zip it," she said as she raised her eyebrows.

"I just –."

"Elijah Nicholas," she said warningly.

Eli believed that he should apologize to her for yelling at her and being cold to her all day, but it was obvious that Clare didn't want to hear it, so he simply sighed, "okay" before Clare gave him a loving grin.

He had also been thinking of their disagreement constantly that day and he saw where Clare was coming from. Now all he wanted was for her to really understand why he never told her about him and Kate.

"Do you really want to know why I didn't tell you?" he asked as they walked towards the table to finish painting a paper-mâché sword.

"If you want to tell me," she permitted.

"I didn't do it because I was intentionally hiding it from you. Other than Kate, me, and our parents, only one person knew."

"Who was that?"

"Adam," Eli continued. "I told him about it after I told you about Julia. He wanted to be sure there were no other reasons that prevented me from going-out with you, so I told him about Kate and I and I reassured him that it wasn't going to happen since my 'feelings' for her were in the past, I already dated Julia, and I started having strong feelings for you."

Clare tried not to grin since he was being very sincere, but hearing him say that he had feelings for her although he was still recovering from Julia made her heart flutter a little bit.

"Anyway," he proceeded. "Like I told you last night, after I met Julia I didn't want to be with Kate. Those feelings for her were dissolving as the years went by and they completely disappeared after I met you. Not after I started dating you, but when I actually met you. I guess what I'm trying to say is that what Kate I had means so little to me that I didn't find it important to tell you. Maybe I should've but I just want you to understand that I meant it when I told you that Kate and I's thing means nothing to me. The only thing important to me is what you and I have; not what Kate and I had and not what I thought Julia and I had. What we have is real and everything else I had with any other girl doesn't matter to me. Please understand that."

"I do," Clare replied. "Again, I'm really sorry."

Eli wrapped the arm that wasn't holding a paintbrush around her shoulders and pulled her into a one-armed hug. He planted a kiss on her hair to show her that he was also sorry, that he forgave her, and he just wanted things to be normal between them again. They then looked at each other and they both put genuine smiles on their faces.

"I love you," he promised.

"I love you too."

He removed his arm from her shoulders and they began to work again.

"Did I just hear those three little magic words?" Adam said as he joined them at the table.

"You did," Clare smiled.

"Thank God," he sighed in relief. "Now can the universe _please_ stay in balance for at least a week or two?"

"You got it bro," Eli nodded.

"And, just to let you guys know, next time you get into a fight I'm going to remain Switzerland. So don't go all Germany and USA on me."

()()

The remainder of the Drama meeting was pleasant. Eli, Clare, and Adam were all talking and being kind to each other again. The meeting was over at five and everyone began to depart.

"Well, it's time for me and Han Solo to get out of here. I tell you, I _love_ having a car."

"Does this mean you'll be the chauffer of the group every now and then?" Eli asked. "Morty and I do need to rest sometimes you know."

"I guess I will," Adam accepted. "And I will gladly accept tips."

Eli was about to say something sarcastic, but Adam rushed out of the room before anything came out of his mouth.

"Damn, I had a really good tip for him too," Eli complained as he and Clare cleaned the paint off their hands.

"What was it?"

"Don't ask me for a tip unless you want it deposited up your nose."

"Lovely," Clare kidded. "I'll add asking for tips to my list of things not to say around you."

"You actually have a list?" Eli asked as they dried off their hands; he could tell that she was just teasing him.

"Now I do and it has two things on it. One, don't ask for tips from you. Two, don't mock heavy metal."

"I'm sorry, but that's pure blasphemy," he stated with a grin. "Is your mom picking you up?" he asked as he and Clare grabbed their backpacks.

"I told her I was just going to walk home today," Clare said.

"Well, if you're not in a hurry, how does a makeup coffee date sound?" he invited her. "It's on me."

Clare smiled and pulled his arm so it was around her waist before she draped an arm over his shoulders. They left the Art room and made their way down the hall.

"While we're there we should probably get more studying so you're ready for that Physics test tomorrow."

"Why did you have to remind me of that?" Eli groaned.

"It's my duty as your girlfriend to be sure you succeed."

Eli playfully rolled his eyes. Clare placed a kiss on his cheek before she rested her head on his shoulder.

"We have to stop fighting so much," she stated as they walked out of Degrassi.

"I agree. We need to stop the arguments and discuss things calmly without biting each other's heads off."

"Exactly," she replied. "And we should see it through the other's eyes before jumping to conclusions."

"And let's try our hardest to not to let any arguments continue for as long as they did today," Eli added.

"From this point on, it's all honesty and good communication," she said.

"Sounds good to me," Eli accepted as he tried to block out the rehearsal incident with Kate from nearly two months ago.

Clare stopped when they reached Morty and locked her hands behind his torso under his black jacket. Eli cupped her upper arms as she smiled up at him.

"Then I guess we have an understanding," she said.

"I suppose so," he grinned at her. "Can we make it official?"

Clare beamed at him before kissing him on the lips. He returned her kiss passionately before she held him tighter. He deepened the kiss, but Clare saw what he was doing. She released his body and lips.

"Quit stalling; we're going to study one way or another."

"Fine," Eli sighed before he released her.

They climbed into the hearse and began to pull out of the Degrassi parking lot.

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask you about that job you applied for," Clare said suddenly.

"Um . . . I didn't get it," he answered huskily.

"What?" she said in disbelief. "Eli, I'm sorry."

Clare was partly relieved knowing that Kate wasn't going to be working with him and that meant she wouldn't be able to flirt with him as much, but Clare knew how much he wanted to get this job.

"Thanks, but I'll get over it."

"Was it because they didn't think you could do the work or something like that?"

"No, they just filled all the positions available."

"Well, at least it's not because they don't think you're reliable."

"I guess. And it seems that Kate's just going to be working there by herself," Eli mentioned.

"I guess so," Clare replied. She kept her voice nonchalant, but in her head she heard the Hallelujah chorus.

* * *

"_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue_

_I'm sorry about all things I said to you__"_

_~"Sorry" by Buckcherry_

* * *

I figured I should put in the makeup chapter since I'm not updating for a while. You awesome readers deserve it! (Hint: if I get enough reviews and if the show gets a bit better, I may update before the new episodes finish).

I'm hoping Eli and Clare get back together soon or at least become friends again (but I obviously prefer it if they were together). I'm going to HATE seeing Eli/Imogen and Jake/Clare (shudders all around). But, if they don't get back together on the show, at least we have fanfiction right? Sure it's not exactly the same thing, but in the end it is ALL just fiction (which is never set in stone so people can make it what they want it . . . you know as long as everything is legal). REVIEWS please!


	28. Change

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the reviews and everything guys! This is my thanks to you . . .

My sister told me that members of the Black Veil Brides (best band EVER) get hurt on occasion, but that doesn't stop them from touring. And she's right (seriously, 3 members were seriously injured in less than a year I don't think they've stopped touring once as a group). I guess what I'm trying to say is that just because EClare is kaput on the show doesn't mean it should stop me from writing about this AMAZING couple and how I think they should be! Long story short, I'm going back on what I've been saying and I won't wait until the new episodes are done airing! Hopefully I'll be able to update once a week if all my writer's blocks are defeated. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Person: Do you own Degrassi? Me: No, but thanks for reminding me (then I run away crying like a little girl).

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Change

The first week of December arrived at Degrassi. The temperatures dropped and all students were anticipating winter break. It was approaching at a fast pace, so mid-semester exams were coming up along with the Drama Club's presentation of _Romeo and Juliet_.

The students were staying after school for two hours every day now to do work and finish the sets. It was taking a toll on all the students who had to juggle homework, studying, Drama, and more. Thankfully for Eli and Clare, they didn't have to worry about memorizing lines; their main concern for the play now was finish painting the sets with the rest of the crew.

"I seriously never want to look at another paintbrush ever, _ever_ again," Eli stated tiredly as he and Clare entered the Dot after the meeting on Tuesday.

"Just another three days and then we're done," she reminded as they slid into a booth.

"Then we can sit back and watch the performances while everyone admires our handiwork."

"Exactly," Clare agreed before a waiter took their orders.

They both ordered some coffee; the snow was coming down outside, so they needed something warm inside their bodies. They watched the white precipitation cover the outdoors while they waited for their beverages to arrive.

"So have any plans over winter break?" Clare asked him as they pulled out their books to get started on some studying and homework.

"I'm probably just going to stay home and spend some time with the parentals. What about you?"

"Well, Darcy is coming home for Christmas in a week or so, and then she, my mom, and I are going to Brantford to visit that side of the family. Then Darcy and I are going with my dad to Peterborough to see the Edwards side."

"Sounds like a lot of traveling," Eli said. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Clare sighed as she continued to gaze out the window. "This is just going to be the first time that we haven't had Christmas together as a family, so it's a bit sad, but I'll be fine."

Eli saw passed the charade Clare was putting on and took her hand. At his touch, Clare turned her head to face him and she knew that he saw the pain in her eyes.

"If you ever need to talk about it, call me okay?"

Clare gave him a small grin.

"I would, but I don't think you'd want to be on the phone with me every single day for two whole weeks."

"Try me," he dared.

"Thank you," Clare smiled at him before leaning across the table to plant a gentle kiss on his cheek.

Their coffees came a few minutes later and they attempted to do some homework.

"I think teachers intentionally put on a bigger workload just before a big break just so they can feel satisfied about ruining our lives," Eli complained as he struggled to do his Calculus homework.

Clare rolled her eyes at him as she did her French homework.

"I promise I won't become one of those teachers," she reassured; Clare was planning being a writer after she graduated university, but until then she was going to teach English.

Eli looked up at her and grinned as she worked. He soon began to think about something that had been on his mind for a while but he never brought up. Two weeks had passed since he and Clare vowed to not fight anymore and he wanted nothing more than to keep that promise. As the days went by, however, he noticed a change in Clare that was disturbing him. Every time she was close to Kate or whenever he mentioned her, he noticed that his girlfriend seemed fairly uncomfortable. Eli also took into account that she avoided Kate's eyes and she tried to not include herself in any conversations with her.

It was difficult to fathom that weeks ago they all got along, now Clare couldn't hear Kate's name without venom rushing through her veins. He understood that Clare didn't particularly like Kate because of the so-called flirting she was doing with him, but he didn't want her to feel upset all the time; he was with Kate in classes most of the day and he and Clare barely had a moment together alone outside Degrassi. Even though he didn't see what Kate was doing, he saw that it was affecting Clare and he didn't want to put her through that.

Unfortunately he was afraid of getting into an argument about it with Clare that he kept his mouth closed. But he realized that everything could get worse if he didn't do anything to sort out this problem now.

"Can I talk to you about something?" he finally asked.

"Uh-oh, you're using your serious voice," Clare noted.

"I tend to use my serious voice when I need to talk about something serious."

"What's wrong?" she said while she looked at him.

"Do you still think Kate is flirting with me?" he asked bluntly.

"That's completely random, don't you think?" Clare asked when all she really wanted to do was avoid the subject of Kate.

"Oh I know it. But do you honestly still think that?"

Clare thought for a second before answering. Since Eli and Clare's last fight, she tried to keep all conversations about Kate to a minimum. However, she was noticing Kate's flirts more and more every day. She wasn't sure if she was just being paranoid because Eli told Clare about the past or if Kate was actually increasing her amorous advances.

"How angry would you be at me if I said that I am?"

"I wouldn't be, but can we talk about it? I don't want us getting into a fight about it later on down the road, so let's just nip it in the bud."

Clare, who also didn't have any desires to get into any kind of disagreement, let alone one about Kate, closed her French book and put it to the side.

"Alright, but what do you want me to say?"

"Just tell me why you think she's flirting with me," he requested of her. "I promise I'll listen and I won't get mad."

"It's just . . . the way she acts around you and the way she always wants to be by your side. When she's with you she just acts like you two are the ones in a relationship and she can care less that you're already seeing someone. She gives you these looks, she touches you in a too playful manner, and she bats her eyelashes at you and everything. I know it all seems harmless and it was at first, but I can only watch it for so long until I feel . . ." she trailed off, not quite sure what to say. "Remember how I felt about Julia a few months ago? How I felt kind of threatened and stuff?"

"Yeah," Eli recalled.

"It's kind of like that, but it's not because I think she can make you happier or anything."

"Then why? I don't understand."

Clare bit her bottom lip as she tried to find a way to give her explanation.

"This whole situation just feels too familiar for me," she confessed.

_Idiot_, Eli groaned in his head. He should've known that her past experience with her ex was going to still affect her.

"Because of what happened with K.C?" he assumed.

She simply nodded.

"I know it shouldn't worry me, but it does. I can't help it; I just see her with you and I feel like that same girl from grade nine who got kicked out of her boyfriend's life because some innocent flirts escalated to actual feelings that couldn't be ignored."

Eli looked down at his almost empty cup of coffee and began to contemplate about what should be done. He refused to let Clare feel this way anymore; he understood why she felt that way so he knew he should do something to cease those horrid emotions. He lifted his head until he was looking her straight in the eye.

"Alright, this is obviously upsetting you more than I thought and I hate seeing you like this, so I'll just tell Kate that she and I can't hang-out as much anymore. In class I'll sit somewhere else and I'll ask her to sit someplace else at lunch."

"Eli, I told you before that I don't want you to sacrifice a friendship for me."

"You're happiness more important; I don't want to put on fake smiles or anything so I'll talk to her."

Clare shook her head with sad eyes. Eli was being so kind to consider doing this for her, but it made her feel relieved yet horrible.

"If you shove away your oldest friend, who was a huge part of your life as a kid, all because of me, that just shows that I'm a selfish girlfriend who doesn't deserve you."

"You're not selfish, but if I keep things going as they are while knowing that you're uncomfortable around Kate, then I'll feel like I'm inconsiderate and I don't deserve you."

Clare took in a few breaths of air before looking back out the window.

"I guess neither of us is going to be happy no matter what we do."

Eli's stomach churned as his heart began to pound to harder against his chest. He had a feeling that something was about to take place . . . something that he never wanted to happen between him and Clare.

"What should we do?" he asked in a low voice.

Clare turned back to him and tried to not let the tears form in her eyes.

"I don't want us to, but maybe we should . . . we should take some time apart so we could try and figure out how to handle this."

She grabbed her belongings and slid out of the booth. Eli's instincts quickly took over and he stood up and pulled Clare's body into his; he was appeased when she didn't protest or pull away. A tear was able to leak out of her eye, but the rest of them dissolved as he held her.

"You realize that is absolutely crazy, right?" he said to her.

"I know," Clare replied. "But I don't know what else to do."

"We could talk about this. Let's just sit down, talk, and not decide anything until we're done," he suggested. "Okay?"

The idea registered to Clare instantaneously; she pulled out of the embrace and she sat back down. Eli sighed in relief and he slid in the booth again. He took Clare's hand out of fear that she might try and walk away again.

"What if I do something prove to you that Kate doesn't like me?"

"And how are you going to do that?"

"In case you've forgotten, I'm Eli Goldsworthy. I'll think of something."

Clare smiled a little while letting out a small laugh.

"I don't know Eli," she said once her face turned somber once again.

"Please," he said. "One chance and if you still see her flirting with me after that, I'll cut off all ties to her."

"I just told you that I didn't want you to leave her behind for my sake."

"But I can't just stand by and let you feel this way. If I at least do something to figure out how she really feels about me, we'll know that whatever we do is the right thing. For instance, if she does like me, we'll both know it and I won't have to feel bad about leaving her in the dust. And if she doesn't like me, you wouldn't have a reason to feel uncomfortable when she's around. See?"

To Clare, the idea seemed almost genius and practical; she just hoped that it would work and she and Eli could move on with their lives without living in fear.

"If you do this and she still clings to you every second she gets . . .?"

"I'll kick her out of my life faster than you can say Megadeth."

"And you won't blame me if you do?"

"No, because I'll know that I did it for good reason."

Clare thought about it one last time before reaching her decision.

"One chance," she said warningly.

"That's all I need," Eli grinned. "Now I just to think of the plan."

"Don't put too much strain on yourself to think of one right now; we have exams in less than a week and you still have to bring up that Physics grade," Clare reminded with a miniscule smile.

()()

Eli raced down the hall the next morning until he was at Clare's side.

"Clare, do you know what the beauty of leftover pizza is?"

"Um . . . it's better than how it is the first day?" she guessed although she was taken aback by this odd question.

"Yes, but it also gives me brilliant ideas."

"I take it you thought that plan?"

"Indeed I did."

"Well, are you going to tell me or is top secret?" she urged enthusiastically.

"Alright . . . how about . . ." he paused for emphasis and to build-up the anticipation, "a double date?"

"Care to elaborate?" Clare asked when she had no clue where this was going.

"You see, you, me, Kate, and Adam can go to the movies or dinner or something like that. You and I go as a couple, Kate and Adam go together, the two of them have sparks, _boom_, they get together," Eli prophesized. "What do you think?"

"You think that's going to work?"

"I'm positive."

"Do you really think Adam would go for it? Or Kate for that matter?" Clare asked.

"I'll convince them to come. You know I can be very persuasive," he added with a smirk. Clare overlooked it and continued pressing the matter of this double date.

"But what if they don't have any chemistry?" she inquired.

"I've thought about that. Let's say that you're right and Kate does like me, she'll see us on the date, see that we're inseparable and nothing that can break us up then she'll ease off. It's that simple."

Clare reviewed this in her head; she saw no flaw in the plan so she nodded in approval at Eli.

"Okay, if they both agree to it, I'm in," she obtained.

"Yes," he hollered before crushing his lips to Clare's.

"This plan better work," she apprised once the kiss was over.

"Just you wait, young Edwards," Eli bantered before the bell rang overhead.

"I'll see you in English," Clare smiled at him before she strode down the hall.

"Good," Eli sighed to himself as he made his way towards his Calculus class. "I just have to ask Kate and Adam if they want to go . . . no problem."

()()

"You have a problem," Adam stated bluntly an hour later in the hall.

"What?" Eli asked. He'd just told Adam about the double date plan, but he intentionally left out the part about Adam being Kate's companion.

"You seriously think a double date is going to make Kate stop liking you?" Adam asked as he closed his locker.

"She doesn't like me," he repeated for the umpteenth time since Kate came to Degrassi. "But I'm doing this to prove that to Clare."

"Right, let's say, hypothetically, that she _does_ like you in that way," Adam debated. "Do you honestly think one date will sway her or make Clare less suspicious if Kate and this guy don't hit it off?"

"If the right person goes on this date with us, I'm sure everything will be calm again and we'll be able to move on with our lives."

"I hope so for you and Clare's sake. So what guy are you thinking of . . .?" Adam began, but he trailed off when he saw Eli giving him the puppy pout. "No! No, no, _no_!"

"Come on Adam, please," he begged as he followed Adam down the hall.

"I'm not getting involved in one of your insane schemes," he refused.

"Why not?"

"Because there is no way Kate will be interested in me when she likes you as much as she does."

"She doesn't –," Eli began to protest again.

"Yes she does, you moron!" Adam shouted when he stopped in his tracks and turned around to face Eli. "And if you deny it again I'm going to slap you!"

"Alright," he surrendered. "Just do this so Clare doesn't feel intimidated every time Kate is around."

"But why me? Why not someone else?" he demanded.

"Everyone other decent guy in Degrassi is seeing someone. This is really important, Adam; I wouldn't be asking you otherwise."

"Why can't you just accept that Kate likes you, talk to her, then continue on with your life like a normal person?"

"Because you know I won't accept that since I don't believe it."

"Look, I'm not going! Okay?"

"Please! I need to do this for Clare."

"Or are you doing this for yourself so you don't feel like you're doing anything wrong?"

"What?"

"I'm just going to say this, I think you like her."

"Why would I like her when I love Clare?"

"I was hoping you could tell me. You have something going that millions of people would die for, so don't screw it up by liking and flirting with this other girl who wants nothing more than to tear the love of your life away from you!"

"I'm not doing this stupid double date thing for myself, alright?" Eli retorted. "If I had it my way, I'd let us all move on with our lives and be happy, but that isn't the case. Once we go on this date, she'll see how close Clare and I are or she'll start feeling something for you."

"I don't want her to feel anything for me! I don't want this to become my problem! Remember what happened at that party a few months ago? There was that girl Kelsey there who liked me and I didn't go talk to her and I told you that I wasn't ready to date again," he almost yelled. "I know that Fiona and I broke-up seven months ago, but I'm still not ready to get back on that horse yet."

Eli shook his head in disappointment; he couldn't believe he was so insensitive about this. He knew that Adam didn't want to date and he knew he shouldn't have put him in this position. He was walking a fine line with Adam at this point so he knew better than to ask such favors such as this, but he was in extreme need now.

"I'm not asking you to become her boyfriend. Just please go on one date with her so Clare isn't so distracted by the fact that Kate might like me. Adam, I swear I'll do anything and I'll never ask anything of you ever again."

Adam rolled his eyes before giving this idea a bit of thought.

"How concerned is Clare about this Kate thing?"

"Very," Eli answered.

Eli wasn't exactly in Adam's good books right now because of all the misfortunes that have been happening with Kate, but Clare was the one who was suffering. She was one of his best friends, so he was more than willing to put his emotions on the backburner for one night for her especially when she was feeling so much anguish.

"Fine, I'll go for Clare," Adam accepted. "But you owe me _big_ time."

Eli smiled and clasped his hands together.

"Thank you so much Adam!" he exclaimed. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"You're welcome," Adam replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I don't want to be late for French."

Adam made his way down the hall as Eli tried not to shriek in delight. His plot was beginning to unfold perfectly. Now all he had to do was convince Kate. He walked down the hall and found her rummaging through her locker.

"Hey," Eli greeted happily.

"Hi," she replied. "You seem happy today even though exams are approaching."

"I'm trying to be optimistic," he responded. "Will you be interested on going on a double date?"

Kate grinned before turning to Eli.

"What about your girlfriend?" she asked.

"Well, I was thinking that Clare and I would go as a couple and you and Adam could go together."

Kate's grin slowly faded.

"Uh . . . me and Adam?" she questioned.

"You never know," Eli said. "Stranger things have happened."

"You're trying to set-up me and Adam? Do you really think we'll work?"

"Don't knock it until you try it. I just thought it'd be cool to double-up and all of us do something together," he explained. "Look, if you're not interested –."

"No, it actually sounds like it could be fun."

"Even if you and Adam don't work out?"

"I'll be hanging-out with my best friend," she grinned at him. "Along with his girlfriend and his friend; I'm in."

"Great," Eli said. "Friday work?"

"Looking forward to it," Kate grinned before she closed her locker. "I'll see you around."

"Bye," he disclosed as she walked down the hall. Eli grinned victoriously as he went to find Clare and tell her the good news. He located her sitting in the library; he walked behind her and gently put his hands on her shoulders.

"Great news," he noted when she looked up at him.

"You finally realized that you're in denial?" she teased with a smirk.

"Ha-ha," he laughed blankly before he took a seat next to her. "No, but Kate and Adam both agreed to go on the date with us."

"Seriously?" she exclaimed.

"Yep. Kate's looking forward to it. Just wait, by the end of Friday night everything will be back to normal."

"Normal for our group, you mean," she corrected.

"Precisely," he grinned. "Do you think this'll work?"

"I hope so. What exactly are we going to be doing on this date?" Clare wondered.

"I was thinking we could all go bowling. I know it's not the most romantic date in the world, but it's going to be fun. Then we could eat and have some conversations so Kate and Adam can connect."

"Bowling actually sounds pretty good," Clare commended.

"Then I guess on Friday night we'll be able to go, have some fun, bond, and this mixed-up universe will mellow out once again."

* * *

"_You know it's all the same_

_Another time and place_

_Repeating history and you're getting sick of it_

_But I believe in whatever you do_

_And I'll do anything to see it through"_

_~"Change" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

Eli and Clare are moving on or are going to on the show, we should accept that, but what's the worst that could happen other than that? The only way things get worse between them is that Eli snaps completely and murders Clare (yeah, that's not gonna happen, so we're good). I can't wait to write the double date! Who's looking forward to it? I'll try and update it by Friday or Saturday so we can get over the Imogen crap that's coming! REVIEWS PLEASE!


	29. Can You Feel the Love Tonight

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you for the reviews! Huge thanks to samcabral for that review (I still freaking love you right now and I so hope that you're right)! Once again, I must thank my sister for assisting me with this chapter. Let's give her a round of applause. I'm hoping that the Doctor House of Canada (AKA Senor Goldsworthy) comes to his senses soon on the show! But, in the meantime, read this chapter (it has fluff, hehehe). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Four score and seven years ago, my founding fathers didn't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Can You Feel the Love Tonight

"A bowling double date? With Kate and Adam?" Alli questioned Clare that Friday at five-thirty; Eli was picking her up at six and they were going to meet Adam and Kate at the bowling alley. Until then, she was talking to Alli about tonight's plans via cell phone.

"It's going to be fun," Clare told herself as well as her friend. "We'll bowl, we'll talk, and we'll see how everything goes."

"Do you really think Kate and Adam will connect though?"

"Absolutely not," she answered bluntly as she began to look through her closet.

"Then why did you agree to this?"

"I'm hoping that I'm wrong."

"But if she likes Eli as much as she does, why would she go for Adam?" Alli asked.

"I don't know, Alli, but I just want to see if this could work. Besides, I have a plan if she and Adam don't have anything between them."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to be super flirtatious with Eli tonight until Kate realizes she's wasting her time by liking him."

"_Nice_," Alli approved. "But, whatever you do, don't let Eli and her be alone together for more than a second."

"Oh trust me, I won't. I'll to watch her like a hawk if I have to, but there is no way I'm going to give that witch an opportunity to do anything remotely close to friendly with Eli without getting caught by me."

"Good. Well, I'd love to trash-talk Kate some more, but I've gotta get going. Tell me how it goes."

"I will," Clare promised before hanging-up.

She pulled out a simple slim-fit navy blue shirt, dark jeans, and a black sweater with a golden C on the left breast that Eli gotten her for her sixteenth birthday in April. She changed into the clothes, zipped up the sweater, and pulled on her shoes. As she reapplied some eye make-up, she thought about how she could be coquettish with Eli.

She discussed the date with Adam at Degrassi one day and they saw the same outcome.

"_If you're mushy enough around Eli, she'll see that he's not going to leave you for her," he said that day as they walked down the hall._

"_Did Eli drag you to come with or did you accept it?" she asked._

"_Well, it took some convincing on his part but I agreed. But I don't care if it gets everything back to normal."_

"_Exactly," Clare agreed. "As long as Eli and I can continue our relationship without Kate dragging us down one way or another, I'll be fine. But thanks for coming along."_

"_No prob. I just hope that it turns out that we're wrong and she doesn't like him . . ."_

Clare quickly snapped back to the present when she heard a knock on the door. She grabbed her purse before going down the stairs. She got to the door and braced herself for the frigid December air as she opened it. She grinned when she saw Eli standing there in his black jacket, Dead Hand reunion concert t-shirt, army boots, and black jeans.

"Hi," Clare greeted him as she locked the door behind her. "Ready to go?"

"I was born ready," he replied as he put his arm around her shoulders before walking towards the hearse. They were careful not to slip on the slick snow as they went. Eli opened the passenger door for Clare before making his way to the driver's side. Thankfully, the roads had been cleared so they were safe and no more snow was coming down now except for a few flurries.

They drove to the bowling alley and made small-talk as they did. Clare was trying to think of ways to be extremely flirtatious while Eli concocted ideas to get Kate interested in Adam.

He still didn't believe Clare and Adam about Kate liking him, but he wasn't going to be able to prove anything unless he got one of his best friends to be interested in his other best friend. The only problem was that Adam and Kate didn't seem to have anything in common or any of the same interests. How was she going to be interested in him if they didn't have anything talk about? He began to hope now more than ever that Kate would see how much he and Clare loved each other and ease off if it turned out that she did have feelings for him.

"And we're here," Eli observed as they pulled into the bowling alley parking lot.

"I see Han Solo," Clare pointed at the Nissan. "So I guess they're here as well."

()()

Adam and Kate were waiting inside by the entrance for the other couple to join them in an uncomfortable silence. Adam was standing next to a table near one of the lanes while Kate stood against a wall next to the doors. It was now six-fifteen and Eli and Clare were supposed to be here by now, but no luck. Adam picked-up Kate at her house and they drove here without saying hardly anything; the only time they spoke was when they gave their salutations and attempted to create conversation that ended up fizzling away.

"Um . . ." Adam began. "Ever been bowling before?"

"It's been a while," Kate answered. "You?"

"I came here a few times over summer with the lovebirds; Eli kicked our butts every time."

"I see," she said before looking at the bowling alley to escape the conversation. She couldn't wait for Eli to get here so they could have some fun with Adam and Clare. Until then, she looked around the building.

"Look, I know this is a bit . . ." Adam began when he saw that she wasn't interested in any of the conversations he was trying to start.

"Awkward?" Kate guessed.

"I was going to say mega-weird."

That earned a small giggle from Kate and Adam grinned in a small relief as he continued.

"This has just been my first date-like thing since my last relationship, so I'm a bit . . ."

"Don't worry," Kate comforted as she walked to him and stood by his side. "I haven't been on a date for two years, so I'm in the same boat."

Adam was appeased when he was told this; he knew he wouldn't have to worry about looking like an idiot now, but he understood that he still had to act like this was a bigger deal than it was for Eli and Clare.

"So, since we agree that this is going to be equally awkward for both of us, can we downplay this and just be two friends hanging-out with our other friends."

_Mayday_! Adam screeched in his head. If they were going to be just friends on this date, that meant he was giving her the green light to be friendly with Eli and that was not part of the plan; he had to decline, but he wasn't sure how.

"W-Well . . ." he stammered. "We could . . . or we could see if . . ."

Adam felt himself falling into a snake pit with no way out, but thankfully fate was on his side.

"Hey guys," Eli greeted as he and Clare stepped into the alley. "Who's ready to get this party started?"

They walked to the counter to pay for the game and to rent their bowling shoes. Once they were assigned to their lane, they sat at the table that was with it and began to pull on their shoes.

"How shall we do this?" Adam asked as he did up his laces. "Two on a team or every man for himself?"

"Well, I suck at bowling, so I'm going to need all the help I can get," Clare stated.

"Alright, teams it is. So how should it be?" Adam continued. "Brain versus brawn? Male versus female? Male and female versus male and female?"

"Dibs on Clare being the female on my team," Eli said immediately; Clare couldn't help but grin at his eagerness. "Let's just do the obvious thing: couple versus couple."

"Okay then," Kate accepted.

"Clare and Eli," Adam put on the computerized scoreboard. "Kate and Adam. Alright, let's get ready to rock and bowl."

Clare playfully rolled her eyes and shook her head before they went to get their bowling balls. As they looked at the racks of balls, Clare never left Eli's side . . . and neither did Kate.

Adam was already at the table waiting for the others when Clare was deciding whether or not to get a nine or ten pound ball; Kate and Eli unintentionally wandered away from her without her knowledge.

"Just watch, Adam and I are going to kick your butts," Kate threatened once she and Eli selected their balls.

"Oh really?" Eli intimated kiddingly. "You think so?"

"I know so."

"Well, Clare and I are going to do more than beat you two; we're going to _annihilate_ you! Yeah, that's right. After this game, you guyswon't be able to even _look _at a bowling ball without feel shame! What now?"

"Oh, it's _so_ on, Goldsworthy," she teased.

"Bring it, Parker," he joked.

They tried to keep their serious faces, but they soon started letting out chuckles. Kate even nudged Eli in the shoulder because she was so amused by their "threats". Clare looked up in time to see the playful shove Kate gave her boyfriend before walking towards them; it was time to deploy her secret weapon . . .

"You guys ready?" Clare asked as she gently caressed Eli's shoulder with her hand; she noted the fire she saw burning in Kate's eyes as she touched Eli.

"Let's go partner," he grinned at her before hooking his arm around her waist and the three of them went towards their table.

"Alright, Eli and Clare are up first," Adam informed them once the trio arrived. "Which one of you is taking the first frame?"

"Ladies first," Eli obliged of Clare.

"Okay, but we're not going to have a strong start," she warned him.

And she was right. She got a gutter-ball on her very first roll.

"Told you," she said to Eli as she waited her ball to come back through the ball return.

"Don't worry, just have fun."

Clare grinned at him amorously before getting ready to go again.

"What was that you were saying about me and Adam getting annihilated?" Kate muttered to Eli heedlessly.

"Like I said, let's just enjoy the game," he said in Clare's defense.

She soon threw the ball down the lane again and it looked like the ball was going to fall into the gutter again, but it hit the seventh pin before it did. Clare leaned her head back in aggravation at herself before returning to the table.

"I got one," she defended herself before sitting by Eli, who just simply grinned at her before giving her an encouraging pat on the back.

"Kate, you want to go?" Adam offered.

"Sure," Kate replied.

They all watched as Kate bowled and it didn't really boost Clare's esteem when she got a strike during the first frame.

"Boo-yah!" Adam exclaimed once Kate rejoined the table. He gave her a high-five before she sat down.

"Okay Eli, you're next."

"Here it goes," Eli said before taking off his jacket and going to the lane.

"You okay Clare?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," she replied as she watched Eli's ball knock down eight pins. Her answer, however, didn't satisfy Kate and she caught on to why she felt a bit embarrassed.

"I'm sure you're just having something like beginner's luck," Kate reassured her in a sickly-sweet way. "But instead it's beginner's bad luck."

Clare bit her tongue and tried not to think horrible thoughts about Kate's false reassurance. She wanted tonight to be about her and Adam getting together, but that didn't seem to be going the way they planned.

The next few rounds progressed and, by the beginning of the fifth frame, Adam and Kate were ahead with eighty-eight while Eli and Clare had fifty-eight.

"I'm getting something to drink; you guys want anything?" Eli offered.

Clare asked for a cola, Kate lemonade, and Adam said root beer before Eli stood up and walked towards the concession stand.

"Wait, I'll go with you," Adam quickly volunteered while catching up with Eli.

"One lemonade, two colas, and one root beer, all large please," Eli ordered before he paid for the drinks.

"Dude, I have no idea what I'm supposed to say."

"It's not brain surgery," Eli replied. "Just talk about the first thing that comes to your head."

"The last time I did that I got rejected and the girl looked at me like I was a psycho," Adam recalled.

"Then talk about something interesting or funny."

"I tried that and every time I try have a conversation it fizzles out."

"I thought you weren't interested in Kate, so why should it matter what you say or what you don't say?" Eli asked as the person at the counter gave them their drinks in a cardboard carrier. "Thank you," he added before they started going towards their lane.

"If I have to be here, I'm going to actually give an effort just in case she does take a small interest in me," he explained as he took his drink off Eli's hands. "And I should make some attempt or she'll just cause drama."

"Thanks for coming along, by the way," Eli mentioned. "I _so_ owe you."

"You've said that to me a million times a day this week, and yes you do. But what should I do right now?"

"Just follow my lead."

"Why doesn't that comfort me?" Adam sighed dryly.

They arrived at the table and passed out the drinks.

"Thank you," Clare said as Eli handed her the cup of cola. "And you're up."

Eli went up for sixth frame of the game and knocked down seven pins before picking up the spares, which gave them a total of eight-one points.

Adam was about to go up for his turn, but Eli protested once he sat next to Clare

"Adam, sit for a second, my good man."

Not quite sure where this was going, Adam sat back down.

"So, who's having fun?" Eli asked as he looked back and forth between Kate and Adam.

"I, personally, am having a ball," Adam stated as he gestured to the bowling balls on the ball return. "Get it, ball?"

To everyone's complete surprise, Kate actually chuckled.

"Hey, you guys both like dry humor," Eli pointed out. "Why don't you guys go talk about that as you bowl?"

They both slowly stood up as Eli continued to support their conversation topic.

"Bowl and chat," he said. "Spread the good word of cheesy comedy."

"Was this part of your master plan to get them together?" Clare asked him as they actually began to talk as they went up to the lane.

"They're not giving me much to work with, so I had to go with what they got."

They then watched Adam roll his ball down the lane and knock down five pins.

"How do you guys do it?" Clare asked in amazement as she saw Adam and Kate talk for a bit while they waited for the ball to come back.

"Do what?" Eli asked.

"Bowl so well," she answered.

"Come on, you're not that bad."

Clare gave him a look that translated into a sarcastic "yeah, right."

"You just have to find a technique that works for you and go for it," he advised.

"Is there anything I can do to make my game better?"

"Well . . . when you bowl, your arm kind of swings to the left a bit and that gives your ball a curve."

"Really?"

"Here," Eli said, taking her hand while standing up and bringing her with him. He stood behind her, hooked one arm around the front of her waist, and gently enclosed her right wrist in his hand.

"See, you're arm goes like this," Eli enlightened her while he moved her arm up and a bit to the left.

"Alright, what should I do to make sure I actually hit something?"

"Just keep your arm and wrist straight," he instructed. He then demonstrated this act by moving her arm outward in a straight line. "Like that."

"Okay," she beamed at him. "Thanks."

"Whoa, what did we miss?" Adam asked when he saw Eli holding Clare like he was.

"Eli's just giving me bowling tips," Clare explained with a blush.

"That's what they call it these days?" he replied with a smirk. "You're up."

"Go for it," Eli whispered in Clare's ear before giving her a kiss on her temple.

She picked up her ball as she recalled the advice Eli just gave her. She let go of the ball, it went straight down the lane, and successfully knocked down seven pins.

"Yes," she heard Eli applaud. She turned around and smiled at him.

"Bowling genius!" she declared of him.

Clare knocked down two other pins in the second half of her frame and brought her and Eli's score up to one-hundred.

Kate took her turn and she and Adam had a score of 124. By the time the ninth frame came, Eli and Clare were still behind with 129 points while Kate and Adam had 133.

"Clare Edwards prepares for her final frame of the evening," Eli announced in a voice much lower than his own. "She picks up her ball and takes her place. She's about to go, her determination is making the room shake. Although her back is to the crowd, anyone could tell that her beautiful blue eyes are focusing on the pins. I must also add that not very many people could pull off the look bowling shoes give, but she definitely does."

"Cut it out!" she snapped while trying not to giggle.

"And she's feisty," Eli quickly added. "Another quality she presents fairly well."

Clare then rolled her ball, which ended up knocking down a single pin.

"You distracted me!" she accused her boyfriend with a laugh. "That's your fault."

"Yes, it's always Elijah's fault," he said in a mock-depressed voice. "At least you have one more go."

Clare retrieved her ball before going back to her starting point. It wasn't long until Eli began to do his commentary again.

"Edwards appears to be concentrating on her game, but really the only thing she's thinking of is her amazingly sexy boyfriend."

Clare heard him and looked over her shoulder.

"If that wasn't true, I'd be giving you a piece of my mind."

"I just know how you think," he said with his typical smirk.

She stuck her tongue out at him before returning to the game and knocking down the rest of the pins with one exception.

"Nice try," Adam said once Clare joined the table again while Kate went for her final bowl.

Clare stood behind Eli and locked her arms around his neck before resting her head next to his. He turned his head and kissed her cheek.

"Get a room," Adam teased as Kate knocked down eight pins before picking-up the spares.

"The last frame is upon us," Adam informed when Kate took a seat next to him; he noticed how she was trying to keep her eyes away from Clare and Eli.

"Knock them dead," Clare told Eli as she unraveled his arms around him.

Eli and Adam took control of their final frames. Just like Kate predicted before the game became, she and Adam won; they had 182 while Eli and Clare had 140.

"Congrats you guys," Clare praised.

"Who was right?" Kate smiled at Eli.

"You were right," Eli accepted in defeat.

"I think a victory pizza is in order," Adam stated. "Who's in?"

They all agreed, ordered a meat lover's pizza, and soon began eating it at their table. Eli sat by Clare and Adam and Kate sat across from them.

"So did you guys enjoy the conversation about comedy that Eli forced you to have?" Clare asked with a small grin.

"I didn't force them; it was a topic of suggestion," Eli corrected.

"'Bowl and chat', 'spread the good word of cheesy comedy'," Clare quoted with a raised eyebrow.

"Alright, it wasn't the best suggestion, but a suggestion nonetheless."

"A suggestion that we didn't really take," Adam perked up.

"Oh really?" Eli said with low-key enthusiasm. "Then what did the pair of you talk about?"

"How much of a crazy person you are," Kate stated. "Just kidding; we actually just talked about music and how we both play bass."

"I didn't know you played bass," Clare said

"Yeah, I started learning when I was twelve."

"And, since I've only been playing for a year or so, Kate here has actually offered to help me increase my skittles."

"Skittles?" Eli and Clare asked.

"I've heard that trying to replace 'skills' with 'skittles' is becoming a thing, so I figure I'd give it a go," he explained. "But, yeah, Kate's going to help me a bit with the bass."

Eli and Clare exchange small smiles. Maybe Kate and Adam could blossom into something greater than friendship after all. Their identical desire to play an instrument could just be the start of something huge for all they knew.

"By the way, Eli, have you guys heard about the Spring Jam is coming to Stratford? It's not too far away from here."

"Yeah, I looked it up online. I also saw that it is sold-out," Eli answered.

"Already?" he asked, astonished. "It's not until February and the tickets only went on sale last week!"

"I know! It's insane."

"Should Clare and I pretend to know what you guys are talking about or can you guys enlighten us?" Kate asked when she saw that Clare was just as lost as she was.

"Right," Adam said. "The Spring Jam is a huge concert thing that happens once a year and a lot of huge bands come and play for one night and one night only"

"I've been trying to go for years, but I'm always too late to get the tickets," Eli said.

"That sucks," Kate sympathized.

"Well, it's not the end of the world," Eli shrugged. "I do plan to go one of these days."

"What if you still haven't seen it when ninety-eight years old, you only have one week to live, but you're in a coma?" Clare asked.

"Then I'll hope that something goes wrong when they give me food through the feeding tube, I turn into a zombie, and I'm able to escape and then see the show."

"Why do all your schemes involve insane, if not impossible, ideas?" Adam asked.

"Because I'm naturally weird in the non-psychopathic way," Eli justified.

"And that's why we love you," Clare responded before putting her hand on Eli's thigh. He gave her his classic grin at her touch before taking her hand in his.

"So Kate, opening night for the play is on Monday. You ready?" Adam turned to her.

"I'm a nervous wreck," she divulged.

"Sorry, but I'm sure you'll bring the house down," he encouraged her.

"Thanks," she grinned at him.

"And, if you get nervous, just picture the audience as cats."

"Cats?" she questioned with a small chuckle.

The two of them soon became lost in their conversation about how Kate could conquer her nerves as Eli put his arms around Clare's shoulders.

"Who's the genius?" he asked cockily.

"You're the genius," Clare accepted with a pleased grin.

()()

"We'll see you guys Monday," Adam said before he and Kate walked towards his car half an hour later.

"Let's prepare for the living Hell that is the exam week," Kate added.

"Thanks for reminding me," Clare replied.

"Bye guys," Eli had to call across the parking lot. He and Clare climbed into Morty and began to drive down the road. They drove for a few minutes before arriving in front of Clare's house.

Eli got out and rushed to open Clare's door before she did it herself. She grinned at him while she climbed out.

"Whoa," she shrieked as she slipped on some ice that was under the snow. She began to fall to her right and against Eli, but he caught her around the waist.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a small chuckle.

"Yeah," she assured him as got herself balanced on her own feet again but Eli continued to keep one of his arms around her waist just in case . . . plus he enjoyed holding her for as long as he could.

They reached her front step and they faced each other.

"So . . . has the jury reached a verdict?" he asked, referring to whether or not Kate liked him or not.

Clare breathed in through her teeth until a hissing sound was made.

"I'm not really sure yet. I'll see if she and Adam go anywhere and how she acts around you at school."

"Fair enough," he capitulated. "But, all contributing factors involving Kate aside, I had fun with you tonight."

"Me too," Clare smiled at him. "We should double date again sometime."

"Maybe if this Kate and Adam thing doesn't work out, we could set him up with Alli?" he suggested with a grin.

"Our best friend dating my other best friend?" Clare mused. "That could work, but let's save that idea for a rainy day."

"Alright, now let's stop thinking about other people's relationships and start thinking about ours."

"What about it?"

"I couldn't help but notice that you were acting fairly enticing this evening, Miss Edwards," Eli mentioned as he took both of her hands.

"Well, Mr. Goldsworthy, I'm glad you noticed," Clare smiled. "Is it okay with you that I act that way?"

"Hey, what kind of boyfriend am I if I protest what you do?" he smirked.

"I'll take that as a yes," she concluded. "Listen, I know you don't believe me about her, but thanks for understanding why I feel this way and trying to make things better. I really appreciate it."

"Thanks for letting us do this and for allowing us to talk the other day."

Clare then reflected to that day in the Dot when she suggested they take time to figure out how to handle the Kate situation. She felt a bit upset about it considering the fact that she almost threw in the towel so easily.

"You won't flirt with her, right?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"Never," he swore.

"And there's no chance that she'll steal you away?"

"None whatsoever."

"And –," she tried to continue.

"Babe, nothing is ever, ever, ever, _ever_ going to happen between Kate and me, alright? I promise."

Clare bit her bottom lip and she knew his words were the truth.

"I can be honest with you, right?"

"Always," he pledged.

"Ever since you and I got together, I was always terrified that someone was going to steal you away like with what happened with K.C. Sometimes when we go out I notice a few girls staring at you and stuff but I get over it because I know nothing's going to happen, but it's different with Kate since you guys connect and you know each other on a deeper level. So I'm constantly dreading the day she'll do something to win you over and then you'll leave me for someone who I thought was my friend just like K.C did."

"Clare, I'm not him."

"I know you're not," she reassured. "It's just that . . ."

"I think I get it. But I won't hurt you like he did, I'm not going to leave you for Kate, and I swear that nothing will ever, ever, ever, _ever_ happen between me and her. Besides, why would I want to lose this?" he asked as he snaked his arms around her waist. "Why would I want to leave the greatest girl I've ever known . . . especially if she's the one?"

Clare looked down and blushed as he spoke these words.

"Only the one for me would say that," she confessed to him.

She put her hands on his arms before looking up into his eyes and leaning in to kiss him.

"Wait," he protested before her lips touched his. "I need to tell you something."

"Alright," Clare replied, a bit anxious as to where this was heading.

"We've been together for just about a year now and . . . I have just adored being with you for this long and I hope that what we have continues for as long as it can. I also believe that there is a difference between loving someone and actually being _in _love with someone and . . . I'm in love with you, Clare," he admitted.

"I'm in love with you too, Eli," she exclaimed with a smile before throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him with all the passion that existed inside her heart.

They soon parted their lips and grinned at each other.

"I'll see you at school."

"See you then," she promised before giving him one final peck on his lips and stepping into her house. She closed the door and leaned against it while she cherished the taste of Eli on her lips and tongue.

"Clare, is that you?" Helen called from the kitchen.

"Yes," she replied airily.

"How was the date?"

"Perfect," she answered before going up the stairs to her room. She got ready to bed while she continued to stay in her dreamlike state. It felt like the first night Eli told he loved her, but the feeling she had now was a million times stronger than that. She was lying in her bed ten minutes later, attempting to sleep, when she heard her message alert go off. She took her phone off the bedside table and saw a single text from Eli, which brought the usual smile to her lips.

_Sweet dreams Blue Eyes._

Clare quickly replied to the text before falling into a pleasant sleep.

_Goodnight my love._

* * *

"_An enchanted moment_

_And it sees me through_

_It's enough for this restless warrior _

_Just to be with you"_

_~"Can You Feel the Love Tonight" by Elton John_

* * *

Although I start school next week, Chapters 32 through 36 are chapters I've had in the works since the story began, so once I proofread them and choose the titles and lines, I'll be able to give constant updates until this season of Degrassi is complete! I'll try to finish writing Chaps 30 and 31 ASAP so I can update every time an Clare/Jake, Eli/Imogen (I refuse to call them by their couple names; they're insults to birthday pastries and Sesame Street characters everywhere), or EClare drama episode comes on! We're getting very, very, _very_ close to the good stuff now! REVIEWS PLEASE (please send in reviews everyone; they make me seriously happy on my bad days)!


	30. Beautiful Remains

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the boatload of reviews! Seriously guys, 8 reviews in less than twelve hours? I give you all a vug (virtual hug, my BFF made it up)! Oh, samcabral, I mentioned last chapter that I "freaking loved you", but now I really, really FREAKING LOVE YOU! I also freaking love Deena, EliandClare414, ilovetaylorswift13, eclarefanaticxoxo, KatieKittehh, enaira12, ThirteenWishes, kylieegirl, LovinMunro95, Neon Native, and all you other awesome reviewers! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't Degrassi, or the rights to Law and Order: SVU.

* * *

Chapter Thirty

Beautiful Remains

"Ten minutes until show time everyone!" Hannigan announced.

It was the Friday of closing night of _Romeo and Juliet_. The long week of exams was complete and it was the last of day before Christmas break would begin. The final priorities that a portion of the Degrassi student body had to take care of was making sure the final performance of the play would go on without any mishaps.

Clare, Adam, and Eli were assisting all the other crew members in setting the stage while the cast got ready for their last performances as the Shakespearean characters. Once the last ten minutes of preparation was complete, Hannigan called the all the students to order and they all gathered in a huddle backstage.

"Each and every one of you has worked extraordinarily hard on this play for the past two and a half months and I want to let you guys know how proud I am of you all. Now let's go out with a bang," she congratulated. She put her hand in the center of the group and everyone else followed suit. "Degrassi Drama on three. One, two, three!"

"Degrassi Drama!" everyone chanted.

"Alright, let's go," Hannigan said before all the necessary actors take their places on the stage before the curtain rose.

The first few scenes were observed by the audience as well as the people watching from the sidelines. Adam, Eli, and Clare stood with Kate as they waited for her cue.

"Last performance," Clare reminded her. "You ready?"

"Set," Kate replied. "But for the next play, I think I'm staying backstage with you guys."

"The more the merrier," Adam obliged.

"Juliet, you're on in two minutes," the stage manager called to Kate.

"Alright," she responded. "I'll see you guys in a few."

"Break a leg," Eli told her before she took her place in the wings.

"I don't know who thought of that saying, but I hope he didn't literally mean it when he first said it to someone," Adam mentioned.

()()

It was beginning of the second act and Clare was helping some of the crew get ready for the balcony scene while the others were retrieving other parts of the stage. Eli and Adam had finally cleared the stage and prepared to watch the scene until they were needed again. The two of them ventured to a wall backstage and leaned against it as they watched Kate's performance.

"Have you and Kate spent much more quality time together since last week outside school?" Eli asked right out of the blue.

"Not much; just one or two bass lessons."

"And is there anything on going between you two?"

"I told you I'm not going to date for a while," Adam said in retrospect.

"I'm just asking. Has she suggested anything beyond friendship?"

"We talked about it at her house on Wednesday; she said we shouldn't date just in case we break-up and it tears the group apart."

"I guess that makes sense."

"Before you ask, I still think she has feelings for you but I'll leave it alone until she does something again."

"I appreciate that Mr. Torres," Eli hailed.

"But I'm going to be keeping a very, very close eye on her," he warned ahead of time.

"Whatever floats your boat," he shrugged.

"Hey boys," Clare recognized their presence before she stood next to them. "It's going well."

"Yeah, you'd think things would go wrong by now, especially since –," Adam began.

"Don't say anything," Eli interrupted in mock-panic. "You'll jinx it."

Adam shook his head with a lopsided smile.

"Okay, I'll just go see if Hannigan needs us to do anything else."

He then walked towards the teacher and left the couple alone.

"So, it's been a week since the date. Have you seen Kate do anything flirty?" Eli asked Clare as he hung his arm around her shoulders.

"Not really," she answered. "If she did like you, which I still think she did, she's obviously gotten the message that we're not breaking-up anytime soon and she's moving on with her life."

"Does this mean we could all go back to the way it was when she first got here?"

"I suppose," Clare accepted.

At long last, the magic words reached Eli's ears. For nearly a month and a half, he hoped that everything would somehow return to normal within their quartet and now it was finally happening.

"You know all those times when I told you that you were the best?" Eli recalled.

"Yes," she replied with a grin.

"Well, I'm standing by that fact."

"Good, because so are you," she said as lied her head on his shoulder.

()()

The remainder of the play continued without any problems of any sort. It got a standing ovation from the audience as everyone took their final bows. Kate rushed off the stage the second the curtain dropped and got changed in the dressing room. She met her trio of friends in the hallway a few minutes later and they started giving her their own round of applause.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the talented Kate Parker!" Adam said encouragingly.

"Thank you, thank you," she smiled with a slight blush.

"You did great up there," Eli congratulated.

"Thanks. But, if I have to be honest, I'm glad it's over. I just want to go home, put my feet up, and watch _White Christmas_ until I lose my mind. That reminds me, I have to get home as soon as I can because I promised my sister that I would help her make cookies before my family arrives from Montreal next week."

"Well, you can't keep a seven-year-old waiting unless you want her to go all spider monkey on you," Eli kidded.

"Then I guess I'll see you guys around," she replied with a smile before giving Eli a hug. Clare was able to keep her mild jab of annoyance under control until the hug was over. Kate then turned to her.

"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year," she told Clare as she pulled her into a hug herself.

"Back at you," she replied, but she wasn't sure if Kate was being sincere with the notion or not.

Kate then turned to Adam.

"And you and I, sir, are going to have at least one bass lesson before we get back to school."

"Just let me know when," Adam grinned before she pulled him into a hug just for him.

Adam them gave his two best friends a hug and they each said their goodbyes before heading down the hall out of Degrassi. As they left, Eli and Clare walked down the hall to Art Room to grab some of the belongings they left in there. They stepped into the room, which still had unclaimed books and backpacks inside along with a few students, and went to retrieve their coats and bags. Clare uncovered her bag, which was hidden by her coat, and was slightly surprised to see a simple white envelope resting on it with her name written in blue ink.

Clare pulled on the article of clothing in her hand before taking hold of the envelope. She opened it and pulled out a card that had a picture of a heart that was made of red roses along with the words "Happy Anniversary" in red, curly letters.

Not even needing to read the signature to know who this was from, Clare felt a touched smile come to her lips as she opened up the card and read what was inside.

_Happy Anniversary to someone who is one in a million _is what the card read, except the "million" was crossed out with a single horizontal line and the word "billion" was written in ink below it. Clare continued to read the remaining words in the card, which were all in Eli's handwriting.

_Clare, _

_It's hard to believe we've been together for an entire year now but yet very easy to believe so at the same time. I love you so much and I hope that we are still saying these words 365 days from now on our second year anniversary (if you're still able to put up with me that is). I'll miss you the next two weeks, but I'll be here when you get back._

_All my love,_

_Your Eli_

Clare sighed happily as she closed the card and felt happy tears sting her eyes. While she stood there, Eli stood behind her before placing his hands on her hips.

"I know it's just a card, but –."

"Thank you so much," Clare told him as she turned around and locked her hands behind his neck with the card still in her hand.

"Do you like it?" he asked with concern when he saw the tears in her eyes.

"I love it. I just feel bad that I didn't get you anything," she said sadly.

"Hey, you know that you're smile is enough for me," he reassured her; he was fully aware that he what he said was probably extremely corny but he didn't care. And, judging by the glow in her eyes and smile, Clare didn't mind either.

"Happy one year anniversary," he said to her before she blissfully kissed him. "And many, many more," he added in a singsong voice once the act of endearment was over.

Clare smiled at him and hoped for the same thing.

"By the way, unless you go psycho on me, it's more than likely that I'll be able to put up with you."

"Well then I'll have to add 'never go psycho' to my list of New Year's resolutions," he smirked.

Clare chuckled unwrapping herself from him and securing the card in its envelope before putting it in a safe place in her bag; after her card was protected from the outside world, she took Eli's hand and they walked out of the room.

"When are you leaving for your family things?" Eli asked as they descended down the hall.

"First thing tomorrow morning Mom and I are picking up Darcy at the airport then we're heading straight to Brantford."

"I hope you have fun," he told her.

"I'll try. Will you call me sometimes?"

"Of course," Eli assured her as they exited the school and faced the snow that was starting to come down. Eli carefully guided her down the snow covered steps so she wouldn't slip. Once they reached the bottom of the stairs, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders before she got too cold. Wanting to return the favor, Clare coiled both of her arms around his torso.

"This is one of the many things I love about this time of year," she told him as she hung on to his body.

He grinned at her before kissing her hair, which was catching tons of snowflakes as they walked to Morty. Eli drove slower than usual while he drove her home since the roads were become blanketed with snow.

"I hope this weather doesn't get worse when you guys travel," he stated as they went down Clare's street a few minutes later.

"It should be clearer by tomorrow."

"Will you call or text me when you get there, though? Just so I know you're safe?" he asked of her.

"Alright," she agreed as they climbed out of the hearse.

"I'll see you when school starts up again," Clare said once they were walking towards her house.

"Enjoy your time away from here, but don't kiss anyone under the mistletoe without me," he teased.

"Shame, I was so looking forward to making-out with a relative," she jested as they stood on the front step.

"That might just be enough to put you on Santa's naughty list."

"Then it's a good thing I'm avoiding the mistletoe until next year . . . hopefully you'll be so kind as to join me under it?" she hoped out loud.

"Count on it," he told her before he wrapped his arms around her. She returned the hug and held her true love as hard she could. "Happy Holidays."

"I'll miss you," she said to him.

"I'll miss you too. But at least it's only fourteen days or so."

"Thankfully," Clare sighed before she found his lips and put hers on them. "Love you."

"Love you too," Eli responded. "I'll call you tomorrow night."

"Sounds good," she accepted. "I'll probably text you when I'm on the road as well."

"Text as many times as you want."

With a final squeeze, they released each other.

"See you," Clare grinned at him as he began to walk towards Morty. He paused turned around just in time to see her opening the front door.

"Clare!" he called her.

She looked over her shoulder.

"_Oh the weather outside is frightful_," Eli began to sing. "_But the fire is so delightful_."

Clare chuckled as she watched her boyfriend sing while he began to walk backwards to his car.

"_And since we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow_!"

"Since when do you go caroling?" she frolicked.

"Since I fell in love with you," he replied.

Clare felt her face turn red and it wasn't from the cold air hitting her face.

"Talk to you later," she grinned.

"I'll see you when you get back."

Clare stepped into her house and was about to close the door when she suddenly thought of the one thing she wanted, and needed, to say to him.

"And Eli," she hollered as she poked her head out the front door before Eli climbed all the way into Morty. "Happy anniversary."

* * *

"_This love will set you free from thoughts of yesterday"_

_~"Beautiful Remains" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

The end . . .

KIDDING!

Things are going to get verrrrrrry interesting next chapter . . . let if you want it up by the end of tomorrow's episode because it's finished and I can post it at any time! Reviews please!


	31. Teardrops on My Guitar

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Have I ever mentioned how much I love you guys? Seriously, you guys are the greatest reviewers/readers/subscribers ever! Oh, and can someone send a bunch of zombies on Jake please? Tonight's episode really made me want to punch him! Him acting all mushy with Clare made me want to barf! But I think it's safe to say that things won't heat up between them again for a while! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi? When did we decide _that_?

* * *

Chapter Thirty-One

Teardrops on My Guitar

The last day of winter break was finally here and Eli was sitting in his room. He pulled back the Union Jack flag over his window while sitting in his desk chair to see the slowly melting snow on the trees next to his room and the side of the house. It was eight o'clock at night and he was writing a story he'd been working on for the past two weeks.

He was writing the rising action when he heard his message alert tone go off on his phone. He grinned like he usually did when he saw a text from Clare.

_How's the writing coming?_

_It's coming. U still on the road? _Eli replied._  
Yea dad and I just dropped of Darcy airport. We have 1 hour drive ahead of us_

_Sorry :( need some cellular company?_

_Lol only if I don't distract you from your muse_

_I can multitask_

_K then thanks :)_

_My pleasure ;) How u handling the new GF situation?_

At the beginning of the holidays, Clare's dad announced that he'd started dating a woman he met in October. He chose to drop the bomb on his daughters during their drive to Peterborough and Clare was in total shock. She called Eli when she got to her uncle's house and he talked to her for about it for at least an hour. She tried to persuade him that she wasn't upset and she honestly wasn't; she knew it was a matter of time until one of her parents started dating again, but she wished she had a bit of warning and along with time in this case.

_I'm fine_, she replied via text.

_Have u met her yet?_

_She stopped by a few days ago_

_What did u think of her?_

_She's ok. I just need 2 get used to my dad dating then I'll be fine. But 4 now I just can't wait 2 get home_

_You'll b back soon enough. Ready 4 school 2morrow?_

_Only if I'll c u there_

Even though it's been a year, Clare's eagerness to see him still brought a grin to face.

_U will ;) Let's start this new semester off on a clean slate_

_I'm in. Honesty all the way?_

_U got it_, he texted, although he felt a pang of regret inside him since he was lying to her right now about almost kissing Kate that one time.

_So you what's this story about Master of Mystery? You've never really given me much info_

_You'll just have 2 wait and c _

_Please Eli_

_I want it 2 b a surprise though when u do read it, Miss Editor_

_Just 1 tiny hint?_

He chuckled at her desire to know, but he wasn't planning on revealing too much.

_Ok. It's about a warlock who creates an army of the undead so he could save his daughter from the clutches of his aunt, who wants to rule the world. There's more 2 it than that, but I don't want 2 give away much more_

_Alright I can't wait 2 read it._

_Give me a few more days & it'll be done_

_Can't wait! Sorry but g2g. My dad's insisting that I stop texting :( I'll c u 2morrow. Love you XOXO :)_

_Love you 2 XOXO, _was his last reply before he put his phone back to the side, still trying to shake off the guilt that was still boiling inside him.

The feeling was numbed by the time he stepped into the familiar halls of Degrassi the next morning. Eli skimmed the halls for Kate, Adam, and, most importantly, Clare but they weren't in his vision. He exhaled through his nose in disappointment before greeting the inside of his locker. He pulled out his Calculus book for the first time in weeks when he felt someone hug his waist and place their head on his shoulder.

"Guess who missed you the last two weeks?" Clare's heavenly voice asked him.

"It couldn't possibly be you," he said with a smirk.

"It might have been," she responded while he closed the locker.

"And I missed you," he added as he turned around. He put his lips on hers for the first time since December.

"Yep, the holidays are definitely over," a familiar voice greeted them. They pulled apart and saw Adam leaning against a locker. "Back to the everyday life of watching my two best friends make-out every ten seconds."

"Come on Torres, you know you love us," Eli bantered.

"You always play the love card," Adam complained mockingly. "And, even though it does give me the heebie-jeebies at times, I've actually missed my lovey-dovey amigos."

"Awe," Clare sighed before giving Adam a hug. "I missed you too Adam."

"Well, it's kind of hard not to," he teased.

Clare let go of Adam before nudging him playfully in the shoulder.

"Assault," Adam joked before Kate joined the group.

"Clare, don't do that to Adam. That's my job," she kidded with a smile before shoved Adam in the same way Clare did.

"Alright, before this gets too violent, I say we all go to the Dot after school since we haven't seen each other in a while. Who's in?" Eli insisted.

"I am," Kate agreed immediately.

"Me too, but are guys going to act all cute and crap," Adam said as he looked at the couple.

"We haven't seen each other in two weeks," Clare mentioned as she held on to Eli's waist tighter than before.

"So I think we're obligated to be a bit affectionate with each other," he agreed before wrapping his own arms around Clare and kissing the top of her head.

"Sometimes I'm not sure if I should smile or vomit at you guys sometimes," Adam wondered aloud.

()()

"So how was your break?" Kate asked Eli in the hall as they made their way to the computer lab so they could check out their exam scores during morning study period.

"Not bad," Eli replied. "Missed hanging-out with you, Adam, and Clare though."

"Well of course you missed _her_."

"I missed my best friends as well," he told her honestly.

"I'm just messing with you, Eli," she reassured before shoving him playfully with her elbow. "Did you talk to her much?"

"Almost every day; I tried calling you as well but you never picked-up."

"I know, I'm sorry," Kate apologized. "I was busy entertaining family who came to see our new house. But let me tell you, it was two weeks of nonstop screaming, shouting, and crying."

"Little cousins?" Eli guessed.

"My grandpa," she replied with a chortle. "And probably a handful of kids under the age of fourteen didn't help much either."

"Sounds rough," he sympathized.

"I was just lucky that I was able to escape by going to work in the afternoons."

"How's that job going by the way?"

Kate let out a groan before she answered.

"It was crazy when the holidays came. Thankfully I survived it and I'm getting extra do-re-mi."

"Always the upside to having a job."

"It sucks that you didn't get it," Kate mentioned. "The two of us working together would've been fun."

"Yeah, it would've," Eli agreed. "But I'll start the job hunt again soon then I'll actually be able to have bit of money in my pocket."

"What do you think you'll do with it?"

"I'm thinking of putting some in the bank for future reasons, some for college, gas and insurance for Morty, and maybe I'll take Clare someplace special since we weren't really able to celebrate our one year anniversary with her leaving for the holidays and all."

"Whoa, you guys have been together a whole year?"

"Yeah," he sighed happily.

"Impressive. And you guys still haven't had sex?"

"Nope," he said indifferently.

"I'm doubly impressed."

"About what?"

"There aren't many guys in the world that would date someone for a year and not get any."

"Well, I guess I'm one of the exceptions."

"You really are, Elijah. But why aren't you guys . . .?"

"I think the better question here is why you are suddenly interested in my nonexistent sex life."

"I'm remotely curious," Kate shrugged. "You and Clare seem to have a very stable relationship and I like to know how you guys do it."

"There's no big secret. We just talk, are honest, and respect each other. There's not that much to it."

"You guys make relationships sound simple. But you haven't told her about the thing when we almost . . . you know . . . a few months ago?"

"That's the only thing I haven't told her," he assured her as he tried to force it into the back of his mind again.

"Thanks," she sighed with appreciation. "So are you guys just holding off on doing it until the time is right or . . . ?"

"She's waiting until marriage."

"Has she considered not waiting?" Kate asked.

"Yeah and, as far as I know, she's not doing it until she's married but there's a small window of possibility."

"And you're okay with that?" she ascertained.

"Absolutely," he told her as they entered the computer lab. "If that's her choice, I'll respect it."

Eli still had no idea that Clare was going to give herself to him that one night since she never brought it up and she never mentioned it to anyone, so he believed that he was giving Kate what he thought was accurate information.

"You must really, really, really love her if you're willing to wait so long," Kate commented as she logged on to her email.

"You know I do."

"Do you want to have sex with her?"

"Well, of course I _want _to, but it's no big deal if she doesn't. We know how we feel about each other either way."

"So there's the possible chance that you guys might never do it unless you two get hitched one day?" she summarized.

"I guess so."

"Does it bother you that you're waiting?"

"When we first started dating, Clare didn't even think about doing it, but now she is because she knows I want to, so I'm not going to be a jackass and have a rant about it if she decides not to because I'm grateful that she considered the idea in the first place. Besides, Clare and I just got over a few rough patches in our relationship and I don't want to bring it up anytime soon. We're happy with the way things are now, so I'm not going to push anything. We've finally gotten everything back to normal and I don't want any more complications to arise between us."

"Back to normal? Did I miss something?" Kate inquired. "Because the last thing I remember that wasn't normal was that one huge fight you guys had a month or so back. Did something else happen between you guys?"

Kate still had no idea that Clare had once had all the unpleasant feelings about her and Eli. He never told Kate that Clare suspected him of cheating, saw her flirting, or anything about his girlfriend feeling threatened. He chose to keep that between him and Clare where it belonged and the only other person he may have said something to was Adam. But he knew he couldn't bring it up now; if he did, he knew Kate would tell Clare and that could ruin their healing friendship.

"There were just some issues last month but we smoothed them over and we're moving on with our lives," he answered with half honesty.

"I'm pleased to hear that," she said as she gave him a small grin.

"Okay . . ." Eli muttered to himself as he examined the computer screen. "Goldsworthy comma Elijah . . ."

He looked through his exam grades one at a time. It didn't surprise him that he passed English with an A; he a B in his other classes except for the C in Calculus. He then reached the bottom of the screen to see the verdict of his Physics exam . . .

()()

Clare was walking down the hall heading towards the library when she felt someone snatched her waist in their arms her around the waist.

"What the –?" she screeched.

"It's me," Eli voice reassured.

Clare relaxed before he led her to a bench on the side of the hall.

"Don't scare me like that," she told him before punching his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he apologetically. "But I wanted to tell you that I love you, you are the best, you're amazing, and you are a lifesaver."

Her face burned red as he told her this.

"Um . . . thank you, but why –?"

Eli stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a folded up piece of paper.

"Feast your eyes on this."

Clare took the paper out of his hand and opened it up to see a printed copy of his exam. Anxious now, she skimmed the paper and her eyes widened when she saw the Physics grade.

"You got an A!" she exclaimed. "That's amazing!"

"I owe it to you. If you didn't help me study for countless hours, I would've failed."

"Hey, give yourself some credit; you actually had to take the exam and learn this stuff. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks," he grinned.

"And, since you did so well . . ." Clare smiled before she put her lips to his.

()()

"Well, I hate to rush out of here, but I have to go help Wesley and Connor with a Chemistry project," Clare informed the group regrettably during lunch.

"And I need to go tutor a grade ten in Civics," Adam remembered as he and Clare stood up from the table.

"I'll see you later," Eli promised after she gave him a quick kiss.

"You bet you will," she added before giving him a flirtatious smirk.

"The love never stops with you two," Kate stated as they watched Adam and Clare leave the cafeteria.

"You know, it sucks that you and Adam didn't become more," he mentioned as he looked at her from across the table. "The four of us could do more stuff together without Clare and I completely grossing you out."

"Don't get me wrong, Adam's a nice guy but . . ."

"But . . ." Eli coaxed.

"I'm kind of . . . interested in someone else."

"Really?" he inquired with fascination. "Details please?"

"Nope," she refused. "I'm not saying anymore."

"Come on, I'm your best friend. Please tell me."

"I don't know Eli," Kate answered with hesitation.

"Don't make me beg."

She simply shook her head and continued to eat her lunch. Eli tried to let it go, but his thirst to know was eating him up inside.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me who he, or she if that's your thing, is but can I ask questions?" he asked.

"If you must," she sighed in defeat.

"And I do," he smiled in accomplishment. "Does he go to Degrassi? And it is a he right?"

"Yes and yes."

"Do I know him?"

"I think so."

"Is he in our grade?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any classes with him?"

"Most of them."

"Okay, let me see if I can narrow this down . . ." Eli began to contemplate.

"You'll never guess."

"Hey, I may not be Sherlock Holmes, but I can figure out this mystery."

Eli thought of all the possibilities as to who this unknown crush could be, but nothing came to him.

"Give me some time and I will figure this out," he surrendered her after two minutes of thinking.

"Let me know if you do . . . which I doubt you will."

"You're lack of confidence in me is insulting," he japed. She giggled for a second before taking a breath.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Yeah," Eli answered.

"I kind of started liking him once we started doing _Romeo and Juliet_ even I knew I shouldn't."

"Why shouldn't you?"

"It's complicated. I tried to forget the idea since I need to be focusing on my academics, but every time I did, the more I felt."

"Well, you can't fight your feelings. Does he know who you are?"

"I think so, but I wore that Madonna costume for Halloween to get his attention just in case he didn't."

"Did it work?"

"I don't know honestly."

"Well, maybe you should ask him if you two ever get together."

"I doubt we ever will."

"Why?"

"I just have this bad feeling."

"Adam had this bad feeling about someone not long ago," Eli recalled as he remembered the first time he ever said anything against Kate. "And it turns out he was dead wrong."

"You just said not to fight my feelings," Kate restated.

"Fight the bad feelings, not the good ones," he clarified.

Kate just moved her salad around with her fork as she tried to think of what she should do about this guy.

"Want my advice?" Eli offered.

"Please," she begged. "You're the best person for anyone to go to when it comes to this stuff."

"Just go for it. I'm sure whoever he is will go out with you in a heartbeat."

"But what if he says no?"

"His loss," he shrugged. "He's just stupid if he chooses not to go out with you. And you know what? If this SOB turns you down, let me know and I'll make sure he regrets it."

"Just don't do anything illegal," she cautioned him.

"Now would I really do that?"

"You're the best Eli," she grinned at him.

"Actually that title belongs to Clare, but I'll settle for second best."

Kate smiled at him one last time before weighing the many pros and few cons that would be involved if she ever got the guts to ask this guy out. But, with Eli's blessings, she was considering the next step more and more.

()()

Wednesday morning came and Eli was talking to Clare by his locker.

"Remember that story you were so interested in over winter break?" he asked.

"Yes," she said enthusiastically.

"Well, I stayed up all night working on it and it's finally done," he told her as he saw a smile spread across her face.

"So does that mean I can read it?" she asked hopefully.

Eli pulled out a dark green notebook from his bag and handed it to Clare.

"Be brutally honest. And feel free to edit it in any way you please. I'm sure I've given you a lot to work with."

"I'll be the judge of that," she declared while she flipped through the notebook; not one of the eighty pages was left blank. "Now I can't wait to get home and read this."

"Read what?" Adam asked when he walked up to them.

"A story that Eli wrote over break."

"Another one!" he asked with wide eyes. "Dude, you write like James Patterson on steroids."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Eli grinned in approval. "Where are you going?"

"I have to go talk to Dawes about that assignment," Adam said as he began to walk down the hall.

"I'll go with you," Clare spoke up. "I have to ask her about it myself."

"I'll be right here when you guys get back," he told them as he opened up his locker. "Oh, and Clare!"

Clare quickly turned around before she was out of his sight. He took his two index fingers and traced a heart in midair with them. She gave him a nod in concurrence and performed the same gesture before following Adam.

"Eli," Kate's voice greeted his ears a few minutes later.

"Hey," he replied as he closed his locker.

"Remember what you said on Monday about me taking the plunge when it came to this guy I liked?"

"Oh yeah," he nodded. "How's that going with him?"

"Well, I decided that I'm taking my chance today."

"That's great."

"Thanks . . . I just hope he likes me."

"Of course he will," he assured her. "He'd be crazy not to."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"Alright . . . I'm going to do it . . . right now."

Kate then looked around the hall.

"Go for it," he encouraged.

She took a breath before taking a step towards Eli

"That's what I'm doing," she whispered . . . right before she compressed her mouth to his.

* * *

"_He says he's so in love_

_He's finally got it right_

_I wonder if he knows_

_He's all I think about at night"_

_~"Teardrops on My Guitar" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

Before I run away and hide in a cave, I must ask for you to REVIEW!


	32. Lessons Learned

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

OMG! Over 200 reviews? All of you deserve a muffin AND a fruit basket! THANK YOU AMAZING PEOPLE! I seriously want to cry with joy! And thank you for not murdering me because of the last chapter!

Like I've said before, I'll try to update every time Eli/Imogen, Clare/Jake, and EClare drama episodes come on and I'll continue to update once to twice a week until this season is over or until I get stuck (whatever comes first). Unfortunately, I'm back in school so let's hope I don't get too busy to write. One more thing: I've constantly mentioned how this story is going to be long, but I'm not sure how long. I just hope that no matter how long it gets that you guys keep reading . . . PLEASE! There's a LOT of stuff to come that I think you guys will like! Shutting my mouth now! Onto the story! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Degrassi is owned by the big dogs; I'm just a parrot.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Two

Lessons Learned

Eli and Adam were sitting in the Goldsworthy's living room against the front of the couch playing videogames on that afternoon and they figured to have some guy time since Drama meetings were postponed until next week. Eli's parents weren't home so it was just the two of them in the house as they played one of those war games on the Xbox. They were playing against each other on this game and, usually, Eli would beat Adam every time. However, they'd been playing it for an hour and Eli hadn't triumphed over Adam once.

"Sweet! Victory is mine once again!" Adam cheered as he defeated his friend for the tenth time.

"You're just lucky today," Eli protested.

"Sore loser," Adam retorted with a grin.

Eli didn't bother to say something sarcastic back like he usually would have. Instead he sat his game remote next to him and exhaled.

"Want a rematch?" Adam offered, believing that was what Eli needed.

"I'm good," he declined.

Adam noticed all day that there was something not right with Eli, but now he knew that something was definitely up. Usually Eli would play a single game over and over until he won it, but today he was the complete opposite.

"Dude, what's wrong?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Eli stated, avoiding Adam's eye at all cost.

"Okay, so I can assume that you hardly talking to me or Clare all day, not blasting the radio on the way here, bombing at your favorite game, and refusing a rematch is just now becoming a side-effect of being lovesick?" Adam asked sarcastically.

Eli rolled his eyes. He knew he wasn't being himself since that morning and he didn't tell anyone about it all day. Whenever he had a problem, he would usually tell Clare, Adam, or keep it to himself depending on the situation. But, in this point in time, he couldn't tell Clare; that would've been disastrous. He didn't even want to know what she could've been thinking if he told her what happened. And he couldn't keep it to himself . . . especially if he didn't know what to do about it.

"It's Kate," Eli confessed.

"Oh no," Adam groaned. "Please, please, _please_ tell me you're not getting feelings for her."

"No, no of course not," he reassured.

"Good."

"But . . ." Eli said slowly, not wanting to admit the next part.

"Uh-oh," Adam said worriedly.

"You and Clare were right."

"We usually are . . . about what?"

"Kate has feelings for me."

"I knew it!" Adam exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, you guys were right, I was wrong; gold star for you two," Eli snapped sarcastically.

"And why are you just now reaching this conclusion?" Adam asked, now interested.

Eli sighed.

"Promise you won't tell Clare," he ordered.

"What?" Adam asked in disbelief.

"Promise me, please."

It was very rare that Eli asked Adam to hide something from Clare and he had to hold his tongue until Eli came clean to her himself. Sure, he was able to stay silent about Julia and his and Kate's promise as kids, but even during those times Adam had trouble keeping his mouth shut about that. This had to be pretty important or Eli wouldn't have asked this favor of him again.

"Okay, I promise," he accepted. "What happened?"

Eli composed himself before telling Adam the entire story.

"On Monday she told me that she liked someone for a while who I knew and who was in most of her classes. She didn't know what to do, so I told her to go for it and I said that this guy she likes will definitely like her back. This morning, we were talking when you and Clare went to talk to Dawes about that English assignment and she told me that was going to make her move on this guy and . . . before I could say anything . . ." he trailed off.

"And before you could say anything what?" Adam urged impatiently.

"She kissed me."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Adam remarked in disbelief. "Let's back up for a sec. Kate _kissed _you?"

"That's what I just said," Eli nodded, looking at the ring on the index finger of his left hand.

"On the cheek or on the lips?"

"Lips," he admitted.

"Was there tongue?"

"A little," he confessed uncomfortably.

"How long did it take for you to pull away?"

Eli didn't respond.

"Eli, how long did it take for you to pull away?" Adam repeated.

Not a word followed the question for at least ten seconds.

"She pulled away after about fifteen seconds," he answered regretfully.

"Eli," Adam groaned.

"Look, I didn't want for it to happen! I was just . . . in shock. I didn't know what to do."

"So you just stood there and allowed her to kiss you while she knew you have a girlfriend?" Adam remarked disapprovingly.

"Like I said, I didn't know what to do," Eli restated.

Adam rolled his eyes.

"What happened after the kiss?"

Reluctantly, Eli continued his story.

"I stood there, shocked and confused. She smiled at me, said 'see you around', and left."

"And you didn't say anything to her afterwards?"

"No," he answered, wishing he didn't act so stupid those many hours ago.

Adam shook his head, angry at Kate for doing such a thing, frustrated at Eli for not doing anything about it, and feeling sorry for Clare for being left in the dark and knowing that she'd be heartbroken if she ever found out. But he knew that he wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut about this for long. One way or another, the truth was going to get to her, whether it was through a slip of the tongue from him, a little attack from Kate, or from the person who she should be hearing the truth from.

"You have to tell Clare," he stated bluntly.

"I know I have to, but I can't," Eli agreed before he declined.

"It's not fair to her enough as it is, imagine how she's gonna feel if you keep acting strange like you did today. And if you already feel guilty about this, sooner or later it's going to build up inside you until you can't take it anymore."

"You're really not helping, Adam," Eli accused.

"Look, either tell Clare or I will," he threatened.

"You promised you –."

"That was before I knew you acted like a total douche!" Adam argued. "I mean, come on, you were a _total idiot_!"

"Gee, thanks for the update!" Eli sneered. "I know what I did – or didn't do – was stupid and I should've done something, but I can't tell Clare. It'll break her heart and I refuse to hurt her in anyway."

Adam thought about this for a few minutes. He put himself in Eli's position and took into account everything he just said.

"Okay, I see you're point," he admitted. "I won't tell Clare anything."

"Thank you."

"But –," he continued.

"Crap," Eli complained.

"You have to explain to Kate that what happened was wrong, unnecessary, and it should never happen again because you're not interested in her and you're in love with Clare."

Eli nodded his head in agreement.

"You're right. First chance I get tomorrow, I'm going to talk to Kate."

"Good."

()()

Eli parked Morty in the parking lot the next day, knowing exactly what he was going to say to Kate when he saw her today. He just didn't know _when_ he was going to tell her. He was either in class or with Clare whenever he was with her, so unless he said something to her before or after school, he wasn't going to be able to talk to her for a while. He would've called her, but he knew that would've been too harsh.

Not too worried about the conversation he was going to have with Kate, but more worried about Clare finding out, he got out of Morty and walked into the school.

Eli walked down the halls of Degrassi until he reached his locker and he opened it up.

"I don't believe you!" someone hollered from down the hall. He turned and saw Clare heading towards him looking absolutely annoyed. His insides went cold with guilt as she stood right in front of him.

"I can explain. I never wanted it to –."

"You told me my editing skills were going to be needed," she then smiled at him as she held up the notebook he'd given her just the day before. "This is one of the greatest things you ever written; I can't find anything that needs to be fixed, improved, or anything."

The relief swept over Eli so fast that he began to feel a bit nauseous, but he shook it off.

"You like it then?"

"Like it? Eli, this is amazing! I definitely didn't see the ending coming," she complimented as she handed the story back to him.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," he grinned at her before turning to his locker and retrieving a few books while Clare spoke to him.

"So . . . what was up with you yesterday?" she asked, obviously concerned.

"What do you mean?" Eli asked, acting like he didn't know what she was talking about.

"You just seemed very distant. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Don't worry, everything's cool," he reassured, closing his locker and turning to her.

"You're sure?" It was obvious that she didn't really believe a word he was saying.

"Clare, everything's fine. Yesterday was just one of those days when you don't function normally. Nothing to worry about."

"Okay," Clare accepted."

_Thank you_, he thought to himself, relieved she finally let it go.

"Have any plans Saturday?" he asked, leaning against the locker as he subtly changed the subject.

"I don't know, do I?" Clare inquired, knowing what he was going to ask.

"Well, I was thinking about going for a drive to our special place staying there for a few hours before swinging by the Dot. And I was thinking about taking someone special if she wanted to go."

Clare grinned, knowing that she was the special someone he was referring to.

"And what if this person says she'll love to go?" she asked coyly.

"Then I'll pick her up around noon," Eli smiled. He was now looking forward to getting this day over with so he could talk to Kate and spend his Saturday with the girl he loved.

"Sounds like a plan," Clare smiled back at him before her desires started to rage as she began to think of something else they could add to Saturday's agenda . . .

()()

"Have you talked to her yet?" Adam asked Eli as they entered their Calculus class.

"No, I haven't seen her all day," Eli responded.

"Well, she's here. I saw her this morning; she was looking at you and Clare from the other end of the hall before homeroom. She looked like she wanted to cut off Clare's head with a very blunt axe."

"And you know this how?" he asked as the two of them took their seats in the back of the class.

"I was standing a few yards away from her. She looked like the Queen of Hearts right before she yells 'off with their heads!'" Adam clarified.

"What's with all the similes?"

Adam shrugged before looking at the door.

"Speak of the she-devil."

Eli looked over his shoulder and saw Kate walk in the class, her brunette hair rippling brilliantly down her shoulders and her smile widening as she saw Eli.

"Great," he sighed sarcastically, turning back around.

"Look, just do the Band-Aid method; do quickly and get it out of the way," Adam instructed hurriedly before Kate took the other empty desk next to Eli.

"Hi Eli," she greeted.

"Hey," he said, not looking up at her. Instead he flipped through the pages of his Calculus book, trying to remember what he was going to say to her before the class began.

"So," she turned to him. He used all the willpower he had in him to not look up at her, for he knew she would be looking at him in the way Clare did, and he didn't want that look from no one but _Clare_. "Are you feeling okay? You've barely spoken since yesterday."

"Really?" Eli said sarcastically. Unfortunately, Kate didn't catch the sarcasm.

"Yeah. Is everything alright?"

_Just get it over with Eli. Please just get it over with_, Adam pleaded in his head as he pretended not to hear their conversation.

"No, everything is not okay," Eli admitted, turning his head slightly in Kate's direction. "We need to talk about yesterday."

"Is it Clare?" she assumed.

"What? No," he stated, disbelieved that she would consider that Clare had anything to do with his problems.

Kate then bit the corner of her bottom lip before looking sadly at Eli.

"You didn't tell her, did you?"

_Of course not,_ Adam thought to himself, wishing Eli would just get this conversation over with before he set Kate straight for him.

"No, but –," Eli tried to explain before Kate cut across him.

"Look," she began as she reached over to take his hand. He quickly pulled away before she could continue. "I get that it's going to be hard telling her about what's happening with us, so do you want me to tell her?"

"No!" Eli exclaimed. However, his voice wasn't the only one he heard. He turned around and saw Adam quickly looking back down at his book.

"Sorry, continue," he said, hoping that Eli would get this over with already.

"Thanks, Adam," he said sarcastically before turning back to Kate. "What do you mean by 'what's happening with us'?"

Kate was about to explain, but then the teacher started handing out the test for that day.

"Can we talk after seventh period?" she asked.

Eli was hoping to get this conversation over with before the end of the final class of the day but, unfortunately, that wasn't going to be the case. Seeing no way out of it, he nodded. He knew then that this was going to be harder than he thought if Kate felt this much for him. This was going to be a very long day and he couldn't wait for his date with Clare more than ever.

()()

As Eli predicted, the day wasn't exactly pleasant. For the first time, he actually saw what Clare and Adam have been telling him this whole time. Every time he saw Kate, she would grin and bat her eyelashes at him. His day consisted of more flirtatious notions from Kate and frustrated looks from Adam, who couldn't believe that he didn't just get it over with when he had the chance. He now wished he _did _take Adam's advice and talked to Kate before the Calculus test if not right after; maybe then he wouldn't have felt so guilty every time he saw Clare that day. She smiled her usual beautiful smile when she saw him in English, lunch, and in the hallways like she always did. And throughout the day, she gave him little grins every time they saw each other to subtly show that she was looking forward to Saturday. These little hints of joy she presented made Eli feel worse and worse about what occurred the day before.

He now stood in front of his locker as he transported his books into it before the last period of the day. He was now growing anxious for the end of the class for reasons he couldn't understand. His mind had been absorbed all day by countless thoughts of what could go wrong or what Kate would say and he didn't even bother to try to comprehend how he was able to get through this day without losing it.

Basically, Eli had become so zoned-out that he jumped a little when he felt a gentle hand touch his shoulder. He quickly turned around and saw Clare standing next to him, extracting her hand from him.

"Clare," he sighed in relief. "I'm sorry, you just –."

"Scared you?" she grinned jokingly.

"I was going to say 'startled'," he clarified, returning her small smile.

"Okay then," she accepted, still smiling. She noticed that he was looking a bit out of it again today just like he was the day before. "Having another one of those days?"

"Well, to put it mildly . . . I'd rather drill my own teeth," he confessed.

"Ouch," she said before taking his hand. At her touch, Eli started to feel a swarm of regret fill him again. He looked into her beautiful blue eyes and wished with all his heart he could've changed what happened yesterday.

"Well, think of it this way," Clare smiled at him. "Saturday it's just going to be you and me. And . . . um . . . I just wanted to let you know I'm really, _really_ looking forward to it."

"Me too," Eli agreed, his heart now hammering against his ribcage in compunction.

They heard the bell ring through the halls and then they knew they had to part.

"I better get going," Clare said reluctantly.

"Same here," he nodded. "See you tomorrow."

"Okay," she smiled before letting go of his hand. "I love you."

As she said those words, Eli felt a huge blade of guilt pierce his heart. It was then that he realized he probably was going to feel this way until he came clean to her. He didn't know what was going to happen when he did tell her, but he knew that it wasn't going to be any easier if he kept this secret.

"I love you, too," he said honestly.

She started to turn towards her next class until Eli took a deep breath and prepared for what he had to do.

"Clare," he called when she was two yards away from him. She turned back to him they met each other halfway.

"Yeah?"

"There's . . . a reason I've been acting differently the last two days," he began to confess.

"Is everything alright?"

"Well . . . it's a long story and I'm not quite sure how to tell you it," he tried to say.

"Is it . . . bad?" Clare asked apprehensively.

"A bit . . . it's more of a misunderstanding than anything."

"Well, I'm sure it's not too bad," Clare tried to reassure.

_You have no idea_, Eli replied in his head.

"Actually, it has something to do with –."

"Miss Edwards! Mr. Goldsworthy! You two need to get to class!" called Simpson from down the hall. It was then when they realized the hall was basically deserted.

"Yes sir," Clare replied.

"Can I give you a ride home?" Eli offered. "We could talk then."

"Okay," she accepted. "I'll meet you outside your class."

Before Eli could protest, she started running down the hallway.

()()

"Glad you could join us, Mr. Goldsworthy," the Physics teacher told Eli as he entered the class five minutes later. "One more tardy and that's a detention."

He ignored the threat as he took his usual seat by Adam, avoiding all eye-contact with Kate until the end of the class.

"What kept you?" Adam whispered as the teacher started to lecture as he wrote some stuff on the whiteboard.

"Talking to Clare," he replied. "I'm telling her the truth after I talk to Kate."

"Really?"

"Yeah; I can't keep in her in the dark and . . . the guilt is going to kill me."

"Told you," Adam said.

"You're not always right," Eli barked. "And, as far as I see it, no matter what I do this isn't going to end well. Either I don't tell her and I live with this guilt even though I know she'll eventually find some way to get the reason I feel so bad out of me, I'll tell her, she gets her heart broken. I tell her tomorrow, her weekend becomes hell, she gets her heart broken. I tell her today, she gets her heart broken but at least I don't cause her more pain or waste more of her time."

"You know, I always took you for a _realist _not a _pessimist_," Adam commented.

"I am being a realist."

"Dude, this is _Clare_ we're talking about. I'm sure that if you just explain to her that you don't like Kate and that the kiss was out of your control, give her some space to get over the shock, then she'll understand."

Eli took this into consideration before reaching one conclusion . . .

"I take it back, you are always right."

"I'm glad you finally realize that."

()()

Clare sat in the back of her Geometry class, her mind not being fully dedicated to the new unit the teacher was explaining. All she could think about was Eli. Not the usual witty, lovable Eli, but the distant, quiet one. She knew something wasn't right with him even before he told her. Now she was worried that something could be seriously wrong with him. Her mind was now consumed with the worst thoughts that she didn't even notice Dave whispering her name from her left side.

"Clare? Clare?" he kept saying countless times. Clare didn't respond, so he poked her in the arm with the eraser on his pencil. This immediately brought her back to Earth and she turned her head to Dave.

"Yeah?" Clare asked as she tried to act like everything was fine.

"You okay?"

"Fine; never better," she lied. "W-why do you ask?"

Dave nodded his head towards her hands. She looked down and saw that she held a half of a broken pencil in each hand. She connected the dots and reached the conclusion that she had been so tense that she snapped a pencil cleanly in half.

"Are you _sure_ you're okay?" Dave asked.

"Yeah," Clare reassured, getting a new pencil out of her bag, wishing that this class period would hurry up. "Just a bit . . . distracted, that's all."

"Okay, distracted. I got ya," he nodded, assuming that she was thinking about Eli in the opposite way than she was truly thinking.

Dave turned his attention back to the class as Clare sat there, still not taking in any of the words the teacher was saying. Instead, she let her thoughts wander as she glanced up at the clock every minute or so, wishing and wishing for the class to finally end.

* * *

"_There's mistakes that I have made_

_Some chances I just threw away_

_Some roads I never should've taken_

_Been some signs I didn't see_

_Hearts that I hurt needlessly"_

_~"Lessons Learned" by Carrie Underwood_

* * *

Will Eli tell Kate how he feels? Will he ever tell Clare the truth? Will Adam ever be wrong? Will I ever stop updating this story frequently? Find out on the next chapter of "If We Hold On Together"! Now for your local evening news! Sorry, couldn't resist, lol. This was actually the first chapter I wrote for this story! Crazy, right? Mind you, I've made a few changes since I made some changes so it could fit the storyline. I'll update after tomorrow's episode! Reviews please!


	33. Butterflies

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

I love you all so much right now! You make my dreary days! Seriously angry at Degrassi right now (reasons why, I think, are fairly obvious), but you're reviews make me want to write more, so the universe somehow restores the balances! Read, review, enjoy! Once again, short and intense chapter. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi! I'm not the one you're after!

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Three

Butterflies

The dismissal bell finally rang for the Degrassi students. The Physics lab was starting to empty as the students started to leave. The teacher left the classroom believing that the remaining students would follow suit. Before long, it was just Eli, Adam, and Kate in the room.

"Good luck," Adam wished Eli as he gave him an encouraging thump on the back before he left the room.

Eli suddenly started to feel nauseated, yet he couldn't explain why. If he felt this bad while talking to Kate, he didn't even want to know how he'd feel when he talked to Clare. He took a few deep breaths before standing up and facing Kate, who was now standing next to his desk.

"So," she grinned, running a hand through her hair in a flirtatious manner. "What was that we were talking about earlier today?"

"What did say you'd to tell Clare about yesterday?" Eli demanded.

"Well, she's going to find out about us eventually and since we're both girls, it wouldn't seem so bad coming from me," Kate explained.

"If anyone is going to tell Clare what happened yesterday, it's going to be me," Eli put bluntly. "She deserves to hear it from me."

"Okay . . . that works too," Kate accepted, taking a step towards Eli that caused him to take a step back. "Eli, I have to come clean. I understand that what we said years ago is in the past, but I've been feeling something here for a while and –."

"Kate," Eli interrupted before she got any more ideas in her head. "What happened yesterday shouldn't have happened."

Kate's face fell, clearly taken aback at Eli's statement.

"But, Eli, we kissed."

"No. _You _kissed me. I was caught off guard and I didn't know how to react, that's why I stood there."

"You said the guy I liked wouldn't turn me down!"

"And I meant it, but if I knew the guy you were talking about was me, I never would've told you that," Eli explained, frustrated that he put himself in this position.

"So you lied?"

"Listen, if you were interested in any other guy it would've been the truth. But with me, it's not."

"That's cold, Eli," Kate spat, putting her hands on her hips. "Now you're going to tell me you don't feel anything?"

"I didn't," he said honestly.

"Come on! I've been here for months and, ever since you helped with the play, the two of us had had some kind of connection, you never said anything against my advances, we almost kissed, and you didn't do anything to stop me from kissing you yesterday! Now you're just going to tell me there's _nothing between us_?"

"I didn't notice any connection or any of the advances you made and I didn't mean almost kiss you, and I don't know why I didn't do anything to stop you from kissing me yesterday, but I should've."

"But –."

"I'm in love with Clare. She's the one I want to be with more than anyone . . . and . . . I'm flattered that you like me in that way, but we can't be together."

Kate licked her lips and thought for a second.

"She doesn't have to know anything that we do," she suggested.

Eli couldn't believe his ears; this girl who he thought was his friend was now asking him to do the unspeakable.

"You want me to cheat on Clare?"

"If that's what you want to call it."

"That's out of the question," he stated bluntly. "I wouldn't cheat on Clare for anything or anyone."

"Fine, but what if Clare wasn't in the picture?" Kate inquired.

"She is in the picture, Kate. Nothing's gonna change that."

"But what _if _she wasn't?" she demanded.

"Whether she is or isn't, I just want you and I to be friends," Eli said. "I'm sorry, but I don't feel any chemistry between us."

Kate stood there, folded her arms, and closed her eyes for a second.

"You're such a nice guy. Go figure! Every nice guy I like has a girlfriend!" she cried.

"I'm sorry I led you on, Kate," he apologized. "I'm sorry about everything. It's nothing personal, alright?"

"Really? Because it feels that way to me."

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

They stood there in an awkward, not to mention uncomfortable, silence.

"Do you understand where I'm coming from?" Eli asked after a few seconds.

She looked Eli directly in the eye and grabbed each side of his jacket.

"You don't feel any chemistry? I guess I'll just have to create some," she whispered.

And, before Eli could protest or do anything, once again she placed her lips to his. Aware of the situation this time, he tried to break away from it. Except every time he tried, Kate just pulled herself into him again. Eli wasn't sure how long it lasted, but a voice pulled him back to Earth.

"Oh my God!" it screeched.

Kate broke away at last and Eli turned his head towards the entrance of the classroom. He saw Clare standing there, tears of hurt and disappointment in her eyes. Without another word she turned away from them and sprinted down the hall.

"Clare!" he hollered after her, freeing himself from Kate's grip.

"Eli –!" she tried to call as he wrestled away from her.

"Kate, don't talk to me anymore! Stay away from me!" he ordered before he left the classroom.

He ran down the hall to catch up to Clare.

"Clare! Clare! Clare, please wait!"

She just kept rushing as fast as she could down the hallway without looking back. She didn't even bother to wipe the tears from her face; she was too hurt and felt too betrayed to care about the water that flooded her cheeks. She knew people were also staring, but that was another thing she could care less about. She was walking out of the school and going down the steps when she felt someone grab her arm.

"Clare, hold on for a second," Eli pleaded.

"Don't touch me!" Clare demanded, yanking her arm away from him.

"Please, let me explain."

"Just answer me something," Clare said, turning to him without meeting his eyes; it would've been too painful to look at him directly. "Is this what you've wanted to tell me? That you make-out with Kate whenever I'm not looking? Did you mean any of the things you said to me? Did you mean it when you said you loved me, that I was the one for you, and that you wanted to be with me forever or was that all just lies?"

"Please listen. It's not what you think."

"_That's_ reassuring!" she snapped; that was one of the oldest lines in the book. "When did you guys start? Did you guys meet a few times when I was gone over break? Or was it a long time ago and you said all that crap about being in love with me just so I wouldn't suspect anything?"

"Kate and I have nothing going on," he promised.

"Bite me!"

"I'm telling you the truth."

"It's over, Eli! I told you I wasn't going through anything like this again. You promised me that this wouldn't happen! I'm done," she cried, before running off the campus as fast as she could.

"Clare!" he called, trying to catch-up with her, only to be blocked by groups of people. By the time he got through the crowd, Clare was since out of sight.

Frustrated with himself, Eli walked back into the school to retrieve his belongings. He didn't see Kate when he got his bag and books from the Physics class, but it brought little to no relief. He got to his locker and wrenched it open. He, literally, threw his books into his locker and slammed it shut. Furious with himself and Kate, he started hitting his locker.

He gave the locker at least twenty punches before he stopped. He turned around and sat against his locker, tears actually filling his eyes. He didn't know how could've been so stupid. He should've listened to Clare and Adam, but he didn't and _this_ happens. He got himself into this mess, now he had to pay the consequences.

"Eli?"

He looked up and saw a concerned Adam standing over him. He didn't bother to wipe the tears away; he knew Adam wouldn't care.

"What happened?" Adam asked worriedly, taking a seat next to Eli.

"I talked to Kate . . . I told her we could just be friends . . . she kissed me again," Eli began to explain.

"No way! That girl needs to get a wakeup call!"

"That's not the worst part," Eli continued shakily. "I tried to pull away, but she just wouldn't let up . . . then Clare . . ." He couldn't go on. Thankfully, Adam caught on.

"Oh no Eli, I'm so sorry," he said sympathetically. "What did she say?"

"She didn't have to say anything. I broke her heart in the worst way, so she's never gonna talk to me again."

"And she doesn't even know what truly happened."

"I know!" Eli snapped. "But, before she left, she broke-up with me."

"I'm sorry," Adam said again.

"I deserve it. I didn't listen to her, I didn't tell her when I had the chance, and I let it happen twice."

Adam sympathetically grasped Eli's shoulder for a brief second.

"So? Are you going to say it?" Eli asked as he stared at the ground.

"What?" Adam asked.

"I told you so."

Adam just shook his head.

"Maybe once we can all look back on this and laugh about it I will . . . but not while both of my best friends are hurting like hell."

Although he appreciated the comfort Adam was trying to give him, his anguish was hardly eased. They were silent until Eli abruptly stood up on his feet.

"I need to talk to Clare."

"Eli, you just said she's probably not going to want to speak to you," Adam reminded.

"I have to try," he said, setting off down the hall.

* * *

"_Gonna cry to the bottom of my heart_

_I never thought, I never thought it'd be so hard_

_I'm freaking out but I don't really care"_

_~"Butterflies" by Automatic Loveletter_

* * *

Hi guys . . . let the hating begin! Apparently you guys were right about Kate. Reviews please . . . please don't hurt me too much!


	34. Chiquitita

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Okay, last night's episode made me extremely happy! In fact, I'm so happy with it that I feel kind of bad putting up a sad-ish chapter, but I have to post it at some point, so . . .

Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi! Hello! If I did I would be stinking rich and I would actually be able to buy all the BVB merch at Hot Topic (which I don't own either).

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chiquitita

Clare didn't bother going home; instead she started going in the direction of the Bhandari's home. She needed to talk to Alli; she was the only person who would understand more than anyone because of what happened with her and Adam's brother last year.

She let the tears run down her face as all the images of Kate and Eli's kiss bombarded her mind. Every time she tried to stop them, more just came so she just let them fall. Her eyes were red and her eye make-up was running, but she could've cared less. All that she knew was that the person she loved more than anything had betrayed her and shattered her heart.

Clare pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed her home number. She waited a few rings until someone answered.

"Hello," the voice of her mom greeted.

"Hi Mom, it's me," Clare said, hoping her voice didn't sound too upset.

"Hi Clare."

"Uh . . . Mom, is it okay if I go to Alli's for a few hours?"

"Sure . . . Clare, are you alright? You sound a little upset," Mrs. Edwards pointed out.

"It's just been a really, _really _bad day and I just need a friend," Clare admitted honestly.

"Okay, but you know you can talk to me when you need to, right?"

"I know; thanks, Mom. I'll be home before ten," she promised.

"Bye, love you."

Love. That word pierced her soul. The last person who told her those words a mere few hours ago crushed her. That very thought sent more tears into Clare's eyes.

"Love you too," she managed to choke out before hanging up her phone.

Clare arrived at the Bhandari's and began wiping away her tears, hoping either Mr. or Mrs. Bhandari wouldn't question the redness of her eyes. She took a deep breath while she tried to compose herself. She knocked on the door and waited patiently for someone to answer.

After a few seconds, the face of Mrs. Bhandari opened the door.

"Clare," she grinned. "It's nice to see you again; it's been too long."

"Nice to see you too, Mrs. Bhandari," Clare smiled, trying not too seem too depressed. "Um . . . is Alli home?"

"Yes, please come in," she said, letting Clare come in the house. "Is everything alright, Clare?"

"I-I'm fine, thank you," Clare lied.

"Okay . . . she's in her room; you can go on up there."

"Thank you," Clare said before making her way up to Alli's room.

She arrived at the door to Alli's room and knocked.

"Come in," the friendly voice of her friend greeted.

Clare walked into the room and saw Alli sitting on her bed doing some kind of homework assignment. She turned to see Clare standing there, eyes bloodshot and full of tears.

"Clare? What's wrong?"

"Alli," Clare began to say before she started crying again.

Alli didn't say anything else; she just stood up and gave Clare a big hug to give her comfort. Clare reciprocated the hug and let Alli lead her to the bed.

After a few minutes of nonstop sobbing, Clare pulled out of the hug a rubbed her eyes, trying to calm down.

"Sorry."

"Hey, don't worry; I'm here for you," Alli reassured. "Now what's going on?"

Clare turned away and looked down at her shoes, trying to find the right words.

"It's Eli," she began, shrugging her bag off onto the floor.

"Oh no . . . did he break-up with you?"

Clare shook her head.

"I wish," she said once more forms of liquid hurt trickled down her cheeks.

"What do you mean?"

Clare looked up at Alli, who wore sympathetic eyes.

"Remember that girl Kate I told you about and how she seemed to be flirting with Eli?"

Alli nodded, assuming the worst already.

"I was going to meet him outside his Physics class today . . . I looked inside the classroom and I-I saw him kissing her," she explained, bursting into tears as she said the last words.

"What?" Alli growled.

"He kissed her, Alli! He told me that he was in love in me, but now he's kissing this girl!"

Alli shook her head in disappointment.

"But I thought you guys went on that double date last month with her and Adam so this wouldn't happen," she recalled.

"Me too, but I guess that didn't matter. She still likes him and, basing on what I saw today, he likes her too."

"Clare, I'm so, so sorry," Alli said empathetically, giving another hug to her friend. She never had anything bad to say about Eli, but this was just too much. As far as she knew now, Eli Goldsworthy was another worthless, heartless guy who didn't deserve her best friend in any way, shape, or form . . . just like K.C before him.

She let Clare cry a bit more until they heard a phone ring. Clare pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked at the caller ID. Her heart sunk at the name.

"It's him."

"Don't answer it."

"I'm not going to."

After a few rings, the phone went off . . . only to start up again a minute later, Eli still being the caller.

"Seriously?" Clare snapped angrily.

They ignored it again the second attempt and the third . . . but the fourth time made Clare snap. Losing all control, she answered the phone before Alli could stop her.

"How many times do you have to call me until you get the message?" she nearly yelled into the phone as she got off the bed.

"Clare, please listen," Eli began to plead as he sat in Morty, who was still parked in the Degrassi parking lot.

"I don't want to hear it! Give me one good reason why I should!" she shouted.

"Because I love you," he spat out; he knew that statement was probably not going to work, but he didn't think of that until he said it.

"Ha!" she barked. "Then why did you kiss her?" she added rhetorically.

"Please let me explain what happened."

"No! You promised me that you would never leave me for her! You told me that we'd be together forever! You broke both of those promises!"

"I'm not leaving you for her."

"You already did?"

"She kissed me, Clare!"

"It takes two to tango! We're done, got it? And don't you dare call this phone back!" Clare demanded before snapping the phone shut.

"Do you want me to give him a piece of my mind?" Alli offered once Clare sat back down on the bed.

"No thanks. When I'm ready, I'll do it myself," Clare denied.

"Okay."

There was silence save for Clare's heartbroken sobs.

"Idiot," she growled at herself.

"He is," Alli agreed.

"No," she corrected. "Not him . . . _me_."

"Clare, _you're _the victim here, not Eli. _You _didn't ask him to kiss that girl. _You _were the one who told him not to trust her."

"I know . . . I mean . . . what did I do to him?" Clare demanded. "What did I do to him that led him to . . . _cheat _on me? What did I do, Alli?"

"Clare, you didn't do anything," she reassured. "He is just a big jerk who doesn't deserve you. Don't do this to yourself!"

"Alli . . .," Clare began. "I thought he was _the one_. And that's what's killing me!"

"I know," Alli said, giving Clare another huge hug.

"And do you want to know what sucks the most?"

Clare pulled out of Alli's embrace and reached for her bag. She rummaged through it for a minute or two until she pulled out a small box and handed it to Alli. She read the writing on the box and was stunned to see what was on it.

"Oh my God, Clare," she gasped in complete shock. "Birth control pills?"

"I know," Clare said, more tears forming.

"You're having sex with him?" Alli assumed in disbelief.

"I wanted to . . . I was going to," Clare confessed. "This weekend we were going on this date and . . . I was going to tell him I was ready and hope for the best . . . but that dream went down the drain!"

"How long have you –?"

"I started taking them a week after we said we loved each other. I was going to do it with him a month or so after I'd been on them, but he had to go to dinner with his parents and that skank's parents and there seemed like there was no other good time, so I just kept taking them and waited and waited. Now the perfect moment shows up and everything blows up in my face!" Clare ranted, crying again.

"He doesn't know you're on them?"

"No and he's not going to find out," she added, taking back the pills and stuffing them back in her bag. "This is our secret. No one else knows, so please don't say anything."

"I won't, I promise."

()()

The girls were now sitting at the Bhandari's dining room table drinking some coffee a few minutes later. Mrs. Bhandari went to do some shopping, leaving Clare and Alli alone in the house. Clare had calmed down a little, but some tears still stood in her eyes and her heart was still breaking.

"Why do I always do this to myself? I always go for the guys who I think are great, and then they leave me for some other girl."

"You don't go asking them to be cruel to you," Alli reminded her. "You give them nothing but love, kindness, and respect then they treat you like dirt. That just means there's something wrong with them if they can't see how awesome you are."

"Thanks," Clare grinned through the tears.

"No problem."

"But enough about my life," she said as she removed the water from her face. "How are you?"

"Well, right now, I want to take a frying pan and hit a certain ass in the head with it," Alli said with a maniacal grin on her face. Clare actual felt a small smile of gratitude come to her face. She was glad Alli was there for her just like any best friend should be.

There suddenly came a knock at the door. Alli got up and walked from the dining room to the door. Without looking through the window to see who it was first, she opened the door. Eli was standing there, his eyes bloodshot, but he stood there in his casual way.

"What do _you_ want?" Alli sneered at him.

"Clare told you what happened? I need to talk to her," he stated, his voice dry and rough.

"This isn't her house, in case you couldn't tell," Alli replied bitterly as she tried to shut the door.

Eli stuck his hand out to prevent the door from closing.

"I went by her house, she wasn't there, I went by the Dot, she wasn't there, I went to all the places she could be, and this is the only other place," he explained.

"Well, she's not here! And she _did_ tell me what you did . . . bastard!"

"You two don't know the whole story," he said as he wrestled to keep the door open.

"You and that other girl kissed. That's all we need to know."

"That's not what happened."

"Oh, so you guys didn't kiss?" she said scornfully.

Eli hung his head and didn't speak.

"That's what I thought. Now get the hell away from my house."

"Do you know where I could find Clare?" he asked, hoping in vain that she would actually tell him.

"Even if I did, why should I tell you?" Alli sneered as she tried to close the door shut again.

"Alli?" Clare's voice asked.

_Bad timing, Clare_, Alli thought to herself as she heard Clare coming down the hall.

"Alli, what's going – oh," she said, turning to the ground as she saw Eli.

"Don't worry, Clare, he was just leaving."

"Clare," Eli tried to say as he stuck his foot in the door while Alli tried to shut it. No matter how hard Alli attempted to slam the door, his foot wouldn't budge.

"I'm calling the police," Alli surrendered, pulling out her cell phone.

Clare stood there, not knowing what to say or do. She was furious at Eli, so he thought he deserved to be arrested for trespassing . . . but part of her still loved him, so she didn't want to see anything happen to him.

"Fine, I'll go," Eli accepted. "But Clare –."  
Clare turned back to the dining room before another word could be said. Eli felt his already shattered heart turn to dust as he pulled his foot out of the door and made his way off the Bhandari's property.

"Good riddance," Alli grinned victoriously before putting her phone back in her pocket and walking back to the dining room.

She saw Clare's tears return as she rested her head in her hand. Alli sat next to Clare wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulder.

"It'll be okay," she reassured her as she let cry her eyes out once again.

* * *

"_So the walls came tumbling down_

_And your love's a blown out candle_

_All is gone and it seems too hard to handle"_

_~"Chiquitita" by ABBA_

* * *

Sorry it was a short chapter. I wanted to put in a friendship chapter between Clare and Alli! Please review!


	35. All Out of Love

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you people for the reviews once again! They make me so happy! This story has now been up for six months today! I can't believe it! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: You guys know I don't own Degrassi, but let's pretend that I do and send me lots of money in the form of reviews!

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Five

All Out of Love

Eli drove with no proper idea where his destination was going to be. All he was sure of was that Clare wasn't talking to him and she didn't want anything to do with him anymore; the way she stood to the side and didn't speak at the Bhandari's house when Alli threatened to call to police was all the proof he needed of that.

He wasn't certain if she was acting this way out of anger and hurt or if she was seriously not going to talk to him again; either way, he knew that he deserved it. The only thing important to him now was that Clare was upset and it was his fault. In the back of his mind he blamed Kate for what happened, but he knew that it wouldn't have been right for him to not accept some responsibility.

His thoughts were consumed by Clare, Kate, even more of Clare, and this unfortunate day for at least an hour until he decided to stop driving around town and pull over to the side of the road. He turned down the radio, unable to listen to anymore lyrics that had to do with love or heartbreak. Eli tried to clear his head . . . a mission that failed miserably. All he saw was Clare's sad, heartbroken face and her tear-filled eyes.

Deciding to make an attempt to make things right one more time, he pulled out his phone and called Clare's number. The phone rang three times and then her voice filled his ear.

"Hi, it's Clare," her outgoing message greeted him for the fourth time that day. "Sorry I missed you but leave a message and I'll call you back soon."

"Clare, it's me," he began to leave his message. "I just wanted to let you know . . . I'm sorry about what happened and . . . I need to talk to you about it because it isn't what you think. I know that's a stupid thing for me to say, but please believe me. I didn't want it to happen and I'm sorry that it did. I can't tell you the whole story in one message so . . . please call me back. Please."

He hung up the phone and fought all temptation to call her again. Eli knew that if he kept calling her, she'd never want to talk to him. So, from that point on, he decided to give her space until she called him back. Unfortunately, he didn't know when she'd call back . . . assuming she _did_ call back.

Once again, he started driving, but this time he knew his destination.

He parked Morty into his driveway and made a beeline straight to his room. His parents weren't home, so he didn't need to worry about disturbing anyone as he slammed his bedroom door and threw his backpack forcefully into the corner. He lied down on his bed and wiped his eyes of the tears that still remained in him.

He rolled over on his side and looked on his nightstand; there was a clock, a lava-lamp, a comic, an empty soda can, and, most importantly, a picture frame. It was a simple, navy-blue picture frame, but that's not what made it special. The picture was special . . . the person in it was special.

It was of Eli and Clare over the summer break. The two of them and Adam went to an amusement park just outside the city to celebrate the end of the school year. It was fun, just the three of them hanging-out. Eli took the picture off the table and looked at it. His arm was around Clare's shoulders and her head rested on his shoulder. She was also holding a plush panda bear that Eli won for her at the game with the bottles and ball. They were both grinning as they stood under a tree outside the park. Adam took the picture and gave it to Eli once he got all the others printed.

This had since become Eli's favorite picture, not just because it resembled a great day he had going on the rides, playing the games, and eating carnival food. It was also a day he spent with his best friend and girlfriend . . . a day he would never forget.

He now tried to hold back tears as he thought the worst. Clare would probably never forgive him for what he did, and that would mean that reflecting on all the memories of her, the two of them together, or the two of them with Adam would be painful to reflect on. He also knew that if Clare didn't forgive him, he wouldn't be able to have pleasant times, like the carnival, with her again.

This very thought broke Eli. He put the picture back on the side table before screaming into a pillow. He screamed as loud as he could until he ran out of air when and finally stopped. It didn't really make him feel any happier, but he got out some frustration. He lied his head back down on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. He replayed the day in his head, feeling more and more stupid, not to mention guilt-ridden, every time he did so. It wasn't too long until he felt tears start to glide silently out of his eyes.

He knew he was torturing himself, but he didn't care. Clare was heartbroken, distraught, and feeling a hundred – maybe even a million – times worse. In fact, even though Eli didn't know it, Clare was sitting in her room at this very moment crying her eyes out as she wrote a very depressing story about betrayal. Since Eli knew she felt that bad, he accepted that it was only fair he felt the same pain, therefore he didn't try to stop the day's horrid events from soaring through his mind. Even if he did make the attempt to cease the images, they would just keep on playing like a horrible movie. It was as though venom was streaming through his veins at an alarming rate.

Eli didn't know how long he lied there, but after what felt like an eternity, he was snapped out of his zone by the sound of his phone ringing. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and read the caller ID. He was slightly crestfallen to see that it wasn't Clare calling, but Adam.

"Hey," he greeted glumly.

"Hey. Did you talk to Clare yet?" Adam asked.

"I tried to but she doesn't want to see me. I just left a message on her phone telling her to talk to me when she's ready," Eli explained, the idea of not hearing Clare's voice being close to unbearable.

"That's a good plan. How're you holding up?"

"Badly," he put bluntly.

"I'm sorry Eli," Adam sympathized. "Need to talk?"

"Thanks, but no thanks. I just need some time to myself."

"Okay, I understand. Good luck; I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks; see ya," Eli said before hanging up his phone and putting it on his nightstand.

()()

He stared at his phone for centuries . . . or at least that's how it felt to him. It might have been an hour, it might have been five minutes, but all of time seemed to last forever. Eli knew that if he kept looking at the phone, it would never ring. He used all will power he had to not call Clare, but it was a hard battle. Accepting the fact that she wouldn't be calling anytime soon, Eli walked out of his room and left the phone behind on the table.

He walked down to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. He walked into the kitchen to see CeCe and Bullfrog talking.

"Hey there, stranger," CeCe joked when she saw Eli come in.

"How long have you guys been home?" he asked pulling out a water bottle from the refrigerator.

"A few minutes," Bullfrog answered.

"How was school – sweetheart, are you okay?" CeCe asked, seeing Eli's red eyes.

"Fine," Eli lied before taking a drink.

"Are you sure? You look like you've been crying?"

Eli didn't respond; instead he just stared at the ground while screwing the cap back on the bottle.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he attempted to mislead.

"Eli, if there's something on your mind –."

"I'm fine, Mom. Okay?" he repeated angrily. He then saw CeCe's shocked and slightly hurt face before he started to feel worse than ever. "I'm sorry; Clare and I just . . ."

"Oh no," CeCe said sadly.

"You guys broke-up?" Bullfrog asked sympathetically.

Eli shrugged; he honestly didn't know what this meant for them. Obviously they weren't an item anymore, but it wasn't like Clare to walk away from a dedicated relationship without hearing every side of the story. Unfortunately, he knew that he would be acting the same way if he walked in on Clare kissing a childhood friend he didn't trust.

"Do you need to talk, baby boy?" his mother asked comfortingly.

Eli shook his head before heading into the living room. However, he doubled-back and stepped in the kitchen again.

"Are you guys particularly close with the Parkers?" he asked.

"Um . . . well . . ." Bullfrog debated in his head. "They are nice, but not the same couple we knew from school. You saw how it was when we went to their house that one time; we didn't exactly have much in common. It was one of those instances when you think people would be the same as they were way back when, but they're not."

"I know the feeling," Eli muttered to himself. He knew the grade one Kate would've have gone this far to get something she desired; the grade twelve Kate, however, didn't care who she hurt as long as she got what she wanted.

"But that doesn't mean you and Kate can't be friends," Bullfrog added quickly.

"I think I'll pass on that," Eli said before leaving the kitchen for real this time and entering the living room.

He sat down in an armchair while he massaged his eyes with his index finger and thumb on his left hand as he clenched the bottle in his right. He sat there for who knows how long just thinking about the day again. He wanted to be with Clare right now and comfort her and assure her that he still loved her.

Eli sat there for a while, but he saw his dad enter the room after a bit more time had passed.

"Dinner's in five minutes," Bullfrog told Eli as he sat on the sofa.

"Can I pass? I'm not really hungry."

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't seem yourself."

Eli shrugged, not sure if he wanted to tell what happened today or not.

"Today seriously sucked, that's all," he sugarcoated.

"Sorry about that. Are you really sure you don't want to talk about what happened with Clare?"

Eli didn't know what to do or how to handle this and he doubted that screaming into a pillow until Clare talked to him again was going to help.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What is it, son?"

"When you and Mom were dating did you do anything incredibly stupid? Something that could've been prevented but it happened anyway?"

"I'm guessing you and Clare got into a fight," Bullfrog assumed.

"Something like that."

"What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it . . . let's just say I did something unbelievably stupid and she's probably not gonna talk to me again."

"It couldn't have been _that _bad," Bullfrog said.

"Dad, if _I_ was in Clare's position, I wouldn't want to talk to me again."

"So it is that bad?"

"You have _no_ idea," Eli sighed.

"Well, don't beat yourself up too hard; I'm sure whatever you did will either blow over or Clare will forgive you. Just give it time."

"I wish it was that easy," he replied.

"Hey, the Clare Edwards I know will come around at some point, talk to you, you'll make up, and you two will be able to pick up where you left off."

"I hope you're right," Eli accepted. "Thanks Dad."

"No problem," Bullfrog said. "You're sure you don't want to eat? Mom's making lasagna."

"I think I'm just gonna go in my room and think for a while," Eli excused himself.

"Okay; we'll save some for you though in case you get hungry later," Bullfrog called as Eli made his way out of the living room.

"Alright, thanks," Eli replied. He wouldn't want to; lasagna was Italian and he remembered Clare telling him months ago that she could make almost every Italian dish known to man. He recalled that the same day she told him this was also the same day they pledge to be together forever. Unfortunately, their dream of being together that long only lasted another three months.

He entered his room and sat down at his desk. His eyes immediately turned yet another picture he had of Clare. It was a print-out of four small photo-booth pictures that he had pinned to the wall above his desk. The pictures contained him and Clare from when they went to an arcade a few months after they started dating. Eli smiled at the memories of that day as he pulled out the thumbtack and took it off the wall.

He looked at the pictures. In the first one, he and Clare were simply smiling with his arms wrapped around her. In the second one, Eli was crossing his eyes as Clare stuck out her tongue. The third one had him and Clare throwing fake punches at each other. The final one had the two of them kissing. As he looked at it, he recalled the taste of Clare on his lips and tongue.

For the umpteenth time that day, he felt tears swell in his eyes. He looked at the pictures one more time before pinning them back on the wall.

"I'm sorry, Clare," he said to the smiling picture. "For everything."

Eli looked at the picture for countless more moments before he walked over to his bed. According to his watch, it was only seven o'clock. Funny, he'd thought it was later than that. He guessed time was going by painstakingly slow because he was dwelling on the hurt. But he couldn't help it.

Deciding that staying up any longer was just going to torture him, Eli stripped into his boxers and changed into a normal gray t-shirt that one size too big for him. He turned out his light and climbed into his bed. He lied on his side and saw the carnival picture that was visible thanks to the rays of streetlights that were able to creep through his blinds to make a soft blue glow in his room.

"I love you Clare," he whispered to the picture, wishing that it was the real Clare instead that was hearing his voice. "Please forgive me."

He stared at the picture until sleep overtook him at last.

* * *

"_I'm lying alone with my head on the phone_

_Thinking of you till it hurts_

_I know you hurt too but what else can we do_

_Tormented and torn apart"_

_~ "All Out of Love" by Air Supply_

* * *

I'll try to update next week when the next EClare related episode comes on, but school is stressing me out although I've hardly been back a week. But hopefully the episodes won't come on four times a week so I can actually have more time to edit what I've written. I'll see you guys next week! Please submit views of the "re" variety!


	36. God Bless You

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for reviewing (all of which I love) and I'm sorry I made some of you cry. And Giselle, I wasn't even considering using the song "Carolyn" for anything, but now I think I might use it in a later chapter! Thank you (and shame on me for not thinking of that earlier. lol)! Anyway, I wrote most of this chapter over the summer at the local library and, honestly, I was so enthused to write it! You'll see why! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, so if you're going to get revenge on anyone, please let it be the ones who killed our beloved EClare. Let's just hope the same people resurrect them!

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Six

God Bless You

Clare woke up the next day, her insides cold. She wanted nothing more than to stay in her bed and hide herself away from the world and every last person in it. Unfortunately, she knew her mom wouldn't let her stay home unless she had some kind of illness or something happened to a family member. She had half a mind to tell Helen the whole story about what occurred yesterday, but she didn't want to think about the situation, let alone say anything about it.

She took her birth control pill last night out of habit, but she knew she had to go off them eventually since she was not going to be intimate with Eli at all. She didn't back in November, she wasn't going to on Saturday like she planned, and she wasn't going to let it happen in the future.

Eli crossed the line that she never wanted to draw. She tried not to be angry or hurt, but she knew that was like telling water not to be wet or zebras not to be striped. She shouldn't have been wasting her emotions on a guy who cheated on her, but it was sincerely difficult to continue since it didn't even happen a day ago and it was someone she loved.

Although he kissed Kate, betrayed her, and broke her heart, that wasn't the reason she felt so disheartened. Even though she didn't want to be, Clare was still in love with him.

"No," she scolded herself as she combed her hair. "He kissed Kate. He doesn't care about you anymore, why should you care about him? If he loved you, he wouldn't have done this but he did, therefore you shouldn't feel anything for him anymore. You can't love him anymore, Edwards."

Edwards . . . that was one of the many nicknames he had for her along with Blue Eyes, babe, Piglet, baby, and his love. Was everything he called her just names instead something with meaning like he made her believe? She felt her eyes swell with tears, but she rubbed them away.

Clare understood that the pain was going to last for a while and it would take time to get over someone who she thought was her soul mate, but she didn't want to show her pain to the rest of the world if she could avoid it. She took in a breath and went down stairs.

She went to the kitchen and got herself some cereal before sitting down at the table. She tried to block Eli from her mind, but it was hard. She moved her cereal around the bowl in a feeble attempt to distract herself. Unfortunately, it didn't work. Clare just continued to eat until her dish was empty then she rinsed it out in the sink.

"Morning sweetie," Mrs. Edwards greeted her as she stepped into the kitchen.

"Hi Mom," Clare replied as she turned off the water; she hoped her voice didn't sound too broken.

Helen turned on the coffee maker and waited for the beverage to brew as she leaned against the counter.

"So, next Friday you, your dad, and I are going to have one of our dinners at Little Miss Steaks. Do you want to ask Eli if he wants to join us?"

Clare bit her lips before she turned away from the sink, walked over to the table, and kept her eyes on the floor.

"I don't think so."

"Why not?" her mother asked.

"I just think it will be a bit weird for us to have dinner with my ex-boyfriend."

"What?" Helen said in disbelief.

"Yeah, we broke-up."

She felt her tears return, but she blinked them away before she looked back up at her mother.

"Honey, I'm so sorry," Helen replied sympathetically. "Is that why you were so upset yesterday?"

Clare nodded and tried not to cry when Mrs. Edwards walked towards her before pulling her into a comforting hug.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I'm fine. Well, I _will_ be fine. I just have to go on and face the day."

She was able to comprehend that these words were going to be easier said than done, but what other choice did she have?

She pulled herself out of the embrace, but her mother fiddled with the ends of her daughter's hair.

"Clare, you don't have to be a trooper all the time. I know you loved him, so have the right to feel sad. You may want this all to go away and I wish I could tell you that this was going to blow over soon, but the fact of the matter is that you _did_ care about him and therefore you're going to hurt a bit, if not tons. And I'll tell you this: telling yourself that there's nothing to be upset about and that everything's going to be fine is just going to make it worse. If you just feel the way you're truly feeling, trust me, the pain will go away with time."

At those words, Clare returned her gaze to the ground and felt her tears sting her eyes again. Her mom was correct; she was devastated and she knew it was close to impossible to believe that this day was going to be relatively normal. She also saw the point Helen made; it would be better for her to hurt now and get it over with as opposed to lying to herself just so she could break later.

"Alright, thanks Mom," Clare whimpered.

()()

Clare rode her bike straight to school and parked it on one of the racks. Her stomach experienced a sinking feeling when she saw that Eli's hearse was already in the parking lot; she fought the temptation to flatten the tires as she passed it. She walked into Degrassi and towards her locker before thanking God that Eli wasn't waiting for her. She opened it and tried to create ways to avoid Eli and Kate today. To her dismay, that meant she would have to avoid Adam too; he would be with Eli all day and she knew he'd tell Clare to listen to Eli's side of the story. She honestly didn't want to hear anything else about the kiss until she was prepared to hear it, but that could be a while for all she knew.

"Any luck with her yet?" Adam's voice entered her ears.

She turned her head and saw him and Eli venturing down the hall towards the lockers. As she looked at them, Eli looked right back at her. She glared at him with the angriest eyes he'd ever seen before she snapped her locker closed and went down the hall in the opposite direction.

Although she left them in the dust, Eli's eyes never left her back until she was out of sight.

"Should I take that as a no?"

Eli shook his head.

"She hasn't returned my calls or anything."

"Just give her more time and you two will be fine again in no time."

"_If _ever talks to me again."

"You can't think that way, Eli."

"How else can I think?" he demanded heatedly. "This is the worst thing that's ever happened to us!"

"That's not true," Adam protested. "You've been through tougher things than this."

"Oh yeah?" he said scornfully. "Can you name one?"

Adam stood there in deep thought. He tried to think of a circumstance that was more traumatizing than this one before them. No alternatives entered his mind.

"I didn't think so," Eli said bitterly before setting off down the hall.

()()

Clare needed something to do to get her mind off Eli today, so she went straight to the auditorium to locate Hannigan and talk to her before the next class began. She stepped into the spacious room and saw Hannigan at the front writing on the blackboard. She walked down the steps until she was a few feet behind the teacher.

"Miss Hannigan?" Clare said to get her attention.

"Clare," she replied as she looked over her shoulder. "What can I do for you?"

"I know we're not meeting again until next week, but I was wondering if I could talk to you about the next play we're going to do," she explained hopefully.

"What do you mean?"

"Is there anything I can get started on for it?"

Hannigan put down the chalk and dusted off her hands while she turned all the way around to face the pupil.

"I admire your enthusiasm to get started ASAP, but there's nothing you can do. Since we did a classic last semester, I was thinking the group could create something original."

"Okay, but what if I . . . I . . . ?" Clare mused as she attempted to ask what she could do; it was becoming apparent to the teacher that she was just looking for something to occupy her time.

"Why all the sudden need to do work on a Friday? I thought you would rather be hanging-out with your friends than doing things for Drama," Hannigan inferred.

Clare wanted her issues with Eli to be known by as few people as possible, thus she thought of the most convincing lie she could.

"I just want to get into a really good university and I'm looking for additional things to add to my application. I'm hoping that they'll see I'm eager and dedicated if I mention I'm willing to do work whenever I can."

Hannigan stood there for a second and considered Clare's proposal.

"I'll tell you what," she began. "Mr. Simpson wants the play to premiere before prom this year, so that means we need to get the play started as soon as possible. Why don't you think of a few ideas and you can suggest them to the whole group when we meet Tuesday?"

"Really?" she asked, feeling a small grin on her face for the first time in what felt like years.

"Then everyone can vote on what idea they like best, chip in one or two ideas to add to yours, and then we're in business. Is that alright with you?"

"Are you kidding? Absolutely, I'll get started right away."

"That's the spirit," Hannigan congratulated. "And make them good."

"I'll make them great."

Hannigan grinned at Clare.

"Let me know if you ever need a letter of recommendation."

"Thank you, Miss Hannigan," she said before she began to exit the room.

()()

Kate stepped into the English room and saw Clare sitting in the front row, away from Eli and Adam, and she kept her eyes focused on her desk. Kate tried not to smile, but she failed and let it stand on her face. The person she liked was finally single and, despite the words Eli told her yesterday, she still kept the hope in her alive. She never anticipated Clare to walk in on her and Eli, but she would be lying if she said she wasn't glad it happened.

"I didn't mean to bite your head of this morning," she heard Eli tell Adam when they didn't notice her standing a few desks away from them. "I'm just –."

"I get it," he reassured. "I know this is getting to you."

"I just really want to tell her how I really feel about her," Eli said. "But yesterday changed a lot of stuff, so I don't think she feels the same way about me anymore."

"I'm sure she still does," Adam assured him.

Kate's smile returned to her face. Eli wanted to tell her how he felt about her and he was worried that what he told her yesterday about him not liking her on a deeper level other than friendship? That idea made her feel on top of the world. Then she started thinking of a few questions . . .

How long did he feel this way? Did it happen after Clare and him broke-up? Or did he have these emotions inside him longer than that? He must have; he flirted with her constantly whether he denied it or not. And then she wondered something else. If he felt so much for her, why did he keep it secret? Well, that was a no-brainer. Clare kept him with her at all cost; she kept him from being with anyone unless she was by his side. It was oh-so clear to see that Clare couldn't have anything go wrong in her perfect little world even it meant keeping someone trapped in it with her.

Kate wasn't having that. For her and Eli's sake and future, Clare had to let things go. She hoped that once Eli realized he was free and he could be with anyone he wished that he would turn to her and they could finally be together like they promised long ago.

What didn't come to her mind, however, is that he wasn't talking to Adam about her right now and that he meant it when he said the flirting was unintentional. He was talking about Clare's feelings for him and he thought he was being friendly, not flirtatious.

()()

Lunch came a few hours later, but Eli wasn't hungry at all; his stomach was too full of guilt, regret, and pain. He didn't want to sit in the cafeteria, in the library, or anywhere else inside Degrassi. Instead, he exited the school and sat inside Morty. He turned on the radio and listened to whatever song was on the station. He stared at the steering wheel for ten minutes before deciding to look outside the window.

His broken heart sped up when he saw Clare sitting at one of the picnic tables with some food and a notebook sitting in front of her. She was writing on the paper as fast as she could. She was jotting down ideas that came to her for the play the second they came into her head and she didn't filter any of them.

Thus far she had six ideas to give to the club and each of them was more interesting than the next. She had no clue that Eli was gazing at her from the hearse. She tried to block him out of her mind, but it was difficult. She sat there with her eyes transfixed on her work until . . .

"Clare."

She recognized his voice, but she didn't look up at him. She predicted that if she met his eyes, she'd remember the painstaking memory from the day before; it was bad enough she had to see the pictures every time she blinked and she didn't want to risk intensifying her afflictions.

When Eli came to the conclusion she wasn't going to speak, he decided to continue.

"What you saw yesterday wasn't what it looked like."

"Using clichéd lines like that isn't going to make me less upset."

"Can I please talk to you?"

"I don't want to talk," she retorted.

"Did you get my message?" he asked.

"What did I _just_ say?" she snapped.

"Please answer that one question," he said pleadingly.

Clare then looked over the table to see him standing there. She quickly put up her walls to block out the horrid memories of yesterday.

"I did, but I'm still trying to get rid of the vivid image of you and Kate kissing; the last thing I want to do right now is talk to you about it."

"So you're just going to continue to avoid me and never speak to me again? I know that isn't what you want."

"You're right. What I want is for everything to be the way it was before Kate got here, but that's not going happen."

"If you would let me explain, things could return to normal."

"I have stuff to do, okay?" Clare almost shouted as she began to get annoyed with Eli trying to tell her what to do. "Just leave me alone."

Seeing that he was unsuccessful and that he should just go with original plan and wait for her come talk to him when she was ready, he began to walk towards the school. Before he began to go up the concrete stairs, he turned around on the spot so he was staring at her back.

"One thing," he began. Clare didn't meet his eye, but she turned her head to hear him better. "If I listened to you sooner about Kate, this wouldn't have happened. I regret not believing you now and I'm sorry I didn't."

He then ascended the steps and became lost in the halls of Degrassi.

()()

Kate didn't just like Eli . . . she was in love with him.

Kate was tired of being nice; it was time for her to reveal her version of the truth to the person who was holding back someone she loved. Her chance came the second the last bell of the day rang.

She was planning on exiting the building to begin her weekend, but she passed the locker of Clare Edwards as she went down the hall. If there was any time to talk to her about everything, it was now. She stood by Clare's locker and waited for her to close it. When she did, the two of them were face-to-face.

"I need to have a word with you," Kate said.

Clare shook her head and began to turn around when Kate spoke again.

"As your friend –," she started.

"We are _not_ friends anymore, Kate!" Clare said sharply as turned on her heel to see Kate again. "And you have a lot of nerve to even think that after what you and Eli did."

"Just listen for a second," Kate exhorted. "I want you to know the truth."

"Why did you kiss him?" Clare demanded. "What gave you the right kiss him when you knew he was seeing someone? Were you trying to break us up? Was that your plan since you got here?"

"Clare, I'm not a monster," she replied. "When I saw Eli for the first time in years at that party a few months ago, I knew he was probably going to have a girlfriend and I didn't feel anything besides friendship for him. I was fine with that. But then you guys started being secretive with each other and I tried to help.

"You guys were okay for a while, then Eli started flirting with me then I got true feelings for him!"

Clare hoped that Kate didn't just say that Eli flirted with her, but Kate continued before she had the chance to erase the words.

"And I think it's pretty obvious he has those feelings for me; I know he's had them for a while."

"You're wrong!" Clare snapped.

"The only reason he didn't tell you or break-up with you by now is because he didn't want history to repeat for you because he did care about you!"

"Did he tell you this?"

"He didn't need to," Kate shook her head. "Actions speak louder than words."

"What do you mean?" Clare asked, now worried about what she was going to hear next.

"Yesterday wasn't the first time we kissed!"

"The kiss from when you were kids doesn't mean anything to him! Neither does your promise you guys made to get married!"

"I know, but that's not what I'm talking about. On Wednesday we kissed and he did _nothing_ to resist it!"

Ice filled Clare's veins for the umpteenth time in twenty-four hours. Everything now seemed to have gone bad to worse.

"And remember when he felt terrible a few months ago about not going on a date with you because he said he'd help me rehearse for my audition? Well, he wasn't really upset about that. He felt guilty because he almost kissed me. What does _that_ tell you?"

Clare was angrier and more hurt than ever and she knew she was going to crack at any second.

"Kate, one more word and I swear I'll –," she growled.

"And I think I know why he decided to do this?"

"Shut up," she snarled.

"Because he might actually want a relationship with someone who was willing to sleep with him!" Kate nearly shouted.

"What?" Clare screeched.

"He told me about you two and how you guys aren't doing it! It's been a year and not much has changed with you two physically! Maybe he was getting tired of waiting for you to make up your mind!"

Clare's body shook with pure animosity. Eli swore to her that he didn't need sex in a relationship; was this just another lie or was Kate just saying this? And why did he have to reveal something so personal that was supposed to remain between them? She placed her backpack and binder on the ground before sneering at Kate again.

"You know what, Clare?" she growled. "If you really cared about him, you should've seen that he liked someone else and let him go if that was what he wanted. And if my kissing him right in front of you was the only way for you to realize that, then I'm glad I did it."

Clare took a step towards Kate while she continued to speak.

"Now that you know the truth, accept the fact that you trapped Eli from showing his true feelings for me, he lied to you about loving you just so he could ease his pain about not being to be with me, and move on with your life."

Clare broke at these words. How could Kate tell her to simply move on with her life when the person she loved shattered her into a million pieces? What happened next was a long time coming . . .

Furious and hurt, Clare punched Kate squarely in the face. She grasped her nose and took deep, shocked breaths as Clare shook the pain away from her hand. Kate withdrew her hands and Clare saw the blood coming out of her fractured nose. She then pushed Clare, who pushed her back.

Before long, Kate tackled Clare to the ground and the two of them started going at it as nearly four months of hatred emerged. They slapped, scratched, and pulled hair for half a minute when a crowd of students gathered around them. Some students were pulling out their phones to take pictures and video.

"Is that Clare?" Wesley asked.

"Yeah," Connor answered. "I thought I'd never live to see the day when she would get into a fight."

While the two teenage girls were brawling, Adam and Eli were just now coming down the hall. They continued to descend it when they saw the group by the lockers.

"What the heck?" Adam commented as he tried to see what was going on over the many people's heads. Eli tried to see as well, but no luck. Thankfully, a fairly tall friend was right by them.

"Sadie?" he asked. "What's going on?"

"Clare and Kate are fighting," she explained. "And I mean actual fist fighting."

Adam and Eli looked at each other before they pushed through the assembly of teenagers. They got through sea of people and they were able to get to the center of the commotion. They saw Clare and Kate flopping around on the floor as they yelled at each other.

"Jealous!" Kate shouted at Clare.

"Why would I be jealous of a bitch like you?" Clare demanded angrily as she felt Kate scrap her arm with her fingernails; neither of the girls noticed Adam and Eli trying to break them apart.

"Because you know I'm better for him!"

Before anything else was said, the two boys tried to pull the girls apart. Adam grabbed Kate's upper arms while Eli grabbed Clare's. After a bit of a struggle, they were successful and the two soon unable to physically harm each other anymore.

"Let go of me!" Clare ordered Eli, who refused.

"Get out of here! There's nothing more to see!" Adam yelled at the crowd. It slowly broke-up until it was just the four of them in the hall again.

Kate and Clare were panting from the fight. Clare had scratches on her arms and right cheek, her hair was astray, and her lip was bleeding. Kate's nose continued to leak blood and her neck, arms, and jaw had scratch marks on them.

"Eli!" Kate nearly yelled. "This has gone on for far too long! Tell Clare the truth! Tell her how you feel about me!"

"There's nothing to tell, Kate!" he said bluntly.

"It's over! You can admit it now! Tell her!"

"Fine," Eli said. He looked down at Clare, who was trying to get away from him so she didn't have to be near him and so she could hit Kate some more. She avoided his eyes, but that wasn't going to stop him from telling her. "Clare, I love you. I never wanted to kiss Kate and I didn't cheat on you. I only have feelings for you and I'm sorry about everything."

"NO!" Kate shrilled. "Eli, I know you like me! You don't have to lie to protect her anymore! You said in English that you were worried that someone wouldn't feel the same way about you anymore because yesterday changed everything!"

"I wasn't talking about you!" Eli retorted. "I was talking about Clare!"

"What about the rehearsing incident and the kiss on Wednesday?" she demanded. "Don't tell me those didn't mean anything!"  
"They didn't! Everything I told you yesterday about me not wanting to be with you was nothing less than the truth. I tried to be nice about it, but saying things that you don't know is crossing the line! I can't be with you in anyway and after all the crap that's happened because of you, I don't want us to be friends!"

Eli didn't care if he sounded cruel; Kate deserved to hear it.

"But the rehearsal –," she tried to protest.

"Shouldn't have happened and I regret that it did!"

"Wait, I'm lost," Adam chipped in. "What rehearsal incident?"

"The two of them nearly kissed one time when they rehearsed _Romeo and Juliet_," Clare explained to Adam as she continuously attempted to escape Eli's hold on her.

Eli couldn't believe that Kate told Clare about that after she begged him not to say anything months before. He began to feel the same guilt he always felt when he recalled that day almost four months ago. But now he felt worse than ever; Clare would probably never forgive him now.

"_Goldsworthy_!" Adam shouted with a mix of anger and disappointment.

"I know I was an idiot! I don't deny it!" Eli responded. He felt Clare stop struggling against him, but he could've sworn he heard her sniffle. Adam glared at Eli before shaking his head with disgust.

"Come on, Kate," he said to her before he led her down the hall.

Eli then released Clare's arms and was slightly relieved when she didn't hurry to get away from him or go after Kate again. She kept her back turned to him as she rubbed her eyes.

"What did she tell you?" he asked gently.

"You had feelings for her, you nearly kissed her, you guys kissed on Wednesday as well, and you flirted with her."

"I never meant to flirt with her. If I did, I regret it and please believe me when I said I never wanted that to happen. And I don't have any feelings for her. She was wrong about both of those things."

"But she wasn't wrong about the fact that you kissed her on Wednesday and you two almost kissed that one time, was she?"

Eli took a breath before answering her.

"I wish she was," he said regrettably. "I can explain everything. Wednesday, yesterday, what happened at rehearsal months ago, all of it . . . but there's no excuse for letting it all happen in the first place."

Clare picked her books up off the ground before turning him and actually meeting his eyes for the first time in twenty-four hours.

"You're right, there isn't. And I know you can explain what happened, but I don't want to hear your side."

"Please."

"Not now anyway," she clarified. "I have a few things to get my head wrapped around until I hear what you have to say. Do you get that?"

Eli nodded in acceptance, but that didn't mean he was any less heartbroken. Without another word, Clare walked passed him and existed Degrassi without looking back, but Eli watched her leave the whole time.

* * *

"_All the same in love and war"_

_~"God Bless You" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

I'm sorry this chapter was insanely long and I thank those of you who've read all 36 chapters thus far! You're all AMAZING!

I like to mention that I'm not intentionally basing Kate on Imogen; this was how I pictured Kate's character from the beginning and everything I'm having her think and do was all part of the story since it started. However, I had this in my head since before we knew Imogen would exist, so does that make me psychic? Totally kidding guys . . . kinda. Do you guys remember the "good stuff" I keep mentioning? Well . . . this isn't it! But we're getting pretty dang close! I'll see you guys tomorrow! Remember, reviews = desire to write more!


	37. This Picture

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

I love all of your reviews (as usual) and I'm glad you guys liked the Kate and Clare fight scene. Since the last chapter was so freaking long, I decided to keep this chapter as short as possible . . . but it still came out lengthy! I guess this is what I get for not having much of a social life lol. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . these are not the droids you are looking for.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Seven

This Picture

After a long night of thinking and hardly any sleep, Clare decided to take a leap of faith and get to the bottom of everything. At this point, all she wanted was to know why this happened instead of torturing herself by contemplating all possible theories. She decided to walk, therefore allowing her more time to think of what she could say, all the way to the Goldsworthy home. Morty was in the driveway and that was a surefire sign that Eli was there.

Clare knocked on the front door that Saturday afternoon and waited patiently with her arms crossed. She didn't know if she was crazy or not for coming to see him, but there had to be some solution to this ache and she really didn't want to live in confusion anymore. She wanted to understand why this happened.

Eli answered seconds later, obviously shocked to see her. He noticed the cut on her lip that she got yesterday along with a few healing scratches on her face. He stepped outside and closed the door behind him. Before he could say anything, Clare spoke.

"I'm sorry I fought her, but she deserved it. She said a lot of stuff and I couldn't take it for another second. It was nothing when you guys were kids and you said you'd get married, it was one thing when she flirted with you, and it might not have been the end of the world when you guys nearly kissed while rehearsing for her audition, but actually _kissing_ you was crossing the line. And you guys kissed twice in one week, so I'm not upset that I hit her. I beat her up yesterday and, if I could, I'd do it again."

Eli, who was surprised that Clare was here, let alone speaking to him, stood there and listened.

"Can we talk?" he asked of her.

"That's why I'm here," she nodded. "I am still incredibly mad at you and even if you tell me your side of the story, I probably won't forgive you completely for a while."

"I don't blame you if you don't. You and Adam warned me over and over that Kate was going to do something and I didn't listen. I got myself into this mess because I still thought Kate was the same friendly girl from years ago. I was stupid for not listening to you guys."

"You're right! You were stupid!"

"I deserve that."

"No, what you deserve is a good punch in the gut!"

"I agree completely. Hell, I deserve to have an anvil to be dropped on my head."

"I'm being serious," Clare glared.

"So am I," he said. "Do you want to sit?"

The two of them then sat on the concrete step. Clare didn't look at Eli for the longest time, but he kept his eyes glued to her.

"How mad are you?" he asked.

"On a scale of one to ten with ten being the angriest, I'd say a million," she answered. "But I'm not just mad. I'm hurt, disappointed, heartbroken, and confused. Why did this happen? I finally believed that I would be fine with you and Kate being friends even though she flirted with you, but I was obviously an idiot for thinking nothing would happen. So what happened between you and her, or the two of us, for you guys to kiss?"

Eli sighed and looked at the skull ring on his thumb.

"It's a long story."

"I'm ready to listen; what happened on Thursday?"

Eli tried to remember all the details and figure out the facts before began.

"The first things you have to know are that I don't want anything to do with Kate anymore, I didn't want to kiss her the two times that it happened, and I still love you very, very much."

Clare took in a shaky breath and forced all tears to retreat away from her eyes. She wasn't here to cry, to yell at Eli, to hear that she was loved, or to move on with her life; she was sitting on his front step to hear the truth and nothing more.

"Just tell me the story," she stipulated while she continued to avoid his gaze.

Eli began to tell her the whole story. He started from Monday, when they got back from winter break. He told her that Kate said she liked a certain someone, the advice he gave her, how stupid he felt when he realized Clare and Adam were right all along, how much guilt he felt when he didn't do anything but stand there, how he wanted to tell her, what he told Kate on Thursday afternoon, and how terrible he felt ever since.

"I didn't want any of this to happen," he began to conclude. "And I wish I told you before you saw what you saw. Please believe me when I tell you that I didn't feel anything when Kate kissed me. I also promised you that if you saw her do anything remotely flirtatious with me again I would sever all ties, and now I'm going to. She's less than nothing to me now and she's going to remain that way after what she's done."

Clare let his words enter her brain and she analyzed everyone. She felt awful for not letting him speak earlier. She sat there for a moment just thinking and looking at the pavement in front of her. Eli sat there and kept his eyes on her at all times. After a bit of time passed, she turned to look at him.

"I guess I just didn't expect this to happen after not seeing you for two weeks," she said quietly. She then cleared her throat and continued. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I was just extremely hurt, confused, and angry."

"I get that."

Clare believed that Eli had told her the truth and she felt a bit of assurance knowing that he never meant for anything to happen between him and Kate. However, she felt something else crawling deep inside her . . .

"But it's not just that you guys kissed," she started. "We promised to honest with each other every time something happened that could affect our relationship or if something was hurting us. I've kept that promise; I've told you when something is wrong and I admitted my fears about Kate plus more. But you've hidden these very important things from me; you didn't tell me about the kiss you two nearly had while you guys rehearsed and you didn't tell me about the first kiss after it happened. That makes me feel like I can't trust you."

"Clare, you _can_ trust me."

"I want to trust you, but I don't. And, on top of it all, you didn't believe me when I first came to you about her. Think of all that could've been avoided if you believed me and Adam."

"And I feel like a moron for not listening to you guys."

"If the kiss was all it was I'd probably be a bit shocked for a while but I would've gotten over it faster and everything would be fine. But all of this tagged along with it and now it's just too much for me to handle. I care about you and I love you, but if you can't confide in me, then there's no way this could work."

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you."

"I'm hurting now! If you told me from the start, I would've given you some credit because you were being open with me. But now you left me in the dark about it for a while and I didn't even hear some of the truth from you."

"I was going to tell you about the kiss, but I never got the chance," he justified.

"You should've come to me after the first kiss happened and I probably would've said something to Kate if she did it the second time instead of storming out of Degrassi and neither of us would have been so upset the last few days. And you never told me about the rehearsal incident. That is what's killing me here.

"For months you could've told me about it and you said all this stuff about being honest from that point forward, but you kept your mouth shut! I've told you everything, but you kept _that_ from me! And since Kate told me, I've been thinking of why you two would almost kiss! Was it because you two like each other, did you decide to re-explore that spark you had as kids, was it because she was just a better match for you? How am I supposed to handle all of this, Eli?"

He was silent; he knew Clare was right, but the damage had already been done. He saw the hurt in her eyes and all he wanted was to put his arms around her and let her cry into his shoulder. However, if he did that he knew she would just reject the comfort he would attempt to give her.

"Why did guys almost kiss a few months ago?" she asked after she calmed down from her rant; Eli heard the fear in her voice. "And tell me the truth, because whatever you say, good or bad, won't change anything. I just want to know the real reason."

She was looking at him with pained and worried eyes and he felt terrible that he and Kate caused her to feel this way. She didn't deserve it especially after the fears she had the last few months.

"We were rehearsing and I just blacked out," he began to reveal another memory he wished to erase. "I was feeling bad about not being able to hang-out with you. I just wasn't thinking. It wasn't because I wanted to or anything; I was simply blindsided by guilt. I know this is one of the most clichéd lines in the book, but I would do anything to take that back."

Clare took in a breath of relief, but she still had some unfinished business she needed to get to the bottom of.

"Eli, tell me the truth. Are you attracted to Kate in anyway?"

"No."

"Were you?"

"No."

"Have you ever wanted to sleep with her?"

"What?" he asked with an appalled tone.

"Answer the question! Are you so tired of waiting for me to make up my mind about us having sex that you have thought about going to Kate?"

"Never . . . is that what she told you?"

"She said it was a reason you would rather be with her than me."

Eli didn't think he could be anymore furious with Kate, but this was a new low. He meant it when he said he didn't need to be physically passionate with Clare to be with her; he loved her no matter what, sex or no sex.

"Not only is that untrue, but it is ridiculous. I told you that kind of stuff didn't matter to me and it still doesn't. I would never leave you to have sex, you know that."

Now that she had all of her questions answered, she felt a bit calmer. She was also reassured that Eli never felt anything for Kate and she felt terrible for thinking he would cheat on her. However, the things he hid from her didn't settle well with her.

"I'm sorry for going all hostile with the questions," she said. "I just wanted to get everything out in the open so we could get all of it over with. Is there anything else you haven't told me?"

"No. But I'm really, sincerely sorry," he said. "I should've told you everything and I promise that I'll come to you from now on about anything."

"And I _really_ want to believe that Eli, but I don't know how I can right now. You've betrayed my trust and that's not easy to win back."

"I'll try though. I'll try really, really hard. This won't happen again, Clare. I promise."

"This shouldn't have happened the first time!" she nearly shouted. "And for all we know this might happen again!"

"It won't! I'm kicking Kate out of my life for good. She isn't important to me in any way."

"I just don't mean Kate. What if someone else comes along and she's attracted to you?"

"I'll stay away from them. I'll believe you next time you tell me someone likes me in that way."

Feeling horrible for being so cold, Clare refrained away from Eli again. She had to get out what she'd been thinking and she had to do something that would be for the best of them.

"I've been doing some thinking since I saw you and Kate . . . and now I'm hearing what you've told me and I'm glad I know now, but I still don't feel really forgiving and I'm still a bit shaken about this whole thing."

She looked back up and Eli, who could've sworn he saw a bit of regret in her eyes. His heart began to pound uncomfortably against his ribcage.

"I've given this a lot of thought," Clare proceeded. "You broke my heart repeatedly since Kate got here. You lied, you've left me in the dark, you've stood me up, and you made me lose my trust in you. I can't do this anymore. Unless I'm sure that this won't happen again, I don't know how I can be with you. Believe me, I want us to stay together, but I can't take this. This isn't you, Eli. The Eli I fell in love with wouldn't do any of this."

"I haven't changed," he defended himself. "I just made some mistakes."

"But I'm not sure if I can move on from this easily. I can't be in a relationship with someone I can't trust."

Eli looked at the ground and hoped that he wasn't hearing what he thought she was implying.

"What are you saying here?"

Clare looked directly at him.

"I don't completely forgive you for what happened with Kate yet and it will take me a while for me to trust you again, but I don't want us to fall apart because of these mistakes; plus, if we do separate, that means Kate wins. I think we should try and build ourselves back up from this instead of making it worse."

"Wait . . . so we're not breaking-up?" Eli asked since he wasn't sure if his ears were playing sneaky tricks on him.

"No, but we're not exactly together either. We're taking a break . . . and, hopefully, one day we could get back to where we were before Kate screwed up everything."

Eli felt blessed; not only was she going to forgive him one day, she was giving him another chance. He felt like he didn't deserve it, but she was handing it to him without a second thought. This girl was truly incredible.

"You're too good to me sometimes."

"Hey, you're not off the hook completely."

"It's better than nothing," he accepted as he leaned in to kiss her. She turned away before his lips touched hers. "Too soon?" he guessed.

"A little," Clare nodded. "Next time my lips touch yours is when you're forgiven and when I trust you again."

"I'll wait."

"It'll probably be a while," she warned.

"I'll still wait," he promised. "And if there's anything I can do to start making this up to you, I'll do it."

"Can you give me a bit more time to get over this?" she asked a second longer than immediately.

"Of course," he promised.

"It shouldn't take too long, but I can't say how long."

"Take all the time you need."

"And I need time on my own a bit so I can think about what I should do about some stuff."

"Fair enough," he agreed.

"But that doesn't mean you don't have to be around. Just expect me to act more like a friend instead of a girlfriend."

"After all I've put you through these past few months, I'm lucky to just be your friend."

Clare felt an appreciative grin come on her face for a second or so as she looked at Eli.

"Thanks for understanding."

"No problem. I love you Clare," the words slipped out of his mouth.

Clare regrettably looked back down at her hands.

"Damn . . . that was too soon as well," Eli quickly said. "Sorry, habit."

"Don't get mad at me about this," she began. "You know I love you, but I can't bring myself to say it yet."

"I get it."

"Remember, this is a break."

"Got it," he nodded. "I promise I'll try not to act like a boyfriend so much. It'll be kind of hard though since that's the only way I've acted for the last year."

Even though Clare was a bit glad this was happening and she was relieved that Eli understood why they had to do this, she felt rotten for doing this to him. Apparently every order she told herself the day before about not caring about Eli anymore was abandoned.

"Look, I'm sorry if I'm being bit outrageous about this whole thing. I know it was a misunderstanding, I know you are a truthful person, but –."

"You've been through this kind of stuff with people you care about, but it sucks a lot now because it all happened at once and it was because of someone you're in love with," he guessed.

"Yeah, exactly," she nodded slowly. "It sometimes scares me how well you know me," she chuckled.

"I know it does Piglet," he smirked.

"Shut up Fluffy," she chortled.

The atmosphere around them was now lighter and it wasn't as tense. In all honesty, both of them felt fine about this compromise. Eli knew Clare needed time and, as long as they potentially going to get back together, he was more than willing to give it to her.

"So . . . that's that," he declared.

"I guess so."

Sure, they were both in agreement and they were both glad that everything was out in the open, but soon the awkward feelings started settling in. For the first time in a year, they were "just friends".

"I should be getting home," she said as they both stood up on their feet; she needed to escape the now awkward uncomfortable situation.

"Do you want a ride?" Eli offered.

"No, I'm just gonna walk. You know enjoy the day, take in some fresh air."

"You do that."

She then gave him a final small grin before walking down the path, Eli watching her as she did so.

"I'll see you Monday?" she said as she looked over her shoulder.

"You bet," Eli grinned before she stepped onto the sidewalk and started venturing down the street.

* * *

"_I won't forget how it fell apart_

_Little did I know it was a new start"_

_~"This Picture" by Shine Bright Baby_

* * *

I can't begin to tell you how much I had to edit in the last chapter and this one! And I couldn't resist putting in those nicknames again (I'm sorry, I think their flipping adorable!)! Reviews aren't just appreciated, but also recommended for submission!


	38. Tourniquet

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

I love all of you and your reviews! Thank you for them! And, for all those who need to rant about Degrassi, feel free to rant to me! We all have our opinions and I'll be more than enthused to hear them! And to all you EClare fans out there, let's remember to never lose hope. Think of it this way, since we probably won't see Eli and Clare in the future after they graduate Degrassi, we can always imagine that they'll get married ten years from now. Happy thoughts my friends! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi? What was your first clue?

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Tourniquet

Eli spent the rest of his weekend reflecting on the past four months since Kate came to Degrassi. The more he thought about it, he saw more and more of what Adam and Clare had been talking about. He felt rotten for allowing everything to happen right under his nose. He considered calling Clare countless times to apologize once again for everything that occurred with Kate, but he always decided against it. He realized that he had to give her some breathing room so she could get over all that's happened and so she could learn to trust him again, therefore he never picked-up his phone.

He eventually told CeCe and Bullfrog what happened, and they decided to cut all ties with the Parkers just like their son. They mentioned before that they weren't the same people they used to be from years ago and that they weren't going to be particularly close to them anymore, so they couldn't blame Eli for terminating his friendship with Kate.

They believed he was being a bit hard on himself, but Eli thought otherwise and was going to remain that way until he and Clare reconciled . . . which he hoped wouldn't be too long from now.

Monday came around soon enough and Eli didn't send Clare his usual text to offer a ride to school. Instead, he went straight out to Morty and drove alone. He was hoping for everything to go smoothly between him and Clare today, but after all the kind remarks they said to each other (especially over the last five months or so) and being together for a year, how could anyone expect them to be only friends?

He chose to block all possibilities of discomfort and potential awkwardness from his head and to just be the guy he was before the two of them started dating . . . but that Eli was just a distant memory to him now.

He entered Degrassi and made way to his locker without skimming the halls for anyone. He slowed his pace when he saw Clare at her own locker a few down from his. She didn't notice him as he walked to his locker and opened it. He couldn't be certain if she was intentionally avoiding him or if her mind was somewhere else.

Eli tried to find his voice to say "hi" to her, but nothing came out except a dry breath. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"Hi," he said a little forcefully.

She then turned her head to him.

"Hi," she replied as she tried to put on a grin.

"So . . ." he began to say, but he was drawing a blank so he just spat out something random yet appropriate. "How was your weekend?"

"Alright," she shrugged as she closed her locker. "Yours?"

"Not too bad," he replied. "Did either of your parents freak out when they saw the scratches and cut on the lip?"

"Well, they don't know I got into a fight if that's what you mean," she answered. "I just told them I got slapped in the face by a tree branch and I fell and bit my lip."

"And they bought that?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll tell them one day when we can all look back and laugh about it."

"So you're never telling them," he concluded with an attempt to smirk.

"Basically," she agreed.

"Well, they don't seem as bad as they did Saturday," he mentioned as he closed his locker while referring to the wounds.

Clare nodded in appreciation. The atmosphere around them soon started to feel weird. Clare looked at the ground and Eli simply gazed at the outdoor area in the center of the school. They each wanted to say something to break the silence, but they had no idea what to say. They didn't fully understand why it was so hard to talk; they were friends before they dated so why couldn't they just act like friends now?

"Um . . . I'm going to get going to class," Eli said as he turned back to Clare.

"Okay," she accepted as she looked up at him.

"Alright . . . I'll see you around . . . pal," he added before stepping down around her.

"See you buddy," she responded as he walked away.

Clare let out an exasperated breath and put her head against her locker. She only saw him for a total of two minutes and she was already wishing everything could be forgiven and forgotten, but it wasn't that easy. Sure he apologized for everything, but that didn't mean that she was going to forget this anytime soon, that the ache was going to fade easily, that she could accept the fact that he didn't believe her, or that he would never lie to her again.

Once she was certain that things could be back to normal between them again, Clare would gladly take him back with an open heart . . . she just hoped that a day will come when those hopes would come true, but she had to admit that she had her doubts.

()()

Adam and Eli were already sitting at their lunch table when the period came. They were seated across from each other and there were two vacant seats by each of them. The one next to Eli was usually occupied by Clare and Kate would've sat in the one by Adam.

"Do you think Clare will eat with us today?" he asked.

"I don't know," Eli shrugged with complete honesty. "She didn't hang-out with us during study period, but she was cool with us in English."

"And thankfully, in both cases, Kate didn't come anywhere near us."

"Yeah," he nodded in relief.

Adam approached his next level of interest carefully, not wanting to cross any lines or push any buttons.

"What's going on with you two?"

"Nothing," Eli said. "I kicked her out of my life and that's how it's staying. I think she got the message when I intentionally didn't speak to her or make eye-contact with her at all today."

"I was talking about Clare," Adam delineated.

"Oh," Eli said, wishing that she didn't have to be brought up. "Well, we're friends again, so I'm hoping that's a good sign."

"But?" he asked. "I know there's a 'but' here somewhere."

"But . . . what if I can't get her to trust me again and we are nothing more than friends for the rest of our lives?"

"You've met Clare, right?" Adam said. "Before long, she'll be missing you so much that she'll want nothing more than for you to hold her in your arms and all that other couple stuff I complain about."

"What if she decides that I'm not honest enough to be with her and she decides that we can never get back together?"

At these words, Adam was silent and looked down at his food, an answer never coming to his head.

"Hey amigos," Clare's voice greeted them a few minutes later.

"Hi," Eli replied as she took a seat next to Adam. The thoughts of them never getting back together were continuing to plague his head.

The remainder of lunch was a bit weird for Clare and Eli if they had to be completely honest. Each of them attempted to start conversations, but none of them got too far before the resonating silence returned. Adam felt the tension between his two best friends; evidently the idea of them just remaining friends wasn't as easy as they thought it'd be.

They were intentionally avoiding each other's eyes as they ate their lunch. They only looked at each other once or twice, but they turned away from each as other as quick as they could. Eli was glad that Clare was being civil and friendly to him and that she was spending some time with him and Adam, but he could tell she still had some unresolved feelings in her. Was she sad, upset, hurt, content, or something else entirely? He wished she would give him some kind of sign in regards to how she was feeling since he was so unsure.

()()

Clare loved being friends with Eli, but it was torturing her that she couldn't just get over this so they could move on with their lives as a couple. She wanted everything to be normal again, but that didn't seem to be the case right now. She honestly had no idea how to feel about this or what to do. But she did know that she was starting to miss his smile, the glow in his eyes whenever he said "I love you", all his romantic gestures, and just his company in general. If she had to be honest with herself, being anything less than his girlfriend was slowly killing her.

"Are you still mad at Eli?" Adam asked the next day as he and Clare stepped into the auditorium for a Drama meeting.

"I'm not mad; I'm confused on how I should be feeling," she confided. "But nothing's going to change if I ignore him. If we make an effort to rebuild a basic friendship, hopefully we'll be back to normal one day."

"How long do you think that'll be?"

"I can't really say. Maybe a few days, a few weeks, it just depends."

"On what?" he asked curiously as they took their seats.

Clare shrugged.

"If I think the time is right for us to get back together, I'll tell him. Until then, we're just going to remain friends."

"I bet that's difficult," he said.

"Adam, you have _no_ idea."

"What's difficult?" a new voice asked.

Adam and Clare turned around and saw Eli stepping towards them.

"Where did you come from?" Clare asked, hoping he didn't hear any more of her and Adam's conversation.

"Well Clare," he began while he took a seat in the row behind her and Adam. "Around eighteen years ago, my parents wished to express their love in a physical way, and –."

"Ew!" Adam interrupted. "I don't want any images in my head, thank you very much."

"Hey, Clare asked the question; I'm just answering it."

"I meant where you came from two minutes ago," she clarified with a small snigger.

"Oh, well that changes my answer completely. See, it helps to be specific."

Clare rolled her eyes at this humorous moment.

"I was right behind you guys when we left English, but I had to have a quick chat with someone," he finally answered.

"Who?" she asked.

"No one important," he said simply. "Now if one of you would be oh-so kind as to answer my original question. What's difficult?"

"Chemistry homework she has," Adam lied; he didn't think it would be a wise idea for Eli to hear Clare's confession about how hard it was to be his friend.

"Yeah, it really sucks," Clare played along.

"Ouch," Eli sympathized.

"Alright everyone, settle down," Hannigan called to everyone; all the students obeyed and began to listen to their teacher's instructions. "Before we get started, I have an announcement. I'm sorry to say that Kate has decided to quit the Drama Club."

"What?" Adam said loudly while trying to hide his sudden enthusiasm.

"Yes, she just told me that she couldn't do it anymore."

"Why?" Sadie asked.

"Apparently she has certain things she can't deal with on top of her academics."

"Huh, that's weird," Eli commented quietly to Adam and Clare. "Oh well, as least we won't have to worry about her here anymore."

Clare, suddenly curious as to why Kate suddenly wasn't here anymore, turned to Eli. She noticed a bit of a triumphant glint in his eye.

"Although it is sad to see her go, let's remember that it was her decision and as long as she's happy, that's what matters," Hannigan continued. "I'd like to welcome you all back to school and that I'm really looking forward to doing the play this year. I decided that since last semester we took control of a play, I think that this semester we should do an original play. And Clare has been kind enough to suggest a few ideas we could do our play about. So, Miss Edwards, the floor is yours," she offered before she sat in a chair with the rest of the students.

Clare walked to where Hannigan stood a few minutes ago and faced the group. She began reading off a few of her plans and everyone was interested to say the least. She mentioned an idea about people from the Elizabethan age, another about vampires (_typical Clare_, Eli thought in his head with a smirk as she suggested it), a story about World War II, and one about the struggles a young woman goes through once her parents perish in a train wreck.

Although everyone was remotely intrigued by most of her plans, their favorite was definitely the tragic romance story.

"What's that one about?" Hannigan asked.

"W-Well," Clare began. She tried to look everywhere except at Eli as she explained this one since she thought of this idea a few days ago when he attempted to talk to her but she rejected him. "I'm thinking it can take place in the medieval times, but that's just a suggestion. I was thinking it could be about these two people from two different levels of society, but they fall in love. Then they encounter all these obstacles such as arranged marriages, imprisonment, betrayal, etc. and then their fates are revealed at the end."

"And how does it end?" a grade ten asked in the crowd.

"I don't know," Clare shrugged. "I was just thinking of what could happen, not the results."

"Interesting," Hannigan complimented. "Is that all?"

"Yes ma'am," Clare nodded.

"Well," the teacher said before standing next to Clare. "Let's vote on what we should do."

The first four ideas received a few votes, but the decision was unanimous when it came to the love story. Over ninety-five percent of the group was in support of it. Clare couldn't help but grin at the response; she was also glad to that Eli and Adam were in support of this play (then again they voted for each idea, but she appreciated the support nonetheless).

"Majority rules," Hannigan concluded. "We'll be doing this love story. Will anyone be interested in being the director?"

At first, everyone remained silent and it seemed that no one wanted to do it.

"What that the heck?" Adam said before raising his hand. "I'll do it."

"Very well then," Hannigan said before the bell rang. "We'll go over details and other materials after school today. Mr. Director, may I speak with you for a minute?"

Adam abandoned his seat and went towards the teacher. Clare grinned at him in congratulations as she passed him. Adam looked over his shoulder and was pleased to see that Eli and Clare were leaving the room together. He turned back to Hannigan as he prepared to hear his first duties as director.

"Yes ma'am," he said.

"I need your opinion about possible playwrights."

"Alright," he nodded. "What do you want to know?"

"I heard from Miss Dawes that Eli and Clare are very good writers. What do you think about them in that profession?"

"They're definitely two of the best writers I've ever seen and I'm not just saying that." "Great, so what about we let them work together on the script?" Hannigan suggested.

"Um . . . usually I would be all for that, but that's probably not the best idea right now."

"Why not? From what I've seen they get along fine together; they seem the dream team in the world of literature."

"They are but . . . they're kind of taking a break," he explained, knowing that almost everyone in the school knew of Eli and Clare's relationship.

"Oh no, what happened?" Hannigan asked.

"It's a long, ugly story, but they're trying to remain friends, but I don't think keeping them together writing about a potential love story gone tragic is the best idea for their relationship at this point."

"I see. Then why don't you decide which one of them should write it? I know I'm asking a lot since you are friends with both of them and you don't want to hurt their feelings or start anything, but this is really important. Since I got here, all I've heard are what amazing writers Eli and Clare are and I need the first original play I supervise to be astonishing unless I want to get fired. I need the best of the best here."

_Guilt trip_, Adam realized in his head. _She's good._

"Um . . . okay, I'll try to decide between them."

"Thank you," she said with relief as the warning bell rang overhead. "I expect an answer by this afternoon's meeting."  
Hannigan stepped around him and exited the room as Adam stood there, bemused at what he was told to do. He hoped to have more time to make a decision, but that wasn't going to happen.

"Why me?" Adam groaned as he looked at the ceiling.

()()

_Meanwhile . . ._

"Those ideas were extraordinary!" Eli exclaimed as he and Clare stepped out of the auditorium and walked down the hall. "They were remarkable! I loved all of them!"

"Thanks," Clare said, trying not to blush.

"And Adam is directing it, so he'll be sure to stay true it. I can't wait to see be brought to life. And, since Kate is now out of the club, we can enjoy the process of bringing it to the stage."

"Speaking of Kate, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Like what?" he questioned.

"What did you do?" Clare asked.

"What are talking about?"

"What did you say to Kate?" she asked, being more specific.

"Nothing," Eli shrugged.

"I know you, Eli," she said. "I know you said or did something to make Kate quit."

"I did no such thing," he defended himself.

Clare rolled her eyes at how he was trying to avoid the subject and deny what he did.

"Do you really expect me to believe that she simply decided to quit? Especially after she practically begged for you to be with her a few days ago?"

"Well . . ." Eli began, seeing that she had him cornered in the conversation. "It's possible that I suggested for her to leave you, me, and Adam alone after English."

"Now when you say 'suggested', what exactly do you mean?" she wondered aloud as she tried not to smile.

"I mean I told her to leave all of us alone because we're done with her crap and we don't want her causing any more damage."

Pleased that Eli actually said this to Kate, Clare turned up the corners of her mouth in gratitude and relief.

"So she won't be Drama anymore, she's sitting somewhere else in all the classes she has with me, and she's sitting somewhere else at lunch."

"You really told her to do all that?"

"I told her to back-off and leave us alone; she figured out what she should do to make sure that happens."

"I bet she wasn't thrilled about that," Clare commented.

"She'll get over it. And, since we're trying to be honest with each other, I'm going to tell you what she said before she left."

Clare became slightly worried and the possible words Kate could've said reeled through her head. She tried to remember that she shouldn't be upset about anything Kate said since Eli mentioned millions of times that he didn't like her that way, he and Clare were on a break she had reason no logical reason to feel threatened or upset, and she was a bit glad that Eli was being truthful with her now.

"What did she say?" Clare asked cautiously.

"She said, and I quote, 'have it your way for now, but one of these days, Eli, one of these days,' unquote, and then she left the classroom. It was kind of creepy to say the least."

"What do you think she meant?"

"No idea," Eli said. "But, no use dwelling on it; let's just celebrate the fact that she's out of our lives."

"That is something to be happy about," Clare admitted.

()()

Adam had no idea what to do or who to choose. He was pacing in front of Miss Dawes's desk during afternoon study period and he had to tell Hannigan his choice for the playwright by the end of the day at the next meeting, but he couldn't pick. He didn't tell Eli or Clare that he had to choose one or the other, because he knew they would each offer it to the other person. Adam was under a ton of pressure and it was crushing him. He went to Miss Dawes to vent and for advice.

"How am I possibly supposed to decide?" Adam demanded of the teacher once he finished telling the story. "They're my best friends and they both really want this."

"Why don't you just talk to them about working together? I'm sure they'll put their problems aside for it."

"They couldn't even focus in here today; how can they take on the responsibility of doing a play together?"

Adam was right. That day in English, they had to work in groups to analyze a section of _The Crucible_, but Eli and Clare barely spoke or looked at each other. Although they had a civil conversation after the morning's Drama meeting and it seemed like they were making progress, they soon toppled back down to the level they were at yesterday because the few good moments they had reminded them too much of what they had in a relationship.

"I see your point," Dawes empathized. "Can't you suggest a different writer?"

"Miss Hannigan wants Eli and/or Clare. And it's just my luck that I'm the one who has to choose."

He stopped pacing and faced his teacher.

"This always happens! I always try and be nice, step up when no else will, and blah, blah, blah and it comes back around and bites me in the –."

He stopped himself when Dawes shot him a look that cautioned him to choose his next word wisely.

"Butt," he said before he spat out a derogatory term. "Who do you think I should pick?"

"If it was up to me, I'd be feeling the same way you do. Clare is creative and concocts amazing characters and Eli brings the story to life, but they are much better when they work together. I don't know who should be chosen because they both would be able to do it so well. I'm sorry, I can't help you."

"Well, thanks anyway," Adam said before picking-up his bag and walking towards the door. "See you tomorrow."

"Good luck, Adam," bade the English teacher as he stepped out the room. He began walking down the hall towards his locker and tried to sort out the mess in her head.

"Let Eli write it," a voice said from behind him. He turned around and saw Clare walking his way.

"How did you –?"

"I was standing outside the door when you told her about it," she explained as they walked down the hall together.

"You were eavesdropping?" Adam accused.

"I was going to talk to her about something, but I heard you say my name, so I stuck around."

"Well, I can't just give it to him because you said so. I need actual reasons."

"Have you read his stories? They're amazing. If anyone in the school can write a play it's him. Look, I thought of the idea, but that's all it is. I don't really know where it can go from there and I know Eli can bring it to life and make it one-hundred percent better. Plus this is he's last chance to write a play for the school like he wanted; he deserves to do it."

He took all her points into consideration and she was correct on all accounts. His mind was now made up for the person he was going to choose as playwright and he was relieved that he finally reached a decision.

"Admit it Adam, I just gave a good argument."

"You did," he agreed. "Alright, I'll tell Eli the job is his."

"Good. I'm sure he'll be really enthused to write it."

Or would he?

* * *

"_Return to me salvation"_

_~"Tourniquet" by Evanescence_

* * *

Due to a lot of studying and other school stuff, I probably won't update tomorrow and I'm sorry about that :(. I'll try and update this weekend, but odds are I'll just update Chapter 39 on Monday, Chapter 40 on Tuesday, etc. until the 7 week summer event is over. Okay, there is something that I've been thinking about lately and I would like your views on it: am I writing the characters (Eli and Clare especially) OOC? I've just been rereading my stuff and then seeing how they acted on the show and I think I'm going a bit off on them. I would really appreciate your opinions so I can see if there's anything I need to adjust in the chapters to come. Review and tell me what you think please!


	39. Going Under

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Over 300 reviews! You are officially the best readers a girl can have! You are all awesome and I love you guys for reading, reviewing, everything! And thank you for letting me know about the characters being OOC. I was worried that I was going WAY off on them, but now I can relax. But I guess as long as you guys like reading the characters the way they are and as long as I enjoy writing it, I guess I shouldn't worry about them being a wee bit OOC (and like the lovely Moonlight Gypsy says: this is fanfiction). Zipping my mouth closed now; here's the next chapter and I hope you guys like it. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . but if I did, it would be stupid to tell you guys that I did, because then you would blame me for everything going on with Eli and Clare right now.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Going Under

Eli walked up the hall as fast as his legs could carry him without running on Thursday morning. He was slightly confused as to why Clare would do this to him after all the obstacles he put her through lately. Maybe he was overreacting but that didn't really matter to him right now. He was trying so hard to not snap because he couldn't stand being just friends with Clare, but this was pushing him over the edge.

As Eli went looking for Clare, he recalled what happened the day before that caused him to feel this way now . . .

_"Why did you pick me? You could've picked Clare?" he asked Adam yesterday after the Drama meeting as they hung-out at the Torres home. "It was her idea, therefore she should write it."_

_"Well Hannigan said she wanted the writers to be you and Clare, but I told her that probably wasn't a good idea since you two are unsteady right now."_

_"Good call," Eli approved. "So did you flip a coin or something to choose between us?"_

_"Not exactly," Adam replied. "Clare heard me say something to Dawes about it and she said to let you have it."_

_Eli, who then had a mixture of enthusiasm and surprise, looked at Adam questionably._

_"What do you mean she'll let me have it?"_

_"She said that you were better for the job. I guess that means you're on her good side again; she wouldn't have put her idea in the hands of someone she's angry with."_

Then Eli started to think about what had been happening between him and Clare the last week. He was glad that the two of them were being kind to each other despite the small rift between them, but what if there was more to it? Why would she let him, the guy who broke her heart whether it was an accident or not, write a play she created when she also wanted to write it? It didn't make sense to him and he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

He was passing the computer lab when he saw Clare sitting there checking her email. Deciding just to get this confrontation over with, he stepped into the room and walked towards her.

"Can I talk to you about something?" he said to her point blank.

"Yeah," Clare replied after glancing at him for a second.

"It's about the play."

"Which reminds me, I never got to tell you congrats on becoming the writer for it," Clare said to him. "Are you excited?"

"I would be if I earned it."

"What do you mean?"

He put his bag on the ground and began to state his point.

"Adam told me that you told him to let me be the playwright."

"That's what he said to you?"

"He mentioned something like it."

"It's not like I begged him to give it to you. He had to choose between the two of us and I just gave him valid reasons on why he should pick you to make it easier on him."

"So you basically built me up on a pedestal?"

"Not intentionally," she told him; she thought he would be happy about being able to write the production, therefore she didn't understand why he was snapping like he was. "I just said that you should do it since this is your last chance and I thought you would be able to bring it to life."

"But it was _your_ idea," he reminded her.

"And an idea is all it is in my head."

"Come on, I know that you don't just stop at ideas; you plan out things all the way out and I doubt this is any different. And I remember you saying things about wanting to write the play this year, so why did you let me have it?"

"It's no big deal, Eli. I'll do it next year."

"By then someone else might want to write it," he informed her. "Do it now when you know you have the chance to."

"It's fine," she assured him. "Writing a play isn't on my list of priorities right now, so don't worry about it. Just go with Adam's decision and enjoy doing it."

"It wasn't Adam's decision; it was yours."

"No, he could've ignored my points and picked me, but he didn't. Do you not want to do it?"

"Usually I'd be happy to, but I'm not particularly fond of the idea of my ex giving it to me on a silver platter," he spat out without thinking.

At the word "ex", Clare felt like she'd been run over by a speeding train. They never established themselves as ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend; they gave themselves the title "just friends", but it became apparent to her that Eli didn't consider them to be only that way.

"I thought we were trying to rebuild here," she argued to make her points and concerns known. "Don't accuse me of doing something I didn't do when I'm trying to be friends with you."

"Alright, so I act like a total idiot by basically allowing someone to kiss me, make you cry, and –."

"Don't bring up what happened last week, alright?" she snapped. "I'm trying to forget about it so we don't have to remain this way forever."

"My point is that I shouldn't be writing this play that you thought of after everything I did. You shouldn't have brought up all these points to Adam on how I'm the right choice to be the writer when I don't deserve it!"

"It's not a matter of what happened in a relationship; it's about hard work, dedication, and good writing in general. You are a hard worker, you never give up on a project, and you write really well."

"Those are all qualities you possess as well."

She was getting frustrated with all his arguments and getting upset about the fact that he wouldn't let things be. Clare turned to face him after logging off her account and taking a few breaths to calm down.

"The final decision has been made by Adam and approved by Hannigan, so that's the way it's going to be. Don't worry about me not writing it."

"Clare, it was your idea and I know there're tons more just dying to come out of your head, so just write the damn thing!" he nearly shouted; this was becoming too much for him to handle.

"Eli, you're a magnificent writer and this your last chance to show that while you're still in high school," Clare pressed on. "You should share that talent with the Degrassi student body, so take this opportunity and –."

"Will you please stop this?" he suddenly screeched.

"Stop what?" she asked, shocked he was yelling.

"Stop being so nice to me!" he clarified, the volume of his voice remaining consistent.

Dumbfounded, Clare just sat there.

"I get that you want to get over what's happened and move on with our lives and let us rebuild, but I don't deserve to be spoken to like a patron saint!"

"You're upset because I'm trying to be your friend?" she summarized.

"I'm upset because I made you feel like crap last week and you basically told Adam to let me write a play that _you_ thought of."

"It's called moving on with life. Last week is done, we're friends, and I just think you should write it, okay?"

"You shouldn't be treating me like a friend after what I did! You should be kicking me in the balls, hitting me in the face, beating me with a baseball bat, something like that!"

Clare shook her head.

"I don't talk to you, you get upset. I talk to you, you still get upset. Make up your mind! What do you want me to do? Do you want me to be your friend that wants to at least try to make things go back to the way they were or just your ex who'll never talk to you?"

"I want us to be friends, but don't give me something I don't deserve, such as writing this play."

"Stop saying that! You deserve to write it! And I didn't give you the job! Adam did, so jump down his throat about it instead of mine if you're that annoyed about it!" she shouted.

"So you're letting me off scot-free?"

"No. If I did, we would still be official. If you want me to be a jerk to you, I'm letting you know right now that that's not going to happen. Being harsh and cold towards you isn't going to solve anything; that's just going to make things worse."

"But you hardly yelled at me for what I did!"

"That's not true. I yelled at you a few times," Clare protested.

"Not for very long," he said. "I broke your heart and I made you lose trust in me and you're telling me that you're going to move on from this by being civil with me? I know you're still upset about this and keeping it bottled inside you isn't going to do any good."

"What do you want me to do?" she demanded.

"Shout at me! Tell me I suck! Say that I'm a complete ass! Anything! Anything that will make you less upset at me! Tell me how you're really feeling! You don't have to act like an ex, or a friend, or anything for that matter. Just tell me the truth!"

Clare let out an angry sigh, stood up from her computer, and faced him.

"Fine!" she said, taking a breath before releasing her voice. "I want to tell you that we're okay, being friends is great, that I love you, and that everything is going to smooth over! I don't want to feel empty, hurt, or anything since everything was just a big misunderstanding, but I feel like crap! I don't want to, but I do. There is no logical reason for me to be mad at you anymore, but I'm still in shock about everything! I never imagined in a million years that you would be kissed by some other girl while we were together, but you were! There's nothing you can do other than let me get over this at my own pace!

"But I said some cold stuff to you a few days ago and you shouldn't have to be just my friend because I know that's not what either of us wants. I want us to be more than friends, but I'm not ready for that yet. Okay? Letting you write the play is my way of making up for everything that's happening right now! I thought you would be happy about it, but I guess I was wrong! I'm sorry if you don't want to do it, but you already have the job. And by the way, if I have to be nice to you to get over all of this, then let me do it! Got it?"

She then grabbed her bag and left the room. Eli stayed rooted on the spot, feeling like a pile of metabolic waste.

()()

Clare avoided Eli for the rest of the day. Adam noticed that something was wrong when she sat somewhere else in English and at lunch. He asked Eli what happened and Eli simply told him, "I was a jerk to Clare this morning. I don't want to talk about it; I feel crappy enough as it is."

He realized that Clare meant well and she was being unselfish by stepping to the side and letting him do something he'd been wanting to do for a while. If he had to be honest, he appreciated Clare doing that for him even though she spent some time figuring out what this play could be about. As the day went by, he began to feel worse about shouting at her and bringing up everything that happened last week; she was trying to do something considerate for him and he repaid her by putting words in her mouth and making her relive what occurred between them recently.

Eli wanted to make this right with her somehow and he eventually thought of a way. He wanted to put his plan into action as quick as possible, but she always seemed to escape him while they were at school. Once the day was over, he was going to catch her at her locker, but by the time he got there, she was already gone. Not wanting to do this over the phone or anything that wasn't face-to-face, he began thinking of all the places she could've gone. The Dot was the first location that popped into his head.

He drove to the coffee shop, stepped inside, and immediately saw Clare sitting alone at one of the small tables. She was writing on some kind of application with a French vanilla coffee sitting next to her hand. He ventured over to her and stood next to her table.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hi," she replied; her voice was devoid of anger, offense, or any emotion at all as she focused on the paper in front of her.

"What you up to?"

"Applying for a job here; I need to start saving up for a car, college, etc."

"Awesome," he congratulated. "So are you going to be a waitress or something?"

"Yep," she responded as she wrote down all her contact information. "Are you still looking for a job? I think there's a few other slots open if you want to apply for one."

"Will you be okay with that? I don't want things to be weird or anything."

"It's work and there's no law that I'm aware of that states that friends can't be coworkers."

"Alright, I might just do that," he accepted. He was relieved when she referred to him as her friend despite their less than pleasant encounter from that morning. "So what are your hours here gonna be?"

"I'll be working Mondays through Thursdays from five-thirty till closing."

She then stood up and walked up to the counter. Peter Stone still worked there part-time while studying at Toronto University and that was the same person Clare handed her application to.

"Thank you very much," he said before taking the paper.

Clare went back to the table and Eli followed a minute or so later.

"Well, he just told me no more jobs were free just yet but he'll give me a call if any positions empty," he informed her as he stood next to her.

"How come I have a feeling you didn't just come here to talk about jobs?" she asked while she turned to look at him.

"Because I'm also here to tell something," he explained before taking the seat across from her. "I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have yelled at you like I did. And I'm also sorry for bringing up everything from last week and stuff. I know you were just trying to be kind and there was no reason to for me to explode like that."

"Thanks," she said to him.

He grinned at her in a way of telling her that he appreciated her accepting his apology.

"So . . . are we still friends?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes," she said with a nod.

"Good," he said in relief. "But there's one more thing I still want to talk to you about something for the play."

"You're writing it, Eli. Let it go."

"I wanted to thank you. I do want to write it and it was great of you to give Adam the reasons as to why you thought I should. So . . . thanks."

"You're welcome."

"But, I still I don't think it's fair that I'm writing a play that was your idea. So I was wondering if you would be interested in writing it with me."

"Um . . ."

"As friends," he added quickly.

"But don't you think it'll be a bit awkward writing a play about romance since we're kind of . . . untogether?"

"That's why I think we should put all our feelings to the side and be friends about this whole thing. If one of us feels weird, we'll just stop for the day and come back to it."

"Why don't you want to write it on your own?"

"Because I don't want to tarnish your idea in any way. It's brilliant and you should at least supervise the person writing it so they don't kill what's in your head. Plus, like I said before, I'm sure you have a few more plans that could be added into the storyline. I think you deserve to write it, but Hannigan and Adam have already dubbed me the playwright, so I can either resign or you can help me. Either way I want what you created to be good and that's not gonna happen unless you write it in one way or another. What do you say?"

Clare twisted her purity ring on her finger in thought before turning to Eli.

"If you really want my help, I'm in."

"Great," he said in a joyous relief. "So when do you want to start working on it."

"Well, I'm free tomorrow. Do you want come here after school?"

"Sure," he agreed.

()()

"She's really going to help you?" Adam repeated cheerfully over the phone with Eli that evening.

"Yeah," Eli replied. "And she didn't even protest to it that much."

"Eli, do you know what that means? She wants to spend time with you alone outside of school, which means that she wants to get closer to you again, which means she means she wants to get back together with you soon!"

Eli grinned and hoped it was just a matter of time until he and Clare would be one again.

* * *

"_So go on and scream, scream at me_

_I'm so far away_

_I won't be broken again_

_I've got to breathe_

_I can't keep going under"_

_~"Going Under" by Evanescence_

* * *

A reviewer asked me if we'll see any more Kate; yes and no. She'll be there at Degrassi, but she probably won't stir the pot as much until . . . well, I won't give that away (let's just say it's something epic that won't happen for a while). We're almost done with the Degrassi summer event, so I'll be done updating every other day. Hopefully I'll be able to update once a week, but that depends on school and my brainwaves. I'll update tomorrow, but review please!


	40. Tied Together With a Smile

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

HOLY CRAP! CHAPTER FORTY! This either means I have no social life or creativity flows through my veins instead of blood . . . you guys decide; either way I'm happy. Thanks for the reviews again! Short chapter today and tomorrow, but Thursday's will be decent sized in celebration of the season finale! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. If I did, Zane and Riley would still be together, Eli and Clare would still be together (of course), Imogen and Jake would turn into snails for stepping onto the EClare turf, and Adam would actually have a girlfriend for a while (the guy deserves it)!

* * *

Chapter Forty

Tied Together With a Smile

Clare was waiting for Eli outside the Dot at one of the umbrella covered tables. He ran in to get some coffee for each of them before they got started on writing the play. She had to admit that she was a bit apprehensive about coming here with him; this was the first time they were going to spend some actual time together since they started their break and she was a bit nervous to see what would come of it. She wanted to believe that this meeting was going to remain professional and that they wouldn't have any weird feelings between them, but she knew it probably wouldn't be that simple.

She tried to remember that this was for Degrassi Drama and not for the two of them to mend their relationship, so she shook all thoughts of being more colleagues out of her head when Eli walked towards her to join her at the table. He held two cups filled with coffee in each of his hands.

"One French vanilla," he said to her as he handed her one of the beverages.

"Thank you," she said as he sat across from her. "So, should we get started?"

"Alright," he said. "I was thinking that today we could set the scene, figure out the plot, create some characters, and think of some of the conflicts before we actually get some actual writing done."

"Sounds like a game plan," Clare nodded in approval. "Have you thought of any ideas for it so far?"

"A couple," he answered. "What about you?"

"Not many, but I think if we combine what we have, we should be able to get this off the ground."

"Well, we better get to it; Hannigan wants the final draft by Friday."

"That gives us a week."

"Then we better cut to the chase."

And cut to the chase they did. Clare pulled out a notebook and wrote _Play Plans_ across the top of a page and got her pen at the ready so she could immediately scribble down any ideas they conjured up.

"Do you want to keep it in the medieval times like I originally planned or do you want to move it to a different era?"

"Medieval works," he agreed. "It gives us the opportunity to do something unique."

"True. All we have right now is that it's going to be about two people in different levels of society from the medieval times who fall in love . . . what can we do with that?"

()()

Working together wasn't only professional yet fun, but it was also surprisingly comfortable for the two of them. After a couple of hours of discussing and spit-balling ideas, they were able to plan out the entire play and create numbers of characters. They even shared a few laughs when they suggested random names for characters; Eli kiddingly mentioned that they could name someone Sir William Buttersworth and Clare responded by playing along.

"And he could have a really ridiculous top hat or something," she said with a smile.

"And an absolutely awful British accent," he recommended as he spoke with such a dialect.

"And a goofy handlebar mustache," Clare added.

"Splendid idea," he commented with an accent.

They were really enjoying their time together. The best part was that they didn't have to force it; being friends came naturally to them and, since they were put their recent issues to the side, they didn't feel weird being with each other or anything.

By the time six o'clock rolled around, they created the basic plot for the story.

"Okay, let's backtrack here for a second," Clare said as she began to read her notes. "The two main characters are Jonathan, the son of a noble, and a peasant named Mary and they live in different parts from the country. He is exiled from his family and goes to the other side of the land and starts life over as a peasant. He meets Mary and he falls in love with her, but she's in love with a man who left to fight in battle."

"And then he writes her one day and she finds out that he had met someone else and breaks her heart," Eli added.

"Then Jonathan is there to comfort her and she soon falls in love with him," Clare continued. "Then their romance begins."

"But not long after that he gets word from his family saying how he needs to return home because he is engaged to be married to a girl named Abigail," he recalled. "He returns home and Mary follows him and begs for him to run away with her, but he declines because he didn't want to be shunned by his family again."

"This isn't bad at all," Clare declared.

"We're a good team," Eli noted. "Do you know what I think should happen next?"

"What?" she asked, enthused to learn what was forming inside his skull.

"I think Jonathan and Abigail should be prepared to wed, but Jonathan realizes that Mary is more important to him than the respect of his family and leaves."

"Okay, so Jonathan leaves Abigail at the altar and runs after Mary," Clare wrote down on the paper where they kept their ideas. "Then what should happen after that?"

"I'm thinking he tells her that he loves her and then asks her to marry him," Eli suggested.

"That sounds good," Clare approved as she jotted down the plan. "What should she say?"

"I'm not exactly sure. What do you think?"

"I, personally, think she should say yes, then they kiss, and then the curtain closes."

"That's perfect!" Eli exclaimed.

"I'm glad you approve," she grinned as she wrote down the ending. "Alright, everything is planned."

"And now we just have to write it, which will be a piece of cake since the brainstorming is done."

"Precisely, and if we work like we did today, this will be done in no time."

"So what shall we call this masterpiece of ours?"

"Hmm . . . well, it's a play about medieval lovers, so how about we call it . . . _Feudal Romance_?"

"It definitely has a ring to it. Let's use that one," Eli commended.

"Alright," she grinned as she put down that name. "We are officially in business."

()()

"You know, us working together was actually a good idea," Clare admitted as they took the route to her house a few minutes later.

"You sound so surprised," he pointed out with a smirk.

"I mean I'm glad that we were able to get stuff done without letting things distract us. It was also really fun."

"I suppose that's what happens when you really buckle down and work on something."

"Yeah," she agreed.

She turned to look at him in the driver's seat. She saw him concentrating on the road, his eyes focused. She grinned for no reason as she watched him drive them. She gazed at him; and she couldn't tell if he was ignoring it or simply didn't notice since he never looked her way or said anything about it. As they turned down her street, Clare suddenly felt the urge to kiss him. She wanted his lips gently holding hers and become oblivious to anything in the world but him. She yearned for that . . . but she knew this wasn't the time . . . not while they were finally reconnecting as friends.

Eli parked Morty outside her house but he spoke before Clare left the car.

"Is it alright with you if I get started on the first act tonight?"

"Of course," she replied with a nod. "Do you want to meet again tomorrow so we can work on it some more?"

"I'm helping the 'rents clean out the garage. Sunday?"

"Church fundraiser," she said.

"Okay, so we'll just talk at school?" he assumed.

"I guess," she shrugged. "I'll see you Monday."

"Bye," he said.

The desire to kiss him returned, but she had no choice but to fight it. She bit her lip as she climbed out with her backpack in hand.

She walked to her door as Eli drove down the street. All of the sudden, every positive feeling she had from that day had vanished. She now felt cold, hollow, and lonely. It came at her so unexpectedly and all she wanted now was to cry.

Clare took in a deep breath, opened the front door, and prepared to make a beeline for her room so she could lie down and tried to figure out why she was feeling so low and shed some of these tears. She wasn't even a few steps in, however, when her father started coming down the stairs.

"Hi sweetheart," he greeted her.

"Hi Dad," she replied.

"How did the play planning go?" he asked her.

"Fine," she answered. "Eli and I got a lot done with it and we should get it done in time."

"That's great. Speaking of Eli, since you and he are both writing this production, does this mean you two are back together?" Mr. Edwards asked.

"No," she answered. "We're just friends working on a play together."

Even she heard the disappointment in her voice.

"Shame," he replied. "I was hoping to get to know him better."

The more he mentioned Eli, the more suffocated Clare began to feel. She needed to escape and let her brain release the tension it was being put under.

"Well, I have to get some homework done, so I'm just going to be in my room for a bit."

"Alright," Randall allowed as he moved himself out of the way so she could make her way to her room.

Clare was soon secluded from the world in the privacy of her room. She threw her bag down and collapsed onto her bed. Her mind, heart, soul, and body were then consumed by thoughts of her and Eli and what was going on with them.

They were only friends . . . and that was the agony. Numerous times that day, Clare wanted to kiss him, hold his hand, compare the love of the two leading characters to theirs, and tell him that she was in love him.

But she knew she couldn't. She wasn't ready for things to be the way they were again. She was too afraid that he would lie, keep certain things hidden from her, or worse. She couldn't carry on in a relationship when she had all these fears inside her . . . she wouldn't. Plus all the images she saw in her head of Eli and Kate kissing were still popping-up at least once an hour. Even though it had been over a week, she still remembered seeing it as though it was yesterday.

Clare lied on her bed and listened to these thoughts as they took over her. She had no idea that Eli was also longing for them to be together again and that he felt lonely when she wasn't with him. But he also understood that Clare wasn't interested in being committed right now; he was always thinking that it was a matter of time until they were a couple again, but it had been a week and he was now starting to get anxious that they'll never be more than friends. At this point in time, he was spilling his guts over the phone to Adam and he was listening very carefully.

* * *

"_And you're tied together with a smile_

_But you're coming undone"_

_~"Tied Together With a Smile" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

See you guys tomorrow! Please send in reviews to make me smile (today really sucked and I need a dos of happiness that only you guys can give me)!


	41. How Far

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the reviews guys! Only one episode of the season after tonight . . . waiting on pins and needles to see what happens! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: OMG! You don't own Degrassi either? I guess that means we have something in common!

* * *

Chapter Forty-One

How Far

Adam drove to Clare's house in Han Solo on Saturday afternoon and knocked on her door. He knew Eli didn't want to complicate things with her ergo he wasn't going to say anything. Adam, on the other hand, didn't want any more problems than necessary to arise between his two best friends so he took it upon himself to attempt to repair things.

"Hi," Clare said when she eventually opened the door. "Come in."

Adam did and they walked into the living room.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as they sat down.

"I have to talk to you about Eli," he said bluntly. "And I just want to say he didn't send me over here asking you for information or anything like that. I swear to God that I'm here by my own will."

"Okay," Clare said. It was still weird for her to think about Eli since they were taking a break in some sense and the memories from yesterday had yet to fade, but she was ready to hear anything Adam had to say. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I talked to him last night and he sounded a bit depressed."

"Did he say anything?" she asked, suddenly worried.

"No," Adam answered. "But it's a bit weird. He was fine yesterday at school and he has been more cheerful then than he was the whole week because you agreed to help him with the play. But I called him last night and he said everything went fine, but he sounded down in the dumps. Did something happen between you two?"

Clare looked at her hands and didn't speak. Adam took the silence as a yes.

"What happened?"

"Nothing! And that's the point!" Clare said. "We were professional, civil, and we didn't cross any boundaries!"

"And that's . . . bad?" Adam guessed, absolutely confused as to why she was upset about them getting along.

"It was horrible!"

"You guys don't like working on the play together?"

"No, we love working together, but . . . it's confusing," Clare said, not really wanting to drag Adam into anymore of the drama that was stirring between her and Eli.

"I'm best friends with you and Eli, I've been at Degrassi for a year and a half, and I don't exactly come from a stable family. If anyone can understand confusing, it's me."

Under normal circumstances, Clare would've cracked a smile. Not today.

"What happened?" he asked again.

"We were friends and it was great when we were together. We planned, we talked about the play, we shared a few laughs, and I loved it. But . . . when I got home, I realized that I felt empty. All the happy feelings I had while I was with him just minutes before were gone. Usually I would come home and stay positive because we were together. Now that we're broken-up, I can't think about him without wanting to be more than friends, but I know we can't right now and I start feeling low."

Clare took a breath and tried to keep her emotions under control.

"I miss him, Adam. I'm tired of us being just friends."

"Then forgive him and take him back," Adam said as though it was obvious.

"I can't!"

Adam racked his brains and tried to think of what he could say right now. Obviously he didn't want to force Clare into getting back together with Eli, but she knew that if they kept this break going any longer, they may start thinking that they shouldn't be together and he didn't want that to happen.

"Clare, don't get me wrong, I think what you're doing here is good. Taking a break is a good idea; even Eli thinks so. He told me that this was probably the best thing for you guys, but I can tell he wants you back and he wants to prove to you that he will not mess anything up if you give him a second chance, but this has gone on long enough. Sure you guys had one hiccup this past week, but that's done and over with. Kissing Kate was out of his control and you need to accept that and let it go. He's going to be honest with you from now on as well, so just let him be with you. And if you're missing him as much as he's missing you maybe that shows that it is time to mend things."

Clare sat there momentarily in the silence. She knew Adam was right, but because her past experience with K.C, slight dishonesty and feeling a bit betrayed wasn't something she couldn't easily release and forget about.

"Maybe I am overthinking things, but I can't help it," she told him. "I want to forget what happened, but this Kate stuff has been going on for too long and I want to be sure she doesn't find her way into our lives again so she won't find another way to break us up."

"So you're not mad at him about what happened?"

"It wasn't his fault that he and Kate kissed, but I want those memories out of my head. It's like every time we hang-out as friends, the pictures of _them_ enter my mind and I can't stand being around him. I don't want our relationship to be one step forward then one step back."

"Did that happen while you guys worked on the play?"

"No, but that was only because I had to put all emotions to the back of my head so I could focus on the task at hand. Other times, however, I try to block it out but it just continues to haunt me. If I could let that go, everything would be easier and I could forgive him sooner, but the memory is still too fresh."

"Okay, that make sense," Adam accepted. "But . . . you are planning on giving him another shot, right?"

"I want to get over this whole Kate thing first and earn his trust back before I decide anything; I just don't know how long that's going to take."

"Wait, decide anything?" Adam repeated. "What does that mean? Have you thought about ending it with him for good?"

Clare didn't answer at first. Instead she gazed at her hands and avoided Adam's eye, but he wasn't going to speak again until he got his answer and she knew that. As he waited, he felt his insides turn to ice with worry.

"I've been thinking about it," she finally confessed. "I don't want to but like I said, I don't want our relationship to be a rollercoaster. And I want to be able to know for a fact that this won't happen again and that he can be honest with me."

"He can. Just give him time to prove that to you."

Adam was now worried that he had less time than he anticipated; if Clare was already thinking about ending what she and Eli had for good, he knew that if they didn't reconnect soon they would surely fall apart and probably lose their friendship.

"Has he ever flirted with her?" Clare suddenly asked.

"What does that have to do with –?"

"Please just tell me, Adam," she said. "Did he flirt with her at all since she came to Degrassi?"

He was fully aware that telling the truth was probably not going to be in Eli's favor of being with Clare again, but he had to be honest.

"Once."

"Great," she snapped bitterly.

"But I'm sure he didn't realize what he was doing."

"No wonder Kate thought he liked her."

"Listen, when I saw it happen that one time I was terrified that he would start feeling something for her and that you two would fall apart. I went straight to Eli about it and he said that I was insane for thinking that because he loved you. And every time I confronted him about Kate flirting with him, he always had the same argument," Adam stated. "'I love Clare', 'Kate knows I'm in love with Clare', 'I'm with Clare and nothing's going to change that'. He meant it every time he said 'I love you' and I know that he never wanted to hurt you. He said he refused to hurt you in any way and that's why he didn't come to you immediately when Kate first kissed him and I'm positive that's why he didn't tell you about their almost rehearsal kiss."

"I know that he loves me and that he was protecting me, but I can't just forget this. How can I?"

"Remember the Eli you fell in love with. The one who ran over your glasses, the one who was with you while you were trying to cope with the divorce, the one who called you every day over Christmas break just so he could say he loved you. That Eli isn't gone; he's just waiting for you to take him back before he comes out again."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know how much he still loves you. I've seen it. He broke down after you saw him with Kate. He cried so hard because he thought he lost you for good."

"Eli actually cried?"

"I've never seen him cry before, but this was full-on waterworks. That's how upset he was to see you hurt and knowing that he was the one who caused that. And you know Eli; he doesn't cry. So if he cried that much even though he really didn't do anything wrong that day, which must mean he loves you."

Adam wasn't completely positive, but she thought he saw a small glint of joy in her eye. He hoped she would disregard the accidental flirting he did that one time since he cried for her.

"Clare, what you do with Eli isn't up to me but _please _understand that he does love you. If I know Eli, and I'm pretty sure I do, I'm certain he would rather die than hurt you. He's willing to do _anything_ at this point to show you that he cares for you, that you can trust him, and that he'll never let someone else come between you two again. Can you just think for a bit longer and not make any final decisions until you're sure you won't be able to move on from this? For Eli?" he added hopefully.

Clare inhaled and exhaled through her nose before making her mind.

"I'll think about it Adam, but I'm not making any promises that this will turn out the way we all want it to be."

* * *

"_I wanna make this work so much it hurts_

_But I just can't_

_Keep on giving, go on living _

_With the way things are"_

_~"How Far" by Martina McBride_

* * *

I know this chapter seems like a filler, but (like always) I have my reasons for putting them in. I promise you that tomorrow's chapter will be awesome! Reviews please!


	42. One Last Chance

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

I love your reviews! Thanks everyone! Alright people, last episode of the season tonight! I'm so excited! Okay, I think I've pretty much figured out where the story is going from here, but odds are I'll think of more, which is means it'll be longer than I thought it would be (whether or not that's good or bad is up to you). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Have you guys seen any EClare on Degrassi recently? No? How about Eli, Clare, and Adam friendship? No? Well, that's all the proof you need to realize that I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter Forty-Two

One Last Chance

Sunday afternoon came and Eli was staring at the picture of him and Clare at the amusement park from over the summer. It had been a week and a day since the two of them decided to be just friends . . . but he longed for them to be more. He knew him yelling at her earlier that week was a minor setback in the process of her forgiving him, so he knew that he had to do something bold to earn her trust and forgiveness. Even if he didn't succeed, he still wanted to make the attempt.

He soon thought of an idea that would probably help him get back in Clare's good books and, hopefully, earn back her trust. He had it all planned in his head and he was ready to put it into action. He just needed to find out one last thing . . . and he had an idea as to where he could to go to get an answer.

Eli apprehensively knocked on the Bhandari's front door a few minutes later, hoping that Alli would answer. He prepared for her she to be very harsh and cold towards like she was over a week ago when he went looking for Clare since he wasn't sure if she filled in her best friend on their decision to just be friends for a while. He waited patiently for her to answer the door and wished that Alli wouldn't end up slamming it in his face.

The door soon opened and the face of Alli appeared. She crossed her arms and glared at him sternly.

"Clare told me that she's talking to you again, but you guys are broken-up for now."

"Yeah," Eli replied, not quite sure how else to answer the question. "We're trying to still be friends."

"She told me that part too. She also said that there was more to the story and she's hoping that you two will actually get back together someday."

"That's basically how it's going right now. I need to ask you something about her," he said as he changed the conversation into the direction he needed it to go.

"Don't ask if she's going to forgive you anytime soon or not; she hasn't told me," Alli said bluntly.

"As much as I would love to know that information, that's not what I like to know."

"Then what's this about?"

"I'm going to do something to get her back and I need to know one thing before I do it and I think you'll know what it is."

Alli stood in the doorway for a second and considered the idea. She understood that everything had just gotten out of control and she believed that Eli and Clare were great together; he made her happy and that was what mattered. And it was obvious to Alli that Eli did still love Clare or else he wouldn't have come here. But there was still some unfinished business she had to take care of first.

"Alright, I'll help," she accepted. "But before I do . . ."

She suddenly punched his stomach as hard as she could. Eli managed to remain on his feet, but he grasped the pain in his stomach and curled into the fetal position. Alli was definitely stronger than she looked.

"Okay, I deserve that," he gasped out.

"Clare might've told me what really happened, but I am still very upset with you, mister. I never saw Clare cry that hard before in my _entire_ life and no one, and I mean _no one_, makes her cry like that without suffering the consequences."

Eli listened intently as he tried to straighten up, the soreness in his stomach slowly subsiding.

"I don't care if she's being nice to you," Alli continued to scold. "You are still in my bad books. You should've listened to her! If you weren't such an idiot, none of this would've happened, you guys wouldn't be on this break, she wouldn't be so heartbroken, and you two would be living your lives together. She didn't even feel this upset when she and K.C broke-up, so that must mean she feels a hell of a lot for you if you weren't going to break-up with her! I just thought I'd aware you of that before you do something like this again! From now on, you believe her whenever she tells you anything! And if you lie to her ever again, I will personally strip you of your manhood with a butter knife!"

Eli made a mental note of all this. Whether the plan he had in mind was going to work or not, he had no intentions on hurting Clare or lying to her again. However, he was going to be sure he did this more than ever, because he didn't want to be on Alli's hit list.

"Alright, I promise I won't do this to her again."

"Good," she nodded with a grin. "What was it that you wanted to ask me?"

()()

Hours later when the sun had set and the streetlights were shining, Eli balanced himself on a ladder as he knocked on the window of Clare's room. He saw Clare turn to the window's direction after she heard the tapping. She squinted to the window and saw Eli. For a second, he was worried she was going to look away. Instead, she walked over and opened the window. She saw him standing on the ladder as he held a single yellow tulip in his hand.

"What are you doing here?" she said with a small grin.

"Kate and I were six," he began immediately. "We were playing by the monkey bars at recess. She and I started playing house, and we both said how fun it would be if we actually got married one day. We both agreed that we would. We decided that we would get married at a fun-zone, our families would move in together, and we'd have a wedding cake make out of chocolate chip cookies. She'd wear a dress like Cinderella and I'd dress-up like Peter Pan. We agreed to all this but then she moved.

"Before she left, we pinkie-promised that we'd find each other again one day and we would go through with the whole thing. The older I got, the more I didn't want to keep that promise because I realized I was just a kid who didn't understand anything. That promise was forgotten a long time ago and all so-called feelings for her were erased," he confessed.

"Why are you telling me all this?" she asked.

"I'm trying to earn your trust back; I'm hoping this is a start," he said as he handed her the flower.

She took the flower and smiled at it.

"How did you know that I loved tulips?"

"I asked Alli; I wanted to know what your favorite flower was and she was the first person I thought of asking. She gave me a huge lecture about how much of a jerk I am in company with that punch in the gut I deserved before I finally got the answer, but it was worth it," he added followed by a chuckle.

"You did all that just to find out my favorite flower?" she said in amazement. "That . . . that just makes me . . . it was very thoughtful and sweet of you."

Clare had been confused as to why she and Eli should be together since Kate kissed him. There had been problems, arguments, and heartache for a while and she started doubting if they were meant to be. But now as he hung from her window, as he confessed the past, and as she found out he dealt with her best friend's rants to just find out her favorite flower and give it to her, she remembered why she felt so many strong feelings for Eli. He was kind, sweet, considerate, smart, and just simply amazing in every way. This was the Eli she remembered and the one she was still deeply in love with.

"And it's also an apology for attacking you like I did earlier this week."

"Forget about that," she told him. Clare looked up at Eli and smiled. "The last week or so you've been friendly, you haven't pushed me to forgive you, you've given me the time I ask for, and now you're here doing this romantic gesture."

"Did I come on too strong too soon?" he asked cautiously.

"No," she reassured.

"Good," he sighed in relief. "So is this a start?" he asked hopefully.

"It's more than a start," she told him as she leaned out the window. "You're almost there."

Eli grinned a bit before looking directly into her eyes.

"Listen, I know I screwed up big time. I don't forgive myself for letting this happen and for doing this to you. I am willing to do anything to make this up to you, I promise that I will not do this to you again, I will be fully honest to you from this point onward, and I will do anything – and I mean _anything_ – to make this right."

"Anything?" she repeated.

"Absolutely anything."

"Eli, you've done just about everything."

"That's not good enough. Name it and I'll do it if it means we're going to be okay again someday."

"There's only one other thing you can do."

"What's that?"

Clare put his forehead against his.

"Kiss me," she whispered.

Eli felt a genuine grin sneak onto his face before slowly put his lips over hers. She allowed his tongue to enter her mouth as his lips fondled hers. After a couple of minutes, they both stopped.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" he asked.

"You tell me," Clare replied before she put her lips back to his. They remained in this position as the past week began to become a part of history. It didn't matter anymore. They were together again and that was the important thing.

"Clare, I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry that all of this had to happen and that I didn't believe you in the first place," he said once again once their lips parted again.

"You're forgiven," she reassured him as her eyes glistened for the first time in what felt like years.

"Thank you. And if anything like this ever happens again, you can personally punch me till I'm in a coma or until I'm dead," he promised.

"How come I have the feeling that won't be necessary?" she smiled.

"Because I swear it'll never, never, never, never –."

Clare cut him off by putting her lips on his again.

"I get it," she said softly as she removed her lips. "And as long as I can trust you, I'll believe you."

"And next time you even have a single thought about some girl other than you flirting with me, you let me know and I'll believe you."

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die," he vowed.

Since they hadn't kissed or had no affectionate contact in a week, they didn't mind kissing as many times as they were. Once Eli was finished speaking, Clare plastered her mouth to his again.

"I've missed doing that," she informed him breathlessly as she tasted the flavor of his lips and tongue on her own.

"So have I," he confessed before she ran her tulip-free hand over his hair.

"How did you get a ladder all the way over here without my mom noticing you?" she asked, knowing that her parents would be less than thrilled about a boy sneaking to her window.

"It wasn't easy. I had to use my ninja skills and everything."

Clare chortled at his joke before looking at the tulip again.

"This is very John Hughes of you."

"Should I take that as compliment?"

"Well, it got me to fall head-over-heels for you again, so I'd say that you should."

"You know, if this didn't work I was going to stand outside with a boom box and play our song over and over."

"Eli, we don't have a song," she recalled.

"Well, I guess we'll have to find one someday . . . just in case I ever need to play it outside your window."

Clare beamed at him.

"That's definitely something to talk about."

"What do you say we discuss it after school tomorrow at the Dot?"

"I'm working," she reminded him.

"Not until five-thirty," he recalled.

"Right," she remembered. "Then it's a date."

"And would you be interested in a ride to school in Morty?"

"I would indeed. You know what, Eli?"

"What?" he asked.

"This kind of reminds me of the ending of our play."

"You mean how the two characters are going to live happily-ever-after?" he guessed speculated.

"Exactly," she said.

"Like us?"

"Like us," she nodded before she rested her forehead against his.

"I've missed you being my girlfriend," he said.

"I've missed you being my boyfriend," she admitted. "But at least this we're together again now."

"Exactly," he grinned.

"Clare, dinner!" her mother called from downstairs.

"Coming!" she called over her shoulder before turning back to Eli. "I have to go."

"It's okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Can't wait," she said honestly.

"Goodnight," he told her.

"Goodnight," she replied before they exchanged a final kiss.

Eli began to descend down the ladder and tried very hard not to break his gaze with Clare. She smiled at him as he collapsed the ladder until it was a short as it could go. Eli didn't care if he had to carry it a block away, stuff it into the back of Morty, and then put it back in the extremely cramped garage; he was granted forgiveness by the person he cared about more than the air he breathed and all the other problems in his world seemed less troublesome.

Clare watched him as he began to walk off the property while carrying the ladder. Before he was out of earshot, she quickly called out the words she wanted to say to him for over a week.

"I love you, Eli Goldsworthy!"

Eli smiled widely and turned around to see her looking out her window again. For the first time in a long time, a bubble of warmth burst inside him.

"I love you too, Clare Edwards!" he called back. "With all my heart!"

* * *

"_Can we put the past behind us?_

_Tonight I'm gonna fight for you_

_Just give me one last chance to make it right"_

_~"One Last Chance" by Daughtry_

* * *

If you read this story's summary, I said this is Eli and Clare going through "the ups and downs of life". This isn't just a story about Kate; I have one final thing about her coming down the road, but it's going to be a while before that happens (it's going to be _HUGE_). However, if you just read this story because of Kate drama, I suggest you stop reading now. But if would like to know where this is going, feel free to stay. I hope most of you do, because I think you'll like where it's heading! Until then REVIEWS please! The good stuff is about to begin! See you guys when I update again!


	43. Miracle

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the reviews everyone! I'm glad you guys like this story! Okay, I was satisfied with the finale. Sure, Eli and Clare aren't back together (yet! I'm still remaining optimistic) but at least there was an Eli/Adam/Clare friendship scene, Adam lived, and Jake and Clare are finished! We're finally at the famous "good stuff" I keep mentioning. There's a lot of it and it includes drama, romance, and humor here and there. How long is it? That's up to you to decide. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I . . . I . . . ALRIGHT I CONFESS! I don't own Degrassi!

* * *

Chapter Forty-Three

Miracle

Eli picked up Clare in Morty the next morning and they greeted each other by sharing a passionate kiss. They drove to Degrassi in a comfortable silence and they exchanged sweet smiles along the way. Once they arrived at the school, they climbed out of the hearse and went up the steps to enter the building. They then began to hold hands for the first time in a week as they made their way and they grinned at each other at the same time.

Eli was so glad that Clare had given him this second chance. Evidently she saw something inside him that was worthy of such a blessing and he was thankful for that. But he was going hold to his promise more than he originally intended. He was going to do everything humanly possible to not let her lose trust in him again. He wasn't going to hide anything from her, he would always believe her, and he was going to be open with her from that point on; she deserved it since she was always truthful with him and she was kind enough to allow them to be together again.

"Kate alert," she informed him as they walked down the hall. Sure enough, Kate Parker was leaning against a locker while reading a book of some sort. She darted her eyes up and glared at the sight of Clare and Eli holding hands as they came her way.

Eli noticed and he turned to Clare.

"Are we still on for our date at the Dot after school?" he asked, attempting to get Clare to focus on something other than Kate.

"Yeah," she nodded, trying to ignore the scowl she was casting on the couple.

"Do you also want to work on the play while we're there? I finished the first act over the weekend," he tried again, but it was clear that his tactic wasn't working.

"Sure," Clare said, feeling Kate's eyes on them as they walked towards their lockers.

Clare knew it was a matter of time until Kate found out about her and Eli being back together, but it still worried her a bit. What if she took a step to break-up her and Eli again? Clare wasn't affected about what Kate thought last week since she and Eli were taking time, but now they were officially back together so she was now terrified that she would do something else to either weasel her way back into Eli's life or take a drastic measure to get him to like her.

Eli leaned on his left shoulder on his locker. His back was to Kate, but he knew she was still watching them. He attempted to block Clare's view by standing this way.

"Think of her as just another face in the crowd," he suggested.

"But she's not," she reminded him. "She kissed you."

"Yes, _kissed_. Past tense," he emphasized.

"She _likes_ you. Present tense," Clare added. "And she doesn't seem happy that we're back together."

"Well, that's what she gets for trying to break us up," Eli said as he put his hand on her waist.

"What if she does something to get you into her life again?"

"She can try, but she won't succeed."

He then kissed Clare's lips, not caring that Kate was observing them. She had to know that Clare and Eli were strong, in love, and that nothing was going to end what they had between them.

Their lips fondled on each other's for a few seconds before separating.

"Is she gone?" Eli asked her. Clare then looked over his shoulder and saw that the place Kate was standing in a mere few minutes before was now abandoned.

"Yeah," she answered him. "So what happens between you two now?" she asked.

"Nothing," he told her. "I'm not her friend anymore and she's not mine. She is ancient history. She can get down on her knees and beg for us to be friends again, but I'm not going to take her back in any way."

"Promise?" she hoped.

"Promise," he told her. "From now on, it is just you and me."

"What am I? Chopped liver?" a new voice asked. They saw Adam wearing a grin as he walked up to the couple. He called Eli last night to see how everything was going between him and Clare and received the happy news that the two of them were together again.

"No," Eli assured him. "You're more of a crouton."

Adam rolled his eyes with a laugh.

"I feel the love. Speaking of which, I'm _so_ glad that you guys are back together and that all this Kate stuff is behind us."

"Now we can finally go back to normal," Clare said in relief.

"Whatever that is," Eli piped in.

"The bottom line is that we can all finally move on with our lives," Adam said. "But, before we put this thing to rest for good, I need to say one thing."

He turned to Eli.

"I told you so."

Eli knew that Adam would eventually say those four words, but he was pleased that he said them now so they wouldn't have to worry about it ever again.

"Alright, that door is closed, the other one is open."

()()

Eli now sat next to Clare at lunch a few hours later with his arm secured around her shoulders while she sat as close to him as possible.

"Do you know who I love?" he asked.

"Who?" she played along.

"You," he grinned at her.

"And I love you."

She attached her lips to Eli's and didn't release until they heard Adam's voice.

"I still sense the tranquility in the universe," he noticed as he sat across from them.

"And isn't it wonderful?" Clare responded as she laid her head on Eli's shoulder.

"Not as wonderful as you," Eli grinned at her.

Clare smiled and coiled her hand around the lanyard that held his student ID.

"I love you _so_ much."

"I love you more, Blue Eyes," he challenged.

"Oh you think so?"

"Guys," Adam interrupted, trying not to show the grin forming on his face. "I'm glad you two are back together and stuff, but must you be so cheesy?"

"Hey, we haven't been this way in a week," Eli defended. "We have to make up for it."

"Alright, fine," he accepted, his smile now showing. "But please try to decrease it back to normal by next week, okay?"

"Okay," Clare answered in mock-exasperation.

"How's the script for the play coming?" Adam changed the subject.

"We have everything planned and the first act is written thanks to Eli," Clare informed with a grin at her boyfriend.

"But we still have to write the rest of it," Eli continued. "And Clare thought of the perfect name for it: _Feudal Romance_."

"Catchy," Adam nodded in approval. "Will you guys be able to get it done by Friday?"

"Definitely . . . I'll try not to get distracted," he muttered to Clare, who blushed and smiled at him affectionately.

All the days that week were similar to this. Adam, who was pleased that his two best friends were reunited, tolerated their ways. Plus Kate was out of their lives and everything was sane again, so he couldn't complain.

For the rest of the week, Eli and Clare were very lovey-dovey with each other at Degrassi. They exchanged flirtatious gazes when they were in English, snuck away for a make-out session during study periods, and held hands in the halls. However, they didn't spend every second together trying to make up for the time they lost last week. They did have a script to work on after all.

Every day after school they went by the Dot to work on the play and nothing else. It was like their first meeting, but they actually did take a minute to make some side-comments about the love of the characters being similar to their own and they didn't feel empty when they parted. They also spent their meetings with the Drama club working and Hannigan was pleased to see that they were working well together; she finally got the writing team she hoped for.

Thanks to their focus and dedication, they were able to write, revise, and completed the script a day before their deadline. They basked in their accomplishment by sharing a lingering kiss in the hall after they gave the finished product to Hannigan.

It was now Friday evening and Eli was sitting at his desk working on his small pile of homework some teachers assigned him to do over the weekend as the soft vibration of his music library played in the background.

When he heard his phone start playing Clare's ringtone, he abandoned his homework and turned off the music.

"Good evening, beautiful," he answered.

He heard her chuckle on the other line before she responded.

"Hi, handsome."

"What's up?" he asked, flattered by her compliment.

"Oh . . . not much. I'm just calling to see how the best boyfriend ever was doing."

"Well, I'm not sure about him, but I'm doing pretty well."

Clare rolled her eyes and let out a laugh.

"And how are _you_ doing?" Eli asked.

"Good . . . what are you up to?"

"Doing homework . . . thinking of you . . . the usual," Eli flirted.

"That's ironic; I was doing homework and thinking of you too," Clare smiled.

"We are officially synced."

Clare chortled before the conversation proceeded.

"So . . . do you need a break from the homework?"

"Is that an invitation?"

"I was thinking that we should hang-out. Since I've been working and we've been busy with the script, we haven't really had a date after school when we could just talk and stuff, so I thought now wouldn't be a bad time . . . unless you'd rather spend the rest of the night doing homework."

"Let's see," Eli teased, pretending to think hard about his choices. "Do homework, hang-out with my girlfriend . . . homework, girlfriend . . . I need to give this some serious thought."

"I'll meet you at the Dot," Clare chuckled.

"See you there," he smiled before hanging up his phone.

()()

Clare walked into the Dot ten minutes later and saw Eli already sitting in their usual booth. He smiled and waved at her and she mirrored him. She walked towards him when she saw that two drinks were already at the table.

"Hi," she smiled as she took a seat across from him.

"Hey. I took the liberty of ordering your usual beverage for you," he said, gesturing to the cup of coffee in front of her.

"That was very kind of you," she thanked him before taking a sip and the flavor of French vanilla washed over her tongue. "Yum."

"You realize we've been back together for five days now," he stated to create a topic of conversation.

"It's only been five days?" she remarked.

"Seems longer, doesn't it?" he replied. "So, does that mean we're starting over and we've been together five days, or have we still been considered to be together a year?"

"Personally, I think what happened was just a _huge_ misunderstanding, we should put it behind us where it belongs, and we get on with our lives. I say that we've been together for thirteen months, but there was just a bump in the road."

"That works for me."

"Speaking of being together for a year, I have something to give to you," Clare stated as she reached down into her purse to find it.

"Clare, you didn't have to –."

"I already did," she smirked at him.

After venturing through her bag that contained her cell phone, birth control pills, and various other items, she finally found what she was looking for.

"I know it's a month late, but happy anniversary," she said once she pulled out a red envelope and handed it to her boyfriend.

Not sure at all what she was giving him, Eli opened the envelope. He pulled out two rectangular pieces of paper as Clare sat there anxiously to see his reaction. He soon saw that they were tickets of some kind; once he saw what they were for, he tried to keep in a shriek in delight.

"Tickets to the Spring Jam!" he exclaimed, causing half of the customers and a few employees to look at them for a second.

"I remember you saying something about it when we went bowling last month with Adam and . . ." She intentionally left out Kate as she recalled the moment of the double date when Eli mentioned him really hoping to see this particular concert.

"Oh my God!" he said with an amazed expression on his face as he continued to stare at the tickets. "H-How did you – they were sold – whoa!"

"Take a breath," she instructed him before he had a heart attack from overexcitement. He obeyed before looking up at her.

"Clare, all the biggest bands are going to be there! Green Day, Seether, Black Veil Brides –!"

"Escape the Fate," she added.

"Are you serious?" he said with more enthusiasm.

"Yep," she nodded. "Asking Alexandria dropped out, and they're taking their place."

He smiled at her before gazing at the tickets in awe again.

"Do you want to go together?" she asked even though she was pretty sure she knew what his answer was going to be.

"Abso-freaking-loutely! How did you get these? They were sold out!" he asked before looking at her again.

"Well, Sav's roommate knows someone who works at the arena where the Jam's going to take place; he got two tickets for free but he has to be at a wedding on that day, so he gave them to Sav, who gave them to Alli, who gave them to me, who's giving them to you."

"Clare . . . thank you," he finally got out, his excitement not decreasing the slightest.

"No problem," she smiled.

Eli read the tickets when he had a realization.

"Wait, the concert's in Stratford."

"So?" she asked with a shrug.

"It's an hour and a half away and it these concerts can get insane. Will your parents let you go?"

"I already checked with them and then said that I can go as long as I don't drink, smoke, and I come home in one piece."

"But it probably won't end till around midnight, so we won't be getting you back home till at least one-thirty, maybe two o'clock. Will they mind you coming home so late?"

"As long I make it back, they'll be fine. Besides, they won't know how late I get home anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"My dad is going away on business and my mom is going to visit my grandmother in Brantford and neither of them will be back till Sunday."

"Okay, so they're letting you stay out late with your boyfriend, go to Stratford, go to a rock concert, and leaving you alone for the weekend? Are these the same parents who hated my guts at this time last year?" he asked curiously.

Clare turned up the corners of her mouth.

"It surprised me too," she admitted. "I thought it would take a lot of convincing, but it didn't. So, in two weeks from today, you and I will be in Stratford listening to some of your favorite bands playing live."

"And, even though it's almost two months late, we'll be celebrating our anniversary."

"Exactly," Clare smiled.

* * *

"_I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive_

_So I'm going to start over tonight_

_Beginning with you and I_

_When this memory fades_

_I'm gonna make sure it's replaced"_

_~"Miracle" by Paramore_

* * *

Unfortunately, I made up the Spring Jam and the fact that all these bands performed together. If it was true, I'd be freaking out and trying to get on the stage (me likey some BVB and ETF)! Who wants to actually read about them going to the concert? Let me know, because I have something up my sleeve whether I publish it or not, so it's up to you guys! Reviews my lovely peoples of the World Wide Web!


	44. Rebel Love Song

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for reviewing people! I would like to give a HUGE thanks to KitKat0219 for her assistance on this chapter, because it would've SUCKED without her input! I owe you big time, my friend! Sorry it took me so long to update (dang homework). Concert chapter! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, Escape the Fate, Black Veil Brides, Green Day, Seether, VersaEmerge, (take a breath) the songs "Holiday", "Fallen Angels", "Know Your Enemy", "Fire (Aim Your Arrows High)", and . . . well, you guys get the picture (I then pass out due to lack of air in my lungs).

* * *

Chapter Forty-Four

Rebel Love Song

Eli and Clare informed Adam the following Monday that they had tickets to the Spring Jam and that were going together. In no time at all, they both felt slightly guilty since they felt like they were making him out to be a third-wheel. They hated doing that to him since he was their best friend and he was one of the people who always helped them when they had disagreements or misunderstandings.

Before Adam had time to react to the news about them going to the concert, the couple began saying how that they wished there could've been three tickets, Clare said she was willing to give him hers since he had been a fan of the bands for a longer period of time, and Eli promised him that the two of them could go to another concert sometime.

"Guys, it's fine," he reassured once he was finally able to get them quiet.

"You don't feel left out or anything?" Clare made sure.

"I'm jealous that you guys get to hear some of the greatest bands of all time play their music live, but I got to see Dead Hand, so I can't complain. And there's the fact that you guys are on a smooth road again and you two deserve a night out together. Besides, I can't go anyway."

"Why?" Eli asked.

"I got stuck with the responsibility of babysitting by neighbor's five-year-old. But I get extra cash, so everything works out in the end. You two have fun at the Jam," he said with a grin. "Just bring me back a t-shirt and details."

"Deal," Eli accepted with a relieved grin.

"You're the best, Adam," Clare told him with a smile of her own.

"You are aware that your boyfriend is standing here, right?" Adam jested.

"Yeah, I'm standing right here," Eli repeated jokingly.

Clare rolled her eyes.

"You're both the best, just in different ways."

"I guess I can live with that," Eli shrugged with a smirk as the bell rang overhead.

()()

January soon slipped away and the first week of February was upon them. Friday soon came and that meant the night of the Spring Jam had arrived. The doors to the expo didn't open until seven, but since they were going to have a long drive ahead of them plus traffic, Eli and Clare were going to leave at five.

Right now, Clare was at her house and changing out of her Degrassi uniform. She put on a pair of dark jeans, a black slim-fit shirt, and her sneakers before putting her phone and wallet in her pocket and going down the stairs. Eli wasn't going to be there for another ten minutes, so she decided to wait for him.

"Hi sweetie," her mother greeted her from the living room.

"Hi," she greeted. She saw her mother zipping up her bag on the couch. "Ready for your trip?"

"Yep," she replied. "And are you set for the concert?"

"Once Eli gets here," Clare replied.

"Okay," Helen began, looking up at her daughter. "All the numbers you need are next to the phone, your dad and I will call to check in every now and then, the first aid kit is in the closet, and –."

"Mom, I'll be fine," she reassured her mother.

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Clare went towards the door and opened it.

"Hey," she greeted Eli as he let him in the house.

"Hi," he replied. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, just one second," Clare said before going back to the living room, Eli following not far behind her.

"Mom, we're going to get on the road," she informed her mother.

"Alright," Helen said. "Now remember, no –."

"No drinking, no smoking, no drugs," Clare listed for her mother.

"Exactly," she said. "And I want both of you to be careful."

"We will," Eli and Clare promised in unison.

"And, Clare, I want you be careful about who you talk to and make sure no one does anything to you."

"I was already going to," Clare eased.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Edwards," Eli reassured her. "I'll make sure nothing happens to her."

Clare grinned at him and her mother did the same.

"Alright," she said. "Now the two of you have fun."

"We will," Clare promised.

Helen then pulled Clare into a hug and kissed her cheek.

"I'll see you Sunday," she told her.

"Love you, Mom," Clare said as she released her.

"Love you too."

"Tell Grandma I said 'hi'."

"Okay," Helen said as they walked towards the door.

"Bye, Mrs. Edwards," Eli said.

"Bye, Eli," she bade before they left the house.

"Stratford, here we come," Eli announced as they walked towards Morty.

()()

With all the traffic, it took the couple an hour and forty-five minutes to get to Stratford. They talked and listened to music to pass the time until they reached their destination. They found Expo Six, the one story building where the concert was going to take place, and pulled Morty into the already crowded parking lot. They climbed out of the car and began to walk all the way towards the building. Eli took Clare's hand in the process, the excitement slowly getting to him.

"Are you sure you want to go in? These kinds of concerts can get a bit out of control," he forewarned her.

"Trying to get rid of me?" she teased as they walked towards the expo.

"Now why would I do that?" he smirked. "I'm just saying that people can get crazy and I don't want you to feel overwhelmed or freaked-out or anything."

"It will be an experience," she told him as they stood at the back of a line leading to the door. "Besides, I'm here with you, so I'll be fine."

"Alright," he said. "No turning back."

"Good," Clare grinned as they got closer to the entering the expo.

They showed their tickets to one of the people working the entrance, gave them their wristbands to signify that they were allowed to be inside, and they entered. It was already crowded with at least another hundred people; a percentage of the people were at a bar were getting alcohol while the rest were either standing in front of the stage waiting for the first band to come on, standing and socializing with their peers, or getting some souvenirs from the tables selling merchandise.

It was a darkened building with a wide stage at the front of the room; a few instruments were set up along with a few microphone stands. There was a small area connected out to the side for bathrooms and for people to purchase nonalcoholic beverages. As the couple observed the room, they heard loud music blasting through the speakers to keep the crowd entertained.

"Let's see," Eli said as he read the board behind the merch tables. "We'll be listening to the godly music of Green Day, VersaEmerge, Seether, Black Veil Brides, and Escape the Fate. Excited?"

"I've been waiting for this night for weeks. Of course I'm excited," she replied with honesty.

They decided that they would each get a souvenir t-shirt and the one they promised Adam later as they joined the crowd as they waited for the first band to come on. Eli was standing next to Clare with an enthused grin on his head as he nodded his head to the music from the speakers. She couldn't help but smile at how ebullient he was.

"Are _you_ excited?" she asked after she coiled her arms around his right arm.

"How could you tell?" he grinned at her.

"Oh, just a feeling," she shrugged.

Suddenly, the music coming through the speakers stopped. The noise the crowd was making died down a bit. After a minute of anticipation to see who the first band was going to be, the faction of teenagers and young adults witnessed three guys come onto the stage. The audience went wild when Green Day began playing their song "Holiday."

"HOW YOU DOING STRATFORD?" Billie Joe Armstrong screamed into the microphone.

Every last person in the large group, including Eli and Clare, responded by hollering and screaming before the lyrics began.

"_Hear the sound of the falling rain_

_Coming down like an Armageddon flame_

_The shame_

_The ones who died without a name"_

Eli and Clare sang with the people surrounding them as they listened to the song. Every now and then they clapped their hands along with the rest of the crowd to the beat. They did this repeatedly to all the other songs the band performed. Green Day was on for at least another forty minutes. The crowd screamed for an encore and they agreed for one last song. They played "Know Your Enemy" before abandoning the stage. As they left, Eli, Clare, and the rest of the crowd hollered and applauded.

"Whoa!" Clare squealed, punching the air.

"Thank you for giving me the tickets to this," he told her as he curled his arms around her waist.

"Enjoying yourself?" she asked.

"Hell yeah," he said. "I had no idea you were so educated in the lyrics of Green Day."

"Well, I may have listened to some of their songs online a million times."

"I should let you borrow some of my CDs then."

"Maybe you should," she replied.

It wasn't too long until VersaEmerge took the stage. Once again, the couple joined the crowd as they listened, sang along, and moved to the music. They avoided the mosh pits since Eli didn't want to leave Clare's side and it was clear that she wasn't keen on going in. He didn't mind though; he was perfectly fine watching the bands with his girlfriend.

What he didn't expect, however, was how much she was enjoying herself. He never thought that Clare would scream, sing along, or go to the music as much as she was. When VersaEmerge started playing the chorus of their song "Fire (Aim Your Arrows High)", Clare continuously punched the air with the rest of the crowd.

"Clare, I've never seen you so energetic," he commented in amazement.

"This is my first concert," she explained, her voice still filled with excitement. "I have a _lot _of adrenaline going through me."

"I've noticed," he grinned as she moved with the music. "I'm just a bit . . ."

"A bit surprised that Saint Clare would actually have fun at a rock concert with her boyfriend while her parents are out of town?" she assumed with a grin, no longer hitting the air in front of her since the tempo of the song slowed down again.

"I wasn't going to use those words, but I am definitely surprised," he admitted. He was worried for a minute that he would offend her by saying that it was odd for her to be so carefree in this kind of location; he expected her to be on her guard, but she wasn't.

She took his hands, smiled at him, and put them on her hips. He was relieved to see that she didn't look insulted at all. As she moved to the rhythm of the music, he couldn't help but move with her.

"It's good to know I can still surprise you," she said, keeping her hands on top of his.

"You always do," Eli said before kissing behind her ear and listening to the rest of the song.

()()

Every time a band went off stage, a few people scattered away from the front to either use a bathroom or to buy drinks or merchandise. Eli and Clare, however, always remained in front of the stage, but they were able to get closer every time the crowds thinned. After VersaEmerge left the stage, they went through the small groups in front of them and were right in front of the stage while they waited for Seether to come on.

"You realize that we are going to be in reaching distance of some amazing musicians?" she exclaimed.

"I know!" Eli replied. "Let's just be sure we don't lose this spot."

They stayed rooted there for a few minutes listening to the music from the speakers until Eli broke the silence between them.

"I'll be right back," he told her. "I'm gonna go find a bathroom. Be careful until I get back, okay?"

"I'll be fine, don't worry," she reassured him before he began stepping away and vanishing in the crowd.

She stashed one of her birth control pills in one of her pockets before coming to the concert so she could take it at the appropriate time. It was around nine o'clock, which was the time she would usually deposit the pill into her mouth, so she dug the small tablet out of her pocket. Once she was certain Eli was out of sight, she swallowed it.

She never stopped taking them even though she and Eli weren't exactly together for that period of time; something inside told her to keep taking them so she did. Eli still had no idea she was taking them. In fact, the only other people who did know were Alli and Bianca, who supplied her with them since she was too young to get them from a pharmacy without her parents knowing.

She wasn't sure when she was going to take the leap of faith to try and sleep with Eli, but she was continuing to take the pills as a precaution. She was grateful she had a job now so she wouldn't have to keep dipping into her savings to buy them from Bianca.

Clare stayed rooted in the same spot he left her in a few minutes ago and stared at the stage while waiting patiently for Eli to come back. She stood there without a care in the world when . . .

"Well hello there."

A guy around the age of twenty with dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and tall stature was standing to the left of her. Clare was taken aback and she didn't know how to react; thus she merely stood there like a deer in the headlights.

"It's usually polite to say 'hi' when someone greets you," he mentioned, his voice deep.

"Hi," she said, before looking back to the stage. She felt the guy take another step towards her so their bodies were centimeters apart.

"You are very beautiful," the guy said immediately.

"Um . . ." Clare said nervously. She glanced over her shoulder to check to see if Eli was coming back. Unfortunately, all she saw was a crowd of strangers.

"And a pretty little thing like you shouldn't be here by yourself," he informed.

"I-I'm not."

"Then why are you standing in the crowd all alone?" he asked, putting a hand on her waist.

"I'm actually here with my boyfriend," Clare spat out quickly, taking a step away from him so his hand wasn't touching her anymore. "And I'm just waiting for him to get back here."

"Well, how about we go someplace quiet and make it quick before he gets back?" he attempted to convince her as he began to inch his hand towards her again.

"_No_!" she refused, slapping his hand away.

"Come on, girl."

"I'm here with my boyfriend," she repeated. "And I don't plan on sneaking away to be with someone else."

"Let's just have some fun."

"I'm having fun with my _boyfriend_, who I love very much, and I would _never_ do something with another guy while I'm with him, so please leave me alone," she demanded sharply.

Without another word, the guy backed into the crowd again. It was clear that he wasn't being thrilled with being rejected. He was soon hidden behind some people and he was soon out of Clare's sight.

She let out a frustrated sigh as she turned around to face the stage again. Seconds later, she saw someone out of the corner of her right eye. She turned her head and saw Eli coming through the crowd with two bottles of water in his hands.

"So you don't dehydrate," he said as he gave her a bottle.

"Thanks," she replied before taking a drink; to her relief, it took the pill she swallowed before all the way down.

He stood right next to her against the gate. Instead of looking at the stage in anticipation for Seether to come on, he looked at the floor on the other side of the gate.

"Are you okay?" she asked, noticing that he wasn't grinning, smirking, or presenting any features of happiness at all.

"Yeah," Eli nodded.

"Are you sure? You don't seem the same way you were when you left here."

Eli looked at the front of the stage and debated whether or not to tell Clare what was on his mind. He didn't want this night to take a wrong turn and go bad just because of a twinge of anger. However, he tried to get it out of his mind but it wouldn't go away.

He took a breath and began to speak, but he hoped that this wouldn't lead to an unpleasant dispute.

"I saw you and that guy."

"What?" she asked.

"I just saw you talking to some dude and . . . it looked like he was hitting on you."

"I know," she said. "That's why I told him that I had a boyfriend who was very much in love with and I told him to go away."

Clare stood there for a second observing Eli. She saw his expression on his face relax, but she still saw something in his eye.

"Are you mad?" she asked.

"No. I'm just . . . I feel like . . ." he trailed off, not sure how to describe it.

"Like someone is slowly tearing out your heart while hitting you in the stomach?" she elucidated.

"Basically," he answered. He turned to look at her and saw her looking down at the ground as though she was reflecting on a painful experience. "Is this how you felt when Kate flirted with me?"

"At times," she nodded. "When it was the small things it felt like that. Other times it was _way _worse."

These words gave him a guilt-ridden blow to the gut. He remembered all the hell he put Clare through not long ago with Kate and he wished desperately that none of it happened. He coiled his arms around her.

"I am so sorry," he whispered in her ear.

She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I forgave you a while ago," she reminded him, understanding why he was apologizing.

"Still, if I felt like _that_ for a minute, I don't even want to begin know how you felt for months. If I knew this was how you felt, I would've listened to you a long time ago about her. I just wish that I realized that a while ago so you didn't have to go through everything."

Clare grinned at him and put her lips to his. Although he was jubilant as usual when they kissed, Eli also felt slightly surprised.

"What was that for?" he asked once the kiss was over.

"You care," she shrugged. "You always have."

"And I always will," he promised.

"I know," she said. "Don't worry about what happened, okay? It's done."

She met his lips again. They deepened the kiss and enjoyed the moment they were in while they celebrated being together for more than a year. She stuck her tongue into his mouth as they began a steamy make-out session. They were becoming absorbed in their moment when a voice ruined it.

"Get a room!" it shouted at them. They turned their heads and saw the guy who was hitting on her few minutes ago. They turned away and faced each other again.

"Ignore him," she instructed as she looked into his eyes. "He's just jealous of you . . . and he has every reason to be."

Eli smiled at her before giving her a final peck on her lips. They separated, turned back to face the stage, and began waiting excitedly for the members of Seether to come on and start performing their music.

The couple nodded their heads to the music of "Tonight" when the band finally appeared. Eli stood next to Clare and kept his arms around her.

"This might just be one of the best nights ever!"

()()

The closing act of the night, Escape the Fate, came on the stage a few minutes after Black Veil Brides (who came on after Seether). Once again overwhelmed at the fact that another band that Eli had introduced her to was so close to them, they sang along to the songs, screaming, and having a good time.

Escape the Fate left the stage and that signaled the end of the concert. Somewhat disappointed that it was over so soon yet astonished by the amazing performances they saw that night, the crowd began to break apart and began to exit the expo.

"That was freaking awesome!" Clare screeched as she and Eli walked away from the stage.

"Are your ears still ringing?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"They'll probably be that way for a while."

"But it was _so_ worth it," she said. They stopped by the merch table and bought three concert t-shirts before they took each other's hands and walked out of the stadium.

"I'm glad we came."

"Me too," she smiled.

They walked towards Morty and climbed in. The parking lot was full of cars, so everyone was moving out onto the road at a snail's pace, so they decided to wait for a while before making any attempts to pull out.

Clare looked at the shirt she had just purchased; it was black and the front read _Spring Jam_ in red, bold letters while the back had a list of all the bands that came and they were written in a thinner font. She couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

"What?" Eli asked, noticing her.

She turned to him and grinned.

"A year ago, I probably would've never gone to a party or to a concert like this one, but I did. I'm just thinking about how much I've changed in the past year since we started going out."

"Is that a good thing or in a bad thing?" he asked.

She took his hand and grinned.

"I've fallen in love for the first time since we started dating as well . . . so it's definitely a good thing," she said to him.

With a relieved glint in his eye, he leaned in for a kiss and she reciprocated. Their lips met and they enjoyed the moment of endearment.

* * *

"_Take your hand in mine_

_It's ours tonight"_

_~"Rebel Love Song" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

I tried my best on writing this chapter, but it was tough; I really couldn't put much in about the concert without it getting repetitive, so please forgive me if this chapter wasn't the best. Next chapter should be published soon and it will be 1,000,000,000,000 times better, I promise. It will be up soon! Until then, reviews please (pretty, pretty, pretty please; they don't have to be good or long. Just some kind of feedback would be appreciative!)!


	45. I Drove All Night

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the reviews! I love ALL of you in one way or another (in the non-creepy way of course)! I wasn't going to publish this chapter till next week, but the lovely simplecrafter and KitKat0219 asked me to update this weekend, so here it is! Okay, here's the thing I've had up my sleeve for some time. I know it's long, but I don't think you guys will be disappointed. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. If I did, Morty would still be alive . . . I miss that hearse! He was so young . . . okay he was vintage; not exactly young, but that made him more awesome!

* * *

Chapter Forty-Five

I Drove All Night

"I'm just going to say this: that was officially the best concert _ever_!" Eli declared as he and Clare walked into her home an hour and forty-five minutes later.

"Even better than the Dead Hand concert you went to see with Adam and Sav?" Clare asked as she closed the door behind them.

"Although that concert was epic and the night in general was entertaining, this night was _so _much better for many reasons. One, I saw some of the best bands ever. Two, I got to see you unleash your wild side," he remarked with a grin.

Clare playfully rolled her eyes, but she knew this statement was true. She did get a little carried away while listening to the heavy music and maybe she got a bit crazy when she saw a few amazing bands in the flesh.

"Three, we were four feet away from Craig Mabbitt," he continued. "Lastly, and most importantly, I got to go to this concert with you."

"Those sound like fair reasons," she smiled as she walked closer to him.

"I admit that I was surprised you rocked-out so much."

"What can I say? I'm full of surprises," Clare shrugged. "Did you have fun?"

"Oh yeah!" Eli exclaimed. "Did you?"

"Absolutely."

"I'm glad," he smiled before he kissed her.

He looked at the clock on the wall once the kiss was over and sighed regrettably. "It's one-thirty; I should go."

"Wait," Clare protested as she grabbed his hand. "Do you have to go? My parents aren't here so you don't really have a reason to leave."

"I don't think they'd be very thrilled about me staying after midnight."

"Who says they have to know?" she questioned with a grin. "Can you _please _stay just a bit longer?"

"Well . . . it _would_ be rude to turn down an invitation," he said slyly.

Clare smiled before she pulled her phone out of her pocket and went to a list of audio she recorded every once in a while. She scrolled down to the first closely romantic song she could find and started playing it. "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides began to play as she set the phone down on a table by the door. The sound quality wasn't the best, but it would do.

Eli read her mind as he hugged her waist and she wrapped her arms around his torso. They began swaying to the tempo of the music.

"When was the last time we slow-danced?" Clare asked after a minute of nothing but smiling and moving.

"Last year at the spring formal," Eli answered.

"Oh yeah," she recalled. "The one I dragged you to."

"I was going to go eventually; I just needed a bit of convincing," he defended himself.

"After listening to half your CD collection and an hour make-out session," she reminisced.

"But in the end, everyone won. We got to go to the dance together, we got to kiss for the longest time, and now we listen to some of the same music. If I'm not mistaken, this was one of the first songs I played," he said, dipping his head in the direction the song was coming from. "And I remember you saying how much you loved it."

"Okay, good point," she confessed. "And, speaking of music, you said a few weeks ago that we should find a song."

"I knew there was something I wanted to talk to you about," he remembered.

"So what do you think it should be?" Clare asked.

"Well . . . I've listened to a few of my CDs and I've only heard one that really suits us."

"And what song is that?" she wondered with curiosity.

"This one," he answered.

Clare grinned.

"I was thinking the same thing."

"Honestly?" he asked in amazement.

"I think it fits us like a glove . . . and the lyrics _'No dust will ever grow on this frame. One million years and I will say your name'_ describe our feelings for each other perfectly."

"I couldn't agree more. So . . . I guess 'The Mortician's Daughter' is officially our song," he proclaimed.

Clare smiled in agreement before she unraveled her arms from his body and locked her hands behind his neck.

"I can't believe it's been a year and two months," she said to him.

"And are you still happy?"

"I don't remember being happier."

Eli smiled at her as he held her closer.

"We've been through a lot together, haven't we? Good and bad."

"Yeah," Clare nodded. "But, despite all the hard stuff, we still love each other."

"And everything we've been through has only made us stronger and brought us closer together," he mentioned.

Clare smiled at him before she put her lips closer to his. She was about to meet his mouth when she whispered, "Happy anniversary."

Eli felt her tongue against his mouth as it begged for entrance. He opened his and let her go around. After a few minutes of erotic kissing, Clare leaned out of the embrace.

"Um . . . I'll be right back," she told him. "Make yourself at home."

She picked up her now silent phone before she went upstairs as Eli sat down on the couch; before she did so, however, she quietly locked the front door. She left Eli to sit there alone in the complete silence for a few minutes. He sat in the living room and just looked around it while he waited patiently for Clare to come back downstairs.

"Eli, can you come up here for a second please?" she suddenly called.

"Everything okay?" he asked as he walked towards the stairs.

"Yeah, I just need you to come up here."

Unsure of what could be going on, he went up onto the next floor of the house.

"Where are you?" he said, raising his voice a little.

"First door on the right," she replied.

He looked in that direction and saw that door already open. It was dimly lit by a small lamp on the side table by a bed. He slowly made his way inside. He could tell it was Clare's room almost immediately when he saw a picture of them from her sixteenth birthday last year. He looked around the room but couldn't see Clare anywhere.

Then, out of nowhere, he heard a door close behind him. He quickly turned around and saw Clare leaning against the now closed door that separated them from the rest of the house. He gaped at her when he saw that she was wearing a red robe and, judging by the clothes resting over her desk chair, she didn't have any clothing on underneath it.

She took a few steps towards him. She grabbed his hand before leading him towards her bed. When they were standing by the end of it, Clare turned to Eli and put her hands on the collar of his jacket. She then smashed her lips to his and kissed him like she never kissed before. She traced the inside of his mouth with her tongue as he returned the kiss.

This was the time and Clare could feel it.

She moved her hands to the cuffs of his jacket and began to pull it off him. It soon fell to the ground and was forgotten by the two teenagers, who continued to focus on nothing but each other. Clare then removed her mouth from his, cupped the back of his neck with one of her hands, and held the front of his belt with the other.

She soon attacked his neck with her mouth. Eli had never seen this side of her before and, if he had to be truthful, he was just as enthused about it as he was surprised.

"Clare, what's going on here?" he exhaled as she moved her lips to his jaw.

"You're the one for me, Eli," she breathed. "I want this to happen."

"And –," he tried to say, but Clare's lips traveled onto his again before he could get out all the words. He felt her undo his belt and eventually slide it off the waistline of his jeans. Once the belt was disregarded, Clare cradled this neck in her hands before pulling away.

She looked at him and, to her surprise, he seemed eager yet flustered.

"And w-what is happening here exactly?" he was finally able to ask as he tried to recover from the heat of the moment.

Clare interlaced Eli's hands with her own before looking directly into his green eyes. He couldn't feel her purity ring against his skin although he saw her wearing it a few minutes before.

"I want you to make love to me," she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. "In this room . . . on this night . . . right now."

Eli couldn't believe his ears; for so long he wanted to hear her say those words, but he never wanted to pressure her into doing anything. Tonight, however, she was giving him permission to take her virginity.

"Clare . . ." he said, trying not to grin. "Are you serious?"

"We've been together a whole year. I think it's time we take our relationship to the next level."

"But what about your promise to wait until marriage?" he reminded her.

"I'm in love with you . . . I don't want to wait," she said before kissing him again. He kissed her back willfully before he released her hands and placed his on her hips. While he held her, Clare grabbed the bottom of his shirt and slowly began sliding it up his body.

"You're sure about this?" he made sure as he leaned out of the kiss so she could remove the shirt completely from his torso.

"Definitely," she replied after throwing the shirt to the side and before wrapping one of her arms around his waist while she smoothed her other hand up and down the center of his chest. She marveled at his bare torso. She felt her cheeks turn a light shade of red as she gazed at him. She didn't know how much time had passed as she stood there, but a voice called out of her thoughts.

"Clare?" he breathed, enjoying the sensation of her warm hand journeying over him.

She stopped gazing at him and looked at his eyes; she felt her cheeks turn a deeper shade of crimson.

"Sorry," she said. "You're just . . ."

She trailed off before kissing his neck once again. It wasn't long until she desired more than the two of them merely standing in her room kissing and hold each other. She wanted them to make love as soon as possible. She hoped that Eli would get that message as she gently bit into his neck.

He gasped pleasantly as she kissed the part of his neck that she sunk her teeth into for a second ago. He was getting aroused now, but he didn't want to do this if Clare wasn't ready. If this wasn't what Clare wanted, then it wasn't what he wanted. He told her on numerous occasions that sex didn't matter to him and he meant it.

"You know I don't mind waiting," he reassured her, his hands still on her covered hips.

"You've waited long enough," she told him before kissing his mouth again.

"But if you don't want to –," he attempted to say.

"Eli," she said, ending the kiss, but keeping her lips in close proximity to his, "if you don't want to have sex with me –."

"No, I do," he said immediately, not wanting miss the opportunity if she was absolutely positive about it.

"Then why are you stalling?"

"I just want you to know that you don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Clare smiled at his consideration and took a step closer to him before enclosing his body in her arms.

"I want to . . . I've been wanting to for some time now," she admitted. "I've been on the pill since September and . . . now just seems like the perfect night."

Eli smiled at Clare. Had she really been waiting for this moment for five months? Was she really that prepared?

As though she read his mind, Clare put her lips close to his ear.

"We love each other and I want us to do this . . . and I know you do too," she whispered. Her voice made him want to melt as she spoke the undeniable truth.

Now that he was reassured that she was completely certain about them going to sleep together, he felt excitement and adrenaline surge through his system. He was going to be the first person to ever do certain things to Clare and he felt honored that she was allowing him to do it. Keeping this in mind, he took her face in his hands and crushed his lips to hers, his heart beating faster and faster as the kissed deepened.

Elation and a few nerves going through her, Clare hooked her fingers around his belt-loops. She pulled him onto the bed and she lied down on it with him on top of her. Eli's lips soon abandoned her own and went to her neck.

Clare moaned in surprise and shuddered as someone kissed her neck for the first time. If she was this dazzled by a simple kiss on that part of her body, how was she going to feel once everything got more intense? The thrills and nerves went into overdrive when she felt Eli's hand slide from her face, to her neck, and she inhaled sharply as he put a hand on her covered breast for the first time.

"Do you like this?" he asked as he continued to kiss her neck.

"Yes," she breathed honestly. "But . . ."

Hearing that word, Eli lifted his head to look at her and moved his hand back to her face. He looked her eyes and saw a bit of worry. He continuously smoothed his thumbs over each of her cheeks in comfort.

"If you want us to do this some other time –," he began to reassure once again.

"No, I'm fine," she protested. "I'm just . . ."

She trailed off, too embarrassed to continue. She took a breath and looked at Eli's eyes and prepared to tell him what was on her mind. As she planned it out in her head, however, the more juvenile she thought it she sounded.

"Never mind," she said.

Clare then put her lips back to Eli's, but before the kiss got too heavy, he pulled away. He was sure there was something distressing plaguing Clare's thoughts and he wanted to relieve that from her before they began anything. He continued to cradle her face in his hands as he looked her directly in the eye.

"Babe, what's wrong?" he asked her tenderly.

"Nothing," she said, but he knew she was lying.

"Clare," he said softly, his eyes looking straight into hers. He was a bit worried to see the mild anguish in her eyes. "I don't want you to have something bothering you during our first time. I want this to be special, so if you want to talk to me to get some things off your mind, you can."

She took a breath before sucking on her bottom lip in thought. After a minute of trying to relax and reconstruct her thoughts, she looked at him again.

"I'm going to sound immature," she warned him.

Eli shook his head at her before planting a kiss on her forehead.

"I doubt that, but even if you think you will, you can say it. You know you don't have to be worried about telling me anything."

Clare took one final breath before looking straight into his eyes and telling him what was going on in her head.

"I really, _really_ want us to do this, but I'm just as nervous as I am excited," she began. "I mean . . . I've never seen a naked guy before so I'm just a bit nervous about that. And . . . no guy has ever seen _me_ naked, so I'm worried about what you'll think. Plus I don't want you to be disappointed, but I have little to no idea what I should do. I want us to have sex, but I want you to enjoy it and I don't think that could happen since I'm _so_ inexperienced."

Eli sat there and listened to every word she said. By the time she was done, she was surprised to see him smirking. She began to feel more humiliated as he looked at her. She felt her face began to flush deep red. Not wanting Eli to see her so embarrassed on this night, she put her hands over her face and tried to turn on her side, but she couldn't completely with her boyfriend right on top of her.

Eli gently grabbed her wrists, pulled them away from her face, and pinned each of them to the mattress so she wouldn't make another attempt to cover herself again. Her face was red and she kept her eyes were closed tight since she felt so awkward about what she just told him. He leaned his lips onto hers in comfort.

"It's okay," he consoled her as he lifted his lips.

Her face returned to its normal shade before she decided to open her eyes to look at Eli again.

"I shouldn't have told you that," she said in a hoarse whisper.

"It's me; it's just Eli. You know you can tell me anything."

"I sounded childish."

"No, you didn't," he reassured her.

"Then why are you smiling?"

"Because you care about me so much," he answered before giving her a light kiss on the cheek. "Listen, it doesn't matter to me if you're inexperienced or not. This night is special enough as it is. We celebrated our anniversary, we danced together, we chose our song, and now we're doing _this_. I'm happy right here just being with you. There's no way this night could go bad for me."

"Not even if I totally suck at it?" she asked timidly.

"You won't."

"How do you know?"

"I just have a feeling."

"But if I do?"

He smiled at her before he released the hands that he still held against the mattress and gently slid some hair behind her ears.

"It's going to take more than a bad first time for me to stop being in love with you."

She smiled at him warmly and he saw her eyes calm down a little, but he wanted to address the other issues first.

"And I know you're nervous. A lot of people are on their first time."

"Were you?"

"Definitely," he nodded. "So if there's anything you want me to do to make you relax, just tell me."

"I will," she said.

"Is there anything I can do to ease your nerves?"

He watched Clare as she roamed her brain to try and figure out how she could ask one question.

"I . . . I heard the first time is kind of painful. Is that true?"

She saw a flash of regret in Eli's eyes for a second. He comfortingly cupped the side of her neck as his thumb brushed against her jaw.

"For some it hurts and for others it's just uncomfortable at first, but I promise that it gets better," he informed her.

As she bit her lip nervously, Eli looked at her, comfort and a bit of remorse in his eyes. He didn't want to cause any kind of pain or discomfort to his girlfriend, but he knew he was going to if this night was going to happen.

Seeing his eyes, Clare put one of her hands on his chest. He took in the feeling of her soft hand on him and he felt himself wanting her more and more.

"I trust you, Eli," she told him. "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked her once again. She nodded.

"Please just . . . try to be gentle, okay?"

"I will," he promised.

"And can we . . . take this slow? Take it one step at a time?" she asked hopefully.

"We can," he accepted. "Where do you want to start?"

"Here would be good," she said before placing her mouth to his.

He deepened the kiss and she allowed his tongue to enter. They remained in this position for a few minutes and they only separated for a second to get some air in their lungs before continuing their heavy kisses. Clare eventually pulled her lips away and looked at him. She smiled at Eli, who gave her his own affectionate grin in return.

"Let me know when you want to go further," he told her gently. "And if you ever want to stop, tell me."

"Okay," she sighed as he ran a hand through her hair. "What happens after this?"

"I was thinking something around these lines . . ."

He gently kissed her cheek then traveled down to her neck. Clare shivered pleasingly as he cared for her skin with his lips. She put her hand on the back of his head and held his hair as a way to encourage him to kiss her somewhere else on this part of her person. He got the message and ventured all the way up to her ear.

While he soothed her with his magical lips, Clare felt her bundle of nerves begin to unwind. She loved how tender he was being with her and how loving he was being about this situation. He was being patient and he was respecting her decision for them to go slow tonight just so she could be happy.

This sent one message to Clare and one message only: Eli was in love with her, and she was in love with him. That was all that mattered to her now.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear before he continued to tend to it.

The chills returned to Clare as she felt his hot breath tickle the skin of her ear. He told her those three words hundreds of times, but now they meant so much more to her. Now that they were here, she understood now more than ever that what they had wasn't just a high school romance. If this was, she knew she wouldn't be ready to give herself to the boy kissing her ear right now.

"I love you too," she breathed, feeling her heart rate increase.

Eli smiled at these words before nibbling on her ear. He waited for her to protest, but she never did. Instead, she inhaled happily. He was so pleased that this was about to happen and they both wanted it. He was willing to go slow because he was content kissing her like he was and he didn't want this to go sour in anyway.

"Can you kiss my neck again?" she asked airily some time later.

Grinning at her request, Eli leaned away to look at her. He gave her a peck on the lips before fulfilling her wish to tend to her neck.

"Like this?" he asked.

"Love this," she replied breathlessly.

Her heart wasn't slowing down the slightest . . . and she didn't mind. Her skin crawled with pleasure as something clicked in her brain.

"Eli . . . take this robe off me," she entreated of him, a bit a surprised she said it so bluntly.

Eli abandoned her neck again and looked at her.

"You're sure?" he asked cautiously.

Clare nodded. She closed her eyes after that and waited for the red material to be removed from her by the clutches of her boyfriend. She felt Eli's hands go to the fabric that kept the dressing gown closed. She took a few breaths and prepared for her to be seen by him as he undid the knot in the front.

The air soon became introduced to her body. Eli took his time removing the article of clothing from her body completely so he could stop if she wished and so she didn't feel uncomfortable. She felt him slowly open the gown and she lied there, hoping he wouldn't have anything bad to say about her body.

As her thoughts and nerves raced, Eli removed the rest of the clothing from her and let it go to the floor.

Eli didn't say a word, but she felt his eyes scanning her body. After he didn't speak for a while, Clare became nervous. Suddenly, she felt his hands on her hips and his lips on her sternum.

She inhaled sharply and joyfully. Eli soon moved his lips from her chest all the way down to her stomach. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable or make her feel pressure by going to her breasts or going below the waist just yet, so he didn't go any lower than the skin above her navel.

"Eli?" she asked, waiting for him to speak as her eyes remained shut.

She soon felt her bare chest against his own and her breathing began to speed up faster than before. His lips soon became reacquainted with hers again. They cherished the kiss for seconds until Eli pulled away.

"Clare," he whispered to her.

She opened her eyes and saw his staring right into hers.

"You're gorgeous," he told her.

Her face went redder than ever. She smiled at him affectionately and caressed his cheek with her thumb.

"No one has ever said that to me."

"Shame on them. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"I don't mind," she said. "I'm glad you're telling me now."

She then wrapped her arms around his chest, holding him against her. She smothered his lips. They moaned blissfully against the kisses they were having now. She felt his hands glide up and down her sides. She shivered as his mouth cared for hers and his hands traveled on her skin.

While the magic of the kisses and touches happened, Clare finally felt her nerves vanish. The time, the moment she had been waiting for since they confessed their love for each other, had finally come.

"Eli," she whispered while she separated her mouth from his. "I'm ready. Take me."

And take her he did . . .

()()

Time passed and it consisted of pure passion, ecstasy, and bliss. They didn't keep track of how many rounds they went or how long each lasted. What mattered to them right now was the fact that they were in love and they displayed it to each other in a physically passionate fashion.

They were now lying on their sides under the covers, holding each other in their arms as they kissed lovingly. Clare tried to get over the rush she just had with the love of her life, but part of her wanted to hold on to it. She couldn't believe she had just lost her virginity to this amazing guy who was holding her body by his.

Their lips separated and they looked at each other. He grinned at her and she grinned back as she stared into his green eyes. They took a couple of breaths while Eli curled his arm around her waist while she put her hand on his abs.

"Are you sure this was your first time?" he asked, his breathing returning to normal.

"Positive," she nodded with a bashful smile. "I know it probably would've been better if I was more experienced, but –."

"Clare," he told her before smoothing some astray hairs out of her eyes. "It was perfect."

"Are you just saying that?" she asked nervously.

Eli shook his head before kissing her lips for the thousandth time that night.

"Thank you," he exhaled once the kiss ended.

"For what?" she questioned curiously.

"Letting me be your first."

Clare gave him a loving smile before she removed her hand from his stomach so she could hug his waist.

"I wouldn't want anyone else to be my first," she admitted while they continued to rest their heads on her pillows.

"And Clare," Eli said. "You may not have been my first, but I want you to be my last."

Clare's heart began to beat inside her rapidly and she grinned at him.

"I'll be your last if you'll be my first, last, and only," Clare compromised.

"Miss Edwards, I may just have to take you up on that offer," he whispered in her ear.

She grinned before kissing him again.

"I'm in love with you," she told him.

"I'm in love with you too," he replied, caressing her waist.

She scooted closer to him so there was no space existed between them. She slowly connected her lips with his neck for a second before moving them back up to his mouth. No matter how many times they kissed, it never got old or felt different.

They soon concluded the kiss, but they held on to each other tightly, cherishing the moment. Eli loved the feeling of Clare's body against him and knowing that she was comfortable with it made it all the more amazing.

"This has definitely been one of the best nights I've ever had," he told her.

"Me too," she replied, loosening herself from his grasp so she could look at him.

Eli then turned over to look at the clock on the bedside table and saw that it was three in the morning. He didn't want to leave Clare, especially during this moment, but it was late. He knew his parents wouldn't mind him being out so late since they were aware that he was at the concert with Clare. What he was concerned about was if Clare was comfortable with him staying with her the entire night. He didn't want to leave her, but he also didn't want to impose or make her feel uncomfortable with the idea of them sleeping in the same bed.

Clare, as though she was reading his mind, moved closer to him. She wrapped her arm around his chest, rested her chin on his shoulder, and put her cheek against his.

"Baby, I don't want you to leave," she said in a soft, yet almost pleading voice. "Will you spend the night with me?"

Eli turned his head to look at her. He saw her reassuring eyes and he automatically felt all hesitation to stay disappear. Smiling, he chastely kissed her.

"I'd love to."

Beaming at him, Clare pulled herself away from him so he could turn back over to face her completely. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She snuggled her head against his chest as she rested her arm around his waist.

"You're so warm," he sighed as he felt the skin of her back under his hand.

"You are too."

While she lied in her bed in Eli's arms, she felt safe, secure, and happy. This was all she needed and she never wanted to let it go. She just wanted to stay there with Eli for the rest of her life and she would've been completely satisfied.

"Does this feel as right to you as it does to me?" she then asked.

"Definitely," he nodded.

"I wish you could stay here with me forever."

Eli then held her tighter. He wasn't sure if she meant him staying here with her bed or being with her in general. Either way, he was going to remain with her until she wanted him to leave.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised her, acknowledging both sides.

At those words, Clare grinned before giving him a passionate kiss on the lips.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Clare. I love you."

"I love you too, Elijah," she reciprocated before they both fell into a peaceful sleep in each other's arms.

* * *

"_No one can move me_

_The way that you do_

_Nothing erases this feeling_

_Between me and you"_

_~"I Drove All Night" by Celine Dion_

* * *

I don't own the Black Veil Brides, but you should look up their song "The Mortician's Daughter" for two reasons. One, I'll mention it a few more times in this story since it's their song in this fic. Two, it is one of the most beautiful songs ever. I know I probably should have warned you guys that there was some light smut, but that would've given the rest of the chapter away so . . . REVIEWS!


	46. Drive Away

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Firstly, THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS! I'm SOOOOO happy you guys loved the last chapter. Secondly, I'd like to apologize once again for my grammatical errors. I've been rereading a few of my recent chapters and I noticed some mistakes that could've been avoided, but I didn't catch them when I revised and I published the chapter. I'm a total grammar nerd, so I feel bad about that. I apologize again for that if it happens again.

Fluff chapter! Possibly the cheesiest thing I've ever written, but I don't care! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . and I think I'm somewhat okay with that.

* * *

Chapter Forty-Six

Drive Away

Clare lifted her heavy eyelids the next morning and saw that her head was on someone's warm chest. She remembered last night immediately and grinned widely at the memory. Eli made love to her and it was incredible. She then took recognition to the hand that was on the middle of her back and the body that was underneath her arm. She kept the smile on her face as she unattached herself from his bare chest so she could look at his face.

She rested her head on her pillow as she faced her lover. She saw that he was already awake and that his green eyes were watching her while glistening with sheer happiness. He grinned when he saw her beaming at him with just as much joy in her eyes.

Clare didn't know what she could say; everything she thought was a grand understatement of how she was really feeling and she didn't want to present anything less than her true emotions. Deciding to show her feelings in a physical manner, she put her hand on his upper arm before kissing his mouth.

Eli returned the endearing action with all the passion he had for her. They stayed in the moment for a minute when they pulled away and grinned at each other.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked.

"Five minutes," he replied, smoothing his thumb over her shoulder blade. "So . . . any regrets about last night?"

"Nope," Clare answered honestly while she slid her hand from his arm to his chest. "You?"

"None whatsoever."

Clare was reassured and moved closer to him so their bodies touched.

"What do you plan on doing today?" she asked.

"Well, I'm thinking of going home to get showered and changed, then I'll come back here, pick you up, and we can go get some breakfast at the Dot then spend the day together."

She smiled in approval of this idea before giving him a peck on the lips.

"Don't leave me waiting too long," she warned him playfully.

"I don't intend to."

He unraveled his arm from around her and put that hand to her side of her face. He kissed her lips again, wishing they could remain this way forever. While their lips danced, he slid his hand from her face, to her neck, and to her shoulder. She moaned pleasantly against his mouth as she felt his skin on hers.

They were becoming absorbed within the feeling of pure passion when Eli's phone started to ring. He let out a breath in frustration as they leaned out of the kiss. He pulled his hands away from Clare and reached over the side of the bed to grab his jeans. He dug the phone out of his pocket and saw that his mother was calling him.

"Hey, CeCe," he greeted her, trying to not sound frustrated as he lied back down on the mattress. Clare laid her head on the front of his shoulder and put her hand on his diaphragm. Eli listened to his mother while he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Hey. How was the concert?"

"It was great," he answered; he actually forgot about the concert until CeCe brought it up because he was so distracted by the fact that he and Clare shared a night of intimacy and that they were waking up side-by-side.

"Did you and Clare have fun?"

"Yeah," he said. "It was crazy awesome."

"Great. So where are you? Did you ever come home?"

Eli glance down at Clare before thinking of the most convincing lie possible, knowing that she wouldn't want him revealing what really happened between them last night.

"No, we didn't get back till late last night so Clare let me crash on her couch."

"Are you there now?"

"Yeah," he answered, smoothing his hand over Clare's upper arm.

"Alright," CeCe replied. "Just making sure you're okay. Your dad and I are at the station, so we won't be home till late."

"Okay, I'll see you guys then."

"Bye."

"Bye," he said before closing phone and putting it to the side. He met Clare's eyes again. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine. Thanks for not saying anything."

Eli simply kissed her temple as if to say, "you're welcome".

"Were you planning on saying anything to your parents or Adam?" she asked.

"Probably not," he answered honestly.

"Good, because I want to keep our first time between us for as long as possible so . . . can we keep this our secret?"

"My lips," Eli began to agree before giving her another quick kiss, "are sealed."

Eli sat up, preparing himself to climb out of the bed when Clare also sat up, the sheet secured around her body. She put her hand on his shoulder and he stopped moving.

"Can you stay for five more minutes?" she asked with a small pout.

"I'll be back in half an hour," he reminded her.

Deciding to use a different method of convincing, Clare planted her lips to his neck.

"It's just five more minutes," she whispered against his skin. "Please . . ."

Eli enjoyed the sensation of her lips on him and the sound of her pleading voice.

"Please," she repeated. "Please . . ."

He felt her move the kiss from his neck to behind his ear and he surrendered.

"I guess five minutes won't hurt," he concluded.

She smiled before they lied back down on the mattress. She laid her head on his chest while he coiled an arm around her shoulders.

"So, four months ago we said forever. Are will still holding on to that?" he asked hopefully.

"Read my lips," Clare said.

She then put her lips on his for the fifth time in the last five minutes.

"If I wasn't willing to stay with you forever, I wouldn't have given myself to you," she revealed to him as she took her lips away from his.

Eli gave her a loving lopsided smile before wrapping his other arm around her.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too."

After five minutes of lying there in a pleasant silence, Eli gave Clare a kiss on the bridge of her nose.

"I'll be back no later than ten-thirty," he said to her.

"Promise?" she asked.

"I promise," he said before she kissed his lips once again.

Eli climbed off the mattress and Clare watched him as he put on his clothes from last night. She watched his body while he covered it up and she couldn't help but feel disappointed that he left the bed at all, let alone clothed himself.

"Baby," she spoke.

He looked up from tying his shoe and saw her sitting up in the bed again with the sheet still resting around her torso.

"Thanks for staying with me last night. And for _being _with me," she added.

"Anytime," he said, the happiness in his eyes never fading. "I'll be back soon."

"You better," she teased.

"Oh I will," he promised with a jubilant grin.

He kept his eyes on her and took his time leaving the room. She could help but chuckle as he slowly walked backwards, eventually running his back into the door, then delaying the time it took him leave the room.

Clare lied down once Eli shut the door and listened as his footsteps echoed down the stairs. Once she heard the front door close, she knew he was gone . . . for now.

She turned to her clock and saw that it was a minute after ten. She knew that the sooner she got up, the sooner she would see Eli again. She got out of bed and got in the shower. A few minutes later, she was drying her hair before changing into the t-shirt she got at the concert last night and a pair of jeans and applying a small amount of makeup. While she did all this, all she thought about was her and Eli's night together.

Clare was done getting ready by twenty minutes after ten. Too anxious to wait inside her house for another ten minutes, she grabbed her keys, phone, and wallet before sitting outside the house on the front step. She watched the street carefully for any signs of Morty. Five minutes later, the black hearse was coming down her street.

Seeing him coming, Clare jumped up and walked down the path so she could climb in once he stopped. She noticed his classic grin on the other side of the windshield before he slowed the car down until came to a complete pause. She climbed into the car and they chuckled in amusement at the fact that they were both wearing the same kind of t-shirt that they both got at the concert the night before. The only difference was that Eli wore his black jacket and Clare was wearing her denim one.

"Told you I'd be here in half an hour," he jested.

"I never doubted you," she replied before they met their lips for a welcoming kiss.

Their lips brushed each other's for a few seconds before they separated and exchanged sentimental stares.

"Want to know a secret?" he asked.

"Sure," she replied.

"I'm never going to get tired of kissing you."

She felt some blood go to her cheeks at these words.

"I feel the same way about kissing you."

()()

They went by the Dot and ate their breakfast, talking and smiling all the while. They sat side-by-side and enjoyed themselves until their plates were completely empty. Clare offered constantly to pay for hers, but Eli insisted.

"I wouldn't mind paying for my own," she informed him.

"You gave me probably the best night ever. It's the least I could do," he told her as he hooked his arm around her shoulders.

They then decided to drive to the abandoned church and just spend the day together. They were now sitting on Morty's hood; she was sitting between his legs as he held her against his chest. Their smiles rarely faded as cuddled.

"Have I ever mentioned that I love you?" he asked sweetly.

"A few thousand times," she acknowledged.

"Just making sure," he said as he pulled her closer to him.

"And I'm certain that I've said something about loving you a few times in the past."

"Only a million times a day," he replied.

They then sat there in a loving silence for a moment. They watched the weak rays of the February sun go through the leafless branches of the trees. It was warmer than usual for February, but it was still slightly cold . . . not that the couple minded. Eli was fine in his jacket and Clare was perfectly warm in his arms and her denim jacket.

"It's nice out here today," she observed.

"Yeah," he agreed. "And what better way to spend it than with the people you love?"

"There isn't one."

Eli kissed her head in response.

"Just out of curiosity, was last night a onetime thing?" he wondered out loud.

"Do you want it to be?"

"I'm asking you."

"Well now _I'm_ asking you," she retorted with a smile.

"I just want you to be happy."

"And I want you to be happy," she rearranged.

Eli leaned his head back and sighed.

"You are impossible, Edwards."

"Takes one to know one . . . Fluffy," she added, knowing it would irritate him.

He playfully rolled his eyes. Although she gave him that nickname months ago, she stilled called him it on occasion. However, since she still called him that, he had the right to call her by a nickname she wasn't thrilled with either.

"I guess so, _Piglet_."

She knew Eli was getting his own little revenge on her for calling him Fluffy again, but she blushed nonetheless.

"Why did I ever tell you that name?" she groaned.

"You had to. Remember, we asked each other questions and I asked you for a nickname you have?"

"Will you ever stop calling me it?"

"Only time will tell," he smirked.

"Then it's only fair that I call you Fluffy."

Eli sighed in defeat.

"Alright, truce," he said. "It's just kind of weird that you gave me it because of a stupid mustache."

Clare recalled the memory of that time not so long ago that he grew a mustache and she teased him about it constantly.

"Has Adam dared you to do anything like that again?" she asked.

To this day, Eli had not told Clare that he only grew that mustache in the first place because Adam wanted to him to prove that he wasn't getting any feelings for Kate. Not really concerning himself with it after that day, he forgot all about it and didn't say anything. However, he decided to keep their promise about them about always being honest with each other, so he took a breath and started to tell the truth.

"Confession time," he began. "He never actually dared me. He thought I was getting feelings for Kate, which I wasn't, and he wanted me to prove that by growing a mustache."

"You did that just to prove it to Adam?" she repeated in amazement.

"Yeah. Kinda weird, I know."

"I think it's actually kind of sweet in a weird way. But that was one of the things you said you'd never do."

Eli shrugged.

"Love makes you do crazy things . . . like some of the things you did last night," he said with his lopsided smile.

"Shut up," she said with an embarrassed laugh.

"You never answered my question," he reminded. "Was last night a onetime thing?"

Clare sat there for a second and thought about it. If she had to be honest, the night before was incredible and she wanted to relive it.

"If it was a onetime thing, it's okay," Eli said hurriedly, not wanting her to feel pressured. "I'll still love you and I'm not going to be one of those boyfriends who will leave because of it."

"I know," she told him before lacing her fingers through his and turning her head to look at him. "But I don't want it to be a onetime thing. Do you?"

"Honestly, no," he finally responded with a smile. "But if there's any time you want us to stop or if you don't want us to be that way, let me know and –."

"Eli," she interrupted. "Shut up and kiss me."

He obeyed and they remained in that position for several seconds. They eventually disconnected their lips and grinned at each other.

"Forever?" he asked hopefully.

"Definitely," she agreed before molding her mouth to his again.

()()

They spent the rest of their day at the abandoned church except for when they went to the Dot for lunch. They talked, cuddled, kissed, and basically spent all the time humanly possible in each other's company. By six o'clock, the sky was getting dark, but Clare didn't want to leave Eli. She told him this and he suggested that they go to see a movie at the drive-in.

"I thought you didn't like drive-ins," she recalled as they drove down the road.

"Well, if I have to be honest, I don't really intend on watching the whole movie," he told her flirtatiously.

"Good, because I don't plan on it either," she replied with a simper. "And, since my parents won't be home till tomorrow afternoon, do you want to spend the night again?"

Eli glanced at her and grinned before averting his eyes back to the road.

"I would love to," he replied.

By six-fifteen at night, Clare and Eli were sitting on Morty's hood as they watched the movie. His arm was around her shoulders as she hugged his waist. He felt her lay her head on his shoulder and he turned his head to look at her, the movie no longer grasping his attention. She could feel his eyes watching her, so she turned her head to look back at him.

"What do you think of the movie so far?" she asked.

"I'm not really paying attention," he admitted.

"Neither am I," she replied.

He gently put his lips to hers and she reciprocated the kiss he was giving her. She couldn't believe that not long ago, she almost let go this boy. All because of Kate, these moments she had with Eli could've become distant memories and nothing more. She was thankful that he was able to gain her trust back and that they were able to continue on with their lives.

She removed her lips.

"Are you okay?" he asked, noticing her distracted demeanor.

She let out a low breath before answering.

"I just can't believe Kate almost broke us apart."

"Who is this Kate that you speak of?" Eli asked, not wanting any thoughts of that girl to ruin the moment.

Clare grinned at him with appreciation before putting her hands on his shoulders and gently pushing him down until he was lying on the hood as he locked his hands behind her back.

"Have you realized that we've spent almost twenty-four hours together?"

"And I've loved every second of it," he revealed to her.

They then pulled their lips together and kissed passionately.

"Um . . ." he murmured against her lips. "You know . . . there's a lot of room in Morty . . . and since this last night wasn't a onetime thing . . . we could always . . . you know . . ."

Clare continued to fight his lips as she mused over his proposal. He waited patiently for her to answer, but he purposely slid his hands onto the small of her back to encourage the idea. Chills soared through her at his touch.

She smiled against his lips when the goose bumps disappeared and soon leaned out of the kiss before climbing off the hood. She grabbed one of Eli's hands, led him off the car, and pulled him all the way to the back of the hearse.

They climbed into the back and Clare immediately pulled him down on top of her. They began an amorous make-out session while she pulled off his jacket. As their lips battled, Clare found the bottom of his shirt and began to pull it off him. The kiss broke for a matter of seconds until Eli was half naked then it started up again.

"Have I ever told you how sexy you are?" Clare asked as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She then smoothed her hand down his chest before she took the base of his throat in her mouth. Eli never answered her question since he was too busy enjoying her touch and breathing deeply when her lips attacked his skin.

When Clare saw that Eli was too distracted to answer, she moved the kiss from his neck back up to his lips.

"You are really, really, _really_ sexy," she told him while they continued the steamy kisses.

Eli gently rubbed each of her thighs as he took gentle bites of her bottom lip before pushing his tongue into her mouth. He then slid his hands from her thighs to the button of her jeans.

"Do you trust me?" he asked her as he grazed his lips on her jaw.

"Yes," she exhaled.

Eli continued to fondle his lips on her jawbone and then her neck as he slowly slid the button through the slit of her jeans. She breathed in while he sucked on her neck and pulled her zipper down.

He was about to pull everything on her lower body off when her phone started ringing throughout the hearse.

"Are you serious?" she groaned and Eli stopped tending to her neck. Since his hand was so close to her pocket, he reached into it and pulled her phone out for her and looked at the caller ID.

"It's your mom," he informed her before transferring the phone to her hand.

"Of all the times for her to call," Clare complained in frustration before opening the phone. "Hi, Mom."

"Hey sweetheart," Helen replied.

"What's up?" she asked as Eli slid one of his hands under her shirt. His touch made her squirm pleasantly and she glared at him playfully for doing so, especially while she was talking to her mother. As he hand ventured over her stomach, a portion of her skin was exposed.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'll be home soon."

"R-Really?" she stammered as Eli traced her navel with his index finger. She tried to keep her voice casual, but his touch made her want to shudder with pleasure. "I thought you weren't coming home till tomorrow."

"I decided to come home a day early. I'll be there in fifteen minutes or so, okay?"

"Alright," she agreed, trying not to gasp as Eli put his lips on her stomach. "I'll see you then."

"Bye."

Clare then closed her phone before grabbing a handful of Eli's hair and pulling his head up.

"I never knew you were _that _horny," she chortled.

"Sorry, couldn't resist," he said honestly. "What was that about?"

"My mother has the worst timing," she said with disappointment in her voice. "She's fifteen minutes away from Toronto."

"Then we should make this fast."

He fingered the hemline of her shirt and began moving it up so her entire stomach was showing. He put his mouth to her abdomen and kissed it repeatedly. She felt his hands go back down to her pants when decided to speak.

"Wait, Eli," she began. He lifted his head up to look at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She sighed regretfully before lifting her head up to look at his eyes.

"I love you, I love what we did last night, and I want us to do that again, but . . . I'm not ready for us to do things . . . you know . . . _that_ fast. You know? We just got part of our relationship started and . . . I don't want the moments we make love to be quick; I want them to last."

Eli wanted nothing more than to pleasure the love of his life, but he also understood why she didn't want them to be fast. Her happiness outweighed his desires and he nodded in comprehension.

"Okay, I can respect that," he accepted as he sat up and closed her jeans.

"Sorry," she told him honestly while he pulled her shirt back over her skin. "And I guess this means our plans for you to stay over again tonight aren't going to happen."

"It's fine," he reassured as he hovered over her body to put his forehead against her. "Just promise me that we'll continue this someday soon."

Clare felt her face go red while she smiled.

"Someday _very_ soon," she agreed. "Thanks for understanding."

"No problem. I'm just happy that I'm yours."

"And you always will be."

()()

"You don't have to walk me to the door if you don't want to," she informed him ten minutes later as they walked towards her home after climbing out of the hearse.

"I know I don't _have_ to. I just want to spend every moment possible with you."

She smiled at his devotion until they were at her front door.

"I'll call you when I get home from church tomorrow," she promised.

"I'll be waiting by my phone."

She grinned at him before taking his hands.

"I've had a great time with you the last two days," she said to Eli.

"Me too," he replied. "And the days before, and the days before that, and the days before that."

Clare smiled again and Eli returned it before kissing her.

"I love you," she whispered as he pulled away but kept his face by hers.

"I love you too, sweetheart," he replied. She smiled at another nickname he'd given her.

"I wish you didn't have to go."

"I wish I didn't have to leave. But I will see you at Degrassi on Monday."

"Too long," she said.

"It'll be here before you know it," he promised her. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

With a final kiss on the cheek, Eli let go of Clare's hands and began to walk back to Morty, looking over his shoulder as he did.

"Wait," she said when he was halfway down the path. He stopped and turned around to see Clare sprinting towards him. She then threw her arms around his neck as he captured her around the waist. They took each other's lips in for a kiss for the final time that evening.

They remained that way until they ran out of oxygen. They concluded the kiss and took in some breaths as they smiled at each other.

"I'll see you Monday," he said.

"See you then," she replied before reluctantly letting go of each other.

Clare stood there and watched him as he climbed into the car and drove down the street. She was starting to miss his company as she walked into her house. When she entered her room a few seconds later, she recalled everything they did over the last two days. She was definitely head-over-heels in love with Eli and she was never going to let him go if she could avoid it. Now all she wanted was for Monday to arrive so she could see him again.

* * *

"_I've got the time_

_I've got the place_

_I've got this love for you_

_At this moment, don't you feel it baby?"_

_~"Drive Away" by Orianthi_

* * *

I must thank my friend and her boyfriend (I call them the lovebirds) for giving me inspiration to finish this chapter; without their mushiness, I probably wouldn't have finished this chapter by now. Thanks amigos!

Please submit some kind of feedback just so I know you guys are still reading! PLEASE!


	47. Love Story

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for the reviews; they are all so kind and some of them just make me want to cry in happiness because I know that you guys really love this story. That means SO much to me. And Miracledreamer, you asked if Kate was ever going to have a main role in this story again. I have a final plan for her in the future (it's HUGE) and she's going to be mentioned a few times throughout the story, but other than that, she's not going to be around too much. I hope that answers your question.

Now that I think about it, everything with Kate was just a buildup. The real story starts now. MWHAHAHA!

Disclaimer: I'm too young to vote, drink, I don't drive yet, and I'm in high school. Does that spell owner of Degrassi to you?

* * *

Chapter Forty-Seven

Love Story

Sunday went by painfully slow for Clare. Her mom came home and they went to church and her dad came home a few hours later. She did call Eli like she promised, but they were only able to talk for fifteen minutes and she couldn't talk for him for the remainder of the weekend. For the rest of the day, not a minute went by when Eli didn't enter her mind. She loved that she felt so much for him, but she really wanted to be by his side and it tortured her that she couldn't.

She was thankful when Monday came. Clare was going through her locker that morning and she felt Eli wrap his arms around her middle. He placed a kiss behind her ear and chills soared down her spine.

"Hi," she greeted with a grin.

"Hey," he replied. "I was thinking of you all day yesterday."

"I thought of you, too."

She then closed her locker and turned around in his arms before clasping her hands behind his neck and kissing his lips for a moment. They relished the feeling of their lips moving together and the tastes of each other. The two eventually disjoined their lips, but they still held onto each other.

"And how is my amazing girlfriend today?" he asked.

"Good," she replied. "Especially now that my boyfriend is here."

She slid her hands from behind his neck and down his arms before eventually taking his hands. He glanced down at her left hand and saw that her ring finger was still bare.

"Have either of your parents noticed that you're not wearing your purity ring?"

"No . . . and I'm hoping it remains that way."

"But, if they do notice, you can just tell them that you don't need a ring to prove that you're going to wait till marriage."

"True," she approved. "Then I just have to hope they don't find out."

"If we keep this secret and not give them a reason to suspect anything, I'm sure they won't. And, I was thinking, if you aren't busy after school and before you go to work, do you want to go to the hearse and pick-up where we left off on Saturday?" he asked.

Clare bit her lip and blushed.

"I would, but my dad's girlfriend is coming over for dinner."

"Alright," he accepted, trying not to seem crestfallen.

"But . . ." she said, squeezing his hands and taking a small step towards him so there was less space between them. "I'm not doing anything at lunch and . . . there's something I'm going to be really hungry for. Would you mind meeting in the back of your car at twelve and . . . giving me what I need?"

Eli couldn't stop a grin from forming on his face. He was still getting used to Clare being all lustful, so it did surprise him that she suggested this in such a blunt manner . . . not that he minded.

"Only if you give me what I need in return," he negotiated.

"Deal," she said. "I'll be expecting in Morty at noon sharp."

"You've turned into a little minx, haven't you?" he said.

"You make me do crazy things," she shrugged innocently.

"Oh, I know," he smirked before kissing her cheek.

"Just so we're clear, this isn't going to turn into a relationship that's all about sex, right?" she asked.

"If we started having a relationship that was only focused on that, I would probably start to miss everything else we do. Like our urban adventures . . . coffee dates at the Dot . . . writing together . . . all that good stuff."

Clare grinned at him pecking his mouth.

"I'm so happy you were my first."

He smiled at her before kissing her lips once again. They soon separated before their best friend came towards them.

"Hey guys," Adam accosted, pleased that they stopped their make-out session.

"Hi," they replied as the two of them released each other from their holds.

"Did you guys have fun at the concert?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," Clare said while Eli began to go through his bag.

"And here's the concert shirt we promised," he said, tossing Adam the extra shirt he got from the concert.

"Thanks," Adam said, examining the shirt. "Okay, story time. How was it? Did it you guys scream? Was it awesome? Was it the coolest thing ever?"

"Amazing, yes, yes, and _oh yes_," Eli answered chronologically while wrapping his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders. Clare's face turned red, knowing that Eli wasn't only referring to the concert.

"You alright, Clare?" Adam asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"You should've seen her that night. She did things that we never would've expected her to do," Eli said, grinning slyly at Clare.

"Well, Eli, it was my first time going somewhere like that," she reminded him, referring to both situations.

"I know, but you just _really _surprised me."

"What did you do?" Adam asked.

"Let's just say she did _a_ _lot_ of rocking out that night," he said. "She was all over the place; up, down, left, right, every–."

"Thank you," Clare said to shut him up; her face was still tomato red.

"Okay," Adam said slowly. "I need to get some studying done for a test. I'll see you guys around."

He started to go down the hall, leaving the couple all alone in the hall again.

"Way to keep it quiet," she jested, whacking Eli in the chest.

"What? I was just telling him about the concert," he said with a smirk.

Clare rolled her eyes.

"Sure you were."

He chuckled slightly before moving his lips towards her ear.

"Don't worry, I'll keep our dirty little secret," he whispered to her.

She shuddered at these words before he kissed below her ear. The bell then sounded, signaling the students to go to homeroom. Eli pulled away from Clare.

"I'll see you later," she promised him as she began to walk to class.

"Don't forget lunch," he called.

She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him before heading to her classroom.

()()

The bell rang at the end of fifth period to signal the beginning of lunch. Eli rushed out of his class and went down the hall to get to Clare as soon as possible. He tried not to move too fast down the hall, but it was challenging.

He soon got out of Degrassi and went towards the parking lot. He was at Morty within a matter of seconds. He checked his watch and saw that it was two minutes after noon. Assuming that Clare was still on her way out of the school, he decided to wait for her in the back of the hearse.

He opened up the back and looked inside. He smiled when he saw Clare already sitting in there on top of a large black blanket he had back there. He climbed in and closed the door behind him.

"For a minute there I thought you weren't going to show," she conceded.

"Now, Clare, why would I do that?" he said before moving towards her and constructing his lips to hers.

She wrapped her arms around his neck before lying down on her back. He came down and hovered over her. They slowly and passionately kissed as he put his hands on her hips.

"Shall we pick-up where we left off last time we were back here?" she asked when their lips pulled away.

"If you wish."

"Then we better to get back to where we were . . . and you were wearing less than what you are right now."

He then shrugged off his jacket before Clare pulled off his shirt.

"And your legs were around me," he reminded her. She wrapped her legs around his waist before crushing her lips to his.

He undid the button of her khakis like he did on Saturday before he attached his lips to a spot on her neck that made her shiver. Her arms fell limp at her sides as he kissed her skin and slid his hands under her shirt.

"Turned on yet?" he whispered.

"Very much," she nodded, her chest heaving into his.

Eli removed his mouth from her to grab the hemline of her shirt. He hastily pulled it over her head and threw it to the side. She was now lying under him in nothing but her pants and purple bra in the back of his hearse.

"This is extremely kinky, you know," he stated as he put one hand on her sternum while he kissed her jaw.

"That's not going to stop you, is it?" she asked as she blindly began to undo his belt.

"Definitely not," he said before putting his lips back to hers.

She moaned pleasantly against his mouth as he moved his hand down her stomach. She slid his belt off him as he kissed her collarbone. She smiled with desire as he fondled his lips on her skin when . . .

"Oh my God!" she screeched when she saw someone peeking through the hearse's back window.

"Oh my God!" Adam hollered in response from the outside.

"Oh my God!" Eli echoed, looking over his shoulder and seeing a traumatized Adam.

He slowly took a few steps away from the back of the car while Eli got off Clare. He cracked the door open and stuck his head out so he could confront Adam.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I can ask you two the same thing!" Adam claimed.

"I'll rephrase that! Why the hell are you _looking_?"

"I didn't mean to see anything. I went looking for you guys since you weren't at lunch. I couldn't find Clare and I knew you would go to your car, so I came here and . . . well . . . the rest is history."

"And you decided to watch? How much did you see?"

"Not much. I only stood there for five, ten, fifteen seconds tops."

Eli groaned in irritation as he made sure that no one else was in the parking lot with Adam.

"I'm gonna give you three seconds to get out of here. One . . ."

"I'm going! I'm going!" Adam said before sprinting back to the school.

Eli concealed himself in the hearse again, closed the door, and sighed in annoyance. He turned around and saw Clare lying on her back with her hands over her face and her Degrassi polo resting over her torso.

"That was awkward," Eli stated.

"You think," she said with sarcasm as she sat up, her shirt continuing to be held against her chest.

Eli scooted closer to her so he was right by her side. He observed that her face was the reddest it had been all day and he wished that she wasn't feeling so humiliated.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said before. "That was just really embarrassing."

"I know," he said as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she laid her head in the crook of his neck.

"I guess the idea of this remaining our secret is ancient history," she mentioned.

"Well, at least this didn't happen that night we first did it," he affirmed.

"At least," she repeated.

The atmosphere wasn't set for love making anymore; instead it was just uncomfortable and dismayed.

"Want to wait and do this another time?" he suggested, knowing that the happiness had long since evaporated.

Clare nodded.

"Are you mad?" she inquired before pulling her shirt over her head.

"Why would I be mad?" he replied, pulling his own shirt onto his body.

"Because this is the second time in a row that we tried to do this and I turned around and changed my mind."

"The mood was murdered; it's not like you interrupted us getting it on."

She couldn't help but chuckle at his statements.

"So what are we going to do about Adam?" she asked while she fastened her pants.

"I'll talk to him," Eli said, putting his belt back on then his jacket. "I'll tell him to forget everything he saw and then we'll move on with our lives. He'll understand."

"Sounds good to me," she said as he opened the door of the hearse. "I promise, someday soon, we will actually finish what we start in here."

He gave her a smile as they climbed out.

"Can't wait," he replied after he closed the door and they walked back up to the school hand-in-hand.

()()

Afternoon study period finally arrived. Clare went straight to the library and buried her head in her History textbook. She hoped that Adam would just avoid her the rest of the day, forget about it overnight, and then they could continue on with their lives as usual.

_Who am I kidding? _Clare snarled in her head. _This is Adam. He won't leave it be._

She was right of course. She glanced at the door to the library and saw Adam entering. Clare avoided his eye as he came towards her.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hi," she replied, her eyes focusing on the world "revolution" on the page of her textbook. Adam took a seat across from her and prepared to talk to her.

"Listen, I'm sorry I . . . saw you and Eli earlier. I know it must've been _really_ embarrassing."

"A little bit," she nodded, still not meeting his eyes.

"Don't worry, one of these days, we'll look back on this and laugh . . . it may be a few years, but I'm sure that all of this will be one of those funny stories we'll laugh about at high school reunions."

Clare chuckled a little.

"Just try to keep the images out of your head."

"Oh, I will."

"And don't breathe a word of it to anyone."

"I shall keep my mouth shut tight."

"Thank you. Now let's just forget this crazy experience and move on with our crazy lives."

"Okay . . . but can I say you one thing?" Adam said before putting the subject to bed.

"I guess so," Clare accepted.

"You guys feel free to do whatever you want inside Morty, but I'll hose you two down if you even consider getting it on inside Han Solo," he warned.

"_Adam_!" she spat out.

"I'm just saying."

* * *

"_Romeo, take me _

_Somewhere we can be alone_

_I'll be waiting_

_All there's left to do is run"_

_~"Love Story" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

Honestly, I just wanted to write a chapter when Adam sees Eli and Clare getting ready to do it. I was in a humor writing mood before we put in more drama. Not much to say other than review, add this story to your favorites if you wish, and all the good stuff!


	48. Every Day

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you for all the reviews again! They made me really happy and I want to send you all muffin baskets to thank you . . . but I can't, so I thought I'd update instead. I'm glad you guys liked that chapter! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or How I Met Your Mother

* * *

Chapter Forty-Eight

Every Day

Adam kept his promise and never brought up the hearse incident after that day. Eli and Clare were highly appreciative of this for the last thing they wanted was to be teased or become the subject of Adam's jokes.

Clare was still slightly embarrassed by Monday's incident with Adam seeing them in Morty, so she was apprehensive to do anything like that again with Eli. She definitely wanted to make love to him again, but she wanted to forget the look on Adam's face from that day before she did.

She was relieved that Eli understood and even felt empathetic; he told her one day during the week that he can't look at the back of Morty without thinking of Adam's terrified face.

Since they agreed not to be intimate, they made up for it by spending their nights chatting online until one in the morning and taking every moment possible to exchange kisses.

The rest of that week was nothing but dull for the most part. The only exciting aspect was the fact that they were able to work on the play. The _Feudal Romance _production was coming together one step at a time. All the cast members were working hard along with the set design team and everyone else. Adam was doing great as the director and Eli and Clare were with him to be sure their work was being done justice. Other than observing the play come alive, not much happened the rest of that week.

The following Tuesday morning came quicker than Clare expected. It took her so long to get to sleep the night before. She was tossing and turning all night, her stomach aching, her head spinning, nausea constantly churning inside her. She kept waking up in the night feeling absolutely disgruntled. In the end, she only got two straight hours of sleep and four hours all together. However, the times she did fall into sleep were uneasy and went by too quickly for her liking. Unluckily, there was a time in the early morning when she was disturbed from her unpleasant sleep to run to her bathroom and vomit up some of what she had eaten from the night before.

Her head was pounding as the sound of her alarm clock rang through her room at five-forty. She blindly reached for the off button and she sighed in a tired relief as she heard the silence. Clare rubbed her eyes before sitting up, wishing immediately that she was back in a deep slumber. She felt her stomach churn painfully as began to stand up. However, once she was able to stand, she felt dizzy immediately. Then she felt it . . .

Bile rose in her throat and she made a beeline to the bathroom. She ran to the sink and vomited a mess of last night's dinner. After taking a few deep breaths, she rinsed the sink and walked slowly back to her bedroom.

She wanted nothing more than to crawl back into her bed and go back to sleep. Unfortunately, she knew that wasn't an option. She had yet to miss a day of school the entire year and she wasn't going to break her streak just because she felt a bit sick.

She took a shower, put on more makeup than usual to cover up any signs of her looking ill, and ran a brush through her hair after changing into her uniform while she wished that the pants weren't so tight on her abdomen. She grabbed her bag and books before exiting her room and entering the kitchen. She saw Helen leaning against the counter while she sipped a cup of coffee.

"'Morning," she said tiredly to her mother a few minutes later while she placed her belongings on the table.

"Good morning," Helen greeted. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine; I just feel a bit sick," Clare answered, pouring herself some juice.

"Come here," her mother said. Clare walked towards her and didn't protest (mainly due to exhaustion) when her mother put her hand against her forehead.

"You don't feel feverish."

"It's just the mild stomach flu or something," Clare reassured, sitting down at the table.

"Have you been throwing-up?"

"I did a few minutes ago and once last night, but –."

"Clare, if you are feeling _that_ sick, you should stay home."

"No, Mom, I'm fine," Clare protested, although staying home did sound a little inviting. "I'll just take it ea–."

Clare was about to continue when she felt more vomit coming. She put her hand over her mouth before bolting to the sink and puking into it. She felt Helen stand behind her and rub her back soothingly as Clare coughed a little to rid herself of the remaining vomit.

"Maybe I should stay home," Clare admitted in defeat.

"Alright," Helen said, glad that her daughter was going to take care of herself.

"But I'm going tomorrow no matter what," she stated, point blank.

"We'll see how you're feeling. But if you're like this, or worse, tomorrow you're staying home."

()()

Clare lied in bed sound asleep. Unfortunately, vomit woke her up once again. After coming back to her room after spewing her guts out, she tried to get back to sleep, but she couldn't. She checked the time and saw that it was nearly noon. She thought about what she would be doing if she was at Degrassi right now.

The bell would've been about to ring and Eli, Adam, and Clare would've gone to down to the cafeteria to eat lunch. It was Tuesday, so they would've been discussing various topics over pepperoni pizza, salads, or chicken sandwiches. The more she thought about it, the more she missed Degrassi and her friends, even though she just saw them yesterday.

Clare reached for her phone and decided to text Eli to explain to him why she wasn't there. She opened it and saw that she had a text from him. Her mood improving, she opened the message. It was sent hours ago, but she was asleep at the time and probably didn't hear the message alert.

_Y r u not school? R u ok?_ the message read.

Clare was about to text back when she heard a knock at the door. A little frustrated that she had to leave her comfortable bed, she left her room and walked down the stairs. She couldn't care less if her hair was a mess and that she was just wearing her plain white pajamas, so she didn't care if the person at the door had a problem with it or not.

She opened the door and, for the first time in what felt like days, she felt a bit happy. Eli was standing there, making her smile a little.

"Hi," she said through her dry throat.

"Hey," Eli greeted. Clare let him in and they both went into the living room and sat on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Why? Not happy to see me?" he teased. "I was worried about you, so I decided to skip lunch and come see how you were doing," he explained, wrapping his arm gently around her shoulders.

"That's thoughtful of you, but I'm okay."

"Are you sure? You don't look very well."

"It's just the stomach flu," Clare assured. "I'll be fine. So, have I missed anything today?"

"No . . . just Adam attempting, and failing, to juggle."

Clare chuckled, wishing that she was there to see it.

"I'm actually surprised that you took the day off," Eli confessed. "You never take a day off school, not even when you're sick."

"My mom insisted," Clare explained. "Otherwise I might've gone."

"You have to take care of yourself," he told her. "If you get sick, you shouldn't be stressing yourself out with school."

"I could handle it," she reassured. "But what's done is done and I'm staying here."

"That's good. Even geniuses like you deserve a few sick days."

Clare rolled her eyes and grinned.

"I'm not sure about _days_, but one can't hurt me too much."

She then looked at her knees, preparing herself to ask a question that had recently entered her mind.

"Um . . . has Kate tried anything since I'm not there?"

"No she hasn't. And don't worry about her. Since . . ."

"She kissed you."

"Yeah, since that I've had nothing to do with her and every time she's even thought about coming to talk to me, I've walked away," Eli said, putting his free hand comfortingly on her knee. "She's not going to come between us again, Clare. You know I won't let that happen."

"I know you won't," Clare said, holding the hand that rested on her knee. "I just get a little paranoid sometimes."

"I know, but you're cute when you care."

She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Do you need me to get you anything?" he asked caringly.

"No thanks," she said, grinning at how considerate he was.

"Are you sure? Because I'll make you some soup if you want me to."

"I'm okay," she reassured him. "Just sit with me for a while?"

"I can do that."

They leaned back onto the back cushions of the couch. He put his arms around her waist gently so he wasn't inflicting more pain on her. Clare put her head on his chest as she lifted her legs onto the couch.

Clare reached for the remote for the TV and went through a few channels before finally settling on one. They began watching an episode of _How I Met Your Mother_ and didn't speak for a while. During the first commercial break, Eli turned his head down at Clare and grinned at her. He stared at her for a minute or two until she pulled her head off his torso to look at him.

"What?" she asked when she saw that he was looking at her.

"Nothing," he replied. "I'm just amazed."

"About what?"

"How pretty you look even when you're sick."

Clare felt a bit of color come to her pale face. She attempted to flatten some of her hair, which was a bit awry since she'd been sleeping on it all day, but Eli gently pulled her hand away and held it.

"The bedhead looks good on you too."

She didn't believe him. In her opinion, she looked as awful as she felt, but it was clear to see that Eli thought the opposite.

"You're very sweet," she told him with slight embarrassment.

"I know," he said, knowing it would make her laugh. She did let out a few light chuckles before she laid her head on his chest again so she could hear his heart beat underneath her ear.

"Are you sure there's nothing you need me to do? Get you some water? Rub your back? Sing in Japanese?"

"I didn't know you knew Japanese," she replied with a dry laugh.

"I don't, but I can improvise."

"So you'll basically be speaking in gibberish," Clare concluded.

"If you want to call it that," he shrugged.

She smiled at him. She couldn't believe that he was willing to do all of this voluntarily without minding it at all. She had no idea how she got so lucky to have Eli as her boyfriend, but she was glad that he was with her.

"You always know how to make me feel better," she informed him, resting her hand on his sternum.

"Well, laughter is the best medicine."

She released another small laugh before he kissed her head and the two of them proceeded to watch the show. They sat on the sofa and viewed the episode until it was over. Once the credits rolled, Clare checked the time.

"You should be getting back," Clare sighed regrettably, seeing that the lunch period was almost done.

"I can stay if you want me to," Eli told her. Clare wanted to consider the idea, but she knew she would have to decline.

"It's okay; I don't want you missing anything on my account. And besides, you can't leave Adam all alone."

"True," Eli agreed as they walked towards the door. "I'll see you around then."

"Hopefully I'll be healthy enough to come back tomorrow."

"But if you still feel sick like you do today, you see if you can have another day off."

"Yes, _Mom_," Clare smiled, rolling her eyes. "Thanks for coming by."

"Anytime; I hope you feel better," Eli said, caressing her cheek with his thumb.

"Thanks."

The two of them were leaning in for a kiss when Clare cleared her throat in protest.

"I've been throwing-up all day and . . ." she began, but she was too embarrassed to continue.

Eli shook his head in small motions before chastely putting his lips to hers. She returned the kiss and forgot about how sick she felt for a matter of seconds. When the kiss ended, Eli pulled her in for a comforting embrace.

"Best boyfriend _ever_," she declared as he held her in his arms.

He smirked and kissed her cheek before pulling out of the hug.

"I'll see you soon," he promised. "And I'll call you later."

"Okay; I love you."

"I love you, too," he replied before exiting the house.

()()

Clare leaned against her headboard and read one of her many vampire novels. Once again, she was stricken with sickness and her mom made her stay home. She had another sleepless night so she didn't protest her mother's orders to stay home an extra day.

She'd been vomiting almost everything she'd eaten. Every time she ate some crackers, soup, or almost every kind of food, it wouldn't take long for it to exit her body in the form of bile. She was thankful that she was able to keep down some water and the occasional granola bar so she didn't get dehydrated or have a completely empty stomach.

Whenever she wasn't puking or trying to keep food down on this Wednesday, she was either sleeping or reading. She'd been awake since one o'clock by this point and she'd been reading ever since.

At six o'clock, Clare was so engrossed by the novel that she was slightly startled when someone knocked on her door.

"Come in," she permitted.

She expected Helen to enter the room. However, to her delight, Eli stepped inside. Clare noticed that he had kept one of his hands behind his back.

"Hi," she greeted with a small grin.

"Hi," he replied as he walked towards her. "How are you feeling?"

Clare shrugged as she closed her book and put it to the side.

"Well, I'm sorry to say that I come bearing homework," he informed regrettably.

"Joy," she groaned in acrimony.

"I didn't think you'd want to get too behind," he told her apologetically, catching on to the sarcasm. He struggled to keep one of his hands behind his back as he put his bag down and took out two textbooks in company with some papers.

"Did you go to every class and break into my locker or something?" she asked as she looked through all the homework she was given.

"Don't be ridiculous . . . I couldn't pull that off by myself; Adam helped as well. And he hopes you get better soon."

Clare grinned at how considerate these two guys were as she looked at the homework. Eli noticed how unhappy she was about having a boatload of work _and_ being sick at the same time.

"I get that homework isn't exactly something you want when you're ill, so hopefully these will brighten your mood."

He then withdrew half a dozen red roses from behind his back. Clare couldn't help but smile in appreciation as he passed them to her. She saw a small white piece of paper in the bundle and pulled it out. She saw that Eli had written something on it.

_Get well soon, sweetheart. I'm sure you'll be back to yourself in no time. I'm here if you need me._

_All my love,_

_Your Eli_

Clare felt like she was about to cry from pleasure. He was so sweet to her and she couldn't believe how thoughtful he was after being together for over a year. She kept looking at the word "sweetheart" and she felt her heart beat happily inside her.

"I know bringing someone flowers when they're sick is a bit cheesy and –."

"No, no," Clare said, beaming at him. "It's sweet. Thank you."

She slid over a bit and patted a spot next to her. He sat next to her and held her hand. She gently placed the bouquet on the nightstand next to a vase that still held the tulip he gave her a month ago (less alive, of course).

"How's the play coming along?" she asked curiously.

"It's coming. Everyone's working hard on it, so I think our writing will be shown in a good light."

"Great. I wish I could've been there the last two days."

"I'm sure you'll be fine by next week and you'll be back in action."

"I hope so," she sighed.

"By the way, everyone in the Drama Club wishes you a speedy recovery."

She felt a small grin on her face, but that didn't change the fact that she had to miss two days of school.

"Two days in a row," she stated. "That's a record for me."

"But it's a record you have to break."

"Speak for yourself. You never get sick. How is that possible?" she inquired of him.

"Simple, I'm a robot," he kidded. "I just have a sturdy immune system. That is why I can do this . . ."

Eli put his lips to hers and kept them there for a few seconds.

". . . and I won't have to worry about getting sick."

"Don't hold it against me if you do though."

"I won't. But, if I do, it was worth it."

Just like the day before, Eli made her blush slightly.

"Well, since it's worth it, would you mind doing it again?" she asked hopefully.

"Your wish is my command," he said before kissing her again.

He gently cared for her lips, but she refused to open her mouth despite begging his tongue was doing. She didn't want him tasting the flavor of vomit that still existed in her mouth, so she kept it closed. She knew Eli would understand and she assumed that he eventually got the message when his tongue retreated.

"Better?" he asked, pulling away.

"A little," she answered.

She then snuggled her head onto his chest and he gently held her waist.

"So my mom actually allowed a boy to come into my room?" she said in amazement. "She must really trust you."

"Yeah," he replied before lowering his voice to a whisper. "Let's just hope she doesn't find out about what we did two weeks ago."

Clare couldn't help but blush again.

"Do you think she suspects anything?" she asked him.

"Don't think so. I even asked her where your room was so it didn't look suspicious."

"Smart," she approved.

"You don't think she's listening in just outside the door, do you?" Eli asked after glancing at the entrance to the room.

"No," Clare reassured. "If she was, she'd be yelling at us right now."

Eli kept her company for a few hours afterwards. He was able to help her with some of her homework since he learned all of it last year. They finished all of it and spent the rest of the time talking about some incidents from when they were younger. Eli was sure to tell stories that made her smile so she could chuckle and feel better.

When nine-thirty came around, he knew that he should be getting home.

"Do you want me to come by again after school tomorrow if you're still feeling sick?" he asked as he stood up from the bed.

"I'm coming tomorrow."

"Even if you still feel like hell?" he asked.

"I'll suck it up."

"But if you do end up staying home?"

"I'm not going to."

"What if your mom insists that you stay?"

"Eli," she said, trying to get him to stop asking these questions.

He knew Clare was being stubborn now, so he didn't press the subject anymore.

"Well, whether you're at school or not, I'll see you tomorrow."

He leaned down and gave her one last kiss and bade her a final "I love you" before exiting her room.

()()

Clare was still feeling sick the next day and was condemned to stay home for a third day. Eli kept his promise and came by to see her after school. He helped her with more of her homework and kept her company once again. She didn't have as much as the night before, so they spent an hour and a half talking and exchanging small kisses every now and then.

When Friday came, Clare didn't feel much better but, despite protests from both Helen and Eli, she went to school. She dragged herself out of bed and took a quick shower. Since she felt really sick and exhausted, she didn't bother applying makeup or doing her hair in any special way.

"Now if you start feeling really sick and you need to come home, call me and I'll come pick you up," Helen told her when they pulled up to the front of the school.

"Alright," Clare nodded, climbing out of the car. She told her mother that she'll do this, when in reality she was going to suck it up and get through this day.

Thanks to Eli's comfort and Adam's sympathy, she was able to get through the hours of school. She only ate an apple and drank some water at lunch so Eli wouldn't fuss over her; he was watching her like a hawk every chance he got because he was so concerned about her.

Clare now stood against her locker and leaned her head against it. She kept her eyes closed and tried to sleep before her next class. She remained perfectly still until she felt a hand on her upper arm.

"Hey, soldier," Eli greeted.

She grinned at him weakly.

"Feeling any better?" he asked like he did every time he saw that day.

She shook her head.

"I'm sorry," he said sympathetically.

"It's not your fault," she replied groggily.

"Do you need a hug?" he offered.

She grinned at his generosity before she suddenly felt the bile rise up in her throat and she gagged.

"Are you alright?" Eli asked.

"Excuse me," she choked out before racing to the girl's room. She dashed into the closest stall and vomited. She took three deep breaths and lifted her head from the toilet. She flushed away the contents before coming out.

She washed her hands and splashed some water on her face. She suddenly regretted not staying home. This was the third or fourth time she puked that day since she arrived at school and she desperately wanted to lie down and sleep, but she couldn't. She had half a mind to call Helen to ask her to pick her up, but she also wanted to not get behind on work again.

"Suck it up," she scolded herself.

"Still feeling sick?" a new voice asked her.

Clare turned to her left and saw Jenna standing by her at the other sink.

"I heard Adam and Eli say something in the hall yesterday about you having the stomach flu."

"I'm fine," she shrugged as she got some paper towel to dry her face and hands. Her left hand was seen by Jenna and something caught her eye.

"Where's your purity ring?"

Clare knew it was a matter of time until someone other than Eli realized she wasn't her ring, but she didn't think Jenna would be one of the people who would notice, or care for that matter.

"None of your business," Clare said quickly as she threw away the towel and picked up her bag.

Jenna, unfortunately, saw this as a red flag. Clare saw the amazement in Jenna's eyes and wished immediately that she said something about losing her ring or another lie around those lines.

"Well, well, well," Jenna said. "Saint Clare lost her virginity. I'm assuming you and Eli shared a moment."

"None of your business," Clare repeated.

"Were you guys safe?" Jenna asked curiously.

"What?" Clare demanded, shocked.

"If you guys didn't use protection, it is potentially possible that –."

"You don't think – you think I'm pregnant?" Clare interrupted, sounding appalled.

"All the signs are there, Clare Bear. Vomiting, fatigue, irritability," she listed.

"All of which could be justified," Clare stated. "I'm vomiting because I have a stomach virus, I have fatigue because I'm tired because I've been throwing-up every couple of hours, and I've been irritable because of I'm sleep deprived and annoyed."

"You're in denial. I felt the same way before I found out I was pregnant with Austin."

"Okay, I'm not saying that Eli and I did anything, but _if_ we did, we would make sure that we were safe."

"Whether you take precautions or not, it is still a possibility."

Clare understood that arguing with someone wasn't going to help the way she was feeling, but she would rather feel lousy than have people make assumptions about her illness, especially if it was someone who started the rumor that she got a boob job during grade ten.

"You know what, I'm getting sick and tired of you and your boyfriend accusing what Eli and I do, what's happens between us, and everything else. At first it was annoying, but accusing me of being pregnant is pathetic. Keep your nose out my relationship and focus on your own."

Clare stormed out the bathroom, lightheaded and frustrated. She saw Eli standing across the hall looking rather concerned.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he walked up to her.

"Yeah," she nodded as she walked towards the bench and sat down. Eli sat next to her and put a comforting hand on her back.

"Maybe you should go home," he suggested. "I'll drive you there if you need me to."

Clare shook her head.

"It's just a few more hours and then it's the weekend; I'll be fine."

"Okay," he said, respecting her decision. "But take it easy until then. And if you change your mind at any time, let me know."

Clare nodded before laying her head on his shoulder. She saw Jenna emerge out of the bathroom. Eli kept his eyes on Clare, so he didn't notice the head shaking Jenna was doing. Clare saw Jenna, but she readjusted her head on Eli's shoulder so she wouldn't have to see her.

"Is that offer for a hug still open?" she asked hopefully.

"I'll give you one better," he said before kissing her chastely.

()()

Clare was extremely relieved when the last bell of the day rang. She walked out of her Geometry classroom and saw Eli waiting for her by her locker.

"Clare Edwards, you made it through a whole day of school while you were sick. What are you going to do next?" he asked, making his voice sound like a commentator's.

"Going to bed the second I get home," she answered, her voice not as happy as Eli's. She put her books away and the two of them started walking towards the exit.

"That's a good idea," Eli approved as they descended the steps. "And tomorrow you can sleep-in since it's the weekend."

"Thankfully. I'll see you later," she said as began to walk away after they got off the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Eli asked her.

"Home," she stated obviously. "I usually walk this way."

"Are you sure you should be walking home with the way you're feeling?"

"I need the exercise," she shrugged. "I've been in bed for three days, remember?"

"Well, you can worry about that when you're completely healthy. Until then, there's a seat in Morty with your name on it."

"I'm –," she began to decline.

"And if you refuse, I'll just have to drive slowly behind you until you're home to be sure you don't throw-up in the middle of the sidewalk."

Clare rolled her eyes in defeat and began to walk towards the parking lot with him.

"If that wasn't such a good argument, I'd be calling you a stalker," she told him.

"But I'd be stalking out of love and concern, so you can't really say anything against it."

Clare smiled at him, but as she climbed into Morty and the two of them began to drive, she started thinking about Jenna's words.

* * *

"_I come around all broken down and crowded out_

_And you're comfort"_

_~"Every Day" by Rascal Flatts_

* * *

I know Jenna's baby isn't named Austin in the show, but by the time I found out about his real name, the document when I first mentioned his name for this fic was already deleted from fanfiction and I can't upload it again. So, for argument's sake, let's say that K.C and Jenna's baby is named Austin (and there was no adoption involved; like I said, not going to by seasons since 2011). Reviews please! The more reviews I get, the more I'll feel like writing. The next chapter is almost ready, so you guys let me know when you want it! Reviews!


	49. By Your Side

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Okay guys, eleven reviews in less than 24 hours? AMAZING! Thank you all SOOO MUCH! I've read all of your reviews and I appreciate all the feedback. Thanks guys! Let's keep that up please! I know I updated this rather quickly, but I wanted to let you guys know the verdict of the pregnancy thing before you either hug me or throw spears at me. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: (note, I say this like a soap opera actor) I'm sorry, but I don't own Degrassi . . . because . . . my uncle's cousin is sleeping with your brother's ex-girlfriend's sister's hairdresser's fiancé! There I said it, now let us be (lol).

* * *

Chapter Forty-Nine

By Your Side

Clare felt her hands shake in company with the rest of her body as she went down the sidewalk that Saturday afternoon. Her heart pounded painfully as she felt her stomach churn with nerves and fear. Tears were beginning to sting her eyes, so she tried to wipe them away as she walked to the Goldworthy's front door.

She knocked on the door, knowing there was no turning back. Clare was so scared that she was kind of relieved that it wasn't Eli who answered the door. Instead, the smiling face of CeCe greeted her.

"Clare!" she exclaimed. "This is a surprise."

"Hi, CeCe," Clare replied with a weak smile. "Sorry for barging in like –."

"Nonsense," CeCe grinned. "You're always welcome here. Please, come in."

CeCe stepped aside to let Clare into the house.

"Eli's in his room if you want to see him."

"Thank you," Clare attempted to say, but she lost her breath when she thought of seeing Eli.

"How are you feeling?" CeCe asked, suddenly concerned. "Eli told us you've been sick the last few days."

"I'm fine," Clare fibbed.

"Are you sure? You look a bit pale. You don't need water or anything?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine," Clare reassured.

"Okay," CeCe accepted. "You just let me know if you need anything."

"I will," she promised before she started to walk up the stairs.

She went straight to Eli's room, her movements slow. With each step she took, her heart sped-up and she started to feel nauseous. She was halfway there when she heard music blasting, letting her feel absolutely sure that he was in his room. The music got louder the closer Clare walked to the white door with the skull and crossbones hanging on it. She took a shuddering breath and tried to stay level-headed before she knocked on the door.

She heard the music shut off as she heard Eli's voice.

"Yeah?"

Clare gulped before she turned the doorknob. She stepped into the room and closed the door. She saw Eli standing by his stereo to turn off the music, but he turned around and saw Clare standing in his room.

"Hi," she greeted in a voice that was barely above a whisper as she closed the door behind her. For the first time since they recovered from the Kate incident, she wasn't thrilled to see him.

"Hi," he replied, sitting on the edge of his bed. He patted the mattress, inviting her to sit down. Somewhat apprehensive, Clare sat down next to him. She felt like vomiting from terror as he gently wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"How are you feeling?" he asked caringly.

"Same," she answered honestly. She felt her face grow hot. She sat there, wishing she had the nerves to tell him what was on her mind.

"Sorry," he said sympathetically, wishing that she didn't feel so sick.

"I'll be okay . . . eventually," she added to herself.

Not knowing what else to say, Eli kissed her head.

"I wish there was something I could do in the meantime," he told her.

Clare took this opportunity to begin to discuss the issue she was having.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked, turning around to face him.

"Sure," he permitted.

"You meant it when you said I was the one for you, right?"

Eli was taken aback by this. He was also a little hurt at the idea that Clare thought he probably _didn't _mean it. Why would she think that? He then assumed that some person who didn't want them together told her that so she would feel threatened and distraught.

"Clare, whatever Kate said to make you think that –."

"This has nothing to do with Kate," Clare interrupted. "Did you mean it?"

"Of course I meant it," he consoled. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't."

Clare wished that she didn't ask that question the second he answered it. She knew that Eli was honest about it before he confessed and she felt so stupid for even thinking of the possibility that he lied to her about being the one for him.

"You're right, I'm sorry," Clare started, tears starting to swarm in her eyes again. "I don't know why I asked. I know you meant it. Why did I even ask?"

"Calm down," Eli intervened. "It's alright."

"Sorry, I'm sorry," she said very quickly as she started to cry. "I don't know why I thought that. I'm just so terrified and I feel alone! And I just _need_ to know that no matter what happens you're going to be there! Eli, I can't take this!"

"Clare!" Eli said loud enough to stop Clare from freaking out. She didn't speak anymore but she continued to cry.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered.

"Don't worry," Eli reassured, pulling her into a comforting hug. She began sobbing into his shoulder and he didn't try to stop her. He let her cry as he tried to soothe her by running his hand up and down her back.

After a few minutes, Clare leaned out of the hug and wiped her eyes.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked, now getting worried.

She took a deep breath and forbade herself to let out more tears until she admitted to Eli what has been on her mind. She looked to the floor and tried to think of an easy way to say this . . . then she reached the unnerving conclusion that there was none.

"You can tell me," Eli reassured, taking her hand. "What is it?"

She turned her head to face him, determined to tell him the truth; it was now or never.

"I – I think," she choked, "I think I'm pregnant."

It was obvious to see that Eli was shocked. Then again, who wouldn't be shocked if someone heard _that _kind of news from their teenage girlfriend? His eyes were unblinking and he felt his heart racing. He felt his body go numb. At first, it seemed that this couldn't be possible . . . but then he started thinking. Clare had been throwing-up for the last few days, she's been irritable, and now she was really emotional.

Now that he thought about it, everything made sense. He even understood why she would be asking him if he meant all those things she said about her being the one for him and ranting about how she felt alone.

He just couldn't believe that Clare could be having a baby . . . his baby . . . _their _baby.

"Eli, _please_ say something," she begged of him, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Y-You're pregnant?" he repeated.

"I think so," Clare replied, looking down at the ground. She waited for Eli to speak again.

Eli stood up and began to pace. He tried to wrap his head around this news, but he was too shocked to analyze anything.

"What do you mean you _think_ you're pregnant?"

"I mean that I might be having a baby, _our_ baby. But I'm not a hundred percent sure if I am or not. I haven't taken a test yet, but I came to tell you to be prepared."

Even though he heard the word "might", there was still a possibility that she was going to be giving birth to a child. Eli was mad, scared, and yet still in shock at the same time.

"How did this happen? I thought we were safe."

"We were, but the pills are only ninety-five percent effective."

"I can't believe this," Eli breathed. Clare saw him trying to remain calm, but she prepared herself for the explosion, for she knew that he could only take so much before he lost it.

He was silent for a second as he continued to move around the room.

"W-We're teenagers! We're in high school! We'll both be in college in a few years, we're broke, and I don't have a job yet! We can't be parents! We don't know how to raise a child!" Eli ranted.

"I know!" Clare nearly shouted.

"We should've been more protected! We should've thought about this before we did anything!"

"I did, that's why I took the pills!"

Eli roamed the room for countless more minutes until the shock slightly wore off. He looked at the ground and rubbed the back of his neck before he finally spoke again.

"Maybe having sex wasn't such a great idea."

At those words, Clare felt as though someone had stabbed her in the heart in an icicle. She was already feeling disheartened because she was possibly carrying a baby, but hearing Eli say something against their one night of passion was the final blow.

"Thanks," she said sarcastically before standing up and going towards the door.

Eli didn't realize what he just said until he heard Clare's tone. Feeling horrible, he raced to the door and blocked it before Clare left.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I wasn't thinking; I'm just scared."

Clare heard how sincere he was, but she didn't feel any better.

"I'm scared too," she said, not looking at his eyes. "But not once have I regretted what we did that night."

"I know," he responded. "I'm sorry."

He put his arms around her and she did the same to him. They soon separated and journeyed back to the bed. Eli sat next to her, but she continued to avoid his eye. He moved a strand of hair behind her ear in comfort and she turned her head towards him. He didn't know what to say right now since the news was still sinking in, but what he did know was that he and Clare were in this situation and they were terrified.

"There's a chance I may not be, but . . . I have all the symptoms," she said, tears falling out of her eyes. "I've been sick for days and I haven't exactly been myself."

Eli wished he could say something, but he couldn't find his voice because he was so shocked. To give some kind of reassurance to her that he wasn't going anywhere, he wrapped an arm around her.

"We'll get through this," he said quietly, trying to convince himself as much as Clare. "We just have to decide what we should do."

"I don't know what to do," she cried. "I won't have an abortion, but I can't be a mom right now. I'm not sure about adoption, but I . . ."

She then burst out into tears and buried her face in her hands to muffle her sobs. He wrapped his arms around her and her held on to her.

"I-I'm scared," she admitted before she wrapped her arms around him.

"I know," he whispered. "I'm scared too."

"I'm too young to give birth, Eli. What if something happens to me?"

"Don't think that," he said before he held her tighter. "Everything will be fine; we just have to hang in there."

Clare nodded and pulled herself out of the hug as her tears stayed in her eyes.

"Clare," Eli said as he took both of her hands and stared into her blue orbs. "I promise that I'm going to be there for you every step of the way. You're not going to go through this alone. I'll help with anything you and the baby need."

For the first time in days, a small grin broke out on Clare's face; she was relieved to hear that Eli was going to be there for her and their child.

"Thank you," she told him, the tears beginning to subside.

"We're going to be okay. We'll figure all this out, but we should make sure before we make any decisions. Okay? We need to go get a test or something and then we'll see."

()()

They drove in Morty all the way into town and parked her outside the convenience store where Alli now worked. Clare kept her tears hidden and Eli was able to keep it together while they traveled. The two of them were completely silent because they were so afraid and they glanced at each other constantly to be sure they were staying calm. Eli parked outside the store minutes later.

"I'll be right back," Clare said, unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" he asked.

She shook her head before climbing out of the hearse; she felt uncomfortable enough telling Eli that she could be having his baby and she really didn't want him there while she bought the test that could determine the rest of their lives.

Trying not to show any fear, Clare walked into the store. She saw Alli working the cash register as she scanned the customers' items. She waved at Clare, who returned it with a fake grin.

Clare was relieved that the store wasn't busy. Only one or two people were there, neither of which she knew, so she felt confident that no one would judge her or tell her parents that she was buying a pregnancy test.

She went straight to the aisle where the tests were sold and spent ten minutes looking at all of them. She found the most accurate one and took it off the shelf. Worried about Alli's reaction, but somewhat glad it was her best friend and not a stranger who would be ringing it up, she walked to the checkout counter as she held the test behind her back.

"Thank you, come again," Alli said to the customer who was now leaving the store. It was now completed deserted except for her, Clare, and a man in the back of the store who was looking at cat litter.

"Hey girl," Alli greeted her as Clare stepped up to the counter. "What's up?"

Clare took a breath and looked at Alli.

"Promise you won't tell anyone."

"About what?" Alli asked in a now worried voice.

Clare placed the test on the counter then looked at Alli's face. Her eyes widened and she looked at Clare.

"Are you pregnant?" she asked, lowering her voice.

"I don't know; that's why I'm buying the test."

"Eli?" Alli assumed, knowing that Clare wouldn't have sex with any other guy in the present time.

Clare replied with a nod.

"Please don't tell anyone, Alli. I want to be sure before anything is said."

"I won't, I promise," she reassured her as she rung it up. "Did you tell him?"

"Yeah and he's trying to stay calm about it," Clare answered as she pulled out her wallet.

"Is he upset?" Alli asked as she put the test in a plastic bag with the store's logo on it.

"He's more terrified than anything . . . just like me," Clare said, handing Alli the money.

"Alright," Alli accepted as she gave Clare her change, bag, and receipt. "It'll be fine."

"I hope so. I'll call you when I find out the results."

"Okay," Alli told her before Clare walked out of the store.

()()

Helen was out when Clare and Eli arrived at her house a few minutes later. The two of them sat against the bathtub in Clare's bathroom as they held each other's hands while they waited for the test to process Clare's urine to determine if she was pregnant or not.

"How long until we know?" Eli asked as he saw the test on the marble countertop that surrounded the sink.

"Three minutes," Clare replied, looking at the clock on the wall.

Three minutes sounded like a small timespan, but to them it sounded like an eternity. It was taking too long.

"My parents are going to kill us if I am pregnant," Clare stated.

"I don't know what my parents would say," Eli said honestly. He never had anything like this happen to him before, so he had no clue as to what their reactions would be.

"My parents will . . . I don't even want to know how they would react if they found out I'm not a virgin, let alone pregnant at sixteen."

Eli gave her hand a squeeze in comfort.

"It'll be alright. And, if you are expecting and if we decide to keep it, I'll postpone going to university for as long as you need me to."

Clare looked up from the bathroom's white floor tiles. Tears still guarded her eyes, but there was also some relief in them.

"You'd really do that?"

Eli scooted closer to her and put their interlocked hands in his lap.

"You didn't really expect me to leave you and our child alone, did you?"

She couldn't help but grin at him slightly and she gave him a light kiss on the lips.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

They sat there, hands still resting on Eli's thigh in a tense muteness for the remaining time.

"It's been three minutes," she informed him.

Eli took in and let out a breath before he and Clare stood up. She closed her eyes and blindly reached for the test with one of her hands while she used the other one to squeeze his hand. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she opened her eyes. Eli saw tears swarm her eyes, but he couldn't be sure if they were tears of relief or tears of fear.

"What is it?" he asked tremblingly.

She suddenly flew her arms over his neck, buried her face into his shoulder, and started sobbing.

"Clare?" he questioned worriedly.

"It's negative," she choked out.

"Thank God," he sighed as he hugged her back.

He heard Clare take many breaths. She tried to get her heart rate back to normal when she felt the room spinning. Her knees buckled and she would've fallen to the ground if Eli didn't continue to hold on to her.

"Are okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "Just a bit dizzy."

"You're probably just getting over the rush. Why don't you go lie down?"

"Okay," she nodded. "One second."

Clare regained her balance before picking up the box the test came in and sticking the stick inside. She and Eli went to her room, where she got rid of the evidence by throwing the two items away in her trashcan inside the bag she bought them in.

She kicked off her shoes then collapsed on her bed. Eli sat beside her as she rested her head on the pillows. The last three or four tears of relief exited her eyes. He gently brushed the tears on her right cheek with the back of his hand.

"Everything's fine now," he soothed her.

She grinned at him and took the hand that was rubbing her cheek.

"Are you alright?" she asked him as she held his hand.

He nodded.

"You?" he replied.

"Better now that I know you aren't going to be a dad within the next nine months."

"Me too. Sorry I freaked out and yelled at you at my house."

"You acted calmer than I did. It's not like you were the one who had a breakdown."

"But I did say one of the most insensitive things in the world. I'm sorry I said I us having sex was a bad idea. I didn't mean it."

"It's okay," she said, accepting his apology. "I know you were just scared. So . . . you don't regret it?"

"Absolutely not," he promised her. "It was an amazing night and I will never regret it."

She smiled at him in appreciation. She kissed his hand.

"Thanks for being here," she said to him.

Instead of replying with words, Eli leaned down and virtuously kissed her lips. She reciprocated the kiss before he removed his mouth and rested his head against hers.

"I promised you I wasn't going anywhere, remember?"

She nodded and kissed him one more time.

"You're the best, Elijah."

* * *

"_When everything's wrong_

_I will still be around"_

_~"By Your Side" by Lifehouse_

* * *

Yeah, from the beginning I didn't want Clare to be pregnant, but I wanted there to be a somewhat dramatic build up for the 50th chapter. I, honestly, wouldn't enjoy writing Clare being pregnant in high school simply because so many of them have been written (don't get me wrong, some of them are good, but it's not something I'd write about). So to all you who didn't want Clare pregnant, you can now breathe and be reassured that I have no intention of getting Clare pregnant while she's in high school. For those who wanted her to be carrying Eli's child, I'm sorry to disappoint you. Hopefully you guys will forgive me after the next chapter when . . . well, you'll have to wait and see. The more reviews I get, the sooner I'll update! So review everyone!


	50. Valentine

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

AMAZING! SERIOUSLY GUYS, OVER 400 REVIEWS! YOU ARE ALL AMAZING AND I APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR REVIEWS! Please keep them coming! Thank you possiblyash, ilovetaylorswift13, fffffffffff, klare345, swan, Moonlight Gypsy, eclarefanxxx, PaisleyjacketDeadhand, MiracleDreamer (btw, the good stuff started after EClare made up after the Kate problem and it's up to the reader when it ends), RachRox12, tiff, DegrassiCat, sushi.23, degrassiluver15, bRiiy, kylieegirl, J.A.L.L, eclarewinsthewar, DegrassianLove, Blarg, and My world of Eli for reviewing last chapter! You guys have _no_ idea how much those reviews mean to me!

I actually rewrote this chapter because I thought of a better idea than what I originally had and that's why I didn't update sooner. I have to edit a few other chapters so it could fit the scenario that's going to happen in this one. I am probably going to be spending a bit more time editing than I planned, so would highly appreciate any review! PWEASE! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi and I have the pie to prove it.

* * *

Chapter Fifty

Valentine

Eli was in relief for a few hours after Clare took the test, then he began to second-guess everything once he got home later that night and wondered if it could've be a false negative. Unable to take the uncertainty, he called Clare around three when he knew she would be home from church the next day and expressed his concerns.

"Calm down," she instructed him as he nearly had his panic attack over the phone. "I know for sure I'm not pregnant."

"How do you know?"

"I looked up morning sickness and what I couldn't be that because it doesn't usually appear until after a month after the intercourse; it's barely only two weeks."

"But not every pregnancy is the same," he mentioned.

"I also started my . . . time of the month last night," she said feeling slightly uncomfortable. She felt awkward talking to Eli about her womanly issues, so she avoided all conversations about them if she could.

"But isn't it possible to get some bleeding when a woman is expecting?" he asked of her.

"I thought of that as well, so I went to the store and I got three additional tests and all of them were negative."

At these words, he was finally able to release the breath he'd been holding in since she told him that she could be carrying his child.

"You okay now?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "And extremely relieved."

"Me too," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too."

()()

Clare texted Eli the next morning to tell him that she wouldn't need a ride to school since her dad was dropping her off. He arrived at Degrassi a few minutes earlier than usual and waited by her locker. Now that he knew for sure that the worst was over as far as this pregnancy scare, he just wanted to take Clare in his arms and share in his relief.

He saw her come down the hall. The minute she was in reaching distance, he gave her a hug that she returned, obviously just as relieved as he was. It was gentle, yet strong and it was exactly what Clare needed after suffering nine extra minutes waiting for the three additional tests.

"How are you feeling?" Eli asked her tenderly when she was released from his hold.

"Much better," she replied honestly. "I guess what I had must've been a stomach virus or a really bad case of PMS. Either way, we're not going to be parents anytime soon."

"Thankfully," he agreed. "If you wanted me there when you took the extra tests, you know I would've come."

"It would've been too suspicious if you came and then spent minutes in the bathroom since my dad was home."

"Good point," he acknowledged. "But, hypothetically, if you were . . . with child, what would we do?"

Clare simply shrugged, shook her head, and sighed.

"Unless I actually was, I can't honestly say."

"Fair enough," he complied.

"What about you? Do you think you would have some idea?"

"Since you would be the one . . . you know, I would listen to what you would have wanted and then probably think about what you said and then either agree or disagree."

"Then we could both decide since it would be our baby?"

"I would like you to hear my side, but you would ultimately being the one giving birth and stuff, so you can make the final call."

Clare grinned. He was giving input since it would've been his child and he was being responsible about it instead of running away. However, he also understood that keeping a baby at their age would've been difficult, so he was going to respect her wish if she decided against it. It was a perfect mixture and she was highly appreciative of this.

"If I decided to keep it, you would still be around, right?" she asked nervously.

"Sweetheart, of course I would," Eli replied with nothing less than complete honesty. He then pulled her into another hug, but this was a hug of reassurance and comfort instead of a hug of greeting and relief.

"I was so terrified," she told him, trying not to lose control since she was always hormonal during this time of the month. "I was worried about what our parents would say, our future, our relationship, if it would be healthy . . ."

"I know," he reassured, caressing her back. "But everything's okay now."

"Can we keep this between us?" she asked of him.

"Sure," he agreed.

She turned her head and kissed his neck in gratitude.

"Thanks for everything, Eli."

She pulled out of the hug and opened her locker.

"I don't really deserve that much thanks," he told her, leaning against the locker next to hers.

"Of course you do," she protested as she rummaged through the materials in her locker.

"What about the way I reacted when you told me that you could've been pregnant? I feel horrible about that," he confessed.

"Don't worry about it," she assured him.

"I'm really sorry," he said, overlooking what she just said.

"It's alright," she restated.

"No, it's not."

"It is," she told him sternly.

"I shouldn't have yelled and I shouldn't have said us having sex was a bad idea."

"Eli, you apologized for this already," she reminded him.

"And now I'm apologizing again. I'm really, really, _really_ sorry."

"I understand why you were like that. I probably would've acted the same way if you told me you were pregnant."

Clare realized what just came out of her mouth and she started laughing, Eli joining her.

"I did not mean that the way it sounded," she said having she caught her breath from laughing.

"I knew what you meant," he assured her. "But, if I was carrying you child, I would like you to be there with me."

"You know I would."

"Really?" he continued in his teasing matter.

Clare frolicsomely rolled her eyes.

"I'll even cut the umbilical cord."

"Okay, I'm getting freaky images in my head now," Eli stated, trying to remove the pictures Clare had just embedded in his brain.

"Me too," she said. "Let's just stop this conversation."

"Consider it stopped. But there is something else I wish to discuss with you."

"What's that?" she asked as she closed her locker and faced him.

"I think it's time that we take a day just for the two of us to be together," Eli said as he put a hand on her hip and took a step towards her. "Since you've been sick and stuff and because you'll be working all week, we won't be able to spend much time together. What do you say we do something on Saturday?"

Clare, who desired nothing more than to get away from the world with her boyfriend, grinned at the idea.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Nothing huge," he said. "How does a little visit to our place sound to you?"

"You don't have to ask me twice," she accepted as the bell rang overhead. "Walk me to class?"

"I'd love to," he accepted as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and leading her down the hall towards her History class.

"So how's your life? You've been taking care of me so much I haven't really given you the chance to tell me what's going on with you."

"Well . . . going through life as usual. I'm also getting ready to send my application for the University of Ottawa."

"That's great," she congratulated. "That's where you've been wanting to go since you were thirteen, right?"

"The very same," he replied. "Now we just have to wait and see if they accept me."

"Well, think positively," she encouraged.

"Alright. And here we are," he said as they arrived at the door of her classroom. "Au revior."

"Au revior," she replied as he unhooked his arm from her. "And babe," she began, grabbing his hand before he left, "I know I'm not pregnant but, if I was, I'm glad you would've been the father of the baby."

Flattered by this comment, he leaned in and kissed her lips.

"I love you," he said as he broke the kiss.

"I love you too," she said.

"I'll see after your French class," he promised.

"See you then."

()()

The next week went by at its normal pace and Clare was glad to get back into the swing of things at Degrassi. In spite of being on her period, she had a fairly decent week. She was glad that she was back in school, helping with the play, and working at the Dot. What made her the happiest, however, was when Saturday came so she was able to go on her date with Eli.

He picked her up at three that afternoon and they rode straight to the abandoned church. Once they climbed out of the hearse, Eli walked to the back and left Clare by her door for a second. He came towards her a few seconds later with a black blanket draped over his arm.

"Up for one of our urban adventures?" he asked.

"Sure," she nodded; they haven't had one of these since summer and, in all honesty, she missed going on them with Eli by her side.

"Come on then," he said, taking her hand. He led her towards the woods and they entered them.

"Where are we going?" she asked as he pulled her through the trees.

"I'm not sure yet," he admitted. "But I'll let you know once we're there."

"If you don't know where we're going, how do you know when we're there?"

"Gut feeling," he told her. "It wouldn't be much of an adventure if you know where you're going, would it?" he added with a smirk.

He led her through the trees and brush, never letting her go of her hand as they moved. The deeper they went into the woods, the more trees they had to maneuver around. They walked for a few minutes in almost complete silence until Eli stated that they had found their destination.

"And . . . here we are."

They emerged from the trees and came to a small area of clear land that was surrounded by more trees. A few rays of sun were a spotlight on the grass and dead leaves through the opening that existed above them.

"Whoa," Clare said, admiring the near perfect circle of trees that surrounded the ground.

"See, following my gut isn't such a bad idea," he smirked.

Clare kiddingly rolled her eyes as he laid out the blanket onto the ground and the two of them lied down and stared at the clouds that were above them. Clare was laying her head on Eli's chest as his arm was secured around her shoulders.

"So have you submitted your application to Ottawa yet?" she asked after a few minutes of quiet, recalling what he told her on Monday.

"Just sent it yesterday; we should know if I'm getting into it in a few weeks."

"Do you think they're gonna accept you?" she asked.

"I have no idea. I mean, my grades are acceptable, but I'm not sure if they're good enough. Plus there's my record."

"Yeah, you are a hardcore criminal," Clare joked, trying to cheer him up while seeing how concerned he was. "I'm sure the grades are good enough and they'll accept you."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Eli grinned at her confidence in him.

"Thanks," he said, showing off his smile.

"Don't mention it," she said.

She then kissed Eli's jaw and lingered there for a while. She heard him take some excited breaths when Clare decided to tend to his neck. He moaned pleasantly as he felt her tongue trace one of the veins in his neck.

"Eli . . ." she breathed, removing her mouth from him.

"Yes?" he replied, feeling his heart hammer in his chest.

She lifted her head up and met his eyes for a minute as she raked her fingers on her left hand through his hair.

"Catch me if you can!" she then dared with a smile. She darted up off the ground and sprinted a few feet away from him.

"Tease!" he accused as he went after her. She looked over her shoulder and laughed at him before running away. He chased after her until he caught up with her. She was near the edge of the woods ten seconds later when he was finally able to catch her.

"Gotcha!" he declared as he snatched her around the waist.

"Not for long you don't," she states.

She somehow gets out of his hold and runs towards the trees. He follows her until she pauses at the edge of the woods. She backed up against a thick tree and she stopped. Before she could go anywhere, Eli pinned his hands against the trunk of the tree over each of her shoulders.

"I got you now," he observes.

"I guess so," she said playfully. "You seem to have me surrounded."

"Then I guess there's no chance of you escaping," he smirked.

She chuckled before giving him a peck on his lips. She wrapped her fingers around his belt-loops and took the small step she had to take to be right against his body. She put her lips next to his ear and nibbled on it for a minute.

"Do you know what I love?" she whispered in his ear.

"What?" he asked, shivers continuously going down his spine.

"Driving you crazy," she replied.

"And you do a very good job at it," he informed.

She grinned was about to put her lips to his when she said, "I know." Instead of kissing him, she smirked and ducked under his arms so she was no longer against the tree. She knew she was teasing Eli, but it was too much fun to not to. He closed his eyes as he stood there absolutely dumbfounded.

"You do a very, _very_ good job at it," he restated.

He lifted his eyelids again when he saw the bark of the tree and then an idea hit him. He pulled out a pocketknife that he occasionally carried with him since the Vegas Night incident over a year ago. He tore off a piece of dead bark clearing away some dirt on it. He didn't notice his girlfriend standing right behind him.

"What are you doing?" Clare asked, curiously.

"You'll see," he told her. "Don't look yet."

"Okay," she agreed taking a few steps back.

Ten minutes later, Clare was lying on the blanket again while Eli created his masterpiece. He was committing all his focus on his creation; he wanted it to be perfect even though it was his first time carving anything into a tree. He made the markings deep so they would stand out better and last longer. He blew on it to remove all excess bark and dirt.

"Alright," he called, closing his knife and putting it back in his jacket pocket.

Clare got off the blanket and stepped towards him, fascinated to see what he had been working on for the last quarter of an hour.

"Ta-da," he presented, gesturing to the tree before standing behind her.

Clare turned to the tree and couldn't help but smile at what she saw.

_CLARE & ELI_ were the two names etched on its trunk and it had a heart around it. She grinned at his handiwork while he looped his arms around her.

"What do you think?"

"It's wonderful," she admired, still amazed that Eli made it. "It looks really good."

"Beginner's luck, I guess," he admitted.

She turned her head to smile at him and give him a quick kiss.

"Do you think it'll still be here years from now?" she asked, turning back to the heart and names implanted in the wood.

"Do you think we'll still be together in ten years?" he replied with a question of his own.

"I promised you forever, didn't I?" Clare answered.

Eli simpered and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Then I'll make sure it's still here years from now even if I have to come back every day."

()()

They gazed at the tree for a few more minutes before Eli and Clare lied back down on the blanket in the middle of the ground. They spent the next hour or so staring at the clouds and talking. Clare was now on top of Eli's body as she looked into his eyes.

"This is exactly what we needed," he stated as he stroked her auburn hair.

"Yeah," she agreed. "No school, no drama, nothing but the two of us."

"Exactly."

Clare looked at the trees, leaves, grass, and the tree with the words Eli carved into it and grinned.

"I love this place," she said. "I'm glad we found it."

"So am I. And, honestly, I'd rather not be anywhere else with anyone else."

"That's ironic. I feel the same way."

Eli wrapped other his arm around her back while he continued to play with the ends of her hair.

"I love you," she told him while they rested their foreheads against each other's.

"I love you too," he whispered.

"I'm never going to get tired of hearing you say that."

Their lips met and caressed each other's for countless minutes; Clare put a hand over his heart as he put the arm that wasn't around her back around her shoulders, therefore abandoning her locks. She eventually pulled her lips from his and looked at him, her face now turning serious and slightly apprehensive.

"Um . . . I've been doing a lot of thinking since I found out I could've been pregnant and . . . I don't think we should have sex again for a while," she admitted. She had that very thought circulating in her head all day and she had just now gotten the courage to tell this to him.

"Why?" he asked; he wasn't crestfallen or surprised, just inquisitive.

"Well, not because I don't want to," she said firstly. "But because if we do keep doing it and if I eventually do get pregnant, it's going to be difficult for us to have a relationship and I'm sure there'll be some problems. I just want things to get better from here and not worse."

Clare remained still on him for a few seconds, waiting for his response. She didn't want him to be upset since she promised him they would do it in Morty and she didn't want him angry because she was delaying it. But, as usual, Eli gave her relief and reassured her that he was caring and that he respected her decisions.

"Okay, I understand that," he said.

"You do?" she said, assurance washing over her.

"Yeah. We already had a great relationship before, so it isn't going to change anything."

"And we only did it that one night, so it's not like we've been doing it every chance we got," Clare added.

"Precisely," he replied.

"So you're okay with this?" she made sure.

"Absolutely," he answered with a nod.

She smiled at him before giving him a quick, gentle kiss.

"You're the greatest," Clare commended while she laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

"No, you're the greatest," he argued playfully.

Clare chuckled before Eli rubbed his hand over her spine a few times. Although they had sex already, it still didn't matter to him if they have it their relationship or not. He could never make love to Clare again but still be happy knowing that they were completely devoted to each other.

Eli inhaled and exhaled before speaking again.

"Clare?"

"Mm-hmm?" she hummed.

Eli grinned at her sound and took another breath.

"Have you ever wondered if what we have is just a high school romance?" he asked her.

Clare took a breath of her own before answering.

"When we first started dating, I thought we would last a few months, maybe a bit longer. But ever since I told you that I loved you, I've been thinking about us more and more and I actually think we can have a future together. What about you?"

"I don't think we have a high school romance at all," he admitted. "If I thought what we had was just that, I wouldn't be telling you that I want to be with you forever."

"And you do?" she asked, wanting to be absolutely sure he meant every word he was saying.

"I _really_ do."

"I really want to be with you forever as well."

Eli grinned and kissed her head before laying his head back on the blanket.

"Now when you say we could have a future, does that include writing a novel or two together?"

Clare nodded against his chest.

"And . . . possibly moving in together one day?" he asked anxiously.

"Possibly," she repeated.

"And . . . maybe even . . . getting married?" he was finally able to say. He felt his heart beating in his ears because he was so nervous to ask it.

Time seemed to stand still for a whole second while a million things happened at once. Her heart thumped in her chest, her stomach did a cartwheel, and she stopped breathing. Clare opened her eyes and lifted her head up to look at him.

"Eli, are you asking me to marry you?"

Eli attempted to sit up; to make it easier for him, Clare got off him and sat next to him. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a blue, velvet box before turning to her.

"I'm asking you to wait for me so we can eventually get engaged and then potentially get married."

He opened the lid of the box to reveal its contents within. There was a silver band surrounded by a fortress of the blue velvet of the box. The top of the ring formed a simple heart.

"It's a promise ring," he explained. "I know you wouldn't want to get engaged in high school, but it's clear that we both meant it when we said that we were the ones for each other and we want to be together forever. So, Clare Diana Edwards, will you become my wife one day?"

Clare gazed at Eli's green eyes as he spoke and she knew he was speaking nothing short of the truth. She saw nothing except love, honesty, and complete devotion as he presented the ring to her. She sat there in a state of shock, tears coming to her eyes. However, they weren't tears of sadness. They came down her face and Eli immediately looked worried since he couldn't tell that she was crying liquid happiness.

"Clare, I don't want to push you to do anything, so if you don't want to –."

"Yes," she interrupted jubilantly as she wiped the tears off her face.

Eli felt an astonished smile come to his face, but he wasn't sure if he heard correctly.

"Did you just say –?"

"Yes," she repeated.

Overwhelmed with extreme merriment, Clare threw her arms around him and he did the same to her.

"Wait, you didn't promise to marry any other girls when you were a kid, did you?" she teased with a smile as she leaned out to look at him, but she still held him.

"No," he replied, remembering what he said to Kate over a decade ago.

"Then, Elijah Nicholas Goldsworthy, I would _love _to become your wife someday."

Overjoyed, Eli pulled Clare into another warm embrace and she held onto him with all her strength.

"I know I say this a lot, but I love you so much," Eli told her.

"I love you too," Clare replied before she linked her lips to his.

They soon ended the kiss and leaned out of their holds on each other.

"One more thing to take care of," Eli said as he took the ring out of its box. He took Clare's left hand and slid the piece of jewelry onto her ring finger, which had been absent of any ring since the night she took off her purity ring. The promise ring fit perfectly and she smiled at it, trying to fathom that this was really happening.

"Eli, this is so beautiful."

Eli grinned at how happy she was.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to spend the rest of your life with me?" he asked.

"Who else would I spend it with?" she smirked. "So . . . if we're not engaged, what are we?"

"We are . . . in love," he concluded. "And we're waiting patiently to become engaged and someday get married."

She beamed at him, tears of pleasure continuing to sting her eyes.

"That works for me," she said before capturing his in a kiss once again.

Clare couldn't believe that this morning she woke up as Eli's girlfriend, but she would be going to sleep as his future fiancée. And, in time, she would be going to bed as his fiancée, then going to sleep the next day as his wife.

* * *

"_I will give you my heart _

_Until the end of time_

_You're all I need_

_My love, my valentine"_

_~"Valentine" by Martina McBride_

* * *

I thought about leaving this chapter on a cliffhanger, but I decided against it. You're welcome! You should reward me with reviews!


	51. The Aftermath

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Okay, BEST REVIEWERS EVER! Thanks everyone! I published that chapter before I went to bed and I woke up to these reviews with more coming in! I love you all and appreciate all reviews! Let's keep them rolling in! A special shout out to tiff: your review made me tear up a bit because it was so sweet! Thank you! Oh, and to My world of Eli, I added an Adam scene in this chapter just for you!

If I have time, I'll probably make a Vlog and put it on YouTube to explain what was originally going to happen in the last chapter and how that was going to affect the story compared to what we have now. Who would want to see that? Shutting up now! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . but that's obvious to see. Hey, that kind of rhymed!

* * *

Chapter Fifty-One

The Aftermath

It was the first Monday of March and Clare was still over the hills with joy even though it had been a couple of days since Eli asked her to marry him. She couldn't believe that he loved her so much that he wanted to become her husband and spend the rest of his life with her. The thought lifted her spirits and made her heart go crazy.

They didn't tell anyone yet, but they both decided that the first person they were going to tell was the one who put up with them the most. They saw Adam at his locker when they entered Degrassi that morning while they walked down the hall hand-in-hand.

"Do you want to tell him?" Clare asked Eli as they made their way towards him.

"Scared to break it to him?" he guessed kiddingly.

"I just don't know how he's going to react," she answered.

"I'm sure he'll be happy for us," Eli assured her.

They were silent when they approached Adam, Clare's hand gripping Eli's.

"Hi, Adam," Clare greeted, becoming more and more anxious to tell him their wonderful news.

"Hi, guys," Adam replied as he closed his locker. "How was your weekend?"

"Great," she answered. She turned her head to Eli, who was looking at her with a grin, before turning back to Adam. "We actually have something to tell you. Since you helped us a lot with our problems and were there for us with all the Kate drama, we think you deserve to be the first to know."

"Know what?" Adam asked. He was not exactly sure where this was going, but he was evoked since they looked so exultant.

Clare looked at Eli as he began to speak directly to his best friend.

"Well, the two of us have been together for a while and we both obviously love each other very much –."

"Obviously," Adam restated.

"Yeah, so . . . Clare and I have decided that . . . we're going to get married one day."

Clare then turned to Adam to see his reaction. She was pleased and relieved to see that he was smiling.

"Well it's about freaking time!" he exclaimed. "If you guys didn't make a kind of decision like that before prom, I was going to say something."

"I told you he'd be happy," Eli said to Clare when she finally loosened her grasp on his hand.

"Of course I'm happy," he grinned. "Congratulations. Does this mean I can be best man at your wedding?"

"The slot is all yours."

The trio was overly joyful for the remainder of the day. Adam was so happy for his best friends that he didn't even complain whenever Eli and Clare shared a few kisses in front of him. He was truly happy for them; they were the most devotional couple he had ever seen and he knew they were capable of being together until the day they died because if they couldn't, who else would?

The couple was now sitting on a bench outside the Dot so they could spend time together before her shift started. Eli's arm was around her shoulders as she continued to stare at her promise ring.

"Still in a daze?" he guessed.

Clare smiled and looked at him.

"Obviously. I still can't believe you asked," she admitted.

"I can't believe you said yes."

"Why wouldn't I? You're the one, right?"

"True and I asked you because you're the one."

"I think it's safe to say we're meant to be together," Clare believed.

"I'm not arguing with that," Eli agreed. "I love you."

"I love _you_," she echoed before she put her lips to his.

He kissed her back with no hesitation. He knew this was just the start of his and Clare's life together. They were getting married one day and then he'd be able to spend the rest of his days with the greatest person he would ever meet.

They grinned at each other euphorically as the kiss ended. He took her left hand and he looked at her ring and she did the same.

"Do you like your ring?" he asked her.

"I love it," she told him honestly. They both looked up at each other again while he grinned in relief; he wanted to get Clare really nice ring, but he only had so a small amount of money so he got her the best one he could find within his budget.

"I would've gotten you something nicer, but I could only go so far into my savings."

"Eli, you could've given me a plastic ring from a toy vending machine and I would've loved it all the same because you asked me to marry you."

"Really?" he asked.

"You know me," she shrugged. "You don't have to do much to make me happy. And that's one of the things I love about you; you're one of the few people I know who can make me smile make me feel better whenever I need it no matter what."

They exchange small smiles again before connecting their lips for the second time. While they did this, Eli put his hand on Clare's hip as she attached her own to the nape of his neck. They continued to kiss passionately until they heard Eli's phone start ringing.

"Sorry," he said regretfully before he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Hi . . . yeah . . . um, sure . . . both of us . . . okay, we'll be there soon . . . bye."

"Everything okay?" Clare asked.

"CeCe just asked the two of us to come to my house. Evidently my parents want to talk to us about something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. I didn't tell them about you possibly being pregnant or us having sex; I have no idea what this could be about," Eli answered as they walked towards Morty.

()()

The two of them drove down the street in a curious silence. They arrived at Eli's house ten minutes later and climbed out of the hearse, still having no clue as to why his parents wanted to speak with them.

"Do you think they want to talk to us about me agreeing to marry you?"

"I didn't mention it to them, so that can't be it," he answered.

They stepped into the house and turned into the living room.

"We're here. What's going –?" Eli began, but he quickly stopped talking when he saw not only his parents in the room, but Clare's as well. The Edwards didn't look happy in the slightest. Randall's face was brick red with fury while Helen's eyes were filled with animosity.

"What are you guys doing here?" Clare asked nervously, noticing her parents' enraged expressions.

"We all need to have a talk," Helen said, her voice more terrifying than her facial features.

"Is everything alright?" Eli asked apprehensively as he and Clare walked into the living room. Randall let out a bark of sarcastic laughter in response.

"We need to talk," she repeated after her ex-husband's outburst.

Eli and Clare then sat down on the couch side-by-side while Helen stood in front of them, the coffee table being the only object between them. Randall positioned himself next to her, arms crossed. CeCe and Bullfrog were standing there as well. They didn't look angry, but they seemed mildly worried. The couple sat there, having no idea what was going on and they were terrified to find out.

"Is something wrong?" Clare asked timidly.

Her mother then pulled something out of her back pocket.

"What are these about?" Helen demanded as she held up a small, rectangular box. "And you better tell me the truth."

Clare saw what is was and gulped before looking at the ground. Helen was holding up a box of her birth control pills.

"Where did you find those?" she asked with a hoarse whisper.

"I came home from work and I saw them on the ground. I'm guessing they fell out of your purse when you left the house this morning. How long have you been on them and where did you get them?"

Clare bit her lip then took a deep breath.

"I've been on them since September and I got them from this girl from school. But it's not what you think," she began to lie. "They help my cramps during my cycle."

Her mother shook her head, evidently seeing through her tall tale.

"Clare, if it was as simple as cramps, I know you would've come to me by now," Helen stated. "Or you wouldn't try to hide it. I think what's going on is pretty clear."

"And . . . what do you think is going on?" Clare asked, getting more and more frightened. She knew that everyone in that room was going to find out about her and Eli making love sooner or later, but she really just wanted to delay the inevitable explosion from her parents.

"I think you know," CeCe said calmly yet tensely; she didn't have a problem with having sex before marriage, but she was hoping that her own son didn't do it with Clare because she was supposed to be waiting.

"Have you two been having sex?" Randall tried to ask in calmest manner possible, but everyone heard the infuriation in his voice.

Eli turned to Clare for some kind of signal for him to speak or not, but she was continuing to watch the floor. Everyone took their silence as an answer. Helen shook her head in an obvious disappointment before slamming the pills on the coffee table. She had tears of anger and calamity in her eyes. Randall remained stone-faced and furious as he glared at the two teenagers. Bullfrog and CeCe stood there in a state of shock and a mild disappointment; they knew of Clare's beliefs and they couldn't believe that Eli went against them.

"It was one night," Clare finally admitted, her face turning red.

"When?" Helen snapped immediately after her daughter spoke.

"When you and Dad were both out of town last month, Eli and I went to that concert . . . and he was about to leave me at home, I asked him to stay, one thing led to another and . . ." she trailed off, knowing they would get the idea. She knew that they would get the whole story out of her with time, so she decided to get it over with.

"Unbelievable," Helen huffed.

"I didn't plan for it to happen when you guys were out of town. I just got this feeling and it just . . . happened."

"Clare, what have we always told you?" her father questioned harshly.

"That I should wait till I'm married," she quoted.

"Exactly," he said. "So what were you thinking? You broke your vow."

"I know you guys are angry and disappointed, but –."

"I am _beyond_ angry and disappointed," Randall stated.

The Goldsworthy family remained rooted on the spot, unsure of what to do or how to react. Eli just wanted to take Clare by the hand and get her out of the room so her parents would stop yelling at her and scolding her in front of his mother and father. CeCe and Bullfrog were put in this uncomfortable situation and thought of how to intervene, but they had no clue what to say or do.

"We don't do it every chance we get. It only happened that one night and everything has been pretty much normal between us since then."

"That doesn't make it any better, Clare!"

While Clare continued to stare at the ground, Eli glanced at her parents. Their faces were horribly angry and it made him feel terrible that they were so upset with their daughter about this. He also didn't find it fair that everyone was only beating down on Clare at this point when this wasn't just her doing.

"I don't understand," Bullfrog expressed at last. "If you guys didn't . . . until now, why did you start taking them in September?"

"B-Because –," Clare stammered.

"Because I asked her to go on them back in September," Eli spoke. Everyone averted their eyes to Eli; even Clare broke her eye staring contest with the floor because she was so perplexed to hear what Eli was saying.

"What?" Bullfrog said in disbelief.

"I told Clare that I loved her in September and I suggested that we take our relationship to the next level and I convinced her to go on birth control and to let me know when she was ready for us to have sex."

"Elijah Nicholas Goldsworthy!" CeCe rebuked. "You know that you shouldn't ask someone that! Especially if they promised to wait until they're married!"

"I know," Eli said.

Clare couldn't believe that he was lying, putting his own skin in jeopardy, when he knew that wasn't what happened at all.

"Mr. and Mrs. Edwards," he continued, facing her parents. The looks on their faces made him uneasy, but he stood his ground. "Please don't be mad at Clare for breaking her vow; she wouldn't have done it if I didn't ask her in the first place."

"We trusted you," Helen said with disappointment in Eli.

"I apologize," he said, attempting to look guilty and remorseful.

"That's not good enough," Bullfrog snapped. "Not this time. You know Clare had her beliefs and we thought you had more respect for her than that."

"I do," Eli said. "I just . . . I just . . ."

"Couldn't control yourself?" Randall assumed.

"Basically," he nodded before turning to his girlfriend, who still wore a bemused expression on her face. "And Clare, it was wrong for me to ask you to go on the pills. I'm sorry."

"What are you doing?" she quietly hissed at him, being the only other person in this room who knew he was lying.

"Play along," he whispered back. None of the four parents seemed to notice the small conversation they just had since they were having one of their own.

"We are so sorry," CeCe said to the elder Edwards. "We didn't raise him to be this way. We thought he knew the limits as to how far this relationship could go and that sex was out of the question; we never would've imagined in a million years that he would suggest such as thing to Clare."

"We told him that saying anything like that was unacceptable," Bullfrog said.

"Well, obviously that wasn't enough," Randall said.

The parents exchanged these words as Clare sat there by Eli. Sure, what he did was admirable, but it wasn't fair for their parents to assume the worst of him based on a lie.

"Wait, that's not what happened," she said, no longer standing for Eli to take the blame.

"You don't have to defend him," Bullfrog told her.

"Yeah, Clare, you _don't _have to defend me," Eli said, looking her straight in the eye, knowing what she was about to do.

"But that's not what really happened. Nearly the opposite happened, actually. He didn't even know I was on the pill until that night."

Clare took a breath, preparing herself to reveal the truth to the two people she'd been keeping it from for so long.

"A few nights after Eli said he loved me, I did a lot of thinking and I decided, on my own, that I wanted to . . . _be_ with him one day and I thought there was a chance that we wouldn't get married, but I really loved him and that overpowered everything in me and I got the pills from Bianca. I waited until the moment felt right and it did that night."

Eli knew that Clare was already in hot water with her parents and telling them this was just going to make everything worse for her.

"She's just trying to –," he attempted to protest.

"I'm not trying anything," Clare interrupted Eli. "He just doesn't want me getting into more trouble."

Everyone looked back and forth between the two teenagers. Both stories seemed logical, but they knew only one of them could be true.

"I don't know who to believe," Randall confessed.

"Believe me," Clare ordered before Eli could say a word. She turned her attention directly to her parents. "Not long ago, Eli told you guys that he wouldn't go against my values or beliefs and that sex didn't matter to him. You both saw how sincere he was about it and he still is. He was even supportive when I asked him if we don't do it anymore since –."

"Since you found out you could've been pregnant?" Randall interrupted.

Another issue was now brought to the table and Eli and Clare both knew that they were in for it now. Clare looked at her father, astounded that he found out about the pregnancy scare.

"How did –?"

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out," Helen stated. "You guys had sex, then you got sick a few weeks later. What else were we supposed to think?"

Clare, embarrassment forming inside her again since they were having this discussion in front of her boyfriend's parents, looked at the edge of the coffee table.

"Are you pregnant, Clare?" CeCe asked tenderly.

"No," she answered. "I took four tests and all of them were negative."

"Well, I want to take you to see a doctor just in case," Helen said.

"Mom, I got my period and I don't feel sick anymore."

"I'm taking you to see one anyway."

"Eli, why didn't you tell us any of this?" Bullfrog then chimed in. Eli usually told his parents a lot, but he was surprised to find out that his son kept this in the dark for so long.

"I asked him to keep it quiet so no one would find out we had sex," Clare explained.

"Why did you keep it quiet when you found out you could've been pregnant?" Helen asked with frustration, a bit hurt that her daughter wouldn't come to her with such a big problem. "Do you know how much of a big deal that is at your age? What if you were, what you going to do? Hide it for nine months or get an abortion without letting any of us know about it?"

Clare's face flushed red with both humiliation and anger. She just wanted to leave the house and escape her parents as soon as possible.

"No, I would've told you if I was, but I'm not," Clare answered. "And I didn't come to you guys when I first suspected it because I knew this would be how you would react. You two wouldn't have even bothered to see why I wanted to have sex; you guys are treating me like I'm an irresponsible slut when I really had a fair reason for doing it. I'm sorry that I hurt you guys, but this is my life and I decided that I wanted to give myself to someone I've never felt so much for. And I don't regret it. I honestly don't regret _any_ of it."

After she said these words, a sudden a flow of confidence replaced the negative feelings within her. She looked at all four of the parents.

"But I'll let you guys know that I wouldn't give my virginity, one of few sacred things I have, to just anyone. In the back of my head for a while, there's been this voice telling me that there was something different about Eli and I still think there is. I love him more than life itself and I care about him more than anything in this world and I've never felt that way about another guy or any other person. So I believe that I'm meant to be with him," she said. She then turned to Eli, who had a mix of surprise and happiness in his eyes, and took his hand. "That is why I'm going to marry him someday."

Helen's jaw dropped in shock at what just came out of Clare's mouth.

"M-Marry?" Randall stuttered, obviously surprised.

"Yes," Clare said, still looking at Eli.

It was clear that no one saw that coming. Eli squeezed her hand and gave her a small grin which she returned. Meanwhile, Randall stood there, feeling absolutely bemused and disapproving. Helen felt the same way and couldn't believe that Clare of all people would agree to do something such as this. Bullfrog was standing there, amazed that Clare was willing to make such a commitment while CeCe thought around the same lines.

"Wait a minute," Helen said once she was finally able to find her voice again. "You two are actually thinking about _getting married_?"

"Yes," Eli and Clare said at the same time, facing their parents.

Randall's face transformed from confused to absolutely furious. The blood was now rushing to his face, not wanting to believe what he had just heard.

"You're sixteen-years-old!" he yelled at Clare.

"I'll be seventeen in a month or so," she reminded him.

"That doesn't make a difference. You're still a teenager and that's still too young to even be considering the idea of marriage."

"Well, I am. But only with Eli."

"Clare, Eli's your first love," Helen reminded her. "Surely you don't honestly believe that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with."

"I believe it. I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

"You two are too young to be considering –."

"We know how we feel," she disputed. "And Eli's everything I want in a future husband plus more and I'll probably never find another guy like him, so why shouldn't I marry him if we're in love _and_ happy?"

"I'm just going to be honest and say that I'm not sure if I'm comfortable about this," Randall stated.

"If you guys don't approve of it, fine," Clare responded. "But, like I've said, this is my life and I can actually see myself spending it with Eli and I really want to."

Her father took a breath and rubbed his eyes for a moment before looking at her again.

"If this is because of the divorce or me seeing Alyson –," he began.

"Oh my God, this isn't about the divorce, or your girlfriend, or anyone else except me and Eli. This isn't something I'm doing out of spite, or rebellion, or anything like that; I'm doing this because I believe Eli is the one I'm supposed to be with."

"Clare, we need to have a long talk about your priorities," Helen sighed in an exhausted aggravation, running distressed hands through her hair.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Clare demanded.

"I'm just saying that you two should wait a few years before –."

"We're not engaged or anything!" Clare spat. "We are going to get married one day, but we're not even considering much until after we're engaged, which probably won't happen until I graduate from Degrassi."

Eli, who believed he had been quiet for far too long, finally spoke.

"Mr. and Mrs. Edwards, we are serious about this. We are in love and we are happy, and –."

"_Teenagers_!" Helen emphasized.

"That doesn't matter," Clare said. "We are both mature, we love each other, and that's not going to change no matter what. If you guys don't like it, that's your problem. Nothing you guys say is going to change how I feel about Eli and what I want to do with him. If we want to have sex and get married, we will and you aren't going to stop us."

"Now wait a minute, young lady –," Randall began to scold. Clare, however, wasn't in the mood to listen to any more of their complaints.

"I need to get to work," she said before standing up, snatching her pills off the table, and leaving the house.

The atmosphere was still and intense. Bullfrog and CeCe were in a state of shock. Never in their lives had they seen Clare so angry; they always saw the side of her that was sweet and kind, but this scenario had since introduced them to her other side.

The Edwards stood there, cold, angry, and disappointed. They didn't look at Eli out of all these feelings towards him and Clare.

Eli was shocked that his girlfriend acted this way while he felt sympathy for her for being pushed to the end of her rope. He slowly got off of the couch and followed Clare. He saw her resting her hands on Morty's hood, taking some deep breaths. He stood behind her and cupped her upper arms.

"Are you okay?"

She turned around quickly, her face and eyes angry.

"Why did you tell them that it was your idea?" Clare demanded of him as she slapped his arm repeatedly. "My parents would've killed you; _your_ _parents_ would've killed you!"

"I was trying to help," he attempted to explain as he bent his arm to avoid her accidentally hitting his face.

"My parents already made me feel like I'm a slut, so the last thing I need is for you to get blamed for something you didn't do. _Why_ _the_ _hell_ _did_ _you_ _do that_?"

"Clare!" he said, raising his voice over hers. He quickly took hold of her wrists before she caused any more damage. She looked at the pavement between their feet and took a breath. She felt terrible for pounding on him like she just did when he was trying to be considerate. Once he was certain she was calm, Eli released her wrists.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I'm just upset."

"I know, babe. I know."

Eli patted a spot on Morty's hood and Clare sat on it. He stood in front of her and put his hands on her hips while she stared down at her legs and continued to avoid his eyes.

"I guess our hope of keeping our first time between us has gone down the drain. First Adam, then Alli, and now our parents," Clare listed sadly. "Why did they have to find out?"

"It was bound to happen sooner or later," he said. "You okay?"

She shrugged before looking at him.

"I just wish they found out at a better time."

He looked at her with empathy before placing a kiss on her jaw.

"At least it's over and done with," he mentioned to her.

"I wanted to tell them when it seemed logical, like after I turned seventeen or something. I was so stupid for dropping the pills," she groaned.

"At least it's over," he attempted to soothe her as he rubbed his hands on her hips.

"No, it's not. My parents are really mad, Eli. I don't think I've ever seen them this disappointed."

"Everything will work itself out eventually and they'll calm down."

"These aren't your parents. It took mine _forever_ to accept the fact that I was dating you, but now I could've been pregnant with your baby and I'm marrying you. They aren't going to let that go overnight."

"But it's going to get better with time, I promise. And you can come over if you ever need to talk or anything."

She gave him an appreciative grin before she kissed his lips and then turning towards the window of his house. The parents were neglecting the sight outside as they talked. None of them looked particularly happy, but Clare noticed that her father was the only one not trying to keep calm. His face was red, the vein in his forehead was throbbing, and she saw his mouth moving angrily as he spoke to the other three adults.

Not wanting to observe anymore, Clare turned back to Eli.

"Drive me to work?" she asked of him.

"Sure."

He took her hands and helped her off the hearse. They climbed inside and soon started driving to the Dot.

"Thanks for trying to take the blame," she told him as he drove. "It was sweet of you to do. And I'm sorry I dropped the bomb on them about us getting married. I wasn't thinking."

"It's alright," he assured her. "I just wish your parents didn't come down so hard on you."

"You know how they are," she said. "I'm probably going to get an earful I get home."

Eli glanced at Clare at it pained him to know that she was speaking the truth. He really didn't want her to get so much grief because of something that had to do with both of them.

"I wish I could be there so you wouldn't have to deal with it all yourself," he finally told her.

"I'll survive. Do you think your parents are going to say anything to you?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "They'll probably lecture me about taking your virginity, but they probably won't say anything about us planning to get married."

"I hope they won't. It would be nice to have some parental support."

They drove to the Dot in almost complete silence after that. Eli pulled up to the front.

"Do you want me to drive you home tonight when you guys finish closing?" he offered as Clare took off her seatbelt.

"I'd like that," she nodded.

He leaned over and gave her a kiss.

"I love you," he told her.

"I love you too," she replied before climbing out of Morty. She looked over her shoulder and gave him a final wave before stepping inside the Dot.

* * *

"_I've been knee deep in water_

_It's time to be set free_

_So devastated_

_The damage has been done"_

_~"The Aftermath" by Escape the Fate_

* * *

When does Degrassi start back up in the US? Sorry this was so long; the ideas wouldn't stop coming! Reviews please!


	52. Careful

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you lovely people for your reviews again! I love seeing new reviewers and all those who keep coming back! Sorry it took me so long to update! Thanks tiff for giving me the kick in the butt to get this updated! This chapter was hard to write, I'm not going to lie, but crazy/extreme things seemed to have happened for three chapters in a row now and I wanted to put in a "normal" chapter before putting in more drama that is coming.

I attempted to make a Vlog to explain what was going to happen originally in Chapter 50, but I then realized that I can't put it up and tell you how it changed the storyline without giving away things that are going to happen later, so I'll wait until a few more chapters are up before I put it on YouTube. Sorry for the delay. And thank you ilovetaylorswift13 for reminding me about that. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi, all the episodes will probably be based on this fic. Since you don't see Eli and Clare together or making plans to get married, I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Two

Careful

Clare went to her locker the next day, glad that she was now able to escape the stares her mother was continuing give her. She rode her bike to Degrassi just so she didn't have to wait for the bus or Eli to pick her up from her house. She had never been so relieved to see the inside of her locker when she was finally able to breathe.

Clare was getting out her History book when a comforting and familiar set of hands placed themselves on her hips.

"Hey," Eli whispered in her ear before he kissed her neck.

A smile was kind enough to grace Clare's up for a matter of seconds until he pulled away.

"My parents talked to me last night about our little arrangement," he informed her.

"And?" she inquired.

"I told them that I was absolutely serious about marrying you one day in the future and they're happy for us."

"And they aren't mad that you have my virginity?"

"Only because you mentioned to our folks that it was your idea," he said. "If they believed my story, however, I'd probably be in deep with them right now."

"Like how we both are with my parents," she muttered to herself, making sure Eli didn't hear her. She closed her locker and faced him.

"How's it going with your parents?" he asked as continued to hold her hips.

"Well, I haven't heard from my dad, my mom barely talked to me last night, and the only time she looked at me was when she gave me these horrible, disgusted looks."

"I'm sorry," he told her sympathetically. "Are you okay?"

Clare shrugged.

"I'd be better if I had enough sense to keep my purse and mouth shut tight."

"It was all going to come out eventually," he reminded her.

"I know that, but it still sucks. It was a dumb thing for –."

"It doesn't matter. They were probably going to be just as mad then as they are now."

She appreciated that Eli was trying to make her feel better, but it wasn't really working, so she just dropped that subject and continued on with what else was going on in her head.

"I'm not sure what they're more upset about: us having sex or getting married."

"Neither is exactly something they wanted to hear when you're sixteen," he told her. "Especially when the other person involved is someone your parents hate."

"They don't hate you," she told him directly although she wasn't exactly sure anymore.

"Clare, your dad wasn't exactly happy when I was there and . . . your mom was still at my house after I dropped you off at work."

Clare's mother neglected to mention that to her last night when she got home, so this was complete news to her.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Well . . ."

_He __was __driving __Morty __home __from __the __Dot, __hoping __his __parents __wouldn__'__t __murder __him __for __going __against __the __Edwards__'__s __wishes __. __. __.__ but __his __parents __were __about __to __be __the __least __of __his __worries._

_He pulled up towards his house and saw through the living room window that Clare's mother was still there. Her eyes were red as though she had been crying. Eli felt a fair amount of guilt; he knew that he was the reason behind those tears. He didn't regret making love to Clare, but he wished that everything in this situation happened differently so everything wouldn't seem so disastrous or chaotic in their parents' eyes._

_His legs felt like lead as he climbed out of Morty and walked towards the house. As he stepped through the front door, Eli realized that this was going to be the first time he was going be in the same room as Helen without Clare by his side. Usually he would've felt nervous; today, however, he was absolutely terrified._

_Deciding to face this head-on, he walked into the living room. It was silent as the Clare's mom and his parents stood there. They all turned to him as he entered. He paused, not sure what else to say or do. He felt the room growing warmer and warmer by the moment. _

_"Can I talk to your son alone?" Helen finally asked._

_CeCe turned to Eli, leaving the decision up to him._

_"It's fine," he assured his parents even though he didn't know what was to come._

_"Alright," CeCe accepted. "We'll be in the kitchen if anyone needs us."_

_She and Bullfrog left the living room, leaving Eli and Helen alone in the same room. To say that it was uncomfortable would've been the understatement of the decade. Helen's arms were folded over her chest and she was glaring at him with the coldest eyes he had ever seen._

_"Mrs. Edwards, Clare and I never meant to hurt anyone," he told her once he was able to find his voice._

_"I just want to know why you think you could just take her virginity and then ask her to marry you and decide to keep it from everyone," she demanded harshly._

_"We were going to say something eventually, but we didn't know when."_

_"Why did you do it?" she snapped. "You knew that Clare's father and I have always expected her to wait until she was married to lose her virginity, but you waltzed in and took it from her like it was nothing."_

_"No, I wouldn't have done it if she didn't want me to."_

_"__It __shouldn__'__t __have __mattered __if __she __wanted __to __or __not! _We _trusted __you!__" __she __emphasized, __restating __something __she __said __hardly __an __hour __ago. __"__We __expected __you __to __have __enough __respect __for __Clare__'__s __religion __and __Randall __and __I __that __you __would __say__ '__no__' __no __matter __what, __but __you __didn__'__t.__"_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"I don't want an apology, Eli. I want you to understand the position this puts me in. I don't want my daughter . . . to date someone who goes against what her father and I wish of her. And we wanted for her to wait until marriage."_

_Eli was hoping to avoid this situation ever since he met Clare's parents, but now it was upon him._

_"You want me and Clare to stop seeing each other?" _

_Helen sighed._

_"That's the conflicting part. Clare is happy with you and she clearly loves you very much, so it'll be cruel for me to tell her to stop seeing you."_

_She took another deep breath rubbed her eyes, trying to figure out her thoughts. She lowered her hands and looked back to Eli._

_"Have you ever slept with any ex-girlfriends?"_

_Eli rolled his lips and looked as his shoes before lifting his head up again and answering._

_"One," he answered awkwardly. "It was before I met Clare."_

_"Did you ask her to marry you afterwards?"_

_"__No,__" __he __replied; __not __once __had __he _thought _about __asking __Julia __to __marry __him, __let __alone __actually __doing __it._

_"Then why did you ask Clare to marry you?"_

_Eli didn't even have to consider his reason._

_"I'm in love with her, I care about her, and I don't want to be with anyone else for as long as I live."_

_"You're a teenager," she stated, shaking her head slowly._

_"That may be, but that doesn't change the way I feel about her."_

_"But the two of you have only been together for a year."_

_"That's long enough for me to know that I want to marry Clare._

_"How can you be so sure?"_

_"I think Clare's the one for me. That's all there is to it . . ."_

". . . And then she left a few minutes later," he concluded.

Clare's guilt resurfaced. All that circled her brain was how Eli wouldn't have had to endure all that if she didn't make that mistake yesterday.

"This is my fault," she restated. "If I didn't drop those pills, we wouldn't be having this conversation because my mom wouldn't have found them, they wouldn't have come to your house, and you wouldn't –."

"Clare," he interrupted. "It's alright. It was an accident."

"No," she protested. "It took you _forever_ for my parents to finally approve of me dating you and everything, but now –."

"It's alright," he repeated before coiling his arms around Clare's waist and hugging her. She wasn't crying, but Eli could easily tell that she was upset. He hoped that giving her a loving embrace would help her if only a little. "It's alright."

He rubbed his hand up and down her spine repeatedly to soothe her. She nestled her head in the crook of his neck.

"Your parents will accept this eventually. It's just going to take time," he assured her.

"I know. Dealing with them until then isn't going to be easy though."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere if you ever need a friend."

"And if I need more than a friend?"

"I'll be here then, too."

"Thank you," she said, holding him tighter.

Adam was now coming down the hall and he saw Clare holding on to Eli. Worriedly, he went straight to them.

"What's going on?" he asked with concern.

Clare loved Adam like a brother, but right now she just wanted to be with Eli and away from everyone else in the world.

"Clare, are you okay?" he asked when neither of them answered.

"I'll tell you later," Eli mouthed to Adam as he held Clare. Adam nodded in understanding before walking away.

Clare slowly leaned out of the hug and looked at Eli.

"I needed that," she told him appreciatively.

He gently kissed her forehead before looking down with his affectionate eyes.

"You know you'll always have me, right?" he proclaimed.

"Right," she said with a weak grin.

He kissed her lips chastely before the bell rang through the halls.

"Can I walk you to class?"

"Please do," she replied before he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and began to lead her down the halls.

()()

"_They __know_?" Adam screeched in the middle of his and Eli's Calculus class minutes later.

"Mr. Torres is there a problem?" the teacher asked from the front of the classroom.

"No, ma'am," Adam said. "Sorry."

He and Eli were getting started on a bunch of problems they were supposed to complete when Eli decided to tell Adam what happened the night before.

"So, the Edwards and your parents now know that you and Clare . . . took part in intercourse –."

"Dude, trying to say it all fancy-like isn't going to make you saying it any less weird," Eli told him bluntly, knowing Adam was just trying to avoid certain words.

"Whatever, _that_ and now they know you two are getting married?"

Eli nodded as attempted to solve an equation.

"Her parents must be pissed."

"They're _beyond_ that. Remember how I really wanted for them to like me so they would approve of me being Clare's boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Adam recalled.

"Well, all of that went down the drain yesterday."

"It's not like it was going to remain secret forever."

"I know," Eli said, recalling the fact that he had said similar words to Clare minutes before. "I just feel really bad for Clare because her parents are angry and she's beating herself up about it."

"Me too," Adam reciprocated. "Your parents are cool about it and hers are . . . well . . ."

"Beyond pissed," he restated.

"Exactly," Adam said. "How is she taking everything?"

"Not well," he answered.

That was what upsetting Eli more than anything. He and Clare were in love, so her parents shouldn't have been judging her for having sex or anything. It was their lives and it was their turn to live them.

After class, he was walking down the hall and saw Clare sitting on a bench against the wall reading the book they now had to read for English. She still looked as depressed as she was an hour ago and he felt terrible. She was a sweet, kind, gentle person who always thought about others so why was she the one going through hell with her family?

"Mind if I pull up a seat?" he asked of her after he walked down the hall to be with her. She looked up to see who was speaking to her and a grin came to her lips when she saw it was her future husband.

"If you wish," she replied.

"And I do," Eli stated before taking the seat next to her. He wrapped an arm around her waist before planting a quick kiss on her lips. "How's it going?"

"Fine," she answered, placing a bookmark between the appropriate pages of the book and then closing it. Eli didn't buy her response the slightest.

"That doesn't sound like a genuine 'fine'. That sounds more like a 'something's bothering me but I really don't want to talk about it' fine," he said to her.

Clare put her book in her bag and mused some thoughts over in her head before returning her eyes to him.

"It's more like an 'I'd be better if things weren't so crazy' fine," she explained to him.

"Want to talk?" he offered.

Clare shook her head.

"I've already told you that everything on my mind and it just isn't going away. That's all. And I'm just not really looking forward to going home and dealing with my mom."

"You can stay at my place if you want. My parents wouldn't mind it if you spent the night."

"Mine would and the last thing I need is them learning that I'm staying at my boyfriend's house."

Eli understood the reasoning behind this, but he also felt a bit crestfallen that he wasn't going to spend more time with her.

"Then can I drive you home from work?" he offered.

"Sure," she agreed.

The warning bell rang overhead. Those damn objects always sounded at the most unfortunate times.

"Well, I should get to class," he informed her regrettably.

"Me too," she nodded.

He gave her a peck on the lips before standing up and preparing to walk down the hall.

"Eli," Clare said before he walked away. He turned back to face her. "I appreciate you offering me to stay, but you understand why I can't, right?"

"Yeah," he answered. "But if you ever change your mind, you know where we are and you have my number."

She got off the bench and walked to him before giving him a strong, loving embrace.

"I love you so much," she told him when she felt him give her a hug in return.

"I love you too, beautiful."

She flushed a red as deep as his Degrassi polo while he held her against him.

()()

Clare climbed out of Morty in front of her house many hours later. She was exhausted; she went through the rest of her day at school, worked on the play, went to work, and now she had to face her mother's scowls and the abhorrent atmosphere of her household. The only positive aspect of her day was that Eli was by her side every moment possible. He even stayed at the Dot for hours on end and bought almost everything on the menu just so he could be in the same place as her. He was now dropping her off at her home and, much to both of their dismays, they had to part.

Eli was now going down the street while she walked up the path. She took a nervous breath before turning the knob and stepping over the threshold of her house. She steered herself into the living room and saw Helen watching TV.

"Hi, Mom," she greeted, hoping that her mother had calmed down since she left for school that morning. However, judging by the way she kept her eyes glued to the television, Clare couldn't be more wrong.

"Hey, Clare," her mom replied detachedly.

"How was your day?" Clare asked, hoping that acting casual could restore the normality of the household.

"Fine," Helen said. "How was work?"

"Good."

"And school?" her mother asked, still not looking at her daughter.

"Not bad."

The fact that her mother was now keen on wanting to do as little with her made Clare feel hurt. Neither Helen nor Randall took a moment to put themselves into her shoes and make an attempt to understand where she was coming from. Now that she was being shunned by her own mother, it was making her angrier and angrier.

Another factor that made Clare annoyed with her mother was the fact that she talked to Eli the way she did. Although he didn't mention anything to her, she could tell that he felt horrible about this whole situation as well and Helen confronting him probably didn't help at all.

Clare wasn't going to let this one slide. In her eyes, her mother had no right to confront Eli that way and she wanted her to know that.

"Eli told me you and he talked yesterday before you left his house."

At those words, Helen sighed, turned off the television, and faced her daughter.

"What did he tell you?"

"Everything you told him when I was at work."

"I had a few things to say to him and I knew if you were there, you would've said something to get me to stop asking questions or to prevent him from answering them."

Clare rolled her eyes.

"Why did you even talk to him?"

"I wanted to see if this was someone I wanted you to actually marry."

"That's not up to you, Mom."

"While you live under this roof, it is," Helen said, asserting her authority.

"Why can't you just be supportive and happy that I found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with?"

"Because I can't trust him," she answered bluntly. "He went against what your father and I have always expected of you, so I lost my trust in him. And, to be honest, I'm not sure if –."

"If you want me dating him?" she assumed. "He told me about that part too."

"Clare, I really want you to understand I don't want you dating him right now, let alone marrying him."

This was becoming too much for Clare. She was ready to exploded, but she kept her voice as low as possible as she spoke.

"You know what, Mom? Just because you're not pleased about me not living my life the way you planned me to live it doesn't mean you should immediately start beating down on Eli. _I_ decided to sleep with him and _I _said yes when he asked me to marry him."

"Don't defend him, Clare. You are both equally wrong in this situation."

"Equally wrong?" she repeated. "Since when is being in love classified as wrong?"

"Clare, you and Eli are still kids who –."

"We're not kids! We are mature, young adults who love each other very much and we both want to get married!"

"It is a big commitment to make," Helen informed her. "Huge. _Ginormous_ even."

"I know that! And I want to make that commitment with Eli."

Not wanting to say anything else on this subject, Clare bolted out of the living room and upstairs to her bedroom. She entered it and snapped the door closed before tossing her backpack in the corner.

As she collapsed on her bed, Clare hoped that things would eventually return to normal at a faster rate, but, judging by the argument minutes ago, that wasn't going to happen. She desperately wished that this would all just disappear or that her parents would just accept that this was happening, but neither was going to happen.

She then heard her message alert go off on her phone. She pulled it out of her pocket and saw she had a text from Eli.

_I __miss __u __already __Blue __Eyes_

Clare smiled a bit before replying.

_I __miss __u __2. __I __wish __u __were __here_

_I __can __make __that __happen __if __u __want __;)_, his next text replied.

_I wish u could, but mom's home_

_I can come in through your window_

_2 risky_

_Ok. How's everything over there?_

_My mom's the same_

_I'm sorry baby :(_

_It's ok. I just want us 2 get married ASAP_

_Me 2 sweetheart me 2_

* * *

"_You'd make your way in_

_I'd resist you just like this_

_You can't tell me to feel"_

_~"Careful" by Paramore_

* * *

Okay, I must say thank you to Blarg for giving me the link to watch "Degrassi: Nowhere to Run" so I didn't have to wait until November! It's like a big bubble of angst has been relieved even if it was Sucksville, USA. So, if you guys want the link, look for the next to last review for Chapter 51. And, if you guys are interested and need a smile after you watch it, read my one-shot, "That's the Way It Is". I also joined Twitter (my sister can't believe it, but I decided to get one). The link is on my profile if you guys want to follow me! Reviews please!


	53. Oceans

**ECLARE ****FAN ****FOREVER ****BABY! **That's right, still not giving up!

Thank you guys for your reviews! I love hearing you guys making predictions as to what might happen in this story. The plot is now set for this part, so let's get it rolling!

These next few chapters are more DRAMATIC instead of ROMANTIC. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi just because that isn't my destiny. No, my destiny is to become Mrs. Craig Mabbitt (hey, I can dream lol).

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Three

Oceans

Eli resisted every temptation to go to Clare's house that night. He wanted to hug her and give her some sort of comfort. However, as they texted for two hours nonstop, she continuously told him that she wanted him there, but she didn't want him getting into any more trouble with her mom. He eventually surrendered and agreed to not come over.

He woke up the next morning, his face baring a slight smile from his happy spirits. He had rarely stopped since Clare promised to marry him. In fact, other than the situation with her parents, everything was well for Eli. Kate was out of his life, he was going to marry his true love, he had a great family, an awesome best friend, he was passing all his classes, and his writing was going well. He couldn't imagine being happier.

After he changed into his Degrassi uniform, Eli suddenly longed to hear Clare's voice, so he picked up his phone and dialed her number. He listened to two rings before hearing Clare answer.

"Hi, Eli," she greeted.

"Good morning to my beautiful girlfriend," he accosted.

"What's up?"

"I'm just waking up and I simply felt like talking to you. What are you up to?"

"Getting ready to get some breakfast then go to school."

"Alright," he said. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes I did. How about you?" she asked.

"Well, you were in my dreams the whole time, so I slept pretty well."

He heard Clare release a gentle and demure chuckle.

"You're such a flirt," she accused.

"I know, but you love me."

"I won't deny that."

"Want a ride to school?" he offered.

"My mom's taking me."

"Alright," he said, slightly disappointed that he wouldn't be seeing his girlfriend sooner. "I'll see you at Degrassi."

"See you then."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

()()

Other than Eli's phone call, the morning wasn't exactly pleasant for Clare. Her mom was still giving her the cold shoulder for most part. Clare hated all of this. She hated the tension in

her house, she hated being mad at her mother, and she hated the arguing.

Clare strongly disliked these moments between her and her mom and she didn't want them to continue. Helen parked the car in front of the school so Clare could get out, but she remained seated so she could speak.

"Mom . . . I'm sorry about our fight last night."

Helen sighed and turned to Clare.

"Please understand, Clare, that I just want what's best for you."

"And what's best for me is to be with Eli."

"You're sixteen –."

"And you raised me to understand what true love is and what it feels like. You told me that it's when you care more about that one person more than yourself, you are happy when you're with them, but you aren't afraid to be sad around them when you need to be, and that it is the greatest feeling in the world. I care about Eli more than anything, I'm happy with him but he will let me cry if I need it, and I feel so many things when I'm with him that I can't describe it."

"Honey, I'm glad that you aren't just running on infatuation, but I don't feel comfortable with you dating Eli. I don't trust him."

"_I_ trust him, Mom. That should be enough."

"Clare, I'm sorry, but he knew what your father and I expected of you but he still defied us."

"He didn't do it intentionally. He was only thinking about _me_. He saw that I wanted to be with him in that way and he asked repeatedly if that was what I wanted. If I told him to stop, he would've stopped. That's how much he cares about me. And I know that he wouldn't have minded us not having sex. He never asked me, pressured me, or anything. If he left the decision up to me and I told him I was probably going to wait and he didn't have a problem. The way he was so honest about it made me realize that he was someone I wanted to lose myself to."

Helen looked back out the window and took a breath. When Clare saw that her mother wasn't going to speak, she decided to continue.

"Mom, I see where you and Dad are coming from here, but I don't think you guys are willing to try to see this through my eyes. All I ask for you two is to try and see my point here? Please?"

Helen sighed before turning to her daughter.

"Alright, I'll try."

"Thank you," Clare said with a small grin.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," Helen said and Clare saw a small smile come to her mother's lips for the first time since Monday morning. She now began hoping this was the start of a gradual recovery.

"And will you consider forgiving Eli?"

"I'll think about it. First, let me try and understand to see your point-of-view and then I might consider it."

"I appreciate it."

"It's fine. Now you better get going; it looks like someone is waiting for you," Helen noted, nodding towards the school. Clare turned her head to look out her window and say Eli patiently waiting for her.

"I'll see you later then," she said, unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Have a good day. I love you," Helen bade.

"I love you too, Mom," Clare said before she climbed out of the car with her bag before closing her door and walking up the steps.

"Hey," he greeted her.

"Hi," she replied. She looked over her shoulder to be sure her mom was gone. As she saw the car drive away, she took his hand and kissed his lips. When they ended the kiss, Clare led him into the school.

"How are things with you and your mom?" he asked as they went down the hall.

"Better. She's going to try and understand why we're doing this."

"That's good. What about your dad?" he guessed.

"Don't know," she answered as they stopped at their lockers. "But I'm not letting it bother me. What my parents think got to me a lot yesterday, but today I'm just going to suck it up and be happy that I am going to marry the love of my life."

Eli smiled at her optimism.

"Nothing ever keeps you down for long, does it?"

"I try not to let it."

"But if it starts bothering you and you want to talk –."

"You'll be here," she finished.

"Exactly," he grinned before circling his arms around her waist. "And I've been doing some thinking."

"What kind of thinking?"

"The usual," he answered. "You know how spring break is in a month from now?"

"Yes," she replied.

"How about you and I go on a small couple's retreat?"

Clare was slightly taken aback by these words. She did not expect that sentence to escape his lips.

"Oh . . . um . . ."

"Oh and by the way, I cleared a space for you," he informed her before she could get a real word out.

"What?" she asked, now becoming distracted from the spring break plans.

"At my house," he began to explain. "I cleared a drawer for you in my room."

"Why?"

"You know, if you ever come to spend the night, you'll be able to have some clothes for the next day."

"Eli, I told you that I wouldn't be able to spend the night."

"I mean for future reasons or if you change your mind."

Clare exhaled and shook her head, causing her curls to brush against her face.

"Eli, my parents are already flipping out enough about everything. Telling them about the couple's retreat _and_ the fact that you want me to stay over some nights is going to make them go haywire."

"Well, Clare, there's no law that says you have to mention anything to them," he said in an endearing playfulness.

"Wait . . . you want me to _lie_ to my parents after they just found out I lost my virginity to you?" she questioned.

"It's not lying; it's omitting information."

Clare rolled her eyes and stepped out of his arms.

"It _is_lying and I can't lie to my parents. They don't trust me enough as it is."

"Then why don't we just suggest it to them?" he proposed.

"Are you crazy? You know I can't do that."

"I'm not saying you have to do it any time soon, but please just think about it, okay?"

Clare sighed.

"I'll consider the staying over thing once my parents calm down, but not the spring break thing. I would, but I can't bring that up with them right now, okay?"

Eli leaned his shoulder against the locker in a disgruntled manner before nodding. He didn't admit it to Clare, but part of him felt a bit hurt due to the rejection.

()()

Every time Clare got out of class that day, she was by Eli's side. She wasn't sure how he did it, but he was always right outside her classroom when the bell rang. She had no idea that he had memorized her schedule. When he saw her exit her class, he would immediately take her hand or wrap his arm around her shoulders before leading her to her next class.

During lunch, Clare left Eli and Adam alone in the cafeteria and headed straight to the bathroom. She loved Eli, but she really wanted a minute to herself and the restroom seemed to be the only place she could get that. She understood that Eli was just happy about them getting married one day; she was as well, but she wanted to think a few things through.

One thing was how her dad was feeling about this situation. He usually called her once every two days or came by the Dot while she was at work whenever it was her mom's week. These last couple of days, however, she had not heard from him and that wasn't a good sign. That meant that he was still disappointed or that he was trying to think out a few things of his own.

Everything else in her mind pertained to Eli. He asked her to go on that getaway with him and he knew she wasn't willing to risk that. She didn't even understand why he invited her in the first place. She hoped that he was just being sweet and thinking of them getting away together, but why would he even suggest such a thing especially when she and her mom were finally on speaking terms again?

Another thought that had haunted her was how Eli had cleared a space for her. Sure, it was a sweet gesture, but she told him constantly yesterday that she would not be able to spend the night at his house. She didn't want to push the envelope with her parents by suggesting that and she thought she made that point clear to Eli.

And, if she had to be honest with herself, a part of her didn't want Eli to clear a drawer just for her. Now that she thought about, they only made this promise to get married three days ago and he was already moving things forward in their relationship. She wanted things to continue to go slow in this relationship so nothing got messed up, but now everything was going faster and she didn't know what to make of it. In her opinion, moving some of her items into his room and going somewhere together on a retreat was moving too fast. She wanted to tell Eli this, but she knew that he would take it the wrong way and she didn't want to hurt him.

This was all confusing her and she didn't know what to do and him being by her every minute possible wasn't helping the situation. She did want to eventually go on a couple's getaway with Eli and have room for some of her clothes at his place, just not for a while.

She emerged from a stall minutes later and, to her dismay, saw Kate Parker standing against the sink with her arms crossed. Clare avoided her eye and walked to the sink closest to the door since it was the furthest from Kate. Her gut informed her that Kate was about to say something, but Clare wasn't in the mood for it. She was already having enough thoughts about her father and Eli and the last thing she wanted was to get into a confrontation with Kate.

Clare felt Kate's eyes watch her as she turned on the water for the sink, but she was highly determined not to look back.

"How's it going, Clare?" Kate finally asked, cynically.

Clare attempted to ignore her as she felt the warm liquid fall on to her hands.

"Word in the halls is that you and Eli are engaged," Kate stated.

"We're not engaged," Clare informed, avoiding her eye. She would've kept her mouth shut, but she didn't want to give Kate the wrong idea just so she could start spreading rumors about her and Eli.

"Planning on getting married then," she corrected herself.

Clare didn't answer, not really wanting to share the news with Kate. She wanted to get out of that bathroom as quick as possible, so she hastily scrubbed the soap on her hands and rinsed it off while she felt Kate watching her.

"I suppose congratulations are in order."

"You can save it," Clare replied bitterly as she dried her hands on a paper towel.

"I was being sarcastic. I actually think that what you to are doing is stupid, naïve, and unrealistic."

Clare rolled her eyes. She was accusing _them_ of being unrealistic when she was the one who expected Eli to simply leave Clare because of that stupid kiss that happened not too long ago?

"And if you actually think that two of you are going to be married years from now –."

"What do you want, Kate? Because if you're just going to say crap, I have a boyfriend to get back to," Clare snapped, throwing away the towel in a garbage can under the sink before crossing her arms and glaring at her archenemy.

"I just want to warn you that Eli has broken these kinds of promises before."

"What you two had when you were six wasn't real."

"We loved each other. We felt it."

"Those feelings weren't real either; not to him anyway."

"And the feelings you two have for each other are?"

"Yes, they are!" Clare retorted.

"And you two really think you're going to last forever?"

"Leave me alone, Kate," she ordered before turning to leave the bathroom. Kate, however, rushed in front of her to block her path.

"Think about everything, Clare. You don't strike me as the kind of girl who would want to get married right after high school."

"You shouldn't judge people you don't know," Clare sneered, trying to step around her. Unfortunately, Kate blocked her again.

"We were friends for a while, Clare. I know how your mind works."

Clare scoffed.

"Move out of the way."

Kate didn't budge.

"What about university? What about your writing career?"

"Eli will still become my husband."

"Then what about where you'll live?" Kate asked. "What if Eli doesn't want to stay in Toronto and you do or vice versa. What's the happy couple do then?"

Clare was becoming sick and tired of everyone getting involved in her and Eli's life. First Jenna pried around when she suggested that Clare was pregnant, then her parents found out about everything, and now her least favorite person was informing them of what could get in their way of a happy marriage. Clare had yet to consider these issues, so the last thing she wanted was for them to be brought up in a school bathroom by this girl.

"We'll figure it out," Clare answered, hoping that these problems could be solved easily during some other point in time. She tried to walk around Kate, but she was stopped again.

"And what about religion?" she proceeded. "You're a Christian, he's an Atheist."

"He respects my faith and I'm not going to push him to change."

"If you want to celebrate Christmas and he doesn't? Do you expect him to put up with a holiday that celebrates something he doesn't believe in?"

"Stop," Clare ordered, feeling Kate's words enter her and begin to process.

"And children? Do you even know if Eli wants to start a family? And what if he does but you don't? Do you want him to deprive you of children or him you? And what about your parents? I'm sure they wouldn't want that kind of life for you."

Mentioning all these things plus her parents made Clare's stomach drop. She was never going to give Kate the satisfaction, but she had some valid points. She needed get out of the lavatory as soon as possible.

"I'm going to marry Eli and we'll talk about all of this," she said bluntly.

"When?" she demanded, still staying rooted in place. "When you're married? By then you might realize all these things and want to get divorced instead trying to solve problems."

"Shut up!" Clare nearly shouted. "If you think you're going to break-up me and Eli, it's going to happen. We love each other, we're going to get married, and we're going to be happy, so leave us alone!"

She then shoved Kate out of her way and stormed into the hall. She heard Kate shouting after her, but she never looked back.

"These are all factors you have to deal with before or after your married! Pretending they aren't there isn't going to help anything!"

Her mind started racing. Kate's words were echoing around and around in her head. She had enough on her mind already and she didn't want more coming in to push her to the edge. This day started out so well. She and Eli had a great conversation on the phone and her mom was trying to see her points at last, but now everything was beating down on her.

All the anxiety and confusion she was feeling before she entered the restroom had now increased by a hundred percent. She left the cafeteria to calm down, not to become more stressed. This day was becoming worse and worse by the minute and all she wanted was to go lie down in her bed and escape the world and everyone in it. Unfortunately, because of school, Drama Club, and work, that wasn't going to be the case.

Clare headed back to the cafeteria, plastering a mask of contentment on her face.

She didn't want either of the guys, especially Eli, to get involved with her problems or her Kate dilemma until she could finally analyze everything in her brain.

"Hey," Eli greeted her as she arrived at the table.

"Hey," she replied weakly, not taking the vacant seat next to him. "Um, guys I'm going to go ahead and go to class".

"I'll walk you," Eli offered, preparing to stand up.

"No, it's fine," she said, gathering her belongings.

"I insist."

"No, you stay here."

"I don't mind, Clare," he asserted, standing up all the way.

"Thanks, Eli, but I need to think about some stuff."

Without another word, Clare headed towards the exit and disappeared into the hall. The boys sat there, surprised that she was so cheerful minutes ago and now she was tense and frustrated.

"What do you think that was about?"

"I have no idea," Eli answered honestly. "Do you think it's something girl related?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe something happened in the bathroom."

"What could've happened to her in the bathroom?"

"I don't know and I really don't want to find out."

Eli knew Clare said that she needed to think, but he was concerned. It usually takes a lot for her to get upset in such a short period of time. It wasn't like her at all.

"I should go after her, shouldn't I?" Eli stated.

"Yep," Adam agreed.

Eli then abandoned the table with his belongings and exited the cafeteria.

* * *

"_I think I finally understand what it means to be lost"_

_~"Oceans" by Evanescence_

* * *

This isn't the epic Kate thing that's going to happen. No, the stuff she did in this chapter is NOTHING compared to what's going to happen with her not too far from now. I hope you guys had a good Halloween on Monday (I did)! Okay, I just like to see if this story can get 500 reviews before I publish Chapter 56. I just want to see if that could happen (I hope it can)! Reviews please!


	54. Numb

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks everyone for contributing your reviews towards the 500 goal! We don't have much further to go, so please submit! Thank you ilovetaylorswift13, MadameDegrassi4587, My world of Eli, fffffffffff, klare345, juhy, Laaa, goodluck123, Briiy, and LizBear123 for your lovely reviews! BTW: I have a new respect for Sam Earle because he ships EClare (it's Twitter confirmed)!

Spoiler: More drama is coming, so if you don't like the drama, you may want to stop reading. However, if you're always going to be wondering what's going to happen next or if you really want to know the fates of Clare and Eli stick around . . . please stick around! I have pie! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: It'll be a cold day in Hell when I own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Four

Numb

Clare never doubted her and Eli. When her parents mentioned that they were just infatuated teenagers, she denied it in a heartbeat because she knew that what they had was true, mature love. Sure, they had their opinions and it hurt Clare, but her dad was the only one who wasn't talking to her or choosing not to conceive the situation. However, it wasn't only her father who forced her into an early retreat to her History class.

She hated to admit it, but Kate presented a few fair arguments. They never discussed any of this. She was devoted to her faith, but he didn't believe in it, so that was bound to cause a few issues.

Outside of that, there were many unanswered questions. Did they both want kids one day? She wasn't sure right now; she was hoping to graduate college and get her career started before she even considered that possibility of becoming a mother. And what if Eli wanted to move and she wanted to stay in Toronto? What if they did want completely different things? What if their religious views, desire or lack thereof for kids, and all these other factors did cause problems?

She gazed her promise ring. Usually, she would've smiled and felt her heart beat with joy. Today, however, she felt hallow. As she stared at the ring, her father, Eli, and Kate's words haunted her mind.

She wanted to make sense of everything before mentioning it to Eli or doing anything drastic . . . all she needed was the alone time to sit and process everything in her head.

That wasn't going to happen . . .

"Hey," his voice greeted while he entered the empty classroom with the exception of the two of them.

Clare snapped her eyes away from the ring and saw him coming towards her. She really hoped he would stay behind in the cafeteria with Adam, but, alas, he didn't.

"Eli, I told you I needed to think!" she told him with frustration.

"I know," he said, sitting in the desk in front of her. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you. When you first left lunch, you were fine. And then you came back and you weren't the same. Is everything alright?"

"It's been a crazy day, that's all."

She had half a mind to tell him what was really going on in her head, but she couldn't quite figure out the words to tell him how. That was one of the few reasons she wanted to think, but she wasn't given the time.

"Well, you know that I'm here for you if you need me, right?"

She nodded.

"Do you want to talk?"

"Eli, just because I want to think doesn't mean there's something I need to talk about. It just means I need to think."

"I'm just trying to help, Clare."

"I don't need your help all the time, okay?" she snapped. "There are a few aspects of my life that don't concern you, so please let me keep those things to myself."

Obviously she was lying; the aspects of life she were thinking about had _everything _to do with him.

"Fine," he accepted harshly, grabbing his bag and books before standing up and exiting the classroom. "Sorry for trying to be here for you."

Clare tensed up at these words at first. Hearing the venom in his voice soared through her and it hurt. However, it didn't take long for her realize that her tone probably hurt him since he was just trying to be his usual Eli self and help her. Feeling horrible for yelling at him like that, she got out of her desk and went after him.

"Eli," she said, catching up with him when he was halfway down the hall.

She grabbed the hand that wasn't holding his books. He paused at her touch and her voice. He turned to face her and she continued to keep her grasp on his hand.

"Look, I didn't me to snap your head off back there. I know you were just trying to help and be kind, but . . . there are some things I need to think about on my own, you know?" she explained.

Eli nodded.

"Need some time alone?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "I just need to unscramble a few things going on in my head."

"Alright," he accepted.

"Thank you," she grinned, relieved that she was going to be given the opportunity to contemplate everything and wouldn't have to result to something extreme.

"I promise, I'll give you time to think," he promised.

She smiled at him with a mix of contentment and salvation. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips before speaking again.

"I love you," she told him.

"I love you too," he replied. "Now go and clear that pretty little head of yours."

"Will do," she said as she let go of his hand and walked back to her class.

She sat there and tried to make sense of everything and how it was changing so fast. She was able to think in happier spirits, so now the problems didn't seem so crucial. It was amazing how Eli could make everything go from bad to not so bad by simply saying a few words to her.

Unfortunately, this period of harmony was shorter than temporary . . .

()()

It soon became evident to Clare that Eli's opinion of giving someone time to think meant only giving that person a maximum of ten minutes to be alone.

He was waiting for her outside her class when it ended and they were together with Adam all through study period. She would've left, but the boys needed help putting the finishing touches on their Physics project, so she stayed with them and left her thoughts for later. After that, he was with her throughout Drama Club, he stayed at the Dot while she worked, and he texted. She tried to ignore the texts, but whenever she didn't reply, she got another message asking if everything was okay. She didn't want to worry him, so she gave in a sent him a message back.

The return of fears came in company with Eli's adhering. Every worry she had about things going too fast and Kate's points as to why Eli and Clare wouldn't work began to haunt her and it never stopped.

The rest of the week had days too similar to this one. Clare hardly had a moment by herself. She was either with Eli, in class, or Eli was calling or texting her. She knew she was practically feeding him the idea that she didn't have a problem with the way everything was right now, but she didn't know what else to do until she was able to think of what she could say to him.

It was now afternoon study period on Friday and Clare bolted out of the school just so she was away from Eli. Going to a place she usually wouldn't go during this period would buy her some time and she would now be able to figure a few things out.

Clare sat at one of the picnic tables across from the school, finally alone for the first time in the longest time. Eli had been texting her nonstop day and night whenever she was at home, he picked her up that morning, and he was with her every second possible throughout the week. This is how it was every day and she was tired of it. She still had yet to figure out a way to tell him to give her some space.

She wanted to tell him that he was being slightly overbearing and that she needed time for herself, but she was terrified that he would take it the wrong way or that it would hurt him.

Clare had barely started envisaging these events when she heard Eli's voice.

"Hey, Blue Eyes," he greeted.

She turned and saw Eli coming towards her. He was smiling like he had been the last couple of days. She tried to grin, but it was becoming harder and harder to do that lately. He sat next her and hooked his arm over her shoulders.

"Alright, I was in my Media class when this idea hit me. I figured out when we could get married. How about next summer?"

Clare heard these words and it seemed that her stomach had disappeared while her heart decided to try to escape her chest by banging on her ribcage. She couldn't believe that Eli had just said those words.

"N-Next summer?" she repeated.

"It's perfect. We'll both be adults, we'll be able to go to university at the same time, once I'm out I'll be able to start a job, and once you're out you can start doing your thing and we'll be married while it happens."

"Eli . . . one year from now?"

"One year and a few months," he corrected.

"But still, that's not much time to get everything ready and I'll be getting ready for college and you'll actually be in college –."

"It's just an idea," he stated. "I just want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you as soon as I can. And you said a few days ago that you wanted to get married as soon as possible, so why not next year? It also means that you can move out of your house and you won't have to deal with your parents."

"Eli, that's not going to solve anything. My parents are still going to be unsure about everything and getting married next year is just going to make my relationship with them worse. I want us to be happy and get along, not move out of my house and never talk to them again."

"I'm not asking you to do that. I'm just making a suggestion here."

Clare knew that the time had now come to let go of what she had been holding onto for days.

"Eli, we can't get married next year, we can't go on a couple's retreat, I can't move a few clothes into your room, and I can't be with you every second of the day like you want me to!"

"I just want us to spend time together," he said, defending himself.

"I want that for us too, but every second of the day and being together for all of spring break? I'm still trying to mend things with my parents right now because, unlike you Eli, I have parents who can let things be and immediately see through my eyes. And I can't believe that you asked me to lie to my parents about me staying with you for a few nights when you are in just as much trouble with them as I am."

"You told me your mom was trying to understand everything."

"_Trying_," she emphasized. "I don't want her to stop and I want her to see us this way before we do anything else to push her over the edge. And my dad is another thing to worry about. He still hasn't talked to me at all since I left your house that afternoon."

Eli had no idea this was how Clare was feeling. If he had known, he would've eased off and wouldn't have suggested anything like going away together for spring break.

"If this has been bothering you for a few days, why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I didn't know how to bring it up and you were really happy about everything."

"Babe, you know I care about you more than anyone. If that was bothering you, you could've come to me."

"How could I? I tell you that I need to think and you don't give me time at all. You're always texting me, calling, or by my side. I can't take both being clung to by you every second _and_ taking things fast in a relationship."

"You think we're going too fast?"

"We made this promise to get married barely a week ago and . . . now you're practically asking me to move in with you."

"Clare, we're going to be married someday so we're going to move in with each other eventually. I'm sorry if I haven't been giving you time to yourself and you feel like I'm pressuring to do something you don't have to do. We don't have to go away, move some things into my room, or anything like that. I guess I got a little carried away since I'm so happy that we're going to get married one day."

It then dawned on Clare that maybe that was the issue. Maybe it wasn't the spring break retreat, him cleaning out a drawer for her, or him planning for them to get married next summer . . . it was getting married period.

"We're still going to get married one day, right?" Eli asked when Clare didn't reply.

Kate's words soon began dispersing in her head more than ever. Clare was now really starting to see how different she and Eli were and it was in more ways than one. She couldn't handle this much longer. She really needed to think about her and Eli and she wasn't going to be able to do that while he still had his arm around her. She needed to get away from him . . . she needed to breathe.

"Eli, you know I love you but I need to think. And the things I need to think about aren't things I can think about in five minutes. I need to be _alone_. For the rest of the day, please don't wait for me outside class or at my locker and don't ask if you want to drive me home. And please don't text, call, or anything! Okay? Please just give me space."

Speaking only those words, Clare stood up and went towards the school, leaving a confused and slightly stung behind Eli at the table.

* * *

"_Can't you see that you're smothering me?_

_Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control_

'_Cause everything that you thought I would be_

_Has fallen apart right in front of you"_

_~"Numb" by Linkin Park_

* * *

This _isn__'__t_ going to be a repeat of "Drop the World" (so don't worry, My world of Eli and others who were thinking that). I saw the promo for what's going to happen on Degrassi and SCREW IT! If certain things happen like I think they're going to happen, I'm probably going to stop watching the show. I'll still write this story though (I love writing it and I'm not going to let the TV writers mess with my love for writing this fic). Reviews please? Remember let's try to meet 500 by after I publish the next chapter! You can just put a smiley face (or sad face) if you want or a rant about Degrassi, but please post something!


	55. Starts with Goodbye

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Your reviews never fail to make me smile! Believe it or not, whenever I read some of your reviews, I either get an idea of what to write, how to make the fic better, or I figure out how to get over a block, so thank you for your reviews! Thank you tiff for what you said in that review (it made me smile widely). And thanks ilovetaylorswift13, simplecrafter, sushi.23, My world of Eli, Moonlight Gypsy (btw, I love your name), SoManyWords, ElBel, MadameDegrassi4587, klare345, gigi, ffffffff (you are also awesome!), forevreli, EliClare4Ever, JillyBean, and Miracledreamer for your reviews! YOU ARE ALL AWESOME!

We're only 21 reviews away from the goal of 500 reviews! Short and intense chapter! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but will always stand by EClare no matter how many people oppose it or would rather see Eli and Clare with other people!

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Five

Starts with Goodbye

Clare didn't know how it happened, but she was able to survive the rest of her day. She didn't see Eli at all and this made her both relieved and worried. She got home and was finally able to think about everything she had been needing to think about for the last three or four days.

Eli did as she told him and didn't call, text, or get in contact with her in any way. He finally got the message and left her alone; she wished that she didn't have to result to yelling at him, but she did and nothing could change it.

Clare now sat on the couch in the living room at midnight and rested her head on her knees. She hugged her legs as she reflected on her recent relationship with Eli. She was now realizing how different they were and how they weren't seeing eye-to-eye on how this relationship should be. She knew she had to do something, but she didn't have the slightest idea as to what that something could be.

Helen then entered the living room, wearing her white dressing gown. She was surprised that Clare was still up at this hour.

"Clare?" she spoke, sending Clare out of her thoughts.

Hearing her mother's voice, Clare lifted up her head and turned to see her mother standing by the couch.

"Hi," she replied.

"What are you still doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Is everything alright?"

"I don't know," Clare sighed. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"It's been a long week, hasn't it?" Helen guessed.

"Yeah," Clare agreed.

"I'm sorry about that."

"Mom, can I talk to you?" she then asked. If anyone could help her right now, it was the person who she was firm yet understanding.

"I guess."

"You said you would try and understand why I did the things I did with Eli," she reminded.

"I did," Helen replied.

"And . . . are you still disappointed that Eli and I . . . you know?"

Helen took a breath and sat next to Clare on the couch.

"You're almost seventeen and it won't be much longer until you're an adult. Your dad and I raised you and guided you the best we could, and now it's time to make your own decisions."

"But are you still upset?"

Helen was silent and stared at the coffee table for a second before facing Clare again and began to speak the truth.

"Honey, I'm happy that you didn't jump into bed with him the first chance you got and I'm glad it was someone you had a lot of feelings for; I just always thought that . . ."

"That I would wait until I was married?"

Helen nodded.

"But you waited until you were sure this relationship was going to last before you did anything instead of going straight to the sexual part. And, like you said, it was one night and that was a month ago."

"And I promise you that nothing like that is going to happen again any time soon," she reassured her mother. "So . . . you're not mad or disappointed?"

Helen shrugged.

"What's done is done and we can't change what's happened, so there's no use dwelling on it. I'm more shocked about it than anything. With time, however, I will get over it."

After the week she had, Clare was slightly appeased that her mother had finally reached this point and that she understood her daughter.

"But, sweetie, I know that teenagers today do these things like have sex before they get married; I get that. I just wish you were honest with me about the possibility of you being pregnant."

"I wish I was too. Maybe then I wouldn't have told Eli and then he probably wouldn't have asked me to marry him."

"You were happy about it a few days ago," Mrs. Edwards reminded.

"I know and I was. But then I started thinking about everything that's happened and now he wants things to happen next year and now I just don't know."

"What are you talking about?"

"He wants us to get married next summer after I graduate."

"And I'm guessing you don't want that?" Helen assumed.

"Of course I don't," Clare stated. "It's too soon and I'm going to college next fall; I can't imagine being a wife _and_ a student at the same time. We both said that we were the ones for each other, but we never really talked about the future. I thought that we would have this talk after high school, maybe even after university, but I had no idea that he would want us to do this in a bit more than a year."

"That sounds like you have a lot on your plate."

"I do. I love him and I want to be with him, but I just never thought of the possibility plus there are a million other things that make me feel like I shouldn't marry him. I mean, we're teenagers. We don't know what it's like to be married. Maybe he's just hoping for reassurance that I'll always be with him. I don't think he's seeing the big picture. There's going to be more to marriage than being together forever and stuff like that, right?"

"You're absolutely right."

"Plus, Eli and I are really different. Sure, that opposites attract thing might work when you're dating, but when you're married?" she nearly screeched. "He's an Atheist, I'm Christian. He just sent in an application for the University of Ottawa and I don't know where I want to go for college. I want to stay in Toronto after university, but I don't know about him.

"I don't want to think about kids, solve religion conflicts, and things like that right now. And if we get married the summer I get out of high school, that's . . . that's going to put a strain on our relationship. I'll be working and studying at the same time and I'll eventually try to get a career off the ground. I can't do all that and become a wife. I'm not sure if I'm ready to handle that kind of responsibility especially if we decided to start a family."

"You really starting to doubt this, aren't you?"

"I don't want to, but I am."

Helen let out a sympathetic breath.

"Clare, if you're not ready for this and if you don't things are going to work out, why don't you just tell Eli?" Mrs. Edwards asked.

"I'm scared," she confessed. "I don't want him to hate me for it."

Helen put a comforting arm around her daughter and stroked the ends of her auburn locks.

"That boy could never hate you; he may be a bit upset, but he'll have the right to be. Even if things don't go well, you have to start thinking about what's best for you. And whether that's marrying Eli, going to college, or something completely different, just remember that it's your decision and no one can decide what's best for you except for _you_. I can't tell you what you should do; neither can your dad, Darcy, Alli, Adam, not even Eli."

"Mom, I don't know what I want. I don't know if I want to be with Eli or go to college or if I want to go to Africa and be with Darcy. It's too much for me to handle and after what happened with this girl at school these past few months, I'm not sure if this is the best decision."

"If you can't handle it now, you shouldn't actually go through with it until you know you can. That's just giving Eli all this false hope and you know he doesn't deserve that."

"He doesn't," Clare agreed. "But he doesn't deserve what I'm going to do to him if I decide to not get married."

"He may be angry, he may be upset and disappointed, but there's something you have to remember here," Helen continued. "By the end of the day, Eli will still love you, he will still care about you, and he will just want you to be happy. And if he meant all the stuff that he said, he'll wait until you're ready if you ever are."

Clare honestly wanted to be with Eli, but not like this. She wanted them to go back to the way they were before when they had dates at the Dot, the occasional, sappy conversations on IM, or spending time with him at their special place. Ever since he put that promise ring on her finger, nothing but chaos occurred. She couldn't keep living in that kind of world, but she wanted Eli by her side.

"Do you think he'll break up with me if I give him back my promise ring?"

"I hope he doesn't, but it's possible. He may do it out of anger, hurt, or some other reason."

The very thought of him walking away because he wouldn't understand, he was angry, or something around those lines made her cold. She didn't know what to do. She could live in confusion and stay with Eli or she could give him back the ring and risk losing him forever.

"I'm really worried, Mom," she confessed.

"It'll be alright, sweetheart. One way or another, everything will be fine."

"I don't want to break his heart. He's been so good to me for so long and he shouldn't have to go through it."

"Just sleep on it for tonight, okay? Make your final decision after you get some sleep and once you have given this some thought."

"Okay," she accepted.

Helen wrapped her daughter in her arms for a comforting, motherly hug.

"I love you, Mom," Clare said.

"I love you too, darling."

()()

Clare went to bed after she was done speaking to Helen, but she fell into an uneasy sleep. She woke up the next morning and began to process the conversation she had with her mom last night and thought back on the week that had passed. After an hour of thinking, she took a shower, got dressed, and went downstairs.

Clare entered the kitchen and saw her mother at the breakfast table eating some cereal and drinking some coffee.

"Morning, sweetheart," Helen greeted. "How are you doing?"

"A bit better," she answered, getting an apple from the fruit bowl before pulling up a seat. "I did a lot of thinking before I fell asleep and a lot more this morning and . . . I think I know what I have to do about me and Eli . . ."

* * *

"_So hard to see myself without him_

_I felt a piece of my heart break_

_But when you're standing at a crossroad_

_There's a choice you gotta make"_

_~"Starts with Goodbye" by Carrie Underwood_

* * *

Cliffhanger! I have to thank my editor (my sister) for helping me with this fic. Lots of love to her! Okay guys send in those reviews so we can reach 500! We need 21 more! If I get them, I'll make a Vlog of me drinking something weird and disgusting (feel free to make suggestions)! Reviews!

BTW: THIS ISN'T A "DROP THE WORLD" REPEAT! TRUST ME!


	56. Big Girls Don't Cry

**ECLARE ****FAN ****FOREVER ****BABY!**

Thank you everyone for your reviews! I love seeing everyone coming back and new people who just started reading. It makes me smile. Special shout out to J.A.L.L. Your reviews always make me smile no matter what (and the same applies to all of you). And to the always lovely SoManyWords, if I already didn't have a plan for the next few chapters I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE USED THAT IDEA! We didn't meet the 500 goal before this chapter was published. Oh well, no big deal; moving on with life (now I don't have to drink anything weird)! But I do thank all those who did review! Read, review, enjoy . . . or maybe just read and review today.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi; you guys are my witnesses!

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Six

Big Girls Don't Cry

Clare parked her bike outside the Goldsworthy's house barely two hours later. She saw Morty in the driveway, making bile rise to her throat. She felt her hands shake as she knocked on the door. She waited patiently, praying for the best of what was about to happen.

The door opened to reveal Eli, his heart sending cold blood through his veins as he saw Clare.

"Hi," he greeted in a rough voice.

"Hi," she replied weakly.

He saw Clare looking down at the ground, causing him to draw the conclusion that something was continuing to trouble her like it had the day before.

"I need to talk to you," she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper.

Eli nodded and let her in the house and led her to the living room.

"Do you want some water or something?" he offered.

"No thanks. Eli, there's something really important I have to talk to you about."

Eli felt his stomach plunder to the ground, but he felt his heart beating in his ears. Clare felt the same thing; they both knew what they were going to say or hear wasn't going to be good.

Eli gestured to the couch and they both sat down. He looked at Clare, anxious to hear what she had to say, as she stared down at her hands . . . and her promise ring.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday. I just needed time to think."

"I'm sorry I was clingy," he said. "And I thought about what you said and I see what you mean about us going away for spring break and things like that. Until you and you're parents are alright with everything, I promise I won't suggest things like that."

"Thanks," she said softly.

He put his hand over hers, but she slowly pulled it away. She scooted down on the sofa and continued to look down at her wrists.

"What's the matter?" Eli said with extreme concern.

"Eli . . . you know I love you with all my heart . . . but . . . I did a lot, and I mean _a __lot_, of thinking last night and . . ." Clare began to say, trailing off so the rest of her words were incoherent.

"Clare?"

"I . . . I can't . . . we can't get married."

The uncomfortable silence began to settle in along with Clare's words. Eli looked at the ground. He hoped that he was just imagining those words that stabbed him in the heart, but he knew they were real . . . they were as real as the pain and anger he had flowing through his bloodstream.

Clare tried to keep the tears inside her by taking a few deep breaths while she waited for Eli to speak. When she assumed that he wasn't going to say anything, she looked up from the floor to face Eli. He was looking down while face bore the meanings of anger and his eyes read no other story but hurt. It scared her a bit, but she knew that she had to go through with this.

"Please understand –."

"Why?" he suddenly demanded, looking up at her. "Why can't we get married?"

Clare looked at him and tried not to show any weakness; if she showed weakness, she would surrender and continue with this commitment, then she would go back to the state of confusion she was in before.

"There are plenty of reasons why we can't and there are reasons why we shouldn't," she started to explain.

"So are you saying that you can't or are you saying that you won't?" Eli asked.

"It's a bit of both," Clare admitted.

Eli didn't know how to feel at this point, but he wanted to scream.

_Why was this happening?_

"Clare, we love each other," he told her. "We told each other constantly that we were the ones –."

"We're rushing things by promising each other to get married. We need to slow down a bit. Maybe we even rushed by saying we were the ones."

"What do you mean we're rushing things? It took us nine months of dating to say we loved each other in the first place."

"And barely three days after that we said we were the ones for each other," Clare reminded. "Then we had sex and now we made this huge promise and we've only been together a bit more than a year. It's becoming too overwhelming. And there are other reasons why I don't think us getting married could work."

"Like what?" he asked as he felt his heart get ripped apart piece by piece.

"We're too young, things between us might change, we might never see eye-to-eye, we both may want different things out of life, we may fight constantly, and we may end up getting divorced before we're thirty."

"Or we could live happily ever after."

"Eli, when you first asked me to marry you, I was ecstatic and I'm still happy that you love me so much that you do want us to get married and I love you just as much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I still have a lot to figure out with my life. And you saying that we should get married a year after I get out of high school doesn't give me a lot of time to think about what I should do."

"We don't have to get married in a year. We can wait."

"I don't know what I want to do with my life. I want us to be together, but . . . there are other things I need to figure out and I can't guarantee that I'll still want to marry you after I do."

"I'll wait until you figure it out then. And if you decide afterwards that you don't want to get married, I'll understand."

"But that isn't the only problem."

"What else is there?"

"We're too different," she proceeded. "We were being naïve about us being together forever. We're going one day to the next and we aren't looking at the future. Do you honestly see us ten, twenty years from now paying bills, living together, working, possibly having kids, and trying to get by and still be as happy as we are today with our differences?"

"I don't think we're that different, Clare, but yes, I do think we could be happy."

"Eli, think about this!" she pleaded.

"I have!" Eli snapped. "I have thought about this time and again ever since we said we were the ones for each other. I think we could make a marriage work."

"My parents said the _exact_ same thing when they got married at twenty-one, now look at them!"

"We're not your parents, Clare. Besides, my parents got married at nineteen and they're still going strong."

"But we're not _your_ parents either! Can you honestly think that we can go through becoming husband and wife as young adults?"

"Yes, I think we can. And yes, there may be problems; every marriage has problems, but we can overcome them like we always do."

"Look at us now, Eli," Clare said. "We see each other a few hours a day, we live in separate homes, and our fights aren't too extreme. But if we get married, life won't be so easy."

"We can get through it, Clare," he protested, repeating his belief. He loved Clare and he wasn't going to lose her if he could avoid it; he'd rather die than have her out of his life. "And I promise that I'll stay by your side through anything and I'll never leave you no matter what happens."

Clare shook her head and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes so the tears that began to form in her heart could continue to remain unmade in her eyes. After she was confident that she would be tear-free for a little while longer, she uncovered her eyes and turned to Eli again as anger, fear, and ache roused inside her.

"Why did you ask me to marry you? Was it because you think it would give you some sort of comfort that we will be together forever, that it will erase everything that happened with Kate, or that you feel like you have to because you were my first and I thought I was pregnant?"

"I asked because I love you."

"What if it's not that way ten years from now?" she demanded, looking back at him. "What if we find other people we would rather be with?"

"Clare, I swear to you that that will never, never, _never_ happen. You're my whole world and I am willing to do anything to prove to you that I will love you, remain loyal and faithful to you. And I'll change if you think we're too different. I'll do anything if we can stay together forever."

That did it for her. He was begging and pledging to alter himself for her. Clare never wanted this. She wanted Eli to be the Eli she met and fell in love with, not the one he was willing to become. This realization was her boiling point and she was ready to snap.

"Eli, I've taken over you! I never wanted to do that!" she yelled. She stood up and Eli did the same. "I don't want to consume your life; I just want to be a part of it! You shouldn't have to sacrifice anything for me and I don't want you to!"

"Clare, calm down," he said gently.

"I can't!"

Tears of every negative emotion known to man began to roll down her face and they weren't stopping. Eli tried not to let tears of his own come out, but he was fighting a battle to prevent it. He turned his face to the coffee table so he could try and extinguish the tears.

"I love you so much, and I care about you more than anyone," Clare finally spoke, her voice softer than before. "And if I didn't have all these fears and doubts I'd marry you right here, right now and I'll full heartedly stay with you for eternity. But I don't have any certainty in anything right now and I can't promise to marry you until I figure some things out. It's not fair on you for me to say I'll marry you one day if I can't commit; that's just me leading you on and I don't want to do that to you anymore."

Eli felt tears hit his eyes harder than ever as he faced Clare.

"And absolutely nothing I say or do is going to change your mind?" he inquired of her.

"Unfortunately, no," she admitted. "This is something I need to figure out on my own and I need to go at my own pace with it. Maybe someday I'll change my mind, but for now I can't commit to something this big."

Eli felt a lump rise in his throat as he tried to find the words to respond, but none would come to him. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this heartbroken.

"Do you understand why I feel this way?" Clare asked.

He nodded and kept his tears in his eyes.

"I do . . . but . . ." he began, but the pain was so deep that he couldn't put it into words. "I understand."

"I'm sorry I let this go on for this long," Clare apologized before she pulled the promise ring off her finger. "Here."

Tears were now silently rolling down their cheeks as Eli took back the ring.

"This isn't going to blow over soon, is it?" he guessed.

"I don't think so," Clare agreed regrettably.

At these words, they looked away from each other, knowing that they probably won't look each other in the eyes for a while now. They had just entered their own Hell on Earth.

"I'll see you around?" Clare said after an eternity of silence.

Eli just nodded without looking at her. She turned around and headed towards the exit. She put her hand on the doorknob when Eli spoke up.

"Does this mean we're breaking up?" he asked, choking on his words.

Clare looked over her shoulder and saw him staring at the heart on the ring. It killed her knowing that she was making him feel this pain.

"I . . . hope not. But . . . if you . . ."

She couldn't continue with this conversation, so she moved on.

"I'm sorry I didn't think about this before –."

"No," he said. "I was stupid for asking."

"No, Eli, you weren't –."

"Go," he barked, still avoiding her eye. "J-Just go."

"It wasn't stu–," she continued, but he cut across her again.

"_Go_!" he nearly screeched, looking up at her. The tears in his eyes terrified her and she had never seen his face so angry, disappointed, and heartbroken.

Without another word, Clare obeyed and let herself out of the house. She rode her bike home, tears streaking down her face all the way while Eli stormed into his room and began crying his eyes out, the promise ring being surrounded by his fist in the palm of his hand.

These weren't the tears he cried when Kate kissed him. No. In that situation, Clare ended what they had because there was a third party involved. In this case, however, this was between him and Clare. No one made her end this. She made this decision by herself and no one could change her mind.

Eli didn't stop the tears.

This was real pain. Were they going to be able to continue their relationship after what happened just now? He couldn't see how.

But he didn't want to think about the future right now. All he wanted to do was cry. He didn't care if it was a bit unlike him to bleed these tears; he had his heartbroken by the love of his life (something he thought would never happen), therefore he needed to do this.

Eli cried and cried until he finally passed out, the promise ring still clutched in his hand.

* * *

"_The path that I'm walking I must go alone_

_I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown_

_Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?_

_And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay"_

_~"Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie_

* * *

Hate me right now? You're going to hate me A LOT more soon . . . PLEASE KEEP READING! This is NOT going to be a "Drop the World" repeat! KEEP READING and REVIEW!


	57. What Hurts the Most

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

7 reviews in less than an hour! A RECORD! And now over 500 reviews! FANTASTIC! Huge thanks to all you amazing reviewers! I'm sorry last chapter was sad, but it is necessary that I put this part in! Oh, and tiff, thank you for letting me know and thank you for your kind words. You always make me smile.

These next few chapters are going to be updated frequently simply because I want to get them out of the way and because I'll have time since Turkey Day's coming up. Once these next four or five chapters are done, I'll slow down on the updates. Check out the works of SoManyWords, degrassibear (she is a genius even though she denies it), DegrassiPosse (this person has written one of the best stories I've ever read), MadameDegrassi4587, and KitKat0219. They are amazing writers!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but since we're on the subject, can someone take a frozen steak and knock the writer's in the head with it until they come to their freaking senses and get EClare back together! I'm sorry I don't like Eli/Imogen or Jake/Clare because I'm an EClare fangirl FOR LIFE! Sorry, onto the story . . .

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Seven

What Hurts the Most

The remainder of Saturday and Sunday were the same for Eli. He only came out of his room when he needed to eat or to use the bathroom. Otherwise he was on his bed trying to make sense of everything. He had put Clare's promise ring back in its blue, velvet box and stored it away in the table of his side drawer.

He comprehended everything Clare said. Yes, they were different, this was a bit too rushed for two teenagers, and maybe they had to be sure this was something they wanted to commit to for the rest of their lives before they decided this; he understood that a hundred percent, but he also had his own opinions . . . not that they mattered. Clare had already made this decision and he wasn't going to push her to change her mind; that would create more problems than solutions.

On Monday morning, he prepared to face the demons that would no doubt haunt him. He wasn't sure how he and Clare would react when they saw each other or what they would say if they tried to have a conversation, but he knew that he would never find out unless he confronted the day.

Eli arrived at Degrassi and didn't see Clare anywhere as he went down the hall. For the first time, it was a bit of a relief; he wouldn't have to encounter anymore potential pain right now.

He opened his locker and saw a picture he had of Clare in the door. It was of her when she, Eli, and Adam went to the mall one day last spring. She was trying on a pair of aviator sunglasses with her hands on her hips. Adam thought it was an awesome pose, so he took a picture and gave Eli a copy. That was the picture that now greeted him every weekday when he opened his locker. Usually, it made him smile . . . today it tortured him.

He averted his eyes from it and closed his locker with a sharp snap. He understood Clare's feelings, but comprehension didn't decrease the anger or ache.

"Hey," Adam greeted, walking towards him. He noticed Eli's demeanor. "Someone's moody today."

Eli had hardly spoken to anyone since Saturday morning. He told his parents what happened, but other than that he didn't say anything to anybody else. Clare obviously hadn't told Adam either, so he was completely oblivious to their situation.

He continued to not say a word, not wanting to relive what happened.

Eli turned his head towards the hallway and his heart turned to stone as he saw Clare. She met his eyes and stopped in her tracks. They looked at each other for a minute before she looked at the ground and turned left.

Eli continued to gaze at the spot where she once stood. His assumption from the other night was correct . . . their relationship was not going to be the same after this.

"What's going on with you two?"

Eli shrugged and huffed.

"She doesn't want to get married."

"What?" Adam said, clearly shocked.

Eli nodded.

"Evidently we're too different and we're naïve about being together until the day we die because we're teenagers. At least, that's what she thinks."

"And you don't?" he assumed.

"We're not exactly alike in every way, but we do have things in common. And we're both mature and we've been together for over a year when some relationships in high school don't last half that long."

Adam saw both sides of the story immediately. Clare was right and Eli had a few points and it pained him to see them isolating each other.

"I'm sorry, bro."

"I just really thought we would get married one day," Eli stated. "I was such an idiot for thinking that. Of course Clare wouldn't want to get married! I should've known that!"

"Listen, it's not your fault. She should've –."

"Don't blame her for this, Adam."

"I'm not. I'm just saying that some things should've been discussed before this happened."

"It was probably just the rush of the moment, you know? If she was in her right frame of mind, she would've suggested that we talk about this before she gave me an answer."

"Well, did you ask her if she was sure about that?" Adam asked.

Eli remembered everything about that day as if it happened five minutes ago. He began reflecting on what he said after she promised that she would marry him one day . . .

"_Are you absolutely sure you want to spend the rest of your life with me?" he asked her while she smiled at the ring he slid onto her finger just seconds before._

"_Who else would I spend it with?" she then said to him . . ._

"I did," he finally answered Adam. "She said she was, but obviously that wasn't genuine."

To Adam surprised, Eli snickered. What didn't surprise him, however, was the heavy amount of sarcasm that presented itself with it.

"The funny thing is that her parents knew this would happen. They said we'd end up going back on this or something."

"Does this mean you guys are over?" Adam asked, hoping that they weren't.

"We're not broken up, but . . . I have a horrible gut feeling that Clare and I won't be talking for a while."

"Well, I'm sure that in time you two will be talking again. It's not like she's mad at you about it, so this couldn't last too long."

"I don't know, Adam."

()()

He struggled all day. He thought about Clare and his pain constantly and he couldn't shake it off. He couldn't focus on anything. Unable to deal with the torture within the halls of Degrassi, he decided to leave before his fourth period English class. He didn't want to see Clare anymore that day and risk having the remains of his heart dissolve to nothingness. He waltzed out of the school, went straight to Morty, and drove off campus.

He didn't know where to go, so he just drove. He couldn't go to the abandoned church for obvious reasons. He didn't want to go home, to the Dot, or anywhere. He wanted to find place that didn't prompt Clare to enter his mind . . . but everywhere reminded him of her somehow.

After driving aimlessly for half an hour, he finally decided to just pull over on the side of the road. He sat there in the silence, waiting for the pain to go away . . . only it never did.

()()

Inner conflict was always inundating Clare. She felt lurid for hurting Eli like she did and intentionally not talking to him since Saturday, but it was too difficult to even consider sharing a word with him, let alone looking him in the eye and having an actual conversation with him.

Clare was now sitting at a lunch table. She was writing a story she had started working on when she was sick a few weeks ago. It started out as a wonderful love story between a missing angel and a dark prince, but now it was turning into a tragedy, much like her and Eli's relationship.

"Writing again?" Adam observed, pulling up a seat across from her while setting down his tray.

"Yeah," she answered as she wrote while the pain went through her heart.

"Are you going to get something?" he asked, noticing that his friend didn't have any lunch with her.

"I'm not hungry."

Her eyes never left her work. Anyone could tell she was writing to get her mind off her issues with Eli. She had been this way whenever Adam saw her that day. Never had he seen her so confused and distraught.

"Eli told me what happened."

"Surprise, surprise," she said quietly and sarcastically. "Is he avoiding me?" she asked, looking up from her notebook and taking notice of the empty seat.

"He's skipping," Adam informed her. "He left before English."

"That's a yes," she muttered.

Adam hated this. Both of his best friends were hurting. He saw as to why Clare was feeling so doubtful, but he couldn't believe she got Eli's hopes up so high just to break them all down at once.

"Clare, you're like my sister and I love you, but why in the name of all that is good did you lead him on like that?"

"Do you think I wanted to? I didn't. Listen, I want to marry Eli, but I can't."

She then proceeded to explain her reasoning to Adam just as she did to Eli on Saturday. She explained the differences, what she had to decide, and why a marriage wasn't possible.

"Okay, I see your point. But why can't you two just talk about your differences, reach an understanding, and then be happy that you're getting married?"

Clare huffed in disbelief.

"You and Eli make it sound like it's no big deal. Marriage is _huge_."

"We know that. But come on, Clare, you know as well as I do that if anyone can work in a marriage, it's you and Eli."

"Listen, even if I did talk to him about this and solve our differences, I can't promise to marry him. I still need to figure out what to do with my life and I can't promise Eli to marry him again just to change my mind again after I do find out. That'll break his heart even more and I can't do it to him again."

This was the typical, obstinate Clare. Once she made up her mind, it was difficult to change it. But Adam didn't want either Clare or Eli going through this, therefore he was going to do whatever he could to get these two back on speaking terms, and then eventually more.

"If you had time to really rethink this and sort everything out, will you consider marrying him someday?" he asked hopefully.

Clare didn't speak immediately. What she said was true; she wanted to marry Eli and she did still love him, but everything around them and everything that was still undecided in her mind was setting them up for disaster. She didn't want to go through that, but she wanted both of them to be happy. Conflict attacked her mind. She didn't have any idea what to do . . . and she couldn't make commitments until she had one.

"I might, but I'm not making promises. There's a lot I have to figure out and . . . Eli and I are very different."

"Not really. You both like the same music, books, movies, you're both writers, you two connect, and you can't live without each other."

"Adam, I don't know that. For all I know, I can live without Eli, but I don't know because we've been together for so long. That's another thing I have to consider."

"Clare, you and Eli were on a hiatus for two weeks not long ago and you nearly lost it," he reminded her.

"Things were different."

"It was only two months ago," he stated, not really wanting to believe that so much has changed in such a short amount of time . . . then again that's how everything seemed to be going lately.

"But that was because Kate kissed him and I couldn't trust him. Now we're talking about marriage; the rest of our lives."

"Just think about it, alright?"

Clare looked down at her paper and sighed before turning back to Adam again.

"I'll try and figure out what I want to do with my life, but please don't keep trying to convince me that Eli and I should be together. There are some things I have to figure out on my own."

()()

The next day wasn't any easier for them. Eli decided to stay at school for the whole time, but English and lunch were extremely awkward. Sure, they were still together, but they were both too embarrassed to look each other in the eyes. Eli wanted to speak to her, but she was clearly not keen about talking to him.

Clare wasn't avoiding Eli; she just wanted to think and every time she saw him, she lost her nerve to speak and walked away. So many mixed signals were being given off and it was making them more and more disconcerted and divided.

Eli and Clare's problems were also affecting their ability to work on the play together. They were always with Adam as they observed the rehearsals and they were normally enjoyable and productive. These days, however, they were unwelcoming and full of gloom. Adam felt the tension, but he didn't know what to say or do to make this scenario better.

Clare stood next to Adam that Tuesday afternoon as they observed a scene after school during Drama Club. Eli was checking on the progress of the costumes, props, and sets that were being made in the Art room while Clare and Adam remained in the auditorium. They were watching a rehearsal from their _Feudal __Romance_ production. Coincidentally, they were at the point when the two leads were deciding to end their romance because of reasons beyond their control.

_Cruel_ _irony_, thought Clare.

"Remember, you two are in love. You can't live without each other and it kills you that you have to end this," Adam instructed the students playing the two leads.

The duo began redoing the scene on the stage when a third person joined Adam and Clare.

"Good news, Sir Director," Eli said upon his arrival, standing on Adam's right hand side. "The props are coming along smoothly and the set are looking good."

"And costumes?"

"They are great."

"Fantastic," Adam smiled. "We are going to rock on opening night."

"We still have two months," Eli reminded.

"That means we still have time to fix everything that needs to be fixed," he replied, noticing how Eli made it his point to stand away from Clare. The only sounds that broke the discomforting silence were the voices of the actors (not that they helped).

"Mary, I love you, but we can't continue this way," the guy who played Jonathan proclaimed.

"Please, Jonathan, I love you dearly. We can be together if you would just take this chance with me," pleaded the student who portrayed Mary.

"He can't," Clare muttered under her breath, seeing herself as the Jonathan in her and Eli's situation. It was evil how the play was mimicking their lives.

She looked to her right and saw Eli standing next to Adam while he stared at his shoes, loathing the irony of this situation. The atmosphere turned even more unbearable and disheartening. She needed to escape.

"I'm going to go check out those costumes," she said quietly before stepping away.

She left the auditorium, Eli watching her over his shoulder as she went. He turned away once she was gone and faced the stage.

"Still not talking?" Adam guessed.

"I don't know what to say to her. I've tried, but I can't think of anything."

"Tell her how you feel."

"You realize that is one of the most clichéd lines ever," Eli pointed out.

"Well, sometimes clichéd is the way to go."

"Okay, but telling her how I feel isn't going to work."

"Why? You two like talking about your feelings."

"Yeah, but I'm not going to go up to her and say, 'I'm in love with you, please give us another chance, we are meant to be together, blah, blah, blah'. I've already made her feel suffocated enough."

"Then just go and tell her that you don't like not talking to her. She'll listen to that."

Eli heeded Adam's advice and a minute later he was walking down the hall towards the Art room. Clare was in there, observing how the costume designers were doing. She was watched Sadie sew a patch onto a dress to make it look more peasant-like.

"That looks great," Clare congratulated.

"Thanks," she replied.

"Clare," a voice that was painfully familiar said.

Stomach churning with pain and nerves, Clare looked over her shoulder. Sure enough, Eli was standing at the entrance. His eyes read distress, but his face looked nothing but determined.

"Can we talk?"

"Uh . . ."

She looked at him, then the dress as if it would give her guidance, and back to him again.

"Sure," she accepted.

"Thanks," he said with great, yet subtle, appreciation.

"Keep up the good work, guys," she told all the designers before exiting the Art room to talk to Eli.

It was now just her and Eli all alone in the abandoned hallway. It was uncomfortable considering they haven't spoken to each other in nearly three days. Clare crossed her arms and tried to look at him.

"So . . . what's going on?" she asked.

"We haven't talked in a few days. I just wanted to know how you were doing."

Clare didn't answer. Either she said she was fine and basically give him the wrong idea that she didn't care about what happened Saturday or she said how she really felt and they risk getting into whirlwind of confusion. To give him some sort of response, she shrugged her shoulders.

"How about you?" she asked.

"Same," he replied. "Um . . ." He approached the next subject with caution, knowing that he could be entering dangerous waters. "When you came over Saturday, you said that we were still together, but it doesn't really seem like we are right now."

"I've noticed," she acceded. "I mean, I was going to call you and stuff, but . . . things are a bit awkward. _This_ right now is awkward."

"I agree," he said. "But . . . maybe we should . . . try to talk more. Try to get over the weirdness and stuff."

Clare bit her lip and looked at the ground. She wanted to have a healthy relationship with Eli, but it was going to be rough after what happened. If she had to be honest with herself, she just wished that this whole circumstance never happened, but she couldn't change the past so she just had to move forward no matter how hard it was going to be.

"I guess we could try and do that."

Reassurance made his intense mood relax a little, but the thorn that was in his heart was still there.

"Cool. Can we . . . hang out or something when we're done here?" he asked guardedly.

"I have work and my dad's picking me up," she added, knowing he would offer her a ride.

Eli understood that pushing the invitation was going to make her feel trapped and he never wanted to do that to her again. Thus, instead of entreating her to hang out, he decided to ease off.

"Alright," he accepted. "Then I'll just see you here tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Um . . . I'm going to go overlook the set design team."

"And I gotta help Adam."

"I'll see you around."

Not saying another word, she retreated back to the Art room. Eli watched her go, wishing with all his heart that he was still going to marry her one day. She said that she had stuff to figure out, but she also said that she might change her mind someday. He really hoped that was the case, but he knew it was a long shot.

()()

Eli drove home and went straight to his room. He was glad that he and Clare had a calm conversation, but they were not exactly comfortable with each other; he sensed it. There was no way that they were going to be able to talk like that again. He knew that the more they'd speak, the worst they would feel and the last thing he wanted was for Clare to be sad or feel the way she felt right now.

At the same time, however, he hated this feeling and he didn't want to endure it anymore. Not even four days and he was hanging by a thread. He wanted – needed – Clare to be a part of his life, but how was that going to happen when they couldn't stand being around each other?

Eli then got on the phone to Adam and talked to him for at least three hours. He was a true friend. He was always there when you needed him no matter what. Eli vented and vented and Adam gave him the best advice he could to get over this pain. Once he was off the phone, he tried to get some sleep, his dreams being stalked by heartache and devastation.

* * *

"_What hurts the most was being so close_

_And having so much to say and watching you walk away _

_And never knowing what could have been"_

_~"What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts_

* * *

I'm probably not going to watch Degrassi when it comes on again. It's not worth the frustration. I'll probably watch reruns once the season is over, you guys can send me info, I'll see stuff on Twitter, and I may start watching it again one day when I learn not to obsess so much over it. But for now, I'm sticking with fanfiction. I actually like some of the stuff on here more than the actual show. Call me weird, but that's how I feel.

Anyway, Chap 58 has been in the works since the beginning, so it should be updated sometime before the weekend is over or Monday. Reviews pretty please?


	58. Haunted

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks a million for the reviews everyone! Thank you My world of Eli. Your review made me smile. And, Christina Grey, thanks for telling me that! Now I don't feel alone in the Degrassi world. Read, review . . . read, review!

Disclaimer: Degrassi isn't owned by this chick!

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Haunted

The next few days weren't any better. They weren't avoiding each other intentionally, but they couldn't stand being in the same room for more than five minutes without wanting to explode. By Wednesday, Clare had resorted to not looking at Eli at all during English and he always went to Morty during lunch. During study periods, Clare went to the library while Eli and Adam roamed the hallways.

They did try to talk, but the memories from Saturday plagued them. It was strange. A month ago, they were content with their lives, but now they were falling apart. They wanted everything to be normal, not awkward. Unfortunately, no one gets everything they want. If that was true, the two of them would be getting married with no fears, doubts, or hesitations.

Eli was hurt because she broke this promise and he couldn't get over it. Clare still loved him, so he didn't understand why this was torturing him so much. He just wanted to talk to her the way he used to. He wanted them to laugh and smile again and not give each other the cold shoulder fifty times a day.

He hated things being so complicated . . . and that's why he had to do this . . .

He drove down the road Friday afternoon. His heart was already fractured, but now it was about to be broken into a thousand pieces. He also knew that what he felt now was nothing compared to how Clare was probably going to feel. He had no choice . . . this had to be done if there was a chance of moving on from this torture.

He pulled Morty to the front of Clare's home. Taking one deep breath, he mustered the courage to get out of the car and walk to the house. Eli knocked on the front door and waited a few seconds before Clare's face appeared. Her face turned red at the sight of him.

"Hey," he greeted awkwardly.

"Hey," she repeated.

"Can I talk to you? It's important."

She nodded reluctantly and let him into the house. They went into the living room. It was clear that Clare was still pretty upset and confused like she'd been the last few days by the way she avoided Eli's eye as he sat on the couch and she sat on the armchair.

"We barely talked these last few days," she stated, trying to get the conversation going.

"I know . . . this is the most we've spoken in a while."

"Yeah," she agreed. She took a breath and finally mustered up the courage to look at him. "Look, I did try to speak to you, I really did. I just . . . it's hard, you know?"

"I feel the same way. Don't beat yourself up over it."

The silence settled in, causing Clare to look away again. Neither of them had any idea what was happening. Were they together? Were they friends? Were they more than friends? They didn't know. Ambiguity was all that existed right now and it was driving them into madness. It was becoming too much for either of them to take.

"Eli, what's going on with us?" Clare then asked, facing him again.

He looked right at her. For the first time in what felt like ages, he saw her eyes and the pain that existed in them. He wanted to eliminate that pain from her so much, but he knew that the only way to do that was to go back in time and never ask her to marry him. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option, so he needed to do something to help ease the hell he put her through . . . but there had to be more pain first.

"That's why I'm here," he finally began. "I know this is going to sound cruel and unfair, but I don't know what else to do."

"Whatever you have to say I deserve it," Clare said, looking Eli straight in the eye for the first time in days. His emerald eyes were hurt, broken, yet determined.

"Clare, it really hurt me when you said we couldn't get married. I understand you need time and everything, but since then I've been thinking of, literally, nothing but you. I love you more than anyone so this hasn't been easy on me. And, as far as I know, we didn't break up, but if our relationship is going to be us not talking, awkward silences, and avoiding each other . . ."

He broke off to rub his eyes and he tried to take a breath. This was breaking his heart and he knew it was going to break Clare's. He remembered saying to Adam not long ago how he refused to break Clare's heart in any way, but he was going back on his word now and he hated himself for it.

"Eli?" Clare asked, very worried and anxious at this point. She got off the armchair and sat across from him on the coffee table.

After a few deep breaths, Eli composed himself and finished what he was trying to say.

"If this is how our relationship is going to be then maybe we should end it."

Eli spoke these words with much guilt and regret, but he knew they had to be said. He looked back up at her. Tears were now hiding her eyes. She blinked and they fell out onto her cheeks.

"A-Are you breaking up with me?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"I'm sorry," Eli whispered, looking back down at his feet.

Clare saw this coming and she thought she was prepared for it. But now that the words were spoken, she felt as though she was just thrown out of a building and shattered like fragile glass after it hits the concrete. Her biggest fear had come true. She tried not to shake out of agony and it took all the willpower she had to not let anymore tears fall from her eyes.

Although what Eli said was excruciating and heartbreaking, she knew he was right. They couldn't continue ignoring each other and feeling uncomfortable whenever they were together. If that was what their relationship would consist of now, it wasn't worth the pain the two of them would go through if they kept it that way.

"I love you too," she spoke at last. "And I'm sorry that I broke our promise and . . . I don't want us to break up. But, if we're this way now, odds are things will remain this way for a while . . . and I don't think I can handle that."

"Me neither," Eli admitted. "And isn't this whole thing just going to be in the back of our minds the whole time if we are together?"

"It'll be in the back of mine, that's for sure," Clare said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Mine too."

Eli looked at the ground for a second and took a deep breath before looking back up at Clare and continuing.

"I think what we both need is time to figure things out on our own . . . give each other space . . . and give us both time to get over the last few days," Eli presented. "And . . . maybe after that we could possibly see what we could do."

After a few seconds of silence Clare replied her opinion.

"Okay."

They sat there, no longer confused and hurt . . . just empty and alone.

"Um . . . I'll talk to Miss Dawes about working alone for a while in English, and I'll sit somewhere else at lunch so nothing is weird, and I'll help with the sets and –."

"Clare," Eli interrupted, "school's not going to be a problem."

"Why not?" she asked, taken aback.

Eli composed his thoughts before he said another word. What he was about to say, surprisingly enough, was going to be the most hurtful thing either of them would do or speak today.

"I'm leaving for a while."

Clare felt her heart jolt, hoping that what she just heard was a figment of her imagination that was brought on by the heartache of an ended relationship.

"What?"

"I'm leaving."

"Eli, running away isn't going to fix –."

"I'm not running away. I just need to get away for a while and think about these last few days and this last year."

"What do you mean this last year?" Clare asked, now worried that she did something else to hurt him.

"I mean with me taking your virginity, Kate coming between us, promising this in the first place, and just us in general. And I need to think about what else is out there for me outside our relationship. You were right about me becoming consumed by you."

Clare looked down and wiped her eyes, smearing her eye makeup as she did so, but she could care less about it. After realizing she couldn't hide the tears anymore, she looked back up at Eli, whose eyes were also swelling with tears.

"You're leaving. For how long? Where are you gonna go?"

"I don't know how long, but I'll be back hopefully in maybe in a week or so. I'm going to find a place somewhere a few hours away and stay there until I clear my head."

He didn't want to tell her where he was going. He needed to be in a place where no one would know where he was other than his parents and Adam.

"But what about your parents, or Adam, or –?" She stopped herself before she said "me".

"My parents understand why I have to go. They're going to talk to Simpson about why I'll be gone for a few days. I talked to Adam last night and he said that he understands."

Eli left out of part when he told Adam to take care of Clare after he left; he knew the last thing she needed to hear was anything like _that_.

Clare took a shuddering breath, not wanting to believe that he was really going to leave.

"When are you leaving?" she asked, hoping he would have time to change his mind and stay.

Eli looked Clare directly in the eye.

"Today."

Clare felt her breath get caught in her throat, wishing what he just said was a lie.

"Today?" she repeated.

"I came by to explain what I'm doing . . . and to say goodbye."

Eli didn't want to leave, but he felt like he didn't have a choice. He knew it would be difficult to pack and leave for a while, but now that he was here, saying goodbye to Clare, the woman he was still deeply in love with, he knew it was going to be _way_ harder than he thought.

Clare felt another tear sting her eye. She understood why he had to leave . . . but it still hurt her beyond imagination. She cleared her throat before saying something else, mainly so she wouldn't have to hear the thoughts of her own head.

"It's only temporary, right?" she asked. She wasn't quite sure though if she was referring to his getaway, their breakup, or both.

"I hope," Eli replied, thinking along the same lines.

Neither of them knew what to say after this. Everything that came to their minds was either too heartbreaking to admit or would just make them feel worse about the situation.

"I should go," Eli said after two or three minutes.

Clare nodded reluctantly as the two of them stood up while they each avoided each other's eye. She followed Eli as he walked out the front door, the remains of their hearts slowly ripping apart. They silently walked to Morty, the waterworks getting ready to spill out of their eyes. Before he walked to the other side of the car, Eli turned to Clare. His tears were standing in his eyes like water filled to the rim of a glass that looked like the slightest disturbance would make the liquid slide down the sides.

"Try not to get into too much trouble when I'm gone," he tried to tease through his depressed demeanor.

"How can I? My partner in crime won't be here," Clare attempted to smile as she tried to keep her own tears deep in her eyes. "I'll make sure Adam doesn't get into trouble. But . . . be careful."

"I will if you will."

They both knew that saying goodbye with words was hard enough, so they knew presenting it physically was going to be torture.

"So . . . I better get going," Eli said after a brief pause.

"Yeah," Clare agreed, knowing that the longer he stayed the more painful his departure would be.

"Bye, Clare," he said softly.

"Bye, Eli."

He walked around to the driver's side of the car. With one last glance at Clare, he climbed in and started the engine. He wiped his eyes and put the car in gear. His heart in shreds, he started to drive down the street. Kingston was screeching his name and that's where he needed to go.

Clare watched as the hearse drove farther and farther away. She felt tears roll down her face as she let the love of her life continue on his way out of her world. This wasn't right. She shouldn't let him leave . . . she couldn't let him leave.

She loved Eli with every fiber of her being and would always will. Her sudden emotions overpowered her mind and what she did next she wouldn't have done for just some other guy.

Clare started running down the street as fast as she could after the hearse and, more importantly, the person driving it.

"Eli!" she shouted, running as fast as she could. "Eli, wait!"

She sprinted faster than ever. She was gaining on him. She was only a few yards away when she screamed his name as loud as she could with all the power she could muster.

"_ELI_!"

Clare wasn't sure if he heard her or if he just saw her running towards him in his review mirror, but the car pulled over to the side of the road. She saw Eli get out of the car; his face was drenched in tears and he turned to see Clare a few feet away from the hearse. He walked onto the sidewalk as Clare ran to him.

When Clare reached him, she flung her arms around him and began to cry harder than ever. She felt Eli wrap his arms around her and she heard a few sobs escape him. Still crying, Clare pulled herself away so she could look at him. She grabbed the sides of his jacket out of the fear that he would rush back to Morty and drive away.

"You don't have to go," she cried hurriedly. "W-We can work this out like we've always done."

"Clare, please," Eli protested.

"No, listen. Leaving is just going to create more problems. If you stay here, at least we have a chance of fixing this. We can go talk to someone or we could talk and figure this out. I'll do anything if you don't go, _please_!"

"Don't do this, Clare," he pleaded.

"You can't go, Eli!"

"We both know I have to."

"No, you don't! I'll . . . I'll marry you! We can drive to Vegas and get married tonight!"

"Do you hear yourself?" he almost yelled as he put his hands on her wrists, hoping she would release his jacket. "You're going back on what you said a mere few days ago! You said you weren't ready to get married! You can't just turn around a few days later and take it back just because I'm leaving for a while!"

"Please, just stay here!" she begged, tears still pouring like rain onto her cheeks.

Eli looked down at the ground and shook his head as he came to a realization.

"Don't you see what's happening?" he asked. "You're changing because of me. You're changing _for_ me."

"No, I'm not. I'm becoming a better person because of you."

"Think about it. You beat up someone, you lost your virginity, and you agreed to marry someone at a young age. You never would've done that with someone else."

"You _aren't_ just someone else to me, Eli! Remember what we said to each other at the beginning of the school year? We said we were the ones for each other."

"But you don't want to get married? Explain to me how that makes sense, Clare," Eli told her. "And you said a few days ago that we rushed into things by saying that."

"I just said I'd marry you tonight."

"You're not thinking clearly!"

"Because you're leaving! I need you to stay here!"

"You're putting your morals aside for of me! I can't handle that! I don't want to change you!"

"You aren't changing me!" she argued.

"If I wasn't leaving right now, you still wouldn't want to get married. We would still be avoiding each other and not do anything about it. That proves that we need time alone. We need to find who we are again and we need to figure some things out. And we both need to learn to not let the other consume our lives. That's why we need to break up and that's why I need to leave. I'm sorry, but I don't know what else to do."

Clare heard these words and let them sink in; he was serious about leaving and nothing she could say was going to change his mind. Shaking, she released his jacket while he released her wrists and she thought about what he said.

"Y-You're right. You should leave for a while. And m-maybe breaking up is for the best," she cried. There was nothing left to be done . . . it was time to leave this behind . . . and that was her equilibrium of everlasting torture. "I gotta go."

Without another word, Clare ran back down the street, into her house, and into her room. She buried her face into her pillow and cried and cried for hours until she fell into a deep sleep. After she left him on the side of the street, Eli climbed into the hearse and drove away, crying as he did so. He drove and drove for hours, only stopping to fill up on gas until he got to Kingston.

* * *

"_Come on, come on _

_Don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Something's gone terribly wrong_

_You're all I wanted"_

_~"Haunted" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

I know plenty of you must hate me at this point, but PLEASE DON'T STOP READING THIS STORY! It's not even close to being done and it will be tough for me to continue writing this if my characters were 150 miles away and broken up. Plus, it would become very repetitive if I left it that way and it wouldn't be an EClare ROMANCE fic anymore, would it? Reviews please! CONTINUE READING! If you want to read something happy, check out my stories "Speak Now" and "That's the Way It Is" if you haven't already.


	59. Sick

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for your reviews! And, Babo and HowIsTheDRAMAQUEEN, thank you for your reviews. They made me smile. I'm SO glad you both like this story! And, kylieegirl, Eli will still be in this story, don't worry. I love writing our dude of darkness, so he's not going anywhere. He won't be in this chapter, however. And, MadameDegrassi4587, don't give up on me yet! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but I do own a very, very, _very_ awesome Escape the Fate poster on my wall and Craig Mabbitt's eyes are looking at my bed so he watches me as I dream . . . sorry, creepy moment over!

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Sick

Clare woke up hours later that day Friday. She checked the time and saw that it was seven-thirty. She had fallen asleep with her heart broken and the nap didn't ease her pain. She remembered Eli coming over, breaking up with her, and leaving Toronto. Once again, warm teardrops came to her eyes and began to cascade down her cheeks.

Tears and running mascara stained her pillow while she cried. Clare felt so disappointed with herself. She let him slip away and this was her punishment. She led him on, gave him false hope, and broke his heart. How could she do this to someone who loved her more than life? He was willing to spend the rest of his life with her, but she did this to him return? After being together for a year and vowing to be with him forever, she lost him.

_Knock! __Knock! __Knock!_

Clare sat up, wiped her eyes and face, and sniffled before speaking.

"Come in," she permitted.

Her father poked his head in her door.

"Hey."

"Hey," she replied, trying not to cry again.

"Are you alright?" Randall asked concernedly, seeing the sadness in her eyes.

Clare shook her head in response to her father's question. He entered the room and sat next to Clare.

"What's wrong?"

Clare felt tears come to her again and she faced the ground.

"E-Eli and I broke up."

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry."

"Please," she scoffed. "You're happy that I'm not with him anymore and that I'm not going to marry him."

This was true, but he couldn't say it aloud. Randall learned that Clare had told Eli that she couldn't marry him therefore he was calmer and actually speaking to Clare again. Yes, he was still disappointed that she lost her virginity and agreed to marry Eli for that short period of time, but at least his daughter wasn't going through with it. He wasn't angry at his daughter anymore; however, he still resented Eli for everything he did . . . and this was just another point against him. How dare this teenage boy make his little girl cry like she was now!

He didn't respond to Clare's words. Instead, he pulled her into a comforting, fatherly hug. She cried a bit before she spoke again.

"What? No 'I told you so' or 'you should've listened to your mother and I'?" she asked through her tears.

"No."

It didn't matter to him now if she wasn't pure or that she made a huge promise to get married at a young age. Clare was crying and he hated seeing her cry.

"What happened?" he asked soothingly.

Clare sniffled before answering while her father continued to hug her.

"A-All week . . . we hardly spoke b-because it was too hard to us a-after I told him I couldn't marry him. T-Today he came over and . . . we realized that we couldn't continue our relationship. And then . . . then . . ."

"What?"

"H-He left, Dad. He's going somewhere to figure things out."

_How __mature_, Randall sneered sarcastically in his mind. _Running __away __from __his __problems._

Once again, he kept his thoughts to himself so he wouldn't upset Clare more than she already was.

"Where did he go?"

"He didn't tell me."

Randall didn't know what else to say without bringing up Eli, which was the last thing Clare wanted to hear. He simply allowed her to cry and cry until she could cry no more.

()()

Clare was haunted by the constant reminder of Eli's absence. When she went to Degrassi on Monday, she noticed that the atmosphere of the school felt different. Not seeing Morty stationed in the parking lot broke her heart; she could no longer deny the fact that his departure wasn't just a bad dream that was caused by the heartbreak of a broken relationship. His locker was closed and he wasn't there to open it. Since Clare's locker was close to his, she kept glancing at it, praying that Eli would somehow step into the halls . . . only he never did.

Unable to handle the fact that he was truly gone, Clare quickly retrieved all her necessary supplies from her locker and rushed to her homeroom. Much to her dismay, running to the class didn't mean she could run away from her loneliness.

English was the hardest class that day. Eli wasn't sitting in front of her and it gave her an unfamiliar and anguished feeling. She missed his sense of humor and smirk when they isolated each other's existence last week, but now it was as if they never existed. It took every ounce of willpower that existed in her to not start tearing up in the middle of class. It also didn't help that Kate Parker gave her pleased and slightly triumphant sneers at every opportunity.

When there were only five minutes left in class, Clare was finished with all her work and asked Miss Dawes if she could go to the bathroom. The teacher allowed it and she left with her belongings. By the time she got to the restroom, tears were attacking her face. Maybe she was acting slightly hysterical, but she didn't care. All she cared about was the abandonment and sadness that resided within her heart.

It was no mystery that she was missing him. His vacancy from Degrassi gave the school dimness. It was sort of ironic considering he was known for his gloom at the school, but it seemed darker without him. Well, at least the school was darker in Clare's opinion. Whenever Eli was around, her days were brighter and more joyful, but that didn't exist now that he was gone.

Clare then heard the bell ring, signaling morning study period. She didn't want people coming in asking her why she was crying, so she got some paper towel, dried her tears, blew her nose, and check her reflection to see if it was obvious that she had been weeping. It was slightly evident, but she wasn't in the mood to reapply her makeup or anything, so she decided to lie and tell people that she had allergies if they were oh-so curious as to why her eyes were red.

Clare exited the bathroom and made a beeline for her locker. It was at times like this when she wished Eli could come hug her and give his comfort while he whispered "I love you" in her ear. But he wasn't here to do that anymore and she didn't know where he could be.

Little did she know that this bad day was just about to get worse. It started as she stood at her locker when he appeared out of nowhere . . .

"Hey."

She turned away from her locker and saw K.C standing next to her. They haven't spoken since Halloween carnival and she wanted it to remain that way. Evidently, luck wasn't on her side.

"What?" she demanded, turning back to her locker so she wouldn't have to see him.

"I heard about what happened," K.C stated.

Clare faced him again, her stare made of ice.

"You don't know anything."

"You and Eli were planning on getting married, you backed out, he broke up with you, and he left."

This was accurate down to the last statement. How did he know? The only other person at Degrassi other than Clare (and previously Eli) who had any idea about this situation was Adam, so how did K.C Guthrie find out?

"How do you know that?"

"You know how things are around here; secrets don't last very long."

It wasn't enough that she had to deal with this, but now the _entire_ school knew. More rumors were soon going to circulate with no doubt. The universe was definitely not playing in Clare's favor these days.

"I'm sorry, Clare," K.C said.

"I don't want your pity."

"How about sympathy?" he wondered.

"No. I just want you and everyone to leave me alone. This isn't anyone else's business."

K.C, however, had a final unanswered question that he wanted to get to the bottom of for it has been poking at his curiosity for a few weeks now.

"Can I ask you something?"

Before Clare could protest, he asked his question.

"Is it just _you_ he left behind or did he also a leave . . . part of him with you?"

"What are you talking about?" she stipulated, not having any idea where this could possibly go.

"Um . . . I heard that . . . there was a chance that you could . . . be . . ." K.C said, not wanting to deal with an angry Clare again like he had to whenever he tried to speak with her.

Not needing to hear anymore, Clare deciphered what he was trying to say.

"Jenna told you that she thought I was pregnant?" she guessed, closing her locker.

"I know it was weeks ago, but . . ."

K.C was, once again, showing his nerve by asking her these kinds of questions concerning Eli when it was perfectly clear that she did not wish to talk about him.

"I'm not pregnant and I never was pregnant. Now will you, Jenna, and everyone else in this freaking school mind their own business?" she snapped.

"Look, I was just asking –."

"Don't!"

"You know what, Clare –?"

Before K.C could get another word out, Adam was by Clare's side.

"Hey, leave her alone, okay?" Adam snapped at K.C. "Come on, Clare."

Adam shoved passed K.C and Clare followed, relieved that she wouldn't have to deal with _him_ anymore.

"Thanks," she said with a load of appreciation.

"No problem," Adam replied. "Are you okay?"

Adam tried to speak to Clare countless times throughout the day already, but it was clear that she didn't want to talk. In fact, all she wanted was to go home and hope for Eli to come home. However, Adam wised that Clare would open up to him a bit and talk about the thoughts that plagued her heart.

This was the first act of kindness that someone had given her in a while. Sure, her father tried to help, but she knew his opinions towards Eli. Adam didn't have any grudges against Eli, so Clare couldn't help but relax around him.

"No," she finally answered.

She sat on the bench and rubbed her eyes.

"Eli?" he guessed.

Clare nodded. At last, three days worth of anger, heartache, and confusion erupted from her.

"I get why we broke up, but why did he have to leave? Why did he do that? He knew this was going to hurt me!"

"You like how you knew giving back the promise ring was going to hurt him?" Adam acknowledged.

"I didn't have a choice!"

"And Eli doesn't have a choice here either."

"Yes, he did! He could've stayed and we could've talked!"

"Clare, you also could've talked before you gave him back your ring."

"You don't understand! If I stayed with him in that way, I would've ended up breaking his heart!"

"Not if you guys _talked_ about everything! If you guys both calmly discussed your problems and explained to him that you needed time instead of keeping it bottled up for so long that, this could've been prevented!"

"We don't know that! And that was different. I was walking away from a commitment I didn't know I could make. He _broke __up_ with me and left! I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't stay!"

"He felt alone, Clare. He knew that it was only a matter of time until you two broke up once you went to his house that day. He can't get over the best relationship he's ever been in by seeing you every day. He had to go somewhere where nothing would remind him of you."

"How do you know?"

"Because . . . because I told him to leave."

Clare didn't expect this.

"What?"

Adam took a breath. The cat was out of the bag; there was no point in denying it or trying to cover it up.

"I said that it would probably be best if you two went your separate ways for a while. He said that he wouldn't be able to take being around you if you guys broke up, especially if he was the one breaking it off, so I told him to go away until he could cope. I also suggested that he should also think about some stuff while he's gone. The only thing he expects at this point is serenity."

"Wait, _you_ told him to break up with me and _you_ told him to leave Toronto?" she summarized.

"It was for the best," Adam said in an attempt to defend himself.

Clare was astounded. Adam put this idea into Eli's head? _Adam_ _Torres_? The person who always tried to fix them when they were broken was the reason they were now apart? It didn't make sense.

"Why would you do that? It was none of your business!"

"None of my business?" he echoed. "Both of you are my best friends and it isn't pleasant seeing you guys act all weird around each other! It kills me when you and Eli are like that! It feels like the Kate thing all over again, except this is a million times worse because you two know that you can't just say that this was a mutual understanding!"

"Adam, this was Eli and I's problem! You had no right –."

"I get that you're pissed but I didn't want to suggest this to him either. I was just thinking about what was best for him right now. And, right now, he needs time away from everything. This past year has been a rollercoaster and he needs to recover from it."

"It isn't your job to play God and fix everyone else's problems."

"Oh, so if I didn't interfere, you two would talk, make up, and be all happy and stuff again?"

Clare didn't answer. She hated to admit it, but Adam was right. The only step either of them took was having one conversation and agreeing to make an attempt to talk more, but that plan fell through.

Adam took a breath to calm down. He knew he was coming down hard on Clare, but he was upset that his best friend was so far away.

"Clare, Eli called me in tears a few nights ago and he didn't know what else to do. I talked to him and suggested this. I want him to be here to, but right now we have to think about what's best for _him_."

Clare inhaled through her nose, demanding herself not to shed anymore tears while she was in school. She understood why Adam did what he did. She did miss Eli, but she couldn't be selfish about this. If Eli needed time to be alone, she had to respect that. She needed time barely two weeks ago and, because she didn't receive it, they were now in this situation.

"I just . . . I miss him, Adam. I haven't gone this long without seeing him in a long time and . . . I don't know when I'll see him again."

"He'll come back eventually," Adam attempted to comfort her.

"And what will happen when he does?" Clare demanded. "Will we get back together and hope to get married one day? Will he realize that doesn't want to be with me anymore? Or will we avoid each other, never speak to each other again, and become strangers?"

"I don't know, Clare."

"You planned all this out. What do you expect to happen?"

Adam shrugged.

"I expect you both to do what you should've done before he gave you the promise ring. _Think _about your relationship with him and figure out if you want to have a life with Eli or not. And then, when he gets back, _talk_. After that, and _only_ after that, you decide what to do with your lives. No running away, avoiding each other, or anything until you two know if you want to get back together or not."

"So, basically, you want us to do what we should've done in the beginning?" she encapsulated.

"Precisely," Adam nodded.

()()

Eli stuck to her mind the whole day. She hoped that school work would distract her, but it didn't. When she got home from work that evening, she went straight to her room and began to sob. Eli was really gone and it was distressful. He wasn't there to give her a ride to school, kiss her on the lips, or walk her to her English class. She didn't realize how much Eli meant to her until he was gone . . . now everything was empty. She tried to remember what her life was like before he became a huge part of it . . . she couldn't recall.

Was she just feeling this low because it was the first day at school without him? No. Simply no. It was hard because she loved him with all her heart and, in a blink of an eye, he was gone and he didn't look back.

Clare tried to follow Adam's request and give thought to her life plans. Did she want Eli in her life? Did she want to marry him? Would they overcome any struggles they would have if they did decide to get married? Did she want to even get married at all? Was there anything else she could do with her life? These were all questions she would have to give some serious contemplation before she could have any reconciliation with Eli. In fact, she was beginning to see how his disappearance was a blessing in disguise.

For the rest of the night, Clare thought and thought and thought some more about what she had to do about her life and Eli. It was hard. She weighed the pros and cons of each situation and thought of the consequences of each. By the time she decided to go to bed, she hadn't even made a dent in her mountain of thoughts.

Sleep didn't take her immediately. While she waited for her inner sandman to come, she began to wonder where Eli was, how he was doing, and if he was in much pain as she was . . .

* * *

"_Oceans between us_

_And there's nothing that can change the way I feel_

_I can still taste the poison"_

_~"Sick" by Evanescence_

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I'll update before Friday! Reviews please!


	60. My Heart Is Broken

**ECLARE ****FAN ****FOREVER ****BABY! **(Take notice of this statement, my friends)

OH MY ROWLING! CHAPTER SIXTY! Sweet! Thanks everyone for your awesome reviews! Babo, thank you for your words and yes, I mentioned you again. After some contemplation, I decided to go with simplecrafter's suggestion and write this chapter in Eli's POV. I'm sorry it's short, but I don't want to be repetitive (I feel like I did that a lot when EClare was going through the Kate drama). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but I do own a light saber (which, according to my sister, I am OCD about).

* * *

Chapter Sixty

My Heart Is Broken

Nothing was helping Eli at this point. It was Monday night and he had no clue that Clare was in her room trying to review her plans for life. Meanwhile, he was walking to a local Kingston bar only three blocks away from the motel he was staying in for the time being.

He was alone in the world and that's how he had to be right now. Eli only texted his parents and Adam to let him know that he was alright (and by "alright" he meant "still breathing"), but he never replied back when they texted a response. He was relieved that Clare never texted him or tried to contact him. He left Toronto to get away from her so he couldn't be influenced by her.

He needed to analyze all the thoughts in his head and figure out if he and Clare were supposed to be together, if he was capable of living a life without Clare being the center of it, or if there was any way to repair the damage between them.

He attempted to clear the thoughts in his head, but he always failed. Over the past three days, Eli tried to find ways to organize the thoughts in his head and discover the most logical solutions. He sat and pondered for hours . . . nothing. He attempted to find the answer through writing . . . nothing. He even talked to a God that he didn't believe in . . . nothing (not that he expected much).

Every tactic he used had failed miserably and he was now resorting to this . . .

He stepped into the bar known as _Freeman's_. It was dark, dingy, and its appearance was as ancient as the grave, but he could care less as long as it had alcohol. Only six people were in there including him. There was an aging bartender with dark skin and silver hair standing behind the vacant bar. He saw a group of three women sitting at a table as they drank and spoke in low voices while a single man sitting at a table in the corner drinking heavily from a glass of whiskey.

Not really wanting to associate himself with the other occupants, Eli tramped to the bar and took a seat. He showed the bartender his fake ID before ordering a beer. The bartender gave him a bottle and Eli took a gulp, hoping for the pain to be eased as he listened to the vague sound of old classic rock songs playing in the background from the old radio.

He had only gotten drunk once in his life after Julia died, but he was sober ever since . . . that is until the alcohol passed his lips at this point in time. He drank the liquid and tried, once again, to think about what he was doing and what could be done.

He knew that he hurt Clare by leaving her in tears like he did, but it was necessary. Eli never expected her to run after him and make pleas for him to stay in Toronto. Usually, he would have caved in and stayed.

Everything was different now . . . _Clare_ was different now and he knew that he was the reason. Or, at least, that's what he thought until this moment . . .

Yes, Clare punched Kate, but that was because she couldn't keep in her anger anymore. She did lose her virginity to him and maybe she considered it _for him_, however he never pressured her or made her feel obligated to do it. She decided to give herself to him merely because she was in love with him. She could've told him to stop while they made love or she could've said that she didn't want to, but she didn't. And she _did_ promise to marry him one day. He then thought of some of the last few words he said to her before he drove away.

"_You never would've done that with someone else."_

"_You _aren't_ just someone else to me, Eli!" was what she said to him._

Then it dawned on him that _he_ didn't change Clare . . . Clare was simply changing. He didn't do it to her. Instead, it was the lucid fact that she was growing and experiencing effects of being in love. When he received this epiphany, he realized that he had basically left her behind after accusing her of something that was completely false.

"Moron," he muttered to himself.

"You alright, kid?" the bartender asked after Eli ordered his fourth bottle.

Eli looked and saw the bartender's gentle, benevolent black eyes. He wasn't sure if he was becoming so drunk that his judgment was compromised, if he actually saw trust in the man, or if he just needed to release the pain of his heart, but Eli began speaking.

"I just lost the love of my life and all because I was an idiot for not being more considerate of her feelings and I suffocated her and that led her to push me away. You see, I asked her to marry me and . . . a week later she called it quits. She doesn't know if I-I'm the one for her anymore even though we . . . we've been together for over a year and she's told me that I'm the one for her hundreds of times! How can she lead me on like that? She knows how much I love her!"

"Tough break, son," the barman replied. He observed his problems every day for as long as he could remember, therefore he was used to this. He was there to listen, but he also gave advice when he could. This kid had not opened up to him enough yet so he could actually give him advice yet; he had to listen to his story a bit more.

Sober Eli probably would've kept his mouth closed and not give the details of his personal life to this stranger. Intoxicated Eli, however, didn't care if he vented to the bartender.

"I took her virginity," he started again. "She was going to wait until marriage, but gave herself to me! And this was _before_ I asked her to marry me. I feel . . . dirty for doing that to her now," he slurred before taking another drink. "I-If we were still together and if we were . . . still together . . . still together . . . if we were still together . . ."

The alcohol was now affecting his speech. He was unaware of the many times he repeated "still together". The bartender saw the difficulty he was having, so he took a shot in the dark.

"If you two were still together, you wouldn't feel as bad about doing it?"

"Exactly!" he exclaimed drunkenly, banging his fist on the table.

He tried to take another drink of beer only to find that only droplets remained in the bottle. He asked for another and the bartender obliged.

"It sounds like you have quite the romantic dilemma on your hands."

"And that's not the worst part," Eli continued before drinking again. "We live in Toronto and my best friend suggested that I . . . break up with her and then leave for a while so we could have time a part to figure things out. That is not going well for me!"

His head started to spin slightly, the alcohol starting to get to him more and more. He shook the feeling off before speaking again.

"She came after me and I pushed her away! I break up with her, I come up here to freaking _Kingston_, and I didn't even consider staying even though she begged me to!"

The painful memories coming back to him, Eli took the bottle and chugged a quarter of it.

"And I miss her, man. I'm still in love with her and I probably always will be."

"Then why don't you go back?" the bartender suggested.

"Because I don't know what will happen," Eli replied plainly. "I don't know what to do without her! I love her and I can't live without her! But she could very easily not love me anymore and I can't blame her after all I put her through this year. Don't even get me started on the things I did to her that I will never, never, _never_ forgive myself for!"

"Don't worry, I won't."

Eli drained the rest of his bottle. He was beginning to see why shouldn't be with Clare. He was always the one to make her cry or to hurt her since the school year started. He remembered all the things he told Kate before he went to dinner with the Edwards back in September, how he unintentionally made Clare feel threatened by Julia days later, how he almost kissed Kate not long afterwards during _Romeo and Juliet_ rehearsals for her audition, how he accidentally stood her up, how he fought with her when she eventually found out about his past with Kate, how he kissed Kate twice in one week, how he said the words he said when Clare told him she could've been pregnant, and, last but not least, how he left her in tears three days ago. This was a very long list and Eli hated himself for making it so long.

He no longer desired to dwell on his thoughts here. Eli reached for his wallet and was about to pull out his money to pay for his beers, but the bartender held up his hand in protest.

"It's on the house. And no tip necessary."

This past week had been horrible ergo the generosity of this man meant more to him than it usually would have under normal circumstances.

"You, sir, are a good man," he said, giving him a slightly drunken grin before getting out of his seat.

"And kid," the bartender began before Eli stepped away from the bar. He looked the boy straight in the eye. "If she went after you that must mean that she meant everything she said and that she still loves you."

This man's kindness made Eli's heart smile. He was right. Clare went after him and said everything to get him to stay. If that didn't mean she cared about him, then what did? These words gave him the first bit of comfort. It was strange to feel so calm and relaxed at first, but eventually adjusted to the feeling . . . and he realized how much he enjoyed it.

"Thank you," he said appreciatively to the elderly man before leaving the bar.

()()

It was a miracle that Eli was able to get back into the correct room of the motel without getting injured or killed because he was under the extreme influence of five bottles of beer. He was relieved that he could lie in bed and deal with the upcoming hangover. What he would realize the next morning as he puked into the sink, however, was that the gluttony of alcohol didn't do anything to help his heartache . . . but the words from the bartender did.

* * *

"_I pulled away to face the pain _

_I close my eyes and drift away_

_Over the fear _

_That I will never find a way to heal my soul"_

_~"My Heart Is Broken" by Evanescence_

* * *

I'm not sure if this chapter was any good, but review if you wish. Better chapter will come next! Who wants an update either tomorrow night or Friday night (Saturday at the latest)? Review please!


	61. So Small

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Happy Thanksgiving to my wonderful readers of the USA. To any readers I have in other countries, hi and I hope you had a great Thursday! I love you all and I'm thankful for you guys, my parents, my twin sister Jess, and my BFF in both real life and in the FFN world, GrippoMustaine1996 (check her out). Another short chapter, but I don't think you guys will be disappointed. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Good thing too. If I did, I'd have to leave my room more often and I love my room (and not just because of the sexy Black Veil Brides and Escape the Fate posters).

* * *

Chapter Sixty-One

So Small

Clare shed tears the next day as well, but she eventually pulled herself together. Now that she accepted that Eli wasn't at Degrassi at this point in time, she was able to focus more on her schoolwork. Thankfully, K.C didn't make any attempts to communicate with her and that made her days easier.

Clare considered calling Eli countless times over the next three days. Whenever she dialed his number, however, she lost her nerve and she erased the numbers before putting her phone away. She wasn't ready to speak to him yet. Besides, he left Toronto to clear his head and it probably wasn't going to help that he was interrupting his thoughts, especially while _she_ was just now beginning to analyze everything in her own brain.

Whenever Clare wasn't doing classwork, homework, working at the Dot, or helping in Drama Club, she was thinking. She was doing as Adam told her and began reconsidering what she wanted out of her life.

Needless to say, it wasn't the easiest week. Her mind and heart were battling constantly until one of them surrendered or found reasoning. She had thought through the good, the bad, and the ugly of every option she had and every possibility she saw for her life. She found the highs and lows of what could happen if she followed all her plans. By the time Friday came around, she decided what she wanted to do with her life and she knew its path. There were five aspects she was absolutely sure about:

One, she wanted to graduate university . . .

Two, she wanted to achieve a temporary occupation teaching English and eventually get her writing career off the ground . . .

Three, she wanted to wait until she had a stable career as a teacher before settling down with anyone . . .

Four, she wanted a family of her own someday if she found the right man to marry . . .

Five, she knew she already found the right man and his name was Eli Goldsworthy.

If these past few days have taught her nothing else, she learned that she wanted Eli in her life. She couldn't live without him and she didn't want to. She desired to marry him, for him to be the father of her children, and to be bonded together forever like they always planned. Maybe they were different and maybe they would have a few problems in the future, but Clare believed that she and Eli loved and cared for each other enough to reach understandings and compromises. She loved Eli with all her heart and soul. She wanted to marry him and spend the rest of her life with him. Ever since she met him, she knew that there was something about him and that feeling has not change despite everything they'd been through. She had never met anyone like that before and she doubted she would ever find someone like him again.

Eli loved her and she loved him. It was so clear to her now that Eli was, indeed, the one she was destined to be with. However, Eli had no idea she felt this way. She didn't know how far away he was from her, but she needed to tell him how much she loved him. He deserved to hear it and he deserved to hear it as soon as possible.

When the final bell of the day rang that same Friday afternoon, she rushed out of her Geometry class and made a straightaway to her locker. She hastily opened it and shoved all her necessary books inside. She didn't even notice Adam coming her way until he spoke to her.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hi," Clare said hurriedly, taking her jacket out before pulling it onto her body. She wasn't mad at Adam for advising Eli to break up with her and telling him to go; he was trying to help as always, so she couldn't hold it against him. Plus she and Eli didn't do anything to help their relationship and someone needed to make them take some sort of step to get them to think about their priorities.

"Look, I know this has been a rough week for you so how about the two of us go by the Dot? It's on me," Adam offered.

"I can't," she said.

"Why not? I always say that nothing soothes the soul like a good cup of coffee."

"No, I really can't. I have to get going," Clare explained, shutting her locker then speeding out of the hall.

Dumbfounded as to why Clare was moving so quickly, Adam went after her. She was walking so fast that he almost had to run to catch up to her. Only when she exited the school and arrived at the bike racks did she stop.

"What's going on? You seem like you're in a rush."

"I am," she said, pulling her bike onto the pavement.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

Clare jumped on her bike and began pedaling as she yelled over her shoulder:

"I'm going to get Eli back!"

()()

Adam hopped into his car and intended on following Clare, but she was already out of his sight. By the time he crossed the parking lot, found his car, started the engine, and pulled off campus, she was gone.

Hoping she would go by her house before biking all the way up to Kingston, he drove straight to her home. He breathed in relief when he saw Clare's bike lying on the front lawn. However, the front door was wide open.

Appeased that he still had time to talk to her about his, Adam exited his vehicle and stormed into her house.

"Clare!"

"Upstairs!" she replied.

Adam sprinted up the staircase and found Clare's bedroom. He saw her pulling a knapsack out of her closet. Once she got her bag, she faced her friend.

"Adam, I know what you're going to say –."

"You're going to get Eli back?" he restated. "How?"

"I'm going to ride my bike to wherever he is and I'm going to tell him how much he means to me."

"Okay, now what do you mean by that?"

"I mean that I thought about what I want and realized that I really love him, I want to be with him, and eventually marry him one day."

Adam grinned. His plan was finally beginning to unravel. However, he was still concerned that Clare was considering _cycling_ all the way to Eli when she didn't even have the slightest idea where he was located.

"Clare, I'm glad you finally figured this out and that you want to be with Eli, but you can't ride your bike until you find him. You don't even know where he is!"

"I don't care. I'll go through all of Canada if I have to."

"Oh God, Clare," Adam groaned. She was definitely determined. Usually, Adam would've just told Clare where Eli was and let her go, but there were two factors preventing this. The first was that it was too far away. The other was that Eli had been through enough pain and heartache at this point. He didn't want Clare going all the way up there to tell Eli everything he had been hoping to hear just to take it all away again sometime in the future.

"Do you know where he is?" Clare asked Adam as she stuffed two t-shirts and a pair of jeans into her knapsack.

Adam took a breath.

"If I tell you, you have to swear to me that you are completely, absolutely, one hundred percent sure about being with Eli. You can't break his heart again if I tell you. I can't see either of you hurt like this again, so this is a do or die deal."

"Adam, I promise I'm not going to pull anything like this again. Please tell me where he is."

Seeing the sincerity in Clare's blue eyes, he answered the question.

"He's in Kingston. The night before he left, he told me that's where he'll go."

He hoped that if Clare knew how far away Eli was, she would change her mind, not bike all that way, and wait until Eli was ready to come home. Unfortunately, Clare was more obdurate than that.

"Thanks, Adam. Now I know where I need to go."

"Clare, are you crazy?" Adam exclaimed as she tossed her wallet into the bag. "You can't ride your bike all the way to Kingston!"

"Well it's either that, hitchhike, or take a million buses and risk getting stranded in the middle of nowhere."

"And you think biking is better? Do you know how far Kingston is from Toronto?"

"Do I look like I care?" she snapped, exiting her room with Adam tailing her.

"Around one hundred fifty miles!" he spat.

"My legs will be sore, but I'll suck it up," Clare stated, going down the stairs with the sack in hand.

Adam never knew that Clare was _this_ hardheaded. They went to the kitchen and Clare started pulling three bottles of water out of the refrigerator before putting them in her bag.

"It'll take you a week to bike there if you don't get lost," he informed her. "We have phones, you know."

"This isn't something I can say to him over the phone," she said, throwing a few apples into the sack. "I want to show him how much I care about him. It's my fault that he's so far away, so I'm going to get him back here if it's the last thing I do."

She pulled on her knapsack before walking towards the front door and then picking up a notepad and pen off the side table. She then quickly wrote a note to her parents.

_Eli's in Kingston. I've gone to find him and bring him back to Toronto. I'm sorry. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I'll be back soon. –Clare_

She put the note on the side table before bolting out the door, Adam right behind her. She locked the door and grabbed her bike. Clare was about to steer it off the lawn when her best guy friend stepped in front of her.

"Clare, I'm not letting you ride your bike for one hundred fifty miles."

"Adam, I'm going to –."

"It'll be easier if we drive," Adam interrupted.

"We?" she repeated in an astonished, not to mention relieved, tone.

"I miss Eli too," he began. "And by doing this, you won't be out there alone for days, maybe weeks. So, if going up there is the only way to get him back, we better get going."

Smiling, Clare dropped her bike on the grass before flinging her arms around Adam's neck.

"I love you, Adam," she said, hugging the person who was more like a brother to her than anything.

"Okay, say the love for your man. We don't have a moment to lose."

The duo then raced to Han Solo, buckled their seatbelts, and began to drive without even thinking about looking back.

* * *

"_When you figure out love is all that matters after all_

_It sure makes everything else_

_Seem so small"_

_~"So Small" by Carrie Underwood_

* * *

My Thanksgiving gift to you all!

I must give a shout out to JaimeWoaah. Your tweets made my night when I was recovering from a "Thanksgiving feast hangover." Oh, and Nikki, that idea never even entered my mind. Good guess though. BTW: I loved it when you guys said that you liked the way I wrote a drunken Eli. Fun fact: that was the first (maybe second, I'm not sure) time I ever wrote a drunken character in the history of my life, so I guess that was beginners luck or something :P. Update tomorrow? Reviews please!


	62. The Other Side

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

I love all your reviews and they made me smile! Thanks HowIsTheDRAMAQUEEN, degrassiluver15, ilovetaylorswift13, sushi.23, J.A.L.L, Babo, My world of Eli, Briiy, and eclarewinsthewar, for your reviews and comments! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi (I just pimp it).

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Two

The Other Side

Thanking God that Adam's car had decent gas mileage, Clare and Adam journeyed on the road to Kingston without making more than two stops. Under normal circumstances, they probably would've enjoyed the journey to an unfamiliar city, but this was the exact opposite. Then again, Eli probably would've been with them and created a more amiable atmosphere. But since it was just the duo in the car and they were on a mission to bring a friend home, the mood was more persistent and agonizing as opposed to exciting and fun. At this point, they had been driving for three hours and they had finally made it to Kingston.

"How are we going to find him?" Clare asked.

"Easy," Adam said. "We just have to find the building that has a hearse parked outside it."

"Do you know how many buildings there are in Kingston?" Clare admonished in frustration.

"A lot, but Eli probably wouldn't want to drive much further than where we are now, so he should be within a five mile radius."

They began skimming for any signs of a hearse. They drove on one road for half an hour and didn't see anything. They tried another one with the same result.

"Come on, Goldsworthy, where are you?" Adam whispered to himself, hoping to find some trace of Eli soon.

When they began traveling down their fourth route, Clare heard a ringtone go off in her knapsack. She dug out her phone and saw that her mother was calling.

"Oh God," she said, knowing that Helen was not going to be happy about what she was doing. "It's my mom."

"Uh-oh," Adam interjected. "She's gonna be mad."

"Oh yeah," she replied. She was so focused on getting Eli back that she didn't even bother considering how her parents were going to react to this. Taking a breath and preparing for her mother's scolds, Clare answered the phone. "Mom, I'm already in Kingston and I'm not leaving until I talk to Eli."

"Clare Diana Edwards, what were you thinking?" Helen shouted frantically. "You know better than to leave home like this!"

"I know, but it was necessary. Adam's with me and we're fine."

"Don't drag me into this," Adam hissed quietly from the opposite side of the car. He was probably going to have to deal with his own parents when he got back to Toronto and he didn't want to be in more trouble with more people than necessary.

"That doesn't matter!" Helen continued. "You can't just leave like you did!"

"I'm sorry, but this couldn't wait," Clare started to explain. "We're going to get Eli, bring him home, and I'll be home before midnight."

"There's no 'we' here!" Adam reminded. His head was now going to be on the chopping block with his parents _and_ Clare's parents.

"Clare, you can't drop everything and go after someone just because you miss them."

"There's more to it than that," Clare stated. "I've done a lot of thinking and now I know what I want. I love Eli. We have a lot to talk about and we have a few issues, but we'll talk and overcome them."

"The fact that you want to talk to Eli about your future is fine and it's none of my business, but you are in a city far away with no one but Adam! You know that is something I'm not going to tolerate!"

"Mom, I'm sorry. I promise that I'll be home soon. Adam and I will find Eli, I'll talk to him, and we'll all be home tonight."

She heard Helen groan in frustration

"You and I are going to have a long talk when you get home."

"Alright," Clare accepted. If it meant she could get Eli back tonight, she would sit through a million of her mother's lectures.

"Okay. _Be careful_," Mrs. Edwards emphasized.

"I will."

"We didn't think this through," Adam declared as Clare hung up her phone.

"It doesn't matter. It'll be worth it once we get Eli back home."

She knew that she worried her mother, but Eli was her main prerogative right now.

Clare and Adam were driving on their sixth road through Kingston ten minutes later. They were passing many fast food restaurants, houses, and gas stations when . . .

"There!" Clare exclaimed, pointing at a small motel. "I see Morty!"

Adam quickly bent the wheel to turn to the motel and parked in front of it. A sign near the entrance identified this place as _One Way Motel_. A few parking spots away from them sat Morty. There was now no denying that Eli was not far from them.

"Ready?" Adam asked, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning to Clare.

She sat there when she realized she had no idea what to say to him. She had been too busy being a navigator and didn't have time to form any kind of apology to Eli.

How could she possibly begin to tell him how sorry she was? Will he forgive her? Will he even talk to her? Would he even want to discuss their relationship? All these questions daunted her mind. This was, technically, their second breakup in less than six months. Sure, the first breakup was because of Kate and it was a huge misunderstanding, but it was still a breakup. Now she was worried that he would never take her back. She needed to configure what she could possibly say to him after not seeing him in a week.

"I need to think for a minute," she told Adam.

"Okay," he nodded. "I'm going to go find his room."

"Alright, I'll be there in a few."

Adam climbed out of his car and walked into the motel. The lobby was small. It had the check-in desk on one wall, a small breakfast bar on the other, two hallways next to each, and a small area dedicated to a few old arm chairs that rested on a burgundy rug.

Not taking much time to absorb the scenery, Adam walked towards the front desk. A man was sitting behind it, headphones resting over his ears while he read a sports magazine with his feet resting on the edge of the desk. He had a few tuffs of dark brown hair on his head that matched his handlebar mustache.

Hoping that Eli was in one of these rooms in this place, Adam attempted to grab the attention of the man.

"Excuse me," he said in a slightly raised voice. The night manager continued to read his magazine and listen to his music.

"Excuse me," Adam repeated, increasing the volume of his voice.

He still didn't take notice of Adam's presence. This was ridiculous; Adam didn't have time to deal with this. Impatience taking over him, he slammed his hand down on the desk.

"Hey!"

The man suddenly averted his eyes to Adam before throwing down the magazine, pulling off his headphones, and standing on his feet.

"Welcome to the _One Way Motel_. How may I help you?" he asked, obviously trying to act professional to make up for not noticing the visitor earlier.

"I'm looking for one someone who's staying here," Adam said hurriedly. "Eli Goldsworthy?"

The night manager started looking through the log of people who were staying there.

"He's this tall," Adam said, holding his hand to the side of his head, "wears a lot of black, been here for a week, looks like he's just gotten his heart broken by the woman of his dreams. He's here, right?"

"Yep . . . but I can't let you go back there."

"It's important," Adam nearly shouted.

"I'm sorry sir," he said in mock sympathy. "It's against policy."

Adam could care less about policy right now. He and Clare just drove for nearly four hours and they refused to leave without at least seeing Eli. Annoyance getting the better of him, he began to rant.

"Listen, my friend and I drove here all the way to Toronto to see this guy and we're going to see him! He left Toronto for the sake of his sanity and his girlfriend's wellbeing! He loves her and she needs to see him! They were in love and I know they still are even though she did end their relationship! You see –!"

"What if I call his room for you?" the man interrupted, evidently not wishing to hear the rest of the story.

"That works," Adam allowed, getting ahold of himself.

The man picked up the phone; he needed this kid out of his hair so he looked up the room's number and dialed it as quick as he could.

"Tell him it's Adam."

"Okay," he said, as he put the phone to his ear. "Yes, sorry to disturb you sir . . . there's someone here to see you . . . someone named Adam . . . okay, I will . . . goodnight."

The night manager hung up the phone and nodded his head at Adam.

"Room Thirteen."

"Thank you. And my friend is in that car," he said, pointing at Han Solo outside. "She's looking for him too. She's the girl he's in love with and she thinks this is the only way to make things right. They've always had a thing for being romantic with each other. Then again they –."

"Okay," the man said holding up his hand. "I'll tell her."

"Right, thank you _so_ much!" Adam said before racing towards the rooms. He knew he shouldn't have been venting to the night manager like that, but he needed to let out some stuff to somebody.

He rushed down the hall until he found Room Thirteen. Glad that he was going to see someone who was like his brother to him again, he hammered on the door. Seconds later, it opened and saw Eli. He had a few dark circles under his eyes and he was thinner, but other than that he looked the same.

"Hey, man," Adam greeted, a small grin coming to his face out of relief that he was seeing his best friend again.

"Hey," Eli replied before letting Adam in and closing the door behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"Not important," he refused to answer. "How are you doing?"

"Terrible," he admitted before venturing back over to one of the beds that resided in the room. He sat down while Adam observed the room.

The walls were beige with a few old paintings on the wall. A small bathroom was next to the entrance. There were also two queen size beds in the room with a dark green bedspread. Eli was sitting on the bed closest to the big window, which was on the wall opposite from the entrance. The only two tables in the room were the one that held the television while the other was a bedside table that rested between the two beds. There were only three items on that small table: a lamp, a phone, and a picture.

The picture caught Adam's attention more than anything. He saw that it was a photograph of Clare that Eli usually kept in his locker.

"You miss her, don't you?" he stated, sitting next to Eli on the bed.

"Like crazy," Eli nodded. "I want to see her so bad, but . . . I don't know."

"So you're not coming back any time soon?"

"Don't know," Eli shrugged. "I'm beginning to think leaving was a bad idea."

"You had to. You needed to think and you couldn't do that if Clare was around you every day."

"Adam, I've thought about a lot of things over the past week and all I've realized is that I love her more than I thought. I want to be with her . . . whether or not she feels the same way is up to her."

Adam felt Eli's pain. He clearly missed Clare and longed to be with her despite everything that happened recently. Adam turned to the door and hoped for Clare to knock so she could finally put Eli's jumbled mind and broken heart to rest. When there wasn't any sign of Clare being outside, he decided to comfort his friend.

"She misses you too, you know."

"How mad is she?"

"She's not mad; she just . . . she misses you and she feels everything that comes with that."

Eli shook his head as he looked at the ground, not believing Adam.

"I bet she hates me," he concluded.

"She doesn't."

"How do you know?"

"She told me that she loves you."

Hearing these words, Eli turned his head to Adam, who saw the slight shimmer of solace in his eyes.

"When?" he asked.

"Today. She hates that you left, she hates that you two aren't together, and she hates that she doesn't know where you are or how you're doing, but she's still in love with you."

Ever since he got drunk nights ago, he always remembered the bartender's words:

"_If she went after you that must mean that she meant everything she said and that she still loves you."_

He hoped that he was right and that Clare did still love him and care about him. He did doubt it at times, but as Adam said these words to him right here and now, he felt the small piece of reassurance that he had needed to hear for a long time.

"And I'm still in love with her," he confessed.

"I know you are," Adam said.

Then Eli came to the realization that Clare meant what she said when she told him that she would always love him. He couldn't believe he did not believe those words for all his time up here. He then began loathing himself for leaving her behind in tears a week ago after she pleaded for him to stay in Toronto.

"I had a choice," Eli nearly yelled. "Either break up with her or get over what was happening and mend what we had left. I took the easy way out and everything is a mess. If I just took a step back and got over everything, we could still be together right now."

"Clare understands. She knew that you wouldn't be the same after she gave you back the promise ring so she was prepared for a breakup. She just didn't expect you to leave."

Eli shook his head, feeling absolutely disgusted with himself.

"I am such a _jerk_!" he growled. "Why did I do that to her? Why did I let you talk me into that?"

"Eli, you had to do it," Adam justified. "You both needed your time alone and now you two got it. The only thing left to do now is see if you two should get back together, get married, or just be friends."

There was a knock on the door.

_Perfect_ _timing_, Adam thought.

"I'll get it," he obliged, standing up and crossing the room. "I think that you two need to have a heart-to-heart. I think that's why she decided to come up here in the first place."

"I doubt that after – wait. Clare's here?"

"Yeah," Adam said as he opened the door.

Sure enough, Clare was standing there. She felt a bit weird seeing Eli, but it felt like a huge relief at the same time. She stood there and walked in the room, but Adam still held the door open. Eli stood up, amazed that Clare was even there, but he too felt awkward seeing her. They looked at each other for a second then looked at the ground.

"Well, I'm going to go. I'll be in the lobby . . . you guys . . . yeah," Adam told them.

He left the room and closed the door behind him. Eli and Clare were both alone for the first time since her breakdown and since he left. They both stood there feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

* * *

"_I'm not giving in_

_I want you back _

_Holding together by the shards of our past_

_Stole my heart away_

_I can't let you go"_

_~"The Other Side" by Evanescence_

* * *

Hehehe! Cliffhanger! Ready for the next chapter? It should be up tomorrow or the day after if I get enough reviews. SO REVIEW!


	63. It's Not Over

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

I love all the reviews you guys gave me last chapter! Seriously, saying you guys are the coolest reviewers EVER would be an insult to you! THANKS EVERYONE! Nikki, thank you and I won't forget the big Kate thing (most of it is written and it's been in my head since the story began). Shutting up now. Now, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen (are there any gentlemen here? I'm curious), the chapter you've been waiting for! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi! WORD!

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Three

It's Not Over

"Hi, Eli," Clare said, attempting to break the silence.

"Hi," he replied.

"Have you . . . been doing okay?" she asked although she had a firm idea of what the answer was going to be.

Eli shrugged and looked at her. They were both looking at each other now, but it was a bit uncomfortable for both of them. However, they were seeing the person they loved and that gave them some unexplainable comfort.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asked.

She had an idea of what she was going to say, but seeing him there gave her butterflies. After standing there for a few minutes in the dead silence, she looked at him and cleared her throat.

"We need to do what we should've done before I gave you back the promise ring. We have to talk about us," Clare said.

Eli had a medley of feelings about this. He was pleased that Clare was now willing to sort out everything between them, but at the same time he hoped that she wasn't just saying this so he could come back to Toronto; he wanted to be sure her intentions were authentic.

"Clare, if you're just telling me what I want to hear when you really don't want to talk about us, then don't waste your breath."

Clare expected him to be hesitant and put up his walls. She broke his heart and they talked sparingly over the last two weeks, so she wasn't surprised that he was taking caution. But she wasn't going to hurt him anymore if she could avoid it.

"I figured that it was time that we had a talk about everything," she told him with complete honesty. "Do you want to talk or do you need more time alone?"

Eli shook his head.

"I've been alone long enough. I've done all the thinking I can do."

They faced each other, meeting eyes for the first time in seven long, painful days. They stood in a tense, silent atmosphere, waiting for one of them to make the first move. When Clare saw that Eli wasn't going to speak, she chose to take the plunge.

"To start off, there's one thing I need to get out there in the open and I really, really, _really_ want you to believe me when I say it."

"What's that?"

"Eli . . . I still love you," she confessed.

Eli's heart took a surprising skip. It was one thing when _Adam _told him that Clare still loved him, but hearing the words coming from Clare's own mouth made the truth seem a million times more alive.

"And I love you," he responded.

Clare's lips twitched as one of her fears retreated. He still loved her. Did that mean that she still had a chance of being with him again? Was he willing to be with her? Was he still wishing to marry her as she wished to marry him? She wasn't going to know until she asked him. Taking another leap of faith, she found her voice and spoke.

"Do you . . . want us to get us back together?"

For these words, Eli didn't have an immediate answer. Yes, he wanted to be with Clare, but if and only if it meant they were going to be able to recover from this mishap of theirs and they weren't going to crash and burn again. He sat down on the edge of his bed and began studying the fibers of the sandy carpet.

"I do . . . but . . . last week we barely looked at each other and . . . it drove me to my breaking point and it caused me leave. Seriously, you don't know how much that killed me."

The words started to formulate in her head and she was soon spitting the out words that she hoped he would see her points.

"I understand that it hurt you after I backed out of our promise to get married but it hurt me just as much. And I had to go through the complications of getting enough courage to do it and I had to deal with all the confusion that led me to make that decision. Then you left without even considering the idea that we could fix things and everything I'd been feeling that past week intensified. I was distraught, I was heartbroken, I was absolutely furious at you –."

"And you have more than every right to be. Leaving like I did was wrong. I knew it hurt you and I hate myself for doing that."

Clare thought she cried all her tears over the past couple of my weeks, but more formed in her eyes. She looked into Eli's eyes from across the room and saw the tears guarding his green orbs.

"– but above all, I was furious at myself for breaking your heart and for going crazy before you left. I didn't know it would make you want to leave even more and I thought about what you said and you were right," she explained as felt the tears begin to roll out of her eyes. "I was willingly to do anything and become anyone to get you to stay. And I know that I've been a different person and –."

"No," Eli interrupted. "You've always been the Clare I've always known. I would've acted the same way if you left."

Clare inhaled a gulp of air before sitting down on the bed across from Eli's. She was unsure if the tears floating her eyes right now were tears of joy, sadness, reassurance, mourning, confusion, or some other emotion entirely.

"I am sorry about saying all those things I said before I left," Eli then said. "While I was here, I realized that you are changing because that's part of life and not because I made you."

"I'm sorry I acted that way."

"Listen," Eli said, "you don't have to apologize for that. You didn't do anything wrong."

Clare took a shuddering breath and shook her head.

"I do owe you some kind of apology. I knew it was going to hurt you when I gave you back the ring, but I had no idea it meant that much to you, so you deserve one."

She took a quivering breath before preparing to say what she should've said the day he left.

"I gave up on us too easily. I wasn't honest with you even though we promised we always would be. Instead of talking, I bit my tongue and it all came out too late. If I talked to you about it first, it could've prevented more problems and we wouldn't have broken up. I'm sorry that I took the easy way out and backed out of our promise. We should've talked about it instead of giving up. I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?" she added nervously as well as hopefully.

"Do you forgive _me_?" he asked of her. "I'm sorry I left and didn't stay after you asked me to. I'm sorry for rushing and for making you feel suffocated weeks back. I never wanted to do that to you."

"I know," Clare said. "And I forgive you."

"I forgive you too. I promise I won't leave like that again."

"I understand why you did. We needed time to think. Did you . . . did you figure some things out?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "And I decided that I love you and I want to be with you forever, but if saying things like that make you uncomfortable or pressured, I won't say them anymore."

"Eli, it's not because you kept saying you wanted to be with me forever that me feel weird about us. I said I wanted to be with you forever as well. The problem I had was that you became really clingy to me."

"Was that what forced you to back out?" he asked, knowing they were just now beginning to scratch the surface of many of their problems.

Clare sat there and thought of her answer before answering his question.

"I didn't have the time to sort things out because you wanted to be with me all the time. Maybe it was a factor, but it wasn't a huge reason. Get it?"

Eli nodded. They were now going to have this very important conversation and they were both thankful that their tears had dissolved by this point. They weren't sure if more was to come or not, but for now they were gone and it was the time to stand firm and solve the issues between them.

"Let me see if I have this straight," Eli began. "You backed out because you thought we were rushing it, I became too consumed by you, and because we were too different?"

"Basically," Clare answered. "But you weren't the only one who was taken over by someone. It wasn't fair for me to accuse you being one way and I was the same way a week later."

Eli then began to introduce the theory, the _fact_, he discovered during his many sleepless nights here.

"When we ranted about doing anything and changing ourselves, we were both losing the other. I did it when you said we couldn't get married and you did the same thing before I left."

"Are you saying that we love each other that much that we were so afraid that we would do anything to keep the other around?" Clare said, wondering if she comprehended what he was trying to explain.

"Yeah," Eli nodded. "But we shouldn't live like that."

"We shouldn't," she agreed.

"So, how about we don't pull those cards anymore? Instead if the other wants to walk away, we accept that and let them go?"

"Sounds fair to me," Clare acceded, relieved that they finally reached an accord on one situation.

"Alright," Eli said, preparing to ease into the next topic of this conversation. "Now . . . do you really think we were rushing?"

Clare shrugged.

"I meant that we went from us having sex, to making this promise, and then you went making all these plans for us to move some of my things into your room. It all seemed to go down in less than a month and I was still trying to deal with the fact I could've been an expectant mother and that my parents weren't happy with me because of me losing my virginity and everything. I had a lot on my plate and everything seemed to be going faster than it really was."

"Oh," Eli said with comprehension. "Well, like I said, I'm not going to force anything you're not ready to do. We don't have to go on getaways together and you don't have to say the night or anything like that. As long as you're happy, I'll be alright."

"Promise?" she ensured. She was still unsure if she wanted to spend nights at Eli's house, but for all she knew that could change. For now, however, her mind wasn't made up and her answer was going to remain no until she felt like her parents were a bit more comfortable with her dating Eli and when she was absolutely positive that everything was going to get better between them.

"I promise," he answered.

She gave him a small grin appreciation, which he returned for a second before his face turned austere again as they advanced deeper into their parley.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead," she permitted.

"You knew we weren't alike in certain ways, but we lasted this long. Why did you all of the sudden start thinking we were too different?"

They were here to talk about everything, so she had to come clean about an encounter she had with someone a couple of weeks ago.

"Kate talked to me and –."

"That explains everything," Eli remarked bitterly. He couldn't believe that Kate, once again, had gotten to Clare. She did it before the day after Clare saw them kiss, but this was beyond malevolent. She was now messing with his and Clare's plans for their life . . . a life that didn't involve the likes of Kate Parker.

"I know I shouldn't have let her get to me, but there are a few things you can't forget once they're brought up. And it just got me thinking and now I want us to actually think about some things."

"Do you really think we're so different that we can't get married?" he asked. "I know we don't have the same religious views and our interests differ in ways, but that's it. And you know that I don't have an issue with your faith and we both have similar tastes in some books, movies, music, and stuff like that. But, other than those things, what makes us so different?"

Clare then realized that she didn't explain this point to anyone. There was another difference between her and Eli and it was the issue that worried her the most . . . but it was also the one that could be fixed the easiest and the quickest.

"We might not have the same plans. I might want to go do something somewhere while you want to do something totally different in some other place. If we have different plans for life, there's no way we could work. And, for a while, I didn't know my plans. After you left, I started thinking and now I know. I'm just worried that our plans are going to be completely different and we won't reach a fair compromise and neither of us would be happy."

Eli stood up and interpreted everything Clare had just said. She followed suit and watched him as he thought. Once five minutes of silence passed, he looked at Clare again.

"I guess that makes sense," he accepted.

"But that doesn't mean that we can't at least try to discuss our problems and figure everything out. We can combine our plans if they aren't the same. You know, compromise and stuff. And I'm not saying we have to talk about everything and sort out all our problems right now in one night; just sometime before we get married."

Eli hung onto every word that was spilling from Clare's lips, but his stomach did a summersault when he heard her say "sometime before we get married". He stared right at Clare, thinking a second he thought that he was just hallucinating because his mind had become so overwhelmed during a course of twenty minutes.

"Are you saying that you still want us to get married?" he asked, hoping for the best while expecting the worse.

Clare rolled her lips.

"Someday. Do you?" she asked, hoping that her answer was the same as his.

She didn't need to ask him again. Eli walked over to her and cupped his hands around her face so his fingertips touched the nape of her neck. He wiped away the trails of tears that still remained on her cheeks with his thumbs before he put his lips to hers.

His heart began to race; he was now on top of the world as he kissed her for the first time in forever. Clare became lost in the most phenomenal feeling and kissed him back while she gently put her hands on his waist.

They didn't know how long they stood there kissing, but it wasn't any less than three minutes, only separating for a second to readjust their lips and take in some air. They released their lips and rested their foreheads against the others. They took a few breaths to recover from the kiss. For the first time in weeks, they truly smiled.

"Does that mean yes?" Clare asked after she was able to breathe again.

"Yes," Eli nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too," Clare exclaimed before she kissed him again.

They suddenly felt like the world was lifted off their shoulders as they confirmed to each other that they were still in love. After another minute of kissing again, Eli removed his lips from hers and looked her in the eyes. Although they were full of tears, they were tears of joy, just like his.

"So can we talk about things from now on and try to sort them out before calling it quits?" he asked.

"Absolutely," she agreed.

He was overjoyed when he heard this, but he knew that he had to be sure this was for real and not because she just wanted him to come home.

"Clare, are you sure this is what you want? You were confused about everything a few weeks ago."

"I didn't know what I wanted, but now I do. And I want to marry you. I can't picture myself with anyone else and I don't want to be with anyone else. I love you more than any other person on this Earth. If we fight, we can work it out; if we have problems we can go to counseling or something. I'm willing to do all I can so we can be together forever."

"I feel exactly the same way about you," he admitted.

Eli grinned at her as a swarm of bliss filled his heart and soul. He couldn't even describe how amazing he felt right now. Clare took his hands and held them as they suspended between their bodies.

"But . . ." Clare pursued apprehensively, "I still think that we need more time to actually get married. We should give it time so we could talk about certain things and arrange a few things before we start making any plans for a wedding and things like that."

"Okay," he accepted instantly.

"How long are you willing to wait?"

"Will you call me a mush ball if I said forever?"

"Definitely," Clare chuckled.

"Well, then call me a mush ball, because I would actually wait that long."

"Okay, Mister Mush Ball, what if I told you I wanted to wait at least a year after I graduate college so I can get my career going and so we can actually plan the wedding?"

"I'm fine with that," Eli agreed.

"You're willing to wait six years?"

"I'll six hundred years if you asked me to. We can even wait until we're both out of college to become engaged."

"That's a good idea," Clare smiled before continuing. "And can we talk about things over the next six years to be sure everything works out? Things like kids, how we can deal with each other's religions, our career paths, where we'll live, everything so we know that this is what we really want and so we know that we can live with each other despite our differences and not end up getting divorced?"

"Definitely," he agreed.

"And if I told you that I wanted to wait until we were married to have sex again?"

"The wait will be worth it."

"You're sure?"

"A thousand percent," he promised.

"It's not because I don't want us to. I just want my parents to support this and I think they'd be more in favor of it if we wait until we get married."

"If it means your parents are eventually going to be alright with us and as long as you're happy with it, it's fine with me."

"That's six years of no sex," she cited.

"Clare, what's six years compared to the rest of our lives?"

"Are you saying all this just so we can make another commitment again or do you really mean it?" she made sure.

"I mean every word. We can talk about our future, our differences, everything over the next six years. And if there's ever a moment that you think we're going fall apart or anything, we can take a step back and talk until everything is settled."

"Then let's do it!" Clare exclaimed. "Let's get married someday and spend the rest of our lives together starting now!"

They pulled each other into their arms again and smiled as tears of jubilation came out of their eyes. No words could begin to pinpoint how overjoyed they were right now.

He let go of Clare and pulled something out of the side table drawer. She saw him take out the small velvet box which contained the promise ring. He took out the ring and looked Clare straight in the eye.

"To make this official once again . . ."

He took Clare's left hand in his right and took a deep breath before becoming lost in her loving blue eyes.

"Clare Edwards, I love you with all my heart. You are funny, beautiful, and amazing in every way imaginable and I don't want to be with anyone else for as long as I live. We may have our differences, but we can overcome them along with every obstacle imaginable as long as we hang in there together. I swear to be the best boyfriend I can to you, then eventually the best fiancé, and, one day, the best husband. I'll always be faithful, honest, and I'll be there when you need me. No matter what happens, I'll be by your side."

He saw Clare's eyes glisten and he tried not to cry in happiness of their reconciliation. He slid the ring onto Clare's ring finger then took her hand in both of his.

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she nodded with a huge smile.

She tried not to scream in delight as Eli wrapped his arms around her. She flung her arms around his neck and put her lips on his. It was probably one of the most passionate kisses they had ever shared. Clare bent her knees so that both of her feet were off the ground. Eli spun around as his lips still remained on Clare's.

They continued to be lost in the moment, but Eli eventually lost his footing. He tripped over his feet and he landed on his back on the bed, Clare going down with him. They separated their lips and chuckled about the incident.

They sat back up, Clare sitting on Eli's lap with their arms still wrapped around each other. It wasn't long until their lips found each other again.

"Baby?" Clare whispered to Eli once their kiss was complete.

"Yeah?" he replied, grinning at the name she referred to him for the first time in a while.

"Can you come home now?" she asked.

Eli tenderly moved a strand of auburn hair behind Clare's ear and kissed her again. He wanted to cherish the luxurious taste and feeling of her lips; he hadn't experienced it in what felt like eternity.

"Of course," he replied as he unglued his lips from hers for a second. "I still can't believe you came all the way out here."

"Well, I wasn't going to wait until you got back to tell you how much I love you and I didn't want to tell you over the phone."

Eli smiled at her. He could see in her eyes that Clare was speaking the complete truth. He saw her happiness, her verity, her love.

"And I owe Adam big time," she grinned. "I was about to come all the way here on my bike but he gave me a ride and he's probably going to be grounded for life because he didn't tell his parents he was driving me here."

"Plus if he didn't suggest that we broke up, we probably never would've talked about us."

"We owe him big, _big_ time," she emphasized.

"We do," Eli agreed.

They attached their lips again only separate a few seconds later.

"I missed you," she breathed as she rested her forehead against his.

"I missed you too."

* * *

"_Let's start over_

_Try to do it right this time around"_

_~"It's Not Over" by Daughtry_

* * *

I told you it wasn't going to be a "Drop the World" repeat! But I was always planning on breaking EClare up just to put them back together stronger than ever and you'll see how strong in the next chapter. Do you guys love me again? lol. This chapter is for MadameDegrassi4587. I hope this chapter makes you feel better; I know you love EClare being together. If you guys want to see a picture of Clare's promise ring, it's on my Twitter, but I'll eventually put it on a Vlog as well if you want to wait.

If you want to stop reading, this is a good stopping point. No, I'm not saying bad stuff is coming, but I'm saying this story still isn't close to being done and if you guys want to stop here, you may. However, there's _**A LOT**_ of EClare coming up so it's up to you if you want to stop.

I've been getting behind on my other multi-chap ("You'll Be In My Heart"), so I won't update for maybe a week or two so I can work on that (plus I'm going to take the ACT in December and I need to prepare for that). Reviews please! Let me if you'll keep reading!


	64. Carolyn

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Obviously I decided not to wait a week to update! Okay guys, we're OVER 600 REVIEWS NOW! And I'm so glad you guys are sticking around! Seriously, my weekend and today sucked epically and seeing your reviews made me smile. And, Degrassistar and loveing it keep them comeing, I read your reviews and I was really touched! Thank you! And thank you to KitKat0219 (it's _so_ great to read your words again, my friend). And thanks to ilovetaylorswift13 for your review and you private messages :). I'm stuck on my other fic, so I'm coming back to this one! I plan to update once (maybe twice) a week! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: The day I own Degrassi is the day I'm a monkey's uncle . . . I'm pretty sure I'm not related to any primates, so . . .

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Chapter Sixty-Four

Carolyn

The word that Eli Goldsworthy and Clare Edwards were planning to get married for a second time spread like wildfire throughout the halls of Degrassi. Everyone minded their business for the most part, but a few people offered their congratulations. The Jesus Club wished Clare and Eli well when she went for a meeting and they all told her that they hoped that she and Eli would have a wonderful life together. Members of the Drama Club even gave them a round of applause when they entered the auditorium the Tuesday after they returned from Kingston. The meetings became enjoyable again and _Feudal Romance_ continued to progress to its full potential.

Their parents found out of course. Eli's parents were supportive and said that they had the right to be making these choices since they were almost adults. Clare's parents, however, still weren't completely onboard with the whole idea. They were calmer about it this time around since it was not a bombshell and they did feel at ease when Clare told them that they wouldn't get married until she was out of university.

Kate Parker also heard the news and she shot Clare looks of Death every time she passed her in the hallway. Clare ignored them and was going to do all she could to never come in contact with her again. She was glad that she and Eli realized their problems and managed to finds ways to fix them, however she wished that she and Eli found everything out for themselves without Kate getting involved.

Adam was more than happy about the reconciliation of his best friends. Yes, he and Clare were grounded for a week because they fled Toronto without telling their parents, but it was worth it as far as they were concerned. All that mattered now was that their little group was whole again and nothing but joy surrounded them.

In addition to the news of Eli and Clare making their commitment, Eli finally got a job as a waiter at the Dot. The couple now worked the same shift and they thoroughly enjoyed it. On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday afternoons they went to Drama Club, spent time with Adam, relaxed together, or had time to themselves before Eli drove them to work so they would start their five thirty shift and then leave hours later after they helped close for the night.

Spring break soon came to the students of Degrassi. Eli, Adam, and Clare spent a fair amount of time together whenever Eli and Clare weren't working at the Dot and when Adam wasn't doing extra hours at his job at a video store. Thankfully, Adam and Clare were off punishment by this point.

April 4th, also known as Clare's seventeenth birthday, also came and went during that week. They didn't have a huge celebration since that wasn't really something she would partake in; therefore, she and her parents, Adam, Eli, and Alli had a small dinner at her house instead.

Since it was the first time Eli had been in the same room with the Edwards since they found out he and Clare had sex and were getting married, it was exceptionally awkward. Mr. Edwards was especially silent towards Eli, but Mrs. Edwards put her feelings about him aside so no trouble would be caused on her daughter's birthday.

Despite the tension with her parents, Clare had an enjoyable day. Eli also had a good time. He loved spending that day with his girlfriend, her parents, and her two best friends. He was also pleased when she said she loved necklace he gave her. It was silver with a round pendant that had the word _Forever_ engraved into it.

In company with her birthday, Clare also got her driver's license over the break. Needless to say, she was thrilled about it.

"Congratulations!" Eli said, pulling her into a hug when she told him at work an hour after she got it.

"Now I just need to get a car so I can actually use it," she said as they completed the embrace.

"Well, how would you feel about driving Morty from time-to-time so you could get some practice in?" he offered.

"Really? You would let me drive your hearse?" she certified.

"Duh. Just don't crash him," he warned as they walked behind the counter to prepare some drinks for the customers.

"Why would I do that? I love Morty."

"And Morty loves you," he added.

"And what about Morty's owner?" she asked flirtatiously. "Does he love me?"

Eli looped his arms around her waist as she started putting ingredients into a blender.

"More than life," he whispered in her ear before kissing her neck.

She smiled as his lips played against her skin.

"You might want to let go," she said adoringly yet crestfallenly.

"Why?" he asked against her skin.

"I don't want you to get fired when you just hired."

He smirked before pecking her cheek and releasing her.

"And we wouldn't want that, would we?" he said before walking away to take care of some customers that were now entering the Dot.

That week was full of delight and smiles. However, on Friday there was a moment when everything could've easily fallen apart once again . . .

Eli sat inside Morty by the park as silence rang through. He took a few deep breaths and tried to think while drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. In the hand that wasn't preoccupied tapping the wheel was an envelope. It was forwarded to him from the return address of the University of Ottawa. He tried to think, but all he saw was Clare's face and the mixture of emotions within her eyes. He had never felt so torn. He was worried about Clare, their plans to eventually get married, and if they were able to get through this.

Eli's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone tapping on the passenger side window. He grinned a little when he saw Clare outside and nodded to allow her to come into the hearse.

"Hi," she said, sliding in next to him.

"Hey."

"I've been looking everywhere for you; I tried calling you five times."

"Sorry, I left my phone at home."

"It's fine. I just wanted to see if you . . . are you okay?" she asked, noticing something worrisome in Eli's eyes.

He sighed and handed Clare the envelope.

"This came today."

Clare looked at the address and felt excitement along with nerves for Eli.

"Oh my gosh," she gasped. "Did they accept you?"

"Read it," he said through a thick voice.

Clare licked her lips and pulled the letter out of the already opened the envelope. She unfolded the letter and read it aloud.

_"To Mr. Elijah N. Goldsworthy:_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to the University of Ottawa_."

Clare smiled and flung her arms around Eli. She hugged with all the strength she could muster.

"Eli, this is amazing! I'm so proud of you!" she exclaimed.

"Thanks," he said as she released him. "But, Clare –."

"And you were worried they weren't going to let you in," she beamed. "This is _fantastic_!"

"Clare," he tried to say.

"What did your parents say? Have you told Adam? Oh my gosh, we have to celebrate," she began to ramble.

"Clare, I'm not gonna go," Eli was able to say at last.

Clare fell silent, obviously taken aback by what he said.

"What? Eli you have to go! You've been wanting to go Ottawa for years!"

"Toronto University has just as much to offer."

"But you haven't wanted to go to Toronto University since you were thirteen," Clare reminded.

"I can change my mind," Eli retorted. "TU is a good college just like U of O except it's not five hours away."

Clare sighed and shook her head.

"Eli, why do you _honestly_ not want to go?"

"I just told you. There's no point in going to a college so far away if it offers the same thing. It makes more sense if I stay here."

"And since when do you do things that make more sense?" she argued. "Eli, you got into the college that you've been working really hard to get into for years! You should be happy about this!"

"I appreciate the support, Clare, but I'm not going!"

"Why?"

"I told you!"

"You and I both know that that reason is crap! Now tell me the truth!"

"You wouldn't understand!"

"Try me!"

"I'm scared, okay?" he admitted.

Clare was silent. The idea that Eli was scared about going to college far away was next to unbelievable. The atmosphere now turned from angry and heated to cold and questionable.

"Scared about what?"

"Us," he answered bluntly.

"Why?"

"Things won't be the same after I leave."

"They won't be exactly the same, but we'll still keep in touch."

"Clare, you know what they say about long-distance relationships; they _never_ work."

"Long-distance relationship?" she restated. "It's only five hours away."

"Only five hours?" he repeated in disbelief. "That's a really long drive."

"We can make it work. We always work these things out."

"Do you know how many miles Ottawa is from Toronto?"

"Who cares? Distance isn't important."

"Yes, it is. We won't see each other, we'll never know if we're busy or not so phone calls could be scarce, and it's not like we're only a few blocks away whenever something happens."

"It will be tedious and we won't see each other as often as we do now, but it's not impossible."

"Every couple who tries long-distance believes that they're going to be blessed and that they'll make it work; some of them do, but a lot of them don't."

"I think we can. I really, really, _really_ think we can."

"What if we grow apart? Or what if one of us gets so paranoid about the other seeing someone else that it destroys us?"

"Well, I swear that I will never see anyone else, so you don't have to worry about that. And I trust you so I won't be worried."

"What about us growing apart?"

"We won't. Not if we stay in touch."

"This is college, though," he reminded. "I'm going to be doing work, studying, finding a part-time job, and other things. I won't be able to call as often as you think."

"Listen, Darcy and I have had long-distance relationship for years," Clare said as she put her hand over his. "It's hard and I don't hear from her as often as I'd like, but we're still close. And every time she comes to visit makes it more worthwhile."

"But you guys are sisters; that's different."

"You're going to be my husband one day, so it's kind of similar. Odds are I'm probably going to hear from you once in a while and we'll see each other every now and then. And it's not really a long-distance thing. Sure, it's not a walk down the road but Ottawa isn't that far. We won't drive to see each other every day, but we'll see each other on some weekends and breaks and things like that.

"And let's look at the positive side of us being apart for a while," Clare continued. "We won't see each other all the time, so the time we do spend together will be all the more special. Since we're both going to be busy with school and jobs, we'll be giving each other space, then whenever we do talk to each other it will because we want to and not because we have to just to make the relationship work. We just have to let it happen instead of forcing it."

This wasn't prompting Eli change his mind. Losing Clare was an extreme possibility and that wasn't a risk he was willing to take.

"What if you find someone else?" he asked.

"I won't."

"What if I end up staying for more than four years?"

"I'll wait for you."

"What if you get so tired of hardly seeing me, we don't talk, we get pushed over the edge with worry, and we break up?"

"Babe, don't think that way."

"I can't help it. The idea of us being so far from each other when we finally gotten everything straightened out doesn't sit well with me. I'm going to think negatively about this."

"Eli, you're the nicest, sweetest, and greatest guy I know. You set my standards for any future boyfriends I could've had very high. I'm not going to leave you because there is no way any other guy can pass the bar that you've set. And if you stay longer than four years, that's fine. I don't mind waiting. You waited for me to tell you I loved you, you're waiting a minimum of six years for us to be married, and you waited for me give my virginity to you, so I won't mind waiting for all the extra years you want to study."

This didn't convince Eli. He was still terrified about leaving Clare behind while he was two hundred eighty miles away from her.

"Remember how I told you months ago that my biggest fear was that the person I love more than anything is going to break my heart?"

"I'm not going to. I'm not giving up on us. We've broken up before and I'm not letting it happen again," Clare reassured, squeezing his hand in comfort. "It's gonna take more than a few rare visits and a few hours of driving on a road to end this for me."

"Clare, I'm not just going away for a few months. It's _four years_ I'm going to be gone."

"It's not like you're never going to come back to visit and I'll come see you. I have my license now, so once I get a car I'll drive up and visit you every chance I get. And at least you're not out of the country or overseas or anything."

"But do you know how much can change in that time? Our plans could change."

"Well, they're _our_ plans so we'll talk about them. And if you change your mind about certain things, we can talk. Like we said Kingston, if we need to take a step back and rethink, we will."

"It's too risky."

"Just think of it this way: if we get through the next few years, it'll be proof that we're supposed to be together. And I know we'll make it. This could only make us stronger."

She read Eli's face and she could tell that he was still highly skeptical.

"You know what, I'm gonna apply to Ottawa."

"Clare, you don't have to that for me," Eli began to protest.

"I'm doing for us."

"But what about the university you want to go to?"

"I'm not exactly sure where I want to go. But I looked up Ottawa online since you talked about it so much and it seems like a decent school, so it's definitely an option for me."

Eli loved Clare, thus he didn't want her studying at a university she didn't want to attend. He would rather stay here and study at the place that was on his list of possible colleges than drag Clare away from her home and end up being forlorn for the next few years.

"I don't want you to do something –."

"I was considering it anyway," she told him.

"You're sure you want to go there?"

"Well, U of O has just as much to offer as TU even if it is five hours away," she smirked, rearranging what Eli said earlier.

He simpered at her words. Security filled his veins as he began to imagine all of the positive aspects that could emerge from this. All of Clare's points had now begun to sink into his mind. Maybe this wasn't completely impossible . . .

Clare saw Eli looking more and more convinced. Hoping that it wouldn't take much more to persuade him to get him to go to the college he'd wanting to go for nearly five years, she scooted closer to him so their intertwined hands rested in her lap.

"I won't throw what we have away if you won't," she said to him, gazing into his eyes.

"And I'm not going to."

Clare grinned, knowing that Eli meant what he said. She was a bit nervous as well about have a long-distance relationship, but she knew that Eli would hold on and she would as well. He deserved to go to this university and she couldn't let him throw it away. This was better for his future and all this was just going to make their relationship mightier than it already was.

"So," she said slowly, "does this mean that you're going to Ottawa?"

Eli looked out the windshield and thought about the facts. After a few seconds of deep thinking, he made his final decision.

"You really think we can make long-distance work?" he asked.

"I know we can."

"And we'll definitely be married ten years from now?"

"If we're not it's only because we've taken on extra years of studying, but we will _definitely_ be married twenty years from now."

Smiling, he faced her.

"Alright, you convinced me. I'm going to the University of Ottawa!"

"Yes!" Clare exclaimed, embracing Eli. He returned the hug and they both smiled. "This is amazing!"

"I can't believe I got in!"

"Why not? You've worked hard for it," she continued to grin as she gave the letter back to him.

"Thanks," he said. "And, Clare, thanks for hanging on even though we're going to be far apart."

She smiled and kissed him. She knew they could make this work.

"I'll never be too far away," she promised.

"I'm gonna miss you when I leave," Eli told her when they eventually unglued their lips.

"Me too. But we have a while before you go," she said, trying to make him think positively for now. "Come on. Let's go celebrate with some victory milkshakes at the Dot."

* * *

"_You're not alone_

_And we'll brave this storm"_

_~"Carolyn" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

I made up Clare's birthday, I'm making up Eli's when I eventually write about it (which I will and I'm sure you guys will like it), I made up Eli's middle name, and (just a reminder) Adam is in the same grade as Eli in this fic since that was what I thought when I started this (hehehe, my mistake). More EClare stuff is coming next . . .

Reviews anyone?


	65. Because You Loved Me

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Okay peeps (that's right, I said "peeps"), these next four chapters have been in the works since this story started and some of my best work is within them. PLEASE REVIEW THESE FOUR! And, for the record, I'm sorry if it ever seems I'm favoring reviewers because I mention some in more than others in author's notes. That is not my intention. Truth is that all reviews mean the world to me; seriously, almost nothing makes me happier! So, now I thank EVERY SINGLE PERSON who has ever read, reviewed, added this story to favorites, everything! THANK YOU from the bottom of my EClare heart! Anyway, here's Chapter 65. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Peeps, I don't own Degrassi!

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Five

Because You Loved Me

Clare was putting the finishing touches on a prop in the Art room for Drama Club on the Tuesday two weeks after spring break. All the members of set design had to help make the final set, so Clare volunteered to finish up some of the props while Eli and Adam supervised the actors.

She just got done painting the orb of a staff when she felt a pair of familiar arms snake themselves around her waist. She grinned as Eli pulled her into him and planted a kiss on her neck.

"Risking detention?" she teased with a smile as she enjoyed the sensation of his lips against her skin.

"No one's around," he reminded as he unattached his lips. "Plus it's after school hours."

Clare put down the paintbrush and turned around in her future fiancé's arms.

"In that case . . ." she smiled as she ran a hand through his hair. She plastered her lips against his while she slid the hand down to his chest. He put one of his hands over the one of hers on his body and felt the promise ring against his palm.

The kiss eventually ended, but they still held onto each other.

"Do you know what this Friday is?" he asked as they swayed on the spot.

"What?"

"It is the month anniversary of us officially deciding to get married."

Clare counted back the weeks and he was correct. Exactly three weeks and four days ago, she went to Kingston and told him that marriage was what she wanted and they came home that night. She remembered how everything was mended and how it made their relationship stronger.

"You actually keep track of when it happened?" she asked.

"Call me a hopeless romantic, but yes."

"Well, I do have a soft spot for hopeless romantics."

Eli grinned at her before kissing her soft lips for a second.

"I was thinking we could celebrate," he informed her.

"And how are we going to do that?" she asked curiously, intrigued with this idea.

"Leave that to me," he said cockily.

"You're already making plans?" she asked, eagerness seeping through her head.

"Maybe one or two," Eli admitted. "And once I figure it out I'll let you know."

Clare smiled at him.

"Remember when I told you that you were the best boyfriend ever?" she reminded him while she played with the ends of his hair on the back of his head with her free hand.

"Yes," he recalled.

"Well, you still are."

Eli flashed a flattered, lopsided smile at her.

"So, Edwards, do we have an official date for Friday evening at six?"

"We certainly do."

Clare put her lips to his and pushed her tongue into his mouth. He held her tighter against his body while they continued to kiss heatedly. Neither of them noticed a third person entering the room until . . .

"Come on guys," Adam complained as he saw them. "If you two are going to have a make-out session, at least give the world a three second notice."

()()

Eli dropped Clare off after work hours later. As usual, working with him was pleasant and she was highly pleased with how everything was improving between them. When they were at Degrassi, he only walked her to her first class, English, and to their Drama Club meetings and they were both satisfied with that. They hung out with Adam during lunch, study periods, and Drama, so Clare never felt suffocated. The couple still talked on the phone, texted, chatted online and everything, but it wasn't consistent enough to the point of annoying.

They were both a lot happier now that they were both being with each other for a healthy amount of time and that they had an idea of what they were going to do with their lives. They were still trying to recover from the last few weeks and therefore they weren't quite ready to discuss too many plans for the future except that they were going to wait the minimum of six years to get married and that they were going to have a long-distance relationship for some time.

Smiling that everything was finally falling into place again, Clare sat on the sofa of the living room and decided to get her homework done. She felt on top of the world although this was a typical day; it amazed her that Eli could make her feel this way and he didn't even have to try. She continued to have these emotions moments later when her father stepped into the room.

"Hi, Dad," she greeted.

"Hey, sweetheart," he replied. "Doing some homework?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Geometry is going to be the death of me."

"You're a smart girl; I'm sure you'll get by."

"I hope. Thankfully, Eli said he'll help me with it if I need it . . . and I might have to take him up on it."

As she said Eli's name, she noticed a glint of annoyance in her father's eyes. Even though it has been six weeks since he found out about their plans of marriage and about how Clare wasn't a virgin, he still wasn't over it. Helen wasn't completely thrilled about it either, but she was kind enough to look through her daughter's eyes and make an attempt to understand.

"I'm sure you'll pass," he restated.

"We'll see."

He took a seat next to Clare.

"How was your day?" she asked.

"Not bad," he answered. "And just to let you know, we're going to have dinner with Alyson and Melissa on Friday."

Clare's stomach dropped painfully at these words for two reasons. The first one being that she had her big date with Eli on Friday and she had been looking forward to it ever since he suggested it to her at Drama Club hours ago. Although they were back together, she still wanted to rebuild more to make their relationship stronger. She was hoping that this date would help. Secondly, it was the company she would be forced to see if she went.

"I already made plans," she said, turning back to Randall while going with the small hope she had of potentially getting out of this event.

"What kind of plans?" he interrogated.

Clare knew that her father wouldn't hear of her bailing on a dinner with his girlfriend and her daughter just so she could go on a date with Eli. She understood that it was going to take a long time for him to trust Eli again and she didn't want to stir the pot by suggesting this. Her mind quickly came out with the best response imaginable without giving much away.

"I'm going to hang out with a friend," she answered, actually telling the truth to a certain extent.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're gonna go do stuff since we haven't really had a chance to hang out lately."

Randall stared at her, obviously sensing that Clare was leaving out an important detail.

"Would this friend happen to be Eli?"

Caught off guard that Randall had figured it out in such a short amount of time, Clare didn't answer. As they settled in, her father shook his head in a mild disappointment.

"You can see Eli at school."

"Only for a few minutes," she protested. "We're usually in class, at Drama Club, working, or busy doing something else."

"Clare, you're not going to see him this Friday."

"Please, Dad," she begged. "Eli and I haven't gone out on a date in weeks."

"And there's no reason you can't hold off until next Friday. When was the last time you spent time with Alyson anyway?"

"She took me school yesterday," Clare reminded, not really wanting to recall that moment; as far as she was concerned, every minute she spent with that woman was a minute wasted.

"I mean when was the last time did you two have a real conversation?"

Clare shrugged, not really caring how long ago it was as long as she didn't have to see her again anytime soon. Randall then pressed on in a very authoritarian tone.

"Then maybe it's time you two actually do that again. Plus, she's been wanting to see you and talk to you. And this is the least you could do since you didn't even have her over for your birthday."

"Because I didn't exactly want my seventeenth to suck," she defended.

He huffed, running an irritated hand over his head. He was aware that Clare and his girlfriend didn't exactly have the best relationship. Alyson did make an effort, but he saw how resistant his daughter was about it. What Randall failed to see, however, that Clare didn't oppose him dating; she just wasn't thrilled with the person he was seeing at this point in time.

"Look, I'm sure that you and Alyson will get closer and, with time, you'll like her more. Trust me."

"Dad, you started dating her in December. If I don't like her now, I'm probably not going to anytime soon."

"I didn't really like Eli until you guys were together for nearly ten months," Randall admonished.

"But that was different. You only saw Eli two or three times over that time. I've seen her at least fifty over the past four months."

"Clare," Randall began, standing up from the couch, "it's one night. I'm sure Eli will not mind if you reschedule."

"Dad, please," she pleaded.

"End of discussion," he declared before leaving the room.

Groaning in annoyance, Clare fell against the back pillow of the furniture. Not only did she have to cancel her date with Eli, but she had to spend time with one of the few people in the world she didn't wish to see. She knew Eli was going to understand why she had to cancel for Friday, but that was the only portion of information that made her feel less horrible about this situation.

()()

Clare sat on the side of the steps the next morning. She wanted to be with Eli this weekend, but she couldn't and that frustrated her. Why should she have to abandon a day with her boyfriend to celebrate a commitment they made for someone who could care less about her?

"Hi," Eli greeted as he took a seat next to her.

"Hi," she replied with a small smile at his presence as he put his arms around her.

"Okay, picture this for Friday," he began. "Imagine a pleasant drive around town then, as the sun begins to set, we arrive at a beautiful destination where there will be a romantic dinner for two. We can forget the whole world; no school, no worries, nothing to bring us down, nothing and no one to disturb us . . . just the two of us in our own little world. How does that sound? "

"Spectacular," Clare admitted with a sad groan. "But . . . about Friday . . . can we postpone till next week?"

"S-Sure," he answered, obviously being taken aback. "Why?"

"Well, my lovely father decided to make some last minute plans on me yesterday," she explained with a heavy amount of sarcasm in her voice.

"You don't sound very enthusiastic," Eli noted, taking notice of her tone.

"I'm not. Trust me, I would rather be with you."

"What are you guys going to do?"

"I am having dinner with him and his new girlfriend."

"That's not too bad."

"She's _horrible_, Eli. And her nineteen-year-old daughter is going to be with us and she's a total brat."

"I thought you met her over Christmas break and you didn't mind her," he recalled.

"She was fine when I first met her, but the more serious she and my dad got, the more I saw of her and she turned out to be this awful, vile woman. I met her and her daughter a few times when they came by the Dot, or when she picks me up or drops me off at school or things like that and I've grown to like them less and less."

"What makes them so terrible?" he asked, knowing she needed to talk about this.

"Other than criticizing me and my mother to the bare minimum, they act like they're better than everyone else just because they lived in California for thirteen years and they brag about it constantly."

"So they're snobs?" he summarized.

"Basically," Clare answered. "And, as it turns out, she's been married four or five times and she's had a fair number of boyfriends before her and my dad started dating. I don't even think she knows who the father of her daughter is. I'm just not a big fan of my dad dating some kind of slut."

Feeling sorry that Clare that she had to see her father dating someone like that, Eli he attempted to give her console, but it was somewhat challenging to do.

"At least it's just one dinner, so it should be done in less than two hours."

"Yeah, two hours in Hell," she replied with a grimace.

"That's a bit extreme."

"No, _that's_ sugarcoating it. I mean, they don't even like me and I'm sure they would be happier if I wasn't there. Everyone wins if I just don't go."

"Hold up a sec," Eli interjected. "Someone other than Kate doesn't like you? Please explain to me how that's possible."

Clare saw that Eli was trying to make her feel better, but it didn't help.

"They're just making some sort of notion because I'm his daughter and they feel obligated. If she had it her way it'd just be my dad, the two of them, and possibly Darcy since they never said anything against her."

"What don't they like about you?" he asked, still surprised that these people couldn't see the same immaculate person he saw.

"They think I'm extremely naïve, childish, unrealistic, and immature. And they also think of ways to 'make me a better person'," she added. "And my dad just sits there and lets them say all this."

"They actually told you this stuff?"

"No, I heard her tell my dad a few things one time when she came over and they didn't know I was in the next room."

"Sorry," Eli told her.

"It's not your fault," she replied. "It's just that what they say and the way my dad lets it all be said kind of hurts a bit."

Eli really wished he knew all of this. If this had been going on for a while, that meant Clare had a lot more on her plate than he originally thought and he was sure that their issues weeks ago didn't help. Maybe the way these people treated her had affected her thoughts subconsciously. Whether they did or did not, he felt sympathy for her.

"Clare, if you were feeling this upset about it, you could've come talk to me."

"I know," she said. "I just had a lot of other things going on so I just tried not to think about it as much."

Eli understood, but it just pained him to see her this way, especially when he knew there was nothing he could do to fix it.

"You can see why I'm not jumping for joy," Clare continued. "I'm going to be surrounded by people who don't care about me at all, but they choose to see me as the most imperfect person on the planet."

Eli held Clare tighter in his arms to give her some form of comfort. He wasn't happy about these people saying rude things about the love of his life and he knew it must've hurt Clare.

"If it makes you feel any better," he started, "I think you're perfect in every way and I care about you very, _very_ much."

Clare, despite her frustration with the people she'll be having this dinner with, couldn't help but wear a small grin and a slight blush. She felt comfort knowing that someone in the world would always see her that way even if she no one else did, including herself.

"Thanks," she said. "And you know, as long as you think that, I don't care what those women say about me."

"That's my girl."

"So next Friday?" she hoped.

"Next Friday," Eli agreed. He held Clare even tighter until her head was on his shoulder. He planted a kiss on her head. "It'll be fine. And you can call me afterwards no matter how late it is."

"Thanks," Clare said gratefully. "You're the greatest."

"I try."

"You succeed."

()()

"Doing anything right now?" Clare asked Eli by his locker on the Friday afternoon.

"No, but don't you have to meet your dad?"

"Dinner's not until six, so I have a bit of time to kill. Coffee date at the Dot?" she offered.

"Alright," Eli accepted as the two of them began to walk out of Degrassi.

Minutes later, the two of them were sitting by a window in the coffee shop. They were simply talking about their days and other topics around those lines as they drank their beverages. They were enjoying themselves so much that the time passed by until it was five thirty. Since Clare didn't have to be at the restaurant until six, Eli agreed to drop her off there, therefore giving them more time to be together.

"Listen, I've been thinking about our plan to get married and everything –."

"Please don't tell me we're going to end it again," Clare begged.

"No, no, no," he assured quickly.

"Good," she sighed in relief.

"Why would I want to celebrate the month anniversary if we were just going to end it?" he mentioned.

"Good point. What about it?"

"I was thinking about a possible date we could set for the wedding," he said. "I know you said you didn't want to plan anything, but this is just an idea."

"Okay, I'm listening," she permitted, now intrigued to hear what he had to say.

"Remember last summer on June 14th when you and I celebrated our six month anniversary?" he asked, taking her hand.

"Yeah, I remember mom ruining out moment in Morty."

They both chuckled at the memory . . .

_They had just gotten back from an afternoon at the abandoned church. They spent an afternoon listening to music, talking, and eating a small picnic they each helped prepare. They had dates like this before, but since they had officially been dating for six months now, this one meant more to them._

_They were now pulling up to the front of Clare's house while she sang along to the Dead Hand song coming from the radio._

_"Did I get you addicted to Dead Hand or something?" he asked curiously when she belted out the chorus to "Paisley Jacket"._

_"Maybe a bit," Clare confessed. "But that's your own fault."_

_"I'm not complaining," he smirked, rising up his hands in mock defense._

_She grinned at him as the song drew to a close. She then realized how long she and Eli have been together. She couldn't believe it had been half a year since they started dating. It felt so unreal, but it was truly happening as she sat in his hearse next to him._

_"Wow . . . six whole months," she finally spoke._

_"You sound surprised," he observed._

_She merely shrugged._

_"This is just the longest relationship I've been in and I'm just glad that nothing too serious has happened to us. And I just . . . I feel safe and comfortable around you," she admitted, taking his hand. "It's a great feeling. And you make me happy."_

_"You make me happy too. And I'm glad I can open up to you about things."_

_They exchanged warm grins for a second._

_"This is in for long hall, isn't it?" she asked hopefully._

_"I want it to be."_

_"I do too," she replied with a smile._

_They stared at each other warmly as they absorbed the peace and bliss of the atmosphere. After a minute of just that, Clare spoke up but kept gazing at his emerald orbs._

_"I'll meet you and Adam at the Dot tomorrow," she promised._

_"See you there, Blue Eyes," he agreed._

_She smiled at him before attaching her lips to his. Their kisses soon become loving and they started getting lost in the moment. Before long, they lost track of time. They had no clue how long their kisses lasted, but it was nothing less than flawless. They were alone in the world and they were more than content. Even when the kiss was complete, their faces still touched and kept their lips fairly close to each other's._

_"Clare," Eli breathed._

_"Yes?" she replied._

Say it, Goldsworthy,_ he scolded himself in his mind. _Say it. You know you want to. Say it already. It's three words!

_"I . . ."_

_Before he could get you "love you", there was a tapping on the glass from the passenger side window. Clare jumped at the sound and looked over her shoulder. To her dismay, her mother was watching them from the other side of the pane. Her arms were crossed and her eyes were stern. Since this was before she got to know Eli, she still disapproved of him._

_Clare rolled down the window enough until she could converse with Helen._

_"Hi, Mom."_

_"Hi, Mrs. Edwards," he accosted awkwardly. He wished he didn't call her this once he said it; at this point in time, he wasn't sure if everyone still referred to her by that name or not._

_"Eli," she replied nonchalantly. "Clare, I think it's time you come inside."_

_Clare could sense that her mom was uncomfortable with her being around Eli for too long. Not wanting to get into a debate, she nodded._

_"Okay. Just give me a second," she requested._

_Her mother nodded reluctantly before stepping away from the hearse and going back in the house. Once the front door was closed, Clare turned to Eli again._

_"What were you going to say?" she asked._

_"Never mind. It's nothing," he said, knowing that the moment had passed._

_Clare rolled her lips and nodded._

_"Okay," she accepted. "I'll see you tomorrow."_

_"Bye," he replied as he watched her exit Morty and walk on the path towards her house . . ._

"I never would've guessed that we'd be planning to get married just a few months after that," Clare conceded when they finished reflecting.

"How long did you expect us to last?" he asked of her.

Clare shrugged.

"I never really saw us with an expiration date; I just figure that if things get too horrible, we would just walk away. But everything that's happened these last few months changes things. I mean, you were just my boyfriend back then, but now you're so much more than that."

"So, if things get horrible down the road now . . . ?" he asked, curious about what she would do today.

"We stick together and get through it one way or another."

Eli grinned at these words. The reality that he and Clare were going to be together for the rest of their lives was becoming clearer and clearer and he loved knowing that he would be with her forever.

"I really wanted to tell you I loved you on that day," he confessed.

"Why didn't you?"

"I was going to, but your mom kind of . . ."

"Yeah, that kind of killed the mood."

He chuckled lightly at her statement.

"What would you have said if we didn't get interrupted?" he asked.

"I would've said that I love you too."

Eli smiled, relieved that that she wouldn't have pushed him away if he did say those words.

"Now I really wish I did say it."

"At least we said it eventually," she grinned. Eli returned her small smile in concurrence.

"So how does June 14th sound?" he asked.

"Perfect," she smiled truthfully before leaning towards him.

Their lips were about to touch when Clare's phone started going off. Aggravated with the disturbance, she pulled it out of her purse and saw her father's caller ID.

"Hi, Dad," she greeted.

"Clare, where are you?" Randall said in an annoyed, impatient voice.

"At the Dot with Eli," she answered "Why?"

"You're supposed to be home by now."

"Dad, we don't have to meet them until six," Clare reminded him. The thought of leaving Eli to see this family depressed her a bit.

"And it's a quarter till six now."

"So?"

"We're going to be late!"

"It's at Little Miss Steaks. Eli said that he would drive me, so I'll meet you guys there."

"I'll pick you up at the Dot," he decided.

"That works too," she said in defeat. It seemed that her time with Eli was at its end. "Bye."

"Bye."

Clare hung up her phone and looked at Eli.

"Dad's going to come get me any second," she told him.

He heard the bitterness in her voice and took one of her hands.

"Everything will be fine," he assured her, smoothing his thumb over the skin.

"I don't believe you, but thanks anyway," she sighed as the felt the ring on his thumb brush against her skin.

"It could be worse," Eli reminded.

"How?" she asked.

"Well . . . I could not give you this before you go . . ."

He then put his lips to hers. It wasn't passionate, but it was sweet and gentle, which was exactly what Clare needed. When he pulled away, he was pleased to see a smile on her face.

"Yeah, I couldn't leave without that. The sad thing is that this is the highlight of my day."

"It'll be over in no time," he reassured her. "And my phone isn't going anywhere."

She smiled at him before bringing his hand to her lips.

"I can't wait until next Friday."

"Same here," he replied. He turned to the window and recognized Randall's car pulling up outside the Dot. "He's here. Remember, optimism."

Clare rolled her eyes as she and Eli stood up with their hands still locked together.

"See you around," he told her.

"I'll call you later," she promised before she gave him a final kiss on the lips and let go of his hand. She unenthusiastically walked out of the Dot, leaving Eli behind by their table.

* * *

"_You were always there for me_

_The tender wind that carried me_

_A light in the dark _

_Shining your love into my life"_

_~ "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion_

* * *

Long, I know, but I didn't want to take any of this out! We must thank my sister for the flashback; she suggested that I put it in and now this chapter is A LOT better than what it would've been. I love writing these scenes with Eli trying to comfort Clare! Definitely one of my favorite things to write about! What did you guys think of the flashback? Reviews are highly appreciated!

BTW: 2 new Vlogs are up on YouTube if you want to check them out.


	66. Issues

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the reviews everyone! And Babo, you're just going have to wait and see . . . (oh, and BVB ARMY FOREVER! It's great to know there's another member out there who is both an EClare fan AND BVB fan!)

Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi (but let's keep that on the DL)

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Six

Issues

The drive to Little Miss Steaks was silent. Dreading the time she was going to have to spend with her father, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's daughter, Clare began wishing that she was back at the Dot with Eli. They pulled into the parking lot and walked towards the building at five minutes after six.

They stepped into the restaurant and saw the two women conversing at a table. Alyson was a woman in her late-forties with graying brown hair and some crow's feet on the corners of her hazel eyes. In Clare's opinion, she was wearing _way _too much lipstick. She must have applied it and reapplied it five times. Plus the white sweater, number of bracelets on her wrists, and the gold colored necklace she was wearing was too extravagant for a steakhouse. Clare knew that she wouldn't care though; Alyson never passed up the opportunity to present her elegance.

Except for the wrinkles and gray hairs, her daughter, Melissa, was the spitting image of her mother. She wasn't wearing any lipstick, but her eyelashes had a lot of volume due to some mascara. She didn't have any jewelry on except for a few bangles and hoop earrings so, but she was wearing a red blouse that was appeared to be rather expensive.

Having the uneasy feeling that one of them would say something about her being extremely underdressed since she was still wearing her Degrassi uniform, Clare and her father walked towards the duo.

"Sorry we're late," Randall apologized as he and Clare arrived at Alyson and Melissa's table.

"It's quite fine," Alyson smiled. "Hello, Clare dear."

Clare tried not to look annoyed and held her tongue for being referred to as "dear" by someone who was basically a total stranger.

"Hi," Clare said through a forced grin. "Hi, Mel."

"It's Melissa," she corrected smugly.

"_Melissa_."

"It's nice to see you again," Alyson smiled at Clare.

"You too," she replied; it was obvious she was lying, but the additional members of the quartet didn't seem to notice.

Randall and Clare took their seats.

"Clare, did you just come from school?" Alyson asked, noticing her attire.

"Oh, I went somewhere with someone after school and I didn't have time to change," she explained.

Before anyone could say something else on the subject, a waiter came and gave them their menus. Save for a few recommendations and ideas that Alyson and Randall shared, it was completely silent. The waiter returned and took each of their orders ten minutes later. Once he was gone, the conversations began.

Everything seemed to be going well in the beginning. There were a few instances when Clare wanted to speak up and change the subject, but she kept herself quiet. She just kept thinking that next Friday she would be with Eli and how she could call him in a few hours. She desperately wanted to text him, but she had the unsettling feeling that one of the two parents or Melissa would notice and she wanted Alyson secluded from her personal life as much as possible.

Whenever she wanted to escape the conversations at the table, she glanced at her promise ring and thought of Eli. She was soon reminiscing on all the times they spent together. She recalled their first kiss, their first date, their first dance, the first time they confessed their love for each other, the first time they made love, the two times he asked her to marry him . . .

"_Clare_," a sharp voice said.

"Yes?" she said quickly, snapping out of her memories.

"Finally," her father sighed. "Alyson's trying to talk to you."

"Sorry," she said. "My head was somewhere else."

"You shouldn't be getting distracted," Alyson said sternly. "When you're with new people, you're supposed to be conversing with them, not daydreaming."

_I already said I was sorry_, Clare sneered in her head.

"Sorry," she repeated, holding back the bitterness.

"Like I was saying, Clare, your father tells me you're still very dedicated to your studies."

"I am," she replied.

"And you _still_ wish to be a writer, is that correct?" Alyson asked.

"I'm hoping to. But –."

"Don't set your goals too high," Melissa interrupted.

"She's right," Alyson agreed. "The chance of getting a work published is slim."

"I know, that's why –," Clare tried to continue.

"Maybe you should do something a bit more . . . practical."

"I'm actually –."

"You could try to be a journalist or something in that field," Randall suggested.

"Or you could be like Melissa and study to be a veterinarian."

"But you see –."

"And you know, Clare, you can't just sit around and waste the time you have in your life by hoping that your writing will be a success and that everything will fall into place."

"That's why I'm going to try to become a teacher and work on writing whenever I have downtime," she quickly spat out before she was interrupted again.

"Now that's a smart move."

Thankfully, they strayed from Clare's life and moved on to Melissa's. She went into great detail as to how she had been wanting to pursue that career ever since she was seven and how she planned to open up her own animal clinic a few years after veterinary school. Clare only chimed in when necessary with five words or less. Otherwise, she sat back and observed the restaurant for the waiter to come with their food. The sooner the food came, the sooner they could eat, and the sooner they could eat, the sooner they could leave.

Minutes later, the topic moved to Melissa's personal life. She told them about her friends and classmates and, by the sounds of it, they were as pompous as she was. It wasn't long afterwards that Alyson wished to know more about Clare and she began to ask her questions.

"What about you, Clare?" she asked. "What are your friends like?"

"They're nice, funny, and smart," Clare replied. She would've described Eli, Adam, and Alli more and how much they meant to her, but she didn't believe that this woman deserved to know amazing they were.

"I'm glad to hear that. And I'm also relieved that you and that one boy have broken it off because I for one couldn't stand the thought of –."

"Wait," Clare said. "Who and I have broken what off?"

"It's not polite to interrupt," Alyson informed her.

Clare overlooked the duplicity of her statement and pressed on to the matter at hand.

"If by that one boy you mean the same guy I was seeing when we first met, then we haven't broken it off."

Alyson furrowed her brow and turned to her boyfriend.

"Randall, you said that Clare and her boyfriend had called it quits a few days ago," she mentioned.

"_What_?" Clare screeched.

"Don't raise your voice," Alyson scolded.

Clare didn't care if she yelled loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear her. The fact that her father had told a downright lie to this woman made her blood curdle. Disgusted, she turned to her father and narrowed her eyes. There was no excuse for his telling of tall tales.

"Dad, why did you tell them that?" she asked, trying to stay as composed as possible.

"W-Well . . ." he stuttered as he twiddled his thumbs and avoided his daughter's eyes, knowing he had been caught in the act.

Clare couldn't believe him. This was a low she never imagined her father would reach.

"Dad, I know you don't approve of Eli and that you practically hate him, but doesn't mean that you could –."

"Clare, I don't _hate _Eli. I just don't like everything that's happened because of him recently and that's caused me to have second thoughts."

"He didn't do anything. It was me, Dad, not him."

"It was both of you."

"What happened?" Melissa asked.

"Nothing," Clare said, not wanting this person to get involved in her business any more than she already was.

"Clare, it's not very polite to fight in front of company," Alyson interrupted.

"Melissa, there were a few incidents that happened with Clare's boyfriend that make me feel a bit . . ." Mr. Edwards tried to find the words to say.

"Judgmental," Clare finished.

"_Uneasy_," he rectified.

"Either way, you shouldn't have –."

"Alright," Alyson said, raising her voice a little. "It's alright. This isn't a problem. What's done is done. Now, Clare, why don't you tell us about this Eli?"

"I don't see why –."

"Clare, Alyson just asked you to tell us about Eli so please tell us," Mr. Edwards instructed.

Wishing more and more that she was spending an evening with Eli instead of this trio, Clare obeyed. But since everyone wanted to know about Eli, she wasn't going to deny them of the truth.

"Fine," she said. "His name is Eli, he's a senior, he's going to the University of Ottawa next year, he also wants to become a writer, he is kind, smart, very sweet, and he is one of the greatest people I have ever met."

"And she also plans to marry him," Randall added.

Clare couldn't believe her father just say that. She didn't know Alyson and Melissa very well, but she knew that they were going to have their opinions on this subject.

After hearing this bombshell, Alyson turned her attention from Clare to Randall.

"You're allowing your daughter to plan to get married at this age?"

"It's a complicated matter."

"But you're letting it happen?"

"I'm not pleased about it," he said. He lowered his voice until no one could hear him except Alyson. "Listen, I don't like the kid, but Clare is crazy about him. Helen basically told her it was her life, but . . ."

"I get it," Alyson then nodded in understanding before returning all her attention to the teenager. "Clare, are you sure that getting engaged at the age of sixteen is a wise decision?"

"I just turned seventeen and we're not –."

"Still, that's a very young age. Are you sure that's a smart idea?"

"Well –."

"Because I don't think it is."

"And neither do I," Randall agreed.

"Come on! It's not like we're getting married as teenagers!" Clare vociferated. "We're not even engaged!"

"But you're discussing marriage when you're too young to know what love is."

"I know what it is," she disputed.

"Are you sure that what you and Eli have isn't just teenage infatuation?" Melissa asked.

"I'm positive."

"Melissa's right," her father said. "As far as I see it, we can blame this on two things. There's the fact that these are hormones."

"It's not."

"But what if it is, Clare? You two will just get hurt later on down the road. But I won't just point the finger on hormones. I also think that Eli is also a reason why you're not thinking clearly."

"When did this become an intervention? I thought this was supposed to be a simple dinner."

"If we're going to get to know each other, I think we should talk about what is going on in our lives," Alyson chimed in.

"You're almost a stranger to me and I don't think we should be talking about my love life."

"Clare, you're being very rude," Randall said. "Alyson just wants to get to know you."

"Which could be done by not talking about my relationship."

"But Eli is a huge part of your life," he reminded her.

"I've already told you everything you need to know about us, so can we please –?"

"You're a bright girl Clare," Alyson interrupted. "You should know that getting married too young has consequences."

"Like your mother and I for example," Randall remarked.

"Eli and I have talked about this. We both agreed that we'll get married after college if we feel the same way we do today."

"But there are _so_ many other good guys out there. You can't just settle for one without getting to know some others."

"Yeah, you should know," Clare accidentally said aloud.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Clare," Mr. Edwards warned.

"It's alright, Randall," Alyson excused. "What do you mean by that?"

Clare wouldn't usually speak so rash, but she was angry and tense and she wanted to speak her mind.

"I mean that you shouldn't expect me to be like you and see a million different guys before I'm forty."

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

"I would rather be with this one amazing man like Eli for the rest of my life instead of getting together with every person I see. Unlike you, I actually I want to have commitment and dignity."

"Clare Diana Edwards!" Mr. Edwards hissed.

"Are you saying I'm a slut?"

"You tell me. How many times have you been married?"

Alyson put her lips in a hard line.

"Four."

"How many of those times were because you actually loved someone?'

"Watch it," Melissa snapped.

"That's not very appropriate," Alyson replied, being very conceited.

"Like how it's also not appropriate for _you_, a total stranger who doesn't know me or my boyfriend at all, to judge what we do."

"Young lady," Mr. Edwards glared at her. "May I talk to you for a minute?"

"Fine," Clare shrugged.

They walked over to the other side of the restaurant. Randall looked absolutely furious.

"You need to start being more respectful."

"I will when she does."

"She's older than you; you need to show her respect."

"She's not in charge of me; she's not my mother."

"I know that, but she's very important to me so I would appreciate it if you could be a bit nicer to her."

"You expect me to be nice to this woman when you barely give Eli the time-of-day?"

"I always give him the time-of-day."

"You know that's a pile of crap! Every time you see him you point out how wrong you think we are for each other! And you basically just said that I'm making a big mistake by marrying him!"

"I don't ask much of you, Clare. Please just cooperate with me for one night."

"But you're going to let her treat me like I'm nothing?"

"I'll talk to her later. Just please calm down and behave for now."

"Why did you have to tell her that Eli and I broke up?" she demanded, still furious about that. "You tell her everything else and if she 'wants to get to know me' then I think –."

"She has her views on how people should act."

"So you painted this picture of how she wants your daughter to be?"

"Clare, you're too young to understand."

"What is it with you guys thinking I don't understand?"

"Excuse me."

They turned and saw Alyson coming to them.

"Maybe I can help," she volunteered.

"No, thank you," Clare said through gritted teeth.

"You know, that's not such a bad idea," Randall approved.

"Okay," Alyson smiled. "Sweetie, why don't you and Melissa start catching up and I'll talk to Clare?"

"Sounds good," he agreed.

Hearing this woman call her father "sweetie" made her want to gag. Randall walked back to the table and soon started conversing with Melissa. Alyson turned to Clare and prepared to have a conversation with her.

"I think we've gotten off on the wrong foot."

Clare didn't look at her. Instead, she watched Melissa and her dad talk just so she didn't have to look at this woman's face.

"Clare, you should start behaving yourself," Alyson stated.

"I'm not a child," she said.

"You're right. You're a young lady and I see you have good character, but your father has told me a few things about how you changed since you started seeing Eli."

"Here we go," Clare mumbled under her breath.

"Randall and I are very concerned about you."

"You only met me a few months ago," she reminded.

"I know, but you're his daughter, so I'm going to care about you."

Clare bit her lip and resisted temptation to roll her eyes.

"Your father has told me about how you used to be before Eli came into your life. You were sweet, focused on your studies, and you had more consideration for your parents."

"He told you that?" Clare scoffed.

"And ever since you've started dating him you've been more . . . disrespectful and unfocused."

"I'm doing fine in school. There's only one class I'm having trouble with, but I'm getting better since _Eli_ has been helping me this week."

Alyson overlooked disregarded Clare's words and proceeded to another topic that Randall had informed her of two months ago.

"I heard there's been a pregnancy scare as well. If I'm not mistaken, he took your virginity even though you promised to remain pure until you were married."

"That isn't any of your business."

"Was that before or after you two got engaged?"

"We're not engaged. We're planning on it and then marriage. And when we had sex is none of your business."

"But still, unless you were absolutely sure you two were going to get married, you shouldn't have slept with him."

"You know what, that's very hypocritical coming from you."

"Once again, I don't know what you're talking about," Alyson said, obviously confused.

"You are treating me like I'm a whore who has no morals while you have fooled around with a million different guys. At least I'm only having sex with one guy for the rest of my life."

"But you disobeyed your parents."

Clare noticed how Alyson never denied that she had been with many men. Not really wanting on a lecture of abstinence from the likes of this woman, she tried to make her point as clear as possible.

"Listen, we both mutually decided to wait until we're married to have sex again, so can we drop that subject?"

The woman's eyes went from scornful to calm and sympathetic before she spoke.

"Clare, did he pressure you?" she asked comfortingly.

"No," she replied instantly, but Alyson ignored her.

"Because I know that it can be hard to admit that, especially if it's someone who you think cares about you, but –."

"You're making it sound like he raped me. It was _my_ idea to have sex with him. I wanted to and I don't regret doing it with him. He even asked constantly if I was sure about it. We knew we were going to last when it happened so I don't feel any shame or regret in doing it!"

"But I was informed that you two ended the relationship. Why did that happen if you both promised to stay together forever?"

"We had our reasons for doing it and we're together now, so it doesn't matter," Clare stated forcefully, not wanting to remember those days.

"Then he left for Kingston for a while and you went all the way there to get him back. To me it sounds like he was manipulating you."

"No! No, he wasn't!" Clare snapped. "I tried to tell him to stop before he left, but he told me we needed time apart. I went up there to show him that I care for him and that I want to be married to him someday! He never expected me to go all the way up there!"

"That may be what he told you, but he could've been hiding the truth from you."

"I trust him! He wouldn't lie to me!"

Alyson saw that she wasn't getting through to this girl. She took a breath and rubbed her neck before making yet another try to make this child see the road she was taking.

"Listen, your father thinks Eli is a horrible influence on you, and I have to agree."

"You don't know him," Clare growled. "Neither of you know who he is and how he treats me."

"I've been around for a long time, Clare. I know his type. He says he loves you with all his heart, promises he'll never leave you, then when you are putty in his hands you do things –."

"Stop!" Clare almost shouted. "Eli's not like that!"

"I said the exact same thing about a boy I went out with in college. He was sweet and kind at first, then I fell in love with him. Afterwards, he started cheating on me with multiple girls . . . and I don't want that to happen to you Clare. That is why you should end it soon."

"He will never cheat on me," she said.

"Every girl thinks that, but unfortunately some guys do. And, basing what I've heard about Eli, I have to draw the conclusion that he is one of those guys."

"Alyson, say all the crap you want about me; I'll get over it. But I swear, if you say one more thing about Eli –."

"I'm just telling you that you should get out of this before he hurts you later on."

"You don't know him," she restated. "And if you did, you would see that he is –."

Before she could say another word, someone came towards them.

"Our food's here," Melissa informed them, interrupting their conversation.

"Thank you, dear," Alyson said to her daughter before facing Clare again. "We'll talk later," was all she said before turning her back.

Rolling her annoyed eyes, Clare followed Alyson and Melissa and sat at the table as the waiter gave each of them their meals. They each made it their missions to not look at each other. Both of them just stared at their food and began to eat along with the others.

"So, Clare," Melissa said, breaking the tense silence, "are you and you're boyfriend going to try long-distance while he's in college? Ottawa is nearly six hours away, right?"

Usually Clare wouldn't mind talking about Eli, but didn't want to say anything to the people who thought he was a complete lowlife who only didn't really care about her. She knew that whatever she said would be discarded, misinterpreted, or manipulated into something that was completely false.

As it turned out, however, she didn't even have to say a word and these people could form their own assumptions.

"I promise you that the second he leaves for university, he'll be looking around at college girls and then you guys will be over. That's what happened with my boyfriend when he went to a different university than me," Melissa told her.

"She's probably right," Randall said. "I know how teenage boys could be and they do selfish things like that."

The last straw had been pulled. Clare was now pushed over the edge and she wanted nothing more than to scream. But she was too hurt, not to mention annoyed, to find her voice to holler to such an extent. All she knew now was that she needed to get out of that restaurant . . . she had to get out of it now.

"Excuse me," Clare said before she stood up from the table and grabbed her purse.

"Where are you going?" Randall demanded.

"I need some air."

Clare walked out of Little Miss Steaks, but she didn't plan on going back in to join them. Instead she started to walk down the street. She wanted to scream and cry at the same time due to her intense fury. She walked as fast as she could to get away from the steakhouse. She needed to be with someone . . . she needed comfort . . . she needed the comfort only one person could give her . . .

* * *

"_So I try to be silent _

_But my words they explode _

_Like hand grenades_

_I just gotta stay calm _

_Before I let this time bomb blow up in my face"_

_~"Issues" by Escape the Fate_

* * *

Hmm . . . I wonder who she could be going to see. Ha-ha! If you guys don't like the next chapter, then I fail as a decent EClare writer (just saying). Reviews!


	67. Never Gonna Be Alone

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Once again, your reviews made me smile as always (welcome back tiff, thanks klare345 for the reassurance, randomle26 for your words [BVB and Evanescence 4eva], sushi.23 for your tweets and reviews, and all you other awesome people)! I want to take this moment to thank all those who have continued to read this story! THANK YOU ALL! Okay guys, longish chapter, but I think you guys will like it. In my opinion, this is one of the "best" chapters in this story, but that's just me. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: The Degrassi Force isn't strong with this one

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Seven

Never Gonna Be Alone

Clare walked for a minimum of twenty minutes before she found herself going down Eli's street. She followed the sidewalk that led to his house, hoping that he wasn't busy doing something else. Luckily, he was right there; she saw him close the hood of Morty before putting a toolbox in the back. She walked up to the Goldsworthy's property, knowing that he'd be there for her without hesitation. This thought gave her some peace of mind.

"Hey," she said.

Eli turned around, apparently surprised to see her there.

"Clare, what are you doing here?" he asked, walking up to her. "I thought you were with your dad."

"I left," she answered. "I can't have dinner with him and those . . . those . . ." she growled and clenched her fists.

"Do they know you're here?" he asked.

"No and I don't care."

Her face was redder than the setting sun as her eyes began to drown in tears. She was in deep emotional pain and he didn't want her to hold on to that . . . not alone anyway. Eli led her to the hearse and the two of them sat on Morty's hood.

"What happened?" he asked as he held her hand.

Clare told him the whole story from start to finish. To both of their surprise, she didn't let out any tears.

"I know you aren't the person they say you are, but it was just the way they assumed it and the way they said it," she said when she concluded the tale. "I mean . . . I'm thinking my dad dragged me into this so he could try and convince me to not marry you."

"I'm sure that wasn't it. He wouldn't have told them that we were broken up if that was the case."

There was a circumstance playing out in Clare's life that she never told anyone about just so she didn't have to dwell on it. She would rather avoid it and let it become a memory than accept the fact that it's happening. On this night, however, she saw that she couldn't run away from it anymore.

"I really want to believe that, Eli, but this has been going on for a long time," she finally told him. "He and I are . . . we aren't the same as we used to be. Now this is making everything worse. It doesn't even feel like he's my dad; he's different. Ever since he started dating her, he's been someone I don't know. He's not the same dad who used to listen to my side of the story and understand why I did things, but now he chooses not to listen or anything. Before this, he would've been like my mom and he would've tried to see why I wanted to have sex with you and marry you, but he's not like that anymore."

She sniffled and tried not to let her tears spill. She took a breath. Eli then put his arm around her and guided her head to lie on her shoulder. She nestled her head in the crook of his neck as he gently smoothed his hand on her hair.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he told her softly.

They sat there in the dead silence for a few minutes. Clare tried hard not to cry. It wasn't because she was afraid to cry in front of Eli, but because she just didn't want to.

"My dad's gonna kill me," she said.

"No, he won't," Eli assured her, knowing she was being figurative.

"I acted like a drama queen in front of his girlfriend and her daughter."

"No, no, no," he said directly. "You just revolted because you were being treated like crap."

"Try telling that to _them_," she scoffed. "I bet right now they're saying how crazy I am for being planning to get married or how stupid I am for dating you or that I'm such a brat for leaving in the middle of dinner."

It was getting harder and harder to stop the tears from coming. She bit her lip until she felt them dissolve before they showed themselves.

"Come on," Eli said, taking her hand to help guide her off the hearse. "I'll take you to your parents' apartment. I'm sure your mom will understand what's going on."

"Thanks."

They climbed into the car and Eli began driving Morty down the street. The only noises came from the engine and the _whoosh_ of the few cars that passed them. Eli could've sworn that he saw Clare wipe a tear out of her eye at one point and he desperately wished with all his heart that he could take her pain and insecurity away from her.

Whenever he could use one hand on the wheel, Eli would reach over to her and would either take her hand or pat and rub her thigh comfortingly. Clare understood that his intentions were to give her console, so she never thought of it as something other than that. Within a matter of ten minutes, Eli was pulling Morty into the parking lot of her parents' apartment complex.

"Eli," Clare said as he turned off the car.

"Yeah?" he asked, taking off his seatbelt.

Clare looked up and bit her lip. Tears were swimming around in her eyes. Eli scooted over in the seat and pulled her into an embrace that she desperately needed. He soon felt her tears fall onto his skin and begin to travel down his neck while he heard Clare sob a few times.

"Did I act irrationally?" she choked.

"No," he assured her. "You did what you had to do. And I'm glad you came to my house."

"I'm glad I had somewhere to go," she whimpered.

He held her for a few minutes until she was calmer. As he held her, he continued to speak.

"You stay here, okay? I'm gonna go talk to your mom."

"Eli, you don't have to do that," she protested, knowing that he and Helen weren't exactly on a smooth road at this point.

"I don't mind. You already told the story once; you don't need to say it again."

Clare sat there. Eli was right; she didn't want to reminisce what had happened that night, but at the same she didn't want him to do this if he didn't want to. Eli could sense what she was thinking and he knew that he had to assure her that he was fine with it.

"Clare, let me go talk to her."

Clare didn't say a word.

"Where's the room?" he asked caringly.

"Third floor, room sixty-four," Clare answered as she kept her head where it was.

"Okay," he said as he leaned away from the hug.

"Thank you," she whimpered gratefully.

Eli gave her a comforting kiss on the forehead before climbing out of the hearse.

"I'll be right back."

She nodded in response as he got out and made his way towards the apartment building. He stepped inside and went straight to the third floor before checking the numbers on the front of all the doors.

"Sixty-one . . . sixty-two . . . sixty-three . . . bingo," he said quietly to himself as he found the room. Eli knocked on the door and waited. He had little idea to what he could possibly say to Clare's mother, but he couldn't just sit back and try to form a speech. This was urgent, and therefore he had no choice but to go with his gut. He was nervous, considering this was going to be their first encounter alone with Mrs. Edwards since she found out about the pregnancy scare, but he had to get over that so this situation could be solved somehow and he knew that if anyone could help, it was Clare's mom.

The doorknob turned and the face of Helen Edwards was revealed to him.

"Eli," she said, obviously surprised.

"Mrs. Edwards, there's something I need to talk to you about."

"Is everything alright?"

"It's about Clare."

"Is she okay?"

"She's a bit upset."

"Wait, she's supposed to be at dinner with her dad tonight?" she mentioned, brow furrowed.

"I know, but . . . it's a kind of a long story."

"Well, in that case, come in," she permitted.

"Thank you."

Helen allowed Eli to enter and she gestured to the armchair to invite him to sit down while she sat on the sofa not far from it.

"Where is Clare?" she asked.

"She's trying to calm down in my car."

"Alright," Helen nodded. "What's going on?"

Eli told her everything Clare said to him and didn't leave anything out. He told Helen all the fears Clare had inside her after he told her what occurred that night. She looked sympathetic and angry at the same time the as Eli repeated the story.

". . . then she left, came to my house, we talked, and now she's sitting outside."

"I knew there was something I didn't like about that woman," Mrs. Edwards said in a harsh voice. "And Randall didn't say anything to stop Alyson?"

"Clare said he would talk to her about it later."

"Which is code for 'I'll never talk about it'," she concluded bitterly.

They sat there for a minute or so. Helen rubbed her hands and began thinking of what should be done right now.

"Do _you_ think he planned this?" she asked him.

"I don't think so," he answered.

"Well, whether he did or not, it doesn't give him the right to stand by and let this stuff be said to her."

She then fiercely stood up and got her jacket out of the closet before heading to the table and putting her cell phone in her purse.

"Eli, can you do me a favor?" she asked, putting her bag over her shoulder.

"Sure, name it," he agreed, standing up from his seat.

"I'm going to talk to Randall and Alyson about this. Odds are it's not going to be pleasant and I don't want Clare getting in the middle; she's had a rough enough night as it is. I don't want her at either of our homes because, either way, an angry parent is going to be there. Can Clare stay with you tonight?"

"Of course."

"Thank you. It's not going to be a problem with your parents, is it?" she made sure.

"Not at all," Eli promised.

"I'm going to trust you here, Eli," Helen said. "She's in a very delicate position and I'm still trying to get over the pregnancy test scenario so . . ."

"Mrs. Edwards, I promise nothing like that is going to happen," he reassured. "Clare and I mutually agreed that we won't . . . you-know-what until after we're married."

Mrs. Edwards smiled.

"You're definitely getting your way back into my good books again, Eli."

()()

Minutes later, they were walking out of the building and made their way towards Morty. Clare was sitting inside when she saw them coming to the car. She rubbed her wet eyes before climbing out of the vehicle and onto the sidewalk.

"Hey, sweetheart," Helen said, pulling her daughter into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to cause trouble or anything."

"No, no, no Clare. Eli told me everything; you're not in the wrong here."

"I-I just couldn't take it."

"I know," she said to her before Clare cried a bit more.

She appreciated her mother and Eli being here for her, but she felt horrible for she thought that acted a bit childish by running away like she did. The painful thing was that she didn't think she had any other choice but she felt so rotten about it. She was just heavily appeased that these two were being highly understanding and that they weren't judging her. Clare leaned out of the hug to wipe her eyes when Helen decided to inform her of something.

"You're staying at Eli's tonight."

"Seriously?" she asked in a surprised relief.

"Yes, and I'll call you tomorrow after I figure out what we should do about this, okay?"

Clare nodded before her mother pulled her into another embrace. She cried a little and her mother tried to soothe her by kissing the top of her auburn hair. Eli stood there, relieved that Mrs. Edwards was being open and understanding about this. If he wasn't so worried about the broken heart she had received that night, he would've been more at peace with the idea that Clare's mother was finally accepting him in her life again.

Moments later, mother and daughter separated and Helen turned to Eli.

"Thank you so much for all you've done tonight," she told him.

"It's not a problem."

Helen gave him a small smile and turned to her daughter again.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," she promised, giving Clare one final hug.

"Love you, Mom."

"Love you, too."

They leaned out of the hug again and Helen gave Eli a nod in company with a small smile before walking to her car across the parking lot. It was now just the couple standing in the parking lot next to the hearse.

"Want to get going?" he asked kindly.

Clare didn't answer; she just climbed back into Morty and closed the door behind her. Eli began feeling awkward about this. No, he didn't have an issue with Clare being at his house; he just didn't want to make Clare feel like she _had_ to stay there. He recalled how barely a month ago she mentioned how she thought her staying the night with him was moving too fast and how this was something she wasn't ready to do. She was distressed enough as it is already and he didn't want her to be in a place where she would feel uncomfortable.

He walked to his side of the car and climbed in before turning to her.

"If you'd rather go to Alli's or something –," he began.

"No," she said, alarmed and quickly snatching his hand. "I want to stay with you . . . unless you don't want me to," she mentioned, hoping that wasn't the case.

Eli gently brushed his thumb over the top of her hand.

"I don't mind you staying, but I just don't want you do something you don't want to do. You said before that it was rushing and stuff, and . . ."

Clare had lost count of all sweet gestures he had given her today. Ever since they returned from Kingston, he had been more considerate of her feelings just so she could be comfortable and happy. Loving how thoughtful he was being now, she gave his hand a lovable squeeze.

"Honestly, Eli, wherever you are is the only place I really want to be right now."

()()

They stopped by Clare's house so she could grab a change of clothes and a few necessary toiletries. Once they were done there, they went straight to the Goldsworthy's house. It would only be Eli and Clare there tonight since CeCe and Bullfrog were out doing something or other. After Eli parked, the two of them climbed out of the hearse and walked towards the house. As they made their way up the path, they both remained quiet but Eli put a gentle hand on Clare's back in comfort.

They went into the house and went upstairs. It was only eight o'clock, but all Clare wanted was to lie down, fall asleep, and escape this world for many hours. She was in the bathroom right now, getting changed into some light blue pajama pants and matching top. She had yet to cry again, but she knew that it could happen if she kept dwelling on what happened. She put her uniform in her bag and took a breath before she stepped out of the bathroom and saw Eli leaning against the opposite wall. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a black t-shirt for sleepwear.

"Hey," she greeted, closing the bathroom door behind her.

"Hey," he echoed. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess," she shrugged. "Well . . . 'night," she mumbled as she headed towards the stairs.

"Where are you going?" he asked before she descended.

"Living room," she replied.

Eli shook his head.

"After the day you had? No, you, young lady, are staying in my room."

"But –."

"It's not up for debate, Clare. Come on," he said before gently taking her hand and leading her towards his room. Whenever he thought she was about to protest again, he shot her a look and she kept her mouth closed.

Eli took her bag when they entered his room and put it on the ground next to his door before he led her toward the bed.

"You're sure you don't mind me sleeping here?"

"Not even a little," he promised.

"I won't mind sleeping on the couch."

"I would," he told her. "I insist."

He then lifted up the black cover and allowed her to climb in before draping it over her. She leaned against the headboard while trying not to feel upset or anything. Eli, of course, saw her anguish even though she tried to deny it. He sat down on the side of the bed and took her hand.

"Clare, don't let anything that woman says bother you, okay?" Eli told her. "She doesn't know you, she doesn't know me, and she doesn't know what we've been through, and if she chooses not to see the good person you really are, that's her loss."

"Thanks," Clare said quietly. "I just can't believe that my dad actually cares about this woman, who he met six months ago, more than his own daughter."

"He doesn't care more about her. I'm not trying to defend what he did, but look from his perspective. He's divorced, one of his daughters is in Africa and the other one's planning to get married, so he's just going through a midlife crisis sort of thing."

"How do you know?"

"My mom's brother did something similar a few years ago."

He gently tightened his hold on her hand and looked her in the eye.

"Trust me, once he realizes how horrible this woman is, he'll either stand up to her or he'll break up with her."

"You think so?"

"Just wait and see," Eli said. "And I'm sure your mom will knock some sense into them."

Clare weakly grinned at him.

"If only they saw the you I know."

"Actually, I kind of see his point about me," he admitted.

"No, Eli –."

"I mean I understand why he's freaking out about us having sex because of what happened to Darcy. Plus, the whole kid in black who drives a hearse and wears eyeliner and colors his nails black thing may have thrown him off a bit; then there's the fact that you're also his youngest daughter and he doesn't want you to grow up."

Clare rolled her lips. Once again, Eli was right. That meant plenty of sense and she was sure that this was why her father was acting this way to a certain extent. Unfortunately, she also knew that his actions were genuine.

"I never thought of it that way," she sighed guiltily. "I'm still hurt about what happened tonight though."

"And you have the right to be."

Clare then looked at the covers on the bed. She couldn't believe how benevolent Eli was being. He was one of the first people to listen to her all night and actually care about her feelings. Knowing that she could confide in him again, she took a breath before she looked back up at her future husband.

"Eli, I'm scared," she confessed, tears returning.

"Why?" he asked caringly.

"It just seems like everything and everyone I love leaves me and that's how it's always going to be."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"First Darcy left and I don't see her very often, Alli left Degrassi, and then my parents got divorced. Now my dad's being this way and we're probably going to start growing apart more than ever," she began to sob again. "So I-I'm terrified that someday that you will just not care and you'll leave me too."

Eli then pulled her into a comforting hug. He wasn't frustrated or annoyed that she thought those things one little bit like a few people would have been. Whether their actions were intentional or not, people always left her behind in some way and he understood that she would have that fear when it came to him.

"I'm always going to care about you and I'll never leave you," he vowed to her. "I promise; I'm going to be around for a long, long, long, _long_ time."

"How long?" she asked through her tears.

"As long as you want me to be," he said.

"You're going to be around for a while."

"Then it's a good thing I'm not planning on going anywhere else."

He let her cry out a bit more, the tears from her eyes falling onto the shoulder of his dark t-shirt.

"What would I do without you?" Clare asked of him not long after as she let out a couple more tears and wrapped her arms around him.

He didn't answer. Instead, he just rubbed her back. She shook in his arms and thanked God that Eli was here for her to give her unconditional love and comfort when she was in desperate need of it.

"I'm always going to be here for you. I swear," she heard him say.

"I believe you," she choked through the embrace and tears.

He held her for a few more minutes until she was no longer sobbing. He slowly leaned away from her and saw the tears on her face. He gently cleared the trails of tears off her face while she gave him an appreciative grin.

"I'll be right downstairs if you need me, okay?" he told her, smoothing some hair out of her eyes.

"Okay," she nodded.

Eli gave her a soft kiss on the cheek before he stood up and made his way towards the door.

"Sleep well," he bade, turning off the light.

"Wait," Clare spoke up before he left the room. She scooted over to the left until there was room for him. "Can you stay with me?"

He was a bit apprehensive about the idea. He had finally been able to establish a better relationship with Clare's mother and he didn't want to jeopardize that in any way.

"I told your mom nothing would happen."

"Nothing's going to happen. We're just sleeping side-by-side."

For the second time that night, Eli didn't want to do anything that Clare found uncomfortable. He wanted to stay and comfort her if she needed it, but he didn't want her to either regret or feel uneasy if he did lie in his bed beside her all through the night.

"Are you sure?"

"Please, Eli," Clare pleaded of him. "It's been a rough day and I just want to be with you."

Once he saw that she was absolutely serious he couldn't deny her request.

"Alright," he accepted.

He walked back over to the bed and slid in next to Clare, who was showing a truly happy smile for the first time in hours as they each rested their heads on the pillows.

"Hold me?" she requested of him.

He knew that she needed him and therefore he didn't hesitate. He put one arm around her waist and another around her shoulders; he pulled her closer to him until she was resting her head on his collarbone.

"This okay?" he asked.

"Perfect," she nodded. "Don't let go."

"I won't."

He couldn't help but feel a bit angry with Clare's father and the company he kept. Clare didn't deserve to be sleeping in a different house in his arms; she deserved to be smiling, laughing, and having a good time with the people who could one day become her extended family . . . but that picture was shattered because their minds were so thick. The thought of them being that way to Clare made him furious. As he stared at the ceiling with this distraught girl in his arms, he thought of what her mother was saying to Mr. Edwards and Alyson at this point in time and he hoped they realized what they'd done to Clare.

He hid his anger from Clare since she actually had to go through this and the last thing she needed was more angry people around her. He didn't mind putting his frustrations to the side for Clare; she needed him to be there and comfort her, and that's what he did.

"Eli," she breathed and causing him to come out of this thoughts.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Thanks for everything."

"It's no problem. And if you need anything, wake me up, okay?"

"Alright," Clare answered tiredly.

"Good. Now, get some rest; you've had a long day."

"I love you," she sighed.

"I love you too. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she replied before she gave him a small kiss on his upper neck. He felt her relax in his arms as she fell into a slumber; he supposed that all the stress and struggles of the day finally took their toll thus causing her to fall into sleep quicker than usual.

Before Eli closed his eyes in an attempt to sleep, he felt a single tear fall onto his shirt. He looked at Clare and saw her eyes closed, but he saw the trial the tear left behind. Hoping that her pain will somehow be eased, Eli held her tighter and kissed her head softly.

"I'll always be here," he whispered to her sleeping body as his eyes rested on the promise ring that still clung around her finger. "I promise."

* * *

"_You're never gonna be alone _

_From this moment on _

_If you ever feel like letting go_

_I won't let you fall _

_When all hope is gone_

_I know that you can carry on _

_We're gonna see the world out_

_I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone"_

_~"Never Gonna Be Alone" by Nickelback_

* * *

New Vlog is up concerning "You'll Be In My Heart", the video I promised to make about Chap 50 (plus mentioning a deleted chapter), and why I won't be updating over Christmas. Check it out please! Just go to my channel on YouTube (link on profile) and look for "A Better Vlog via Webcam". I have to take the ACT on Saturday (dreading, dreading, dreading), so I would love some reviews to make me smile. Please?


	68. Legacy

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the reviews guys and thanks for the encouragement on my ACT! It's all a blur now, but I don't think I did too badly. I won't get the results back for at least a month, though, so I'm a bit nervous. J.A.L.L, your reviews brought me to happy tears as always! And, moxxy, thank you! Once you get an account, let me know and I will read your stuff! KitKat0219, thank you for your reviews! Nikki, I LOVE your enthusiasm on the big Kate thing that's going to happen. However, if I tell you when it's going to happen, it wouldn't be as interesting to your reactions. Trust me, the wait will be worth it, but I shall not say when it will happen. It will definitely happen though simply because I want to put it in so freaking bad! Sorry guys, done with the rant! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. And I mentioned in a previous author's note that I will become Mrs. Craig Mabbitt . . . I take that back!

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Legacy

Clare opened her eyes the next morning, sat up, and looked around. She had no idea why she was lying in Eli's bed at first, but then she remembered everything that happened last night and the heartache flooded back to her. As she shook her head, she realized that Eli wasn't beside her. Before she had time to feel crestfallen, he entered the room with a steaming cup in each hand. He was still wearing the clothes he had on last night before they fell asleep and Clare could tell by his bedhead that he hadn't been up for long.

"'Morning," she said groggily as he walked over to the bed and sat on the edge next to her.

"Good morning," he replied as he handed her a cup full of coffee.

"Thanks," she said before she took a sip.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better," she said.

"Really?" he made sure.

"Yeah . . . a bit . . . not really," she sighed in defeat.

"I'm sorry," Eli said comfortingly.

Clare shrugged and drank her some of her beverage.

"Thanks for staying with me last night," she said. "And letting me stay here and everything else you did."

"No problem."

"I really appreciate it."

She then put her lips to Eli's and tasted the flavor of coffee on his mouth. They separated and put their drinks to the side. Clare saw the picture of the two of them at the carnival last summer sitting on his nightstand.

"I remember that day," she smiled. "It was four or five days before our six month anniversary."

Eli could tell that she was trying to cheer herself up, so he decided to help; she deserved to keep that beautiful smile on her face.

"Remember when Adam and I dragged you onto that roller coaster?"

Clare chuckled.

"And I promise you that is the last time I will ever go on one of those."

"You know you loved it," he teased.

"Until I nearly lost the cotton candy I ate before we went on."

"Well, that's something to remember for next time."

Clare playfully rolled her eyes before turning back to that picture.

"I still have that panda."

"Really?" he said with a small grin.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Sometimes when I want to be with you but can't, I snuggle with it and think of you."

"So I've been replaced by a stuffed animal?" he smirked kiddingly.

"Not replaced, substituted," she correct with a smile of her own.

"Okay, I can live with that," Eli accepted as they both continued to grin.

The joyful mood didn't last long, unfortunately. Clare soon started reflecting on the night before and she bit her lip. She never wanted to leave Eli's house. No matter what, it was always comfortable and it felt like home.

She remembered how not long ago he mentioned that he cleared a place for her just in case she ever stayed over, but all their problems forced her to decline. Now, however, the idea seemed very inviting.

"Is that drawer still available?"

"It is," Eli answered, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"I think I'm going to need it if my dad keeps doing these things."

"Well, that drawer isn't going anywhere," Eli promised, gesturing to the chest of drawers across the room. "But you said you were moving too fast if you stayed here or that you wanted to wait until your parents calmed down about us."

"I know, but . . . I don't know how to explain it. All I know is that I want to be in a place where I feel safe and happy and that's wherever you are."

Seeing a small grin forming onto her face, Eli took Clare's hand.

"So you're definitely ready for a few sleepovers?" he ensured.

"Yeah," Clare nodded.

"Well, mi casa es su casa," he said, gesturing to the room with his free hand.

"Gracias, señor," she smiled.

They silently drank the rest their coffee. Clare kept turning back to the picture just so she could simply focus on an amazing day in her life as opposed to the horrible one from last night.

"Do you mind me using your shower real quick?" she asked once her cup was empty.

"Go ahead," he acceded.

"Thanks," she said.

Eli got off the bed so Clare could climb out and put her feet on the floor. Eli gave her a hug in company with a kiss on the head once she was standing. She showed him a tiny, loving smile before she picked up her bag, left his room, and headed towards the bathroom.

When he heard the shower running from down the hall, Eli picked up the mugs and made his way downstairs. He arrived in the kitchen and saw his mother pouring herself a bowl of cereal.

"Hi, baby boy," CeCe greeted.

"Hey," he replied as he put the dishes in the sink. "Clare's here."

"Really? Is everything okay?" she asked, perplexed. Clare had never stayed over before and her suddenly being there made CeCe curious.

"Some things happened last night with her dad and his girlfriend and she came here."

"Does her family know that she's here?"

"Her mom does; it was actually her idea."

This made CeCe slightly bewildered; she never expected Clare's mother to allow this to happen, especially since everything had been so chaotic the month prior.

"What happened?" she asked with a bit of worry in her voice.

"They just said a lot of things about her and me being together and other things until Clare couldn't take it anymore and she left."

"Is she okay?"

"She's better compared to last night, but she's still pretty upset."

"Poor thing," she said sympathetically. "What did they say?"

"It's a long story, but basically they said that we aren't going to last, Clare shouldn't marry me, they think I'm a monster, and that Clare is being stupid and immature for going out with me, let alone marrying me someday."

CeCe's mouth dropped in annoyance and she crossed her arms.

"So they basically attacked her like a pack of hyenas?"

"Basically," Eli restated bitterly.

CeCe shook her head in repugnance before releasing a low breath.

"Are you alright?" she asked her son.

"Not really," he said bluntly. "I want to pound their heads in."

He stood there and glared at the counter. All the animosity that had been forming inside him in the past twelve hours was about to reach it's boiling point. He forcefully slammed his hand on the table before facing CeCe.

"It's not fair! Hasn't she been through enough with her family without her dad doing all of this?"

"Eli, calm down," CeCe instructed. "Clare might hear you."

Not wanting upset Clare any further, he made an attempt to keep himself serene. He pushed all thoughts of Mr. Edwards, Alyson, and Melissa to the back of his head and focused his mind on nothing but Clare.

"Is she still asleep?" CeCe then asked.

"She's taking a shower," he explained. "I'm just going to wait for her upstairs."

"Alright," she said, sitting down at the breakfast table.

Eli was sitting at his desk a ten minutes later when he heard the door open. He turned around and saw Clare stepping into the room. She was wearing some jeans and her _Spring Jam _shirt as she held her bag. Her hair was dampened and was slowly returning to its usual curl. He also took notice of her reddened eyes and the trails of tears going down her face.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

She shrugged and put her bag on the ground.

"Want to talk?" he offered.

Clare shook her head and sat down on the end of his bed.

"I've just been thinking about last night again," she confessed.

Sympathy coursing through his veins, Eli moved to his bed and sat next to Clare. He pulled her towards him and kissed the side of her moistened scalp.

"Sorry about that."

"I don't want to keep thinking about it, but I am."

"Well, just try to think about something else," he suggested.

"I tried," she informed him. "Every time I try and think of anything other than _them_, I still always start remembering last night."

Eli desperately wished he could give some words of comfort and advice, but nothing came to him. Having no idea what he could say, he gently kissed the hair atop of her head. Clare understood that Eli wanted to help and she put him in this compromising position that, ultimately, made him feel useless. Once his lips left her head, she turned to him.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't be," he replied, understanding what she meant.

()()

An hour later, after Eli held Clare as she spilled silent tears and after he showered and after they were done eating some breakfast, the two of them were sitting on the couch and began watching a movie. Eli held onto Clare the whole time as she rested her head on his chest. CeCe had left during breakfast to run a few errands, so it was Eli and Clare were alone again.

"Has your mom called you yet?" Eli asked.

"No," Clare replied quietly.

"Well, you know you can stay with us as long as you need," he told her.

"Thank you," Clare said.

"No need," he grinned at her warmly. "We're practically a family now; what's ours is yours."

Clare desperately wanted to know what the status of the situation was, but she didn't mind waiting with Eli.

"Thanks," she restated softly.

They soon started watching the movie, but they didn't pay much attention to it for the most part; Eli was too busy focusing on Clare's saddened eyes while she constantly reflected back to the dinner. Eli turned off the television once the movie was over two and a half hours later.

"Want anything?" he asked.

She shook her head, still being plague by those memories. She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"I'm sorry if I'm making a big deal about this or anything," she apologized, knowing that he would rather see her brighter side.

"You're not," Eli assured her as he wrapped a gentle arm around her shoulders. "Any sane person who has already been through a lot with their family would be the same way."

Clare rested her head on his shoulder and laid her arm across his chest.

"I can't even begin to thank you for being so kind to me," she told him quietly.

"And you don't have to. Just let me know if there's anything I can do to make this better."

"Um . . . actually, there is _one_ thing."

She pulled her head off his shoulder and put her lips on his. The softness of his lips on hers only numbed a little bit of the ache she was feeling, but it was enough for the time being. He slid one of his hands onto her thigh as she wrapped both of her arms around his middle. She soon pulled him down so he was kissing her while hovering over her body as she laid her back on the couch.

What they didn't realize was the car that had just parked outside the Goldsworthy home, and it didn't belong to CeCe or Bullfrog. Another factor they didn't take into account was that the curtains were drawn from the window, so anyone standing outside could easily see into the room . . . and, in this case, anyone was Randall Edwards.

Shaking in pure enmity, he stormed towards the house, threw the door open, and barged into the living room. Hearing the noise, the couple broke apart and saw him standing there by the couch. His face was red and his eyes were on fire.

"Dad!" she cried out in shock and a bit of worry.

"What were you thinking?" he shouted at her. "Running out like you did and spending the night with _him_?"

"I-I . . ." she stammered, not sure what to say.

"Your mother came to the restaurant last night and began lecturing me in front of Alyson and Melissa! She then dragged me outside and began telling me everything _he _told her!" he yelled, pointing at Eli. "Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was to tell them that I had to leave early because my daughter ran away to spend a night with her _boyfriend_?"

As he rambled, Eli began feeling more and more anger within him. His daughter runs away from home and he was more concerned about what that despicable woman thought of him? It was nothing less than revolting to Eli. He couldn't believe that this man, Clare's own father, was being this selfish.

"You realize you're trespassing, right?" Eli finally snapped, not caring that he was being rude to his girlfriend's dad; he was still infuriated about what occurred the night before so he could honestly care less about how Randall felt about him at this point.

"You keep quiet! And you better take your hands off her right now and keep them that way from this point on!"

Eli didn't obey completely. He got off Clare, but he stood up and brought Clare with him.

"Come on, Clare," Eli said, taking her hand and maneuvering around the coffee table to avoid crossing paths with Randall. He got his keys off the table next to the door before her father realized what they were doing.

"We are we going?" she asked as they left his house.

"Where do you want to go?" was his response.

"Anywhere away from him," she answered bluntly.

Seconds later, they heard the door open and slam. Randall quickly cut in front of them before they could reach the hearse.

"You aren't going anywhere with her," he said pointblank.

Before another word could be uttered by any of the three, another car parked in front of the home. Seconds later, Helen climbed out of the vehicle and rushed to the group.

"I'm sorry about this," Helen said to teenagers before turning to Randall. "We weren't done talking."

"I am," he sneered at her. "Besides, you said everything last night to me and Alyson last night."

"But I want to finish my conversation of you! I didn't tell you that Clare was here just so you could –."

"Clare, get in the car," Randall interrupted, not wanting to speak to Helen anymore. "We're going home."

"No, I'm not letting you take our daughter anywhere if you're just going to yell at her for leaving last night!" Helen almost shouted.

"Well, I'm not letting her come home with you so you could talk about how much of a horrible father I am!"

"I'm just going by what I see and hear."

"Oh, so you _do _think I'm a horrible father?" he demanded.

"I never said that."

"But you never denied it."

Helen pursed her lips. Randall's face was transforming from a red to a dark red at a fast rate.

"I'm not letting her go with you," he stated through clenched teeth.

"And I'm not letting her go with _you_," Helen reciprocated.

"She's welcome to stay here," Eli offered to Clare's mother, but Randall didn't see it that way.

"You stay out of this!" he yelled while pointing at Eli. "Clare, I forbid you to see him anymore!"

"No," Clare protested immediately before wrapping her arms around one of Eli's.

"Yes!"

"You can't do that, Randall!" Helen intervened.

"I'm her father! I have a say in who she dates or not!"

"I disagree in this case. Eli was there for her last night when _you_ weren't; if he wasn't there –."

"None of this would've ever happened!"

"You were fine with him a few months ago!"

"That was before he filled Clare's head with ideas of sex and getting married when she's too young."

"He didn't do that to me, Dad!" Clare retorted. "I'm a teenager, it happens. And I want to marry him someday _after_ I graduate university!"

"You weren't even considering have sex before you were married until Eli came along."

"He never asked me to consider anything!"

"I don't care! It happened and –!"

"I love him!" she hollered. "And I'm going to marry him one day and you aren't going to change that!"

Randall growled as turned away from his daughter.

"Don't you see what he's done with her?" he demanded of his ex-wife.

"You mean how she's been and how she doesn't respect us? I know that's what your girlfriend told Clare and I don't see it that way."

"Then why did she break her vow?"

"That was her choice!"

Randall shook his head.

"So you don't have a problem that they had sex?"

"At first, yes, but they agreed to not do it again until marriage _and_ I understand why they did it," she explained.

Eli and Clare stood there, wondering if the parents still realized they were there. Seeing her father and hearing him speak these words made all of Eli's anger from last night and that morning rise to the surface. He couldn't keep quiet any longer . . . and he refused to.

"If I may," he spoke over the feuding divorcees.

"Absolutely not!" shouted Mr. Edwards.

"No, please continue, Eli," Mrs. Edwards permitted. "If anyone here deserves the right to speak, it's you."

Knowing the time had come to finally speak his mind, Eli managed to work up enough nerve to take a step towards the older gentleman and look him dead in the eye.

"You, Alyson, and her daughter can say anything you want about me. Believe what you want about me, my intentions, just about anything you want. But all three of you are _dead_ wrong when you said that I don't really care about Clare. I do and I love her more than anything in the world. I don't care if you believe that or not, but it's the truth. Just remember that for next time.

"And, frankly, it absolutely _disgusts_ me that you allowed these two people, who you've just recently met, to talk that way to your daughter and that you actually went along with it. In all honesty, I'm glad she left and came here where she wouldn't be putdown, ridiculed, or unaccepted."

Her father didn't look happy, but Eli continued to stand his ground. He was glad to get it off his chest, not to mention say it to the man himself. Clare stood there, seeing the fire in her dad's eyes. She admired Eli for standing up to him like that; if the situation wasn't so intense, she probably would've grinned.

Randall took a step towards Eli and stared right at him as they both crossed their arms.

"You have some nerve talking to me like that," Randall snarled at him.

"Small world," Eli glared.

It was plain to see that Mr. Edwards didn't appreciate being the target in a verbal attack. Suddenly, he threw a right hook and his fist collided with Eli's nose with so much force that he stumbled to the side. Gasping in pain, Eli covered his nose with his fingers.

"Eli, are you alright?" Clare shrieked as she put a gentle hand on his back.

"Yeah," he replied after he took a few breaths.

"You two go inside for a minute, please," Helen instructed as she tried to remain calm.

"Not on my watch," Randall argued.

"I want to have a word with you, and I rather not let them hear it."

Clare took Eli's arm and led him back into the house before he father could say anything else.

"I'm so, so, so sorry," she said to Eli as they walked into the kitchen.

"It's okay; I've had worse," he reassured her, but she saw blood was still trickling out of his nose once he lowered his hands.

"You're bleeding," she told him before he sat in a chair. Worried and slightly frantic, Clare got some paper towel and passed it to Eli.

"Thanks," he said before covering his nose with it.

"Do you want me to call the police? Or an ambulance?" she asked as she watched him try to stop the blood. She was clearly starting to panic and overthink.

"It's not that bad," he said, his voice coming out a bit nasally.

"Are you dizzy, nauseous, anything?" she interrogated.

"I'm fine," he restated.

Clare was shaken that her father had assaulted Eli this way. Feeling guilt and despair, she sat next to him and rubbed his upper arm and shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't be," Eli replied.

"Eli, I feel terrible. If I –."

"Clare, don't be sorry and don't feel bad, okay? This isn't your fault."

Whether that was the case or not, Clare did not want this going down a more dangerous road. Eli was hurt and her parents were fighting like they haven't done since before they got divorced. She wasn't going to let this continue.

"Listen, I'm going with my dad."

"Clare, –," he began to protest.

"If I don't go with him, things are just going to get uglier. I'll get through a few more hours with him, then I can go to sleep, and then Mom home will come home with me after church tomorrow," she formulated. "And we both have to cover at the Dot tomorrow, so I'll see you there."

Eli took a breath and gave this some thought.

"If you need to get out, call me, Adam, Alli, or your mom or someone, okay?"

"I will, but please don't tell Adam or Alli about this," she said immediately. "Things are crazy and I don't want to drag them into this; I already got you involved."

"Okay," he promised. "Then at least call me or your mom if you need to."

Clare nodded.

"I'm going to go get my bag," she told him before leaving the kitchen.

Clare came back downstairs a minute later with the bag in her hand. She saw Eli and Helen at the bottom of the stairs, talking. Eli didn't have the paper towel anymore since the blood had finally stopped coming out of his nostrils.

"Eli, I'm sorry that –," Helen began.

"It's fine, Mrs. Edwards," he told her.

"No, really, if there's _anything_ –."

"It's fine," he repeated.

Clare got off the stairs and they both turned to her.

"Sweetheart, Eli told me that you wanted to go with your dad," Helen said.

Clare nodded.

"It'll be a lot less trouble if I just go with him. Please don't try to talk me out of it."

Helen rolled her lips.

"Okay," she agreed.

"_Clare_!" they heard her father yell from outside.

She sighed and turned to her mother and boyfriend.

"I should go."

Helen nodded while Eli's face expressed his worry. The three of them walked onto the front steps and saw Randall sitting impatiently in his car, gazing at the road. Clare gave Helen a hug before turning to Eli. Not really caring that her father could turn and face them any minute, he took Clare in his arms and held her with all his strength.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear.

"I love you too."

The sound of a blaring car horn interrupted their moment. They broke apart and saw Randall sneering at them. Not wanting him to get angrier, Clare walked away from Eli and Helen. They kept their eyes on the car until it was out of their sights.

* * *

"_Racing faster_

_Escape disaster_

_Partners in crime will leave their mark"_

_~"Legacy" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

A picture of the picture of them at the carnival (made by my awesome sister) is on my twitter, but it will also be on a Vlog eventually for those who want to wait. Reviews please?


	69. Broken Frames

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks guys for your reviews! And, sushi.23, that is an interesting idea that I never thought of, but everything from this part of the story until the epic-Kate thing is planned out and I, literally, can't change anything without rethinking and re-planning A LOT of stuff and I have so much going on that I can't work around it. However, that idea is AMAZING and I probably would've used it if everything wasn't already in motion! And, Babo, thanks for your words (and, by the sound of it, you are just as random as I am)! As to where I'm going to be over winter break, that is classified information . . . *chills*. Kidding, I'm going to visit some family that live east of me by like a million miles. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Jingle bells, my cat smells, this is Chapter Sixty-Nine. You should see, I don't own Degrassi, and that is just fine!

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Nine

Broken Frames

Clare didn't want to be with Randall right now; in fact, all she desired was to be in Eli's arms while they lied on his bed. That was not an option now unless she wanted Randall to give him another hit in the face and she didn't want to happen to Eli again; she was still shocked, not to mention furious, that her father did that in the first place.

"You didn't have to hit him," she stated.

"If you didn't leave last night –."

"You can't blame me!" she snapped. "I wasn't going to sit there and take it! You guys were saying things about Eli and you don't even know him."

"I saw enough today to conclude to that I was correct."

"What? He stood up for me and he was defending me; how does that make him a bad person?"

"He was disrespectful and rude."

"He was defending me," she repeated. "Disrespectful and rude was the only thing that could get through to you."

"I am done talking about this, Clare."

And Clare was done listening. She stared out of the window of the car and observed the city around her as they drove. If she couldn't be with Eli, at least, in a matter of minutes, she could hide away in her room away from everyone . . .

Only Randall and Clare didn't arrive at home; they were driving on a route that Clare didn't recognize. Although she was unfamiliar with the neighborhood they were in, she knew for a fact that they were traveling through uptown Toronto. Bewildered as to why they were here, Clare turned to her dad.

"Why are we here?" she asked.

Too busy focusing on the road ahead, Randall didn't answer. They drove in silence for another twenty minutes or so when they pulled up in front of a condominium.

"Where are we?" Clare asked after their vehicle was parked.

"You'll see," Randall said, climbing out of the car.

()()

When Clare thought this day couldn't get any worse, it did. She soon discovered that they would be visiting the apartment of . . .

"Clare, the way you acted last night was unacceptable," Alyson informed, her hands folded on the table.

"Look who's talking," Clare glowered, crossing her arms as she stood on her feet and faced that sitting adults.

Alyson shook her head in her disappointment.

"I see you still have the same attitude as you did last night," she observed. "I must say that I am shocked that you're acting this way; your father usually speaks highly of you. I honestly don't know what to say; this wasn't something I expected."

"Why am I here?" Clare then asked her dad.

"Because you know as well as we do that you shouldn't have left like you did, let alone go to Eli's. Why did you even go over there when you know how we feel about him?"

"Because I knew he would be there for me!"

Alyson shook her head.

"Oh, Clare, don't you see that he's –?"

"What?" Clare snapped. "That he's only pretending to care? Well, you're wrong! He cares about me!"

"Whether he does or not, I'm not going to sit back and watch you be with this boy!" Randall stated. "He may have your mother fooled, but not me!"

"He's not trying to fool anyone! You're just choosing to see him in a bad light! And this is my life and I'll be with Eli if I want to!"

"Alright . . ." Alyson sighed. "We're not here to talk about Eli. We're going to discuss your behavior last night. You were rude, inconsiderate, disrespectful, irresponsible, and, frankly, very immature."

"While _you_ were just as rude, hypocritical, and judgmental," Clare reminded.

"You didn't give me a choice."

Clare scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Clare," Randall scolded, noticing her actions.

She didn't respond; she merely stood there and waited for someone else to speak. Alyson was the one who eventually broke the screaming silence.

"There was _no_ excuse for your behavior last night, and you should also learn . . ."

Alyson continued, but every word that escaped her mouth was nothing more than a drone to Clare. She was beyond done hearing what this woman had to say about her, Eli, everything. Alyson's monologue continued for many minutes; she was so deep into it that she didn't even notice that Clare had stopped paying attention. Only when one sentence was spoken did Clare come back to Earth and hear Alyson's voice.

"So, Clare, what do you have to say for yourself?"

()()

"Give me your phone and laptop," Randall told her half an hour later. He and Clare were standing in her room, neither of them particularly happy. What Clare said for herself was, clearly, not what they wanted to hear.

Not wanting to argue anymore, Clare obeyed.

"You can have these back after you think about what you did last night and just now."

"Did you really expect me to apologize to her?"

"I hoped you would," he said, turning off her phone before pocketing it.

Clare couldn't believe that he even considered that possibility.

"I'm not apologizing to her. I went with you guys last night to have a dinner, not to start World War III."

"That's being a bit overdramatic, don't you think?" he questioned.

She couldn't help but notice that he had a tone that was remarkably similar to Alyson's; it was revolting.

"I just can't see how can you criticize Eli when _you_ are the one who is dating someone like _her_?"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," he said.

He turned on his heel and walked towards the room's exit.

"I'm going back to Alyson's and try to sort out the mess from yesterday and today; until I get home, I don't want you leaving this house, using the phone, or leaving your room," he warned her.

"Fine," she said bitterly.

Without another word, Randall left her room and closed the door behind him. Clare rolled her eyes and fell onto her bed, wishing desperately that her father had never met this woman. She didn't care how she acted today or the day before; she was tired of being a target. Infuriated and annoyed, she lied on her bed and stared at the ceiling, hoping that something relatively gratifying would come of this . . . what that something could possibly be, however, was a mystery to her.

By six o'clock, Clare was still alone in the house. She was lying on her bed reading a book that Adam recommended for her when she was startled by a tapping on her window. She put the book on her nightstand before turning towards the locations of the sound. Eli was on the other side of the glass looking fairly concerned. His nose was a bit swollen and he had a small bruise under his left eye, but other than that he seemed fine.

Clare opened her window so she would be able to communicate with him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I tried calling you a hundred times but you never answered; I was starting to get worried about you."

"My dad took away my phone and laptop."

"Oh," he responded. "Is everything alright?"

"Well, Dad took me to Alyson's apartment and we had another dispute, but he actually expected me to apologize to her."

"Did you?"

"No, but my dad is probably going to not be happy with me for a while."

Eli couldn't believe this was happening; this whole scenario was making him sick to his stomach.

"This is ridiculous."

"Tell me about it," Clare agreed. "And you're lucky he's not here because he'll have your skin if he catches you."

"How long has he been gone?"

"An hour and he went to see _her_, so he's not going to be back for a while."

Eli nodded in understanding before looking at her with sorrowful eyes.

"Listen, I wanted to apologize for what happened at my house and for saying all that stuff to your dad especially while you were standing right there."

"It's not your fault," Clare assured him. "You were just trying to help. And I'm glad you said all that stuff to him; that took a lot of guts. Plus it earned you more points with my mom."

"And lost a million with your dad," he added.

"Well, don't beat yourself up about that; only two or three people aren't on his bad list at the moment. How's the nose?" she asked caringly.

"Sore, but I'll live."

"Are you guys going to press charges? If you do, I'll back you up and I'm sure Mom will as well."

"We're going to overlook it since we're all going to be related one day."

"The beauty of nepotism," Clare sighed sarcastically. "Are your parents upset?"

"A bit, but they're more concerned about you."

Clare bit her bottom lip, wishing more and more than she just kept her mouth closed last night and endured all the hurtful comments; if she did that, Eli probably wouldn't be suspending from her window right now.

"Want to come in?" she asked him quietly.

He nodded before Clare helped him into the room. After she closed the window again, she took him within her arms. She loosened her grip on him a few seconds later before she gently put her fingers to the bruise under his eye where Randall struck him. She felt terrible that her father did this and she wished it didn't happen.

"I wouldn't have stayed if I knew he was going to –."

"It's okay," he reassured her.

"Eli, he hurt you," she cried.

"Sweetheart, I'm fine."

"I'm not. He had _no _right to do that."

"Clare, I probably would've done the same thing if I was in his position."

"Don't say that," she ordered. "You'll never be in his position because I know you would _never_ be the way he was last night."

"If our daughter was out with a guy I didn't like –."

"I know you would've listened to her first instead of hitting someone."

She hit the nail on the head with that statement. Eli definitely would've listened to their daughter, especially since he would be able to see through her boyfriend's eyes.

"Okay. But don't be blame yourself for it, alright?"

Rather than answering, she put her lips to the bruise and kissed it softly before moving to his the side of his nose. She was as gentle as she could be so she wouldn't administer more pain on him.

"I'm at least sorry that _this _happened," she said before kissing the bruise one more time.

"It actually isn't as sore now," he informed her with a smirk. He saw her grin; he was glad that she presented a bit of happiness to the world for the first time since that morning in his room.

"Good thing my mom intervened when my dad said we couldn't see each other again," she said, changing the subject. "I was going to continue to see you anyway, but . . . it's nice to have her on our side."

Eli nodded in agreement as she rested her head on his collarbone.

"I really don't want to be here," she complained.

"Do you want to stay at my house again tonight?" he offered. "I can have you home before your dad wakes up so he doesn't realize you left."

"I would, but I don't want to chance it; if we get caught, my dad would beat you to a pulp."

"I don't care. If you want to spend the night again, it's fine."

She shook her head, leaned away from him, and put her hands on his shoulders before rubbing them.

"_I_ care if you get hurt again," she said.

"This isn't about me getting hurt; it's about you _feeling_ hurt."

"Eli, please," she nearly begged. "I don't want to take the chance."

Eli exhaled through his nose before answering.

"If you change your mind, you can call me," he said with bitter acceptance.

Reassured that Eli wasn't going to get injured by the hands of Randall again, Clare lowered her hands as she crossed her arms and looked at the ground.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he permitted.

"Last night you said you were never going to leave me; but . . . my dad isn't your biggest fan and . . . I'm worried that you'll start blaming yourself if he and I grow apart and then . . ." She couldn't continue; the idea of losing Eli because of her father's judgments was unbearable.

Eli pulled her into a hug and ran a comforting hand up and down her spine.

"If I left because of that, you would end up losing two people in your life; you don't deserve to lose anyone and I'm going to be sure you don't ever lose one at least."

"And I'm guessing that one is you?"

"If you want it to be."

"I think you know that I do."

She held onto his torso as he swayed them back in forth. It wasn't long until the teardrops returned to her eyes and fell onto her cheeks.

"Stupid tears," she grumbled, trying to wipe her eyes as Eli held her.

"Let them come."

"I've being doing a lot of crying lately."

"And sometimes that's the best thing to do."

It brought her ease knowing that she didn't have to keep her walls up around Eli. If she needed to release the floodgate of tears or let her guard down, she knew he would be there for her without complaint. She could cry around him and he would never think of her as weak, fragile, or anything similar; he understood that she was simply upset and brokenhearted. Realizing that there would be one guy in her life who would always care for her, she took a breath.

"Eli, what am I going to do about him? I don't want the two of us to have this relationship, but that seems like that's how he's going to be as long as I'm with you."

Eli held on to her, letting her cry for a few minutes before speaking.

"I'll talk to him."

And he didn't mean an argument; he meant a genuine conversation over these issues that could, potentially, be resolved.

"No, you don't have to," she said, understanding what he meant.

"I want to. You get along fine with my parents, your mom and I are on the mend, and I want to try and fix things with your dad. Plus, I don't want him giving you away at our wedding if he's not going to like the guy you're marrying."

"Well, if he doesn't like you by then we could always elope," she suggested with a grin, trying to brighten the situation.

"We'll see," he replied, grinning a bit himself.

She then leaned out of the hug and wiped her eyes.

"So you're never going to leave me?"

"Not for the world."

"_Please_ tell me you mean that," Clare pleaded.

"I do," he promised. "I'm not going to leave you today, not tomorrow, not while I'm in Ottawa, and not when we're married. I'll be with you forever and _ever_, Clare."

Hearing him say that wasn't enough for her like it usually would've been. Words only went so far with her these days; she needed substantial proof that all he was saying was the truth.

She suddenly kissed him furiously on the lips as she wrapped her fingers around the belt-loops of his jeans. She pulled him over to the bed and lied down with him on top of her before she pulled his jacket off him.

She knew he was about to pull away as the jacket fell to the floor, so she wrapped her arms around his chest with all the strength she could muster. She rolled him over so he was lying on the mattress and she was on him.

"Clare," Eli attempted to say once she removed her passionate lips and planted them to his neck.

"Don't speak," she whispered before she sat up beside him. She reached for the hemline of her shirt. Eli saw what she was about to do. Startled, he sat up and enclosed his hands around her wrists.

"I thought we agreed to not do this again until we were married," he recalled.

"I changed my mind," she said as she pulled her wrists out of his hands. She put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him onto his back. Before he could protest again, Clare reached for the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head so there was nothing on her torso except her white bra.

She lied back down on top of Eli and began to kiss him again. She waited for him to do something, but nothing came; he hardly even reciprocated her amorous kisses. She unglued her lips and looked at him.

"What's wrong?" Clare asked.

"You don't want to do this," Eli told her.

"Yes I do. I'm still on the pill so we're safe."

"Clare, you've had a rough few days and you're not thinking clearly."

"I am."

"Then why do you want to do this now?"

"Because I want to _be_ _with_ you," she states breathlessly.

She reached around her back and unclasped her bra. Since her torso was still against his, it didn't fall off or expose anything.

"Please, baby," she pleaded sensually as she kissed the corner of his mouth. "Please."

Before he could respond, she plastered her lips on his and her tongue explored his mouth after she forced it inside. She gradually slid one of her hands down his chest and stomach but she stopped when she reached the button of his jeans. Eli felt her hand traveling down and panicked; she shouldn't be doing this.

"Clare!" he nearly shouted when he finally able to pull his lips away from hers. "Stop this!"

He took the hand that was on his jeans and pulled it up so it was off his person.

"We're _not_ doing this," he told her directly.

"I'm begging you, please."

Feeling immensely guilty, Eli reattached her bra.

"I can't, I'm sorry," he said.

Obviously disappointed, Clare got off Eli and sat on the edge of her bed. Eli sat next to her. He saw the hurt in her eyes as she looked down at her knees.

"It's not personal," he told her gently.

"Then why can't we do this?" she demanded.

"Because you're not acting like yourself," Eli explained. "Everything about that's going on with your dad isn't worth you going back on what we promised."

"This isn't about him," she argued, but Eli saw the tears fill her eyes when he mentioned her father.

"Then why are you changing your mind? And I want the truth."

Clare didn't answer. Instead she cleared away the tear that fell out onto her cheek. Her gaze never left her knees. He soon realized that she wasn't going to respond to the question, so Eli simply picked up her shirt that was still on the bed.

"Whatever this is about, it's not worth doing something you'll regret."

"I'm not going to regret it."

"You might, and I don't want to chance it," he replied as he held the shirt out to her.

She took it back, but she didn't put it back on.

"Do you not want to have sex with me? Is that why you're pushing me away? I'm _that_ terrible at it?"

"Absolutely not," he said taking one of her hands. "And I want to, Clare, I really do, but not when you're like this. Not when you're scared, angry, and upset. My not wanting to do it with you right now isn't about my feelings, just yours. And I don't want to go back on our promise to wait until we're married and I know, deep down, you don't want to either."

Clare looked up at Eli with tears on her face and in her eyes. She let out a sob as she looked away.

"I think I'm going crazy," she confessed as she pulled her shirt back over her head.

"You aren't," he promised as he scooted closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You're just hurting."

"Still, that's not an excuse for jumping down your throat like I did just now. You've been here for me when I needed you, you've talked to my mom, you let me sleep in your bed with you, you defend me today, you take a hit in the face because of me, then you promise me that you'd be with me forever, and I repay you by accusing you of thinking that I'm a bad lover? If that doesn't spell horrible girlfriend I don't know what does."

Eli pulled her into his chest, but she felt so unworthy of him that she didn't wrap her arms around his torso like she usually would have done. Instead she let a few more tears and sobs escape her. She understood now that it was Eli's protest and promise to wait until they were married that proved that he meant everything he said. She knew that he was going to stay with her, and his actions just then affirmed it. She felt awful for thinking that those were nothing more than words a few moments ago.

"You are the best girlfriend I could possibly imagine and you're not horrible by any means," Eli said to her.

He felt her shake her head against his chest cavity.

"It's true," he protested. "Any other person would've let me go a long time ago because of what happened with Kate, but you didn't."

"I almost did," she confessed through her tears. "After you guys kissed, I-I thought about breaking up with you for good because I was scared that you wouldn't be honest and that something like that would happen again. I'm sorry I even considered it."

"I don't blame you. And if you didn't consider it, I'd think you were crazy," Eli reassured her. "But in the end, you took me back. And no one else would've spent half a school year and an entire summer helping me clean out my room."

"After I invaded your privacy and broke into your room in the first place," Clare reminisced.

"I'm glad you did. If you didn't, you probably wouldn't have found out about it for a while. For all we know, I would've kept it hidden from you for this long and you wouldn't have been able to stay last night and that would've caused even more pain for you. And I don't know anyone else who would drive all the way to Kingston after her very stupid boyfriend left."

That earned a small chuckle from Clare, but the tears still continued.

"And that was because I broke your heart, remember?"

"But more good things emerged because of it. We're closer than what we're used to be, we now know we want to get married, and that we want to spend the rest of our lives together."

"That's true," she agreed. "Still, I'm sorry for yelling at you like that."

"I understand; you don't have to apologize," he soothed her. "But for the record, you're an _amazing_ lover."

"Shut up," she said with bashful laugh.

"I mean it," Eli said.

"You're not so bad at it yourself," Clare told him as she leaned out of his arms to wipe some tears off her face. "I love you."

"I love you too," he reciprocated to her before he kissed her temple.

"Okay, so if we can't do _that_, can we do this . . .?"

She put her lips on his before pulling him down so they were both lying on their sides. He put a hand on her hip as she locked her hands behind his neck.

"Now _this_ I have no objection to," Eli murmured against her kiss.

"Good," she replied. "Because I really love this."

"So do I," he said.

They became lost in time. They weren't focusing on the outside world at all. The only thing that mattered was how they were having this heated make-out session in her room. Their lips and tongues battled amorously as their moans and hums filled the room.

"Wait," Eli said abruptly as he pulled away minutes later. "Did you hear that?"

"What?" Clare asked, not hearing a sound.

"I think I heard a noise outside; a car or something."

"I'm sure it was just someone driving by," she reassured before she kissed him again.

"I don't know," he muttered against her lips.

"You're being paranoid."

But he wasn't, for twenty seconds later . . .

"CLARE DIANA EDWARDS!" Randall roared from down the stairs a few seconds later followed by a slamming door. The couple pulled their lips apart, panic-stricken.

"I parked Morty right outside your house," Eli remembered, feeling very stupid that he did so.

They soon heard her father coming up the stairs at a fast pace.

"You have to get out of here," Clare said to him immediately as she led him to the window and opened it. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"What about you?" he asked hurriedly while he climbed out the window before Clare handed him his jacket.

"I'll be fine. Just go," she demanded of him as they heard him coming closer to her room.

She quickly closed the window and pulled the curtains over it.

* * *

"_You won't be leaving any time soon_

_You're sewn into my veins_

_I'm left with all the memories_

_Behind the broken frames"_

_~ "Broken Frames" by Eyes Set to Kill_

* * *

To i3Ben, I would LOVE to do that request, but I, honestly, don't have the time right now to write it. I'm juggling school, family, two multi-chaps, and other stuff and I can't throw another story into the mix right now. If I get time and if I want to work on something new, however, I will definitely write that first. I'm sorry and thank you for the suggestion.

BTW: The picture of them at the carnival is now on my twitter! I forgot to put it up last time (my bad).

Okay guys, finals are coming up and I'm going to be gone for two weeks over Christmas break, so I won't update till next year! I'm hoping that I'll have a lot of stuff and a lot of things set to update when I get back, but I'm not taking my laptop with me so I don't know how fast the new chapters will be up. While I'm gone, read simplecrafter's "Only Human" and "Love Endures All Things" (amazing fics). Reviews please! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanza, Happy New Year, Happy New Year, and/or Happy Holidays!


	70. Believe

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

SURPRISE! I decided to give my amazing readers (AKA, YOU GUYS!) an early Christmas present and give you one more chapter before I leave for my Christmas vacation on Thursday. Unfortunately, this will be the last chapter until I return and type everything up (so expect an update around the 10th of January). I must thank EVERYONE for your BEYOND AMAZING reviews! Seriously, they make my days; even the ones that just say 'good job' or ':)' turn me into a big pile of mush. Okay, I'm just going to shut my mouth now and let you guys read this thing. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . and, when I update this again, I guarantee that I still won't (unless Santa Claus finds me and gives me the rights to it).

* * *

Chapter Seventy

Believe

Eli stepped into the Dot at noon the next day and began looking for Clare immediately. He saw no sign of her and it made him tense. Worried, he began to work his shift, but his mind was somewhere else the entire time; he was constantly looking out the window or at the clock to see how late Clare was and if she was entering.

Half an hour passed and there was still not a single augury that she would be coming in anytime soon. They were both covering for two people today and he knew that she would never be late or let down one of her coworkers. Her absence was beginning to get to Eli. What if she and her father got into a huge fight? Was she in the middle of one with both of her parents right now? Was she just now leaving church? _What_ _was_ _going_ _on_?

Eli took a few breaths after asking himself all these questions. He was behind the counter making a milkshake, trying to shake this feeling of nonstop worry and angst. Peter was by his side grilling a burger a few seconds later.

"How was your weekend, Goldsworthy?" he asked once Eli shut off the blender.

"Overall? Insane," Eli answered as he poured the ice cold beverage into a cup.

"What made is so . . . dude, what happened to you?" Peter asked, just now taking notice of Eli's bruises on his face.

"Nothing," he answered. "When's Clare supposed to come in?"

"Uh . . . if my memory serves me right, she should've come in either an hour earlier or an hour later than you."

Hoping that nothing extreme happened between her and her dad after he escaped her room the night before, Eli wished that she would be in the coffee shop within the next half an hour. Every time he heard the door open, he looked over his shoulder to see if Clare was coming in; to his dismay, it was always another customer.

Finally, at one o'clock, the door opened and Clare stepped inside the building. A big bubble of relief erupted inside of Eli. He was so appeased that he nearly poured too much soda into a cup. Once he served the customer at hand, he observed Clare's face; happiness was absent from all of her features. This bothered Eli greatly; he could tell from her expression that whatever happened last night after he left last night was nothing short of disastrous.

Clare punched in and planned to get working immediately. Before she could, however, Eli came up to her. He embraced her and held her as tight as he could, relief taking control of him. He kept her locked in his arms until the solace settled in his mind.

"I'm so sorry about last night," he said rapidly after she was out of his arms.

"Don't worry," she said, picking up a notepad so she could get ready to get take some of the customers' orders.

"I should've parked Morty down the block or something. I didn't mean to get into more trouble or anything."

"I know you didn't," she replied, walking towards a table.

"I shouldn't have left you there like that," Eli said, following her.

Clare stopped in her tracks and faced him.

"If you didn't, my dad would've killed you or actually broken your face."

"I don't care."

"I do!"

"But, Clare, I –."

"Eli!" Peter called from the counter, interrupting their conversation. "Table five needs some assistance!"

Eli sighed in annoyance.

"I'll talk to you later," he said to Clare before going to the other table.

Every time Eli saw her from that point on, he noticed that she was concentrating on her work more than usual. She didn't speak to him except for the occasional "excuse me" when she slid passed him through the restaurant and she only looked at him every once in a while. He began to get even more worried; they would usually have small conversations as they prepared orders and exchanged smiles from across the room. Today, however, she seemed to be intentionally avoiding him. He wasn't sure if she was giving him the cold shoulder or if she was just distracting herself from what occurred over the weekend by only focusing on her job.

By three thirty, they were able to stop working and go on their break. Eli was back behind the counter putting some dishes in a sink when Clare walked up to him.

"I haven't been ignoring you," she told him directly.

Stunned that Clare figured out that this was exactly what he thought she was doing, he turned his head to her.

"How did you know that –?"

"I know you. Don't worry; I'm not upset with you or anything."

Minutes later, they decided to take advantage of the April sunshine while sitting outside with some sodas and a large burger to split. They were heading towards the exit when Eli decided to ask, "Are you okay?"

Clare sighed before answering him.

"I'm just glad my mom is now home for the week," she stated as she pushed the door open with Eli following behind her.

"What happened after I left?" he asked as they sat at a table.

"He got mad. Really, _really_ mad," she emphasized.

Eli's stomach moiled; he didn't want to Clare to face her dad by herself, especially since he was the one who came over and didn't bother to think through everything.

"What did he say?" he asked guiltily.

Clare exhaled ran her fingers through her hair.

"It was just _a lot_ of repetitive rambling," she explained. "It was the whole 'he's a bad influence on you' and 'it's wrong for you be with him' speech all over again. And he asked if we had sex or not and I told him that we didn't, but then he got on this rant about whether or not you tried anything and I told him you didn't. He didn't believe me after that, so . . . I told him that I . . . threw myself at you and how you stopped me."

The contrition was beginning to suffocate Eli at this point. He never wanted this to happen. He went to her house last night to make her feel better, not make her situation worse. Before he could voice his emotions, Clare continued.

"He told my mom about it as well after church."

"How did that go?" he asked, hoping that her mother wasn't going to be against them again.

"I have no idea," Clare answered. "I left right before he told her. I'm not sure if I'm going to get a complete earful when I get home or if she's going to understand."

She took a slow, shuddering breath.

"I just really don't want them _both_ to be mad at me again. I mean, I can handle it if it's just my dad, but . . ."

Determined to not cry today, Clare looked down, took in another gulp air, and remained silent. Eli knew that saying more would make her break, so he didn't ask her to explain anymore.

"It'll be okay," he consoled her, gently massaging her shoulder with his hand. He then slid the plate with the burger towards her, allowing her to have the first bite of it. The corners of her lips turned up at his benevolence before she turned her head to him.

"Still not going anywhere?" she asked with a subtle hopefulness.

He moved his hand over hers as he gave her a tiny, reassuring smile.

"Only if I take you with me," he promised.

()()

The bruise on Eli's face was still apparent the next day. It was no longer sore, thus it didn't bother him too much. He picked up Clare that morning and she told him about what happened at her house the night before. They both expect that some incident was going to happen between her and her mother and possibly her father about Saturday night.

"Well . . . my dad told her everything," she informed him as she climbed into the hearse. "They were both here when I got home yesterday."

"How did she take it?" he asked, hoping he wasn't back on Helen's bad list.

"Surprisingly, she's not upset about any of it."

"Seriously?" he said, not believing it as they began taking their route to Degrassi.

"Seriously," Clare restated. "I swear, you can do _nothing_ wrong by her now. I actually think she likes you more than my dad."

"Why do you say that?"

"She said that if Dad wasn't such a control freak and such a . . . well . . . insert crude name here, you wouldn't have felt like you needed to come over to be sure I was okay."

"Whoa," Eli commented, shocked that Mrs. Edwards would actually say this. "And what did she say about you . . .?"

"Well, she said that I'd better not do it again, but she kind of understands why I did it and she's glad that you stopped us from going further. She said that you must love me very much to put a stop to it."

Eli was nothing short of amazed. First Helen Edwards was fine with Clare staying the night at his house, she was alright that he snuck to Clare's room, and now she clearly saw that he loved Clare? He had no idea that the one conversation they had improved her opinion on him to this great of an extent.

"What happened after that?"

"My dad said the same bull crap stuff he told me Saturday night. Then he and Mom got into an argument that ended up with him storming out of the house and I haven't heard from him since."

They pulled into Degrassi and climbed out of the hearse. Eli took her hand as they walked towards the school.

"Are you okay?" he asked her comfortingly.

Clare shrugged.

"It could be worse," she said. "But I know that my dad's going to tell Alyson and that's going to add to my track record with her. And that means that I'll probably be in deeper water with her next time I see her."

"Just don't pay attention to her," he advised. "She's not worth your time."

"Yeah, but she's a part of my dad's life so I have to see her and talk to her."

"Then don't let what she says get to you."

"I'll try, I really will. But I can't have a repeat of what happened on Friday, so what should I do if she pushes me over the edge?"

"Then you call your friendly neighborhood Spiderman."

He squeezed her hand in comfort before they opened their lockers. She grinned at his consideration, but she felt guilt set in when she saw his injuries again.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this."

"It's fine."

"And thanks again. You know, for everything."

"No problem," he said. "And hopefully things with your dad will settle down and everything with you two will get better once I talk to him."

Clare wasn't sure what surprised her more: that Eli was still going to follow through with what he said and talk to Randall or that he still had the guts to do it.

"Have you lost your mind?" she vociferated. "He knows you snuck over to my house; if he sees you, he'll go berserk."

"That's why I'm going to let him calm down a bit; and that gives me more time to think about what I could say to him."

"You know you really don't have to. I'll be fine and he and I will get better eventually."

"Eventually could be a long time, Clare."

"I'll deal."

"Do you not want me to talk to him _that_ badly?"

"I just don't want you two to get into a fight again. And you've done enough for me."

Eli simply kissed her head as he gave her a small, one-armed hug.

"I'll decide when I've done enough for you."

As his arm left her, she closed her locker, leaned against it, and sighed. She didn't want any more harsh words flying around or any punches to be thrown. She and her father would get better somehow without Eli's help, but who knew how long that could take? Knowing that Eli wasn't going to back down from this, she realized that attempting to change his mind was not going to do any good.

"Be careful if you do, okay?" she requested of him.

"_When_ I do, I'll be careful," he promised.

"Hey guys," Adam then greeted, now joining the couple. He did a slight double back when he saw Eli's face. "What happened to you?"

Remembering that Clare asked him a few days ago to not mention any of the weekend's altercations to Alli or Adam, Eli answered his question.

"It's a long story."

Adam knew Eli well enough by now to know that when he usually said "long story" it usually translated into "I can't tell you" or "I don't want to talk about it". He wasn't quite sure which one it was, but he saw that this wasn't the time to pry and therefore he didn't press the subject further.

"Okay," Adam accepted before steering the conversation into a different direction. "So . . . who's ready for next Wednesday?"

"Next Wednesday?" Clare repeated, drawing a blank.

"Yeah," Adam replied. "Remember, that's opening night of the play?"

Then Clare recalled that the premiere of _Feudal __Romance _was in a matter of ten days. She had been so distracted by the drama that occurred over the weekend that she completely forgot that the 2nd of May was next Wednesday.

"Someone's been thinking about me too much again," Eli teased. Clare knew that was saying this so Adam wouldn't catch on that something was plaguing her.

"Maybe you should get out of my head," she jested back.

"Does it ever end with you two?" Adam chuckled.

"Nope," Eli proclaimed, closing his locker and wrapping his arm around Clare's shoulders.

"Didn't think so."

"You should really know that by now."

"Whatever. Just don't forget that we're meeting after school today to get everything wrapped up on the play," Adam reminded.

"Noted," Eli said.

"Well, I don't wanna be caught up in this love fest, so I'm gonna get going."

"Don't let us scare you away."

"You've already exposed me to your mushiness," he kidded as he headed down the hall. "Besides, Hannigan wants to see me about some director duties."

"Director duties," Eli chortled.

"Real mature," Adam retorted kiddingly before turning a corner.

Clare smiled and turned to Eli once she was certain that Adam was out of earshot.

"Thank you," she said.

"Stop thanking me so much," he instructed her.

"Not when you deserve it," she refused.

She gently put her arms around him and kissed him, not bothering to check to see if any teachers could be watching. Right now, she could honestly care less if she got detention for kissing her wonderful, helpful boyfriend.

()()

The school day provided distractions for Clare all day; for the first time in days, she didn't have Alyson or Randall popping up in her mind every ten seconds. Never in her life had she been so happy to learn about photons in her Chemistry class.

Despite the hours of being in her classrooms, Clare was always thrown back into the real world whenever she wasn't working on something. Every time she was not focusing on academics, she began wondering if she and Randall were ever going to be able to stabilize their relationship. These last few days had been nothing short of hectic and she knew that he was still disappointed in her for losing her virginity to Eli and planning to get married to him.

Clare began to see that she would never be able to fix singlehandedly unless she and Eli broke up and that was the last thing she wanted. Maybe Eli talking to Randall was the only way for everything to calm down and, eventually, improve.

Eli noticed that Clare seemed depressed at times and, whenever it was just the two of them, he would give her comfort by kissing her, hugging her, or simply taking her hand. Every time he did, Clare smiled a little, pleased to know that he would always be there to give her unconditional love and support. It was amazing that he knew what she needed and she never had to tell him that she needed him to hold her; he always sensed it and then acted on his instincts.

Eli's affection and schoolwork got her through the rest of her day. Since the opening night of _Feudal __Romance _was drawing extremely close, the students were now staying after school every weekday except for Thursday and Friday. Clare and Eli were watching the play progress in the auditorium with Adam as they began their first day of dress rehearsal. Every last prop, costume, and set was in place, so most of the crew sat back and watched the cast perform. Hannigan became backseat director and made a few suggestions and she and Adam arbitrated until they were both satisfied. They asked to the writers' opinions at times and, in the end, everyone was happy as far as the performance was concerned.

Rehearsal stopped at five o'clock and that was when all the students started gathering their belongings. Clare picked her bag off the chair she sat on when rehearsal started. She put it on her shoulder and saw Eli doing the same as he stood next to her.

"So, prom is in a month," Eli mentioned as they turned to face each other.

"Yes," she replied. "And are you planning on going?"

"Only if you will come with me," he negotiated while he slid her hands around her waist.

"Oh, I would but I was planning on going with my future husband," she said.

"Are you sure you really want to go with him? I heard he's a bit weird," he played along.

"He's not _that_ weird," Clare grinned as she held his torso. "And yes, I really want to go with him."

"Fine," he sighed in mock defeat. "But if he bails or if you change your mind, will you consider going with me?"

Wanting the charade to stop, Clare playfully rolled her eyes and kissed him.

"I'll think about it."

"Deal," he accepted before kissing her cheek and then releasing her.

They picked up their bags and turned around and saw Adam standing there.

"Why can't you guys be like every other couple and say 'hey babe, wanna go to prom?' 'Sure, if you want', the end," Adam said kiddingly. He purposely made his voice go extremely low at one quotation and extremely high at another to add effect.

"We wouldn't be as awesome if we did that," Eli said as though it was obvious.

Adam revolved his eyes in their sockets before the three of them walked down the aisles to exit the auditorium. The trio stepped through the halls of Degrassi as they prepared to exit.

"Speaking of prom, do you guys know any single girls who would want to go?" Adam asked.

"Looking for a date?" Eli guessed.

"Yeah," he answered. "And everyone I've thought of asking has either gotten a date already or isn't going."

"Did you ask that one girl from that one party months ago? The one who said she liked you? Um . . . Kelsey or something like that?"

"I asked her, but she told me that she's dating someone."

"That sucks."

"Well, I never felt anything for her. And I knew things were going to change; it's been seven months since that party after all. Any other suggestions?"

Eli and Clare thought the possibilities (or lack thereof) in their heads. They could hardly think of anyone at Degrassi or was remotely interested in going to prom, let alone going as someone's date.

"Kate?" Eli said, knowing there was no way that would happen.

"Are you nuts?" Adam asked.

"It was the first available person who came to my head," he defended himself.

"Going to prom with Clare's nemesis?" Adam contemplated sarcastically. "I'd rather take my cousin."

"That makes two of us," Clare piped in, the idea of Kate and Adam dancing at prom giving her the desire to vomit.

"Then I have no clue who else you can take."

"Well," Clare began. She stepped in between Adam and Eli and wrapped her arms around each of their shoulders. "If Eli doesn't mind, I wouldn't mind being both of your dates."

"But I dance with you on all slow songs," Eli called immediately.

"Alright," she acceded. "What do you say, Adam?"

"I don't think so," he answered.

"Why not?" asked Clare.

"Clare, you know I love you," Adam stated, "but you're like my sister. It would be too weird."

"Fine," she abided, wishing there was someone out there who she knew who would probably go with him . . .

Then it came to her. She couldn't believe she didn't think of it sooner.

"I got it!" Clare exclaimed. "What about Alli?"

"Alli?" Adam repeated, clearly considering the idea.

"It's perfect. You don't have a date and I'm sure she would rather go to the prom here than the one at her school."

"Okay, brilliant idea, but there's one tiny detail you're forgetting here," Eli mentioned.

"What's that?"

"She and his brother dated. That could be a bit weird."

"Will it?" she asked him.

Adam shrugged.

"She's nice and Drew's away at Western. And she and I get along fine when we do see each other."

"And it's one date," Clare said. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Well . . ." Adam began.

"It was a rhetorical question."

"Okay bro," Eli chimed in. "I don't want you to be alone at your senior prom, so you either take Alli or you go with your sister-like friend here."

They were silent as they exited the school, Adam thinking all the while.

"If it's cool with her, it's cool with me," he said as they stepped into the parking lot.

"I'll call her and ask," Clare said. "I'm sure she'll gladly go with you."

"If you say so, Master Edwards," Adam said as he headed towards his car. "I'll see you guys later."

"See ya," Eli and Clare bade in unison. She then took his head as they walked towards Morty.

"This is great. We're going to prom together and Adam's probably going with Alli," Clare stated. "I get to see my three best friends in one place at the same time."

They arrived at the hearse and stood by it when Clare faced him.

"You know how I had to postpone that date because of the dinner with my dad and Alyson?"

"Yes."

"Are we still going to make up of it Friday?"

"Do you want to?"

Clare gave him a smile before kissing his lips chastely as she put her hands on his chest.

"I think a nice, peaceful romantic evening with you is just what I need."

"In that case, I'll be sure to make it really special."

"The romantic dinner idea you had before will be just perfect," she assured him.

Eli also wished to spend a night such as that with Clare, but he wanted to make it special for her . . . and he also wanted to take care of a small matter of business beforehand . . .

* * *

"_I picked up the pieces_

_And put them back where they belonged_

_But something's missing_

_But a part of me will carry on"_

_~"Believe" by Orianthi_

* * *

I know: I'm a mean one, Mister Grinch. I mean, I'm now really leaving you guys with a cliffhanger for two weeks (maybe even more). Remember, Adam is a senior in this fic and, since I didn't consider this when I started writing this, let's assume Drew is in college already. A special shout-out to StygianShadows13 for the sweet review! And, to Babo, you remind me of my best friend so much that it isn't even funny (speaking of which, you guys check out GrippoMustaine1996). And thanks Ryuno chu for all the reviews you've submitted. While I'm gone, I recommend you read the fic "Secrets" by NickieInfinity and all stories by simplecrafter! Bye everyone! See you next year! I love you guys!

BTW: If you have an account on here, please vote on the poll on my profile (it's related to this story).


	71. That's What You Get

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I'm obviously back home and I'm ready to get back into routine after two weeks of insane awesomeness! How were your holidays? Thanks for your reviews! Thank you everyone who voted on the poll (if you haven't vote yet, please do if you can)! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I Degrassi own don't. Wait . . . own I don't Degrassi? GRR! I've been MIA so long that I forgot how this disclaimer thing is supposed to go :P

* * *

Chapter Seventy-One

That's What You Get

Eli's palms were sweating as he walked to the condo the following night. He nervously knocked on the door and waited patiently, yet anxiously, for someone to open it. A few seconds later, the face of Randall Edwards was revealed; his face melted into a sneer composed of antipathy and hatred.

"What is it?" he snarled, surprised that this boy had the nerve to show his face at his door.

"Mr. Edwards," he replied. "Sir, may I talk about a few things?"

"Why should I?" he asked coldly, crossing his arms.

"I would like us to try and clear the air."

Eli realized his chances of being permitted to come in and discuss matters with Mr. Edwards were unbearably slim; he probably had a better chance of getting into Harvard than being able to have this discourse. If he wasn't so determined to be on good terms with this man, he would've accepted that he would not be victorious without even trying; but Randall was the father of the one he was going to marry someday, so he was going to do whatever it took to make this right.

Randall was just as steadfast, but for the opposite reasons. He did not wish to see this hooligan at his door.

"Kid, I don't like it when someone disrespects me and makes a fool out of me in front of my daughter and ex-wife."

"That was never my intention –."

"I don't care. It happened."

The battle had started. One way or another, Eli was going to talk; he had been configuring the words ever since he promised Clare that he would converse with her father. If only Randall would open the door to his ears and heart to hear them.

"Please let me explain why I did what I did and said what I said. I won't take more but a few minutes of your time."

He was not giving up and Randall could sense it. It was clear that talking to Eli was the only way to get him to leave. Although he was reluctant, Mr. Edwards let Eli inside the apartment. Eli stepped through the doorframe, not knowing what to expect now. The nerves began to chase each other around the insides of his stomach until nausea began to swirl. He rubbed his hands together until the perspiration was gone. This was it . . .

"Sit," the man bitterly obliged.

Eli obeyed; he took a seat on the armchair. Randall, however, continued standing. He crossed his arms and glared at Eli, attempting to give himself a more dominant aura over him. Eli was starting to get nervous, but he couldn't – and wouldn't – turn back.

It was astonishing that not even four days ago, Eli sat on this exact seat when he informed Mrs. Edwards as to why Clare had left Little Miss Steaks. Now he was here to have long, deep discussion with her father . . . unless things turned disastrous and it became a feud of shouts and harsh words.

Randall's eyes bore into Eli's body. He could feel the teenager's will to not surrender, yet he could smell his fear. He did not want him in his apartment much longer. He hoped that with a bit more intimidation, Eli would change his mind and flee. If this plot succeeded, two things would come from it that would benefit Randall: one, it would prove that he was right and that he did not deserve to be with Clare; two, it would get this boy out of his home.

Before Eli could begin to explain a thing, he put his plan into action:

"Don't try to deny that you snuck into Clare's room a few nights ago. I saw your car, I heard your voice, and I'm not stupid."

"I know you're not," Eli said. "I was just worried about her."

"What does she have to be worried about?"

"I wanted to be sure that she wasn't more upset than she already was."

"Do you think that I'll do something to make that happen?" he demanded.

"No. I mean . . . I hoped you wouldn't."

"Are you saying I did?"

"She told me that you took her to Alyson's; after what happened there, I'm not surprised that she was upset."

"She had to apologize."

"For what?" Eli scoffed. "For being who she really is? For standing up for me as well as herself? None of this would've happened if Alyson didn't take things too far!"

"Alyson just wanted to get to know Clare!"

"And that soon became everyone trying to tell Clare that I'm not the right guy for her!"

"You're not!" Randall spat bluntly.

"But at least she's happy!"

"Clare acted out of line!" he said, steering back to the original conversation.

"So did you when you told Alyson that Clare and I are getting married when you knew it would start something!"

"Don't blame me for this!"

"It isn't Clare's fault though!"

A silence full of animosity rang through the room. Eli had not even been there for five minutes and he was already close to the edge. Seeing that this was not going to help the situation, he took a breath to calm down.

"I'm not here to fight with you; I am here to get everything straightened out."

"There's nothing to straighten out."

"I disagree. You see, Clare is scared that you two are going to grow apart because you don't approve of me dating her."

Randall didn't respond to this. Eli wasn't sure if he was simply surprised or if it was deliberate. Either way, he wasn't speaking, thus Eli decided to go with a different approach . . . a more direct one.

"Am I causing you to be a certain way towards Clare?" he said without exactly thinking out his words.

Silence reentered the apartment. Eli wasn't going to move or speak until his question was answered. Randall turned around and took a seat on the couch. He brushed his hands together and looked down while he thought of how to respond; it didn't take too much time for the words to start clicking together in his head. He turned to Eli and the words began to come out of his mouth.

"You turned her against me," he said bluntly.

"That's not true," Eli protested. "She's just –."

"You changed Clare."

"What do you mean?"

"She's not the same as she was months ago."

"I'm sure that's just because she's getting older."

"You're not seeing the point here," Randall snapped at him. "Clare never acted like that before. Only since you two started dating did she decide to have sex, disobey her parents, and run away like that. She wouldn't be like this if you weren't around."

_You don't know that_, is what Eli wanted to say. But he knew that this wasn't the time to start a feud, thus he held his tongue until he found the appropriate response.

"I never meant to do that and, if I did, I sincerely apologize."

"And I'm not sure if you're the person I want my daughter to spend the rest of her life with."

Eli kept his temper, but it wasn't easy. He counted to ten in his head and breathed before continuing.

"If you're going to ask me to break up with Clare, I can't and I won't. I promised her that I wouldn't leave her and I don't want to. I care about her too much. I just don't want the two of you to grow apart on my account."

"She can't have it both ways."

"She can," Eli retorted. "We just have it sort this out."

When Randall remained apprehensive, Eli made one last attempt.

"Let's just give this one try. If we don't resolve anything, I'll . . . talk to Clare about what's more important: her relationship with you or being with me."

Randall considered this idea, accepted that it was the only way to allow his daughter to be happy and, potentially, get Eli away from his home.

"What gave you the right to have sex with her when you knew she was waiting until marriage?" were the only words he said at first.

Eli expected this. He recalled how Clare's mother confronted him like this nearly two months ago and now it was time to do it with her father.

"We both wanted to do it," he said directly. "Never in a million years would I have asked her to give up her virginity before she was married."

"Then why did she consider it in the first place?"

"I guess . . . she began thinking about it when she found out my ex-girlfriend and I . . . had sex."

"Oh really?"

"I didn't know who Clare was at this time," Eli mentioned. "But after I found out she was waiting, I didn't try to make her change her mind."

"Were you disappointed?" Randall asked.

Eli didn't know where this would go, but he knew that lying was going to do more bad than good. Besides, if he wasn't honest now, Mr. Edwards would never see him in a good light.

"Yes, but I got over it and I told Clare that I didn't mind not having sex with her."

"And were you disappointed after you didn't have sex with her a few nights ago?" Randall pressed, trying to find something to prove his theory of how wrong Eli was for his little girl.

"Why would I be disappointed?" Eli asked rhetorically. "She was crying and not in her right frame of mind; I was worried that I hurt her feelings when I pushed her away, not because I wouldn't sleep with her."

"Why didn't you stop her that one night when you knew she was supposed to be waiting?" he demanded, still hoping to find a flaw that would lead to Eli's downfall.

Once again, Eli was reminded of his and Helen's conversation. He hoped that he wouldn't have to have this conversation anymore after this; it always made him feel judged and guilt ridden.

"We both agreed to do it. But I said if Clare was uncomfortable or didn't want us to continue, I wouldn't have force her to go further; I wouldn't have done it if she wasn't sure about it."

"Don't try and put this all this on Clare," Randall forewarned.

"I'm not," Eli said quickly, not wanting it to go that way. "We both did it _together_, so it is both our faults we hurt you and Mrs. Edwards."

"Now answer this: she's young, she's going to college in a bit more than a year, and she can do anything she sets her mind to. Why do you want to mess that up for her by asking her to marry you at a young age?"

"I asked her to marry me at a young age, but I'll wait for her for as long she wants us to before we actually go through with it."

"She was sixteen when you asked. Don't you think that's a bit naïve?"

"If we were actually engaged, yes, but this is just our plan; we both know we're not ready for marriage yet, so we're not jumping right into it until we are and everything is figured out."

"And how exactly are you two thinking this is going to work?"

"We plan on going to university and I'll find a job since I'll be done a year before her; I'll be saving up money for us to buy a house or rent a decent apartment. A year after that, she'll graduate, she'll begin working and we'll start planning the wedding. One year afterwards, we go through with it and then we begin our lives together."

"And what if Clare decides that she wants to move to the States or somewhere?"

"If she wants me to, I'll go with her."

Randall wanted to be certain that Eli was serious about marriage, being with Clare for the rest of his life, and everything that came with that. He didn't want his daughter to marry someone who was going to run away from responsibility or commitment.

"Clare told me that you two are going to wait six years."

"That's what we're planning on, but that might change if one of us plans to study at university longer."

"She also said you two were going to wait until you're married to have sex again."

"We are."

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course," he answered. "I'm not a sex maniac or anything."

"And you're not going to go sneaking away with other girls while you're in college?"

"I wouldn't even dream of it."

"If you are, it would be the perfect opportunity. You'll be in Ottawa and Clare will be here."

"I won't do anything like that."

He still wasn't sure if Eli was completely trustworthy or not and he didn't want Clare to be betrayed.

"But how do I know you aren't lying and that you are going end up cheating on her?"

Eli knew how to prove this, but he also understood that his head could be put on the chopping block if he did . . . but it was a risk he was willing to take . . .

He then proceeded to tell Randall what happened when he and Kate kissed. He started at the beginning from when he and Kate were kids in grade one and how close they were. When he revealed the promise the two of them made to get married, Randall didn't say anything; he understood that they were six-year-olds at the time and it wasn't genuine at all. Eli then disclosed how he didn't believe Clare or Adam when they warned him that Kate had feelings for him. He explained how he didn't believe them and how everything seemed to gradually get better before Christmas break.

He then came to the scene when Kate kissed him; he was terrified to see Randall's expression, but he knew that this was the only way to prove that he, Eli, really did want to stay committed to Clare.

". . . After she told me she was going to ask this guy out . . . she kissed me . . . and I just stood there."

"Why?" Randall snapped, his dislike for Eli returning at the speed of a bullet.

"I was stupid and shocked . . . but then . . ."

He continued to how Kate kissed him again and how Clare saw them. He explained the next few days and how Clare and him were on a break afterwards. By the time he was done, Randall was still highly displeased with the fact that he and this girl kissed twice while he and Clare were together.

"You are very lucky Clare took you back."

"I know, and that was a complete accident and it is something I still regret; if I feel _this_ bad about it when I never wanted it to happen, I know I couldn't live with myself if I did it on purpose."

Randall saw the sincerity in Eli's eyes and his enmity with him decreased. He was not completely satisfied yet, however. Still so many doubts and apprehensions continued to come into his head.

"Did you know that Clare could've been pregnant?"

Another issue, another colloquy . . . and Eli was prepared.

"She told me she suspected something."

"What would you have done if she was?"

"It would've been my responsibility as much as Clare's; I was never going to leave her alone with our child."

"Are you just saying this to get you on my good side again?" Randall asked, hoping that this wasn't an act.

"No, I mean every word of it. I told Clare the same thing when she told me she could've been pregnant and I still mean that."

Randall sat there and stared into space, thinking. Eli sat there, wondering what the man before him could be pondering. Was he formulating more problems? Was he finally seeing how much Eli loved Clare? Was the situation about to get better or worse? He was about to find out two minutes later, for Randall turned back to Eli and spoke.

"I don't want to see my little girl get hurt."

"I promise I'll never do _anything_ to hurt her."

"So many guys say that to girls, but they end up hurting them anyway."

"Mr. Edwards, if I didn't mean it, I wouldn't say it," Eli stated. "I'm not going to be like her last boyfriend and leave her for some other girl or for some other reason."

Randall wasn't done there although his judgment of Eli starting to turn.

"Clare is very special to me. She's my youngest daughter and . . ."

"She's growing up too fast?" Eli deduced.

Randall nodded.

"How did you guess?"

"I read and write more than dark stories."

He couldn't tell if it was his imagination or a trick of the light, but Eli could've sworn he saw Randall's lips perk into a small smile for a second. The final era of silence of that day made its final appearance. Not a word was uttered until Randall made his final statement as to his opinion on Eli.

"If you care about Clare as much as you say, I'd better not hear that you hurt her in any way, break up with her, or anything."

"I was never going to," Eli promised, his heart knocking on his chest as he became aware of what Randall was saying.

"If you promise her that you're getting married now, you better not back out of it _ever_."

"I won't."

"And if she wants to do something that could benefit her dreams coming true and makes her happy –."

"I won't hold her back and I'll support her a hundred percent."

Randall took a breath.

"Coming up here to talk about this really does show me that you really do care about her. If you really do mean everything you're saying and if Clare's happy . . . I guess I should accept that and be grateful that she's going to spend the rest of her life with someone who really loves her."

A smile of the highest appreciation came to Eli's lips. Finally, everything was smoothing over and the impossible goal had been reached.

"Thank you. And, about me shouting at you a few days ago, I never meant any disrespect or anything," he began, knowing it was time to take up for that. "I was just looking out for Clare."

"I understand," Randall replied. "And . . . looking back, I also owe you an apology for saying all that stuff to Alyson, punching you, and everything else."

"It's alright."

"No, it wasn't. I shouldn't have let my prejudice influence her judgment of you; she hasn't met you, so I can't decide her opinions for her."

Eli did not have any idea what to say therefore he gave his head a nod as if to say "thank you".

"So . . . are we okay now?" he asked.

Randall exhaled through his nose.

"I suppose," he accepted affirmed.

"I'm glad we got this sorted out," Eli said standing up and Randall following suit.

"Me too," Randall agreed.

The men then shook hands and exchanged grins. The battle was finished.

()()

Clare sat on her bed and waited for her phone to ring; she was enduring the never ending wait and it was torture. Were Eli and her father on good terms? Did they now despise each other? Was Randall now going to support their relationship or do everything in his power to destroy it? All the uncertainty and unanswered questions made her distressed.

She didn't know who was going to call or when or what they could possibly say, but she was getting so anxious that she had half a mind to pick up her phone and contact one of them. Just as this thought crossed her mind at ten o'clock, Eli's ringtone started playing on her phone. She quickly grabbed the phone off her bedside table, accepted the call, and put the device to her ear.

"How did it go?" she asked immediately.

"Eager, I see," Eli noted.

"Eli, please just tell me," she said, wanting to rid herself of this feeling.

"We had a nice chat."

Clare was unsure whether Eli was being sarcastic or not and it make her feel any better.

"What do you mean by 'nice chat'?"

"I mean that I went to his apartment, he let me in, we sat down and talked, and everything is better with us."

Eli proceeded to explain what had occurred between him and Randall. By the end of it, Clare was amazed; Eli stood tall and got through to her dad.

"Are you a wizard or something?" she said in disbelief.

"I don't know. Everyone does seem to fall under my spell, don't they?" he said kiddingly. "You most of all."

"Shut up," she chortled. "But, however you did it, I'm glad that you and Dad are okay. I mean, I don't know too many guys who would do that."

"I guess it depends on how much the guy loves his girl," he answered.

"I'm hoping that this means you love me very much?"

"No. I love you very, very, very, _very_ much."

Clare grinned at his words.

"You're the sweetest boyfriend ever."

"Yeah, I get that a lot," he said in his usual, playful cocky manner. He heard Clare laugh on the other line before she continued.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow?" she asked.

"Or I can gladly give you a ride," he offered.

"I like that better," she agreed.

"So do I. And don't forget our romantic dinner on Friday."

"I can't wait."

"Me neither," he replied. "I promise that you're going to love it."

"I don't doubt you for a minute."

"Well, we're only a few days away from that."

"Then maybe we should get some sleep so it could get here faster," Clare suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Eli agreed. "And that means I can dream about you when I fall asleep."

Clare giggled a bit.

"I love you. And thanks," she added, referring to what he did about his and her dad's feud.

"Okay, you have seriously got to stop saying 'thank you' for every little thing I do."

"Fine, I'll stop when it comes to the little things, but not the big things like this."

Eli rolled his eyes.

"Love you too. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she replied before hanging up her phone. Thanking God that everything with Eli's relationship with _both_ her parents was going smoothly again, she got changed into her pajamas and fell into a peaceful sleep that she had not had in four nights.

* * *

"_No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore_

_It's your turn_

_So take a seat we're settling the final score_

_And why do we like to hurt so much?"_

_~"That's What You Get" by Paramore_

* * *

Good way to start off 2012, right? When does Degrassi start back up in the US? I've changed my mind (_again_) and I decided that I'll suck it up and watch it even though my favorite ship of all time is dead (sad). Anyway, they're still together in my head, so screw everything else. Reviews!


	72. My Heart Will Go On

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the reviews everyone! And, for those readers who have read or want to read my other fic, "You'll Be In My Heart", the next chapter is finally up! This chapter is for all the die-hard EClare shippers! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: It's opposite day! I own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Two

My Heart Will Go On

Eli had been living in ecstasy ever since his talk with Clare's dad. At last, everything with their families was back in harmony; sure, Alyson still wasn't pleased with Clare's decisions and disapproved of Eli, but he wasn't concerned about her. Clare was happy, her parents were happy, and he was happy and that's all the mattered to him now.

Friday night came at the end of a decent week and that meant that Eli and Clare's long-awaited date had arrived. The second he dropped Clare off at her house after school, he began preparing for the evening to make it as romantic as possible. Adam gave him some assistance to make the setting magnificent; thanks to his extra pair of hands, the scene was set in no time. It was nothing short of perfect and breathtaking in Eli's eyes, but he wanted to know Clare's opinion. By a quarter to six, everything was ready, Adam abandoned the area when knew that his job was done, and Eli left to pick up Clare.

He took the usual route to her house and he had arrived minutes later. Excited that he and Clare were going to have their first real date in weeks, he went up to the front door, knocked on it, and waited for it to be opened. Mrs. Edwards opened the door and gave him a welcoming grin.

"Hi, Eli. Clare!" she then called over her shoulder. "Eli's here!"

"Be right down!" Clare replied from upstairs.

"Come in," Helen allowed, stepping to the side to let him in the house.

The two of them stood in the house, silence ringing around them for a second.

"How are you?" he asked in an effort to start a conversation.

"I'm fine, thank you," she answered. "What about you?"

"Pretty good," he admitted.

Silence came for a minute, but Helen decided to break it this time around.

"Clare told me you talked to her dad. I must say that it was very sweet of you to do."

Eli was flattered, but he had no idea what to say in response to that.

"Thank you," was what he ended up saying, but he said in a low voice.

"It was very kind."

"I'm just glad that he and I are doing alright now."

"Clare is as well; all week she's been smiling."

"I've noticed," Eli agreed, remembering how Clare had been in a brighter mood than she was in compared to the week before.

"Now, I'll admit that I'm not overly thrilled about her planning so much with her life before she's even out of high school, but at least she's with someone who cares about her and makes her happy."

"Okay Mom, I think you've made him feel awkward enough," Clare's voice then said as she descended the stairs. She was wearing a pair of dark-washed jeans, a black long-sleeved shirt that went halfway down her arms, three bronze bangles on each wrist, and the necklace Eli had given her for her birthday a nearly month ago.

"Alright, sorry. Mom moment," Helen then chuckled as Clare joined her and Eli.

"Ready to go?" she asked him.

"If you are," Eli answered.

"Alright then," she answered while they walked towards the exit.

"I'll have her back by ten," he promised her mother as they stepped outside.

"Okay," Helen said. "You two have fun."

"Bye, Mom," Clare said before she closed the door. Eli then took her hand and the two of them made their way towards Morty.

"You look really nice tonight," he told her. Although the sky was darkening, he could still see her blushing slightly.

"So do you," she answered, noticing his black skinny jeans and the blazer he was wearing with a matching shirt.

Eli opened the passenger side door and she smiled before climbing inside the car. He closed the door before walking to his side, a grin on his face showing and it never faded for a second as they began to drive.

"So . . . where exactly are we going?" Clare asked.

"You'll find out soon enough," he eased her; he smiled at her curiosity.

They drove for a few more minutes as dusk began to arrive. The sun was disappearing when Eli realized they were almost there.

"Close your eyes," he instructed, wanting to keep everything a surprise.

"Why?"

"Trust me."

Clare complied and shut her eyes. She now had no idea where he was taking her and it was making her more excited than ever. She felt the car move under her body, but she did not receive any clue as to where it was taking them. After what must've been five minutes of observing nothing but the inside of her eyelids, she felt Morty shake and stop, signaling that Eli had turned off the engine.

"Keep them closed. No peeking," he warned her before he climbed out of the hearse. Clare blindly unfastened her seatbelt when she heard Eli open her door and it wasn't long until her took her hand to guide her into the outside world. As soon as she had both feet on the ground, he placed one of his hands over her eyes while he looped his arm around her waist so he could steer her towards their destination. He was moving at a moderate speed to make sure she wouldn't trip or stumble.

"Are we at our special place?" she asked, guessing from the crunching sound leaves were making under her feet as she stepped on them.

"You'll see," was the only answer he gave her. Yes, there were at that very location, but it did not look like how it did on a regular basis.

It was kind of scary, walking blind in the woods, but Clare felt safe considering Eli was holding her the whole time. He made sure they walked a path that was free of obstacles that could cause her to trip or get hurt. Without any error or incident, the couple arrived at the area Eli had set up for this night.

"Alright, Clare, we're here," he said as he felt her eyelashes tickle his hand.

"Does that mean I can look?" she asked with an impatient eagerness.

"Okay," he said, removing his arms from her. "Open your eyes."

Clare lifted her eyelids and saw that they were, indeed, at the abandoned church, but it had been converted. The lights were glowing all around her, hanging from low branches of trees and the remains of the walls. She noticed a small table set with a vase of violets in the center; a red table cloth was covering it along with two chairs, plates, silverware, and two glasses. Wonderfully astonished at the sight, she turned around to face Eli.

"You did all this?"

"Well, Adam helped me put the lights up and moved the table out here," he admitted.

Clare stepped closer to him and put her hands on his chest while he cupped the sides of her elbows.

"Just when I think you can't get any more amazing, you do this."

"Like I said, Adam helped," he said, he cheeks turning slightly red.

"But _you_ planned this for us just so we can celebrate our promise to get married and you went all out," she continued to compliment.

"You should see what I have planned for our one year wedding anniversary in seven years."

Clare grinned and he returned it.

"I just hope it doesn't take too long."

The undeniable certainty then really started to sink in for her; the number of years she and Eli had to wait to be married were going to be drawn out and agonizing. She knew the wait was going to be worth it though; they were both going to be joined together in matrimony one day and still be able to complete their education.

She then remembered that Eli was leaving for Ottawa in nearly three short months. She always adored the small things he did for her and she treasured the dates they went on, and therefore it made her a bit depressed that they would only have a certain number of these nights before he left Toronto. She dipped her head down slightly, trying not to show any pain in her eyes. Eli, however, noticed something off about her. He felt a small pit form in his stomach.

"If I overdid it –."

"No, this is perfect," she said honestly, looking back up at him.

"Then what's wrong?" he asked caringly.

"Nothing," she answered. "I was just thinking and . . . I'm going to miss you when you leave in a few months."

"Hey, let's not think about that tonight," he said directly. "This night is dedicated to us to celebrate the fact that we have made an official promise five weeks ago to get married and that we are going to be wed in six years."

Clare beamed at him before placing her hands around the sides of his neck and kissing his lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Clare Edwards, soon to be Goldsworthy."

She smiled at the sound of that before Eli took her hand and walked her over to the table. He pulled out a seat and gestured for her to sit at the table.

"Thank you," she said as she sat.

"I'll be right back," he said.

Clare marveled at the scene around her as he walked back over to Morty. He went to the car and found a mixed CD he made just for these moments when romance was in the air. It consisted of soft music from some of Clare's favorite musician's along with their song and other various melodies of love. Yes, most of this wasn't exactly "his style" of music, but he couldn't see this scene playing out the way he pictured it while Dead Hand played through the speakers of his car. Plus, he wanted this to be a wonderful night for Clare and he knew that she would like listening to some music she enjoyed.

As the music began to play, Eli walked to the back of Morty, opened the door, and saw the remaining necessities for the evening sitting in a cardboard box. There was a bottle, a bowl and a plate covered in plastic wrap, a square dish covered in aluminum foil, a big metal spoon, tongs, and a small container resting inside it. He grabbed the bottle first and began walking back to the table; he grinned when he saw Clare continuing to stare at his and Adam's handiwork.

"Sparkling water?" he offered when he was able to show her the bottle.

"Please," she answered.

Eli opened the bottle and filled her glass before doing the same to his own. She gazed at him the whole time, still trying to believe that she had a boyfriend who was still as sweet and spontaneous as he was when she first met him; she honestly thought that these gestures would fade with time, but sixteen months have passed and they were still more than willingly to share these moments. She could not get her head wrapped around it, thus she simply accepted the fact that this was part of reality and she was blessed for it.

Eli put the bottle on the table when he was done filling the glasses before turning back to Clare.

"Now, Miss Edwards, if you'll excuse me, I shall go get our dinner," he said formally.

"Do you need a hand with anything?" Clare asked before he could make his way back to his vehicle.

"Nope," he answered, pausing at her chair. "You just sit here and get comfortable."

He planted a kiss on her head before he returned to Morty. He soon came back and put a bowl on the table and took off wrap to expose some salad. He went back another time and returned with a plate of dinner rolls, salad tongs, and a serving spoon before leaving again and coming back with an object that was blanketed in aluminum wrapping.

"Now our main entree," he announced, setting the foil-covered dish on the table. He took off the cover to reveal their dinner. "I hope you like chicken and rice casserole."

"I finally get to taste your cooking," she stated with a simper.

"And I hope you enjoy it."

He took a seat across from her and they both began to get their food; they each got a fair amount of salad, bread, and casserole. The scent of the meal filled the air and that alone made Clare's mouth water, her desire to try it increasing.

"To us?" she said, raising her glass after they got comfortable.

He smirked and mirrored her movement.

"To us," he echoed before their glasses met and made a gentle _clink_.

They both sipped their water before they began to eat. Eli kept his eyes on Clare to see her reaction to the casserole; he soon saw her put some of the meal on her fork before bringing it to her mouth.

"Oh my God, this is amazing," Clare praised as she tasted the food.

"You like it?"

"I love it," she emphasized. "I might just have to get seconds."

"Well, I made more than enough for that."

"Good thinking," she said before taking another bite.

For a few minutes, they ate in complete silence but exchanged flirtatious smiles. Throughout the rest of their dinner, they had small conversations that didn't last too long, but when they eventually fizzled away, there was not any awkwardness. Instead, there was only peace and harmony. They each had seconds and thirds until all the food was gone along with the bottle of sparkling water.

"That was _so_ good," Clare complimented again as she finished what was left on her plate.

"I'm glad you liked it," Eli grinned, also finishing.

"It was perfect. Seriously, everything is amazing," she said to him. "I have to admit, I didn't expect _this_ much when you said 'romantic dinner'."

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know, but this is exceeds anything I could've thought of."

"Well, after last weekend, I thought you deserved the best."

Clare loved how Eli did all of this for her and she appreciated that he went above and beyond to make her happy, but she also knew that he had to do so much to make it as fantastic as possible.

"You really didn't have to go through –."

"Shhh," he said before taking her hand. "You know I don't mind."

Clare smiled devotionally at him.

"And they say there's no such thing as the perfect boyfriend."

Eli rolled his eyes.

"No one's perfect, Clare."

"Then how about you're the boyfriend who's perfect for me?" she commended.

He grinned at her words.

"I'll take that one."

They sat there, hands intertwined as they sat at their table, the lights continuing to shine around them. The couple conversed and exchanged miles for the longest time; by the time the sky had completely darkened above them, they had recollected memories of them being together, they discussed a couple of their story ideas, and, at one point, they talked about a topic that involved their future together.

"You said that you wanted to talk about a few things before we got married. You know, figure out a couple of things," Eli said in retrospect while he continued to hold her hand.

"We have six years," she recalled.

"I know and I'm not suggesting that we have a big talk about everything now, but . . . what if we decide some things but something comes up or we change our minds about stuff? What do we do?"

"Simple," Clare stated. "We talk and compromise."

"That might be easier said than done sometimes," he mentioned.

"I know, but we'll figure it out somehow."

Eli sighed, not sure if he should still be worried or not. He wanted everything to go according to their plan, but he knew that the next six years could change their dreams and aspirations. He did not want to lose Clare in the midst of that and he was still terrified that he would if anything was altered, but he knew that it could happen; the idea of it coming to life made him frightened.

Clare saw the fear in his eyes and she squeezed his hand in comfort.

"I promised you I was not going to throw this away and I don't plan on it just because one of us wants to change a few plans," she eased.

"But what if something happens and one of us is offered a job three thousand miles away or something?"

"We'll talk about it," she assured him.

"What if –?"

"Eli," she cut across him. "Listen to yourself. We can't always think about what might happen, but think about what's happening or what we want to happen. Unless something does come up, I plan on us staying together through college and getting married six years from now."

"I'm just worried that something is going to end us, Clare."

"I know, but I am not going to let it happen. Even if I have to pack a bag and follow you halfway across the world, I would; and I know you would do the same for me, so then we'll talk everything out and we'll decide what we should do, but breaking up will _never_ be an option. I promise."

Eli gazed in her eyes and saw nothing short of the truth. He also heard that promise in her voice and he could tell that she was being sincere; it was amazing how she was always able to alleviate him of doubt whenever he was most afraid no matter what was bothering him. He felt strength and confidence in their love once again.

"No giving up, right?" he asked.

"I won't if you won't."

"Now why would I want to give up on the most amazing relationship with the most amazing girl I know?" he said, brushing his thumb over her hand.

"You are so sweet," she informed him, a tiny blush coming to her face.

"That reminds me," Eli said, standing up from his seat and walked towards Morty.

Clare had no clue what else Eli had in that hearse, but he returned seconds later with a small container with a green lid.

"For our dessert . . ."

He popped the lid off the container and revealed their after-dinner food.

"Éclairs."

Sure enough, two chocolate éclairs were sitting inside as he placed the container on the table.

"Compliments of me and CeCe."

"Perfect," she grinned; Eli learned a long time ago of her weakness for this type of pastry. They both grabbed their treat and enjoyed it. Clare definitely approved of, and underestimated, Eli's abilities in a kitchen.

They both sat under the sky; there weren't any stars above them, but a quarter of the moon was shining against the darkness and the lights around them continued to glow. They valued this perfect night while the soft music played through the night.

"This has probably been one of the best dates we've ever had," Clare declared.

()()

The rest of their night included them lying on Morty's hood, gazing up at the sky, talking, and sharing many sweet kisses. Unfortunately, the curfew approached them and it was time for Eli to return Clare to her home.

They got into the hearse and began to drive back to Clare's house. They both agreed that the night was nothing less than perfect and they cherished the memories of the night as they arrived at Clare's. They both exited Morty and Eli wrapped his arm around her waist as he led her to the front door. They arrived at her front step; such a familiar place to say their farewells until they saw each other again. Clare wrapped her arms around his chest as he locked both his hands on her back.

"Thanks for tonight," she grinned at him. "I really needed a peaceful, romantic, perfect evening."

"Well, I'm glad you're happy," he said, smiling at her joy and serenity.

She gave him another smile before putting her lips to his. She felt the classic sparks the two of them exchanged as they kissed and it wasn't long until those flares transformed into pure adulation. Clare didn't want to stop this moment, but she knew she had to if she was going to tell Eli what her heart was screaming. She leaned out of the kiss and looked at him.

"I love you," she breathed.

"I love you too," Eli repeated before kissing her forehead.

She held him tighter until they were embracing. They both relished the moment of holding each other with grins etched on their faces.

"Eli," Clare said.

"Yes?" Eli responded.

"We'll visit each other a lot while you're at Ottawa and we'll still go on dates, right?" she asked.

"You bet," he answered. "But don't worry; I'm not going anywhere for a while."

She grinned at this fact before leaning out of the hug to stare at his gentle green eyes. She would never get tired of seeing them, especially while they were full of love and warmth.

"Goodnight," he smiled at her.

"Goodnight," she replied before giving him one last kiss. Once it was over, they unwound their arms from each other and Clare slowly returned to her home, giving Eli one last loving grin before closing the door behind her. A magical end to a magical night.

* * *

"_You're here_

_There's nothing I fear _

_And I know that my heart will go on_

_We'll stay forever this way _

_You are safe in my heart _

_And my heart will go on and on"_

_~"My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion_

* * *

Read "When You Came" by BlackRabbit550! Great story by a great person! Review that story and this one please! And, for those who like Clare and Drew, check out "Someone to Hold Onto" by Moxxy. Reviews please! I was thinking that this next chapter should be Alli/Clare friendship scene I had in mind for a while, but I'm not sure. What do you guys think?


	73. I Just Call You Mine

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks sushi.23, My world of Eli, ilovetaylorswift13, MadameDegrassi4587, Moxxy, simplecrafter, Degrassistar, ForeverInYouArms, IHeartSprinkles, BlackRabbit550 (AKA the wonderful Babo), and Writteninthestars08 for your reviews! You are all awesome and I love you all (the weird thing is, I don't even know you guys personally and I like you guys better than most of the people I hang out with at school)!

This is a birthday gift for IHeartSprinkles! I'm hoping I have this up on the right day, but I'm sorry if it's a day early or a day late. Happy birthday and many, many more! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . or lions, and tigers, and bears. Oh my!

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Three

I Just Call You Mine

For a few weeks now, Clare had been hoping to have a day out with Alli since they haven't spent any time together in a while. The two of them kept in contact and sometimes Alli would come to the Dot while Clare worked and Clare would see Alli as she did her job at a convenience store, but they really needed a day that was simply dedicated to them catching up and hanging out. Neither of them had to work that Saturday, therefore they decided to take advantage of it and go to the mall.

Not only were the two of them going to talk, laugh, and have a good time, they were also planning on getting their dresses for prom. Alli had whole-heartedly agreed to go as Adam's date when Clare proposed the idea to her days before; she and Drew didn't have anything between them anymore and he was away at university, so Alli didn't see the harm in going with Adam. The girls walked into a store to pick out their prom dresses and put them on hold, but they weren't actually going to pick them up until the dance was upon them.

"I don't see the point of there being a prom at my school," Alli stated as she and Clare walked into the dress department of the store. "It's all girls, so where's the fun in that?"

"Going in groups? Experience?" she guessed.

"It still seems ridiculous to me," Alli rephrased as they started looking at the dresses.

"So I guess it's a good thing Adam is your date for the prom at Degrassi," Clare stated. She pulled a purple dress off the rack to get a better look. It had a vine made of glitter wrapping itself around the body.

"Cute," Alli approved. "Yeah, I'm glad I'm going with Adam; he seems like a decent guy and I have not met one of those in forever."

"It's not going to be weird for you, right?" Clare asked as she put the dress back on the rack.

"I have zero problems with him being transgender," she said pointblank. "You know how I am."

"I actually meant if you would be okay because he's the brother of your ex."

"Clare," Alli groaned. "For the thousandth time, that's ancient history. As long as I don't see Drew, I'll be fine."

"Alright," Clare grinned, looking through the dresses again and feeling assured that no drama was going to happen between her two best friends.

"What do you think of this one?" Alli asked, pulling a red, strapless, satin dress out of the of forest clothing.

"I like it. It suits you," her best friend complimented.

"Then it is definitely an option," Alli said before putting it away. "And I'm assuming that you're going with the one and only Eli."

"Of course," Clare smiled.

"He doesn't really strike me as the prom-going type."

"I know, but he asked me if I wanted to go with him and I said yes."

"Is he looking forward to it?" she asked, going through more dresses.

"I think so, but since this is his last dance at Degrassi, I want it to be really special for him."

"Is that why you're buying a new dress instead of using one of Darcy's hand-me-downs?"

"You got it," Clare acknowledged, taking a dress of the rack. It was black, strapless, low-cut, would've reached her thighs, and her breasts would've spilled out of it if she had put in on. This definitely would've caught Eli's attention, but she wanted to be sure it wasn't too much. She held it against the front of body and turned to Alli. "What about this one?"

Alli's eyes widened at the sight.

"It screams 'hooker'," she said bluntly.

That was _not_ what Clare saw going for, so she put it back before continuing her search.

"So how are you going to make it special for him?"

"I don't know. I mean, other than sex, what else can you do for a guy?" Clare asked.

"That's a good question, but those tickets to the Spring Jam made him happy."

"Yeah, but what could I do specifically for prom?" she wondered, taking a blue spaghetti strap dress off the rack.

"You could always give him that flower thing that goes on his tux," Alli suggested.

"You mean a boutonniere?"

"Yeah," she settled.

"I don't know," Clare said in response to Alli's admonition. "I don't think that's his thing and I want to do something big."

"How big?" she asked, trying to draw a conclusion on a pink dress.

"I'm not sure," Clare admitted, wishing that an idea would simply come to her.

"Personally, I think you're putting more pressure on yourself than necessary. I'm positive that Eli would love whatever you do."

"I know, but it always seems like he does everything for me and I don't do anything for him. I mean, last night he made this dinner for us and there was music and everything and it was _so_ amazing; I just want to do something that great for him."

"You know how Eli is; he's just happy that you two are getting married and that you two are staying together till the end of time and all that good stuff."

"But I still want to do something great for prom. You know, like . . . I don't even know," she complained, finally looking at the dress she had in her hand.

"Well, if you can't figure out what you can do, maybe you can give him something."

"Maybe," Clare repeated. "I'm going to try on this one."

"Okay. Is he gonna try to and make it to your prom next year?" Alli asked, looking for the red dress she found a few minutes ago.

"He's going to be at a college that's nearly three hundred miles away," Clare reminded as she walked towards the dressing room, which was right next to them. "I don't think he'll be able to come."

"That sucks," Alli commented, standing on the other side of the changing room with the dress in her hands.

"It won't be the end of the world. But that is another reason why I want prom to be a special night; it may be our last school dance together _ever_."

"You really know how to kill a mood, you know that?"

"Sorry," Clare said. "I just want it to be perfect."

"Just think of it this way: if prom blows, at least you can make up for it at your wedding."

"No pressure," Clare said with light sarcasm. "I just hope that –." She stopped herself before she revealed what was in her head to the world. Not saying another word, she continued to get changed into the dress. Unfortunately, this poked Alli's interest.

"You just hope that what?" she asked.

"Nothing," Clare lied.

"Clare," she urged, really wanting to know what her friend was thinking, "you can tell me. What do you hope for?"

Clare saw that Alli was going to keep pressing on this subject, ergo she knew it would be better to go ahead and tell her what was on her mind than deal with the nagging.

"I hope that . . . I can still . . . make him happy after we're married."

"Have you met this guy?" Alli said, somewhat surprised that Clare would fret about that. "Of course you'll still make him happy."

"No, I don't mean 'make him happy', I mean _make him happy_. Get it?"

Alli heard the added intensity on those three words and the light bulb in her head clicked on.

"Oh, you mean in _that _way."

"Yeah," Clare admitted. "We're not going to do anything like that for another six years, so . . . what if I can't . . .?"

"Listen, if there's one thing I know about guys, it's that if they don't get any for a while, they will most likely be satisfied once they do."

"That doesn't really help."

"Don't worry," she assured Clare. "I'm sure Eli will think you're incredible."

"That's what I hope."

"Wait, so you're going to wait until you're married?"

"Yep," Clare answered, remembering how she had forgotten to tell that piece of information to Alli.

"Why did you decide to do that?"

"I want our wedding night to be special; plus my parents will give me less grief about me promising this before I get out of high school. I like this one," she said, referring to the dress.

"Let me see."

Clare opened the door and showed the dress to Alli; she knew she didn't look her best considering that her make-up didn't match the dress and her hair wasn't really done. However, Alli definitely saw the potentially the dress had. The blue of the fabric was symmetrical to her irises and the skirt of it went down her legs gracefully.

"I love it," she approved. "That one definitely has my vote."

"Mine too," Clare agreed. "Do you think Eli will like it?"

"Hey, he's your boyfriend, you tell me."

Clare thought for a moment. She knew Eli would like the dress because he thought she would look beautiful no matter what, but she still wouldn't to know if that was his honest opinion or not. Since the blue matched her eyes, she drew the conclusion that he would like the color of it and she could not see any reason why he would object or detest it. She established that this was the dress that she would wear to prom before she stepped back into the dressing room.

"So he's fine about waiting until you guys are married?" Alli asked.

"Why are you so interested in Eli and I all of the sudden?"

"I've always been interested," she stated. "So is he fine with it?"

"Yes, he is. I mean, I told him after I thought I was pregnant that I wanted to wait a bit until we did it again, but then things happened with my parents and us after that, and I knew we should wait until we were married. He understood, he didn't put up a fight, and he hasn't asked me to change my mind.

"And even before we did it the first time, he never pressured me, which makes me completely sure that he is the one, you know?" she said, stepping out of the room in her t-shirt, jacket, and jeans again. "Well, along with that he's also kind, patient, funny, and sweet . . . I can go on . . ."

Clare began feeling her heart float inside her with pure merriment; she felt at peace knowing that she was with Eli and she had never felt that way with anyone. She could trust him, talk to him, and always go to him when everything went wrong; all of these factors were proven when she left Little Miss Steaks last week. She smiled as she leaned against the door of the dressing room closet and began to imagine them at prom. Alli's next question, however, completely murdered Clare's tranquil trance.

"So how was it?"

"_Alli_!" she shrieked, her face turning red.

"Please, tell me," she begged.

"I'm _not_ telling you that," Clare refused as Alli stepped into the dressing room. "Why do you even want to know?"

"You're my best friend and I want to be sure if your first time was good because I care, that's all."

"I'm still not telling you."

"Come on, Clare," she pleaded. "Will you at least tell me if it was good or bad?"

Clare was still not comfortable talking about this kind of stuff with her own mother, so it was just a weird talking about it with Alli. They never really discussed that night, mainly because she wanted it to stay between her and Eli. However, she also knew that Alli would not let up on this until she revealed some information as to how their love making was.

"It was . . . really, _really_ good," she admitted, smiling timidly. "I mean . . . it was . . . wow."

"It's official," Alli smiled. "Saint Clare is history."

"Hey," Clare chuckled. "I still have my boundaries. Now can we _please_ stop talking about me and Eli?"

"What else should we talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," she said, pretending to think. "You and Adam?"

"What about us?"

"Why did you decide to go with him? I mean, if someone else from Degrassi asked you, would you have gone with them?"

"I don't know," Alli answered, still changing into the dress. "I mean, Adam's nice, funny, and we've texted and called a few times, so I might've only said yes to him."

Clare smiled and she could not stop the possibilities forming in her head. Could this one prom date turn into something else? Something that could result in her two best friends becoming an item? She did not know yet, but she would find out with time just like everyone else around her.

()()

They paid for their dresses and the store agreed to keep them on hold for the girls. Afterwards, they went around the mall buying a few items for themselves along with some accessories for prom. They also conversed about their lives in school and everything; Clare even got around to inviting Alli to come see the play's premiere in on Wednesday and she agreed. A few hours later, they stepped into the Dot for an early dinner. To Alli's surprise, they saw Eli give them a small wave from behind the counter, which they both returned before they went to a table by the window.

"I didn't know he worked on Saturdays."

"He doesn't usually; he had to cover for someone today," Clare explained.

"Oh. So, since he's working here now, do you still get to hang out with him outside of Degrassi?"

"Sometimes," she answered. "We work the same shifts after school and we usually get weekends off if we don't have to cover for someone, so we usually spend time together then."

"That's good."

Within a matter of seconds, their waiter came to take their orders.

"Hello, ladies," Eli greeted as he arrived at their table.

"Hey, sexy," Clare replied with a grin.

"Clare, I'm a working man now . . . therefore it's Mr. Sexy."

She playfully rolled her eyes.

"So does that mean I'll become Mrs. Sexy when I marry you?" she asked flirtatiously.

"Why wait until then?" he smiled and he saw her blush a bit.

"You two are so cute together," Alli mentioned.

"We know. So what will it be?" he asked as got his notepad and pen ready.

"I'll have a hamburger and cola, please," Alli said.

"Okay, got it," Eli wrote down before he turned to Clare. "Now do I even have to ask?"

"Nope," she answered before he wrote down something on the pad.

"Your orders will be here shortly," he informed them before he made his way to the counter.

"What was that about?" Alli asked, referring to what just happened.

"We've come here to eat so many times and I always get the same thing and he remembered it."

"You two are officially the sweetest couple I know."

"We have our moments," Clare said with a half shrug, trying to hide her smile.

"Have you guys thought about your wedding yet?" she asked.

"We haven't planned any of it if that's what you mean."

"Oh please can I help you plan it, Clare? Please, please, please," Alli begged.

"Alli, Eli and I have agreed to not make any plans until we get engaged, which won't happen until I get out of university."

"Okay, then can I help you after you get out? Please, please, please –."

"Alright!" Clare chuckled. "Just don't be making too many plans in your head over the next five years."

"Thank you," Alli squeaked in happiness. "So, do you guys have any idea when you're getting married?"

"June 14th six years from now," she answered.

"Ah, a June wedding," Alli sighed happily as she began staring into space. "I can see it already."

Clare rolled her eyes at Alli's enthusiasm, but she was pleased that Alli was in support of this. They sat and exchanged a few more words for a minute until Eli came with their drinks. He placed Alli's cola and Clare's lemonade in front of them and they both thanked him; he then told them that he would back with their food and walked away, but not before giving a quick wink to his girlfriend. She grinned at his gesture; he always found a way to be somewhat affectionate with her when he couldn't kiss her or anything around those lines.

"Aw, that was cute," Alli observed once Eli was out of earshot.

"He can be such a flirt sometimes," Clare said with a small laugh.

"But at least he's only that way with you. Look," Alli said, nodding her head to the next table Eli was working. There were two girls sitting there from Eli's grade that Clare recognized from school. She noticed that they were staring at him, batting their eyelashes, and twirling their hair libidinously. It made Clare slightly aggravated to see them acting that way around her boyfriend, but that quickly faded when she saw Eli. He was not reacting to their flirts and proceeded to do his job and nothing more.

"Does it bother you when girls do that after what happened with that Kate girl?" Alli inquired of Clare once Eli left that table; the girls, they noted, were giggling and talking while taking glances of their waiter.

"A bit more than it used to," Clare confessed. "But as long as Eli is aware of it and doesn't do anything back, I can live with it."

"Has she done anything else to come between you guys?"

"Once when Eli kept clinging to me, but nothing since then," she confirmed. "Hopefully, she doesn't do anything else, but I'm watching my back just in case."

"Good call."

They soon got off the subject of Kate and Alli started telling Clare about some of the girls at her school until Eli came with their meals.

"One hamburger, and one chicken sandwich," he announced as he set their plates down in front of them. He then turned to Clare. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but your usual side order of Goldsworthy is temporarily unavailable, but it will arrive here in four hours if you're interested."

"Four hours?" she repeated.

"And not a second later," he promised. He was aware that Alli could only have friends around until seven o'clock unless they were spending the night; Clare was not spending the night, so he knew that he would not be intruding on any quality time she was having with her best friend.

"Well, I guess I can get it then."

"So I'll see you at eight?"

"Will do," she agreed.

"Great," he grinned, pleased that he would be seeing her tonight.

"Excuse me!" one of the customers called to Eli. He glanced over his shoulder and saw it was the two girls he was serving earlier. He resisted temptation to roll his eyes; every time they came in, they always made an effort to flirt with him and it got more annoying as time went on. Usually someone else would work their table, but there were times when he had no choice but to do it himself.

"Duty calls," he said to the other two regretfully.

"Well, just so they don't get any more ideas," Clare began before putting a hand on his shoulder and putting pressure on it to make him lean down a bit. Once he was close enough, Clare planted a quick kiss on his cheek. She didn't want him to get in trouble while on the job, so she was not to linger. After she removed her lips, she roamed her eyes to the other side of the restaurant and saw the two girls looking crestfallen. Convinced that those two would not be getting friendly with Eli anymore, she removed her hand from him. She darted her eyes back to her boyfriend and was pleased to see him grinning.

"You've probably just saved me from getting two phone numbers I don't need," he thanked her.

"It's my job," she shrugged.

"And you do it very well," he informed her as he walked away towards the two customers. To both of their reliefs, neither of the girls flirted with him again.

()()

After Alli and Clare were done with their food, they bade Eli farewell and they went back to Alli's to talk, listen to music, and simply hang out. Hours later, Clare began walking back to the Dot to meet Eli; she was pleased that she spent the day with her best friend and now she was going to spend the evening with her boyfriend. Once she arrived, she sat at a table outside the restaurant and waited patiently for Eli to get off work. After waiting for only ten minutes for eight o'clock to arrive, she saw the door open and she smiled when Eli came out.

"Hi," she greeted him as she stood on her feet.

"Hey," he replied with a grin before giving her a kiss. "I told you I'd be here."

"And you weren't a second late."

He took her hand and the two of them walked towards Morty. They did not climb in; instead, they took each other's hands and Clare leaned against the passenger side door.

"So what did you and Alli do today?" Eli asked.

"We went to the mall, talked about stuff, did some shopping . . . and I bought my prom dress today."

"Great. What color is it?" he asked.

"I want it to be a surprise."

"But I want to get you a matching corsage."

"I thought you weren't into the whole prom, corsage thing."

"Well, I only get to go to senior prom once; I might as well be somewhat traditional. I probably won't rent a limo, though," he told her.

"We have a hearse," she reminded him. "We don't need a limo."

Eli smiled at how Clare did not need the materialistic parts of life to satisfy her happiness.

"You are probably the one of the only girls I know who would not mind driving to prom in a hearse."

Clare grinned at him.

"You know the big things don't matter to me."

"And that's what of the many things I love about you."

Before either of them could speak again, Clare gently placed a kiss on Eli's lips, recalling all the reasons why she was blessed to call this guy her loving boyfriend.

"I love you," she said to him as she leaned away.

"I love you too, Blue Eyes," he told her.

* * *

"_Everyone that sees you _

_Always wants to know you _

_And everyone that knows you _

_Always has a smile"_

_~"I Just Call You Mine" by Martina McBride_

* * *

Pictures of Alli and Clare's final dress choice for prom are on my twitter, but I will probably put them on a Vlog later like with all the other pictures I've mentioned.

Okay guys, I'm starting to realize that this story is going to be very, very, very, very long! Now I'm hoping that you all would keep reading until this story ends (and it will eventually), but I realize that there may be a few people who think this is WAY too long and stop reading it. Now I have a way to shorten the number of chapters in this story and that's by making the chapters really long (longer than what they are now), but that could possibly result in less frequent updates. If you guys think I should do that, let me know. However, if you don't care how long it is and you want me to keep doing things the way I am, let me know. As long as you guys are happy, I don't mind which one I do. Please let me know and I'll take all opinions into consideration; I would greatly appreciate everyone's feedback on this idea along with this chapter. Reviews please!


	74. Heartbreak!

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Okay, you all are the most AMAZING readers/reviewers in the history of the universe! I thank all of you for your input on what I should do with my chapters and I decided that I'll go with the idea the lovely J.A.L.L had and combine the ideas. Some chapters will be long, some will be short, and the rest will remain the same they are now; it'll all depend on what happens in the chapter.

And an always lovely reviewer (who I shall keep anonymous just in case she does not want me addressing her name) brought something to my attention: the dresses I posted on twitter. I know Clare's dress is a bit long for her short-ish body, so let's just say that the dress is proportional to her size. And, if I write prom, I will spice up Alli's outfit. I hope that clears up that issue!

Okay, I'm sure you guys are tired of reading this A/N, so read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Now let me out of this freaking jail cell!

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Four

Heartbreak!

Eli and Clare were standing by the lockers at the end of a rehearsal that lasted an hour and half on Monday afternoon; the two of them were going to go to Clare's house and hang out before they had to go work at the Dot, but Adam wanted them to wait for him to get done checking his email in the computer lab. Why he asked them to do so, however, was a mystery to Eli and Clare. They soon found out . . .

"Lady and Eli," Adam announced tremendously as he walked up to his two best friends a few minutes later. "Guess who is going to Trent University in the fall? Uh . . . _me_!"

"For real?" Clare asked, pleased to hear this news.

"For real," Adam echoed. "I checked my email, I got a message from them, and they said I'm in!"

"That's great, bud," Eli congratulated, giving his best friend a high-five.

Not even a second after the boys carried out this action did Clare threw her arms around Adam's neck and gave him the biggest hug possible.

"This is awesome!" she praised.

"Thank you," Adam choked through the embrace. "C-Clare . . . can't . . . breathe."

"Oh, sorry," she said, releasing him.

"Eli, learn to restrain your woman," he said kiddingly.

"Can't dude," Eli said. "She's a hugger; it's what she does."

"Ha-ha, very funny guys," Clare chimed in as she walked between the boys as they walked down the hallway. "I'm just happy that two of my favorite guys got into the colleges they want to go to."

"Now no ifs, ands, or buts, you are going to come visit us."

"I will, Adam," Clare promised. "Once I get a car I will visit both of you."

"And I'm sure we'll see you every time we can," Eli stated.

"And you better drag your butt down from Ottawa to visit me," Adam warned him.

"Aye, aye Captain Torres," Eli saluted.

()()

"So you're going to U of O and Adam's going to a school not too far away from Toronto," Clare grinned as she and Eli walked up the path to her house ten minutes later. "Talk about awesome."

"And this means we won't have to worry about growing apart from Adam since he's practically in the middle of here and Ottawa," Eli reminded.

"We can't grow apart from him; you already promised him to be best man at the wedding," she stated as they walked into the house.

"He has half of his speech written too."

"Really? The wedding's not for another half a decade or so."

"He's an excited kid. Plus he said he'll have time to revise and practice it."

"At least he cares," Clare said as they walked towards the stairs.

"Hello, Clare."

Eli and Clare turned their heads to the living room. They saw Alyson standing by the window. Clare was surprised and aggravated . . . but mostly aggravated; she wasn't going to be able to spend an afternoon with Eli now since she knew Alyson would be breathing down her neck the whole time. She couldn't believe that neither she nor Eli noticed her car in the driveway; if they did, they could've avoided this moment.

"Hi," Clare greeted. "Um . . . what are you doing here?"

"Your dad suggested that I come over so you and I can get to know each other since he's working late tonight."

"That's . . ."

_Horrible_, she thought in her head. She held her tongue and instantly changed the subject.

"Alyson, this is Eli. Eli, this is Alyson, my dad's girlfriend."

"Ah, the famous Eli," Alyson said with a grimace. Obviously she wasn't a fan of his gothic attire that he wore with his Degrassi uniform; she disapproved of the slight eye makeup, the black jacket he was carrying, the multiple pieces of jewelry he wore, and his darkened fingernails.

"Nice to meet you," Eli stated only to be polite. He did not get a good vibe from this woman and she seemed to be a bit pompous; maybe he was slightly biased, but he got the uneasy feeling nonetheless.

"You too," Alyson lied through her teeth. "I understand that you and Clare have been dating for a year and few months now, is that correct?"

"Yes," he answered.

"And you two are getting married?"

"We're going to wait nearly ten years, but yes, ultimately we are," he said, trying not to sound too disrespectful, but some bitterness did emerge from his voice.

"Well, I just hope you two see what you're doing with your lives."

"We do."

"And I also hope that you don't go off to whatever university you go to, meet a few girls, and then leave Clare for one of them and end up breaking her heart and wasting the rest of her childhood."

"I'm not going to leave her," he said, his voice rising slightly.

"Please, watch that tone," she scolded.

Clare wanted to shout at this woman for speaking this way to Eli when she just met him a few seconds ago. She wished that she didn't get Eli involved in this, but she did. She kept her lips glued together in a hard line so she wouldn't explode. This was the first time Clare had seen Alyson since their small confrontation in her apartment a couple of weeks ago and, if Clare had to be honest, she thought that this woman had a lot of nerve showing up here, speak to her as though nothing had happened, _and _treat her boyfriend like that while she was the one who was judging by what Randall told her.

"Clare, I was thinking we could grab a bite to eat and talk for a bit before you go to work," Alyson continued once it was clear that she and Eli were done speaking. "And if you need help with homework, I'm here; I've heard your Geometry grade is slipping."

Clare, whose grade had been improving since Eli started tutoring her, yearned for nothing more than to throw this woman out, but the last thing needed right now was a repeat of what happened at Little Miss Steaks not long ago. She accepted that her dad and Alyson were now together, but she wanted to do as little as possible with her.

"I'm actually doing fine, thanks. Most of my homework is actually done."

"Great, then we could go ahead and leave," Alyson said.

Clare's mind raced to find a way to get out of this, but none came to her.

"Clare, did you forget? We have that English project to work on," Eli said instantly. She turned to him and she saw that he was lying, for Dawes didn't assign them any homework for that night, let alone a project. "And we promised Adam that we'd meet him at the library."

"Oh yeah," Clare said, catching on to his tall tale. "Sorry Alyson, maybe some other time?

"Alright," she allowed.

Clare and Eli left the house swiftly, but not enough to make it plain to Alyson that they were trying to escape her sight.

"You are my hero," she told him gratefully as they walked towards Morty.

"But now we have to go to the library until our shifts start in case she pays us a visit."

"I'm not spending an afternoon with her; I don't care where we go."

They climbed into the car, noticing Alyson watching them from the window. Eli put the hearse in gear and got off the property as quickly as possible.

"I didn't mean to throw you under the bus like that," Clare said after taking five minutes to cool down in complete silence.

"Don't worry," he told her as they went down the street.

"See what I mean about her?"

"She's a bitch," he stated.

"Told you," Clare nodded.

"What I don't get is why she hasn't apologized for anything she did to you. I mean, it was basically her fault that you left the restaurant."

"I don't understand it either, but I don't want to bring it up to her because then she'll start saying how much of a drama queen I was."

"You weren't a drama queen," he assured her as he pulled up to the local library. "What happened to your dad talking to her about it?"

"I'm not sure if my dad has talked to her or not, but I guess either way she's going to continue being the way she was a few nights ago."

Eli parked the car and turned off the engine before turning to Clare seeing how annoyed and disheartened her features were.

"I'm sorry, babe," he said soothingly.

Clare merely shrugged as she climbed out of the hearse.

"It could be worse," she said as she and Eli walked towards the library; she took his hand and grinned at him. "I could not have the best boyfriend who is always there when I need him."

"I guess it's a good thing you have one then."

"And I thank him so, so, so much for being here."

She kissed his cheek before they entered the library. They made their way to sit at a vacant table near the back so the librarian wouldn't catch them kissing if they ever chose to do so. Half an hour passed and Clare was anxiously watching Eli as he read over the last few pages one of her stories while he sat across the table from her. She gave Eli this particular narrative to read after she finished writing it over spring break and he's been spending every moment possible reading it; it was lengthy, so it was taking him a while to finish. He took advantage of this time to go over the last three pages. He soon closed the notebook, handed it back to her, and looked directly at her. His demeanor seemed extremely serious and this caused Clare to become a bit worried.

"What did you think?" she asked apprehensively.

Eli sighed.

"I'm going to be brutally honest with you and tell you my opinion as an actual writer and not your boyfriend."

"Okay," she accepted, her nerves racing faster. She waited in a bated breath to hear what he thought.

"That . . . is a masterpiece," he stated before his face broke out into a smile.

Clare released the air she was holding inside her lungs.

"You like it?"

"Love it. It needs a bit of editing, but other than that it's extraordinary."

"Well, would _you_ be interested in editing it?" she asked, sliding the notebook towards him.

"Only definitely," he accepted. "Just when I think you can't a better writer, you create this."

She blushed a little; it was amazing that he still made her turn pink after all these months of being together.

"Same to you," she told him. "Now feel free to edit anything you want, but be sure that the dark prince and angel still fall in love and end up lying in the same bed together at the end."

"Don't worry, I will."

Eli put the book in his bag when he looked up and his happy mood vanished; he saw Alyson come into the library. She began skimming the library when Eli concluded that she was looking for them. Why else would she be here?

"We might want to start discussing something English related and think of a good excuse as to why Adam isn't here," he informed Clare.

"Why?" she asked, unaware that Alyson had entered.

"The Wicked Witch of the West has arrived in Munchkinland," he explained metaphorically.

"No," she complained with a moan. "We're screwed."

"Not necessarily," Eli said. "We just have to get our story straight."

"What story? All we got is that we were supposed to meet Adam here to work on an English project!" she hissed, not wanting to get caught in a lie with Alyson.

Before they could devise any kind of plan or figure out a story as to why Adam was not with them, Alyson came to them. The couple felt the pressure come on them, determined for their lie not to be discovered.

"Hello, you two," she accosted.

"Hi," Eli greeted.

"What's going on?" Clare asked.

"Well," she began as she took her purse off her shoulder and sitting next to Clare, "I was about to head home when I figured I should come and see if you guys needed help with this project. Where's your friend?" she asked.

"He had to leave early," Eli explained.

"Yeah, he had to go to work," Clare continued on for him.

"Oh, well, I can still help if you two need it."

"Thanks, but . . . Adam said that he would take it home with him so he could finish what was left to do," she construed.

"Alright, so you have nothing to do now? No reason to stay at the library?" Alyson interrogated.

"Well . . ." Eli began. "We figured that we should . . . go over a few notes we have about the project."

He was highly aware that this was probably not the best tale he could've told, but it was the only one he could formulate on the spot. It was their misfortune when Alyson pursed her lips and folded her hands on the table as though she was thinking about something. Was she catching on to what they were doing? Or was she wondering about something else entirely? They were about to find out . . .

"What's this English project about, Clare?" she asked Clare, facing her.

"Oh, it's about . . . about . . ."

The question had caught Clare completely off-guard and her brain became blocked from everything that was not happening right in front of her. Eli saw how flustered she was and decided to take a small course of action.

"We have to write an essay on an author from our favorite time period and then make a presentation about it," he explained, recalling a similar project they did at the beginning of the year.

"I believe I was asking Clare," Alyson glowered at Eli. "She could answer for herself . . . unless you don't think men are more dominant over women and that gives them the right to speak for them."

"Alyson, he's not a chauvinist; he's just better at explaining assignments than I am," she stepped in, not wanting Eli to get another verbal beating.

Alyson began to feel that something was not quite right now. They had this project that they needed to get done, but why would they only work on it for a matter of minutes when they knew their friend had to go to work? And since when could Clare not be able to explain something so simple? Nothing was adding up here and it made her become highly suspicious. She was not quite sure what was going on here, but she was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"Both of you tell me at the same time which author you're doing."

They both looked at each other, not wanting to speak in case they mentioned two completely different authors. Unluckily, not saying a word just made Alyson all the more incredulous.

"Hmm . . . you two said you were going to the library to do English, so why did you come by the house first? You guys didn't leave with anything or leave anything behind, so why didn't you guys just go straight to the library?"

She looked back and forth between Clare and Eli, waiting for an explanation. They were both silent, not having any clue how to find their way around the lie they were living.

"Unless you guys never planned on coming here . . . because you weren't going to meet someone here to work on a project," she continued, putting the pieces together one-by-one. When she reached a certain conclusion, she turned straight to Clare, who was avoiding Alyson's eye by looking at the table. "And that must mean that you left the house just so you would not have to spend time with me. Is that what this is about?"

Clare kept quiet and looked down at the table in front of her. She didn't feel guilty for lying to Alyson; she was simply annoyed that they got caught. When Clare did not answer her, Alyson drew the conclusion that Clare _did_ lie and then shook her head.

"You know, Clare, if you didn't want us to go out, you could've just told me," she scolded as she looked at Clare. "You shouldn't have lied to me."

"In her defense, I was the one who lied about us having an English project," Eli stated. Alyson, however, ignored him and continued to speak to Clare.

"I'm a big girl; I'm not going to be upset, angry, or disappointed if you tell me you'd rather spend time with your boyfriend than me."

Neither Clare nor Eli believed that sentence one little bit; she probably would've began lecturing and turn the tables to make Clare feel like nothing like she did at Little Miss Steaks and like how she was doing now.

"And you're seventeen; you should know by now that lying isn't going to get you far in life."

"I lied for her," Eli tried to intervene once again.

Alyson faced Eli, taking into account that this is the second time he got involved in this conversation.

"True, but she should've said something about it. And this isn't a matter that concerns you."

"He's just –," Clare attempted to defend.

"This does _not_ concern him," she snapped, turning back to her. "This is about you lying to my face. Not only is it wrong to do, it's also disrespectful. Your father did not raise you to lie to people whether you have certain feelings about them or not."

Not being able to stand seeing Alyson treating his girlfriend like this for much longer, Eli spoke.

"Okay, that is –."

"Eli," Clare cut across, turning her head in his direction, but kept looking down so he wouldn't see how abashed she was. "Eli, please don't."

"But Clare –."

"_Please_."

He grudgingly closed his mouth and held his tongue. He already didn't like Alyson, but now he was on the brink of actually detesting her. Eli sat there, not having the slightest idea of what he could do. He didn't want to sit there and remain silent. He wanted to stand up and give this woman a piece of his mind, but he knew that Clare would just stop him again.

"Can we please not do this now?" Clare then asked of Alyson, not wanting anymore of this in a public place nor while Eli was sitting there.

"Fine. I guess I'll see you later," Alyson accepted before pulling her purse over her shoulder. She stood up on her feet and stalked towards the door.

Clare made sure she was completely out of the library before facing Eli again.

"I hate her. I honestly hate her."

"I don't blame you."

"I mean, I may overreacted at Little Miss Steaks, but –."

"Clare, you didn't overreact."

"But even if I did, why did she have to say all that here right in front of you?"

She sat there and gazed back at the table, not believing that she was treated like a child for her boyfriend to see.

"That was so humiliating," she whispered to herself, hoping Eli didn't hear these words.

He heard her speaking and he felt terrible that she was feeling so low. He reached across the table and enclosed one of her hands around his. She looked back up at his touch and saw his eyes of comfort.

"You never have to feel embarrassed around me, okay? No matter what," he added.

"I can't help it," she admitted. "She treated me like a kid; if she had a problem with what I did, she could've saved it until we were alone instead of doing it here in public, let alone with you sitting _right_ _there_."

Her face had blushed the deep crimson similar to that of the color of blood. She was upset, embarrassed, and began wishing that Alyson and her father never met.

"Clare," Eli's voice then said to her. "It's okay. She's not worth your time."

"But still . . . you were here the whole time."

"So?" he said. "It's not like I'm going to change the way I see you or how I feel about you or anything just because she's treats you like that."

"I just mean . . . I don't want you seeing her treat me like that, you know?"

Eli struggled to find the words to console her, but he felt her yearning it and so he did the best he could.

"Like I said, she's not worth it; don't let her take up your time by feeling upset. Instead, just take a breath and go forward; she won't win that way."

Clare heard his words travel to her ears and let them flow towards her brain. He was right, as usual; she couldn't let Alyson's words affect her no matter how harsh they were. It would be better for everyone if Clare just shrugged them off and went on with her life.

"You're right," she said to Eli. "She's not worth it."

Eli held her hand a bit tighter and they exchanged small smiles in a simple, light silence.

"Thank you," she said.

"That's why I'm here."

"And thanks for trying to take up for me like that."

Eli gave her a warm smile before bringing her hand to his lips.

"I just don't like my girl being pushed down by people."

Clare's face drained of all the blood of embarrassment and anger and was replaced by a blush that Eli created.

"We should get to work," he said, checking the clock on the wall.

The two of them stood up and left the library; as they made their exit, Eli wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek.

"Why are you always so kind to me?" she asked.

"Well, the tiny detail about me loving you more than the air I breathe may have something to do with it," he stated.

Smiling at him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and held onto him as they walked towards Morty.

"I don't know many guys like you," she said to him. "Most of the guys I know can be real jerks."

"Well I'll start acting like one if you want me to," he said with a smirk.

"Don't you dare," she glared playfully.

()()

They went to work and, thankfully, it didn't go by at a slow pace. Clare had a gut-wrenching feeling that Alyson was going to tell Randall what happened at the library and she knew that could resort in her receiving yet another speech about her behavior from him. She was not looking forward to it, but as long as he did not accuse Eli of being a bad influence on her or anything similar to that, she knew that she could endure it and get over after a good night's sleep. However, she was glad that she was able to avoid that for a few more hours by doing her job with the person she loved.

Everyone else had to head out early tonight and that meant that it was just the two of them left to close up the Dot. They were almost done for the night; all that was left to do was stack the chairs, sweep the floor, clean off the counter, and lock up the safe. Clare was reflecting on the afternoon at the library and began feeling more appreciative than ever of Eli. No matter what was going on, he was always on her side, gave her support and comfort, and made her feel better the best he could.

She watched Eli put all the money in the safe and record it as she flipped some chairs over and stacked them on the table. As she situated another chair, she was recalled what she told Alli on Saturday about how it felt like Eli was always doing things for Clare but she never did anything in specifically for him. She had an idea or two about what she could give him for prom, but, in her opinion, she deserved more than just something for a dance; she wanted to give him something more than that.

When she got done stacking the chairs, she stepped behind the counter and went towards Eli, who was still taking care of everything in the safe. Once he closed it and began locking it, he felt Clare wrap her arms around his waist.

"I want to do something special for you," she stated.

"Why?" he asked, not really understanding what she meant.

"Because you've been so kind to me through everything and I feel like I've barely done anything for you."

After he was positive that the safe was secure, Eli turned around and put his lips to her neck as he held her upper arms while she continued to hold his waist.

"You've done everything for me," he muttered against her skin.

"I mean it, Eli," she said. "I really want to thank you for being so great to me."

"You don't have to," he said as he leaned back to look at her.

"I want to," Clare restated. "You let me stay the night with you, stood up for me, talked to my dad, and all this other stuff and I want to do something in return."

"You're happy and that's enough for me."

"You always say that."

"And I mean it."

"I'm going to give you a hard time about it until you give me an actual answer. So, my love, what do you want me to do for you?"

Eli, who only desired one thing from Clare right now, pretended to think about her question.

"Hmm . . . how about a kiss?" he suggested.

"Alright," she accepted.

She pushed her lips to his and put all the passion possible into it.

"What else?" she asked, when they separated.

"That's all," he answered before picking up a dishrag and cleaning off the counter.

"Elijah Nicholas," she groaned, walking out from behind the counter.

"Clare Diana," he mimicked.

"I'm serious. What do you want me to do for you?"

"Well, we're already going to prom together, we're planning on getting married, and you've made me the happiest guy alive, so . . . nada."

"And you think I'm impossible," she said with a small chuckle as she retrieved a broom from the supply closet and began sweeping.

"Oh, I _know_ you're impossible," he challenged; he did refer to her as that on more than one occasion.

"I'm not impossible; I'm determined."

"They're usually the same thing with you."

Clare rolled her eyes before raking the crumbs and dirt under the tables and on the floor.

"Seriously, Eli, name it."

"Clare, I'm happy."

"How can I make you happier?"

"I'm as happy as I can be," he informed her.

She did not anticipate for Eli to be _this_ difficult.

"Fine, I guess I'll have to figure this out on my own. One way or another, I'm going to do something special for you."

"See, this is why I call you impossible," he chortled.

* * *

"_Who told you that you're not good enough? _

_Who filled your head with lies and undermined everything you are? _

_Who told you that there's something wrong? _

_There's nothing wrong with the way you are"_

_~"Heartbreak!" by Shine Bright Baby_

* * *

Dang, this was long! I honestly wouldn't have made it this long, but I couldn't find a good point to divide it into two chapters. All I have to say is read "Come In With The Rain" by IHeartSprinkes and "Crazy Stupid Love" by My world of Eli! Oh, and review please!


	75. All We Know

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you for your reviews! I must thank the reviewer Elphaba for her kind words. Okay, I need to say that I was debating ending this story because nothing felt right to me and I was losing touch with the world around me (we've all been there, right? We know how much that sucks). However, I got love and support from 2 amazing people! Now, because of J.A.L.L and eclarefanxxx, I've decided to continue on with this story. I love you both; you are amazing, thoughtful, considerate people and I'm glad that I can talk to you two. I owe you both big time! God bless you two!

Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own (drumroll) . . . Degrassi!

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Five

All We Know

Eli entered Degrassi alone the following morning when Clare texted him and informed him that Mr. Edwards was taking her to school that day. He decided to go wait by her locker, but as he made his way there, he noticed that she was already putting books into it. Glad that he did not have to endure a period of waiting, he began walking towards her. She did not seem upset or anything from afar, so he hoped that this meant that nothing happened between her and her dad because of what happened at the library with Alyson yesterday.

Once he was close enough, Eli hugged her waist and pulled her into him. She always loved it when he snuck up to her and held her from behind like he had done so many times before.

"Hi, baby," she greeted, smiling that he was now here with her.

"Hey," he replied before kissing behind her earlobe. "How was your night?"

"Not too bad," she answered, knowing he was referring to her father's reaction about the two of them lying to Alyson.

"Did your dad lecture you about what happened?"

"Not really," she answered, closing her locker and rotating until she was facing Eli. "He just told me that I can't lie to her again."

"And he's still okay with us and everything?"

"Since you talked to him last week, he'll let this one go, but he says that Alyson still isn't pleased about us being together."

"I figured that much. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "My dad finally approves of my boyfriend, my mom really likes you, opening night of our play is tomorrow, and I have the greatest guy as my future husband, so I think I'll be fine."

"There's the Clare I know and love: Little Miss Optimism."

Clare grinned at him before giving him an appreciative kiss on the lips.

"Want to hang out after school before work?" he endeavored as their kiss concluded. "My place is an Alyson-free zone."

"I would, but my dad wants me to go straight home after rehearsal."

"Then can I drive you home and give you a ride to work?"

"Sounds like a plan to me," she approved.

"Then shall I pick you up at five?"

"Perfect."

()()

She wasn't sure how it happened, but Clare found herself walking through the cluster of trees that surrounded the abandoned church a quarter of an hour after rehearsal ended. The last fifteen minutes were a blur to her, but she distinctly remembered Randall saying five words to her that would change their lives:

"_I'm going to marry Alyson_."

She continued to sit there, shocked. Ice filled her veins as she heard him say a few more words to her, only really taking in a couple. The next thing she knew she was out the door and walking through the small wood.

She took a seat on a stone wall and looked at the sky. How could this happen so quickly? Her parents had barely been divorced for a year now her father was getting remarried to the worst woman imaginable? What happened to this life of hers that once seemed so balanced and happy if only for a minute? It felt like every time her problems got resolved more came along to beat her down again. Was the insanity ever going to take a break?

"I thought I'd find you here."

She looked away from the sky and saw Eli coming her way. She attempted to turn up the corners of her mouth, but she continued to look displeased.

"I was going to pick you up for work at your house, but you weren't there so –." He sat next to her and stopped himself from saying anymore when he felt the negative vibe she was giving. "What's the matter?"

Clare shook her head, sighed, and looked down at her feet.

"My dad and Alyson are getting married."

Eli scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry," he told her, knowing that would be upset.

"I want to be happy for him, but I can't help but be absolutely . . . I don't even know."

He comforted her by rubbing his hand up and down her upper arm. He wasn't happy about this arrangement either; the idea of Alyson becoming Clare's stepmother made his blood curdle.

"Am I a bad person if I said that I'm angry about this?" she asked of him.

"No," Eli told her honestly. "Need to talk?"

"Yes, yes I do," she replied while more bitterness emerged in her voice.

"I'm all ears; go ahead."

"I just can't believe my dad was able to move on so easily from the divorce. I mean, it only took him a few months to start dating again after he'd been married for twenty years, a month after that he's in a committed relationship, now he's getting married again; my mom isn't dating, let alone getting married. I don't know how to feel about that."

"Confused?" he suggested.

"That's what I am feeling, but I hate being that way. And my dad talked to Alyson about the weekly switch he and my mom have, and she's less than thrilled about that. So Dad's moving into her apartment, Mom's moving back home for good, and I'll only see him every other weekend. Long story short, it feels like the divorce is happening all over again, but this time there's nothing that can be done to make it better."

Eli had no idea what to say, which made him feel terribly useless. She needed his advice, but he had none to give. To give her some kind of support and comfort, he stroked the ends of her hair.

"When are they getting married?" he asked her.

"Sometime in October," she answered.

"Then think of it this way," he began. "You still have five months; just make them count with your dad being at home."

Clare chewed on her bottom lip for a while and thought about it.

"I guess there's not much more I can do other than that, is there?" she assented.

"Look on the bright side," he started. "Although you're seeing your dad every other weekend, that means you only have to deal with her for a maximum of six days out of the month."

"That's definitely a positive."

"And it's only for one more year," Eli reminded. "Then you'll be in university."

"And hopefully in Ottawa with you," she added as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Hopefully," he restated. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Once the shock wears off I'll be fine. But he mentioned something about bringing a date to the wedding."

She looked up at him as her eyes began to plead.

"I'll try and come," he promised. "It depends on if I have anything going on since I'll be in university."

"Thank you," she said.

"And anytime you need to talk, I'll be here."

Clare grinned slightly.

"I'm lucky to have you."

()()

Clare was content for a few hours after her talk with Eli, although the idea of her father remarrying did reenter her mind on more than one occasion. She was grateful that Eli always made her smile at work when it looked like she needed it. He even made her a chicken sandwich to eat on the ride home before they started cleaning and locking up for the night.

He drove her home and gave her a loving kiss before she climbed out of the car and walked to her house. Once she was inside, she found a note on the table by the front door from Randall; it said that he went out to dinner with Alyson and that he would be home before ten. Rolling her eyes, she crumbled the note in her hand before throwing it away along with the Styrofoam takeout box Eli put her sandwich in minutes ago. She journeyed to her room before walking to her desk to complete small amount of homework she had to do.

Clare finished all her work within half an hour, only having to stop for ten minutes to talk to Helen when she called, and then got changed into her pajamas before deciding to get something to drink from downstairs. She got out of her room, but then she heard the front door open and she paused.

"Clare, I'm home!" she heard Randall call from the bottom of the stairs.

Not really wanting to see him, she retreated back to her room. She wasn't going to ignore her father, but she wasn't exactly going to be affable either. Whenever he will make an attempt to talk to her, she was going to simply give him a quick reply and then focus on whatever she was doing. Even in her head she knew it wasn't exactly foolproof or mature, but she didn't care; she just wanted to sit in her room and read to take her mind off the day that flipped her family life upside-down. She pulled her copy of _Haunted _by Chuck Palahniuk off her bookshelf before going back to her bed and beginning to read. She had only gotten through the first two pages when she heard a few soft thuds come from her door.

"What?" she asked, knowing that her dad would be the only one knocking. Sure enough, seconds later, Randall opened the door and stood in the doorframe.

"Hey, sweetie," Randall greeted, keeping his hand on the doorknob.

"Hey," she grumbled, trying to focus on her book.

"I haven't seen you all night."

_Just noticing that_? Clare sneered sarcastically in her head as she turned the page.

"It's been a long day," she answered, wishing she had enough guts to actually say the words in her brain.

"I see," he said. "How was work?"

"Fine," she shrugged.

"That's good," he responded, sensing Clare's unhappiness. "So . . . ready for your play tomorrow?"

"Why are you acting like nothing's happened?" she then demanded of him, suddenly averting her eyes from her novel to face Randall.

This was what Randall was expecting. She was angry, she was shocked, and, most of all, she was disgusted; he could see that in her eyes that were shining blue fire. He in drank a gulp of air before answering her question.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Will you end the engagement if we do?" she replied with a question of her own.

"You know I won't do that."

"Then I'm not saying anything," she finalized before turning back to her book. She was hoping to hear the door close and then footsteps evenly stepping away from her room. To her dismay, no such sound greeted her ears; instead, a voice did.

"We're going to talk about it sooner or later; it will be best if we get it over with."

"I've already talked to Mom and Eli," she said, her eyes focusing on a single word in the center of the page.

"But they aren't the ones marrying someone . . . well, at least not within the next few months."

She noticed how he referenced her and Eli getting married one day and she thought it was not the right time to bring it up in conversation. Maybe this was his way of getting Clare to talk about his potential marriage to Alyson or maybe he was still trying to get used to the fact that she and Eli were still going through with their own plan. Either way, Clare knew he was not going to let this go.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked, looking at him again.

"I want to know if you're okay with this," Randall explained.

"Do you really need me to tell you that?"

"I guess not," he concluded, judging by her bitterness. "But . . . I want to be sure you're okay with this."

"Does it matter? You just said that you're not going to end it with her."

"Clare, I know you and Alyson have had your disagreements in the past, but that shouldn't affect the future she and I could have together."

_Nice, Dad_, she snarled in her head at how shallow he was being. She knew he did not mean to sound that way on intention, but he was and Clare was getting more aggravated by the second.

"I just don't see why you would ask her to marry you after what happened," she spoke.

At those words, Randall released the handle, stepped farther into the room, and began wringing his hands together.

"Well, sweetheart, actually . . . we've been engaged for a month now and we were going to tell you and Melissa at the end of dinner, but everything happened and we didn't really get the chance."

Clare's jaw dropped. Randall had hid this from her for this long?

"So you've been engaged for a month and you didn't bother to tell me?" she coerced.

"We wanted to find the right time to tell everyone. And, after everything's that been going on between me and Eli and you and Alyson, we could not find the time so we decided to just tell everyone today."

She huffed, turned away from him, and shook her head in disapproval.

"Look, I know you're upset about me not being here every other week, but I'll still see you. I'll go by the Dot every day and stuff if you want to do that. And I'm sure Mom and Alyson wouldn't mind you coming over the apartment on a few school nights. You get to see all of us during the week then."

"Perfect," Clare sighed sarcastically. "I get to see Alyson more; sounds great."

No longer having the desire to read, she closed her book with a snap and walked back to her shelf to put it away.

"I know you two didn't exactly get off to a great start, but give her a chance."

"I gave her a chance. I sat back for the longest time and let her say all this crap about me and I'm tired of it."

"Then give her a second chance."

"I did," Clare snapped. "She blew that one by talking bad about Eli when she doesn't even know him."

"Honey, I know she's not your mom and it's awkward to see me be wed to someone else, but –."

"Dad, I know she's not replacing Mom or anything like that."

"Then why are you against this?"

"Because I just don't like her, okay?"

Not wanting to fight with his daughter, Randall took an allaying breath and continued.

"Clare, Alyson's a great person once you get to know her. She's funny, a good listener –."

"_Ha_!" Clare barked.

"She's caring," he pressed on, overlooking the short laugh of acrimony, "she's helpful, and she's smart."

"She's also hypocritical, judgmental, rude, and cruel."

"So you're going to let the few arguments you've had determine the relationship you'll have with her?"

"She doesn't care about what she did or what she said!"

"I think it'll be a lot better if we just put the dinner and yesterday behind us and move forward."

"And wait for her to insult me or Eli again? No way!" she said pointblank.

"Look, I'm giving Eli another chance. You should do the same for Alyson."

"Is _that_ why you forgave him? Just so you can get me to forgive _her_?" Clare demanded.

"No," he answered with honesty. "I'm just saying that it is the right thing to do."

Clare continued to be disbelieved that her father not only expected her to go along with their upcoming nuptials, but also put this feud to bed like it was nothing of importance. It was outrageous and, in all honesty, it annoyed her that Randall thought that it was not a big deal.

"She talks to me like she did, humiliates me in front of my boyfriend, and she doesn't bother to apologize for any of it, and you expect me to just brush it off like it's _nothing_?"

"Clare, I love her. If you could just consider a fresh start with her, I would really appreciate it."

She could not help but roll her eyes.

"Fat chance," she spat.

Randall really hoped that Clare would comprehend his feelings by now, but she didn't and he was starting to get impatient. She was usually understanding about certain circumstances, but she was being really firm in this instance.

"I thought you would be happy that I'm marrying someone who –."

"Okay," she interrupted, "so you want me to happy for and Alyson, but when Eli and I first mentioned getting married, you were against it? Hypocritical much?"

"I had my reasons for that!" Randall argued. "You lost your virginity, I didn't trust him, you're my daughter, and you're seventeen."

"I have reasons to not like Alyson because of everything she's said to me, and you're my dad who just got divorced."

"Clare, your mom and I got divorced a year ago and it's time that I move on with my life."

"With the woman who treats your daughter like crap?" she said rhetorically.

"Now hold on a second –."

"You know it's true!"

"You don't exactly treat her right either!"

"Hey, I tried to be nice to her! I tried to keep my mouth shut and stay calm, but I can only take so much from her!"

Randall's face was turning red. She was refusing to see any reason. Was this how she felt when he was against Eli? He was not sure, but he _was _the father in this situation and she was still a child right now, so it was not exactly her place to make such assumptions when she still had more to learn about life. He did not want them to get more upset with each other than they were right now, so he thought it'd be best for him to remove himself from the situation as quickly as possible.

"I'm done talking about this, Clare," he said, stepping out of her room and closing the door behind him.

"Good, 'cause I am too!" she hollered. She clenched her fists in hair, collapsed on her bed, and growled. After she let out the noise for a matter of seconds, she turned her head to her nightstand and saw her cell phone. Still furious about what just happened, she took her phone off charge and it picked up before calling the first person she knew would give a damn about how she felt and what was bothering her.

"Hey," Eli greeted after two rings.

"Hey," she replied, standing up and walking around her room while she spoke to him.

"How's it going?" he asked.

"Well, my dad and I just got into a fight," she answered bitterly.

"What happened?"

"I told him that I'm not happy because he's marrying Alyson."

"How did he take that?"

"He said that I'm being too stubborn just because I don't like her. Then he tried to convince me that she is a good person and that she cares for others and blah, blah, blah and I told him that I'll believe it when I see it! And after that he asked me _why _I don't like her; it's not exactly a mystery!"

She began to rant at this point, but Eli knew she needed someone to vent to and he was willing to listen.

"I told him why and he thinks I should just forgive and forget! How can I forgive someone if they don't even attempt to apologize after they say all this crap to me?"

"Clare, take a breath," he instructed, not wanting her to get overheated.

She inhaled and exhaled slowly.

"He's been lying to me," she notified him in a more relaxed voice.

"What?"

"He has been engaged to her for a month."

"Why hasn't he told you?"

"He was going to tell me and Melissa at that dinner, but I left and there was no good time after that, evidently."

She took a breath and tried to mitigate her thoughts. She knew that she couldn't tell Randall to break up with her because there would be no avail, but she did not want to just let this happen before her eyes.

"I don't know what to do," she told him.

"Have you tried talking to your mom?" he asked, knowing that Mrs. Edwards usually gave helpful advice.

"She called an hour ago and she said that I should just accept it since I can't do anything about it; and she and my dad want me to get to know Alyson."

"Maybe that's what you should do," Eli suggested.

Clare stopped in her tracks; ever since Alyson had come into her dad's life, Eli had always been on her team, but now he was saying that she should actually spend time with this woman?

"Are you crazy? Why should I get to know her? She's a bitch!"

"I know, but she's also your dad's fiancée and, maybe once she gets to know you a bit more, she'll be nicer and the two of you may actually get along."

Clare wanted to vomit at the word "fiancée" more than anything, but she still couldn't believe that _Eli_ was saying these words.

"You really think that could happen?" she said, disbelieved and aggravated.

"It could be a long shot, but it can happen. And, since she's going to be a part of your family and everything, maybe it'll be good for you to take the first step; she might respect you for it for all we know."

"You know that's not going to happen! She's treated me like nothing from day one and that's not going to change!"

"It might," he debated. "Just give it time; and, if your dad's happy, that's the important thing."

"You're on his side now?" she scoffed, still astounded that he was making these suggestions and forming these theories.

"I'm not on anyone's side."

"You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Clare, hear me out on this. You still have every right to be mad at Alyson, but if you accept the fact that she won't apologize, everything will blow over and get better."

"Eli, I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a stepmother who has nothing better to do than criticize me."

"Let it go in one ear and out the other," he advised. "You're not going to see her too often anyway."

"So you want me to apologize to her and let keep treating me like she is now?"

"I'm not saying you have to apologize to her," he informed her. "I'm just saying that you should let everything go for now, but if it keeps happening, you confront her about it and then hope that she'll understand everything."

"I can't just let it go! In case you've forgotten, I left a restaurant _in tears_ because of that woman! You can't ask me to suck it up and move on with my life!"

Eli tried to stay calm, but Clare's contumacy was starting to become too much for him to handle without shouting. He really hoped that she would see where he was coming from and take his advice, but instead she was revolting against him.

"I'm not a fan of Alyson either, but if your dad loves her –."

"He knows how I feel about her! How can he get married to someone I can't stand?"

"He's _happy_ and he has feelings that he hasn't had for anyone since your mom; that must be out of this world for him. And, if he loves her that much, maybe it would not be such a bad thing if he married her."

"'Not be such a bad thing'?" she quoted. "You saw how she is when you met her yesterday. Do you really want me to have _that_ a stepparent?"

"You won't be seeing her often!" Eli disputed. "And she makes your dad happy; that should be enough reason to be a bit understanding and accept that this is happening."

"But shouldn't I have a say in this? I'm his daughter, so I should approve, or actually _like_, my stepmother."

"That's the pot calling the kettle black, isn't it?" Eli stated. "_You_ were still going to marry me when he and I didn't get along!"

"That's different!"

"How?" he asked.

"We were together for over a year before we started talking about marriage; he's only known her for six months!"

"Well, everyone falls in love at their own pace and maybe Alyson and your dad just hit it right off and now this is what they want."

"But he should think about his daughter's feelings!"

"What about you? Have _you_ tried thinking about his feelings? Because, lately, I haven't heard you say how glad you are that your dad has finally found someone _he _could be happy with!"

That was the final blow; it was bad enough that she learned that she would have to put up with Alyson for the rest of her life, but now Eli, the one person she thought she could come to with everything, was making her out to be a selfish human being.

"You're making me sound like a coldhearted bitch," she told him.

"No, I just think you're being too stubborn about this."

Clare scoffed. First she got this news about the engagement, then she and Randall got into a World War III, and now she and Eli were butting heads. Was there no one in the universe who would be generous enough to give her a shoulder to cry on or offer to suck this poison out of her system?

"You know, I called you so you could back me up here or at least care about what I have to say!"

"You think I don't care?" he restated, appalled that she would think that. "If I didn't care about what you had to say, I would've ended this conversation a few minutes ago."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that, because I'm ending it right now!" she stated before hanging up her phone, furious and alone in the world.

* * *

"_We've tried so hard to understand_

_But we can't_

_We held the world out in our hands _

_And you ran away"_

_~"All We Know" by Paramore_

* * *

(Cricket Sounds)

Reviews?

Oh, and read "Yellow" by eclarefanxxx


	76. Broken

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you for your reviews! You guys are the best! Thanks Violet Rays, ilovetaylorswift13, sushi.23, simplecrafter, EClarexoxo, J.A.L.L, My world of Eli, BlackRabbit550, and IHeartSprinkles for your reviews! You are all amazing and I now feel terrible for considering the idea of ending this story! I promise that I will never do that again unless I start losing interest in this story (fingers crossed that doesn't become a possibility). Now, I know how and when this story is going to end, but we have a while before we get there. Buckle up to continue this crazy ride! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but I'll take that ice cream cone behind you.

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.

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How many of you looked behind you to see if there was an ice cream cone?

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Six

Broken

Eli was disgruntled from his dispute with Clare from the moment she hung up and it continued into the next morning. That was all he thought about as he got ready for school, drove to Degrassi, and stepped into its halls. He did not want him and Clare to butt heads with each other; he always hated it when they did, but he could not help but feel that she was being too hardheaded and was refusing to see the big picture.

He hoped that this day wouldn't be a repeat of all the other times they had a fight. He did not want to avoid her all day and refuse to speak to her, and he hoped that she felt the same way. He was unsure what his chances of Clare being calm were, but he was certain that he would find out if she stayed clear of his eye in English.

He opened his locker, trying not to think about the potentially horrible day ahead of him. He was putting a book in his locker when he felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around his side. He turned to his left and saw Clare clinging to him.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hey," Eli replied, half nonchalant, half surprised. "Uh . . ."

"It's an apology hug," she explained. "I'm sorry I yelled at you last night."

Eli stood there, a bit shocked that Clare was apologizing after all the defending she did a less than twelve hours ago. He was quiet and she was unsure whether it was because he had sore feelings towards her or if it was because he was thinking.

"Are you mad?" she asked, feeling worse about what happened the night before.

Eli closed his locker and turned to her; she unraveled her arms from him as he leaned against the locker. He did not want to think about their argument right now, but he did appreciate her apology. Before he forgave and forget, however, he wanted to be sure she saw the point he tried to make during that phone conversation.

"How're things with you and your dad?"

"Fine," she answered. "After we talked, I was thought about what you said and I saw your point. I told my dad afterwards that I'll be happy that he's happy and he's getting married to someone he loves, but it's going to take some time to accept that Alyson's going to become my stepmom."

"Are you gonna try to get to know her?"

"Well, she wants me and Melissa to be involved with planning the wedding, so I'll spend time with her and get to know her then. But I still don't see what my dad sees in her."

"Yeah, well, that's the thing about love: it can be simple to the couple, but not make any sense to the others around them."

Clare nodded in agreement before looking at Eli's eyes.

"I know you were just trying to help and what you suggested is probably the best thing to do instead of wishing for the impossible and taking it out on everyone when it's out of my control."

Eli then coiled his arms around her petite figure and she locked her hands behind his neck.

"I'm just glad things with you and your dad are okay," he said with honesty.

She gave him an appreciative simper as she felt a better atmosphere settle around them.

"Am I forgiven?" she asked with a hopeful grin.

"I don't know," Eli said, smirking.

Knowing what he was getting at, Clare pecked his warm lips.

"How about now?"

"Maybe," he answered, continuing to grin.

Rolling her eyes, she plastered her lips on his and kept them there for many seconds, brushing her tongue against his bottom lip in the process.

"Now?" she asked, leaning away.

"Yes," he said.

She grinned as he wrapped his arms all the way around her waist and gave her a hug, which she openly returned. She held on to him for at least half a minute when he kissed her head.

"Are you okay?" he asked her once he could look in her eyes.

"Yeah," she answered. "Still in a bit of shock, that's all."

"Well, I have a way to get your mind off it," he stated.

"What's that?"

"The opening night of our play is tonight."

"Oh yeah," Clare said, relieved she had something to take her mind off of her dad and future stepmother. Then the nerves began to hit her in the stomach; sure, she wasn't going to be performing on stage, but her and Eli's writing was going to be acted out in front of an audience and they were going to be judging (and possibly criticizing) it. "Great, now I'm terrified."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. If they perform tonight like they've been doing at rehearsals for the past few months, the audience will be blown away."

The bell rang overhead and Eli kept a single arm around her shoulders as he escorted her to her homeroom.

"So do you really think everything's going to go well?" Clare asked him as they ventured down the hall.

"I'm sure everyone's gonna like it," he answered. "Wedid write it after all."

"Oh, you really think we're that awesome?" she smirked.

"I _know_ we're that awesome," he rephrased. "We're geniuses; there's no point in denying it."

Clare chortled as they arrived outside her class.

"I'll see you later, Mr. Genius," she said.

"Back at ya, _Mrs_. Genius," he smirked before kissing her lips and stepping back down the hall.

()()

The cast and crew were quickly preparing for the first performance of _Feudal Romance_ that night leaving everyone involved under a certain amount of pressure. Everything costume, prop, and set related was complete and the show was to begin in a matter of minutes. There just had to be a few last-minute situations to sort out and everything would be ready to roll.

Thankfully, Peter allowed Eli and Clare to have two days off work to help with the play, so they were able to help put up the sets and everything with the other members of the club. Adam would have been helping them, but he had to attend to his other responsibilities as director.

"Places everyone!" he announced a minute before the play was set to begin. "We're on in sixty."

The last second adjustments were made, the actors took their places, and everyone behind the scenes and in the audience waited in anticipation for the play to begin.

The curtain was raised as the first scene began, displaying the scene to the crowd. The actor playing the leading man stood there in his medieval costume on the side of the stage, "reading" a roll of parchment while a group of his "companions" joined him.

It was not long until the audience was completely engulfed in the play. They were already very intrigued and finding enjoyment the acts that the students were putting on for them. Sure, there were a couple of people who looked like they could've cared less about the play, but there was always a rotten apple in every bunch. The general reaction satisfied the two playwrights, director, and supervisor; they were a bit worried about what everyone was going to think, but that fear decreased as every line was spoken.

"Everyone seems to be enjoying it," Eli observed as he stood beside Clare as they viewed it all from the side of the stage.

"Hopefully they'll feel the same way when they finally confess their love for each other."

"We'll know within a scene or two."

Clare continued to look at the stage. Well, that is to say that she was _looking_, but she was not _watching_; she was staring into space as though she was in deep thought or as if something was distracting her.

"You okay?" he asked, noticing that Clare seemed a little distant. She simply nodded in response.

"I'm fine."

Eli, however, did not believe her. He was thankful that a long, dramatic, emotional scene between the two leads and no other preparations had to be made backstage, therefore giving him the opportunity to get Clare to unveil her heart to him.

"Your dad and Alyson still bothering you?" he guessed, stepping behind her and hugging her waist. He felt Clare shrug against him.

"It's no big deal," she lied.

Eli sighed in exasperation at how she was keeping her guard up so strong, especially when she knew that she could talk to him despite what was on her mind.

"Usually when you say it isn't a big deal, it is a big deal."

Clare was glad that Eli was willing to let her spill her emotions to him again even after what happened last night, but she was slightly apprehensive at the same time.

"It's complicated," she answered.

"I can try to follow along if you want to talk."

Although slightly reluctant because she did not want them to get into another fight, Clare gave it a bit of thought and took a breath.

"I don't see what he sees in Alyson, but I want to understand why he wants to marry her. Maybe if I do see something good in her, I'll be happier about this, but I haven't notice anything about her. I _want_ to be over-the-hills happy for him, but I can't be. I do want him to be happy and I feel bad to saying these things about someone he loves because I've been there when he said stuff about you. I should've just sucked this up from the beginning and be happy that he loves someone instead of being a hypocrite about it.

"But I also . . . did not want expect this to get this far with those two. I just thought that he would break up with her eventually and everything would stay the same; now he's _marrying _her and I can't do anything. I want him to be happy, but at the same time it feels like that . . . that . . ."

"That everything is changing too fast?" he said.

Clare nodded, glad that he found a way to explain how she was feeling.

"Sorry for dumping all of this on you and stuff."

"It's fine," he assured her, letting her know that this was not bothering him at all.

"It just feels like there's hardly a second when I can just sit back and not worry about stuff. I was able to on Saturday when it was just you and me on our date, but other than that I've had to deal with Alyson, the play, school, and . . ."

He then heard her sob and saw her wipe her eyes.

"And other stuff and I just don't want to worry about anything else, you know? I just want to smell the roses and not worry about things."

Really wishing that Clare was not under so much stress and did not have anything on her plate to dwell on, Eli put his lips to her neck, hoping that this would soothe her to a certain extent. Judging by her absent protest, the small smile that twitched at her lips for a second, and the small, quiet sigh that escaped her throat, he assumed that his kiss was helping a bit.

"Summer will be here before we know it," he reminded her as he pulled away. "One month from now, you can sit back and not worry about school, plays, or anything."

"I just have to be sure not to lose my head before that."

"Don't worry," he said, making another attempt to ease her mind. "Just three more weeks."

"I know, but exams are coming up and all the stuff that comes at the end of the year is on its way, I'm stressing out about it, and this whole thing with my dad and Alyson is not really helping."

Wishing that Clare was not carrying such a heavy bag of problems, he tightened his arms around her and kissed behind her ear.

"Clare, don't get offended when I ask you this, okay?"

"Ask me what?"

"Are you on your period?"

He saw Clare's face turn red; he thought it was from anger and he prepared for an outburst of anger.

"How did you know?" she asked quietly. She did not sound hurt or angry at all, much to Eli's surprise.

"I have this theory that when it comes along, you don't get fries with lunch like you usually do; you haven't gotten them all week, so that was a red flag. And you've been really on edge the last few days; I connected two and two together."

Clare put her head down slightly, not being able to believe that she had made it so obvious that she was on her cycle.

"I guess I am acting a bit on edge, aren't I?"

"Maybe a little," he admitted. "But it's not like you can help it."

She continued to stare at the ground.

"I guess your theory's been proven then."

"I guess so."

"Why do you even keep track of my periods?" she then asked, turning her head to look at him.

"For starters, so I know not to get onto your bad side. And, also, so I can be sure if there's a logical reason if you're . . ."

"Bitchy? Annoying? Insane?" she listed.

"Emotional," he said, finally finding a suitable word. "But it's a bit hard to tell at times because you usually don't get fries at the end of the month and sometimes in the middle."

"Yeah, it's a bit irregular."

"Which is exactly why I go by your fry consumption instead of waiting twenty-eight days and stuff," he explained.

"That actually sounds like a better way to keep up," she said. "You know, it's kind of creepy that you monitor my time of the month, but at least you care."

She looked to the stage again, seeing how the dialogue between the two characters was beginning to dazzle the audience. While she watched, Eli was smirking and gazing at her. He held her, surprised and a bit touched that she opened up to him about not only the troubles in her heart, but her issues with Mother Nature.

Clare felt his eyes on him and turned his head up to face at him.

"What?" she asked.

"You just had a full conversation with me about your womanly issues," he mentioned.

"So?" she asked.

"Usually you're embarrassed talking about that stuff."

"Well, we've been together for some time and we're going to be married one day; I have to get used to talking to you about it sooner or later."

Eli continued smiling, pleased that she no longer felt awkward about it.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" he comforted her, hoping that she would not hold back with anything else that was bothering her no matter how small.

"I know I can," she grinned at him before he kissed her temple. "Thanks for putting up with me during my . . . _time_."

"It's no problem," he eased her. "As for your dad and Cruella de Vil, I'm sure everything will be okay. And I'm going to be here whenever you need to let off steam or something."

She turned her head back to him appreciatively before kissing his jaw.

"You're the best."

"I know," he said cockily.

Clare's heart was lighter after she heard Eli's words. Throughout the rest of the play, they were either assisting or standing together while observing the actors; they had to say that the people on stage were doing an amazing job. In fact, they were doing everything perfectly; it was as though they were born to play these roles. None of them messed up, forgot their lines, nothing of the sort; Adam was expecting something to go wrong, but nothing came along to harm the production at all. The biggest incident they had was when the dress of one of the supporting actresses tore, but that was easily repaired by someone who did the costumes, so any possible crisis was averted.

The final scene was upon them an hour and a half later and the two main characters of the play began to have their final conversation. In this scene, Jonathan had to tell Mary that he would always love her and he would only be truly happy while he was with her. Eli and Clare were standing backstage watching the final piece of the plot unravel. As they approached the last minute of the production and the actor began to speak some of his last lines, Eli leveled his lips with Clare's ear while wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"_I shall travel to the ends of the Earth and back again if I must_," he quoted along with the actor. "_But, no matter how far I travel, the perils I face, or the people I encounter, you shall always be the one of whom my heart belongs_."

Smiling, Clare turned to him. She had that small idea that Eli was not only reciting lines, but also telling her how much he loved her.

"_I believe you, but I'm never going to let you go away unless you take my heart with you_," she said in unison as Mary spoke on the stage.

"_Fear not, for you are always with me_," Eli and Jonathan said together. "_Now, I know I've done wrong to you many times, but may I ask you this one request_?"

"_You may_."

"_Will you take my hand in marriage_?"

There was silence for a moment as the girl playing Mary acted out her reaction. While she acted cheerfully amazed, Clare waited patiently with a grin on her face and in her eyes until she spoke again.

"_I will . . . if only it means I'm yours until the end of the times_."

"_Believe me, that shall be my dream come true_," both men said.

Eli and Clare's lips met at the same moment the leads shared their final kiss. The curtain closed as both couples continued to kiss and they soon heard the round of applause from the audience. The truth lied there before them: opening night was a success.

()()

The entire cast and crew were heading to Little Miss Steaks to celebrate the success of opening night. Clare and Eli were going to go in Morty and they agreed to meet Adam there since he was driving his car. They arrived there after a short drive, but they did not see any sign of their friend. They decided to wait for him inside the restaurant so they could all get a table together.

The couple stood near the entrance, waiting for Adam. As they stood there, they saw many members from the Drama Club arrive; they took notice of Eli and Clare and congratulated them on writing such a spectacular script. They all kept praising them, giving them hugs, shook hands, and pats on the back.

"I think we're a hit," Eli stated as he and Clare bade their thanks to their eighth admirer.

"I won't deny that," Clare agreed, staring out the window to keep an eye out for Adam's car. Seconds later, she saw the Nissan known as Han Solo pulling into a parking space. "There he is."

Minutes later, Adam, Eli, and Clare were sitting at a table that they had to themselves while everyone else found their own place to sit. They each made their order before they started to talk to each other about the production.

"I say that the play was a success," Adam said immediately. "Everyone loved it and there were hardly any setbacks or anything."

"You sound relieved," Clare observed.

"Well, it's my first and last time directing a Degrassi play; I didn't really want opening night to suck."

"Good thing it didn't then," Eli said. "Now we just have to watch it be performed two more times and then our work will forever be just a part of Degrassi Drama history, only to be remembered by the ghosts who haunt the auditorium," Eli said dramatically.

"You are so weird," Adam stated.

Eli rolled his eyes at Adam's comment.

"Tell me something I don't know."

"How are you going to be able to live with this guy for the rest of your life?" Adam then asked Clare.

"I'll figure it out," Clare said as she put a hand on Eli's knee.

"Anyway, the point is that we have two more performances after this, then two weeks of actual schooling, then it's exams, and then graduation and prom!" Adam declared.

"And my boys will be all grown up and going to university," Clare said in playful sadness. "And then it would just be me all alone at Degrassi."

"Hey, we're not leaving until the end of summer," Eli mentioned.

"Yeah, don't plan on getting rid of us that quickly," Adam added.

Their food arrive shortly afterward and the trio sat there and ate their dinner of victory . . . yes, maybe naming that was a bit extreme, but, frankly, the three could not care less. The fact that the opening night of the play went on without mishap made them feel like champions and they could not be happier.

* * *

"_The worst is over now _

_And we can breathe again _

_I wanna hold you high_

_You steal my pain away"_

_~"Broken" by Seether featuring Amy Lee_

* * *

Fun fact: my sister helped me name Adam's car Han Solo.

I'm not going to lie, this was probably not the best chapter ever, but I think we needed a break from the drama and put in the opening night of the play. I hope you guys liked it anyway, but, if you didn't, I promise you will like the next chapter A LOT more . . . I hope. Review if you want an update tomorrow or the day after. And, if you're a Harry Potter fan and have a love for comedy, check out the story "A Midterm Day's Nightmare" by my real-life BFF, GrippoMustaine1996.

Review please!


	77. My Last Breath

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you all for your reviews! I love you guys (seriously, your reviews are the reason I still want to publish this story). I'm trying to start doing this thing when I send a PM to everyone who reviews if they have an account or on Twitter if they're on there. If I did not do it last chapter, I am SO sorry! I'm going to start doing it now! Shorter chapter today than usual; once again, it's a bit of a filler, but I hope you guys like it. BTW: I saw on Twitter that Munro Chambers ships both Eli/Imogen AND EClare, but says that EClare is meant to be! I SANG WHEN I READ THAT (no joke)! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Bubble, bubble, toil, and trouble, I don't own Degrassi on the double.

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Seven

My Last Breath

The halls of Degrassi were buzzing about the play the next morning; whether they read the review in the _Degrassi Daily _or saw it the night before, _Feudal Romance_ was definitely a hit among the students and staff of the school. The Drama Club got praised all day by teachers, their peers, and a few times over the announcements. They knew that the lime light would fade from them eventually, but they all enjoyed it until that moment had arrived. The play was performed for the second time on Thursday night. After yet another full house, it was proven by the round of applause and standing ovation from the audience that this performance was just as amazing as the first. It was now Friday night and there was only ten minutes left on the clock until the final production of _Feudal Romance_. Everything from the last two nights had gone extremely well and everyone was hoping that the third not would be jinxed.

Clare had just got done helping a few people make a few last-second adjustments to the set before going backstage. She did not notice Eli catching up with her, but she realized his presence as he snatched her around the waist.

"There's the leading lady of my life," Eli smiled.

"Hey, dork," she replied with a playful chuckle.

"Ouch," he joked. "That hurt my feelings."

Clare turned around and unwrapped his arms from her before she laced her fingers through his.

"I'm sorry," she said with a grin. "Can I make it up to you?"

"Well . . . I guess you could."

"Say no more," she smiled before pecking his lips.

"Much better," he approved.

"Good," she said. "By the way, I might think you're a dork at times, but you're a sexy dork."

"Really?" he smirked. "Well, in that case, I suppose you deserve this . . ."

He put his lips to her neck and began sucking on it. She smiled at the feeling of him on her skin and she felt a bit crestfallen when he pulled away; however, after he detached himself from her, his eyes met hers and their warmth made her feel happy again.

"Thank you," she smiled at him.

"You're most welcome, my dear," he said formally.

Clare giggled a bit before starting another conversation.

"One more performance to go. What do you say to an hour at our special place once this is over?" she intrigued of him.

"Perfecto," he said simply. "Until then, I got us the best seats in the house to watch our masterpiece come to life."

"Oh really?" she grinned.

"Yep," he answered. He let go of one of her hands and led her to one of the wings of the stage that was near the front. They stood there and they could see the entire stage from this angle.

"I like it," she approved.

"I thought you would," he smirked before kissing her cheek.

"Five minutes!" Adam called.

"I'll be right back," Clare then said.

"You're going to miss the final performance," Eli mentioned.

"No, I won't. I'll be back before the curtain rises."

"Alright," he accepted.

"I'll be back in a minute," she promised, walking away from him.

Eli gazed at her as she left him there and he kept his eyes on her until she was out of sight. He soon began feeling hollow inside; he really wanted to try spending every second possible with Clare until he had to leave for university in a few short months. He knew she would come back from wherever she went in a matter of minutes, but he couldn't help but think that those were the minutes he would not be able to spend with her. He was about to go deeper into his thoughts when the voice of Adam filled his ears.

"Three minutes!" he called to the members of the club before walking towards Eli.

"Okay . . . actors here . . . stage set . . . lighting ready . . . all we have to do now is hope that the show goes on without any issues."

"It'll be fine," Eli said, his mind not really with the play right now. Adam noticed his demeanor and grew curious.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked his friend.

Eli exhaled through his nose.

"I'm going to miss Clare when I go to Ottawa, that's all."

"What brought this on?" he asked, not having any clue how the University of Ottawa came to his mind while they had a production to conduct.

"I sent a scholarship application in a few days ago," Eli explained. "It's all now starting to become real; Clare and I are going to have a long-distance relationship for a year, _four_ if decides that she doesn't want to go there."

"I'm sure that's not going to be the case; she's been talking to me about going there ever since you got accepted," Adam informed him.

"But still, I'm gonna miss her until then."

"Well, you two have a whole summer together and you guys will make long-distance work. And, if you guys start having issues, give me a ring and I'll sort you both out."

Eli cracked a grin at those words; whenever there was a problem, it was always Adam to the rescue.

"Thanks, man," he said.

"No prob. Just remember that you still need to keep in touch with me as well."

"Will do," he agreed. "Unless I find some other dude who plays bass, drives a Nissan, reads comics, and lets me kick his ass on the Xbox."

"Hey, I don't let you win," Adam protested. "You just practice more than I do."

"Call it what you want, but I do beat you every time."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he accepted in exasperation.

()()

Clare felt the promise ring on her skin as she washed her hands at the one of the sinks in the bathroom. Although it had been a bit more than a month since she and Eli made this official, she was still amazed about it; she found someone who was actually wanted to be her husband one day and she was pleased that it was someone as gentle and as sweet as Eli.

Continuing to smile, Clare rinsed the soap off her hands, dried them off, and began walking towards the exit of the restroom. What she didn't notice was someone right behind her emerging from one of the stalls; the person raised a heavy textbook and struck Clare in the head with it as hard as she could.

Clare then fell to the ground, unconscious.

()()

"Where _is_ Clare?" Eli groaned when the play began. "She said she'd be back by now."

"She's probably in the bathroom," Adam reassured. "You know how long girls can take in there."

()()

Clare's head was throbbing. It was strange, one second she was leaving the restroom and now she had this pain. How did that happen? She felt her back against something cold and metal as she sat on a floor with her legs folded underneath her. She then noticed that her arms were raised above her head. She opened her eyes and blinked a few times to the room around her; she didn't see anyone, but she realized that she was in the Art room. She turned her head upward as best she could and descried that she was against the supply closet. Panic coursed through her when she saw that her hands were bound to each of the handles. Many fabrics, braided yarn, and thin rope were woven tightly around both of wrists, ergo keeping her attached to the cabinet.

Terrified as to what was going on and what could possibly happen, she began yanking at the binds in hope that they would get loose, but it wasn't working. In fact, they got tighter with every tug and she soon lost the circulation in her hands. She was trapped.

"HELP!" she called in hope that someone would hear her. "HELP! HELP!"

Clare then heard the sound of liquid hitting ground in the distance and she smelt the odor of kerosene. Her fear increased by a thousand notches; her heart began pound and she felt the blood swimming through her body in fear. She made another attempt to get free, but it was not use.

"HELP!" she called again.

"Save your breath, Clare!" shouted a voice from the hallway.

Clare's voice got caught in her throat; she recognized that voice although she had not heard it for some time. Seconds later, she saw a slender female came into the room, using a large, red, plastic gas can in her hand to continue scattering what was left of the kerosene on the floor.

"You," Clare growled.

The girl turned around and, indeed, the face of Kate Parker was looking in her direction, an evil smile coming to her lips.

"Obviously."

She moved towards the supply closet, pouring liquid onto the floor in the process. If she calculated this correctly, she should have enough to put a small half circle around where Clare was sitting. Unfortunately for her, by the time she was a foot away from Clare's right side, all that was left in the container was a few drops.

"Damn," she muttered to herself. "I really thought I would have enough. Oh well, I'm sure it'll spread."

Clare had an unsettling hunch as to what Kate was going to do, but she prayed that she was wrong . . . although she knew the odds were against her.

"What are you doing, Kate?" she demanded, hoping someone else would smell the stench of gas and come to investigate.

"What? Eli's brilliant little girlfriend can't figure it out?" Kate asked, throwing the container to the side and standing over Clare.

"_Why_ are you doing this?" she rephrased. She really wanted to believe that Kate would not do anything drastic; she knew what Kate was capable of doing, but she never would've dreamed that she would go this far.

"You've been in my way for far too long," Kate glowered at her.

"What?"

"You have prevented me from being with Eli for long enough. It's my turn now."

Clare could not wrap her head around this and she was becoming as angry as she was scared . . . and she was on the verge of terrified.

"You're still hanging on to a promise you and Eli made back in grade one?"

"No," Kate snapped. "I'm holding on to something I've found in him months ago; it's clear that Eli has a better connection with me than he does with you. If you accepted this long ago and stopped living in this dream world of yours, I would not be doing this."

"_You're _the one living in a dream world!" Clare retorted, tears of fear coming stinging her eyes. "He's told you constantly that he does _not_ have feelings for you. Let it go and don't do anything you'll regret."

She knew this was a feeble attempt to get Kate to let her go, but her brain could not work properly while it was in panic mode.

"He has feelings for me," she sneered at Clare. "He's just too consumed in his so-called love for you to notice it. Once you're not around, however, I'll be there and he'll see how wrong he was in saying that he doesn't love me."

"You're crazy," Clare said pointblank. "You really think Eli is going to go to you once he finds out?"

"He won't find out."

"You know he will; he can put the pieces together."

"Well, even if that's so, no one will be able to prove it. And at least I know that he won't forget me since I'm the one who did this to you."

"Why would you want to do that to someone you care about?"

"We all have to make sacrifices for those we love and this is how far I'm willing to go for him."

Clare could not understand how this was going to show Eli that Kate cared about him, but she did not have time to go dissecting the way her brain worked; she had to figure out a way to get herself out of this before it was too late. She could not move, so she used the only thing she had in her possession . . . her voice.

"HELP!" she began hollering again. "SOMEONE HELP!"

"Scream all you want, Clare," she sneered evilly. "Everyone's in the auditorium watching the play; it's only you and me in this part of the school. No one is going to hear you."

But Clare kept yelling, pleading with God that she would get someone's attention. Getting annoyed at the useless screaming, Kate raised her hand before smacking Clare across the face; she could clearly see the imprint her hand made on Clare's right cheek as she leaned down to see Clare eye-to-eye.

"You might want to stay quiet," she advised. "You're going to need all the air you can get."

She saw the tears of fear in Clare's eyes and she grinned.

"I really should tell Eli you said goodbye . . ." She continued to smile wickedly before straightening up on her feet and noticing the ring resting on Clare's finger; it disgusted her knowing the Eli was planning on spending the rest of his life with someone who would never love him as much as she did . . . at least that's what she believe. Standing firm in her certainty that this promise to get married should've never been created, Kate put her fingers around the ring and slid it off Clare's hand before putting it one of the pockets of her jeans. "But I won't."

Without another word, Kate stepped out of the room, following the trail of kerosene that she made; it led from the Art room all the way to one of the doors that led into the school. She heard all of Clare's cries for help echo through the halls as she traveled towards the exit.

Once she arrived, Kate faced the halls one more time, knowing that no one else on this Earth will see Clare again. No one would be able to prove that she did this; all evidence that would point to her will burn and never be seen. Keeping these thoughts in mind, along with her love and desire to be with Eli, she reached into her free pocket and pulled out a small box of matches. She put the red tip of one of the many sticks against the striking surface and prepared herself for what was to be the boldest move she would ever make . . . even bolder to when she kissed Eli those two times many month ago.

This was it . . . this the moment of which all her aspirations will be fulfilled . . . and it was all due to the power of heat, flames, and passion . . .

Kate lit the match and grinned maniacally before dropping it. The burning tip of the match met the flammable liquid and, in a matter of seconds, fire was snaking down the hall. Grinning at what she had done, she stepped back before she got herself burnt. She watched victoriously as the flames traveled down the halls, knowing that it was a matter of time until the Art room would be engulfed with flames. She pulled Clare's ring out of her pocket and gazed at it with her smile still on her face.

"So sorry, Eli," she said to it. "It looks like your little bride-to-be isn't going to make it to the wedding."

Smiling at herself, she pocketed the ring, turned on her heel, and exited the school . . .

* * *

"_Safe inside myself_

_Are all my thoughts of you_

_Sweet raptured light_

_It ends here tonight"_

_~"My Last Breath" by Evanescence_

* * *

Who wants coffee? I would rather take reviews, but I would not object to a cappuccino. Reviews . . . maybe . . . please?


	78. New Divide

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

OVER EIGHT HUNDRED REVIEWS! OVER 20 REVIEWS IN LESS THAN 12 HOURS! OH MY BOB! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING! Thanks for the SPECTACULAR reviews! That's all I'm going to say, because no words can say how much I appreciate your reviews, adding to favorites, the whole shebang! I also thank my mother and sister for assisting me with some vocabulary and accuracy and my dad just because he's awesome! Yeah, I love family! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . and I'm too lazy to think of something clever today, so just read, my pretties, read!

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Eight

New Divide

Everyone in the auditorium was completely unaware to the flames that were surfing down the halls of Degrassi; the play was continuing and the crowd was occupied by observing the actors. Adam and Eli were standing in the wings of the stage, watching the play go by. Both of them were standing there, trying not to get knots in their stomachs; Clare had never been gone this long just to go to the bathroom before and now she had been missing for at least twenty minutes. It was not making sense and they were becoming puzzled.

"She's probably just on the phone to Alli in the hall," Eli said, trying to think of logical reason as to why she was not in the room with them while trying to calm himself down as well as Adam.

"Yeah," Adam agreed, attempting to shake his curiosity as well. "That's it."

The flames had just started at this point, although the only people aware as of now were Clare and Kate. Remaining oblivious, Eli was pacing backstage, getting anxious. They were halfway through the first act of the play and Clare had still not returned. Everyone was proceeding as usual, until . . .

_Beep! Beep!_

Eli and Adam turned to each other as the actors on stage came to a pause. They recognized those sounds as the fire alarm; they had practice evacuations once a month, so they were familiar with the noise. But why would there be a fire drill going off during an afterschool event? There was no reason for them to be going off right now . . .

Unless it wasn't a drill.

"Remain calm, everyone!" Hannigan instructed, stepping out onto the stage to appease the slightly panicked audience. "I need you all to go through the emergency exit in an orderly fashion! Come on everyone, let's go!"

All the other teachers there began showing the students, parents, relatives, and the rest of the audience the way out of the building and it wasn't long until everyone began to evacuate at a gradual pace.

"You don't really think there's a fire, do you?" Eli asked as he, Adam, and everyone else backstage began following the rest of the crowd.

"No idea!" he replied over the loudness.

The two of them moved towards the emergency exit while Simpson, Hannigan, and other teachers directing everyone to get out as quickly as possible. When they were halfway to the door, Eli noticed that Clare had not returned to the group.

"Adam, what about Clare?" he hollered over the noise.

"Oh my God!" he exclaimed also coming to the realization that Clare was not with them. The duo hurriedly removed themselves from the sea of humans and stood to the side. They watched many bodies go by, keeping their eyes peeled for their friend; many people walked by them, not having the slightest clue that a person was missing in action. They were now living on the hope that Clare would suddenly appear before them and they could all get out safely . . . unfortunately, the hope was just a hope.

"ELI! ADAM!" Hannigan shouted to them from the door. "YOU TWO HAVE TO GET MOVING!"

Seeing that they had no choice or time to object, the boys went back to the thinning crowd. They were sure to get as close to end as possible just so they could try and see if Clare was still in the abundance of people. No luck came to them.

It wasn't long until they were some of the last people to get out of the building. Eli knew for definite that Clare was not in the crowd, so where could she possibly be? Eli kept looking over his shoulder in vain, hoping that she would just miraculously appear in the small group of people and get out of the school with them. He did not see any sign of her; not seeing her face in the valley of faces, Eli stopped in his tracks and looked over the heads of people so his eyes could travel the room one last time. People began shoving past him as he stood on his toes and skimmed the crowd.

"_Clare_!" he called over the called. No response came. "_Clare_!"

"Eli, come on!" Adam hollered over the sound of the crowd and the fire alarms. When Eli didn't move, Adam grasped the sleeve of his black jacket and began dragging him into the night.

"Adam, I can't see her anywhere!" he informed him as his friend continued to lead him.

"I'm sure she heard the alarms and she got out!" Adam assured him. "We have to get out of here!"

()()

Fire came to the Art room. The smoke was thickening by the second and it became nearly impossible for see. She had no choice but to inhale it and it was, literally, suffocating her. The flame came upon the room, burning what it could; they remained on the path of kerosene, but it was still dangerously close to her. She could feel their heat around her and she began panicking, but she knew there was nothing to be done. The smoke had infected her lungs, therefore she could no longer yell for help and any other noises she could make would just be drowned out by the alarms ringing through the halls.

Clare began to pray for her life, soul, family, friends, and Eli, knowing that these could very well be the last few minutes – maybe even seconds – of her life.

()()

Eli and Adam's ears were ringing by the time they were out because of the blaring sirens inside the school, but that was soon forgotten by the time they saw the front of the school. The fire was visible as plain as day and it was igniting the night. Everyone gasped in trepidation as they saw the fire coming alive inside Degrassi.

Through the glass doors they would see the flames streaking down the hallway and bombarding the glass windows, which had been shattered by the pressure given off by the happenings in the school. Only one door had flames coming from it, however, and that was the same door Kate had stepped out of moments before, although no one else knew so as of yet. The fire had slowly begun sweeping the top of the entrance to the school, damaging and burning it. Some flames had escaped the blaze and attacked the sign above the entrance the read _Degrassi Community School_, giving it scorch marks. The letters R, A, both S's, and I in _Degrassi_ and the C, O, and M of _Community_ were blackened within a matter of seconds and along with some of the building above it. Ashes, smoke, and burnt debris were flying out of the school, making the group of audience and Drama Club members step away from it.

"The fire department, police, and paramedics are on their way!" Simpson announced in the distance. "Is anybody hurt?"

Many people shook their heads or answered "no", but there were a few people going into shock who needed medical attention. However, not even the best medicine in the world would be able to help Eli and Adam; seeing that there truly was a fire increased their fear by a million notches, for Clare was still nowhere to be found.

"_Clare_!" Eli called, turning to the crowd. He cupped his hands around his mouth, hoping that it would make his voice travel farther. "_Clare_!"

"We'll find her," Adam promised. "She's gotta be around here somewhere."

Slightly panicked, Eli and Adam began going through the groups of people staring at Degrassi as they went on their search; they looked at every face in the crowd, but not one face belonged to Clare Edwards.

"Do you see her?" Adam asked, continuing to look over the heads of many people.

"No," Eli answered, more terror consuming him. He then turned his head to the right and saw someone sitting standing a safe distance from the school. The fire allowed him to get a good look at this person and saw who it was. Kate was standing there, staring at the school as she held a miniscule item in her fingers; Eli could not tell what it was, but he got a horrible sinking feeling when he saw the smirked etched on her face . . .

Then his suspicions kicked in . . .

Acting exclusively on fear and not on any proof, Eli ran towards Kate. She saw him coming in her peripheral vision and quickly turned in his direction while quickly placing the ring in her pocket.

"Where is she?" Eli demanded as he faced her.

"She who?" she said nonchalantly.

"You know who!" Eli growled. "Clare! Where is she?"

"Why should I know? She's _your_ girlfriend!"

"I'm serious, Kate! If you know where she is, you better tell me right now!"

"I don't know where she is, Eli!"

"No, I know that you know!"

"You don't know anything!" she retorted, turning back to the building sharply. As she turned, the ring – which was not set deep enough in her pocket to be secured – had flown out of her jeans and hit the ground. Eli saw the object and recognized it immediately . . . . it was the promise ring he had given to Clare not too long ago. He snatched the ring off the ground before Kate had the chance. Once it was safe in his hand, he stood up, faced Kate, and put the ring in her view.

"Where did you get this?" he demanded of her.

Kate was not expecting this flaw in the plan; she hoped to just keep the ring as a reminder to herself of what she'd done, but she did not anticipate Eli ever finding out that it was in her possession. Rooted on the spot with her mouth agape, she tried to find an answer to his question but nothing came to her head quick enough. Eli noticed how bewildered she was and lowered his arm so she could no longer see the ring.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, trying to act innocent.

"Don't you dare," Eli growled.

Everything was forming in his head. Clare was missing, the school was being eaten inside out by flames, and Kate had this ring. All the pieces had fit together and rage, as well as dread, began to engross Eli. He stuffed the ring in his pocket before looking Kate straight in the eye.

"I hate you," was all he could say before turning his back on her.

There was no time for the fire department or paramedics to arrive. Clare was in the school and it could be too late by the time they reached the school if it wasn't too late already. Only having half an idea what he was doing and none of what to expect, Eli dashed by the few people in front of him and charged up to the school.

Adam noticed what Eli was doing and tried to go after him, but Hannigan held him back as she tried to get Eli's attention.

"Eli! Eli, you have to get back here!" she hollered at him. "Don't go in there!"

But it was too late; Eli was already going up the steps and speeding into the school. Having no plan on what to do or where Clare could possibly be, adrenaline pumped through his system and he tried to find some trace of his girlfriend. He saw how the flames formed a kind of trail; having a hunch, he followed the path, trying to avoid death and breathed as little as possible to avoid swallowing the smoke.

"Clare!" he called as felt the temperature increased as he got dangerously close to the fires. He kept his ears sharp just in case she responded to his cries. "Clare!"

He then saw the trial of flames make a turn into a classroom. Horrified, he moved down the hall to see into the room; there was a door of flames blocking his way, but they were moving enough to see inside. He squinted through the smoke and saw Clare; she was tied by bounds of fabric to the supply cabinet. He also saw that the room was being buried by inferno. He then witnessed flames slowly begin to lick her right arm as he heard gasps of pain between coughs.

Trying to think clearly, Eli look around him and his eyes landed on a fire extinguisher resting the wall a few feet to the right of him.

"Hold on!" he screamed to Clare before sprinting back down the hall.

Within a matter of seconds, he had freed the red cylinder from the wall and raced back to the fortress of fire that was keeping him from Clare. He had used a fire extinguisher before, so he would be able to get it working immediately once he got back to the room. He was quick on his feet and got back into the Art room within a matter of seconds. He took care of the flames in the doorway to get one step closer to getting him and Clare out of this place.

Once he was inside the room, he noticed that her eyelids were concealing her orbs, but he noticed that her chest was moving. A combination of fear and relief went through his body as he got the extinguisher working. He sprayed the flames attacking her arms before going to the ones in the room.

Hoping that his actions would buy them some time, he dropped the extinguisher before going to Clare. Although the fire was out in this room, the one in the hallway was still continuing and could potentially reenter the classroom while the smoke from those flames traveled back to them. Whatever Eli had to do to get him and Clare out of here, he had to do it fast.

He saw that many materials were wrapped around Clare's wrists and each of them was fairly thick. Kate definitely planned this and, unfortunately, she planned it fairly well. He grabbed a pair of scissors from a table that was not destroyed by the fire and immediately began snipping away at the binds. He wished desperately that he had his pocketknife with him, but he always left it behind whenever he went to school; therefore, it was not in his possession and he had to use any tools available to him. As he got halfway through the find bind, he saw Clare struggling to open her eyes as he tried to cut through the knots.

"E-E-Eli," he heard her gasp. Her eyelids were barely apart and he saw tears in her eyes forming because of her incapability to breathe.

"I'm getting you out of this. Just hold on," he told her hurriedly, knowing she had already inhaled too much smoke.

She wheezed before coughing and wheezing again.

"K-Kate," she gagged.

The many thoughts and questions that formed in his head before he came into this Hell came through his mind once again and he wanted nothing more than to get the details from Clare, but that was not an option right now. She was too weak and he needed to get her out of the school before this fire it killed them both.

"I know. Let's get out of here first and then we'll deal with her, okay?" he said, continuing to frantically cut the fabrics as he tried not to dwell on what Clare told him. "It's going to be alright."

Clare saw Eli through her blurred vision; tears clouded her eyes from being unable to take in unpolluted oxygen. She felt a drop of water from her eye fall down her face. She took in the biggest breath she could.

"I-I love you," she breathed hoarsely.

Clare's eyes then closed completely and her head rolled to the side. Eli noticed this as he tried to get the scissors through the material of knots.

"No, Clare!" he shouted. "Wake up! Stay with me!"

She didn't respond.

"Clare, please don't!" he begged.

Then he noticed that her chest wasn't moving at all . . . she had stopped breathing. Panicked, Eli abandoned the task of cutting the materials for a second to check the pulse in her neck . . . it was going dangerously slow.

"Clare, you have to stay awake!" he yelled in vain as he tried cutting the materials again as fast as he could. He knew the sooner he got the binds undone, the sooner Clare would be able to breathe in the clean air. "Come on, Clare, stay with me!"

He finally got one of the constraints on her first arm severed and quickly moved to the other one. As he did so, he glanced at Clare to see if there was any sign of life in her at all. He learned at one point that the brain could only go so long without oxygen, but he couldn't remember how much time that gave him. The only thing he cared about now was getting Clare out of there as quick as possible before it was too late.

He tried not to disturb the burns on her arm that were covered from the substance that came from the fire extinguisher. After forcefully snipping at the holds for at least another seventy-five seconds, she was no longer clinging to the cabinet. As soon as Clare was freed, Eli shrugged off his jacket and covered her face with it so it became a barrier between her mouth and the smoke; he then scooped her up in his arms before carrying her towards the entrance. The room was filling up with smoke again and it was beginning to affect Eli's lungs. That didn't matter to him right now; he had to get Clare out and he had to get her out _now_.

"It's going to be okay, Clare," he said, trying to keep her attached to the world.

He used all the strength he could to carry her to the door of the Art room. He saw that the hallways were still full of flames. They could easily be burnt alive or suffocated if they went out there, but they had no choice. Taking a deep breath of poisoned oxygen, Eli dashed out of the room and began speeding down the hall as fast as he could. Wishing that he had more upper body strength, he struggled to keep Clare in his arms, especially when the smoke around him began irritating his lungs. Desperately wishing that he could get them out of the school, he avoided the flames at all costs, but it was difficult for he had to maneuver around the wreckage that this disaster created.

He traveled for at least an unbearable minute before he saw the door that was not being blocked by fire. The silver lining right in front of him, he used the remaining strength in him to get them out of the blazing building, knowing that clean air and help was just a few feet away. He moved faster and faster; he was only thirty feet away . . . twenty feet . . . ten feet . . . he had made it . . .

After he breathed in his first breath of mostly clean air, Eli began feeling his physical pain. His chest was burning inside him and his limbs were quickly wearing out; he ignored the ache in his chest and weakness of his arms and legs as he got Clare out of the enflamed and smoke invested school. Coughing, he went down the steps and got far enough from the building so they could breathe in the fresh air. Once they were a fair distance away from the school, Eli removed his jacket from over her head. Not taking notice of all the medics that were hurriedly coming towards him, he gently placed her on the ground and began doing CPR.

"Breathe," he entreated as he did the chest compressions. "Please breathe."

The fire department, paramedics, and more police officers had arrived on the scene since Eli had been in the school, but he didn't really see them. All he saw was Clare and how her body was stained by the smoke and flames. Before he could do much more, the medics rushed over to her. He stepped away a bit to allow them to do their job, but he kept Clare in his view the whole time. He saw one of them put a resuscitator over her nose and mouth to feed Clare oxygen as the rest prepared for her transfer to the vehicle a few yards away.

They brought a gurney over, knowing that this girl had to be transferred to the hospital as quickly as possible. Keeping the mask over her face, the medics carefully lifted Clare onto the mattress on top of the stretcher and began rolling her towards the ambulance. Wishing to remain by Clare's side for as long as possible, Eli caught up with the paramedics, took her left hand, and held it tight.

"Clare!" he called to her as they kept moving. "Can you hear me? It's going to be okay. I promise everything's going to be fine."

No response came and he began to feel terrified tears in his eyes.

"Do you know her?" a female medic asked.

"She's my girlfriend."

"What's her name?"

"Clare Edwards. Is she going to be okay?"

"We won't know anything for sure until we get her to the hospital," the paramedic replied as they opened the doors to the ambulance.

"Can I go with her?" he asked the medics.

"Sir, it's probably best that you're not here. But do you know her parents' names so we can get in contact with them?"

"Randall and Helen Edwards," he informed her. "Please, let me go with her."

"I'm sorry, sir."

The team loaded her into the ambulance. He soon felt her hand abandon his as they lifted her into the vehicle. The doors closed and they began driving away from campus. Eli's knees began shaking and he felt tears coming down on his cheeks.

Everything was now slowing down and he analyzed what was happening around him. The firemen had arrived seconds ago and were now trying to smother the fire with the water from the truck. Many were going in while many stayed behind to take care of the problem from the outside. He saw the students, teachers, parents, children, and many more that were standing on the other side of caution tape while they either stared at him or the school in shock.

It was only then, when he could think clearly, that Eli realized what had happened. Clare was in an enflamed room that was infested with smoke for at least ten minutes and she was now on her way to the hospital, near death. His breathing was speeding up and he felt his heart beat in his ears. Bile was coming up his throat, but he was too busy inhaling the oxygen around him for it to come out of his mouth.

The shock was not disappearing, but he saw Adam coming up to him in the corner of his eye, his jacket in hand.

"Eli, she's going to be okay," Adam promised him, passing him the jacket. "Once she's in the hospital, they'll make her better."

"She stopped breathing," Eli told him, shaking.

"They'll get her breathing again. They'd be taking her to the hospital a few miles away, right? If we hurry, we can meet them there and we'll be able to learn everything once we arrive. Come on," Adam said, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the scene. Their destination was the parking lot for now, but Eli needed to know if Clare would be alright as soon as possible.

As they were walking through the crowd, Eli saw someone smiling at the school as the firemen attempted to put out the flames within it. Most of his fear was substituted by hatred and fury. That girl had just tried to kill Clare and she felt no remorse or guilt; that was evident by the grin plastered on her face. It was sickening to see that someone actually had that little concern for a human life. How could someone commit such an act? He could not recall a time that he had been this angry and he was on the verge on snapping.

"It was Kate," he said to Adam.

"What?" Adam responded.

Eli took a breath to keep his body from shaking.

"Clare said Kate did it. And she had Clare's ring."

"Seriously?" he said, shocked that someone would do this to one of his best friends.

"Dead serious," Eli answered.

His head turned it Kate's direction again, disgusted that she had that revolting smirk on her face; she had a lot of nerve to stand there when she knew that her plan had been foiled.

"I'm not letting her get away with this," he stated, moving his feet.

"Wait," Adam said, grabbing Eli's shoulder, making him stop. "Just get her talking to you about what happened."

"Why?" he demanded, not really wanting to hear how Kate did it or why; he just wanted her to pay.

"Trust me," Adam assured him before sprinting away towards a group of police officers. Eli had no idea what Adam had up his sleeve, but he trusted him and decided that he would heed his advice. Forming an idea as to how he could get her to talk, Eli made a beeline to Kate, who was now turning around to leave her act behind.

"_Parker_!" he shouted at her as he ventured around a few small groups of people.

Kate stopped in her tracks and turned back around to face him. Although he was a fair distance away from her, she could see the enmity exploding in his usually gentle green eyes.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?" he yelled, his anger breaking out into the world.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Eli," she said, still hoping that her plan to not get discovered by him would be fulfilled. She kept calm despite his sudden rampage, but she bit down on her tongue to keep herself from grinning in victory.

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" he shouted; anyone could see how his face was turning red from animosity despite the black the smoke had left on his face. "YOU HAD CLARE'S RING, SHE TOLD ME YOU DID THIS, _AND_ I SAW YOU SMILING AT THE SCHOOL!"

The cat was slowly coming out of the bag and Kate knew that it was becoming nearly pointless to keep up a charade. However, if she told him the truth, he would hate her forever, never love her, and never want her in his life . . . but that also meant he would never forget her. Keeping this aspect alive, Kate released her tongue and her smile reappeared on her face as she looked over Eli's shoulder to gaze at the school.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" she stated as she admired her work before facing Eli again.

Icicles filled his veins and his bones turned to stone, knowing that his theory was confirmed. He had never been so angry, terrified, and sickened all at once. In fact, he did not know that it was possible to loathe someone as much as he loathed Kate right now at this very moment.

"If something happens to her –," Eli sneered.

"What's done is done, Eli," she shrugged. "I promised you long ago that I would be with you one day, and I've always planned on keeping it . . . but Clare has gotten in the way too many times. The two of you promising to get married was crossing the line."

"So you've been planning this? You've been planning this ever since you found out Clare and me are getting married?" he growled.

"It took time to figure out," she said. "And it wasn't easy."

"Do you honestly think that trying to kill someone and setting a school on fire was going to get me to fall for you?" he asked bitterly.

"Well, to be honest, I never really planned on you finding out."

"Then what did you expect?"

At that moment, Adam and Officer Turner, Dave's father, came up behind Kate. They stood there, silent as the grave as Kate began to speak. Eli was sure not to look at them so he would not make it obvious that they were standing right there.

"Clare was in my way and I don't let _anything_ stand in my way of what I want."

"And so you thought that you should kill her? Then what?"

Adam, Officer Turner, and Eli all waited patiently to hear this part of her story.

"That was the tricky part. I needed to find a way to do it so no one would figure out who did it. Fire would burn all the evidence and, with Clare dead, she could not point any fingers. No one would know it was me then you would finally realize a few things."

"Like what? That I would discover that I have feelings for you?" he said, hoping to reveal the motive for policeman she was still heedless of.

"Maybe," she answered with a shrug and a smirk.

"Kate, there was never _anything_ between us, okay? After everything you've done to me and Clare, I don't want to talk you again, so you're crazy if you thought that I would actually be with you."

"I thought you had a thing for the spontaneous."

"Not when it involves people getting hurt."

"Well, what's done is done. And, even if you did find out, at least you'll remember me; no one else in this world could say that she was the one to kill Clare Edwards."

"She's not dead," Eli protested through a thick voice.

"She can be. As we speak, they could be calling her time of death."

Eli couldn't deny that this was a possibility, but he wasn't going to give Kate the satisfaction.

"You're insane," he stated.

"No, I just know what I want and I'll do anything to get it."

"I think I've heard enough," Officer Turner said.

Before Kate had time to turn around, he pulled her hand behind her back and put handcuffs on them as he read her rights before dragging her towards his police car. Eli and Adam stood there and watched her as she was led to the car.

"Now you can live with your guilt about what you've done!" she snickered evilly to Eli. "If Clare dies, all you'll be able to think about is how you broke my heart and pushed me to the breaking point so I would have to do something this extreme! I didn't kill her, Eli! _You_ did!"

"Don't listen to her," Adam said to him immediately. "You didn't do anything; she's just psycho. But she's going to jail and she can't do or say anything else."

But Eli was too worried to feel any relief and he began panting in fear. Was Kate right? Was this is fault? Was Clare going to die? What if she was already dead?

"No, she's not going to die," he scolded himself.

"You're damn right she's not," Adam agreed, not knowing that Eli was speaking to himself. "Come on."

They began walking towards Adam's car, but everything was becoming too much for Eli to stand. He was shaking from head to toe, his heart rate had not been stable for the past thirty minutes, and he could not breathe . . . he literally could not breathe. Was it his fear or the carbon dioxide from the smoke that made him feeling suffocated? He did not know, but within a matter of seconds, tears started stinging his eyes because air was not reaching his lungs. Eli started to cough before he collapsed on his knees and started gasping for air.

"Eli!" Adam shrieked.

* * *

"_In every loss, in every lie_

_In every truth that you deny_

_And each regret and each goodbye _

_Was a mistake too great to hide _

_And your voice was all I heard _

_That I get what I deserve"_

_~"New Divide" by Linkin Park_

* * *

. . . Reviews?


	79. Cry

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you for your amazing reviews everyone! Okay, I'm going to try setting another goal thing like I did many chapters ago. Let's see if we can make it to 900 reviews by the time the one year anniversary of this story comes around (the 11th of February). No punishment if we don't make it, but I'm going to be updating a lot so I could post this certain chapter (good or bad? Not telling yet) on the 11th, so I don't think this is an impossible goal. Shut up, Turbo! They've come here to read to what's happening to Eli and Clare, not your review goals! Ha-ha! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . or a cappuccino maker, which sucks because then I wouldn't have to spend as much money or leave my house if I did.

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Nine

Cry

Eli sat in the emergency room, sitting on a bed that was hidden from the world by curtains. He took deep breaths from an oxygen mask one of the nurses told him to breathe from, but he was growing very impatient. He didn't care that he got a bit of smoke in his lungs; Clare was unconscious, burnt, and was not breathing at all when they took her away in the ambulance half an hour ago. He's heard nothing whatsoever of her condition and he didn't see her or any of her family because he had been force to stay behind the curtains around him until someone cleared him.

Adam would've been there with him or trying to find out what was happening with Clare, but his mom did not want him involved in this at all. Once she heard that Degrassi was ablaze, she rushed there and took him away as quickly as possible. Typical Mrs. Torres. Eli understood that she was just concerned for her son, but he needed someone there with him to help him find Clare as soon as possible.

After breathing from the mask continuously for at least five more excruciating minutes, the curtain was pulled back and a young male nurse walked towards him.

"I'm feeling fine. Can I go now?" Eli asked rapidly as he withdrew the mask from his face.

"Everything seems normal, but if you have any breathing problems, come back immediately."

"Alright, thank you," Eli said before sliding off the bed and leaving the area.

Now that he was free from his small prison, all he wanted to do now was find Clare. He left the Emergency Room and followed the hallway until he arrived in the lobby of the hospital. He didn't know where to go or have any idea where she could be, but he had to start somewhere. He began walking towards the desk in the center of the lobby, hoping they would have some information.

"Eli!" someone shrieked.

He looked over his shoulder and saw his parents rushing into the hospital. His mom took him in her arms almost the second she saw him; Bullfrog was not far behind her.

"Are you alright?" CeCe asked frantically.

"I'm fine," he reassured. Well, he was fine physically, but he wasn't so sure emotionally or mentally.

"Is it true?" Bullfrog asked once his son was out of his wife's arms. "I heard on the radio that Kate Parker set Degrassi on fire and that you went in after Clare because she was trapped."

"Yeah, that's what happened," he said.

"Oh goodness," CeCe said. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Have you seen doctors? Did they say anything?"

"They said I'm fine."

"What about Clare?" Bullfrog said.

Eli took a trembling breath before he told them what happened and Clare's condition when the ambulance took her away.

"Oh no," CeCe remarked.

"I just want to find her," Eli said. "I know she's around her somewhere, but I don't know where, how she's doing, anything!"

"Don't worry, we'll find her," Bullfrog said. "But the police are outside and they need to talk to you about what happened."

"Can't it wait?" Eli said, not wanting to give any statement right now. He needed to know if Clare was alright or not.

"No, they've been waiting for some time and they want to get the investigation going as soon as possible."

"But –."

"Eli, just go talk to them and we'll be finding Clare's room in the meantime. It won't take too long."

He took a breath, not wanting to go anywhere but to Clare; he was not even sure if he could think straight without knowing how she was doing. However, he also wanted the person who did this to the love of his life to pay and she would in jail, and he was willing to do anything to make that happen, even talking to the police, therefore delaying his search.

"I'll be right back," he agreed before heading out of the hospital.

()()

Half an hour later, he had talked to the police, told them everything he remembered, and he filled them in on Kate and Clare's history so they would gain an idea of Kate's possible motives. He rushed back into the hospital once he was done and saw his parents waiting for him at the desk. He sprinted over there, hoping that they were informed of Clare's whereabouts.

"Do you guys know where she is?" he asked once he was in their earshot.

"She's in the ICU right now; doctors are still looking over her and they said that we should sit in the waiting room down the hall."

Without a single word, Eli began rushing towards the location of the Intensive Care Unit. CeCe and Bullfrog were right behind him, not even bothering to tell their son to slow down; he was determined to find the person he loved, so there was not any point in making an attempt to stop him.

They moved for a minute or two when they reached the appropriate wing of the hospital and they quickly located the waiting room. They saw the sign indicating that this was the room they were looking for and saw Clare's parents all alone inside it; Helen was pacing and crying as Randall sat in his chair and shook. Eli bolted into the room and went towards them, more fear forming inside him.

"Is she alright?" he asked them. Helen stopped pacing and looked at the ground and Randall continued to stay seated. Eli looked back and forth between them and began thinking the worst.

"She's not . . . please tell me she's not . . ."

"We don't know," Randall answered. "They told us to wait here and we've been waiting for an hour."

"Are you hurt?" Helen asked, praying that no one else had to endure any sort of distress.

Eli shook his head in response to her question. He had half a mind to tell them he was fine, but, in reality, he was the furthest thing from fine. He stood there and rubbed his hands together; parts of his skin, including his hands and some of his face, were still blackened because of the disaster he and Clare went through. His parents stood there, unsure of what to do, while Helen proceeded in pacing.

All five of them stood there, waiting anxiously for someone to arrive and put an end to their uncertainty. Each of them were terrified and were very on edge; whenever a doctor passed the room, they would snap their head in that direction, hoping that he or she would come in and relieve them of this torture. Only after ten more minutes of lingering on pins and needles, a doctor around the age of forty came in with a clipboard in his hand.

"Are you Clare Edwards's family?" he asked.

"Yes," Helen said, facing the door as Randall stood up on his feet.

The Goldsworthys stood with them as the doctor moved towards Randall and Helen.

"I'm Doctor Harnage, Clare's doctor," he informed them shaking the Edwards's hands.

"Is she alright?" she asked when the introduction came to a close.

The doctor took a sorrowful breath that worried all five of them instantly.

"The good news is that there is no sign of brain damage and the burn on her arm should heal over time."

"And the bad news?" Randall asked worriedly.

"She's stable for now, but she's not exactly in the best condition."

"What do you mean?" Eli asked; he thought that finding Clare would ease his worry, but, in reality, it was simply creating more.

Doctor Harnage took another gulp of air, knowing that this was going to be the devastating news that would horrify them.

"She's in a coma."

"Oh my gosh," Helen gasped, putting her hands over her mouth and nose, terrified tears stinging her eyes.

"A lot of smoke had gotten into her lungs and that caused a bit of damage and, because of that, she can't breathe on her own; we had to put her on a ventilator," he explained.

"But she's going to be okay, right?" Eli asked hurriedly.

"Um . . . it's too soon to tell," the doctor said regretfully. "So far, the only problem there seems to be is that she can't breathe, which is a good sign. But . . . the ventilator is the only thing that is keeping her alive right now."

It took all of the willpower Eli had in his heart, soul, and mind to not collapse in terror and devastation. If it wasn't for a machine, Clare would be dead now . . . she would not be on this earth anymore . . . she would be gone . . .

It was all becoming too much for everyone, but especially Eli and her parents. Randall's eyes were being protected by tears as Helen's fell onto her face.

"We can keep her on it for as long as you see fit," Doctor Harnage attempted to console them. "That should give her a fair chance. Like I said, it's too soon to tell if she'll recover or not, but I advise giving her time to see what happens."

"What can we do until then?" CeCe asked.

"There's nothing we can do," he informed them sadly. "We just have to keep her healthy with an IV and whatnot and hope that she wakes up."

"So we just sit and wait?" Eli clarified.

"I wish there was more we could do."

Eli was furious that there was nothing more to be done other than stand back and let fate take over. He wanted to know that someone in the world was going to help Clare get better and wake up from this coma; unfortunately, not one of these highly trained professionals was able to help Clare or make an attempt to save her life. This was not right. If there was one person in the world who Eli thought did not deserve this, it was Clare.

"C-Can we see her?" Helen then asked, still trying not to cry with little avail.

"You may. Come with me," he instructed.

The doctor stepped out of the waiting room and the quintet followed him, desperate to see just how bad Clare's condition was. They were led the way by Doctor Harnage until he reach a room at the end at the end of the hall.

"Now, I warn you, this may be startling," he prepared them. "I'll let you have your time with her; please tell a nurse or come find me if you need anything."

With that, he left them alone in the hall as they prepared to see what had become of Clare. They each had their own idea of what to expect, but they hoped that it would not be too much for them to handle when they faced the reality. Randall opened the door and all of them went inside.

Eli's breath got caught in his throat when he saw the sight before him; it was as if it was something out of a movie or medical show. Clare was lying on a hospital bed that was tilted up slightly; a breathing tube was in her mouth as it connected her to a machine that was doing her breathing for her. He noticed how there was a bandage wrapped around her right arm where she had been burned and an IV needle was in the same hand, which attached her to a drip bag. On her the index finger on her left hand was a pulse monitor clip that linked her to the screen to her left side. He, honestly, did not have a full idea on what he would see, but this was still a complete shock to him.

Save for the sound of the machines, the room was dead silent. Randall and Helen's backs were to the Goldsworthys as they stepped all the way inside.

"You're going to be fine, Clare," her mother whispered to her as she rubbed Clare's left forearm; she said these words, but she was unsure if she believed them or not. Everything was too new and she had not had the chance to calm down, cope, or analyze the logic of the situation.

Eli apprehensively moved towards the bed, standing next to Helen as Clare came into his view completely. He tried not to explode in feelings of all negativity as she lied there completely lifeless. Everyone stood in place, not making a move or a sound. Silent tears went down Randall's face as Helen sobbed quietly; Eli inhaled continuously through his nose, making an attempt to not burst into tears. A couple of minutes later, CeCe and Bullfrog sensed that it was the moment to give Randall and Helen some time with their daughter.

"Eli," CeCe said, coming towards her son and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder, "we should get going."

Morty was still sitting at Degrassi since it was a police car that took him to the hospital, therefore, unless he walked back to the school, his parents were his ride home. But Eli did not want to leave Clare so soon; he understood that there was nothing he could do to help her wake back up, but he wanted to be with her.

"Can I stay here for a bit?" he asked them.

"I think we should give Mr. and Mrs. Edwards some time alone –."

"It's fine; he can stay if he wants," Helen interjected, turning her head over her shoulder a bit to see the Goldsworthys; if anyone deserved the right to be here with Clare, it was the person who saved her life.

"Are you sure?" Bullfrog asked.

Randall and Helen both nodded as they turned back to their little girl. They had now lived through two horrible nightmares with their daughters; Darcy was raped years ago and now their youngest angel was stepping to the end of her life at such a young age.

"Please, guys," Eli requested of his parents one last time, hoping that they would allow him to stay.

They comprehended as to why Eli would want to remain in this room a while longer and they did not have an issue with him staying if Clare's parents didn't either.

"Alright," Bullfrog accepted.

"Thanks," Eli said.

"I'm really sorry," CeCe then said to Helen and Randall. "If there's anything we can do, anything at all, please let us know."

"Thank you," Randall choked out through the fear that was strangling his throat.

"We'll see you at home," Bullfrog said to Eli, grasping his shoulder in comfort and support.

"I'll see you guys later," Eli said as his parents began exiting the room.

Time ticked by slowly as the three of them stood there, trying to grasp the truth that was right in front of them.

()()

"Do you want a lift home?" Randall offered Eli as he put on his jacket an hour later. Helen had left in tears ten minutes before; she was pushed to the edge when she realized that she would have to call Darcy and tell her that her baby sister was in the hospital. Not being able to handle much more, she said her farewells to Eli and Randall before excusing herself from the room. It was only the males in the room with Clare now, but Randall had to leave, knowing that he would break if he stayed much longer.

"I'll just walk to Degrassi and pick up my car. Is it okay with you if I stay with her for a bit longer?" Eli answered in response to his question as he kept his eyes on Clare's eyelids, his heart pleading for them to open and let her come out of her comatose state.

"Of course," Randall agreed; he began walking towards the door when he paused and turned back around. "And Eli . . ."

Eli averted his eyes from Clare to Mr. Edwards.

"If it you didn't go in after her . . . she probably wouldn't be with us right now, so . . . thank you."

_She wouldn't have been in there at all if it wasn't for me_, he thought to himself. He just gave his head a nod in response to Randall's words before he stepped out of the room, leaving the two teenagers behind.

As he looked at Clare again, Eli began to wonder if talking to people while they were unconscious or in a coma was something that should be done so the patient could be brought back, if it kept that person connected to the real world, or if it was just something that added drama and emotion to television, but he didn't care. He wanted keep Clare attached to the real world as much as possible and he was willing to do anything he could to do that if he couldn't bring her back to life.

"So . . . I guess all we can do now is wait," he said, sitting down in a chair that was next to her bed that had been abandoned until then. He softly put his hand on hers, being careful not to disturbed the clip on her finger. "I'm not going to lie; I'm scared. Actually, I'm terrified . . . horrified, even. I don't want you to . . ."

Not being able to say the words in his head, he did not even want to make the attempt to say them aloud. He took a breath a pressed on.

"But you'll be okay; you're a trooper, it's what you do. Remember, you went to school when you had that horrible stomach flu?"

He waited in vain for her to respond, but she didn't and more tears came to his eyes. What if he would never hear her voice or her laugh again? He did not even want to know the Hell his life would become if this angel beside him was to die and leave his universe in a shrieking silence, but he knew he might have to face it all too soon.

"I love you, Clare," he whispered, trying to keep his eyes clear. He pulled the ring out of his pocket, thankful that it did not get damaged during his pursuit to get Clare out of Degrassi. He took her left hand and slid the ring onto the appropriate finger. He took that hand in both of his before he pulled it to his lips.

"Don't give up on me, okay?"

()()

Visiting hours at the hospital ended at nine o'clock, thus he was forced to leave minutes after he placed Clare's ring back on her finger. Eli walked a couple of miles before arriving at Degrassi; the flames were out and not a single soul remained around it except him. There was yellow tape that read _CAUTION_ across it while it blocked off the stairs to the school. The damage was not too bad from the outside, but he didn't even want to know what the interior looked like. He stared at the school as the remaining smoke in the area danced in the air.

The idea that him, Clare, and Adam were in that same school yesterday with few worries was difficult to grasp, for everything had changed in less than a second. Eli had hoped and hoped that nothing would happen to Clare and he would not end up losing her like he did with Julia, but now history was replaying in a slightly different fashion. However, just like this time and last time, he blamed himself and he felt like as though his world had come to an end in a blink of an eye.

Eli wanted to turn back time and change everything that had happened in the past few hours; he wished that he followed his worry and went looking for Clare when she did not return to see the beginning of the play like she said she would. Now, because of Kate's lust for revenge and his ignorance, Clare could never see the light of day again.

Every one of these horrible thoughts began circulating in his heart and poisoning his blood, he got into Morty and began driving home, his mind on autopilot the whole time. He kept seeing her face. Unfortunately, it wasn't the face of her smiling; he kept envisioning her lying on the bed in the hospital being hooked up to a machine that was doing the breathing for her. Eli felt absolutely nothing but pain, fear, and dread; then again, who would not feel all of that when the person they love more than anything in the world was walking the fine line between life and death?

* * *

"_Is it over yet? _

_Can I open my eyes? _

_Is this as hard as it gets? _

_Is this what it feels like to really cry?"_

_~"Cry" by Kelly Clarkson_

* * *

I'm going to be honest: I know jack squat about this medical stuff! The only reason I know this much is because I watch too much House, I paid attention in my freshmen health class, my mum was a First Aid instructor, I have a sister and dad who just know this stuff, and I'm the master of Google! If any of this information is inaccurate, I'm sorry.

If you want to read something happy and awesome, read "45 Things We Do Together" by MadameDegrassi4587!

Well, I'm going to go work on the next chapter. Reviews please!


	80. Pressure

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for all your reviews guys! I think we may just reach the 900 mark before the 11th. You guys rock and I love you all . . . not in the way that I want to get down on one knee and ask you to marry me, but I think you guys get the point. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. I don't need to own Degrassi; I got ten feet of falling water! (Inside joke my BFF and I have).

* * *

Chapter Eighty

Pressure

The next day, Eli's hands and face were clear of all traces from when he escaped the fire save for the pain in his throat and heart. When he awoke in his bed, he saw that his alarm clock read one in the afternoon. It amazed him that he slept in so late; yes, he couldn't get to sleep until four o'clock that morning, but he did not expect to sleep until the day was halfway through.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes as all the memories from the night before returned to him. He could picture Clare; he remembered the fear in her eyes from when they were in the Art room together while it was ablaze. He could practically hear her saying "I love you" to him in the raspy voice she had due to the smoke. Eli then remembered seeing her in the hospital; she was so still, so silent, so cold despite the fact she had been surrounded by fire for such a long time. It did not seem right and she did not deserve to be in that place.

Feeling his still heavy heart from the night before gain ten pounds, he climbed out of his bed and prepared for the day ahead of him. He got showered and dressed, but he only put on jeans and one of his Dead Hand shirts; he neglected to put on his rings, eyeliner, or anything else. He didn't see the need or have the desire to do it; Clare was too busy shadowing his mind and she was all that mattered now.

Wondering how he had gotten through the first fifteen minutes of his day without breaking down, Eli got downstairs and he stepped into the kitchen. CeCe was sitting at the breakfast table as she read the paper; Bullfrog must've been at the radio station for he was nowhere in sight. Not really in the mood to speak to anyone, Eli went straight to the refrigerator and got out a bottle of water to ease the sore throat he had acquired from last night. As he drank the water, he wished that this was the worst that both he and Clare got, but that was not the case; she was in that coma and could easily leave the world behind if she was taken off the ventilator. Trying not to think about that, he leaned against the counter and held the bottle.

"Hey," CeCe then greeted quietly, turning in her chair to see him. "How are you feeling?"

Eli didn't respond and his mother realized he would not speak if she were to talk about him; her intuition told her that there was only one person in her son's head right now and that person was in a hospital bed not too far away from their home.

"Um . . . Clare's mom called this morning."

Eli's ears perked up and he quickly faced her.

"Did she say how Clare's doing?" he asked.

"Same," she answered. "She, Clare's dad, Alyson, and Melissa were going to see Clare and she said that you could go by the hospital at any time. She was going to pick you up on her way there, but you were still asleep and I thought you needed your rest after what happened."

Eli wished that someone did wake him up so he could've been with her this whole time. He shouldn't have been sleeping; he should've been by Clare's side. Feeling that it was his responsibility and be with Clare and her family, he drank the rest of his water and began heading towards the exit.

"I'm going to go ahead and go there."

"Without eating anything?" she asked.

"I'm not hungry."

"Eli," CeCe called before he could leave the room.

"What?" he asked, turning around; he needed to get to Clare as soon as possible and speaking to CeCe would just delay him. He saw the pain in her eyes; not only was she fearful for Clare, but she was also concerned about her son. Last time something like this happened, he went to a dark place and it took time for him to come out of it.

"Do you need to talk?"

"No, Mom," he said, forcefully. Okay, yes, he _needed_ to talk, but he didn't want to right now. His goal was set on the hospital so he could see Clare and he did not want to prolong the wait much longer.

"Because, if you need to, you can always –."

"I'm fine!" he snapped.

"Calm down," she advised him.

"I can't! My girlfriend is in the hospital . . . she could die!"

"Don't think that way. Clare is going to pull through."

"We don't know that!" Eli retorted. "She hasn't improved or anything!"

"Eli, it hasn't even been twenty-four hours and these things take time."

"How much time?" he demanded. "How much time is enough time until we know that nothing can help her and she won't pull through? How long are we supposed to just sit back and hope she makes it?"

While he began to rant, his heart began to race and tears came back to his eyes for the first time since early that morning when he had trouble sleeping. However, these weren't the only parts of him that were reacting to this tragedy.

"Your hands are shaking," she informed him, rising from her seat.

She was right; his hands were trembling in horror and he could not keep them from shaking despite his willpower. He clasped his hands together as hard as he could to stop their motions. He still felt the jitteriness in his hands, but they were only vibrating in place now.

"I'm scared, Mom," he confessed. "I can't lose her . . . I can't lose someone else."

CeCe was unsure of what to say, but it broke her heart to see her baby so distraught and there was nothing anyone could do to make it better. She walked towards him and gave him the kind of comforting hug that only a mother could give.

"It'll be alright, Eli," she soothed him. "How about this? I'll drive you to the hospital and Bullfrog and I will come by later, see Clare and her family, and then we'll come home together."

She thought it'd be best for him not to drive while he was so shaken; if she had to be honest, she was a bit surprised he came home in one piece last night.

"Okay," Eli accepted in a low voice, still trying to keep calm. They soon ended the embrace, tears in each of their eyes, and began their short travel to the hospital. Before they got there, however, Eli requested that they went by the florist; they went there and he bought a single tulip with a transparent vase; he remembered how that was Clare's favorite flower and he wanted to give her one. Not long after they left the flower shop did they arrive at the hospital. He held the vase that contained the lone pink as he rushed from the car and went to find Clare's room.

Once he found his destination, Eli stepped inside her room and saw family in there; Helen was sitting by the bed, holding Clare's left hand. Alyson and Randall were sitting on the seat in the corner, her head on his shoulder as he kept his arm around her. Melissa was there too, her eyes facing the folded hands in her lap. Eli walked towards the bed, put the tulip and vase on a small table next to her, and stood next to Helen. She turned her head up to look at him.

"Are you alright?" she asked Eli.

"Physically," he answered in a low voice.

Helen understood immediately and turned back to Clare.

"Anything?" he asked hopefully. His heart broke a bit more when Mrs. Edwards shook her head.

None of them spoke to each other; they didn't have to. Not one of the five conscious people in the room felt like speaking; besides, they had nothing to talk about and they were too distraught to formulate any conversations. In this moment, all wounds were sealed; Alyson was not cold or rude to Eli and he did not express his dislike for her. She did not criticize anything, act superior, or any other idea around those lines. Right now, they were all equal; they were scared, worried, and heartbroken that Clare was here and nothing else could be done to help her.

Eli, wanting to have some sort of contact with Clare, gently stroked the hair on top of her head; it was still unimaginable that this girl, who was usually so bright and full of life, lied there before him, unable to do anything at all. He felt the tears escape his eyes; it did not matter that these people who had recently familiarized himself with were watching him. His girlfriend was in this place and it was killing him, so he felt that he had the right to shed a couple of tears.

He was not alone when it came to crying. Before nearly bursting out into tears, Melissa stood up, said something about needing to get to her job, and escaped the room. It wasn't long after until the scene got to Alyson as well; she had begun crying so hard that Randall had to take her back to her apartment. Helen also became too overwhelmed and excused herself from the room. Eli then noticed that he and Clare were all alone, but it just made more negativity go through him; the reality that she could not talk to him while she was right in front of his eyes made him feel uneasy; usually, the two of them would have conversations that could last for hours and hours, but now that was not an option. However, he wanted to stay with her; if there was anything he could do for her – even something as simple as sitting by her side and talking to her – he would do it in half a heartbeat. Remembering this, he pulled up the seat next to her bed and sat down.

"It's just you and me for now," he told her, taking her hand, being careful not to disturb the clip on her finger. "I'll bring you a tulip for every day you're in here; now I just hope that I won't have to bring many more."

He moved his free hand towards her head and began stroking her hair.

"You're so beautiful, Clare," he whispered to her. "You always are no matter what. I know there are times when you don't believe me, but you are. You are also smart, funny, and just wonderful; I seriously can't ask for a better girlfriend than you because you really are the best girlfriend in the world."

They had not been alone for more than a minute and he was already beginning to crack.

"I miss the way you make me laugh. And I also miss your smile; that's another one of the amazing things about you. I miss your eyes . . . and your voice . . . basically anything you can think of."

Noises from the machine echoed around the room, reminding Eli how real this situation was. Never in his whole life had he felt so guilt-ridden, scared, furious, and alone all at once.

"Eli?" someone said behind him, bringing him out of his emotional trance. He looked over his shoulder and saw Clare's two best friends stepping into the room. They had both just saw her for the first time since she had come to hospital and they were instantly terrified; Adam was informed of everything last night when Eli got home while Alli heard it from Helen and they both hoped that Clare would pull through.

"Hey," he greeted in a rough voice. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We thought we'd come by since we were both on break," Alli answered as they stepped towards the bed.

"Has anything changed?" asked Adam, hope heavy in his tone.

Eli shook his head, and the duo felt their stomachs churn painfully.

"No news is good news, right?" Alli said, trying to make everyone think optimistically.

Eli and Adam were mute, unsure whether to agree or disagree. Eli continued to sit and while the other two paused next to Clare's bed. Alli stood at farthest away at end of the bed, gazing at her best friend. Never in her life had she seen someone so helpless and weak.

"I can't believe this happened," she admitted.

"Me neither," Adam confessed. "I mean, I knew Kate did anything to get what she wanted, but I never thought she would . . ."

He trailed off, still not wanting to accept that Clare was here because of Kate. No one expected this to happen; they never dreamed that Clare would be living this fate before she had a true chance to embrace life.

"But she'll make it, right?" Alli said, making another attempt to see the glass half full.

"O-Of course," Adam reassured even though he was quite unsure. "It's Saint Clare; she has never let anyone down yet, so she won't stop now."

Eli felt the guilt in the pit of his stomach increase; Clare may not have ever let anyone down, but he felt like he let her down. He tried to erase the accusations Kate made that stated that it was his fault if Clare died, but he could not deny the truth within them. He could not help but wonder if he never trusted her; maybe then this past year wouldn't have been such a roller coaster.

He kept his inner shame to himself; he had the feeling that if he told Alli, Adam, his parents, or anyone else in the world, they would just try to convince him otherwise. He did not want to hear their protests, for he knew the truth and he will stand by it and he did not want to waste time on a parade telling him that it was not his fault. He still blamed himself for Julia's death, but he had learned to not hate himself for it. If Clare died, however, that would mean two people he cared about would've lost their lives because of him and he would despise himself forever because of it.

()()

Half an hour later, Alli and Adam had to leave to return to their jobs. Randall, Alyson, and Melissa never returned, therefore it was only Eli and Helen with Clare at this moment. He continued to sit by her left side and hold her hand while Helen sat on her right and smoothed the hair atop of daughter's head. Something had been on her mind since she received a phone call in the hallway and she wanted to discuss it with Eli, but she waited until they were alone. Helen took a breath and prepared to speak, relieved that she could get it off her chest.

"When I was in the hall a few minutes ago, I got a call from the police department," she informed Eli. As he heard these words, he lifted his eyes from Clare to Helen, unsure of what he was going to hear. "They're arranging a trial for the case against Kate, but . . . they hardly have any evidence against her."

"Does that mean she's going to be set free?" Eli asked.

Helen shrugged.

"The fire department and investigators found enough evidence from the scene to hold her until the trial, but they're unsure if it will convince the jury she's guilty."

Anger and dread became reacquainted with Eli. Kate nearly murdered Clare and she could be free to go? No. The idea of that happening drove Eli to do anything in his power to prevent Kate Parker's freedom and he'll pay any price. He glanced at Clare and then turned back to Helen.

"What are we going to do?" he asked.

"I'm going to call my lawyer and, hopefully, she'll be able to help us. Officer Turner is going to give a testimony and we're hoping that Clare . . . could speak as well . . ." She trialed off, knowing that her daughter probably won't be around to go to any courtroom. She took a breath, turned to Clare, stared at her with troubled eyes, and then faced Eli again.

"And . . .," she began apprehensively, "Eli, you've done so much for Clare, and I know it's a lot to ask, but –."

"I'll testify," he agreed immediately. He meant it when he said he would do anything to keep Kate in prison and that included speaking in front of lawyers and a jury. He noticed the appeasement swim into Helen's eyes in the form of tears.

"When is it?" he asked.

"They're still arranging it, but I'll let you know when they decide on a date."

"Okay," he accepted.

"I know I shouldn't be asking after what you did last night, but . . . I really, _really_ want this person to get what they deserve and I'm trying to find all the help we can get."

"Believe me, Mrs. Edwards, I want the exact same thing."

()()

CeCe and Bullfrog came to the hospital a little before nine o'clock to come get Eli. They offered more sympathy and condolences to Helen, who was going to stay with Clare until she absolutely had to leave. Eli whispered his love to Clare, softly kissed her cheek, and said goodbye to Mrs. Edwards before leaving with this parents.

As they drove home that night, thoughts began swirling in his head. He began recalling what Kate had said the night before more than ever. He was already blaming himself, but her voice echoed through his head.

"_If Clare dies, all you'll be able to think about is how you broke my heart and pushed me to my breaking point so I would have to do something this extreme! I didn't kill her, Eli! _You_ did_!"

He was starting to believe that she was right. If Clare was to die, it would be because of him. If he saw everything sooner, believed Adam and Clare's suspicions, and did not give Kate the wrong idea or anything, none of this would've happened. But it was happening and it shouldn't have happened to Clare. He saw himself as the one who made many of the mistakes this year, so he should've been the one to be punished for it, not Clare.

_He _should have been the one in the fire. _He_ should have been the one who was unconscious in a hospital. _He_ should have been the one on the brink of death. Not Clare. No, Clare was the one who deserved to be enjoying her life and living each day to the fullest.

Then again, he did not want her worrying like he was right now. At least she didn't feel any kind of pain while she was in a coma and she did not have to worry about anything. Kate was right; he was living with guilt that he could lose Clare, and that was a torture worse than being crushed by smoke or burning alive.

He went straight to his room when they got home. Bullfrog and CeCe tried to talk to him about how he was feeling and whatnot, but all he wanted was to be alone. Once he was in the solitude of his room, he didn't bother getting changed, taking off his shoes, nothing; he collapsed straight onto his bed and absorbed the pain he carried, seeing no escape from it. He turned on his side and saw the picture of him and Clare at the carnival last summer. It was earthshattering to know that Clare may not be able to be here by the time the one year anniversary of that day came around.

"Please come back soon, Clare," he told her picture, awaiting the day he could listen to her voice again . . . assuming that such a day would come.

* * *

"_I fear I might break _

_And I fear I can't take it"_

_~"Pressure" by Paramore_

* * *

Okay, not the best, but not exactly the worst. Reviews please!


	81. God Only Knows

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

I love you all for your reviews! And I decided that I'm going to stop giving thanks over PM for the most part; it's becoming tedious to log on every time and I feel bad that I can't personally thank others because they disabled private messaging or they have an anonymous account. So, starting now, I'm going to give shout outs in A/N's like I did before! So, thank you My world of Eli, Babo, Eclarexoxo, Ryuno chu, ForeverInYourArms, ilovetaylorswift13, Degrassistar, J.A.L.L, simplecrafter, and those reviewers on Twitter for your comments! They mean a lot! Intense chapter today (*spoiler alert*); I hope you guys like it. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer (mirror style): issargeD nwo ton od I

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Chapter Eight-One

God Only Knows

Repairs for Degrassi began immediately after Friday's disaster; the halls weren't going to be difficult to fix and they weren't going to take much time at all, but the Art room was going to take some time to redo. The students in that class would have to take their classes outdoors, in the cafeteria, or in a different classroom until the school year was over since the room would take most of the summer to fix.

For now, all the Degrassi students were going to Lakehurst and other neighboring schools until the repairs for the hallways were complete. If everything was kept on schedule, the students could return by next Monday; it was a relief to them all that it wouldn't be too long until they were back in their usual environment.

Unfortunately, there was still one student who would not be joining her peers in the unfamiliar halls.

Clare was still unresponsive on Sunday and it began to worry everyone, especially her doctors and family. Eli made it a priority of his to come visit her every day and he stayed by her side every second he could. On this day, he was there before anyone else because her family was at church. He came with a tulip again; he promised her yesterday that he would bring her a flower for every day she was in there and that was what he was going to do. There were only two in the vase right now and Eli hoped that he did not have to go any higher than that. He took the seat next to her and gently held her hand as he did the night before.

"Hi," he said to her in a somewhat strangled voice. "Everyone starts at Lakehurst tomorrow; it's going to be different from Degrassi, but hopefully we won't be there for long. Um . . . not much has happened between now and when I left last night. My parents are worried about you and they're hoping that you get better soon. Your family's at church; I bet everyone there is worried about you and they'd be praying for you or something."

Although he did not share their faith, Eli could not help but feel useless; they could hope and pray to their God for guidance, but the most he could do was sit next to Clare and talk to her. He wished he could do something more than this, but he couldn't.

"I wish I could do more for you, sweetheart," he said to her. "Believe me, if I could do _anything_ to help you right now, I would. But I can't donate a kidney or anything, so I hope that this is enough until I figure something I can do. I know you that if you could speak right now, you'd say 'you being here is all I need, Eli' or something like that, but you know I would anyway."

No one could even begin to comprehend how much Eli wished for Clare to say those words for herself, but that was not an option. Not only would she be giving him her unconditional reassurance, but he would be able to hear the voice that was music to his ears; he did not want to be faced with the idea that he would never hear her again. He then began to reflect on the last time he heard her voice before she was put in peril . . .

"_I'll be back in a minute_," was what she said before leaving the auditorium.

The last time he held her in his arms . . .

_They were getting ready for the last performance of the play and he snuck up from behind and called her the leading lady of his life_.

The last time he kissed her . . .

_They were backstage, joking with each other and they each met each other's lips for a quick second._

How Eli wished that act of endearment lasted longer. He did not want that to be the last time he would feel Clare's kiss; he wanted their last kiss to be far in the future when they were an old married couple, not teenagers who were still in school. There was nothing he wouldn't do right now to go back in time and relive those moments or to experience those feelings one last time because he knew that he would not feel the same if it was with anyone else in the world.

Eli's heart began wandering in his emotions and he was brought back to the hospital when Clare's parents, Alyson, and Melissa entered the room at noon; they each exchanged silent greetings with Eli before directing all of their attention to the girl lying unconsciously on the bed.

"Any news?" Melissa asked him.

"No," he said quietly.

Feeling disconsolate, the group of people stood around Clare and began saying mute prayers in their hearts, begging God to bring her back to the world.

"Mr. and Mrs. Edwards?"

Everyone turned their heads towards the door and saw Doctor Harnage standing in the doorway, a grave and solemn demeanor on his face; everyone's hearts froze at the sight of him.

"May I speak to you both?" he asked.

Frightened of what they were going to hear, Helen and Randall followed him; they left the room to talk to the doctor while Melissa, Alyson, and Eli stayed by Clare's side. It was quiet for a moment; the remaining conscious trio listened sharply to hear the discussion the others were having in the hallway, but they could not make out a word over the commotion in the corridors outside or the sounds of the instruments in the room. Giving up on eavesdropping, they began to focus on Clare again, wanting her to open her eyes at any second just in case bad news was heading their way.

"I'm sorry I was rude to you at that dinner a while back," Melissa unexpectedly said to Clare's body.

Eli could not believe his ears, thus he was more surprised when Alyson spoke.

"Me too," were the words that escaped her disheartened lips.

A small portion of Eli was disgusted that they waited until now to say the words Clare had been wanting to hear for weeks. The rest of him, however, was glad they finally apologized; saying sorry while she was in a coma was better than not saying sorry at all.

_If only she was awake to hear that_, he thought.

Everyone was still until Helen and Randall stepped back into the room and anyone could've felt the mood of the atmosphere turn from bad to worse. Helen had tears on her face and Randall tried not to show his. Eli became terrified when he saw his future mother-in-law's tears.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"I need to talk to you about something."

He let go of Clare's hand and followed Helen into the hall. Once they were alone, Helen inhaled a shaky break and wiped her eyes before looking at Eli. He facial features and saddened eyes were increasing the uneasy churning in his stomach, giving him the God-awful feeling that nothing good will be coming from this conversation.

"She hasn't shown any signs of improvement," she informed him. "She should've by now, but there hasn't been anything. That's not a good sign . . . and if she hasn't shown anything by now, the doctors don't think she will."

Helen sucked in some more air and blinked a couple tears away.

"And . . . her doctor is suggesting that we . . . let her leave this world in peace."

Eli's heart skipped a beat, causing both physical and emotional pain to surge through him.

"Mrs. Edwards . . . you're not going to take her off the machines, are you?"

"We can't keep her on it forever; she's already been on it for a few days . . ."

"B-But these things take time, right? I mean, it's only her second day in here," he stated, attempting to change her mind.

"Eli, any chances of improvement are slim. Even if we keep her on them for a week, she probably won't get any better. Clare's dad and I have talked about it and we . . . we figure it will be easier for all of us in the long run if we let her go now."

He could not believe that everything he and Clare went through had come to this; they had finally picked up all broken pieces between them, they were moving on with their lives, and they were prepared to take on the struggles of the world together. He did not want to concede that their story could end or begin to here in this room when she would be taken off the ventilator and lose her life.

"When?"

"In a few hours."

He refused to accept the fact that he only had such a small amount of time left with Clare and they would not be able to communicate at all. Sure, he would be able to say goodbye to her, but she could not say goodbye to him and the mere thought of that crushed Eli.

"Will it hurt her if she's on them for a bit longer?" he asked.

"No, but, Eli, she wouldn't want to prolong this; they said her chances aren't that great and –."

"Let's just give her more time. Clare's strong; she'll get better."

"We can _hope_ that she can get better; if we leave her on the ventilator and everything, we'll get our hopes up and then that day will come when we have no choice but to take her off them."

"No, it won't, because she's going to wake up eventually," Eli protested, hoping that his argument was valid and would soon become a fact.

"Listen, I don't want us to do it either, but we have to face the facts."

Eli was not going to give up so easily; if he could keep Clare around forever, he would, so he was going to see if he could give her the fair chance she deserved to recover. He was not going to let Clare be robbed of her life because of him and Kate and he was trying to buy as much time as possible for her.

"Just a few more days. _Please_. I know this is ultimately your and Mr. Edwards's call, but please, please, _please_ think about waiting a few more days," he begged while tears stung his eyes. "Give her more time to get better. Please."

Helen closed her eyes and took a few breaths. She did not want her daughter to die and she wanted to give her any possible chance to come back, but she could not help but think that this would just give them false hope. On the other hand, two days was not a very long time; maybe giving her another couple of days would help her chances. Drawing a single conclusion, she opened her eyes and looked at Eli again.

"I'll talk to Randall about waiting a few more days."

The tears broke free onto Eli's face at the sound of those words.

"Thank you," he said.

()()

After an hour long conversation with Randall, the divorcees had reached their final decision as to what they should do. When they told him their plan, his heart burst; he was now forever grateful to the Edwards, for they were allowing Clare to have three more days to improve. Although he really wanted to persuade them to keep her on the machines until she woke up, Eli knew three days was better than nothing and he was not going to grovel for more time after they made this conclusion, which he could tell was not easy for them to do. They even told him that if Clare was not back with them by Wednesday, they were going to let her go; he did not want to accept it, but had no choice. He hoped that three more days would be enough and, by Wednesday, he would be able to hold Clare and not have to see the tube that was currently in her throat.

Eli was finally alone with Clare by six o'clock; everyone else went to a service that the church was having just for Clare. They asked him if they wanted to come, but he knew that church was not a place he should be, so he remained by his girlfriend's side. He sat at her bedside and took her hand, feeling the promise ring against the heel of his hand. He did not want to believe just how limited his time with her could be and there was the possibility that he would be forced to walk alone through life.

He looked at the ring resting on her finger and his eyes swelled up with tears again. He began thinking of what would happen if Clare was taken off the ventilator; she would die and he would never be able to marry her like he dreamed. The thought of that happening made him break; he could not imagine his life without Clare and it was scary that it could become his reality in a matter of days.

"Clare . . . I'm not sure if you can hear me or not, but _please_ try to hear this," he started as he tried to keep tears in his eyes. "I want to hear your voice and see your eyes, but you have to wake up first. Your parents are going to take you off the machines on Wednesday if you don't and you know what that means."

Tears slowly began to cascade down his face and fell onto the ground.

"Don't leave, Clare," Eli pleaded. "Keep fighting and wake up. I don't want to live without you, so please don't leave. I love you and I would do anything to keep you here, but I can't do anything. But if I could do something, I would and I'll do it without a second thought if it means you'll wake up. I'll come here every single day and bring you a flower until you come back, but I'll do more than that. I'm not exactly sure what else I can do, but I'll figure it out."

He took a moment to shed more tears and he ended up crying harder than ever.

"Please, Clare. Please, wake up," he called to her hysterically, putting his head next to hers without disturbing the device in her mouth. "Don't let them take you away from me. Fight, Clare. Please, please, _please_!"

He hoped in vain that she would hear his voice and wake up like in the movies, but she remained vegetated. Some of his tears fell onto her skin as he wished for Clare to wake up before her time went away.

"P-Please," he muttered over and over again until he had run out of tears for the time being. He was unsure how long he cried onto her bed, but he did not care; he let his tears flood out of his eyes and he did not stop until he was done bawling. After some time, he finally lifted his head away from her, his eyes bloodshot and face tearstained.

"Sorry," he said to her, clearing the tears on his face with his free hand. "I'm just really scared. If you die . . . I lose the love of my life . . . my best friend . . . my everything."

He sat by her, only wanting to take his arms and comfort her but knowing that he could not. Wanting to give her some sort of consolation, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her skin.

"I love you so much," he told her, holding that one hand in both of his. "I-I don't want to lose you so keep fighting, okay? And you have a life of your own to live and you deserve to do it."

He sat by her side and repeated this sort of words to her over and over again, spilling one or two tears every so often. When he saw the clock read ten minutes till nine, he knew he should get home. He stood up before leaving a kiss on her head.

"I'll come back tomorrow," he promised. "I love you."

As he walked away, the ghost of his past memories came and he could practically hear Clare saying "I love you too."

* * *

"_So hard to see through the tears I've cried_

_Yeah I still need you_

'_Cause I don't want to_

_If I don't have to_

_Ever let you go"_

_~"God Only Knows" by Orianthi_

* * *

CRAP ENDING!

Okay, there's now a Vlog on YouTube about what was originally going to happen in Chapter 50 plus other stuff if you want to check it out! Just go to my channel and look for "Vlog!"

Recommendation: for Manny fans, check out "Losing Someone You Love" by BeautifulEyes20122013 and, EClare fans, check out "Celebrity Status" by simplecrafter if you haven't already.

Review please!


	82. Please Remember

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

AMAZING! We're almost at the 900 goal! We have only 36 more reviews to go, and I really think we can make it before Saturday! Thanks everyone! Thanks ForeverInYourArms, Ryuno chu, My world of Eli, Degrassistar, JDDCdancer1497, ilovetaylorswift13, IHeartSprinkles, king. and .queen, kylieegirl, RachRox12, simplecrafter, Babo, DancingUnderMoonlight18, and twinkletoes (BTW, that idea is good! I wish I thought of that sooner so I could've used it), Eclarexoxo, ashleyforever13, Moxxy, J.A.L.L, and all feedback on Twitter! You are all amazing! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, and my Black Veil Brides, Paramore, Harry Potter, Evanescence, Carrie Underwood, Avril Lavigne, Conditions, VersaEmerge, Martina McBride, Evanescence, Demi Lovato, Kelly Clarkson, Star Wars, and Taylor Swift posters can vouch for me! I just realized I need to put up an EClare tribute on my wall (note to self)!

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Chapter Eighty-Two

Please Remember

"Do you want to go to school today?" Bullfrog asked Eli in the kitchen on Monday morning. "Because, if you don't want to, you can stay home or stay with Clare at the hospital."

The idea sounded inviting to him at first. He wouldn't have to venture the halls of Lakehurst without the person who brought light to his life; if he went there and Clare wasn't with him, it would be cold and miserable. Then again, how would he feel if he was left alone at home with nothing to dwell on but memories? How would he feel if he was at the hospital with her while being reminded constantly that she could die in that very spot? At least there was the small chance of him escaping the horrid thoughts that have constantly crossed his mind over past couple of days by going to school.

"Clare would want me to go, or at least try," he settled.

"Are you sure?" Bullfrog asked.

Eli simply nodded and picked up his bag.

"I should get going."

"Okay, but if everything becomes too much, your mom and I are going to be here all day," his dad informed.

Without a word, Eli put his bag on his shoulder, grabbed his keys to Morty, and began walking towards the door; he opened it and was about to step outside when he turned back to look into the house.

"If anything changes –."

"I'll come to the school and let you know," Bullfrog promised him.

Grateful, Eli left his house and climbed into Morty. He looked to the passenger side, realizing that he would not be taking Clare to school or bringing her home today. Snapping his eyes back to the front of the car, he turned the key and prepared to travel, but a song on a radio distracted him. "Holiday" by Green Day was playing and Eli remembered the Spring Jam that he and Clare went to barely three months ago; he recalled how this was the first song that was played and that the two of them sang and cheered with the rest of the audience. The memory becoming too painful to look back on, Eli turned the radio all the way down until the only sound he heard was the engine.

It was torture how everything was reminding him of Clare; his room reminded him for she had been in there so many times ever since she discovered his hoarding and she also came there to do homework and hang out with him.

He did not want what had passed to just be the memorable moments of Clare's life; he wanted her to experience more and do everything she dreamed of and it was unfair that it could be taken away from someone so innocent.

These thoughts echoed his mind as he drove, amazed that he did not wreck or get lost because his head was too high up in the clouds. He arrived at the school and found a parking spot. He climbed out, unsure of what to expect, not that he cared much; in fact, he could've cared less about temporarily going into an unfamiliar school. Just like it had been all weekend, Clare was all he could think about.

He saw Adam at the entrance waiting for him and, after exchanging quick hellos, they began to see the insides of this high school for the first time. They walked through the halls, noticing a fair number of Degrassi students in company with students who attended Lakehurst. Eli noticed how most of them were turning heads to look at him. Over the weekend, there were many stories on the news and in newspaper articles to give details as to what happened in Degrassi that night. Somehow, they all got his picture and they were able to show what he looked like, so it made sense that these unfamiliar faces recognized him.

Desperate to escape their gazes, Eli and Adam decided to find out where they would be taking their Calculus class for the next few days; once they learned that their location was just down the hall from the front desk, they made their way there, passing all the crowds that were gawking and whispering. As they passed, they heard bits and pieces of their conversations.

"Do you think he really saved that girl?" a Lakehurst teenager asked her friend.

"He must've," the friend answered.

"How do you think he's feeling since that Edwards girl is still in the hospital?" a Degrassi student asked his peers asked in a different group.

"Devastated, I guess," Owen answered. "Everyone knows how much he loved her."

_Loves_, Eli corrected in his head.

"I heard that he dated the girl who they say started the fire. Kate Parker or something," Marisol Lewis said to Katie Matlin and Katie's sister, Maya.

"No way," Katie protested. "That has to be a rumor."

"Damn right," he muttered, wishing more than ever that he had never met Kate when they were kids or that she had never come to Degrassi. He and Adam sped towards the class, moving in haste to abandon the halls.

"This is weird," Adam stated as they stepped inside the appropriate classroom, which was currently vacant.

"Yeah," Eli replied, sitting in the back and Adam taking the seat next to him. "You'd think people would save the gossip until we weren't in earshot."

"Not that," he said. "I mean . . . usually you, Clare, and I would meet at school every morning, I'd make fun of you two for acting all lovey-dovey, and then we'd go to class. We can't do that now."

"Don't remind me," he said.

"Sorry," Adam said, seeing that his friend wanted to recoil himself from the memories of Clare in the hospital.

Eli sat there, wanting school to begin just so it could end and so he could go see Clare again.

()()

Eli was not quite sure how it happened, but he got through his first day at Lakehurst. At least once every minute, however, he remembered how Clare's life was hanging in the balance. His plan that his brain would become distracted with schoolwork failed miserably and Clare took over his mind.

Time was luxury they did not have, so Eli spent most of his day figuring out ways to coax Clare out of her coma. He did not pay attention to his teachers, he went to the seclusion of Morty during lunch, and he avoided the world at every moment possible. By the end of the day, he had formulated a few ideas and he wanted the day to be over so he could get to the hospital. He did consider skipping the rest of the day, but, like he told Bullfrog that morning, he knew Clare would've have wanted him to try; if it wasn't for that and his haunting terrors, however, he probably would've never gone to school in the first place.

It was the longest day at school he had ever had and it was a huge relief to hear the bell ring to signal the end of the day. He escaped the school, once again being forced to listen to the people talking about him, Kate, and Clare as he walked; he had to put up with this all day and he was close to breaking because of it. It was thanks to Adam that he was able to remain calm and he did not take out any of his fear and frustration on the strangers around him.

Eli hopped into Morty again and began driving, remembering to stop by the florist to get Clare another tulip before going to the hospital. He had half a mind to call Peter and ask for the day off work, but it would've been too late to find someone to cover for him; he had two and a half hours until he had to be at the Dot though and he was okay with that.

Within a matter of minutes, he was going down the hospital hallway that would lead to her room, his bag over his shoulder as held the single tulip in his hand, desperately hoping for good news to be coming his way. He expected to walk into her room and see her with a tube down her throat, an IV in her arm, and a pulse monitor on her index finger . . . and that is what he saw.

"Has anything changed?" he asked the nurse who was changing Clare's IV bag.

"I'm afraid not," she answered. She left a couple of seconds later and it was just Eli and Clare all alone in the room.

"Hey, sweetheart," he greeted her, stepping closer to her bed. He had to remind himself that she wouldn't turn pink, grin, or giggle as he called her this name; the fact that she couldn't do any of that made his heart tear a little more. He put the third pink tulip in the vase next to her bed before he sat in his usual seat and took her hand. "I'm sorry I'm not going to stay too long today; I have to work and visiting hours will be over by the time I get off. But you know I'd stay with you for as long as I could, right?"

Silence.

"Right," he said with a light chuckle. "You already know."

He moved his free hand up to her head and stroked her hair.

"Remember how we met?" he said to her body. "How I ran over your glasses and everything? I, honestly, didn't have any idea how much my life was going to change after that day; I never expected that the girl with the pretty eyes would become the love of my life, but she did and now I can't live my life without her. Seriously, Clare, it's only been three days since you haven't been around and I'm already losing my mind."

Once again, the only response he got was from the sound of the monitor that was measuring Clare's heart rate. Hoping that there would never be a day when she would flat line, Eli decided to put a plan of his into action. He released her hand before digging something out of his bag. He pulled out his iPod and a small portable speaker. He turned it on and scrolled to the song "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides.

"Maybe playing our song a few times will help bring you back."

The soft music began playing as he put the devices on the table before taking her hand again.

"Remember when we first danced to this song and made it ours?" he began when the lyrics started. He hoped that narrating these memories would trigger something in Clare's mind and that she would wake up because of it. "We just got back from the Spring Jam and we slow danced to this song when we got back to your house; I thought it was cool how we both thought that this was the song for us. And, after we danced, I spent the night since your parents weren't home then we made love for the first time, remember?"

Highlights from that moment soared through his mind and the tears came for the first time since he came into the hospital. What if that night was Clare's first and last time? Trying not to dwell on the dark possibility, he blinked the tears out of his eyes and began to talk again.

"It was a great night; it wasn't just great because we had sex, but we also reconnected and stuff since we were still trying to forget the drama that Kate started."

He softly squeezed her hand before speaking again, the memory of all of Kate's actions coming back to him faster than the speed of light; his guilt flooded back to him, but he shook it off so he could speak to Clare. Now was not the time to kick himself down; it was time to help her in any way possible and this was the only way he knew how.

"But that was one of the best nights I've ever had. In fact, that was one of the three best nights of my life; I also loved the night when you first told me you loved me and when we were in Kingston and we decided that we will get married one day. All of those nights changed my life in the best ways possible and I'm glad that it was all because of you. I guess you're just amazing that way," he said, giving her a small grin.

He then heard a line come from the speakers . . . _the _line:

"_No dust will ever grow on this frame_

_One million years and I will say your name_"

When they got back from the concert that night, Clare told him that this line described their love for each other perfectly. Eli definitely agreed that this line summed up their relationship along with the rest of the song and he wished to go back to that night in February to dance to this song and make love to Clare again one last time.

"I have something else to tell you, Clare, and I'll tell you it again when you wake up, but I'm going to go ahead and tell you just in case I . . . I never get to tell you. I really wish I told you this sooner, but I'm going to tell you now. You were the best I ever had; I don't even know how I can begin to describe it other than that. I mean, it was great with Julia, but with you it's _beyond_ out of this world; maybe I'm biased about it or something, but I still mean it."

He sniffled.

"You're perfect," he said. "I know you don't think so, but you are. We all have our flaws, but the fact that you know that you have yours and you accept them makes you even more amazing. I don't know how I got so lucky to get you as a girlfriend because you could get any guy you wanted, but you chose me out of all the other guys in the world and I'm really thankful for that."

Still not seeing any reactions from her, Eli spoke more, not caring if he was rambling at this point.

"You're going to wake up," he told her with determination. "And you'll get out of here, we'll go to prom, we'll have that long-distance relationship for a year, then you'll come to Ottawa like we planned, and then we'll come back down here after you graduate, and then we'll married and spend the rest of our lives together. At least, that's what we planned so far and that's what I hope will happen; but, if you change your mind about attending Ottawa or anything, I'll be okay with it; right now, all I want for you is to wake up and do what you want and not be in this place much longer."

It was becoming harder and harder for Eli to speak because teardrops were coming to his eyes and they were increasing, therefore making it nearly impossible to stop coming onto his cheeks.

Once the song finished, Eli restarted it; he figured that the more he played it, the better chance Clare would have a chance to hear it. As time passed, however, it did not seem to be working. But Eli was driven and he was not going to give up; he talked to her, kissed her hand repeatedly, and even sang with some of the song at times.

Once he finished retelling Clare about their first date and the story of their six month anniversary, Eli checked the clock and saw that it was five fifteen. Time had gone by fast and it was time for him to depart even though he wished he could stay with her.

"I'm sorry but I need to get going to work. I'll be thinking of you every second, though. I'll come back tomorrow."

He packed away his iPod and speakers before standing up on his feet and leaning down to kiss her head.

"I love you," he whispered to her.

()()

_Degrassi was inflamed. He was moving down the hall, searching frantically for Clare. He knew that she was in trouble and she needed help. He could breathe easily although smoke surrounded him; he also didn't feel the heat the flames were giving off. It was odd, but he did not care; his love was in danger and she needed him to save her._

_He was going through the maze that was the school when he heard it . . ._

_"Eli!" her voice screamed._

_"Clare!" he called, looking everywhere to find from where her cries traveled. Not having any reason behind it, he ran towards the auditorium, avoiding the inferno all the while. He found the auditorium and saw Clare standing in the center of the stage. Flames were everywhere except for a small circle she was standing in and a long path that led to her._

_"Eli!" she hollered to him, her voice panic-stricken; it seemed that she was unable to move. He began to move towards her, but, out of nowhere, a bunch of flames blocked his path and the view of his girlfriend._

_"Eli!" she shrilled._

_"Clare!" he bellowed, terrified._

_He then heard coughing and choking . . . then a scream . . . then silence save for the crackling of flames and the sound of his heart beating in his ears._

_"No! Clare! No! No! _NO_!"_

_He began to shake . . ._

. . . And this was because CeCe's hand was on his shoulder, gently rocking him.

"No, no, Clare, no," he muttered in his sleep.

"Eli," she said calmly yet firmly. "Eli. Eli, wake up."

His eyes snapped open as he heard his mother. He could feel that he was drenched in sweat and that a fair few tears had leaked through his eyes as he slept; he was panting as though he had just run a marathon and his heart was beating painfully inside him.

"Are you alright?" CeCe asked him.

Eli sat up and wiped the sweat and tears off his face, only to be replaced by more.

"Eli?" CeCe asked worriedly. Her son took a few more deep breaths before swallowing a lump in his throat and turning to her.

"C-Clare's going to die, isn't she?" he choked.

"Oh, no, no, _no_, baby boy," she said. "She's going to be fine."

"Mom, she inhaled _so_ much smoke . . . she stopped breathing . . ." He sniffled before clearing his eyes and trying to continue. "You saw her at the hospital . . . machines are the only things keep her alive right now. W-We just have to wait and see if she gets better, but . . . but what if she doesn't?"

CeCe pulled Eli into a motherly hug. He soon began to cry and she didn't protest; she let him cry for as long as he needed . . . and that was a very long time.

"She's Clare," she reminded him after he cried for twenty minutes. "She's not going anywhere."

"But what if she's t-taken off the machines before she gets better?" he choked. "She doesn't have much time."

"It'll be alright, sweetie," she soothed him. "It'll be alright. You always said that she could be stubborn, so she'll wake up and be out of there in little to no time."

Eli did not believe her; although he hoped Clare would pull through, he knew she was as good as dead.

"I should've gotten to her sooner," he said after he had sobbed for forty minutes.

"The important thing is that you got to her. She has a chance because of you."

Eli held his tongue, once again, as the regret reentered his soul. He had tried convincing himself that it was not his fault that Clare was not living in the world right now, but, at the end of the day, he pointed the finger at himself along with Kate.

"I-I'm scared," he confessed.

"I know," she soothed him. "We all are, but if we wait a bit longer, Clare will wake up and she'll be with us again."

"I don't want to lose her."

"You won't," she eased him. "You love her, so she'll always be with you, just like how Julia is with you."

Eli cried some more, not wanting Clare to be like Julia and only be with him in spirit; he wanted her by his side, holding his hand, and staying with him until time, not circumstance, brought death upon them.

* * *

"_Time, sometimes the time just slips away_

_And you're left with yesterday_

_Left with the memories"_

_~"Please Remember" by LeAnn Rimes_

* * *

Sorry that I keep making you guys wait to see if Clare makes it or not, but I like keeping things interesting!

Recommendation: If you love fluff, read stories from AndySixxElijahhGoldsworthy3xx. I love her and her penname (major Black Veil Brides and Eli fan here)!

Review please! Let's keep our eye on those 900 reviews!


	83. When You're Gone

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Okay, I think we will reach the 900 goal more than ever now! Thank you everyone for the most amazing reviews! You guys always make me smile and I love you all! Short chapter today; not quite sure if I like it or not, so you guys decide. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, but I don't own Degrassi

* * *

Chapter Eighty-Three

When You're Gone

"Eli, you have to eat something," Adam said to him the next day at lunch.

"I'm not hungry."

"Seriously, I haven't seen you eat anything since Friday."

They were in the Lakehurst cafeteria and Eli was sitting across from Adam with nothing in front of him while Adam had a chicken sandwich, fries, an orange, and some Gatorade. In truth, Eli had not eaten much of anything the past few days; he had been living on water and fruit, not really caring to eat healthy considering Clare was unconscious on a mattress in a hospital.

"Have you eaten at all in the last three days?" Adam questioned him.

"I have, just not as much."

"You have to take care of yourself! Look at you! You're becoming skin and bone," Adam observed, gesturing at Eli. It was true; the flesh on his bones was weakening considering he had not been eating and he had been traveling around a school, rushing through a hospital, and pacing around his room a lot lately.

"Clare wouldn't want you doing this," Adam said calmly, knowing that his lack of eating was coming from her absence.

"I'm just not in the mood to eat, okay?" he snapped not wanting Adam to bring Clare up right now; tomorrow was Wednesday and that meant that she would be taken off the equipment tomorrow and pass away. That was the one thought Eli did not wish to dwell on, but Adam was not helping the situation.

"But starving yourself is not going to bring her back!" he shouted.

"I know that, Adam!" Eli hollered.

People passing by and others from a few tables around them looked over to find out what the commotion was about, but Eli didn't pay mind to them. He put his elbows on the table and rubbed his eyes, not wanting to see the people staring at him. He took a trembling breath, trying to compose himself and to not lose his temper again. He was furious at himself for shouting at Adam, who was just worried and was trying to help. He lifted his head up to look at his friend and he saw the fear in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Eli apologized. "I'm just scared."

"So am I."

They both sat there in the quiet, fear continuing to go through them. Eli gazed down at his hands and saw the ring he was wearing; it was a skull with a green jewel in the right eye. Clare gave him this ring for his seventeenth birthday. Ever since then, this ring had become a good luck charm of some sort; whenever he wore it, good things happened to him and he always had a great day. He put it on this morning, wanting to believe that it was actually lucky and not that all those other times from before were just mere coincidence.

"When are they going to take her off the machines?" Adam asked, pulling Eli out of his thoughts.

"Tomorrow night," Eli answered, his throat strangling him. "Hopefully she wake up before then and we won't have to worry about her . . ."

He trailed off, stopping himself from saying anything that would plunge a knife through his soul. Everything from the last few days suddenly came on top of him; all the fear, guilt, and sadness fell onto his shoulders and he could not deal with it. He felt his body begin to quiver and he knew that he had to get out of this place.

"I need some air," he said, standing up from the table before grabbing his bag and leaving the cafeteria.

He rushed towards the cafeteria's exit and made a beeline for the parking lot. He found his vehicle in a matter of seconds before making his way towards it; shaking, Eli climbed into the back of the car. This was probably one of the few places he could go and not be disturbed; there were too many people at school and he was unable to get peace in there and his parents were always checking up on him while he tried to stay hidden in his room. He knew that they were just trying to help, but he needed time to himself when he wasn't by Clare's side. Thankfully, Morty provided a sanctuary . . . a safe haven . . . until more memories of Clare found their way into his mind . . .

He lied there, recalling how twice he and Clare came back here to try making love, but they never got to it because of the interruptions. He turned to his side and noticed that he was resting on a large, black blanket that he always kept back here; Clare lied on this blanket when they came back here those two times. The very thought that the two of them would never rekindle their love back here demolished one of the few remains of his heart. More tears attacked his eyes and he began clinging to the black blanket. He scrunched his eyes together and . . .

"It'll be okay, Eli," a soothing voice said. He opened his eyes and saw Clare next to him; she was lying next to him in her hospital gown. Her eyes were glistening and she was giving him the smile he had fallen in love with over and over again. More tears came, knowing that this was not really happening and that it was his mind playing a cruel game with him.

"How do you know, Clare?" he asked the figment.

"I just know," she said.

But Eli was not buying it.

"You can't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere."

He still did not believe it.

"I-I wanted us to stay together until the day we died; and I mean in the way when we were old. Not now when we haven't even been together for a year and a half."

"It'll be okay," she restated.

"No, it won't," he choked out through his devastated heart. "You know it won't."

"Hey," she said with a grin, scooting closer to him. "I never gave up on you, so don't you give up on me."

"I'm so scared, Clare."

"I know, Elijah," she said. "But I'll never be too far away."

"I don't want to say goodbye to you."

"It'll be okay," she stated for the third and final time.

He blinked and then she was gone. His heart broke; it may not have been the real Clare, but it felt genuine enough to him. He replayed the vivid scene in his memory, not wanting _that _to be the last time that the two of them would have a conversation.

Tears were smothering his eyes by now and, in no time at all, they fell out of his eyes and onto the black of the blanket. In this instance, Eli began to comprehend that there was not a place in this world that could protect him; Clare's memories would always find him and there was no way to escape the fact that his time with her was ticking away.

The axiom that she could be dead in less than forty-eight made him nauseous and it was then that he realized that he would not be able get through the rest of the day without feeling sick. Whether it was his road leading to malnutrition or his fear, he could not stay away from Clare another minute. Needing to see her, he climbed out of the back of Morty and into the driver's seat. He did not care that he would be missing class or if he got detention because of this; he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Clare and he was willing to give up anything to be with for as long as he could.

He took his usual stop by the florist, purchased a tulip, and then drove to the all too familiar scene of the hospital; within a matter of minutes, Eli was entering the room which was empty except for Clare's body one the bed. Assuming that everyone was at work (or, in Melissa's case, university), he sat next to her, not wanting to admit that this could be her last day on Earth. Taking her hand as he usually did, he began to speak to her.

"Miss me?" he said, trying not to sound afraid or disheartened for her sake.

He did not breathe while Clare lied there as she was being fed oxygen.

"Adam wanted me to tell you that he's sorry he doesn't come here much; I think it's a bit too much for him to see this. I mean, it's tough for all of us, but . . . I think he's really, _really _scared," he said, remembering what his best friend told him that morning.

It made him mad that no one was coming here to see Clare other than him, Alli, Adam, and her family. Not one person outside of that group of people came by to visit her; not her friends from her grade, the Dot, the Drama Club, not even people from the Jesus Club came by to see her. He wanted to tell her this, but he did not want any aura of hostility around her, thinking that it would not help her situation.

"I got your corsage today," he informed her, moving on to a lighter subject. "The planning committee was selling them during school and I thought that I should go ahead and get yours; I'm still counting on you to be my prom date. I remember you saying your dress was blue, so I got the only blue one they had left; I hope you like it."

Then the horrible image came to his mind of going to prom, but not having Clare by his side; he saw himself there, alone and heartbroken. He would be the one sitting all alone at the table while couples surrounded him, dancing to slow songs while hanging on to each other. He rolled his lips, trying not to shake or lose control like he did in the Lakehurst cafeteria or in the back of Morty.

"If you're not at prom, I'm not going to be there either," he concluded. "Being there without you will be too hard." He took a breath and continued. "But it would be great if we did go together; I know I'm not really the person who goes to dances and stuff, but I wouldn't miss it if you went with me."

Having more on his mind to let Clare know, he inhaled and prepared to speak to her, hoping that a part of her was hearing his voice and taking in his words.

"I want to hold you in my arms again, kiss your lips, tell you that I love you and see you smile when I say it like you always do. You have no idea how much I miss that; I'm missing all the little things you used to do that make my days better."

Taking a breath to stabilize his mind, he blinked a few tears out of his eyes before he began to speak again.

"I had _no_ idea how precious those things were to me and until now, and I wish I realized it before you ended up here."

A few tears rolled down his face like they have done for so many days now, but he gave up on stopping them.

"I've definitely taken you for granted," he told her. "I mean, you were there every day with unconditional love and everything and . . . now you're not there to kiss me, talk to me, and all of that amazing stuff. I've started to miss that and now I realize that I should cherish, literally, every moment instead of just accepting that it's simply a part of life. I promise that if you – _when_ you wake up, I'll start appreciating everything about you more and more."

Not trying to stop tears anymore, they leaked out of his eyes.

"Please wake up before tomorrow, okay?" he pleaded. "If you don't . . . your parents will . . . and I can't stop them . . . please. I'll never ask anything else of you if you please just do this one thing. Come back, Clare. Please come back."

()()

Eli came back home once he was off work. He was just about tired of going to the Dot and hearing people ask questions about how Clare was doing; if they really cared that much about her condition, they would not be using him as a homing pigeon that would bring them news. Instead, they would actually go to the hospital and show their care for her there like all her real friends have been doing. Unfortunately, that was not the case and it killed him that only a maximum of nine people came by to see someone so wonderful while she was resting on her potential deathbed.

Eli came into the house, wanting to go to his room and leave the world behind when his path was blocked.

"Hey," CeCe greeted, coming towards him as he closed the door. "How's she doing?"

"Same," Eli answered. It was then he noticed an envelope in her hand. "What's that?"

"See for yourself," CeCe said, passing him the envelope.

Not having any clue as to what this could be about, Eli took the envelope and looked at it; he noticed the return address was from the University of Ottawa.

"I think it's about that scholarship you submitted last week," CeCe said.

Eli had completely forgotten about that he had even sent a scholarship application for Ottawa; it had been the last thing on his mind ever since the night of the fire. All he thought about was Clare every second of the day and he did not want to take the time to think about university right now while she could not think at all.

It dawned on him that he never told Clare about this; she had been so wrapped up in her drama with Alyson, school, and the play that he could not find the right time to tell her. Then again, she was the one who kept supporting him ever since he told her that he had been wanting to go since he was thirteen and she never lost faith in him. She would've been happy for him and she would have put all her issues to the side for a moment to cheer him on and tell him that she hoped he would get the scholarship. Now, however, she may never know about it. Clare was the one who encouraged him to go despite the long-distance relationship they would have, and that led him to apply for a full scholarship and the fact that he did not share it with her made him think even less of himself.

Hands shaking and tears coming as he thought about this, he opened the envelope and pulled a piece a paper out of it. His eyes skimmed over the page and CeCe stood there, anxious to hear if her son received the scholarship. After taking a couple of seconds of reading over the page, Eli looked away from the sheet to tell his mother the verdict.

"I got it," Eli said blankly, folding the letter up and putting it back in its envelope.

"That's great, baby boy," CeCe said with a small smile.

Eli knew that she was happy for him and proud, but she also understood that he was probably not in the mood to be celebrating this moment . . . not while the love of his life was alone in a hospital room where she would die in the next twenty-four hours if she did not wake.

Not really caring about the scholarship but more about the fact that Clare would no longer be here this time tomorrow, Eli moved up the stairs and into his room and began crying himself to sleep for the fourth night in a row.

* * *

"_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you"_

_~"When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne_

* * *

Pic of Eli's ring is on my Twitter!

I know I've made this recommendation already, but read and review the story "Losing Someone You Love" by BeautifulEyes20122013. This writer deserves feedback on this amazing fic, so please go check the story out! I'm going to keep begging you guys to do it until the story gets at least 85 reviews, so GO READ! And please spread the word about it! Please and thank you!

Review please!


	84. Eyes on You

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

OH MY GOSH! OVER 900 REVIEWS! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Thank you for reviewing again everyone! YOU'RE ALL AMAZING! Some of your reviews literally brought me to tears because they were so kind and thoughtful! And thank you to all those people who went to read "Losing Someone You Love" by BeautifulEyes20122013! If you haven't read/reviewed, that story yet, go read it! Here we go! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: The day I no longer I ship EClare is the day I own Degrassi (I will never own Degrassi).

* * *

Chapter Eighty-Four

Eyes on You

Eli barely got through these last few days at Lakehurst without thinking about Clare. All he thought about was her; he hated it when the time went by and he was not by her side. On this day, however, every second killed him. It was Wednesday and, that evening, Clare was going to be taken off the ventilator and then she would leave them all behind. In a few short hours, he would be forced to say goodbye to her . . . and she wasn't going to be able to hear it. She wasn't going to hear him say "I love you" to her ever again and it broke his heart. He recalled how she told him "I love you" before she slipped into her coma; those could be her last words and he didn't even say them back to her when she could've heard this. This was another point added to his list of reasons to feel guilt.

He did not go to go to school on this day, but a couple of Clare's relatives and friends were coming to see her in the hospital today and he knew it was not his place because most of them were strangers to him. The Bhandari and Torres families went to see her along with CeCe and Bullfrog, plus members of Clare's church were coming by to say their farewells and pay their respects to the Edwards. Eli wanted to be there at the end, so he was going to come to the hospital that night and say goodbye then after all unfamiliar faces had left.

Eli spent the whole day at his and Clare's special place, reliving all the memories. He was amazed at how many moments from this place he had saved in his mind; there was the picnic they had when they first found it, Adam's party, the special date he set up for them a couple of weeks ago, and all the days they came to do homework or just spend time together. He recalled that this was where they both confessed that they wanted to be with each other forever when Kate first came to Degrassi; if he knew that he was going to lose Clare within seven months, he would have told her sooner so she could have had more time to nourish the feeling of being in love with someone.

He was unsure how many tears he shed a the abandoned church, but even more came when he traveled to the clearing that he took her to when he first asked her to marry him. He saw the tree that he carved their names into and he could no longer keep any pain inside. He gently put his fingertips to his lips and then put them against Clare's name.

All the plans they made were fading before his eyes, for there would be no more "our plans", it would just be "my plans". He recalled how they agreed at the beginning of April that they planned to have a long-distance relationship when he learned that he was accepted into Ottawa (once again, he wished he told her about the scholarship he sent in), but now there would be no long conversations over the phone until midnight, Skype chats, or visits that they would treasure. Their plans to get married and be together forever were falling down and he could not pick them up without Clare by his side . . . but she would not be there.

He stayed at the clearing until four thirty, which was when he knew that all of the visitors would be gone. He would not have to worry about work because Peter was aware of Clare's situation and told him to take time off he needed it. Eli agreed to take this day off, but he listened to a small voice inside his head that was telling him to not accept all the extra time off until he knew for sure that he would lose Clare on this night.

Eli climbed into Morty and got back on to the main road, but he did not drive towards the hospital. He went by the florist to get the final tulip he would put in the vase in Clare's room, and, instead of going straight to the hospital afterwards, he went down a different road.

()()

With Julia, there was absolutely nothing he could do; Clare, however, had a chance. She could recover from this and not die, and he would do anything to prevent her from greeting death. Medically, there was nothing to be done, but he had brought her the tulips, talked to her, reminisced with her at her bedside, and played their song. He did not know what else he could do, but he had one crazy idea that he told himself that he would only use as a last resort. Now, he saw, was the time to put it into action . . .

Eli sat in one of the pews in the back before looking at the big, wooden cross at the front of the church. He took a breath before folding his hands and bowing his head, hoping that he did not wait too late to do this.

"Um . . .," he began to speak to the higher power he unsure was hearing him. "God . . . whoever You are . . . if You're there at all . . . please hear me . . ."

Eli took a shuddering breath and tried to find his voice again; he was not sure how this praying thing worked, so he let his words fly blind around him.

"Let Clare wake up," he begged. "Save her. She does not deserve to die; she has a life that she deserves to live and it is not fair to take it away from her because of me. Yes, I admit that it is my fault that Clare is where she is right now, but please don't punish her for my mistakes; do something to me, _anything_, but please don't let her pay the price for it."

Tears pricked his eyes and snuck through his concealed eyelids. The more he spoke, the more his breath began to hitch; to calm himself down, he inhaled and exhaled.

"I-I've never been so scared and I've never loved someone so much. I don't know what my life would become if Clare left it and . . . I know a few people whose hearts would break if she died, so don't take her away from them as well. P-Please don't let her die; I'll do anything. If there's anything else I can do to help her, tell me. Even if it's just for one more day so I can tell her that I love her and so she could hear me; let me see her eyes and hear her voice for myself one more time. I want her to be okay and live for as long as she can, but if she can be awake for twenty-four more hours to see her family and friends one last time, please give it to her please . . .," he added in a whisper. "Um . . . amen."

Eli did not know how affective his prayer was, but he hoped it was enough for whoever was out there if there was anyone out there at all.

"I thought you didn't believe in God," a voice then stated. Eli looked over his shoulder and saw Mrs. Edwards entering the room and stepping towards the pew he was sitting in right now. Eli did a small shrug and turned back to the front of the church, looking at the cross.

"I've done everything else I can think of to get Clare back, but nothing worked. I figured that she believes in this stuff, so I should do for her what she would do for me if I was the one in the hospital."

"I see," Helen nodded in understanding as she sat next to him. "Have you seen her at all today?"

"Not yet. I was on my way to there and I came here. You?"

"I've been with her all day. Randall, Alyson, and Melissa are there now."

"Is Darcy coming back home because of everything that's happened?" Eli inquired of her.

"She's trying, but there aren't any flights leaving there from Toronto and she doesn't have enough money to take multiple flights. But we're going to be sure that she's here for the . . . the funeral."

The world funeral made Eli's eyes accumulate more tears; he did not want to see Clare buried beneath the dirt before her time and witness her name written on a stone at the head of her coffin. He could not believe that Kate lit the match that burned his, Helen's, and Randall's world down; then again, he still believed that he was the one who gave her one to strike.

"I'm sorry about everything," he said softly to Clare's mother.

Helen didn't respond. She did not blame Eli, but he blamed himself since he caused Kate to do this; Mrs. Edwards didn't see it that way, therefore she just took a breath and tried not to cry.

"How much longer until . . .?" he tried to ask, but he couldn't continue.

"An hour or so," she informed him.

The clock was ticking . . . by six o'clock, Clare would no longer be on the world.

()()

Minutes later, Eli and Helen were in the all too familiar hospital, moving down the hall and entering the appropriate room. Many times Eli came here, but the needles in her veins and the tube in her throat never really stood out to him until now; they did not even affect him this much when he first saw her in this place. He could not believe that if it was not for these devices, she would be nothing but a corpse.

"I'll give you some time," Helen said, stepping out of the room.

This was the last time he would be alone with Clare and he knew it. Tears came to his eyes, not wanting this to be the end, but just the beginning. He put the final tulip in her vase before sitting next to her; he held her hand tighter than ever, his hand giving warmth to her colder one. He did not want to believe that this could be the last time his skin would come in contact with hers. The few remains of his heart broke and dissolved into dust and, eventually, those pieces of dust flew away. His heart gone, tears took over his eyes and they came pouring out more than they ever had before in his life. Not being able to retain himself, he buried his head in the crook of her neck as he smoothed his hand over the top of her head.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed to her. "I-I'm so sorry." He sniffled a bit and put a kiss on her neck before speaking again. "You don't deserve this so soon and I'm sorry I let it happen to you."

He gasped for air before speaking again.

"I'll always love you. I promised you I would and I'll never stop. You've never . . . you've never g-given me a reason to stop loving you and that's not going to stop just because you're not here anymore."

Saying these words was poison, but he had no choice but to say them. If these were to be his final words to Clare, he didn't want to avoid words or phrases; he wanted her to know every ounce of the truth. He stabilized his thoughts and spoke in her ear.

"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Clare. I'll never forget you; I'll think about you every day until the day I die and you will always be my true love. I promise. Y-You'll always be a part of me and I'll always remember everything we had and what we will always have."

While Eli's lips delivered these words to her, he remained unaware that Randall was standing outside in the hall, hearing all of his words.

"Wake up," Eli whispered to Clare, making the final attempt for her to hear his urgent requests. "Wake up. Don't go. P-Please don't go. Don't leave me. I'll do anything. Please come back."

He knew his pleas were useless, but he could not take it. He was beyond the meaning of distraught and he would actually die right there on this spot if it meant she would not.

Randall was still standing there, hanging on to every word that Eli was saying; never in his whole life had he seen someone hurt so much and confess so much love for one person. Wheels were turning in his head. Was this right? Should they take Clare off the ventilator? Did she still have a chance? Sure, there has not been any improvement and the chances of her survival were miniscule, but what if she just needed a little bit more time?

He heard footsteps coming down the hall and he turned his head to see Helen approaching him, her eyes red. Wanting to give Eli and Clare the privacy they deserved, Randall met Helen halfway down the hall and they both faced each other.

"We need to talk," Randall told her directly.

"We do," she agreed.

"You go first," he allowed.

"Randall, on my over here I stopped by the church and . . . I saw Eli in there. He was praying for Clare."

"Praying?" Randall repeated, clearly surprised, aware of Eli's religious views.

She nodded; she explained what she saw and heard to her ex-husband before getting to a point she had just decided to make.

"I've been thinking ever since I saw him there and . . . if he does love Clare that much . . . maybe we should keep her alive for a couple more days; give her one last chance to get better."

Randall's heart lifted; he did not want to let his little girl go and, after hearing Eli's goodbyes, he saw that it would be cruel and inhuman to do that to Clare and this person who seems to love her more than anything. He was going to say this to Helen in hopes that it would convince her to keep Clare on the machines a little bit longer. But, as Helen made her proposal, he was relieved that they were thinking along the same lines.

"I think we should do that," he agreed.

"Really?" Helen asked, appeased that this would not lead to an argument.

Randall nodded.

"I heard Eli talking to Clare just now. Helen, he loves her and I don't think we should take her away from him right now."

"I know," she complied. "But . . . how much longer should we give her?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "We don't want to get anyone's hope back up for too long, but we want to give her a bit more time."

Helen rolled her lips, seeing both sides.

"How about Friday night?" she suggested. "By then, it would be a week and the doctors have told me that if she has not improved by that point, she probably won't."

Giving himself a minute or two to consider, Randall accepted.

"Alright," he said, wanting that day to come as slow as possible. "Now we just have to hope that she's alright before that."

"Only time will tell. We should probably go tell Eli."

Without saying another word, the duo walked back into the room, prepared to reveal their decision to the teenage boy.

()()

When they told him, he was so relieved that his head began to spin. This was the most amazing thing he had heard in days and he felt the pieces of his heart melt back together. This meant he would be able to bring Clare a flower at least two more times, play their song for her, and, most of all, she would have more time to get better.

Eli texted Adam and Alli that night to tell them the news; they each called him and asked for more information and he told them. He could hear the joy in Adam's voice that his best female friend had not passed while Alli cried and grinned in hope at the same time.

Eli and Adam met at Lakehurst the next morning, prepared to face the day. Were they happy? Absolutely not. All positivity they felt from the night before had morphed back into fear and that replaced the remaining grief and sadness they felt at this time yesterday; it was as though they were back at square one. Eli was appreciative that Mr. and Mrs. Edwards were giving Clare a final chance, but he was once again face-to-face with the worry that she would not recover. If that was the case, tomorrow night will be the time when he would definitely be forced to say farewell to Clare forever.

Adam tried to brighten Eli's spirits and assure him that she would be fine, but it was no use. Eli's hope that Clare would ever open her eyes again was falling faster and faster and he knew it was only a matter of time until Clare Edwards would never walk this earth again.

Their seventh period Physics class came around and Eli was sitting in the back of a forgotten Lakehurst classroom with Adam. He was not working despite the fact that he had skipped this class for two days in a row now, but he was not in the mood to care. His mind wandered away from the world around him and began thinking about Clare for the hundredth time that hour. He kept looking the clock on the wall, wanting time to speed up so he could go visit Clare before he had to start his shift at the Dot. He was sitting in his desk, trying to develop new ways to get Clare conscious again, when a firm yet gentle female voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Eli Goldsworthy, please report to the front desk," she announced over the intercom.

Confused as to why he would possibly need to go there, Eli got out of his desk, gathered his belongings, and made his way through the school. He went down a hall, made a turn, went down the stairs, and went down another hall until he was able to see his parents standing by the front desk. Even from a distance he saw CeCe's red eyes and the tears on her face; his stomach dropped, sensing that he was about to receive some bad news. He moved down the hall as quickly as possible, hoping that everything was alright and that nothing had happened to Clare. Within seconds, he was standing in front of them.

"What's going on?" he asked, not having the time or patience for greetings.

"You have to get to the hospital," CeCe said immediately. It was then that Eli saw the tears and a grin on her face.

"Guys, is she . . .?" he asked, the first smile coming to his face in days.

"Clare's awake."

* * *

"_I want you to know_

_That I'm gonna to miss you_

_Hold on to my heart_

_We'll make it through_

_And I'll let it be known _

_That all I want is you"_

_~"Eyes on You" by Automatic Loveletter_

* * *

Not going to update again until the one year anniversary! See you guys Saturday! Review please!


	85. Back to Life

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

LET'S GET MUSHY! This fic has been up on FFN for a year and I have the best readers/reviewers on the planet! Seriously, when I first started this story, I never imagined that it would get this much support! You guys are amazing and I'm **_SO_** blessed to have such lovely people who send feedback, love, and support. I must thank all of you, for I always hoped to get 926 reviews on a story, but now it's a reality because of you guys! I love you all and I'll always be here for you to talk, vent, or ramble about Degrassi! Saying you guys are AMAZING is the understatement of the 21st century, so I'm just going to give you guys this chapter and I have a feeling that you will like it. This chapter is for you loyal readers, whether you've been here from the beginning or just jumped on, this is dedicated to all! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Geez, how many times must I say it?

* * *

Chapter Eighty-Five

Back to Life

"Is she okay? Is she okay?" Eli asked Helen hurriedly when he saw her standing outside Clare's door twenty minutes later. He fled from Lakehurst the second his parents told him the news and he got to the hospital as quickly as possible. He got there and was now asking for his hopes to be confirmed by Clare's mother. He noticed her tearful smile as she stood there.

"The doctors are looking over everything, but she's conscious and breathing on her own."

For the first time in nearly a week, Eli was able to breathe freely, for Clare was alive and no longer had to live with the assistance the ventilator gave her. Hoping that he was not imagining this moment, he smiled and waited there with Helen.

"Does Mr. Edwards know?"

"He's in a meeting at work, but he said he'll get out as quickly as he can," she said, her smile continuing to be plastered to her face.

Eli smiled as well, still trying to grasp the undeniable truth that Clare was awake and that it was not just a dream or his mind playing with him. He was soon going to be able to speak to her, hold her, kiss her, and, if nothing was to change, he would be able to marry her in a bit more than six years like they had planned.

Was this the act of this God Clare devoted her religion to? Was it because of his prayer to said figure? Was it fate? Or was it all coincidence? He did not know and he was unsure if he ever would, but right now he was just beyond thankful that the love of his life could breathe again and it did not matter to him how it happened.

Doctor Harnage then came out of the room, pulling Eli out of his muse. He noticed how the doctor was wearing a grin was on his face and it reassured Eli and Helen that Clare's health had not taken a turn for the worse.

"How is she?" Mrs. Edwards asked, wanting to hear the news she had been praying to hear for a week.

"She's breathing fine and everything looks normal, but we are running tests to be sure. We'll be keeping her here until everything comes back and we want to track her progress."

"But she's going to be okay?" Helen clarified, wanting to know the prognosis.

"If there's nothing else going on, she should make a full recovery in a couple of weeks."

Sighing in relief, Eli smiled wider than ever.

"She may be coughing every now and then and she may not be able to talk very well at times, but that's what we expected; I'll prescribe her some medicine to help with that and she'll be fine. The burn on her arm will take some time to heal, but it's nothing serious. All she needs is a few days to get her strength back and she'll be back to herself in no time."

Eli and Helen's grins had not fallen, so this news just sparked more joy within them.

"Can we see her?" Eli asked.

"She's probably asleep, but you can if you wish."

"Thank you," Helen smiled.

Seconds later, the two of them were in her room, seeing her sleeping peacefully for the first time since her brush with death. Eli was pleased to see her sleeping tranquilly instead of lying unconsciously with a tube down her throat. This was the first time in a while when he was not scared or heartbroken; instead, he was relieved and elated. He and Helen moved closer to her, both overwhelmed by the sight of Clare.

"Hey, sweetie," Helen said softly as they stood by the side of her bed. She gentle stroked Clare's hair as Eli took her hand, feeling the promise ring against his palm; they were careful to not wake her up, for they knew she needed her rest.

They stood there quietly, watching over the sleeping girl in front of them. They were quiet and allowed the glow in their eyes and the silence speak for them; it was unreal that Clare was going to live, considering the chance she had, but they would not trade it for anything in the world.

Eli wanted to stay by Clare's side and be there when she opened her eyes again, but he had to leave for work at five fifteen. He wanted to call Peter and tell him why he couldn't come in, but it was too late to find someone to cover for him, so he had no choice but to go. Unfortunately, this meant he probably would not see Clare until tomorrow. He explained this to Helen, who understood.

"I'll tell her that you wanted to be here."

"If it's not too much trouble, can you also tell her that I'll come see her as soon as I can?" he asked.

"Sure," she agreed.

"And . . . could you tell her that I love her?"

Saying those words to Helen usually would've been a bit awkward but, right now, he was too happy to worry about it.

"Of course," Helen acceded, a small smile on her face. She was actually pleased that someone loved her daughter this much and she knew it was because of that love that Clare was going to live a long, happy life; if she had to be honest, she would be pleased for as long as she lived if Clare married the person who saved her life and she would be honored to have Eli as her son-in-law someday.

"Thank you," he grinned at her. Not wanting to disturb Clare as she rested, he gently released her hand; he kept his eyes on her until he left the room, confident that she would still there when he got back.

()()

After stopping by the florist to buy another tulip, Eli made his way back to the hospital immediately; Peter let him off two hours early, for he knew how much Eli wanted to be with Clare so he could speak to her again. He went straight down the hall Clare's room was in, recognizing many of the doctors, residences, and their families since he'd come here some many times over the past few days. He saw Helen emerging from Clare's room, happy tears still in her eyes as they were hours before.

"I thought you were at work," she recalled, seeing him come her way.

"I got off early," he explained. "Is she alright?"

She turned to him, smiled, and then nodded.

"Everything seems fine right now; she's a bit tired and she can't speak very well yet, but she's all there."

Eli sighed in relief.

"Did they say when she could go home?"

"If everything remains normal, they'll release her Saturday morning. Now we're just waiting for the test results and everything to come back."

"That's good," he stated, pleased that she would be home again soon.

"Randall just left, but he wanted me to tell you thank you again for saving Clare . . . and for convincing us to not take her off the ventilator a few days ago. If you didn't tell us . . ." She trialed off as tears came to her eyes. She nearly let her daughter leave this world and that would've cheated her of the great life she had ahead of her. However, the boy in front of her not only saved Clare's life by running into an inflamed building, but he also had the courage to step up and ask her for more time. And, if he did not go to that church yesterday, she and Randall probably never would've considered keeping her on the equipment for a couple more days. It was, clearly, the right thing to do, because Clare was now awake and would soon be back to her usual self. Helen was beyond grateful that Eli was a part of Clare's life and she owed so much to him now. Getting caught up in her emotions, she pulled Eli into a hug.

"Thank you," she sobbed.

Eli didn't know what to say, so he just hugged his future mother-in-law back. They stood there and held to each other for a minute or so until Helen realized what she was doing; hoping she did not make Eli feel uncomfortable, she leaned away.

"I'm sorry," she said, wiping her eyes.

"No need," Eli said, feeling empathy; he understood how at peace she was now that she was certain that her daughter would be fine, for he felt the exact same way.

"You might want to get in there; she's been asking for you and she wants to know if you're okay."

Not being able to hold back the feeling that those words gave him, he smiled again as more tears from his heart made a beeline for his eyes. Helen gave him one final grin before stepping down the hall, understanding how this important this time was going to be for both Eli _and_ Clare.

"I'll see you soon," she said to him.

"Bye," he replied as she walked away.

As Helen traveled out of sight, Eli put his hand on the door handle, pushed it downward and opened the door; he prepared himself to see Clare completely conscious for the first time in what felt like years. He then saw her leaning against the pillows on her bed; she was still hooked up to an IV and the clip remained her finger to track her heart rate, her skin was pale, and her right arm was covered in a fresh bandage because of the burn she had received, but other than that she seemed fine. She must have heard the door open because she turned her head towards the sound; she saw Eli closing the door and she tiredly turned her lips into a tiny smile at the sight of him.

"Hey, hot stuff," she croaked, her tired eyes glistening.

"Thank God you're okay," he said, rushing to her side and capturing her in his arms. The tears finally arrived at his eyes, but he was trying not to cry in relief alleviation.

"I'm fine," she choked, hugging him back with the little strength she had with her left arm since her right arm was immobile due to the bandage and IV in her hand. Hearing her voice and feeling her arm around him sent a tear down his face.

"I-I thought . . . I thought . . ."

"It's alright," she soothed him. "I'm right here; I'm not going anywhere."

He sniffled in response while he cherished the feeling of her in his arms . . . a feeling he had taken for granted.

"I love you," he said, appeased that he could say these words to her again and that she could actually hear them.

"I love you too," she replied.

Happy and pacified tears cascaded down his face as she said those four words that meant the world to him. For once it was him shedding all the tears; usually, it would be just Clare if not both of them, but today it was only Eli. They rolled over his cheeks and onto Clare's shoulder as he held her. His breathing began to hitch while he sobbed and he was glad she was allowing him to cry right now.

"C-Clare," he attempted to apologize for his tears, but he was interrupted by the stinging of the drops in his eyes.

"It's okay, baby," she consoled him, raking her fingers through the ends of his dark brown hair. "It's okay."

He took a shuddering breath before leaning out to look at her, but he kept his arms around her. He saw that her small smile was still on her face while her magnificent eyes glistened. She unraveled her arm from him and cleared the trails the tears left behind on his skin.

"Everything's okay."

He nodded before taking a breath and putting a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too," she replied. It was true; although she had been asleep for a long time, she did wish that all that time could've been spent by talking to Eli. "Is that for me?" she guessed, nodding towards the tulip in his hand.

"Oh, yeah," he answered, just now remembering it. He put her sixth tulip in the vase with the others.

"Thanks for the flowers," she told him. "And for coming to see me every day."

"Your parents told you I came?" he asked as he stood next to her bed.

She nodded before she thought of another action she had to thank him for.

"And . . . I don't remember too much about what happened that night, but after Kate did what she did . . . I remember you coming in and getting me out of there."

He saw the tears of appreciation build up in her eyes as she continued to look at him.

"You could've died."

"If I didn't go in after you, you would've."

She shook her head, unable to wrap around her head around the idea that someone actually put his life on the line to rescue her.

"That was crazy, dangerous, stupid . . . and really brave."

Eli felt his cheeks turn a bit red; this was the first time in his memory that Clare had called him brave and he could not help but feel a bit flattered by her words.

"You saved my life," she said in retrospect to that night.

"It was either that or lose you; not exactly a hard choice to make," he explained, sitting on the edge of the hard mattress and putting his right arm around her shoulders. Their eyes met and they exchange smiles.

"Thank you."

"Don't worry about it," he said, too distracted by the reality that Clare was alive to get praised for what he did.

She rolled her eyes, wishing would give himself more credit as to what he did for her.

"Only you would act like it's nothing."

"I'm just happy you're back," he said to her.

She gave him a small grin and he returned it, seeing just how many of his wishes were coming true now that they could share grins again.

"Need anything?" he asked caringly.

She nodded her head.

"One thing," she said.

"What's that?"

"A kiss from my future husband," she answered with a weak grin.

Eli felt the corners of his mouth twitch before scooting closer to her on the bed and leaning in towards her. He then put his lips to hers and they both felt a feeling he had not experienced in so long; it was soft yet powerful and simply nothing less than perfect. Eli was so worried that he was never going to share an instant like this with Clare again, but he was right now and he was beyond thankful for it. The kiss ended as these thoughts entered his mind and he felt tears attack his eyes again. He sat up, his arm still secured around her as he tried to clear his eyes of the presence of all tears by blinking consistently while looking down at the blanket covering Clare's lower body.

"What's the matter?" she asked, who ended up seeing his watery eyes anyway.

Eli turned back to Clare, his eyes still full of tears.

"I really thought I was going to lose you," he admitted as he stroked the ends of her hair.

Clare grinned softly and shook her head.

"I wasn't going to leave you here to say 'I do' to someone else," she told him.

Eli gave her a sad grin.

"I don't think I would want to."

"You never know," she shrugged.

"Trust me, I know."

Hearing those words brought a few tears to Clare's eyes, her heart swelling at the fact that Eli loved her that much. She put her arm around his torso and buried her face in his shoulder.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too," he told her.

Eli carefully wrapped both of his arms around her and carefully rocked her in his arms as they sat on the mattress. They lost track of time in their embrace, never wanting to let go.

"Need anything else?" he asked.

"No, just hold me," she said quietly.

Since he had been waiting to hold her in his arms for many days, he did not argue or protest; he kept these two limbs around her delicate body, giving her warmth. They sat there in silence for many minutes, determined to take in every second of this moment, for it felt like it had been a year instead of six days since they did this. She unattached herself from him and took a breath before she prepared to speak.

"Eli . . ." She felt her lungs began to tickle unpleasantly and she started coughing violently. Worried, Eli got off the bed poured her some water from the pitcher and a cup on her side table; he gave it to her, seeing that she needed something to help her throat. She took it gratefully and drained it until it was all gone.

"Are you okay?" he asked, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah," she choked, her cough now going away.

"Are you sure?" he ensured.

She nodded as Eli put the cup on the table before he sat back down next to her. He softly wrapped his arm around her shoulder once again.

"Eli," she attempted for the second time.

"Shhh," he told her, hearing that her voice was still beginning to fail again. "Save your voice; it can wait."

She shook her head.

"Kiss me again. Please."

He could not refuse even if he wanted to. Seconds later, they were exchanging a sweet, gentle kiss that they started to become lost in time. They cherished this act, hoping that these were unlimited once again. They soon separated their lips and Clare rested her forehead against Eli's. They both grinned at each other and gazed into each other's eyes.

"You look exhausted," he pointed out, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm fine."

"Sweetheart, you need to gain your strength back somehow. Get some sleep."

"I was asleep for six days," she refused. "I want to spend time with you and actually _be_ _here_ to see it."

"And I promise you that we will do that, but you have to get better first."

She sighed, aware that she would feel better if she did get some rest.

"Alright," Clare surrendered. "But can you do me a favor?"

"Name it."

"Stay with me?"

"You got it," he nodded with a smile.

He got off the bed and helped her get as comfortable as possible on the firm mattress; he took his familiar seat next to her bed and held her hand, his smile never fading.

"I'll be here when you wake up."

She gave him a small smile of gratitude, which he returned, before she closed her eyes.

"Sweet dreams," he whispered while she drifted off to sleep.

()()

Clare had been asleep for an hour and a half at this point; Eli was already starting to miss her eyes, but she needed rest and he was fine for he knew that he would, in fact, see her eyes fairly soon and not have to worry about never meeting them again. He grinned at her the whole time in company with the occasional tear; his world was broken, but now it was fully restored because this special girl woke up. It was amazing and Eli felt at peace for the first time in so long.

At eight thirty, he heard the door to the room open behind him; he looked over his shoulder and expected to see a doctor or nurse, but, instead, he saw the face of Adam.

"Hey," Eli said softly.

"Hey," Adam replied in a whisper. "I got your text. How's she doing?"

Eli smiled.

"She's definitely the same Clare we know and love."

"That's great. I would've gotten here sooner, but Mom needed me and Dad to move some stuff out of the attic," he explained.

"Well, at least we're all here now. I can't wait to see her face when she sees you."

Adam nodded in agreement, anxious to speak to Clare again. Not wanting to interrupt her slumber, they boys remained still and mute. Ten minutes later, however, she began to stir and attempted to bring herself out of sleep mode.

"Eli," she breathed.

"I'm right here," he said to her, holding her hand a bit tighter.

She lifted her heavy eyelids as Eli held her hand, giving him a small grin when she saw his face.

"And you have a new visitor."

"Who?" she asked.

"Me," Adam said, getting into Clare's view.

"Adam!" she exclaimed hoarsely.

Before another word could be said, Eli released her hand and stepped away so Adam could get to Clare's bed to give her a powerful hug.

"Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again," he said tearfully. "I'm so glad you're okay."

He kept hugging her as Eli watched, grinning that Adam could hug his other best friend again.

"I love you, sister-like person," he heard Adam tell her.

"I love you too, bro."

After a couple more seconds, Adam released her and stood next to Eli.

"So, tell me, what have I missed?" she said to the two boys, wanting to know what had been going on since she had been in a coma.

"Other than us being worried to death about you? Not much," Adam answered. "And Eli has gained a celebrity status among the Degrassi _and _Lakehurst student body."

"He's exaggerating," Eli intervened.

"No, you've were just too out of it all week to notice. You see, he's now known as a superhero because he ran into a burning building to save you and that was all over the news for the past week."

"Wow," Clare said, seeing Eli's face turn slightly red. "Now don't forget to remember us when you're off defending the world from super villains," she joked as Eli rolled his eyes with a simper.

"Are you still feeling alright?" he asked, wanting to get the attention off him.

She nodded.

"I just want to get out of here ASAP."

"Don't worry, you'll be out of here by Saturday," Eli reassured her.

"Yeah," Adam said. "You'll be spreading that Saint Clare sunshine in no time."

"Saint Clare sunshine?" Eli and Clare echoed in unison, not being able to restrain their laughs at what Adam just said.

"It's the best I got," he defended himself with a shrug.

Clare chuckled, glad that she was spending time with these two again; they always had their ways of making her laugh. Unfortunately, after another fifteen minutes of laughter, their fun came to an end.

"Visitors' hours are over, you two," a nurse scolded Eli and Adam at nine o'clock.

"Two more minutes?" Clare requested hopefully.

"Alright, but no more than that," she allowed before stepping out of the room.

"I guess that's our cue to go," Eli said regretfully.

Clare let out an agitated sigh, not really wanting to be left alone.

"This sucks."

Eli and Adam could not hold back their grins; this was _definitely_ the Clare they remembered.

"Well, the sooner you sleep, the sooner you'll be able to see people," Adam reminded, trying to brighten Clare's mood.

"Thankfully it's just one more day," she added.

"Exactly," he smiled at her. A second later, he leaned down to give Clare another hug. "I'll see you around, champ."

"Bye, Adam," Clare said as their embrace ended. Adam gave his friends a wave before leaving the room and disappearing completely. Once again, it was only Eli and Clare in the room; he took her hand and held it as they locked eyes, blue against green.

"I wish you could stay."

"Me too," he complied.

"Come back tomorrow?" she breathed.

Eli grinned before kissing her lips again.

"First thing after school, I'll be here," he whispered after concluding the kiss.

"Promise?" she replied, her voice still unintentionally harsh.

"Promise," he pledged. "I'll even come before that if you want me to."

"I'll probably be asleep."

"I'll leave you a note or something if you are. And, since I don't have to work tomorrow, I can stay here with you until hospital security throws me out."

"Sounds good to me," she smiled.

"And, if I can, do you want me to come by at lunch?"

Clare nodded, looking forward to all the times she could be seeing Eli tomorrow.

"You're the best," she grinned.

"I get it from my girlfriend," he stated, smirking at her.

Clare kept grinning at him and blushed slightly.

"One more kiss?" she asked, making the hope in her voice come out as clear as possible.

Wanting to make up for the week of neglected kisses, Eli leaned down to fulfill Clare's wish. It lasted for a few seconds, but it was more than enough to satisfy Eli; he vowed to himself that he would relish every second he spent with Clare, so this one kiss meant the world to him despite the fact that they shared millions of them before.

"I've missed that," he told her as they separated and put their foreheads together.

"Need one more for the road?" she endeavored of him.

Smirking, Eli accepted her offer and molded his lips to hers. Not even two seconds past when they heard someone clear their throat at the door; Eli leaned away and looked over his shoulder to see the nurse who was there before standing there once again.

"It's been two minutes," she notified them.

"Okay," Clare said sadly.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Eli promised her when he looked back into her blue eyes.

She nodded, desperately wanting him to stay. He gave her a final peck on the lips before straightening up and turning towards the door. Before he took a single step, however, he felt someone grab his hand.

"I love you," she said as loud as she could. Her voice was low and a bit husky, but it was clear.

"I love you too," he said, kissing her hand before letting it go and walking towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Can't wait," she said before he gave her a final smile and then vanishing.

* * *

"_Tonight we're alive _

_For the very first time"_

_~ "Back to Life" by Automatic Loveletter_

* * *

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO "IF WE HOLD ON TOGETHER"!

Since it's been a year, I'd like your opinions on a few things: how well has this story developed? Good pace, or too slow, or too fast? How about character emotions? Has my writing style remained constant, gotten better or gotten worse?

Once again, I thank EVERYONE who has supported this story! It means the world to me! I love you all!

New Vlog: Good News For Fans of If We Hold On Together Who Are Hardcore EClare Shippers!

Don't forget to check out "Losing Someone You Love" by BeautifulEyes20122013, "Not What I Intended" by Moxxy, "Yellow" by eclarefanxxx, "What Comes Next" by BlackRabbit550, "A Midterm day's Nightmare" by GrippoMustaine1996 (5 of my favorite fics at the moment)!

Review please!


	86. Inside Your Heaven

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for your amazing reviews! I'm so flattered and I seriously can't thank you guys enough! BTW: if you've contacted me through Twitter recently, I'm not ignoring you! For some reason, it's just acting up. So, in response to a certain reader, yes I saw the promo, but I'm not getting my hopes up yet. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi because I'm too lazy to get off my butt and move to Canada . . . plus my parents won't let me.

* * *

Chapter Eighty-Six

Inside Your Heaven

Clare awoke the next morning and saw the clock on the opposite wall read nine thirty. She instantly felt depressed; she really wanted to see Eli before he left for school, but, being the nice guy he was, he wouldn't have woken her from her slumber. Disgruntled and disappointed, Clare sighed as she continued to lie on the mattress. She turned her head over and she saw a stuffed panda sitting on the chair Eli sat in the night before; she recognized it as the same panda Eli won for her nearly a year ago at a carnival, but she was puzzled as to how it got here when it usually sat under the window in her room. She then took notice at a folded up piece of paper that rested on its legs and Clare assumed that it had to be a note from the person who brought it over. Thankful that it wasn't out of reach, she sat up a bit and stretched for the paper and the bear and pulled them over to her bed; she grinned at the message when she saw that it was in Eli's handwriting before she began to read:

_Your mom and I thought you could use a friend. I would've given this to you in person, but I couldn't wake you up. By the way, you look beautiful when you sleep. I'll see you soon, Blue Eyes._

_All my love,_

_Your Eli_

Clare smiled at his writing before refolding the note and sliding it under her pillow. She attempted to get comfortable on the mattress and began hugging the bear, feeling a bit closer to Eli even though he was not there with her. She then tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't; drawing the conclusion that she will not rest again anytime soon, she reached for the remote on the side of the bed and turned on the TV that was perched in the upper right-hand corner of the room.

Doctors and nurses came by to check on her, bring her some food when she needed it, and, thankfully, unhooked her from her IV. Although she still had the bandage around her forearm and the burn was still aching, she was pleased that this limb was movable again; it definitely made it easier for her to eat her breakfast and hold her bear.

She constantly checked the clock to see what time it was. She was getting impatient and really hoped that Eli would come by during lunch; when he didn't, she assumed that he wouldn't be able to get off Lakehurst campus without getting caught. Understanding why he was probably unable to come see her, she watched more TV since she didn't have anything else to do. However, she was not going to be completely alone while she ate her light lunch.

Her parents came by on their break to come see her; both of them were ecstatic that Clare was getting better and they knew that they had been blessed with a miracle. At first, not much was said; Clare wanted to know what they had been doing the past week other than worry about her, but there was not much story to tell in that department. Finally, Clare asked what was going to happen to Kate; she wanted to find out if she was going to go to jail or face another sort of punishment. Her parents informed her about the upcoming trial and how Eli and Officer Turner were going to speak on Clare's behalf.

"Now, sweetheart, you don't have to go on the stand if you don't want to, but I'm sure it will convince the jury if they heard your side of the story," Helen stated.

Clare wanted Kate out of her life for good; not only did she try to kill her, but she also made her loved ones go through one of the worse weeks of their lives, and she did not want her to get away with that. She would be nervous speaking to a room full of people while she relived one of the most terrifying nights of her life, but it was a mission she was willing to complete if Kate got what she deserved.

"I'll do it," she said, her voice still not one hundred percent due to the damage the smoke caused.

"Are you sure?" her mother asked with concern.

Clare nodded.

"If it gives us a better chance that she'll be locked away forever, I'm in."

"That's my girl," Randall grinned at his daughter and her bravery.

"When is it?"

"Well, we hired an attorney named Martina Piper and she wants to meet you, Eli, and Officer Turner to set up your case on June 5th and again on the 6th, but the actually trial does not begin until the 7th."

"Got it," Clare noted.

"But if there's ever a time you think you won't be able to go through with it, let us know and we'll see if Eli and Officer Turner will still be alright testifying," Helen eased her.

"Okay," she agreed, making the decision that she was not going to back down from this no matter what came her way.

Her parents were not her only visitors during that lunch hour; a couple of detectives from the police station came to the hospital to get her statement as to what happened last Friday night. She told them everything she remembered and hoped that she would have enough courage to be able to tell that exact story to a jury and the other people who would be in the room when she spoke in court.

Except for her parents and police officers, Clare's only company throughout the day was nurses and doctors, who she did not find that interesting, if she had to be honest; the lack of socializing she did that afternoon made the day drag on and it seemed unending. She understood why her friends couldn't be with her, but that just made her feel more lonesome since she could not be at school with them. She spent the rest of the day watching various game shows, the news, and cartoons she had not watched since she was ten; it was not exactly the greatest form of entertainment, but it made time go by at a fair pace. By three, she had become tired of watching television, so she turned it off and laid back, stared at the ceiling, and held her panda while she reminisced the time she spent with Eli last night.

"Surprise!" a voice rang out at three thirty.

Coming out of her daydream, Clare turned her head and saw a smiling someone standing in the doorway.

"_Alli_!" she exclaimed.

Her best friend then raced into her room and gave her a huge hug.

"I'm so glad you're back," Alli said tearfully.

"It's good to be back," Clare said as they ended the hug.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, straightening up and trying not to weep in joy.

"In comparison to when I woke up yesterday?" she asked. "Better."

"That's good. Has anyone come to see you?"

"Mom, Dad, Adam, Eli, and now you," Clare listed.

"I bet Eli was glad to see that you were awake."

Clare nodded and held her bear again.

"So, how have you been?"

"Well . . . scared, angry at Kate, and I have a new respect for that future husband of yours. Seriously, _you_, Clare Edwards, have a very, very, _very_ gutsy man; if _that_ doesn't show true love, I don't know what does," Alli stated, sitting in the chair next to the bed. Clare, who couldn't agree more with Alli's words, nodded in concordance.

"But he doesn't think what he did is a big deal."

"He saved your _life_! How is that _not_ a big deal?"

"I mean, he's glad I'm alright, but . . . I don't know. He's acting like he doesn't want to talk about it."

"Well, he _did_ carry you out of Degrassi and stuff; that might've affected him somehow."

"Yeah," Clare said softly, becoming worried about Eli. All he did the night before was care about her and ask how she was doing, but not once did she ask about him. He went through a lot the past week; surely that would have made an impact on him in some way. Feeling horrible about not focusing on his feelings enough when she last saw him, Clare made a mental note to herself to be more considerate to Eli's emotions when he eventually came by. He wasn't here yet, however, and therefore she turned her attention back to the person who was by her side at this point in time.

"So what's going on with you?"

"Nothing new," Alli answered. "I'm just glad I have my best friend back."

"Come on," Clare chortled. "I wasn't going to miss you and Adam at prom."

"No, because I'm not going to prom unless my best friend is going to prom," Alli said pointblank.

Clare smiled at Alli's sentiment.

"Well, I'm going," she grinned.

"Thankfully," Alli said. "It's going be my first time dating anyone for a while and I'll need all the help I can get."

"Oh, come on, you don't need me to be your wingman . . . or wing woman or whatever."

"I wouldn't be so sure, Miss I'm-Getting-Married-In-Six-Years," she teased with a grin.

Clare chuckled; clearly Alli's interest in her and Eli's relationship had not faltered or decreased over the past week . . . if anything, it just made her more supportive of it.

()()

Eli approached the room, the final tulip in his hand; he was so happy that this was to be Clare's last day in the hospital and that she would finally be able to recover at her own pace. The closer he got to the open door, he could hear two very familiar voices; once he was close enough, he saw Alli sitting by Clare's bedside.

"Hey," Clare smiled, noticing Eli.

"Oh, hi, Eli," Alli greeted, looking over her shoulder to see him standing in the doorway.

"Hi," he replied. "I could come back later if you two –."

"It's fine," Alli said, standing up from the chair. "I have to get to work anyway."

"Already?" her friend asked from her bed.

"Yeah, my hours can suck sometimes," she answered, grinning at her friend.

"Okay," she accepted. "I'll call you when I get out of here."

"Whenever you can," she eased. "I'm just glad you're okay."

Alli leaned down to give Clare a final sentimental hug, thankful that she did not lose her life.

"Talk to you later," Clare said as the hug ended.

"Sounds good," Alli agreed before walking towards the door.

Eli stood to the side and witnessed the two girls exchange their goodbyes until Alli approached him and the exit.

"I'll let you lovebirds have your time alone," she said before stepping passed him. As she began to leave, he noticed the tears in her eyes. He took a couple of steps deeper into Clare's room when Alli quickly sprinted back inside, got in front of Eli, and gave him a hug.

Clare and Eli were equally surprised by Alli's actions, considering the fact that the two of them weren't exactly close. Eli heard a small sob escape her lips, so gave her a pat on the back to provide her with some console.

"God bless you, Eli," she said to him, a few tears falling onto his shoulder. Just like Clare's family, she would forever be grateful for him for saving the life of her best friend. She held onto him for a few more seconds while the couple either sat or stood there, unsure of what to say, think, or do.

Alli soon came around, leaned out of the hug, wiped her eyes, and grinned at Eli before looking back at Clare to give her a smile.

"I'll see you too later," she said to both of them before leaving the room.

"Bye," they both said, watching her depart.

"Has everyone been acting like that around you?" Clare asked him as he moved towards her.

Eli shrugged, put the tulip in the vase with its many twins, and sat on the edge of the mattress before placing his arm around her shoulders.

"Not _everyone_, but a fair few people have. How are you feeling?" he asked, noticing that her voice was still not itself yet.

Clare lost count of how many times people have asked her that today, but she understood that people were just thinking of her health.

"Fine," she assured him. "Better than when I woke up yesterday."

"Are they still letting you go home tomorrow?"

"I think so. All my test results came back normal and the doctors said I should make a full recovery in a week or two, so they have no reason to keep me here. How was school?" she asked.

"I couldn't focus on anything; I kept thinking of you all day."

She grinned and blushed at his words.

"How about you?" he asked her. "How was your first day back in the world?"

"Long," she answered.

"Sorry about that," he said to her. "And I'm sorry I didn't come during lunch."

"It's fine; you're here now. Besides, I had this little guy with me all day," she said, squeezing the bear a bit more. "Thanks," she added, remembering how he was the one who brought it over to her before he left for school.

"No problem," he said, gently rubbing his hand over her upper arm on her right side. "I meant it, you know."

"Meant what?" she asked.

"I do think you're beautiful when you sleep," he said, recalling what he wrote in his short letter to her that morning. He noticed the tint continuing to greet to her formerly pale cheeks.

It was mind-boggling to him that she could go through a fire, be in a coma for nearly a week, and go through a long day such as this and still look absolutely immaculate. It was next to impossible that anyone could come out looking so radiant after such an ordeal, but Clare did. He did not care if others thought differently; in his eyes, his future wife looked perfect no matter what.

"How do you always stay so gorgeous?" he asked, sliding some hair behind her ear.

"Shut up," she said, chortling at his compliment and looking down so he would not see more of the blush that was forming on her skin; Eli's heart melted as he saw the smile on her face.

"I missed your smile."

Clare's face continued to turn a light shade of pink like she always did when Eli gave her compliments. Once she was no longer blushing, she turned to face him and saw his piercing green eyes; she observed how content they were, yet she could also see the concealed darkness behind them. Remembering what she promised herself when Alli was here, she put her right hand on his thigh and caressed it.

"Were you hurt at all after the fire?" she asked.

"No," Eli answered, not really want to speak of that moment in their lives.

"Nothing happened to you?" she rephrased, not believing that he traveled through a blazing school and back without acquiring any injuries.

"Just swallowed a bit of smoke, but I was fine once I got some oxygen. Other than that and worrying about you, I was fine."

Clare, now relieved that Eli's physical health was doing well, noticed how detached his answers were; it was as though his prosperity was not important to him.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah," he answered. "Why?"

"You don't seem like yourself."

He knew that he was not being his usual self because the guilt of what happened to Clare still ate him alive, but he did not want her to know that while she was still in the hospital. Wanting to lead her from what was in his head until she was ready to hear it, Eli shrugged and revealed underlying reasons why he was acting out of sorts.

"I guess I'm still trying to get over everything that's happened; plus I'm still a bit worried about you."

"Why?" she asked. "Doctor Harnage said I'm healthy."

"I know, but you've been in here for a week," he said. "I'll probably feel better when you're discharged."

"Good thing I'll be out of here in a bit more than twelve hours then, huh?" she said, relieved that her boyfriend was on being troubled by something minor . . . at least, that's what she thought.

Eli gave her a small smile as he looked at her eyes, pleased that she would be back in the comfort of her own home and back into a normal routine in no time.

"I haven't kissed you today, have I?" he asked, realizing the truth in that statement.

"Nope," she said, scooting a bit closer to him and wrapping her left arm around his waist and keeping her other hand on his lower thigh.

Not saying another word, Eli leaned down to lightly take Clare's lips into a kiss. They each enjoyed and cherished the feeling of their lips and tongues caressing each other in a soft yet vigorous fashion. Everything was now right, peaceful, and perfect and it was all because of that one kiss. They remained in this position for a few minutes, only moving to get more air, until they decided to separate. Eli gently rested his head against his girlfriend's as he continued to tease his fingers through the ends of her hair.

"Clare?" he said.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Do you know how much you mean to me?"

"Enough to save me from a burning building," she answered.

"Even more than that."

Clare couldn't help but grin a bit at these words.

"I love you so much," she whispered.

"And it's no mystery that I love you too."

Eli then carefully put his lips on Clare's again, kissing them ever so softly. He cherished it like he had been doing even before this incident occurred. They eventually pulled apart and rested their foreheads against each other's once again.

"You're not planning on leaving any time soon, are you?" she asked.

"Not until you get sick of me."

"Well, then you better get comfortable; you won't be going anywhere for a while."

* * *

"_I've been down_

_Now I'm blessed_

_I felt a revelation coming around_

_I guess it's right_

_It's so amazing_

_Every time I see you I'm alive"_

_~"Inside Your Heaven" by Carrie Underwood_

* * *

Sucksville compared to the last chapter in my opinion, but I'm liking the next one A LOT! Like I mentioned in my last Vlog, I'll be updating every time Degrassi comes on with a few exceptions so I can publish the 100th chapter on the day of the season finale! Well, that's all for me! Go check out the works of eclarefanxxx, MadameDegrassi4587, IHeartSprinkles, Moxxy, GrippoMustaine1996, and BlackRabbit550 (I love these writers)! Reviews please!


	87. All Around Me

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you for your amazing reviews everyone! This chapter is dedicated to Moxxy, who gave me the push I needed to keep going. Shout out to MunroChambersPandemonium for the sweet review!

ECLARE FLUFF! Yes, fluff chapter in celebration of the USA premiere! I hope you guys like (or love) it! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: 00000I00000don't00000own0000000000Degrassi

* * *

Chapter Eighty-Seven

All Around Me

Eli knew that Clare was being released from the hospital that morning. He would've gone see her immediately, but he knew she would've wanted to rest and get used to being at home again; he decided that he would wait until at least one o'clock before going over to her house, but it was hard to keep busy until then. He settled on writing some of his story, which he had not worked on in sometime since he had been editing the one Clare showed him a few weeks ago; this distracted him for two hours and he, intentionally, included how the main character of the story put his love interest in danger many times and he was confused as to why she was not angry with him about it. It was as though he was using his laptop to release his inner curiosity as to why Clare had not broken up with him because of everything he had put her through that year.

Once he had finished typing ten pages, his creative juices were done flowing and his ache had evaporated from his heart. Feeling appeased, he checked the time and saw that it was twelve forty-five; wanting to visit Clare, he saved his work, grabbed his keys, and left his house.

Minutes later, was Eli knocking on the front door of Clare's home and waiting patiently for someone to answer. Helen Edwards answered the door within seconds and a smile sprung onto her face.

"Good afternoon, Eli," she said brightly.

"Hi, Mrs. Edwards," he greeted.

"Come on in," Helen allowed.

"Thank you," he said as he entered the house. "How's Clare doing?"

"_So_ much better," she answered, closing the door. "She slept for a few hours when she came home this morning, now she's doing something or other in her room."

"May I go see her?"

"By all means," she allowed, giving him room to go up the stairs. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks," he said before going up the stairs. He turned down the hall and moved towards Clare's room; once he was there, he gently knocked on her door.

"Come in," she permitted. He noticed that her voice sounded completely normal as he opened the door.

"Hey," he greeted as he saw her typing on her laptop while she sat on her bed.

"Hi," she replied, pausing from her work for a second. She was glad that it was Eli who came here; she just wearing her plain, white flannel pajamas and she knew that he wouldn't mind, therefore not giving her a reason to feel awkward or embarrassed about it. He walked towards her and gave her a kiss before sitting on her bed behind her laptop.

"How you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm coughing every now and then, but other than that I'm good."

"Your voice sounds better too," he informed her. "Happy to be home?"

"Oh yeah," she said instantly. "I'm not surrounded by machines, doctors, and I don't have a needle in my arm."

"And no more of that hospital food," he added.

"Exactly," she agreed. "_And_ I actually get to sleep in my own bed."

"I bet sleeping in this one is paradise compared to the hard mattress you were on for a week."

"Definitely," she stated in agreement. "So what've you been up to?"

"Nothing really, but I went by the school before I got here and it looks as good as new."

"I saw on the news this morning that we'll be able to go back on Monday and finish out the school year."

"Are you still planning on coming back Monday?"

"If my parents think I can handle it," she answered. "But my doctor said that I can't overexert myself for the next few weeks, so my poor little bike is going to be lonely for a while."

"Does that mean more quality time with Morty?" he smirked.

"Maybe," she smirked back at him.

"Because he's missed you," he joked. "Just like how I missed you."

"Oh, come here," she said, before leaning forward a bit before Eli mirrored her movements; she put her left hand on the back of his neck before meeting his lips. She gave him a lingering kiss before pulling away and smiling at him.

"It's nice knowing I'm going to be there while you finish your last two weeks of high school," she said as they sat back in their original positions.

"And Kate's never going to step into those halls again," he included.

"Hallelujah," Clare said, relieved that she would not have to share a school with that girl anymore.

Eli was pleased that she would be returning, but he could not help but be slightly worried about her as well; yes, she was _medically _and _physically_ prepared to go back to school, but was she ready emotionally? From what he had observed the last couple of days, Eli thought that Clare was doing remarkably well for someone who had escaped death; but he was unsure if this was just how she was really feeling or if it was just an act.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she questioned.

"I heard that when people experience certain things, it's hard to go back to the place when it happened."

"I'll be fine," she said in effort to convince him that she was ready to return to Degrassi. "If Kate was still there, then I'd probably be worried about going back, but she's not, so I'll be okay. Besides, I'll have you and Adam there with me."

"True," he said. "But, if you start feeling like you can't take it, come find me, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed. Ever since she and Alli talked in the hospital yesterday, she knew that it was likely that Eli would be more worried than ever about her wellbeing; therefore, she did not feel bothered by this until everything had settled down a bit and all the craziness morphed back into the usual days they remembered.

"Alright," Eli said, now taking interest in what she was doing on her laptop. "What you working on?"

"The boatload of work I've missed over past week," she answered as she started typing again. "I asked my dad to pick up all the work I missed from my teachers."

Eli smirked; she was definitely improving since she was catching up on work when she could be relaxing and enjoying her first day back home.

"You haven't even been out of the hospital for twelve hours and you're working?"

"I want to get it all done, that's all," she shrugged. "I'm behind on _everything_."

"You have the whole weekend to do it. Why don't you just take some time for yourself, take it easy, and don't stress yourself out with school?" he advised her.

"If I don't get it done now, I probably won't finish it later."

He let out a few quiet chuckles.

"I swear, Edwards, you are the only person I know who wouldn't take advantage of being in the hospital for a week."

"You know how I am."

"Babe, I'm sure your teachers will understand if you don't have everything done by Monday."

Clare looked at her laptop and began to muse; maybe Eli had a point. She knew that it wasn't going to be healthy for her to use more energy than necessary. Besides that, there was the fact that she had most of the work done and she was certain that her teachers would give her at least a week to catch up on everything.

"You're right," she finally accepted before closing her laptop and putting it on her nightstand next to the vase of tulips that she had brought home from the hospital.

"Aren't I always?" he smirked.

Clare rolled her eyes before lying on top of her mattress.

"Don't get too cocky."

She patted the right side of the mattress to invite him to lie next to her. He pulled off his boots and took off his jacket before joining her. He looped his arms around her waist until her back was against his front and he began kissing her neck. She hummed pleasantly as he showered her neck with his loving kisses for the first time in a week.

"I love you," she told him.

"I love you too," he replied into her skin.

Clare began to take in everything from his kisses, to his arms around her, to the sweet words he whispered in her ear every few seconds. She was beyond happy in this moment and she never wanted it to end.

"You're beautiful," he whispered in her ear before he kissed the pulse of her neck. He felt her skin turn warm due to the compliment he had just given her.

"This is _so_ much better than homework," she said.

"Almost everything is," he informed, causing her to chuckle lightly; he always found that sound adorable and now it was a perfect remedy to the ears that had been deprived of it for so long. "I've missed the way you laugh."

Clare grinned a little bit more.

"Do you ever get tired of being so sweet to me?"

"No," he answered before kissing behind her earlobe. "It's in my DNA and it makes you smile, so I can't stop even if I wanted to."

"And you don't want to?" she asked.

"Nope," he responded.

"And if you ever do . . .?"

"Never going to happen."

Clare continued to keep the small smile on her face.

"That's good, because I love it when you're all sweet and stuff."

He then gently gave her a peck on the cheek.

"I'm glad it makes you happy."

They both lied there in a peaceful silence for a few minutes. Eli held Clare and he never wanted to let go; the feeling of her in his arms was perfect and he was determined to not take it for granted.

"So, is anything new going on with you?" she finally asked, wanting to know if there was anything else occurring in her boyfriend's life.

Eli knew that if there was ever a time for him to tell Clare what he should've told her before this all happened, it was now.

"I applied for a full scholarship for Ottawa."

"And . . .?" she coaxed, turning on her other side and hoping for the best.

Eli let out a breath before answering.

"I got it."

A huge smile came on to Clare's face.

"That's great! Congrats! I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks, but I'm not going to use it."

"What do you mean?" she asked, her smile disappearing as surprise and concern took place in her eyes.

"I've been doing some thinking and . . . I'm not gonna go."

He saw that Clare looked nothing less than stunned.

"Why?" she asked.

"Do you really have to ask?" he stated. "You almost died."

"But I'm alive now, so you don't have a reason to not go."

Eli disagreed completely; he had a reason to stay far away from the University of Ottawa and as close to Clare as he possibly could.

"If I go to Ottawa and something like this happens again, I won't be able to get to you in a matter of minutes. By the time I'm back here, it could be too late."

Clare expected that Eli was going to be a bit paranoid about her safety because of Julia and because she was approaching death's door at this time last week, but she did not anticipate this. She thought he would stay by her side every moment possible until the trial was over, but she never dreamed that he would consider letting go of a college education at Ottawa along with a scholarship.

"That's crazy," she said bluntly. "You can't throw U of O _and _a full scholarship away."

"I'd rather know you're safe than get an education. At least I can watch over you if I go to TU."

"Eli, you can't protect me all the time."

"I can try."

"Don't do that; don't devote your life to making sure nothing will happen to me. That's just going to make us miserable and you know that will lead to us breaking up or something."

"Clare, I almost lost you; I'm going to do everything humanly possible to make sure that doesn't happen again."

"But you staying here won't guarantee that I'm not going to get hurt. We were in the same building and I still –."

She stopped herself when a realization came over her. She could not believe that she did not see this before.

"Is that what this is about? Because of what happened with the fire?" she asked gently as she put her hand over his shirt rubbed his chest.

He roamed his eyes to her shoulder so he didn't have to look her in the eye.

"I should've gotten to you sooner," he acknowledged.

"Oh, Eli," she groaned, feeling horrible that Eli felt guilty about this.

"If I did, you probably wouldn't have slipped into a coma."

"But you got to me and it's because of you that I'm still here; my parents told me how you asked to keep me on the ventilator longer and how you went to the church, so you can't be mad at yourself for not getting to me sooner when I would be dead if it wasn't for you."

A vivid image of Clare lying in a coffin with pale skin flew through his mind and it made him nauseous. He closed his eyes in attempt remove the image from his brain when Clare's voice found his ears again.

"Sweetheart, I'm fine now; I'm out of the hospital, Kate's going to jail, and everything is fine. The biggest problem we have with you going to U of O is the long-distance thing, but we're going to manage that somehow."

"I can't go if I'm always going to be worried about you."

"Then don't worry about me," she said pointblank.

"Clare –."

"Please, Eli, just _try_ not to worry about me. You may not be able to right now because of everything that's just happened, but when things settle down, _please_ try not to worry."

Eli wasn't going to be swayed easily this time; the long-distance relationship already made him nervous, but now he was terrified that something else could happen to her and he wouldn't be able to hold her and whisper "I love you" in her ear ever again.

"How can I not worry?" he asked.

"Look, I get it if you're worried now, but, in two months or so, I know you'll want to go to Ottawa, not stay in Toronto."

"I'd rather be here and know that you're okay. I've already lost someone who meant something to me; I don't want to lose someone who means _everything_ to me."

Clare looked at Eli with sad eyes.

"You can't live the rest of your life being constantly worried about me."

"But if something else happens to you? I don't want to be in Ottawa and get a call saying you're in the hospital again."

"The odds of that happening to me again are slim."

"But not impossible," he protested.

"But, if I do end up in the hospital again, it's not going to matter if you're here, in Ottawa, or anywhere else; I'm still going to be in there."

"Not if I –."

"You can't protect me from everything and I don't want you to because that could lead to problems!" she restated. "I'd rather be in the hospital and be with you than safe and us be broken up."

"What if Kate gets off in court? She could be freed and come after you again."

"I'll get a restraining order."

"That's not going to keep her away; she's cunning and evil and if she hurts you again I'm never going to forgive myself," he spat out before he could bite his tongue.

"Never forgive yourself? What are you talking about?" she asked him, concernedly.

Seeing that the time had now come for him to speak what had been harboring his mind, he sighed and met Clare's eyes.

"It's my fault that you were in the fire."

"No, it was _Kate's_ fault," she argued calmly.

"She went after you because we're together; she wanted to be with me so bad that she was willing to kill someone."

"And how is it your fault that she's a psychopath?"

"I should've listened to you from the beginning and never should have trusted her."

"I trusted her once too, remember? All of us did; but, even if you never did trust her, she probably would've done something like this if she liked you as much as she did."

"You don't know that."

"And you don't know that she wouldn't have done this otherwise. I'm alive right now because of you, so don't kick yourself down because of something that isn't true."

Eli avoided Clare's eyes, deep in thought; praying that he was going to make the right decision, Clare stayed quiet and waited to him to make his choice. Minutes ticked away until Eli inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his mouth before talking.

"What about your safety?"

"I'm going to be fine," she swore to him. "So go to Ottawa and I promise I'll be careful."

"Super careful?" he asked.

"_Extremely_ careful," she reassured him. "And, if everything goes according to our plan, it'll just be a year until I'm Ottawa with you, so you won't have to worry as much."

That fact made it easier for Eli to make this call that could change nothing, something, or everything, but he continued to think for a few more minutes, wanting this to be his final say on the matter.

"I don't know anyone else who would want to hurt you," he conceded.

"Exactly," she said. "And I'll stay out of harm's way."

He sat there, mulling everything over in his head. Clare waited in bated breath, waiting for him to speak; she lied there, preparing to hear whether he was going to study in Ottawa or stay in Toronto. Neither of them spoke, not wanting to interrupt Eli's thought process. Not sure as to how much time had passed, he met Clare's eyes and announced his decision.

"Okay," he finally concluded. "I'll go to Ottawa."

"Good," she grinned at him before giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Are you going to be okay?"

He nodded, but he was going to remain apprehensive about leaving Clare here.

"I'll be better once Kate is out of our lives forever."

"Don't worry, that won't be much longer," Clare said as she ran her fingers through his hair. "We just have to testify next month and hopefully things will smooth over after that."

"I'll feel better when she's put behind bars."

"We'll just have to wait and see. But she's in holding right now and there's _no_ way she could hurt us, so let's just sit back and relax."

Eli missed the way Clare took the negative and turned it into a positive, but at least he was being able to see it again right now.

"You're the one who almost died and yet you're the one staying mellow," he pointed out. "That's kind of weird."

Clare rolled her eyes.

"You should know," she chuckled.

"Yes, I should," he agreed with a smirk.

Smiling, she snuggled her head into the crook of his neck.

"I love it when you hold me like this," she told him.

"I love the way you feel against me."

Once again, he was showing his sensitive side and it gave Clare a sense of gratification knowing that he could willingly show this part of himself to her when he wanted; he hardly presented it to anyone else. She truly loved this guy and, after everything he had done this month from Alyson to rescuing her from a premature death, she was going to continue to keep her promise and stay with him until the day she died.

It wasn't long until she needed to change the position she was in and so she turned on her other side. Her back was now against his chest as he began to stroke her upper arm in upward and downward motions. She was clearly enjoying it, for she never protested or asked him to stop. Wanting to keep her happy, he continued moving his hand over her biceps. After a few minutes of that and whispering things in her ear, his hand then went down and it grazed her forearm. She inhaled sharply through her teeth and Eli quickly retracted his hand.

"Is that the bad arm?" he asked.

She nodded, feeling the pain begin to subside.

"Still hurts?"

"Only when it's touched," she explained.

"I'm sorry," he said, being careful not to disturb that part of her arm now.

"I'm fine," Clare replied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she said as the soreness in her arm disappeared. "How long can you stay?"

"For as long as your mom lets me," he answered, continuing to only caress her upper arm.

Clare checked the time and saw that it was only two thirty. Knowing that he wouldn't be going anywhere for a few more hours, flipped back over and she snuggled closer to him. Except for Eli whispering to her every so often, it was comfortably silent for at least half an hour. Suddenly, the quiet was interrupted when she began having a coughing fit and took a few deep breaths every three coughs or so. This continued for a minute or two, Eli smoothing his hand up and down her spine the whole time.

"Are you okay?" he asked as the coughs turned into gulps of air. Clare nodded, throat throbbing and eyes watering. Eli then moved his head to kiss her throat, hoping it would help.

"Do you need some water?" he asked, pulling away.

She shook her head.

"I'm fine," she croaked.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

"How about something to eat?" he asked. "Like soup or something?"

Clare considered the idea for a second just as her stomach moaned, longing for some sort of food.

"Soup actually sounds really good."

"Say no more," he said, releasing her and standing up next to the bed. "What kind do you want?"

"Um . . . tomato if we have any."

"And do you want some bread or crackers or anything with it?"

"No, thanks," she said, appreciating how thoughtful Eli was being.

"Alright then, I'll be right back," he promised before kissing her head and leaving the room; before he got far down the hall, however, he returned to stick his head in the doorway to look at her. "You'd better not be doing any homework when I get back," he warned her with a smirk.

"Yes, sir," she agreed with a smile of her own.

()()

Fifteen minutes later, Eli entered her room with a bowl of soup in his hands. Even from across the room he could see her eyes begin to glisten at his presence . . . or maybe it was the food he was bringing to her; either way, he was glad to see her eyes glow this way.

"Here you go," he said, passing her the soup.

"Thanks," she said gratefully. "Didn't you want anything?"

"I had lunch before I left my house."

Ever since he learned that Clare was going to make a full recovery, he had been eating healthily again. Much to CeCe, Bullfrog, and Adam's reliefs, he had started to transform into the Eli they remembered and they were growing less worrisome.

He sat back down next to Clare and watched her as she ate.

"Is it okay?" he asked, not wanting her to consume something she disliked.

"It's great," she answered. She ate a bit more, enjoying the sensation of the contents going down her throat as it soothed it; as it filled her stomach, she, once again, began feeling all this appreciation towards Eli. Well, more than she already had; on top of all he did for her when it came to the Alyson drama, he saved her life and was now taking care of her and, for that, she wanted to repay him. "Remember how I said I'm going to do something special for you?" she reminded him.

Eli rolled his eyes, still staying with his original thought that Clare didn't have to go through so much trouble to do something for him.

"Yes," he answered with a firm exasperation.

"Well, now I'm going to make it super, super, super, _super _special."

"You know you don't have to do anything for me if you really don't want to."

"But I _really_ want to," she said to him directly.

Although he still firmly believed she did not have to do anything for him, he had to admit that the idea was very thoughtful . . . and he also loved seeing the determined side of her.

"I'm not going to talk you out of doing it, am I?" he concluded.

"Nope," she answered as she grinned. "I think that the damsel in distress should do something for the noble knight after he saves her from peril."

"Usually, in those stories, the damsel and knight get married and live happily-ever-after."

"True, but they don't have to wait six years."

"Doesn't mean we have to wait to have a happy ending," he reminded.

"I know . . . but, I still want to do something for you. It's like I said last time: you've done so much for me and I want to do something special for you."

"Okay, but if you change your mind, it's not going to bother me."

"Good to know," she said, telling herself that was _not_ going to do anything of the sort.

The conversation coming to a finish, Clare continued to eat her soup while Eli sat there for a few minutes, just loving being in her company.

"I don't think I've told you how beautiful you are lately," he told her out of the blue.

"You say it to me three times a day," she said, her face turning red again as she gazed at the remains of her soup.

"Yeah, I seem to be cutting back on saying it; while you were in the hospital I must've told you twenty times an hour."

Clare kept her eyes on her bowl, her face still red from his praise. It was silent as she finished eating while her face drained back to its original color; once she was done, she put the bowl to the side before lying back down on her bed and making herself comfortable.

"Eli?" she said, adjusting her head on her pillows and turning on her side to face Eli.

"Yeah?" he replied, lying down next to her.

"Did you say other things while I was in a coma?"

"Every day," he reminisced.

"What else did you say?"

He smirked, glad that he could finally tell Clare everything he had said to her days ago while she could not hear him.

"You really want to know?"

Clare nodded as she fluttered her eyes closed. Before he began, Eli propped himself up on his elbow and rested his head in his hand while he used his free one to gently massage the back of Clare's neck.

"Well, I usually told you about my days and how lonely they were without you. I kept telling you to wake up so I could see your eyes and hear your voice again. There were times when I was really worried about you and I told you that I would've stayed by your side every second possible if I could. And I told you the story of how we met and how that day changed my life forever."

He saw a small grin on Clare's lips and he decided to continue.

"And I also played our song a few times because I thought you would hear it and you'd wake up; when I played it the first time, I talked about the night we made it our song."

Clare, recalling how that was the night they first made love, turned pink at his words.

"I remember," she grinned.

"I also told you that the night we made that our song was one of the best nights of my life along with the nights we said we loved each other and the night you came up to Kingston. I then said that I wished I told you that before the fire just in case I never saw you again."

"It's a good thing I'm here then, isn't it?" she said, not being able to imagine dying without hearing these words.

"I cried a bit as well."

"How much is a bit?" she asked.

"Three or four times a day," he answered. "Maybe more than that."

Clare felt guilty for reasons she did not understand since it was not her fault that she was put in the hospital in the first place; she simply did not want the love of her life to shed tears or feel pain that she caused. She opened her eyes and looked at him sympathetically.

"I didn't want to make you cry."

"You didn't; I was scared of losing you. But I'll tell you this: I wouldn't have cried like that if I didn't love you as much as I do."

Clare gave him a touched yet saddened smile before kissing his cheek.

"You are definitely the most amazing guy I know."

"And you are the most amazing girl I know. And there's one more thing I told you."

"What was that?" she asked curiously.

He slid his hand from her neck to the center of her back as he brought his lips to her ear and softly whispered into it.

"You were the best I've ever had."

"What?" she asked in disbelief.

"You were the best I've ever had," he repeated.

Clare had an idea as to what he meant by "the best he ever had", but she wasn't quite sure.

"Um . . . what do you mean by that exactly?" she inquired, feeling slightly inferior that she had to ask it.

Eli began kissing her jaw and remained there for a minute before pulling away and gazing in her eyes.

"Although it was just that one night, it was enough for me to know that you make the best love I've ever known."

"Eli . . ." she said quietly, flattered yet embarrassed.

"I mean it," he said before moving his lips to her neck. "You're fantastic."

Clare's face burned red as he said those words.

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

But she wanted to say something; of all the things Eli has said to her over the past year and five months, this was probably one of the most touching and definitely one of the most unexpected.

"Thank you," she said bashfully.

He smirked against her skin before pulling away from her neck and kissing her lips.

()()

Clare eventually convinced Eli to help her with some work she wanted to get done for school; he complained at first, but he soon caved in and gave her a hand. They only worked on it for a half an hour and it was relatively easy, so she didn't get stressed out as they did it, which was Eli's main concern. Once they were done, they spent the rest of the day talking and kissing with her in his arms.

Helen came to check on them every now and then and, thankfully, she did not scold at them for lying in the same bed and she did not suggest that Eli should go home. She could see that Clare was at peace and she understood that Eli wanted to be with her, considering how devastated he was when he thought she was going to die. She even invited him to stay for dinner and he agreed. Since Clare was still getting her strength back, she needed some assistance getting to the dining room; Eli was there without a second thought to help her down there and back again once they were done eating.

Night fell and Eli remained by his girlfriend's side. He sat there with Clare, either helping her with yet another story she was working on or just talking to her, and being sure to keep these moments in his memory and heart. He had learned that any moment he spent with Clare could be his last, so every second was beyond precious to him. Therefore, when he saw that it was ten o'clock, his heart fell; he did not want to leave, but he doubted if Mrs. Edwards would be fine with him staying any longer than he already has.

"I should probably go," he told Clare.

Although she was pleased with the day she and Eli spent together in her room, she did not want him to leave her.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" she asked hopefully, trying to hide her disappointment.

"Are you well enough to go to church?"

"Yeah," Clare answered.

"Then how about you text me when you get back and I'll come right over?"

She did not even have to consider her answer, but she wished that she didn't have to wait so long to see him again.

"Alright," she accepted.

He gave her a kiss on the bridge of her nose before sitting up, putting on his boots, and then standing up to put on his jacket. He felt Clare's eyes on him the whole time; once he was done situating his jacket, he turned back to her and saw how her blue eyes shown with sadness of their potential farewell. He sat next to her on the side of the mattress; he gently smoothed some hair out of her eyes and grinned down at her.

"I'll come back tomorrow, I promise," he said to her.

"Okay," she whispered, sounding melancholy.

He then leaned down and took her lips in for a soft kiss.

"I love you," she muttered when the kiss ended.

"I love you too," he reciprocated. He sat up and got onto his feet, keeping his eyes on her the whole time.

Clare began to feel alone, but Eli was still in her room; she was alone at the hospital and she only longed to see him during her hours in there. She did not want to be left here tonight and all she desired was for Eli to be by her side until they absolutely had to part.

"Eli, please don't go," she pleaded, taking his hand before he was out of reaching distance.

He stopped in his tracks and looked back at Clare. She looked a bit crestfallen due to his approaching departure and now he just wanted to take that away from her.

"Stay the night with me?"

Eli stood still for a moment before rolling his lips.

"Clare, you know I would if I could, but your mom already knows I'm here and if I stay up here, she'll know I'm staying with you."

"What if I go talk to her first?"

Eli thought this over, but it didn't take long for a reply.

"If she's fine with it, I'll stay."

She let out a breath of relief, pleased that Eli was onboard with her plan. She let go of his hand and prepared to climb out of bed to travel down to the living room and talk to her mother.

"I'll go get her," he said before her feet could touch the floor.

"Thanks," she said, not wanting to leave the comfort of her room. It didn't take long for Eli to return with Helen and they both stepped over to her bed.

"Is everything okay, sweetie?"

"Yeah," Clare began, suddenly nervous to ask if Eli could stay overnight. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What is it?" she asked.

Clare was certain that Helen and Eli were still on good terms, but she did not want to use that to feed her own personal gain; yet, she hoped that, just this once, their bond and trust would play to her advantage. However, she was unsure how Helen would react to this; so, she was a bit nervous in asking permission.

"Is it okay if Eli spends the night? And . . . um . . . is it alright with you if he stays in here with me?"

Helen stood there, surprised. She did trust Eli and her daughter, considering they'd been up here all day and they did not do anything to make her feel uneasy. On the other hand, Clare had just gotten out of the hospital and she was unsure if Eli's presence was going to distract her from resting or not.

"I don't know, Clare."

"Please, Mom," Clare said. "It's just for one night and nothing's going to happen."

Helen thought about it for a second for a minute while Eli and Clare stood there, anticipating an answer. It was a given that Eli cared about Clare, therefore Helen knew that he would want her to get some sleep so she could get better. Yesterday at the hospital when the two of them went by in the morning to give Clare her panda, he wrote her a note as opposed to waking her up so she could get her strength back quicker; keeping that in mind, Helen voiced her opinion.

"I suppose one night is fine."

"Thank you, Mom," Clare smiled.

"Thanks, Mrs. Edwards," Eli said.

"But this is the only time," she warned them. "And no funny business."

"We promise," he agreed.

"Good," she accepted. "Well . . . goodnight, you two."

"'Night," they said in unison.

She stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her; evidently she had enough trust in them and didn't find the need to keep it open. Relieved that they were finally alone again, Eli walked back to her bed and sat next to her.

"Happy?" he asked with a smirk, seeing her smile.

"Yep," she answered. "Are you?"

"I'm spending the night with my girlfriend; of course I'm happy."

She smiled at him before covering up her mouth to muffle a long, exhausting yawn.

"Ready to go to sleep?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded tiredly.

Eli got off the bed so Clare could get comfortable and so he could step out of his boots and jeans and take off his necklace and rings; once they were both situated, he slid into the bed with her.

"Thanks for staying," she smiled as they got settled under the covers.

"You know I can't say no to you," he said, wrapping his arms around her as gently as possible.

"You can try."

"I don't want to."

She chuckled as they began to rest in the bed; she put her head on his chest and they both closed their eyes.

"I'll try not to bother your arm," he told her.

"Don't worry," she said. "I'm just glad you're staying here."

"Me too," he said.

This was third time she would be sleeping in Eli's arms for a whole night and, once again, Clare felt love and security as she did the last two times. She could not wait until they were married just so she could sleep next to him every night for the rest of her life, but she did not want this to be the last time she would lie by his side until their union in matrimony.

"Can I still move a few clothes over to your house?" she asked, remembering the drawer he had cleared for her but she had yet to fill.

"If you want," he answered. Although she was not looking at him, Clare could tell that Eli was grinning.

"Well, I've been thinking and, since you're leaving for Ottawa soon, maybe having a few sleepovers would be a good idea if we wanted to spend more time together."

"I'm not going to object to that," Eli admitted, still smiling.

"And we don't always have to go to yours; you can spend some nights over here."

"As much as I love the sound of that," he began to agree, "your mom said that this could be the only time I spend the night here."

"Well . . . like I said, I want us to spend as much time as possible together, so, whenever we don't feel like staying at yours, maybe we can figure out a way to sneak you over here."

Very rarely did Clare suggest doing anything mischievous, therefore her proposing that he come over without her mother's knowledge was quite out of the ordinary . . . yet it was really appealing to him.

"You're being rebellious . . . I like it."

She grinned slightly before continuing.

"The only time we may not be able to sleepover is on Saturday night because of church the next day."

"Alright," he said, opening his eyes before approaching a certain question that had been forming in his mind for a couple of days now. "Speaking of church, can I go with you tomorrow?"

Stunned, Clare opened her eyes, pulled her head away from his chest to look at him. She had known that Eli prayed for her whilst she was in a coma, but she did not know that he was willing to push the envelope this much.

"You want to go to church?"

"You see, I'm probably never going to be a Christian like yourself and I'm not a hundred percent sure about a higher power, but something or someone could've heard me praying for you to stay alive and here you are, so . . . I would like to see more about your faith."

Clare couldn't help but smile a little; he was going to church with her and she couldn't but feel that there were about to become closer. She hardly had a problem with him being an Atheist, but knowing that he was considering stuff made her feel at ease. Did this mean that they weren't going to argue about religious issues once they were husband and wife or were they going to have disagreements? There was only one way to find out . . .

"Does that mean we can get married in a church?" she asked.

"If you want to, I won't say anything against it."

She grinned at him.

"And, once we're married, what are we going to do about Christmas?"

"Well, I celebrate the holiday season," he told her. "I think we can reach a fair compromise with that."

"What should we do if we have kids someday? Should we raise them under one religion or another?"

"How about we don't push any religion on them and, when they want, they decide their own views?" Eli suggested.

"I like it," she approved after a short period of thinking.

"See, we're tackling any problems one step at a time," Eli said.

"Yeah," she smiled at him. "I'm glad you're the one I'm going to marry."

"And I'm glad I'm going to marry you."

She transferred her head to the crook of his neck and held him tighter as he kept his arms around her.

"Eli."

"Yes?" he said tiredly as he turned his head to her.

"Please marry me," she breathed. "No matter what happens, please marry me."

"I will," he whispered. He then moved a strand of hair behind her ear before molding his lips to fit hers.

* * *

"_I can feel you all around me_

_Thickening the air I'm breathing_

_Holding on to what I'm feeling _

_Savoring this heart that's healing"_

_~"All Around Me" by Flyleaf_

* * *

Okay, I'm going to try and update this every time a new episode of Degrassi comes on so we can keep the EClareness alive (still _**HATE**_ Clare/Jake, Eli/Imogen) unless I have an additional chapter I want to put up earlier in the week!

Check out the touching fic "Nine Days" by eclarefanxxx. And, if you haven't already, check out "When You Came" by BlackRabbit550; if you have read it, read the sequel "What Comes Next". Read and review her work! She's an incredibly talented writer who deserves more props for her work!

Sooooo . . . reviews?


	88. Ritual

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for your reviews guys!

So . . . tonight's episode had me on the edge the whole time and then I screamed in happiness! Thank GOD that Clare and Jake did not have sex AND they broke up! BEST DAY EVER! And I got chills every time I saw the trailer for Titantic (I LOVE the music of Celine Dion; "My Heart Will Go On" gets me every time).

Okay, what's happening in this chapter won't be how it was on the show because I could not find a link to it and I haven't seen the episode in a while (and I missed it when the marathon was on), so I'm going to just improvise. Final reminder: I was stupid and forgot Adam was in the same grade as Clare when this story started, so I made him a senior in this fic and it was too late to change it when I remembered; let's say Adam and Eli are in the same grade and Drew is a year older than Eli. Again, my bad. Shutting up now! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. I just sail the EClare ship until the end of time.

* * *

Chapter Eighty-Eight

Ritual

All the students, including Clare, returned to Degrassi that Monday. The hallways were repaired, but more work was going to be done over the summer; the Art room still needed to be rebuilt, so it was blocked off by caution tape for the safety of the students. Besides that, however, everything slowly returned to normal once everyone got reintroduced to their environment again.

Clare was especially pleased to be back at school, although she could've lived without as much cards, flowers, and multiple gift baskets; many people from her classes, Jesus Club, and Drama Club decided to welcome her back in the best way possible, and those were the best ways they could think of. She did appreciate the thought, but it soon became a lot to handle. The gifts were flattering at first, then simply overwhelming, and then it just became a huge mess; it had gotten so bad that she could not fit everything in her locker, so she, Eli, and Adam moved as much as they could to Morty for the remainder of the day. Both of the boys found it a bit strange that all these people were caring now, but they did not come see her in the hospital; but, not wanting to insult Clare's friends, they held their tongues the whole time and only focused on the remainder of the school year.

End of the year exams came and went, much to everyone's relief. Summer vacation was fast approaching; in fact, the last two weeks were over in a blink of an eye and it was time for everyone to say goodbye.

Eli came to school that last day, driving without Clare because she wanted to ride with Adam; he did not argue or have harsh feelings, for she hardly got a ride in Han Solo and this was her last chance to be driven to school in him. He was now driving around the parking lot in Morty to find a good parking spot when a familiar sight caught his eye.

Once he parked his hearse, he climbed out and walked over to that area . . . it was where he and Clare met. He could practically hear himself saying "I think they're dead" before returning the broken glasses to her. He smirked at the memory, still quite amazed that the same girl was going to become his wife one day.

Keeping that moment in his head, Eli set off towards the school, entering it for his last and final day. He walked, recalling all the other memories that filled the halls. There was the area where he, Adam, and Sav tried to scheme a way to go to the Dead Hand concert; there was that spot in the library when he kissed Clare before Vegas Night; and there was the familiar bench that he, Adam, and Clare sat on many times to talk, rest, and do the occasional homework assignment.

Then he came to his locker, which had just as many memories of good and bad. There were stories of love when he and Clare stood by it and exchanged few kisses, stories of anger when he wanted to curse himself because of all the Kate issues, and there were the simple stories of everyday friendship. He could go on, but the list was endless and he knew that more of these thoughts would cross his mind countless times throughout this day.

He opened up his locker, the moments he would dial the combination beginning to wane. The inside was almost bare, considering he began cleaning it out a few days ago; there were only a few pictures and notes on the inside of his door, three notebooks, and the couple of textbooks he had yet to return to his teachers. Deciding that it was better late than never, Eli reached inside the storage facility and pulled out the remains and securing them in his almost empty bag.

Once his locker was vacant, he stared at it, the reality that this was his last day beginning to settle in his heart. Not only would he be leaving this school, but he would be saying goodbye to the ghost of the person he used to be; when he first arrived at Degrassi, he hid himself away, guilt-ridden by the death of Julia, he never opened himself up too many people, and he was hoarding. But then he met Clare and Adam and both of them changed his life for the better; they became him friends, and eventually more, and they got him to tear down his walls, helped him accept Julia's death, which led to him to not feel the need to blame himself as much, and he had stopped hoarding. He had grown so much since his first day of Degrassi and he could not be happier; he had found his truest friend and the love of his life and he would not change any of it for the world.

()()

Throughout the remainder of the day, students were wishing their friends and teachers a happy summer or were saying their goodbyes. During their English class, the trio came up to Miss Dawes to say farewell; she had always been their favorite teacher. As they boys said goodbye to her, Clare began seeing that this was their last English class together; when they ate lunch, it would be the last time they ate lunch in the Degrassi cafeteria together; everything was going to be a last time today and it made her a bit depressed. It felt like the time had gone by way too fast and it was impossible to get back.

_That's a part of life_, was what she thought to herself.

She kept those words in her head for the rest of the day; it was difficult to go through the hours without feeling a bit of sadness, but the three of them made the day enjoyable nonetheless. But, all too soon, the final bell rang and the day was over; Clare was now cleaning the remaining objects out of her locker when Eli approached her, his mind and heart trying to accept that this day was finally finished.

"My last day as a member of Degrassi student body has reached its close," he began theatrically, trying to add humor to a somewhat disheartening situation. "It's an eerie feeling to think I will never walk through these halls as a pupil of this fine educational institution."

Clare turned her head to him.

"You are _so_ depressing."

"Alright," he said, latching his arms around her waist. "How about the first day of summer is upon us?"

"Much better," she grinned before returning to her locker. "And, technically, you're still a student here until graduation."

"Touché," he accepted. "But summer starts tomorrow."

"It does," she said, removing all the pictures she had on her locker door. "Have any awesome plans?"

"Hmm . . .," he pretended to muse. "I'm planning to spend time with my girlfriend."

"I'm sure she'll like that very much," Clare played along.

"I know she will," he said before planting a kiss on her jaw as she continued tidying the locker. "Want to hang out Sunday after you get back from church?"

"Sorry, I can't," she said, taking down the last picture. "Annual beginning of summer sleepover with Alli."

"Oh, right," Eli remembered; every year, Clare and Alli would have a sleepover to celebrate the first day of summer, but they were going to be at prom tomorrow and decided postpone until the day after.

"But," Clare said, "we were thinking about going to the mall around noon. If I talk to her and Adam, want to see if the four of us could go together?"

"If Alli's up to it, I'm in."

"Great," she said.

Eli unraveled his arms from her body and leaned against the locker next to hers as he waited for her, knowing that he would be a high school graduate twenty-four hours from now.

()()

Adam spent as much time as possible journeying through the halls on the last day; although he and Eli have not been at this school for as long as most of the other students, he had grown to love it. He was glad that this was where they settled and that they did not drop everything and change schools again despite all the drama he went through once the whole student body found out about him being transgender. He was also pleased that he had become best friends with Eli and Clare, whom he confided in and they had never betrayed his trust. He hoped that the three of them Eli would remain friends for the rest of their days, but he was certain that being so far away from each other for a stretch of time would be a test of their friendship . . . but he was sure that they would survive it.

He then saw Eli leaning against a locker while Clare, it seemed, was cleaning out her own. Deciding to spend his last few minutes in this school with his two best friends, he walked over to them at a fair speed.

"Well, amigos, graduation's tomorrow morning and prom's tomorrow night," Adam stated as he joined them. "Then we begin summer vacation!"

"We were just talking about that," Eli said.

"Sweet," he said. "Do we already have insane plans?"

"Mall with Alli tomorrow if she's okay with us tagging along," he informed.

"Works for me," Adam agreed. "Are you going to miss us next year, Clare?"

"Of course I am. I don't even remember what life at Degrassi was like before I roamed the halls with my fellas."

"I feel so loved," Adam smiled, dramatically putting his hand over his heart.

"I just have to endure a lonely senior year," she mentioned, closing her locker.

"That sucks," he said.

"Yeah," she said as they began stepping down the hallway. "It'll be okay; I'll survive . . . but, you guys will probably get a call from me three times a day."

"Works for me," Eli consented. "As long as we still get to visit you on weekends, holidays, and stuff."

"Well, naturally I'm not going to sit on my butt and just wait to see you guys again until you graduate college."

"So we should all meet up once a month at least," he planned.

"Sounds good," Clare agreed.

"Eli, we haven't even graduated yet," Adam reminded.

"And it never hurts to plan ahead," he shrugged as they reached the exit of the school.

"Whatever you say, Goldsworthy . . . whatever you say."

And then, for the last time, the trio stepped out of Degrassi together . . .

()()

The next morning came; the sun was out, the sky was clear, and the weather was pleasantly warm. Ever since sunrise, the faculty had been making preparations for the graduation ceremony that was to take place in a matter of hours. Although many of them had done this before, it was still an emotional task to complete; almost all of these teachers had known these students since they were in grade nine, so it would be hard to watch them leave. Many family and friends were sharing similar emotions as the hours passed and people began arriving at the school.

Helen and Clare left at an appropriate time and picked up Randall and Alli, who had both wanted to be there for the boys' graduation. They parked their car before climbing out and see that a small stage was set up in the front of the school and a podium sat in the center of it; in front of the platform was an array of chairs for the graduates to sit on. Behind those chairs were portable metal bleachers for families and friends to sit in while they watched their sons, daughters, nephews, nieces, and whatnot graduate from high school.

None of them saw a grade twelve in sight, because all of them were inside the school, changing into their caps and gowns and waiting patiently for the ceremony to begin. It was kind of strange to think that Eli and Adam were going to be leaving high school on this day; it felt like just yesterday they were making that _Romeo and Juliet_ movie for English class and now they were getting ready to take on the real world.

Wanting to sit with the Goldsworthys, the quartet skimmed the bleachers to find them; not looking for long, they saw CeCe and Bullfrog sitting with Adam's parents and Drew, who had come from university to watch his brother graduate. As they all began to journey towards them, Clare began to feel uneasy, considering the history Alli had with Adam's brother.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked Alli in a hushed tone so her parents would not hear them.

"Yeah," Alli answered. "I'm here to support Eli and Adam, not to get involved in drama with my ex."

"Good," she said, confident that Alli would not start anything. However, she was unsure if Drew would stir any trouble or not since she did not know him that well.

They four of them climbed the bleachers until they were with Adam and Eli's families; Mr. and Mrs. Torres, CeCe, and Bullfrog were sitting on one bench while Drew sat on the one in front of them by himself. They all greeted each other, made any necessary introductions, and they all took their seats.

Clare did not want to witness any drama today between Alli and Drew, so she filled the seat between them, prepared to act as a mediator if necessary. The adults started having their own conversation while the teenagers sat there in silence; it was strange, considering none of them had any idea what to say since the last time Alli and Drew saw each other was when she told him that she was leaving Degrassi.

"So . . . you and Adam?" he said casually, leaning forward to look at his ex-girlfriend.

"We're going to prom together," Alli answered.

"Well, that should be fun."

"It will be," she said nonchalantly.

"Let's just hope prom is all it is," Clare heard Mrs. Torres mutter to her husband; at those words, Clare could not help but feel a bit of anger. She liked Adam's mother, but there were times when she found her a bit aggravating; however, she did not expect her to still have her less than negative opinions on Alli.

She held her tongue and turned to her friend, who was looking at the hands in her lap; it was clear by the pink on her cheeks that she had also heard Mrs. Torres. Feeling sympathy for her, Clare gently gave Alli a pat on the back; appreciating Clare's actions, Alli turned to her and gave her a small grin.

"So how's university treating you?" Clare asked then Drew in an effort to fill the silence and not make it seem like she was avoiding his existence.

"Alright, I guess," he said indifferently with a half shrug. "Adam told me that you and Eli are still going strong."

"Stronger than ever, actually," Clare corrected, grinning at this fact.

"Cool," he said, sensing that this conversation was not going to continue.

Thankfully, there was no more need for discussion, because seniors were now coming outside in their caps and gowns. Within minutes, a large number of students came out of the school and began taking their seats, ready to become high school graduates.

Katie Matlin, to no one's surprise, was valedictorian and she stood out in the crowd by the yellow sash that was draped over her shoulders, causing her to stick out in the sea of blue. Alli and Clare sat there, recognizing many of the seniors; Owen, Marisol, Bianca, Mo, and many more seniors came into the crowd. They kept their eyes out for the two they came to see, but the caps were shielding their faces, therefore making it difficult to recognize them.

"There they are!" CeCe suddenly exclaimed.

Clare then saw Eli and Adam as they sat down in their chairs as the remaining students moved to their appropriate seats in an orderly fashion. As the rest of the teenagers hustled and bustled to take their seats, the two boys looked over their shoulders to find their families; seeing their faces, Clare and everyone else smiled and waved at them. Noticing their gestures, the two of them grinned and waved back.

As soon as all the students were seated, Simpson got up on stage, introduced himself, welcomed the graduates, and greeted the audience with a long, heartfelt opening before allowing Katie to take her place on the stage to give her own speech as valedictorian.

"Welcome. Hello. How are you?" she said to her fellow seniors. "Those are what we all say when we meet someone new or greet friends old and new. Four years ago, a lot of us said hello to Degrassi; for others, you came along a bit later, but you're here today to celebrate this day with your friends, classmates, peers, and the people who were there throughout your days of high school.

"For many, graduating is saying goodbye. In many ways, it is; it's goodbye to your school, your teachers, some of your friends, and goodbye to the things you would only experience in high school. At the same time, graduating is hello; hello to the world that's waiting for us and the hello to the lives we are about to live. Whether it's us going for the gold and taking the world by storm or living the more casual lifestyle, all the people in front of me have a life ahead of them and there's not a doubt in my mind that they will live it to the best of their abilities.

"We don't know what is waiting for us out there. Yes, we may have an idea, but we're not really sure until we live it for ourselves; we're uncertain of a lot of things, but we are certain about just as much. We know that we survived high school, which, as we all know, was not easy. There was school work, fitting in, drama, you name it, we've probably lived it. But we're sitting here today, preparing to take the next step in our lives and I know that we can do it no matter what stands in our way."

At those words, Eli turned his head so he could be behind him. He saw his parents, Alli, Adam's family, Helen, Randall, and Clare. He noticed how everyone was watching Katie as she spoke while his girlfriend was staring at him. She gave him a smile when he met her gaze and he grinned back.

"I love you," she mouthed to him.

"I love you," he mouthed back before turning back around in his seat to listen to the rest of Katie's speech.

"This is not the end," she said. "This is the beginning of the rest of our lives. Now, I say to all, congratulations and let's all end this chapter of our lives so we can start the next one."

As the speech came to a close, the audience of both students and others began applauding her as she stepped down from the stage.

"Thank you, Katie," Simpson said as he stood behind the podium. "Now, I would like to introduce our graduating class."

One-by-one, he began reading the names of all the seniors that were preparing to take their next step of life. The students came up to the stage, shook Simpson's hand, and accepted their high school diplomas; some of them were very nonchalant; others were tearing up; the rest were smiling the widest smiles anyone had ever seen.

When the list left the last names that began with F and proceeded into the G's, Clare pulled out her phone and prepared to get video footage of her boyfriend graduating. It would not be much longer until his name would be called and she could not help but smile about it. This would be the last few seconds that she, Adam, and Eli would be high school students together; once they obtained their diplomas, they would no longer be members of Degrassi Community School.

As pleased as she was that Eli was graduating, she was also a bit heartbroken by it. Within eight weeks, he would be on his way out east to move to the place he would be calling home for the next four years. The long-distance relationship was a bit frightening to her, but she had enough faith in her and Eli's love to know that it would last; her only concern now was how she was going to cope with the loneliness. Obviously, they would not be able to talk every second, maybe not even every day, and she would have to deal with a life that she had not lived since before she met Eli. It was going to be strange dealing with that after seeing him almost every day for nearly two years; she did not want to face it, but she had no choice.

But now was not the time to worry about that; Eli's name was going to be announced at any second and Clare wanted to be one of the people cheering for him. Simpson presented someone with their diploma and she knew who would be accepting theirs next . . .

"Elijah Goldsworthy," Simpson voice echoed around the atmosphere.

Eli's family (both present and future by marriage), Alli, and the Torres family applauded cheerfully with his peers as they saw Eli step up to the front of the school to shake the principal's hand and accept his high school diploma. He looked to his group of supporters as he got off the stage and they all waved at him, grinning at his accomplishment. He gave them his lopsided smile and waved back to them.

Adam's turn was soon to come and Clare got her phone ready again. This was it; once Adam shakes Simpson's hand, she would be the only one of their little group who would still attend Degrassi. Although she did not want to be the only left behind, she was proud of Adam; ever since he moved to Degrassi, he had to endure those who judged him for being transgender, but he survived and now he was graduating. It was a bit sad to think about, but it was comforting to know that they were going to stay in touch. She could already see her and Eli's wedding day with Adam by their side as best man.

He was definitely her and Eli's biggest support through everything and she was blessed that they each had such a good friendship with him. Adam got them through all of their rough patches, gave them advice, was there for them no matter what, and he was always a voice of reason when it was needed. Yes, he did pick on the couple at times for acting so affectionate and sappy all the time, but Clare believed he earned that right after everything he did for them since the beginning.

"Adam Torres," Simpson proclaimed.

The same crowd cheered for Adam as they did for Eli, but Clare could hear Eli's bark of support for his best friend as he accepted his diploma. Adam clearly heard him, for he shot Eli a look of appreciation after he began traveling back to his seat.

The remaining students in the crowd eventually all had their moment in the spotlight when their name was declared to over three hundred people. It was not too long until every last student's name had been called and then the moment they'd been waiting on for four years had arrived . . .

"Congratulations to our graduating class," Simpson bade.

After those words, the class student stood up on their feet and, within a matter of seconds, many hats were tossed into the air. While the caps flew, all teachers, students, families, and friends there that day stood up and applauded the graduates. It was official: Clare's two best guy friends had completed high school and never had to attend it again.

"Our boys are out of high school," CeCe said to Mrs. Torres, tears of joy and sadness in her eyes; she could not believe her baby boy had completed high school and, eventually, was going to the University of Ottawa.

"It's unbelievable," she replied, dabbing her eyes with a tissue that she knew that she would need for this day.

The group began looking for the two boys they were here for; within a matter of seconds, they saw them together and walking out of the sea of people, conversing all the while. Actually, the closer the two groups got, the more that their families could hear that they weren't speaking, but _singing_. The as their distance was shortened with every step, they could hear the boys singing some lines from the Alice Cooper song "School's Out".

"_School's out for the summer_

_School's out forever_

_School's been blown to pieces_"

Once they saw their supporters, they immediately stopped reciting the anthem and awkwardly held their caps in their hands, slightly embarrassed from the bemused and humored looks on everyone's faces; it was very rare that they heard the boys singing.

"We were just . . .," Eli began.

"Supporting our fellow of rock and rollers and classmates as to . . .,"Adam continued.

"The importance of . . . summer and . . . freedom and . . ."

"Okay, okay," Bullfrog said before walking up to his son.

The Goldsworthys huddled into a group hug as Adam's family bombarded him with affection; Alli, Clare, and her parents stood to the side and watched as the two families had their small moment before separating themselves from their siblings or offspring. Clare noticed how CeCe and Mrs. Torres still had tears on their skin and in their eyes as they completed hugging their sons.

The families soon broke apart, allowing the remaining persons to give their praise to the two of them.

"My turn," Clare smiled before wrapping her arms around Eli's neck and hugging him. "Congrats."

"Thanks," he said, giving her a hug in return.

She soon released him and let Alli give him a hug before they both went to give one each to Adam. Eli was flattered when his future in-laws congratulated him; ever since Clare was admitted to the hospital, he felt himself becoming closer and closer with Clare's family and he was quite thankful for that fact.

Many pictures were then taken, much to no one's surprise, by the parents of the graduates. There were pictures of Adam, Drew, and his parents, Eli with CeCe and Bullfrog, just of the two boys, the boys with Clare and Alli, and others similar to that; they even asked someone to get a picture of all eleven of them together with all their cameras.

After many, many photos were taken, the cameras were returned and the Torres family broke away from the rest of the group specifically so they could speak to Adam in private.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Your grandmother is coming over tonight," his mother told him.

Adam nodded; because of the whole situation with his grandmother still not knowing that he was FTM transgender, his mother had convinced her not to come to graduation for they knew Simpson would not say Gracie, but Adam. However, she was coming to have dinner before Adam had to leave for prom and he just hoped that his grandmother was not going to notice when he left in a tuxedo.

"And . . . maybe now won't be such a bad time to introduce her to Adam," Mrs. Torres said with a grin.

Adam could not believe his ears; his apprehension transformed into delight and mild surprise.

"For real?" he said, amazed.

Mrs. Torres nodded.

"You're out of high school now and it's time for you to live your life the way you want; and, if you want to be Adam and if you want others to know, that's your right."

Even though Mrs. Torres had not seen Adam as Gracie for some time now, he still never felt like he could be himself all the time; now, however, he could tell that this was a start of a new beginning for not only him, but how his mother and the rest of the world saw him. Completely astounded and overwhelmed, Adam took his mother into a hug.

"Thanks, Mom," he said happily. "I love you."

"I love you too, son," she added purposely.

While Adam and his mom had their conversation, Eli and Clare's parents and Alli were talking and bragging on the boys while the couple stood a few of feet away from them, their hands intertwined.

"So . . . how does it feel to be out of high school?" she asked, keeping her fingers between his.

"Other than knowing that I'll never attend Degrassi again? Pretty much the same," he concluded.

She smiled at him, feeling proud of him for graduating despite the small bit of loneliness she felt.

"Are you still interested in being with a high school student?" she said teasingly.

"Well, I have my reputation to uphold . . . so definitely."

They exchanged smiles before she observed the robe that was covering his body and the blue hat that was resting on his head again.

"My little Eli's all grown up."

"Or is he?" he interjected, which earned a chuckle from Clare.

"Either way, I'll still love you."

"I knew you would."

She grinned before kissing his cheek.

"Well, got to go pick up my dress and get ready for prom," Clare said. "Gotta look good for my date."

"You don't even have to try," he told her.

"Aw, how sweet," Helen said.

The two of them were too caught up in their own little world that they had forgotten that they were in public and that their parents were watching them.

"Uh . . . Mom . . . Dad . . .," Clare said, hoping they would get the idea.

"Oh, right, sorry," Helen said embarrassedly. "We'll give you two a minute."

Without another word, Helen, Randall, Alli, and Eli's parents moved towards the Torres family and away from the teenagers to give them some privacy.

"Always count on my mom to kill a mood," Clare chortled, recalling all the times Helen has intruded on her and Eli's moments.

"At least she didn't catch us at a bad time or something," he noted.

"Good point," Clare nodded. "Fifteen minutes out of high school and you're already wiser."

"Yeah, I'm awesome that way," he sighed.

"And you're smugger," she added before smiling at him and he couldn't resist but to smile back.

"It's just another one of my personality traits."

"And I love them," she said. "And I also love that you're my prom date."

"Yes, I am. So that means I'll be picking you up . . . ten minutes before six?"

"Sounds good," she agreed. "I can't wait."

"Me neither," he reciprocated.

They both grinned, equally excited to be going to prom together.

"I'll see you tonight," she smiled at him.

"See you," he said before pecking her lips. It was a lovely, quick kiss, but Clare thought he deserved more than that. He began unhooking his hands from hers when she grabbed the front of his robe.

"Hold on a second," she said. "It's your graduation; I'm giving you more than that."

Before he could say a word, she slammed her lips to his, kissing him with all the love inside her. She grazed her lips over his and devotedly used her tongue to care for the inside of his mouth. She graced him with the presence of the kiss for at least a minute before slowly pulling away and seeing his eyes glistening from the effects of the kiss.

"Is that my graduation gift?" he smirked.

"Something like that," she nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to pick up my dress."

"I can't wait to see you in it," he said before giving her another kiss on the lips.

After everyone wished each other goodbye, they departed with their families, only to reunite that upcoming evening . . .

* * *

"_Singing songs of the old days _

_Try to remember what's gone by _

_Stronger in new ways_

_Don't care what they say _

_This is your life_

_It's time to rejoice"_

_~"Ritual" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

Shout out to Moxxy (who was a complete lifesaver and helped me with the Drew/Alli stuff in this chapter!). Go read her stories if you haven't already!

BTW: New vlogs up on YouTube if you want to check them out

So, The Cliffhanger Girl is awesome (just wanted to throw that out there) and you guys should check out her work! I tell you, whenever I need a dose of EClare to distract me from the show, I will either read her work or reread a few other awesome stories! Yeah, I think I'll survive the Eli/Imogen and Clare/Jake stuff (thank God and the internet for fanfiction).

Prom's coming up! Reviews please!


	89. Never Stop

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Once again, the reviews were lovely! Thank you all! Okay, from now on, I'm not posting what happens in the episodes just in case people haven't seen it, but feel free to tell me your thoughts! However, I will give my opinion on it overall. Tonight's episode . . . whoa! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, I don't own Harry Potter, I don't own a dragon, I don't own Mickey Mouse, and I don't own an elephant. I know only one of those things is relevant, but I've always wanted Harry Potter to fly in on a dragon with Mickey Mouse and then they'd give me an elephant . . . another childhood dream crushed (jk)!

* * *

Chapter Eighty-Nine

Never Stop

Dusk was fast approaching and students all through the neighborhood were preparing for prom. The males who usually cared less about their appearance began to tidy up, shave, comb their hair, and change into a tuxedo; females were doing touchups on makeup, hair, and adding accessories that matched their dress. It was supposed to be fairly warm that night and not a cloud was residing in the sky, therefore allowing the stars to gaze on the attendees for Degrassi's end of the year event.

Clare slipped into her blue spaghetti strap dress and a pair of white high heels, her stomach fluttering with excitement. She curled her hair a little to add a bit more volume to it, applied some light purple eye shadow on her lids, and added some eyeliner and mascara before putting on some blush and lip-gloss. She looked in the mirror to judge her overall appearance; she was satisfied, especially when she saw that the heels made her taller and that her dress did not seem too long on her petite stature.

She had another ten minutes before Eli came to pick her up, so she decided to go ahead and put on the accessory she was going to be wearing in company with the corsage her boyfriend was bringing. She reached for her the necklace she had in mind when she noticed the burn marks on her arm that she received from the fire a few weeks ago. Since the damage was not severe, the injury would heal with time, she just hoped that they would have faded a bit more by now, for she didn't feel secure showing them to the world, especially tonight.

She really did not want Eli to see them since she knew it would probably remind him of that night and the week that followed while she was in a coma. Ever since she was released from the hospital, she hid the marks from him by wearing bandages, a jacket, or long sleeves so they didn't have to recall that point in time; but, that wasn't going to be an option tonight.

Clare considered covering the burns up with foundation, but she knew that it could easily come off throughout the night and that it would probably not help with the arm's healing process. Sighing in frustration, Clare walked to her drawers and looked for a solution. She hurriedly rummaged through them, hoping to find something to help her situation. After searching for three minutes and preparing to give up, she noticed a fashionable scarf. It was two shades lighter than her dress and it was a decent length. Approving of it, she pulled it over her shoulders to see if it was long enough to cover her injuries; to her dismay, it wasn't.

Deciding to go with a different approach, she pulled it off and wrapped it around her forearm; it was a struggle tie, since she could only use one arm and her teeth. Once it was attached, she reached for a necklace that had the letter _C _on it, put it around her neck, and examined herself in the mirror one last time. She wasn't thrilled with the look of the scarf, but she felt like she had no choice and she would rather have a small flaw in her outfit than let Eli be haunted by that horrible week; this was his last prom and his happiness was all that mattered to her.

Ready for her date to arrive, she grabbed her purse and she made her way downstairs. She saw the clock on the wall read ten minutes till six and that was when Eli said he would be there. Right on cue, she heard a knock at the front door. Smiling, Clare opened the door and saw Eli standing there, looking absolutely amazing in his black tuxedo and dark green bowtie. It wasn't fancy, but she thought he looked perfect . . . well, more perfect than usual. He was holding a small, clear plastic box that contained her corsage; the band was a light blue and had a white flower on it. Once they were done taking in each other's attire and whatnot, they both smiled at each other.

"Good evening, ma'am," he said formally.

"Same to you, sir," she replied before she let him in the house. She closed the door after she was inside and turned to him, hoping he would not say a word about the addition to her outfit that was the scarf bandage.

"Clare . . . you look beautiful . . . as always," he said to her, gazing at her all the while.

She blushed and it outshone the makeup on her cheeks.

"And you look as handsome as ever," she complimented before walking towards him and putting a kiss on his lips.

As they pulled away, Clare noticed the scarf around her right arm was coming undone; she cursed herself inwardly, wishing that she had secured it better. She hastily tried to retie it before Eli saw the marks the flames left behind on her skin, not wanting the night to start off on a bad note.

"Is your arm okay?" he asked, seeing that it was the arm that was injured in the fire.

"It's fine," Clare replied, putting her purse on the table by the door before trying to adjust the scarf with one hand.

Having a hunch as to what she was doing, Eli put the box containing her corsage next to her purse before gently easing his hands towards her arm; Clare thought he was going to help her tie it, but he did just the opposite.

"Wait," she attempted to protest, but Eli overlooked her order and continued to unravel the scarf from her. As soon as the clothing was off her, he noticed the marks on her arm and saw how Clare was now looking away from him.

"Does it still hurt?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"I just . . . didn't want you to . . .," she began quietly before going completely silent.

"Clare?" he coaxed as he tried to meet her eyes, wanting to know why she felt like she had to hide this.

She took breath and faced him again, hoping that her reasons did not sound completely ridiculous to him.

"This is your final Degrassi dance . . . and I didn't want you to keep seeing them; I thought that if you did, bad memories and everything would come back and . . . I don't want you to be upset or anything at prom," she confessed.

"Oh," he said, seeing her point.

"Yeah," she said; she began to reach for the scarf again, but Eli retracted it away. "Eli . . ."

"Are _you_ going to be thinking about the fire all night?" he asked.

"No, but –."

"If it's fine with you, it's fine with me."

"But you shouldn't have to look at them all night."

"Clare, they don't bother me," Eli promised before wrapping his arms around her waist as she put her hands on his upper arms. "And, if anything, they make you look more beautiful."

She grinned with a small blush still coming onto her cheeks.

"So . . . you don't care about seeing them at all?"

"Not even a little. Besides, they show that my girl's a fighter."

Her grin stretched into a smile.

"And that my guy's a hero."

Not quite sure how to respond to her statement, Eli took her in for another kiss before unwrapping his arms from her.

"But," he began before setting the scarf down on the side table and getting the corsage out of its box, "if it will make you feel any better about it . . ."

He guided her right hand up before sliding the band onto her wrist. She beamed at him when he took her hand and put his lips to it.

"And just as beautiful," he smiled.

She gave him a smile before she pulled him into a loving hug.

"Unless you'd rather wear that scarf all night," he mentioned with a grin, knowing she preferred to go without it.

"I'll pass," she smiled, leaning out of the hug to look at Eli. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," he eased her. "So, are you ready to get this show on the road?"

"Actually, before we go, I want to give you something," she said, retrieving her purse.

"Clare, you didn't have –."

"I know, but I wanted to," she interrupted, knowing what he was going to say. "I wanted to do something special for you since it's your last prom here and I tried to decide what I could do, but I couldn't think of anything, so I got you something instead," she said, pulling an object out of her purse and passed it to Eli.

It was a silver bracelet, but he saw the words engraved around it in fancy calligraphy. They read: _"No dust will ever grow on this frame. One million years, I will say your name."_ Those were the lyrics from their song that they both loved hearing since it described their relationship so well; he then noticed that there was writing on the inside of the bracelet and saw the names _Eli & Clare_ gazing at him.

"Wow," he said with a grin, staring at the phenomenal gift.

"I know it's a bit sappy and –."

"Clare, I love it," he told her honestly, looking back up at her.

"Really?" she asked.

"Really," he promised before he slid it on his right wrist; it fit him perfectly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she muttered. "So . . . ready to go?"

"If you are," he answered.

"Hold on!" a new voice called from the kitchen. Seconds later, Clare's parents and Alyson scampered into the room. The couple both noticed the camera that Randall was holding in his hands and Clare instantly knew what was coming.

"Guys," she moaned, turning red; she knew that this was a big moment for her parents, but that did not make her feel any ease.

"Just one or two?" her mom pouted.

"Okay," Clare accepted quietly.

"Alright," Randall said as he turned on the camera and looked through the lens. "Get ready . . ."

Clare stood by Eli, who wrapped his arm around her waist as she placed her hand in the center of his back. They stood there for a half a minute until Randall was satisfied with the focus before snapping a picture.

"Another . . . and another . . . alright . . . one more . . ."

"Mom," Clare groaned, hoping her mother would intervene after the fifth one was taken.

"Okay, Randall, I think that's enough," Helen said, recalling how many pictures her dad took before her prom.

"Fine," he said, turning off the camera.

The couple stopped posing and Clare moved towards the door to avoid the traditional speech her parents gave her and Darcy when they went out on important dates.

"Have fun," Helen wished them, seeing that her daughter wanted the night to begin.

"We will," Eli and Clare said in unison.

"And, Clare, be sure that –," Alyson began.

Before she could say a word, Helen and Randall turned to her and gave her a look that said "not today"; seeing their faces, Alyson let out a breath and decided to change her words.

"Be sure that you have a good time."

"Okay," Clare agreed, not really caring what Alyson was going to say originally; she just wanted this night with Eli to be special and nothing was going to change that. "See you guys later."

"Bye," the adults chorused as the teenagers began exiting the house.

"May I escort you to prom?" he endeavored of her chivalrously as he offered his arm to her.

"You may," she complied, hooking her arm through his before the stepped towards Morty.

()()

They drove for a matter of minutes until they arrived at the hotel where prom was being held and Eli parked Morty in a free spot. He climbed out and hurriedly got to Clare's side of the car before she could open the door; he pulled on the handle and took Clare's hand to lead her out onto the ground.

"Thank you," she said to him as he closed her door.

"You're very welcome," he answered as he kept her hand in his.

They already saw many couples crowding outside the hotel, waiting impatiently for six o'clock to arrive. They noticed the assortment of dresses and tuxedos that everyone was wearing and how they all seemed anxious for the doors to open and for the night to start. Eli and Clare skimmed the crowd to see anyone they recognized; they saw many familiar faces, but only two grabbed their attention.

"There're Adam and Alli," Clare pointed out before they started walking towards them.

Alli was wearing a black and red corsage on her left wrist while golden bangles rested on the other as a matching chain hung around her neck; Adam wore a black tuxedo with a red vest and tie. They were practically color coordinated and, in Clare's opinion, it was very adorable. They were grinning and talking to each other; it seemed like they were already enjoying themselves although the dance had not even begun yet.

"Who started the party without us?" Eli joked as they approached the couple. They both turned in their direction and saw the future Mr. and Mrs. Goldsworthy coming towards them.

"Clare, oh my God, you look amazing!" Alli exclaimed as she hugged her best friend; she was really getting into the spirit of prom.

"So do you," Clare replied as the separated. "And you're looking real spiffy, Adam."

"I clean up nice, don't I?" he said before noticing Eli. "I thought I'd never see you in a tux."

"I do have _some_ class, dude."

"I can see that; I just never thought I'd live to see the day."

Eli rolled his eyes at Adam's remark as Clare held his arm.

"Be nice, boys," she advised them before they all started to talk about nothing in particular, but enough to keep up a conversation going until they were allowed inside.

At exactly six o'clock, the doors of the hotel opened, allowing the students to enter at long last. As soon as the students noticed that they were welcomed in, they began to shuffle past each other and move towards the door.

"Shall we?" Adam asked, offering his arm to Alli.

"Yes, we shall," she agreed, wrapping her arm through his.

"Come on, you two," Adam said to the others.

Before the couple could take a step, however, Adam and Alli began moving towards the entrance, obviously enthusiastic about being each other's date.

"Congratulations, Miss Edwards, you are now a matchmaker," Eli kidded.

Clare chuckled as they moved to keep up with their friends. They caught them and the four of them entered the hotel and they followed the group of people who were heading towards the ballroom.

When they entered, they saw that the planning committee had really outdone themselves. The room was fully decorated with tables covered in white table cloths, white balloons on the ceiling, and string lights glowing along the walls. In the center of each of the round tables was a centerpiece of white and blue silk flowers; and, sitting on the tables, were glasses, plates, silverware, and napkins for their food.

None of the quartet wanted to get an upset stomach from getting too full and then get sick from dancing too much, so they didn't plan on eating much. Food soon came and they enjoyed it while making small talk; once again, there was not one general topic of conversation and they merely discussed whatever came to their heads. They ate and, before long, they knew they had reached their limit and decided to stop.

Assuming that people were ready for the party to truly begin, they observed the bunches of people abandoning their tables to dance to the upbeat song that was playing. Eli and Clare took notice how Alli kept looking over her shoulder at the crowds and they both knew that she was hoping Adam would ask her to dance. Eli understood why Adam wasn't asking; other than the bowling date back in December, he had not been on a date with anyone since Fiona, so it made sense for him to be apprehensive. Clare saw this as well, but she believed that he just needed a bit of confidence and then he would no longer be nervous about asking Alli for a dance.

She reached behind Eli and tapped Alli on the shoulder; after feeling someone touching her shoulder, Alli craned her neck to look around Eli to see Clare.

"Ask him," she mouthed to her friend.

"What?" Alli asked silently.

"Ask . . . Adam . . . to . . . dance," she explained in silence, making her lips easier to read by moving them slower.

Alli rolled her lips before turning to Adam, who was staring at his empty plate. Clearly nervous, but trying not to show it, she faced him and put a hand on his arm before quickly retracting it; he felt her touch and turned his head to face her.

"Um . . . do you want to dance?" she invited.

"Yeah," Adam accepted with a grin.

The two of them stood up and joined the dancing crowd, smiling all the while. The other two remained at their table, watching how comfortable and confident the couple was as they danced. Eli was glad that Clare arranged for Adam and Alli to come here together; it was a relief knowing that his best friend would have a kind date for prom and that he would not feel like a third wheel. Everyone was content with the night thus far and that was important to him, considering that the teenage days were dwindling away.

"Do you think they'll start liking each other by the end of the night?" Eli inquired of Clare.

"I can't say," she said. "Alli's carefree and happy, which he really likes in a girl; and Adam's funny, kind, sweet, smart, and considerate, which is what Alli's been looking for in her perfect guy."

"I'd say it's a possibility that one of them may fall for the other."

"It's possible," she agreed.

"And they're finally dancing, so it's a start," Eli said.

"Do you think they'll dance on a slow song?"

"We'll just have to wait and see."

Deciding to not spy on their friends, Eli and Clare turned back around in their seats.

"Remember our first dance?"

"Yeah," Eli answered, grinning at the memory. "I was so scared to dance with you at first."

"You, Eli Goldsworthy, were afraid to dance?" she asked, disbelieved.

"As shocking as it sounds, yes," he admitted.

"Why?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "We'd only been dating a few months and I didn't want to make a fool of myself."

She smiled, finding it amazing that he felt comfortable telling her this now when he kept it secret a year ago; she slid her hand over his and held it.

"Well, if it helps, you weren't the only one who was scared," she confessed. "I didn't want you to think I had two left feet."

"They seemed fine to me then," Eli chuckled, thinking that Clare was a great dancer even though they had only danced together a few times. "And I'm pretty sure that they still do."

"I'll guess you'll have to find out then."

"And I will," he smirked.

Ironically, the lights suddenly dimmed down a bit more as a slow song started playing through the room. Most of the couples came together to dance with their date; even Alli and Adam, although a bit shy about it at first, held on to each other and began to move to the song. After the song played for a matter of seconds, Eli stood up from the table and turned to Clare.

"Madam Edwards?" he endeavored as he held out his hand to her.

She grinned at him before accepting his hand; he led her to the dance floor before putting his hands on her waist. Smiling at him, she shook her head and slid his hands down and around until they were locked on the small of her back.

"It's prom, Goldsworthy," she indicated. She secured her hands around his waist and held him against her body. He smiled at her and put his head against hers; they gazed at each other's eyes and enjoyed their first dance of the night.

When most have their first dance, it is very awkward. Do you speak? If you do, what would you say? Where do you look? Is staring at your partner's eyes too weird? Those questions plagued Eli and Clare when they had their first slow dance over a year ago, but now it was complete harmony. Their foreheads touched, their eyes locked together as they shone with joy and love; she grinned and danced with him some more, remaining focus on his orbs as they moved to the song. As the second verse came along, Clare noticed that Eli had removed his head from hers and his eyes were roaming over her body as his small smile grew across his face.

"What?" she asked, seeing the way he was grinning.

"You're beautiful," he said bluntly.

"Shut up," she chortled, blushing and dipping her head down slightly.

"Seriously, you're the most beautiful person in the world."

Clare shook her head, still not believing him despite his retort.

"Now I know you're lying."

"Am not," he riposted; Eli was not sure whether she was being modest or if she was insecure because of burns on her arm, but he did mean it when he told her what his mind had been screaming since he saw her at her house.

Time and again, Eli had told Clare that she was beautiful and, every time, Clare always blushed. Like most people, she doubted the fairness of her appearance, but this boy did not and that was enough for her to feel a bit more confident with herself. However, every day she was surrounded by girls who had that "it" factor and she knew that the university Eli was going to attend was probably going to crawling with them; the thought was unsettling, but she trusted Eli and all she could do was hope that he would not become attracted to them in anyway.

"Promise me something?"

"Anything," he agreed.

"There are probably going to be a lot of good-looking girls in Ottawa, and I won't blame you for noticing, but don't get too distracted."

Eli leaned in until his lips were in close proximity with her ear.

"Why should I look at them when I have you?"

Her face began to burn, cheeks reddening more and more as her fears faded into nothing but thoughts that she felt stupid for considering.

"You always know how to make me speechless, you know that?" she said, continuing to look at the ground between their feet.

"It's a talent that I've been blessed with," he sighed cockily before he returned his tone back to its sincere tone. "I'm just glad I can still make you smile even though it's been nearly a year and a half."

"Whoa . . . it has been nearly and a half, hasn't it?" she grinned. She could not believe that she had been dedicated to this one guy for so long and he had been able to put up with her for just the same amount of time. "How have you not grown sick of me?"

"What can I say? I guess I can't resist you," he smiled before planting a kiss on her cheek. She grinned at his lips before she rested her head against his again and gently touched the tip of her nose to his. They were happily silent as they continued swaying and moving to the rhythm of the music, embedding it in their memories.

Once the song ended, another one started playing again; this one possessed a faster tempo and it was not appropriate for slow dancing; deciding to stay on the floor a bit longer, the couple began dancing to it. Lost in the vibe of the music, they soon met up with Alli and Adam in the middle of the dance floor. Evidently, the two of them danced during the slow song and, once they started getting into it, any weirdness evaporated. Having the feeling that their date would be a success, Clare continued to dance with a smile on her face; the rest of them joined her and began moving aimlessly to the music. Just for the fun of it, there were a couple of moments when Adam danced with Clare and Eli danced with Alli, but only on the party songs; and, a few times, the boys would go crazy and their dates found it quite entertaining.

"You're just jealous of our skills," Adam accused kiddingly as the girls laughed.

"What skills?" Clare retorted as she giggled.

"_These_ skills," he stated as he and Eli continued dancing wilder than ever.

"Yeah, that's it," Alli said with light sarcasm as they watched them continue to move. "We are just _so_ envious of your awesomeness."

The boys eventually climbed down from their high and began dancing normal again; the four of them were moving their bodies and legs to the music, enjoying the first half hour of the dance. The fifth song was about to a close; Alli, Adam, and Eli were still full of energy, but Clare was starting to get exhausted from not resting for thirty minutes. When the song ended, her date took her hand and they went back to their table while Alli and Adam stayed on the dance floor. Clare slid off her shoes, relieved that she could take them off for a minute or two . . . maybe three.

"My feet are killing me," she stated, glad that her feet were free from the heels.

"Just stay off them for a while," he instructed her.

"I intend to," she said, the pain in her feet becoming relieved as they touched the cold ceramic floor.

"They seem to be having a good time," Eli mentioned, seeing Adam and Alli continuing dance.

"Yeah," Clare observed. "What about you? Are you having a good time?"

He pecked her lips, not even needing to consider his response.

"The best," he answered, earning a smile from his girlfriend.

They turned all the way around and Clare picked up her cup of water; she took a sip to rehydrate and Eli marveled at her the whole time. Even though the burns stood out slightly on her arm, he still saw her as flawless. He still could not grasp the idea that Clare could be dead right now if she did not come out of her coma; he was thankful she was there right here, but, at the same time, it seemed too good to be true. He put his hands on the upper portion of her exposed back. Surprised at his touch, Clare turned to face him and noticed his eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded, his fingers playing with the end of her hair. "I'm just glad you're here."

She grinned and took the hand on her back, brought it to the table, and continued to hold it.

"Where else would I be?"

"The hospital . . . worse . . ."

Clare then saw that Eli was grateful that she was no longer unconscious due to the near-death experience she went through not long ago; she scooted her chair closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I wouldn't miss my future husband's graduation or prom."

"If you weren't here, I'd miss them as well."

"Don't say that," she said.

"I would, though; I'd be too upset."

She did not know how to feel; she was flattered that he would actually feel so affected if she died, but she didn't want him to be depressed because of it. She turned her head, kissed his cheek, and rested her head back in its original position.

"I'm here now," Clare eased him. "I'm not gone or going anywhere."

She wasn't going anywhere _today_, but would she tomorrow? Would she the day after that? What about years from now? Would she still be here? Would she still be living? Or would she leave him here all alone to deal with heartache, confusion, and devastation?

Ever since Clare woke up, Eli had these thoughts in his head and, no matter how many times he tried, he could not get rid of them. The "what ifs" were stalking him like paparazzi to a celebrity and they would not leave him alone. There were times when he could put them on the backburner, but not when he was still trying to not fret about the upcoming trial or Clare's safety; he promised her that he would not worry about her, but he that was probably not going to happen until Kate was found guilty . . . _if _she was found guilty.

But, whether the jury voted in their favor or not, Clare would die eventually; it was a fact of life. It may not happen soon, but it was going to happen and he did not know how he would handle it when she eventually did leave this world.

"Eli, are you okay?" her voice echoed in his head.

He came out of his trance and turned to Clare, who was still resting her head on his shoulder. Once again, he was faced with the scenario of keeping quiet and keeping her happy or tell her what was on his mind and possibly end up ruining the rest of prom. The decision was easy to make, but it made him feel guilty because he had always wanted to be honest with Clare. He would tell her eventually – keeping it quiet wasn't an option – but he did not want to bring it up here . . . not tonight . . .

"Eli?" she asked again, removing her head from his shoulder.

"I'm fine," he lied.

"Really?" she said. "You're acting a bit distant."

Nothing came from his mouth and Clare knew instantly that something was running around in his head.

"Baby, you know you can talk to me."

Eli shook his head.

"It's prom, Clare."

"We still have another three and a half hours until it's over."

He did not want to waste a second of this night, therefore he tried to kick these emotions and fears to the side so they could enjoy it. The more he tried to suppress them, however, the worse he began to feel.

"I've just . . . been thinking . . .," he eventually voiced.

A horrible sinking feeling fell into Clare's heart that made her feel cold.

"About?" she queried, not sure if this was something wanted to hear or not.

"Nothing," he said, determined to not let this night go down a bad road.

"If you're –."

"It's nothing, Clare. Can we just drop it?" he snapped as he stared at the center of the table.

She was surprised by his harsh tone; minutes ago they were smiling and talking about how much fun they were having, but now it was completely different and it was a bit scary that something was bothering him enough to change his mood so drastically. Wanting to soothe Eli's thoughts so they could get back to the way they were ten minutes before, she held his hand even tighter.

"Eli, you're starting to worry me. _Please_ tell me what's wrong."

Although he did not want to risk spoiling the rest of their date, he also did not want to make her worried about anything; if he was making her feel that way, he knew that it would stalk her for the rest of the night, therefore making it less enjoyable for her and that was not what he wanted. Feeling as though he had be forced into a corner with only one way out, he averted his eyes from the centerpiece and faced Clare.

"Can we talk outside?"

She nodded and slid her shoes back on before the two of them stood up on their feet; he took her hand and they left the ballroom. They moved by a few couples who were in the corridors kissing, dancing, and holding each other before locating the exit.

In a matter of seconds, they were greeted by the cool May air and they moved to the sidewalk so they would not be blocking anyone's way if people chose to enter or leave. They stood next to a bench, relieved that no one else was out there so their conversation would remain confidential. He turned to Clare, who was becoming more and more worrisome by the second, before releasing her hand; he was not really sure what he was going to say and that caused him to remain silent for a minute.

"What's on your mind?" she asked him caringly.

Eli let out a breath of air as he gazed at his shoes, wishing that they could do this at a different time; this was supposed to be a special night and he was wrecking it because he could not bottle up his emotions for a couple of hours. Annoyed with himself, he began to organize his thoughts so he could explain them to Clare without making it complicated; once his thoughts were clearly composed, he faced his girlfriend again, her eyes screaming with concern.

"You almost died . . . if you did, I wouldn't know what to do. I mean, I honestly believe that you are the only one I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life, but if I lost you . . . would you want me to move on? Would you be mad if I did? I asked myself the same thing when Julia died, but I talked to her parents and my parents about it and they told me that she would want me to find someone else since we both knew that we weren't going to last forever. With you, it's different; I'm not sure if I would want to move on and everything."

"Eli, I'm not dead; I'm right here."

She was not understanding what he was trying to say and that meant he would have to go in deeper, but he was afraid that he would break if he did; this subject was very tough for him and he was hoping that they would not to discuss it here and now, but it was clearly the only way for his head to be clear for the rest of the night. Eli then sat down on a bench and Clare sat next to him. She tried to meet his eyes, but they were glued to concrete in front of him.

"But what if we get married and something happens to one of us? And what if we have kids and the possibility of stepparents comes along? What happens then? It's not like our other problems when we'll be able to talk everything out when it happens because one of us won't be around. It's scary to think about, but it could happen."

He took a breath and rubbed his eyes so no tears would come. As he folded his hands together at the edge of his knees, he gazed at the sidewalk in front of him, trying not to become too overwhelmed.

"I-I don't know what you would want me to do."

Clare then took his hands and brought them towards her, giving Eli no choice but to turn around and look at her. He hesitantly made his eyes meet hers, unsure how she was going to react; convincing himself that she wasn't angry because the way she was holding his hands, forced his head up to become acquainted with her eyes . . . and he saw nothing by kindness.

"If anything like that happens and I do die, I would want you to be happy. If you think you're ready to find someone else and if you want to, then do it."

"But I don't think I would be as happy with someone else as I am with you and that won't be fair on anyone."

"You don't know that."

"But, _if_ that happens, would you want me to find someone who could make me as happy as you do? Do you want me to find a person who could mean everything to me like you did until I met this other person? I don't want to find someone like that because you're everything to me, but . . . what if?"

Clare did not have the slightest clue that this issue was bothering Eli so much and it pained her to see him so confused as well as terrified. She wasn't going to hold it against him for thinking these thoughts, because this was a talk they would need to have eventually; they were going to vow "till death do us part" one day, but who knew when death would come? They had no choice but to have this conversation, whether or not it would be necessary to enforce their decisions.

Wanting to give him some comfort, she released one of his hands and began rubbing her palm and fingers up and down his upper arm.

"If you do find someone, she's going to be one lucky lady," she said, trying to brighten the situation; Eli, however, was still remaining stiff, wanting answers.

"I don't want to feel like I'm betraying you or anyone if it happens, but . . ."

"Eli, if find someone, you're happy with her, and as long as I always have a special place in your heart, I would be pleased if you found her."

"Would you be mad if I chose to not move on?" he asked, having a feeling that this was the option he would want to go with if he had to make the choice.

"All I ask is for you to be happy and remember me; whether you move on or not is your call."

Eli took a breath; it figured she would be the unselfish one in this situation. He wanted nothing more but to feel the same way about her as she felt about him, but he couldn't.

"You're making it sound so simple."

"But it's going to be hard to live through," she stated. "And . . . the idea of you being with someone else is a bit depressing, but that's because I'm here with you right now. If I'm gone, then I would want you to be happy."

"But . . . the thing is . . . I'm not sure if I would want you to move on even I am dead and I know that's a horrible thing to say because you shouldn't have to live the rest of your life alone. I'm just worried that . . . that this guy will come along one day and you'll love him more than . . . more than you loved me."

"Eli," she said, holding his both of his hands tighter than before scooting closer to him and brushing one of her legs against his. She met his eyes and saw just how afraid he was. "It is _impossible_ for me love anyone as much as I love you; no one can replace you even if they tried. And, if you don't want me to find anyone else because you don't want to risk that, I won't."

"I want you to happy, though, which is what's making this so hard. I won't be able to say anything against it if I'm dead and you should be with someone, but . . . it's kind of heartbreaking knowing that I would not be the one with you until the end."

Clare wished that she could take all of that away from him, but she knew that there would always be that little piece of him that would haunt him of the idea that they would be apart if when one of them eventually died. He needed to know that no matter who she found after his death, assuming that he went first and she found someone, he would always be the one she would love until the end of time.

"It won't be the same if I do move on," she eased him. "You were my first love, my first husband, the first guy I made love to, and the one guy I would always love no matter what. If I do find someone, the end of my life is all he will have; you have the rest and I don't want anyone else to have that besides you because I can never love someone as much as you even if I tried."

Those words brought Eli solace; time and again she had said that she loved him and that she wanted to be with him forever, but, this time, it had a deeper impact on him. Despite all the drama, arguments, and hard times they had, she still loved him and he saw that death would not change that; if anything, it would preserve it, for he wouldn't be able to mess anything up in their relationship. But, at the same time, he wanted Clare to live her life with someone she loved and, if she chose him to be that person, then he would not turn away from it.

He had been staring into space as he thought, but he felt someone stroking his hand and his eyes soon found Clare's again.

"And," she continued, glad that she caught his attention again, "if nothing happens, by the time we're old, I won't care to look for anyone else because I would've already had the best days of my life with you."

"But if things don't go according to plan and one of us dies young?" he questioned.

"Then . . . all we can do is remember that we would still be together even if that happened and that we will always love each other no matter what."

"So . . . even if I'm dead and you've remarried or something, you'll always love me?" he ensured.

Clare nodded, praying that death won't come take Eli before his time.

"More than anything," she said quietly.

Eli was then silent for a minute more, rethinking their entire conversation, before speaking again.

"Alright . . . if you're ready and you want to try dating again and getting remarried and everything, I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded.

"Only if you promise that you won't start looking around until _after_ I'm dead _if_ I die any time soon."

"Deal," she said as they rested their foreheads against each other's.

"But . . . if I do die, give it a little time before you find someone new, okay?" he requested.

"I'll need it," she answered.

"And don't forget me?"

"I won't, I promise," she said, not imagining how she could forget or move on from the love of her life.

Both equally touched that their significant other cared about them so much, they disunited their foreheads and beamed at each other.

"What about stepparents?" he asked.

This was a question Clare was prepared for, but she hoped that her answer would never have to be put into practice.

"If we want to move on and if we're ready, we go for it, but we take the feelings of our little Goldsworthys into account," she explained with a small grin at the last part; Eli couldn't help but smile at the idea of "little Goldsworthys" as well.

But the idea of having children with Clare was not the only justification for the smile on his lips. They finally had one of the many talks they were going to have over the course of their lives, they had survived it, and they were both satisfied and content with their decision. He knew that all their other compromises wouldn't be this easy to figure out, but at least some wouldn't be as difficult.

"I guess we have a plan."

"Now we just have to hope we don't have to put it into action until we're in our nineties," Eli added.

"By the time we're that old, I might just say 'I'm this old, what's the point finding another man?'" Clare said, making her voice croak as she voiced the potential, elderly her.

Eli laughed at her words.

"Not even if that man's Edward Cullen?" he asked.

"Of course not . . . he's married to someone who's immortal."

Eli playfully rolled his eyes and Clare giggled at his action.

"Are you better now?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "But do me a favor?"

"Sure," she agreed.

"Try not to die anytime soon?"

Clare gave him a small grin before cupping the side of his face and kissing the opposite cheek.

"Don't worry, I won't."

His mind now at ease, Eli grinned at Clare once again before coming to his feet.

"Sorry I killed a bit of prom," he apologized.

"Well, this was something very important we needed to talk about. No harm done. And now we can fully enjoy it since there's nothing else bothering us," she added as she stood up and turned to him. "There's nothing else bothering you, right?"

"Nope," he answered honestly before they took each other in their arms.

"I love you," she said to him.

"I love you too," he replied. "And I promise that I will never stop."

Clare grinned before leaning out and kissing his lips; this was her nonverbal way of telling him that her love for him will never cease. They detached their bodies and continued giving each other tranquil smiles.

"We should probably get back in so Alli and Adam don't think we snuck away to hook up in a supply closet or something," he told her.

Clare laughed.

"We better go break it to them that we didn't."

Smiles remaining on their faces, Eli coiled his arm around Clare's waist as she wrapped her own arm around his back. They walked back towards the hotel, prepared to enjoy the remainder of the night.

* * *

"_You're always hoping that we make it_

_You always want to keep my gaze_

_Well you're the only one I see _

_And that's the one thing that won't change"_

_~"Never Stop" by SafetySuit_

* * *

Thanks J.A.L.L for recommending the song!

Okay, everything from this point forward is pretty much planned! Names of OC's, circumstances, everything is planned! All I have to do now is either write or finish writing it!

New Vlogs: Another "If We Hold On Together" Announcement and (this one you must watch) IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

Check out "My Angel Of Music" by Castaway girl and "Misbehaving" by xXxThe Phantom's RosexXx

Reviews would be lovely, so please review!


	90. Love Me Tender

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Guys, I cried on Saturday night. After 89 chapters, 1 year, 3 weeks, and 1 day, this story got 1,000 REVIEWS! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT! Shout to BlackRabbit550 (AKA, Babo) for being the 1,000th reviewer! I never imagined this much feedback! I am so blessed to have you guys! Thank you for reading the long chapters, the good ones and the bad, and giving your opinion! It means so much to me!

Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Screw the disclaimer that I don't own Degrassi! I just want to hug all of you!

* * *

Chapter Ninety

Love Me Tender

"Where have you two been?" Adam asked as Eli and Clare joined their table again. He and Alli were sitting there, chatting and grinning; Eli and Clare could tell how relaxed they were with each other and they were relieved knowing that their night could only get better from here.

"We just needed some air," Clare explained. "What have you guys been up to?"

"Oh, dancing and talking," Alli said with a smile on her face.

"Cool," Eli smiled.

Another slow song then began to play around the room and more couples either came together on the floor or left their seats to join in on the ballad.

"Our timing is amazing," Eli proclaimed, amazed that he and Clare would arrive just as a song like this began.

"Wanna dance?" Adam offered to Alli.

"Sure," she answered before they stood up and went to the dance floor; clearly, he had gained his confidence and was no longer afraid to ask her to dance.

"Do you want to?" Clare submitted to Eli.

"Let's go," he agreed.

Hours passed them by as the four of them had the most fun they had in a long time. Alli did not miss out on any opportunity to take pictures with her camera; she got many of Eli and Clare, the boys together, Clare and Adam, and they were sure to get a group picture along with a picture of Alli with all of them. They all danced together, fast and slow, and had the time of their lives.

Unfortunately, it was not meant to last . . .

Hours later, Alli and Adam were dancing together to an upbeat melody as Eli and Clare sat down at their table, unaware that prom was going to end within five minutes. They were sitting there, laughing and talking when:

"Last song of the night everyone," the DJ announced. "Make it count."

"Already?" Clare said, unpleasantly surprised that the time went by so fast.

A soft song echoed around the room and couples all around stood up to experience it. A familiar sensation soared through Clare's veins; yesterday was their last day of high school together, that morning was the last time they would both be pupils of Degrassi, and tonight was going to be their last prom dance.

"Here," Eli said, standing up and holding his hand out to her; she accepted it and he led her onto the dance floor for the last dance. They put their arms around each other; Clare laid her head on his shoulder as he nuzzled on hers as they moved to the rhythm of the song. As they danced, Clare tried not to be bombarded by all the thoughts and emotions that entered her mind that morning at graduation; Eli and Adam were no longer high school students and the idea of them leaving in a matter of weeks to go to university made her want to break. She made an attempt to build up a wall in her head so the ideas wouldn't sting her heart, but it was too late.

"What's wrong?" Eli then asked tenderly, feeling her begin to shake in his arms.

"Nothing," she said through an unconvincing voice; she didn't want to ruin the last dance with the depressing thoughts going around in her head, despite her feeble attempts to hide her heartache.

"Clare," he coaxed, knowing something was on her mind. "You can tell me."

He heard her inhale through her nose in an attempt to calm down, but it hardly helped.

"Degrassi isn't going to be the same without you and Adam," she admitted.

"We're not going to be too far."

"I'll still miss you guys. Trent University and Ottawa aren't exactly a few streets away; they're more like three thousand."

"It's not too late for me to apply for TU," he reminded her. "I can stay here."

"No," she said before lifting her head up. Her eyes were sad, but no tears were present. "I want you to go, but . . . I just wish it wasn't so far away."

"Me too," he said. "But we have a whole summer together before I go anywhere."

"Let's make it count."

"We will. And if you ever change your mind and ask me to stay here, I'll do it."

"Don't count on me saying that anytime soon," she told him with a saddened grin, wanting him to get his education at the University of Ottawa.

"Okay, but the offer is going to stay open."

Even though she would be devastated that they would have to say goodbye when he _did _leave, she wanted him to experience this; he deserved to go to this university, especially since he had worked really hard to get in to it and he had been wanting to go there for some time.

"But, if I accept that offer and you go to university here, I'll have to rethink my college plans; I still have my eye of Ottawa."

"You know you don't have to apply there if you don't want to."

"I know," she said. "But, like I told you when you first got accepted, it's an option . . . but you being there is an added bonus."

He smirked at her honesty and held her tighter so their bodies were touching.

"If I go –."

"_When_ you go," she corrected.

"When I go," he rephrased, "I promise to call, text, email, everything."

"And you'll come back to visit me?" she hoped.

"Are you kidding?" Eli said. "Do you really expect me to go too long without seeing your pretty face?"

Not for the first – or last – time that night, Eli made her face turn as red as an apple in the spring.

"And I'll come to visit you when I can," she promised.

"Good to know," he smiled, pleased that she was willing to journey so much just to come see him. They smiled at each other and continued dancing for a bit before Clare spoke again.

"You know, I'm glad you're going to Ottawa and everything, but it's really going to suck when you leave."

"I'm not going anywhere tonight."

"Prom's practically over, though," she brought to his attention, remembering that this was the last song of the night.

"But you don't have to be home until midnight, Cinderella," he said with a grin; she returned a small smile at his reminder. "Why not spend time together until then?"

"Okay, Prince Charming," she accepted, not even needing to consider her options.

They moved and swayed the song until Clare heard the finale coming.

"Eli," she said.

"Yes?"

"You're a graduate now, right?"

"I am."

"So I guess you can't get in trouble for PDA."

"No, I can't," he smirked, catching on to what she was saying. "And it's not like they're going to give you detention since the last day of school has come and gone."

"Then kiss me."

Eli obliged and sweetly kissed her lips and that is how they remained until the song let out its final note.

()()

They bade Alli and Adam goodnight before going to Morty and beginning to drive; they were listening to the radio as they drove around. They did not want to call it a night yet since there was still an hour to go until Clare's curfew.

"What do you want to do?" she asked.

"Do you mind if we go by Degrassi for a minute?" Eli asked her.

"Sounds fine to me," she said.

Eli drove Morty to Degrassi, wanting to see it again just to absorb the fact that his days there were now complete and it was almost time for him to start his life as a student of the university. Once they arrived, they noticed that everything that was there that morning at graduation had disappeared and it was now back to its original state. Eli parked the car and climbed out, Clare following suit. They gazed at the high school, staring at it through the dark. Clare wrapped her arms around his middle and he rested his head on hers as they kept their eyes focused on Degrassi.

"It's weird knowing that this part of my life is over and I'll be in college in eight weeks," he admitted.

Clare adjusted her head until it was resting on his shoulder, ignoring the small blade that sliced a bit of her heart at those words.

"At least you had some good times and have a lot of memories."

"And, most importantly, I met my best friend and my future wife," he added, sliding his arm around her waist.

Her lips twitched at his touch and words, but the bittersweet realities were still there, poking her brain.

"I can't believe our last Degrassi dance is over," she said, deciding to voice one of her thoughts.

"Who says it's our last? I do plan on taking you to your prom next year."

"You do?" she said, a small smile sneaking onto her face.

"I'm coming to your graduation, so it makes sense if I go to prom with you."

"But you'll be in Ottawa."

"I'm sure I'll be used to driving three hundred miles by then; and it'll be worth it."

The smile continued to stand on her face, overjoyed that tonight would not be their last dance at a prom after all. As pleased as she was, she was still amazed that he would actually travel so far to see her graduation ceremony _and_ senior prom. She hardly doubted Eli's love for her, but, whenever he made notions like this, it made her see how much he really did care for her. Clare lifted her head and her lips met his cheek.

"How did I get so lucky?" she asked rhetorically.

"I could ask myself the same thing."

The unsettling moments of that night soon morphed into nothing but happiness for Clare. They might still be in her mind, but at least she did not have to worry about saying goodbye and such until the end of the summer. Since that was not going to be too far away from this point, she wanted to be with Eli whenever she could until the day he had to travel far away from Toronto.

"So, are we spending every day together until you leave?" she asked, caressing her hand over his side.

"Don't you want some time to yourself?" he asked, remembering the talk they had months ago about him being with her every possible second of the day.

She smiled at his consideration, but did not see the need for it in this instance.

"I'll have time to myself when you're away."

"You'll miss me though, right?"

"Of course," she told him. "Besides, we spent almost every day of summer together last year and we had fun."

"Yeah . . . good times," he reminisced.

"But, since you're leaving in a few weeks, we have to make this one really memorable."

"I couldn't agree more; I say, once the trial and everything is out of the way, we make this one of the best summers in the history of best summers."

"Agreed . . . and . . . I have an idea on how to start it off," she informed him.

"And how's that?" he asked curiously.

She looked around them and saw how the lot was deserted of people other than them before turning back to him.

"Twice now we've tried to do a certain thing in Morty but we've been interrupted," she recalled. "But no one's around, Adam's with Alli, and my parents know where I am, so there shouldn't be any interruptions. I was thinking that we could . . . you know . . ."

Eli immediately caught on to what she was saying and, he had to admit, he was a bit surprised.

"You want us to . . .?"

She nodded sheepishly, knowing he understood; she read his expression and saw how amazed he was by her sudden proposal. However, she also noticed the slight apprehension, which worried her instantly; but she was not going to back down yet.

"I thought you wanted to wait until we were married," he recalled.

"I want us to do it one more time until then since it's prom and everything . . . and I _did _promise you a while ago that we would eventually do it in the back of Morty and I don't think either of us wants to wait six years for that to happen."

Eli stood in place, nothing less than completely surprised. Was she really suggesting that they go to Morty and do _that_? For this one night, was she willing to go back on their promise to wait? And, if so, why the sudden change of heart?

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah," she answered. "But . . . do you want to?"

Eli gazed at her, still amazed that she wanted to do this; he was so shocked that he could not find his voice. But, in Clare's eyes, not speaking was a bad sign; her first thought was that he was going to turn her away. She didn't want to go through that, especially on this night that she wanted to end in magic, not hurt feelings.

"Never mind," she said, her face quickly changing color from humiliation and disappointment. "Forget I brought it up."

She unwrapped her arms from his body and turned away, trying not to stop the tears of embarrassment from coming towards her eyes; she took a few breaths, hoping that Eli was not thinking negatively of her because of her behavior.

Eli knew Clare well enough to know that this was how she felt when she was put in this position and he instantaneously felt guilty for not speaking when she asked. Wanting to put her mind at ease, he moved behind her and looped his arms around her middle; he saw the blotches of red that still resided on her cheeks as she kept breathing. Hoping it would soothe her, he gently kissed her jaw.

"I-I'm sorry," she said after taking another breath. "I really thought –."

"I should've answered," he said, not seeing her need to apologize. "I just . . . I did not expect this."

"I wanted it to be a surprise," she muttered, still thinking that he was going to turn her down at any second.

"Mission accomplished," he congratulated; Clare was in such a whirlwind of emotion, however, that she was unsure if he was being sarcastic or if he was trying to make her feel better.

"Yes or no, Eli?" she then demanded, not wanting to wait much longer.

She heard him take a breath and that automatically made her feel uneasy; she stood there while he mulled some thoughts over in his head. He unwound his arms from her and she turned to face him; he looked at her for a bit, then at the ground, and then at her again.

"I don't have any protection," he told her.

Clare's heart skipped a joyful beat; it may not have been a direct answer, but he was implying something, so she could not help but get some of her confidence back. Then again, maybe this was a reason to turn down her offer; not wanting to become disheartened, she shoved that idea out of her head.

"W-Well . . ." she began before digging into her purse, which had been resting on her shoulder; seconds later, she pulled out a small box and handed it to Eli, who was very surprised when he saw that he was now holding condoms.

"Whoa," he said quietly and unintentionally.

"I was going to stay on the pill just so we could do it on prom night," Clare explained hurriedly. "But I ended up in hospital and I have to be on them consistently for a month before I know that we'll be safe and it's barely been two weeks; but I still want us to do it one more time before we get married so it can hold us over."

"And so you bought condoms?"

"Yeah," she said, her face gaining many hues of red and pink. She could not really read Eli's expression, but she could see that he was astonished. Was it too much? Was he going to reject her? She did not know, but the uncertainty was making her anxious.

"Are you okay?" he asked, seeing her red face.

"Y-Yeah," she stammered. "I just . . . I never bought . . . and I did . . . and . . ."

Clare's cheeks turned redder and redder with every phrase the stuttered. The way she was talking and how she could not find a way to hold her tongue didn't help her face's color change. She finally stopped speaking and avoided Eli's eye by looking at the ground.

Sensing the discomfort she had, he gently slid some hair behind her ear.

"You never have to be embarrassed around me, remember?" he reassured her, attempting to look into her eyes.

"I know," she replied quietly as she turned her eyes to a tree in the distance. "This is just a bit awkward."

"Well, I know how we can put that awkward moment behind us," he advised before sliding his arms around her waist.

At his touch, Clare's eyes snapped back to Eli and her discomfort melted into pleasure, hoping that he was not just holding her this way for comfort, but to give her a signal.

"So . . . do you want us to?"

"Well . . . I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping we'd do it one more time," he confessed.

As soon as those words reached her brain, she felt a grin come to her face while her heart began pumping the blood through her veins.

"Is that a yes then?"

He gently put his lips to hers, kissing them passionately yet virtuously.

"I believe Morty is expecting us," he whispered to her, pulling his lips away by only a centimeter.

Beaming, Clare took his free hand and led him to the hearse, feeling herself becoming slightly aroused. They raced over there as fast as they could, wanting to experience these kinds of intense emotions one last time until they shared a surname. Once they arrived at the car, Eli released her hand and opened the door that led to the back.

"After you," he obliged, gesturing to the inside. Grinning at him as the nerves began to go around in her stomach, Clare climbed the vehicle. Seconds later, Eli was back there with her and he shut the door behind them.

"So . . ." she said, as he put down the box of condoms. She felt the hearse grow warmer and she realized that she didn't know where to go from here; the last couple of times she and Eli came back here was when they were determined to have sex since they were still living in the bliss of their first time; now, however, Clare wasn't sure what to expect since this was the second night she would spend making love to Eli.

"Are you okay?" Eli asked as he slid off his shoes.

"Yeah," Clare said as she took off her necklace and set it to the side. "Just a bit . . ."

"Nervous?" he guessed.

"Kinda," she admitted, her face going pink. "You know, first time in months and all."

Eli smirked before sliding next to her. He gently cupped the side of her face with his hand and put a gentle, chaste kiss on her lips.

"If you want, we can just do that," he told her as he pulled away.

"No," she said. "I want us to. It's just my annoying nerves."

Eli, once again, smirked before kissing her for the second time. He gently eased her onto her back, but remained on the side and didn't climb onto her. Once she was comfortable, he softly put his forehead against hers and released her lips.

"I love your annoying nerves," he whispered to her.

"Why?" she asked, not believing him.

"Because I love everything about you; the good and bad."

Clare smiled at his words, facing turning pinker and pinker as he did.

"Sometimes I don't understand the way your mind works," she admitted.

"That's what makes it interesting," he smirked prior to kissing her again.

He lingered at her lips for a couple of seconds before removing them and sitting next to her; Eli carefully slid her shoes off as they exchanged warm smiles.

"You're sure about this?" he asked, putting her shoes to the side and hovering over top of her again.

"I got condoms, didn't I? And I'm in the back of your hearse?"

"_Our_ hearse," he corrected. "What's mine is yours."'

She smiled at him before kissing his jaw and unbuttoning the jacket of his tuxedo and hastily pulling it off him.

"Then I guess it's safe to say that I'm yours and you're mine?" she assumed, retracting her lips from his once his jacket was discarded.

"Indeed," he said before he sat up and began sliding off her corsage. "I really hope there are no interruptions this time."

"That makes two of us," she agreed as she began to undo his bowtie as he lingered over her again. Not wanting to waste a single second, she pulled the bowtie away from his body, put her left hand on the back of his neck, and smashed her lips to his.

"Wait," he said, pulling away.

"What is it?" she asked, hoping that they did not get this far just to stop before anything happened.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"W-What do you mean?" she questioned, afraid of what he was going to say.

"Remember that you were in the hospital only two weeks ago and that you got all that smoke in your lungs."

That was all he was concerned about? It wasn't anything else? It wasn't because he felt uncomfortable making love to her?

"That's it?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "I don't want you to start having trouble breathing or anything."

Feeling relieved that this was only this minor detail that was holding him back, Clare smiled at his concern.

"The doctors said I'm fine when I went in for a checkup a couple of days ago," she assured him. "My breathing is fine and I'm completely healthy."

"Really?" he asked, relief washing over him.

"M-hmm," she answered. "The only thing that is not back to normal is my arm."

"So you're completely fine?"

"Yes," she appeased him. "I even rode my bike out yesterday and I didn't cough or anything."

Eli, feeling more certain about doing this knowing he was not putting her health in jeopardy, smiled down at her and they both felt the mood return to them.

"Well, in that case . . ."

He cupped the side of her neck and began kissing her angelic lips. She smiled when he pulled away, happy that they were going to do this; and, by the look in his eyes, Clare could sense that he was very enthused about this as well.

"Do you want us to take this slow again?" he asked, recalling how she didn't want to go straight into the sex last time.

"Not too slow," she answered.

"Alright, that can be easily arranged," he accepted as he kissed her jaw. "Tell me if I'm going too fast."

"I trust you," were the only three words she had to say.

He put his lips back to hers, fulfilling his promise to keep this slow and steady until they were both ready for things to heat up between them. Their kisses were becoming extremely heavy and heated as time went by; their lips began to swell because of all the moving they were doing, but they did not mind at all. They kissed nonstop for at least three minutes when Eli took the first step in taking this further.

He slid his hand under the skirt of her dress and onto the warm, smooth flesh of her left leg. He felt goose bumps form on her limb, but it was the good kind, so she did not protest. She smiled before pulling away from the kiss so she could concentrate on unbuttoning his shirt; soon, the shirt was separated down the center and Clare was able to take it off him. Before she had a chance to admire his body, his lips were against hers and they were kissing passionately again, the mood increasing every second.

He had to remove his hand from her leg to strip off his shirt, and therefore he had to return it to Clare's skin. She felt the chilling metal of the bracelet she gave him brush against her as he drifted his hand onto her thigh. She moaned against the kiss, enjoying everything that was happening to her . . . everything Eli was doing to her.

Suddenly, his hand glided up to her hip and she gasped in mild surprise when she felt his index and middle fingers wrapped around the waistline of her panties.

"Too fast?" he asked, hearing the breath she let out.

"No," she answered, keeping her lips by his in determination to continue the kiss. "Go ahead."

Accommodating her wish, Eli continued kissing her as he singlehandedly pulled the article of clothing down her legs. As they met her knees, Eli had to pull away from Clare to complete his mission to discard the garment. While he did this, she took the time to admire his shirtless body for the first time in a bit more than three months; not much had changed, but she was still amazed by his body.

Seconds later, he was on top of Clare again, sweetly kissing her lips. She put her hands on his bare shoulders and held on to them as he fondled her lips. It was not long, however, until he put his lips to her neck and Clare knew that their passion would soon begin.

"Clare," he breathed, while he kissed the crook of her neck.

"Hmm?" she hummed.

"You are so beautiful," he said, rolling over so he was on his back and she was on his body. He returned to the side of her neck and kissed it repeatedly.

"You've said that a lot tonight," she reminded him, melting when she felt his lips on her.

He then moved his hands to the back of her dress and found the zipper.

"And I'm probably going to say it a million more times over the rest of our lives," he informed her as he pulled the zipper down. He used his fingers to gently touch her bare back. Clare felt butterflies form in her stomach, but she did not mind; she breathed pleasantly as Eli kissed her neck and his fingers brushed against her skin. He leaned away from her neck, much to her dismay, but his eyes soon met hers and then the feeling of loss disappeared as quickly as it came.

"May I?" he asked, his index fingers hooking the straps behind her back.

She nodded and Eli put his lips to hers as he slowly began to peel the top of her dress off her torso. Clare slid her arms out of the straps before putting her hands on either side of his neck, making sure to keep her chest against his; she was hoping that he would not change his mind about how she looked when she was completely bare, but she was terrified that there was a chance he did not like what he saw this time around.

Knowing it was better to get the uncertainty out of the way, she gradually pulled her lips away, planted her hands on either side of his head, and pushed herself up a bit to reveal a bit of herself to him. She kept her eyes on him and she noticed his grin when he saw her exposed skin.

"Once again, I must tell you how beautiful you are," he informed her as he kissed her collarbone.

Trying not to blush, she locked her arms around Eli's neck as he moved to her sternum. He could feel her heart beating faster and faster every time he put his lips to her skin while slowly and carefully sliding the dress off her in the process. Once the clothing completely abandoned her body, he grazed his hands up the sides of her legs, over her hips, and finally rested them on her waist.

A bit more confident since Eli was being so gentle and kind, Clare loosened her arms around his neck and sat up a little, therefore giving him more access to her chest. Eli was now leaning up a bit as well, continuing to kiss her torso.

"Eli!" she squealed as his lips suddenly met her breast.

Unsure if that was a cry of pleasure or protest, Eli leaned his lips away from her and met her eyes.

"We can stop if you –."

"No," she said breathlessly. "Do it again."

Surprised yet pleased, Eli obeyed her request and attached his lips to her again. It was not long until they desired to express their love in the most passionate and physical way possible and they knew the time had come for them to make love for the last time until they were married.

"Eli?"

"Yeah?" he breathed, pausing his lips to look up at her.

"Make this time count, okay?"

"I intend to . . ."

()()

Their bodies were free of clothing, so they hid their nudity from the world by covering themselves with a long, black blanket that was in the back of the hearse; they were both panting and attempting to bring their heart rates back to normal. Eli's arm was around Clare's shoulders as her head rested on his chest. He turned to her before planting a long kiss on top of her hair.

"That was amazing," Clare said, gasping for air.

"Yes, you were," he said, ignoring how she rolled her eyes at his statement. "Thanks for letting us do this again."

Clare grinned at him before kissing his cheek.

"Thanks for doing it with me," she said as she placed her head in the crook of his neck. "And you're sure that you're okay with waiting until we're married?"

"More than sure," he promised, locking her eyes with his. "Especially since I now have _plenty_ of memories to hold me over until our wedding night."

Eli saw Clare grinning at him, her eyes shining with love and merriment all the while.

"Our wedding night," she echoed. "I still can't believe you actually want to marry me."

"Why wouldn't I?" he said, raking his fingers through the hair on top of her head. "I can't imagine anyone else becoming my wife."

"I'm sure you could if you tried."

"Well, I actually have tried picturing myself marrying someone else, but I can't; with you, however, it just comes to me."

She beamed at him, her heart wanting to dissolve at his words.

"Eli."

"Yes?"

"You know that was the last time you or anyone else would have sex with Clare Edwards, right? Next time it will be with Clare Goldsworthy."

Instead of responding with a smile, Eli molded his lips to hers.

"I can't wait for that night."

"Don't worry. It's not going to be too long."

"And, hopefully, the wait won't be too bad."

"Even if it is, at least we have each other to get through it."

"Exactly," he agreed. "And it's only six more years; we can beat that."

"And, if our wedding night is anything like tonight, it'll be worth the wait."

Eli smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

"I promise that it'll be _extra_ special."

"I believe that," she said, returning his smile.

He attached his lips to hers for a few seconds before leaning away.

"I love you," he breathed.

"I love you too."

They then lied there, still taking in everything that had happened tonight; Clare closed her eyes and replayed everything in her mind while she held onto Eli while he kept his arm around her.

"I really don't want this night to end," she sighed.

"You know, it's not over yet; we still have some time until I have to take you home."

"And what do you suppose we do until then?" she asked, fluttering her eyes open to look at him.

"Well . . ."

He gently climbed on top of her until she was underneath him. He put his mouth over hers and kissed her passionately while she kissed him back.

"You are a great kisser," she complimented him after kissing him for a minute.

"So are you," he replied before journeying his lips to the corner of her mouth, to her jaw, and to her neck. She expected him to stop when he reached her collarbone, but he didn't. He planted loving endearments on her shoulder and, eventually, went lower.

"Is this okay?" he asked as he removed his lips from her sternum to see the answer in her eyes.

She nodded, wanting to experience all this one last time with Eli while he was still her boyfriend; the next time this would happen would be when he was her husband, after all. She soon felt Eli kiss her breastbone again, moaning against it; the sound and touch made Clare shudder.

"Are you sure you'll be able to resist six more years?" she asked once she was stabilized.

"Will you?" he smirked against her chest.

She chuckled.

"You answer first."

"I'll only resist for six years, but I probably won't be able to restrain myself once we're married."

"Same here," she agreed.

"I'm honored that you find me so irresistible," he said before he moved to her breast and began suckling it. Clare groaned jubilantly and breathed heavily.

"Oh God," she nearly shrieked.

"I love your breasts," he whispered to her.

She blushed furiously, hoping it would disappear before Eli saw it; although he had been her turn pink many times on this night alone, she still did not want him seeing her embarrassed.

"Make the most of them. You probably won't see them for six years."

"Then please excuse the staring and everything," he said, massaging them both as he kissed her neck.

"Since it's you, I will."

Eli began to suck happily on her neck while he continued to hold her breasts. She moaned pleasantly as he handled her body this way; it was unreal that he could be so gentle but made it feel so powerful at the same time.

"Eli," she sighed contently.

"Yes?" he replied, sliding his hands down to her ribs while he kissed the mark he was leaving behind on her skin.

"Be my last?"

Eli smiled at her before kissing her heart.

"I will and you will be mine."

She smiled before taking his face in her hands before she pulled her lips to his.

"I'm in love with you," Clare said.

"I'm in love with you too. And I always will be."

She believed him and she knew that he would never give her a reason to think otherwise.

"Now, if you'll excuse me . . ."

Eli then slid down until he was completely covered by the blanket. Before Clare could say a word, she felt him kissing her diaphragm as his fingertips stroked her waist; she giggled a bit, for she was very ticklish around her stomach. She soon felt his lips journey lower, causing her toes to curl.

"Trying to create a few more of those memories?" she chuckled as he kissed her navel. She felt him smirk against her skin before he began tracing his lips down to her hip.

"I'm trying to make the most of your fantastic body," he explained as he kissed her hipbone, wanting to keep as much as possible locked in his head until she was his bride.

Clare was a bit relieved that Eli wasn't seeing her face now; it was glowing red.

"You have the most amazing legs," he said to her as one of his hands caressed her left leg while he kissed its thigh. His words made Clare's face turn even redder, if that was possible.

"I do not," she protested.

"I beg to differ," he stated before switching over to her other thigh to give it the same treatment. He fell silent as he continued leaving more hickeys on her body like he had done on her neck and torso.

Clare lied there, enjoying every second of this treatment. Once her face returned to its usual paleness, she lifted up the blanket so she could see Eli kissing her body.

"Babe," she said. Eli turned to her, a grin on his face all the while. "Can you join me up here for a second?"

Smiling still, Eli obliged and let his head exit the blanket fortress that surrounded him for the past five minutes. Clare chuckled when she saw that the blanket made his hair gain static which caused a few strands to stand up in a few places. She smoothed her hands over his hair to flatten the strays while they grinned at each other.

"How may I serve you?" he asked while leaning in to kiss her shoulder. His hands roamed to her upper arms while she smiled and breathed as he felt him kiss and touch her.

"My lips could use some company," she informed him.

"Hmm . . . then I guess I should give them some . . ."

He latched his lips to hers to fulfill her need; their mouths fought passionately as Clare's fists clenched in his hair and he slid his hands continuously over her smooth shoulders. The kisses became lighter as time went on and the moment melted from hot and heavy to sweet and loving.

Soon, they relaxed; Clare loosened her fingers and slid them down so her fingertips could gently touch Eli's cheek. As she did, he retracted his lips but kept his face close to hers; they could feel each other's breath on their mouths and tongue while they recovered from the adrenaline rush their intense make-out session had given them.

Eli then wrapped his arms around her and rolled over until her entire body was lying on his. She laid her head on his sternum as he smoothed his hand over the skin between her shoulder blades. She put her hand over his heart and felt it race under her palm; it was speeding, but it was slowly decreasing the longer they lied in place. She consumed the moment she was in and pleased that time was not going by too fast so she could enjoy it. Wanting to savor every second they had left in the back of this hearse, she turned her head so her lips could come in contact with the skin on his torso; he was so warm and she could not help but feel a sense of accomplishment when she felt goose bumps form on his body when her lips made contact.

"Clare," he breathed as she kissed his chest.

"Yes, baby?" she said, stopping to look at him.

He looked at her caressed her shoulder blade.

"I can't wait to marry you."

She smiled at him before moving up to meet his lips.

"I can't wait either."

"And I'll definitely see you come down the aisle on June 14th six years from now?" he asked.

She nodded and pecked his lips again.

"Only if you're at the end of it waiting for me," she compromised.

"Then I guess we'll both be very happy on that day."

"Yes, we will."

They smiled at each other before she nestled her head in the crook of his neck and he began raking his fingers through her hair.

"Your parents said for you to be home by midnight, right?" he asked after lying in the blissful silence for a couple of minutes.

"Yeah," she answered.

Eli reached for his trousers and pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time and saw that it was eleven forty-five. He sighed in disappointment that time was now their enemy.

"Maybe we should get dressed."

Not wanting to agree, Clare climbed off him and they began to collecting their clothes. It was a struggle to get changed in such a small space, considering Morty was not meant to be a changing room; despite the lack of area in the car, neither of them could resist sneaking peeks at each other's bodies before they covered themselves. Eli was putting his bowtie in the breast pocket of his jacket while Clare slid the straps of her dress back onto her shoulders.

"Can you get this for me?" she asked, unable to fasten the zip in the back; she would've got it herself like usual, but she could only do it while standing up and, clearly, that was not a possibility whilst inside the hearse.

Eli got behind her so he was able to grab the zipper of the dress and slowly pulled it up until the dress was clinging to her body again. He then transferred his hand to her shoulder blade and roamed his hand over it before sliding it up to her shoulder.

"You're gorgeous," he whispered to her before he kissed her neck; while he increased the passion on her skin, he glided his hand down her arm. Clare followed the path his hand was taking and saw the slow healing burns again, but they didn't seem as ugly while Eli touched them. "Every single inch of you is perfect," he added so she would not feel insecure about the marks on her arm.

"I could say the same about you."

She felt his lips curl into a lopsided grin against her neck before giving it one last kiss.

"Want to get out of here?" he asked, continuing to caress her arm.

"Want to? No," she said. "Need to? Yes."

"Then we better get you home before your parents start worrying."

"Yeah," she agreed, trying to hide how crestfallen she was that this night was over.

()()

They walked to her front door, his arm around her waist as she kept hers around his. As they reached her door, the unwound themselves from each other and gave each other warm smiles.

"I had an amazing time tonight," she told him. "And I'm glad we . . . you know . . ."

"Me too," he complied with both points.

She grinned at him before taking his face in her hands and kissing his lips.

"Goodnight, Elijah," she smiled.

"Goodnight, Clare," he replied.

"And remember that I'll always love you."

"And I'll love you forever," he said.

She smiled before locking her hands behind his neck and kissing him passionately. He reciprocated the kiss as he held her around the waist, never wanting to let her go. They stayed there for as long as they could before they sensed that the time had come for them to part; the couple ended the kiss, but their eyes met, grins forming on their slightly swollen lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he promised her, remembering that the two of them and Adam and Alli were going to the mall the next day.

"See you then," she agreed before giving him one last kiss on the lips.

Still not wanting to release his hold on her, Eli gradually took his arms from her body and smiled at her. As they both let go of each other's bodies, he slowly began to walk away from her and towards Morty; before he climbed in, however, he looked at Clare, who was looking back at him. They exchanged a final silent goodbye before he got inside and began driving home.

()()

He let himself in the house with his key before closing the door behind him and relocking it, smiling all the while. Very few times in his life had he felt this alive, but this one definitely topped all of them.

Darkness crept about the house, so he assumed that his parents were asleep already; he climbed the stairs and went straight to his room, all the beyond incredible memories from that night going around in his mind. Once he was close enough, he fell backwards onto his bed and stared at the ceiling, his smile never fading. He was still astounded that, once again, he had made love to Clare, but this time it was on _prom night_. And he knew he could wait for six more years to love her like that again; she was waiting for him and he was more than happy to wait for her as long as they would be husband and wife by the time they could rekindle love like that.

He did know how long he let himself swim in his thoughts, but the buzzing of a cell phone came from his pocket and he was brought back to earth. Withdrawing his phone, he saw that he had a text from Clare; already longing to be by her side again, he opened it.

_Thinking of you_, her message read.

He smiled at the message before concocting the best reply.

_I miss you already_

He did not even have to wait a minute after sending his text to receive another message. _Thank you for one of the best nights ever :)_

His heart grew a bit warmer at these words when he decided to write her again.

_No sweetheart, thank YOU_

* * *

"_Love me tender, love me sweet _

_Never let me go_

_You have made my life complete_

_And I love you so"_

_~"Love Me Tender" by Elvis Presley_

* * *

Check out "What is wrong with me?" by ANAHI'Simagnation and "Pretty Things" by hopelessRMTCx3!

Summer spoilers: these will mainly be EClare fluff chapters or friendship chapters! Who doesn't love those?

Oh and if you haven't checked out my Vlog "Important Announcement", you must. It involves me and The Cliffhanger Girl doing something together (that sounded dirty, didn't it?). Ha-ha. Reviews please!


	91. Long Shot

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for your reviews again. I'm glad you guys liked that chapter! It took me forever to get it the way I wanted it! And shout out to AcesNSk8s for a really great review! This chapter is dedicated to Moxxy for always being there for me whenever I hit a bump in the fanfiction road. Okay, a friendship chapter to calm down from the drama (and when I mean "drama", I mean the Eli/Imogen stuff that's going to go down and making me fuel with rage) and to have a break before what's coming next. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but if they get Clare and Jake together again, I will cry!

* * *

Chapter Ninety-One

Long Shot

It was officially the first day of summer vacation. Two whole months of freedom and, since Adam was leaving for Trent University in seven weeks and Eli was leaving for Ottawa in eight, the trio was determined to make every second count. They did not have many official plans and they thought it wise to not make many at this point in time; all of them were working, Clare had to help with plans for her father's wedding, and the boys would have to prepare for university, so they decided that going with the flow would be the best thing to do. However, they were still going through with the plans they made two days ago; once Clare was home from church, she, Eli, Alli, and Adam were all going to the mall to simply hang out and enjoy the independence they had.

They had plans for that night as well; to celebrate their first night of summer vacation, Eli was going to spend the night at Adam's while Clare and Alli had a girl's night. Clare was excited for this, for it had been a long time since she had a sleepover with Alli. She loved being with the guys, but it was not the same as hanging out with her best friend. The second she and Randall were home from church, she went straight up to her room and began packing her bag for the night.

By noon, Adam pulled Han Solo in front of Clare's house and she was set to go. She bade Randall goodbye, grabbed the bag she would be taking to Alli's in company with her purse, and headed outside towards the car. She saw Adam and Eli in the front seats, so she went straight to the back of the Nissan.

"Happy first day of summer!" Adam greeted once Clare was in the vehicle.

"You too," she replied as she buckled her seatbelt.

"And how are you on this fine day, Miss Edwards?" Eli said with his lopsided grin.

"Very well, thank you," she said to match his formality before turning her attention back to Adam. "Alli's house next, right?"

"Right," he nodded.

For a whole ten seconds, the radio and the engine was the only sound until Eli spoke.

"So . . ." he edged, turning to his best friend.

"So . . .?" Adam echoed as they drove en route to Alli's house.

"How was the rest of your night with Alli?"

"Yeah, how was it?" Clare asked, becoming interested in the subject herself; her mind had been so distracted from what she and Eli did last night that she almost forgot that her two best friends went to prom together.

"Guys," he moaned, not really wanting to share the events of the previous evening.

"What? It's a simple question," Eli stated.

"Because I know you two are just going to start reading into it as something more than it was."

"We won't," Clare lied; she remembered how she and Eli theorized last night about her two best friends could start having feelings for each other by the end of the night. It made her wonder if Adam was complaining about their curiosity because their theory was correct and he just did not want to admit it.

Adam had the gut-wrenching feeling that they were not going to let this go until he gave them some information, but he did not really believe it when they said that they would not get any ideas. However, it did sound more believable coming from Clare, so he could not help but consider telling them a little bit. After driving for a couple more seconds, he sighed before surrendering.

"We had a great time," he finally said, only wishing to answer that one question.

"Did you guys do anything after prom?" Clare asked him.

Adam was silent, not really wanting to speak of this subject anymore; unfortunately, a certain person named Eli did not see it that way at all and decided to dig deeper.

"What did you guys do?" he questioned inquisitively.

"Nothing," he answered a bit too quickly to make it believable.

"That means something."

"No, it means nothing."

"Then why are you so jumpy?"

"I'm not jumpy!" Adam snapped. "I'm just trying to find a house and I can't do it with you guy interrogating me!"

"We just want to know if you guys had fun," Clare explained.

"And if anything happened between you and Miss Bhandari."

"Will you guys butt out? I'm not asking you two what you did," he pointed out.

"We danced, went by Degrassi, talked, we were very sweet and affectionate with each other, I dropped her off at home, we lived happily-ever-after, the end. Your turn," Eli told him.

Clare appreciated the fact that Eli intentionally left out what else they did the night before.

"Well, as oddly flattered I am that my love life interests you two, I prefer to keep to keep most of the details to myself."

"Love life?" Clare perked up, wheels turning in her head.

"_Most_ of the details?" Eli repeated, hoping to hear some.

"Okay, guys, we're almost at Alli's and I would really, _really _appreciate it if we _don't_ discuss prom night while she's around."

"Why?" Eli and Clare asked in unison.

"Because it's _our_ business," Adam said pointblank. "Not your business; mine and Alli's."

"Did something bad happen?" Eli asked, not grasping the point Adam was stressing.

"I just want to keep it between me and Alli where it belongs!"

Eli and Clare were equally alarmed by Adam's tone; it was very rare that he would get this angry, so they thought it would be better for them to not ask any more questions at the moment. They kept quiet and none of them said a word until they reached Alli's house. The second they parked, Alli came out of her house with her purse over her shoulder.

"I'm serious, guys," Adam said hurriedly. "Don't say anything about prom night."

Before either of them could speak, Alli climbed into the back next to Clare.

"Hey, guys," she greeted.

"Hey," Clare and Eli replied, but Adam remained silent.

"So, Alli, how are you doing on this fine summer morning?" Eli asked while Adam suddenly felt the desire to slap him for asking her that question.

"I'm good," she answered.

"Great," Eli smiled. "So, let's get this show on the road shall we, Mr. Torres?"

"Gladly," Adam replied, putting the car in gear; he was unable to tell if this was Eli's way of keeping things on the down low or if he was waiting for the perfect opportunity to mention the night before.

Thankfully, neither Eli nor Clare breathed a word about prom on the ride over to the mall. Alli, much to Adam's relief, didn't say anything either. Instead, Eli steered the conversation as far away from the dance as possible.

"So, ladies, what may I inquire is on your agenda this evening?"

"Why would you like to know?" Clare asked as they drove into the mall's parking lot.

"I'm just a naturally curious person," Eli responded innocently.

"Or maybe he's coming up with a master plan to scare you two out of your skins," Adam stated as he parked.

"Well, if I was planning that, you told them, so now they'll be expecting it," he reminded him as they each climbed out of the car.

"But it's not like you would succeed in scaring us anyway," Clare said as they moved towards the mall; she took Eli's hand as Alli walked on Eli's right side while Adam walked on Clare's left. "You know I would get the ultimate revenge on you if you did."

"And _I _do not want to see that," Adam said.

"Are you okay, Alli?" Eli asked while Clare and Adam spoke, noticing that she had not spoken this whole time.

"Yeah," she said as they stepped into the mall.

But Alli's silence continued until this conversation had come to an end and she remained quiet until Eli spoke up to eliminate the lack of sound.

"Seriously, though, what are you girls planning on doing tonight?"

"Oh, what we usually do," Alli explained as they ventured aimlessly around the mall. As she talked, however, Clare noticed that Adam was keeping his head down, focused on the floor.

"And what will that be?"

"Eating ice cream, watching movies, maybe having a pillow fight or two," she listed.

"Sounds like fun," he said.

"So, Adam," Alli began apprehensively; Adam heard her voice and, once his stomach finished its summersault, he looked up at her. "What do you and Eli plan on doing tonight?"

"I don't know," he murmured before his eyes returned to the floor.

Alli, who was hoping for more than a three word response, copied his action and kept looking at her shoes as they walked. This sparked even more curiosity in Eli and Clare, who did not know what to think of this or what to do. Remembering their promise to Adam, neither of them asked questions about what was going on between their two friends; instead, they started new conversations and the others joined in to a certain extent. Alli and Adam did not talk to each other directly, but the atmosphere did become less awkward as time when on.

For at least four hours, the quartet journeyed through the mall, looking at stores, spending all their change at photo booths, buying things, and eating at the food courts. Afterwards, they decided to go see a movie; yet again, Alli and Adam let Clare and Eli be in the middle. The fact that the two of them were avoiding each other's existence made the couple slightly concerned. Did they get into a fight? Did someone hurt the other's feelings? They had no clue whatsoever, but Clare soon began having the feeling that maybe her idea of them going to prom together was not the smartest move she could've made.

They did exchange a few words every so often, but they did seem slightly uncomfortable when they did. They practically made sure that Eli and Clare were between them the whole day; it was as if they did not want to be in close proximity of each other. There were instances, much to everyone's relief, that the girls would go in one direction in a store or in the snack line and the boys would go another, therefore giving them the opportunity to not hold back their feelings.

Despite the silences and the peculiar behavior of Adam and Alli, it was an enjoyable day; the mall was fun to explore and the four of them enjoyed the movie. By the time six thirty came, Adam pulled Han Solo up to the front of Alli's house; by the time the movie was over, the boys could see how excited the girls were for their sleepover, so they decided to call it a day.

"Alright, we'll see you guys around," Alli said as she and Clare grabbed their bags of everything they bought.

"You girls have a good night," Adam said.

"We will," Clare said as they climbed out of the car. "Don't cause too much havoc."

"What else are we supposed to do then?" Eli asked through the open window as she closed the back door.

She laughed before she and Alli walked to the passenger side window.

"You'll figure it out," Clare said before she gave Eli a peck on the lips. "Love you."

"Love you too," he replied.

"See you, Adam," she said.

"Bye," he said to the girls before they began moving toward the Bhandari's house. Clare looked over her shoulder to give the boys one final wave before they drove away to go to Adam's house.

"What a day," Alli sighed as she and Clare entered her room seconds later.

"I think it's a good kickoff to summer vacation, though," Clare said as they put down their bags and took off their shoes.

"True, and now girl's night can officially begin," she declared.

"No boys allowed," Clare added, happy that it would just be her and Alli.

Both of the girls changed into their pajamas so their sleepover could officially start; Alli wore a turquoise shirt and sweatpants while Clare put on a purple tank top and white pajama shorts that went halfway down her thighs. Once they were both decent, Alli put her clothes in the hamper, turned around, and saw Clare folding her jeans; her jaw dropped when she saw marks on Clare's neck, shoulders, collarbones, and chest.

"Clare Edwards, did you and Eli do something last night?" she questioned in amazement.

"W-What?" she stammered.

"I see things on your body that look _a lot _like hickeys."

Clare then looked down at herself and saw what Alli was referring to immediately. Feeling stupid for not grabbing a better set of sleepwear before she left her house, her face turned red as she put her remaining clothes in her bag.

"So, did you and Eli . . . you know . . .?"

Clare did not answer as she zipped up her bag and transferred it to the ground.

"You did!" Alli squealed.

"It's the last time until we get married," Clare defended.

"But you still _did_ _it_," she mentioned. "Where? Your house? His house? One of the rooms in the hotel?"

Clare rolled her lips, turned red, looked down, and rubbed the back of her neck before answering.

"His hearse."

"Ooh," Alli said with an impressed grin on her face. "You are such a minx."

Clare rolled her eyes before sitting down on Alli's bed.

"I just . . . wanted us to experience it one last time, you know?"

"Until you're married, right?" her best friend clarified, sitting next to her.

"Of course," she added, seeing that she did not make that point obvious before. She looked down at her thigh and saw one of the hickeys her lover had left behind and she felt her heart turn to stone.

"Are you okay?" Alli asked with concern as Clare's happiness dissolved.

Clare took a breath and turned to Alli, knowing that she was the once of the people she could confide in.

"If I tell you a something, will you promise not to laugh?"

"Promise," she agreed.

Clare bit her bottom lip with a bit of embarrassment and tried to find the right words before speaking.

"I'm . . . missing it already."

"Now, when you mean 'it', I assume you mean –."

"Yes, Alli, I mean _it_."

Alli never thought she would live to see the day when Clare Edwards would say such words. It was very surprising, but, at the same time, she could not blame her since she and Eli had not done anything like that in a while and they were leaving it behind until they were married.

"You don't know what you got till it's gone," Alli sighed.

"Tell me about it," Clare said rhetorically. "I mean, it's the second night we spent doing that and . . . I don't know . . . I liked it . . . _a lot_."

"Then just do it with him while he's still here and do it again whenever he comes back to visit."

"I can't," Clare complained. "If my parents find out about last night, Eli and I are dead; it's too much of a risk for it to happen again until we're married."

"They won't find out if it only happens when you go up to visit him in Ottawa."

"The thing is that he also wants to wait; he wants to respect my parents' wishes and stuff, so we both agreed that prom night would be the last time until the night of June 14th six years from now."

"That's a long wait."

"I know, and I'll survive it and everything, but . . . the waiting is going to be excruciating."

Alli then gave Clare a friendly one-armed hug in comfort.

"It'll be alright, Clare. Besides, just because you can't have sex doesn't mean you guys can't do other things."

"Like what?"

Alli shrugged.

"You guys are probably going to Skype while he's in Ottawa, right?"

"Yeah," Clare answered, having a hunch as to where Alli was going with this.

"Well, that gives you guys a reason to do sexy web chats."

Clare heard of those, but she had never done one herself or seen anything like it, so the idea did not seem very appealing.

"I don't even know how I would do that," she avowed. "And what if I'm talking to him and my mom walks in? She'll kill me."

"Good point . . . but there's more that you guys can do. There's also passionate kissing."

"We do that already."

"I don't mean on the lips; you can kiss his shoulders, chest, or back and he could do the same to you."

Vivid pictures of her lips traveling over Eli's chest quickly zoomed through Clare's mind and she soon found herself wishing that he could be doing it to her right now. She got chills just thinking about it; unfortunately, she also had a huge bubble of disappointment form in her stomach when she realized it was just a fantasy.

Clare wanted it to be more than a figment of her mind so badly, but she knew that she would never have the nerves to tell Eli that she wanted to do that. Even if she did, all she could see was him smirking at her and telling her that her idea was pointless since it would not lead to more. Clare knew that, in reality, Eli would actually accept her idea and even put it into practice, but she did not want to risk the opposite happening. She also did want him to start thinking that she was a floozy or something.

"He's going to think I'm addicted if I do stuff like that to him all the time."

"You kind of are, Clare."

"I am not," she retorted in an attempt to block out some of the images in her head of Eli kissing her flesh with his sensational lips. "I'm just . . ."

"You're addicted to his love," Alli teased in a singsong voice.

Clare restrained a giggle, not wanting to admit that this was a true statement.

"Come on, I think it's time for us to make our special ice cream sundaes," Alli intrigued of her.

Although Clare's hormones were raging with desire for her boyfriend, the sundaes she and Alli always made at their beginning of summer sleepover always made her grin; not only was eating them while watching a movie enjoyable, but she also had fun making them with her best friend. If she had to be honest, it was one of the things she looked forward to every year.

"You know what? I think a sugar fix is _exactly_ what I need."

"Then let's get to it," Alli said.

The two girls got off the bed and began heading towards the door so they could go to the kitchen.

"Wait a sec," Alli interjected before they left the room. She sprinted to her closet and pulled out a red t-shirt before tossing it to Clare. "So my parents don't see that Eli has left his mark."

Smirking a bit, Clare pulled the shirt over her head; the shirt went down to her thighs, therefore covering all love bites Eli left on her skin.

()()

The two girls were in the kitchen to prepare them some ice cream so they could have some food while they watched their traditional movie, _Mean Girls_. They stood at the counter while they surrounded themselves with a tub of vanilla ice cream, sprinkles, caramel, chocolate syrup, and cherries in preparation to concoct a delicious movie treat.

"It's kind of weird to think that Eli and Adam are going to be in university in a couple of months, isn't it?" Alli said as she scooped some ice cream into a bowl.

"Yeah," Clare said distantly; ever since Eli graduated yesterday, she kept worrying about the long-distance relationship they were going to start once he left for Ottawa. She loved Eli and she had faith that they were going to last, but she was really scared at the same time.

"Are you okay?" Alli asked as she poured some chocolate syrup on her ice cream.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," Clare said, putting ice cream into her own bowl. "Just . . . worrying about me and Eli."

"Don't worry," Alli soothed her as she put sprinkles on her dessert. "You two will be just fine."

"I hope so, but . . . college is when you find yourself and . . . what if what he wants after he gets out . . . isn't me?"

"You really think that's gonna happen?" Alli asked, not being able to picture that occurring.

"I don't know; I mean, I don't want it to, but I'm worried that it will," Clare vented, piling caramel on her ice cream.

"Come on, Clare, this is the same Eli who said you had pretty eyes when you first met; the same one who asked you marry him when you were sixteen; the same one who risked his life to save you from a burning building."

"I know, but four years at university could change his mind."

"Hey, I heard a few of those things he said last night at prom; there's no way he's going to change his mind. And, at the mall today, he helped you carry your bags and stuff, remember?"

"Yeah," Clare said, reflecting on how Eli took three of her five shopping bags off her hands.

"_And_ he put his arm around you during the movie."

"All guys do that," she reminded.

"But do all guys agree to stay with their girlfriend when she says no sex for six years?"

Clare had to admit that that was a fair argument on Alli's part; she knew that there were a few decent guys in the world like Eli who would do that, but there were just as many who wouldn't. She knew how fortunate she was to find someone like Eli who was thoughtful and unselfish. She shook her head in disappointment in herself. What was she thinking? Alli was right; this was the same Eli Goldsworthy who was by her side through everything even when she felt like she did not deserve him. Three hundred miles was not going to change that; if anything, it will make them stronger.

"You're right. I'm sorry I've been mopey and stuff," Clare said. "I'm just –."

"Hey, don't worry about it," Alli interrupted as they finished preparing their ice cream. Once their frozen treat was covered in caramel, sprinkles, chocolate, and cherries, they put away the ingredients before heading towards the living room.

"Thanks," Clare said as she sat on the couch and Alli put in the movie.

"No problem. And, remember, if Eli wasn't serious about being with you forever, he wouldn't have taken your –."

"Ixnay," Clare said with a red face, not wanting Alli's parents to hear how Eli took her virginity.

"Sorry. But, trust me, you and Eli are going to make it," she stated as she returned to the couch and began the movie.

Clare smiled, glad that she had a best friend like Alli who was always there and got her back on her feet. She was the person she could talk to when she was worried that Kate was going to tear Eli and her apart, she was there when Kate and Eli kissed, she at her bedside weeks ago, and now she was comforting her in a time of fear. She was definitely blessed to have Alli as her best friend and she would not change that even if she could.

"Alli," she said after the first ten minutes of the movie.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"You know how I said that Eli and I weren't planning our wedding yet?"

"Yeah," she repeated.

"Well, he already promised Adam to be best man, so I guess that gives me the right to dub you as a bridesmaid."

"Really?" Alli smiled, clearly touched by the honor Clare was giving her.

"I would let you be maid of honor, but Darcy called dibs when I told her a few months ago."

"I get it," Alli said, still grinning. "So you're really going to let me be bridesmaid?"

"Bridesmaid Number One to be exact," Clare replied.

Alli blushed slightly, grateful for what Clare had said.

"Thanks, Clare."

"No problem," she said before they turned back to the movie. "Now we just have to wait until your prediction comes true."

"And, if you two start having problems, just call me or Adam and we'll sort you two out."

Clare grinned before a new situation came to her mind. All day, she had thirsted to learn more about what happened after Alli and Adam left prom last night, but Adam wouldn't give. She knew that he would probably tell Eli since they were both guys and he just wanted wait until he knew for a fact that neither Alli nor Clare will hear word. Wondering if Alli would put up a fight like Adam or if she thought whatever happened was not a big deal, Clare decided to give it a try.

"Speaking of Adam, how was the rest of your date with him last night?" she asked curiously.

"Oh . . . um . . . it was . . . great."

"Uh-oh," she said, feeling a negative vibe coming from her friend.

"What uh-oh?" Alli said. "There's no uh-oh."

"If it was a great date, you wouldn't say 'oh . . . um . . . it was . . . great'," Clare explained. "You'd say 'it was great!'"

"It was great," Alli said. "And Adam's a great guy."

"But . . ." Clare coaxed.

"But nothing," she said, her answer coming a bit too quick for Clare's liking. There something strange going on here and she wanted to get to the bottom of it.

"Did anything happen?"

She was mute for a second before saying one saying one single word and holding it out.

"Well . . ."

Clare's interest had now increased.

"Something _did_ happen, didn't it?"

Alli looked back at her ice cream bowl, suddenly making it her mission to mix the remaining sprinkles in with the left over chocolate syrup. If Alli had to be honest, she was glad that Clare wanted to know what happened, considering she seemed to have a better grasp on relationships. At the same time, however, she really wanted to keep this secret; she did not know why, but that one thing that happened last night made everything feel wrong and complicated and she was worried that Adam would find this out if she told Clare. After seeing this factor, she decided to keep her mouth closed.

"I'm not going to say."

But Clare was determined.

"Come on!" she pleaded. "You know how the rest of my night with Eli went; and, since I _did_ set you guys up, I think I deserve a bit of info."

She hated to admit it, but Clare made an excellent point. Everything was opposite right now; it was usually Alli interrogating Clare about her relationships and she encouraged details. Tonight, however, Alli was being reserved about it and Clare was the inquisitive one. Seeing her friend's view, Alli put the bowl to the side and forgot all about the movie and began to tell Clare what happened. Maybe it would be best that Clare knew; then she could give her some advice about what she should do in this situation.

"If I tell you, you can't tell Adam. I don't want him to know that I've told anyone."

"Okay, I won't say anything. So what happened?"

Alli looked over her shoulders and around the room, being cautious that her parents weren't in earshot. Once she was sure that the room was clear, she turned back to Clare and began to reveal what happened between her and Adam.

"We did not exactly feel like calling it a night after the dance, so we got some milkshakes at the Dot, we talked, and he took me home around midnight."

"That's it?" Clare asked, honestly expecting more since both of her friends were acting strange all day.

"Um . . ."

Clare sat up a bit more and watched Alli anxiously, waiting for an answer.

"Maybe there . . . might have been a small . . . moment," she confessed.

"A moment?" she repeated and Alli nodded. "What kind of moment?"

"Um . . . we were driving home from the Dot and we finally reached my house and, being gentleman, he walked me to the door."

Clare had a firm idea as to what happened last night, but she was not going to state her theories until Alli spoke.

"Okay, he walked you to the door and . . .?" she pressed.

"Well . . ."

()()

"You _kissed_ her?" Eli exclaimed.

"That's what I just said," Adam said, getting two cans of root beer out of fridge as his best friend sat on the couch of his basement.

"Kissed her?" he restated. "As in her lips were against yours for a certain period of time?"

"I think that's what the dictionary definition of a kiss is," Adam said, beginning to wish that he had kept his mouth shut; how Eli was actually got this information out of him was a mystery, but now he wished that he was more cautious. Then again, it would've been easier to just tell him upfront; Eli had his ways of figuring things out one way or another.

"So how was it?" Eli asked, glad that Adam's date ended on a good note . . . at least, that's what he assumed.

"It was nice," Adam said, walking back to the couch.

"Nice?" he repeated, unsure of what he meant by that adjective.

"I mean, it wasn't heated or anything and there was no tongue involved, but . . . I liked it," he explained to Eli.

"Hey, a first kiss is a first kiss," he said bluntly.

Adam gave Eli the drink before he collapsed next to him on the couch.

"So, was there any spark or anything?" Eli asked.

He reflected and remembered just how sweet, simple, and remarkably amazing it was. It was his first kiss in a while and he did not expect something so great, but it was.

"I think I felt something . . . something good."

"That's great," Eli said. "That's a good sign."

"But I don't think _she_ felt anything."

"Why do you think that?"

"She _completely_ avoided me today."

"And that's probably because she thinks _you_ didn't feel anything."

"No, she knows I felt something."

"How do you know?"

"I accidentally said 'whoa' when it ended."

"What?"

"I know!"

"Was it like 'WHOA'?" Eli hollered. "Or 'whoa'," he said softly.

"Whoa," he said quietly.

"At least that means she knows that you're not . . . overexcited."

"I guess," Adam shrugged, still not in the brightest mood.

"Okay, okay," Eli said. "What happened after that?"

"I . . . I don't remember; it's all a blur. One second I was kissing her, the next I'm in my car driving down the road saying 'why did you do that, you idiot?'"

Everything made sense now. This explained why Adam didn't want to discuss prom, why he rarely spoke to Alli today, and why they avoided each other's existence. Even though there were some explanations to what occurred today, there were still many unanswered questions.

"What does that mean for you two?"

"I don't know; don't get me wrong, last night was great and she's great, but . . . today was awkward because of the kiss."

Feeling stupid and regretting putting them in this situation, he put his drink on the table and rubbed his eyes.

"Why did I kiss her?"

"That's a good question. Why did you?"

"I don't even know!"

"Is it possible that you like her?" Eli asked. Judging by what he saw last night, he knew that Adam having feelings for this girl was a firm possibility.

"I'm not sure if I like her that way or not; and I don't think she likes me like that."

"Come on! Why wouldn't she? You have all the qualities girls want in a guy; you're funny, kind, sweet, smart, and considerate."

Adam gave him a look, somewhat dumbfounded that _Eli Goldsworthy_ of all people would describe him that way.

"Eli . . .?" Adam said with a mild hint of concern in his voice.

"Clare's words, not mine," he defended himself before Adam got any ideas.

Adam sat there, putting Eli's statements behind him; he was very apprehensive about this, but at the same time he felt like this was a chance he could not pass up; however, there was that loud voice in his head telling him that he should not pursue this.

"I-I can't start having feelings for her."

"Why not?" Eli asked.

"_I_ kissed _her_ first; if I start liking her and she did not want us to kiss, the rejection is gonna hurt like hell."

"Remember, she kissed you back."

"That doesn't mean anything. I mean, you and Kate kissed and that didn't mean anything."

"I didn't kiss her back," he reminded. "Now, did Alli return the kiss or just stand there in shock like I did?"

"She kissed me back," Adam said bluntly. "I know she did, but what if she regrets it."

"Why should she?"

"She dated my brother; things could get weird because of that."

"That's ancient history. Clare even told me that he was cool with it when they talked before graduation."

"Yeah, I know Drew's fine, but what about Alli?"

"Clare told me that she's fine," Eli shrugged.

"Do you get _all_ your information from Clare?"

"Only when it comes to girl stuff," he answered before taking a swig of his root beer. "And plus I can tell."

"Yeah, because you're _such_ an expert on women's signals," Adam said sarcastically, recalling all the times Eli never noticed the signs Kate gave him. He overlooked these words before starting to voice more of his presumptions.

"First she agreed to go to prom with you, then she kissed you, and we all went to the mall today and we had a great time."

"Are you crazy? She hardly talked to me today."

"She's probably just confused because you guys kissed and now she's unsure what you want to do."

"Which is the same reason I didn't talk to her," Adam stated.

"Well, that's the thing that will hold you two back; you can't just expect her to make the first move. In most cases, girls want guys to make the first move, so that's what you got to do."

"Yeah, but what if I do and she rejects me or doesn't want to talk to me because the kiss was so weird?"

"You'll never know until you try," he said simply, putting his drink on the coffee table. "Just text her and see what happens."

"Text her? You really expect me to fix this by texting her?"

"No, but this will reassure her that you aren't avoiding her."

"And what if she's avoiding me?"

"Then she won't text back and then you know that you have problem on your hands."

"You don't call this a problem?" Adam asked, appalled that Eli was thinking that his first round of girl trouble in over a year was not an issue.

"I mean that her avoiding you can be the worst thing that can happen. Text her."

"I don't know; I can't just text her and act like nothing's wrong."

"If it's bothering you that much, talk to her about it at the Dot or something."

"But what if –?"

"Adam, stop worrying about the negative and take a chance."

Adam looked down and reflected on his and Eli's conversation. The list of pros and cons was endless and he could not figure out what he could do about the issue at hand.

"I still don't know."

"Dude, do you like her?" he asked.

"I . . . don't know her that well, but . . . I want to get to know her."

"Then do that; just ask her out for coffee as friends or something and see what that leads to."

"But what if she's not talking to me?"

"You're not going to know anything unless you try talking to her. And isn't making an attempt to make the first move better than sitting around, dwelling on the negative, and having the uncertainty eat at you until you lose your mind?"

Adam did not want to imagine himself sitting alone for a call that could never come when it would be wiser to make it himself; the waiting would be unbearable and he would rather get the answer the hard way than not get one at all.

"I guess."

"And you don't have to do it now; let's just let her have her girl night with Clare and then we'll see if she calls. Besides, you don't go to Trent for another seven weeks; maybe you should see where this goes."

Adam sat there, thinking. It had been a while since he dated anyone and maybe it was now his time for try taking that chance again. He could not live while being afraid of rejection because of his breakup with Fiona; it was a year ago and if there was a time to pick up the pieces, it was now.

"Maybe I should. But I need to think about it."

"Alright," Eli agreed.

"Until then, I shall enjoy kicking your ass at Xbox."

Eli rolled his eyes.

"In your dreams."

* * *

"_My heartbeat beats me senselessly_

_Why's everything got to be so intense with me?_

_I'm trying to handle all this unpredictability"_

_~"Long Shot" by Kelly Clarkson_

* * *

If you have seen my vlog "Important Announcement", you will know that The Cliffhanger Girl and I are doing a fic together! We are planning on publishing it Saturday, April 7th, so keep your eyes out! It'll be on her profile, so it'll be there if you want to check it out. There's Eli and Clare drama . . . and intensity . . . and . . . well, a little something that you'll have to find out for yourself.

Reviews?


	92. Living on a Prayer

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Decided to put up an additional chapter this week, but I'm still updating Friday as well.

Thanks for your reviews. And, Anon, thanks for your criticism; I know that this is an EClare fanfiction, but I want to include some stuff with Adam and Alli merely because there is more to Eli and Clare's lives in this fic than just each other; I will not be putting it solidly in Adam and Alli's point-of-view while they figure stuff out, so, technically, this will not be a Alli/Adam fic. I'm not making excuses; I'm just explaining my reasoning. Thank you and I will heed your advice. I appreciate the fact that you told me to keep writing despite your dislike; and since your criticism was given professionally, I am not hurt, offended, etc. Thanks! :D

Okay guys, I don't know how different the Canadian government is from the US, so this is probably not how it will go there. In fact, I only know a bit about how law and stuff because of my constant viewing of Law and Order: SVU, my sister (crime nut in training), and Google. If not all of it is accurate, I apologize. I researched it, so I'm hoping that it will do. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. But I own a toothbrush, so I guess that's a good thing.

* * *

Chapter Ninety-Two

Living on a Prayer

Unfortunately, the love lives of their friends were soon to become the least of Eli and Clare's concerns. On Tuesday, also known as the 5th of June, while most teenagers were either enjoying the outdoors, relaxing indoors, socializing with their friends, or getting ready to leave on a summer vacation, the couple was going to the courthouse downtown.

The day after tomorrow, June 7th, they were going to trial. They would speak in front of a jury and convince every last juror that Kate Parker was guilty of setting Degrassi on fire and nearly killing a student in the process. Today, they were going to meet their lawyer and prepare themselves for what was to come. Neither of them had to deal with something this major in court; Clare had seen a few bits and pieces of the court system because of her parents' divorce, but never something as big as a criminal trial. They were slightly worried about what could come from the meetings they would be having today and tomorrow with their attorney, Martina Piper. They were frightened that she would only give them bad news by telling them that they had a weak case and that Kate would be back on the streets by this time next week.

Since the two of them were still seventeen at this point, they needed a parent or guardian to accompany them when they met their lawyer. Their fathers had to work and could not take any time off even though they wanted too, so CeCe and Helen were taking Eli and Clare to the courthouse. Everyone in their family and their closest friends were anxious as well; even Adam and Alli set their issues aside so they could only hope for the best possible outcome.

Eli and CeCe were now climbing out of her car; they weren't out for more than a second when they saw Clare, Helen, and Officer Turner – who still agreed to speak on Clare's behalf – standing by a person who they assumed would be their attorney. Martina Piper had long blonde hair, verdant eyes behind square glasses, and a gentle face. Seeing her made this become more real for Eli; this was really going to happen and they could not turn back even if they wanted to.

Eli and CeCe walked up to the additional members of the prosecution, both of their hearts pounding in their chests as they moved closer to the group. Everyone greeted each other with introductions and Eli and CeCe familiarized themselves with Piper, who gave them a gentle smile.

"If you're ready, please follow me," she instructed after shaking CeCe and Eli's hands.

They obeyed and followed her lead into the courthouse; Clare was too concerned about what they were going to discuss that she did not bother absorbing the interior. Seeing how distracted she was, Eli gently took her hand and held on to it as they moved with their group.

Within a matter of minutes, they had come to the door of an office; judging by the name that was painted on a glass pane, it was the office of Martina Piper. She opened the door and gestured inside, allowing her client and witnesses enter first. It was a small, dimly lit room; there were four walls and a single window on the one across from the entrance. The walls were aligned with filing cabinets and shelves of books about law; they could see the color of the sage green walls despite the furniture against them. In front of the window was a small desk and, in front of that, were five chairs.

"Please, take a seat," she said, gesturing to the seats.

Officer Turner sat on the seat farthest to the right and, continuing to his left, CeCe sat next to him and then it was Eli, Clare, and then Helen on the other end. While they took refuge in the chairs, Martina traveled behind her desk, sat behind it, and opened the manila folder that was in her hands.

"Okay, the detectives have already briefed me on the evidence, I have your statements, and I think we have a solid case. The main reason you all are here is so we can be sure that we're all on the same page, to be certain our case can't be messed up, and I need to inform you about certain details of this trial."

No one spoke; all they wanted to know is what kind of lawyer they were going up against, their chances on winning this case, and if Kate would be put away because of this.

"Alright, let's get to it," Piper began when none of the quintet spoke. "Are there any questions before we get started?"

A bit nervous to speak to someone of such high authority, Eli spoke up, Clare squeezing his hand the whole time.

"If she's found guilty, how long is she going away for?"

"Well, she's going to be charged for arson in the first degree, destruction of property, and attempted murder; it depends if she's found guilty on one charge, a few charges, all charges, or no charges."

"So, assuming she's found guilty on all of them, how much time will that give her?" Eli asked, hoping that Kate would not be on the streets again in his and Clare's lifetime.

Piper sighed and calculated the years in her head.

"Forty-two years."

That did not seem like enough in Clare's opinion; sure, it was a bit less than half a century, but that still meant that she could be free by the time she and Eli were in approaching retirement age.

"And . . . if she's only found guilty on one charge?" she asked anxiously.

"Six months minimum depending on the charge," Piper said sadly.

The idea that Kate would be free by the time she and Eli were celebrating their two year anniversary made Clare cold.

"But we have evidence to back up that she started the fire; they found a box of matches in her pocket when they brought her in that night, so we basically have her for arson. All we need is your statements and testimonies and we should put her away for a good forty years or so."

"But it's only forty years," Helen said, not wanting to believe that this person would not be put in prison for life after she put Clare in hospital.

"I'm sorry, but that's the maximum sentence for all those charges. If I could put her away for longer, I would, but there's not much more we can do other than play the hand we're dealt."

She was quiet for a moment to let the news sink in. Eli and Clare's knuckles were white by the way they were grasping each other's hands, but they were in too much shock to feel the pain. Helen sat there, angered that this person would not see the end of her days in jail like she hoped. Officer Turner sat there, expecting this since this was not his first time testifying for these types of cases. CeCe, although shocked and enraged, tried to find the positive in this situation.

"Forty years is better than no years," she said.

"Exactly," Piper agreed. "So let's try and put her in for that long, okay?"

"Okay," Clare muttered as Eli slowly nodded his head. They loosened their hands, but did not part.

"Alright. Let me give you some information of Kate's lawyer, Harlan Weatherly. I've been to trial with him before; he's a good attorney, but that means he'll do anything he can to find holes in your story and make Kate seem innocent. What you must remember is that you cannot change your story in any way; it has to remain consistent or else he would play it to their advantage. That's the crucial piece of information you _must_ remember here; if one small detail is changed, he would turn it into something big, he will act on it, and then he will convince the jury that Kate is not guilty."

This was not helping them; their fear of going to the stand was increasing more and more with each piece of information Piper was giving to them. Her next bit of news, however, did not make them fearful of the stand . . . it was worse than that.

"Now, I would like to say that this is going to be a quick and simple case, but I can't."

"What do you mean?" Officer Turner asked.

"She's calling an insanity plea," she informed them. "Her lawyer is saying that there is a reason that she can't control that made her set Degrassi on fire and everything; basically, they're trying to put the blame on her mental health. If it follows through, her sentence could either be lessened or terminated."

The animosity and tension went up thousands of notches after learning this factor. Now there was a chance that Kate could weasel her way out of time in prison? The small light at the end of tunnel was beginning to diminish and it began to make them lose faith and confidence.

"She doesn't have any history of mental illness, though," Clare stated, going back to putting Eli's hand in a death grip.

"That we know of," she reminded. "There's a psychiatrist who's been examining her for the couple of weeks she's been in holding, but he's going to reexamine her the day before she testifies so nothing escapes us; he'll give us his conclusions before the trial, so we'll know how bad our situation is before any of you speak in court."

"What will happen if they say she does have a mental illness?" Helen asked.

"Well, most likely, she won't serve much time in jail and, depending on the illness, they may send her somewhere for treatment."

"But she won't get the full punishment?"

Piper shook her head.

"She might serve a bit of it, but not the years required of a stable person."

"She can't have anything like that," Eli protested, not wanting to believe that their chances of winning were weakening. "I was friends with her months ago and she was completely normal."

"Eli, how long ago did you have a real, civil conversation with Kate?"

He sat there and thought back to the last conversation they had before their friendship went down the drain; it was the day before she kissed him at his locker and he remembered them talking about something or other and nothing seemed odd.

"Maybe . . . six months ago," he estimated.

"And a lot can change in that frame of time; maybe she went through something and she might've developed something from it."

Clare sat there, let go of Eli's hand, and locked her own together to stop them from shaking; she began feeling queasy as the reality set in: she was going to go up on a stand and tell the truth and, possibly, only have it to be dismissed by the jury because people were blind enough to believe that Kate had a mental disability.

"Look, I know that this a shock to you guys and that this may hurt us, but, if the doctor tells us she's stable, then we have a good chance of winning this. We just have to buckle down and be prepared."

They then proceeded on the work that had to be done to be sure that their stories were bulletproof. After two hours of hearing Clare's firsthand account as to what happened in Degrassi and comparing it to the experience Eli went through along with what Officer Turner heard before he arrested Kate, Piper concluded that they would have a sporting chance at winning if the insanity plea fell through. She dismissed them at three o'clock, for she had another case to work on, and agreed to meet with them at the same time tomorrow.

Eli could sense how unnerved Clare was, so he offered to buy her a cup of coffee; she agreed, but she did not want to be surrounded by too many people. When Eli suggested that they go to the abandoned church, she told him that she wanted to be somewhere more public; she admitted that there was no logical reason to be afraid since Kate was still in holding at the police department, but she felt that they would be safer this way. He understood and, after picking up two coffees at the Dot, he drove them to a location where there would be people, but not too many to make her feel overwhelmed.

They were now at the park, sitting under the tree as they held their coffee in their to-go cups. It was a slightly colder day and the sun was behind the clouds; it did not really help that there was a constant breeze traveling through the air. Eli saw the goose bumps that were forming on Clare's her arms as the wind began to blow softly; he shrugged his jacket off his body before draping it around her shoulders. She was a bit cold, so she didn't protest when he covered her.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

Clare looked around the park; it was empty except for the two of them and four other people. She watched as a couple of children – two sisters, in fact – played on the other side of the park, their parents pushing them on the swings. They were smiling and squealing it delight, begging their parents to push them higher. Clare envied them; they did not have to worry about a trial; they did not have to worry about a girl who's been trying to tear their lives apart for months; they did not have to be afraid of what was to happen in a matter of days.

"Are you okay?" Eli asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as she came out of her daze.

She took a trembling breath and shook her head.

"There's hardly any evidence against her _and_ she's calling an insanity plea. What if our word is not enough to convince the jury she's guilty?"

"It will be. It's three words against one; we're going to be fine."

"We don't know that; what if she's actually . . . unstable or something and she gets off?"

"Then she'll probably go get treatment."

"And after she's released from that, she'll want to come after us because we almost sent her to jail. Every day for the rest of our lives, I'm going to terrified if she's lurking around the corner waiting for us and she'll do something. She can actually kill us next time!"

Eli hated to admit it, but that was a solid possibility and he understood why Clare would be feeling so horrified. He knew that Kate would probably spare him because of her feelings for him, but Clare would not be so lucky; this potential truth struck him had. The idea of living without Clare was a fate worse than death in his opinion; he knew what it felt like to live life without her and he never wanted to go through that again. He wanted to keep her safe so they could be together forever like they promised, but there only seemed to be one way to make that happen if Kate was freed.

"We'll disappear," he said. "We'll go somewhere like Vancouver or the States or something and we'll start our lives together so Kate won't find us."

"What about school? Our families? Adam and Alli?" she asked.

"We'll figure that all out; the important thing is that we'll be safe."

"She'll find us."

"No, she won't. I'll keep us safe, Clare."

But Clare did not believe him. She knew what Kate was capable of now and she knew that she could easily hunt them down and hurt them, maybe even more.

"She's going to find us, Eli."

"Listen," he began, doing all he can to keep her calm, "she's not going to find us. And I know that a doctor has to examine her and everything, but I have a feeling that Kate is not going to get that insanity plea. Once that's out of the way, it's all of us against Kate and we'll win; it's impossible not to."

"But if she's found guilty, she's going to be free in forty years. So it's either she get us then or she'll get us now; it's a lose-lose situation."

"No, it's not; forty years is better than nothing."

"But once she's out, she'll come after us again."

"By then, she might've let everything go."

"She won't! We'll be the ones who put her behind bars! Do you really think she's going to forget that? No! Once she's free, she'll hunt us down and get her revenge! What if she goes after our families, Eli? We'll probably have kids, maybe even grandkids, by the time she's out of jail!" she began to rant hysterically as she began to shake. "She'll go after them! I won't be able to take if she –!"

"Clare, listen to me, okay?" he told her directly, scooting closer to her. "We are going to be fine. Once she's out, we'll do whatever we can to keep her away from us and our family."

"That won't matter! She's still going to be out there! She can hire people to hurt us! She can do that! She's not going to stop until she gets her revenge!" she nearly screamed, causing the people across the park to look at her in concern. She didn't care; she was terrified and there was nothing that could be done to ease her. Tears were coming out of her eyes as she shouted and she could not control herself much longer.

"Shhh, shhh," Eli instructed, putting his coffee on the grass and putting both of his arms around Clare. He smoothed his hand over her back continuously as she cried into his shoulder. "It's going to be alright."

"I-I just . . . I just," she began, trying to control her tears, "I want all this to g-go away . . . the trial, the fire, Kate . . . I just want it all to disappear."

"I know," he whispered. "But, when all of this is over, you and I are going to have an amazing summer together and we'll never have to worry about Kate again; three days from now, this will all be over."

"Until she gets out," Clare said.

"They're probably going to put her on probation or something to make sure she doesn't come near us if that happens."

He eased his grip on her and looked her in the eyes, trying to give her some reassurance; he saw the tears in her eyes and he gently rubbed his hand between her shoulder blades.

"Everything is going to be fine," he soothed her.

Clare looked down at her hands and inhaled.

"I'm not so sure."

"I know you're scared, but we'll be alright. We'll make it."

Clare sighed and lied her head on Eli's shoulder as he kept his arms around her; she wanted Kate to be gone and, although she would be free in four decades, that meant that they had four decades of not having to deal with her and that would be enough.

"I'm not going to let her ruin the next forty years of my life," Clare stated. "If I do, then she got what she wanted by always being a part of us; I don't want that. I'm just going to live my life and, when she is released, I'll just do what I can to make sure she doesn't come after us."

"That's what I'm going to do," Eli said.

"And you'll be right there with me when she's released."

"Exactly," he said. "But let's make sure she's found guilty first."

She nodded before wrapping her arms around Eli's waist.

"Stay with me, okay?" she asked, knowing that she would not be able to go through with testifying unless Eli was there with her.

"I'm here till the end," he promised before giving her a kiss on top of her head and continuing to calm her down by caressing her back with his hand.

()()

The final day of preparations came. On that day, they planned when everyone was going to testify. It was decided that Officer Turner would speak tomorrow and so would Eli; Clare and Kate, however, were going to speak the day after. On that same day, the jury would reach a verdict and that would determine Kate's freedom.

"Alright, do guys know what we're up against?" she asked.

"Yes," the three of them chorused.

"Just remember: _don't_ let your guards down. Kate's lawyer will do all he can, but, if you guys stay firm, we will win this case. And I'm going to try my best when I question Kate on the stand on Friday."

"Do you still think we can win this?" Clare asked.

"I think we have a fair shot if this insanity plea goes out the window; but we'll know everything about that tomorrow before we start."

They had done everything they possibly could to prepare for this day; all that was left to do was to keep their heads up and do their best.

"Good luck tomorrow, guys," Piper bade them as they began to leave the office. "Now, go get a good night sleep; you're going to need it."

()()

Everything was going wrong . . . everything was breaking down around her . . . she could not take it . . .

Her lawyer and the psychiatrist left minutes ago, much to her relief; she knew she wasn't crazy and she hated someone picking at her brain and analyzing the "hidden meaning" in each word she said and everything she did. Harlan Weatherly, her lawyer, thought that the mental examination would help her case; maybe there was something wrong with her and she just wasn't aware of her actions or she was in denial when she did it.

But filing an insanity plea would be no use to them. She knew what she did and she was not ashamed . . . she was just ashamed that everything went wrong. If only Eli did not find out that the fire was _her_ idea; it easily could've looked like an unfortunate accident if he had never found her with the promise ring she took from Clare's finger before she set the school ablaze.

Kate now sat there alone on the mattress in the cell, knowing that she would not see a single soul until tomorrow when she would go to trial. Then she began to see that these next two days could be the last few times she could see Eli. She understood that this insanity plea was their only chance, but she did not care; she would do what she could in court tomorrow to clear her name, but she knew she was guilty.

And Eli knew it too. That was what broke her heart. Never again would he see her in a good light; he would always view her as an arsonist and any hope she had of them having a future together was fading away.

She dug into her pocket and pulled out a small bracelet that she had kept for over ten years. She remembered that Eli had made it for her in grade one and he gave it to her for her seventh birthday; she had kept it ever since, even when it would no longer slide onto her wrist. She saw the words on the beads and, together, they all spelt:

_BEST FRIENDS_

Tears coming to Kate's eyes, she clenched the bracelet in her hand. She had loved Eli ever since she was a little girl and now he wanted nothing more to do with her; if only he had just given her a chance, she would not be here.

She regretted revealing the truth to Eli in front of witnesses; if she had kept her mouth shut and left the school after she set it on fire, Clare would've died, she would've been there to comfort him, they would've ended up together, and none of this would be happening. But no . . . she was foolish and decided to admire what she had done instead of escaping. That was a mistake.

Because of her blunder, Clare was safe and Eli was wrapped around her little finger and had him under this delusion that he was in love with her and that he wanted to marry her. How Clare did it was a secret she would never know, but she did believe that it was just a matter of time until she would walk away and leave Eli heartbroken.

Oh, how Kate wanted to be there when it happened – and she knew it will – and Eli would need someone; she would have been there in a heartbeat despite everything he said and all they went through. It would be in that moment when he knew that he and Clare were never meant to be and he would see that _she _was the one he was supposed to be with.

Hopefully, if she was freed, they could meet and reconnect after he and Clare fall apart. Then, maybe, in a matter of time, that promise ring will rest on her finger. The thought made her smile even though tears were still running down her cheeks.

"I'll wait for you, Eli," she whispered to the air. "I'll wait."

* * *

"_We've got to hold on to what we've got_

_It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not_

_We got each other and that's a lot_

_For love_

_We'll give it a shot"_

_~ "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi_

* * *

Remember how I always used to say I was going to stop watching Degrassi if certain things happened? Well, now I feel like an idiot for saying that. I LOVE Degrassi! I can't stop watching it! It's too addicting! Even if . . . _they_ are together on the show now, I have to see what happens to Clare, Drew, Katie, Fiona, Alli, Zig, Maya, etc.

Reviews!


	93. Whisper

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the reviews guys! Shout outs the newest reviewers, amp17 and Courtney loves JELLO! Thanks! Well, all I have to say about this episode is that it could've been WAY worse! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi and that's the gospel truth!

* * *

Chapter Ninety-Three

Whisper

The 7th of June was upon them . . . the beginning of the end . . . the first day of the trial against Katherine Parker.

Clare awoke that morning after a nearly sleepless night; she tossed and turned, but could not get relaxed enough to doze off into her dreams. She tried to get her mind off the trial by reading some books, typing up the story Eli had helped her edit weeks ago, writing something new, and listening to classical music, but nothing worked. She was up until three in the morning until she finally fell into an unpleasant sleep.

She had a horrible nightmare, which did not help her anxiety; Eli was speaking on the stand when the courtroom burst into flames. Somehow, Clare was chained to a chair in the dream and had no choice but to watch as Kate ran through the fire and stood right in front of Eli as he continued to sit in the witness stand. She took his lips in for a kiss and he reciprocated, causing a pit to form in Clare's stomach as her heart hammered against her chest.

Thankfully, Randall was there to wake her up before anything else could happen. She awoke, shaken with her forehead covered in perspiration.

"Are you okay?" he asked, sitting on the edge of his daughter's bed.

"Y-Yeah," Clare stammered. "Bad dream, that's all."

But it felt so real and genuine that it made Clare even more worried about what was to happen today.

By noon, she was showered, dressed, and was ready to leave for court. She and Randall were about to leave as she examined her appearance in the mirror, not really sure what to expect today. She tugged at her white blouse, smoothed out her long black skirt, and refastened the bun in her hair; as she tampered with her outfit, she began to worry more and more what could happen today. Eli and Officer Turner were going to be on the stand, interrogated by two attorneys, and they could very easily be tossed into a snake pit.

She dwelled on her fears while she and Randall drove to the courthouse, but she knew that she was probably feeling nothing compared to the two males who were going to be speaking today. The two of them arrived at the courthouse and they went inside before seeing Martina Piper in the lobby, looking over a few case files in her hand. They moved towards her and she looked up from her file and saw the father and daughter.

"Good morning," she greeted.

"Good morning," Randall replied while Clare remained silent.

"Clare, Eli and Officer Turner are waiting in my office, so you can go join them; and, Mr. Edwards, you can go wait with everyone else in the courtroom down the hall."  
"Thank you," both of them said.

"See you later, sweetie," Randall told his daughter before they went in opposite directions. Clare traveled down the hall and soon found herself outside the attorney's office; she opened the door and stepped inside, pleased to see that the two witnesses were in there like Piper said they would be. Officer Turner was wearing his uniform while Eli wore a dark blue shirt, black dress pants, and dark green tie. Both of them were sitting in front of the desk, waiting patiently for the trial to begin.

Clare closed the door behind her; the sound grabbed the attention of the other two. They looked over their shoulders and saw her coming into the room.

"'Morning," she greeted them.

"'Morning," they replied.

She moved over to them until she could sit next to Eli.

"You ready?" Clare asked him.

"I think so," he answered. "A bit nervous, but not too shabby."

"Good," she said, glad that one of them had a bit of confidence. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

Their conversation was short lived, for they were more concerned about the trial ahead than filling the silence. This being Eli and Clare's first trial, they still had a limited idea of what to expect, but the meetings they had with their lawyer these last few days had helped them. Their nerves were soaring, but were calm and ready to face what was ahead of them.

They sat there for a couple of minutes when the door opened again; they turned their heads to see who else was joining their party and saw Martina Piper sticking her head into her office; judging by the look on her face, the time had come.

"Are you guys ready?" she asked, sensing the tension that she had grown accustomed to over the years.

None of them answered; they all simply rose to their feet and followed her out of her office, down the never-ending hallway, and towards the courtroom.

"Good luck, everyone," Piper said before pushing the door open and revealing the room where everything would unravel.

Shaking from head to toe, Clare and the trio stepped into the courtroom, terrified of what could happen. She was relieved, however, that this room didn't look _anything_ like the one from her nightmare. That one was dark and empty; this one was lighter and had a fair amount of people in the gallery behind the counselor's tables. She recognized many parents of Degrassi students along with Alli, Adam, and their families; they also saw Helen, Randall, Alyson, Melissa, CeCe, and Bullfrog. When she noticed them, she wished that all of them could be out enjoying the day by having a barbeque or lunch at Little Miss Steaks instead of here in this courtroom.

The closer they got to the front of the courtroom, the more Clare was able to see; the bench was there, absent of a judge, and the jury box as it waited on the jurors. She looked at both counselor tables and noticed that neither Kate nor her lawyer were in sight; knowing that it was just a matter of time until she saw that girl again, Clare kept a hold on Eli's arm as they continued to move. Piper led them to their table and they all sat down, Clare sitting between her attorney and Eli as Officer Turner sat to Eli's left.

"Are you guys ready?" Piper asked the members of the prosecution. Eli and Officer Turner nodded; Clare, however, kept her eyes glued to her lap and did not move.

"Clare, are you okay?" she asked gently.

Clare took a breath and shook her head, continuing not to move her eyes.

"I have a really bad feeling."

"It's probably just nerves," Piper reassured her, although she was sure that these could not be classified as "just nerves". "Don't worry about today; just sit back and remain calm."

"Okay," she said quietly, although this advice hardly helped.

"Relax," Eli soothed her, still sensing her fear as Piper turned to Officer Turner. "You won't have to speak until tomorrow."

"How are you staying so calm?" she asked him, astounded by his composure since he was going to be questioned in front of the jury in a matter of minutes.

In all actuality, Eli was just as timorous as she was, considering the fact that he was going on the stand today. He vomited twice during the night because of his nerves, but he was not going to let Clare know that while she was trembling in her shoes.

"I'm thinking happy thoughts; I'm thinking how, once this is all over, you and I can spend this summer together with no worries."

"I wish it was that easy for me," she said.

_That makes two of us_, he thought.

They were quiet until they saw two figures enter from the side of the courtroom. They first noticed that the defense attorney, Harlan Weatherly, was in his mid-thirties, were tall, skinny, and had dark brown hair and matching eyes. He wore a dark suit and held his briefcase and manila folders in his hand before taking a seat at the appropriate table.

However, the lawyer did not interest them as much as his company. For the first time in three weeks, they laid eyes on their enemy . . .

Time in holding had clearly taken its toll on Kate. Her face was drained, she was skin and bones, and her usually sleek hair was slightly frizzled as it was tied behind her head in a ponytail. The black skirt and matching blouse she was wearing made her face paler and it brought out the bags under her eyes that were caused by lack of sleep.

They looked at her and she looked back at them as she and her attorney sat in their seats. Disgusted to stare in her direction much longer, Clare snapped her eyes away from the defense table and looked at her hands as they lay folded in her lap. She gazed at her promise ring, hoping that the outcome of this trial would not affect her and Eli's plans no matter what happens.

Seconds later, twelve jurors came out from another room and sat in their stand. Each of them sat there, ready for the trial as much as they others were.

"Judge Phillips residing," the bailiff announced as a middle-aged man in a black robe stepped up to his seat. Everyone rose from their seats and watched as he took his seat.

"In the case of the People versus Katherine Parker with charges in arson in the first degree, destruction of property, and attempted murder, how does the defendant plead?" he asked as he read from his file.

"Not guilty," Kate answered.

"You may be seated," the bailiff said and everyone obeyed.

"Before we begin, I must bring to attention the analysis that has been done on the defendant in regards to the insanity plea the defense has proposed."

Everyone from both parties waited patiently for the judge to read out the results; Clare turned nervously to Eli, who seemed to be just as worried, before turning back to the judge as he pulled out a sheet of paper from his file.

"According to the observation and analysis given by Doctor Arthur Lowell, the defendant is clear of any mental disabilities and is completely stable."

Clare, Eli, Piper, and even Officer Turner breathed in relief as they saw their door of success open a bit wider. Weatherly and Kate, on the other hand, were less than enthusiastic; she had seen this coming, but was hoping that they would win the plea since it would increase her chances of freedom. She turned her head to the prosecution table and was sickened to see the small grin on Clare's face; of course she would be happy that their chances of winning this case had increased. She was just as unsurprised to see Eli's face, but seeing his grin made her feel alone and heartbroken; part of her hoped that he would be angered, but she knew that a hope was all it was. But this would not discourage her; she wasn't going to walk away from her dreams because of that smile that she had seen a million times . . . she would not go down without a fight.

Before they heard any of the witness statements, Judge Phillips allowed the attorneys to give their opening arguments to the jury. The speeches were given by both attorneys; Piper's was quick and simple: Kate was guilty and her actions had no excuse. Kate's lawyer, however, argued against it, stating boldly that his client had lived through a difficult, confusing time and she broke. He mentioned that even though she is not clinically classified as unstable, she was still not in the right frame of mind because of heartache.

Judge Phillips called the first witness to the stand and Officer Turner was sworn in; once he was on the stand and facing the gallery, Piper stood up to begin her first round of questioning.

"Officer Turner, you were there the night of May 4th when Degrassi Community School was set on fire, correct?"

"Yes."

Piper instructed him to inform the jury about what he saw that night. His statement was brief; he told them how Kate had started the fire to get rid of Clare and destroy all evidence in the process. Piper was done, therefore giving the defense an opportunity to question.

"The defense has no questions," Weatherly announced.

"You may step off, Mr. Turner," Judge Phillips said before Officer Turner returned to his seat at the prosecution table. "Next witness for the prosecution: Elijah Goldsworthy."

"Good luck," Clare whispered to him.

He swallowed the lump in his throat before rising to his feet and walking towards the stand. Once he was seated, he found himself gazing at the sea of people. He met Clare's eyes, which were full of support, before seeing his family, future family, and his friends in the crowd; he did not even bother looking at the defense table, for he did not want to see Kate's face if he could avoid it.

The bailiff then stood in front of Eli and presented him with the Bible; he put his right on the cover and looked the bailiff in the eye.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?" the bailiff asked.

"I swear," Eli agreed, despite his uncertainty of the higher power. He removed his hand from the Bible before Piper took the floor.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, how are you familiar the defendant?"

"We were old friends."

"Are you friends now?"

"No," he said, feeling a bit on edge even though it was the lawyer he trusted that was questioning him.

"And why is that?"

"We were friends when she first moved here, but, after a few months, she wanted us to be more than friends even though I was in a relationship."

"And you were in a relationship with the victim, Clare Edwards, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Please, continue," Piper said, walking around the courtroom while still keeping eye contact with her witness.

"I tried to let her down easy and tell her that I loved Clare and that I could not be with her. She kept taking things too far and I told her right out that we couldn't be friends anymore because it was causing problems between me and Clare."

"Afterwards, did you two have any contact with her prior to May 4th?"

"No," Eli said.

"Can you please describe to the jury what happened that night between you, Miss Edwards, and Miss Parker on the night of May 4th?"

Eli sat there, prepared to relive one of the worst hours of his life just so the person responsible could rot in jail like she deserved.

"There was a play going on that night; Clare, our friend Adam and I were working backstage when Clare said she had to use the restroom. We waited backstage for her to come back, but she didn't. We kept waiting, trying not to worry, when the fire alarms started going off. We got out, falling behind a bit to see if Clare was coming. We got out and . . ."

He paused to gather his thoughts together and to be sure that he was telling the story in chronological order.

"Take your time," Piper instructed, knowing that bringing these old memories back up could be difficult.

Eli breathed in and out a few times before continuing.

"We saw the school burning, but we still could not find Clare. We looked through the crowds and couldn't find her. I then saw Kate standing in front of the school, smiling."

"What happened after that?"

"I went towards her, having a feeling she knew about what was happening. I asked her where Clare was, she acted like she didn't know, we argued a little, then I saw something come out of her pocket and hit the floor; I recognized it as the promise ring I had given to Clare a few weeks before. I put the pieces together and knew that Kate started the fire because she did not want Clare around anymore. After Kate and I's argument, I knew that Clare was in the school and I went in after her."

Eli then looked down at the hands that were resting in his lap; this would be the hardest part to tell, for he was still affected by the fact that Clare could've died on that night.

"I found Clare trapped in the Art room, her wrists tied to a cabinet," he explained. "I got in there and began trying to get her out. She was already weakened by the smoke she had swallowed, but she was able to tell me that Kate had put her in there and started the fire. She passed out . . ."

Eli rolled his suddenly dry lips and tried to continue, anger from that night coming back to him.

"We got out, but Clare was rushed to the hospital. Adam and I were about to go there, but then I saw Kate again . . . I told Adam that she started the fire and I wanted her to pay for it. He told me to get her talking and that he would find someone to hear her confession and arrest her. I went along with it and got Kate talking by the time Officer Turner arrived."

"What did the defendant say to you?" Piper asked, knowing that this would be the key to winning the case.

For the first time since he arrived on the stand, Eli turned his eyes to Kate; his blood boiled by the sight of her as he recalled everything she had said that night as if it happened yesterday.

"She said she wanted to be with me, but that Clare had gotten in the way too many times and she needed her out of the way. I asked her if she had been planning this, and she said that she did, but she never wanted me to find out. She decided to set fire to the school because it would burn all evidence and . . . and the only witness," he described, his throat beginning to strangle him. "She said that, with Clare gone, I would realize that she and I could be together. I told her that it would not happen. She then said that it didn't matter if I found out because I would always remember her as the one person who killed Clare Edwards."

"So Miss Parker actually _admitted_ to you that she tried to kill Miss Edwards?" Piper said, not surprised by this detail since they had discussed it in their planning sessions.

"Yes. After that, she was arrested."

Eli was pleased when he did not have to repeat the story anymore; all the emotions he felt that night had all come back to him, including fear. He was worried that Kate would be set free, despite the fact that she had confessed to attempted murder.

"Why do you personally think that Miss Parker started the fire?" Piper asked him.

"Revenge, for one," Eli listed. "And . . . for some reason, she thought it would make me fall for her."

"And did she succeed?"

Eli knew that Piper was going to ask this question, but he thought that the answer was clear to see.

"No. Clare's alive and I don't have feelings for Kate; all her plan did was make me dislike her even more and brought all of us here."

"Thank you, Mr. Goldsworthy. No further questions," Piper stated to the judge before turning around and going back to the prosecution table. As she sat down, Kate's lawyer rose from his seat and moved towards Eli.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, you claimed that you used to be friends with my client?"

"Yes," Eli answered.

"Hmm . . . from what Miss Parker tells me, you had more than a friendship."

"We didn't."

"Please remember that you are under oath, Mr. Goldsworthy."

"We were just friends," he restated, confused as to why this person thought he was lying.

"But were you always?" Weatherly asked.

"Yes," he said.

Clare began getting a knot in her stomach, having the feeling that Kate had mentioned a certain event in her and Eli's past to her lawyer.

"Miss Parker told me that you two had a romantic relationship in the past."

"We didn't," Eli restated.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, think back to years ago and see if that jogs your memory."

Eli sat there when he realized what Weatherly was talking about.

"It was _not_ a romantic relationship; we were six-year-olds who had crushes on each other and were best friends."

"Really? Just that? Then why did my client tell me that you had made plans for marriage?"

He could not believe that an adult lawyer – someone with a _law degree_ – would bring up this information that could not have _anything_ to do with the case today.

"We were kids in grade one who did not know what we were talking about."

"But you two did promise to get married?"

"Technically, yes, but –."

Eli was unable to get his sentence out because Weatherly had interrupted him, and it wouldn't be for the last time.

"Do you understand how important those promises are to females? If I'm not mistaking, you and Miss Edwards have made a similar promise recently."

"Objection: the witness's relationship with the victim is irrelevant to this case," Piper interjected.

"On the contrary, your honor, it's quite necessary."

"False! All that we need to know is that the victim and witness are in a romantic relationship, nothing more."

"Overruled," the judge finalized. "Proceed, Mr. Weatherly."

"Mr. Goldsworthy, are you and Miss Edwards planning on getting married?"

Eli looked at him, then at Piper, and then back to Weatherly.

"Yes."

"Just like how you and Miss Parker were planning on getting married?"

"That was completely different; we were six and it didn't mean anything as time went on."

"It didn't mean anything _to you_, you mean?"

"No, when Kate and I met again back in September, she told me that everything was in the past."

"So you broke that promise you Miss Parker?" he certified.

"It wasn't a real promise; we were kids who didn't know what we were doing."

"Whether it was real to you or not, did you break that promise?"

Eli, who was beginning to felt like he was being forced into a corner, gave the answer that he knew was the truth and the one that would satisfy the lawyer's curiosity.

"If it was a real promise, then yes."

Clare and Piper sat there, watching the interrogation play before them. Clare watched Eli and saw how tense he was getting; she could not believe that Weatherly was hounding Eli about this information when it was hardly relevant to the case at hand.

"He can't really expect that to make the jury think Kate's innocent, does he?" Clare whispered to Piper.

"No, he knows that Eli and Kate's past history doesn't matter; he's trying to make the jury see Eli as untrustworthy so they won't believe his testimony. Now we need to listen."

Weatherly was now finished asking about the incidents from their elementary school days and decided to continue on to the question related to the case.

"Did you see Miss Parker set fire to Degrassi Community School?"

"No, but –."

"Then how are you so sure she did it?"

"She told me."

"Your honor," Piper stood up, "Mr. Goldsworthy has already explained to the jury that he heard the defendant admit to arson."

"Indeed," Judge Phillips agreed. "Mr. Weatherly, please move to your next question."

Weatherly nodded in comprehension before turning back to Eli.

"So, Miss Parker started the fire?"

"Yes," Eli answered without a doubt in his mind.

"And _she_ is to blame for your girlfriend almost dying?"

"Yes."

Weatherly hummed for a second and began to pace.

"Answer me this question, Mr. Goldsworthy: do you feel any remorse?"

"Excuse me?" Eli said, amazed at this question when _Kate_ was the one being charged with attempted murder.

"Objection: relevance?" Piper interrupted.

"Sustained," the judge allowed.

"My client has informed me that she would not do anything without a reason; she said that if she was to commit an act such as this, she must have been pushed to the edge," he began to elaborate.

"Counselor, if there's a question in this please get to it," the judge demanded.

"If Miss Parker did this, would it be because of you? Did you push her to the edge?"

"Objection: badgering," Piper protested, having the horrible feeling that their fair chance of winning this was about to go down the drain.

"Sustained," the judge allowed. "One question at a time, Mr. Weatherly."

Clare continued to sit there, eyes on Eli. She had a horrible feeling as she watched Kate's attorney begin to speak to her boyfriend again.

"Miss Parker had feelings for you, is that right?"

"Yes."

"And you told her before that you two would never be in a relationship?"

"Yes."

"Even though you flirted with her?" the lawyer asked.

Eli turned his eyes to Clare, who was both flustered and worried as to where this was heading.

"Never intentionally," Eli told Weatherly.

"And you two had a few moments of affection?" he continued.

"They were never –."

"You kissed her on more than one occasion, correct?"

Eli felt his heart hammer against his chest, knowing that he was going in deep, dark water now.

"Yes," he answered reluctantly. "But I didn't want it to happen."

Weatherly ignored him and moved on to the next question.

"You led her on, flirted with her, and kissed her more than once, but yet you told her you could not have a relationship with her?"

Clare turned to Piper, who looked angry, nervous, and shocked; her facial expressions did not help Clare and she began twisting her promise ring on her finger just so she could have something to distract her from the scene in front of her (not that it helped).

"I . . ." Eli said. "It was all a series of events that should not have occurred, but it's in the past."

"What you're saying is that Miss Parker should've let everything go?"

"Exactly," he agreed.

"So she did not have the right to be angry or hurt that you broke her heart?"

"No, she did, but –."

"You were the one who led her on, got her hopes up, and everything and you expected her to let everything go?"

"Eventually, but –."

"Is it fair to just point the finger at her when there was bigger reason behind her actions?"

There was no comeback from Eli this time. He simply sat there, too stunned for words; he began to let Weatherly's words sink in, forming a pit in his stomach.

"Answer the question, Mr. Goldsworthy; is this whole thing all Katherine Parker's fault?"

"It's . . ."

"Is it all her fault while _you_ were the one who made her feel this way and caused her to reach her breaking point because of a broken heart?"

Eli knew his answer this time, despite the fact that his family, friends, and girlfriend would disagree.

"No."

_No, Eli, it is all her fault_, Clare retorted in her head, wishing he would see this fact just as everyone else did.

"Is it your fault as well?" Weatherly asked him.

Eli looked at Clare, then at Kate, and then back at the attorney before delivering his answer.

"Yes."

At that single word, a murmuring occurred in the courtroom.

"Order! Order!" the judge demanded, hammering his gavel.

It took a moment, but the room eventually settled down and the room was silent once again. Clare was unsure whether this would affect the outcome of the case; but, if it did, it would not be in their favor. Piper sat next to her, eyes wide as she bit down on her bottom lip.

A small smile crossed Weatherly's lips, knowing that he had achieved his goal and that he had gotten the answer he wanted.

"No further questions," he said before turning on his heel and returning to his seat next to Kate.

"You may step down, Mr. Goldsworthy," the judge permitted, who was clearly just as shocked as the rest of the courtroom by Eli's answer.

Eli obeyed and moved back to sit with Clare, Officer Turner, and Piper, whose demeanor was horribly disgruntled.

"We shall continue this at noon tomorrow," Judge Phillips announced prior to dismissing the court.

Many began standing up and exiting the courtroom. Harlan Weatherly wore a look of pure smugness, believing he now had the upper hand in this case, as he and Kate took the side exit. Piper gathered all her papers together, continuing to look aggravated.

"My office, now!" she suddenly said sharply to them.

She excused Officer Turner, but she really needed to speak to Eli about what had happened on the stand and she knew it would be best if Clare heard it too so she would be aware as to how much was at stake. The three of them left the courtroom and journeyed down the hall until they had arrived at the familiar office. She let them in ahead of her before she closed the door with a snap.

"Eli, what in God's name were you thinking?" she demanded as she turned to face him. "Why did you say that it was your fault?"

"I had to tell the truth," he said, confused why Piper was so upset.

"But you know that it is not a fact! _That_ is your conscience!"

"Look, if I didn't lead Kate on like that –."

"You're _defending_ what she did by saying that! You're basically telling the jury that it was your fault, not Kate's!"

"It's both our faults, but –."

"No buts!" she snapped. "Unless Kate says something on the stand or Clare gives a solid testimony, we could lose this!"

"There's evidence against her and Officer Turner and I heard her say that she tried to kill Clare," Eli attempted to reason with her. "They'll put her away for it!"

"You don't know that and we can_not_ take risks here!" Piper explained hotly. "They could do three things: find her innocent, find her guilty, or see her reasoning and give her a shorter sentence. Most of the people on that jury have experience in relationships and know what it feels like to get their heartbroken from someone who could never have those kinds of feelings for them! They will see Kate's point; and, even if they say that she went about it the wrong way, they could suggest deducting a few years from her sentence!"

Eli had no idea that giving that one answer could shake everything up and even lessen their chances.

"I never thought about it like that," he muttered; unfortunately, Piper heard him and it did not help her temper.

"Obviously!" she barked before walking behind her desk; she slammed her files on her desk before she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.

Clare turned to Eli and saw the guilt in his eyes, knowing that this had just put a lot on his conscience. She did not want him, or Piper, for that matter, blaming him for this mess; he had never done this before and he did not know that there was a time and place for his beliefs to be pushed to the side and let the facts present themselves.

"Please don't be mad at Eli," Clare asked of her. "He just feels guilty that the fire happened."

"I know, but now the jury may not see that," Piper said, turning to them. "They might see Kate's reasoning behind it and not find her guilty or decide to not let her have as much time in jail."

"But, even if what Eli said makes them see her in a new light, surely they won't let her get away with all the charges against her, right?"

Piper sighed and rubbed her temples, still worried that this could hurt them.

"I don't know, but that is not a bet I'm willing to make; there are people on that jury who are bound to look beyond the evidence and see Kate's defense."

An uncomfortable and guilt-ridden hole formed in Eli's stomach and he desperately wanted to turn back time and stick only to the facts instead of letting Kate's lawyer figure out his weakness.

"I'm sorry," he said, wishing that he did not make such a mistake.

"That's not good enough! You can't let him get to you like that! I warned you time and again that you _can't – let – Weatherly – get – to – you_!" she emphasized, recalling all the times she told Eli this during their meetings over the last two days. "And I'm going to tell you this once and for all, Eli: Clare was not in that fire because of you _and_ Kate did not do this because of you; she could've gotten over it, but she didn't, and that is not your fault. Do you understand?"

Eli nodded.

"Good," Piper said.

Clare was glad that Eli had finally seen that light; she hated seeing him take responsibility for Kate's actions, but this was the end of the line for her. She was not mad at him for what happened today, but she was relieved that Piper knocked the truth and some sense into him before she had to do it for herself.

Piper, although still a bit steamed by what had occurred today, took a breath to calm down and was silent for a bit before she was back to her usual, rational self. Once she knew it was safe for her to use her voice again, she softened her eyes and spoke to the couple; she was appeased that her tone was gentle.

"What's done is done; we just have to wait and see what happens tomorrow. You two go home and get some rest," she instructed, sitting behind her desk. "Hopefully, this will all be over by tomorrow."

()()

Eli paced his room, finally free from the shirt, tie, and dress pants he was wearing all day; he wore an old shirt and a pair of sweatpants as he repeatedly cursed himself for screwing up their case. He was pacing, wishing that tiredness would come to him so he could get some sleep and then wake up tomorrow and watch the rest of the trial unfold. He was worried for Clare, who would be questioned just as he was today, and he was hoping that she was not feeling too nervous.

His wonders were soon put to rest by a single text message; he was finally done telling himself that everything that had happened to day was behind him and he should start moving forward when he heard his message alert go off on his phone. Curious as to who would text him at eleven o'clock at night, he retrieved his phone from his desk and opened the message.

_R u busy?_

It was from Clare. He was quite surprised to see a text from her this time of night, so it must've serious if she was supposed to be resting for her day in court tomorrow. Hoping that nothing bad was happening at home because of her dad and Alyson, he quickly replied.

_No. What's wrong? _

He stared at his phone for thirty seconds when the alert went off again. He urgently opened the text and her next message made him worry more.

_Can u come over?_

She always said that when she feared something and, today, something was the case. He sensed how nervous she was today when he and Officer Turner were on the stand, so he knew that everything must've been getting worse as time continued to tick down until her time had come. He did not want her to feel this way and, if she really needed him to be there, he was not going to let her down. Wanting to give her a bit of assurance that he would be with her soon, he quickly texted a reply.

_Be at your window in 10 _

He grabbed his jacket, pulled on his shoes, grabbed the keys to Morty, and soon began to drive towards his girlfriend's house. Minutes later, was driving down her street; he parked Morty down the block so her dad wouldn't notice him before he began to walk the rest of the day to Clare's house with a ladder in his hands. As he approached the house, he could see Clare's light shining in her room and he noticed that Clare herself was already standing at her open window, feeling the cool breeze of the night as she waited for Eli. She did not smile or wave when she noticed him coming, which was really strange as far as Clare goes.

Gaining more concern, Eli quickly unfolded the ladder and leaned it against Clare's house as quietly as possible. Within seconds, he was scaling the side of her house and then climbing into her room.

"Thanks for coming," Clare said, putting Eli in the tightest hug possible. "I'm sorry I texted you so late."

"Don't worry about it," he said, returning her hug.

"I just really needed to talk to you."

"Okay," Eli consented softly before pulling out of the hug and gently leading her to her bed. They both sat on the edge when Eli put his arm around her shoulders while she looked at her knees. "What's wrong?"

She had been figuring out the best way to explain her feelings ever since she got his text that said he would come over, so she was prepared to speak. She turned her head to him and met his gentle, comforting eyes.

"I saw the way Kate's attorney treated you on the stand today; he's going to do the same thing to me when I'm up there and I don't know if I can handle it."

"Clare, you are going to be fine. Just tell the truth and nothing bad can happen."

"_You_ told the truth as well, but he poked holes in your story."

"I let him get to me; you just can't let that happen to you."

"But what if he does? Or what if the jury sees me up there and I break down? Or what if they don't believe me? Or what if –?"

"Sweetheart, listen to me, okay?" he instructed, sliding hair behind her ear with his free hand before gently cupping her face. "You are going to get on that stand tomorrow, you are going to tell everyone what happened, and Kate's lawyer won't be able to find a way to tear your story down because everything is solid. Okay? Kate's only chance was the insanity plea, and that's gone, so we'll be fine."

"But what if Miss Piper's right? What if we lose this?"

"We won't," he said. "I promise."

"No, Eli, you can't say that! This is a promise you can't keep! It's out of your hands! You can't say that everything's going to be okay this time when we don't know if it is or not! She probably won't be found guilty! She'll probably be set free and everything!"

Fearful that she'll make herself sick from worrying so much, Eli gently wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a comforting embrace.

"Easy, easy," he said softly. She rested her head on his shoulder and began taking many breaths so she could stabilize herself; appeased that she had someone here with her right now, she wrapped her arms around his torso and held on to him.

"I don't know if I can face Kate's lawyer."

"Yes, you can," he told her with determination, having all the confidence in the world in her.

"I don't think I can," she said. "He did all of that to you and . . ."

She stopped speaking, not wanting him to start feeling bad about what had happened.

"Kate knew I would blame myself for you being in the fire; she probably told him that and he played it to their advantage. They had something to use against me; they don't have anything on you."

"They might."

"You have not done _anything_ to Kate other than love the guy she had feelings for; they can't say anything other than that."

Clare was not sure what to believe, considering that Weatherly did everything in his power to attack Eli today. She knew what he was capable of in court, but she did not want to fall victim to his hostilities.

"I'm scared," she whispered as he held her tighter in his arms.

"I know," he soothed her. "But you should only be there for twenty minutes. After that, it'll be Kate's turn, Piper will do her best, and then the rest is up to the jury."

She let his words in, but she could not accept them to be true until she no longer had to worry about speaking in front of a judge, jury, and lawyers. But she was thankful for Eli nonetheless; she was glad that he was there with her at the courthouse today, that he was here now, that he would be there tomorrow and there by her side for the rest of her life. Despite all of this, however, she needed him now, knowing that she would not be able to get through the night without him.

"C-Can you stay with me?" she asked, holding him with all of her strength to keep herself from shaking violently.

Eli heard her request and was instantly surprised.

"What about your dad?"

"He's already asleep."

Eli would've stayed with her, but he and Clare's father had just resolved their issues six weeks ago and he knew that staying the night without his permission could cause them to go all the way back to square one.

"I don't know, Clare," he said regrettably, knowing that this was not the time to risk going down bad roads with her dad.

"Please," she beseeched. She understood why Eli would feel like he had to leave, but she would not let him get away if she could avoid it; she needed her only source of hope there with her.

"He might come in and see us."

"I don't care!" she stated. "I'll say it was my idea; I'll tell him I begged and that I refused to let you leave if he sees us! Please, just stay with me tonight! Please, Eli, please!"

She knew that he had been doing a lot for her lately, but Eli staying the night with her was the only way she could stay calm and possibly sleep through the night.

"Please!" she begged.

She needed to sleep and she needed comfort, neither of which she would get unless Eli was here with her throughout the night. Desperate for him to stay, her hands held onto the sides of his jacket as she buried her head in his shoulder.

"Don't go anywhere," she cried hysterically as tears came down her face. "Please don't go."

Eli did not see just how terrified Clare was until this moment and he did not want her going through this any longer; if her father did see them, he would take care of it later. He did not care what happened tonight as long as she would be able to rest.

"I'll stay," he agreed, holding her tight and smoothing her hair over her neck. "Shhh, it's okay; I'm staying right here."

Clare was too scared about tomorrow to care that her father would probably ground her for life if he saw Eli sleeping in the same bad as her; all she felt was this sense of relief that Eli had agreed to stay, and that numbed her terror.

"Thank you," she said as he held her.

All of her emotions presented themselves in tears; she began to shudder against Eli as he heard her begin to cry. He held her and rubbed her back, hoping would calm her down a bit.

"I'm right here. It's okay," he soothed her.

Three more minutes passed before they separated and decided to go to bed. He was only wearing the t-shirt and sweatpants since it was so late when she texted him, so he only had to take off his shoes, socks, and jacket before sliding in the bed next to Clare. He took her in his arms and held her until her head was against his chest.

"Are you okay?" he asked her while he stroked her upper arm.

Eli felt Clare shake her head against his chest.

"I'm still really scared."

"I know," he said. "And it is really frightening when you first get up there, but it's not so bad once you start talking and getting your side of the story out."

"How bad was it when Kate's lawyer started questioning you?" she asked, wanting to know what she was in for.

"That was the worst of it, but once that was over, it was a huge relief."

She inhaled and exhaled repeatedly, wishing that she could fast-forward until tomorrow night when they did not have to deal with this anymore.

"It'll be okay," she heard Eli whisper before he gently kissed the top of her head.

She did not know what to say, therefore, she wiped her tears away and lied there, the only noise she heard being Eli's heart beneath her ear. She fell asleep to the sound of Eli's heartbeat in company with the soothing words he whispered to her at times while her thoughts were haunted by the possibilities of tomorrow.

* * *

"_I'm frightened by what I see_

_But somehow I know that there's much more to come _

_Immobilized by my fear_

_And soon to be blinded by tears"_

_~"Whisper" by Evanescence_

* * *

I'm a sad snake right now because of all this Eli/Imogen stuff that is killing our EClare hope. Please send in reviews to make me smile.


	94. Never Give In

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the reviews! Seriously, they make me smile every time! Thanks! Shout out to Castaway Girl for reviewing and for writing an amazing story ("My Angel of Music"). And shout out to the reviewers CONTINUE, Dr. Pepper699, and mcflyxlove for your words. So . . . I was happy dancing through three-fourths of tonight's episode. That's all I'm saying. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: This is classified information, but I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter Ninety-Four

Never Give In

"Clare," Eli whispered in her ear the following morning. She stirred a bit before opening her tired eyes to meet his.

"What's wrong, baby?" she said.

"I have to go."

"No, you don't," she groaned as she held him tighter, not wanting him to leave her side.

"Your dad may be getting up soon."

"It's only nine o'clock," she informed him, checking the time on her alarm clock.

"And we have to be at the courthouse by noon; he could wake up and see us between now and then."

"That doesn't mean you have to leave _right_ now; just a few more minutes?"

He couldn't leave; he was the only thing that was keeping her nerves at bay and was the only person who could help her through this. She did not want his presence to be gone for a minute out of fear that she would break under the pressure.

"Please don't go," she said.

Clearly, the hours of sleep did not calm her down much. Not wanting to see Clare get distraught like she did the night before, Eli surrendered, seeing that this was worth getting caught by her father. He kissed her head and held her tighter as she continued clinging to him.

"I'll stay for a few more minutes," he promised.

Seeing that this was better than nothing, Clare relaxed in his arms, hoping that he would change his mind and stay with her until they had to get ready to go to the courthouse.

"Eli?" she said.

"Yes?" he responded.

"While you were up there yesterday . . . did you . . . did you feel all the fear and everything come back to you?"

Eli wanted to tell Clare that none of the emotions from that night came back to him, but he knew that telling her a lie would not help her. Wishing that he did not have to tell her this, he told her the truth.

"It did when I first started telling them what happened, but once I got off the stand, everything started to go away."

This was the answer that Clare feared, but this was what she needed to know and at least she knew what to expect. The newly found knowledge, however, did not alleviate her distress. In fact, it actually added to it.

"I-I'm scared," she admitted softly.

"Hey, you survived a burning building; if you can get through that, you can get through anything."

"But what if I mess up and say the wrong thing?"

"Don't overthink," he advised her. "Just tell them what happened; you'll be fine."

Clare was trying to gain all the advice possible so she did not have a meltdown on the stand; she took his words to heart and told herself to not think about the "what ifs" of this trial anymore. She inhaled and exhaled repeatedly while trying to review all the guidance Piper and Eli had given her. He was watching her the whole time and took notice of how on edge she was about this. He racked his brain to figure out what he could say to give her comfort.

"It's like the old saying goes: the truth will set you free," he said. "Well, except in Kate's case; then the truth puts you behind bars until you're old and miserable."

Clare laughed lightly and Eli was pleased to see her happy for that small moment.

"Everything will be fine," he added, now attempting to boost her confidence.

"I hope you're right."

"I'm always right, aren't I?" he smirked, sitting up and looking at her while Clare continued to lie on the bed.

"No," she said bluntly.

"Well, then just pretend that I am for today."

Clare rolled her eyes and grinned as he got out of the bed and pulled on his shoes and jacket. Once he was done, he looked at her; she was sitting up as dread continued to reside in her eyes. He sat back down on the bed and put a gentle arm around her and locked his green irises with her blue ones.

"You'll be fine. And I'm going to be there the whole time, okay? Just keep thinking that this will all be over by this time tomorrow; then it's just going to be you, me, and our confused, love-struck friends," he said, recalling how awkward Alli and Adam were with each other at the mall days before.

She released chuckles as she remembered that day.

"If this is your way of trying to cheer me up, it's working."

"That's the idea. And how about when we're done at the courthouse, you and I go to the Dot, then we go to special place for a while, and then we go back to my house and you spend the night?" he intrigued of her.

Despite her frozen heart and anxious nerves, Clare grinned slightly at the plan. That could be the light at the end of this extremely long, dark tunnel.

"I'd love that," she said.

"I thought you would," Eli smirked before giving her the most comforting hug imaginable. "I'll see you at the courthouse, okay?"

"Alright," she nodded.

Eli gave her a soft, chaste kiss on the lips.

"You're a strong one, Clare. Remember that."

Her cheeks turned pink for a second, appreciating all he was doing to make her believe in herself.

"Okay," she said softly. "I'll see you in a few hours."

"I love you," he said to her; he stood up and walked towards her window, which was still open from the night before.

"I love you too," she replied before she watched him disappear from sight.

()()

Clare wore her black skirt and a light blue blouse as she and Randall drove to the courthouse. She was a bit more relaxed since her and Eli's talk this morning, but the butterflies were still going wild in her stomach. She had been quiet for most of the morning and all she wanted was to hide herself in her room, but that was not an option . . . not to her, anyway.

"You know, Clare, you don't have to testify if you don't want to," her father informed her on their drive to the courthouse.

"I . . . I want Kate to be found guilty," she told him despite her lacking confidence. "And I'm willing to do anything if it means she'll go to jail."

Randall, along with the rest of her family, was really proud of Clare. She had been through so much from Darcy's rape, the divorce, all the Alyson issues plus more and she was still had enought courage left over to go up there today. Randall doubted if he would be able to go through all of that and still be able to speak in front of all those people today, but this seventeen-year-old could; that was bravery taking human form in his eyes.

"That's my girl," he said, giving her a smile as he parked the car.

Clare tried to grin in return, but it only remained on her face for a second. Not wanting Randall to see her nerves again, she looked through the windshield as she unbuckled her seatbelt. She saw Eli waiting outside for her as he leaned against a pillar that was outside the courthouse.

"I'll see you later, okay?" she told Randall after they climbed out of the car and closed their doors.

"Alright," he said before giving his daughter a hug of comfort and support. "You'll be fine."

Not a hundred percent sure if his words were truth, she nodded before leaning out of the hug and going towards the person who had been her main support and comfort since the beginning. Eli stopped leaning against the pillar and tried to give her an encouraging grin as she got closer.

"Hi," he greeted her when she came his way.

"Hey," she replied softly as he pulled her into an embrace.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he eased his grip on her.

She shrugged.

"Better than last night, but I'm still nervous."

"Makes sense," he said before looking directly at her; her face was slightly green and her eyes were glassy. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She shrugged again and breathed through her nose, feeling slightly nauseated.

"I think I'm going to throw up or pass out before this day's over," she confessed, already having images of her vomiting or fainting in front of a jury; the idea of humiliating herself made everything she was feeling ten time worse.

For the last few days, Clare had not been able to breathe easy or have moment of peace and it was making Eli grow more and more concerned for her. If this was starting to affect her physical health, her nerves were worse than he thought.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, knowing that time was ticking down for her to walk away.

She breathed in and out before nodding, keeping her eyes on the ground as much as she can.

"If I don't, Kate could slip through the cracks; I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" he repeated.

"Yeah," she said boldly, wishing she felt the way her voice sounded. "It's just twenty minutes tops, right?"

Even though she was pulling off a great act at being confident, Eli saw through the charade. Hoping that it would bring her some peace of mind, he slid off the skull ring with a green jewel over the right eye that she had given him for his birthday last year.

"This always brought me good luck," he informed her. "Right now, it seems like you need it more than I do."

He handed it to her and she gazed down at it before looking back at him.

"Thanks," she said before clutching it in her hand, knowing she would need all the luck she could get.

Eli put his arms around her for the final time while she locked her arms around his neck.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I think so," Clare answered. "You'll be there the whole time, right?"

"Right," he said.

Those words making her calmer than she was before, Clare loosened her grip on Eli and began taking deep breaths. He then gently kissed her temple, hoping it would help her some more.

"Come on," he said as they released each other. "The sooner we get in there, the sooner we can get out."

()()

By noon, Clare, Eli, and Officer Turner had returned to the familiar courtroom with Piper by their side. They were waiting patiently for the defendant, jury, and judge to arrive and then their last day in court would finally be over. The minutes were ticking down until the session began, but Clare was not sure if she wanted time to speed up, slow down, or freeze all together. Shaking slightly, she smoothed out the wrinkles in her skirt as she sat next to Eli. Her parents, Eli's parents, Alyson, Melissa, Alli, and Adam sat in the in the middle of the gallery behind them as they did yesterday, not only to show moral support, but also to be there when Kate was sentenced; all they hoped for now was that the jury would find her guilty and this nightmare would be finished forever.

Clare tried to stop her hands from shaking by clasping them together only to feel herself trembling worse than ever; everything she had felt outside the courthouse moments ago had disappeared, but it came back with a vengeance.

"Are you okay?" Piper asked, seeing how out of sorts her client was.

"Nervous," she murmured.

"Don't worry," she eased her. "Just tell them what happened."

"I'm more worried about what Kate's lawyer will ask."

"Clare, you did nothing wrong here; everything will be fine."

"What if he asks a question and I say the wrong things?" she asked.

"Think before you speak," Piper instructed. "And breathe. But, the most important thing, remember to _stay_ _calm_."

Clare nodded, trying to remember every piece of advice Eli and Piper had been given her. She had to stay calm, not overthink, not let Harlan Weatherly get to her, and tell nothing but the truth.

Kate and Weatherly then came into the courtroom and took their seats at their table. Weatherly was wearing a grin on his face, clearly dauntless that they could win this trial because of what occurred with Eli the day before.

The jury entered and sat in their box, the bailiff introduced Judge Phillips in the same fashion as yesterday, and it was not long until the moment had come . . .

"Victim for the prosecution: Clare Edwards."

Clare sat there and stared at the witness stand; it suddenly seemed to be a hundred miles away instead of ten steps. All the anxiety she had been feeling that morning had intensified a thousand percent and she could not feel anything except for her heart trying to free itself from her chest.

"Miss Edwards?" the judge said from a million light-years away.

Clare, knowing that it would be best to get this over with since it would not go away, stood up on her trembling feet.

"You'll be fine, sweetheart," Eli told her quietly.

"Good luck," Officer Turner said to her. She tried to grin in response to them, but she could not find the feeling in her face. She half walked, half dragged her feet across the floor until she reached the witness stand.

As she sat down, she turned her head in Eli's direction; he was looking back at her and he gave her an encouraging nod. Wishing desperately that they were back in her room or in the back of Morty on prom night, she held onto his ring as she waited to be sworn in.

The bailiff presented her with the Bible and she placed her right hand on it, knowing that there was no turning back from here.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?"

"I swear," Clare said, her voice coming out weaker than she intended. The bailiff stepped away with the Bible before Piper stood up to begin her questioning.

"Miss Edwards, you were the victim of arson on the night of May 4th, yes?" she asked, wanting to familiarize the jury.

"Yes," she said, her voice barely audible.

"And it was because of that arson that you slipped into a coma and were put on a ventilator for nearly a week, correct?"

"Yes."

"Do you know the person who set Degrassi Community School on fire?"

"Yes," she answered.

"Is it the same person who trapped you in the school before igniting it?"

"Yes," Clare repeated for the fourth time.

"Is that person in this courtroom today?"

Clare's eyes darted to Kate and then back to the lawyer.

"Yes, it was the defendant, Katherine Parker."

"Can you please describe what happened that night from the beginning?"

She knew this was coming, but looking back on the events always made her feel uneasy. She really wanted to forget everything that happened, but now she had no choice but to dig it out of her memory and retell the story for, hopefully, the final time.

"I was helping with a play that night, but I went to the bathroom before it started. I was about to leave the restroom, but someone hit me in the head from behind and I became unconscious," she recalled; she took a breath to recollect her thoughts before continuing. "I woke up in the Art room and . . . my arms were bound above my head to handles of a cabinet. I got scared and began screaming for help. No one came, but then . . . I smelled kerosene and I screamed even more, scared about why kerosene would be in the building."

As Clare gave the details from that night, she began feeling all the fear she felt when she was against the cabinet. Wanting to stay a rock and not show her vulnerability in front of the jury and Kate's lawyer, she calmed herself.

"Kate came into the room few a seconds later."

"What happened after she came in the room?"

Clare closed her eyes and tried to think in retrospect to what occurred that night; she described everything she saw in her head and hoped that they jury would be able to picture it if she used enough detail and included enough information.

"I asked her what she was doing there and . . . she told me that I had been in the way for too long and that it was her turn to be with my boyfriend, Eli. She told me that I was living in a dream world because Eli and I have plans for a future together; I told her that she was the one living in the dream world because she believed that he would go to her after all the things she's done, especially now that she was about to try and kill me. She then said that . . . that he would not find out about it, but even if he did, no one would be able to prove it."

She opened her eyes and saw Piper standing in front of her, waiting patiently for her to finish.

"I tried screaming for help again when she slapped me across the face and told me that I might want to stop because I was going to need all the air I could get."

Clare was aware that she was not in any danger here, but the way she described it made her feel like she was back against the cabinet, waiting for death to take her. Eli warned her of this, but she did not know it would be this intense. Still focused on not losing control in front of everyone in this room, she breathed before proceeding.

"She took my promise ring off my finger and said that she may or may not tell Eli that I said goodbye before she left the room. I tried to get free again, but the binds were too tight. I screamed for help, but no one came. Suddenly . . . flames came from the hallway and –."

She broke off, trying to stay calm just as Piper advised. She took another breath and turned her eyes to Eli; he blinked at her, giving her the message that she was doing fine and everything was going to be okay. Reassured, Clare found her voice and pressed on.

"The flames traveled into the room and . . . the smoke got into my lungs and I thought I was going to die. The last thing I remember is my boyfriend coming in the room, I told him about Kate, and then I passed out. The next thing I know, I was waking up in the hospital."

Her story was over, but her time on the stand was not. Piper was determined to not let Weatherly go after Clare because of what Eli said on the stand the day before, so she was going to nip it in the bud and try to prevent anymore issues as far as Eli's actions from that night were concerned.

"Mr. Goldsworthy mentioned yesterday that he feels it is his fault that you almost lost your life; do you believe this?"

"No," Clare almost instantly.

"Why not?" she asked, hoping Clare would word her statement correctly.

"Kate and I have never really been on good terms and she's tried to mess up Eli and mine's relationship before this; I think her trying to kill me was just her last attempt to be with him. I don't think he pushed her too far; I think she just doesn't know how to accept everything for what it is."

Piper stood there, hoping that the jury got all the information they needed since there were no more questions for her to ask Clare.

"No further questions."

As Piper returned to the prosecution table, Clare felt alone on the stand; while her attorney was questioning her, she did not feel lost in the web of the law. Now that her interrogation was finished, the teenager felt stranded. It seemed that the only connection she had to the world outside the courthouse was the ring that was in her hand; she held it tighter, doing her best not to panic.

She hoped that Harlan Weatherly would not have any questions for her, but that wish came crumbling down as he stood to his feet and took the floor. Clare sat on the witness stand, waiting for Kate's lawyer to begin questioning. He did not waste any time beating around the bush and got down to the hardcore questions he had been saving for a long time. He could sense her fear, making her an easy target for him.

"Miss Edwards, you were hit in the head, bound to a cabinet, and then you were surrounded by flames?" he recounted.

"Yes, I was," she answered, trying not to sound frightened.

"But did you ever see my client hit you in the back of the head?"

Clare reflected on her story when the realization came to her that she never actually saw Kate hit her nor did she witness Kate tying her wrists or striking the match that made the fire come alive.

"N-No, but –."

"And, since you were unconscious, you did not see her take you to the Art room or bind you?"

"No."

"And you did not see her set fire to Degrassi?"

"I didn't see her do it, but –," she tried to explain when he cut her off again.

"If you did not see her, how do you know she did it?"

"I saw her pour kerosene and she basically said that she would start the fire," she argued, beginning to wonder if this man had been paying attention to her story.

"How do you know she didn't have a change of heart and someone else started the fire? You two were friends before, correct?"

"Yes, but not for long; the only reason I kept hanging out with her was because she was a friend of my boyfriend's."

"But maybe she cared for you and decided that it was not worth it? Do you think that's possible?"

"No," Clare said pointblank; she began noticing that the angrier she got, the more confident she became. "We were only friends for a month, but then I stopped trusting her."

"Miss Edwards, did you see my client start the fire?" he said, returning to his original point.

"No," she answered yet again, growing annoyed with the repetition of questions.

"So, other than what she said, there is not any proof that she started the fire?"

"The detectives found matches in her pocket," she retorted.

"Is there evidence to suggest that _those_ matches were used to start the fire?"

"Your honor," Piper called out, standing from her seat, "the victim is not aware any further physical evidence in this case; Mr. Weatherly should not be questioning her about it."

"Sustained," Judge Phillips allowed as Piper sat back down. "Any more questions, counselor?"

"No, that is all, your honor," Weatherly said before turning back to his table.

"Miss Edwards, you may step down," the judge permitted.

Hearing those words was the equilibrium of heaven to Clare; a huge, dark cloud that had been hovering over her head for the last couple of days was gone and all that was left to do was let Kate speak and then let the jury decide. She got off the stand and journeyed back to Piper, Officer Turner, and, much to her pleasure, Eli.

"You did great up there," he whispered to her as she sat back down next to him.

"You did," Piper replied.

"Is it going to be enough?" Clare asked, a bit surprised that she did not seem to be up there for long.

"I think so," their lawyer confirmed. "Now we just have to ask Kate the right questions."

In no time at all, the defense's first and only witness was sworn in and the final round of questioning in the case began. Since Kate was a member of the defense, Weatherly would be the first one to ask the questions this time around. The gallery, jury, and prosecution sat as still as stone as Weatherly began.

"Miss Parker, have you ever been in trouble with the law?" her attorney asked.

"No," Kate answered, the confidence and doubt mixing with the blood in her veins.

"And you've never had trouble in school?"

"Never," she said.

"And you have recently been accepted to a superb university on a full-scholarship, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir," she said.

"You're also hoping to succeed in the field of Medical Science, am I right?"

"Yes," Kate responded.

"Do you believe you have a bright future ahead of you?"

"Yes, I do."

"And would you throw all of that away for someone you did not have a chance with?"

"No, I wouldn't."

_Ha_,_ right_, Eli thought sarcastically before listening to the rest of the testimony.

"Were you willing to accept that Mr. Goldsworthy was in a relationship with Miss Edwards?"

"Absolutely," Kate said. "I was fine with it; but then Eli started flirting with me so I thought that it meant that he was getting feelings for me. I guess I was wrong."

"So he led you on?" he clarified.

"Yes, but he never stopped me when I flirted back; I took that as a good sign."

"And that led you to pursue him?"

"Yes," she said without legislation. "I thought that I had a chance, but he kept telling me otherwise."

"With that knowledge in mind, Miss Parker, who is responsible for the fire in Degrassi?" he asked her.

Kate's eyes traveled to the prosecution table before facing Weatherly again.

"Elijah Goldsworthy."

Clare wanted to nothing more than to scream out in protest, but she knew it would be better to hold her tongue and not do anything to hurt their chances.

"Elijah Goldsworthy is responsible?" Weatherly restated, obviously trying to turn the tables.

"Yes," Kate answered.

"Do you mean this man?" he asked, gesturing to Eli.

"Yes," she repeated.

"Please, elaborate," he requested of her.

Kate's eyes roamed back to Eli and she noticed the glower he was giving her while she explained.

"I loved him and he knew it, but he didn't care. I tried and tried, but he never gave me the time of day despite everything we had been through."

"So, if you were the one who set fire to the school, it would not be by choice?"

"No, it would be because I was driven to the breaking point."

"The defense has no further questions," he proclaimed before venturing back to his seat, satisfied with his answers.

Kate sat there, confidence going through her veins; she was ready to answer any questions the prosecution had for her. Martina Piper then rose from her seat, just as prepared to interrogate.

"Miss Parker, Mr. Weatherly asked if you would throw everything away for a boy you would _not _have a chance with and you answered no. M_y_ question is would you have thrown it away for a boy you believed you _could _have a chance with?

"If this person loved me back, then yes," Kate answered with honest.

"Do you believe that you had a chance with Elijah Goldsworthy?"

"Yes," she answered.

"And do you think he loves you?"

"Even though he denies it, I do."

Eli bit down on his tongue in attempt to hold back the thoughts going through his head at this very moment.

"Why do you say that?"

"We have something special between us."

Eli resisted the temptation to tell her how crazy she sounded and to tell her once and for all that they did not have anything between them, but he ended up keeping his lips closed tight for the same reason as Clare.

"Alright, so you would only throw your future away for someone who loved you back," Piper recalled. "You _just_ admitted that you believe that Mr. Goldsworthy loves you back. Does this mean that you threw away everything you worked for on that night because of your feelings for him?"

Kate rolled her lips, struggling to find the perfect way to describe how she felt without admitting that she had done something wrong. She was extremely unprepared to be trapped in this sort of situation.

"If I was to do something like set fire to a school and try to kill a student, it would only be because of him," she said.

As pleased as they were that Kate had admitted this, Eli and Clare were a bit surprised that she had conceded it so openly. They definitely had to give their admiration to Piper for cornering her so well and giving her no choice but to confess her intentions to the court.

"Interesting," Piper said, now prepared to put the rest of the pieces together for the jury one step at a time. "The police officers found a box of matches on you the night of May 4th. Is that true?"

Kate sat still, praying that the physical evidence did not have to be brought up; that would be the main piece of vital information that could mean the difference between imprisonment and freedom.

"Yes, they did."

"Are you aware that they also found your fingerprints on that box of matches?"

"Yes, because they were my matches," Kate stated.

"And did you use those matches to set fire to a high school?"

Kate was trapped. There was no other way to answer. There was no way out of this. Five minutes ago, she believed that she had a chance and that she would be able to get away with this. Now everything had changed and her only hope was if the jury was empathetic and understood why she committed this crime.

"Miss Parker, did you use one of those matches to set Degrassi Community School on fire?"

Kate had tears in her eyes . . . she knew this was the end and there was no way out unless the jury showed her mercy.

"Yes," she admitted. "But it was only because I loved Eli so much."

Piper saw the tears, but could not classify them as genuine remorse or if she knew she was about to accept defeat. She did not know and it was not her place to say; she had done her job and it was up to the jury to decide the emotion behind those watery eyes.

"No further questions," the attorney declared, feeling fairly more confident in their case now that everyone had heard what Kate had to say.

Eli and Clare, however, were very unsure what this meant for Kate's sentence. Weatherly brought up a couple of points that could make the jury feel empathetic for her while Piper got her on the accounts she could have gotten away with; it was most certainly a fifty/fifty chance.

It was now the time for closing arguments. Piper was the first to give her final words to the jury. She stepped to the front of the jury box and looked at all twelve of them before beginning the last words she would speak in this case.

"If everyone in this world started a fire or wanted to kill someone because of a broken heart or a broken promise, then there would not be many people left on Earth. Katherine Parker should not have endangered a human life because of a promise that was broken or because she lost her chance with a guy; that's a part of life and the best you could do is suck it up and move on. Murder is not the solution to this problem. Thankfully, no one died, but we cannot risk it again. Clare Edwards is an innocent citizen who did _nothing_ wrong; she's in just in love and she should not have to pay because of the defendant's jealously. If Miss Parker is set free onto the streets, she would stop at nothing to get what she wants, even if that means hurting innocent people again. Are you all really going to risk that happening?" she asked of the jury. "Do you want Miss Edwards to pay by living in fear for not doing anything wrong? Or do you want someone who almost took a life, endangering many, to pay the price they deserve? It is out of my hands and the fate of Clare Edwards and Katherine Parker lies on you; I hope you all make the right choice."

Piper then turned away from the jury and resumed her seat with the prosecution. It was now time for the defense to give their closing arguments; Harlan Weatherly readjusted his tie before wandering to the jury box.

"We've all been in love," Weatherly began. "As we all know, it's made us do things we would not usually do under normal circumstances. Am I saying that Miss Parker's actions were right? No. Rational? Almost definitely. She had been in love with one person for over ten years; seeing that person with someone else after such a long time would be devastating. Even worse, that person threw their past away as if it was nothing. Put yourself in Miss Parker's shoes and think about how you would feel if that one person you loved more than you loved yourself refused to give you a chance. Now, I understand that we are all people of the law and no one has the right to be above it, but let's see the reasoning behind this. Think back to your high school days and remember how much you wanted to be with that one person and every day felt like the end of the world because you knew you could not have them. Remember how you would've done _anything_ to be with them or to get them to notice you? Well, Miss Parker has been through something similar, but she had feelings that had resurfaced after ten years. _That_ right there is love that does not die. Katherine Parker has already had her chances of love taken away from her time and again; I hope that you take her freedom away too."

()()

The jury had just returned to the courtroom. It had been two hours since the closing arguments and everyone was beyond ready to hear if they had finally made a decision in regards to Kate's fate.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" Judge Phillips asked.

"We have, your honor," Juror Number One declared before handing an envelope regarding their decision to the bailiff, who took it over to the judge. Every last soul in that courtroom watched as the envelope was passed to the judge and then handed back to the bailiff. No one breathed, no one spoke, and no one had a single aspect on their mind save for what they were about to hear.

"In the case of the People versus Katherine Parker on the accounts of arson in the first degree, how do you find the defendant?" Judge Phillips questioned.

Clare and Eli clutched each other's hands, waiting on pins and needles for the first juror to announce their decision.

"We find the defendant guilty of arson in the first degree," Juror Number One announced.

Clare and Eli looked at each other for a second before holding their hands tighter and turning back to the jury. That was just one of the three charges against them; they waited impatiently to hear the other two verdicts.

"In the account of destruction of property, what's the jury's verdict?"

"We find the defendant guilty of destruction of property."

Clare's heart pounded against her chest while Eli tried to breathe. Everything was starting to overwhelm them; she had now been found guilty on two-thirds of the charges and they just needed one more until she would be put away for forty years.

"In the account of attempted murder, what's the jury's verdict?"

Their hands being glued together, Eli and Clare waited for what seemed like an eternity for Juror Number One to say the single sentence that would determine the rest of their lives. It would decide whether they were going to stay in Toronto and take on the world together or if they would have to change their plans and start over somewhere else. It would decide if they would be looking over their shoulders for many years or if they could live in harmony. Everything in their future depended on the sentence that would escape the juror's lips and they were not in the mood to wait. They wanted the answer and they wanted it now . . .

And that's what they got . . .

Juror Number One announced the verdict at last . . .

"We find the defendant guilty of attempted murder."

Clare's heart all but broke free from her chest as this strange, yet amazing feeling washed over her body. She heard the word "guilty" and she covered her mouth with her hand to muffle the involuntary gasp that she had released. This had to be a dream . . . this was too wonderful to be real . . . this had to be her imagination.

She could not be more wrong.

Kate was guilty . . .

Kate was guilty on all three accounts . . .

The prosecution had won this case . . .

Eli and Clare beamed at each other, tears of relief coming to each of their eyes. She slowly removed her hand from her mouth to reveal her smile to Eli, who returned it. They were so relieved and overcome by joy that they had almost missed the sentencing of the person who had constantly brought hell into their lives.

"Katherine Parker, I hereby sentence you to forty-two years in prison with a chance of parole in thirty-five years," Judge Phillips announced.

Even though they wanted her to go away for life, this was more than enough in Eli and Clare's opinion. They were free of Kate and that was all they had wanted for many months and now that wish was coming true.

Clare, Eli, and the rest of the courtroom watched as an officer took Kate by the arm and put handcuffs on her wrists; Eli and Clare stared at her and she stared back at them. Was this real? Nine months ago, they met Kate at that party and they all became friends. It was almost unbelievable that the same person was now going to prison for attempted murder and other charges.

"Never forget me, Eli," Kate called to him as the officer took her into booking, tears staining her face. "Remember that you loved me first! You always loved me first! And you still do! I know you do!_ You still love me_!"

Eli and Clare sat there, sneering at her as they watched Kate be escorted out of the courtroom. The truth was clear: they were free. They were free from living in worry and free from someone coming between them and trying to end what they had. They were in love, they always will be, and nothing in this world would ever change that.

Katherine Parker would never see the light. She would never understand that Eli would not wait for her or fall in love with her. She would never see that Clare would always be his forever and no one else.

She had left their sight, not knowing when, or if, they would ever see her again. They would remember her, no doubt, but they were not going to let her control their lives like she wanted to. Time was all Kate would take away from them and they would only give her what she deserved in return.

"That is all. Court is adjourned," Judge Phillips declared before slamming his gavel for the final time.

At those words, Clare and Eli sprung to their feet and embraced each other, overjoyed and appeased that this part of their life was officially over and that they never had to do this again.

"Are you okay?" Eli asked.

She nodded, tears of appeasement clouding her vision.

"I told you," he smirked; he heard Clare let out a light chuckle before she held him tighter.

"Thanks for not going anywhere."

"You really think I'd leave you here after everything that's happened?"

She did not respond, mainly because she did not know how to. She released Eli and wiped her eyes, not caring that she had slightly smudged her eye makeup in the process. She was shaking, but, this time, it was not out of dread; it was out of sheer amazement. Continuing to be there out of support for her, Eli put his hand in hers and held it before turning to the lawyer who had made this all possible.

"Thank you," he said to Piper as Clare nodded in agreement.

"It's what I do," Piper grinned at them. "Now, you two go enjoy your summer; God knows you two need it."

As she gathered her belongings and put them in her briefcase, Eli and Clare began following the crowd out of the courtroom, her squeezing his hand all the while.

()()

After little to no convincing, Clare's parents allowed her to stay the night at Eli's, knowing that was where she really wanted to be right now. Bullfrog and CeCe, of course, did not have any problem with this arrangement whatsoever.

As Eli promised, they went to the Dot for lunch and spent the remainder of their day at the abandoned church or at the clearing they discovered back in February. It was perfect and tranquil, which was quite a contrast to the last couple of days. They did not discuss the trial merely because they just wanted to get back to their usual lives as quickly as possible. All they did was relax, talk about anything they could think of, and let all the shock melt away.

They moved straight to his room as night fell, both of them equally exhausted from the last few days' events and were desperate for some sleep. They were so distracted by the outcome of the trial that they did not even think about going by the Edwards's home to pick up sleepwear for Clare; as a solution, Eli gave her a pair of his black boxers and one of his Dead Hand t-shirts.

Clare got changed in the bathroom while Eli put on a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt in his room. He was sitting on the side of his bed, reflecting on the day. It was as though they had just climbed out of the lion's den and were finally able to breathe the clean, harmless air without worry or endless anticipation.

The sound of a door opening and closing brought him back to Earth; he turned to his head to see Clare in his boxers and shirt, the clothes she had been wearing that day draped over her arm.

"Hey," she greeted with a grin.

"Hi," he replied as she rested her clothes over his desk chair.

Eli was pleased to see her smile again; it felt as though he had not seen it for a hundred years. She sat next to him right before he coiled an arm around her waist.

"You don't looked half-bad in my clothes," he complimented her.

She giggled lightly and blushed.

"I'll try to bring some of my clothes over here soon," she said, remembering how they planned for her to spend a few nights here over summer vacation.

"No rush; I have enough here for the both of us."

She smiled before laying her head on his shoulder and picking at a loose thread at the front of his shirt.

"When do you want us to have our first official summer sleepover?" she asked him, wanting to find something to look forward so their lives could return to normal at a faster pace.

"Hmmm . . . how about Thursday?" he proposed. "Right after work we can come here and then not have to worry about work the next day."

"That sounds more than perfect," she agreed, hoping that she would not have to help Randall and Alyson with their wedding.

Before they were able to take their conversation in a different direction, Clare unintentionally let out a yawn that lasted many seconds.

"Someone sounds tired," Eli noted with a small smirk.

Clare grinned with a bit of embarrassment once she was done letting out her sound.

"It's been a crazy last few days."

"Do you want to get some sleep?"

She nodded as she let out another yawn. Continuing to smirk, Eli pulled back the comforter on his bed, allowing the two of them to climb onto the mattress and cover themselves with his blankets.

Clare lied next to Eli, feeling really comfortable in his t-shirt and boxers. Once they were lying down, he wrapped his arms around her and she scooted closer to him. She looped her arm around his waist and she snuggled her head against his covered chest.

"Are you okay?" he asked, combing his fingers through the end of her hair.

She nodded.

"Just relieved that Kate won't do anything to us anymore," she confessed.

Eli gently kissed the top of her head and held her tighter.

"Tomorrow's a new day," he eased her.

She breathed contently as the warmth of his chest transferred into her cheeks.

"Do you think she'll be after us in forty years?" she asked, her older fears becoming reacquainted with her.

"I don't know. But, if she does, I'm not going to let her hurt you again," he said. "I promise."

"You can't make a promise you can't keep," she reminded him, recalling what he had told her when he came to her house last night.

"I'm going to keep it," he told her. "But we can't be worrying about what could happen four decades down the road; a lot can change in that time so we should just hope that things will change and we never see her again."

"Well, as long as we're married by the time she gets out, I'll be alright," she said.

"You'll be just fine, then," he declared.

Smiling at the fact that Eli would, indeed, be her husband of at least three decades by the time Kate was released from prison, she lifted her head from his chest to look at him. She met his green eyes through the dark and gazed into them, thanking God for the blessings she had been receiving; first she was fortunate enough to find Eli and now he was holding her in his arms as they were freed from the curse that was Kate Parker. Being thankful for what she had, she put a kiss on Eli's full lips while he reciprocated. She kissed her future husband, joy and hope for the future going through her blood.

"I love you," she whispered to him as she retracted her lips from his a minute later.

"I love you too," he replied while she nestled her head back over his heart. He began to caress her spine with his hand, causing Clare to grow more tired. She did not complain since she craved sleep and she loved the way Eli was soothing her still tense muscles.

"Clare," he said softly to her.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"You know how Kate said that I love her?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Clare asked, not believing Kate had the nerve to say that.

"You know it's not true, right?"

"I know," she said.

Relieved that she knew it was not the truth, Eli continued to massage her back.

"And you know that I love you more than anyone?"

"Mm-hmm," she admitted coyly, knowing this was true due to all the times he had told her this.

"And that I want to marry you one day?"

"Mm-hmm," she hummed again.

"And that I can only see myself spending the rest of my life with you?"

Clare smiled as her cheeks turned the shade of a pink rose. He saw her face and knew that his answer was right there.

"Goodnight, Elijah."

"Goodnight, Edwards."

Continuing to grin, she got as comfortable as possible in Eli's arms as they both prepared to fall asleep. They closed their eyes, pleased that they did not have to wake up tomorrow morning to face lawyers or their nemesis; they will awake the next morning in each other's arms, their summer together being the only thing that would matter to them. Keeping this in mind, Clare and Eli fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep for the first time in days.

* * *

"_When your life feels lost_

_Fight against all odds_

_Never give in_

_Never back down"_

_~"Never Give In" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

This is a good stopping point if you choose to not read this story any further! If you want to continue, here's a bit of what to expect: Alli/Clare friendship, Adam/Eli friendship, a fair few EClare summer love chapters, a bit of future planning for a certain couple, tearjerkers, and moments of pure humor (which is actually how I started on this site. Oh, the parody writing days, I remember them well . . .)

Good news: spring break started for me today and I'm going to go visit my best friend, GrippoMustaine1996, for a few days! I'm really excited since I haven't seen her in a long time! This probably means I won't update Friday, so sorry about that, but time with my best friend (who is like a sister to me) is really important, so I'm putting this on the backburner until I get back. I'll update as soon as I can and then continue updating on Fridays until the season's over!

Keep on the lookout for The Cliffhanger Girl and I's collaboration ("Trespasser") on April 7th!

Reviews please!


	95. Taking Chances

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for your reviews everyone! Thankfully, I was quick and was able to finish this by the time I got back from my best friend's house! I had a great time with her! Check her out: GrippoMustaine1996!

Shout out to Crissychan350! I loved your review and I'm glad you like this story so far! And thanks for reviewing "Teardrops on My Cello".

This chapter is dedicated to Jordan! Your review made me smile so wide that I thought it was going to split my face open! And this story got you addicted to Automatic Loveletter? YAY! I love them (along with ETF and BVB). And, don't worry, this story won't be ending anytime soon!

:) [My face at the end of tonight's episode]

Disclaimer: I don't eat cabbage and I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter Ninety-Five

Taking Chances

To say that everything was perfect would be the biggest understatement of the century to Eli and Clare. For the first time in what felt like a thousand years, nothing was going wrong. With Kate behind bars and summer vacation just beginning, they saw nothing but a fresh start. They spent as much of their weekend as possible together and continued to make time for each other whenever they weren't working at the Dot. They did not start their shifts until the late afternoon, so they were together then they were also able to spend time with Adam.

Wednesday was soon upon them, but the trio was not hanging out together. Clare had to help her dad and Alyson with their wedding preparations before she had to go to work, so it was just Eli and Adam today. They were in Eli's room reading comics; Adam was lounging on Eli's bed while Eli sat at his desk.

"Did you hear that the guy who created The Joker died a few months back?" Adam asked, admiring the character's animation.

"Yeah," he sighed. "A small part of me died that day."

"Same here," he agreed. "But at least his work will live on."

"At least," Eli echoed.

The tone of a message alert interrupted their thoughts before either of them could speak again.

"That's me," Adam said in explanation for the noise as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Eli allowed him to answer the text and continued to read the comic until he heard Adam let out a bark of laughter.

"That's great," he heard Adam say.

"Who's that from?" he asked.

"Alli," he answered as he replied.

"You two are finally talking again?"

"Yeah," he answered. "When you and Clare were prepping for court, I took your advice and asked her if she wanted to go to the Dot with me and we've been texting ever since."

"Hold up!" Eli said, turning all the way around in his desk chair to face Adam. "You had a date with Alli and you kept it secret?"

"It wasn't a date," Adam stated as he put his phone away. "We just went as friends."

"Did you two talk about your make-out session?"

"It was _not_ a make-out session," Adam informed. "It was a goodnight kiss after prom. And no, we didn't talk about it."

"Why not?" he inquired of Adam, tossing the comic on his desk.

"Well, we've been worried about the trial; we were too busy hoping that the person who wanted to kill one of our best friends wouldn't be set loose."

"The trial was over days ago," Eli said. "You guys had plenty of time to talk about it."

"I don't know how to bring it up."

"Dude, you can't just kiss her and act like nothing's happened; that's just going to confuse her."

"I just don't want to talk about it with her until I'm sure of my feelings for her."

"You still haven't figured out if you like her or not then, huh?" he assumed.

"I'm trying to get to know her," Adam explained. "I don't want to get feelings for her after one date and one kiss because I may get disappointed when I see that she's not my type."

"Maybe you should tell her that so she doesn't think you're leading her on."

"What do I say? 'Alli, I kissed you because I think I'm getting feelings for you. But I'm not sure, so can we go out on a few dates to see if you're my type?'"

"It's a start," Eli nodded.

"I'm _not_ saying that!" he refused instantly. "She'll think I'm a jerk."

"Not if you rearrange your words and say it nicely," he reminded.

"It's not exactly something I want to say to the first girl who I could have a chance with since grade eleven."

"You can't just leave her hanging; she's probably just as confused by the kiss as you are. Some sort of reassurance that you actually care about it may help her."

"Then what do you think I should do?"

"_Talk to her_! That's the only way you're going to solve anything."

"But I don't want to be a douche to her."

"Then how about this? You ask her out on a date; not coffee at the Dot, but a _real_ date, like dinner or something, and you see if you guys click romantically."

"You see, I would do that if I knew she wouldn't reject me."

"Try asking her out anyway; she might agree to it."

"What if I do, she says no, and we're strangers forever?"

"Why would she say no?" Eli said.

"Well, the fact that I may barf after asking her out may be a reason."

"You're overthinking this."

"No, if anything, I'm _under_ thinking this!"

"Okay, breathe."

Adam breathed in and out as Eli instructed, his nerves still sky-high. Eli watched him, making sure that he was not going to start panicking again. Once Adam was calm, he did not hesitate to propose what they should do to solve Adam's ambiguity.

"Clare's her best friend; if I ask her what she thinks, will you consider picking up the phone and asking Alli out? Or talk to her about the kiss at least?"

Adam lied still, deep in thought; it would be soothing to know if he had a chance and the subject of the kiss was not going to disappear until he confronted it. If talking to a mutual party was the only way to begin resolving all of this, then maybe that was the best thing to do.

"Maybe," he said.

Eli then took his phone off his desk and dialed Clare's number through speed dial, hoping that he would not be disturbing anything really important for the wedding.

"Hi," she greeted after two rings.

"Hey," he replied. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No. I'm just picking up some coffee for me, Dad, Alyson, and Melissa."

"Fun," he said sarcastically.

"Actually, I volunteered," she said. "I could not spend another second with them without ripping my hair out."

"Ouch," he said.

Before he could say another word, Adam hit him in the upper arm with the back of his hand; Eli turned to him, seeing his impatient eyes as he sat on the edge of the mattress.

"I'm getting to it," he said quietly.

"What's up?" Clare asked.

"It seems that our friend Adam is getting feelings for –."

"Alli?" she said before Eli could say it.

"How did you know?"

"I'm a girl; it's a sixth sense to tell if a best friend is crushing on another best friend."

"Well, he's not exactly crushing yet; he wants to get to know her a bit more."

"Good idea," she agreed. "Neither of them has dated in a while; they don't want to rush into anything."

"I agree, but he's thinking about taking her on an actual date to see if they'll work romantically. Do you think she'll go with him if he asked her?"

"Hmm . . . maybe," she said, continuing to step down the street at a moderate pace. "She told me that she thinks that he's an awesome guy."

"Sweet," he said.

"But she told me that she's not willing to make the first move; she hasn't been in a relationship since Drew and she wants to know that he is really interested in her before they take the next step."

"And Adam's not going to ask her unless he's sure she'll say yes."

"What's she saying? What's she saying?" Adam said, but Eli was too busy listening to Clare to hear him.

"Well, then we have a problem."

Eli was silent, wishing that getting his friends to go on a date together would be easy . . . then an epiphany struck him.

"Maybe not. I have a way for them to go out without either of them asking the other out."

"How?" Adam and Clare chorused, not sure if they should be intrigued or worried, considering Eli's plans were not always foolproof.

"I'm going to work my magic."

"But how exactly do you plan on getting them to go out if they're both playing chicken?" Clare asked, seeing a coffee shop and making her way towards it.

"I have an idea," he stated; Clare could practically see the maniacal smirk on his lips.

"Another double date?" she guessed.

"You know me so well," he said with a lopsided grin.

"What? What's your idea?" Adam asked eagerly.

"And they'll be doubling with you and me?" Clare conjectured.

"That's what I was hoping."

"Are you serious?"

"You don't think it's a good idea?"

"It's not that I don't think it's a good idea, it's just that the last double date we went on did not end the way we wanted it to."

"Yes, but the person who's coming with us this time is not delusional."

"Look, I want them to talk too, but forcing them to do that is not going to make anything better."

"Then we won't force them; we'll just hang out casually."

Clare moved toward the building, seeing Eli's argument and soon saw this plan as flawless, not bothering to consider that anything could go wrong.

"Okay, I'm in," she agreed.

"I love you," he smiled, relieved that she agreed to the plan.

"I love you too. I'm sorry, but I gotta go," she said, stepping inside the coffee shop.

"Okay, I'll see you at work. Bye."

"Bye."

Eli hung up the phone and turned back to his bed to see an anxious Adam sitting impatiently on his bed.

"What did she say?"

"She said she's not sure if Alli likes you or not, but she said that you're an awesome guy."

Although that was not exactly the answer Adam was hoping for, it was better than what he was expecting, so he felt a small grin tug at his lips.

"So it's a possibility?"

"I think so, but . . . she wants you to make the first move," Eli said, telling Adam what Clare said to him. Disappointed at his friend's words, Adam groaned and fell back onto Eli's mattress.

"I was afraid of that."

"It won't be that bad."

"Unless she rejects me and laughs in my face."

"Come on, be realistic," Eli said. "She's not going to laugh in your face if she rejects you."

"You're a comfort," Adam said, sarcasm forming in his tone.

"She won't," he restated.

Adam then found himself wishing that he had more experience with this stuff and dated more in high school just so he would not have this problem right now.

"What should I do?"

Eli was not going to stand to see Adam so upset any longer, so he knew the time has come to reveal his plan.

"I'll tell you what you should do: nothing."

Adam sat up abruptly, not believing what he just heard.

"A week ago you were telling me to text her and ask her to go out with her to the Dot and now you want me to do _nothing_?"

"Not exactly nothing," Eli clarified. "However, _I _plan on picking up my phone and inviting her to come to dinner with Clare, me, and you."

"What?" he said, his eyes widening.

"Yep," he nodded. "We're doubling up."

"Not another double date, Eli," he said in disbelief.

"Why not another double date?"

"Do you remember what happened last time we went on a double date?"

"Yes, and, if you were ready to date and if Kate wasn't a complete nutcase, I think it would've been a success."

"You're crazy," he said.

"I prefer insanely brilliant," Eli corrected.

"Whatever you are, I'm _not_ going on another one of those; it was weird enough with someone I despised, but I like this girl! I'm going to be a nervous wreck!"

"But if you don't face this head-on, those nerves are just going to get bigger and bigger until you snap."

Adam had no idea what to do. Would this help? Make things worse? He had no clue and being thrown into this whirlwind was making him more freaked out about this possible relationship.

"Forget it," he declared.

Eli stood up and faced Adam, determined to convince him that this plan could work. He knew that Adam was just getting anxious about experiencing something he had not been through in over a year and he was not going to let his fears get the best of him. Sure, he wasn't the best of friends with Alli, but she seemed nice and he was not going to let Adam's chance at a relationship slip away.

"Think about this: Clare will be there and she has a better hold on this relationship stuff than any of us; if things start going bad, then it's her to the rescue and I'll try my best to not let there be any awkward silences."

"We're not in middle school, Eli. Hell, we're not even in _high_ _school_ anymore; I shouldn't need you and Clare there to help me."

"This is just to get you two more comfortable with each other, to get you two talking about your kiss, and to figure out your feelings for each other; the next time you like a girl, or ask this one out, you'll be flying solo."

"Do you really think I'm that hopeless that I can't get through a date on my own?"

"No, I think you can do this by yourself if you wanted to. This is the only way I can get you guys in a room together without making it completely awkward for the two of you; think of me as your personal Yoda."

"Yoda has nothing to do with this!"

"It's a figure of speech," Eli said. "Look, you don't have to do anything except show up to the date and have a great time."

Adam glared at Eli and crossed his arms.

"You're not seriously thinking about calling her are you?"

"Actually . . ."

Before Adam could analyze what was happening, Eli snatched his phone from his desk and bolted to the bathroom.

"ELI!" Adam hollered, knowing why he was escaping. He sprinted after him, only to be face-to-face with the bathroom door. "ELI! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

He reached for the handle and tried twisting it, only to discover that Eli had locked it from the inside. Panicking, he began hammering on the door.

"GOLDSWORTHY! GOLDSWORTHY, YOU'D BETTER NOT DO IT!"

On the other side of the door, Eli was standing in the bathroom, plugging his finger against his ear to muffle Adam's demands while he waited for Alli to answer her cell phone.

"Hello," her voice greeted him after three rings.

"Hey, Alli, it's Eli."

"Hi. Uh . . . what's that noise?" Alli asked.

"Oh, my dad's redoing the bathroom," he lied. "Listen, do you have any plans Friday?"

"No. Why?" she asked.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner with me, Clare, and Adam at Little Miss Steaks on Friday."

"All four of us?" she said, trying to keep the apprehension out of her voice.

"Yeah," he answered, hoping that she would not figure out that the noise was coming from a protesting Adam. "You know, me and Clare . . . you and Adam . . . Adam and you, all hanging out."

"You mean like a date?"

"Something like that," he said casually. "But it's mainly four friends going out."

He let Alli think about it as he listened to Adam trying to stop him on the other side of the door.

"Is Adam okay with it?" Alli then asked.

"Oh yeah, he's totally cool with it," Eli said.

"ELI!" Adam shouted. "ELI, I SWEAR, IF YOU –!"

"Is that Adam?" Alli asked.

"No, my dad just needs my assistance and I'm taking too long," he said. "So does Friday work?"

"Um . . . yeah, Friday sounds great," she agreed.

Eli grinned, pleased to see that his plan was unfolding before his very eyes.

"Great, see you then."

"Bye," Alli said.

Eli hung up the phone, proud of his accomplishment.

"ELI! IF YOU DON'T COME OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW –!" Adam threatened. But, before he could get another word out, Eli emerged from the bathroom, a victorious grin plastered to his face.

"Clear your schedule, Mr. Torres; we have a date at Little Miss Steaks Friday night with our ladies," he informed his friend.

Adam stood there as Eli passed him, absolutely astounded that Eli actually called Alli and asked her to go with them. Part of him really wanted to punch Eli in the face while the other part wanted to bow down to him . . . but he would never give him the satisfaction if he could avoid it. He followed Eli back to his room, still in shock at what just happened.

"I can't believe . . . you are . . . you just . . . _Eli_!"

"You'll be thanking me later," he said, sitting back in his chair, putting his feet on his desk, and intertwining his hands behind his head.

It seemed that Eli had everything figured out, but Adam was not so sure. In his experience with double dates, he could see this night playing out in his mind and he predicted nothing but trouble.

"Eli, remember the last time we did something like this? _My_ _date_ broke you and Clare up," he said, determined to make his opinions heard.

"We did not break up; we were on a break. But Alli's different; she wants me and Clare to be together, ergo she won't do anything to us."

"But what if it's a total disaster? What if we end up hating each other? What if she never wants to see me again? What if it is so awkward that our friendship goes down the drain?"

"All I'm hearing from you is negativity," Eli observed. "Will it kill you to think of something positive? Think of all the good stuff that can come from it."

"But –."

"Just do it."

Adam's wheels began turning; maybe Alli was as interested in getting to know him as much as he wanted to learn more about her. Maybe something good could come of this; they could end up a couple or just very good friends. As long as they still talked and were friends, he would be happy, so he was more than willing to discuss their situation together when the time was right. However, this double date was still unsettling to him.

"Okay, but why double date?"

"I thought it would take the pressure off," he shrugged.

Adam did not agree; in fact, he thought it was just the opposite.

"Dude, Alli and I have not dated anyone in forever, but you and Clare have been together for a year and a half."

"So?" he asked blankly.

"So that's probably going to be weird. Think about it: power couple versus rookies."

"That makes no sense."

"Alright," Adam said, beginning to explain his reasoning, "you and Clare have that kind of relationship when you flirt with each other all the time. Even when you don't mean to, you do. Imagine how weird it will be for me and Alli if we have to watch you and Clare act like the devoted couple you are while she and I try to figure out our relationship. That's going to make us feel weird about everything when we don't know what the hell is going on with us. Plus it'll be a bit hard for us to try and figure things out with our two best friends sitting there in front of us, listening to our entire conversation."

Eli heard what Adam had to say and began feeling a bit bad for putting them in that position. He wanted this date to make them feel better and more comfortable, not the opposite. He could not believe he did not consider these factors before he made the call, but how else was he going to get the two of them in the same room?

"Alright, I see your point," Eli said, trying to find a solution to this problem. He sat silently for a minute when he shot straight up in his chair and snapped his fingers. "I got it."

"Uh-oh," Adam said; only Eli would think of so many schemes in less than an hour.

"No, hear me out," he said, overlooking his friend's negativity. "Clare and I will go with you and we'll all just hang as friends for a while. Then, right before our food comes, Clare starts feeling sick, I get our food to go, we leave you and Alli, the two of you are alone for the rest of the night. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, you have a great date."

Adam sat there, replaying the plan in his head. To his surprise, it was completely brilliant.

"You're a genius."

"I know," he said cockily.

"Will Clare go along with it?"

"You and Alli are her best friends; I'm sure she'll be willing to do it if it means you guys will have fun on your date."

What neither of them knew was that the girls were also making a plan of their own that could Eli's plot in jeopardy . . .

()()

The minute after Eli called her, Alli dialed Clare's number and told her everything. She was unsure if she should be looking forward to this date or completely dreading it. She did want to talk to Adam and, when they were both ready, she wanted to discuss their relationship, but now they were thrust into this double date and she did not know what to expect. Were they going to talk then? Were they going to decide the fate of their relationship? If so, she only had a bit less than two days to figure out her feelings.

Clare listened while waiting in line at the coffee shop as Alli ranted, waiting for a pause so she could tell her friend that everything was going to be fine.

"I don't want it to ruin our friendship or anything, but I'm not sure if we should be a couple or not. I mean, he hasn't shown interest in being more, so what should I do?"

"Relax," Clare instructed. "We're just going out to have some fun; besides, you and Adam need to hang out more if you guys are ever going to get over the boundaries you guys have set up. You guys haven't talked about the kiss or anything, but you're going to need to eventually; this may be what you guys need to break the ice."

"I don't know if this is a good idea," she admitted bluntly.

"Do you not want to go?" she asked.

"I do . . . but me and Adam . . . it could be weird being on a real date since we haven't talked about the kiss."

"I thought you guys were texting every night now."

"Yeah, but it's all small talk; we've never talked about that and we've never really had long conversations."

"Oh," Clare said. If she had known her best friend felt this way around Adam, she never would've agreed to this. Maybe they all should have just kept spending time together as friends and see what happened from there; it probably would've been better for their nerves. "Well . . . just be yourself, act casual, and hope for the best."

"But this isn't just a mall date or a date for prom; this could get really weird if we don't have anything to talk about or if everything starts to go wrong."

"I know, but Eli and I will be there the _whole_ time from start to finish; we'll make sure there're no awkward silences or anything."

"Really?" she said.

"We're doubling up, aren't we? Don't worry, we'll be there if things start going south."

Alli sighed in relief, pleased that she would not have to face anything uncomfortable without her best friend.

"Thank you, Clare. You are the _best_."

"No problem. Don't worry; everything is going to be fine."

()()

Still unaware that Clare had promised Alli something completely different from what he promised Adam, Eli stepped into the Dot to start his shift hours later. He was so pleased that Adam was still completely onboard with this double date. All he needed was to discuss a few details with Clare about them leaving early and then everything would be ready to go.

"Hello, Miss Edwards," he greeted her after she finished attending to some customers.

"A pleasure as always, Mr. Goldsworthy," she replied as the two of them stepped behind the counter. Thankfully, it was a slow day at the Dot, so all the customers were taken care of for now and the two of them did not have to do anything until new people came in.

"So, you still want to go through with this double date?"

"Surprisingly, I do," she said, keeping in mind that Alli would probably benefit from this. "How about Adam?"

"Oh, he's all in," Eli replied. "A bit nervous, but he's looking forward to it."

"That's what Alli said when she called me a couple of hours ago."

"Does she want to figure out what happened because of their kiss and everything?"

"Definitely," Clare answered.

"Good, because I have this idea that could help with that," Eli began.

He then told her his plan about how they would go to Little Miss Steaks with Adam and Alli, spend time with them, and then how they would tell them that they had to leave because she was feeling sick.

". . . By the end of the night, we go away and they have the rest of the night to themselves and they can talk without us overhearing anything. What do you think?"

By the time he was done, Clare was the main flaw in this plan.

"Um . . . that's a good idea, but . . . I kind of told Alli that we would be there the whole time."

"Oh," Eli said, not seeing this coming. "Well that's a problem. But . . . I'm sure she'll understand if you have to leave if you start feeling 'sick'." He put air quotes around the word "sick".

Clare could not believe her ears. Was he really suggesting that they leave early to put their best friends through a less than uncomfortable date?

"I can't do that to her."

"But what about Adam?" he said. "He doesn't want us hearing their conversations if they get personal."

"I understand that, but Alli doesn't want anything too weird and we shouldn't put them through that."

"Whether they like it or not, things are going to get weird until they figure out their relationship, which they won't do unless they're _alone_."

"But I can't lie to Alli," she said, not wanting to plot behind her back when she already promised her to stay through the entire date.

"It's not a lie," Eli defended. "We're just leaving the nest so the baby birds can learn to fly."

"No, the babies are supposed to stay in the nest _with _the parents until _they're_ ready to fly; we can't just abandon them."

"It's not abandoning," he stated. "We are simply . . . leaving them there alone so they can get to know each other."

Clare rolled her eyes, not wanting to put anyone in an awkward situation.

"Look, Alli feels like it would be less pressure if we're with them."

"And Adam thinks it would be less pressure if we're not with them."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"It does in Adam's head."

Clare groaned in annoyance, seeing that not everyone was going to get what they wanted.

"This is why you need to stop scheming so much," she said, seeing the new world of trouble they had to deal with because of her boyfriend's plans.

"You might as well tell me to stop breathing."

She chuckled and rolled her eyes, playfully this time.

"You are such a drama queen," she accused him.

"Ego bruiser," he stated.

"Toughen up," she dared him kiddingly.

He chuckled lightly before leaning his back on the counter and using his elbows to support him.

"Look, everyone wins this way," he stated. "If we stay for a few minutes, Alli and Adam will get comfortable and then, when we leave, they'll be able to enjoy themselves."

"You don't know that," she argued. "The second we leave, they could start feeling weird about being alone together."

"Well, if they want to be together, they'll have to get over that."

"I'm just saying it'll take the pressure off if we stay."

"And we will for half an hour," Eli said.

"You really think that'll be long enough?"

"Remember when I went to dinner with you and your parents months back? Once we got over the weirdness, we were cool."

"And do you really think you would've survived that if I wasn't with you?"

"No, but that's my point; we need to stay with them long enough for them to get comfortable around each other, but not long enough for them to become dependent on us."

Clare stood there, trying to think about everything. Eli did have a few valid reasons for them to go along with his plan, but she was unsure.

"What if we leave and something bad happens?"

"Nothing bad is going to happen. If we just stay there for thirty minutes, it'll give them a peace of mind and takes the pressure off them, but, once we leave, they could do whatever their little hearts desire. Besides, we both know that they need to talk about their kiss and they aren't going to do it while we're there."

That was the final card he had to play until she was sold; she had no idea how Eli was always able to convince her of these things, but he did. She did feel a bit angry at herself about going behind Alli's back to do this, but it was for the best and it was probably going to do more good in the end.

"I hate it when you're right sometimes."

"Does that mean we'll be going through with my plan?"

Not really wanting to surrender but seeing the benefits in Eli's arrangement, she let out a breath of air.

"Clare Edwards reporting for duty, sir," she saluted. Eli tried his best not to snort in amusement, but it was not an easily accomplished task.

"Welcome aboard," he said once he was able to regain his composure.

"_But_," Clare began, determined to get a few points across, "if we leave early, I want to be sure that Alli is comfortable enough around Adam for them to be left alone. And we can't say I'm feeling sick; it's been done too many times and Alli would know that we're up to something. When, and _only_ when, I think she'll be okay, I'll do something that'll get us to leave."

"What will it be?"

"If I told you, you'll be expecting it and we need it to look natural. But you have to wait until I mention leaving so we can be on the same page."

Eli smiled, admiring Clare's brilliance

"You're becoming more and more devious every day."

"It's one of those nasty habits I pick up from you."

Eli smirked and stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I am one lucky guy," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

"Because you have a girlfriend who is willing to go along with your harebrained schemes?" she asked, giving him a smirk of her own.

"Because I have the best girlfriend ever," he broadened.

Her smirk morphed into an appreciative smile before she turned around and put her hands on the counter behind her.

"I can't wait till our sleepover tomorrow," she said.

"Me neither," he agreed. "And my parents are going to be out, so it's just going to be you and me as soon as work's over."

"Sounds great," she said, not being able to hide her smile. Their lips were about to touch when . . .

"Lovebirds, you're still on the clock," Peter reminded the couple as he stepped by them.

"Sorry," Clare said as Eli released her and she saw a few other people enter. She gave Eli a final smile before grabbing her notepad and walking into the serving area. She went to the newest table of customers, anticipating this double date and, even more so, her sleepover at Eli's tomorrow night.

* * *

"_But what do you say to taking chances? _

_What do you say to jumping off the edge?"_

_~"Taking Chances" by Celine Dion_

* * *

Funny fact: I've never really shipped Adam or Alli with anyone. Okay, I shipped her with Johnny and Dave a bit, but I never really sailed their ships. I just think it would be interesting to see EClare's best friends exploring a something like this. I got a few ideas (and there's still A LOT of EClare to come)!

Recommendation: _THE HUNGER GAMES_! It's been a while since I've read a book as amazing as this one! I can't wait to finish the trilogy (no _Catching Fire _or _Mockingjay _spoilers please)!

Reviews please!


	96. Mine

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

SOMEBODY PINCH ME! OVER 1,100! Thank you SO MUCH for the reviews! A lot of them made me smile and one made me laugh this time around. Nothing but smiles here!

Huge thanks to The Cliffhanger Girl for reading over this chapter before I published it! Thanks girl! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I want a sandwich. Wait, that's not a disclaimer . . . oh yeah, I don't own Degrassi (now _that's_ a disclaimer).

* * *

Chapter Ninety-Six

Mine

Clare was more than excited the next morning when she awoke; she was going to spend the day at home, go to work, and then go back to Eli's house for their first official sleepover of the summer. This fact gave her a delightful mood that she would hold onto for the rest of the day. Remaining in such high spirits, Clare began to prepare everything she would be taking to Eli's that night. She was now packing her duffle with all the things she would need to take plus a few extra clothes; since it was their first sleepover, Clare decided to bring the clothes she would be moving into his room with her so this would be the only time she would need to bring clothes in her bag. She was packing and smiling until she heard her phone start to ring. She quickly dropped a pair of socks in the bag before retrieving her phone from her nightstand.

"Hello," Clare answered.

"Clare, I really need to talk to you!" Alli said, her voice full of panic.

"Are you okay?" she asked, sitting down on her bed in concern.

"I don't know. I just keep thinking about this date tomorrow and . . . I don't know how to handle it."

"Calm down," she eased her.

"I've been trying, but all I can think about is going to this dinner tomorrow and I'm worried that it'll be all weird and everything."

"It may be that way at first, but that'll soon go away when you and Adam get comfortable with each other."

"I'm really, really, really nervous, Clare. I don't want to give him the wrong idea in case he _does _like me in that way, but I want to be sure so that way I know if I should give him signals or something."

"Alli, it'll be fine; the important thing is that you guys have fun."

"What if something goes wrong? What if we don't speak to each other?"

"You will, don't worry," she said. "Once the conversations start up, it'll be smooth sailing. Trust me, everything will be fine tomorrow."

"I hope so," Alli said. "Maybe if I don't think about it for a while I'll be fine."

"Exactly," Clare agreed. "Just do something fun to get your mind off it."

"In that case, do you want to go catch a movie or something after you get off work?" she invited.

"I would any other time, but I'm actually spending the night at Eli's," Clare informed.

"Oh really?" she said with a grin. "You two are having a sleepover?"

"Yes."

"And it'll just be the two of you in his room, in his bed, all night long?"

"I think so," Clare answered, now having a hunch as to where this was going.

"Are you still . . . you know . . . _interested_?" she emphasized, recalling what Clare had told her nearly two weeks ago about how much she wanted to get intimate with Eli.

"He's my future husband, Alli; of course I am."

"Have you told him that you want to do certain things as long is doesn't lead to sex?"

"No," Clare admitted.

"Why?"

"We've been working, we had to go to court, and . . . I'm worried that he'll turn me down."

"Clare, be serious."

"I am being serious."

"Then be logical. Eli won't turn you down if it's nothing too extreme."

Clare still wanted to do more with Eli, but she did not know when she would be crossing a line or if she was not going far enough. She thought that being with Eli for so long and making love to him on two separate nights would make these decisions easier, but it only made them more tedious since she knew what it felt like to go all the way.

"How would I tell him?"

"Actions speak louder than words; once the mood is right, do what you think is best."

_Which is what_? Clare thought in her head.

"I'll try, but I don't want to make a fool of myself; he's already cautious enough as it is when it comes to this stuff and I don't want to give him a reason to act that way until we're married."

"Just go with your gut, Clare," she advised. "And it's just Eli, so it should be more comfortable to do. That's the important thing, right?"

"Yeah, but . . ." She let a groan finish her sentence, cursing her sexual frustrations. She fell backwards onto her mattress, wishing she had pondered more on this before going to Eli's house, where they would be alone for the entire night. "Why do these things have to be so complicated?"

"That's love and life for you," Alli sighed empathetically. "Are his parents going to be home?"

"No," Clare answered.

"Well, that will give you guys a bit of privacy. Then you can talk to him about . . . _stuff_."

Alli was right; they were going to be alone and tonight would be the perfect moment for Clare to discuss this with him.

"We'll see," she said before looking at her alarm clock and noticing that she had to be at work within fifteen minutes. "I need to get going."

"Alright, but do you want to come over before the date tomorrow?"

"Sure, sounds great," Clare agreed.

"Cool, I'll see you then."

"See you then."

"And I want details about your night with Eli," Alli added.

"Bye, Alli," Clare sang before hanging up the phone.

()()

The possibility of having to talk to Eli later still remained in her head, but she decided to focus more on the fact that they would actually be alone in his house tonight. They would be away from the rest of the universe and they would be spending the night together, and that gave her the feeling of being on cloud nine. She could not describe how ecstatic she was that she would be spending alone time with Eli and they could spend all their time in the world together.

At long last, they finished closing up the Dot and were ready to go back to Eli's. They arrived at his house, happiness and mild excitement raging inside them; it may not have been their first time having a sleepover together, but it was the first time they planned one, so it was thrilling for them. They walked to his house, Eli carrying Clare's duffle bag all the while.

Just as Eli had told her the day before, his parents were absent from the house and the place was completely empty except for the two of them. They went up to Eli's room, smiles on their faces and her hand in his.

"Welcome back to the Hotel Eli," he said as they entered his room.

"Good to be back," she said.

"Now our first official summer sleepover can officially begin," he proclaimed as he put her bag on his bed and then took her hands; she smiled at him before allowing her lips to meet his.

"I've been looking forward to this all week," she said to him once the kiss finished.

"Me too. Now, first things first," he said, digging in his pocket for a second before extracting a key from it. He took Clare's right hand before placing the key in her palm; a bemused grin came to her face as he laid the metal object on her skin.

"A key?" she said, hoping that he would explain.

"_Your_ key," he corrected. "If you ever need to come over and none of us are here or it's late at night, you can let yourself in."

"Will CeCe and Bullfrog be okay with that?" Clare asked, feeling a bit weird about her coming into an empty house that did not belong to her.

"Absolutely," he said. "I would say that our door is always open for you, but that kind of defeats the purpose of the key."

Clare giggled at his statement.

"Thanks," she said. Clare accepted the key, knowing that she would not come over unless Eli was there as well or she was visiting CeCe and Bullfrog while their son was in Ottawa. She appreciated the gesture, however; plus, she might actually need to use it one day in case more drama with her future stepmother came along.

"A home away from home," she smiled.

"If you want to think of it that way," he accepted with a shrug. "Okay, next thing . . ."

He stepped over to his dresser and pulled open the second drawer; Clare stood next to him and saw that it was completely bare.

"And if there's not enough room, the one on the bottom is practically empty."

"Thanks," she said, still amazed that Eli was serious about this even though he told her about this drawer three months ago.

She began laying all the garments in the drawer and it wasn't long until Eli started helping her. She tried her best to keep all undergarments out of his sight, but she was unsuccessful; while she was laying a pair of shorts away, Eli was at her bag and was preparing to bring over the last pair of pajamas when a white lace brassiere caught his eye. It was lying on the ground, so he assumed that Clare must've accidentally dropped it. He could not help but smirk at the sight of it as it lied innocently on his floor. He looked over at Clare, who was laying the shorts down, and saw that she was too distracted to notice what he was looking at.

"Drop something, Edwards?" he asked, picking it up off the ground by a strap, not being able to hold back his grin.

She looked over her shoulder and saw him holding up her undergarment with a smirk on his face.

"Oh!" she interjected involuntarily. She snatched it out of his hand and turned red before stuffing it in the drawer.

"It's not the first time I've seen your bra, Clare," he reminded her as she faced him, her face still beet red.

"Only two times," she said, recalling when they got caught by Adam while both of them were shirtless in the back of Morty and again the night after her disastrous dinner with Alyson.

"But I've seen others before as well," he stated, handing her the pajamas he was still holding.

"Alright . . . but I'm not going to find out that you're one of those guys who steals their girlfriend's underwear, am I?" she asked, placing the last of the clothing in the drawer.

"I'm not _that_ creepy; I prefer to admire from afar . . . for the most part anyway."

Reassured but still slightly flustered, Clare felt her face turn back to its usual shade before closing the drawer and returning to stand next to his bed.

"One last order of business," he said before walking over to his desk and retrieving a medium sized cardboard box from under it. He walked back over to Clare presented the box to her.

Curious, she looked inside and saw shampoo, conditioner, a toothbrush, towels, and other necessary hygiene products.

"What's all this?" she asked.

"I was thinking that this way you wouldn't have to leave just to take a shower and you wouldn't have to bring stuff from your house."

She looked at the box, speechless that he actually bought all of this for her.

"Did I go overboard with this?" he asked when she did not speak, worried that she thought that his actions were stepping over some sort of line.

"Not at all," she assured, looking up at him. "I'm just . . . this is great."

"Well, in that case, happy one year and six month anniversary."

"What?" she said, disbelieved that so much time has passed since their six month anniversary a year ago today. "It's June 14th already?"

"Yep," he answered. "And, if you think about it, we'll be husband and wife and be on our honeymoon six years from tonight."

Recalling how they agreed that they will be married on this day six years in the future, Clare smiled, wishing to fast-forward to that day.

"I can't believe I didn't realize it."

How could she have not remembered the significance of this day? Eli gotten her all of these items and did so much just so they could spend more time together and she had not done anything for him in return, especially on this day. Eli may have said consistently that he did not need anything done, but she wanted to and she wanted to do so now more than ever.

"Alright, you know I keep saying that I will do something for you?"

"Not this again," he said with a small laugh.

"Well, this is an important day for us and I want to something special for it."

"If you want to do something special to celebrate, we can go to dinner or something," he suggested.

"But everything you've done here is enough for me, so now I want to do something for you for all you've done for me _plus_ our year and a half."

"This isn't that much," he said, believing that she deserved so much more than what he had given her tonight.

"Eli, you bought tampons," she said, gesturing the box. "You deserve something."

"You've be saying this months."

"I know, but I want it to be really special. And it would be a lot easier to think of if _someone _could try and cooperate and tell me what they would want me to do for them," she emphasized.

"I'm sorry, but I stand by my original argument: I'm happy and I don't need anything to be done."

He put the box next to him on the ground. Once his arms were free, he wrapped them around her waist; he took Clare's lips in for a kiss before carefully easing her down onto the bed until he was on top of her. He put every last bit of love, happiness, and desire into this kiss. He retracted his lips from Clare before resting his forehead against hers and continuing what he was saying.

"All I need is my best girl," he promised before kissing her cheek, then jaw, then neck. "Who is also the one for me . . . and the love of my life."

Clare grinned as he kissed her skin. He did not bite, suck, or anything; he simply kissed her repeatedly and she loved the feeling of it.

"I love you," she told him.

"I love you too," he said before kissing her lips. "And I love you more than I've ever loved anything or anyone."

"And that's never gonna change?"

"Never," he promised before kissing her head.

"Good, so that means you won't completely hate me when I do that special something for you."

"You never give up, do you?" he chuckled, amazed at her determination.

"Nope," she smirked.

Eli rolled his eyes with a smile.

"How about we drop it for now and we celebrate the first of many summer sleepovers with some pizza?" he persuaded.

"Yum," she said in agreement.

He smirked at her before giving her one last kiss then standing up; he took her hands and pulled her up onto her feet. He released one of her hands and held on to the other, smiling as they left his room.

()()

They enjoyed their pizza downstairs, where they talked and shared a few brief kisses. By the time they were done, they returned upstairs and decided to change into their pajamas. Eli stayed in the room to change while Clare went to the bathroom.

As soon as she was done changing, Clare stepped back in the bedroom, wearing white pajama pants and a light pink spaghetti strap pajama top. The burns she had received from the fire were fading more and more as each day went by, much to her relief. However, she no longer felt insecure in letting them be seen; Eli had not said anything about them and that made her feel more confident in showing them to the world.

"Hey," she greeted, closing the door behind her.

"Hey," he replied, grinning at her apparel. He stood there in his blue boxers and gray shirt, not being able to take his eyes off her.

"So," she said, sitting in the center of his bed, "what do you want to do?"

"Well, I rented a movie that I think you won't mind watching."

"What movie?"

Eli picked up a DVD case off his desk and presented the movie _New Moon _to her.

"Are you sure?" she asked, knowing that he was not exactly the biggest fan of the _Twilight Saga_.

"I think I can handle two hours of sparkling vampires and werewolves. Just try not to have too many fantasies about Edward, okay?" he said with a smirk as he put the movie in the DVD player.

"I won't . . . considering Jacob is the eye candy in this movie."

He rolled his eyes as he journeyed back to the bed. He and Clare lied down on their sides to see the television, him lying behind her. She kept her head on a pillow while he propped himself up on his elbow to see both the movie and half of his girlfriend's face. He slid his free arm around her waist when the movie started and noticed her smile as his fingertips brushed her stomach.

Eli kept only a fourth of the attention on the movie and the rest of it on Clare. He kept grinning at her whenever she saw her smile or pout because of what was happening on the screen. He also took this opportunity to admire how the thin fabric of her top fitted perfectly onto her curves and the way the strap rested carelessly on her round shoulder, exposing her skin to him.

Half an hour into the movie, Eli's eyes were resting on her when she turned her head to see him looking at her.

"What?" she asked him.

"Nothing," he answered, caressing her upper arm. "You just look really sexy in these PJs."

Clare felt her breath get caught in her throat as she heard him use that one adjective. He referred to her as beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, adorable, and cute on many occasions, but this was the first time he had ever called her sexy. She tried her best to keep her face pale, but the blush crept into her skin. She tried to focus on the movie and hoped for her red cheeks to disappear.

"Are you okay?" he asked, seeing her face.

"Yeah," she answered, turning to her other side and concentrating on the center of his shirt instead of his face. "You just . . . you've never called me sexy before."

"I haven't?" he asked, not believing he had neglected to call her that after one and a half years together.

She shook her head, pulling back on her bottom lip.

"Well, then . . ."

Before he continued, he managed to get both of his arms around her and pulled her on top of him. She was now in his arms, her whole body on top of his.

"_That_ is something I left _way_ overdue."

He took her right arm and kissed the still healing burns between each adjective.

"Clare, I think you're the sexiest . . . most beautiful . . . smartest . . . most amazing . . . strongest . . . and the best girl I've ever known."

She grinned bashfully, disbelieved in the greatest way possible that someone actually felt this way about her and that this same person was going to become her husband one day.

"I'm in love with you," she told him softly.

"I'm in love with you, Blue Eyes."

Clare grinned happily before momentarily bringing her head up to look deeper into his eyes.

"And _you_, Eli Goldsworthy, are the funniest, most caring, most thoughtful, and the most incredible man I've ever met. And your looks don't hurt you either," she smirked.

He smirked back at her before locking his lips to hers. They soon forgot about the movie and became lost in their kisses. After a few minutes they had forgotten all about it and everything else except for the person they were sharing this moment with. The mood was even more alive since they had turned the lights off to see the movie and the only light was the soft glow of the television.

As Clare kissed him, she felt all the desires come back to her. Whether it was her hormones or need to make love to Eli again, she felt herself being unable to stay still for too long. To occupy herself, she kissed Eli with more heat and passion. She really wanted to re-experience what they did on prom night and the night of the concert, but they both knew it was not an option; their promise to wait again until marriage was too important to them and they did not want to risk their parents finding out.

The closest thing she would get to that was by taking Alli's advice and get intimate without going too far. She was nervous that Eli would reject her if she took the bold step to bring this concept to his attention, but her longings for him were too great and that caused her to shove her worries to the side. Deciding to take the chance, she removed her lips from his and put them to his neck and began kissing him as heatedly as possible. She tugged on his skin with her teeth and did not hesitate to use her tongue. She was getting really into it, especially when she heard him moaning and breathing pleasantly. Focusing on the pleasure he was getting from her kisses, Clare was only acting on the small amount of adrenaline inside her and she slid her hand down his side. She reached the hem of his shirt and, before she could stop herself, she slid her hand under his shirt and onto his waist.

"Clare?" he said, his stomach muscles contracting at her touch.

Hearing her name, she released his skin, but kept her hand still.

"Yeah?" she asked, keeping her face near his neck. She did not know why he would stop her . . . unless he did not want her doing this.

"What are you doing?" he asked as delicately as possible.

Not even the gentleness in his voice could keep her from feeling like an idiot; she had done exactly what she wanted to avoid. He wanted an explanation, yet she could not give it to him. She could not find her voice and she couldn't say the words to describe what she was doing. Beginning to see how much of a bad idea this was after all, she removed her hand from under his shirt.

"Nothing," she muttered, turning on her side to see the movie again.

She wanted the subject to be forgotten, but she knew how determined Eli got when it came to her insecurities. Sure enough, she felt his hand on her stomach and a comforting kiss on her cheek. She turned her eyes back to him, not prepared at all for anything he could say.

"Now I'm curious," he informed her. "Was it the heat of the moment or something?"

Clare wanted Eli to erase everything that had just happened from his mind, but at the same time she wanted him to know what had been going through her head since the day after prom. If she was going to tell him the truth, now would be the best time. Not being able to look at him anymore without feeling ridiculous, she took a breath and braced herself for the aftermath of her confession.

"Ever since prom night, when you and I . . . um . . . I've kind of . . ." she said nervously, not wanting to sound foolish.

"Kind of . . .?"

"Never mind," she said, already feeling humiliated even though she had not admitted anything.

"It's just me, Clare; you can just spit it out," he coaxed.

"I miss having sex with you, okay?" she stated pointblank. Her face turned pink – _again –_ as she surprised herself with how she just spat that out.

Completely shocked that Clare had these feelings _and _admitted to it so bluntly, Eli smirked and let out a small laugh.

"It's not funny," she said, feeling aggravated as well as embarrassed.

"Sorry, I'm just surprised," he said, sitting up and she followed suit. "What brought this on?"

She shrugged as she looked down at the covers of his bed.

"Raging hormones?" she guessed.

Eli let out a small chuckle and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I miss sleeping with you too."

"The thing is . . . I still want us to wait," she said.

"I do too," he empathized.

"But . . . I don't want us to go through the next six years without doing things, you know? Like, I'm not saying that we have to get naked and stuff, but . . . maybe we could do certain things and then we can save the sex and the other intense stuff until we're married."

"Okay," he agreed. "But . . . I don't want you to end up regretting it if we do that."

"I won't regret anything if we don't go too far."

"Are you sure?"

"Completely," she nodded. "As long as nothing gets weird, I'll be fine."

"Promise?" he made sure.

"Swear."

If this was actual love making, he would've answered differently and probably would've said something against it, but they were not going that far. If they had limits that would not lead to sex and if Clare was comfortable with it, he could not see in the point in turning it down or protesting.

"Okay, so what are some of these 'other things' you had in mind?" he asked curiously.

"Um . . . not hand jobs or anything, but . . . I don't know."

"You seemed to have a good idea a few minutes ago," he reminded.

"Well . . . I wasn't really thinking about it."

She tried not to feel completely ridiculous about mentioning it. Here she was, asking for him to take things further when she had no idea how much further they could possibly go without crossing boundaries or invading certain territories.

"Then how about we go with what you started?"

"What do you mean?"

He gently put his lips to her neck; he began kissing her flesh and he heard her moan because of it. Since he had yet to hear her object what he was doing, Eli proceeded onto the next step he had in mind. He gently eased her down onto the bed so her head was resting on the pillows. He kept his lips on her, being sure to be tender yet passionate. Being slow and soft, he transferred his lips to her collarbone.

"Is this okay?" he asked, hearing her breathing.

"Perfect," she answered.

"How about this?"

He slowly slid his hand to the hem of her shirt and then moved his bare hand onto her waist. She felt his warm hand and chills swarmed over her; he kissed her skin and smoothed his thumb of her side and she sighed since she could not find her voice to find her voice to answer his question.

Not wanting to rush this new way of intimacy without sex, Eli kept his hand on her waist and did not wander anywhere else on her torso. Clare appreciated this, thinking the same thought as him. He was now planting his lips on her shoulder, leaving sweet kisses on it.

"I like your shoulders," he informed her.

"I like your back," she whispered as she roamed her hand over his spine and shoulder blades.

He smirked on her skin, flattered by her statement.

"I like your cheeks," he said, kissing her right cheek.

"I like your nose," she continued, turning her head so the tip of her nose could nudge his. He grinned at her before taking her lips in for a kiss.

Taking advantage of it, Clare put her hands on his shoulders and used all her strength to flip them over so Eli's back was on the mattress while she straddled his waist and kept his shoulders pinned. She broke the kiss and they exchanged smiles.

"Is this as far as we go?"

"Unsatisfied?" he questioned with a raised brow.

"No," she said honestly. "I'm just . . . curious."

"Well, we can, but . . . let's keep this slow. That way we know our limits."

She nodded, a bit relieved that this was not as intense as she expected. It was more sweet and gentle than anything, and she was content with that; she still wanted her and Eli to explore intimacy together and not going too far tonight made her look forward until they were ready to go further than this.

"I always knew you were smart," she smiled, approving of his suggestion. They kissed again, completely satisfied with how far their physical relationship went tonight. She climbed off his waist and released his shoulders as she lied back down on the mattress. They faced each other, their glowing eyes meeting. He wrapped his arm around her waist and she slid closer to him.

"You know what, Clare?" he said.

"What?"

"I have a feeling that this is just the start of an amazing summer."

"Me too," she smiled at him in agreement before putting a kiss on his lips.

* * *

"_You are the best thing_

_That's ever been mine"_

_~"Mine" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

Happy Belated Birthday to ilovetaylorswift13! I hope you had a good one!

New vlog to check out: My Message to Everyone and Anyone

Then check out Moxxy's fic "There Goes My Hero" and My world of Eli's "Crazy Stupid Love"

Reviews please?


	97. Behind the Mask

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the reviews. Shout out to Eclarefanxoxo and MadameDegrassi4587 for all your amazing reviews! And I now send a virtual hug to my twitter mommy, christina8605, for just being there for all your twitter kids. All three of you are so sweet and awesome! Chapter dedication to can't-help-but-love-degrassi for being a seriously awesome person!

So, this episode kept me hooked from start to finish (excellent acting from Jahmil French)! Can't wait until next week! Okay, I did a lot of last second thinking on this, so I rewrote it and now it's this! I hope you guys like it.

Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but I am an official member of the Pottermore website! WHAT NOW!

* * *

Chapter Ninety-Seven

Behind the Mask

Once the movie was finished, they were exhausted and decided to go to sleep; Clare held onto Eli the entire night and he kept her close to him. Needless to say, they were comfortable and content throughout the entire night. Clare stirred in Eli's arms the following morning just as the sun began shining down on Toronto; she opened her eyes to see his green orbs watching her.

"Good morning," she mumbled with a satisfied tiredness.

"Good morning," he replied before moving some of her hair off her face so he could have a better view of her eyes. "You are so cute when you sleep."

Clare giggled and blushed before kissing his lips.

"How did you sleep?" they asked each other at the same time, laughing at the moment a second later.

"You go ahead," Clare volunteered him, resting her head on his pillow.

"Ladies first," he riposted.

"Well," she began, smiling at his benevolence, "I had the best dream last night if that says anything."

"Care to share the details?"

"Let's just say that I was in a white dress, you were in a tux, we both had wedding rings on our fingers, and we were dancing together."

Eli smiled, the image forming perfectly in his head; it would not be much longer until her dream would enter the real world.

"Five years and three hundred sixty-four days to go," he smiled. "Give or take a few days because of leap years."

"I'll take it."

She met his lips again before nestling her head in the crook on his neck; she felt his fingers gently tease the roots of her hair as they remained in this blissful moment.

"Excited for that double date tonight?" he asked.

"Kind of," she answered. "I just want Alli and Adam to be okay."

"They'll be fine," he assured her.

"If you say so," she sighed. "The important thing is that they figure everything out and remain friends afterwards."

"They will," he reassured her.

She lied there next to Eli, wanting to believe him but honestly not having the slightest clue what to possibly expect. All that she knew was that this date was either going to be a complete success or a complete disaster.

"I'm going to go take a shower," she told him. She tried to get out of the bed, but Eli kept his arms around her waist; he pulled her back into the bed and against his body.

"A few more minutes," he said to her.

Clare didn't argue; instead, she turned over again and nestled her head into Eli's chest.

"Babe?" he said softly to her as he looked at her.

"Yeah?" she said.

"Did you enjoy our first sleepover?"

"I did," she answered. "Maybe we could have our second one sometime soon?"

"Anytime you like," he said. "My house isn't going anywhere."

"And I have the key now, so you never know when I might come by for a late night visit."

He grinned at the idea before he planted a kiss on her lips.

"Happy year and six months," she told him as she leaned away.

"Happy year and six months," he echoed.

()()

After they were both showered and dressed, they had a nice breakfast with CeCe and Bullfrog; it was very special for Clare, considering she had not sat down with a whole family for breakfast since her parents were together. Having conversations, smiling, and eating with more than one person really made the Goldsworthy house feel like a home more than ever.

Pleased that they did not have to work today since it was a Friday, Eli and Clare spent most of the day either watching movies, talking, writing, and going to the Dot for lunch. At five o'clock, he dropped her off at Alli's so they could both get ready for the double date that night. An hour later, Clare was almost set to go; her hair was brushed, she was wearing a purple slim fit shirt, a black blazer, and a pair of black skinny jeans; all she had to do now was apply her makeup and she would be ready. Alli, on the other hand, was still going through her closet looking for something to wear, which was really surprising to Clare; she expected Alli to figure this out days ago, not two hours before the date.

"No," Alli said, dismissing every article of clothing she saw. "No, no, no, no, _no_!"

"Alli, it's Little Miss Steaks; a shirt and jeans will be fine."

"I know, but this is my first real date in over a year and . . . I don't know. Maybe this isn't such a good idea," she concluded, turning away from her closet.

"Of course it is," Clare eased. "It'll be fun."

"Clare, Adam didn't even ask me if I wanted to go tonight; Eli did. Clearly, he's not interested in me."

"He kissed you, you guys text and hang out, and he's coming tonight. He wouldn't do that if he wasn't interested."

"Unless he's just waiting for a way to let me down easy," Alli mentioned.

"Come on," she said. "Look, I've talked to him and I know he's interested enough to want to get to know you; that's a good sign."

Alli was silent and began raiding her closet again. Clare joined Alli in the quest for an outfit and, within seconds, she pulled a pair of dark jeans, matching denim jacket, and red top.

"Everything will be fine; trust me," Clare said, handing her friend the clothing.

Alli got changed and approved of the attire; she kept expressing her fears over and over to Clare, who gave nothing but comforting advice. They applied their makeup, put on necessary accessories, and waited impatiently for their dates to arrive. Adam and Eli were going to be picking them up at ten minutes before seven and they would go to Little Miss Steaks from there.

"I'm so nervous," Alli said for the hundredth time when there was only twenty minutes left on the clock.

"Relax," Clare eased as Alli paced her room. "You and Adam are friends, so just think of it as two friends hanging out with two other friends."

"It's a _date_."

"Whether it is or not, you two are just two friends spending time together."

Sighing, Alli walked back to her bed and sat down on the bed next to Clare.

"You and Eli kissed once before you guys got together, right?"

"Yeah," Clare answered.

"And . . . was it weird to be around each other after that?"

Clare reflected back to the time they did the _Romeo and Juliet _video for English nearly two years ago; since they were two friends who kissed and who had feelings for the other, she could see why Alli would be asking her this question.

"At first it was a bit more frustrating than anything since we both seemed to like each other and then he gave me the cold shoulder for a bit; but after he told me about Julia and everything, we were friends for a while and, when he was ready, we got together."

"It couldn't have been that easy."

"It wasn't. It was hard on both of us, but communication made it easier," Clare said. "Once you and Adam talk, hopefully it'll be the same way for you two."

"Clare –."

"And freaking out about it isn't going to help, either. So take a deep breath, stay calm, and think positively."

Alli did as she advised, seeing that assuaging herself was the only course of action to take right now.

"Okay," she said. "At least you'll be with me the whole time."

"Yeah," Clare answered, remembering that she and Eli were actually going to be leave early. Usually, she would've felt bad about lying, considering that her best friend's nerves were so extreme; but once she realized that leaving the dinner could be the better decision so the two of them could actually talk, she accepted that she would be doing the right thing.

They suddenly heard the sound of the doorbell echo up to her Alli's room minutes later; their dates had arrived.

"It'll be fine. Let's go," Clare encouraged.

Alli gulped down the lump in her throat before she and Clare grabbed their purses and left the room. They went down the steps, Clare ready to get the date over with while Alli was terrified what could come from this. They arrive at the door and opened it to see Eli and . . . just Eli.

Clare and Alli were surprised and instantaneously worried. They would've thought he would've come along, but he wasn't there. Why? Maybe something came up? Maybe he chickened out? No, Adam wouldn't bail . . . would he?

"Where's Adam?" Alli asked.

"He's going to meet us there," he assured her, knowing she could have been thinking the worst by now.

"Oh," she said, sighing in the relief that she had not been stood up.

"I shall be escorting you for the evening," he announced. He turned around and stood between the girls and offered one arm each to them. "Ladies?"

Smiling at his generosity, both of the girls latched themselves onto his arms as he led them to the hearse, ready for the night to begin.

()()

Adam sat at the table, waiting anxiously for the others to arrive. He had been looking forward to this date all week, but now those feelings were beginning to shift; he was truly excited to come here since the plans were made, but now that he was here, he wanted to flee from the country and never come back. So many things could go wrong tonight and, with his luck in the romance department, this date was a catastrophe waiting to happen.

But he was already here and there was no use in turning back; that would hurt Alli and his best friends would be greatly annoyed at him. Leaving would not be worth any of that, thus he kept himself in his chair. The nerves getting to him, he did what he told himself he would not do and took out some notecards from his back pocket in hope that it would calm him down.

Every card had tips, all of them written by Eli. He knew that Adam would get nervous, so he jotted down possible ideas on how to keep mellow. He read the card, which instructed him to keep a level head and only think about what he would say when he saw Alli come through the door and nothing else; that way he would not have to dwell on the night ahead and just focus on achieving that one goal. Praying that it would work, Adam took a breath and began formulating ideas.

To his amazement, he felt a lot calmer when he figured out what he would say to her. When Eli first gave him these cards, he felt a bit discouraged, but now that he saw how useful they were, he was greatly relieved. Curious as to what the other suggestions could possibly be, he looked through the others. There were more notes on how to stay calm during dinner and, most importantly, good topics of conversation.

As far as he knew right now, Eli and Clare were still planning on leaving early, so he needed ideas as to what he could do to brighten the conversation in case an awkward silence formed. Making a mental reminder to thank Eli later for giving him these cards, Adam began to study them. He just hoped that he would not have to consult them often.

After staring at them for a couple more minutes, he looked up and saw Clare, Eli, and Alli enter the restaurant; he hastily stuff the cards into his jacket pocket, not bothering to check if they were safely secured or not. He stood up from his chair and saw the trio make their way towards him.

"Hey guys," he greeted before turning his attention to Alli. "You look great."

"Thanks," she said bashfully.

He then pulled out the chair next to him and gestured for her to sit down as Eli did the same for his date.

"Thank you," Alli said as she sat in her seat.

"No problem," Adam said before sitting next to her.

It was then instant silence. None of them made a sound and that made the tension between Alli and Adam increase; they avoided each other's gaze as both of their minds raced for something to say.

"So," Eli spoke up, "anyone see any good movies lately?"

"That's original," Adam chuckled.

"It's a good question."

"Well, it's definitely not the worst icebreaker in the world," Alli said. "I mean, at least he didn't talk about the weather or something."

"Classic," Adam acknowledged.

"Then you come up with something better," Eli dared, smirking.

"Fine," Adam said before turning back to Alli, one of the conversation topics from the notecards coming to his head. "Have any awesome plans for the summer?"

"I do, actually," Alli answered, pleased that a real conversation was starting. "My brother is coming back from university for a few weeks over July."

"That's awesome," Adam said, feeling a bit idiotic for not saying more. Thankfully, a waitress came to take their drink orders and saved him from an uncomfortable silence; once she was gone, Adam acted on his gut and cleared his throat before speaking.

"Speaking of university, do you have any idea where you might go?"

"Kind of," Alli answered. "I'm leaning towards either TU or Brampton College."

The two of them quickly started getting into a discussion about different colleges that they had considered; that conversation led to stories about what happened during multiple summer vacations; it seemed that they had almost forgotten that Eli and Clare were there since the stories had them so interested in each other.

"I think it's going well," Eli muttered to Clare.

"It seems to be," Clare agreed, but still not sure that they were comfortable enough to be left alone. Their drinks soon came and the waitress took their orders, promising them that their meals would arrive shortly.

Alli and Adam's conversation then turned to books and music, elementary and middle schools they attended, and hobbies they had; Eli and Clare, who were still perfectly fine listening in, were very astonished by how much the two of them had in common and how well the date was going so far. Clare noticed how Eli kept glancing over at her impatiently, wanting to know when she would do something to get them to leave like they planned. She was still not a hundred percent certain that they would be fine by themselves, so she was giving them more time. Although Eli was growing antsy, it would soon be clear that Clare was right to act on instinct . . .

They had just begun to eat their dinners and everything was going splendidly; Adam and Alli were adjusting well to each other's company and were really starting to hit it off. Clare was just about to put on her act to get her and Eli to leave when something on the floor caught Alli's eye.

"What's this?" she wondered, picking up the unknown item off the ground. As soon as it was in her hand, Adam wanted to crawl into a hole and hide away from the world . . . she had picked up his stack notecards. Assuming that they had fallen out of his pocket, he began turning red from fear and embarrassment.

"Wait, don't read those," he instructed quickly, his mind not having time to think. By the time he had spoken, however, it was too late. Alli was reading them and all his protest did was make the world know that they were his.

Curious, Clare turned to Eli, wondering if he was just as interested as she was. She saw his eyes widen, clearly knowing why those cards were in Adam's possession.

"These look like notes," Alli observed. Then, much to Adam's terror, she saw what was written on them. "_Conversation Topics_; _How to Stay Calm_. Adam, what are these?"

"Uh . . ." Adam said, his mind racing as he tried to find the best lie possible. "They're . . . uh . . ."

Clare and Eli knew what was coming. Within seconds, their theory was confirmed.

"You need notes to be able to talk to me?"

"Eli gave them to me," Adam spat out without thinking.

"You what?" Clare screeched at Eli.

"It doesn't matter!" Alli said. "You still used them, didn't you?"

"Alli, I can explain," Adam said. "I just . . . I didn't want this to be completely awkward."

"Congratulations!" she snapped.

"Look, I just wanted to know what to say to you."

"I'm your friend, Adam; it's not rocket science."

"I just . . . I just . . ."

"I thought you had more sense than _this_," she said, slamming the cards on the table. "If you wanted to go on this double date with me –."

"I didn't want to," Adam accidentally stated.

The second he said those words, everyone at that table knew that he had made a huge mistake. Eli was shocked; Clare was shocked and angry that Adam had the nerve to say that her; Alli was shocked, hurt, and furious; and Adam was shocked that his mouth acted before his brain, mad at himself for letting those words be said, and felt incredibly stupid for bringing the notes _and_ saying that he didn't want to come.

"Alli, I didn't mean it like that."

She did not listen; instead, she rose from her seat, grabbed her purse, and marched towards the exit.

"Alli," Adam said, trying to get her attention; she just ignored him and left the restaurant. Feeling worse than ever, Adam knew immediately what he had to do and he got out of his chair, preparing to go after her.

"Adam, just let her cool down and –," Eli began to say.

"The last thing I need is advice from you," Adam interrupted before following Alli. He darted out of the restaurant and saw her walking towards the parking lot, preparing to exit the scene and walk home.

"Alli! Alli, wait up!"

"Leave me alone, Adam."

"No, please," he said, quickly cutting her off and blocking her path. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how?" she demanded, trying hard not to scream at him. "Because, by the way you said it, it sounded like you didn't want to go out with me."

"I wanted to, just not tonight; not on this double date."

"Then why did Eli invite –?"

"It was his idea; I wasn't ready to go on a date yet, but then Clare told him that you wanted me to make the first move, but I wasn't ready to, so Eli invited you to come with us."

Alli looked at the ground while shaking her head.

"It would've been a lot easier just to call me and tell me that," she said.

"I didn't want to wimp out on your or anything."

"I would've understood if you wanted to cancel," Alli informed him, looking back up at him.

"I know, but I've been thinking and . . . we really need to talk about prom and everything and this was the only way I knew we could."

"Are you crazy?" she said. "Adam, I want to figure that out too, but not when we still feel weird around each other."

"I don't feel weird around you."

"You needed notes to have a conversation and keep cool around me; if that doesn't show weirdness, I don't know what does. Besides, it wasn't like we could talk about it tonight, not while Eli and Clare were in the room."

Adam then remembered that she had been kept in the dark about his, Eli, and Clare's plan; she did not have any idea that the double date would turn into only half of that. His insides began to boil with guilt, feeling horrible about agreeing to this entire scheme. First he went along with this date when he knew neither of them was ready, he used the notes, and then he hurt her feelings and – as much as he did not want for her to be hurt anymore – she deserved to know what was really happening, or what was going to happen. The time had now come; it was time to stop the lies, the hidden truths, and everything in between. He cared for Alli and she deserved the truth; it was time to come clean.

"Alli . . . they were going to leave."

"What?" Alli said, eyes widening.

Adam took a breath, ready to reveal everything that he should've told her since the start . . .

()()

Clare and Eli stared out the window, observing the scene. Adam gained her full attention and they had no idea that he was telling her everything that was in his heart. She was staring at him as he tried to give her his explanation for everything; she talked to him as well, her eyes going from angry and hurt to simply confused. Their discussion lasted more than three minutes; within that time, a came by their table, inquisitive as to why only two of the customers remained. Eli assured her that they would return, even though neither he nor Clare knew if this was the truth. It was almost impossible to foresee what could happen to them; all anyone could tell was that their friendship was now walking a very fine line.

"I hope you're happy," Clare then scoffed at Eli.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded, appalled.

"None of this would've happened if you didn't force them to come on this stupid date!"

"All of you agreed to it."

"Only after you kept hounding us about it," she argued.

"I didn't hound any of you."

"Please, Eli, you basically –."

"I gave my opinion and you agreed."

"What about Adam? Did he want to go on this date?"

Eli was silent for a second, not wanting to let her know that Adam did not really agree to go along with this until Alli said that she would come.

"Someone needed to give them a push," he stated in his defense.

"That's not your decision."

"Oh, like you haven't told Alli to give Adam a chance."

"It was a suggestion; I never forced her into doing anything."

"My point is that you were fine going through with everything until this fiasco."

"But we should've cancelled this the second we found out that _neither _of them wanted to do this."

"You know, if you want to point fingers, let's remember who got them together in the first place," he said.

"Don't you dare put this on me," she snapped, rising from her chair. "They wanted to go to prom together; it's completely different to what you've done."

Eli stood up and faced her as well, both of them glaring each other in the eye.

"This may have been my idea, but you wanted to go along with it just as much as I did."

"At least I had enough faith in my friend to not give him notes," she sneered.

"I was trying to help."

"Yeah, giving him notes like that was a great way to boost his confidence," she said, her voice drowning in acrimony.

"I was trying to help," he restated.

"Not everyone needs your help all the time, Eli!"

Before they got into a screaming match that would disturb the entire restaurant, Adam and Alli came charging back in and made a beeline for their table.

"What are you guys doing?" Adam exclaimed, getting between the feuding couple.

Neither of them spoke; they avoided each other's eyes and focused all their attention on the others.

"Nothing," Eli finally answered as Clare crossed her arms.

"Except arguing in the middle of a restaurant," Alli noted. "And you're arguing about Adam and me."

"Which is crazy!" he interjected.

"He was insensitive!" Clare said.

"She was not taking any responsibility!" Eli brought up.

"That just gives _us_ the right to be mad at you two, not for you two to be mad at each other," Alli stated. "Speaking of which, were you guys really going to leave us here alone?"

"You told her that?" Eli snapped at Adam.

"I'm glad he did!" Alli barked before turning to Clare. "Why would you even consider going along with that?"

"I can explain," Clare said.

"You saw how nervous I was, Clare. I told you that I wanted the four of us to be together for the _whole_ night, but you were going to leave?"

"I was going to wait until you guys were comfortable enough with each other before we actually let you be alone."

"Why would you even think that would be okay? Why would you even consider leaving when you saw how nervous I was?"

"You guys need to talk," Eli stated. "And that would not happen until you guys were alone."

"Guys, this is Adam and I's problem," she explained firmly. "If we want to talk, we'll talk when we're ready, not just because you two want things resolved."

"Seriously," Adam agreed. "We get that you two are deeply in love with each other and all that good stuff, but some of us are still trying to get back in the game. I can appreciate the support, but everything from planning a double date, to giving me notes, to you two fighting over _our_ love lives has seriously got to stop."

"You can't blame us for wanting you two to fix things. That day at the mall, everything was weird and I didn't want our summer to be that way whenever we hung out," Clare explained.

"We've been working on it, Clare," Adam said. "We started talking again, which was a huge step for us. And, once the time was right, one of us was bound to bring it up."

Once the words got through to them, Eli and Clare turned to each other; they saw that each of them were at fault although they had good intentions. Adam and Alli were right; it was not up to them if their friends wanted to talk or not. They should've just let them go at their own pace all along and that was something they were definitely going to keep in mind for the future.

"Okay, we'll ease off. We promise not to butt in anymore," Eli swore, looking at them again.

"Thank you," Alli said.

"And we're sorry for doing all of that to you guys," Clare added.

"Alright," Adam nodded.

The tension still took inhabitance in the air; none of them looked at each other, which made the uncomfortable feeling increase by a thousand notches.

"Uh . . . maybe I should go," Alli suddenly said.

"No, Alli, Eli and I will go; you guys should stay and try to have fun," Clare protested.

"No, it's fine," she declined. "My parents didn't want me out too late anyway."

"Do you need a ride?" Adam offered.

"No, I'll just call my mom."

"Please, can I give you a ride?" he then said. "It's the least I could do."

Apprehensively, she nodded and muttered an "okay", almost confident that this night could not get any worse; if anything, it could only go up from here or remain the same.

"See you guys later," Alli said.

"Bye," Clare replied.

Adam and Eli did not say a word, too ashamed or too annoyed to exchange a goodbye. Adam and Alli walked out of the restaurant, neither of them looking at the other.

"I'm an idiot," Clare muttered as she and Eli sat back down at their seats.

"No, you're not; it was my idea to do this, remember?" Eli reminded.

"I mean I'm an idiot for going along with your idea."

"You just wanted what you thought was best for your best friends."

"But what _I _thought was best for them turned out to be their hell on earth."

"Well, at least we're both in the same boat: the _S.S Idiocy._"

Clare nodded, the guilt piling on top of her like a ton of bricks. First she and Eli took control of Adam and Alli's love lives, then she plotted behind her best friend's back, and then she put all the blame on her boyfriend when she knew that the blame was also on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry," she said to him.

"I'm sorry too," he replied, his eyes full of remorse; he took the hand that was resting on the table and held securely.

"How mad do you think they are at us?" she asked, staring at the two empty seats.

"Now that they let off some steam, maybe not too mad," he answered, smoothing his thumb over the top of her hand. "But it wouldn't surprise me if they don't talk to us for a day or two."

Clare wished that she saw this coming. She hated it whenever she and Alli got into fights or disagreed, but they usually made up pretty fast; this time, however, may be a bit different, considering she went behind her back and got too involved in her love life.

"Maybe from now on we shouldn't try to interfere."

"Agreed," Eli seconded. "It'll be okay; they'll talk and come around soon enough."

"I hope."

"So, just out of curiosity, what were you going to do so we would have an excuse to leave early?"

"I was either going have a coughing fit because of lung irritation from the fire or spill my drink on you," she said, still dwelling on the feeling that she was responsible for her two best friends not getting together. If only she and Eli had the sense to butt out and mind their own business, this would not be happening; that thought kept dancing through her head.

"Are you okay?" Eli asked.

Clare shrugged.

"Do you think they would've gotten together if we didn't get involved?"

"We'll never know," he answered. "But everything happens for a reason; maybe this just wasn't meant to be."

"Maybe it wasn't. But it doesn't matter now, does it?"

They stayed there and ate their dinner, hardly exchanging words, for they felt too guilt-ridden to speak a single sentence.

()()

Adam was driving Alli, the only sound breaking the silence being the engine. They had not muttered a word since they left the restaurant and neither of them seemed to have any idea as to what they could say to start a real conversation; plus, they were too embarrassed to make any attempt. As they began approaching Alli's neighborhood, however, Adam finally found his voice.

"Alli, I'm really, really sorry about everything that happened tonight," he said.

"Don't worry," she disregarded, not looking him in the eye.

"No, I was stupid, insensitive –."

"Let's just forget about it, okay?" she said, wanting to literally forget that this night had ever happened.

Wanting to speak but not sure how to introduce the subject without getting her even more upset, Adam kept driving down her street. After yet another two minutes of quiet, they arrived at her home. If he was going to talk to her about what was on his mind, he knew he had better do it now.

"I'll see you around," she said, unbuckling her seatbelt and preparing to climb out of the car.

"Wait," Adam interjected before she left. "Can we talk for two minutes?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"One minute?" he proposed.

Seeing that he was not going to give up on having this conversation with her, she turned back to him.

"Okay," she said.

Adam breathed in then out, not remembering being this nervous in such a long time as he looked at the steering wheel.

"Ever since we kissed on prom night, I've been thinking about us. And . . . if I had it my way, I would've waited a bit longer to ask you out . . . a _lot_ longer, actually."

"What are you trying to say, Adam?" she asked, her face growing uncomfortably warm.

"This wasn't just some stupid idea of Eli's to get two people together," he began to explain. "I . . . I want us to get to know each other a bit more and I want to do that because . . . I think I'm getting feelings for you."

Amazed that he had admitted it so openly, Adam braved himself to look up at her face; he turned his head and saw Alli looking slightly surprised. He wanted her to say something, but she was mute; he was hoping for anything, whether it was rejection, acceptance, or reciprocation. Unfortunately, all that filled his ears was her breathing. She was still in his car, so he needed to get the rest of his thoughts out before she escaped for good.

"I was fine with the way things were going with our trips to the Dot and our texts and everything and I was hoping to talk about prom when we were both ready and I wasn't going to be ready until I knew my feelings for you. I opened my mouth to Eli about that and –."

"All hell broke loose," Alli finished.

"Exactly," Adam agreed, a small laugh coming with his comment. "Uh . . . I was actually going to ask you out on a real date, just you and me, to see if we would . . ."

"Work?" she assumed.

"Yeah," he said, seeing that it was the only way to put it. "But . . . I was nervous, so . . . this happened and . . . I'm sorry."

He had said all he needed to say and now he just hoped for some sort of sign from Alli as to whether or not she would consider being with him. She looked down at her knees for a minute, deep in thought, until meeting Adam's eyes again.

"Adam, you're a really nice guy –."

"That's never good," Adam groaned, looking at the steering wheel again.

"Listen," she said, reaching over to hold his wrist, causing him to turn his head to her again. "I don't want to play games; I just want to have an open, honest, smooth relationship. I don't want to be with someone who thinks that they need a guide to be able to talk to me; and you actually do a pretty good job at that."

"Until I messed it up with those stupid cards," Adam admitted.

"People make mistakes," she shrugged.

"Can you possibly forgive me for this one?"

She smiled at him before leaning forward to kiss his cheek. Her lips on his skin made him want to melt on the spot; they were as soft on his flesh as they were on his lips not so long ago, but knowing that she made the first move this time made it remarkable. She leaned away, still grinning as he tried to keep all redness away from his cheeks.

"How about we go on that date you were talking about tomorrow and we see if we could work?"

"Just the two of us?" he clarified, hoping that they would not have to double up.

"No," she said. "I think Eli and Clare will be fine with that."

"Me too," he said. "Don't get me wrong, I love them, but they can be . . . how can I say this nicely?"

"A bit too caring?" Alli guessed.

"I guess you can say that," Adam agreed, aware that they just wanted him and Alli to be happy when all was said and done. "So . . . movie tomorrow?"

Alli nodded and smiled.

"Can't wait."

* * *

"_I was the anchor on a heavy sinking ship_

_And we're sinking faster_

_I am the only culprit_

_How did everything go wrong?_

_I'm trying to make sense of it"_

_~"Behind the Mask" by Escape the Fate_

* * *

This is me writing MY fanfiction MY way with NO ONE telling me what I'm doing is wrong. It's one thing to give constructive criticism on my writing/grammar (I'll accept that happily), but you go too far when you cut down my imagination. If you don't like what I'm doing, please just leave and don't waste anymore of your time (or mine, for that matter).

Sorry guys, needed to get that out there. Alright, the season finale is going no longer an hour long season finale in the US; it's now going to be shown in two parts. Unfortunately, this causes me to make some changes so we can have the 100th chapter published on the season finale. I will not be updating next week, but I will keep updating after that until the end of the season. Perfect timing to, considering I have 3 huge tests next week and finals coming up.

Recommendation: The Poems of EClare by MusicRox526! Beyond fantastic poetry right there! Also, I've written two new one-shots this week ("I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" and "Can't Move On") if you would like to check them out. Lastly, check out my latest review vlog on my YouTube channel if you wish. See you guys two Fridays from now! Reviews, please!


	98. History in the Making

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Surprise! Okay, decided to forget the updating every Friday thing because deadlines drove me nuts and it was taking the fun out of everything. So, from this point on, I'm updating whenever I feel like it (but I will be sure to post something for the season finale). Anyway, Happy Belated Birthday to Eclarexoxo! Fluff chapter in dedication to eclarefanxxx! You are an awesome person and I love you to death! You guys should follow her on twitter and read her fics ("Yellow" is one of the best stories on this site)! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Degrassi is not owned by me or other EClare shippers . . . but if we did, it's pretty obvious what we would have happen . . .

* * *

Chapter Ninety-Eight

History in the Making

Alli called Clare hours later that night and the first five minutes consisted of a thousand apologies from Clare; Alli accepted all of them and finally told her that she and Adam were going on a movie date. Clare pressed for more details, but Alli advised her to ease out of her business a bit. Clare knew that she was right, so she did not put up a fight; although she was slightly overjoyed by the fact that her two best friends were going out on real date, she knew that she should keep out of their love lives until they actually needed her and promised herself to never play matchmaker again. Eli did the same when Adam called him that night and promised his friend that he would never meddle again unless absolutely necessary.

Since Alli and Adam were going out, Clare and Eli decided to follow the trend and go out as well since it was a Saturday and they didn't have to work. They decided to take advantage of the cloudless sky and go to a place where no one would be and where they would not have the temptation to go check on Adam and Alli's date. Plus, after their small fight the night before, they knew that going out together would be the best way to smooth everything over.

They sat on the edge of a lake a couple of miles away from their neighborhood; there was no cell phone service out here, thus it was just two of them and they were beyond content. They were now resting their feet on the water; Clare was holding onto Eli's hand as they sat there, smiling at him.

"I love you," she told him as she held his hand on her thigh and stared down at them.

"I love you too," he replied.

"How many times do you think we've said that to each other?" she asked, looking back up at him.

"Probably three thousand times," he estimated.

"Only three thousand?" she smiled with a chortle.

Eli grinned before bringing her hand to his lips.

"I love you," he repeated before releasing her hand and wrapping his arms around her waist. "I love you," he said before kissing her cheek. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

"I love you too," she replied before kissing his lips.

"I think we've now said it no less than three thousand six times."

She smiled at him as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"So, since you have church tomorrow, do you want to go to hang out on Monday?" he asked her as they sat there.

Clare, to his surprised, groaned.

"I forgot to tell you; on Monday I have to go with Alyson and Melissa to do dress fittings for the wedding."

"Oh," Eli said, a bit crestfallen that he would not see her, but he disregarded it because he knew she would rather not go and that she would spend time with him if she could. "Well, it shouldn't be too bad."

"Four hours stuffing myself into uncomfortable dresses with two people who annoy me? Yeah, it'll be picnic," she added sarcastically.

"I thought you said they've been nicer to you ever since you got out of the hospital?" Eli recalled.

"Nicer to me, yes; nicer in general, no."

"How so?" he asked.

"Alyson is just becoming a bridezilla and is becoming more of a perfectionist than usual. And Melissa wants this wedding be perfect since this is going to be the third time she's getting a stepdad, so she's almost as bad as her mother."

At every moment possible, Clare had been assisting with the wedding since Randall and Alyson wanted her and Melissa involved; it had its perks, such as seeing all the components that went into the wedding plus wedding dress and cake options. The downside was seeing Alyson constantly making suggestions, adjustments, or harsh criticisms to the original design; there was nothing wrong with it in general, but she was very demanding and did it constantly, so it got fairly aggravating.

"That must suck," Eli said.

"Yeah, but thankfully I don't have to be there until noon."

"Then what do you say to an early lunch date to get your day off to a good start?" he suggested.

Clare smiled, knowing that will probably be the highlight of her day and that she would get to see her boyfriend before she was forced to endure hours in a dress store with Alyson, Melissa, and wedding coordinator.

"I'd love to," she answered.

"Alright," he agreed.

Clare, who was now in higher spirits, lifted her head from Eli's shoulder and the two of them observed the lake around them. He did not look at the water for long and turned to his girlfriend; there was just something about the way she sat there with a grin on her lips and the way the sun was shining on her face that made her look more than radiant.

Taking advantage of this opportunity, Eli pulled a digital camera out of his pocket while Clare continued gazing at the lake. He cautiously turned it on, making sure that the girl next to him wasn't taking notice of his actions. Moving as slowly as possible to not get Clare's attention, he raised the camera, looked at the screen that displayed the picture, and pushed the button to capture it.

"Got it," he accidentally said out loud in accomplishment, lowering the camera.

"What?" Clare asked, turning back to him; she saw that Eli was holding something and she groaned when she saw that it was a camera. "You didn't?"

"I want to have a few mementos of you for when I go to college," he explained.

"But you have pictures of me already."

"Not from this summer," he reminded.

"Do you really need to?" she asked, her face turning red. "You know I _hate_ getting my picture taken."

"I'm not going to see you for a while once I'm in Ottawa; I want to capture the memories of days like this."

"_Eli_."

"Please," he begged, folding his hands under his chin and letting his eyes do more of the convincing. "Just a few." He stuck out his bottom lip to make a greater impression on her.

Clare sat there as she mulled this over in her head, his pleas starting to affect her decision. She felt a bit weird knowing he wanted to take pictures of her in a pair of soccer shorts and one of his Dead Hand shirts, but she knew that she had no reason to feel insecure with Eli; he said before that she looked nice in his clothes, so why did she have to feel awkward? This was the same guy who called her beautiful when she was sick after all.

"Okay, I guess a few won't hurt."

"Thank you," Eli grinned in victory as he turned the camera back on.

"But delete the ones that suck."

"Fine," he agreed, having the feeling that deleting would not be necessary. "Okay . . . smile."

Clare looked at him and tried to smile, but it felt very forced in her opinion. Eli was about to take the picture until her smile disappeared.

"What's the matter?" he asked, lowering the camera.

"I can't put on a smile without making it look fake."

"Okay, I think I can fix that," he said before placing his lips to hers for a second. As he released lips, she began wearing a small grin on her face and Eli quickly captured it. "Got it!"

"Alright," she said, knowing that this was just going to be the beginning of the pictures he had in mind. Eli positioned his camera again and, just so he would not have her with the same smile, she stuck her tongue out at him; he chuckled and did not hesitate to take a picture.

"Nice," he approved. "Now . . . be shy."

It was not difficult to do since what she was doing was out of her comfort zone. She pulled back on her bottom lip with her teeth and turned her eyes down to the ground; she kept her position until Eli told her that the picture was taken.

"Now . . . would you mind posing on Morty?"

"What?" she asked.

"Please," he added.

Knowing that it would make him happy, Clare surrendered and stood up on her feet. Eli joined her and they both walked towards the hearse, which was not too far away from them. She expected him to put the camera away until then, but she was wrong; even on their way towards the car, Eli kept taking pictures.

"Really?" she giggled as he took the fifth picture of her walking.

"Capturing every moment," he justified.

Rolling her eyes, the two of them approached Morty and Eli refused to put the camera down.

"I did not know you had such an interest in photography," she said.

"Well, you're just an amazing subject," he explained, taking his last picture of her walking. They arrived at the car and he patted the hood, signaling Clare to climb on.

"You know I'd only do this for you, right?" she told him as she put one of her legs over the other as she rested her hands behind her.

"In that case, I feel honored," he said, getting the focus set on the camera.

Clare put the smile on her face, pleased that she felt comfortable enough around Eli to do this.

"Fantastic," he declared as he pushed the appropriate button; he grinned at the picture and then turning back to the real-life Clare. "Have you ever considered modeling?"

She rolled her eyes, but giggled slightly at his indirect compliment. She slid off Morty as Eli looked around, trying to locate their next location; his eyes wandered to the lake and then to the pier.

"I got another idea," Eli said, taking her hand and leading her towards the pier. They got there and he led her all the way to the end. "Alright, just stand with your back to the water and look at me."

Clare stood at the end of the pier as Eli prepared the camera again. She hardly posed to be serious, especially when she was alone; in most pictures, she was doing something, goofing off, or was with a friend or family member. Now, however, she was alone and had no idea what she should be doing or what Eli wanted.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked him.

"Just stand there, smile, and be yourself."

Clare wanted to smile, but not force it onto her face again. Going with a different approach to make herself smile genuinely, she thought back to a really good memory she had, hoping it would help. It couldn't be a simple memory that could've happened at any moment; it had to be special. It had to give her the feeling she had never had before that day. It had to be one the best memories she ever had . . .

And then it came to her . . . the night he first told her that he loved her . . .

That was definitely one of her favorite memories and it brought an instant smile to her face as she recalled that night more than nine months ago.

"There's that smile," he observed.

"No more after this, okay?" she asked of him still not quite secure about how she was posing, but feeling more confident in her smile.

"No more," he promised. "Ready?"

"I guess," she said, trying to keep the memory alive.

"Okay . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . perfect," he declared, grinning at the picture. He turned off the camera and put it to the side before walking towards Clare and wrapping his arms around her waist while she put hers around his neck. "Just like you."

"That's a lie," she scoffed.

"Not to me," he whispered as he began swaying them slowly until they were moving clockwise.

"Sap," she accused playfully.

"Hopeless romantic," he corrected.

"Sap," she retorted.

"Hopeless romantic," he riposted.

They were on the edge of the dock at this point and Eli's back was facing the lake; however, Clare did not notice this when she gave Eli a small shove in retaliation. He lost his balance and fell of the pier and into the lake; as his body made a splash, she clasped her hands over her mouth. She was extremely worried at first that he could drown, but that disappeared as soon as she saw Eli come back to the surface. Once she was sure that he was alive, she could not help but begin to chuckle heavily.

"Are you okay?" she asked through gasps of laughter.

"Peachy," he answered, trying to get over the shock that the sudden contact with water had given him.

"Good, that means you can't get mad at me for doing this."

She grabbed the camera and turned it on to take a picture of Eli treading water.

"Ha-ha, very funny," he said, trying to sound sarcastic when he was really just attempting to repress his laughter.

"I need a few pictures of you too," she remarked.

"Alright, but now you have to come in here with me," he told her.

"No way," she said.

"Come on," he coaxed with a groan. "The water's great."

"It's going to take more than that to convince me."

"Either you come in here or I'll come after you and bring you in."

"You wouldn't dare!" she challenged him.

"Oh yeah?" he chuckled.

Rolling her eyes in her surrender, Clare put the camera back down, kicked off her flip-flops, and took a few steps back before bracing herself for the water. She sprinted forward, leapt off the pier, and greeted the lake. Her skin met the cold liquid and she soon found her whole body submerged water; wanting to meet oxygen again, she quickly broke the surface of the lake and found herself on the right of a smirking Eli.

"Pleasure of you to join me, Miss Edwards."

"You know I'm going to have to make you pay, right?"

"And how do you plan on doing that?"

Without warning, Clare took a gulp of air and went back under the water; due to the water's murkiness, he could not see where she disappeared to.

"Clare?" he said, trying to squint through the surface of the lake. "Clare?"

Suddenly, he felt something come up from behind him and nearly tackled him into the water. He let out a small scream in surprise and his heart rate sped up until he realized that it was Clare. He took a breath, relieved that it was nothing else while he heard her cackling in amusement.

"Did I scare you?" Clare laughed as she continued holding on to him.

"Only a little," he defended, still trying to make a recovery from the moment. Smirking at her accomplishment, Clare kissed behind Eli's ear.

"Sorry," she said. "But you really should've seen the look on your face."

Clare climbed off his back and Eli turned around, a devious look in his eye.

"Okay, time for my revenge," he announced, rubbing his wet hands together.

"Hey, you can't have revenge on my revenge on you," she argued, swimming away from him.

"I believe I can," he grinned before following her.

They began chasing each other around the lake, above and under the water. They splashed each other in attempt to slow the other one down or to keep them away. After at least fifteen minutes, Eli had managed to trap Clare in his arms in the middle of the lake and his fingers immediately went to the weak spots on her stomach; within seconds, Clare was laughing against her will.

"Okay, okay, you win," Clare gasped, admitting defeat.

Eli stopped tickling her sides and smiled at her.

"I think that makes us even."

They swam to a shallow part of the lake before Eli wrapped his arms around her waist under the water. She fastened her hands behind his neck as they stood on their toes upon the floor beneath them. The water hit their skin and caused them to get goose bumps, but they could care less; they just wanted to enjoy this moment of spontaneity. Eli then began kissing her lips along with some of the lake water that existed on them, pleased that he was sharing this day and this summer with the person he loved most.

"I really love you," he told her as he leaned away.

"I really love you too," she replied.

She pushed his hair back so his sopping bangs were out of his eyes. She kissed his forehead, a sight she rarely saw due to his hair. As she removed her lips, their eyes met and they smiled at each other.

"I love these moments."

"Which ones?" he asked curiously.

"The one when we can just be together and enjoy the day," she described.

"Yeah, those kinds of moments are great," he agreed. "Especially when you can share them with someone who means the world to you."

"Sounds like the story of my life," she said.

He kissed her lips again and it wasn't long until a bit of tongue was involved; Clare reciprocated and made the kiss more intense. Once they were out of breath, they separated and beamed at each other.

"I'm starting to really enjoy this summer," he said.

"Me too," she conceded.

They put their heads together and closed their eyes and they absorbed the moment, not trying to focus on how short of time they had left until they would be separated. Thankfully, they were more than determined to make every day special; whether it was talks on the phone or going somewhere, they were going to continue making this the time of their lives since they knew these next few years were not going to be easy.

"You know what I think?" he asked, his breath tickling her lips.

"What?"

"Every time we visit each other, we should have a day like this when it's just you and me doing whatever we want."

"That sounds like a plan to me," she smiled before some water splashed them. The sudden rush gave Clare a blast of coldness which her to start shivering.

"Are you okay?" he asked, feeling the involuntary shudder.

"A bit cold," she said, feeling his body heat.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Please, before I turn into an icicle."

Eli smirked and they unglued their heads and opened up their eyes.

"Let's go," he said before they swam back to the pier.

()()

They entered Eli's room ten minutes later with towels in hand, their clothes feeling heavier since they were still drenched from their adventure in the lake.

"Okay, either we should _never_ do that again or we should _definitely _do it again," he proclaimed, drying his hair with the towel.

"Well, if we do, let's bring towels and a change of clothes," Clare said, trying to get as much water as possible off her arms.

"Agreed," he said. "I'll throw your clothes in the dryer if you want."

"Thanks," she said, pleased that she could get out of the wet clothing she had on. She retrieved some dry clothes from her drawer before venturing to the bathroom to change. She opened the door ajar so she could pass Eli her clothes; once he was gone, she changed into the shirt and shorts she grabbed, relieved to have dry, comfortable clothes on her skin. Her hair was still wet, but she knew Eli wouldn't care, so she just combed it out. Minutes later, both of them were dry and changed, happy to be out of their wet clothes. They lied on Eli's bed as they reviewed the pictures he took of her on his camera; of course, neither of them could agree on the quality.

"I think you look amazing in all of them," he observed, smiling at the one he took of her on the pier.

"I have chicken legs," she retorted.

"No, you don't," he told her directly, powering down his camera.

"Yes, I do," she said.

"Hey," he said, putting his camera on his nightstand before turning on his side to face Clare. He put his hand on her waist and looked at her eyes. "You do _not_ have chicken legs, okay? You actually have the sexiest legs I've ever seen."

"Do you make it your mission in life to make me blush on a daily basis?" she jested, wishing that all the blood flow to her face would stop long enough to keep her mentioned blush invisible.

"It can be," he said, slowly and softly sliding his hand down her side, over her hip, and stopping at her thigh. She grinned at him and he grinned back; before he could stop himself, he smashed his lips to hers and she gave in immediately. Bliss devoured her and she cupped his jaw as her lips opened and kissed him heavily. He cared for her lips for seconds before leaning away and gazing at her.

"I'll miss you when I go."

"You're not leaving yet," she reminded him, scooting closer to him so their legs could twine together. "You still have another six weeks before you go to Ottawa."

"I know but . . . I took pictures of you today so it can feel like you're there with me, but you won't be."

Clare smoothed her thumb over his cheek and gazed at him reassuringly.

"Remember that I'm applying there next year," she reminded him.

"But that means I have to endure a year of not seeing you every day."

"I'll come to visit whenever I can. And I'll only be a phone call away. Day or night, you can call me."

"Even if it's three in the morning?" he asked.

"Mm-hmm," she nodded.

"And you won't hate me?"

"I can never hate you," she promised him. "I love you too much to hate you."

"I'll still miss you."

"I'll miss you too, but we should try to make the most of the time we have left together until you go."

Eli rolled his lips and drummed his fingertips on Clare's thigh, wanting to savor this moment for as long as possible.

"You know, my parents won't be back until at least one or two tonight."

"But I have to be back home by midnight," she informed him regretfully. Since it was summer break, her parents had extended her curfew; but, if she broke it even one time, she would be back to her original ten o'clock limit.

"Right," Eli said, crestfallen that Clare would have to leave eventually; the two of them barely spent time apart this summer, so it was a huge reality check whenever he was reminded that Clare did not live with him and that they would have to part at some point. "Unless you spend the night," he then proposed, knowing that it would give them an opportunity to spend more time together.

"I have church tomorrow."

"If it's okay with your mom, I won't mind dropping you off there."

"We'd have to get up early," she reminded him, highly tempted to accept his offer.

"It's fine by me," he said. "Is it fine with you?"

The choice was not hard to make for Clare: stay with Eli or leave him at midnight and not see him until their lunch date on Monday.

"I'll call and ask her."

Happy that he could be spending the night with his future wife in his arms, Eli leaned in to kiss her and she met him halfway. She smiled at him before putting her lips to his for a matter of seconds.

"But I think I'll call her later," she said with a grin mischievous grin on her face, sliding her hand to his sternum. "Like you said, your parents are out and we're all alone in your room. Why not take advantage of it?"

Without warning, she slid her hand down his clad chest and soon put her hand under his shirt and up his body. Eli's stomach muscles flinched pleasantly at her touch and his breath began speeding up as pleasure went through his body; it was amazing how her delicate hand could create these feelings so quickly. Her hand traveled to his heart and felt it thump rapidly against her hand.

"Your heart's beating really fast," she observed.

"It does that sometimes," he said, showing her a loving smile.

Grinning at his statement, Clare slid her hand down his torso before leaning down to kiss him again. Their lips and tongues fondled, becoming dazed in the moment of passion. Eli tangled his fingers in her hair, the kiss becoming more and more intense with every move they made. She caressed his stomach with her fingertips while he put his free hand on the small of her back.

"Hey babe," she breathed, taking her lips away from his.

"Yes?"

"Can I see your camera?"

"Why?" he asked. "You're not going to delete the pictures, are you?"

"No," she said. "I just have an idea for one last picture."

"O_kay_," he said slowly. He moved his hand away from her hair and reached for his camera before turning it on and passing it to Clare.

She then lifted the camera until the lens was facing both of them.

"Smile for the camera, Goldsworthy," she instructed as she prepared to take the picture while she hooked her free arm around his neck. Eli grinned at the camera and Clare did the same as she pressed the button. Once they saw the flash and heard the click, Clare lowered her arm and went to the review option on the camera. She scrolled through all the other pictures until she found the last one; she and Eli both looked happy and comfortable as they lied on his bed. Anyone, even a stranger, could look at their eyes and tell just how content they were in the moment the picture was taken.

"What do you think?" she asked Eli, showing him the picture.

"I think it's the best picture I've ever been in."

* * *

"_This could be one of those memories_

_We wanna hold on to, cling to_

_The one we can't forget"_

_~"History in the Making" by Darius Rucker_

* * *

Uh, who likes pie? Yeah, that was a fail. Thank you to my sister and her country music knowledge for helping find the song for this chapter.

Okay, finals are coming up, so reviews would really make me smile. I'm working really hard on school work, studying, working on "Trespasser" with The Cliffhanger Girl, and this fic as well as others as much as I can, so some reviews would be much appreciated. See you guys soon!


	99. Need You Now

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Whoa, it's been two weeks since I updated this! Thankfully, summer is here for me now, so I can just relax and do fanfiction after I get my summer reading projects done (going into AP English IV for my senior year!).

Thanks for the reviews guys! Special shout outs to maggie delacey from twitter for an amazing tweet that made my day not too long ago and to coffeeflavoredkisses for the great review! Chapter dedication to the awesome reviewer Eclarexoxo! I always love it when you review my fics! It means SO much to me! Seriously, you are one of the best out there! YOU ROCK! Here's the next chapter everyone! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi but I do have a kicking CD collection!

* * *

Chapter Ninety-Nine

Need You Now

Helen said that Clare could stay over at Eli's that night only if she was not late to church or else she would not be able to have any more sleepovers there. Agreeing to the terms, Clare told Eli the good news and they were more than excited to have their second sleepover. They spent their night in each other's arms just as they wished and woke up in the morning, satisfied with the night they had together. Eli got her to church on time, and therefore they were allowed to continue their sleepovers.

Monday came along and Clare woke up at eight, remembering that she had to meet Alyson, Melissa, and the wedding coordinator at the dress store for fittings in four hours. Thankfully, she and Eli still had that plan for a lunch date, so that boosted her low spirits. When he invited her on a lunch date, she expected it to be at the Dot; instead, he surprised her by taking her to the park, where he supplied them with sandwiches and soda. Considering it was a fairly warm day, Clare found it absolutely perfect and it made her extremely happy.

By the time they were done eating, they still had another twenty minutes before Clare had to meet Alyson, so they decided to just spend a bit more time at their picnic table instead of leaving early. The decision was fine by Clare and Eli was pleased that he did not have to hand her over to her future stepmother for a few more minutes.

Clare was sitting next to Eli, her head resting against her shoulder as he kept his arm around her waist.

"You are the best boyfriend ever," she told him.

"Oh am I?"

"Definitely," she nodded.

"And why, best girlfriend ever, do you think that?" he asked.

"Well, I think you're sweet, romantic, funny, smart, _incredibly_ caring, and simply amazing," Clare listed. Eli smiled at her words, flattered that she of him so highly; he was not going to lie, it was a nice feeling.

"Do you know what I think?" he asked.

"What?"

"I think you're all of that . . . and you're cute."

She blushed before nudging him in the side; he cast his smile on her before turning his head to kiss her lips. When they separated, to their surprise, they saw Adam and Alli on the sidewalk; they looked at the park and saw the couple. They waved at them and Eli and Clare waved back before they joined them at the picnic table.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Alli asked as they sat across from Clare and Eli.

"We just got done having lunch," Clare said. "What about you two?"

"Just having a day out," Adam answered.

"Together?" Eli said with a raised eyebrow. Clare nudged him in the side, subtly reminding him that it was not his place to nose around in their business.

"We actually just met at the Dot," Alli said. "And, since we were both out, we figured 'what the heck?'"

"Well, you're welcome to join us for a few if you wish," Clare said.

They began talking about whatever subjects were hanging in the air. As they did, Eli could not help but notice how Adam and Alli were sitting fairly close to each other and how they kept shooting each other sideways glances. His curiosity was going into frenzy, but he remembered how he promised Adam not to meddle in his love life. However, that did not mean that he did not have the right to ask an innocent question . . . an innocent question such as . . .

"How was the movie yesterday?"

Adam and Alli exchanged looks as they recalled the movie date they went on yesterday. It was as they were both contemplating whether or not they should speak before turning back to Eli and Clare. They both knew what Eli was really trying to say: he was trying to find out what they had decided after their date. There was no doubt that Eli would get the truth out of them eventually, so they both felt it was better to get it over with.

"Should we tell them?" Adam asked.

"I think we should," Alli answered.

"Tell us what?" Clare asked.

Adam and Alli looked and each other again before turning to the couple across from them.

"After the movie yesterday, we went to get some pizza and we started talking and . . . it turns out that we have a lot in common."

"We like similar movies, books, music, other interests," Alli listed.

"And so, we started talking, and we realized that we were not nervous being around each other since there was no pressure. We began talking and we agreed that everything is fine between us and we have resolved a few things and . . ."

He paused, knowing it would annoy Eli and Clare; he laughed inwardly when he noticed the impatience in their eyes.

"And what?" they asked.

"We're going on another date tonight," Adam announced.

Clare tried not to smile to widely, but she could not help it; at the words "another date", her lips curved upward and she was wearing a large grin.

"That's awesome," she congratulated.

"Does this mean that you two are . . . together or . . .?" Clare asked, wanting to know as much information as possible.

"Uh . . . it's not as extreme as that." Alli said.

"We're just simply going on a second date," Adam finalized.

"Alright," Eli said. "Hey, if you two work out, maybe we can go on another double date."

"_No_!" the other three chorused.

"It was just a suggestion, geez," Eli said.

They laughed lightly until Clare's message alert went off on her phone. Wondering who would be texting her, she opened the message, only to let out a slightly aggravated breath to see that it was from Alyson.

_Don't forget to be at the dress shop by noon._

"I know, Alyson," she accidentally said aloud before texting _Ok_ as her reply.

"What's going on?" Eli asked, hearing the bitterness in her tone.

"Evidently, Alyson feels the need to inform me of things I already know," she stated as she put her phone back in her purse. Eli shook his head, still finding it difficult to believe that Alyson was still . . . well, Alyson.

"Future stepmom trouble?" Alli assumed.

"She's been a thorn in my side about our dress fittings since last night. She texted me at dinner, she texted me in the middle of the night, she texted me this morning, and she texted me an hour ago," she listed. "Sometimes I wonder if the woman thinks I have sawdust in my head."

"Dress fittings?" Adam said.

"Yeah, Melissa and I are going to be bridesmaids, so we need to get dresses sorted out ASAP."

"Sounds like . . . fun?" he guessed.

"Not really," Clare disagreed.

"Have they picked a date yet?" Alli asked.

"October 13th," Clare answered. "This means we have less than four months to get everything ready."

"Four months? That's not much time to plan a wedding, is it?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "But that means that I'll be surrounded by wedding stuff for the next four months."

"Look on the bright side," Alli began. "This gives you a chance to see what you have to do for your wedding."

"Alli, I told you that we're not planning anything until we're officially engaged."

"I know, but maybe it could help pass the time."

"She's right," Eli agreed. "Maybe it can give you ideas of what you want bridesmaids to wear and stuff."

Clare had never thought of it that way; it would distract her from Alyson's criticisms and demands, plus the fact that she could gain knowledge so she would have some idea of what to expect when she and Eli planned their own wedding.

"Alright," she said. "I might just do that. Thanks guys."

"It's what we do," Alli grinned.

"So, how are you handling the whole wedding thing anyway?" Adam asked, recalling how Clare was very angered by it when her father and Alyson first got engaged.

"Well, I've thought about it after I came out of my coma and I want my dad to be happy; if he's happy with Alyson, so be it."

"That's good," he nodded in approval.

"I may not like her that much, but if he loves her, I'll suck it up."

"And, who knows, maybe you guys will get better with time," Alli mentioned.

"It's unlikely, but not completely impossible," Clare admitted.

"But, if that's ever going to happen, you probably shouldn't be late for that dress fitting," Eli reminded, checking the time on his watch.

"Probably," she sighed before she and Eli rose from their seats.

"We'll see you guys later," Alli said.

"Have fun on your date tonight."

"Thanks," Adam said, hoping that tonight's date will go as well as the one from the night before.

Minutes later, Eli and Clare were driving down the road to the destination of the dress shop; Clare was silently dreading this, not being able to imagine what could happen today with Alyson.

"Just think of it this way," Eli began, trying to distract her. "You only have to do this one time and then it's done."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I just have to suck it up and wear all the dresses she forces me to try on."

"I'm sure you'll look great in all of them."

"You're biased."

"Only a little," he defended.

"Only a lot," she corrected.

He rolled his eyes playfully at her modesty.

"Is this it?" Eli asked, pulling up in front of a store.

"Yep," Clare sighed, wishing she did not have to go in. "I'll call you later?"

"Sure," he agreed.

She leaned toward him, hoping for a kiss goodbye, but he just turned his eyes down to the empty seat between them.

"What's the matter?" she asked worriedly.

"Alyson at two o'clock," he said.

Clare looked through the windshield and saw Alyson standing outside the store, arms crossed as she stared at the hearse. She groaned, annoyed that she knew that she would not be able to kiss her boyfriend goodbye without being lectured by Alyson about it.

"Sorry," she said.

"Not your fault," he eased her.

She gave him a small grin in gratitude before unbuckling her seatbelt and preparing herself to endure hours of torment.

"Love you," Clare said.

"Love you too," he replied as she climbed out of the car.

As she closed the door to the hearse, she had the horrible feeling that this day would only decline; she heard Eli's car drive away, knowing that it would probably not be wise for him to stick around much longer. She walked to Alyson, who had a lighter glimmer in her eye now that Eli was gone.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Hey," Clare replied.

"Ready to get started?"

Clare nodded and the two of them stepped inside the dress shop.

"Where's Melissa?" she asked, noticing that her future stepsister was not there.

"She couldn't get off work, so it's just the two of us," Alyson smiled. "Hey, this could be a great way for us to spend some one-on-one time together."

_Joy_, Clare said sarcastically in her mind.

()()

Clare was walking home by four o'clock, feeling that all this day gave her was anger and an uncomfortable and ugly dress that she would be forced to wear in a wedding she did not support. She had told herself after she came out of her coma that she and Alyson would have a clean slate, but that slate was getting filthier and filthier.

Everything was going well when they first started; it actually surprised Clare that she was having such a great time with Alyson. They were laughing, talking, and getting to know each other; after the first hour, Clare learned that she and Alyson had the same interest in movies, some books, and even had similar taste. All of the nice comments and all the laughs today were immediately overlooked because of what else she had done at the store.

It had all started when Alyson asked Clare how her summer had been thus far; Clare answered honestly and told her that she had been spending time with Eli. The second his name flew from her lips, the Alyson Clare remembered returned. She began saying how inappropriate it was for her to be staying the night at Eli's house; Randall must have told her about this, for Clare had enough common sense to keep it secret from her. It was because of this information that Alyson had drawn the conclusion that Clare and Eli were having sex. This annoyed Clare greatly, considering that she had told her repeatedly that they were waiting until marriage; Alyson kept pressing the subject, however, and it made Clare's anger boil higher and higher. The only reason she did not leave the store was because she was in the middle of helping for her father's wedding and she did not want to repeat history like she had done at Little Miss Steaks a couple of months ago.

Full of annoyance and anger by the end of the day, Clare immediately declined Alyson's invitation to have dinner with her and Randall that night; she just walked straight home instead as all this animosity piled on top of her. Was she ever going to stop being so critical? Would she ever accept the fact that Clare was dating Eli? Unfortunately, Clare felt that she already knew the answer to that.

She had the day off work today, much to her relief; she wanted to lean back and recover from the afternoon she spent with Alyson. The downside of this was that Eli was working, so she would not be able to spend any time with him until his shift was over. She went to her room, got changed into her pajamas, laid back, and listened to some music, determined to focus on the lyrics and sound just so she would not have to dwell on the day that had passed her by.

She checked the clock constantly, wanting nine thirty to come; by then, Eli would be back home and she knew that she would be able to call him. She had to wait another hour, but she would take it; it was better than waiting two more hours.

It amazed her that a decent day could take such a nosedive so quickly. Her mood had turned from positive and happy to annoyed and angered on a dime; and the small talk she had with Randall after his date with Alyson didn't help her. He had come up to her room and did not hesitate to sorting out what was on his mind.

"Honey, I know I've asked a lot of you lately, but I need you to be honest with me about a few things."

"Like what?" she asked, knowing exactly where this was going.

Randall collected his thoughts; this was not going to be an easy question for him to ask his teenage daughter.

"When you spend the night at Eli's, what do you do?"

"We talk, watch movies, write together, and sleep," she listed, intentionally leaving out the intimate moments they have.

"Nothing else?" her father made sure.

"Nothing," she said.

"It's just . . . Alyson thinks that –."

"That we have sex," Clare concluded. "I know, she told me."

"Well, I've been thinking about it and . . . I can see where she would get that idea."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Clare, Eli is a good guy and he might've saved your life, but he's still a teenage boy and –."

"Teenage boys only have one thing on their mind," she quoted from the typical cliché. "Even if that was true – which it _isn't_ – it doesn't mean that we've been having sex."

"Off the record, Clare, just tell me if you are; be honest."

"We're not, Dad. We're waiting until we're married."

"So there is nothing going on?"

"Nothing," Clare repeated.

Randall was silent before nodding his head, as though he was reaching a final conclusion.

"Alright, I believe you," he said.

"Thank you," she said, hoping that the conversation was coming to an end.

"But that's not going to convince Alyson."

"So?" Clare shrugged.

"So, from now on, when I have you for the week, I don't want you going over to Eli's."

"What?" she shrieked.

"At least not to spend the night," he added quickly.

"That's not fair," she complained. "He's leaving in a few weeks and I don't know when I'll see him again; I want to spend time with him."

"You can, Clare, just not overnight on my week."

"But Dad –."

"No buts," he finalized, moving towards the door. "Alyson and I have discussed it and it's final."

"Have you talked to Mom about it?" she demanded, believing her mother had some say in this.

"As long as you and I are both under this roof, you will follow my rules."

"You were fine with it until Alyson said something; I thought you trusted me and Eli."

"I do, but you know she's still not sure about him and I want her to be happy."

"And what about me?" she almost shouted.

"Not staying the night at Eli's for a few days won't be the end of the world."

"I just –."

"End of discussion," he declared before exiting her room and closing the door behind him.

She growled and threw her head onto her pillow, her right hand clinging to it in anger. This was beyond unfair; over the last couple of months she had been on her best behavior around Alyson, let a lot of harsh words roll off her back, and dealt with her bridal fever and the woman still had the nerve to judge her on speculation? It was not like Clare spending the night at Eli's was going to ruin her life, so why did she feel the need to get so involved? Yes, she might have her future stepmother, but it still did not justify the fact that she was still making assumptions and saying certain words about Eli again.

Clare wished so much that her father never came to her room; all the conversation did was pass the time and make her angry. Once she saw that the time was nine forty-five, she decided that now would be an appropriate time to call Eli; the mere idea of hearing his voice was making her feel less angry. Taking in and letting out many breaths, she picked up her phone and called Eli's number through speed dial. For the first time in hours, she felt like she could breathe easily when she heard him answer.

"Hello."

"Hi, it's me," she said.

"Hey," he replied. "How did the fittings go?"

"Um . . . not . . ." She struggled to find the words to describe it, especially since it was over the phone, so she just skipped that subject completely. "Are you doing anything tonight?"

"No," he answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Do you want to come over and spend the night?"

"What about your dad?"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

There was silence, so she knew that Eli was thinking it through. There was always that risk of getting caught, but he knew she would not ask that of him unless it was absolutely necessary. As always, he was willing to take that risk for Clare.

"Alright, I'll be at your window in a few minutes."

"Thanks," she said with appreciation.

She was waiting at her window and she soon saw Eli coming down the street, ladder in hand. They went through the usual routine of him climbing up the ladder and into the room before they were final able to greet each other.

"Thanks for coming over," she said as she embraced him.

"No problem. I just have to leave before your dad realizes I'm here and tries to skin me alive."

She nodded before she sat down on the bed and he sat down next to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, holding her hand.

"No," she said, honestly.

"I imagine dress fittings weren't that great," he assumed and she shrugged in response. "Anything happen?"

"If you count her lecturing me about spending the night with my boyfriend as anything, then yeah," she answered.

This was not a surprise to Eli; he noticed the look she gave them today when they were in Morty, so he had the feeling that she still did not like him even though he had shown the world that he loved Clare when he rescued her from Degrassi whilst it was ablaze.

"Need to talk?" he offered.

She shook her head.

"You've helped me enough with all the other Alyson drama," she said, recalling how Eli took a punch in the face for her a couple of months ago.

"And I don't mind helping a thousand more times," he promised her. "You know you can talk to me if you want to."

Feeling so many different negative emotions that had terminated any positive ones, Clare inhaled and exhaled, attempting to clear her head before speaking.

"She assumes that since I stay the night with you, we have sex."

"That's crazy; you told her that we're not doing that again until we're married."

"I know, but she told my dad that we have to stop our summer sleepovers."

"Seriously?" he said, angry that she was sticking her nose where it did not belong.

"Yeah," she said. "But my dad said that we can have them, just not during his week with me."

Eli sighed in relief.

"Well, at least we still have the other times."

"I just don't see why _she_ has to control what I do right now; she's not my stepmom yet and both of my parents said I could spend the night with you, so I don't think she should interfering _now_."

She rubbed her temples, all of the anger increasing; maybe it would have been better to let it go, but all of it was piling up in her mind again and it was becoming more and more difficult to just grin and bear it.

"It's just so frustrating; I let a lot of things go with her whenever she gets impossible and rude at all these other meetings, but there is a point when she needs to back off. I just want her to butt out a bit, you know? I mean, she knows you're going to Ottawa, so I'd thought she'd be a bit understanding because of it. And I have been nice to her ever since they got engaged, I have not been rude to her, I've done all I can to help with the wedding, and I try to make her happy, but . . ."

She crossed her arms, hurt and angry all at once; not just at Alyson, but at herself for letting her feel this way. Tears stung her eyes in animosity and resentment; she was so consumed in her pain that she was slightly startled when Eli wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"But what?" he asked, not stopping her from venting.

"But . . . it feels like even when I try to be happy and be my best for them, it's not enough and I'm still nothing."

"You're not nothing, Clare," he told her.

"You see, I've tried telling myself that and my mom has as well whenever I feel like that, but I'm not sure if I believe it."

"Have you tried talking to your dad about that?" he asked.

"No," she said. "He'll say that it's not true and give me a small pep talk, but that will eventually fall through and it'll start all over again."

Her breath hitched and she felt tears fall down her face, which she cleared away as quickly as possible. She was not use to this; usually these feelings would roll off her back, but now it was like a tick was latching itself to her flesh and refused to let go. No matter how hard she tried, she could not get herself back to the happiness she had in her heart less than twelve hours ago.

"Why do I feel this way, Eli?" she asked, looking up at him through her tear-filled eyes.

At that question, Eli gently eased her head onto his shoulder and began to softly stroke her hair, aware that it would give her console.

"Well, you've been number one in your dad's life for a while; between Darcy leaving and him getting divorced, you were the only girl in his life. I guess it's just different having someone else around."

"You think I'm jealous of her?"

"No," he said. "I think that everything moved too fast and now it's all getting to you. I mean, you were dealing with me and Kate stuff when the two of them started dating, next second their engaged, and now their wedding is coming and she's already coming in acting like a second mom and everything; that's a lot on your plate at one time."

Clare breathed in and out, taking in Eli's words. He was right; everything was piling up and, with him going to Ottawa soon, she was going to have to learn to deal with it all on her own. She did not know how she was going to go through all of it alone, but it helped knowing that she and Eli were in love; that fact would give her a bit of stability in life despite how far away he was.

"Remember how months ago they said I could invite you to the wedding?" she then asked.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Do you still plan on coming?"

"If you still want me to," he said.

"But do you want to?" she asked, not wanting to drag him there.

"Out of support for my future wife and father-in-law, yes," he answered. "For Alyson, not so much."

She was relieved to know that she was not the only one going there just for her father's happiness. It was also a huge relief that she would not be alone on that day.

"This is going to be a crazy year," she said. "It's going to be senior year, I have to get ready for college, my dad's remarrying, Adam's going away, and I won't be seeing you every day . . . it's a lot of change in a short period of time."

Eli softly kissed the top of her head, wishing that she did not have to deal with so much all at once.

"I can still wait to go to Ottawa or I can stay and go to TU if that will help," he reminded her.

She shook her head.

"I'll be okay," she assured him. "It's just going to take some getting used to, that's all."

"Well, don't hesitate to call if you need to."

She smiled at him, relieved that she would never have to worry about being alone again.

"Thanks for coming," she told him.

"You know I won't pass up the chance to sleep with you."

At those words, Clare's face turned slightly pink on the cheeks and bit her lips to restrain her laughter. After a couple of seconds, Eli realized what he said and felt idiotic for saying it.

"I-I don't mean like _sleeping_ with you, but the literal meaning of sleeping by your side," he explained, his face flushing red by this point.

"Relax, Eli," she eased with a grin, amused by his blunder. "I know what you meant."

"Well, I'm glad you got a good laugh out of it."

"It was exactly what I needed."

She grinned at him a bit before she put her hand to the side of his face and kissing him. His lips were like an antidote to poison; their kisses instantly alleviated her of any of the ache she had felt that day. She had felt so much better, in fact, that she wished that she did not ask him to come over in the night just to hear her complain; what was worse, she was beginning to think that she felt like she was overreacting a bit.

"I'm sorry if I'm kind of –," she began.

"There's nothing for you to say sorry for," he said. "Remember that you can talk to me about anything if you need to, okay?"

She nodded, completely grateful to him since he came over to give her comfort when she needed it.

"Is there anything you want me to do?" he endeavored of her. "Anything at all?"

"Um . . ."

She was hesitant to reveal what she desired from him since she had only asked him to do it to her once and it was before they made love for the first time. She was in the bliss of the moment then; now it was casual and she did not know if she had the nerve to say it aloud.

"Um what?" he asked of her, seeing a tiny blush forming on her cheeks.

"Can you . . . can you . . .?"

She kept trying to ask him her question, but her words refused to travel out of her voice box and remained in her throat; she did not know why she was so afraid to ask, but she wished that her nerves were not against her so it would make the task easier.

"Don't laugh?" she was finally able to say, meeting his eyes.

"It's me," he reminded her. "I promise I won't laugh."

She rolled her lips before taking the plunge, keeping his words in mind.

"Can you kiss my neck?" she asked coyly. "It just . . . it always makes me feel better when you do."

Eli grinned at her and the innocence she possessed; he could not understand why she thought he would laugh at that, but it must have made sense to her in some way.

"Well, I believe that falls under the category of anything?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He scooted closer to her until their hips were touching.

"You're the best," she told him.

"So I've been told," he smirked as his lips touched her neck. She began to giggle breathlessly when he went lower and kissed the pulse of her neck.

"Enjoying that, Edwards?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," she answered frivolously.

Smirking victoriously, he continued as his kisses filled Clare with pleasure. His lips both tickled her skin and made her feel on top of the world, causing her to moan happily. She instantly began to feel better as his lips caressed her skin; she was only half aware that Eli had begun easing her down on her mattress. He smoothed his hand up and down her left side in a soothing fashion while his free hand rested on the nape of her neck. She rested her hands on his upper arms as her eyes fluttered closed.

"Feeling better now?" he asked.

"Much better," she nodded.

Smiling, he traveled up her neck and over her jaw until he found her lips. It instantly muffled her moans, which were increasing as he kissed her mouth. Eli was fondled her lips lusciously, pleased that she was feeling better due to this moment; if all it took was a kiss from him to make her happy, then he would never stop kissing her so she could be happy forever.

The moment, however, was not meant to last. They quickly broke apart as they heard footsteps begin to climb the stairs; Randall was coming.

"Dang it," Clare hissed quietly.

"What do we do?" he asked, not wanting to give Randall a reason to resent him.

"The closet," she exclaimed.

Both of them got off her bed and moved as quickly as possible to her closet. She pulled the door open and Eli hid inside it, trying his best not to stand on her shoes that she had in there. Unfortunately, there was not much room inside, but he had to be careful not to move too much so he would not cause any commotion.

Clare quickly closed the closet and rushed back to her bed, grabbed her book, and began to "read"; just as she made the scene look natural, she heard a knock from her door.

"Come in," she permitted. Randall then entered the room, giving his daughter a welcoming grin.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"Hi, Dad," she replied, putting her book on her side table. "What's up?"

"I just came to see what you were doing," he said, sitting at the end of her bed.

"Well, not much; just reading," she lied, trying not to glance at her closet too much.

"I see," he nodded before putting his hands in his pockets. "Um . . . honey, I need to talk to you about Alyson."

"Okay, what about her?" Clare accepted, not really wanting to talk about her but also not wanting to get into a dispute.

"I . . . I know you're not exactly thrilled about being a bridesmaid in the wedding and coming to the planning sessions, but I really appreciate you going; it means a lot to me and Alyson."

"I know."

"And . . . I know she was a bit over the top with everything today and I'm proud of you for not saying anything when you wanted to."

"Dad, we bickered."

"I know, but you just let it go and I know it must've been hard for you today."

Eli observed from inside the closet, trying his best not to breathe loudly or make any sort of noise. He felt wrong standing here; he was eavesdropping on a conversation that Randall wanted to remain between him and Clare.

"I'm just glad you're happy, Dad. And . . . I'm getting used to her."

"That's good to hear. And I'm sorry about you not being able to go to Eli's; I know you were hoping to spend time with him before he leaves for university."

"Thank you," she said, slightly surprised because of her dad's apology, but accepted it nonetheless.

"Truth is, I don't have a problem with it. I know you two are not . . . you know, and I'm happy about that. And he's a good guy and I trust the two of you; and he's nice to you, so don't think for a second that I don't have a problem with him, because I don't."

Eli was flattered to hear these words, but he felt so wrong at the same time; he was standing in Clare's closet while Randall was praising him. He felt dirty being here without Randall's consent. Part of him really wished that he could step out before begging for forgiveness, but he knew that Clare would not appreciate that and he knew that he could end up regretting it later on. He kept quiet, having no choice but to listen in more on the conversation the two of them were having.

"I'm glad," Clare said. "But can you please just try to convince her that Eli and I are not having sex? I just want her to understand that."

"I'll try," he nodded. "But I won't make any promises."

"Fair enough," she accepted, knowing that it was best not to ask for more than that right now.

"Alright, goodnight."

"Goodnight, love you, Dad."

"Love you too."

As soon as the door was closed and the footsteps had faded away, Clare sprung from her bed and moved swiftly towards the closet door. She opened the door and saw Eli, who practically fell out of the closet and used his hands to break the fall.

"Are you okay?" she asked, helping him up.

"Yeah," he said.

Clare kept hold of his hand and they walked back to her bed.

"That was a close one," she said as they sat on the edge of the mattress.

"I'll say," he agreed.

Clare recovered from the miniscule adrenaline rush she had that was brought on by Randall possibly finding Eli in her closet; once the feeling had vanished, she was ready to resume where she and Eli were. She sat as close to him as possible before leaning towards his lips.

"Wait," he said softly before her lips touched his.

"What is it?"

"I can't spend the night."

"Why?" she asked, disheartened that he would be leaving soon.

"Your dad just said all of that and you know how long it took us to reach this level; if he finds out I'm here, we'll go all the way back to square one."

Clare pulled back and looked down at the ground. She hated to admit it, but maybe it would be best if he did go; the night would be lonely, but that was better than possibly getting caught.

"Okay," she sighed with a reluctant acceptance.

"I'm sorry," he said, wishing he did not feel that he had to leave her here after the day she had.

"It's okay. It's no big deal."

She was fighting to keep the disappointment out of her voice, but Eli heard it as clear as a bell. He did not want her to be upset or abandoned or anything around those lines and he wanted to do what he could just so she can sleep a bit peacefully tonight.

"Here," he said, carefully pulling her into his lap before singlehandedly pulling back the covers on her bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she locked her hands behind his neck out of reflex.

"I'm not just going to back out and leave," he stated. "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I did that?"

Clare smiled at his appreciation; she understood why his reasoning to leave, thus she did not believe he had to do anything to make it up to her. The fact that he chose to do it anyway made her wonder if Eli was real or if he was just a figment of her imagination. Well, of course he had to be real; that was the only logical explanation. What she could not fathom was how much he did for her; it was still incredible and she could not be more thankful for having Eli in her life.

"How is it that you don't get tired of being such a sweetheart?"

"Because I love you that much," he said. He stood up, turned around, and then gently lying her down on the bed; he pulled the blanket over her body while she grinned at him appreciatively. "Comfy?"

She nodded at him.

"Thanks," she grinned, her heart warm enough to cancel out all of the coldness it had felt that day. Eli knelt down by her bed, smoothing a stray hair behind her ear.

"I would stay, but . . ."

"I get it. I love you," she whispered to him.

"I love you more."

"No, I love you more."

He smirked before giving her lips a gentle kiss.

"Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams," she echoed as he turned off the lamp.

He journeyed to the window and climbed out, but did not descend the ladder yet. He looked through the open window to see Clare on her side, smiling tiredly at him from her bed.

* * *

"_Said I wouldn't call _

_But I lost all control and I need you now_

_And I don't know how I can do without_

_I just need you now"_

_~"Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum_

* * *

I have a new oneshot up called "Gone Away" and new multichap up called "Love Is Pain" if you wish to check them out. Plus, "Trespasser" by me and The Cliffhanger Girl is still up if you wish to read that. Speaking of The Cliffhanger Girl, check out her fics "Magic Eli" and "Just a Dream"! They awesome!

Reviews please?


	100. Blessed

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY! **(never giving up on them)

Thanks for the reviews everyone! You are all amazing! Okay guys, I saw the finale, but I am not saying what happened just in case someone hasn't seen it yet. Feel free to rant if you wish in a review, however!

Oh snap, we're at the 100th CHAPTER! I can't believe it! Thank you to everyone who has given this story love and support for the last year, 3 months, and one week and thank you to all who came aboard whenever you did! I really appreciate it. Here we go! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I haven't owned Degrassi for the past 99 chapters. There's no point in claiming that I do now.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred

Blessed

As Clare watched Eli climb out her window that night, she knew that it was around the perfect time. For months she had been telling him that she was going to do something special just for him since he had done so much for her. She had thought of the idea days ago and she did not want to wait any longer to do if for him.

She had to work at the Dot the next day, so she would have to use her lunch break to make the preparations. There was no way she was going to do all of the things she had planned on her own, so she called Adam for assistance the following morning. They were going to go by her house to pick up a few necessary items before going to the place where they were going to set up everything.

Once the time came for her and Eli's lunch break, she texted Adam and told her to come pick her up at the Dot. She was hoping that Eli would not get suspicious, thus she played it cool and casual all day.

"Do you want to stay here for lunch or do you want to go somewhere else?" Eli then asked her as they walked away from the counter.

"I actually have to take care of something wedding related," she fibbed.

"Seriously?" he said, disbelieved that Alyson would ask her to do that during her break.

Clare shrugged in response, trying to look annoyed about the "situation."

"Okay," he accepted. "Do you want me to give you a lift there?"

"Thanks, but Melissa's actually picking me up."

"You're not having the best luck today, are you?" he said, knowing that she would not want to ride with Melissa nor help with the wedding after what happened the day before.

"Well, nowhere to go but up I guess," she shrugged, hoping that she putting on a believable act. "I actually think her car's out there now; I'll see you around."

"See you soon," he said before they gave each other a quick peck on the lips. She then exited the Dot, looking up and down the street to keep an eye out for Adam's car. Seconds later, the vehicle known as Han Solo was coming her way.

"I owe you big time," Clare informed him as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"If anything, this is me owing you," Adam responded, a grin on his face.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said. "By the way, I picked up everything you asked from the video store."

"You did?" she asked, relieved that he remembered.

"It wasn't easy getting a lot of it out of storage, but I got it," he said, nodding his head towards the trunk. "And I also got all the movies you asked me to get; you're _so_ lucky that I work at a video store and that you're best my friend, because I got you a discount."

"Thank you so much, Adam. You're the best."

"It's what I do," he shrugged cockily. "So, your house first?"

"Yep," she nodded.

It did not take Clare long at all to go into her house and grab everything she needed when she gave Adam directions to their destination. The second they got there, they began setting up everything; since they only had a limited amount of time, they had to work fast to get everything done. The two of them were a good team and, due to their teamwork, they were able to finish everything with time to spare.

"What do you think?" Clare asked, gesturing the scene to Adam once they were done.

"I like it," he said. "I'm sure Eli's going to love it."

"I hope so."

"Of course he will," he assured. "Besides, at least it's a beautiful day, the birds are singing, and there's not a cloud in the sky."

"Why are you in such a good mood today?"

"Life's just wonderful, that's all," he sighed as they walked back to the car.

"Okay," she said slowly. "I'm glad you're happy."

"You can thank Alli for that."

"And why –?"

The reason came to her before she could finish her sentence; amazed, she stopped in her tracks, a smile attacking her face. Adam turned to face her, a smile also showing itself on his features.

"When?" she asked.

"We made it official yesterday," he declared, pleased that everything between him and Alli had finally been resolved.

Squealing slightly, Clare gave Adam the strongest hug possible; she was overjoyed that Adam and Alli were happy and that they were now in a relationship. She had to admit, she had her doubts that they would get to this point because of that double date fiasco, but they had begun anew and she was glad that they were happy.

"I'm so happy for you!"

"I can tell by the way you're choking me," he gasped through her tight embrace.

"Sorry," she said, releasing him. "I'm just . . . I'm glad things worked out between you two."

"Me too," Adam grinned.

()()

Adam dropped Clare off at the Dot just before her lunch break finished and she was able to have a burger before getting back to work. Eli did not seem suspicious, much to her relief; she could not wait until they were done for the day so she could take him to his surprise. She had half a mind to tell him what it was whenever he flirted with her throughout the day, but she was able to keep it to herself. Thankfully, the day soon reached its end; they had just got done locking up with the rest of their coworkers when the rest of the night was finally theirs.

"Alright, now that we're all done here, what should we do?" he asked as they walked out of the Dot and headed towards Morty, hand-in-hand. "Movie, dinner, late-night walk on the beach?"

"As inviting as all of those sound, I actually have another idea."

"Okay," he said, both of them stopping when they reached Morty. "And what is that?"

"You know how I've kept mentioning how I want to do something special to thank you for being the best boyfriend ever and to do something for our year and a half anniversary?"

"I think I remember you saying something about that a million times," he nodded.

"Well, I thought that I could do that for you tonight."

"Oh really?" he said; he had to admit, he was very curious and a little excited to learn what she had up her sleeve.

"It's all set up; we just have to go there."

"How did you have time to get everything set up?" he asked curiously.

"You didn't really think I'd spend my lunch break helping Alyson with her wedding, did you?" she said, with a grin.

"You little sneak," he teased her.

She smiled at him before taking a step closer to him so their bodies were almost touching.

"Do you still trust me enough to drive Morty?"

"Yes," he answered slowly.

"Well, if you don't mind," she began, wrapping her arms around his waist, "I'll gladly take you where your surprise is."

()()

Minutes later, Clare was driving Morty down the typical route to a place her and Eli were quite familiar with. She did not mind if she knew where the location was because there was no way he would be able to guess what they would be doing there. Confident that Eli would be surprised by this, Clare kept driving for a few more minutes until they arrived at their location.

"Here we are," she declared. They climbed out and he looked around, slightly amazed that they arrived at the abandoned church.

"It's . . . nice," he said, trying not to hurt her feelings.

"It's not right here," she explained, chuckling. "I have another idea up my sleeve."

She then pulled a blindfold out of her pocket, told him to turn around, and she put it over his eyes and tied it behind his head.

"Kinky," he smirked and he heard her laugh in response.

"Don't get too excited," she forewarned him. "It's not that kind of surprise."

"I know," he said. "But now I'm having _so _many ideas."

She laughed again, feeling sure that Eli was just saying this and he did not intend on anything happening for a long time.

"Save them until we're married, okay?"

"I intend to," he agreed, confirming her thoughts. "So . . . what now?"

"I'll show you," she said before taking Eli's hand and leading him through the trees.

As she moved him through the woods, she made sure that he was not falling over or hurting himself. It was getting dark outside, so she hoped that they would reach their location before she was walking blind.

"What are we doing, Clare?" he asked after minutes of walking, hoping for some kind of hint.

"You'll see. Just be patient," she instructed him. "We're almost there."

They only walked for another two minutes until they were where Clare intended them to be. As they arrived at their destination, she looked around one last time, hoping that Eli would like it.

"Alright," she said, removing the blindfold from his eyes.

There was a small tent set up in the middle of their clearing. He then noticed a small, portable projector and screen set up a few feet away from their tent; the projector was connected to a generator and DVD player so the movies could be played. He put the pieces together quickly and he was quite amazed.

"I thought we could spend the night out here and watch a few of your favorite movies," she explained, suddenly having the terrible feeling that this was an extremely lame idea.

He stood there and gazed at it, speechless. Clare waited for him to say something, unable to read his expression.

"So it's just you and me, alone in the woods with a tent and movies?"

"Basically," Clare nodded, unsure if his voice was pleased or disappointed. Before she could ask if he liked it or not, Eli grinned.

"You're the best."

Smiling in relief that Eli approved of what she has done, she took his hand and led him towards the tent. She unzipped the entrance and showed him the inside; there was some pillows and cot in there, and, on top of it, was a sleeping bag. Actually, it was two sleeping bags zipped together to create one big enough for the two of them to share.

"We also have enough snacks in here to last us the night," she gestured to a plastic bag of snacks she purchased from the store that morning.

"You did all this for me?" he said and Clare nodded.

"You kind of deserve it."

"Well, then _you_ deserve this . . ."

He put his lips to hers and kissed her powerfully. Before he could intensify it, however, she pulled away.

"This night is all about you; none of this 'Clare deserves this' stuff," she forewarned him. "No ifs, ands, or buts about it."

"Yes, ma'am," he obeyed with a smirk.

Smiling, Clare left the tent for a moment to put in the first movie. Once _Corpse Bride_ had begun to play, she returned to Eli and they both took off their shoes and got comfortable.

"I thought your dad said you couldn't spend the night with me while it was his week anymore," he recalled as he faced the entrance and lied down on his stomach and she followed suit.

"He said I couldn't spend the night _at _yours; it's two different things. Plus, he thinks I'm at Alli's."

"Oh really?" he said, impressed by her nerves. "And if he finds out that you're out here with me?"

"Then we should make this night worth it, just in case I end up being grounded for life and don't get to spend anymore nights with you."

"Well, if that happens, I would not mind kidnapping you from your house for a few hours in the middle of the night."

"You know, I wouldn't mind that either," she admitted.

Eli kissed her cheek before they turned their attention to the movie. Despite Clare's words, Eli still gave her special treatment; then again, he probably would have done it anyway because that was the kind of person he was. He kept an arm around her waist, determined to keep her close to him. She smiled at him and he smiled back every time, grateful for all the trouble she went through to do this for him.

By the time they were halfway through the third movie, both of them had their fill of entertainment and decided to just spend the rest of the night relaxing. It was one thirty, so it was pitch black outside save for the light the moon provided them with. They were not particularly tired, thus they just lied down together; his arm was around her shoulders, her hand continuously rubbing his stomach as she rested her head in the crook of his neck.

"This is probably one of the greatest things anyone has ever done for me," he told her.

Smiling, Clare kissed his jaw and traveled on his skin until she met his lips. As she kissed him, she parted her lips to allow his tongue to enter her mouth for a few seconds before she leaned away.

"I'm glad you like it," she replied.

"Correction: love it."

Their lips met again, determined to make the most of this night they had alone together with no chance of interruption. The pace of his lips sent her mind into frenzy, completely adoring that fact that the two of them were completely alone. She then moved her hand from his stomach to his waistline; she found the button on his jeans and slid it through the slit. She heard Eli gasp, causing her to pull her lips away from him.

"As much as I love your hand being down there," he said, "may I ask why it is?"

"You don't really want to sleep in your jeans, do you?" she asked with an innocent grin. She moved her fingers to his zipper and waited for his permission to pull it down. He wore his lopsided smile before answering the question, a few ideas coming to his head.

"I won't if you won't," he negotiated, causing Clare's face to glow. She didn't want to sleep in her jeans, but the idea of sleeping without much covering anything below her waist made her feel slightly insecure.

"I don't know," she admitted shyly.

"Why not?" he said. "No one's going to see your sexy legs but me; and we can climb into our sleeping bag after we take them off if that'll help."

His compliment brought a smile grin to her face, but it was not immediately a done deal. The idea of hiding herself from him seconds after her legs were exposed, however, made her consider his proposal. She rolled her lips, still apprehensive yet deep in thought.

"Only if you take off yours first," she bargained.

"Deal," he agreed. "Would you like to do the honors since your hand is already there?"

Almost forgetting that her hand was there in the first place, Clare unzipped his fly with ease. She could not help but feel a small sense of pride by the way Eli blushed as she stripped his jeans off him. Once her mission was complete and his jeans were thrown to the side, she kissed his lips; he kissed her back, only in his shirt and boxers. As they pulled apart, he kept his eyes on her as his hand met the waistline of her jeans.

"Do you want me to?" he asked tenderly, quickly switching his eyes from her eyes to her hip then back to her eyes. She nodded, her face turning pink again; to alleviate her of any uncomfortable feelings, Eli put his lips to her cheek. She instantly felt her blush disappear and began feeling pleasant butterflies in her stomach. He carefully removed Clare's jeans from her body, and she was really relieved when she could hide her lower body in the sleeping bag. The two of them climbed inside, smiling at each other.

"Are you okay?" he asked when he felt that the moment had passed.

She nodded, her eyes focusing on his grin.

"What?" he asked, noticing how she was just staring at him.

"Nothing," she said. "I just love your smile."

"Oh, you do?"

"I do," she nodded. "I love it very much."

"Well, _I_ love you," he told her before kissing the tip of her nose.

"And I love _you_," Clare replied before kissing his nose in return.

They grinned at each other, both of them pleased that they could have this kind of banter with each other and both of them feeling comfortable around each other. Eli loved that he could be himself around Clare and she would not ridicule him, criticize, or try to change him; she loved him for who he was and he was beyond grateful for that.

The two of them got as comfortable as they could in their sleeping bag; her head was against his sternum while his hand ran over her hair. They listened to the sound of crickets chirping and the sounds of the winds running through the trees; it was music and it was so peaceful that they wished that they could just keep this night alive forever.

"This is too perfect," Eli said.

"Is that a good thing or bad thing?" she asked, hoping that she did not go overboard with what she had created for tonight.

"It's an amazing thing," he told her, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. "It just kind of sucks knowing that I won't be able to do this with you on weekends and stuff once I leave."

"Which is exactly why I'm making the most of this right now," she said. "And I'm hoping that we can do things like this when we do see each other."

"We will. I promise that every visit you make to Ottawa will be special."

"And what makes you think I'm going to come visit you?" she said teasingly.

"Because you know I'll be sad if you don't," he stated.

"Well, I do hate seeing you sad," she said, wrapping her arm around his waist. "So how special are we talking?"

"Well, for one, you'll be spending nights with your favorite guy in his awesome room," he began.

"You mean I can stay in your dorm with you?"

"If you want."

"Will they let you do that?"

"I hope," he answered. "If not, I'll figure something out. I'll even clear a drawer for you there."

She grinned at his consideration as she snuggled her head deeper into his chest.

"What else did you have in mind?"

"Drive in Morty until we find a place far away from everyone else and then we spend time together," he began. "Maybe we can just walk around Ottawa until our feet can't take it anymore."

"That sounds really good to me."

Eli grinned at how she was pleased by the simple things of life before he kissed her head.

"How often do you want me to visit?" she asked.

"Whenever you can after you get car," he said. "And if you want to."

"Which I will," she answered. "When are you going to come back to Toronto?"

"I'll try to drive back here at least once a month."

"Sounds good," she said, pleased that she would be seeing him at least two weekends out of the month.

"Let's just hope that we don't plan on driving to see each other on the same weekend; that would be slightly problematic."

"Well, I'll know to turn back around if I ever see a hearse coming way."

Eli chuckled slightly.

"I'm going to miss you," he told her.

"Hey, you're not going to miss me tonight," she reminded him.

"I wish I didn't have to miss you at all."

"I won't make you miss me for too long."

Eli lied there, disbelieved that he would soon have no choice but to leave Clare behind; he would be hundreds of miles away from her and she would still be attending Degrassi while he was at the University of Ottawa.

"I can't believe I'm actually going to university in a bit more than month," he stated. "It seems like just yesterday was my first day of high school."

Clare nodded, remembering how they were dancing at prom three weeks ago, basking in the fact that the end of summer seemed so far away. Now, however, it seemed to be speeding towards them at the speed of light. When he leaves, there would be no late-night kisses, no sleepovers, no dates, and no holding onto each other for hours on end; it was such a strange feeling to know that the person you cared about more than anyone would be taken out of your life like that.

"I really wish we could still go on dates and stuff while you're in Ottawa," she said, voicing her thoughts.

"Maybe we can," Eli suggested, the idea suddenly popping into his head.

"What do you mean? You're going to be up there, I'm going to be down here. How are we possibly going to have a date like this?"

"I have this idea. Once a month, via webcam or cell phone, we have a date night?"

"Please, explain," she smiled, putting her elbow on her pillow and propping herself up on it so she could see him better.

"I'm saying we can go on a date without actually being together."

"Okay, I'm confused; that's impossible."

"Let's say, for example, we wanted to go eat dinner together. We can each go to a restaurant or order in from the same chain and we can talk on the phone or webcam when it happens."

"And it'll feel like an actual date," Clare concluded.

"Exactly, and we can do it with more than just dinner. We can walk on the beach, look at the stars, sit under a tree at the park, almost anything we can think of . . . except probably seeing a movie."

"But we can always see the movie at the same time and call each other afterwards," Clare mentioned.

"Good point," he approved. "So what do you think of that?"

"I think that's probably one of the most romantic things I've ever heard."

"And since it's once a month, it'll be special."

Clare smiled, loving the idea that she and Eli would still be going on dates even when he was hundreds of miles away. It would not be the same, but it was better than having no special times whatsoever while he was gone.

"Long-distance dates . . . they'll give me something to look forward to until I see you again," she said.

"We won't be able to give each other a goodnight kiss, but if that's the worst of it, I think we'll enjoy them."

"Me too," Clare agreed as she put her head back on his chest and he put his arms around her shoulders. "But I still expect a few dates with you when you visit."

"Believe me, there will plenty of those."

He smiled down at her as she grinned at him.

"I'm never going to leave you," he then told her.

"You better not," she smirked. "I'm not going to leave you either."

"And I will be forever thankful for that."

She grinned at him and looked at his eyes; she could see into his soul through those eyes and she could tell that millions of thoughts were circling his head. What they could be, however, was unknown to her and she did not have the slightest idea.

"What are you thinking of?"

"This last year or so," he answered.

"What about it?" she asked, curious as to what thoughts were living in his brain.

"Well, first, the most amazing person in the world told me that she loved me and it was not long after that when I realized that she was the person I wanted to be with forever."

"I feel the same way about a certain guy I know," Clare smiled at him. "I actually love him more than anything in the world."

Eli returned her smile before planting an endearing kiss on her forehead.

"And, call me crazy, but I'm kind of glad we went through all the stuff we did this year. I mean, Kate coming in really tested our relationship and we figured out how to fix everything that went wrong because of her, and that showed how strong our love is."

"What about us having sex?" she asked, wanting to know what he thought about that.

"Well . . . since you were going to wait until marriage at first, you letting me take your virginity really made me see that we are completely serious about staying together forever."

"That's how I felt when you asked me to marry you," she said to him. "So you wouldn't change a thing that happened this year?"

"Nothing except you ending up in the hospital and the trial," he said. "Then again, I learned a few valuable lessons from those."

"Like what?"

"One, I cannot live without you; two, I should make every moment I have with you count. I mean, for those six days, I lost my best friend and the woman I'm going to marry and it was hell. I don't want to ever feel that way again."

"I promise that I'll do what I can to make sure that does not happen," she told him softly.

"I'm just glad that I have you back."

She smiled for a brief second before sliding his bangs out of his eyes to look into their emerald beauty.

"You'll always have me."

Eli gazed at her, not knowing how he got so lucky to meet a girl like Clare and how he got fortunate enough to have her as his future wife.

"Promise?" he then asked her softly.

"Forever and ever," she promised him before kissing his lips.

"I love you," he whispered to her as she finished the kiss.

"I love you too," she replied before she nestled her head in the crook of his neck and closing her eyes. "You know what I learned this year?"

"What?" he asked curiously.

"I am the luckiest girl in the world," she told him.

That single sentence summarized so much and Eli understood it all. She was pleased that she had found him, that she had fallen in love with him, that he was sweet and caring to her, that she could trust him, that she had made love to him, and that she would become his wife someday. She was aware just how fortunate she was and she could not remember being happier; yes, that year had its problems and struggles, but Eli was always there. He was probably not always there physically, but he was always in her heart and that was the best way for anyone to be.

Eli felt the same about Clare and he was still counting his blessings for all the joy and peace she had brought to his life; he knew without a doubt that he would not be able to survive in this world without her and he did not want to. Many times she could have slipped away from him forever, but he got her back every time and he could not even begin to say how amazed he was that she was still here. They had conquered lies, jealously, fire, tears, screams, and doubt and every time they had overcome it and they were each blessed with a single aspect every single time . . .

Their immortal love for each other.

"Clare," Eli then whispered to her.

"Hmm-hmm?" she moaned.

"Thank you . . . thank you for everything."

* * *

"_This love is a beautiful gift"_

_~"Blessed" by Martina McBride_

* * *

THANK YOU to everyone who has supported me throughout this entire story so far! To all the people who have stuck around to read all these chapters! To all the people who stayed up for hours reading this! To all those who supported this story for so long! Thank you ilovetaylorswift13, Eclarexoxo, Moonlight Gypsy, CrissyChan350, sushi.23, maggie delacey, The Cliffhanger Girl, My world of Eli, Moxxy, Courtney loves JELLO, BlackRabbit550 and all the others who have read every chapter of this fic! You are all amazing! We are 100 chapters in and I congratulate you on reading all of them!

I have to do my summer reading for English, so I want to get them done before I do anymore fanfiction. I hope to see you guys next week or before June! Reviews please!


	101. You Are Not Alone

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY! **

You guys are seriously the greatest! I love all the feedback you guys gave me last chapter! Shout-out to the reviewers who are a sight for sore eyes (and by that I mean there but don't review often) and to all the supporters on twitter! You guys rock! Eclarexoxo, if you ever do get an account on here, I will gladly read your work; I will full heartedly give you the same support you give me (cheesy, I know, but that's me).

I love writing this story and, although I may have my bad days and I just feel so un-EClared (yes, I feel that way sometimes), I promise you guys that I will somehow make it through and continue with this story until the end (which, mind you, is a long, long, long, long, LONG way from here). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred One

You Are Not Alone

Thankfully, Randall was none the wiser about Clare spending the night out with Eli instead of going to Alli's like she said, so there was nothing to worry about there. Eli had soon discovered the relationship that now existed between Alli and Adam and he was extremely pleased for them; he was glad that his best friend had finally found a girlfriend who liked him the same way he liked her. He had even noticed how happy Adam was as well; he had not seen him that ecstatic since Fiona was around.

Eli had even convinced them to go on a day out together, but he had to swear not to call it a double date. The two couples went to the park, the warm sun shining down on them as they talked and simply hung out. It was evident from the way Adam kept his arm around Alli's shoulders and how she rested her head in the crook of this neck that this was the start of a beautiful relationship.

Despite his newly found love life, however, Adam still found a way to poke fun Eli and Clare about theirs. Whenever they acted sappy or lovey-dovey, he did not hold back his quips. Unfortunately for him, the couple could now retaliate; it was mainly Eli who did the teasing while Clare just sat back with Alli and laughed at the boys' strange fights.

Although neither of them would admit it, Eli and Clare were curious as to how Adam and Alli could work, considering many people probably would not see them together. Their day with them allowed the couple to see that the two of them had a similar sense of humor, they had some of the same interests, and they just had the unexplainable chemistry between them. Since both Eli and Clare understood that this was a big step for their friends, they mutually agreed to stay out of their relationship as much as possible and that is what they did. There was no prying, no meddling, and no poking about; it seemed to fit the lifestyles of both couples quite well, actually.

It was now the following Friday and Clare was getting dressed for a day out with Eli. All week they had been working, hanging out with Adam and Alli, or she was helping with the wedding, and therefore she was really happy that it would just be her and her boyfriend today. They were going to the abandoned church and their clearing before going to Little Miss Steaks for dinner and then catching a movie at the drive-in before going back to his house for a sleepover; since it was Helen's week at home, there were no problems with Clare staying the night at the Goldsworthy's. Clare was so excited about today that she had even agreed to let Eli bring his camera since he claimed that he needed some pictures of their special place. Enthusiastic about the day ahead, Clare changed into some denim shorts, a yellow t-shirt, and her flip-flops; she wore her hair down, but combed it out a bit until her curls were tamed. She was applying her makeup when her phone started playing the chorus of "Paisley Jacket", which was Eli's ringtone.

"Hi," she greeted as she answered her phone.

"Hey, Clare," he replied. She noticed that his voice sounded rough and quite different from its usual pitch.

"Are you okay?" she asked concernedly. "You don't sound yourself."

"That's why I'm calling," Eli began, his tone full of reluctance and regret. "I'm really sorry, but I can't go out today."

"Are you sick?" she questioned, seeing that could be the only explanation.

"I think I got heat exhaustion or something."

"Oh my gosh," she gasped worriedly, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

"Don't worry," he eased. "I just have to take it easy and stay cool, that's all."

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked.

"No," he answered. "I should be fine in a day or two; it's nothing serious."

"Okay," she sighed, relieved that he was going to be healthy again in no time.

"Don't worry about me, alright?" he said, knowing how worried Clare could get sometimes.

"I'll try," she promised. "Take it easy today, okay?"

"I will. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay," she replied. "Feel better soon. I love you."

"I love you too. Bye," he said.

She hung up her phone, wishing that Eli was not feeling under the weather. It would make sense that he would get heat exhaustion; it had been unusually warm these last few days and, with all the work he had been doing at the Dot plus all the time he spent outside, it was no mystery that the heat had gotten to him. She just hoped that it would pass soon so he could get back to his usual self.

The idea of him being sick, however, made her feel uneasy. Eli was never ill in this sense, so she did not know how he handled that; he might just be trooper, grit his teeth, and suffer through it or he might be feeling low and helpless. She did not know and it was unsettling; both of his parents would be out today, therefore he was all alone in his house. It might have just been a simple case of heat exhaustion, but she knew that it could turn into heat stroke if he did anything to overexert himself; the idea of that happening to him with no one around to help was the most frightening thought that entered her mind. With all of this in her head, she knew what she had to do; she grabbed her keys before going down the stairs, leaving the house, locking the door, retrieving her bike, and riding down the street to the Goldsworthy's home.

The second she arrived, she parked her bike and went inside the house; she needed to use her key, which told her that only one specific person was in this house. She quietly went up the stairs and to Eli's door; she walked closer and softly knocked on it. No response came; she tried again, but still nothing. She then slowly cracked the door open, hoping it wouldn't squeak or anything in case he was sleeping.

Clare slid into the room, lightly closed the door, and saw that Eli was, indeed, fast asleep. He was lying shirtless on top of his covers, the air conditioning on high in his room to keep him cool. He was in his boxers with a washcloth on his head under his bangs. Not wanting to disturb him or wake him up, she quietly walked to his bed, sat on his right side and stayed on the edge of the mattress before gently taking his hand.

Twenty minutes passed when Eli turned onto his right until he was facing Clare's direction. The cloth peeled away from his head and landed on his pillow. Noticing subconsciously that his head had become bare, he blinked his eyes open and realized his hand was being held by the person sitting next to him.

"Clare?" he asked groggily, hoping that this wasn't an illusion brought on from his heat exhaustion.

"Yes, sleepy," she replied in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," she shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Well, I feel like crap if that says anything," he stated, not really thinking about what he was saying.

"I'm sorry," she said sympathetically. She put her free hand on his forehead. "It feels like you have a fever."

"I do," he informed her. "I've had it since this morning."

"Do you need anything? Like water or something?"

"Thanks, but I have –."

He cut himself off when he looked on his bedside table and saw that the glass that was filled with water hours ago was completely empty.

"Well, I _had_ some water."

"Say no more," she said, rising to her feet.

"Clare, you don't have to."

"And let you get dehydrated while you have heat exhaustion? I don't think so."

"But –."

"You rest; I'll be right back."

She picked up the empty glass and picked up the washcloth, which was drying quickly, before leaving his room. He closed his eyes again, wishing that he was not in this sort of state; he believed that _he_ should be the one doing things for Clare, not the other way around. He appreciated the fact that she was willing to do stuff for him, but at the same time it was a bit strange for them to have switched places like this. He could not really explain his reasoning behind it, but he did not think Clare should be bothering with him while there were better things she could be doing.

She came back in the room a minute later, the washcloth dampened and a glass of water in her hand. He opened his eyes at the sound of her footsteps; he saw a smile grin on her face, which was infectious and caused him to grin back at her.

"Thanks," he said to her tiredly as she put the glass on his bedside table.

"Don't mention it," she said. She gently laid the cloth across his forehead before sitting on his left-hand side. "Is that better?"

He nodded, gazing at Clare like she was an angel; she had not been here long at all and she was willing to watch over him and take care of him. He grateful what she had done, but this was the first day of peace she had in some time and he did not want to make her feel like she had to stay here to nurse him back to health.

"You know that you don't have to stay here if you don't want to."

"Is that your polite way of asking me to leave?" she asked.

"No," he said, not wanting her to leave unless she had to; he may not like her waiting on him, but he always enjoyed her company.

"In that case, we should be happy that we are having a day when it's just two of us like we planned."

"It's not exactly the way I expected it to be," he admitted.

"So? It doesn't change the fact that it's just you and me."

A corner of his mouth twitched, causing him to show her his classic lopsided grin for two seconds. Clare then took his hand in hers and grinned back at him, wishing that she could think of more to make him feel better.

"Need anything else?" she asked.

"I'm fine."

"Are you a hundred percent sure?"

"Positive," he eased her.

"Okay, but if you –."

"Babe, don't worry about me."

"Eli, you're sick; you don't have the energy to do much, so I'm going to help any way I can."

Eli was astounded by how she was willing to stay there and help him; he always knew that Clare aided those in need, but he did not expect her to spend her whole day with him just so he would not be lonely and so she could help him feel better.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"I'm Saint Clare; it's in my nature to help the sick," she reminded him. "Plus, you're my favorite patient."

He put on a smirk and Clare returned it, pleased to see that this one was not held back by his aliment.

"Well, you being here is making me feel better already."

Clare grinned coyly; even when he was sick he did not lose his capability to make her feel special.

"You can lie down if you want," he offered; Clare just shook her head in decline.

"I don't want to make you warmer or anything."

"I'll be fine," he assured her. He patted the empty side of the mattress, inviting her to join him. "Please."

Hoping that this would not affect his condition in anyway, she slid off her flip-flops and rested herself on her side, facing Eli.

"If you start feeling too hot, let me know, okay?" she told him directly. "I don't want you getting any sicker."

"Alright," Eli agreed. He hooked his arm around her waist and grinned at her. "Thanks for coming."

"Well, you were there for me when I was sick," she said, rubbing her hand against his upper arm. Eli grinned at her with the highest appreciation; she actually gave up her whole day just to be with him while he was sick and that meant so much to him.

"You are the best girlfriend in the world," he said to her.

Clare rolled her eyes.

"If you say so."

Her eyes soon traveled down to his torso; she knew that it was probably not right to gaze at her boyfriend's body while he was sick, but she could not help but marvel at him.

"Are you checking me out, Saint Clare?" he teased.

"What can I say?" she shrugged. "You're sexy even when you're sick."

"And it doesn't really hurt that I have the most beautiful healer in the world lying next to me," he added, causing Clare to bite on her bottom lip, speechless due to the flattery. As he watched her, he could not help but feel the urge to experience the one thing he believed could help him feel better. "You know, I don't think what I have is contagious."

"Subtle," she smirked before putting her lips on his and kissing him.

The sensational of her lips on his was phenomenal as always and Eli's heart began beating faster and faster. He felt on top of the world, but at the same time he felt on the bottom of it. The more his heart thumped against his chest, the more blood started going through his veins and the hotter he became. He began to feel a bit lightheaded and he quickly retracted his lips to take in some air; he felt dizzy and decided to put his head back down on the pillow.

"Okay, I'm starting to feel really hot now," he told her.

Clare then unwrapped herself from him and sat back up on the bed.

"That's it, no more making out until you're better," she warned him.

"I hate to admit it, but I think that's a good idea," he accepted as he sat up and took a drink of water.

"Are you okay?" she asked gently, hoping that their kisses did not produce something horrible.

"Yeah," he answered as he lied back down. "I just need to take it easy."

He put his hand on her thigh and brushed his fingertips over the skin before letting out a sigh.

"First I end cancelling our day out and now I can't kiss my girlfriend; talk about rotten luck."

"Look on the plus side," Clare advised. "At least you don't have to do anything today but relax."

"True," he acceded. "And I have my wife with me."

Clare smiled down at him as he referred to her as his spouse.

"_Future_ wife," she corrected.

"You're still a wife of some kind."

She chuckled before taking his hand and holding it tight.

"If you say so, _husband_."

Eli smirked at her before bringing her hand to his lips and giving it a kiss.

"Has Alyson been a pain to you lately?" he asked.

"Not really," Clare said. "She's lying off a bit now that she got her way with me not staying the night with you when my dad's at home."

"That's better than nothing," he stated. "And maybe she'll come around if she ever gets to know me."

Deep down, Clare wanted Alyson and Eli to get to know each other to prevent any future disagreements concerning him, but she had to remember that this was reality. She did not want Alyson to criticize Eli every chance she got and she knew that her future stepmother would find some way to do that. The idea of them actually seeing eye-to-eye one day seemed like a pipe dream, but Clare would be amazed and happy if it came true.

"I'll guess we'll have to wait and see," she said.

"I . . ." He did not continue, for he had to put his hand over his mouth to muffle a yawn. "I guess so."

"Tired?" she asked.

"A bit," he answered.

"Why don't you take a nap?"

"What about you?" he asked, the nap sounding quite inviting but he was very apprehensive since Clare was there.

"I'll read or something," she shrugged.

"Okay," he agreed. "If you need anything, wake me up."

"I'll manage," she answered; there was no way she was going to wake him up while he was in this state. "Just get some rest."

He situated himself until he was comfortable on the mattress, not bothering to cover himself up with the covers or sheets. It was not long until he found himself drifting off and falling into a slumber . . .

_They were in Morty, sitting on a shoulder of the road as they looked at each other. Her eyes were bloodshot and there was presence of tears were on her face; he looked at her, his heart breaking knowing that she had been spilling tears and he had been at the University of Ottawa. He had been there for four months now and this had been the first time he could find the time to visit._

_"Clare, what's the matter?" he asked softly. He went to take her left hand, but he paused when he noticed that the promise ring he had given her was no longer on her finger. "What happened to you ring?"_

_Clare sniffled and met Eli's eyes, tears leaking out of her eyes._

_"We need to break up," she told him._

_His heart hit the inside of his chest repeatedly; it was as though a heavy fist existed inside him and desired nothing more than to beat him until he died._

_"What are you talking about? W-We're getting married one day; that's what we planned."_

_"Eli . . . I can't do this. You're gone all the time and I never see you. I-I can't keep living like that."_

_"Clare, you're going to be attending Ottawa next year; we just have to hang on until then, right?"_

_"No, Eli," she said, shaking her head. "I can't hold on for that long."_

_Eli did not understand. What about everything they had been through? What about their love? What about their promises?_

_"Clare, we're in love with each other. We can't just –."_

_"I'm not in love with you anymore, Eli."_

_Eli's stomach dropped and he started to perspire from him forehead. He needed answers and he needed them fast. This could not be happening . . . Clare promised him forever and there was no way she could be taking it back now . . . can she?_

_"I'm sorry," Clare said as she opened the door of the car. "But . . . it's over."_

_"Clare, please," he began to plead, taking the hand he neglected to hold minutes before. "Please, don't go."_

_"Let go of me!" she demanded before pulling her hand out of his. She picked up a bike that was lying on the side of the road and began to ride off. He could not let her get away . . . he refused to let her get away. He got out of the hearse and cupped his hands over his mouth._

_"CLARE! CLARE, PLEASE!"_

_She just kept riding the bike and he just kept calling after her. She was about to make a turn . . . and that's when he saw the SUV speeding down the road she was about to take. She turned . . . the SUV kept speeding . . . the driver did not see the cycler . . . _

_"NO!"_

Eli's eyes snapped open, drenched in cold sweat and panting heavily. He knew that he could not have slept more than an hour, but the dream he had made him feel as though time had slowed down, ergo felt longer than it was. He his body was trembling and his heart was hammering against his chest; if he had eaten anything today, he was certain that he would have thrown it up by now. He rubbed his eyes and turned to his side, the washcloth falling off his head and onto his pillow; it was damp, so he assumed that Clare must have soaked it again while he slept.

_Clare._

He sat up abruptly, not caring if it was not helping his health; he looked around his room, but Clare was not in sight. She was missing . . . gone . . . dead.

"Clare!" he called out, his mind racing.

"I'm downstairs!" she called from the floor below. "I'll be up in a second!"

Eli let out a breath of relief, but that did make the effects of the dream disappear. That conversation they had was so intense and so real that it could have easily happened in real life . . . it did happen in real life. A fight, a bicycle, an accident . . . it was too familiar to him. He breathed in and out, recalling how he had lost Julia that way and how Clare almost died not too long ago. He forced himself to remember that Clare was not dead; she was downstairs and would be up here again with him soon.

However, that was not the only part of the dream he had on his mind; what she said to him may have just been a scene of a nightmare, but it was a possibility that it could happen someday. For all he knew, she could get tired of him being so far away, she could stop loving him, and she could break up with him without any warning. It was an unbearable concept to grasp and it caused Eli to tremble even more. He lied down on his side, breathing heavily and trying to calm down; he closed his eyes, hoping that he could gain control of himself soon.

"Eli? Eli, are you okay?" a voice said moments later as a gentle hand rested on his bicep. "Eli? Baby, are you alright?"

He opened his eyes, more relief washing over him when he saw Clare sitting next to him and trying to meet his eyes. She gently moved her hand from his arm to his cheek, cupping it gently; he could feel the ring she wore against his skin and he felt himself calm down even more.

"Are you okay?" she repeated.

Eli took a breath and sat up, wishing that his hands would stop shaking.

"I'm okay," he said so quietly that it was almost inaudible.

"Are you sure?" she asked as she rubbed her hand on his shoulder, not caring if her palm would soon be covered in his perspiration.

"B-Bad dream, that's all," he was finally able to choke out before grabbing his glass of water and gulping half of it down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, curious and worried as to how this dream affected him this way.

"No, I'm fine," he said, not wanting her to hear the details.

It was just a dream; that's what he kept telling himself: it was just a dream. Clare was _not_ going to break up with him, she was _not _going to stop loving him, and she was absolutely _not_ going to die the same way Julia did. What he saw was nothing more than a figment of his subconscious. He kept repeating that to himself . . . just like he had been.

"It's just a dream," he told Clare, slightly surprised on how stable his voice sounded.

"Really?" she made sure.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Eli –."

"I'm fine," he assured her for the final time. "Just a little shaken, that's all."

He did not want to let Clare know about his worries; if he did, she would probably get hurt because of his lack of faith in her and then end up breaking up with him anyway. He admitted that idea was unlikely to happen, for Clare was not that kind of person. However, he knew that she would say all she could to ease his fears; unfortunately, words can only do so much until they are nothing more than memories. He did not want to put her in that situation, so he decided to keep it quiet.

Clare was not convinced that he was completely fine, but she knew that pestering him about it would not help. Reluctantly, she said "okay" and dropped the subject, although it was still going through her head. She then grabbed something off the ground and transferred it to the bed; it was two plates and two cups on a tray. The plates contained one grilled cheese sandwich on each and orange juice filled both the cups.

"Lunch is served."

"Clare, you didn't have to do all this," he said, amazed that she went through the trouble.

"I didn't mind. Plus, your stomach was growling as you slept; I thought you'd be getting hungry."

She was right; he had not eaten anything all day and he was getting a bit of an appetite.

"Okay, saying you're the best girlfriend ever is officially an understatement for you," he said to her. She blushed slightly before they began to eat.

He had to say that the grilled cheese sandwich she made was one of the best he ever had; he was not sure whether she had a different technique of making it or if he was biased, but he loved it. The conversations they had were short, but the silence between was comfortable, thus they did not feel the need to force the need to talk.

Once they were done eating, Eli had calmed down, but his mind still kept returning to the dream.

_It's just a dream_,_ Eli. It was just a dream. It's not going to happen_, he scolded himself repeatedly.

Just to remind himself that it was only a dream, Eli told Clare that he loved her as often as possible and kept mentioning how happy he was that they were getting married someday and she responded with the equal amount of happiness. Clare took notice of his constant comments and, although she also loved him and was looking forward to marrying him, she also observed how distant he was. There were times when he was silent for a long time; at first she thought it was just the heat exhaustion affecting him, but whenever she mentioned Ottawa, university, or their potential long-distance relationship, his eyes went cold.

She wanted to ask him if there was something bothering him, but she knew that he did not want to talk about anything that intense while he was sick. She tried to let it go and they continued with the small conversations they had; every so often, however, she could not help but wonder what was on his mind.

Although the curiosity existed, she did not let Eli know it. Instead, she sat there next to him as he relaxed. Hours later, CeCe came home and praised Clare for coming over and taking care of her son; Clare assured her that it was not a problem at all just like how she assured Eli throughout the day. CeCe soon left the room to give the teenagers some privacy, but not before giving Clare a huge hug.

"You are _such_ a sweetheart," she smiled before leaving the two of them alone.

"She's going to worship you forever now," Eli told Clare.

Not sure how to respond to that, she smiled at him before leaning down to kiss his cheek; it was warm due to his fever, but he was not as warm as he was hours ago.

"I think your temperature is going down," she informed him.

"Great," he said. "Hopefully it'll be gone by this time tomorrow and then . . ."

He sat up and leaned toward her until his lips touched hers.

"No making out, remember?" she warned him, retracting her lips for his sake.

"How about this?" he said before brushing his lips on her neck. She giggled a bit as his lips tickled her skin and left light kisses, but she resisted the temptation for him to continue and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Easy there, tiger," Clare said, easing him back onto the bed. "I don't want to risk anything."

"Alright, alright," he accepted. "But, once I'm healthy again . . ."

She chuckled as he wiggled his eyebrows; he may have been under the weather, but she took his sense of humor as a sign of recovering. They spent the next couple of hours discussing books and story ideas; Clare graced him with small kisses every so often, but they were never heated or intense. As they talked, they eventually got onto the subject of their cancelled date and how they had to postpone one last item on their agenda.

"You know how we planned on you staying over tonight?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Would it hurt your feelings if we reschedule?" he asked, knowing that Clare would give off body heat and he needed to stay as cool as possible as he slept.

"Not at all," she answered honestly. "I can wait until you're feeling better."

"If I'm feeling better tomorrow, do you want to stay over? I can drive you to church on Sunday morning."

"I'll have to see what my mom says, but I will if you're up for it."

Clare then looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand and saw that it was seven thirty.

"Speaking of my mom, she's probably wondering where I am by now."

"Do you have to go?" he asked.

She nodded, crestfallen.

"I'm sorry."

Disheartened that Clare was leaving yet understanding her reason, Eli took her hand.

"Can I call you tomorrow?"

"I'd love that," she consented. She leaned down and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied.

"I hope you feel better soon."

"Thanks," Eli said. "And thanks again for coming."

"No problem," she grinned before standing up and heading towards the door; before she left, she turned to Eli one last time. "Goodnight."

She saw him give her a tired smile before closing the door behind her. Now that she was out of Eli's sight, she was able to put her walls down and start reflecting; she could not understand why he had been acting so strange. The only reason he could have been acting this way was because of his dream; it would make sense, considering he was normal before he went to sleep and only began acting peculiar afterwards. Clare walked down the stairs, trying to figure out what horrible event could have played out in his dream to shake him so much.

"Hi, Clare."

CeCe's voice from the bottom of the stairs interrupted her thoughts and she put her walls right back up again.

"Hi," she replied.

"How's Eli doing?"

"He's sleeping, but his fever's going down."

"That's good. Do you want to stay for dinner?" CeCe invited. "I'm making fettuccini."

"Thanks, but I'm sure my mom wants me home."

"Okay," she accepted. "Thank you _so _much again for coming over."

"It's no problem," Clare reassured her with a grin. "I was happy to."

"Well, you give me a call if you need anything."

"Alright, thanks."

Clare walked towards the door and was about to put her hand on the knob when her mind started thinking; if anyone in this world had an idea what was going on in Eli's head, it would be CeCe or Bullfrog. This could have been her only opportunity to understand what was happening and she would be foolish to pass it up.

"Um . . . actually, CeCe, can I talk to you about something?" she began, turning back around.

"Sure, sweetheart," she permitted. "What is it?"

"Is Eli . . . has Eli been acting strange lately?"

"Did he have another nightmare?"

"Y-Yeah," Clare said, surprised that this has happened before. "Has he been having a lot of them?"

"Well . . ." she began. Part of her really did not want to reveal his private life if he did not want anyone else outside their family to know, but Clare was his girlfriend _and _a part of their family; if she was concerned, she had the right to know how Eli was feeling. "Here, let's sit down for a second."

Clare followed her into the living room and they both sat on the sofa. CeCe looked a bit somber, but Clare could not tell if that was genuine or if her imagination was playing tricks on her. Either way, she wanted to know what was going on with her boyfriend. His mother sighed before speaking, hoping that Clare would understand.

"You see . . . Eli is starting to get a bit worried; he's leaving in a month for university and he's just getting nervous about it."

"Really?" she asked, not having the slightest idea was that afraid about leaving. "And he's having bad dreams because of that?"

CeCe nodded and Clare's stomach turned; she remembered the horrible dreams she had before the trial against Kate not so long ago and she did want Eli to deal with that sort of torture.

"Do you know what his dreams are about? If you don't mind me asking," she added quickly.

"He doesn't go into detail, but . . . basically he comes back home and . . . you break up with him and you tell him you don't love him anymore."

Clare's lips parted in shock; she could see why Eli would be shaken about that dream, considering everything they had been through and everything they had promised.

"How long has this been going on?" Clare asked.

"A week or so," CeCe answered. "And they're really not helping his nerves; he knows that they're just dreams, but now he can't help but think about things."

"Is he thinking about not going?" she asked, not wanting him to throw away his future.

"He hasn't applied anywhere else and he has his scholarship, so he's keeping that in mind," she explained. "And he wants to go there; he just doesn't want to leave you. He's very torn, Clare. He wants to go to Ottawa, but he is very apprehensive about leaving you here; he cares about you and he knows there is that chance that the two of you could break up and that worries him."

"I'm not going to break up with him," Clare said pointblank. "I've told him that a million times."

"I know, but sometimes words can only do so much, you know? Like, have you ever worried that he would break up with you even though he gave you your promise ring?"

Clare sat there and reflected; she never had nightmares about Eli breaking up with her, but she did have her worries. Maybe it was normal to have these fears, so she just kept reminding herself that Eli would never give up on her, at least not without a fight, therefore she knew that they would be fine. She nodded in answer to CeCe's question.

"Why didn't he tell me?" she whispered, mainly to herself.

"You know how guys are; they don't want to let down their guards when they're worried about these things."

Clare comprehended that, but she still wish Eli came to her and maybe then she could have eased his worries to a certain extent.

"Be honest with me, Clare: do you want him to go to Ottawa?" CeCe interrogated her.

Clare nodded, "If he wants to go."

"But do _you_ want him to go?"

She took a breath and gave her answer some consideration before voicing it.

"Yes," she said. "I mean, I'll miss him and everything, but that's where he wants to go and I don't want to stop him."

"Is the distance going to bother you?"

"Yeah," she answered. "But I'll deal with it."

Just like her son, CeCe was amazed that Clare was willing to do so much for him; she stayed with him all day, she helped him with his hoarding in the past, and now she was going to have a long-distance relationship so her boyfriend could get his education. It was most remarkable to CeCe and she could not honestly imagine a better person becoming a part of her family one day.

"Is there anything I could do to make him feel better?" Clare asked.

CeCe gave Clare a one-armed hug out of comfort and reverence for her determination.

"He'll be fine, Clare. Just give him the love you've been giving him and give him time to get used to being away from Toronto and he'll be back to himself in no time."

"He will?"

"You know how Eli is; it just takes him time to get used to new things and then he's back to normal."

Clare nodded, highly aware of that fact; she heeded CeCe's words and vowed to herself to give Eli all the support he needed until he was used to the life he was about to start living.

"Come on, I'll give you ride home," CeCe offered, not wanting her future daughter-in-law to ride her bike in the dark. As the two females stood up, Clare began to ponder; she knew that CeCe probably knew Eli a bit better than she did, but she was not going to sit back and let him continue having these nightmares. She was more than determined to find a way to convince Eli that she was not going anywhere and that she was his forever no matter what.

* * *

"_You are not alone_

_For I am here with you"_

_~"You Are Not Alone" by Michael Jackson_

* * *

Thank you to Moxxy for helping me out with this chapter! I owe you girl! You guys go check out her stories (she is awesome)!

Okay, I think that everyone has seen the episode now, so . . . FANGIRL TIME!

Two ships I support got together! Or, kissed at least! FIMOGEN AND ECLARE! Love them! Now, I actually don't want Eli and Clare to go straight into a relationship; they should be friends first and THEN get into a relationship so that way the relationship can last . . . well, FOREVER! Review please!


	102. I'm Your Angel

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone! I just want to take this moment to thank everyone who came aboard despite the insane length of this fic. Seriously, I don't know many people who would just start reading a fic when it's over thirty (let alone a hundred) chapters, but many of you did, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. Chapter dedicated to Lindsey Goldsworthy for the review and mur xo for supporting many of my fics!

So, my summer homework is completely done, so I'm free for the summer! Expect more updates on this (for some reason, I hate updating only once a week). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . it's peanut butter jelly time!

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Two

I'm Your Angel

As he promised, Eli called Clare the next day. He had been feeling a lot better, but was still not in a healthy enough state to do much; Clare offered to come over and keep him company, but he declined, claiming that she did enough for him the day before. She insisted that she did not mind, but he convinced her to have a day to herself. Before their conversation came to a close, he proposed that he, Alli, Adam, and Clare all have a movie day at his house that Monday around noon. Clare, who would be more than happy to spend time with her three best friends before going to work, accepted with a grin on her face.

Once their conversation was finished, Clare made the realization that she was alone in her house with nothing to do. Eli was still recuperating from his heat exhaustion, Helen was at work, and Alli was out with Adam. She was actually a bit relieved that she was alone and had some privacy; all night and all through that morning, she had been reflecting on her and CeCe's conversation from the night before. It still shook her that Eli was worried about her breaking up with him after all they had been through; then again, she could not blame him since she had the same fear on occasion. In fact, she was just as terrified that the three hundred miles between them would harm their relationship. She was worried, but when she looked down at her finger and saw her promise ring, she remembered the strong bond she and Eli had; after looking through some text messages, gazing at some pictures, and imagining their wedding day, her faith was soon restored.

Eli was a different story. She wanted to prove to him that she was not going to break up with him, but she did not know how. She did not want to throw CeCe under the bus by telling him that his mother had told her information that he, clearly, did not want her to know. Clare knew they had promised to be honest with each other about everything, but she could not blame him for keeping this private; she had been doing the same thing and it would be hypocritical to point the finger at him. All she knew right now was that Eli was worried and he had to go to Ottawa in soon and the last thing she wanted was for him to have sleepless nights due to nightmares.

There had to be a way to make him understand her intentions. She sat on her bed with a piece of notebook paper and began writing down a list of ideas on how to complete her task; she did not have many ideas, for she was sticking with the saying actions speak louder than words. She then spent the next half an hour making a list and crossing out all the ideas that would not work.

Sex was the first item she put on the list and it was the first one she crossed out. Their promise to wait was too important to the both of them and she knew that it would take a lot to persuade Eli to do that. Plus, she wanted to be passive about this and not draw attention to the fact that she knew how he felt and throwing herself at him would be too explicit. She looked through the list over and over again before reaching the conclusion that everything she thought of was too obvious, too cheesy, or not powerful enough. Sighing in defeat, she lied down on her bed, telling herself that she would think of something before the movie day tomorrow.

()()

Eli was whistling as he came into the house the next morning, grocery bags secured in his arms. He was feeling a hundred percent better, physically and emotionally; he awoke that morning full of happiness since today was the day that Alli, Adam, and Clare would be coming over to have a movie day. He was so excited for it that he had even left the house early and embraced the July sun to purchase some snacks for them to eat.

He convinced his parents to go out for the day so the teenagers could have some privacy. They had already left and the house was empty, so all Eli had to do was make the final preparations and their movie day would begin. He began pulling all of the food out of the bags when he heard a knock at the door. He checked the time on the oven and saw that it was eleven o'clock; since no one else was expected to come over, he knew it had to be one of the three people he invited.

"Hey," Clare greeted him brightly as he opened the door.

"Hey yourself," he grinned back at her before letting her in the house. "You don't have to knock, you know."

"Sorry, habit," she said as he led her into the kitchen, the paper bags immediately catching her eye. "What's all this?"

"Just some snacks for today; we have all flavors of chips, Skittles, pretzels, ingredients for nachos, soda, and pizza pockets to go with our hours of entertainment."

"Awesome," Clare approved. "And we still have an hour until the happy couple arrives."

"Ah, all this time I thought we were the happy couple," he smirked.

Clare rolled her eyes playfully taking his hand and leading him back to his living room; she pulled him all the way to the couch she and CeCe sat on two days ago. She had given the subject of his anxiety a lot of thought and she believed that she had figured out a way to prove to him that she was staying with him until the end of time; all she hoped for now was that it would help him believe her. Before she could let out a single word, however, Eli looked at her and began to speak.

"You know, I'm no longer sick."

"Oh really?" she grinned as she put her purse on the coffee table, knowing what he was implying.

"Yes," he said, scooting a bit closer to her.

"Hmm . . . then I guess it's time for a different type of TLC."

Clare then cupped Eli's jaw and put her lips to his. She did not waste any time from changing the kiss from chaste to passionate; she quickly began teasing his lips and tongue with her own. Whenever she thought he was about to lean away, she gently took his bottom lip between her teeth before kissing him again.

"I love you," she whispered huskily to him as they readjusted their lips.

"I love you too."

"Eli," she said, sliding her hand from his jaw to his heart. "I love you . . . I love you more than anyone in the world. I want to marry you, spend the rest of my life with you, have your children, grow old with you, and be with you forever. I don't want to be with any other guys, I don't even want to imagine being with someone else, and I want be yours no matter what happens."

Eli, although glad to hear that they had the same interpretations of their relationship, was taken aback by how direct she was being. She had never stated such words without reason and he could not see why she was doing it now.

"I just thought I'd let you know that," she explained, sensing his bewilderment.

"Okay," he said. "Well, I love you too and I can't wait until you're my wife."

He gave her a small grin and leaned in for a kiss, but Clare was determined to not let them get off topic. She turned her head so she was looking at the ground.

"Are you okay?" he asked, noticing how she deflected.

"Um . . . yeah . . . I'm just thinking."

"Want to share with the class?" he offered.

Clare rolled her lips, looked at Eli, and took the plunge.

"In a bit more than three weeks, we're going to be in a long-distance relationship."

"Clare, we don't have to worry about that right now," he spoke up, unsure where this conversation would lead and he was a bit frightened to find out. "We still have another three weeks together."

"Avoiding it until it gets here is not going to make things any better when it's time for you to leave," she argued. "Three weeks isn't that long."

"I know, so let's spend that time together living in the moment instead of dreading it."

She understood why Eli was not onboard with talking about this, but she also knew that this was something they needed to discuss. If they did not, he could decide to not go to Ottawa or he could have more nightmares.

"You're avoiding the subject."

"There's no subject to avoid," he retorted; Clare ignored him and pressed on.

"Listen, I'm not the biggest fan of us starting a long-distance relationship either, but –."

"I'm fine with it, okay?" he snapped. He turned to the front and stared at the coffee table, more determined to look its edge than his girlfriend's eyes. Clare, of course, was not going to stop until she got to the bottom of this; she knew that the sooner they sorted this out, the better Eli would sleep at night.

"Be honest with me, Eli: are you worried about leaving?"

"No," he said. Clare glared at him, knowing that now was the time to be earnest instead of hesitant. "Well . . . maybe I am a bit."

As he admitted this to her, images from his nightmares came back to him. He could remember how Dream Clare had told him so many awful things; she had cheated on him, she had broken up with him for no reason, or they had a horrible fight and she left him. He really wanted to believe that these were just dreams, but miles of road and limited visits could make them reality.

"I'm . . . I'm more worried about certain things than others," he then confessed, his mouth acting before his mind could stop him.

"Like what?" she asked.

Eli did not answer; he did not want to reveal his fears because he was afraid that they would come true and he did not want Clare to get the impression that he did not have faith in their relationship. Seeing his apprehension, Clare took his hand held it tight; he continued to avoid her eye, but that did not stop her from speaking.

"Eli," she began softly, "it's me; it's your wife."

At those words, she saw Eli's lips twitch, almost forming a grin; feeling more confident in what she was saying, Clare continued.

"You know that you can tell me anything and it's not going to make me stop loving you. Please, talk to me."

He considered opening his heart, but it was hard for him to do at times, even around Clare. He did appreciate that she was allowing him to open up, so he took that as a sign that she was prepared for anything he had to say. Eli looked down at his knees, trying to find a way to describe his emotions. After seconds of brief silence, there was only one logical way for him to put his feelings into words:

"I don't want us to break up."

"We're not going to," Clare told him. She was relieved that Eli was finally opening up to her, but now she had to do what she came here to do. She held his hand tighter and tried to meet his eyes. "I'm yours for as long as you want me to be."

"But what if you don't want to be mine for as long as I want you to be?"

"I'm yours forever, Eli," she promised, cradling his hand in both of hers now; she made sure what her promise ring was showing itself to him as he looked down at their hands. "I'm not going anywhere."

Eli rolled his lips, all his fears coming back to him as they did all the times he had his night terrors.

"It's a scary thing to think about, Clare. I'm going to be gone weeks, maybe months at a time; a lot can change."

"Things probably will, but that doesn't mean we're going to stop caring about each other or loving each other."

"But what if that happens? What if we stop loving each other and break up?"

"Do you really think that's going to happen?" she asked.

"It's possible."

"Babe, we talked about this," Clare reminded him, hoping that addressing him by this pet name would bring him console. "We're going to call, email, go on our long-distance dates, everything. If we keep in touch and visit, we won't grow apart and we'll stay together."

"But there's more involved her than us staying in touch and visiting."

"Like what? We love each other and we want to stay together; that's enough."

"I mean that there are going to be a lot of things other than the distance that could hurt our relationship."

"What do you mean?" she asked, seeing the three hundred miles as the only issue they had no control over.

This was a topic Eli did not want to address, but he had to if Clare was ever going to see his side. He did not want Clare to think that he did not trust her, so this put him in a difficult decision. It was either he told her and risked her feelings being hurt or he did not tell her and continue to dwell on this. Despite the pros and cons of each situation, he did not want to keep this inside him and he knew that Clare would not want him to hide this away. Hoping that Clare would not be hurt, he prepared his words.

"Clare . . . guys like you."

She let out a bark of laughter, not believing him.

"I'm serious," he said. "A lot of the guys in my class think you're pretty and . . . that makes me worried."

"Really?" she said.

"I mean . . . you are beautiful and if there are guys in my class alone find you that way, odds are others will as well. And . . . if I'm gone and if guys like you . . . they'll probably flirt and . . ."

"That will create problems?" she assumed.

Eli nodded.

"It's not that I don't trust you," he added hurriedly. "I just –."

"You don't have to explain, Eli; that stuff worries me too," she admitted. "You're going to be surrounded by college girls who are going to find you attractive; that's a bit scary to me considering what happened with Kate."

"I've learned my lesson from that; nothing like that is going to happen again."

"Alright," she grinned. "And I'm not going to let anything happen with any guys, okay? You're the only guy who I care about in that way and I'll stop anyone who tries to make me think otherwise."

"But . . . what if one wins you over?"

Clare then released Eli's hands and pulled him close to her until they were embracing.

"They'd have to be exactly like you in every way imaginable for that to even become a possibility," she whispered in his ear.

He held onto Clare, her words and arms giving him comfort.

"I promise I won't make the same mistake twice," he said, promising Clare and himself not to let the history with Kate repeat itself.

"I know," she assured him as she pulled back and took his hands again. "We have to trust each other, okay? We can't lose that."

Eli nodded, knowing that he would not do anything to betray her trust again; he almost broke months ago when he lost it that time because of Kate. What they had was special, but they were in a delicate situation with taking such a huge risk, so it was crucial that they could do everything to stay together.

She had all the answers to all the problems; at least, that's how Eli saw it. Every issue he had with long-distance seemed to already have a solution because of Clare; sure, maybe the ideas weren't extraordinary, but they were probable. As much as he loved her confidence in their love, he also could not help but feel like she did not fear for their relationship or see the factors that could lead to their downfall.

"Are you worried about us at all?"

"A bit," she admitted to him. "I'm just hoping that we get through it; and it's not like we're having issues, so I'm feeling good about this."

"You're feeling good about us having a long-distance relationship?" he stated, seeing the irony in that sentence.

"I mean we trust each other and love each other, so I'm hoping that will be more than enough to keep us together."

Clare was a never-ending wonder to Eli. When she was sick, she pushed herself through school even if it was a Friday; when she came out of a coma, she started getting right back into her schoolwork. Now she had her fears about this long-distance relationship but had enough faith in their love to get through it. It was astounding to Eli; so astounding, in fact, that he was slightly envious of her for being able to have such high spirits.

"I wish I had your optimism," he said with a small smirk and Clare chuckled lightly.

"Well, if you can't have that . . ."

She reached for her purse and took out a small black box.

"Here's a part of me that you will always have with you when you're away," she concluded as she held it out to him.

Curious, he took it from her and opened the box; inside was a necklace that held a small vial with a cap on it. The cap was secured on the vial by some unbreakable substance; the metal top of the cap was connected to a thick black thread that formed a necklace. Inside the vial was a thick, dark liquid that Eli instantly recognized.

"Blood?" he asked.

She nodded as Eli gazed at it some more. This was more than blood; it was the blood of Clare Edwards. No one else in the world – the universe – would have the same blood as her. It was something that was solely hers that could not be replaced and she was blessing him with it.

He noticed the Band-Aid that stuck on the crook of her arm, which caused him to draw the conclusion that she had put a needle in her arm so the blood could be taken out of her; he knew how much Clare despised needles, so he felt more honored than ever that Clare did that for him.

"How did you –?"

"A friend of Melissa's helped me out," she informed, recalling how she met her at church yesterday. "She has connections, so I was able to get it done"

"You hate needles," he reminded her.

She shrugged her shoulders before saying, "It was worth it."

Clare took a part of herself away from her body just so he could have a piece of her with him no matter what. Because of these drops of blood, he was able to see that she had meant every word she had said about being with him forever and never stop loving him; she would not have given this to him if that was not the case.

"Clare . . . I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll wait for me," she told him pointblank. "No matter what happens, promise me that we'll get through this and we'll get married someday."

As far as Eli was concerned, he and Clare could go through the depths of hell and back over and over again and still be in love with each other. Over the course of their relationship, they have had their struggles, fights, breakups, and drama and they were still together and still deeply in love. His heart screaming his passion for Clare, he put his lips to hers and kissed them lovingly for seconds; when he pulled away, he kept this face close to hers and gazed into her eyes.

"I'll wait for you; I promise," he whispered to her, his breath tickling her lips.

"I believe you," she responded.

He then turned his attention back to the small vial of blood in his hand, still in awe that Clare did this for him.

"Thank you so much."

"You're welcome," she said modestly with a humble grin. Eli slid the necklace over his head; he was careful, determined to not damage the vial of Clare's precious blood in any way. He turned back to her and cupped the side of her neck and caressed his thumb over a section of her jaw.

"Do you know how amazing you are?" he asked as they rested their foreheads together.

"Are you still worried about us?" Clare asked, disregarding his question.

A small grin coming to his lips in company with the glint in his eyes, Eli concealed the vial in his hand as it grew warm against his palm.

"Not as much as I was an hour ago."

Clare grinned, praying that giving him this token would give him peace and rid him of bad dreams.

"Do you think we're going to be okay?" she asked.

Eli nodded.

"I _know_ we're going to be okay."

They smiled at each other before their lips met in a sweet kiss. Their lips fondled as Clare put her hand over Eli's as it held onto the vial. As they held onto her blood and as their skin met, they knew they were connected as one in mind and heart and that they always would be forever.

"I love you," he told her as he leaned away.

"I love you too. So much," she added with a whisper.

* * *

"_And when it's time to face the storm _

_I'll be right by your side _

_Grace will keep us safe and warm_

_I know we will survive"_

_~"I'm Your Angel" by Celine Dion featuring R. Kelly_

* * *

A picture of Eli's vial will be on my twitter, but will be put up in a vlog eventually. Also, many pictures have been removed from my twitter somehow, so I PROMISE that I will put all mentioned pictures in a vlog soon.

Recommendations: musiksnob and eclarefanxxx (awesome writers).

Okay, just for fun, let's see if we can reach 1,200 reviews before I post the next chapter. I know it's a stretch, but that's why it's fun. I'm not doing this for any reason other than to see if it's possible because I love testing possibilities (you guys should know by now that I'm cuckoo bananas). Reviews please?

Oh, and HOW ABOUT THAT PROMO?


	103. Say Goodbye

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you guys for your reviews! Crissychan350, ilovetaylorswift13, The Cliffhanger Girl, mur xo, sushi.23, Moxxy, My world of Eli, Eclarexoxo, simplecrafter, degrassifangirl151, Lindsey Goldsworthy, and Anon, thank you all! You're all awesome people! As for the person or people who want me to stop writing, not going to happen. I don't care if my story's existence (or my existence for that matter), annoys you; I love writing this story and I'm not going to stop writing it just because of what you said. Sorry to the awesome people; just a little FYI to the world.

Alright, we didn't reach the goal, but oh well. It was just for fun and I updated rather quickly, so it doesn't matter. Okay, there's a lot of stuff in this chapter so I'm hoping that I did my best to make it flow. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: My outlaw eyes have seen their lies. Wait, why did I put a Black Veil Brides lyric here? Dang, I'm losing it. I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Three

Say Goodbye

Eli's nightmares scarcely haunted him ever since Clare gave him the vial of her blood. He had much more hope in their relationship and he was confident that he and Clare would not break up while he was away. It was also a relief to Clare that her boyfriend was not afraid anymore and that he was now sleeping through the night. She stayed overnight at his house for a week and not once did he wake up in the middle of the night. CeCe had even reassured her that Eli had not had one nightmare since their talk.

The summer continued on as usual despite Eli's small setback. The couple had sleepovers, they went to work at the Dot, and they spent time with Alli and Adam. The relationship of their best friends continued swimmingly throughout the weeks; they were glued at the hip and spent much of their time talking to each other. Clare thought that they had a cute relationship while Eli was just happy that Adam was happy with Alli.

Unfortunately, it was now the Tuesday of the next to last week of July. Within three days, Adam would be on his way to Trent University. A week after his departure, Eli would be traveling to Ottawa. Time was ticking away and everyone was getting knots in their stomachs. Despite the faith they had in their love, Eli and Clare were less than thrilled about being apart by three hundred miles. The longest they had been apart was at the very beginning of their relationship when it was winter break and when Eli was suspended for a week, so they did not know how they were going to deal with being apart for such a long time. Not wishing to dwell on it, they were determined to make the rest of the summer enjoyable.

The two couples were now at the food court in the mall for lunch spending quality time together. Adam's arm was resting around Alli's shoulders as Eli and Clare simply sat next to each other, grinning inwardly as they observed their friends.

"Can you believe that our little Adam is going off to university in three days?" Clare stated, knowing that one of her best friends would be missing from her life along with her boyfriend.

"I think I'm going to cry," Eli said dramatically, putting his hand over his heart and turning his eyes up to the ceiling.

"Shut up," Adam said, tossing a rolled up napkin at Eli's forehead. As the ball rebounded off his head and back onto the table, Eli stopped his dramatics and turned back to the table.

"Have you started packing yet?" he asked Adam.

"Are you kidding?" he exclaimed. "All week I've been going through my room and stuffing things into boxes."

Alli really did not want to hear about how Adam was going to college; that would mean she would have to bring up a subject she did not want to discuss right now in front of Eli and Clare. Hoping to stray away from this topic but not make it too obvious, she steered the conversation in a different direction.

"What about you, Eli?" Alli asked. "Started packing yet?"

"No, he has not," Clare then said, turning to her boyfriend and glaring playfully at him. "_Someone's_ been procrastinating."

"I have not been procrastinating; I've been distracted," he said, shooting a look back at Clare.

"Oh, don't blame me, Elijah Goldsworthy," she sneered, shoving his shoulder with her own.

"I'll get to it . . . eventually."

"You better," Adam said. "You don't want to leave it until the last minute."

"I won't," Eli said, rolling his eyes in exasperation. "I swear, you guys have no faith in me whatsoever."

As the two boys starting talking more about college dorm arrangements, Clare turned to Alli and noticed the saddened expression. When she noticed that Clare was looking at her, however, she forcefully put a smile on her lips.

"Are you okay?" Clare mouthed silently, not buying the grin on her face.

Alli nodded, but Clare gave her a quizzical stare, determined to get to the truth. Alli saw the look and she knew it was no use to keep her guard up around someone who was practically her sister; she moved her eyes to the edge of the table before shaking her head in small motions before pointing her head towards Adam. Clare then looked back and forth between them and knew that Alli wanted to speak to Adam in private.

However, she was not sure if she wanted to do that. The look on Alli's face was too familiar to Clare; it was one she had seen whenever she had called it quits with her boyfriends and she did not want Adam to get hurt. At the same time, she knew that she could not control Alli's life, so she had to let Alli do what made her happy. But, then again, this would mean Adam would get hurt. It was a tough decision: stay and let Alli be unhappy or leave and risk Adam's heart being broken. She looked at each of them again, wishing that there was a solution to let both of them to be happy.

She took a breath and prayed that the two of them could just talk and work out any problems instead of ending their relationship and risk ruining their friendship. Deciding to put her emotions to the side, she finally began to tune back in to the conversation the boys were having and decided to take action.

"Well, my parents think it's best that I get a private room, given my . . ." Adam trailed off, knowing Eli would get the idea. "But at least that means I won't have to deal with an aggravating roommate or anything."

"Lucky person," Eli grumbled, knowing that this was a possibility for him.

"Um, Eli, I think we need to get to work," she said, standing up and getting her purse.

Before Eli could say anything about the fact that their shift did not start for another hour, Clare raised her eyebrows and he got the message.

"Right," he said, standing up as well. "We'll see you guys later."

"Bye," the couple said as the other two left.

"What's going on?" Eli asked her as they began heading towards the exit of the mall.

"Alli just needs to talk to Adam about something," she answered. She looked over her shoulder and saw her two best friends, who seemed to be having a deep, serious conversation.

()()

"Clare, I'm sure they're going to get everything worked out," Eli assured her as they went up to his room after their shift was over. Since Clare did not have to be home until midnight since it was Randall's week, she and Eli went straight to his house after work to spend time together. She explained everything to Eli on the way home, including the guilt she felt by possibly leaving Adam behind just to get a broken heart.

"I just have this really horrible feeling," Clare explained. "I haven't seen Alli look like that since she decided to break up with Drew."

"Come on," Eli eased her as they both sat down on the edge of his bed. He put and arm around her shoulders and met her eyes. "It's probably just something about him leaving in a few days, that's all."

"I don't know, Eli," she admitted. "She has not been that happy lately."

Over the last few days, Clare observed this trait in her friend's behavior; instead of being upbeat and fun-loving like she usually was, Alli was quiet and reserved.

"She's probably just worried that he's going to break up with her while he's away or something," he assured her.

"So you don't think they're going to break up?" she asked him.

"No," he answered. "They like each other too much."

Clare nodded and looked down at the ground.

"I hope you're right."

"Well, I am most of the time," he shrugged smugly. This caused Clare to laugh lightly and turn to him.

"I can't believe you only have a week and three days left here," she admitted softly, trying not to show the pain in her voice.

"I know. It's going to take me a while to get used to not seeing you every day."

"By the time I get used to it, I'd probably see you over a weekend or something and then I'd have to start all over again."

"Yeah," he said. "But hopefully we'll visit each other enough so that way we don't miss each other for long."

She nodded before scooting closer to him and laying her head on his shoulder.

"I'm going to miss this."

"Me too," he agreed as he held her. "Listen, I'd call you every day if I can, but . . . I'm going to have a job, studying, and everything."

"I know," Clare said, expecting that to happen since he would be in university.

"But I promise that I'll at least try to send you one text a day to tell you that I love you."

Clare grinned at his consideration, but they had to face the reality of this situation. Eli would be working, staying up late to study, doing homework, and he would meet new friends he would like to spend time with. He also had his parents and Adam to think about, so she understood that there would have to be times when he did not talk to her to allow himself to talk to the other people he cared about.

"I know you're going to be busy and that you're probably going to be exhausted by the end of the day, so I'll understand if you don't do it every day."

"Are you sure?" he asked, hoping that she would not be hurt if he forgets to do it at times.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I mean, if we force ourselves to stay in contact, then it would suck talking to each other. If we do it because we want to, it would be more enjoyable for the both of us."

Eli instantly felt a bit of pressure fall off his shoulders. Talking to Clare while he was in Ottawa was not something he would complain about, but it would be tedious to do at times if he had to squeeze it in to his schedule. Knowing that she would not be offended if she did not hear from him every day, he eased her down onto the mattress.

"You're the best, you know that?" he said with a grin; his smile widened when he saw Clare's lips curl into a simper. He then latched his lips to her neck and began leaving a mark on her skin. She giggled as he began traveling up her neck and kissing her jaw, then traveling up to her temple.

"Baby," she laughed quietly as he kissed her.

"I love you," he whispered to her. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she replied before he finally put his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her and deepening the kiss. The moment absorbing him, he slid his hand under her shirt and cupped her waist.

"Eli," she breathed as they kept the kiss going.

"Sorry," he said, under the impression that she was protesting.

"No," she corrected before he removed his hand. "Go higher."

"Hu?" he asked, removing his lips from hers entirely.

"Go higher," Clare repeated, hoping he would get the idea.

Eli hovered over her, unsure of how to react to this situation. Part of him really wanted to touch Clare, but he did not want to cross any boundaries; all summer they had been exploring intimacy without sex whenever she came over, but the furthest they got was her sleeping in her undergarments while he slept in his boxers. She had never allowed him to touch her in certain areas, so he was unsure if she was willing to take that step now.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Would I be asking you otherwise?"

She had a point; she would not be offering if she was uncomfortable. Grinning, Eli put his lips to hers again and slowly began sliding his hand over the soft skin of her waist. He was slow, giving her a chance to stop him if she changed her mind. He was at her ribcage now, only a few centimeters away from her breast when . . .

His phone started to ring. Growling, Eli rested his head on Clare's collarbone and stopped his hand; it seemed that they were plagued with the curse of interruptions.

"Maybe you should take that," she said, trying not to seem too disappointed.

Annoyed at the unfortunate timing of this situation, he slid his hand away from Clare and sat up before taking his phone from his pocket and answering it.

"Hello," he greeted. "Hey, Adam . . . yeah . . . are you okay? . . . What? . . . Um . . ."

He looked down to Clare, who was still lying on the bed, before speaking to him again.

"Can I call you back in a minute? . . . Thanks, and I'm sorry, man . . . okay . . . bye."

He hung up the phone and saw Clare's eyebrows knit together.

"Is everything okay?"

Eli let out a breath, still trying to let the news sink in.

"I was wrong; Adam and Alli did break up."

"What?" Clare asked, sitting up.

"Yeah," Eli said. "They talked after we left."

"Oh my gosh," Clare said, saddened that both of her best friends were probably brokenhearted.

"And Adam asked me to come over," he added.

"Okay," Clare said. "Is it okay if you drop me off at Alli's on your way? She's probably going to want to talk."

"Sure," Eli agreed.

Both of them were worried about their friends, so they quickly pulled on their shoes and prepared to leave. Clare grabbed a pair of pajamas and a change of clothes from her drawer and put them in her shoulder bag, knowing that Alli would probably want her to stay over. Seconds later, the two of them were out the door and driving down the road.

()()

Eli dropped off Clare at the Bhandari household before driving straight to Adam's. If he had to be honest, he was not sure what to expect. His voice was not itself on the phone, but that could mean anything. He could be mad, he could be sad, or he fine. For all Eli knew, Adam could have been the one to call it quits in the first place. All he hoped for now was that it was not something ridiculous that caused them to end their relationship.

Minutes later, Eli arrived at his friend's house; he went straight to the glass door and saw Adam sitting on the couch, looking rather depressed. Not even bothering to knock, he opened the door and stepped right inside.

"Hey," Eli greeted.

"Hey," Adam replied.

"How you holding up?" he asked, sitting next to him on the couch.

"Well, it feels like someone stuck a knife into my heart, twisted it until they could pull it out of my chest, and then left me for dead."

"That sucks, bro," Eli said sympathetically. "What happened? You guys seemed to be doing so well."

"That's what I thought," Adam said. "But . . . I guess not."

"What are talking about?"

Adam took a breath and looked at Eli. He had so much pain and heartbreak harboring inside him that it was a comfort to have his friend there with him.

"After you and Clare left things started going downhill . . ."

_"What's wrong, Alli?" he asked her at the food court._

_Alli rolled her lips and shrugged his arm off her shoulders before turning in her seat to face him._

_"Adam . . . how far away is Trent University?" she asked him directly, hoping to delay this for as long as possible or for him to catch on so she would not have to hurt him._

_"Um . . . two hours," he answered. "But that's not too bad, right?"_

_Alli did not answer at first; instead, she looked down at the table and tried to figure out a way to put her next words gently._

_"Adam . . . I-I think we both know what needs to happen here."_

_Adam did have an idea as to what she expected to happen, but he was not going down without a fight . . . if he was going down at all._

_"You don't think we should stay together if I'm going away?" he guessed._

_"We _can't_!" she emphasized. "Neither of us is ready for that."_

_"Because I'm the first relationship you had since Drew?"_

_"Because we haven't been together that long," she clarified._

_"Eli and Clare are going to have a long-distance relationship," he reminded her._

_"They've been together for a year and a half, they're in love, and they're going to get married someday; we haven't been together that long and doing anything like that is crazy."_

_"Why?" he asked. "We care about each other so –."_

_"Adam, we don't love each other!" she exclaimed._

_He sat there, his mouth agape. At those words, he felt his stomach hit the floor and his heart shatter. He was not quite sure when he started getting intense feelings for Alli, but he knew they were there and her opposition towards them made him numb to any emotion but pain._

_"Alli . . ."_

_Alli then saw Adam's expression, his broken eyes, and the pain in his voice. Like a speeding train, the realization came over her._

_"Oh . . ." she said. She was aware that what she had just voiced had hurt Adam, thus she felt really guilty knowing that she was about to hurt him even more. Tears began stinging her eyes, her heart already beginning to break. "Look, Adam . . . this is the first time both of us have been in a relationship for a long time and . . . we shouldn't be rushing it like that."_

_"Rushing?" he echoed._

_"Yeah," Alli said. "I mean . . . we've only been dating for a month and . . . that's not enough for me to know if I'm ready to be a part of something so intense."_

_"What are you saying, Alli?" he asked. "Are you saying that I should stay here?"_

_"No," Alli answered. Tears then came out of her eyes and, as they poured down her cheeks, they both knew what was coming. "I'm saying that . . . that we should see other people."_

_The broken chunks of Adam's heart shattered into dust. He knew what she was implying, but he would not accept it until he heard her say it._

_"So . . . we're breaking up?"_

_Alli turned her eyes down before nodding. Now that it was confirmed, Adam felt his stomach disappear along with his heart and all feeling inside him. It was as though he was a walking corpse because he was so cold and dead inside._

_"Adam, it's not –."_

_"I get it," he interrupted her, not wanting hear anything from her._

_"I hope we can still be –."_

_"I'll see you around," he said before rising from his seat and walking away from the food court._

". . . So now you're looking at a single Adam Torres once again," he concluded. "I spent the last few hours driving around trying to clear my head, but it didn't work."

"I'm sorry, Adam," Eli said sympathetically.

Growling at himself, Adam rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his head between his hands.

"I . . . am . . .so _stupid_ for thinking that we could have worked."

"What are you talking about?"

"We knew that I would be going to university soon," he explained. "We were barely friends when we started, my parents don't exactly like her, and . . . it just did not make any sense. What was I thinking, getting involved with her?"

"You liked her and she liked you; you guys gave it a try and it just wasn't what you guys wanted. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Yeah, and all we got to show for it is some stupid summer romance," he mentioned before releasing his head and slumping back against the couch. "She was right; we rushed into this."

"You guys were just eager to be in a relationship again," Eli corrected. "Things were bound to get crazy."

"We only dated for a month. Why am I this upset about this?"

"You really liked her, so it's going to hurt."

"I just don't get it," Adam said. "We were doing so well, we were both happy, but now . . ."

"It's just one of those things," he stated. "It happens."

"Eli . . . I think I love her."

"You _think_?"

Adam rubbed his eyes, frustrated at how complicated this was. Seeing his aggravation, Eli decided to do more encouraging.

"Adam, this may suck, but think about this; you were in an emotional slump when you and Fiona broke up, but you got back on that horse and you were happy."

"And I got dumped," he reminded Eli.

"It's not the end of the world," Eli eased him.

"You wouldn't be saying that if this was you and Clare."

"Just listen," Eli pressed on, not wanting to admit that Adam was right. "There's no law that says you have to stop dating just because of a couple failed relationships."

"But I think I –."

"Love her?" he finished and Adam nodded. "Unless you know you love her, you can't ask her to be in a long-distance relationship; that's not fair on either of you."

Adam knew Eli was right; honestly, he knew that he was not in love with Alli and that a long-distance relationship would not be a good idea. He just hoped that someone out there would love him and that they could be happy together, like how his two best friends were.

"I guess I got my hopes up way to high."

"We all do sometimes."

"I don't know how I'm going to get over this in two days," he said, not wanting to go to college in a depressed mood.

"Well, your classes don't start until a week after you're there and you'll be settling in; that will keep your mind off things."

"I guess," Adam shrugged, knowing that university would probably distract him.

"And look on the bright side," Eli continued to encourage. "Trent will be a clean slate for you; you can find someone else when you're ready."

"Hopefully I won't mess it up next time," Adam added on.

"Well, if you do find a girl that you like and she breaks up with you, she's just not worthy of the amazing Adam Torres."

Adam smiled, Eli's words making him feel a little better in terms of his self-esteem. The heartbreak, however, was still there.

"I wish there's a cure for heartache, you know?"

"There is," Eli said. "It's called time."

"Is there one that works faster?"

"Well, I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure listening to music, eating junk food, and hanging out with your brother from another mother may help."

"Are you some sort of relationship doctor?" he asked with a chuckle as he sat up some more on the couch.

"I just have a lot of experience," he shrugged.

Adam smiled, happy that his best friend did not mind coming over to put up with his moping.

"Thanks for coming over, man."

"No problem," he assured, giving his friend and thump on the back.

* * *

"_Yesterday we were laughing_

_Today I'm left here asking _

_Where has all the time gone now?_

_I'm left alone somehow"_

_~"Say Goodbye" by Skillet_

* * *

The vial of blood is NOW on my twitter (sorry, forgot about it).

Quick note: if you guys remember (which I doubt you will since it was forever ago), I mentioned how I thought Degrassi school year started in August because I'm an idiot that way and forgot that it isn't true; I've been planning the university days for a while and each of them start in August and if I change it to September, millions of things are going have to be rearranged and I don't have the time to fix all of it since I'm already in the swing of things. So, long story short, can we please pretend that the school years start in August instead of September? That should not be a big deal, but if you have a problem with it, please leave or don't review. Sorry guys, I just don't want giving me crap over things like they have in the past.

So, I may update again this week! Review please!


	104. Breakaway

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you guys for the reviews, subscriptions, favorites, everything! We are now over 1,200 reviews! AHHHH! I really appreciated all the support you've given me! Seriously, it means the world to me and makes my sad days better. Special shout out to thegoodgirldoll for being an AMAZING reviewer and reader! Thank you so much and welcome aboard this crazy ride!

I'd also like to say thanks to all those who gave me the support about that one review; those kind words you guys said to me really made me smile. Because of all you guys who give me feedback, love, and support with every chapter, that one comment means less than nothing to me. Thank you!

Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. I own plenty of nothing.

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Chapter One Hundred Four

Breakaway

Eli spent the night at Adam's for moral support, but he quickly figured out a way to boost Adam's spirits. Since he was leaving for Trent University that Friday, Eli decided that it would be a great idea for him, Adam, and Clare could hang out and enjoy the day together. Since Adam would be spending Thursday with his family, Wednesday would be the only day he would be able to spend quality time with his two best friends, so he agreed immediately; plus, being with Eli and Clare always made him feel better when he was down.

The following day, Clare met them at the mall and gave Adam a big hug when she first saw him, believing that he was still very upset about his and Alli's breakup.

"Hi, Adam," she said as she hugged him.

"Uh . . . hi, Clare," he replied as he reciprocated the hug, flabbergasted as to why she was giving him such an endearing embrace.

"How you feeling?" she asked, pulling away from him.

"Fine," he shrugged, knowing that she was thinking about the breakup.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"How you holding up?" she then inquired as they walked into the mall.

"Clare, I'm good. Alli and I broke up and it sucks, but life goes on; it's not the end of the world."

"Really?" she said.

"Really," Adam reassured. "I'm completely fine with it."

"That's good, because I spent the night at Alli's yesterday and –."

"Really? Is she okay? Does she want to get back together? What did she say?" he interrogated hurriedly

"Yeah, you're completely fine with it," Eli commented.

"I am," Adam protested. "I'm just curious. Come on, Clare, _please_ tell me something."

Eli rolled his eyes, annoyed that Adam was still thinking about the girl who had broken his heart.

"W-Well, she is pretty upset about the breakup too," Clare began hesitantly.

"Oh really?" Eli said, holding back the sarcasm in his voice.

"Yeah," she said, not wanting to give away much about Alli's feelings without her consent. "She . . . she wishes things could have ended differently."

"Differently?" Adam repeated. "As in get back together?"

"No," Clare clarified quickly, but wishing she did not when she saw Adam's crestfallen expression. "She wishes that you two could have ended better."

"Oh," he said, all his hope about getting Alli back fading rapidly.

"I'm sorry, Adam," Clare said sympathetically.

"It's not your fault."

"And she told me she still wants to be friends."

"Ha," he barked. "'Friends' just means two people who have a history they want to forget."

"Not all the time," she eased him.

Eli, sick and tired of all this talk about Alli and her intentions, decided to bring the conversation to a halt.

"Look, this is not a day about heartbreak; this is a day of awesomeness and dammit it's going to be awesome!" he declared.

"Yay!" Adam agreed, desperately wanting to get his mind off Alli.

They began their day by going to all of Adam's favorite stores in the mall. Afterwards, they went to the arcade, walked around town, and they eventually came back to Adam's house to watch movies and play some videogames; the boys were determined to get Clare somewhat addicted to the Xbox, but it did not go so well. Overall, Adam had a really good day with them; Eli and Clare even stopped acting like boyfriend and girlfriend so they would not make him feel like a third wheel. His mind did wander back to Alli at times, but his friends always brought him back to the fun in front of them and he was distracted for a period of time.

They were now in the Torres's kitchen making homemade pizzas. Adam's parents and Drew – who had come home for the summer – went out so the others could have the house to themselves. Since there was no people around to tell them what to do, they turned on the music and they were making pizzas as the vibration of Dead Hand played in the background.

"Do you guys listen to any other music?" Clare asked jokingly as they rolled out their pizza dough; she stood in the middle while Eli stood on her right and Adam on her left.

"Of course we do," Adam said. "They're just one of the best."

"If you say so," Clare accepted.

"Hey, Clare, you have a little something right . . . there," Eli said before tapping his flour covered index finger on her nose. She crossed her eyes enough to notice the white substance that rested on her nose. She heard Adam chuckling and turned to him.

"You look like Rudolph with a white nose," he observed through his laughter.

Smiling mischievously, Clare picked up a sprinkling of flour before releasing it on Adam's nose. He stopped laughing instantly and choked on the small particles that entered his mouth.

"Not so funny when it happens to you, is it?"

"Okay," Adam accepted, grabbing a small amount. "But I think Eli's feel a little left out."

"Oh no, I'm perfectly fine," Eli said, holding up his hands and backing away.

"No, Adam's right," Clare said, getting another scoop of flour in her hand as she and Adam stepped towards Eli. "Why should we leave you out of the fun?"

"Don't even think about it!" Eli warned as he backed up against the counter, knowing what they were about to do.

"Fine," Adam concurred. "We won't think about it."

"We'll do it," Clare finalized.

Seconds later, Adam was flinging flour in Eli's face while Clare sprinkled it in his hair. Once they had used all the flour in their current possession, they stood back and started chuckling at Eli's misfortune. The top of his head was white and his face was covered in the powder, causing him to look slightly ancient.

"Okay, we're even," Eli declared.

Everyone chuckled at how ridiculous their appearances were and decided to get as much of the flour off them as possible. Once they cleaned the flour off their skin and Eli shook as much as he could out of his hair, they got back to making the pizzas. They had rolled the dough out as best they could and they decided use their hands and do some pizza throwing. Eli tossed his in the air; it went a little high, but he always it swiftly when it came back down before repeating the process.

"Showoff," Clare scoffed kiddingly as her dough only went up a half an inch, not wanting to risk dropping it.

"I can't help it if I have amazing skills in the kitchen," he said cockily.

Adam rolled his eyes before tossing his higher than Eli's.

"Amateur," he declared of Eli.

"Oh yeah?" he retorted.

The boys then started seeing who could throw theirs higher and both of them started getting very competitive. Whenever Eli's went high, Adam made sure his went higher. They were going higher and higher until the practically brushed the ceiling. Once they saw that they could not go any farther, they tried to see whose would spin in the air longer.

"Beat that, Goldsworthy," Adam dared as he caught his pizza again after it at dusted the ceiling. Determined to let his stay up longer and spin more, Eli tossed it as high as he could, it spun against the ceiling for a couple of seconds and then . . .

_Splat!_

The dough came down, but Eli missed and it hit the floor. All three of them gazed down at the mess of uncooked pastry that rested near their feet. Not being able to hold it in, Clare started laughing as Eli and Adam gawked at the deformed circle that lied on the floor.

"Way to go, Darth Vader," Adam congratulated sarcastically. "You killed it."

"I guess I'm a little rusty."

"A little rusty? _A little rusty_?" Adam echoed. "You pulverized it! That pizza had hopes and dreams and you just let it fall to the ground! You're a pizza murderer!"

Clare was still laughing hysterically at the situation and at Adam's outburst.

"I'm glad you find this amusing, Edwards," Eli said as he and Adam started picking up the remains of the dough.

"I-I'm sorry," she gasped out through her laughter. "It's just . . . that was great!"

"Yeah, and now I'll be deprived of pizza."

"Don't worry, I'll share some of mine with you," Clare eased him. The boys threw away the unusable dough, Adam poking fun at Eli the whole time. Clare snickered at them whenever Eli had a witty comeback or whenever Adam mentioned not being the one who dropped pizza dough. Once they had their fun, they got back to making their dinner, Eli watching from the sidelines. Adam and Clare were putting tomato sauce on their pizzas when there was a knock at the door.

"I got it," Eli volunteered.

He walked away from the kitchen and to the front door. Wondering who would be visiting the Torres house at this hour, he opened it.

"Alli," he said, quite surprised and a bit frustrated to see her here. He was always fond of Alli, being his girlfriend's best friend and all, but not even that reason for bias could make him hold back his ill feelings towards her. He understood why she broke up with Adam, but she still broke the heart of his best friend, and that did not sit well with him.

"Hey, Eli," she greeted. "Um . . . is Adam around?"

"Maybe," he said, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. "What's it to ya?"

"I want to talk to him."

"Like how you talked to him yesterday?"

Alli bit her lips and looked at her feet in guilt; she expected Adam to tell Eli what happened since she told Clare, but she did not expect him to be harsh to her.

"I just want to clear the air with him," she explained, meeting his eye.

"Well, as jolly as that sounds," he sneered sarcastically, "I think he actually wants to _enjoy_ one of his last nights in Toronto, not have it be filled with drama."

She did not appreciate Eli speaking to her this way since he was not there when she broke up with Adam. It was also hurtful that he was speaking to her like this when they were not exactly close.

"Eli, I want to sort everything out with him."

"What's there to sort out? You broke his heart after practically leading him on all summer."

"I was not leading him on; I just –."

"You have some nerve showing up here after what you did to him."

Shaking her head in animosity towards Eli, Alli shoved passed him and went straight into the house. She directed herself to the kitchen, wringing her hands together nervously; she saw Adam and Clare by the fridge as they gathered toppings for their pizza. Every time Adam saw an ingredient, he passed it over to Clare and she'd put it on island where they were preparing their food.

"Alright, here's mozzarella, pepperoni, peppers, mushrooms, pineapple, cashews –."

"Cashews on a pizza?" Clare inquired, not seeing how that could be enjoyable.

"You'll be surprised how good it is," Adam assured her.

Deciding that she would give it a try, Clare shrugged her shoulders and put the small bag on the table before looking up to see her other best friend standing there.

"Hi," Clare accosted, a bit surprised that she would be here.

"Hi," she responded.

Recognizing that voice, Adam swallowed the lump in his throat and turned around. This is the first time he had seen her since their talk in the mall and the sight of her made him feel hollow yet full of agony at the same time.

"Alli," he said, amazed to see her.

"Hey, Adam," she greeted with some embarrassment and shyness.

Before a single word could be uttered, Eli came into the kitchen, still fuming about the fact that Alli was here.

"Sorry," he said. "I tried to –."

"Don't worry about it," Adam answered distantly. He was too focused on the fact that Alli was in his kitchen to worry about the fact that she had to get passed Eli to talk to him. "What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk?"

"Um . . ." he began before looking at Eli and Clare.

If there was one person who did not have a problem with Alli right now, it was Clare; Eli, on the other hand, was disgusted by the sight of her. As Adam looked at them, he could tell that they would both have differing opinions as to whether or not he should have this conversation with her and he was hoping to make up his mind before one of them threw the first punch. His anxiety was soon replaced by relief when Clare spoke in a calm tone.

"We'll be outside," she said before walking towards Eli and grabbing his arm. Eli begrudgingly went along with her, but did not hesitate to shoot Alli an icy stare on the way out. Clare held on to his arm until they were outside the Torres's home, standing on the opposite side of the glass door. Wanting to give them some privacy, they walked to the side of the house so they could not see anything that was going on inside.

"What do you think they're gonna talk about?" Eli asked, pacing with his arms crossed as he stared down at the grass.

"I have no idea. Maybe they're talking about their breakup."

"I don't know what they have to talk about," he said. "She doesn't feel as much for him as he does for her, he's going away, they break up, the end."

"They might have unresolved feelings," Clare suggested.

Eli did not respond and simply kept pacing. All he could think about was how this girl hurt Adam and made his last couple of days at home miserable.

"Do you think they're going to get back together?" Clare asked him after a couple of minutes of silence.

"I hope not," he blurted out before he could think about it.

"What?" she said, not expecting that answer from Eli.

"I don't think they should get back together," he answered, facing Clare.

"A few days ago you were happy for them; it's because of you that they were together in the first place."

"Thanks for reminding me," he said with acrimony; maybe if he had enough sense to stay out of Adam's love life from the beginning, he would not be feeling heartbreak now.

"What is your problem, Eli?" Clare demanded, not understanding why he was being so bitter all of the sudden.

"Your friend Alli is my problem!" he suddenly snapped.

"Oh, so it's just _my friend_ Alli?" she spat, crossing her arms. "Last time I checked, she was your friend too."

"Don't twist my words around!"

"Fine! I just don't see why you have this deal with her!"  
"Uh, in case you haven't noticed, she broke my best friend's heart!"

"She had a good reason to!" Clare said, defending Alli.

"She could have let him down easy instead of hurting him like she did!"

"No matter how she did it, Adam would have gotten hurt! She did it the best way possible!"

"She still could have let him down a bit easier!"

"How else could she have done that, hu?" she demanded. "What could she have done better?"

"For one, she could have done it a bit earlier so he would not have his last days at home ruined."

"Did you ever think that maybe she wanted the two of them to be as happy for as long as possible?"

"She knew that he was going to university! If she didn't want a long-distance relationship with him, she shouldn't have gotten his hopes up!" Eli mentioned, dodging Clare's question. "And then she bursts out saying that they didn't love each other."

"Eli, they didn't love each other!"

"Adam loved her!"

"And did he tell her that?"

"I don't know!"

"No, he didn't!" Clare informed him, recalling that Alli told her the night before that they never said the word "love" to each other. "Maybe if he said that –."

"So this is all Adam's fault!"

"I'm not saying that!"

"Then where's Alli's blame?"

"There's no blaming! It was a breakup that happened between _them_. Not us; not you, me, and them! _Only _them!"

"Still, you can't put all of this on Adam!"

"You're putting it all on Alli!"

Eli was at a loss for words, not wanting to admit that Clare made a correct statement. Not desiring to continue their brawl, Clare sat down on the grass and leaned against the house. She knew that Alli could have broken up with Adam at a better time, but she also knew how difficult it was for her to think all those thoughts. She thought Eli would understand that since the two of them have had their share of hardships.

What she was unaware of was that Eli did understand. He understood that Alli and Adam could have taken better steps in their relationship and he understood that Alli must have hurt as much as Adam. He stood there, their entire conversation revolving in his head; he knew that it was wrong to put all the blame on Alli when both of them could have acted differently. He just had a personal bias towards Adam since he was his best friend. Concluding that it was not their place to be getting into a fight because of this, he saw that he had to make this right with Clare.

"I'm sorry," Eli said as he sat next to her. "I just hate seeing Adam upset."

"So do I," Clare said, looking at the grass and not meeting his eyes. "I hate seeing Alli upset too."

They were silent for half a minute when Eli broke the raging silence.

"How bad was she after they broke up?"

"She was crying her eyes out," Clare described. "She wished that she did not have to hurt him like she did, but she knew that there was more out there for him. He's starting college and . . . she wants him to experience that and she doesn't want to hold him down when they had only been dating for a month."

"So you don't think they should have taken the chance?" he asked, curious as to what she would say.

"If they dated longer and were in love, yes; but they started off rough and they have not been together long enough to take that on," she explained.

Eli nodded in understanding.

"Maybe getting them together was not such a great idea."

"It was," she assured, looking at him. "They were happy together for a while; just because they broke up doesn't mean it was a mistake."

He knew Clare was right, but he also did not like seeing anyone hurt or heartbroken like how Adam was at this time yesterday. All he could think was that if it was not for him, the two of them would not have become a couple and they would not have gone through this breakup. Sensing his guilt, Clare scooted closer to him and held his arm.

"It's not your fault," she comforted. "These things happen."

"I know," he said.

They sat in silence, Clare holding on to his arm as he stared at the ground. After sitting in silence for what must have been half an hour, the glass door slid open and they saw their friends come outside. Eli and Clare stood up, inquisitive as to what had occurred in the house.

"Are you guys okay?" Clare asked.

"Yeah," Alli answered.

"Are you guys . . . back together?" she then asked apprehensively.

"No," Adam said. "But we're good."

"That's good," Eli said, pleased that they did not have a disagreement or hard feelings towards each other. The quartet stood in an awkward silence before Alli cleared her throat and spoke to them.

"I should get going."

Before she could take a step, Eli stepped in front of her and looked her in the eye; now that he had talked to Clare and saw her point of view, he felt horrible for saying what he said when she arrived at the house.

"Sorry, you know, about what I said and the . . ." Eli attempted to apologize.

"It's cool," Alli accepted.

Making it official, Eli held out his hand; Alli took it and they did a handshake, putting the past behind them.

"Well," she began once she and Eli were done, "I'll see you guys later."

"Bye," they all said to her as she walked off the property. Once she was out of sight and earshot, Clare turned to her boyfriend.

"What did you say to her?"

"Nothing that has not been resolved," Eli discarded, not wanting to reopen a wound.

The trio went into the house and closed the door before Eli or Clare took the step in asking Adam what had happened and if any more feelings were hurt.

"Are you okay, man?" Eli asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he nodded as they walked back to the kitchen.

"What happened?" Clare asked.

"We agreed that we would stay friends," Adam said, sprinkling cheese on his pizza.

"That's great," she smiled, pleased that they would try to maintain some sort of relationship between them.

"Yeah, she's going to call, text, and whatnot when I'm at Trent."

"Are things . . . weird between you two?" he asked.

"Not completely," Adam shrugged. "We just needed a heart-to-heart and we agreed that our breakup was for the best."

Eli and Clare looked at each other, both equally relieved that their friends had talked and were now on good terms.

"Is she going to go see you before you leave?" Eli asked.

"No," Adam answered. "She thinks that maybe not seeing each other for a while might help, so we just said our goodbyes today and are just going to keep in touch."

"That sucks," he commented.

"Yeah, it kinda does," Adam nodded.

Even though it was a bit disappointing that he would not be seeing Alli for some time, Adam also felt a bit relieved that she would not be there. Seeing her today brought back many painful feelings that he did not wish to feel and he did not want to re-experience them right before he drove all the way to university. He was pleased that they were talking again and would still be friends, but he hoped that these negative feelings would fade away.

"Well, worse things have happened," he said, wanting to make this night with his best friends as memorable as possible. "Come on, let's get these bad boys rolling."

()()

"Today's the day, bud," Eli said as he and Clare began heaving boxes into the back of Adam's car early on Friday morning. "Ready?"

"I guess," he shrugged as he put a box in as well.

"You'll be fine," Clare reassured him. "Trent's lucky to have the amazing Adam Torres roaming its corridors."

"Me and my swag," Adam proclaimed with a smile.

Being the overprotective parents they were, Adam's mother and father were going to Trent with him to be sure he got his private room and that he got settled in. Them and Drew left minutes before, giving the trio a couple more minutes to say their goodbyes to each other. Originally, Clare and Eli were going to go with Adam and see him off and get a ride home with Adam's family. Han Solo, unfortunately, was not the biggest car and it did not have much cargo space in the trunk, so they had to put some crates and boxes in the backseats, forcing one of them to remain behind. Clare volunteered to stay; she knew how close Eli and Adam were, so it made more sense for him to go instead of her. Plus, she was certain that she would not stop crying if she was there with them as he settled in.

"I think that's everything," Adam declared as they loaded the final box.

"Not quite," Eli said before walking to Morty. He came back seconds later with a square object wrapped poorly with newspaper. "A little going away gift from your favorite lovebirds."

Adam smiled and accepted the present and began unwrapping it. He could not hold back his grin when he stared down at a picture of all three of them at prom; Clare was in the middle and her arms were around both of Eli and Adam's shoulders as Alli took the picture. All of them were smiling – even Eli – because the night was so memorable and enjoyable. Continuing to grin, Adam looked back up at them.

"I love you guys."

"We love you too," Clare said, pleased that Adam liked his gift.

"Okay, I don't say this often, but . . . group hug?" Eli recommended.

Although surprised that Eli made this suggestion, the trio huddled together into one sentimental hug. They all found it hard to accept that this would be the last moment the three of them would have together until . . . they did not even know when. Their schedules would be different and hectic and it would be next to impossible to coincide their free time. For all they knew, the three of them would probably not hang out as a group until Thanksgiving, maybe even Christmas break. All they knew was what that this was their last few minutes together and it was a painful thought to digest.

It began affecting Clare, considering she would be saying goodbye to Adam today and Eli by this time next week. She had been through so many goodbyes with Darcy leaving and her parents getting divorced that they had become more and more difficult to handle as time went on. These thoughts falling on her like a ton of bricks, she felt tears sting her eyes and they soon went down her cheeks. Hearing her sobs and whimpers, the group hug ended and the boys noticed how Clare was crying.

"S-Sorry," she said, wiping her tears away.

"Oh, Clare," Adam sighed, shaking his head. "You know I don't mind tears."

"I can't believe you're leaving," she sobbed, trying to not cry so hard.

"It'll be okay," he eased her.

"It's not going to be the same with you gone."

"Hey," he began, trying to boost her spirits. "We'll do group chats and stuff. And we'll meet up whenever we can."

"I know," Clare said, trying not to tear up again. "I just . . . I'm going to miss you."

She then wrapped her arms around Adam and they hugged each other. As they embraced, her tears returned and Adam let a couple out as well.

"It's okay, Clare," he comforted her. "I'll come back soon."

"You better," she teased him.

Eli stood to the side and tried not to get emotional about the scene in front of him; Adam and Clare were like brother and sister, so seeing them part like this was a bit heartbreaking for him to witness, especially when Adam started to cry.

"Love you, sis," Adam said, pleased that he would always have one female outside the family he could count on.

"Love you too," she smiled, tears coming back to her eyes. They pulled away from the hug and Clare cleared her eyes again wishing that she would stop crying. "Call me, okay?"

"I will," he agreed as he pulled out his keys. "And text me whenever you need a different guy to talk to."

"Oh, I will," she promised.

They exchanged a final hug before separating, tears in each of their eyes. Knowing that they would burst out into tears if they said goodbye again, they figured that it would be best to move on. Adam moved towards the car and Eli walked to Clare.

"I'll see you in a few hours," he said before giving her a peck on the lips. "Love you."

"Love you too."

Without another word, the boys moved over to the car, prepared to leave Toronto.

"Be careful," Clare called to them.

"Yes, Mom," Adam replied.

Clare smiled as the two boys climbed into the Nissan. As Adam sat in the driver's seat and Eli in the passenger's, the reality suddenly smacked her in the face; Adam was leaving for university. It would not be long until he was two hours away, in a dorm, making new friends, and would be living in the real world. It was an unsettling feeling that the same boy who snuck out to a Dead Hand concert was now leaving for university. Within a few years, he would be in the workforce and would be serving as best man at her wedding. It was astonishing on how fast the time went and how fast it was bound to go.

The boys waved at her through the windshield and she waved back, a smile on her face despite the tears on her cheeks and thoughts in her mind. She heard the car roar and it was soon started going down the road, eventually disappearing. Clare watched the car go, crying silently and waving as it drove out of sight.

()()

Hours later, Clare sat on her front step, staring at the cloudless sky. Since the boys left, she had been occupying her time by writing and texting Eli and Adam; they had texted her pictures of the campus, of Adam's dorm room, and the two of them being bored on their car ride to Trent. Adam had a decent size room and, judging by the pictures, he was really excited to be there. At one point, however, they had sent of picture of the two of them puppy pouting; the text that came with it was _Goodbye Adam_. Despite the humor that came with their faces, the concept of goodbye was really hard to take in. It was sad to know that one of her best friends was so far away; it would be strange not spending the day with Adam before going to work, or going to school with him, or listening to his jests towards her and Eli.

As she reflected on this circumstance, she began to be enlightened by the realness of this situation. Adam was gone and Eli would soon be leaving. It was in this moment that she realized how difficult it would be to see Eli leave. Adam was her best friend and it make sense for her to be upset, but she was in _love_ with Eli, so seeing him leave to go so far away was going to be torturous.

She would not tell him this, for she knew that he would probably remind her that he was willing to stay behind and go to Toronto University. She was also aware that she probably would not need to tell him; her emotions would probably show on the day he would make his departure.

Clare was waiting outside her house when she saw Morty. Seconds later, Eli climbed out and Clare stood up and walked towards him.

"Is he settling in okay?" she asked as he met her halfway.

"Yeah," he answered. "He's a bit bummed about not having a roommate, but, other than that, he's not doing too badly."

"Does he like the school?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "He's unpacking and making new friends as we speak."

Clare nodded before coiling her hands with Eli's.

"One week from now, you'll be unpacking and making new friends in Ottawa."

"That means I only have one week left with you."

"Don't remind me," she said. It was not the distance that concerned Clare the most; it was how much she was going to miss him when he was gone and painful it was going to be to say goodbye to him.

Ten minutes later, they were lying on her couch, a blanket draped over their bodies. Eli rested his head against the arm, using a pillow to support his head; Clare rested her own head on his chest as they watched the second _Pirates_ _of_ _the_ _Caribbean_ movie. His arms were around her and she rested her hands over his. As they watched the movie, he began thinking of Adam and how so much would be different without him around. Clare was his very best friend, but there were some parts of his life he felt more comfortable talking to Adam about. He was the brother he never had, so he felt really alone now that he was so far away.

But he knew that he was not alone; Clare was here with him. She may not be a guy so they may not have the conversations or interests he and Adam had, but he still loved spending time with her. As he held her, it dawned on him that they did not have much time left together, therefore he had to make every last second count. Eli gently put his lips to the top of Clare's head. Feeling his kiss, she turned her head to face him.

"Miss him already, don't you?" she guessed, noticing the sadness in her boyfriend's verdant orbs.

He nodded and Clare gently squeezed his hand.

"You'll see him soon; and you can call and Skype him and everything."

"Yeah, but it's not going to be the same; I mean, Adam's been my best friend for nearly two years and now he's suddenly not there. It's just going to be weird going to school without him."

"I know," Clare said, before bringing his hand to her lips and kissing it lightly. "But it'll be okay."

Eli was silent, unsure if her statement was correct. As they continued watching the movie, many thoughts came swimming into his mind. His best friend was gone and they were going to be separated for hundreds of miles once he settled in Ottawa. He believed that he and Adam had a strong friendship, but was it strong enough? Would they still keep in touch? What if they did not consider themselves brothers by the time their years in university were over?

"Clare," he then spoke, knowing she could be able to help him in this situation.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"What do you think the odds are of me still being with you _and_ still being best friends with Adam after I graduate from Ottawa?"

Eli's voice was coated in worry and mild misery. She had heard him use this tone on many occasions whenever it came to their relationship or Julia, but this was one of the first times she heard him use it in regards to losing a friendship. Concerned, she turned her head up to meet his eyes; all happiness that could have existed in them moments before was covered by uncertainty.

"Are you worried that you and Adam are going to grow apart?"

"Yeah," he admitted softly. "It's just that . . . people stop contacting you after high school and I don't want that to happen with Adam and me. I mean . . . I'm already going to have a long-distance relationship with you, so I'm not sure how good the chances are of having both of you when university is over."

It pained Clare to know that Eli thought he had a choice: her or Adam. It was not a decision to be made or a struggle to overcome; he was not going to lose either of them. All three of them had been through so much together and all of them had been through so much with each of them that they had this bond that could not be broken. Would it be tested? Definitely. Did they believe that if they all wanted it to they could still have their own little group of misfits by the time all of them were finished with university? Yes. Was it possible that they would have struggles to maintain their friendship? Yes; it was not logical to think otherwise.

Clare lied there in Eli's arms, wishing there was an easy way to tell him this. Deciding to get it done so they would not have to speak of it again, she began to talk to him.

"I'm not going anywhere, you know that; and Adam is one of my best friends and I'm not going to let him grow apart from me."

"So, basically, if Adam's stuck with you, he's stuck with both of us?" Eli summarized.

"Exactly," Clare nodded. "And it will be hard keeping in touch because this is college and everything, but we will still be best friends when this is all over."

"You think so?"

"Babe, have I ever steered you wrong?"

Eli reflected, trying to think of a time when Clare's words of wisdom had fell through; he skimmed his memory, but he could not recall a single instance.

"And _that_ is one of the many reasons why I love you."

Despite Clare's comfort, he still missed Adam and wished that he was here with him as they watched this movie and laughed with them.

"Did it suck this much after Alli left Degrassi?" he asked.

"Yeah," Clare nodded. "I was even worried that I would be replaced since we would rarely see each other for weeks on end."

Eli, although relieved that he was not the only one who had feelings like these, was still terrified that Adam and him would lose their friendship. Seeing how he was on the verge of distraught, Clare decided to try to lighten his mood.

"But we called, messaged, and we visited each other; even after not seeing each other for a while, we pick up where we left off and we didn't miss a beat. Even though there's been some difficulty because of that, I still consider to be like a sister to me."

"Do you think Adam and I will still be close after college if we do that as well?"

"As long as you and Adam keep in touch, everything will be alright," she assured. "And do you really think he's going to allow you two to grow apart after everything we put him through_ and_ you promising him to be best man at our wedding?"

Eli smiled at her, thankful that she brought up these points to make the negativity shrink.

"Good point, Edwards," he said. "Now I just have to get my mind off it for now."

"Want my help with that?" she offered, turning around in his arms with a grin on her face.

"Yes, please," he answered enthusiastically.

"And how should I help?"

"A kiss?" he proposed.

Grinning, Clare pecked his lips; his face formed a pout as she pulled away. Knowing what he really wanted, she put her lips to his again for a lingering kiss. The more he kissed her, the more Eli realized that he did not want to leave Clare. He wanted to stay with her for as long as possible and spend every moment he could with her. However, he remembered what happened last time he wanted to do something similar to this; she told him that she need time alone and that eventually led to her returning her promise ring for a short period of time. He did not want to risk that, yet he also wanted to stay with her; he just had to be aware if Clare was uncomfortable.

The kiss ended and they grinned at each other.

"Remember months ago when you said I can't be by your side every second of the day because you need breathing room?" he then asked her, wanting to address this.

"Yeah," Clare recalled. "Why?"

"Well, it's my last week here and I would like to spend as much time as possible with you, so . . . if I get too overbearing and clingy, I'm sorry. Just let me know and I'll back off."

Her heart swelled at his consideration, understanding why he would possibly cleave to her for the next week. If she had to be honest with herself, she wanted him to be with her every second possible until he had to leave. It could be a long time before they saw each other again, so every second Eli had left in Toronto would be a second Clare would want to be by his side.

"Elijah, this week you can spend all the time you want with me for as long as you want."

* * *

"_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly _

_Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye"_

_~"Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson_

* * *

The pizza thing was inspired by something my best friend GrippoMustaine1996 (check out her work; I'm going to keep saying it because she deserves it) and I did a few years ago . . . memories . . . except I put sour cream and onion chips on my pizza instead of cashews. Sorry, off topic.

Recommendation: "Shooting Stars and Midnight Kisses" by TonksLupinLiveOn1234.

If this fic somehow gets deleted from this site, I will post it on another site. I'll have the same name and everything, but I'll only post it there if this story gets deleted from FFN. If I don't update for a period of time, odds are it will be on the site. If something happens, PM or tweet me for the name of the site.

Review please?


	105. Wake Me Up When September Ends

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for the reviews and everything! Thank you SO much for it all! You guys are amazing! Here's the next chapter! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Duh!

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Five

Wake Me Up When September Ends

The days were ticking down until Eli left for the University of Ottawa. There were only two days left until he had to go and he still had so much to do until then. He resigned from his job at the Dot on this day, tomorrow would be his last day in Toronto, and then he'd be leaving on Friday morning. Peter was thoughtful enough to give Clare a couple of days off work so she could spend more time with Eli and she was grateful for it.

He still had a bit more to do before he was prepared to leave, but thankfully anything that involved paperwork, registration, or finances was already taken care of. All he had to do now was find the best route to take, make sure he had enough gas money, and pack. He had left his packing until the last second, which he found a bit idiotic now since he would have to spend one of his last days in Toronto putting most of his possessions into boxes. Thankfully, Clare volunteered to help him and the two of them had been hard at work all day.

It was now the late afternoon and, after packing nonstop for three hours, the two of them decided to take a quick break from the packing. They sat on the edge of his bed and dialed the number of a certain friend of theirs . . .

"Go for Adam," he greeted as Eli put his phone on speaker.

"Hey, bro," Eli replied.

"Hey, Eli," he said.

"Hi, Adam," Clare piped in.

"Hey, Clare," Adam responded. "What's going on with you crazy kids?"

"Packing up my room; we're just taking a break."

"So you _did _leave it until the last minute," he chuckled, finding it amusing that he did not heed his advice and was now rushing to pack everything.

"Very funny," Eli said sarcastically, not wanting to give Adam the satisfaction.

"So how's Trent?" Clare asked him in attempt to change the subject.

"Well, class doesn't start until Monday, so I'm basically just roaming the campus."

"Is that what you're doing now?" Eli asked.

"Yep," he said. "And there are _a lot_ of cuties here."

"Dude, you just got out a relationship," Eli reminded him. "Give it time."

"I'm just making an observation," he defended himself.

Clare laughed as Eli rolled his eyes with a smirk on his face.

"So what have you two been up to?" Adam asked.

"Oh, the usual," Eli said, coiling his arm around Clare's waist, wishing Adam could be here to see it. "Romantic nights together, walks around town, sleepovers at my house –."

"Okay, okay," Adam interrupted. "I get it; couple stuff."

"You asked," Clare accused him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said.

"Made any new friends yet?"

"A couple," he answered. "They actually remind me a lot of you two before you got together."

"So are you going to try setting them up?" Eli asked.

"Nope, I'm letting fate take care of it. Besides, I already have to watch over you two; the last thing I need is another couple to take care of."

"I'm not sure if we should be insulted by that or not."

"I mean that with all the love in the world," Adam assured them. "Sorry guys, but I got to go; I'm going to see if I can find a job on campus."

"Good luck," Clare wished him.

"Thanks. I'll talk to you guys later; have fun packing."

"Bye, Adam," the couple chorused, knowing that the only fun aspect of packing was that they were doing it together. They heard Adam laugh before saying his farewell and hanging up his phone.

"I miss him," Clare said.

"Me too," Eli reciprocated. "But we'll see him again soon."

Clare nodded, knowing that Eli was right. Deciding to resume packing, Clare stood up and walked towards one of the shelves on his wall that were dedicated to only type of object.

"Where should we pack all these pictures?" she asked, looking at all the ones he had printed off from his digital camera and put into frames. There were many of him and her, the two of them and Adam, him and Adam, and many of just her.

"In this box here," Eli indicated before handing her a small box with bubble wrap inside it.

She began concealing all the frames in the bubble wrap, pausing every now and then to look at them before packing them inside the box. She reflected on some of the memories these pictures gave her; there were the ones from the lake weeks ago, some from prom, and others from when they first started dating. Each of those pictures made Clare think back to all the precious memories she shared with Eli and how she knew that they were all just the beginning of the life they would have together.

Eli was removing a few clothes from his chest of drawers while Clare took care of the pictures. He decided to start at the top and worked his way down. He came to the second drawer once he was done with the first one and saw the clothes Clare had brought with her at the beginning of the summer. Pretty much all of them were in there, but he was not sure whether he should keep them here, give them back to Clare, or take them with him.

"Babe?" he said, hoping to get her input.

"Yeah?" she replied, looking up from a picture of the two of them from the spring formal last year.

"Do you want these clothes back?" he asked.

"Hmm . . . you might want to hold on to those," she said. "I'm coming to visit you up there, remember?"

"Too true," he nodded.

"Unless you want me to take them back," she continued with a teasing smile.

"In a word: no way."

"That's two words," she corrected him.

"But they mean one thing."

She rolled her eyes with a smile before she packed the final picture.

"That's all of them," she said, closing the flaps and securing them closed with tape.

"Thanks again for helping me, Clare," he told her, wishing they could have been doing something more enjoyable than packing. "I'm sorry I procrastinated."

"It's fine," Clare assured him, writing the word _pictures_ one of the sides of the box in black marker. "It's actually kinda fun looking at all this stuff and thinking of all the memories."

He smiled in accordance; he also had enjoyed thinking in retrospect to all the times he had spent with Clare, Adam, and his years at Degrassi. As they continued working, they exchanged a few words as well as memories; Clare was taking down a couple of his posters while he scanned the room for more important items he would like to take with him. He would be taking the necklace that contained Clare's vial of blood and the ring she had given him for his seventeenth birthday, but he was certain that there was more than that.

He turned to his dresser when a small, circular object caught his eye. It was the watch that Clare had given to him after her parents started getting the divorce. He smiled down at it, remembering how it was because of this item that she had discovered his hoarding and how he had learned to be open with her and how they each learned to trust each other; he found it astonishing by how much this watch had actually helped their relationship.

"Is that all the posters you want to take?" Clare asked him as she secured one of his posters with a rubber band.

"I think so," he said, his thoughts now straying away from the watch. They decided to take another breather and sit on the edge of his bed; Clare glanced around the room, impressed with the progress they have made.

"We're getting there," she stated.

Eli nodded before changing the subject.

"Here," he said, showing her the watch. "You should probably hold on to this."

Clare was not expecting him to be giving this back to her. She actually felt a bit crestfallen, knowing that he did not want it anymore. She told him to keep it forever once she found out about his hoarding and she thought of it as something symbolic; as long as he had the watch, she felt like he would always help her with her family issues since he was the one who helped her through the divorce. Now that he was giving it back to her, it gave her the idea that he did not want to be involved with her family anymore while he was away. She took the watch, disheartened as she looked at it as it rested in her hand.

"I thought –," she began.

"It belonged to your dad and taking it to a place surrounded by a bunch of drunk and crazy college kids may not be the best idea."

Ever since Clare gave Eli the watch, he was always determined to keep it in the best condition. It was important to her, so he was not going to risk it getting damaged. He did not want to leave it here in his room to collect dust for months at a time, so he knew it was best to give it back to Clare.

As she heard what he had to say, she felt relief and a smile came to her lips.

"So it's not because you don't want it?" she resolved, turning back to him.

"No, it's because I don't want it to be damaged," he promised.

Clare nodded in understanding as she looked at the watch; it looked exactly the same as it was over a year ago when Clare first gave it to him. He obviously took care of it.

"Alright then," she accepted with a grin. "Remember those headphones you gave me when we first became English partners?"

"Yeah," Eli said, recalling the day he gave them to her.

"Do you want those back?"

"Why do you ask?" he asked, unsure if she no longer wanted them in her possession or if she was merely being generous.

"I just think you might need them to block out the college parties going on, the girls who could be hitting on you, the frat boys, the aggravating phones calls from the girlfriend who calls every ten minutes . . ."

Eli smirked before wrapping his arm around her waist.

"I don't want to miss those calls."

"Well . . . what about the girls that hit on you?"

"I'll just tell them I'm getting married and tell them to leave me alone."

"And if they don't?" she asked, more paranoid about this subject because of their past history with Kate.

"Then I'll figure something out," he promised her before kissing her temple. "Don't worry; no one is ever going to come between us again, I promise."

Clare nodded, his words going straight to the heart of her fears. Once his promise was there, the worry was gone. She grinned, appeased that no girl would destroy his love for her and amazed that he could soothe her so easily.

"So you don't need the headphones?" she clarified.

"Alyson is about to become your stepmom; you'll need them more than I will."

She smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the lips in appreciation before they continued packing. They were almost done, much to their relief, and got the rest done without complaint. After yet another hour of putting object and object into boxes and crates, the two of them had finally completed the mission that had taken them six hours to complete.

They looked around the room. The walls were almost unadorned, the closet was empty, his desk was clear of most of his belongings, and nothing remained on his bookshelf. There were a few objects around his room, but he would not be taking most of them with him.

"I don't think my room's ever been this empty," he stated as they stood and glanced around the room.

"I'm sure it was at one point."

"Yeah, when dinosaurs ruled the Earth," he kidded, earning a chuckle from Clare. "Let's see, I have my clothes, your clothes and other items, posters, pictures, supplies, money, and everything else I'm going to pack the day I leave. I think that's pretty much everything for now; we just have to move all these boxes out of here," Eli said as sat on the end of the bed. He looked around the room and grinned, causing Clare to turn to him while she continued to stand.

"What?" she asked, unsure as to why he was smiling.

"Doing all this packing reminds me of last summer when we cleaned out my room," he informed her. "The two of us spent hour after hour in here."

"We made a lot of progress during those weeks," she reminded him.

"And I haven't been hoarding since."

She smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

"And I'm still proud of you for that."

He put his hands on her waist and grinned in appreciation.

"Thanks again for helping with it all."

Clare grinned at him again before cupping his face in her hands, kissing his lips, and sitting on his lap while wrapping her legs around his waist.

"I'm still going to be here for you," she promised as she pulled away. "Even if you are nearly three hundred miles away, I'm still going to be here whenever you need me."

He smiled at her warmly and happily before pecking her lips for a quick second.

"Want to spend a final night in the Hotel Eli?"

"I would love to," she smiled.

"Good, because tomorrow is closing night and you are our favorite occupant, so . . ."

She chuckled, combing her fingers through the tips of his dark hair at the back of his head.

"But it'll be open for business when the manager comes back to visit, right?"

"Definitely," he assured. "Just remember that you have your key whenever you feel like coming over."

"Okay," she nodded, still not sure if she would ever use it or not. Maybe if she needed some sort of reminder of Eli's presence she would stop by, but she could not think of a reason beyond that. However, she would never know when she would need it, so it was good to know that she had possession of a key.

"Since you're off work tomorrow, I'm going to try and spend every moment possible with you," he then informed her.

"But wouldn't your parents want to spend some time with you before you go?"

"Yeah, but they said that you're more than welcome to hang around with us."

"Really? They wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all; you know they love you as much as I do . . . just in a different way."

Clare grinned; his family had always been so welcoming to her since the beginning. They were her second family and she could not wait until she was actually related to them.

"Alright," she accepted. "I can't believe tomorrow's your last day here."

"I'll come back soon," he promised, caressing her sides. "You know I can't say away from you for too long."

"And I can't have you away from me for too long. If you are, I think I'll probably lose my mind."

"And we can't have that, can we?" he smirked before he put his lips to her neck. Clare didn't speak for a minute for she was too dazzled by the kisses Eli was blessing her with.

"You'll call me every chance you get, right?" she asked breathlessly.

"Try and stop me," he dared as he continued to fondle her skin with his lips.

"And . . ." She paused and gasped as he gave her neck a gentle nip. "And you'll text?"

"Ten times a day."

"And Skype?" she asked.

He removed his lips from her and looked into her eyes.

"Clare, I promise that I will get in touch with you whenever I can."

"Alright," she nodded. "Do you think there will still be times when we can talk on the phone until one in the morning?"

"I'd say it's an extreme possibility," he agreed. "We just have to be sure I'm not being piled down with homework when we do."

"And we both have to be off work," she added on, seeing that their time together could be scarce. Clare sat there and tried to think positive, but she was become slightly depressed as everything started to settle in. Eli saw her eyes and read her facial expressions before putting his forehead to hers.

"We'll find time to talk," he promised.

She kept her forehead against Eli's and wished that the two of them could have had more time together, more nights together, and more dates together. She wished that she could have done so much more with him, but now they had no choice but to wait.

"I'm going to miss our sleepovers."

"I'm going to miss our dates at the Dot."

"And going to our special place," she added.

"And driving you to and from school," he said.

"And talking to you face-to-face every day."

"And everything else we can think of," he concluded as she continued to comb her fingers through the ends of his hair.

"You know what I'm also going to miss?"

"What?"

"Our late-night make-out sessions," she admitted.

Eli's lip curled into a lopsided smile as he rested his hands on Clare's hips.

"We do enjoy those, don't we?"

"We do," she nodded.

She then pushed her lips to Eli's and began kissing him passionately. It was going to be a while until they had a heated moment like this again, so she was going to make all the ones they had between now and Friday morning count. She deepened the kiss and their tongues started to wrestle as they hummed and moaned against each other's mouths. It was blissful, harmonious, passionate, and perfect; all the emotions created by the kiss combined into one phenomenal moment and they were both equally determined to keep it locked in their hearts and minds for as long as they could. They did not care about anything now except the person they were kissing and the person they were kissing was beyond everything to them.

"Oh," an astounded voice said from the doorway.

The moment was interrupted and the two of them separated their lips in both disappointment and surprise. Eli and Clare both looked over her shoulder to see CeCe standing by the threshold. Clare tried not to keep composed, but she felt the blood coming to her face as she hurriedly climbed off Eli's lap and sat next to him on the bed.

"I'm sorry," CeCe said apologetically, not meaning to disturb the two teenagers. "Um . . . I just wanted to let you guys know that Bullfrog and I are heading out for a few minutes and that there's food downstairs if you get hungry and . . . well, we'll see you later. And behave," she added.

"Bye," Eli and Clare chorused.

Face still burning red, Clare turned back to Eli once CeCe was gone.

"Our moms have the worst timing in history, you know that?" Eli stated.

"Tell me about it," she agreed, wishing the color in her face would decrease. Eli kissed her red cheek before speaking.

"Want a take a break and get some food before we move these boxes out?" he asked.

"Sounds good to me," she agreed as she got off the bed.

"Clare," he said, taking a moment to observe her as she walked towards the door.

"Yeah?" she replied, turning around.

"I love you."

Clare grinned, walked back over to his bed, leaned down, and kissed his lips.

"I love you too, Eli; more than anyone."

She then took his hands and pulled him off the bed.

()()

They spent the rest of the afternoon taking the boxes and crates out of his room and moving them all downstairs. Within an hour, his room was clear of boxes and all he had to worry about was packing toiletries before he left and he would be ready. As soon as the couple was finished, it was nearly seven o'clock. They ate dinner with CeCe and Bullfrog, who kept reminding Clare that she was still welcome to their house any time and she could just come on over and let herself in since she had a key. Eli also brought to his parents' attention that Clare would be spending the day with them; naturally, they said that they would be more than happy for her to be with them. Clare smiled, once again feeling like a part of the Goldsworthy family.

After having dinner and watching a movie, Eli and Clare went back up to his bedroom. Although this was not Eli's last night in Toronto, Clare's mother said that she could not spend Thursday night at his house; she was under the impression that Clare was going to intrude on Eli's last few moments with his parents by spending his late night at his house and Clare actually agreed with that. Eli and his parents told her that she wouldn't be doing such a thing, but she insisted that he the three of them had time together as a family. After a bit of discussion, Eli complied and so this was going to be her last night staying at Eli's for some time.

Since all her clothes and other items were packed away, Eli was going to run her back to her house tomorrow so they could get washed and changed and then spend the day with his parents and then, that night, they would spend alone time together. Tonight, because she didn't have any pajamas since Eli had already packed them away, he gave her one of his shirts and sweatpants while he wore a shirt and boxers.

"Can you believe that this is our last summer sleepover?" he asked her as she came back into his room after changing in the bathroom.

"I know," she said in a melancholy tone. She was silent as she draped the clothes she wore today over Eli's desk chair. Noticing the change of sound in her voice and the lack of happiness in her movements, he walked behind her and took her in his arms from behind.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Clare nodded. "Just thinking."

"About . . .?" he inquired. She sighed before turning around locking her hands behind his neck.

"Us," she answered. "I mean, long-distance didn't seem too bad before, but now that everything is packed and knowing that you're not going to be here in a few days . . . it's starting to worry me a little."

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "It's just the idea of not seeing you every day; it's going to take a lot of getting used to and seeing you over Skype and everything won't be the same."

He understood exactly how she felt. Ever since she gave him the vial of her blood, he was no longer worried about them breaking up, but being so far away from her was going to be strange. Feeling her pain and apprehension, he pulled her closer until they were holding each other in a comforting embrace.

"I'm going to try to visit at least once a month and I promise that I'll spend as much time as I possibly can with you while I'm here."

She grinned slightly at his words, but the idea of him leaving wasn't going away.

"Saying goodbye to you is going to be really hard," she told him.

"You don't have to say it yet," he reminded her. "I'm not going anywhere tonight or tomorrow."

"But you will the day after."

"The best thing to do now is worry about right now . . . and, right now, I am holding my amazing future wife."

Clare smiled and tried to change her view to the present instead of the future for as long as she could.

"And I am holding onto my future husband."

He smiled at her before kissing her lips powerfully. She reciprocated the action, determined to put all she had into this one moment. She soon tangled all five fingers on her right hand in hair on the back of his head as he held her tighter in arms. He turned around and fell back on the bed, bringing Clare with him. They continued to kiss, but it was becoming less heated. They separated their lips, but still kept them in close proximity as she rested her forehead against his. She smiled at him before running her fingers through his dark hair before using her index finger to trace his lips.

"Long-distance may suck at times, but it's really going to make all the times we see each other more special," she said.

"That's what I'm going to keep thinking," he told her as he kissed her finger. She smiled down at him before locking her hands behind his neck and flipping them over so she was underneath him. He rested his hands on either side of her so he would not crush her while smiling down at her. "Whenever I come home, I promise that we will spend a lot time together."

"And we can have sleepovers?" she hoped.

"All night for all the nights you want," he replied before kissing her head. "Want to get some sleep?"

"Sure."

The two of them climbed into bed, her head resting on his chest as he held her in his arms. They rested there, trying to block out the truth that this was their last sleepover until they were able to spend a night together again. If this was to be her last night in Eli's arms, she was going to take it all in. She snuggled her head into his chest, inhaling his scent and getting comfortable in his strong arms.

"I can't until we can do this again."

"Me neither," he replied, holding her closer to him. "Are you going to be okay when I'm gone?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I'll miss you, but I'll be okay. What about you?"

"I'll get by. Just promise me something?"

"Anything," Clare said, turning her head up to meet his eyes.

"Please be here when I get back."

Clare smiled sadly at him; he was going to miss her and she was going to miss him, so she was definitely going to be waiting for him whenever he came home. Whenever he came home for a weekend to visit, she would make time to see him. She did not care if she had to cancel plans or miss out on something important; nothing would ever be as important as seeing the love of her life after being neglected of not doing so for weeks. She met his lips, determined to keep this vow for him as well as herself.

"I'll be waiting," she whispered to him as she pulled away for a brief second before kissing him again with all the love in her heart.

* * *

"_Summer has come and passed_

_The innocent can never last"_

_~"Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day_

* * *

The next chapter will be better (I promise).

Recommendation: anything by whiterosepoetry! She is one amazing poet!

Reviews please!


	106. The Night Before Life Goes On

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Have I ever mentioned how much I love you guys? Seriously, the feedback you guys give me is incredible! You are all amazing! Thank you everyone who has read, reviewed, subscribed, and added me or to this story to favorites. I really appreciate it everyone! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . I mean . . . yes I do. No I don't. Do I what? Cheese? Where?

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Six

The Night Before (Life Goes On)

Eli awoke the next morning at eight, Clare still sleeping against his chest; she looked so content with her eyelids covering her beautiful orbs and did not wish to disturb that in any way. He gazed at her and implanted her sleeping form into his memory; this would be the last time he would be able to hold her as she slept until he saw her again and he wanted to make it count. Every moment from this point on was going to be taken into his memory and he would make it last, considering he would be preparing to leave for Ottawa by this time tomorrow.

But that was not important now; Clare was and he watched her as her chest rose as she inhaled and fell as she exhaled. He noticed how she sighed and hummed in her sleep at times and he smiled whenever she did. Eli wondered if she was dreaming or not; and, if she was, he was curious to know what she was dreaming of. Did she dream often? Did she have nightmares? Were her dreams full of people she knew or if they were characters formed by her subconscious? It was fascinating to him, but he was not going to wake her just to ask her these questions; if he did, he would miss out on the beauty she possessed as she slumbered.

He stared at her for a few more minutes until he felt her stirring. He had spent enough nights with her to know that this meant she was about to wake; within a matter of seconds, her tired eyes soon showed themselves to him.

"Hello," she greeted him tiredly.

"Hello," he echoed, playing with the ends of her hair. He softly kissed her lips, hating the fact that their kisses were becoming limited. As it came to a finish and their lips separated, Clare let out a melancholy sigh.

"Your last day," she informed him.

"Why did you have to remind me?" he asked, pulling her closer to him.

She nestled her head back onto Eli's chest and began brushing her fingertips on his clad stomach. This would be her and Eli's last morning together when they woke up in his bed for some time, so it was a dismal moment for her.

"What do you dream about?" Eli then asked her.

"Hmm?" she hummed, not sure if she heard him correctly.

"At night, what do you dream about?"

She shrugged as she held on to him.

"A lot of things," she answered.

"Like what?"

"It depends; they change every night. Sometimes I dream about vampires –."

"Of course," Eli sighed in mock exasperation, causing Clare to stick her tongue out at him.

"And sometimes I dream about you . . . sometimes I dream about you as a vampire."

"Oh really?" he said, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes . . . and you are a very, very, _very_ sexy one," she informed him as she sat up and straddled his waist.

Eli had to say he was very interested. He was a part of Clare's dreams and he was curious as to how they played out, especially if he was some sort of sexy vampire.

"Care to share more details with me?" he asked, hoping that she would.

Clare leaned down and kissed his lips and ran a hand through his hair. When the kiss was over, she was gazing at him and smiling suggestively.

"You're . . . tall, dark, handsome, pale," she began, figuring that she should tease him by giving him the basics. "You lived in a mansion . . . and you had a thirst for a certain mortal's blood."

"Hmm . . . and who is this mortal?" he grinned, attempting to hide his interest.

"Well, she's someone you love . . . someone you want to marry."

Eli smirked before wrapping his arms around her and locking his fingers together on the small of the back.

"This mortal is you, isn't it?" he asked curiously.

"Oh . . . it might be."

She looked down at him and rubbed her hand on his sternum, continuing to grin at him hungrily.

"But in some dreams I have, I'm the one who has the thirst for human blood . . . _your_ blood."

"And then you turn me into a vampire?"

"Eventually," she nodded. "After you and I discuss doing . . . something . . ." She trialed off, focusing on Eli's eyes as she bit back on her lip and wiggled her eyebrows. She saw Eli's eyes light up while a smirk came on his face.

"Did you have a wet dream about me, Miss Edwards?"

"In your dreams," she chuckled before smashing her lips to his. They began kissing heatedly, their tongues battling as their hearts started racing. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him; he rolled over until she was under him while she wrapped her arms around his neck. They kissed more until they heard a knock on the door; startled, they separated.

"Rise and shine, lovebirds," Bullfrog's voice said from outside Eli's room. "Breakfast is being served."

"We'll be right out," Eli informed his father before turning back to Clare. "I guess this means our last summer sleepover has come to an end."

"I guess so," she said. "But this means that other sleepovers will begin soon."

He smiled at her, loving her optimism.

"I love that you always look on the bright side."

"One of us has to," she teased him.

Eli rolled his eyes and gave her one last kiss before they both got out of the bed and went to have breakfast with his parents.

()()

Their day with CeCe and Bullfrog was quite enjoyable; they went out to the movies, ate lunch at the Dot, spent time at his house and around town, and CeCe made a home cooked meal for them. Throughout the day, they shared memories, laughs, and smiles. CeCe, whose motherly instincts were kicking in more than ever now that her son was about to leave for college, kept telling Clare that she could come over for dinner a few times a week if she wanted; evidently, Clare would provide good company since Eli would be away. After a day of smiles and laughter, dusk had finally come and it was time for the final date Eli and Clare would have until he came back to Toronto.

They agreed for this date to be simple yet memorable, thus the location was decided instantaneously. The glow of the setting summer sun was raining down through the leaves as the two pulled into area of the abandoned church. They had come here countless times over the summer, but now it seemed to be more sacred to them. This was their place; a place where so much had happened and been said over the course of their relationship and it would be the location of their final date until they were together again.

"So, what are our plans for this evening?" she asked as they climbed out of the hearse.

"Well, firstly, I want to get one last look at that special tree of ours."

"Then let's get going," she said, taking his hand.

They journeyed through the woods until the found the clearing where he gave her the promise ring for the first time and when the idea of marriage first came along; it was also where they came to study for exams, do homework, or write together. Eli also remembered that this was where they had that amazing movie night that Clare set up; so many memories resided here and it was sad to know that it would be a while until he saw it again.

Clare continued holding his hand as she led him towards their tree; once they were there, he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and she rested her hands on top of his. They grinned when they saw that their names were still carved in the trunk; what Clare didn't know was that Eli came here once a week since they came back from Kingston and made the marks deeper just so it would remain in the wood for as long as nature would allow.

"I'll take care of it when you're away," she promised as she traced the _E_ at the beginning of his name.

Eli grinned before he kissed her behind the ear.

"It will still be here years from now," he whispered in her ear. "I don't think it'll go anywhere when we're in Ottawa together."

"If I get in," she stated.

"You will."

"I promise I'll try very hard to get accepted."

"Just try your best," Eli eased, believing that she will be accepted to the university. "But I'm sure you'll get in; you _are_ the smartest girl at Degrassi."

"You're just saying that," she blushed.

"No, I mean it. Seriously, what other person at Degrassi is smart enough to go straight from Grade Nine English to Junior Advanced English and then _Senior_ Advanced English?"

"That just proves I'm extremely literate."

"Young Clare, so modest," he sighed.

Clare rolled her eyes.

"More like _hon_est."

Eli chuckled before nuzzling her neck and inhaling her scent.

"Remember when we first found this place?"

"Yep," she nodded. "And when we found the church?"

"Yeah," he recalled. "It seems like forever ago."

"Tell me about it. Now my Eli is all grown up going to university."

Wishing that he had at least another month to prepare for the pain that was coursing through him at this moment, Eli removed his face from her neck and looked at her.

"I wish I could take you with me."

Grinning yet experiencing the same ache he had, she turned to meet his eyes.

"Well, if you're still not sick of me, I might be able to join you next year."

"Me get sick of you? Never," he grinned at her before planting a kiss on her temple.

"So by this time next year, we should be together in Ottawa."

"I have no doubt about it," Eli said, resting his chin on her shoulder as he turned back to the trunk of the tree. Months ago he carved their names into the wood and it rested there for the world to see if they chose to look. He really wished that they had a special place like this in Ottawa so he could go there to reflect on the memories about Clare in that area; unfortunately, that was not going to be the case. Although he had Clare's blood to keep him connected to her, he also wanted to remain connected to their special place. He took his cell phone out of his pocket before taking a picture of the trunk of the tree so their names were in the frame.

"Perfect," he approved after snapping the picture. Once it was saved, he changed his wallpaper to that very picture. "Now I'll always have a piece of this place with me."

Clare smiled, pleased that Eli would still be connected to this place even when he was three hundred miles away.

"Come on," she said. "Let's get this night started."

They traveled back through the woods and arrived at the church again just before it got dark. They moved to a fire pit that was surrounded by logs; as Clare sat on one of the logs, Eli went to the back of Morty and pulled out two metal skewers, a bag of marshmallows, and the black blanket he kept back there.

"How does roasting marshmallows over a fire sound?" he asked.

Clare grinned at the idea as he came towards her.

"I love the sound of that."

Eli returned her smile before putting the sticks and bag down. He wrapped the blanket around Clare's shoulders before kneeling by the fire pit; he pulled out a lighter and created a blazing fire. Once the flames were roaring, he sat next to Clare, who lifted up an arm to invite him to join her in the blanket; he scooted over to her until the blanket was around him as well as her.

"Gotta love bonfires," he proclaimed as he handed her one of the sticks.

"I know, right?" she said.

He opened up the marshmallows and handed her one. They each put one on the ends of their sticks before putting them in the fire. Clare pulled out her marshmallow and blew out the small flame.

"Open up," she told Eli, moving the end of the stick a few inches away from his face.

Smirking, he obeyed and pulled the marshmallow into his mouth. Once it was in his mouth, she got another out of the bag, which was now sitting between their feet, and put it on the stick.

"How is it?" she asked as she moved the other to towards the flames.

Eli swallowed the marshmallow in his mouth and looked at her.

"Sweet just like you," he flirted.

Clare playfully rolled her eyes at his sappiness before he pulled his stick out of the fire pit.

"Here," he said, moving his own marshmallow towards her mouth. "You share with me, I share with you."

Clare grinned before taking the treat in her mouth and removing it from the stick. Since he kept his in longer than hers, it was burnt and crispy, but it was delicious nonetheless. She swallowed before speaking.

"That was like you too; hard on the inside but all gooey on the inside," she explained.

"Yeah, that's me," he agreed with while placing another marshmallow at the end of his stick.

They exchanged these snacks back and forth for several minutes, exchanging kisses in between along with a few loving words. It wasn't long until there was only one marshmallow left in the bag and they kept insisting that the other could have it; Eli already had one in the fire, so he told Clare have it, but she said that he could have it.

"How about we share it?" Eli compromised as he pulled it out of the bag.

"How so?" she inquired of him.

"I'll tell you. Open your mouth," he told her.

Interested to know where this was going, she followed his instruction. Eli inched it towards her.

"Bite down gently," he directed once it was close enough. Clare complied until the marshmallow was resting between her teeth.

Eli then wrapped his free arm around her waist before inching his face to hers. He bit into the marshmallow before covering Clare's mouth with his own. She bit down on the sticky candy so it was divided it completely in half. She kissed Eli's mouth as the white confection was concealed behind her teeth.

They attempted to chew and swallow their marshmallows without breaking the kiss, but it was sloppy work. The couple eventually separated their lips and swallowed the remains. It was then that they realized that Eli's stick was still in the fire; he quickly pulled it out and that the tip of it was blackened. The marshmallow that was there a few minutes ago had since vanished. They looked in the fire pit and saw a black blob continuing to melt around the orange flames.

"Nicely done," Clare chuckled, putting her metal stick down.

"You sidetracked me," he accused her kiddingly as he set his poker next to hers.

"That's your own fault."

"But you know I can't resist you," he argued.

"You never tried," she said, nudging him in the side.

"How do you know?" he said, nudging her back.

"Either way, what we just did was _your_ idea."

"Oh, you know you loved it," he teased.

"I never said I didn't," Clare recalled.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders before kissing her head.

"I love you, Piglet."

"I love you too, Fluffy," she replied.

She would never admit it, but she sometimes adored it when he called her the nickname her aunt had given to her as a baby. She was going to miss this a lot, but she knew he had to go and she wasn't going to try to change his mind. She just couldn't wait to be back in his arms again when he returned.

"When you get back, do you want spend another night here?"

"I'd love to," he answered. "We just have to wait until I come back home."

"When do you think that'll be?" she asked.

"I don't know," he sighed sadly. "Hopefully soon."

"How soon?"

"I'll let you know once I figure out how hectic my schedule is going to be."

"Just don't wait until Christmas vacation to come back, okay?" she asked of him.

"I won't. That's too long of a wait for me."

Clare laid her head on Eli's shoulder while he caressed her curls as they looked at the fire.

"This is perfect," he told her.

"Yeah," Clare agreed. "Do you want to know something?"

"What?"

"I fell in love with you here at Adam's party last year."

"You did?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I just thought about how you said that your wish had already come true and then I just started thinking about us and . . . I just knew I loved you then."

Eli felt so much joy as she told him these blessed words.

"Do you want to know when I fell in love with you?"

"When?" she asked.

"When you said you'd stay with me even after you found out about my hoarding," he answered.

Clare smiled, although she wished she realized her feelings for Eli around the same time he realized them for her; she always wanted them to fall in love at the same time, but she fell too slowly.

"I guess I was a few steps behind you then, huh?"

"A bit, but at least we're walking side-by-side now."

She nodded in agreement, pleased that they were completely in love now and had the same feelings.

"Have you ever wondered why it took us so long to say 'I love you' to each other?" she asked. "Some couples say it after a few weeks, maybe a few months, but we didn't say anything for almost a year."

"Good things take time. I was also worried you wouldn't feel the same," he confessed.

"You really thought that I didn't love you?"

"I hoped that you did, but . . . I didn't want to risk losing the best thing that has ever happened to me by scaring her away like that."

Clare grinned at his statement, flattered that he had classified her as that. As her blush began to settle on her skin, she reached over and took his free hand.

"Now you don't have to worry about that," she grinned at him.

He squeezed her hand, knowing with every fiber of his being that she was speaking the truth. They were in love and they were going to spend the rest of their lives together and never had to worry about losing the other.

"Do you just want to stay out here for the rest of the night?" she asked tenderly, wanting to spend every last second possible with Eli.

"Curfew's at midnight, remember?"

"I don't care; I want to be with you and that's worth getting grounded."

"But, if you get grounded, that means no phone and no computer, ergo no communication between us for a week or two."

"Dang," she growled, seeing his point.

"Don't worry; we still have another hour until you're supposed to be home."

"That's better than nothing."

But that meant she had a maximum of two or three hours left with Eli until he came back or until she went to visit. They sat in the silence for seconds, holding hands while his arm sat around her shoulders.

"Dance with me?" he suddenly suggested, trying to forget the countdown that was put upon them.

Clare lifted her head from his shoulder and turned to him, smiling at his request; he was never a fan of dancing, so it was strange for him to propose it now. They have danced before, of course, but it was still shocking to her that he had asked such a question.

"It's going to be a while until I dance with a pretty girl again," he said to her, causing her to blush again.

"There's no music," she reminded him.

Rolling his eyes with a smile, Eli stood up from the log before journeying to his car. Seconds later, Clare heard the song "Marry Me" by Train start playing from Morty and she smiled. A couple of weeks ago, they had made a mixed CD and Clare begged him to put the song on there since she loved it so much; after hearing the song a few times, Eli admitted that it was a nice song and gave in. Having the feeling that he had purposely skipped to this song on their CD, she could not suppress her grin when he returned to the log she was still sitting on.

"How about now?" he asked, offering his hand to her.

"Okay," she agreed, standing up and taking his hand.

He then moved his hands to her waist while she intertwined her fingers together behind his neck. They slowly began to dance to the tempo of the song, their eyes locked as they held on to each other; Eli kissed her forehead and she felt her heart begin to drum against her chest. As they moved, Clare still found it astonishing that he could make her heart hammer insider her, make her blush, and he could still make his way into her dreams. These thoughts entering her mind, she recalled the dream she had while she slept in his arms. When Eli pulled his lips from her head, she met his eyes and decided to tell him what she had avoided speaking about that morning.

"Eli," she began, "that dream I told you about this morning . . . you were right."

"About what?" he asked.

She felt her cheeks turn color before looking at the ground.

"It was wet dream," she confessed. "We didn't just think about it, we actually . . . did it."

Eli smirked, amazed that she was actually being so honest with him about something that personal.

"You didn't have to tell me that if you didn't want to," he told her; he was pleased that she told him, but he was not going to tell that to her so she did not feel as if she had to reveal all the details if she did not wish to.

"I know. I just . . . I wanted you to know."

His smirk softened into a grin before holding her tighter in his arms as she cupped his forearms.

"Um . . . do you ever . . .?" she began apprehensively, hoping that she was not prying in a place he wanted to keep private. "Do you ever have dreams like that?"

To her relief, his lip curled into a lopsided smile before he kissed her lips powerfully. It was so intense and sudden that Clare had forgotten that she was standing on the ground; the passion of the kiss made her feel like she was floating. He slowly freed her lips from his, but the smile remained.

"Edwards, you have _no _idea," he said, causing her to giggle and turn red.

"And . . . are they good?" she asked timidly.

"What do you think?"

Clare smiled, knowing what he probably loved the dreams he had of her and him being passionate in that way. Feeling more comfortable with the action she was about to take, she took his wrists and slid them down until his palms and fingers were cupping her bottom.

"Clare," he breathed, surprised yet very pleased. They had been exploring intimacy, but this was the first time he had touched her there.

"Shhh," she told him before putting her lips to his and putting her hands on his chest, assuring him that she was perfectly fine with this. She actually really loved the feeling of hands touching her through her jeans. She continued to kiss him, allowing their tongues and lips to move together as she felt his heart beat erratically under her palm. She eased her lips off his, feeling a bit of pride to see his eyes glistening. "Are you happy?"

"Definitely," he nodded before reattaching his lips to hers. After a couple of seconds of endearing kissing, they separated. When Eli heard a small sound come from Clare's lips as he pulled away, he could not hold back his lopsided smile.

"What are you grinning at?" she asked, wanting to be sure she was the reason for his smile.

"I just love it when you do that."

"When I do what?" she asked curiously.

"When you make that humming sound after we finish kissing," he explained.

"I do that?" she asked with a blush before pulling back on her bottom lip.

"Sometimes. I also love it when you bite your lip like that."

"Do I do anything that you don't love?" she inquired as her face turned redder than ever.

"Is this a trick question?" he smirked.

Clare laughed before making an attempt to get even.

"You know we could do next time we see each other?" she began, sliding her hands down his torso.

"What?" he asked inquisitively.

"Have a heavy make-out session in Morty."

Eli's smile increased at these words, especially when her hands grazed his stomach.

"You tease me," he stated as he felt her hands lock together on the small of his back.

"You love it," she retorted with a smile on her face.

"True," he confessed. Being teased like this by Clare was a bit of a guilty pleasure of his; it may have been torture for her to mess with his mind like this, but he also found it amazing that she was always willing to go the extra mile with him when it came to their physical relationship. "I'm actually really going to miss doing these things with you."

"Well, when we visit we'll just have to make up for lost time," she persuaded him.

Eli smiled, approving of her idea.

"I'll make sure to put a sock on the doorknob so my roommate doesn't disturb us when you come up."

She snorted in laughter, amazed and excited that she was actually going to spend time getting intimate with Eli in his room at the University of Ottawa.

"I'll come up there the first chance I get," she promised.

Eli appreciated her offer, but with him settling in, both of them starting school, and her helping with Randall's wedding, he knew it would be a while until she would come to Ottawa.

"You know what else I'm really going to miss?"

"What?" she asked.

"All the little things about you," he answered. "Everything I've taken for granted over the past year and a half."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll have pictures, videos, my phone, and webcam so I could hear your voice and see you, but there are some things I won't be able to get while I'm away," he explained. He then took one of her hands and held it in both of his. "Like your beautiful skin."

He then brushed one of his hands over hers before abandoning it to run his fingers through her hair.

"Your soft hair," he continued. "Your gorgeous lips."

He kissed her lips before putting both of his hands on her waist.

"The way your curves feel," he listed again as he pulled away.

He then removed his right hand from her side and gently put it over her heart.

"Your heartbeat," he concluded, watching her to be sure she wasn't uncomfortable with where he was touching her. She then put her hand over his before she kissed him again.

"And I'm going to miss your kiss, the way you drive Morty, the way you hold me in your arms, everything," she confessed once she removed her lips.

Eli's stomach began to churn painfully; the idea of leaving Clare behind while he made a three hundred mile journey was torturous. He didn't want to leave her and not see her every day; it was going to be too hard. Plus the fear of something happening to them just made his nerves increase, causing him to think about all that could occur if anything went wrong.

"I don't want to go," he affirmed through a thick voice. "Not while I'm leaving you here."

Clare was unsure if Eli was simply nervous about going because it was going to be a new, unfamiliar place and that triggered these terrified feelings about the two of them, if he was really worried that something was going to happen to them, or if it was the unpleasant mixture of both.

"If you don't want to go, then don't. Just don't make that decision for the wrong reasons."

"Like what?" he asked.

"Just so you can stay with me."

"In my opinion, that's a very good reason."

"I don't want to be the one to hold you back. You have a lot of potential, Eli, and you have everything going for you. I'm not going to let you throw that all away for me."

"Clare . . . I love you; I don't want to lose you."

"And I love you, which is why I want you to believe me when I tell you that I want to be with you . . . forever."

She pulled him into an embrace of comfort. As she kept him against her, she tried not to cry. She was going to miss Eli and she did not know how she was going to get through any hardships she could face while he was not around. She was going into her senior year and her father was getting remarried; he had been her rock for such a long time, but now she was going to be alone. He would not be able to hold her when she cried, kiss her when she needed a smile, or go to his house and lie with him in his bed until the pain passed. She would have Alli, her parents, and his parents, but it would not be the same; they were all special to her, but with Eli she did not have to hide or hold back and that would be one of the qualities that she would long for the most. Unable to fight it, a tear rolled down Clare's cheek and let out a shaky breath of air. Eli held her tighter, knowing that she was on the verge of tears.

"It's okay," he said softly, rubbing her back.

"I-I . . ."

She did not want to tell him, for she did not want her pain to be a reason for him to stay behind with her. She sniffled and tried to keep herself calm as she clung to Eli, never wanting to release him.

"What's wrong, Clare?"

"Nothing," she lied.

"Sweetheart," he breathed in her ear.

That one word and the gentle tone he said it in convinced her to confess her pain. She usually would have put her walls up, but Eli wanted to know and it probably would have been better if he knew.

"It's j-just . . . it's going to be hard dealing with a lot without you. Y-You've been the one who was here whenever I needed someone and . . ."

Eli turned his head to kiss her clad shoulder, wishing that Ottawa was closer or that he could be in two places at once so he could be here with Clare while getting an education.

"You can call me whenever you need to, okay?" he consoled her. "Just because I'm away doesn't mean I'm going to stop listening to you when you're upset."

She nodded, appreciating his words although they both knew it would not be the same. They would figure out how to communicate, but it would be difficult to adjust to their new lifestyles without seeing their significant other. As Eli held her, he felt guilt inside him along with his fear. If he went to Ottawa, it would affect Clare as well; she would miss him and he knew that it would be hard for her to see someone she loved leave again. But it was clear that she cared more about his education than her pain, so he would go, but not without recognizing how fortunate he was to have this girl in his life.

"I'm going to make this up to you someday," he vowed.

As usual, he was putting her before himself and Clare thanked God that Eli was the one who had stolen her heart and she could not think of anyone else she would rather be with. His love, his care, and his promise to wait for her were more than enough for her; in her opinion, all he had to do was fulfill his vow to become her husband and everything would be fair.

"Marry me on June 14th in a bit less than six years no matter what and I'll be okay with us having a long-distance relationship."

Marriage. That would be what would keep him strong. Clare wanted to marry him someday and he wanted to marry her; as long as that single fact stayed true, he knew he could get through all the difficult times they faced. His marriage to Clare would make all the pain, goodbyes, and struggles worth it; he would go through all they were about to dive into without a second thought if it meant that Clare would one day share his last name.

"I'll be there," he promised her.

She grinned as the whispers of those words played in her brain; he said those three words with so much love and honesty that she could believe him with no doubt or hesitation in her mind.

"I love you, Elijah Nicholas Goldsworthy."

"I love you too, Clare Diana Edwards."

They stood in place and held on to each other, not caring how long they remained on the spot; they were holding the love of their life, so they did not care how much time they spent in this position. Once they separated, they walked back to the fire pit. They sat on the logs, holding on to each other, exchanging kisses, and talking yet not really speaking. The time passed by quickly and it was soon time for the night to end.

"It's almost midnight," Eli stated, observing his watch. "I should get you home."

Clare nodded sadly. She and Eli put out the fire, collected anything they brought with them, and traveled back to Morty, disheartened that their night was coming to an end.

The ride home was silent. Neither of them could think of anything to say that was worth saying; everything they thought of was about how this was their last night together and they did not want to bring that up since it was coming to an end. The two of them soon arrived at her house and walked up the path hand-in-hand.

"So, Edwards, is this goodbye for now? Or do you want me to come by tomorrow before I go?" he asked as they stopped on the front step.

"Come by, if you don't mind."

"Not at all," he said.

They pulled each other in for a hug, never wanting to let go but knowing that they had to.

"I love you," she said, choking back the tears inside her.

"I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow," he promised before giving her a gentle kiss.

"Goodnight," she said to him.

"Goodnight," he replied.

She reluctantly released him, keeping back her tears. She watched him go to Morty, looking over his shoulder constantly as he did so. Once he got to the driver's side of his car, he waved at her and she waved back before he climbed in. She bit her lip, forbidding herself to cry until Eli's car was off the street. As soon as Morty's taillights disappeared, she went into her house before leaning against the front door and sliding down it. Her eyes began to water and tears began going down her face as she begin to let the reality sink in to her heart. This was her and Eli's last night together for a while and tomorrow morning was going to be the last moment they would share until he returned home.

* * *

"_They've been dreading this moment all summer long_

_The night before life goes on"_

_~"The Night Before (Life Goes On)" by Carrie Underwood_

* * *

I know, sad, but review please?

Recommendation: "Her Secret Admirer" by degrassibear. That fic is amazing!

Happy Birthday to twitter friend, Kira Genovese


	107. Leaving On a Jet Plane

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for your reviews! I really love you guys (all of you) and I'm sorry if I ever single some people out more than others; truth is, you are all awesome and I appreciate all of your reviews!

I'm not going to lie; this chapter may be a bit of a tearjerker. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . if I did I would keep Eli and Clare together FOREVER! I don't own any song mentioned in this fic either.

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Chapter One Hundred Seven

Leaving On a Jet Plane

The morning came too soon for Eli's liking. His alarm went off at eight o'clock sharp, which caused him wake up to a room that was almost empty of most of his belongings. The reality was beginning to hit him faster than the speed of light; he was leaving his family, his home, and his future wife. For so long this day felt far away, now it was here and it was as if it had come in a blink of an eye. He was excited to finally be going to university, but it was going to be challenging to say goodbye.

He had to be at the University of Ottawa by four and, with the traffic, it was probably going to take him five hours to get there, so he did not have time to lie around and reminisce for too long. Plus, he wanted to see Clare before he left and he still needed to put everything into Morty. He wanted to go by Trent University to check in on Adam, but he didn't have time.

He got out of bed, showered, got changed, and returned to his room to pack away anything else he needed. He collected his toiletries, additional objects, and his wallet and keys before looking back at his room one final time; it was eerie to know that he would not see it again for at least a month, maybe longer. He looked at the bed as a lopsided grin came to his lips of all the memories he had that were related to it.

By nine o'clock, he and his parents had begun putting everything inside Morty. It was at moments like this when he was glad he owned a hearse merely because they did not have much difficultly loading all his boxes. Once the final box was loaded, he turned back to the house and looked at it. While he looked at it, all the memories that came with this place came back to him, the good and bad. He could remember when they first moved in, when he, CeCe, and Bullfrog would sit and have dinner together, when they listened to music or watched movies, all of it plus more. Eli may not have shown it often but was actually a bit sad that he was leaving his home and his parents; for the first time in his life, he was going to be away from his own room and his parents for a long period of time. He was going to fend for himself and stand on his own two feet; although he was pleased that he would be able to gain his independence, it was also heartbreaking for him. Tasting the bittersweet truth of this situation, Eli let out a breath of air and averted his eyes from the house.

His reminiscing was just the tip of the iceberg. He faced CeCe and Bullfrog; his mother had been tearing up all morning, but now tears were staining her face while her husband kept an arm around her shoulder in an effort to console her.

"You think you're all ready to go, kid?" Bullfrog asked, smiling only to shine a bit of light on the situation.

"Yeah, I think so," he nodded.

Without warning, CeCe broke out into a fit of sobs.

"Honey, it's okay," Bullfrog eased her.

"O-Our baby boy is going to college," CeCe choked. "He's all grown up."

"Mom, I'll always be your baby boy," Eli said to her, knowing it would make her happy.

"I-I know," she breathed, clearing the trails off her cheeks. "It's just . . . you're going to university and getting married in the same decade. It still feels like just yesterday you were a toddler dancing to Mötley Crüe."

"Oh, the memories," Eli recalled.

His parents grinned with him, but it was not much longer until CeCe began weeping again. She walked over to Eli and hugged him; she loved hugging her son, but, as he hugged her back, more of her tears came raining out of her eyes.

"Oh, sweetie," she cried as she held him.

"I'll come back soon," he promised his mother as she sobbed. "Don't cry, Mom," he added soothingly. "It's not like I'm never coming back."

She understood this, but it did not make the thorn in her heart go away. Her first and only child was leaving, so this would be a first and last for her and she was not as prepared for it as she believed.

"Be careful," his mother said after she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I will," he swore as he leaned out of the hug.

"Now don't be a stranger."

"I won't; I'll call every chance I can."

"And come home soon."

"I will. The second I'm free, I'll come back."

"And don't –."

"CeCe, I'll be fine. Everything will be great."

She nodded, seeing that it was now time to let her baby bird leave the nest. She smiled, taking pride in the fact that her child had grown up to be the man he was today and she knew that she could not ask for a better son.

"Alright," she said.

They exchanged smiles before Eli turned to his father. He was smiling as usual, but the pain in his eyes was evident. Since the two of them were so close, they both expected this parting to be arduous on both of them. At the same time, they did not want to let down their guards nor did they want to give another reason to make CeCe even more upset. Deciding it would be best to be strong for the entire family, they came to the silent agreement to make this as painless as possible.

"Go rock the world," Bullfrog said as he pulled Eli into a hug.

"You know I will."

They leaned out of the hug before Eli looked at both of his parents again. He told himself that he was not going to cry today, but he could not help it. Seeing his father on the verge of tears and his mother falling apart all but pushed him over the edge. If there was any decent time to share a real goodbye with them, it was now. All three of them seemed be having the same idea, for at the same time, the family of three huddled into a group hug.

"I love you guys," he told them.

"We love you too," his parents said at the same time.

The Goldsworthy family held on to each other, wishing that letting go did not have to be this hard. Eli expected leaving his parents would be tough, but he did not expect it to cause him this much pain.

"Come back anytime, okay?" Bullfrog told him.

"Count on it," Eli promised.

He leaned out of the embrace, his heart sore. Each of them had a trail of tears going down their faces; they knew then it was better if he left now so any further heartbreak could be saved.

"I should get going," Eli said, knowing that this was just the beginning of the ache for him; he still had to say goodbye to someone else. He journeyed over to Morty, wiping the tears out of his eyes and off his skin in the process. Before he climbed in, he gave his parents a final wave and they mirrored him. As he climbed into the hearse, CeCe laid her head on Bullfrog's shoulder and continued to cry.

While he drove away, Eli's heart began to beat painfully; this was the first dose of agony he was forced to feel and he doubted the next would be any easier. He began to drive down the street towards Clare's house. He didn't want to dwell on the undeniable truth that this was going to be the last time he'll see her for a while. He was heartbroken by it, but he knew that she wanted him to go and that a part of him did as well. He had just become so accustomed to seeing Clare, holding her, and kissing her every day that it was going to be extremely difficult to adjust to a lifestyle different from that.

He soon turned onto Clare's street, not being able to believe that he was not going to be driving on this road and taking her to school, picking her up for at date or anything of the sort for at least another month. His eyes were going to be deprived of seeing the suburban street or the house where his girlfriend of one year and seven months lived.

He parked Morty right in front of her house, got out of the hearse, and walked straight towards the entrance of the home. Before he even reached the front door, Helen opened it, a briefcase in hand.

"Hello, Eli," Helen greeted.

"Hi, Mrs. Edwards," he replied.

"Come on in," she permitted.

"Thank you."

Eli stepped inside, another realization coming over him: this would be the last time he would see the inside of this house for some time. This was definitely a day of lasts.

"Clare, Eli's here!" Helen called.

Clare journeyed from the kitchen into the living room, a Tupperware container in her hands; Eli saw her red eyes and he began to feel terrible for leaving her like this and putting her through the rough journey that is a long-distance relationship.

"Hi," she greeted through a forcefully strong voice.

"Hi," he replied, breaking on the inside but staying firm on the outside.

"So are you all ready to go?" Helen asked him.

"Yeah, I just came over to say bye and everything."

"Right," Helen said.

Although she did not have the same strong relationship with Eli as Clare did with CeCe, she was actually sad to see him leave. Over the past few months, she had grown really fond of him and she had a feeling of just how different life was going to be without him; she also knew that his absence would result in fewer smiles from her daughter. Seeing that she should give the couple the opportunity to say their goodbyes, Helen knew it would be best if she did not impose on their last few moments any longer.

"Well, I need to get to work. You have a safe trip, okay?" she said to Eli before pulling him into a friendly hug.

"I will," he promised as he reciprocated the action; he found it amazing that at this time last year Clare's mother would not even look him in the eye, now they were interchanging this farewell.

"And will we be seeing you anytime soon?" she asked him as their hug ended.

"Hopefully," he answered.

"Alright," Helen grinned. "Well, I'll give you two some time. I'll see you when I get home," she said to her daughter before turning back to Eli. "And I'll see you when you come back."

"Bye, Mrs. Edwards."

"See you, Mom," Clare said, her voice breaking slightly. Witnessing what was just exchanged between Helen and Eli, it had suddenly dawned on her that this was truly happening: Eli was leaving and had come to say his goodbyes to her. She expected it to be hard, but now that she had some idea as to what she was in for, her heart began to break.

The door closed and the couple was left alone in the house. Eli met her eyes, which were still bloodshot against her pale face; she tried to put a grin on her face, but it was so false that even Clare knew that Eli would see through it.

"You've been crying," he observed.

"No," she responded a bit too quickly. "I just have allergies."

Eli chuckled sadly.

"That's the oldest excuse in the book."

"I-I just . . ." she choked.

"I know," he said comfortingly as he wrapped his arms around her. She copied the action and took a deep breath.

"That day has finally come," she said as a couple of tears leaked out of her eyes.

"Day one," he replied.

She leaned out of his arms and wiped her tears away from her face. She sniffled and took a breath before turning to him.

"You're all set to go?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I just have to fill up Morty then we begin our journey."

Clare held back her tears; usually it would be that they would have endless hours together, but now they were done to a limited number of minutes. They stood there, trying their best not to let the scene become too emotional; they looked at each other, the unfamiliar feeling of longing settling in already. For the first time all summer, neither of them did wanted to break the silence. Clare cleared her throat, hoping to get a conversation going.

"Here are some homemade chocolate chip cookies for the road," she said, handing him the container that had been in her hands.

"Thanks . . . I didn't know you could bake."

"I've helped out with my share of church bake sales over the years," Clare shrugged. Eli nodded and smiled.

"I'm marrying a woman of many talents."

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, not believing him.

"Let's see," he began to ponder. "You're a writer, baker, tutor, lover–."

"Shut up," she chortled as she playfully pushed his shoulder.

"I'm just stating the facts."

She smiled at him before taking in a gulp of air. She realized that this could be the last time Eli would compliment her in person until they saw each other again. Scolding herself for thinking negatively during her last few moments with Eli, she took a step toward him and hugged his waist.

"Remember when we danced in this very spot five months ago?" she recalled. "Right before we made love for the first time?"

"How can I forget? That's still one of the best nights of my life."

"Mine too," she agreed.

Clare blinked away all the tears and tried not to cry, but she was not sure how much longer she would be able to hold on for.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said softly. "It's just a bit . . ."

"Hard?" he empathized.

She nodded.

"Was it this bad saying goodbye to CeCe and Bullfrog?"

"Yeah," he answered.

Eli rested his forehead against Clare's, watching her try to stop herself from shedding tears.

"It's okay to cry, you know," he said tearfully, having difficulty choking back his own teardrops.

"I'm okay," she lied, not wanting to discuss how upset they both were about becoming separated. She took a breath before grinning up at him, her eyes slowly beginning to dry. Eli, impressed by how she was putting on this brave face for the sake of their final minutes together, planted a gently kiss on her head.

"Turn around and close your eyes," he then instructed as he put the container on a table by the door.

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"You'll see."

Clare obeyed and waited. Seconds later, she felt Eli wrap and secure something metal around her neck. She put her fingertips on her right hand to the item; it was a chain that had a metal guitar pick attached. She turned around to face him, surprised that he had given her this.

"I want you to have it for a while," he told her.

"What?" she asked, astonished that he was choosing to leave this necklace behind.

"I want you to hold on to it for me," he restated.

"Eli, this is your favorite necklace; you wear it all the time. I can't take it."

"I want you too."

"But –."

"I don't mind."

"Are you sure?" she clarified; this was one of Eli's prized possessions, thus she did not him to part with it unless he was completely certain.

"Think of it as a symbolic thing for our long-distance relationship. If you have it, it means that we're still together. Every time I realize I don't have it, I'll know that it's in good hands, and every time you see it, you can think of me."

Clare grinned in the upmost approval of the idea.

"I like that," she smiled. "Just don't be asking for it back anytime soon."

"Only if you don't send it back to me," he negotiated.

"I won't," she promised.

In awe that he had given this to her, she looked down at the pick of the necklace, which she was still caressing with her fingers.

"I guess this means we'll always have a part of each other, hu?"

"Exactly," Eli grinned, wrapping his hand around the vial of blood that hung from his neck.

Clare grinned back at him before they met their lips for the first of the few kisses they had left. This thought came to them both as they leaned away, for they did not meet eyes so the other would not see how broken they were.

"Um . . ." Eli began to break the silence as he picked up the container he had placed on the table seconds before. "I should . . ."

He used this thumb to point to the door behind them and Clare nodded in agreement, knowing it would be better for both of them to not avoid what was to come. They exited the house and went towards the hearse. He put the container of baked goods in the passenger seat and closed its door before facing Clare again. While they stood next to Morty, she secured her arms around his waist and he gently cupped her biceps.

"Our first long-distance date is one month from now, right?" he asked; they had decided a couple of days ago while packing that they would have their first date through webcam a month after he arrived in Ottawa.

"Yeah," she replied. "I can't wait."

"Neither can I, but I do intend on having an actual date with you sometime soon."

"That sounds great."

"And I'll make sure it's special."

"We'll be together; that's good enough for me."

He grinned at her, amazed how she was able to focus on the simple parts of their relationship and still be happy despite the events of today.

"Are we crazy for doing this?" he asked.

"Probably, but we'll make it work," she assured him, pulling herself closer to him. "Are you worried?"

"I'm terrified," Eli confessed. "New city, new school, I'm not seeing my best friend, I'm leaving my home, my parents, and my girl."

"Just remember that we're a phone call away," she said as she felt her cheeks turn pink.

"Thankfully," he smiled. "We'll make it, right?"

"We love each other enough, so we will. Think of it this way: if we were married, we wouldn't have to worry about growing apart or breaking up; we're kind of engaged in a way, which is not exactly the same, but we will be wed in six years so we don't have to worry about it because we both know nothing can break us up."

Eli absorbed this knowledge before presenting her with a lopsided smile.

"Have I ever mentioned that your logic is very attractive?"

"I don't believe you have," she answered with a flirtatious grin.

"Well, it is very, very, _very_ attractive," he said as he held out that last very, which caused her to giggle.

"And have I ever told you that I love it when you call me your girl?"

"Don't think so."

"Then I guess I should tell you that I love it so, _so_ much."

They then pulled each other in for a lingering kiss. They relished the kiss, knowing that these were numbered until they saw each other again. They pulled apart and grinned at each other.

"You'll always be my girl."

"Swear?"

"Swear on Morty."

"Ooh, that's serious."

They both chuckled before pecking their lips together.

"I'll come back soon," Eli promised as he pulled away.

"And I'll come up when I can. Call me when you get there, okay?" Clare told him as tried to keep the presence of tears out of her eyes.

"I will," he vowed.

"And watch out for some of those college girls. I'm sure they'll offer to do many things with you that I won't do until we're married."

"Babe, they can offer to do whatever they want with me but I will decline every single time. I'm not going to do anything with anyone else except you; that includes flirting, kissing, marrying, and everything else."

"Are you sure you only want to do all that with one woman for the rest of your life?"

"Only if that one woman is you."

"You can count on that," she grinned as she tried not to cry.

He smiled at her before checking his watch. It was now nine fifty-five and he wanted to be on the road by ten so he could get to Ottawa on time.

"Um . . . I should get going. No use prolonging the inevitable."

That did it for her; she felt a tear trickle out of her eye and down her cheek. She hurriedly cleared it from her face, but once that tear was gone more formed and began to fall on her skin to replace it.

"I'm not crying," she defended before he said anything. "I'm extremely happy for you, that's all. You're going to a college that you've always wanted to go to with a full scholarship and that just makes me _so_ happy and I'm so proud of you."

He knew Clare well enough to know that she wasn't telling the whole truth. Yes, she was happy for him, but she was devastated at the same time since he was leaving her here.

"It's okay," he soothed her as Eli pulled her into him so her head was buried in his shoulder, allowing her to cry. He rested his head by hers as he heard her sobs and it broke his heart knowing that his potential departure was the reason behind them. He felt a few tears of his own slide down his cheeks as she wrapped her arms around him. "_I will await, dear_," he began to softly sing, "_A patient of eternity, my crush_."

Clare let out a few pleasant chuckles mixed in with her cries as she heard him continue some of her favorite lines of their song.

"_A universal still, no rust_," Eli continued as he swayed slightly with her in his arms to the song's tempo. "_No dust will ever grow on this frame. One million years, and I will say your name. I love you more than I can ever scream_."

"_We booked our flight those years ago,_" Clare began to sing with him. "_I said I loved you as I left you. Regrets still haunt my hollow head, but I promised you that I will see you again_."

They stopped swaying and Clare leaned out to look at him, but their arms continued to hold each other.

"I'll miss you," Eli told her.

"I'll miss you too."

They exchanged small, sad grins before pecking their lips together again.

"I love you so, so, so, so much," she said as she held him tightly in her arms. She wasn't going to let go until she knew she absolutely had to.

"And I love just as much," he vowed to her. "I can't wait to be your husband one day."

"I can't wait to be your wife."

They then connected their lips for what was to be their last kiss for a while and cherished it for as long as possible. Neither of them knew when they would feel this sensation or taste each other again, so they wanted to implant it in their memories until they were able to re-experience it. After no less than a whole two minutes of passionate kissing, they leaned away. Eli looked at her eyes and said the hardest words he never wished to say.

"I have to go," he told her regretfully as he tried not to cry again.

Clare sighed before nodding, her tears slowly returning.

"Be careful," she said to him.

"I will. I promise."

He then pulled her in for one last embrace.

"I love you so much, Clare."

"I love you too, Eli," she replied.

"See you later," he said.

"See you later," she repeated.

He leaned out of their hug and they slowly released each other. His arms left her body and Clare realized that the moment that had passed would be the final time he would hold her until one of them made a five-hour long trip. Without taking his eyes off his girlfriend, he walked to the other side of Morty and climbed in. Seconds later, Clare heard the engine roar to life and she knew that this was the beginning of this one – possibly four – year long-distance relationship.

He began driving down the street; he looked at one of the mirrors and saw Clare standing in the spot where he left her. Tears were quickly pouring out of her eyes again and she clutched the guitar pick on the necklace in her hand. The pieces of his fractured heart shattering, he refused to see Clare in pain because of him; he promised himself that he would never hurt her and he had broken that too many times and would not let it happen anymore.

Having a clear idea of what he was doing, Eli stomped on the brakes and Morty came to a screeching halt. He climbed out of the hearse and ran onto the sidewalk; once he was there, he saw Clare rushing towards him. She flung her arms around his neck as she jumped and hugged her legs around his waist; he cupped her upper thighs to keep her up. Their lips collided for the umpteenth time that day, but this time they used all their willpower to not let go. She then put her feet back on the ground, but kept her arms around him and he stuck his hands to her hips.

"I'm staying," Eli stated, pulling away from the kiss.

"What?"

"I'm staying here. I'll take online courses, I'll go to TU, I'll go to Ottawa some other time, I don't care what I have to do but I'm not going to leave you."

Clare could not believe what she was hearing; what she still found astonishing was that she was sure that Eli meant every word he was saying. He would seriously put all his hard work to the side just so he would not have to risk losing her or putting her through the struggles of long-distance. As touched as she was, however, she knew that he wanted to go to Ottawa deep down and she refused to let him toss it away as though it was nothing.

"Eli, that's crazy."

"I know, but it will be better for us if I stay here or if I wait and go next year with you."

"This will be good for us," Clare tried to reason with him in hope that she could convince him and herself that this was for the best.

"But we might break up."

"No, we won't."

"Clare –."

"You got a full scholarship the University of Ottawa. You deserve to go."

"That doesn't matter to me."

"All you wanted since you were thirteen was to go to U of O. I can't let you throw it all away for me."

"All I want is for us to get married," he told her. "If I go, there's a chance that it won't happen."

"It will, I promise," she told him. "I will still be here years from now and I will still want to be married to you."

"How do you know?"

"I just know," Clare said. "I know we'll make it and I know that we'll be happily married ten years from now. But I also know that if you don't get in that hearse and go to Ottawa, you'll look back on it and regret not going there."

"But what if we –?"

"We _won't_ break up, Eli. I'm going there next year, we're going to keep in touch, and we'll get married someday. Trust me."

Eli then looked at the hearse, thinking about the opportunity he would be passing up if he stayed here. He had dreamed of going there for years, so he knew that he would probably regret it at some point in his life he did not have a chance to experience it. However, Clare was more important to him than life, and he was not going to risk losing her, not for anything.

"If you swear that we will not break up, I'll go."

"Eli, I swear we won't break up."

He was silent for a second, knowing that the decision they had just made was final. He would leave Toronto, drive for five hours, and begin this long-distance relationship with Clare . . . but he was going to be sure she was aware that she would always be the number one priority in his life. Everything in the world would come in second place in care and importance and Clare would always be first.

"I can come back at any time," he told her softly. "If you call and tell me that you want me to come back here to stay, I'll leave Ottawa in a heartbeat."

"Well, I might want to make that call sometimes, but don't expect me to actually make it."

Eli shook his head, smirked, and met her eyes.

"Why do you care about me so much?" he asked, disbelieved that she would go through with this just so he could go to this university.

"You already know the answer to that."

He nodded, knowing that he did.

"Call me whenever you need to, even if it's in the middle of the night," he began to tell her hurriedly. "If you want me to come home for a day out of the blue, I'll do it. You can visit at any time and if –."

She cupped his face with her hands, guiding his face look straight at hers; as her skin touched his, he was instantly silent and gazed at her beautiful eyes.

"Go. I'll be here waiting for you when you get home."

"Promise?" he asked, gently wrapping his hands around her wrists.

"I promise."

For the first time since they found out about him being accepted to Ottawa, this decision was beginning to feel rewarding. The couple proved to each other that their love was strong and unselfish, and they would not fail for as long as they had that. Plus, with all the fear and worry aside, he was actually eager to go to the University of Ottawa and begin that chapter of his life. The only downside was that he would actually have to leave Clare for that to happen.

"One more kiss goodbye?" he requested.

Clare grinned before kissing his lips again. They remained that way for a few seconds when they finally released each other.

"I'll miss you," he told her once again.

"Me too," Clare whispered. "And I love you."

"I love you too," Eli replied. "As if you didn't already know."

She grinned before he put his lips on hers for another time.

"Quit stalling," she smiled as they separated their mouths. "Get out of here."

"Okay, now I'm starting to have that feeling that you actually _want _to get rid of me," he jested as he released her hands as she removed them from his face. They were too busy focusing on each other's smiles to consider that this would be the last time their skin would make contact. As they grinned at each other, Eli began moving back towards Morty as Clare stood in place.

"The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back!" she mentioned, smiling while a couple of tears came down her cheeks. Eli smiled back at her, knowing she was right.

"Then I'm going!" he declared.

"Good, go!" she encouraged, excited that he was pursuing his journey to his education.

"University, here I come!"

"Ottawa's waiting for you!"

Getting one last look at Clare and giving her a final smile, Eli got back inside Morty, his heart and mind determined on his destination. While he put the car back in gear, he kept looking at his review mirror and saw Clare, who was continuing to smile. Before he began to drive, he stared at her reflection one last time and held her vial of blood for a second, reminding himself that she would always be with him.

Clare stood on the corner of the street and waved at Eli as he drove away. She continued this until he was out of her sight. As soon as Morty disappeared from her vision, she felt the pick on necklace with her fingers before looking down at it and smiling; she brought it to her lips and gently kissed it before looking up at the empty street.

"I'm waiting for you," she whispered to the long-gone presence of Eli.

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"_So kiss me and smile for me_

_Tell me that you'll wait for me_

_Hold me like you'll never let me go"_

_~"Leaving On a Jet Plane" by John Denver_

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Happy Birthday to my twitter friend xoFrap

So, I started writing this a long time ago and, in my opinion, this is one of the best chapters I've written for this story . . . well, I thought that until the time to publish came and now I don't know.

Read "Memories of Two Buddies and Lovers" by BlackRabbit550, "The Monster Inside" by eclarefanxxx, and "Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance" by thegoodgirldoll.

Review!


	108. I Keep On Loving You

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you guys SOOOOO much for your always incredible reviews and support. I really doubted how good the last chapter was, but I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. I can't believe we're over 1,300 reviews! You are all amazing! Now, here comes the newest section of the story: the college years. Be prepared for everything, including the unexpected.

I BS'ed a lot of this college stuff since I'm still in high school, so I'm sorry if this is a bit off. I did a bit of research on the University of Ottawa, so I hope I'm describing it right. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but how wicked would it be if all the EClare/Drianca/Fimogen shippers did?

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Chapter One Hundred Eight

I Keep On Loving You

After driving for an hour, Eli was eventually able to focus completely the road on the road ahead of him. Many times he considered turning back around, but his conscience, which sounded uncannily like Clare's voice, told him to keep going. He knew that Clare would, indeed, tell him to get back on the road and go on to Ottawa, so he continued towards his destination. He listened to various radio stations and CDs on his trip while he snacked on the cookies Clare made him for the road, all of which, he believed, were absolutely delicious and he had to discipline himself to not eat the whole container in less than an hour.

By the time he entered the city of Ottawa, the container was completely empty save for some crumbs. Since he and his parents came up to orientation weeks before, he recognized the dormitory he would be staying in – the Stanton Residence – in no time at all. He parked his hearse outside the dorm and climbed out, observing the tall building in front of him. This was going to be his home this school year, so he knew that he had better start getting used to it. He was just pleased that he could spend this day getting settled, unpacking, and becoming comfortable in this unfamiliar place. His room was located on the third floor, and therefore he saw that it was in his best interest to start moving all of his stuff to his room now.

He got his first box out, knowing it would be better to get the moving in over with instead of griping about it. He entered the dorm, seeing the lobby and the hundreds of students who have already arrived. He saw many freshmen, who were also moving into this dorm, and most of them looked terrified while others were ecstatic. He passed a group of boys who were talking – well, chanting – about how excited they were to be at Ottawa. He had to admit, he was looking forward to getting settled and looking around. First, however, he wanted to move all his boxes into his room.

"Excuse me," Eli said every five seconds, moving passed the crowded lobby as he began looking for some stairs or an elevator. To his relief, he saw an elevator along the left wall near some other doors that led to a dining hall. He was halfway there when, out of nowhere, a sudden force collided with his side. He heard a small shriek and a thud before turning to his right to investigate what had hit him.

It was then when he noticed that girl had bumped into him and she lost the grip on her own box, causing her stuff to spill all over the floor. She was his height, had ginger hair, and blue eyes. Eli put his box down and joined her as they began collecting her belongings.

"I am _so_ sorry," she said, throwing anything she could find into the box.

"It's fine," he reassured her, handing her some of her sweaters and jackets.

"I'm such a klutz," the girl continued to say rather quickly. "You must have been the tenth person I've ran into today. But at least you didn't fall down like some others did."

Eli grinned just so the girl would not think he was not listening; once that tension was eased and the items were gathered, they stood up as they got a fresh grip on their boxes. He began moving and, it seemed, that this girl was going in the same direction.

"You a freshman?" he asked as they walked towards the elevator.

"Is it that obvious?" she asked, embarrassed.

"No, I just want to be sure that I'm the only one," he explained, pressing the button.

"Oh, so this is your first year too?"

"Yep," he answered as the doors opened up. They went inside the vacant elevator, Eli pushing the button to his appropriate floor.

"Hey, we're both on the same floor," she pointed out.

"How about that?"

They fell silent as the elevator began to move, Eli drumming his thumbs on the side of his box while the girl kept still.

"I'm Cathy, by the way."

"Eli," he replied as they arrived at their floor. They stepped out and began locating their rooms.

"Does your girlfriend go here?" she asked as they began searching.

"How did you know I have a girlfriend?" he answered with a question, slightly taken aback.

"The vial of blood around your neck," she explained.

"Oh," he said, feeling Clare's presence as he remembered how her blood was with him. "No, she's still in high school."

"Is she far away?"

"Toronto," he nodded. "What about you? Got a boyfriend here?"

"Nah," she said. "We broke up after graduation; we thought it was time we went our separate ways."

"That must've sucked."

"Yeah, but that's the point of college, isn't it? Getting out, meeting new people?"

"I guess," he shrugged.

"Here's my room," she suddenly spoke as she took notice of room two hundred four. "Better get settled and everything."

"Okay, good luck."

"I'll see you around."

"See you," he said before continuing down the hall. Eli was slightly surprised that he had met someone new and that they had gotten along within the first five minutes of arriving. She seemed nice, plus she did not seem crestfallen about him having a girlfriend, so he felt that he and Cathy could possibly have friendship if they chose to.

He kept walking down the hall while looking at the numbers on the doors, searching for room two hundred fifteen. After stepping over many objects in his path and maneuvering around his peers, he finally found his room and was able to put his first box in his room. He did not take the time to absorb the layout yet, for he was going to retrieve the rest of his belongings and bring them up before taking care of anything else.

After several trips up and down the elevator to gather his boxes, he was finally able to take a good look at the place that he would be sleeping in this school year. It was a bit smaller than his room in Toronto, but it was spacious enough for him. Since there was no one in there, he assumed that his roommate had not arrived yet. One side of the room was symmetrical to the other, so Eli just walked to the left side to claim it as his own and observed it. Near the entrance was a dresser, then there was his bed along the wall, and then a suitable size closet; on the back wall was a window overlooking the campus with a small desk under it. He looked to the other side and found it slightly disturbing how symmetrical they were. Shaking off the chills, he decided that it was time to start settling in . . . that is, after he took care of a small detail.

He called CeCe and Bullfrog first, since he promised them he would before he left his house that morning. After they asked him a million questions, he told them he would call them later. Before he could call Clare, however, Adam called him; Eli answered the phone and told him that he was finally in Ottawa. After a few minutes of claiming their "superiority" as college freshmen, they said farewell and agreed to Skype later. He decided to call Clare, already wanting to hear her voice even though they had only been apart for a maximum of six hours. He sat down on the edge of his new bed before dialing her number.

Unfortunately, the voice he heard was not exactly the one he expected, nor desired.

"Hi, it's Clare. Sorry I missed you but leave a message and I'll call you back soon."

"Hey babe, it's me. I just called to let you know that I made it to Ottawa and I'm getting settled in. I guess you're busy doing something, so call me back when you can, okay? I miss you already, Blue Eyes. I love you. Bye."

He ended the call and looked down at his phone, knowing that this was just the beginning of many I miss you's and a missed phone calls. He then put his hand around the vial of blood on his necklace and took a breath, calming himself down and trying to think positively as this situation became real. It would be difficult staying in contact, but he knew it was not impossible. It was him and Clare; they had been through worse, so they could get through this.

With this in mind, he decided that it was time to start unpacking. Before he began, he got out his iPod from his other pocket and started playing one of his playlists; he put the ear buds in his ears and got into his zone. He opened up the few crates he had surrounded by many boxes after making the decision to put away his clothes first. For twenty minutes, Eli kept his routine of putting his clothes in his closet while listening to his music. Once his closet was full, he took a moment to look out of his window.

He looked at the campus, gazing at the many buildings he would soon been entering to get his education. Now that he had said his goodbyes to the people he loved and that he was here after months of preparation, it had finally become reality. He was officially a student of the University of Ottawa, he was in a long-distance relationship with his future wife, and today was the first day of the rest of his life. He was a part of the real world, he had to fend for himself, and truly gain his independence for the first time in his life. It was strange and bothersome, but he was certain that the feeling would fade with time.

As the song on his iPod ended and another started up to bring him out of his thoughts, Eli decided that it was time to continue emptying his boxes. When he turned around, he was slightly startled to see a guy who was a head taller than him with short dark hair and matching eyes.

"Hey," Eli greeted, taking an ear bud out of his ear.

"Ah, finally!" the guy said in relief as he saw the number on the door. "I thought I was never going to find this room."

"You must be my roommate then," Eli assumed as the stranger put a duffle bag on the unoccupied bed.

"That's me. I'm Josh," he introduced, holding out his hand.

"Eli," he replied, shaking Josh's hand. "Need a hand unloading your stuff or anything?"

"Nah, I think I got it."

"Are you sure? Going up and down the elevator a million times can get frustrating so an extra pair of hands couldn't hurt," he said, speaking from experience.

"I'm sure," he assured. "Besides, I ran into a cutie downstairs and I'm hoping to run into her again."

He eagerly left the room, leaving Eli with a slightly amused smirk on his face. Leaving only one of his ear buds in just in case Josh wanted to start up conversation when he returned, Eli resumed unpacking his clothes. For the next half an hour, Josh was bringing his boxes in while Eli continued taking objects out of his. By the time Josh had moved all his boxes in, Eli had finished making up his bed with the new sheets he got before he and Clare began packing his room.

"Any luck with that girl?" Eli asked now that they were able to communicate without having one of them to leave the room consistently.

"Unfortunately, no," he sighed as he hoisted one of his boxes on his bed. "I'd tried talking to her, but I think I scared her off."

"That sucks."

"Oh well," he disregarded. "It's university; I'll have more opportunities."

Eli nodded, taking note of the optimism in his roommate's voice.

"Well, good luck."

"What about you, Eli? Gonna try picking up some chicks?"

"Nah, not my thing," he replied, going to his drawer to put away some of the clothes that wouldn't be able to go in his closet.

"Come on, man. This is our time to be young, crazy, and carefree."

"I know, but –."

"And a lot of these girls are smoking," Josh continued to persuade.

"Yeah, maybe," Eli said carelessly. "But I'm seeing someone."

"Oh . . ." Josh responded. "Does she go here too?"

"No, she's still in high school in back home."

"You guys are trying long-distance then?"

"Yep," he nodded.

"And . . . do you . . .?"

"Think it's going to work out?" Eli concluded to Josh as he closed his drawer. He looked over to Josh, who nodded as he began taking belongings out of boxes. "We're pretty sure we will; she's hoping to come here next year anyway, so one year shouldn't be too bad."

"So you are like completely committed to her?" Josh clarified.

"I guess you can say that," Eli smirked, knowing that it would probably be a matter of time before his roommate knew the whole story.

"Then . . . you won't mind if I take a shot at the next girl who comes through that door?"

"I doubt any girls will be coming through that door any time soon, but, if one does, she's all yours."

"Sweet."

Eli rolled his eyes before moving all his empty boxes to his closet.

"What're you majoring in?" he asked as he opened another box.

"Computer sciences," Josh answered. "What about you?"

"English Lit," he replied.

"You plan on being a writer or something?"

"Eventually," Eli said. "Why did you choose to major in computers?"

"I'm planning on a career in computer networking."

"Cool."

"Hi, Eli."

He turned his head and saw Cathy, the girl from the elevator, standing there in the doorway.

"Hey," he replied. "How's it going?"

"Alright," she answered. "I'm still getting settled in, but I needed a break from my roommate."

"Already?" Eli remarked.

"She and I are . . . complete opposites," Cathy admitted. She turned her attention to Josh, who was gazing at her as though she was something out of this world. "Um . . ."

"Oh, Cathy, this is my roommate Josh. Roommate Josh, this is Cathy," Eli familiarized, wishing that Josh would wipe that look off his face.

"Well, hello gorgeous," Josh said suavely, leaning against his dresser.

"H-Hi," Cathy replied timidly.

"So . . . you're on this floor too? I guess that practically makes us neighbors."

"I . . . guess," she answered slowly, glancing at Eli for help. Eli, however, had no idea how to intervene and simply shrugged.

"Cool," he grinned. "What do you say you and I go catch a movie or something and . . . get to know each other? Then maybe go out to dinner? Gaze at the stars?"

"I-I think I'll pass; I got things to do."

"Alright, but if you never need anything, I'll be in this room . . . room two fifteen."

Eli felt bad that Cathy had fallen victim to Josh's flirtations when they had hardly been introduced, especially since she had just gotten out of a relationship.

"Thanks, but I'll be fine," she disregarded. "I'll see you two later."

"See you around," Josh said as Cathy turned around and went back to her room. "I failed, didn't I?"

"Probably," Eli agreed as he unloaded the box on his bed.

"Dammit," he growled, turning back around.

"Was that your best attempt at picking up a girl?"

"I don't have that much experience," he confessed. "I only had one relationship my whole life, and that was in junior high."

"Okay, well here's some advice: some girls don't like it when you stare at them like that when you've only known them for two seconds and _then_ ask them out right after."

"I can't help it; they make me flustered."

"Just try to stay cool," he advised.

"I don't know if I can; whenever I see a girl I want to talk to, my brain stops working and my mouth goes like an engine."

"Well, then just don't stare at them or say anything stupid."

"It can't be that easy."

"It can be," Eli shrugged.

"Oh come on," he said. "You really mean to tell me that you were cool and everything when you first met your girlfriend."

"For your information, I was very composed," he informed; although he did not admit it to Josh, he actually did feel a bit flustered around Clare because he was taken aback by her splendor and the fact that his hearse crushed her glasses.

"What did you say when you first met her?"

"I told her she had pretty eyes . . . after I ran over her glasses."

"You did _what_?"

"It was an accident," Eli defended himself.

"And you guys got together just like that?"

"Oh, no," he told him, recalling everything they went through before they became a couple. "It took a good few months before we were official."

"But you guys got there eventually. How long have you guys been together anyway?"

"Two years this December," Eli said, smiling inwardly at the amount of time they had been together.

As Josh let out a low whistle and as the boys continued to unpack, Eli began thinking about his girlfriend three hundred miles away. Mentioning Clare made him start thinking of her truly for the first time since he arrived, and it was at that moment when he felt a twinge of pain in his stomach. He was far away from Clare, unable to hear her even if she screamed at the top of her lungs. He was curious to know how she would have reacted if she was here with him, witnessing all that he has witnessed thus far. Would she be amazed by the dorm? Would she like the people here? What would she have thought of Cathy and Josh? He did not know, but he could not wait to find out if Clare decided to come for a visit.

After unpacking the remains of the box that contained his and Clare's clothes, Eli opened the one that would contain some pictures. He put many of them on his dresser, but there was one that he had a special place for; he picked up his favorite picture of Clare, grinning at it since it was so perfect in his eyes. It was from when the two of them went to the lake that summer; he remembered begging to get a few pictures of her and she eventually acceded. The picture was now smiling at him, her blue eyes glistening at him while they sat on the bank. He missed her already and he wished to hear her voice, kiss her lips, and take her in his arms. He smiled at her picture before putting it on his desk.

"Is that her?" Josh asked, walking over to see the picture.

"Yeah, that's my Clare."

"Wow, she's –."

"Taken," Eli interrupted, not wanting his roommate to say something that he did not have the right to say.

"Dude, don't worry, that's not my style," Josh reassured. "Besides, I'm convinced that the woman of my dreams is somewhere on this campus."

"You really think so?"

"If I don't, I'm giving up on relationships completely."

"Good thing you have a few years here then," he attempted to encourage.

The two of them continued unpacking for another hour, talking back and forth as they did so. Since Eli had a head start, he was done setting up his side of the room before Josh; by the time he was done, the boys had learned a lot about each other since it was all they could do to pass time. They had similar tastes in music, but that was mainly because Josh had a very open mind and listened to every genre out there while Eli preferred to stay in his comfort zone. He was not much of a reader, but he did enjoy the occasional comic book from time-to-time, which Eli was happy about. He had also learned that Josh was from Kenmore, came from a family that consisted of him, his mom, stepdad, and younger stepsister, considering he lost his father at a young age.

Since both of them had lost people dear to them, Eli really felt that Josh would understand him to a certain extent. Josh never hoarded after his father's death, but he chose to stay by himself for such a long time and that contributed to him being awkward around people every so often because he never had much experience with it as he developed through childhood. Although he did not go through that, Eli could understand Josh's perspective. Knowing that he could confide some of his past in Josh since he did the same to him, he told him about Julia and how he was affected by her death for a long time and he eventually confessed that she was a reason that he and Clare did not immediately pursue a relationship.

Now that he was done settling in for now, Eli observed his side of the room; approving of where he placed everything and where he put up his posters, he kicked off his shoes and fell onto the mattress. Relieved that he could relax for a second, he gazed up at the ceiling; as he did, he wished that Clare was here so she could . . . well, just so she could be there. He knew he would miss her, but he did not expect it to happen so quickly; he actually hoped that the pain for her not being so close would not hit him for a couple of days, but that was not the case.

"Do you miss her already?" Josh asked as he continued to unpack. "Your girlfriend?"

"Yeah," he answered, amazed that he had made it that apparent. "How about you? Missing your friends and family back home?"

"I've only been away from them for a few hours," he said. "I haven't really had enough time to miss them yet."

"I wish I felt that way," Eli admitted, wondering why missing someone had to hurt this bad.

"Don't worry," Josh reassured him. "Soon you'll be too distracted by school and everything that you won't have to think about home so much."

"I guess," he shrugged, understanding what Josh was saying.

Before either of them could speak again, Eli heard the sound of a ringtone being played from his pocket. He pulled out his phone, smiling to see that Clare's name was on the caller ID.

"Speaking of my girlfriend . . ."

"Well, I'll give you a minute then . . . I'm going to see if I can hunt down that gorgeous lady and . . . beg for forgiveness."

"Good luck," Eli bade him with a chuckle before his roommate ran out the door. Once he was alone, he accepted the call. "Hey, beautiful."

"I just knew you were going to say that," he heard her laugh. "Sorry I didn't answer your first call; I was in the shower and I didn't check my phone until now."

"It's fine," he said, trying to block out the images of her in the shower.

"So you made it?"

"Yep," he answered.

"Good," she sighed in relief. "I was worried you would get lost or something."

"Morty has never gotten me lost," he informed her. "Don't worry, I made it here in one piece."

"Alright," she responded. "So what's it like?"

"All I've seen is my dorm, so I can't really say."

"Well, how's the dorm?"

"Big," he answered. "Really big."

"And are the people nice?"

"Not sure," Eli said. "I've only had the time to talk to a couple of people including my roommate."

"What's his name?"

"Josh."

"What's he like?" she asked, extremely curious as to what his life was about to become and who would be around him every day for the next year.

"He's . . . interesting."

"Adam interesting?" she inquired.

"Almost," he said honestly. "But he likes comics and Dead Hand, so that's a good thing."

"Will he mind me coming up and staying with you once in a while?"

"I don't know. I'll ask him once we know each other a bit better and after we get used to each other."

"Alright," Clare accepted with understanding. "I'm surprised you're not out exploring the campus or anything."

"I plan on doing it later; I just wanted to talk to you first and tell you that I'm here and settled in."

"You didn't have to wait for me," she said, blushing that he would stay in his room until she called.

"You're worth waiting for," Eli flirted with her, wanting to compliment her like this since he could not hold her or kiss her. She giggled at the other end, which caused him to grin a little.

"Have you met anyone else other than your roommate yet?"

"This one girl on our floor," he began.

Clare rolled her lips, keeping her guard up about this kind of situation; the memories of Kate may not have been as fresh as they used to be, but they still daunted her. Before, she had no worries with Eli being around other girls, but now it was different. Eli had told her repeatedly since he and Kate kissed so many months ago that no one would come between them again and she believed it, but that was before three hundred miles of road separated them. She still trusted Eli, but past experience proved that he was not the best at recognizing certain signals and it worried her that someone would come back in and take him away from her. But she could not bring that up now; it was his first day there and she knew that bringing up insecurities and problems this early would just lead to trouble. Plus, she knew that Eli was going to be around women for the rest of his life, so she would have to learn to cope with it eventually and this was probably the best way to do so.

"Oh yeah?" she said in attempt to sound casual.

"Yeah," he continued. "Her name's Cathy and I think Josh has a thing for her."

"Really?" she acknowledged with a grin, hoping that something could end up happening between the two of them so she would not feel this dread.

"Definitely," he answered. "But I don't think she'll date him since she and her boyfriend broke up not too long ago, so she may stay single for a while."

"It would make sense," Clare said, not caring what this girl did as long as she did not make any moves on her future husband.

"Okay, but enough about me. What has the amazing future Mrs. Clare Goldsworthy been up to today?"

"Not much," she grinned as he referred to her as that. "Just writing, reading, talking to Adam, talking to Alli, and now I'm talking to you."

"Have any plans for tonight?"

"Not sure yet," she said with honesty. "I'll probably read some more, watch a movie, or . . . maybe talk to my favorite guy before I go to bed."

"You wouldn't be talking about me, would you?" he asked with a smirk.

"What if I was?" she challenged playfully.

"Then I will call you or text you some time tonight."

"Sounds good," she consented.

"Alright," he grinned.

"Hey, Eli!" a female voice called from outside his room. He turned to see Josh and Cathy standing in the hall.

"One sec," he told Clare apologetically before leaning the mouth piece away from his mouth. "What's up?"

"We're going to go look around campus; you wanna come?" she invited.

"Uh . . ."

Eli wanted to go, but he was currently on the phone to Clare and he did not want to tell her he had to go do something else. He did want to talk to her, yet he wanted to explore this new location and get to know Josh and Cathy a bit more. However, he promised Clare before he left that she would always come first and he was not going stray away from that, especially not at the beginning of their long-distance relationship.

"You guys go on ahead," he told them. "I'll catch up later."

"Alright," Cathy shrugged before walking away.

"See ya, roomie," Josh said as he followed Cathy.

"Bye," Eli bade before continuing his conversation with his girlfriend. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay. What was that about?"

"Oh, Josh and Cathy are going to look around campus."

"Didn't you want to go with them?" she asked.

"Not while I'm talking to you."

Clare, although flattered that Eli chose to stay and talk to her other than go spend time with his new friends, could not help but felt a bit guilty. She appreciated that he was willing to stay and talk to her, but this was his first day and she did not want to hold him back from spending time with his new friends; it was that simple.

"Don't let me your ball and chain; you go with them."

"You? A ball and chain? Never."

"Still, do you honestly want to spend your first day at Ottawa sitting up here talking to me?"

"I love talking to you."

"You can talk to me later; go have some fun."

"But –."

"Elijah," she scolded. "You're finally at the university you've been wanting to go to for years; you shouldn't spend the first day locked up in your room."

He knew she was right and he honestly did want to get out of the room he had been in for the last two hours. He just did not want Clare to be hurt or affected by it.

"Don't hate me?"

"I could never hate you," she chuckled.

"I promise I'll talk to you later."

"I'll be waiting," she said, happy that she would have another chance to speak with him eventually.

"I'll talk you later, sweetheart," Eli said.

"Okay," she said. "I love you, Fluffy."

"I love you too, Piglet."

"Bye."

"Bye," he echoed before hanging up his phone. He then pocketed his phone, got off his bed, and bolted out of the room, closing the door behind him.

()()

For the rest of the day, Eli walked around campus with Josh and Cathy. They started becoming familiar with the area, but they still felt a sense of accomplishment when they were able to relocate their dorm. Even though they only spent a few hours together, Eli found them to be funny, interesting people; he was not sure if he would develop a strong friendship with them yet, but he knew that time would tell.

The three of them ate dinner in the dining hall before going back to their floor. Over dinner, his new friends had asked him how long he and Clare have been together and, eventually, he ended up telling them how they were getting married in a bit less than six years. They were surprised, considering the odds were against the couple, but were also amazed that they two were serious enough to take the chance.

Once they were back on their floor, Josh and Eli said goodnight to Cathy before she went back to her dorm and the two boys went back to their room. After talking again for another hour, Eli decided that he needed to get to sleep; Josh then left the room to look around the residence.

Alone, Eli took off the vial of blood Clare had given him before laying it safely in the second drawer of his dresser, which contained all the clothes that belonged to Clare that they kept in his room over the summer. He grinned at the clothes and vial, their presence making him believe that maybe Clare was not so far away after all.

Exhausted from a long day of loading his hearse, painful goodbyes, heaving boxes to his room, meeting new people, unpacking, and settling in, Eli lied down on his bed. He had already changed into an old shirt and a pair of sweatpants and was resting against his mattress. His eyes were drooping, which he found difficult to believe since it was only ten thirty. As much as he missed Clare and although he desperately wished to talk to her, he did not think he would be able to stay awake long enough to speak to her for more than ten minutes.

Feeling guilt-ridden for bailing on her again on the first day, he reached for his phone and began typing a text message to her.

_Remember when you said you could never hate me?_

He sat lied there, waiting for her reply. Despite the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach that was caused by regret, he had a feeling that she would not have a problem with it. This was Clare, after all; she was reasonable and understanding person. Seconds later, he heard his message alert go off; hoping that he did not hurt his girlfriend in any way, Eli looked at the text she sent him.

_Too tired to talk tonight?_

Eli could not hold back his smirk, astonished that she was able to figure that out from one text.

_I'm really, really, really sorry._

_It's okay. _

_Can I make it up to you with a Skype date tomorrow?_

_I'd like that :)_

_Great :D I am really sorry._

_Relax. You get some rest and text me when you have time to Skype_

Eli sighed in relief, pleased that Clare comprehended the situation.

_Okay. I promise that this won't become a constant thing_

_Don't worry :)_

_You're the best. I miss you_

_I miss you too baby_

Feeling that she was having sore feelings about this situation, Eli experienced a greater sweep of appeasement when the texted the word "baby". She only called him that when she was in a good mood or when she was trying to comfort him; he did not need much comfort right now, thus she must not be upset at this point in time.

_Goodnight. I love you SO much. Sweet dreams xxx_

_I love you too xxx_

Wishing that he could have given her a real goodnight kiss, Eli reached over his head and put his phone on his dresser. He had only been away from Clare for fourteen hours and he was already missing her so much that it hurt; if this was how it felt like on the first day, he could not even begin to fathom how it would feel after a whole week, let alone a month. He could not predict whether this feeling would intensify or if he would grow accustom to it, but he was certain that he would find out during his days at the University of Ottawa.

* * *

"_You gotta play the cards you got_

_Who knows what fate is holding_

_At times you gotta go without knowing where you're going"_

_~"I Keep On Loving You" by Reba McEntire_

* * *

Once again, my sister's love of country music helped me find a song for this chapter.

Huge thanks to mur xo for the help she gave to this chapter. You people should seriously read her work!

So much planned, my friends. SOOOO much planned! MWHAHAHAHAHA! Review please.


	109. Long Distance Lullaby

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you all for your amazing reviews. Thank you ForeverInYourArms, Moxxy, J.A.L.L, CubicleOfThoughts, Crissychan350, Degrassian-Love, LindseyGoldsworthy, TonksLupinLiveOn1234, sushi.23, Eclarexoxo, mur xo, MadameDegrassi4587, DegrassiAwesomeness, degrassieclare23, Tisha0691, Silverstar of ThunderClan, Cupcakes11, and BlackRabbit550 for the reviews. Thank you to Carissa35350 for the support on twitter. Super special thanks to J.A.L.L for her assistance. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Hear thee! Hear thee! I do not own Degrassi!

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Nine

Long Distance Lullaby

To his surprise, Eli woke up earlier than he expected the next morning; according to the alarm clock on his dresser, it was only eight thirty. Waking up in his room at Ottawa was strange for him at first, but he eventually shook off the feeling and sat up. He turned his head to the right and saw Josh sprawled out in his bed, snoring. Eli chuckled softly before standing up and stretching.

Within the first twenty minutes of his day, Eli took a shower in men's washroom on their floor and became familiar with the locations of the vending machines and laundry room. None of his fellow freshmen were in the halls that morning; they must have had a long night settling in or they were just not up and about like he was and chose to reside in their rooms. He did run into a couple of people and he recognized a few faces since they lived on the same floor, but they did not speak to each other.

He returned to his room, careful not to wake a still sleeping Josh in the process. Before doing anything else, he went to the second drawer of his dresser and took out the vial of blood. He pulled the necklace over his head and the vial rested against his sternum. Seeing and feeling it, he remembered that Clare was not a short walk away. He held the vial as he moved over to his desk. He sat down and looked at the picture he had of Clare, wondering how she was and what she was doing at this very moment. She must have been asleep or she had just woken up; she would not be working today, so she could be spending her day reading, writing, or spending time with Alli.

Curious if anything had been going on with her during the last twenty-four hours, Eli opened his laptop and when straight onto his Facerange profile. He did not have any notifications, but he saw that two people had sent him friend requests; he smirked as he agreed for Cathy and Josh to be friends on Facerange. Once that was over and once he looked over their profiles for a second, he went on to Clare's page.

She had changed her profile picture since he left and he grinned at it; the image was of the two of them in his room, lying on his bed and smiling at the camera. Eli remembered that this picture was taken on the same day they went to the lake and he was able to get pictures of her before they went into the water. He desperately wanted to be in that moment with her again, but that was impossible and he would just have to accept that and move on.

He averted his eyes from the picture and looked at her recent statuses. It seemed that she had only posted a single status within the last few days and it seemed that she had posted it two hours after he left Toronto. Seeing it made his heart break, especially since he could relate to the words she had posted.

_Eli left for Ottawa today. I hope he gets there okay. I miss him already :(_

Wishing that he could hold her again or give her better form of comfort than the one he was about to give, he began typing a comment below her status.

_I miss you too. It's only been one day, but I can't wait to get home and see my favorite girl. I love you_

He wanted to say more, but there was only so much he could do while he was here and she was in her room in Toronto. Eli leaned back in his seat and looked at the ceiling, trying to come to terms with the fact that they were waking up next to each other two days ago and now they were waking up in different beds in different cities living different lifestyles.

Eli was slightly startled when he heard the door open; he snapped his head in the direction of the door and saw Cathy looking inside the room.

"Hi," Eli greeted slowly in a soft voice so he would not wake Josh.

"Hey," she replied. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Eli shrugged.

Cathy stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. She leaned against the door and sighed, her long ginger hair covering her shoulders.

"What's up with you?" he asked, noticing that she seemed quite annoyed.

"My roommate snores like a broken lawn mower and I couldn't get back to sleep," she explained simply. "I figured I'd come and see if anyone else was awake."

"Well, it's just me," Eli said.

Cathy then turned her head to Eli's side of the room; taking notice of the pictures on the dresser, she took a step towards it and gazed at them.

"Is this Clare?" she asked him, remembering that this was his girlfriend's name.

"Yeah," he answered, seeing that she was looking at a picture of the two of them from the carnival last summer.

"She's pretty."

"Yeah, she is," Eli agreed, looking at the picture of her on his desk.

"She's coming here next year then?" she inquired as she sat on the edge of his unmade bed. Eli twirled his chair towards his bed so he could see her.

"I'm hoping she does; it depends if she gets accepted, if she still wants to come here, and if she doesn't get tired of me."

"Come on," Cathy said. "If she loves you as much as you say she does, you have nothing to worry about."

"I know, but being apart for a year could change things."

"Don't be such a pessimist."

"Things could change," he restated, knowing that this factor would be unavoidable.

Cathy groaned, seeing that she would have to try to cheer her new friend up with a different method.

"Okay, have you two ever broken up?"

"Yes," he answered, his insides turning cold at the memories.

"How many times?"

"Once and a half."

"And a half?" she echoed.

"You see, this girl came between us and it caused issues and we were not exactly together for a while."

"Oh," Cathy comprehended. "Okay, and when you weren't with her during those times, how bad was it for you?"

"It was hell," he put bluntly.

"And how was it for her?"

"Just as bad, I think," he answered; he recalled her telling him how hard it was to be apart from him when they took their hiatus because of Kate and when they broke up completely after she gave back her promise ring.

"So which one do you think she would rather go through: being apart from you but still being a couple, or being apart from you and dealing with the pain of a breakup?"

Eli thought back to the times they were apart and how much pain they felt and how hard it was for them to cope with no longer being together. He could not speak for Clare specifically, considering she was her own person who had the right to her own thoughts; however, he did understand what she went through at that time, so he believed he had a fair idea as to what she would rather do.

"She would probably rather go through with long-distance."

"There you go," Cathy concluded with a grin. "Think logically."

Once again, she was correct. He knew how Clare worked, therefore he was certain that she would keep her word and not break up with him or anything of that nature while they had so much going for them and after they made all these promises. He grinned slightly, feeling much better about the situation at hand. He turned to Cathy, but for a second, he did not see her; instead, he saw another friend he greatly missed.

"You know, you remind a lot of my friend Adam," he informed her as he stood up from his chair.

"Wise and practical?" she assumed, mirroring him.

"Precisely," Eli answered. "So do you want to go get some breakfast in the dining hall or something?"

"Are you crazy? There's a Starbucks on campus and I need a caramel macchiato ASAP."

"That works," he nodded. "Let's go."

"Alright," she said, walking towards the door. They were almost there when a loud snore caught them off-guard; the two of them turned their heads to see Josh, still fast asleep.

"We should probably take him with us," Eli said. "He'd probably kill me if he finds out I hung out with you without him."

Cathy rolled her eyes and sighed.

"I got this," she volunteered before walking over to Josh's bed. She stood over Josh and stripped the blanket off of him; he subconsciously curled into a ball, the cooler air reaching his arms and legs. Eli snickered, waiting patiently to see if his roommate would awake. Once it was clear that he was still sleeping, Cathy began shaking Josh's shoulder. "Wake up, Josh!"

He stirred before waking to see Cathy and Eli watching him. Alarmed, he grabbed his blanket and covered his body, considering he was only wearing a gray wife beater and boxers.

"What are you doing here?"

"I go to school here," she said smugly. "Get up, we're going to Starbucks."

"You let her in, didn't you?" he accused of his roommate.

Eli shrugged, smiling at the scene. He may have missed Clare and Toronto, but living in Ottawa would probably not be so bad once he learned to cope with the absence of his future wife.

()()

At one o'clock, Clare was lying on top of her bed, gazing at the ceiling for no reason whatsoever. For the first time since summer started, she had practically nothing to do. She either always spent time with Eli, Adam, or Alli, worked at the Dot, or helped Randall and Alyson with their wedding. Today, however, Eli and Adam were at university, Alli was at a family dinner, it was not a work day, and Randall and Alyson were taking care of some details and they did not need her help. She would have spent time with Helen, but she had to go to her job to take care of something. It was official: she was alone and she had nothing to do at all.

It had been so long since had so much free time that she did not know what to do with herself. She then made the conclusion to spend some time reading, considering she did not have anything else to do. She was reached for the book she was reading last night when her phone began ringing. She grabbed her phone and saw Adam's name on the caller ID. Smiling that she would talk to both of her favorite guys today, she answered the phone.

"Hey," she greeted cheerfully.

"Hey," Adam replied.

"How are you? I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever."

"I know," he acceded. "I'm sorry I haven't called you in a few days; I've been busy settling in and everything."

"It's okay," she ensured him. "So, have you made any new friends?"

"A few," he answered. "I'm hoping that I'll meet some more when classes start next week."

"Sounds good," Clare said, pleased that Adam had been happy this past week at Trent University.

"Do you still miss me?"

"Adam, Toronto is not the same without you," she told him honestly. Ever since Adam left, the town seemed darker and it felt that a piece of it was missing.

"Aw, I miss you too, Clare," he replied. "So, have you heard from your man since he left for Ottawa?"

"Yeah, I talked to him for a few minutes yesterday and we're going to Skype today. What about you?"

"I called him when he got there. He seems to be settling in well."

"He is," she said, wondering what he could have been doing right now.

"Are you okay? You sound a bit sad."

"I'm just lonely without you guys, that's all."

"I'm sorry," he sympathized. "At least with us gone, you can spend more time with Alli."

"True," she said, seeing that the boys getting their education and her spending more time with her best friend could be the best parts of this situation. "But I'm going to miss spending time with the guys."

"Don't worry, we'll all hang out soon," he comforted her.

"Are we still going to try getting together once a month or so?"

"I'm hoping; we just have to find a way for all our schedules to fit and stuff."

"Well, odds are I won't have any plans for a while until my dad's wedding comes around in October, so you let me know when you come home, we'll get Eli down here, and then we'll all hang out."

"Sounds like a plan," Adam agreed. "Listen, I'm sorry, but I need to get going."

"Okay," Clare said, crestfallen that she would once again be all alone in her room with no one to spend time with. "Call me soon, okay?"

"I will," he promised. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye," she replied before hanging up her phone.

She put the device to the side before lying down on her bed and looking up at the ceiling. Her heart was broken that two people she loved were so far out of reach and that they were unsure of when they would see each other again. She took a deep breath as two tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes and down her skin.

She did not want to just lie on her bed and continue to feel sorry for herself, but she was too disheartened to even try shaking off the pain. She knew that she did not take her time with Adam and Eli for granted, but she was beginning to wish that she did more with them while they were here.

Before she could go any deeper into her thoughts, she heard the message alert go off on her phone. Wondering who would be texting her, she reached over to her nightstand to pick up the phone again to see who sent her the text. A grin tugged on her lips when she saw that Eli's had just sent a message; wanting to know what he said, she eagerly opened the text and read it.

_Good afternoon beautiful_

She smiled, pleased that she would be conversing with someone and it was because that it was with Eli that she was extra happy.

_Hey there sexy_

Seconds later, she heard the alert go off again.

_You're the sexy one ;)_, his text read this time.

Her face turned red, which she found astonishing; even when he was miles and miles and miles away he was still able to flatter her.

_You're so sweet. What's up?_

_If you're not busy tonight, would you still like to join me on Skype?_

Clare's grin grew into a wide smile at his invitation. Talking over webcam may not have been the same as him being there with her in person, but it was better than nothing. She was pleased that she could see him living in the moment as opposed to merely staring at a picture from a past event. Not being able to maintain her excitement, she began typing her reply.

_I'd be crazy to say no. What time?_

She watched her phone carefully for the next minute, prepared to open his response the second it was sent to her phone. After waiting impatiently for nearly sixty seconds, Eli had sent her another text and she opened it hastily.

_Does six o'clock work?_

_Perfect :D I can't wait_

Eli smiled at Clare's reply before replying with _You have no idea how happy you just made me _and then putting his phone to the side until she texted him back.

He had a few things to take care of today, so he figured that by the time he was done, he would be able to relax and talk to his girlfriend and see her face. He, Josh, and Cathy had just got done walking around campus with their schedules as they tried to figure out where they could find their classrooms so they were not running all over the place on the first day of class. He was currently sitting in a booth in a restaurant on campus while Josh and Cathy got their orders; he decided to take advantage of this time to text Clare and plan their first webcam chat.

"Someone looks happy," Josh observed as he enjoyed his burger.

"I am," Eli responded. "I get to Skype with Clare tonight."

"Aw, Skype with the girlfriend," Cathy gushed. "That's so sweet."

Eli grinned, excited for six o'clock to come; after not being able to see her for a whole day, he was pleased that they would be talking face-to-face to a certain extent.

"I just hope it doesn't take too long to apply for a job so I don't show up late."

"Don't worry," she eased. "You got plenty of time."

It was only a quarter after one, so he was certain that he would be able to find a job, he just did not know if would have to start tonight and end up missing Clare on Skype. He was planning at working at a movie theater off campus, but it that would all depend if the people down there accept his application. Josh and Cathy were also looking for work, but Josh decided that he was going to find a job at convenience store down the road and Cathy was going to go searching for a temporary position at the very restaurant they were eating at right now. She actually was filling out her application while they had lunch.

"You know what, I don't think I've seen you smile this much," Josh pointed out.

"I guess my girlfriend makes me happy," Eli shrugged, still smiling about talking to Clare later.

"Is she ever going to come visit you here?" Cathy asked as she continued writing on her application.

"I hope so," he answered after eating a bit more of his burger. "That is if Josh doesn't mind her staying in our room with us."

"It's cool with me," Josh said. "Just don't have sex when I'm around and we'll be good."

"You won't need to worry about that," Eli assured.

Before the conversation could continue, Eli's phone went off again and he noticed his new text from Clare.

_I can relate. What are you up to right now?_

_Having lunch with Josh and Cathy. What about you?_

_Nothing. I guess I should stop texting you now and let you get back to them_

Eli frowned at this text; he understood why she would think that, but he did not want to make her feel unimportant by ending their texts here.

"Uh-oh, now he looks sad," Josh muttered to Cathy.

"I can hear you," Eli informed him before answering Clare's text.

_It's fine. They know how much I miss you so I don't think they mind_

_I don't know. Besides if we keep texting we won't have anything to talk about tonight ;)_

Seeing the logic in this but still not wanting to stop communicating with her, Eli sent another message to her.

_I hate to admit it, but you have a good point :(_

_Turn that frown upside down, Goldsworthy. You'll be seeing me tonight :)_

"He's smiling again," Josh declared as he noticed Eli's face transform.

"Shhh," Cathy hissed at him. "Can't you see that the guy is texting his girlfriend?"

"Right, sorry," he apologized before eating more of his burger just so his mouth was preoccupied.

Eli just kept smiling at the message he had received along with Cathy and Josh's commentary as he began pressing the buttons on his phone.

_Consider it turned :) See?_

_Ha-ha. I miss you._

_I miss you too. Thankfully, I'll be able to see your gorgeous face tonight :)_

_Stop making me blush!_

_Never!_

_Lol. I'll talk to you tonight. Enjoy your lunch. Love you babe xxx_

_Love you too sweetheart xxx_

()()

Hours later, Eli was going up the elevator to his floor. After lunch he went straight to the movie theater a couple of miles away from the university to apply for a job; he hoped that within a few days he would get an interview and then he would eventually become an employee. He then called CeCe and Bullfrog to see how they were doing; his mother was less upset than she was yesterday, but she and Bullfrog were missing him a lot. According to Bullfrog, the house seemed too quiet and it was kind of sad for them to know that they would not be intruding on him and Clare anymore; in an odd way, Eli was also starting to miss those interruptions, considering there is nothing to interrupt now.

He spent the last few hours walking around campus again. Cathy and Josh did not come with him, mainly because he wanted some time to himself. He enjoyed spending time with them, but had not had a second to himself since he came here and he really just wanted to walk around and take in more of his surroundings.

By the time five fifty came around, however, he was back at the dorm and was currently traveling to the third floor so he would be back in his room in time to log on to Skype and talk to his wife-to-be. When the elevator door opened, he could not hold back his excitement and walked as fast as he could to get to his room. Seconds later, he was opening up the door to see that the room was completely deserted. He was not surprised, considering Josh texted him earlier to tell him that he and Cathy would be hanging out in her room to allow Eli to Skype with Clare in private.

He moved to his desk, opened his laptop, and logged on to Skype with eight minutes to spare. He smiled enthusiastically when he saw that Clare was also online; needing to see her face, he quickly requested to chat through webcam and waited with minimal patience for her to answer. Seconds later, he was looking directly at the face he had been deprived of seeing for over a day. His smile grew wider as he saw that she was smiling right back at him.

"Hey," she waved at him the second she saw him.

"Hello there, Miss Edwards," he replied with a grin; she was sitting at her desk while wearing a blue spaghetti strap shirt while she smiled. He was also pleased to see that his necklace was still dangling around her neck.

"How was your first full day at Ottawa?" she asked, wishing that she could say something more interesting.

"Pretty good," he told her. "How's Toronto?"

"Well . . . it's actually a bit lonely now that you aren't around," she admitted.

"Really?" he said, a pit forming in his stomach.

"Yeah, but I'll be okay," she reassured him.

"Are you sure? Because, remember, I can still come home whenever you want me to."

"I'm just getting used to you and Adam being gone," she eased him. "Don't worry."

"Alright," he accepted reluctantly.

"So what have you been doing up there?" she asked him. She was really curious to know what he was up to, considering this was the first time since he arrived that they were able to have a conversation that would last more than ten minutes.

"Well, we got everything settled yesterday, today we familiarized ourselves with the campus, and I applied for a job."

"Really? Where?"

"At this movie theater a couple of miles away," he informed her. "And the good news is that they are very flexible with their college employees, so I'll still be able to come home on most weekends."

"That's great," she smiled.

"And my plan is that I'm putting some of my paycheck in the bank, some towards fees I have to pay here, gas for Morty, some other things, and whatever I have left over will go towards your engagement ring."

Clare broadened her smile, his words touching her heart.

"I can't wait until I'm out of university so we can get married."

"Me too," he said. "But, until then, I'm perfectly happy being your boyfriend."

"And I'm happy being your girlfriend. I can't wait until our first long-distance date."

"Speaking of which, where do you want to go for it?"

"Um . . . I don't know . . . are there any parks or anything around Ottawa?"

"There's actually a few of them around campus," Eli answered her.

"So . . . should we just Skype each other while I go to the park here and you go to one there?"

"Sounds like a plan," he approved.

"I'm looking forward to it," she smiled. "So, are you adjusting to having a roommate?"

"I'm getting there. Want me to give you the grand tour of the Goldsworthy Suite since the Hotel Eli is now closed?"

"The Goldsworthy Suite?" she repeated with a grin.

"I was thinking about naming it the Hotel Eli two-point-oh, but I thought the Goldsworthy Suite was more appropriate."

"Okay, then yes, I would love a tour," she agreed.

"Alright, let's get it started. Please keep your hands and feet inside the computer at all times," he said, picking up his laptop and standing up and walking towards the middle of the room. "First off, we have my side, which I tried to make as homey as possible."

"I see you've put up your Dead Hand posters," she noticed.

"Of course," he replied before turning around. "Now Josh's side."

Josh's wall was covered in posters of hockey teams and indie bands and his bed was unmade, unlike Eli's.

"Alright," Clare said as Eli turned back around towards the front of his side of the room.

"Here, we have the photo gallery," he presented her as she saw all the pictures she helped him pack. "And . . ."

He carefully balanced his laptop in one hand as he quickly pulled open the second drawer to show her that all her clothes were there.

"They're here waiting for you."

"Thank you," she said to him, pleased that he sacrificed a part of his limited space for her.

"Anything for you," he told her as he closed the drawer.

He then allowed her to see the rest of his side a bit better before taking her to the window.

"Wow, you get an amazing view of university up here," Clare surveyed.

"It's really nice to look at when it's dark outside," he informed her, imagining them gazing out this window with his arms around his waist. "I hope you enjoyed our tour, please gather all your belongings and exit to your left."

Clare chuckled as Eli carefully set his laptop back on his desk.

"It looks great, Eli. Hopefully I'll actually see it for real soon."

"That reminds me; Josh said that he would not mind you staying with us as long as we don't have sex while he's around."

"Good thing he doesn't have to worry about that," she said, smiling that she could stay with Eli in his dorm.

"Yeah, and hopefully he won't walk in on us like Adam and our parents do."

Clare agreed before they turned the conversation down a different road. They began talking about the classes Eli would be having that semester, possible clubs and organizations he might join, and how she was working on a new story.

"When did you start working on it?" he asked her, loving every time she wrote something new; her work was always enjoyable and original, therefore she was still one of his favorite writers even though she was unpublished.

"After you left," she answered. "I just got this idea and went with it."

"That's great. Can I read it when you're done?"

"Uh . . . I don't know."

"Why not? Is it racy?" he teased playfully.

"No," she chuckled. "It's just . . . you're going to be busy and I don't want you to get behind on stuff because of my story."

"I'm never too busy to read one of my favorite writers," he said to her, his crooked grin on his face. Clare grinned coyly, trying to keep the blood from rushing to her face at the wonderful compliment Eli had given her.

"How about I finish it up first and then we'll see?" she suggested.

"Deal," he accepted.

"Alright," she smiled, pleased that she would not be distracting Eli from his work anytime soon.

"Damn, you're beautiful," he affirmed, not being able to keep it in much longer after seeing her gorgeous smile.

Clare sucked on her bottom lip, her face changing from pale to pink.

"I miss that blush."

"Eli," she giggled; for reasons she could not explain, his words still had an effect on her even though they were merely talking over webcam.

"Sorry, I'm just speaking the truth."

"Well, I miss your lips."

He smirked at her, having an idea on how she was feeling; he wanted nothing more than to kiss those pink lips. He then brought the vial of blood up to his lips, gently kissing it before cradling it in his hand; Clare mimicked the action by kissing the guitar pick on his necklace.

"I miss you," he told her.

"I miss you too," she reciprocated.

Eli grinned at her as he wished to kiss her right now; he wanted to kiss her cheeks, her lips, her neck, her head . . . he just desperately desired to put his lips on her skin and kiss it until she told him to stop.

They looked at each other through their webcams in silence, both of them feeling the same twinges of longing. Since she was alone with no one to talk to, it had hit Clare a bit harder than Eli; it was becoming a lot to take in and seeing his face now made her heart break since they could not do anything more than talk. She sighed, trying to keep her composure and not show signs of pain.

"Are you alright?" Eli asked, furrowing his brow.

"Yeah," she fibbed. "I'm just still adjusting to you being gone."

At those words, Eli wanted to reach through cyberspace to take Clare's hand; he knew how safe and at peace she felt whenever he held her hand or when he wrapped his arms around her body. He felt useless for being unable to touch her, kiss her, nothing more than speak. He searched his mind and heart to find the words to say, but he could not and it was murder.

"I wish there was something I could say," he said, surrendering to his loss for words.

"There's nothing you can say," she apprised. "It's just going to take me time."

"Will it help at all if I sent you two texts a day that to tell you I love you?" he asked, the phrase two is better than one coming to his mind.

"It might," she confessed, simpering at his proposal.

"Alright, then expect one in the morning and one at night."

"Thank you," is what she wanted to say, but instead she came out with the words, "I love you."

"I love you too."

For the next hour, their feelings harbored but they did not want to spend their first night Skyping being sorrowful, so they simply talked about Adam, Alli, their families, Randall's wedding, and Clare's story. After they realized that they had talked for two hours, they both figured that it was time for them to stop and do this again another day.

"I'll try to call you tomorrow when I get home from a church fundraiser, okay?" she told him.

"Alright, and I'll send you a certain text tomorrow," he smirked.

Clare grinned at him, knowing which text he was referring to.

"And I'll send you a reply," she hinted.

"Great," he grinned. "I'll talk to you tomorrow then."

"Okay," she accepted.

"Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

As Clare ended the conversation and closed her laptop. The tears she had been holding back for the past two hours finally made their appearance and began sliding down her face. She knew it would not do any good to try and clear them, so she just let them flow silently. She clutched the front of Eli's necklace in her hand, praying to God that she would soon get used to the love of her life being out of her reach.

* * *

"_I miss your voice _

_I miss your smile_

_I wish I could give you a kiss from a thousand miles"_

_~"Long Distance Lullaby" by Martina McBride_

* * *

Degrassi is starting up again Monday! STOKED! So, reviews?


	110. From Where  You Are

**ECLARE FANFOREVER BABY!**

DEGRASSI IS BACK! I won't say what happened, just in case people haven't seen it yet.

Thank you all for your reviews! Alright, thanks to J.A.L.L's help and some good old research, I think I got the basic grasp on college life, so I'm hoping I won't be far off. Thank you also to Moxxy for giving me some feedback. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . but I know what's happening on the show and I'm fangirling all the time because of it!

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Ten

From Where You Are

_First day of class tomorrow. I'll call you when I can. I love you and miss you xxx_

Clare had been staring at that message ever since she got home that Sunday night. The church fundraiser she went to lasted longer than she expected, and then she, Randall, and another family from their church went to dinner together. By the time she got home, it was ten o'clock at night and noticed that Eli sent this text two hours ago. As happy as she was that he sent her this, she promised on Skype last night that she would call him and she felt like she let him down since she never did.

_I'm really sorry I didn't call you. I didn't get home until now. Good luck with your first day of class. I miss you so much. I love you xxx_

Clare had half a mind to ask him if he was still awake and if she could call him, but decided not to. She was tired and did not really feel like talking for long; she also knew that he was probably be spending time with Josh or Cathy or any other friends he could have made; he could have also been sleeping and he probably would not appreciate her waking him up on the night before his first official day as a college student. Deciding to get rid of the temptation, she put her phone on her desk before getting changed into her pajamas and sliding into her bed.

Over the years, Clare has noticed a pattern when she wished to sleep: she would be tired for a few hours and then she would get ready for bed; by the time she was wrapped up in her blankets, however, she found herself unable to keep her eyes closed. She lied on her side and stared at the empty space on her bed. It must have been three times that Eli had spent the night with her in this room; she remembered how he held her after they made love for the first time, the first day she was out of the hospital, and the night before she had to testify in court. She could practically feel his arms and the warmth they gave her.

Clare wanted Eli here with her, his arms around her, his voice in her ear, and his lips on her skin. Even if it was just for a minute, she wanted all of it. She could not get to sleep and she desperately wished she could so this feeling could stop. She grabbed the necklace that was still around her neck and held it; ever since Eli had given it to her, she's hardly taken it off and it gave her comfort. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and trying to lose herself in sleep.

After hours of tossing and turning, Clare was finally able to doze off. When she awoke the next morning, however, she did not feel like she had slept for long. Seeing that it was only seven o'clock, she tried to get back to sleep but was unsuccessful. She surrendered to her inability to sleep again and got out of bed to begin her day. Once she was showered and dressed, she was sitting at her desk typing the story she started telling Eli about last night.

By the time nine thirty came around, she was rereading the section she had been working on when she noticed that someone was trying to call her through Skype. She hoped that the person trying to contact her was Eli, for she did not want to speak anyone else. To her relief, she saw Eli was calling her and she was soon looking straight at his face.

"Good morning," she greeted him.

"It is now," he flirted. She rolled her eyes before smiling at his slightly tired face.

"Ready for your first day of classes?"

"I would be if I was able to get to sleep last night," he answered, rubbing his eyes. "I was up until midnight trying to get everything together, then Josh's snoring kept me awake until three."

As she heard that Eli was up until midnight, Clare could not help but wonder if she had gotten her text and, if he did, why he did not reply. And, if he was unable to sleep, why wouldn't he have taken that time to contact her? She just did not understand it, but this was not the time to fuss over it; he had class today and he did not need the stress.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked, trying to keep all the pain possible out of her voice.

"Yeah, I just need to get a cup of coffee or something then I'll be set to go. Thankfully, my class is only a five minute walk from my dorm and it doesn't start until ten, so I can talk to you for a few minutes."

She grinned that he was being so considerate, but the small bit of pain she felt about him not texting her back still stung a bit.

"Are you alright?" Eli asked.

"Yeah," she said, not telling the complete truth. "So, what's your first class?"

"European History," he answered. "Now, while I'm off doing college work and whatnot, how do you plan to spend your final week of summer?"

"Basically writing and then I'll be going to work later," she shrugged. "Speaking of which, do you know if you got the job at the movie theater yet?"

"Yes," he said.

"And . . .?"

"I got it," he smiled.

"That's great, Eli," she grinned.

"The only downside is that I'll sometimes have to work weekends."

"Oh," Clare said, knowing that this could result with him having fewer visits than they expected.

"But I should only have to work in the afternoons on Saturday and it's closed on Sunday, so maybe we could figure something out."

"I hope so," Clare agreed. "If not, I can just come visit you while you work and I can watch movies all day."

"Then maybe during my breaks I can sneak in and make out with you in the back row," he suggested.

Clare chuckled, very intrigued by the sound of his motives; he never failed to make her feel better when she needed it.

"Um . . . I know you've only been gone for a couple of days already, but do you know when you are coming back to visit?" she asked, hoping that she was not pressuring him to come back to Toronto.

"I don't know yet, but I'll let you know the second I find out," he told her.

"Please do," she said, wishing that the pain of him being so far would stop torturing her.

"I will," he restated. "So, I don't have any classes at noon; do you want me to call you then?"

The small flame of happiness that existed in Clare just moments ago went out instantly as she prepared to decline Eli's invitation.

"I wish you could, but Dad and I are going to lunch with Alyson."

"Okay," Eli said, trying to hide his disappointment. "Then . . . can we text, call, or Skype later after you get off work?"

"If I'm not _completely_ exhausted and I still have what's left of my sanity, then yes," she replied.

"Alright," he grinned, a bit of joy and hope forming inside him. "Hopefully I'll talk to you tonight."

"Hopefully," she nodded.

"That reminds me."

Eli then pulled his phone out of pocket and began composing a message.

"What are you doing?" Clare asked.

"You'll see," he answered, his eyes focused on the screen.

Seconds later, he put his phone to the side. As he did, Clare heard her message alert go off next to her. She picked it up, opened the text, and smiled.

_Although it's not the same as being right next to you, I love Skyping with you. Even though I'm talking to you now, I still wanted to send you these words: I love you_

Her sadness faded, but her expression did not; she continued grinning as she looked up at Eli, who was smirking at her as his green eyes glistened. Deciding to return the favor, Clare typed her reply before sending it to Eli.

_You are the sweetest. I can't wait until I see you again. I love you too_

After a very short wait, he received her message and she saw his smirk grow into a smile. He turned to her again, both of them grinning at each other.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too," Clare replied. "I promise that I'll try to text you or something tonight; I want to hear all about your first day."

"Okay, but if I don't go now, there probably won't be a first day to hear about," he said hurriedly, noticing that he had only ten minutes before his class started.

"Well, then I guess I'll talk to you later."

"You will," he said.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Bye," he bade before ending the conversation.

Clare then found herself staring at the screen, already wishing that she was still talking to Eli. They had been talking for ten minutes, but it felt like so much less to her. She sat there, wishing that she would adapt to this lifestyle faster so she would stop feeling ache every time she stopped talking to Eli.

She thought that the day would get better as the day went on and that she would eventually shake off Eli's absence and move on with her life. Unfortunately, Eli and her loneliness took over her, causing her to feel low and miserable. Even while she, Randall, and Alyson sat in Little Miss Steaks that afternoon, her mind kept drifting away. She wondered if Eli was thinking about her right now just like how she was thinking about him. She doubted this, considering he was probably spending time with some of his new friends right now.

She slowly ate the food in front of her, only half listening to the conversation Alyson and Randall were having; she spoke up in agreement every so often just so they would not accuse her of not listening and she was not in the mood to deal with criticisms. They were talking about the wedding, which did not really brighten Clare's mood. She accepted that Randall was happy with Alyson and she tolerated their relationship now; what was getting under her skin was that the couple was together in this moment while the love of her life was in Ottawa.

"So, Clare, one more week until your senior year," Alyson said. "Are you excited?"

"I guess," she shrugged.

"Well, you let this one count," her soon-to-be stepmother advised. "It's your final year of high school, so remember to work hard and to have fun at the same time."

"I will," Clare said, seeing that getting back to Degrassi would also give her an opportunity to keep her distracted from this long-distance relationship.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Randall then asked. "You've been acting strange all day."

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said untruthfully.

She looked down at her food and continued eating, hoping for one of the adults to change the conversation. If the subject of conversation remained on her, she predicted that they would eventually see why she was unhappy and then Alyson would start telling her how this relationship was not going to last. To her dismay, when Randall opened his mouth, it was not to change the subject or to take a bite out of his lunch.

"Are you missing Eli?"

Clare rolled her lips, determined not to let Alyson see her hurt. Once she let that out, she knew that the lunch would consist of nothing but her advising Clare to reconsider this entire ordeal by telling her that he was not worth the struggle. She could not be more wrong in Clare's opinion; he was worth it, even if she was having a hard time getting used to him being gone.

"I am, but I'm fine."

"Is he getting used to Ottawa?" Alyson asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "His first day of class was today, so I should know by tonight if he's doing okay."

"I'm sure he's doing great," Randall said, hoping for the best for his future son-in-law.

"Has he made any new friends?"

"A couple," Clare told her, slightly jealous of the people who were able to see and spend time with her boyfriend. They were quiet for a moment and Clare figured that this would be the end of the conversation, but . . .

"Is he still planning on coming to the wedding?" Alyson asked her, knowing that she was hoping to bring Eli.

"Yeah," Clare said, not wanting to think about the wedding, Eli, or both at the same time.

"That's good. Now, is he still majoring in English, or –?"

"Alyson," Clare interrupted. "I'm sorry, but can we please not talk about Eli right now."

"Now, Clare, you should –."

"Honey," Randall spoke up, turning to Alyson. He gave her a look that told her to let it go for today and she nodded. They did not speak about Eli again, much to Clare's relief; she may have still thought about him, but she was pleased that she did not have to talk about how far away he was anymore. She was in such relief that she did not even bother to care that Randall just called Alyson "honey".

"Clare, are you sure you're okay?" Randall asked as they drove home from the restaurant half an hour later.

She nodded, but only because she knew her voice would betray her if she said a single word. She attempted to keep this poker face when she went to work that day, trying not to draw attention to her anguish. Despite the mask she wore, people still had the need to ask how she was feeling. By the end of the day, she was done with the questions and just wanted to talk to a single person.

Once she was in her room, Clare fell backwards onto her bed after dialing Eli's number through speed dial; she lied there patiently, listening to the rings that came from her phone.

"Please, Eli, pick up," she begged.

She kept her eyes closed, hoping that the loving voice of her boyfriend would greet her. However, after the third tone, she just knew that he was not going to answer and she prepared to hear his outgoing message.

"You've reached Eli. Obviously I'm not here so leave a message and I might call you back."

"Hey," Clare began once she was able to record her message. "Um, I just got off work and I told you I'd call if I could, so here I am. I guess you must be doing something like homework, so . . . call me soon, okay? I love you."

Disheartened, she hung up her phone. She prolonged going to sleep for as long as she could, not wanting to miss Eli if he miraculously called her back; once she was in bed, she read one of the novels she owned for a while, looking at her phone every time she finished a page. But at two in the morning, she knew for certain that Eli would not return her call or text her that night. It hurt, but she tried to be reasonable; he was probably doing homework or his phone died or something and he simply could not get ahold of her. Eli would not do this to her on purpose and she saw that this was true; she merely wished that her longing for him would evaporate.

()()

_I am really, really, really, really sorry that I didn't answer your call or text you last night. My phone was on silent and when I went to text you, I realized it was in the middle of the night. I'm really sorry. I love you and I love you. I love you very, very, very, very, very, VERY much. I'll call you sometime today. I promise xxx_

Clare got that message the following morning. She was definitely appeased that Eli did not do this intentionally and she was looking forward to him calling her. What she did not expect was for him to call her late in the morning; needing to hear his voice, she did not complain and answered her phone.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Hey, baby," he replied.

"What are you up to?" she asked, sitting on her bed.

"I'm heading to Math One-Oh-One and I'd thought I should return the call I missed this yesterday."

"I'm glad you called."

"So am I. Listen, I'm really sorry about not calling you back and not texting you until this morning."

"It's okay," she assured him.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," she assured him.

"I won't make a habit of it."

"Alright, now let it go; it's no big deal."

Eli rolled his eyes, disagreeing with Clare's opinion but deciding to drop the subject.

"So what's my favorite person up to today?" he asked.

"Relaxing for the next few hours and then I'm going to work. Speaking of work, how was the first day of class?"

"Long," he stated pointblank.

"And how's the job at the movie theater?"

"Not bad, actually," he answered. "The uniform I have to wear isn't completely dorky, so I think I'll survive."

"I have to see that," she chuckled.

"You will, you will," Eli said, smirking.

"Good," she grinned. "What are your –?"

"I'm sorry, Clare, but I have to go," he said hurriedly as he noticed that he only had five more minutes until his class started and he still had to get to the other side of campus. "I'll talk to you later; I love you, bye."

"I love –."

The line went dead before she could finish.

"You too," she finished to the empty room as she put her phone to the side. Again, she tried not to let this bother her because it was out of his control that he could not talk to her. Did she wish for the call to be longer? Yes, but she tried to appreciate the fact that he called at all. He could have just gone to class without calling her, but he did and that should have been enough. As much as she appreciated the gesture, Clare still felt empty inside and she hated it.

She hoped that he would call her again that night when their conversation would not be rushed. At ten thirty that night, however, all she received was a text that read _I love you_ and nothing more. She replied with an _I love you too_, but she did not feel warm on the inside like she usually did when Eli told her he loved her. Before he left, Clare believed that seeing these texts would bring her comfort, but now they brought her longing. She was disgusted at herself for wanting more communication with Eli while he probably had a lot going on.

When she and Alli went to the mall the following afternoon, she conceded all her pain and problems to her. When Alli saw that Clare was not acting like herself, she asked what was wrong and she eventually told all. Clare spoke about how horrible she felt that she did not view Eli's texts in the way she wanted, how she wanted them to talk more but not enough to have rushed conversations, and how disheartened she felt that he did not respond to her messages until the following day even though she knew he did not do it on purpose. Alli listened closely as they took a break from walking around the mall to sit on one of the benches.

"I mean, I get that he's busy, but . . . I don't know, maybe I'm just making a bigger deal about this than it is."

"You know he probably feels as upset about this as you do, right?" Alli said. "He probably feels bad that he misses your calls and everything."

"I know, and that's what's making me feel so bad about this. I should be understanding and let it go, but I just can't."

"You guys have only been doing this for a few days. Once everything calms down and after school starts up again, you guys will soon find your ways to deal with the distance."

"But what should I do until then?"

"Find a way to get your mind off him," Alli said as though it was obvious.

"I tried; I read and write, but I still end up looking at my phone and checking my emails every ten minutes."

"Then do something different."

"Like what?" Clare asked.

Alli shrugged before answering.

"Maybe you can learn to play an instrument or something."

"I don't have the patience."

"I can tell," Alli said, taking note of Clare's unsettling behavior. "Why don't you just tell Eli how you feel about this? You guys did make a pact of honesty."

"I can't," Clare said. "On top of our relationship, he has things to handle; I'm not going to ask for more when he has enough on his plate."

"What are you saying, Clare? You're just going to sit back and keep feeling like this?"

"If I have to," she nodded. "This is not Eli's fault, but if I tell him I'll make him sound like the bad guy; I'm not going to do that to him."

"He wouldn't want you feeling this way either."

Alli was probably right . . . no, she was _definitely_ right. Clare remembered that before he left, Eli told her that he would still be there to talk to her when she was upset. What made Clare unsure was that she did not want to call him to talk about her problems just so he could end up rushing off a couple of minutes later. He was still getting used to his new life and she needed to do the same; it was too soon for them to start complaining about what was not working in this type of relationship when they hardly had the time to accommodate.

"It's only been a few days and we both just need more time."

()()

Tonight was the night when she hoped that Eli would actually be able to talk without leaving in a hurry. Clare sat at her laptop at nine fifteen, mutely praying before calling Eli through Skype. Within seconds, she was seeing her boyfriend's face; he had some light circles under his eyes, which automatically gave her the feeling that now was not the best time to talk.

"There's a sight for sore eyes," he greeted her with a grin on his face.

"Are you okay? You look exhausted."

"Well, you know, the first week of college life is a bit overwhelming," he shrugged.

"Should I call you back later then?" she asked.

"And miss a chance to talk to my girl?"

Clare grinned at his comment, appeased that she did not call at the wrong time after all.

"Alright, spill," she said. "How were your first three days?"

She sat back and listened as Eli told her about his classes, his professors, the couple of other people he met, and his job. Evidently, there were two people in the year above him that worked at the movie theater as well; they were a couple, and he could not help but think of him and Clare whenever he did.

"It's like . . . they're our clones or something, except they're not."

"So does that mean you're like Adam? The friend that has to see two lovebirds act all mushy with each other?"

"You know, I think so," Eli said, making the comparison. "Weird . . . but strangely accurate."

Clare smiled.

"Sounds like everything's going crazy there," she said.

"A bit, but it'll get better soon enough. So, how was lunch with your dad and Alyson?"

"It was alright," she shrugged. "Nothing crazy happened and there weren't any fights or anything."

"That's good," he said, pleased that she and Alyson were not at each other's throats every three seconds anymore.

"Are you having fun up there?"

"I am," he said, shrugging a single shoulder. "But it doesn't quite feel like home."

"Homesick?" she guessed.

"A little," he answered.

"I'm sorry, baby," she said, wishing he did not feel that way.

"Thanks," he replied. "I miss you so much."

"I miss you too. But at least you have Josh, so you're not completely alone. Where is he, anyway?"

"Actually, he and Cathy are doing homework in her room."

"You didn't want to tag along?" she asked.

"Honestly, I was hoping that I would be able to talk to you."

"Well, here I am," she smiled, flattered by what he said.

"And I'm _extremely_ happy about that."

Clare and Eli sat there, talking back and forth for an hour about everything and anything; she had learned that he made a couple of new friends, which she loved hearing about. He told her more about Josh and Cathy, the campus, and his professors. They kept speaking until they final reached a point of silence when Eli noticed the time.

"Well, I've kept you up long enough," he told her.

"I don't mind," she said, hoping that this was not just the easy way of telling her that he did not feel like talking anymore. "Unless you have homework or something that you need to do."

Eli's lips curled into a grin, pleased that she was not in a hurry to get off her computer.

"Would you mind if I just talked to you a bit longer?" he asked. "This has kind of been the highlight of my week."

The pain Clare had been feeling the past few days began to numb as she heard those words. Just hearing that she was the bright spot of Eli's week made her feel better and she knew that she was not the only one feeling so alone.

"I'll stay up all night if you need me to. I can even try to help with homework if you need it."

"How?" he asked, not seeing how this was possible since she did not have his material and she did not know what he was learning about.

"I don't know, but I can be good company if you want it."

Eli smirked, seeing his girlfriend as the best company anyone could have.

"I wouldn't want to bore you with homework."

Clare bit the corner of her mouth as she looked the notebook that was on her desk.

"I have an idea."

She then picked up her notebook to show to the webcam.

"Uh . . . nice notebook," Eli said, confused as to what was going on.

Clare chuckled before explaining her plan to him.

"Just imagine that the two of us are in your room while you're doing homework and I'm writing a story."

Eli grinned, loving the idea; it may not have been the same as them actually lying on his bed while they worked like they used to after school, but it was the next best thing.

"You're brilliant."

Clare shrugged.

"If only we could take our special study breaks," she said, recalling the times they would have small make-out sessions every time they needed to rest their brains.

"Well, you can't have everything in life," Eli stated as he grabbed his Math textbook. "Thanks for keeping me company."

"Anytime," she said as they both opened up their books. "What do you have to?"

"Problems that my teacher assigned us," he informed her. "How's your story coming along?"

"It's getting there," she said.

For the next couple of hours, they attempted to do work and talk at the same time. It was odd at first, considering the silences were awkward until they both remembered that they were simply hanging out; it may have been through Skype, but they did not care. This allowed Eli to have a taste of home, so he did not complain. Even though Clare did feel a bit strange not talking to Eli every second, she eventually got used to it. Whenever Eli got the majority of a problem done or whenever Clare took a pause, they would always converse about the work or the story; it was not exactly the same as them lying in his room, but it would do and they were happy about it.

"This is a good thing we have going," Eli said. "For a second, I almost forgot I wasn't in Toronto."

"I guess we should do this when school starts back up for me then," Clare suggested. "We can do homework together."

"And, since I already took the classes you're going to take, I'll gladly help you if you need it."

"Sounds good," she consented before checking the time. "It's one o'clock; I guess we should call it a night."

"Yeah," Eli agreed. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Alright," she nodded, closing her notebook. As she did, the hurt she had been keeping bottled up inside her the last few days finally resurfaced. Eli was in university and could hang up the phone at the drop of a hat; her stomach turned at this fact as she tried not to let him see her ache.

"Clare? You okay?" he then asked.

She cursed herself inwardly, annoyed that he saw. She nodded, hoping he would believe her.

"I'm fine," she said.

"You're sure? You know you can talk to me if you need to, right?"

He said those to her more times than she could count, but with every time he said them, the more she was able to open her heart to him. However, now that he was away, she could not find her voice or the courage to do it. This could lead to a fight and issues, and she was not going to let that happen if she could avoid it; if time passed and this did not get any easier, maybe then she would consider telling him, but now was too soon.

"I know," she replied. "I just need some sleep."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay," he said. "But call me if you need anything."

Clare nodded, knowing that calling him could result in only talking to his voicemail.

"Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too, Clare."

Without another word, Clare logged out of Skype and closed her laptop, praying that this would get easier . . . and soon.

* * *

"_So far away from where you are _

_These miles have torn us worlds apart _

_And I miss you"_

_~"From Where You Are" by Lifehouse_

* * *

This was a bit of a filler, obviously, but I hoped it was still good. For those who've seen it, what did you guys think of the premiere? Reviews!


	111. We Stitch These Wounds

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY! **(I know they're back together now and I said I would only keep posting that until they got back together, but it's grown on me so it's sticking around).

Thank you to all who have read this story and are continuing to read it. I really appreciate the feedback, positive and negative. Now, I hope you guys are enjoying the season so far; I know I am. Here's the newest chapter. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or the Latest Buzz . . . that's right, I just started watching the Latest Buzz and all I can say is "awestruck".

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Eleven

We Stitch These Wounds

Eli refused to believe that there was nothing going on with Clare. She may have told him that everything was fine, but he had grown to recognize whether her "fines" were legitimate or not. He could not even attempt to finish his Math 101 homework that night because he was too busy trying to figure out what was going on with her.

He awoke a bit earlier than he planned the next morning so he could have a long talk with her on Skype and get to the bottom of this before he had to go to class. To his misfortune, she did not appear to be online at all. He really wanted to talk to her and get this sorted out, but he did not want to simply send her an email or a text or a message on Facerange; this was serious and he wanted it to be done when they could hear each other's voices. He thought about calling her, but decided against it just in case she could still be asleep; he did keep her up late last night and he would not blame her if she wanted to sleep in.

But he was not going to let the day go by without giving her some indication that he was worried about her. He decided that he would leave her a text and then possibly Skype with her later so they could talk about this. Hoping that it would help whatever has happened, he sat on the edge of his bed and tried to find a caring way to tell her that he wanted to talk to her about what was on her mind without being too forward about it. After minutes of consideration, he finally decided on what he could say. Taking a breath, he began typing his message in hopes that Clare would read it soon.

_Just wanted to let you know that I love you, I miss you, and that I loved Skyping with you last night. Sorry I kept you up so late. Are you up for another chat tonight around 9:30?_

He wanted to imply that he was suspected that there was something not right with her, but he did not want to seem overbearing; she could have simply been tired like she said the night before, but he still had trouble being convinced. Deciding that the message would have to do, he sent it to her.

For most of the day, he kept checking his phone at every moment possible. He hoped to see a text, a voicemail, or even a notice that said he missed a call from Clare; to his disappointment, he found nothing. During his classes, he sneaked a peek at his phone whenever he could, but the screen remained empty of alerts. Even when he went to his first Drama Club meeting on campus that afternoon, he found himself with half of his mind was on Clare and her absent reply.

He was very tempted to send more texts, but he knew that bombarding her with messages would not help anything. His fought the urge by distracting himself with homework until he had to go to his job. He arrived at the movie theater on time in his dark trousers and maroon polo that read _Ottawa Cinema _on the left breast in white letters. For the first hour, he focused on working behind the concession's stand and nothing more.

"Enjoy your movie," Eli said to a couple of guys who had just purchased some popcorn and sodas. They were the last in line and the next movie was not set to play for another hour, therefore everyone working the counter would not have work to do for a little while. Deciding to take advantage of his time, Eli walked away from the counter to the corner of the lobby to check his phone; to his surprise, he actually did not see a text, but a voicemail. After checking to see that his boss was not in sight, he pressed all appropriate buttons before putting his phone to get to her message. Seconds later, he heard Clare's voice in his ear and he cursed himself for not answering the call.

"Hey, it's Clare. I just wanted to let you know that I can Skype at nine thirty and I just wanted to see how you were doing, but I guess I called at a bad time. Well . . . I'll talk to you soon. Love you. Bye."

Growling in annoyance that he was unable to talk to her when she called, he quickly dialed her number again and put the phone to his ear, hoping that she would be able to answer.

"Hello," she greeted.

"Hey, it's me," he said, praising the fact that he could hear her again.

"Hi, what's up?"

"I just thought I'd see how you were doing."

"I'm fine."

"What are you up to?"

"Just sitting in my room reading a book. What about you?"

"I'm taking a quick break from work."

"Oh . . . I guess you can't talk long then."

"Unfortunately," he answered regrettably. "But I can for a few minutes."

"Okay," she said, her tone coming out sadder than she intended; she cleared her throat in attempt to cover it up, but she was certain that it would not be much help. Not being able to take the uncertainty anymore, Eli spoke as calmly as possible.

"Clare, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine."

"Really?"

"Yes," she stressed, the word coming out in a harsh tone.

Completely unconvinced, Eli kept going, hoping she would tell him the truth before he had to get back to work.

"You know you can talk to me, right? It doesn't matter if I'm three hundred miles –."

"Eli, I'm fine," she restated firmly.

"It's just that you seemed upset when we got off Skype yesterday and now you're . . ."

Eli was unsure how to continue without offending her, but he knew she got the idea when he heard her response.

"It's just one of those days, okay?"

"Clare –."

"Listen, I don't want you getting into trouble your first week on the job, so I'll just Skype with you later."

"I have time; you can talk to me if you need to."

"I'll just talk to you in a few hours, alright?"

Eli exhaled, annoyed that she was not willing to talk to him even though they promised to talk at every possible moment.

"Fine," he accepted bitterly. "We'll talk later."

"I'll talk to you then."

"Bye," he said before ending the call and putting his phone in his pocket. He stalked back to the concession stand and his three coworkers, trying not to make it apparent that he was in an unpleasant mood. He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms and beginning to reflect on the phone call he just had. He was not sure what affected him more: Clare refusing to talk to him about what was going on or how desperate she was to get him off the phone. When he woke up that morning, he imagined them having a heart-to-heart and then end their conversation on a good note; when the opposite happened, however, Eli was beginning to see just how much the distance was starting to influence their communication.

"You alright there?"

Eli turned his head to see Haley, a coworker who was also a sophomore at the University of Ottawa. She had long black hair, brown eyes, and was a bit on the shorter side; she was now standing next to Eli, concerned to see him so glum.

"I'm fine," Eli lied. "Just another day, you know?"

"Are you sure? Because I've seen that look a million times on Gary and it's always because there's something wrong with him."

"Someone say my name?" a new voice said.

Barely a second later, Haley was in someone's arms as a nineteen-year-old male held her from behind; Gary, Haley's boyfriend, classmate, and coworker, had sandy hair, blue eyes, and wore square-rimmed glasses. Grinning, Haley turned her head to meet Gary's lips in a kiss. Eli resisted all temptation to roll his eyes as the couple fondled each other's lips; he felt envy that they were kissing in front of him while his girlfriend was in Toronto, probably mad at him for a reason he was unaware of.

Now that he was here, alone, watching the couple lovingly embrace, Eli saw that this was probably how Adam felt whenever he and Clare shared a moment and made him feel like a third wheel because of it. Making a mental reminder to himself to give Adam a huge apology next time he talked to him, Eli cleared his throat.

"Sorry," Haley said, blushing as she and Gary unattached lips.

"So, what were we talking about?" Gary asked.

"The newbie here is looking blue."

This time Eli did roll his eyes, despising them for giving him this nickname when he first got this job.

"What's wrong, dude?"

"Nothing," Eli shrugged, not quite sure if he was really in the mood to talk about this.

"You and the girlfriend have a fight?" Haley guessed, remembering that Eli had mentioned having a girlfriend back home.

"No," he answered, even though he was not completely certain.

"Then what's wrong?"

Eli sighed, wishing that he could call Adam, Josh, or Cathy right now since he was closer to them. But they were all busy, so if he needed to talk to people, he would have to settle for Gary and Haley. He supposed that he should have been fortunate that they were a couple so they could relate to him, but he was not exactly close with them and this made him hesitant.

"My girlfriend and I . . . something's not right."

"What do you mean?" Haley asked.

"I don't know. I mean, we were Skyping last night and everything was fine one minute but the next . . ."

"Was she mad about something?" Gary asked.

"No, we were just saying goodnight and she started acting differently. And I just tried talking to her on the phone and it didn't seem like she wanted to talk to me."

"Maybe she's busy," Haley justified.

"No, we were doing fine until I told her I was at work."

"She probably just didn't want you to get in trouble."

"If that's the case, then why did she act so upset on Skype last night?"

"She probably just didn't want to stop talking and she was just upset that you did. You're reading too much into this."

"No, if anything he's not reading into this enough," Gary voiced.

"What?" Haley said.

Although Haley's theory did make sense, Eli was more than interested to know what his other friend had to say. He nodded at Gary, encouraging him to continue.

"You've been busy this past week, right?"

"Yeah," he answered, not quite sure what direction this was leading him.

"So how many times have you two talked since you got here?"

"A lot," he said.

"No, I mean how many times have you _really _had a conversation with her?"

"Um . . . I don't know, maybe four times."

"And how many times have you Skyped?"

"Three times, I think."

"So, out of the six days you've been here, you haven't really talked to her that much, have you?"

Eli reflected on the week he had been here and, now that he gave it some serious thought, the two of them had not really had time to speak to each other for very long. They texted, called, and Skyped, but they did not really have a full conversation about much of anything until last night. Not wanting to admit it out loud, he looked down at his feet to give Gary his answer.

"Don't you see? She probably feels neglected," Gary explained. "You've been doing so much that she can't always be what comes first and she sees that."

"You're wrong," Eli responded pointblank, snapping his head back up. "I put Clare before everything else."

"But does she know that?"

"Yes, she does," he said. "But she also understands that I can't talk every day, that I can't always answer the phone, or –."

Before Eli could continue, they heard a dark chuckle coming from the other end of the counter; the source of the cackle was from a male who was two years older than Eli. Devin, a university dropout with short black hair, pale skin, and a shadow of stubble, was definitely the least favorite person Eli had encountered since he arrived in Ottawa; his attitude was unpleasant and it seemed that he did not have anything better to do than make his coworkers' lives miserable.

"What's so funny?" Gary demanded, all eyes now on Devin.

"Oh, nothing," he shrugged as he strolled towards the group. "I just can't believe what I'm hearing."

"How about you mind your own business?" Eli dared.

"It's kind of hard to block you guys out when all I can hear are your voices."

"Look, Devin, we're not in the mood, so why don't you just leave us alone?" Gary requested, his eyes roaring with frustration.

"I'm sorry, but now I'm intrigued."

Eli felt the animosity boil within him; he did not want more people than necessary involved with his long-distance relationship issues, but now Devin was included and it made him wish that he applied for a job at the restaurant with Cathy just so he would not have to put up with him.

"You and your girl are trying long-distance, newbie?"

"What does it matter to you?" Eli sneered.

"And you two are already having problems," Devin observed, ignoring Eli's question. "Have you guys broken up before?"

"Why do you care?"

"I'll take that as a yes," Devin said.

Eli honestly thought that he had already seen the low point of his day; little did he know that it was about to get lower. In a final attempt to block out this man's unneeded words, Eli looked back down at the floor and tried to focus on the Geology quiz he had tomorrow. To his misfortune, all thoughts of rocks and earth were replaced by Devin's voice.

"If you want my opinion –."

"Which we don't," Haley stated, only for it to be ignored.

"– All long-distance relationships are a waste of time."

"Not true," Gary retorted. "My sister and her fiancé have been in a long-distance relationship for a year and a half and they're still going strong."

"But for how much longer?" Devin asked. "Any second now, one of them could be calling to say that they're done and they'll break up."

"_Or_ they could talk like adults and try to figure something out," Haley articulated.

"I'm just saying, these things have a very small chance of succeeding."

"But it's not impossible," Eli spoke up, facing Devin. He was aware that he and Clare were going against all odds; he just did not like being reminded that they were walking a very thin line and that there was a chance everything could fall through.

"All I'm saying is that someone is going to get hurt along the line."

"We're only going to be apart for a year," Eli reminded himself while informing Devin in the process. "Then she's coming here."

"And what if that's not the case?"

"Then Clare and I will figure something out."

Devin laughed again, more humor emerging in it this time.

"So, let me get this straight: you and your girlfriend are going to only talk through phones and computers, visit each other, hold down jobs, attend school, and possibly _not_ go to the same college together, but still be together in a few years?"

"Yes," Eli said, not wanting to give Devin the satisfaction of how naïve his monologue was.

It was now Devin's turn to roll eyes; once he did, he turned back to Eli, both of them sneering at each other.

"Then I wish you the best of luck. But remember this: if you two are already having problems and if you have broken up in the past, there's nothing stopping you guys from breaking up again."

That was the final straw that made the fury break out of Eli. He raised his fist and would have hit Devin in the jaw if it Gary did not take hold of his wrist.

"Easy," he hissed at Eli. "Trust me, you don't want to do that."

Eli begged to differ; this person had the audacity to tell him that he and Clare would not get through this when he did not know anything about their relationship, what they had been through together, or the promises they made. Nostrils flaring, Eli pulled his wrist out of Gary's grasp and glared at Devin.

Even though he was not showing it, Devin sensed that he had struck a nerve with Eli; smirking, he walked back to his original spot, leaving the college students at the other end of the concession stand. Disgusted that he would have to see this guy day in and day out for as long as he worked here, Eli turned around and rested his hands on the counter while taking a couple of breaths to calm down.

He would never admit here, but he knew that Devin was right and that anything – good and bad – could happen to him and Clare while they were three hundred miles apart; they understood this perfectly, but they were prepared to fight what was in front of them. What made him nervous was that the two of them did not seem to be on the same page right now and if things were to get worse from here, they could not be ready for what could lie ahead.

Before he became too lost in his thoughts of dread, he felt the presence of someone next to him. He did not have a chance to turn to see who it was, for she began to speak immediately.

"Don't listen to him," Haley consoled, giving him a friendly pat on the back. "You and Clare are going to be fine."

"I hope so," Eli muttered to himself, wanting to believe that everything that had happened this week was just a rough start and not the beginning of the end. "I'll just talk to her tonight; try and sort out whatever's going on."

"Good idea," Haley agreed. "Don't worry, you two will get things worked out."

Eli nodded, knowing that it was time for him and Clare to fix any issues and to prevent any that could be right around the corner.

()()

Eli was alone in his and Josh's room that night, prepared to Skype with Clare. He knew that this session could either be beneficial or damaging and he was anxious to find out which; their talk from a few hours ago did not go the way he had planned and he was afraid that this would lead to their first fight of this long-distance relationship. Hoping for the best, he sent her the request to video chat and, seconds later, they were both looking at each other.

"Hi," he greeted her, unable to tell if she was mad at him or not.

"Hi," she replied. She did not sound resentful or cold, but she did not seem enthusiastic either. When she did not continue after that, Eli knew that it was his time to speak up.

"Are you alright?" he asked, slowly easing into the conversation.

"I guess," she shrugged. "You?"

"Same," he answered.

Silence then settled in, causing their atmospheres to feel uncomfortable to the both of them. Clare looked down at her keyboard while Eli looked at the wall next to his desk; they could not remember the last time there was so much tension between them and feeling it now after their first week of being separated like this did not make it easier. One of them had to take the first step, but Eli was worried that he would be crossing some sort of line and Clare was terrified of how Eli would respond if she said something. They were in a stalemate and, for the first minute, it seemed at neither of them would take the plunge . . . until one of them finally found their voice.

"I'm sorry that I kept snapping at you over the phone this afternoon."

"I kept pushing you for you to talk to me when you didn't want to. I'm sorry," Eli apologized.

"It's not that I didn't want to talk to you," she explained hurriedly, realizing how he could have gotten that idea. "You were at work and –."

"I know," Eli said. "I understand, don't worry."

A small grin of relief came to Clare's face for a second before bracing herself to continue the conversation.

"So . . . are we okay?"

If this were any other situation, Eli would have let this go completely, said something smug, kissed her, and continued on. But now that they were apart and had unresolved issues in front of them, he found that it was time to be serious.

"Depends . . . are you doing okay?"

"Yeah," she said, aware that she was lying to Eli.

He did not want to have a repeat of what happened while they were on the phone that day, yet he was desperate to figure out what was going on with her. Taking a deep breath, he looked at her eyes through the screen and prepared to make his move.

"I'm asking because . . . last night we were talking and we were doing fine, but before we went offline, you seemed upset. And today . . . you just don't seem yourself."

Clare turned her eyes down again and bit back on her lip, her heart beating painfully inside her ribcage.

"Before I left, remember how I told you that you can still talk to me even though I'm here and you're there?" he said.

"Yeah," she replied.

"That hasn't changed. You know that, right?"

To Clare, Eli's ability to know whenever she was upset was a blessing and curse. This meant that he was not completely blind to her emotions, but it also meant that it was impossible to hide her feelings when she needed to.

"It's nothing," she told him.

"You can still tell me if you want to."

Part of Clare wanted to keep this bottled up so Eli would not be affected while he was away. Now that he was offering his ears and heart to her, she was highly tempted to release all the worry and sadness. She took a final breath before finally preparing to let out everything she had been holding in.

"I'm just getting used to us being so far apart from each other."

"Is that all?" he asked, not satisfied with her answer.

"That's the main thing."

"Well, is there anything I could do to help? Call more or something?"

"No," she said almost immediately. "No, you call enough."

Although slightly offended by her refusal, he overlooked it and paid more attention to how quickly she responded. It automatically made him more concerned and it made him see that he was right and that there was more to this than just difficulty adjusting. He did not want to push her into talking about what was on her mind, but he was starting to fear that this was just the first step to something worse.

"Clare, if we want this to work, we need to talk to each other."

"I know, but I don't want us to start having problems," she said, the very thought of them having fights breaking her heart.

"And you think not talking is going to prevent that from happening?"

Clare held her tongue, seeing that Eli's statement made sense. She remembered how there were times last year when he did not talk to her and that led to fights and disagreements. She did not wish to repeat that at any costs, so she looked straight at Eli.

"Before I tell you, please try to see this from my point of view, okay?"

"Okay," he complied, pleased with this form of progress.

Clare took a second to recollect her thoughts, hoping that she would not vex Eli by revealing all that was inside her.

"Whenever we talk on the phone . . . it usually seems that we don't talk long and . . . you always have to leave when we're in the middle of talking. And when I call you, I only get voicemail; when I text, it takes you forever to reply; and we've only really talked three or four times since you left, so . . ."

She took a breath, knowing that she was sounding like a bit of a brat by the way she was complaining about something that was not always in his control. Feeling tears coming to her eyes, she quickly blinked so that way they would not fall on to her face.

"It feels like we don't talk and I feel horrible for thinking that way because I know that you're busy and that we can't always talk, but . . ."

Clare could not figure out how to continue without hurting Eli, therefore she did not speak again. Even though she was silent, he did not need her to continue to comprehend what was going on. He thought back to the conversation he had with Gary that day and he saw that his friend's speculation was correct: Clare felt neglected.

"Is this why you acted so strange last night?" he asked, seeing how that could have affected her.

"I was upset because I did not know when we would talk like that again. That was only the second time since you left that we actually talked like we used to. All the other times it was rushed or you had to leave in the middle of the conversation."

"Is that what's bothering you the most here? Me rushing off the phone?" he asked, noticing how she kept bringing it up.

Not meeting his eye, Clare answered his question.

"Yes."

At first, he was slightly taken aback that she was so dejected because he had to leave last second. He could not control it and he would have talked to Clare all day if he could; he really believed that she would know that and him leaving was not done willingly or as a way to hurt her.

Then he put himself in Clare's shoes and tried to imagine how he would have felt if they were talking on the phone one second and saying rushed goodbyes the next. The first time may not have been too bad, considering it was what was expected; the second time around, on the other hand, could be a sign that this was about to become a constant happening. He would have felt unimportant, unwanted, maybe even unloved. He would have told himself that it was the natural reaction and that Clare did love him, but he did not want to happen again. But what if it did and he started believing those feelings?

If that was even remotely close to how Clare had been feeling the last few days, then Eli was more furious at himself than he was minutes before. He then thought back to what happened at the theater today and what Devin had said; he did not want this act of tactlessness to be the beginning of their problems, which was why he was determined to repair the damage in all ways necessary.

"I promise I'll try not to rush off the phone and I'll call you more and –."

"Eli, you're busy enough as it is," she argued.

"Then what do you want me to do? I'm not going to sit back and pretend that everything is fine."

"It is fine," she protested. "I'm just trying to get used to everything."

"And I'm sure doing what I've been doing is helping a lot," he said sarcastically.

"Eli, we both knew that this could happen when we started this."

"Then why are you upset?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "That's what's bothering me and I feel bad for feeling like that."

They were both silent after that for a while. Eli was enraged that they could not seem to find a solution to this problem; he wanted Clare to be happy, but it did not seem like he could do that without keeping an eye on his phone at all times and drop everything to talk to her. In most cases, he would have done that for her in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, this was a different circumstance and he was in class or working a lot of the time and he could not always put everything to the side for her.

"I would answer all your calls and everything if I could, but I can't."

"I know. It's just hard to accept the fact that everything changed so quickly. I mean, one day we were able to talk when we wanted for as long as we wanted and now it just feels like we have this limited window of opportunity to say a word to each other."

"But if I call more, we would have more chances to speak to each other."

"That also means that you would have to stop talking halfway through the call."

"What do you think we should do? If I don't call more often, you're going to feel like we don't talk much. If I do call more often, they won't last very long. Which one would you rather have?"

"Nothing has to change. I'll get over it, okay?"

"No, it's not okay!" he argued. "If we avoid this problem, then more problems will come from it and then things will get worse and then we'll break up!"

Clare was shocked to hear those words; she was not exactly sure what she was expecting, but those words never crossed her mind. She was now concerned that Eli had those thoughts in his head; they agreed that breaking up would not be an option, so she could not be sure why he would think that.

"Eli, this is just one thing. We're not breaking up over that."

"Sure, not over _this_," he emphasized. "But over the next few months, we could have more issues that we ignore and then one day it will all come out and . . ."

"Why would you even think that?" she asked as gently as possible. "We've been through worse stuff than this and we both said that we won't break up because of some fights."

Eli took a breath to keep his thoughts collected and to not snap again.

"This jerk at the theater, Devin, he . . . he just said that if we start having problems this early, it could lead to something worse and then we can break up."

Unable to take him in her arms, Clare held to Eli's necklace as it sat around her neck to let him know that she was with him.

"Listen, you want to marry me someday, right?"

"Of course," he answered.

"And I want to marry you. We both know what we were getting into when this started and we knew that this wasn't going to be a piece of cake; but we also know that it's going to take more than a few fights and everything to break us up. Just think of everything we've been through since we started dating; there was my parents, the hoarding, Kate, our breakup. Do you really think that after all that we're really just going to throw it all away because of some fights we have that happen over webcam and the phone?"

Eli listened to everything that had just escape Clare's lips. Hearing her words and the meaning behind them made him see that Devin was just a person on the outside looking in who did not have the slightest idea what he was talking about. His girlfriend knew what she was saying because she lived all of it and so did he. Feeling ashamed that breaking up could have been a possibility, he put his hand around the vial of blood necklace.

"You're right," he said. "I just hate seeing you upset, that's all."

"Well, that's very sweet of you, but you really don't have to worry."

"But I want you to be happy as quickly as possible. I can't really do much for you since I'm here, so I think I owe you that much."

Clare smiled at his benevolence, amazed that she was lucky enough to have this caring boy as her future husband.

"If you were here, I'd be kissing you right now."

"I would have been kissing you a long time ago."

They grinned at each other for a second, pleased that they were now passed the yelling and the arguing. The couple than began discussing what they could do so that way they would not feel like they do not feel neglected by the other without having rushed conversations. Clare suggested that they could text more, but Eli stated that they would not particularly have a full conversation that way unless they both had free time. Eli then said that he could call during breaks or whenever he was not in class; Clare would have been onboard with this idea, but she did not want it to seem like he was being forced to talk to her at every free moment. After fifteen minutes of talking, Eli believed that he finally found the happy medium.

"What about this?" he began. "How about I only call you when I know for sure I won't have anything going so that way I won't have to leave in the middle of talking?"

"Okay," she agreed. "And I'll try not to get upset if I text and you don't reply right away."

"Then we could try Skyping every day or so?"

"Sounds perfect," she acceded.

"But, fair warning, there may be times when I can't talk because of studying or I have to cover for someone at work or something."

"I know," she assured, not expecting anything less. "As long as it doesn't happen every day."

"Deal," he said, pleased that they finally had an understanding. "Can I still text you that I love you in the morning and at night?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"Great," he said, relief in his voice.

"I'm glad we finally got that sorted out," Clare said, feeling a lot better now that she had finally let out her anguish to Eli.

"Me too," he reciprocated. "Now we can actually enjoy our phone calls and everything."

"Exactly," she conformed, glad that they did not have to deal with hurried conversations anymore. "So . . . should we have our second study date through Skype now?"

"Tonight, I was thinking that maybe you and I should just talk. We haven't really been doing that much lately."

"We talked yesterday," she reminded him.

"Yesterday seems like a long time ago here."

"Okay," Clare said, relating to the feeling. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Hmm . . . how about how my lovely future wife is almost a high school senior?"

"Don't remind me," she whined, covering her face at the reminder. She looked at him through the gaps of her fingers, not surprised to see his lopsided smile.

"You'll be fine," he reassured her.

"I know, but it's my last year of high school and it's weird to know that by this time next year I'll be ready to go to university."

"Don't worry," he eased her as she uncovered her face. "You still have time."

"Yeah, but it would be a lot better if you and Adam were still at Degrassi with me."

"If you said that a couple of months ago, I would have missed out on a few credits to stay in grade twelve one more year so I could be there."

Clare grinned, in awe that he would have done that for her.

"No, you're where you need to be," she told him. "But remind me next time I see you that I need to give you a kiss for the offer."

"I will," he said, looking forward to that kiss. "How is your story coming along?"

"I got the first three chapters done."

"How long do you think it's going to be?" he asked, his curiosity emerging.

"Ten, fifteen chapters tops. Do you still want to read it when it's done?"

"Well . . . _yes_!" he emphasized. Seeing his enthusiasm made Clare grin, making her feel confident in her ability to write since Eli gave her amazing feedback.

"Okay, I'll send it to you when it's done," she said.

"Great," he said. "Anything else happen today?"

"Yeah," she began. "Melissa and I went with Alyson to her final dress fitting for the wedding."

"Did that go well?"

"Yeah, and her dress is beautiful," she said. "I just saw her there and . . . it's all starting to hit me."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"A bit of both. I'm happy that Dad found someone to settle down with and everything but after they get married, I'm only going to see him every other weekend, I'm going to have a stepmother and stepsister, and . . ."

She took a breath, trying to shake the sudden impact of the reality.

"Everything will be okay," Eli told her, wishing to hold her hand to give her comfort.

"I know," she said, trying to put on a smile. "Now what about you? What are you up to?"

"Oh, the usual," he started. "Went to class, thought about you, went to work, thought about you, studied, thought about you."

Clare giggled, disbelieved that Eli actually thought about her that much.

"And I also joined the Drama Club today."

"That's amazing!" she exclaimed. "How is it?"

"It's . . . okay."

Clare rolled her eyes kiddingly, knowing that he was lying.

"Don't sugarcoat it, Eli."

"Okay, it seems completely incredible! I can't wait until we start our first production."

"That awesome. I'll try to come up to see one of the productions."

"That'd be great," he smiled, hoping that Clare would be impressed if he actually helped with any of the plays. "And maybe next year when you come here we could actually work on a play together again."

"That sounds great," Clare agreed.

Another two hours of smiles, laughs, and sweet words passed by. The longer they talked, the happier Clare became; now that they were talking and did not have to worry about how long it would be until they had a nice conversation like this again. To their dismay, it was getting late and they both knew that it would be better to get some sleep soon. As they prepared to say their farewells, Clare felt the same familiar sense of emptiness she experienced every time Eli had to get off the phone or the computer.

"Babe? Are you okay?" he asked, seeing her discouraged eyes.

"Y-Yeah," she said forcefully, her voice cracking. "I just hate saying bye to you."

"I can stay on a bit longer," he offered, willing to fight the tiredness for her.

"No, it's okay," she declined. "It's just something else I need to get used to."

Seeing her so disheartened made Eli's heart drop. He could not take her in his arms and whisper that everything will work out until she was feeling better; it was impossible to do so unless he left right now and drove all night to get back to Toronto. If Clare said the word, he would have gotten into Morty that second, but he knew that she would not let it happen. He could not figure out how to give her comfort from five hours away except with words and he wished that he could have found some sort of remedy to her pain.

It was simple to help her when he was there because holding her was sometimes the best form of comfort. He remembered hugging her that day in the hallway after she found out her parents were getting divorced. It happened again several times afterwards; he held her when she felt insecure, when she felt like she could lose him to Kate, when they thought she could have been pregnant, when she left Little Miss Steaks and went to his house because of Alyson –.

Then, in the blink of an eye, he remembered something Clare told him the morning after the dinner fiasco with Alyson.

"Do you still have that panda I won for you?" Eli asked, recalling how he won it for at a carnival last year.

"Yeah," she said, wondering what that had to do with anything.

"Remember how you told me a few months ago that sometimes you hug it and think of me when I'm not around?"

"Uh-hu," she said.

"Maybe you should hold it and pretend it's me again to see if that makes you feel any better," he suggested.

"You think that will work?"

"Well, I'd hold you if I could, but I think this is the next best thing. Just try it."

Figuring that there was nothing more to be done, Clare stood up from her desk chair and walked across her room. Since Eli was over five hours away, she could not hold on to him in any way, so this would be better than nothing. She picked it up and held it to her body; she felt unexplainable comfort almost instantly as she locked it in her arms. The tiniest grin appearing on her lips, she kept her bear next to her as she walked back to her chair.

"Is that better?" he asked, seeing the grip she had on the stuffed animal.

"A bit," Clare responded, the sadness beginning to subside.

"Okay, you just have to get some sleep, you'll wake up in the morning, and this won't feel as bad."

"I hope you're right."

"If not, feel free to call me when you want."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Even if it's in the middle of the night," he promised. "And if I don't answer, it's because I'm working or in class, but I'll definitely call you back the first chance I get."

Clare smiled at him, her eyes glowing with love and appreciation.

"The same goes to you," she told him. "Day or night."

"Thanks," he said, knowing that there will be times when he would just need to hear her voice to make his days better. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I think so," she nodded. "Thankfully I have my little stuffed Eli here to keep me company."

"Maybe you should put the necklace on him and he'll look more like me. I mean, it has the black outlined eyes so maybe the necklace will help."

Clare chortled and saw the resemblance.

"But if I put on the necklace on him, I won't be able to wear it."

"Then next time I see you I'll give you one of my shirts to put on him."

"That sounds good to me," she agreed. "So . . . I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Absolutely," he said with a grin. "But, if you need to talk before that, my phone is on."

She smiled at him, holding her bear tighter so she could feel like she was giving Eli the hug that he deserved.

"I love you, Eli."

"I love you too. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Eli continued to smile, finally at peace after a long day of worry and despair. After his talk with Clare, he was sure that they loved each other enough to solve their problems, that they would find a way to make this work, and that they could beat the odds against them. He looked at the picture of Clare that he had on his desk and gave it a warm smile, grateful that he had such an amazing, patient, caring, and understanding woman to be his future wife.

* * *

"_And stitch these wounds with me tonight"_

_~"We Stitch These Wounds" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

I promise that this is the last of the "Eli and Clare getting used to long-distance relationship chapters" for now. Sorry I put so many of them in; to me, they are important to the plot (plus, there may have also been some foreshadowing in these chapters *wink*).

I hope you guys liked this! Review!


	112. Here Without You

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Guys, seriously? Twelve reviews in less than twenty-four hours? That is incredible! And more still coming in? Seriously, greatest reviewers ever! Huge thanks to those who have reviewed and to the people like Littlemissartsi, Rebecca, and NothingUnderControl, who spend hours (maybe even days) reading all these chapters. And, Donisha Frost and otpeclare, thank you for your reviews; they really brought a smile to my face.

Oh, and to all wondering about the foreshadowing, I can't tell you if it's good or bad because then you guys will be expecting it, and it's always better to expect the unexpected instead of expecting what you expect (yeah, my brain is a scary place).

Shout out to AndySixxElijahh3xx for the great review and for the shout outs that she put in her author's notes. Everyone should really read her stories; I get that warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach whenever she writes something.

Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but maybe that's for the best.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Twelve

Here Without You

Eli and Clare kept to their compromise and found their time to talk every day since then. They exchanged brief texts throughout the day and Skyped in the evening; they had one of their "study dates" Friday night since Eli had a bunch of homework to get started on, but they included some general conversation. For the first time since Eli's departure, Clare felt genuinely at peace with his absence. In fact, now that they were finally found a happy medium in terms of communication, it did not feel like they were far apart from each other.

The only downside was how much Clare missed him. They talked whenever they could, but that only allowed them to talk a third of the time they used to spend conversing. Eli was still getting situated, taking classes, and getting into the groove of his part-time job, so that did not give him too much free time. Since it was still summer for Clare, she was either working, talking to Adam or Eli, spending time with Alli, or was locked up in her room trying to find a way to pass the time. She never realized how much time she actually spent with Eli until he was not there to keep her company or to talk to her whenever she could not bear the silence.

However, it was not long until she found herself focusing on one subject in particular. On Monday morning, Clare awoke to the buzzing of her alarm clock for the first time in weeks. Aggravated, she blindly reached for the snooze button to stop the noise. She sat up, stretched, rubbed her eyes, and remembered that the first day of school was upon her.

She took a quick shower, dried her hair, changed into her uniform, and applied some makeup. By the time she was done, it was only six thirty and she did not have to be at Degrassi for some time. She was looking through her bag to be sure she had everything when she heard her phone go off; she picked it up off her side table and saw that she had a text message. Clare grinned when she saw that the message was from Eli, however she also felt a bit crestfallen when she remembered that she would not be seeing him at Degrassi this year.

_Rise and shine :)_, the message read.

Clare smiled as she replied with one word.

_Skype?_

It didn't take long at all for Eli to reply with a _:)_.

Clare hurriedly logged on to her laptop and was soon looking at the face of Eli, who was still in his pajamas and sporting his bedhead; judging by the background, he was sitting in the hallway of his dorm so he would not wake up Josh.

"Good morning, Miss Senior," he told her with a grin.

"Good morning, _freshman_," she teased.

"That's _Mister_ Freshman to you," he joked. "High schoolers today, they never respect their elders."

Clare playfully rolled her eyes.

"You mean like the respect you didn't give when _you_ were in high school not so long ago?"

"Touché," he said, accepting defeat.

"What are you doing up so early?"

"I thought I should wish my amazing girlfriend luck on her first day back to school."

"That's sweet of you," Clare gushed at how considerate he was to do that for her.

"It's nothing," he said. "Ready for your last first day of Degrassi?"

"I guess," she shrugged.

Eli saw that she looked very unenthusiastic about returning to school, which was strange considering she loved to learn.

"Are you okay? You don't seem very excited," Eli mentioned.

"I'm fine; I'm just going to be lonely this year. You and Adam are gone and Alli's not going to be there."

"Well, maybe you can spend time with some of the people you used to hang out with," Eli suggested.

"You mean like K.C and Jenna? No thank you," she declined.

"No, I mean like Dave, Wesley, and Connor."

"Maybe, but Wesley is always with this girl named Hannah, Dave and Sadie broke up, so he's bummed about that, and Connor is always around K.C, so I'm staying away from that."

"Well, maybe you can make new friends."

"The last new friend I made nearly killed the two of us, remember?"

"Okay, fair point. But this is your last year of high school; you shouldn't be spending it by yourself."

"I'll be fine. Besides, I can call you, Adam, or Alli whenever I'm lonely as long as it's not during school."

"But what if we all happen to be busy at the same time?"

Clare did not have a response to that statement, causing her to surrender in silence.

"Just become friends with a niner or something," he proposed.

"You really want me to have a social life this year, don't you?" she laughed.

"I want you to enjoy your senior year and be happy," he corrected.

"I am happy," she said before she plastered a huge smile on her face. "See?"

"Okay, okay. Just try to enjoy your last year of high school."

"I will," she said, although she knew she would be able to do this without making new friends. She took notice of the clock at the bottom right corner of her screen and saw that she still had to get breakfast before going off to school. She wished she could speak to Eli a bit longer than this, but time was her enemy this morning. "I should get going. Can I talk to you when I get home from work?"

"Definitely," he consented, now wanting to day to go faster. "Have fun at school."

"Okay," she said. "I love you."

"I love you too."

()()

Helen was crying by the time Clare left the house fifteen minutes later. She was sobbing that her youngest daughter was now a senior in high school, which resulted in an airtight embrace that took Clare time to get out of. After she broke free, she got on her bike and began peddling her way to the school. Minutes later, she secured her bike in one of the racks, climbed the stairs, and entered the Degrassi halls. She took a look around to take in the interior, knowing this was beginning of her final year in high school.

She went to the front office to get her schedule and locker information. She saw that she was going to be in an Advanced Placement English class since she was in Senior Advanced English last year and she needed to take a total of four English classes to graduate. She was glad that she would be having Miss Dawes again and that this class would count as a university credit.

Staring at her schedule, she went searching for her locker. As she moved down the hall, she noticed that she would have a Drama class this semester and Miss Hannigan would be teaching it again. Clare grinned, hoping that her senior year would still be enjoyable even though none of her best friends were there.

"Where's the welcoming committee?" a new yet familiar voice asked.

Clare quickly turned around and felt a smile spring to her lips seconds later.

"Alli!" she squealed before pulling her into a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I told my parents that I was ready to come back to Degrassi."

"And they agreed just like that?" Clare inquired in amazement, leaning out of the hug.

"It took some convincing. But if I get one more blemish on my record, I'm out of here for good."

Overjoyed, Clare pulled her into another hug and held her tightly in her arms. Alli, who was pleased to be back in this school again, reciprocated the action. They stood there in the middle of the hallway for a few seconds until they realized that people had to maneuver around them to get down the hall; they pulled apart, still smiling as they moved to the side.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"And ruin the surprise?" Alli smirked.

Clare smiled, amazed that her best friend was actually here in the Degrassi hallway with her and that she was going to be with her for the rest of their high school days.

"This is great. Now I won't be lonely for my senior year."

"Did you get your schedule yet?"

"Yeah," Clare said, showing it to Alli, who quickly got hers out. The two girls compared, seeing just how much time they would be spending together this term.

"We have all our classes together except third and fourth period," Alli pointed out.

"And we have study periods together."

They lowered their schedules and both looked at the hall in front of them, seeing many grade nines and a handful of familiar faces from their year. As they both looked down the aisle of lockers and took in the scene around them, they were beginning to feel the impact of the truth of this situation: they were seniors.

"This is our last year . . . then we're heading to university," Alli spoke. "Where did the years go?"

"I don't know, but I can't wait to get into the swing of things so that way time could speed up so I could graduate and go to university."

"And be with Eli," Alli finished, aware that Clare was planning on going to the University of Ottawa next fall.

"That's a bonus," Clare nodded.

"But, in the meantime, at least it's just the two of us enjoying the last year of high school together."

Clare smiled, jubilant that she and her best friend would be by her side as they journeyed through their senior year. Having Alli around may not have been the same as it would have been with Eli, but it was way better than being alone. The two girls locked arms and began going down the hall, ready to face their final year at Degrassi.

()()

Before they went to homeroom, they had to go to assembly for the whole school. It was there that Mr. Simpson announced that the students no longer had to wear the uniforms. Alli was ecstatic, proclaiming that she was having a run of good luck. Clare chuckled, also pleased that they did not have to wear the uniforms anymore.

Once the assembly was over, the students went to their homeroom classes and listened to their teachers go over that semester's syllabus with them. This repeated for every class, but Clare and Alli sat together in the back of the room so they could whisper back and forth or text each other without the teacher noticing.

The only classes they were unable to do this were the third and fourth periods, since Clare had to go to her AP English class and Drama while Alli went to her English and Art classes. When Clare arrived in Miss Dawes's classroom, she felt a twinge of disappointment when she remembered that Eli and Adam would not be in this room with her anymore. Trying not to dwell on it, she moved to the same seat she sat in for two years in a row and decided that she might as well sit there for her final year in this classroom.

It was not a large class; it was made up of fifteen students who Clare did not know very well or did not recognize. Miss Dawes stood in front of them, explaining what books they would be reading, what styles of writing they would be studying, and what they would be learning overall. Clare was instantly intrigued and was now ready to start focusing on these subjects, knowing it would take her mind off of anything else that could be occurring throughout the school year.

The bell rang at the end of class and everyone began filing out of the classroom. Clare gathered her belongings and was set on going to her Drama class until she heard a voice call her name.

"Clare, I'd like to talk to you for a second," Miss Dawes said before Clare could follow her peers out the door. Curious as to what her teacher would like to discuss with her on the first day of school, Clare walked up to her desk.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked before her mind realized what she was about to say.

"Not at all," Miss Dawes reassured almost instantly. "It's the opposite, in fact."

"Okay," she responded, unsure where this was leading.

"Clare, over the summer I went to a conference for English teachers in Toronto and one of the speakers mentioned a program for young writers; it's a three-month program which allows students from all over the world to meet, take writing courses, and get to learn about different cultures. The people running this have been doing it for ten years and everyone who has attended grew in their writing abilities in one way or another. However, they said this program could be a lot pressure for those who aren't cut out for it; they only want the brightest minds."

"And you think I can do it?" Clare affirmed, a grin coming to her face.

"Absolutely," Miss Dawes said. "The program is supposed to be for students attending university, but I was able to pull a few strings and I talked to Mr. Simpson about it, so now it's completely up to you if you wish to go or not."

Clare could not hold back her smile; the thought of someone believing she was good enough to attend a workshop that would be full of college students while she was still in high school made her confidence soar and she was grateful that her teacher saw the potential within her.

"Miss Dawes . . . thank you."

"You haven't heard the best part."

Miss Dawes opened a drawer in her desk and took out a brochure before handing it to Clare. It had a picture of William Shakespeare on the front; above his head were the words _Aspiring Writer's International Workshop. _Below the title in smaller writer read the location where the program would be taking place; at the sight of it, Clare's heart skipped a beat.

"L-London? As in London, England?" she asked, not sure if she had just fallen into a dream.

"The very same," Miss Dawes nodded. "Are you interested?"

Going to England was one of the many goals she wanted to accomplish in her lifetime, but she thought that she would do it later on after she wrote a book or after she and Eli were married. She never imagined being able to go there to study, and now the opportunity to go was right in front of her and she knew she would have been out of her mind to reject it.

"I'm _really_ interested," she answered, trying to hold back her enthusiasm.

"Well, just talk to your parents about it, give it some thought, and just let me know as soon as you can. All the details are in the brochure, but feel free to ask me if you have any other questions."

"I will, thank you," Clare acknowledged, her voice drowning in joy.

Her mind in frenzy, Clare walked out of the room, her eyes transfixed on the brochure in front of her. There had been very few times she had been this excited in her life; the idea of going to England to learn about writing was basically a dream come true. She would have to talk to her parents and find a way to get enough money to pay without using up all the money in her savings, but besides that she could not see anything holding her back from this adventure.

()()

"I didn't know so many people at Degrassi missed me," Alli said as they went through the lunch line a few hours later. "Dave, Jenna, some of the teachers; I had no idea so many people still remembered me."

"Well, you're not exactly forgettable."

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing," she stated, the two of them paying for their lunches before sitting down at an empty table. "How's your first day as a senior going?"

"I have to show you this," Clare said, delighted that she could share her news with someone. She took the brochure that Miss Dawes gave her out of her binder and passed it to Alli, who only had to look at it for a couple seconds when her jaw dropped and eyes widened.

"No way!" she vociferated. "England?"

"Yep," Clare smiled. She quickly told Alli everything that she learned from her teacher and did not bother to hide how excited she was. This was probably the only time this circumstance could present itself to her, thus she did not think it was necessary to put a filter on her emotions. "I really can't believe it. If I get all the money together and everything, I will be studying in England in six months."

"This is amazing, Clare," Alli acclaimed, smiling that her friend had this chance. "But what about Eli?"

"What about him?"

Alli's ardent face transformed, eyes widening and expression becoming stunned. She was shocked that Clare had not thought about Eli's feelings yet; usually that would have been the first thing to cross her mind.

"Don't you think you should talk to him about this?"

"You mean like ask his permission to go?" she clarified, not believing Alli could have been suggesting that.

"No," she responded. "But you guys are a couple and you leaving the country could hurt your relationship."

"It won't."

"You really think so? You're going to be three thousand miles away."

"We're already five hours away from each other. Talking on the phone and on Skype won't be that different."

"Hello! Time differences!" Alli reminded. "England's like five hours ahead of us; you guys will barely find time to talk."

"We'll talk once a day or something," Clare said. "He and I will figure something out."

"Have you thought about how this could affect him?"

"I know Eli," Clare told her. "He'll be supportive of this."

"Yeah, he probably would be if he was still here; but he's in Ottawa now and he might be worried about losing you when you're in England."

"Come on, Eli knows that I'm not going to leave him."

"Does he?"

"Yes. I've told him this a million times and I promised him before he left that we won't break up."

Alli sighed, determined to figure out a way to get Clare to convince her that she and Eli should have a talk about this situation.

"He's told you before that he's not going to leave you, right?"

"Yeah," Clare said as Alli handed the brochure back to her.

"What if he was the one who told you he was going to England? Wouldn't you be a bit worried that someone else could come along?"

Clare breathed out, knowing that Alli had a point. She would be jealous that Eli would be going to this country while she stayed behind and, on top of that, she would feel threatened by any girls who could have made an attempt to flirt with him. He would be far away and having a good time while she was here, but that would not be much of a change for her since she had been living that sort of life for almost ten days. She would also not ask Eli to stay in Canada if he was able to go to England and she really believed that he would not ask the same of her.

"Okay, I see your point, but I can't just pass this up. I've always wanted to go to England and I probably won't have a chance like this again."

"That's why you should talk to Eli and at least think of how he feels about it before you decide to go."

Clare understood why Alli would see that she had to talk about this with Eli, but at the same time she wished that she would butt out a little. She loved Eli, but unless he begged her not to, she would go to England. This was a dream of hers and she hoped that he would not ask her to stay behind. She could comprehend why he would be worried about them if she did go, yet she was hoping that she could convince him that everything would be alright between them and that he had nothing to worry about.

"This could be really good for my future, Alli. I'm going to talk to Eli about it, but it's more than likely that I'll end up going."

"And what if he asks you not to?"

"He won't ask me that."

"Welcome back, Alli," a brand new voice said, interrupting their conversation. The girls turned their heads to see K.C standing next to their table. Clare quickly averted her eyes from him and stared at the brochure in front of her. She did want her and Alli's discussion about Eli and England to stop, but now she wished that it kept going just so she would not have to hear her ex-boyfriend's voice.

"Thanks, K.C," Alli replied, taking notice of Clare's behavior.

"How was your summer, Clare?" he then asked her.

"Fine," she answered emotionlessly, not moving her eyes.

"Good. So . . . I'll see you girls around?"

"Sounds good," Alli nodded.

K.C turned to Clare, waiting for her reply; when she did not speak a word, he muttered "alright" and walked away.

"What was that?" Alli then hissed at Clare.

"What was what?" she asked, finally breaking gaze with her brochure.

"You just gave K.C the cold shoulder."

"Did I?" Clare said, not really caring.

Alli sighed, disbelieved that Clare was still resentful towards K.C even though she was now planning on getting married and everything should have been in the past by this point.

"Clare, everything with Jenna happened two years ago and you're with Eli now. Why are you still avoiding K.C?"

"I'm over the fact that he left me for another girl."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Last year, when he would come up to me at times just to tell me that Eli and I are for each other."

"Okay, he's delusional; that's no reason to hate his guts."

"Debatable," Clare retorted. "But we're not talking about him."

"You're right," Alli said. "We're talking about your future husband."

Clare rolled her eyes, restoring her wish for Alli stop talking to her about this. She had already started feeling uneasy when her best friend started mentioning all of this and she did not want to hear anymore.

"Clare, what if Eli is really upset that you're going?"

"If he's really upset about it and if I find out that he really, really, _really_ doesn't want me to leave, I'll consider staying."

"And if he says that he's fine with it, but really isn't?"

"I'll talk to him tonight, okay?" Clare snapped. "We'll figure it out from there."

()()

Alli did not bring up the situation about England again, much to Clare's relief. She apologized for barking at her at lunch, but she was still agitated that she said something in the first place, which led to her pleasant mood melt away. By the end of the day, she was just pleased to sit at home for a while before going to work so she would not have to think about anything outside her job.

Clare was now sitting in her room, waiting for Eli to come online so they could Skype. To pass the time and prepare herself for telling Eli the news, she read over the brochure that Miss Dawes gave her. According to the pamphlet, she would have to write an essay about why she would like to go, an original story, and a review on a play by Shakespeare. She also had to have enough money to pay for her plane ticket plus other purchases; the program would be paying for the hotel she would be staying in, but everything else had to be paid for by her.

She continued reading and noticed that she would have weekends off, which would give her time to go sightseeing. She would leave on the day before New Year's Eve and should arrive there on the thirty-first of December. After she landed in London, she would meet with all the other students who were in the program and then they would go on to the hotel. The workshop would begin at a local university in London the day after New Year's and the students would be learning about authors, their writing techniques, and then they will eventually learn to improve their skills. Over time, they would be able to write some of their own pieces, which could potentially be published in local newspapers or magazines if the mentors running the classes approved them. The program would continue for three months and she would return home on the second of April.

She was in complete awe of what was in front of her and that the chance to experience it was staring her right in the face. She tried her best to be as excited as she was hours ago before she told Alli, but it seemed that she was unable to. Clare could not reach the same level of enthusiasm prior to that point in time because Eli kept coming to her head and all she could imagine was him telling her that he did not want her to go. She knew that Eli was more supportive than her mind was giving him credit for, but she also could not help but think about what Alli said at lunch.

"_He'll be supportive of this,"_ Clare had said.

_ "Yeah, he probably would be if he was still here; but he's in Ottawa now and he might be worried about losing you when you're in England."_

He was already worried about them having problems and she did not want to give him another reason to increase that fear, but she did not know if she would ever have another chance to see England, let alone study there. Her insides were cold with worry while her heart tried to give her warm blood to balance out her body temperature; she really wanted Eli to be supportive, but the idea of him actually asking her not to go was very disconcerting. She had always known him to be the loving, understanding person she saw every day, and the unfortunate reality that he could have another side worried her.

If she went, she would have to tell him. But even if she did not mention it to him and threw away the opportunity completely, she knew that it would eventually come up in conversation or in a fight they could have in the future. Plus, they promised to always be honest with each other and she knew that Eli would be enraged if she kept this from him.

Seeing that it was better to get this over with, Clare took a breath and turned back to her laptop, expecting Eli to be online by now. When she saw that he was not, she was slightly relieved that she could prolong telling him for some time. Taking advantage of this moment, Clare closed her eyes and breathed in a large gulp of air before exhaling.

"Eli, I'm going to London for three months . . . no," she started, not approving of the way she said this. "Eli, I love you, but – no. Eli, I may be going to London for a writing program; it's three months, but it doesn't mean anything is going to –."

She did not have a chance to rehearse anymore, because she saw that Eli was trying to call her through Skype. Her nerves went wild, wishing that she could stabilize her mind and calm down before Eli realized how jittery she was. Clare swallowed before going to video chat, still preparing herself to tell him what she found out that day.

"Hey," she greeted, seeing his face.

"Hi," he replied.

"How was your day?" she asked, determined to avoid telling him her news for as long as possible.

"It was okay," he answered. "I'm just glad I can talk to you now."

Clare grinned, wishing that the feeling was completely mutual. She was happy to talk to Eli again, but she was too worried about his reaction to be completely thrilled about speaking to him.

"How was your first day?"

Clare gulped, wishing that she had more time to practice what she had to say. She began to talk, hoping to ease into this discussion and delay it for as long as possible.

"Well . . . um . . . a fair few things have happened."

"Like what?" he asked.

"Alli's back at school with me."

"Really?" he said, pleased that his girlfriend would have a friend at Degrassi during her last year.

"Yeah, her parents said she could come back."

"That's great!"

"And . . . I'm in an AP English class."

"No way," he grinned. He always said that Clare was intelligent, considering she had been in advanced classes before, but this was probably phenomenal to her.

"Yeah," she answered. "Since I was in Senior English last year, this was the only class they could put me in."

"I told you that you were smart!" he congratulated with a grin.

Clare blushed, somewhat wishing that this was the end of her story.

"Anything else happen?"

"They decided not to have the uniforms anymore."

"What?" he emitted, slightly annoyed that the faculty would come to that decision _after _he graduated.

"Yep," Clare said, chuckling at the look on Eli's face.

"That is typical; damn my curse."

"Your curse?" she repeated.

"The curse known as unfortunate timing," he specified.

"Oh," Clare said, seeing how he could classify his bad luck as a curse.

"Anyway," he said. "Anything else super exciting happen?"

Clare licked her top lip and felt as though a ton of bricks was sitting on her chest. She breathed in through her nose, knowing that this would be the best time for her to tell him.

"There's . . . a bit more news," she began.

"Go on," Eli encouraged.

Clare took a breath, hoping that her boyfriend would be supportive like he always was and not choose this time to show the antipode.

"There's this workshop that Miss Dawes told me about; it's for young writers to learn more and actually get their work published in local newspapers and stuff. It's meant to be for university students, but Miss Dawes thought I'm smart enough to do it."

"Are you thinking about going?" he asked, excitement for his girlfriend beginning to go through his veins.

"I'm really considering it," Clare answered, wishing that she could lie and tell him that she was unsure.

A huge smile met Eli's lips and clasped his hands together in amazement.

"That's incredible! I'm so proud of you!" he exclaimed, not being able to hold in his happiness.

"Thanks," she grinned, knowing that she had yet to deliver the rest of the news.

"What did your mom say when you told her?"

"Um . . . I actually haven't told her yet."

"Why not?" he asked, shocked that she did not tell Helen about this already.

"Because, as my future husband, I wanted to talk to you about it first to see if I should go."

"Clare, you don't have to ask if it's okay for you –."

"I do," she protested. "It's not one of those programs that I go to for a weekend."

"Then what kind is it?"

"For one, it's three months long."

"So? That's not too long and it's not like we're never going to see each other."

"But it's . . ."

Clare rolled her lips, ready to drop the bombshell that could change Eli's outlook on this situation.

"It's in England."

Any features of joy melted away from Eli's face. He felt his heart drop and any warmth he felt that day turned ice-cold. He desperately wanted to feel nothing but excitement for Clare at this point, but that was not completely possible. They already had a bump in the road and they were not even two weeks along in this long-distance relationship; Clare leaving the country could put a strain on them and possibly even put all of their effort in jeopardy.

She noticed his facial expressions, which worried her instantly. She expected Eli to be shocked, but it was not only shock on his face; he looked disappointed. She wanted to see that smile on his face again as he told her that she should go and not have any hesitation with it whatsoever; this was not going to be the case.

"What are you thinking?"

"I don't know," he answered. "I'm surprised."

"And . . .?"

Eli did not speak, which made Clare realize how much was going through his head.

"This is why I wanted to talk to you about it first."

He was definitely conflicted; he was worried enough as it is and he was terrified that this could end him and Clare, but telling her how he really felt would probably cause them to break up in the end anyway or at least lead them into a fight. It was a lose-lose situation and Eli did not know which one he would rather face; either risk losing Clare while she was away and happy or risk losing her while she was at home and saddened.

"Please say something, Eli," her voice said, cutting him out of his thoughts.

"We're so far apart already," he said, speaking what was on his mind.

"I know, but we're making long-distance work so far."

"But . . . this is for three months and you're going to be in a different country."

"It's not like I'm moving there," she eased him. "I'm just going for a few months to learn about writing, I'll come back, and then we can get everything back to normal."

"And what if you decide that you want to study over there instead of Ottawa?"

"Even though I think it would be interesting to go to university in England, I don't want to be that far away from home. Driving for five hours is one thing, but spending money on plane tickets to visit is another. It's going to be for no more than three months and then I'm going to come back home, finish my last few months at Degrassi, and then go to Ottawa; this isn't going to change any of our plans."

Eli rolled his lips, not completely persuaded. He wanted Clare to go so she could attend this program; this was a once in a lifetime chance and she deserved to experience it. On the flipside, they were already in this long-distance relationship and putting a whole ocean between them could put pressure on them. It did not matter how many times she told him that everything would work out; it would still be a possibility, no matter how small.

Seeing his face, Clare apprehended that she could not leave without Eli's blessing. Originally, she would have talked to him about it and tried to console him of any uncertainty from him; now she did not see that as the best idea. She needed to know that he would come to terms with her leaving and eventually be able to be excited for her.

"Listen, if you don't want me to go –."

"I do," Eli spoke immediately. "I'm just . . . I'm worried."

"About what?" she asked, although she had a decent idea.

Eli was still for a moment, hoping that Clare would not be hurt by anything that would leave his mouth and that she would understand.

"You're going to be in a different country, you're going to be busy, we won't have time to talk, and . . . there's . . ."

"English boys?" she guessed.

Those two simple words made Eli shudder. He had never been out of Canada, let alone across the Atlantic, so he did not know just how different the people were over there. However, he was terrified that one of them would win Clare's heart and she would leave him for one of them.

"Nothing's going to happen," she promised him. "I'm going there to learn and to see a different country; romance is not even going to cross my mind unless we're studying it or if I'm talking to you."

"And if we don't talk enough and we start having issues?"

"We'll find time to talk."

"But –."

"You're the love of my life, Eli; three thousand miles isn't going to change that."

"It could."

"It won't," she restated. "It's only three months and this could be really, really good for my future."

"And what about _our_ future?" he accidentally shouted.

Clare bit her lip, seeing a side of Eli that she rarely saw. In fact, he had not acted like this since March when he started becoming really clingy after he first gave her the promise ring that still rested on her finger. It frightened her, for she did not want them to go back to those days. During that time, Eli thought what he was doing would help their future, when in reality he was just making Clare on edge and doubtful. She did not feel that way now, of course, but she did not want to return to that in any way.

Eli noticed the fright in her eyes and he instantly wished that he did attack her like that.

"I'm sorry. I'm just . . . it's going to be harder on us than it already is."

"I'm not going to be away that long."

"We've only been away from each other for a week and it already feels like it's been an eternity since we've seen each other."

"I know, but if anything this will help us."

"How?" he asked, trying not to sound bitter.

"Well, I'm not going to break up with you and you're not going to break up with me, so that's nothing to worry about. And this will look good on my application for Ottawa, so that means I will have a better chance of getting accepted and we won't have to be apart like this again."

Eli listened to her, trying to put his emotions on the backburner and attempting to focus on Clare and what this could mean for them. Attending this workshop would help her as a writer and it would allow her to see more of the world. He would be scared, he would miss her, and he would be frustrated because he would not be able to talk to her as much as he did now, but this was not about him. She was upset about having a long-distance relationship, and yet she had been willing to go through with it so he could go to this university; it would not have been fair on her if she turned down a trip England because of him.

"The only thing that matters is if you want to go," he then stated.

"Well, it's just –."

"Clare, do you want to go?" he repeated.

Clare silently hoped that Eli would not think that she was putting their relationship below this, because nothing was more important to her than her relationship with him.

"Yes."

"Then you should go," Eli declared.

"What about you?"

"It doesn't matter. This is a great opportunity for you and if you don't go, you'll regret it."

"I'm still not a hundred percent sure if I'll be able to go," she told him. "I have to get money together for it and I have to fill out a lot of forms, get a passport, write some essays, and all this other stuff."

"Well, if you can, you should."

"You really think so?" she asked, knowing that this decision would affect both of them.

Eli nodded.

"I'll miss you a lot more, but I'll survive," he said.

"I'll miss you too," she reciprocated.

Eli tried to be happy for her and to encourage her to go just like she encouraged him to go to Ottawa, but he was still slightly apprehensive about the whole idea.

"This won't change anything between us, right?" he asked.

"Of course not," Clare said. "I'll still call, Skype, and everything; we just won't be able to visit each other until I get back."

"But can we still go on long-distance dates?"

"Definitely," she nodded. "And I'll send you pictures and postcards and I'll bring back souvenirs."

"Promise?" he smirked, hoping to brighten the situation.

Clare chuckled, loving how he was trying to be positive now.

"Yes," she said. "Also, it should be around spring break by the time I get home. How about you and I take that time to catch up and spend some time together?"

Eli's lips turned up a bit, this proposal heightening his spirits.

"That sounds really good."

"Okay," she smiled. "And, if I do decide to go, I still have another five months until I have to leave; we can see each other a lot between now and then."

"In that case, I'll try to stay on top of my homework so I don't have to worry about it on weekends so I could eventually come to visit."

"And I need to come up there whenever neither of us is busy."

"We'll figure something out," he said, gazing at her eyes on the screen.

"Are you sure you're okay with me going?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said. "I'm still a bit shocked, but I'll be fine by the time that settles in."

"Good," she said, relieved that he would be alright eventually.

"And I'm really am happy you're going to go; it's just that I'm going to have to get used to you being farther away."

Clare grinned, pleased that he was happy for her and that his other side was gone. She was no longer afraid about Eli being upset, asking her to stay, or not being supportive. She just had to remember that by the end of the day, Eli was still Eli, and all he wanted was for her to be happy.

* * *

"_Everything I know and anywhere I go_

_It gets hard but it won't take away my love"_

_~"Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down_

* * *

*Whistles innocently while thinking about what's to come*

So guys, I start school on Friday (going into my senior year), so I'll try my best to update at least once a week, but I can't make promises.

Remember to check out the work of AndySixxElijahh3xx!

Reviews?


	113. If It Means a Lot to You

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you all for the always fantastic reviews! As always, they brought a smile to my face and made my glum days better. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or anything related to _Love Actually._

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Thirteen

If It Means a Lot to You

"So you're really going to England?" Adam asked as Clare walked down the street that Wednesday. This was the first time the two friends had a chance to talk for a few days, so they both took advantage of the opportunity in front of them as Clare walked to Degrassi and Adam sat in his room. Evidently, Eli told Adam about how she was possibly going to England to study for a quarter of a year and he was completely envious of her opportunity.

"Yes, Adam," she responded. She made her final decision the night before after a long conversation with Helen and she texted Eli immediately afterwards. He seemed to be genuinely excited for her, but she knew her boyfriend well enough to know that he could have just been doing this to be supportive while he was really unhappy about it. "Uh . . . has Eli talked to you about this at all?"

"Yeah, he said he was glad that you're going."

"Really?" Clare asked, not sure to completely believe this or not.

"Yes," Adam said. "Why? Do you think he's lying about it?"

"No, I'm sure he is happy about it; I'm just worried that there's another side to this."

"Clare, Eli knows you love him," he attempted to reason. "Don't give him a reason to think otherwise and everything will be fine."

"I don't know. I told him last night that I was going for definite and something didn't seem quite right."

"It's probably just the change. You both are already three hundred miles apart and then soon you're going to be farther apart; it's more stuff to get used to."

"Then why aren't you feeling the same way he is?"

"Because he's the one who wants to have lots of sex and babies with you, not me."

"_Adam_!" Clare shrieked.

"Oh you know it's true," he said.

Clare rolled her eyes.

"I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, bye," he replied, still smiling at what he said.

Clare hung up her phone and put it in her pocket before going up the steps of Degrassi. She was pleased that she was going to England for sure now and that she had the encouragement of her friends and family. Unfortunately, she could not help but wonder if the support of one of the people she loved most was legitimate. Eli was pleased when she told him that her parents have permitted her to go, but to her it seemed that his reaction was rehearsed and untruthful. When she told him about the workshop on Monday – before she mentioned where it was – he seemed genuinely enthusiastic, but now it did not seem that way. Praying that she was just imagining his reaction and that he was being honest with her, she entered the halls and was prepared for whatever the day brought her.

()()

During her morning study period, Clare was focusing on the screen in front of her, glancing at the notes she had in her notebook every couple of seconds. She told Miss Dawes that she would be going to England and that was when her teacher informed her that she would need to have all her essays and forms filled in and sent to England by no later than the second of November. After receiving this information, Clare went straight to the media lap during her morning study period to immediately begin working on her assignments. She was determined to get most of her essay about why she would like to attend this workshop completed by the end of the week, considering it had to be three pages long and had to include a bit of information about herself and her interest in writing. She had brainstormed some ideas already and she was concentrating on expressing them in words.

"Hey."

Clare was taken aback to hear that the voice was male, considering the two boys she talked to no longer attend Degrassi. She turned her head to see K.C taking a seat at the computer next to her. Rolling her eyes, she pretended as though she did not see him and continued typing.

"What are you working on?" he asked.

"Nothing," she answered.

"Really? Because it looks like you're typing fiercely."

Clare continued pressing the keys, determined to focus on her essay. As K.C turned to his computer and began to navigate his way on it, she believed that he was through talking to her. She kept writing, hoping to get as much as possible out of this one sitting without making the work feel rushed.

"So . . ." K.C spoke, causing Clare to come out of her frame of mind. "Word is that you're going to England."

"Who told you that?" she asked indifferently, speaking only so she would not act too cold.

"I heard it through the grapevine," he shrugged. "You excited to go?"

"Yeah," she answered, annoyed that she would not be able to focus on her essay anymore.

"How did Eli take the news?"

Clare learned many lessons during her junior year of Degrassi, and one of them was that whenever K.C talked about Eli, it would be best to leave the situation immediately so he would not have the chance to fill her with anger. Aggravated that she would have to work on her essay another time, she saved her file to her flash drive, retrieved it, and gathered her belongings before leaving the room.

She was furious that K.C entered this sensitive territory, but now all her disrupted emotions about Eli's feelings towards England had become more intense. Clare began traveling down the hall, desperate to get away from the world and have a minute alone. To her dismay, having a minute by herself would not be a possibility. She heard footsteps behind her as though they were in a hurry to catch up with her; when she looked over her shoulder, she saw K.C and she instantly turned her head back to the front. Although she could not see him, she could still hear his words.

"Is he not happy about it?"

"I never said that," she said before he started making logical yet untrue conclusions like he did last year.

"Then what is going on?"

"He's glad I'm going; I just don't see how me going to England concerns you."

"Okay," he accepted, catching up to her. She kept her head forward and tried to get to the closest girl's restroom just so she could evade K.C. "So are things between you and Eli going alright?"

In her opinion, she did not want to waste her breath about anything with K.C, not even her boyfriend. Holding her tongue, however, was probably not the wisest thing she could have done. K.C took her silence to mean that everything was not going well in the relationship and he decided to speak.

"Look, I get it; things are going to get rough at times in relationships."

"Gee, I didn't know," Clare snapped sarcastically.

"I'm just saying if you two are having issues about –."

"We're not having issues," she nearly shouted. "We're just far away."

"And you guys are doing fine?"

"Yes," she said forcefully, hoping it would be enough for him to leave her alone.

It was not.

"Okay, he said. "But, just to let you know, you can come to me if you ever need to talk or vent."

Clare let out a bark of sarcastic laughter; she would rather talk to her future stepmother and stepsister before talking to K.C about Eli . . . or anything else for that matter.

K.C was slightly stung and irritated from her laugh, but he swallowed his pride and continued.

"I'm just saying that Jenna and I have been through stuff, so if you need to talk about anything, I know how it feels and so maybe I could help."

Enraged that he brought up Jenna and had the gall to say that he knew what she was going through, Clare stopped. Blood was going to her face out of anger instead of a blush like usual; she turned to K.C, who was shocked to see her so infuriated.

"Listen to me and listen well!" she ordered. "You _don't_ know what it feels like to have the person you love three hundred miles away, not knowing if they're doing fine or if they're just telling you that so you don't worry about them, or what it feels like to not know if something can go wrong at any second! And don't you _dare_ say that you and Jenna are having problems! At least she's still here so you can talk to her, or hold her, or do whatever you want with her! When one of you is three hundred miles away and you feel like there's something wrong every two seconds, then you can tell me that you know how it feels!"

Tears stinging her eyes as she spoke how she really felt about this long-distance relationship, she took a breath and turned around to begin walking down the hall. She left K.C behind her, not caring how he felt. All she cared about was that she was in pain and she only wanted to be in Eli's arms until everything was better.

She traveled until she was in the girl's bathroom and was in a stall, trying to catch her breath. Clare tried to wipe away the tears that had fallen on her face in her pursuit to get away from K.C, wishing that her boyfriend was there to clear them from her cheeks. Hands shaking, Clare put one of her hands around the guitar pick on Eli's necklace while she put the other one in her pocket to pull out her phone. She went to her photos, wanting to give herself some closure by seeing the face of her future husband.

She scrolled through the pictures she had collected ever since she had this phone and she was kind of surprised that so many of them were of Eli or of them together. One of the most recent was one of him sleeping, which she took one morning while she was staying over at his one time during the summer. The one right after was one of him giving her phone a tired smile minutes later. She grinned, recalling his unsuccessful attempt to delete the pictures and how that eventually led to an early morning make-out session between the two of them.

Feeling slightly better yet still very low, Clare found another picture of Eli from one of their last days at school and he was giving her a lopsided smile as they studied. This helped her smile a bit more, but it also made her long for him to be here with her. Inhaling, she cleared away the rest of the tears from her face and put her phone away, hoping that she would be back in Eli's arms someday soon.

()()

During lunch, Clare sat at the table she and Alli have been sitting at for the last few days. Alli was still in the lunch line while she sat there, moving her salad around with her fork. She was no longer affected by what happened that morning and how she cried in the bathroom over it; instead, she had more on her mind. She tried to shake her worries, but it was hopeless. All she thought about was Eli and how he claimed to be fine with her going to England while all these doubts circulated in her mind. Was he telling her that he was happy that she was going but it was really tearing him apart? Was he just saying what she was hoping to hear? He seemed too shaken up about it when she first told him to simply let it go and not worry about it. He may have been supportive, but that did not mean that he was fine with the situation.

Needing to confirm her suspicions, she pulled out her phone and she was calling Eli within seconds. She knew that he had a free period at this time, so she was hoping that he would answer and put her worries to rest.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hi," she said, pleased that he was able to talk. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No, I'm just having some lunch while doing some homework. What's up with you?"

"Sitting at lunch," she replied. "How's your day been?"

"Long, but I only have one class left and then work and then I should be free for the rest of the night after homework. How about you?"

"It's fine. I've been working on one of my essays for England, but it's slowly getting there."

"Well, if you want me to edit it, I'll gladly do that."

"I might actually take you up on that," she said, highly tempted to accept that offer because she wanted the essay to be absolutely perfect.

"Then send it over to me when you're done and I'll work my magic."

"Thanks," she bade, pleased that he was willing to help her. He was being helpful and it was incredible that he volunteered to do this, which made her wonder if maybe she was wrong about him feeling uncomfortable with her going to England or if this was his way of covering up his feelings. Desperate to know for sure, Clare took a breath before talking to Eli again. "Um, Eli, I actually I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay, what is it?"

"Are you completely sure you're okay with me going to England?"

"Of course I am," Eli assured her. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," she said, hoping that he was being honest. "I guess I just wanted to be sure because it's so far away and everything."

"But, like you told me, it's only three months and we'll be spending spring break together, so it's not the end of the world."

"You're not just telling me this, are you?"

"Clare, we promised each other that we would be honest; if I wasn't fine about it, I would tell you."

"So you're a hundred and fifty percent sure that you don't mind me going to England for three whole months?"

"As long as we don't break up because of it, I'm completely fine with it."

Clare exhaled in relief, feeling more secure in what Eli was telling her now.

"Okay," she accepted. "I'm glad to hear that."

"You're still bringing back souvenirs, right?" he said, trying to his tone clear so she could be aware of the smirk he was wearing. Clare chuckled, imagining Eli's lips in her head as she heard this.

"Yes."

"Then I think I will survive."

Clare smiled and then noticed how Alli was coming to the table.

"Sorry, I have to go," she said.

"It's cool. I'll try to text you tonight if I'm not drowning in homework," he told her.

"Alright," she said. "I love you."

"I love you," he reciprocated.

Grinning, Clare hung up her phone and put it back in her pocket before taking a bite of her salad. Alli sat across from her and noticed the pleasant mood Clare was now in; it was a complete contrast to how she was before lunch started.

"Let me guess . . . you just got done talking to Eli?"

"How could you tell?" she smiled.

"You're blushing and smiling like crazy."

She grinned and shrugged her shoulders; she was pleased that she talked to Eli and that he relieved her of any of her uncertainties, and now she was glad to continue on with her life.

"Are you still avoiding K.C?" Alli suddenly asked as she saw him pass their table with a couple of his friends.

"Yep," Clare answered.

"Has he tried talking to you again?"

"Yes he has, but I'm trying to do all I can so it doesn't happen anymore."

"What did he say?"

"He tried talking to me about Eli and he started saying that he knew how I felt when he actually doesn't," Clare explained, trying not to let her anger boil inside her again.

"Maybe he was just trying to be nice," Alli stated.

"Or maybe he was about to say stuff about Eli again."

"Or maybe it's something else entirely."

"Like what?" she inquired.

Alli was quiet for a moment; she did a quick glance over the cafeteria to be sure that nobody would be able to hear them before turning to Clare again. She had an uneasy feeling as to where this would lead, but her curiosity triumphed over her other emotions.

"I was talking to Jenna this morning and it turns out that she and K.C have been having problems since their son was born."

"What do you mean by problems?"

"Well, they've been fighting a lot, they're both stressed out, and things like that. They've tried to keep it together for the baby but, over the summer, they got into a really huge fight and broke up."

Clare's heart took a painful leap, definitely not expecting this. From what she observed from watching on the sidelines, K.C and Jenna had been doing fine despite the fact that they had a baby at home. Hearing this news was definitely a shock since everything seemed to be fine with them. She may not have been the biggest fan of K.C, but he did not want his child to suffer for his parents' fighting.

"How bad was the breakup?"

"Pretty bad," she replied. "And the upsetting thing is that K.C still really loves Jenna."

"How do you know?"

"I heard him say it to Connor. The thing is that she told me that she's over him."

"Really?" she asked, not believing it. She could not comprehend how someone was able to bury their feelings for the person they loved in such a short space of time after everything they had been through. If she did not have so many adverse feelings towards K.C, she probably would have felt sorry for him. "Wait, if K.C is still not over Jenna, why does he suddenly want to start talking to me?"

"It's kind of obvious, Clare," Alli sighed, knowing that she would catch on soon enough.

She knew what Alli was implying, but she did not want to admit it to be true. But it seemed to fit the circumstances, no matter how much she wished to deny it.

"You think K.C is using me to make Jenna jealous?"

"That's what Jenna thinks; she saw the way he kept staring at you in Physics."

"He was staring at me?" she said, appalled that he would do such a thing while she was in a relationship.

"Oh yeah," Alli said, amazed that Clare did not see it. "I don't know how you didn't notice."

Clare growled and looked down at her lunch, feeling dirty even though she did not do anything wrong.

"Why would he pick me? There are other girls in this school who are available; it would make more sense to flirt with someone who actually gets along with him."

"Think about it," Alli instructed. "Remember how you hated Kate because, in a messed up sense, she was Eli's ex?"

"Yeah," Clare responded, her skin crawling at the name.

"Well, I think K.C's going with that same approach. And the fact that you're in a long-distance relationship plays to his advantage."

"How?"

"You love Eli and that means that you won't get feelings for K.C while he's trying to get Jenna back; and, with Eli gone, there's nothing stopping him from doing it."

Clare looked down at her tray and shook her head, angered and irritated. K.C did not have the right to do this to her while she was already in a delicate situation with her boyfriend. He could not use her like this, nor could he expect her to go along with it just to get back the girl he left her for in the first place.

"What should I do?" she asked, looking back up at Alli.

"If he tries talking to you again, set him straight. Otherwise, just leave him alone and get on with your life."

Clare did not see what else there was to do unless she confronted K.C herself, but she did not want to start drama or cause commotions. She hoped that he would eventually stop trying to speak to her, even though she knew that could be a long shot. She turned her head to see K.C at his table talking to Connor; wishing that he would keep himself as far away from her as possible, she turned back to her lunch and tried to pretend that everything was completely fine.

()()

Later that evening, Eli was leaning back on the wall next to his bed as he began typing on his laptop. He had three papers due by next week and he wanted to get each of them started so he would not get behind. He found a strategy to balance his classes, homework, job, and talking to his parents, Adam, and Clare. It had been working for him thus far and he did not plan on messing it up. He was typing furiously, glad that he was almost done with his paper for Shakespearean Literature. He did not want to say that he was stressed but, with all the work he had and all the thoughts he had in his head, he knew that it was the best way to describe his current situation. He had his ways of coping with it, but he knew that there would not be a greater relief than going back home for a couple of days. All he had to do now was find the time to do this.

"How you doing, buddy?" Cathy asked, suddenly stepping inside the room and tossing her bag on Josh's bed; since she and her roommate were not exactly friends, she made it a priority to spend as much time with Eli and Josh as possible (even if that meant doing all her homework in their room).

"I'm okay," Eli asked, rubbing a pain he had in his upper left arm. "Just finishing up this essay."

"Great," she said as she took a seat on Josh's bed and took out her books. "Have you heard from Clare lately?"

"Yeah, I talked to her a few hours ago."

"How's she doing?"

"Good, but she has to write all these essays so she can go to that workshop and she has work on top of that, so I think she has a bit on her plate."

"Maybe now she knows how we feel with all the homework we have," she jested, wishing that she could relax tonight instead of studying and doing work.

"I guess," he shrugged. "But she's only doing half of that work so she can go to England."

"Is she looking forward to it?" Cathy asked, procrastinating on her work.

"Yeah, she's looking forward to it alright," Eli answered, practically pounding his keyboard with his fingers.

"Is she talking to you about it all the time?"

"Just about," he nodded, recalling how she would not stop talking about it for two seconds when he Skyped with her the night before. He tried to not let it affect him since she just found out that she would be able to go if she saved enough money, but it still sat uneasily in him. He kept his face nonchalant about everything and tried his hardest to sound happy for her, but everything inside him was feeling the opposite of what he was presenting.

"I'm sure she's just excited to go."

"Yep, she was excited for me to come here, she's excited to go to England, she's excited about everything."

"Eli, are you okay? You're acting irritable."

"I'm _not _irritable."

"Then what's with you?"

"I just hear enough about this England stuff from Clare and our friend Adam; I really don't need to hear about it everything three seconds."

"Okay, sorry," Cathy said, hearing the bitterness in his voice. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that you weren't happy about this."

"She's my girlfriend; of course I'm happy for her."

"But there's a difference between being happy _for her_ and actually being _happy_."

"I am happy," Eli repeated, all these emotions inside him beginning to rage.

"Good."

"I mean, so what if she's going to a country on the other side of the world for three months and she's going to be five hours ahead of us so we won't have many chances to talk? That's no big deal. And she's going to be surrounded by people from all over the world who are smart, interesting, and in university and they'll probably flirt with her and everything, but that's not a problem. She's going over there to study, and it's not like she's going to make new friends there. And if she does, who cares? She deserves to go out on the limb, be adventurous, have some fun, and completely risk destroying our relationship in the process. But, you know, that's great! As long as she's happy!"

Eli made the attempt to keep his voice at the same volume, but it had actually increased the longer he spoke. He had actually forgotten at one point that Cathy was there since he was becoming controlled by all the words that were spilling out of his mouth that did not seem to stop.

"Yeah, you're really pleased that she's going," Cathy said with sarcasm.

"I'm fine," Eli assured her, his antipathy still making itself present. "Really, I'm fine. I just miss her, that's all."

Cathy shook her head, not believing him in the slightest.

"I may not be the biggest expert on relationships, but I think this is more than you simply missing her."

"No, that's it," he said, trying to work on his essay again.

"But if you just missed her, you wouldn't be ranting about all the bad things that could happen while she's away."

"A long-distance relationship will do that to you."

"I'm just saying, you've seemed fine the last couple of weeks. But now you get this news that she's leaving for a few months and you're all gloomy."

"Fine, maybe I'm not the biggest fan of her going, but it's no big deal."

"Lies!" she declared. "If it wasn't a big deal, you wouldn't be so . . . tense about it."

"Alright!" he hollered; he wanted her to be quiet and revealing what he wanted to keep to himself seemed to be the only way to do that. "I don't want her to go! A million things could go wrong and we could break up!"

"But this is could be a great experience for her," Cathy said; she believed that by presenting the facts, Eli would eventually come around and let go of his animosity.

"You think I don't know that?" he snarled. "Why do you think I haven't told her?"

"Maybe you _should_ say something to her; she wouldn't want you feeling like this."

"If I tell her, she won't go."

"And isn't that what you want?"

Eli growled and rubbed his eyes, not wanting to admit aloud that he would not be disappointed if she decided to not leave.

"I would want her to go if I knew for sure that nothing was going to happen to us."

"Hasn't she already told you a million times that nothing would happen?"

"It's one thing to say that and a completely other thing to go through it."

"You have to trust her, Eli," she told him. "She believed you when you told her you would come up here and not look around."

"I do trust her. I'm just worried."

"Then tell her."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I know how she is; if I tell her how I'm feeling, she won't go. And I would rather her go do this and be miserable for a few months than ask her to stay and let her resent me for it for the rest of her life."

"But wouldn't she want you to be happy?"

"I'll be happy when she comes home and when she comes up here so we can be together."

"And what's going to happen during those three months while she's away? Are you going to be like you are now and be cranky all the time?"

"I'm just getting used to everything. I still haven't really adjusted to being away from home and doing a million things at once, so it's not exactly helping that my girlfriend is leaving the country for three months."

Cathy seemed to have run out of words to say, for she did not respond. She sighed in defeat and finally began her work; she may not have made Eli the happiest guy in the world at this point, but she hoped that he got out some of the anger that he had clearly been keeping inside. Unfortunately, all this talking did was make Eli realize how real and intense this situation was. It made him slightly nauseous and he sincerely wished that he would be able to find a way to cope with all of this. Clare was already far away, she would soon be leaving to study abroad, he had to keep on top of his homework, and his job was leaving him drained. He needed to find a way to get his mind back on track . . . he needed a break from school . . . he needed to get back home . . .

()()

"Anything new with K.C?" Alli asked that Friday morning. They were sitting in their Physics class, trying to focus on their work as K.C worked with Dave a couple of tables away from them.

Clare shook her head, not really caring.

"He hasn't talked to me since Wednesday."

"Which is good, right?"

"Yeah," she answered. "But now I'm wondering how long it's going to be until he tries to speak to me again."

"Well, he told me how you yelled at him, so maybe he got the message that you want to be left alone."

Aggravated that he was now saying stuff to her best friend, Clare quickly answered questions on the worksheet that their teacher gave them at the beginning of class.

"As long as he doesn't use me as some sort of pawn in his plan to get Jenna back, I'll survive."

"That's good," Alli said, not wanting any drama to be around her or Clare. She wanted their last year to be as flawless as possible; therefore she was appeased that Clare would not go looking for trouble.

The two of them continued to fill out their worksheets. Clare attempted to answer the third question when she felt a small vibration coming from her pocket. The room was full of chatting students and the teacher was busy helping another pair, so the disturbance went by unnoticed. Keeping an eye on the teacher as she slid her phone out of her pocket, Clare moved her phone under the table until the coast was clear and she was able to see why her phone was acting up in the middle of class. She then saw that Eli had sent her a text and she grinned slightly. He sent her his usual text that said _I love you_ earlier that morning, so she curious as to what this one could say.

_Thinking of you_

She smiled at the text before pressing the keys to type her reply.

_Thinking of you all the time_

_Oh, Edwards, you're making be blush_

Clare bit her lip to keep herself from laughing out loud.

_Welcome to my world_

_ Ha-ha. What are you up to?_

_ Physics worksheet. You?_ she texted, making sure that it was still safe to text.

_ Sitting in my dorm. Do you want me to text you back later?_

Clare contemplated it since her teacher was not too far away and because she had this assignment to get done, but she also really wanted to talk to Eli. He seemed to be really distracted with homework when they talked on Skype last night and that resulted in them having a shorter session than usual. She was disappointed, but she also had work of her own to get done and she did not want him to get stressed out or fall behind. Hoping that this would make up for the time they lost last night, she decided to risk getting caught and replied.

_No, you can keep texting me if you want ;)_

_ In that case, how are you?_

_ Not bad. And what about you?_

_I'm fine. Excited for our "date" in two weeks?_

Clare smiled, remembering how they were going to have their first long-distance date that day. She wanted it to get here as soon as possible just so she could feel like she was having some sort of date with him.

_Absolutely :)_

_ Me too :) What are you doing in a month from now?_

_ I'm not sure. Why?_

She looked at her phone, anxious for a reply from him. She looked up to be sure that her teacher did not see her texting, but she did not do it often enough to draw attention to herself. After at least a minute of waiting, Clare noticed that Eli had messaged her back. She hastily opened the text and almost began to cry at what it read.

_I don't have to work that weekend and I'm coming back to Toronto :)_

Clare had to put her hand over her mouth as she read those words. She tried not to make a sound, but she was breathing heavily behind her hand. Trembling, she began to type her reply and hope that he was not pulling her leg.

_ Really?_

_ Yep. I'm coming back on the 7th of September :)_

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, a large smile coming to her face for the first time since she found out she was going to England.

"What?" Alli asked, abandoning her work to find out what was going on with Clare.

"Eli's coming home!" she explained in a soft yet rapturous tone.

"When?" she asked, pleased that Clare was be able to see her boyfriend again.

"In a month," she answered.

"That's great!"

Before Clare could agree, she noticed that she had received another text. Knowing that it was more than likely from Eli, she opened it and continued to smile.

_Are you still there or did you die from surprise?_

She smiled, thinking how Eli would be soon making his witty remarks to her in person soon. After making sure that her teacher was not watching, Clare hurriedly texted him back.

_You just made my day! I can't wait to see you! :D :D :D_

_ Same here beautiful :) _

Clare attempted to calm down and process what was happening, but her mind was now so overwhelmed that she would be with Eli in a few short weeks; she could not focus on the work in front of her and she was unable to wipe the smile from her face.

()()

For the rest of the day, all Clare could think about was how the love of her life would soon be coming home. It was going to be a bit of a wait, but it was going to be worth it. She arrived at her locker at the end of the day and was greeted by a picture in the door of her locker. It was of her and Eli over the summer from when they were sitting at the Dot sharing a milkshake. She sighed, saddened that it had been a while since they did that, yet she was pleased because it would not be long until she saw him again.

"Miss him?"

Clare turned around and saw K.C behind her. Not wanting to see him, she turned back to her locker to put away her books.

"Why do you care?"

"I'm just trying to make conversation," he shrugged.

Clare avoided his eye and closed her locker, wishing for K.C to vaporize and not take her out of her pleasant thoughts. Her first week of the new school year was long and slightly stressful, and she only wanted to think of the positive aspects of her life instead of the negative. She began going down the hall when K.C caught up to her again.

"Can we talk?"

"Nope," she answered.

"Come on, Clare."

"Leave me alone."

She exited the school and began going down the steps, believing she was home free until she reached the bike rack. As she unchained her bicycle, K.C arrived and stood next to it. Agitated that he was not listening to her, she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Seriously?"

"Can we just talk over coffee at the Dot?" he offered.

"You remember that I'm practically engaged, right?" she stated, not making eye contact as she pulled out her bike.

"Yeah, but what does that have to do anything?"

Clare scoffed, outraged at what K.C was suggesting.

"I'm not going to grab coffee with my ex-boyfriend while my future husband is three hundred miles away; that's going to cause nothing but trouble."

"Please?" he asked. "We can just go as friends."

"Since when are we friends?" she demanded, turning to him just so he could see the anger in her eyes. "We hardly talked during grade ten, the only time you talked to me in grade eleven was when you were criticizing my choice in boyfriends, and now you're talking to me as if nothing happened."

"And that's why I think we should talk and try to stitch some wounds."

"Sure, that's what you want," she muttered, recalling what she and Alli talked about.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

In Clare's eyes, K.C just wanted to go to the Dot with her just so Jenna could probably see them and eventually get jealous. She tried to keep up her positive spirits, but it was no use. She was too infuriated that K.C was still using her and was now asking her to go get coffee. Not wanting to discuss anything more this this person, she met his eyes one final time.

"Listen, I don't like the fact that you're using me to make Jenna jealous, but I'll get over it if I don't have to get involved; but if you think I'm going to put my relationship in the crossfire to help you, then you're out of my mind."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, brow furrowed.

"Don't play dumb with me," she demanded. "Just leave me alone."

She then got on her bike and began going down the street, not daring to look back at him.

* * *

"_Hey sweetie_

_Well I need you here tonight_

_And I know that you don't wanna be leaving me_

_Yeah, you want it but I can't help it_

_I just feel complete when you're by my side"_

_~"If It Means a Lot to You" by A Day to Remember featuring Sierra Kusterbeck_

* * *

I feel kind of bad about putting some K.C in here considering what's happened on the show, but this was the fourth idea I've had for this story (first Kate, then Eli and Clare having sex, having a pregnancy scare and planning to get married, then the fire, and now this) and it's an important attribute to one of the upcoming plots, so I can't really take it out when I really can't change anything. However, I am making some changes from what I originally planned.

So, I started my senior year of high school and I'm kind of apprehensive about it and I'm kind of freaking about this AP English class I'm taking, so some reviews will really make me smile.


	114. Hello Cold World

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Firstly, thank you all for the reviews. We are now beyond 1,400! That is incredible! Secondly, thank you all for wishing me luck in my AP class. I'll admit, I'm getting a bit stressed because of school and everything, so please bear with me and I'll update as often as I can. Shout out to Kira Genovese for the amazing feedback on twitter. To speachless, thank you for your review; it made my day! This chapter and the next chapter are going to be less dramatic simply because I am very happy and I can't put in anything too sad right now! I am like smiling so much! Life is good! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . _The Kids Will Take Their Monsters On _by Automatic Loveletter rocks (just saying).

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Fourteen

Hello Cold World

Clare was fuming as she rode her bike home, wanting greatly to eliminate K.C from her mind and only think about Eli coming home. To her disappointment, all of that happiness vaporized the second her ex-boyfriend crossed the line. She tried to get home as fast as possible just so she would put a distance between the two of them only to find herself drowning in thoughts of him.

When she got to her house, Clare tramped up to her room as quickly as possible and slammed her door before lying down on her bed. She desperately wanted to talk to Eli right now so she could be cheered up, but he would be at work until eight o'clock and she was not sure if he would be doing anything afterward or not. It was likely that she would not talk to him until late that night or tomorrow morning, and this made her fury increase. It was not Eli's fault and she was aware of it, and this caused her to scold herself and she began to feel worse than she already did.

Once she was able to control her rage, she decided to get more work done on one of her essays for England. Since she did not have to work today and because Alli was at a family dinner, she did not have any plans for that night and figured that it would be better to do something productive than to sit around waiting for her boyfriend to call or dwell on what had happened between her and K.C.

To her misfortune, working did not distract her as much as she expected. When she made the attempt, she ended up typing for only half a minute before her mind began to wonder. Every time this happened, she thought of all the times K.C tried to communicate with her this week and it caused her mind to come to a standstill.

She growled in annoyance, frustrated that she could not be feeling any emotions worth smiling about. She wanted to rewind to earlier that day when Eli first texted the great news to her, but now it seemed too far away. Clare tried continuously to forget all about her and K.C's talk and how he offered to take her to the Dot and how he was using her to make Jenna jealous, but the ideas made her feel sleazy and guilty and they would not leave her alone. It was disgusting to her and she really just wanted to vent to Eli about it all. He would listen, understand, and probably punch K.C in the face for her when he came to visit; she grinned at the idea until the image dissolved in her brain and she realized that she had to keep working.

This process repeated for hours until she heard the sound of a ringtone that had played more than any of the others. The chorus of "Paisley Jacket" coming from her phone, Clare saved her work and smiled before running over to her nightstand to answer it.

"Hi, Eli," she greeted him as she sat on her bed.

"Hello, beautiful girlfriend of mine," he replied, the happiness coating his voice. Ever since he learned that he would have the weekend off work for the 7th and 8th of September and decided to take that opportunity to go back home for the weekend, he had felt content with this life for the first time in weeks.

"How was your day?" she asked him, not exactly having the same amount of joy he was because of K.C.

"Great," he told her with honesty. "Work was not too crazy, the Drama Club is planning on its first production already, and I get to come home in four weeks; I really don't think this day could get any better."

Clare tried not to begrudge Eli's tranquility. He did have a rough couple of weeks, so she knew that he deserved some peace; on the other hand, she wanted to be nothing but happy about him coming to visit in a month but it would not be able to happen.

"And how are you doing?" he asked her.

Any thought Clare had of unleashing her day to Eli began to fade. He was having a good day and he sounded pleased for the first time in a while; she did not want to take that away from him today. Maybe she would tell him once he was not too overwhelmed with enthusiasm, but telling him today was not an option.

"I'm fine," she answered, not completely lying. "I just can't wait until you come home."

"Me neither," he concurred. "And how would you feel about us having a date at our special place the night I get home?"

"Sounds great, Eli," she said, trying her best not to let her unhappy tone leak into the conversation. She waited for him to speak again, for she did not know what to say and she was too worried that her voice would betray her emotions.

"Baby, is something wrong?" he asked, slightly caught off guard that she was this mute even though he had recently given her the news that he thought would give her delight.

"No," she said. "It's just been a long day."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he offered her, hating that he could only help her by talking to her and nothing more.

"No, I'm fine," Clare declined. "I'm just stressed out."

"Grade twelve is starting to get to you already?" he asked.

"There's that on top of writing all these essays and everything," she explained, wanting those to be the source of her negative emotions right now.

Eli held his tongue as she made a reference to England; he knew that if Clare was not stressed, she would be overpowered with excitement. He inwardly cursed this workshop she would soon attend, resenting it for putting pressure on Clare and for eventually taking her away from Canada. Keeping it all inside for her sake and so she would not reconsider this opportunity, he swallowed his words before spitting out different ones.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" he asked her.

"No, I'll be okay," she said as she picked up the panda bear she had be holding every night since Eli made the suggestion many days ago. She hugged it with one arm and rested her chin on its plush head. "I just need to get my mind off everything."

"Then look on the upside and think of all the good stuff until you're feeling better," he instructed. "Like how all this stress will be worth it once you're studying in England."

"Okay," Clare agreed, knowing that distracting herself from the negative with the positive could be the only way to put a smile on her face. Going to England would definitely be a relief since she would be done with the essays by that point. It would also be a great escape from K.C and any drama that came with him, but she would have to wait at least another four and a half months. Aggravated that it was so far away, she hastily skimmed her mind for another thought. "I'm also going to be seeing you in four weeks."

Eli smiled widely at the reminder, disbelieved that he would soon be able to see the love of his life again.

"Sorry it's been taking me so long to come back."

"It's fine," she said with understanding. "You'll be here soon and that's what matters."

Eli was pleased that she was not upset about the wait and that his potential arrival would make up for it. He only hoped now that he could ease her frustrations with his voice until he would be able to give her physical console.

"There's also our first long-distance date in two weeks," he reminded. "Are you still looking forward to it?"

"Yes," she answered, excitedly waiting for it just so she could experience a date night with her boyfriend again. "Are we still going to the park?"

"You got it," he agreed, already grinning that the two of them would be on a date although they were five hours apart.

Clare smiled, trying to keep all these happy thoughts in her head so they could override the unwanted feelings of anger.

"You're really starting to make me feel better," she told him as she continued to hold the bear.

"If you ever need me to make you smile, just let me know and I'll do what I can," he said to her. "And just keep thinking how we'll be kissing, going on a date, and being together by this time next month."

She grinned, already feeling his lips on hers as they lied on his bed while she rested in his arms.

"I love that you always know how to cheer me up. The only thing that could make this better is one of your special Eli's hugs."

"I wish I could send it to you. I promise to give you one when I come home."

"I can't wait," she smiled, knowing that it would not be long until she and Eli would be holding each other again. The longer she talked to Eli, the faster her anger melted away from her. She soon forgot all about K.C and focused on what was important; and, in this instance, Eli was what was important.

She spent the majority of that night on the phone with Eli. They talked about his classes, their work lives, or their friends. Most of all, they talked about the fat that he was coming home in a bit less than four weeks.

Due to Eli's cheerful mood, she did not mention K.C to him. Telling him would undo his joy and she did not want to take that away from him. She would have considered telling him when K.C first started trying to communicate with her during the week, but he always seemed to be busy and she did not want to put more on his mind. She also did not want K.C to enter her head while talking to her boyfriend, thus she did not say a word.

Thankfully, Saturday was a new day for her and she was ready to melt away the stress of the first week of school. Wanting to escape all reminders of what happened that week, Clare called Alli that afternoon and asked if they wanted to go to the mall. She agreed and the two of them were being dropped off by Helen by one o'clock. They entered the building and began to walk around when Clare mentioned how Eli's birthday five days away and she had not gotten him anything.

"Might as well get him something since we're here," Alli stated. "What do you plan on getting him?"

"I'm not a hundred percent sure," she admitted. "I was hoping that he would drop hints, but no such luck."

"Have you thought about asking him?"

"I would just get the same response I did last year: 'I'm with you and that's the best gift of all'."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah, but I don't want to send him something he won't like," she clarified. "It's his first birthday away from home and he's turning eighteen; I want him to like it."

"You know Eli better than anyone; I'm sure you know if he'll like something or not."

Clare sighed, wishing that she had a better idea on what she could buy him. She was familiar with his interests, likes, and dislikes, but she was just anxious that she would end up sending him something that he would hate. She did not mind getting gifts for him; it was just the uneasy anticipation of his reaction that concerned her. If this was any other birthday, she would not have been worrying herself so much; however, this was his eighteenth and he was away from Toronto, ergo she was going to do all she could to get him a nice present or two.

"Hey," Alli suddenly spoke, noticing a consignment shop a few stores away from their current location. "I'm sure you'll find the perfect thing for him in there; he likes vintage, right?"

"Right," Clare said, approving of the idea.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

A minute later, the girls were in the store and having a look around. A couple of items caught Clare's eye, but she was not a hundred percent sure if she wanted to send them to Eli. She took her time to gaze at a some of the merchandise before deciding whether or not he would really want them for his birthday and eventually moved on to what was next.

Sighing in frustration with herself, she began to wander around the store. She passed many old movies, pictures, and shoes before she came to a shelf that was full of books. She skimmed the spines for a few minutes until she a book of the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe on the shelf and instantly grabbed it. One of the benefits of being with Eli while he cleaned out his room and helping him pack for university was that she remembered what he owned and what he did not. She knew for certain that he did not have a copy of the author's work and she was sure that he would enjoy it, so this was an easy decision to make. However, this was not all she wanted to get him.

She journeyed over to a rack where there were plenty of vintage concert t-shirts. Having a feeling that Eli would like one, she began to search for one of a band he enjoyed listening to. She looked through the many shirts until she finally found one that she believed Eli would like. It was a Poison concert shirt that was from their Flesh and Blood World Tour in the early nineties; it was in his size too, much to her relief.

"He'll love it," Alli said as Clare showed it to her. Feeling confident in her choices, she prepared to walk towards the counter to pay for the shirt and book. When she went to take a step, she looked up to see a certain person across the store and it caused her feet to remain stuck to the floor.

"You have got to be kidding me," she growled.

"What?"

Clare nodded towards the entrance as K.C began looking at the knickknacks on one of the shelves.

"What are you going to do?" Alli asked her.

"Hope that he doesn't notice I'm here," she said, averting her eyes back to the shirt that was in her hand so she would not have him in sight.

"Yeah . . . I don't think that's going to happen."

Clare snapped her head up and saw K.C heading in their direction.

"Perfect," she muttered to herself.

"Hey," he greeted them, trying to ignore the obvious tension between him and Clare as he had been doing for some time now.

"Hi," Alli accosted kindly. Clare may have been her best friend, but this was not her fight and she was not going to act cold towards K.C in any way. "What are you doing here?"

"I work at one of the stores here," he explained. "I'm just on my lunch break and I figured that I should look around."

"And how ironic is it that you decided to come into the same store we happened to be in," Clare stated with acrimony.

"I was actually looking for something for my mom for her birthday," he enunciated. "What are you two doing here?"

"Nothing," Clare spat, not wanting to waste words on him.

K.C stood there and tried not to be annoyed by Clare's stubbornness; he had to deal with it any time he tried to talk to her that week and he thought that she would eventually let him have a conversation with her. He took a breath, ready to put behind any problems he and Clare had between each other.

"Alli, would you mind if I talked to Clare alone for a second?" he asked of her.

Even though she did not want to leave her best friend alone in the middle of a bitter situation, Alli did not want to be involved in this and she knew that it was time for Clare to settle this feud once and for all.

"Sure," she acceded, noticing the annoyed look Clare gave her. She mouthed "sorry" to her before moving away from the rack to look at some paintings.

Clare bit her lips and turned back to the clothes, hoping that ignoring K.C would eventually make him going away.

"Can we just talk for five minutes?" he asked her.

"I'm busy," she told him, continuing to look through the clothes just so she could pretend to be in the middle of a search.

"Please. Five minutes and then you'll never have to talk to me again if you don't want to."

Those words made the proposition sound incredibly tempting despite her determination to avoid his eye. She really did not want to deal with K.C popping up every three seconds anymore while she had so much going on in her mind. Deciding that she could waste five minutes to let him have his say and then get on with her life with the people she really cared about, she prepared to have a real discussion with the person she never wanted to converse with again. Huffing, she turned to glare at K.C; she crossed her arms and tried to remain as calm as she could.

"What?"

"Yesterday you said something about me using you to make Jenna jealous."

"So?" she asked.

"Why would you think that?"

"What else can I think? The only time you talked to me after grade nine was to badmouth Eli, then he leaves and you act like nothing happened. And I know that you and Jenna broke up over the summer, so it kind of fits together."

"Well, I've wanted to talk to you, but it's not because I'm using you. I actually . . . I actually wanted to talk to you about things that involve Eli; and it's nothing bad," he added quickly, knowing that this thought would cross her mind.

Clare bit her bottom lip as she started considering what was in front of her. If K.C was feeling sincere remorse about what he said about what he about Eli last year, then she would not want to miss him admitting to his wrongs. She was aware that her desires to listen to him were selfish, but she thought that she deserved to be this way after all the words he said not too long ago. He told her so many times that Eli did not really love her and every time was new sting to her heart. Breathing in deeply through her nose, she kept her anger at bay before finally allowing him to have his moment to speak.

"Fine," she permitted, wanting to get this over with. "You want to talk, go ahead."

Relieved that he was finally being able to say what had been on his mind since school began, K.C took a breath and looked Clare directly in the eye to show her that he was serious about what he was about to say.

"Over the summer after Jenna and I broke up, I realized that I made a lot of mistakes and I'm trying to make up for as many as possible. And . . . I did and said a lot of things to you that I want to fix."

Clare stood there, her mind racing as her body became paralyzed. She wanted to believe what she was hearing, but she was not sure if doing so would be the wisest decision. The last time she trusted K.C, he broke her heart and she was not willing to put her faith in him again so soon.

"So . . . you've been trying to talk to me all week just so you could . . . fix things with me?" she clarified.

"Basically," he nodded. "I just . . . didn't know how to go about it and that's why I'm being upfront about it now."

K.C wrung his hands together and looked at Clare, ready to speak to her in hope that his nerves will not let him down and that he would be able to talk.

"I'm sorry for what happened in grade nine."

Clare rolled her eyes, annoyed that he thought that she was still upset about this.

"I'm not angry about that; I've let that go."

"Then why are you always trying to avoid me and why are you always harsh?"

"Last year you kept talking about Eli and how did not care about me."

"And that was wrong. I'm sorry."

That was not good enough for her. Although their meetings were brief, they always struck an emotional nerve with her and her mind was in frenzy for some time afterwards. It was going to take more than a few apologies for her to let go of everything she had against him and she did not want him to get away with that without some sort of explanation.

"Why did you do get involved and say all those things anyway? We never talked and you don't know Eli, so why did you feel the need to say stuff to me?"

"I was just looking out for you. I didn't know what he was like and he hurt you a few times last year; I thought you were being misled or something and that the whole thing was an act."

"I was fine and I'm fine now; I'm happy with Eli and he's happy with me."

"I see that now. And I also know that he does really care if he's in a long-distance relationship with you and if he's happy about you going to England."

Clare had a combination of atonement and astonishment. She was satisfied with his words, but she did admit that she was a bit unsure to trust his apology. She half expected him to not continue or to not bother to care about her real concern with him. It soon became apparent to her that he would not have kept talking about Eli unless he truly wanted her to know how sorry he was. This realization and his words overtook her anger and she saw K.C before her in a way she had not seen him in a long time. For the first time since her freshman year of high school, K.C was not in a bad light.

"Thank you," Clare said. "I'm glad you finally realized that."

"And . . ." He attempted to continue, but the words he was about to say would be more difficult to say than any of the others. "I want us to be friends."

Clare was taken aback slightly; because they have not had a civil conversation since they were freshmen, she was disbelieved that he suggested this so bluntly. She rolled her lips, trying to analyze everything that was happening so she would make the wisest decision.

"I don't know," she told him with honesty. "You can't really expect me to let it all go just like that."

"I'm not asking you to," he informed her. "I would just like us to be on good terms again someday."

"Wouldn't it be weird?" she asked. "I'm your ex and it's not like I'm simply dating Eli."

"I know, it's more than that," he said, actually understanding just how deep she was in her relationship. "I just want us to start anew with a clean slate."

Clare weighed her options carefully, wanting to consider this before making any decisions. Agreeing to be friends with K.C would mean that she would have to cope with the past and move on unless she wanted it to be uncomfortable.

One the other hand, there were times when she did miss the friendship they had until the end of their first year of Degrassi all but destroyed it. She had to move on from that and she was prepared to put last year behind her as well if she wanted anything to change. She did want to take this step and if K.C was being truthful about starting over, there could not have been much harm in healing old scars and rebuilding.

"Okay," she said, feeling a giant weight float off her shoulders. "We can try to be friends."

"Really?" he asked, a grin coming to his face.

"Yes," she said calmly, shocked that she was willing to restart a friendship with her ex-boyfriend. "But if you say one more thing about Eli being a bad guy, I will take it all back."

"Deal," he accepted, seeing this as more than fair.

They stood there and, for the first time in over two years, they were exchanging friendly smiles. Seconds later, Clare saw someone coming towards them out of the corner of her eye and noticed Alli coming back over to them.

"Is everything okay here?" she asked.

Clare looked at K.C, who seemed to be waiting for her to speak to reveal that their friendship had been renewed.

"Yeah," she answered. "We're good."

"Great," Alli smiled, pleased that she would no longer have to be torn between two of them like she had been this past week.

The three of them stood there quietly for a second, taking in what had just happened and preparing to turn over a new leaf.

"I'm on break for another forty minutes; do you guys want to get a smoothie or something?" he endeavored.

If K.C just invited her, Clare would have turned him down immediately; they may have been friends on the road to recovery, but she felt that it was too soon to go on an outing with him alone. Thankfully, he was addressing her and Alli, and therefore she felt more tempted to accept.

"Sounds good to me," she answered, Alli agreeing with her by nodding.

"Great," he grinned.

"Just give me a minute to pay for these," she told him, holding up the t-shirt and book she had selected.

"Okay," he said. "I'll wait for you two outside."

He left the store while Clare and Alli went to stand at the end of the short line for the single counter.

"Someone seems to be changing their tune," Alli observed, recalling that Clare had a strong distaste for K.C days ago.

Clare shrugged as they waited patiently for their turn in line.

"He apologized, he seems sincere, and he says that he isn't using me; I don't see the harm in letting it go and us becoming friends again."

"Well, I'm glad you're burying the hatchet. So how are you going to tell Eli that you're buddy-buddy with your ex?" she asked.

"Oh . . . uh . . ."

Clare did not know the answer; Eli did not cross her mind and she was disgusted with herself for buying his birthday present right after making arrangements to spend time with the person who caused her pain in the past. Although Eli had never shown much envy or cold feelings toward K.C, she knew that he did not like him because of what happened when she was in grade nine.

"You are going to tell him, right?"

"I don't know. I want to because we promised to be honest, but . . ."

"It'll be weird?" she guessed.

Potential awkwardness was actually the least of Clare's troubles. There could be a fight because of this or Eli could begin to have all these feelings that she did not want him to have. She knew how it felt when the person you loved spent time with a person who used to have feelings for you; the last thing she wanted was for Eli to go through the same experience she did.

"I don't want him to start worrying that I'll eventually start getting feelings for K.C."

"Can't you just tell him that? It'll be better than keeping him in the dark."

"I can, but . . . it's not like I'm hanging out with just another guy."

"So you're not going to tell him?"

"No . . . yes . . . maybe . . . I don't know," she groaned, upset that could not have a moment of happiness before having another dilemma on her hands. "I don't want to give him that kind of fear; I've been there and it's not something I want him to go through."

"But remember how you felt when Kate was around and how hurt you felt because Eli didn't tell you about their history?"

She remembered. She found out and her heart began to chill as she thought of the time when he was not truthful with her and when he intentionally kept her in the dark. It was not an issue anymore now that they had moved on and were planning on living out their lives together, but the memories still rested painfully in her thoughts every time she reflected on them.

"I don't want to do that to him," she said to herself as well as Alli.

"I'm not telling you that you have to say something to him," she informed her friend. "I'm just saying that maybe it would be best if you do."

Clare agreed with this. Despite the results that could come from her telling him, she knew that nothing good would result from hiding what has happened.

"You're right," she replied as she paid for the shirt and book. "I'll tell him tonight."

"Good," Alli said. She had already seen Clare begin to stress about this long-distance relationship and she did not want any factors to contribute to make it worse. "You think he's going to be okay?"

"I hope so," Clare sighed, feeling dread in her heart before she left the store with Eli's birthday gifts.

()()

To Clare's surprise, she, Alli, and K.C had a great outing at the food court. They talked, smiled, and caught up with each other. He had actually been getting on well with his job, being a father, and being a student all at the same time. Thankfully, he and Jenna have had help along the way thanks to his mother. The longer she talked to K.C, the more Clare saw that he was not the same person from last year. He had grown in every aspect, which she was amazed and impressed by. She had actually begun to feel a bit guilty about not listening to him earlier that week, or else she could have been spending time with male company all along.

K.C had to get back to work once they finished their smoothies and that gave Clare and Alli time to go spend time looking around the mall for a few more hours. When she got home that evening, she decided that she had better tell Eli the truth about what had happened between her and K.C today. She wanted him to tell her about Kate and she did not want to risk him losing trust in her like she did with him at that point in time. She knew that he would probably be aghast and concerned, but she hoped that she would be able to convince him that it did not mean that she and K.C would have more than friendship. There would no doubt be some discussion and maybe even a brief argument; she just hoped that Eli would not be extremely mad then eventually comprehend her position.

Nervous yet prepared for what was to happen, Clare leaned against her headboard before putting placing her laptop on her thighs. She logged on to Skype and she and Eli were facing each other through their webcams within a matter of seconds.

"Hi," she greeted him, smiling at him.

"Hey," he replied, trying his best to grin back at her.

"Are you okay?" she asked, noticing the lack of emotion in his tone.

"Yeah," he said. "It was just a long day at work."

"What happened?" Clare said, putting the needs of her boyfriend before her conscience's desire to be clean.

"Devin was an ass as usual, there were three fights that we had to break up and clean up after, and it was opening night of a movie so it was nothing but chaos."

"I'm sorry you had a rough day," she sympathized, wishing that he had a good Saturday instead of a stressful one.

"I'll be alright. But now I really can't wait to get home; I need a break from this place and I really want to see you."

A lump formed in Clare's throat. She made a promise to herself and Eli that she would be honest with him, but she could not bear the thought of being something to trouble him right now. He was clearly having a rough day that was the complete antipode of the one he had twenty-four hours ago and she did not want to make it even worse by telling him that she was now starting a new friendship with her first boyfriend. She also knew that informing Eli of this while he was in an agitated mood would probably result with the two of them getting into a horrible dispute because he would not be able to control his temper.

Even though she wanted to keep to their pact and tell him the truth, she did not want to make his day any worse. This would add stress and that was the last thing he needed after the day he had. Swallowing her guilt, she focused all her attention on her boyfriend.

"Just one more month," she reminded him.

"I can't believe that means I'll go six weeks without kissing you."

"Well, I promise that we'll be doing _plenty_ of that when you come back to visit."

"Could we possibly do that on my bed or in the back of Morty?" he suggested.

"If you wish," she smiled at him with a glow of desire in her eye.

Eli grinned, the idea of tackling Clare's lips with his own making a small flame of pleasure inside him.

"Okay, I'm done moping," he declared. "How was your day?"

"Not bad," she said. The conversation with K.C sprung back into her mind and she could not wait until she could wash her hands of this situation. "Alli and I went to the mall for a day, so that was fun."

"Great," he said, glad that she had a better day than him. "By the way, are you almost done with one of those essays for England?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I just want to edit the conclusion a bit."

"Okay, feel free to send it over to me when you're done if you still want me to look at it."

"Thanks," Clare said, grinning in gratitude.

"No problem," he replied, still determined to help Clare get to England even though he disliked the idea.

Although Eli was glad that he was interested in her life and did not want to keep talking about himself, she was desperate to turn the conversation in a different direction before she let something slip.

"So . . ."

"So . . .?" he repeated.

"Your birthday's on Thursday."

Eli groaned, already having an idea as to where this conversation was going to lead.

"I'm just going to tell you right now that you _really_ don't have to get me anything."

"Too late," she said with a grin, eyeing the newly wrapped package that was resting on her desk.

"Clare."

"What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't send my boyfriend something for his birthday?" she asked rhetorically.

Eli sighed, knowing that he should not have expected anything less from her. He firmly believed that she did not have to spend any of her money on him or take the time to go searching for something to buy for him and she knew this. Nonetheless, she would do it for him out of the kindness of heart and he could not help but appreciate the gesture.

"Remember this in eight months when it's _your_ eighteenth birthday," he told her, knowing she would put up the same fight he did seconds ago – maybe even a bigger one.

"Fine," she agreed.

"Pizza will be here in fifteen minutes!" announced a voice that Clare had never heard before. Eli turned his head and saw Josh walking into their room. "Cat is hanging with some of her girlfriends tonight, so it's boy's night in. No girls, no classes, no worries."

"Uh, Josh," Eli said, seeing Clare trying to hold back her laughter.

"What?" Josh asked. He walked over to his roommate's desk to see just what he was doing on his laptop when he saw a face he had only seen in pictures until this point. "Oh . . . hi."

"Hi," Clare echoed.

"You're Clare, aren't you?" he exclaimed.

"That's me. You must be the roommate; Eli's told me about you."

"And I practically know you by the way he talks about you over and over and over and over and –," Josh began.

"I think she gets it," Eli interrupted.

Clare began to blush, flattered and disbelieved that he had mentioned her so much.

"So, tell me, what do you see in this kid anyway?" Josh said, ruffling Eli's hair.

"Hey," Eli groaned, pushing the hand away.

"Well, Josh, I think Eli is very smart, funny, kind, and sweet."

"Oh really?" he said. "I don't see it."

"In a weird way, I'm kind of happy about that," Eli told him.

"Ha-ha," Josh laughed smugly before turning back to the webcam. "Now, when should we expect a visit from you?"

"I don't know. I will when I can, but it's been hectic here."

"Okay," Josh nodded. "Just be sure to come up here as soon as you can. Maybe then Eli will smile more."

"Shut up," Eli remarked.

"Now, now," Josh said. "Well, I'll let you two get back to your talk. It was nice meeting you, Clare."

"You too," she replied before he stepped out of the camera's frame. "Well, I should let you go so you could enjoy your night."

"I can stay on for a few more minutes," he told her, not wanting her to feel like she had to stop talking just because Josh was in the room. Then again, maybe she did not feel quite comfortable doing that and he could not say he blamed her; his roommate was a great person, but he could have his moments of extreme immaturity.

"I need to get this essay done anyway."

"Can I call you tomorrow then?" he asked her.

"You can. I hope your night gets better."

"It's been getting better already," he said before winking at her. She grinned and felt a pink tint come to her cheeks, hoping that she would be able to tell him about K.C next time they talked so she would not have this situation in the back of her mind all the time. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Aw," Josh commented from the other side of the room.

Eli rolled his eyes while Clare simply smiled again.

"Bye, Clare."

"Bye. Bye, Josh," she said loud enough for Josh to hear her.

"Ta-ta," he replied in a slightly higher voice.

Eli let out a chuckle before giving Clare one final grin before going offline.

* * *

"_I feel happy, I feel sad_

_I feel like running through the walls_

_I'm overjoyed, I'm undecided_

_I don't know who I am"_

_~"Hello Cold World" by Paramore_

* * *

I made up when Eli's birthday is going to be. Next chapter is going to include something I've had in my head for months, so I hope I can execute it in words. Review!


	115. To Die For

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY! **(Forever and always . . . hehehe)

Thank you everyone for your incredible reviews! Thank you sushi.23, X. SilverWind .X, Eclarexoxo, Sam, Degrassistar, huffletodapuffle, Jenna, degrassieclare23, BlackRabbit550, No . purpose, Moxxy, speachless, mur xo, and perfectlybroken66 for your feedback. My first few weeks of school have been insane, so your words really made my days. Thank you all!

Since the chapters have been from Clare's side lately, I'm switching it up a bit . . . and I think you guys will like it. For the record, I don't know how Drama Clubs work in college, so I'm going with my gut on that one. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. And, if I did, why would you really trust me with something so awesome (ha)?

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Fifteen

To Die For

When Eli first arrived at Ottawa, he expected his weekends to be completely different from his weekends in Toronto, but he soon saw that some of only contrasts in his eyes were the location and the company he kept. Besides this, there were only two aspects that completely differed from his weekend life back home: he had to go to work and participate in Drama Club.

He did not mind meeting on Saturdays, especially when he did not have to worry about homework or studying. The feel of the Drama department in university was lighter yet more confident than the one he was in through his years at Degrassi; he was certain this was because people would take the university level of theatre more seriously since it was not merely another afterschool activity. Everyone at the meetings were focused and driven by the magic of the stage and Eli was pleased to be among them.

However, being an underclassman and not having as much experience as many as the other students, Eli knew he had a lot to prove and he did not hesitate to volunteer when it came to writing a play. To his astonishment, he was not the only one who seemed to be zealous about gaining this responsibility. Their instructor told them that they should each write a simple draft of the play and he would decide who would do it from there or if he should team them up. Even though Eli would rather work on the official script with someone else than not work on it at all, he wished that he would get this role and not have anyone help him with it.

"You can I worked together fine on that play last year," Clare reminded him while she, he, and Adam had a three-way Skype chat that Sunday.

"Yeah, but I know you and I get along with you," he stated. "I'm not sure how I'm going to do working with a bunch of strangers."

"You'll get to know them," Adam told him.

"I have to see if I'm able to write it first."

"What's this play about, anyway?"

"It's basically a post-apocalyptic tale about a group of people who have to come together to restore the world; the playwright has to build it from there."

"Interesting," Clare commented.

"Are there any other freshman trying to write it?"

"Nope," he sighed.

"You can do it," Clare grinned at him, having confidence in him and his writing ability.

"I hope so."

Although Clare, Adam, Josh, Cathy, Gary, Haley, and his parents had faith in him, he could not help but feel intimidated by some of the others who were trying to get the same position as him. They had written plays before and were actually majoring in Drama while he was studying English; he admitted that he was a good writer, but these people could have been a lot better, therefore he was spending every waking moment perfecting his draft.

Every day the following week, he spent as much time as possible writing and rewriting the potential script. It was mildly aggravating that he did not have many spare seconds because of studying, homework, and his job, but he was determined not to let it break him. He would occasionally call Clare and consult a few ideas with her since she was the best writer he knew. This play had become his latest obsession and he felt a bit rotten for talking about it with Clare all the time and constantly mentioning it to her. She would simply assure him that this would make them even since he would be helping her with her essays for England. He was relieved by her words, although he wished he did not have to edit the essays that would take her away from him.

The week passed by slowly that it seemed like it would never end, but the night of a very stressful Wednesday came and Eli was exhausted by the time he was finished with his homework. If his fatigue was not overpowering him, he would have being feeling a combination of accomplishment for finishing his draft of the script and anxious to know what his instructor would think of it. By the time he lied down on his mattress, it was two in the morning and he quickly began falling into a deep slumber.

The hours of sleep seemed to go by in a flash, for Eli woke up to the sound of his phone ringing on that Thursday morning. He sat up and turned to look at the digital clock on his dresser as he reached for his phone and he saw that it was six forty-five in the morning. Wondering who in their right mind would call him at this time, he sat up while looking at the caller ID. Of course it was . . .

"Hi, Clare," he said tiredly.

"Happy eighteenth!" she cheered happily for him.

Eli didn't know what she was talking about at first, but then he thought for a second and realized that it was the 16th of August, also known as his birthday.

"Did I wake you up?" she asked worriedly when he didn't respond.

"Just a little," he said through a yawn.

"I'm sorry," Clare apologized. "I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday before I had to go to school."

"It's cool," he reassured her as he sat up and leaned against the wall next to his bed. He looked to the bed of his roommate, who was still fast asleep and unfazed by the call; he was relieved that Josh was a heavy sleeper and that he could know for definite that this phone call would not be overheard.

"So are you doing anything special today?"

"You know I'm not one for celebrating my birthday."

"But you're turning eighteen," Clare mentioned. "You should be doing something in celebration of it."

"Like what?"

"Um . . . go see a movie with Josh and Cathy or something. Or do something crazy tomorrow night since it'll be Friday."

"We'll see," he told her. "But I have to work, so I'm not sure how much time that will leave me."

"Just try to have a good day," she said. "Even driven colleges students like you deserve to have a nice birthday no matter how much they don't care about it."

"I'll try," he told her.

"Good. I would come up to see you, but I'm not quite sure how I would get there since I don't have a car yet."

"I understand," Eli assured. "Like I said, I don't really like celebrating my birthday."

"Still, you're my boyfriend and I wish I could at least tell you in person."

"Well, I'm not doing anything at after work. I'll see you on Skype tonight?"

"Perfect."

"Great. So is anything new going on with you?"

"I'm missing you, but other than that I'm fine," she said.

"I'm missing you too, sweetheart. But it won't be too much longer until I get to hold you in my arms again."

"And I'm going to be on a date with an eighteen-year-old college student."

"Great, now I feel old," he jested.

Clare laughed.

"I think older guys are sexy," she assured him.

"Even if the guy you're going out with is only eight months older than you?" he asked.

"_Especially_ if the guy I'm going out with is only eight months older than me."

The corner of Eli's mouth curled up into a lopsided grin at her words; it was just a small sentiment, but hearing Clare say that made him feel a bit happier even though he was still a bit tired.

"These next few weeks have to go by as fast as possible," he said, wanting to leave Ottawa behind for a while and, more importantly, see his girlfriend.

"They do," she agreed. "I'm sorry baby, I have to get going. I'll talk to you on Skype later at nine fifteen, okay?"

"Alright, I love you."

"I love you too. And Eli?" she added quickly.

"Yeah?" he said.

"Happy birthday," she said with a smile.

Eli rolled his eyes with a grin.

"Bye, Clare."

"Bye," she said before ending the call.

His birthday may not have been his favorite day of the year, but he was glad that Clare called him even though it meant he had lost five minutes of sleep. He checked the time on his phone and saw that it was ten minutes 'til seven and he did not have to be up for at least another hour and a half; he needed all the sleep he could get since he was up until two that morning, so those ninety minutes of rest sounded like paradise. He put his phone back on his dresser before lying back down on the mattress and getting taken away by sleep.

Sadly, those ninety minutes of rest he had been looking forward only lasted a third of that. Adam texted him to wish him a happy birthday at seven and his parents called him five minutes later. He loved talking to his parents, but not after only four and three-quarter hours' worth of sleep; they wished him a happy birthday and CeCe was practically in tears when she reminded him that this was his first birthday away from her and Bullfrog. Eli admitted to himself that it was a strange feeling, but he tried not to dwell on it too much because he was too drained to process anything. By seven thirty, he tried to get some sleep again, but Josh was not exactly quiet in the mornings and he was frantically running around the room to gather his belongings.

Unable to get back to sleep afterwards, Eli got ready for his day; Cathy – who he usually talked to in the mornings – wished him a happy birthday and would have actually sang it to him if he did not look so worn out. They went straight to the Starbucks that was on campus and he ordered that largest coffee size they had before going to Math 101. The caffeine worked, but it worked a bit too well. He was too jittery to focus on the work in front of him and his mind was reeling with nonsense. He made many attempts to keep on topic, but his brain was too hyper to stay in his control.

It was a relief when he was able to get out of the class, but he had to find a way to calm himself down. Being overtired and intoxicated with caffeine made him feel like he was having an out-of-body experience and he hated it. Desperately wanted to sleep off the effects of his coffee consumption, he went back to his room and figured that having an hour nap would help. His Shakespearean Literature class did not start for another hour and half and he did not want his mind to be off focus as he learned more about _The Taming of the Shrew_.

He kicked off his boots and took of the necklace with the vial of Clare's blood when he entered his room; he was pleased that Josh was not there so he would not have to deal with this racket. He set the alarm on his phone to wake him up in an hour before collapsing on his bed; he lied there and sleep consumed him, his last thoughts being that he hoped no one else would call him or come in this room to wish him a happy birthday . . .

"What the hell is the matter with you?"

Eli snapped his eyes open and sat up straight, alarmed by the sudden shout and the sound of the door slamming shut. More annoyed than concerned about what was going on, he rubbed his eyes.

"It's not my fault! The guy had it coming!" he heard Josh retort.

Eli removed his hands from his eyes and saw Cathy and Josh; he was surprised and frustrated to see them there, considering they had just disturbed his slumber.

"You don't hit someone because they dislike your favorite hockey team," she rationalized for him.

"Has anyone ever told you two that your voices could wake the dead?" Eli groaned, standing up and stretching.

"What are you doing here?" Josh asked. "Aren't you supposed to be in Drama?"

"What?" he asked. He told Josh that morning that he would not be meeting for Drama until one, so it did not make sense for him to be there at this hour.

"Yeah, you're usually there by now."

Eli was confused for half a second when he realized that he must have been asleep for longer than he thought. Panicking, looked at his digital clock and noticed that it was almost one thirty. His stomach turned into a glacier as he came to the unsettling conclusion that he had not only slept longer than he planned, but also through his class and his Drama meeting . . .

"Oh my God," he said, knowing his day was about to make a turn for the worst if he did not get moving. He quickly grabbed his backpack and began going through the many folders in there, hoping that he would find the one he needed.

"What's going on?" Cathy inquired, taken aback by her friend's behavior.

"I'm supposed to have my draft for the play turned in before one forty," he elucidated hastily as he began tossing the temporary unimportant folders on to his bed. "If I don't find it and run to the meeting, the instructor won't accept it."

"Is that it?" Josh asked, pointing to a manila folder that rested on Eli's desk.

Eli whipped his head in that direction before rushing to it; he snatched up the folder and looked inside to see that it was, indeed, his work. Not taking the time to feel the relief, he quickly slid on his boots without lacing them up before running out the door. He raced to the elevator and impatiently kept pressing the down button, knowing that it would not make the lift go any faster.

If he was any calmer, he would have been cursing himself for sleeping through his alarm and for missing his class. But right now, he was determined to just get to the Arts building as quickly as possible. Although the Stanton residence was not too far away from that building, he would have to run to all the way there to have a chance of arriving before one forty. He would have considered taking Morty if there were not so many people walking around campus and if he was not parked in a very cramped parking lot.

Hoping that he would have the energy and endurance to get there in time, Eli got on the elevator and impatiently waited for it to go to the ground floor. Once the elevator reached its destination and opened its doors, he did not hesitate to get moving. He ran passed whoever was waiting outside the elevator and maneuvered around anyone in the lobby. People made their remarks and gave him strange looks, but he was not really in the mood to care. It was easier to run when he got outside merely because there was more room to move around other students.

Eli ran so fast that he stumbled over his feet a few times and he had to use his free hand to break his fall so his draft would not get damaged. Beads of sweat started to cover his forehead and caused his bangs to stick to his skin. A painful stitch was forming in his side and he was experiencing shortness of breath; on top of that, the muscles in his legs and arms were getting sore and he could feel his heart beating so fast in his chest that he thought that it would explode at any minute. But he kept running. He was not going to let this chance slip away under any circumstances and slowing down would not do any good for him.

Eli was not sure how long he ran, but seeing the Arts building in front of him was like seeing an oasis in the middle of desert. He collected all the energy he had left and dashed through the entrance, not knowing how much time he had left. He raced down the corridor, avoiding any obstacles in his way. He ran and ran and ran until he finally found the room where all the Drama meetings were held; seeing a bright light at the end of the tunnel, he reached for the handle and . . .

"No."

He tugged on the handle with force; he jiggled it for a second, vainly hoping that the door would open up somehow so he could submit his work. He pushed the handle against the door and pulled it towards him again, wanting to receive some sort of sign that he was not too late.

After many more failed attempts to get the door open, Eli turned his head to see the clock on the wall. It was now a quarter till two . . . he missed the deadline.

"Dammit!" he growled, he kicked the foot of the door out of frustration.

Along with his fury and heartache, Eli felt all the pains that the running had did to him. His feet were throbbing, his lungs were on fire, he was drenched in perspiration, and every inch of his body was sore. Panting, he put his back against the wall before sliding down it. He sat on the marble floor, hating himself for not getting here on time. This could have been a chance to prove to himself and the rest of the Drama department that he was not going to just sit back and let the more experienced students take complete control; he could have made some sort of mark on the theatre community of this university, but he took that dream away from himself. Tasting the horrible taste of defeat, Eli ripped the folder and his draft down the middle, never wanting to be reminded of the chance he let slip away.

()()

Eli had the tendency to be annoyed by the people who consumed themselves with self-pity, thus it was not in his nature to do the same. Today, however, he did not really care if he went against his own values; he was irritated with himself and he wished that someone else could have been involved with this just so he would not be all alone in the blame. But he was the only person he could point the finger at, for no one else told him to stay up until the early hours of the morning working on a draft that was probably already as good as it could get.

He went to see his Shakespearean Lit teacher before he had to go to work and was able to get caught up on his work, but that did very little to improve his state of mind. Going to work did not make his day any better; he told Gary and Haley about what happened and Devin overheard, which led to him making snide remarks and it took Eli all his willpower to not say or do something he'll regret.

Just like many of his days at university, he felt a ton of stress come off his shoulders once he entered his room. The second he got back, he changed into a simple shirt and sweatpants before lying down on his bed. He checked his phone to see that it was eight fifteen, which meant he had to wait another hour before talking to Clare. Deciding that he would rather not have any work in the back of his mind while Skyping with her, he figured that he should get some homework done. Mainly doing it as a distraction from his wait and his annoyance with himself, Eli worked on his Math 101 homework and studied his Shakespearean Literature notes for a good forty-five minutes before he heard the door open.

"Hey," Josh greeted as he stepped into the room. Eli was surprised to see that he was balancing two packages on top of each other; one was the size of a shoebox and the one it was resting on was twice as thick and twice as long. "These were in our mailbox; both of them are addressed to you."

Eli stood up and grumbled a "thanks" before taking the boxes off Josh's hands. He put them down on the bed before going to his dresser and reaching into his first drawer to take out his small pocketknife.

"What's with you?" Josh asked, taking notice of Eli's behavior.

Eli sighed, looking down at the small pocket knife in his hand before he sat down on his bed and turned his attention to the packages.

"Today was the worst day here on record," he explained as he broke the seam of tape on the first box.

"Ouch," Josh sympathized. "Well, I'd stay and hear all about it, but I have to meet up with some people for a study group."

"Okay," Eli said, not really in the mood to talk to Josh about this anyway. "I'll see you around."

"See ya," he replied before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Eli opened the first box and saw that it contained cards that relatives had sent to his parents, who then forwarded them to the University of Ottawa. Most of them contained money and a short note from each relative, which Eli appreciated although he rarely saw them. Making a mental note to thank these family members, he finally got to the bottom of the box to see a small a square package with a small note taped on to it.

_Hope you enjoy listening to this. Have a great birthday and we'll all celebrate it for real when you come home. Keep on going, champ. Happy birthday!_

_Love_

_CeCe and Bullfrog_

Reading this message made Eli realize how strange it was that he was spending his birthday with people he barely knew instead of the people he loved; his parents, Clare, and Adam were all out of reach and him not being able to hear them say happy birthday to him in person actually made his heart go cold for a second.

He reached into the box, took out the package, and removed the wrapping before grinning at a copy of a Dead Hand album that he never had the opportunity to purchase. Knowing that he would _definitely_ be listening to that later, he reached over to the other box and opened it up. He saw a book of the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe resting on top of some sort of black material. He picked up the book and flipped through the pages to see many poems and stories he knew by heart and more that had yet to be discovered by his mind. Amazed, he gently put it next to his cards and CD before seeing what this black cloth was at the bottom of the box. As he held it up in front of him, he was able to see that it was a concert shirt for Poison's Flesh and Blood World Tour; he grinned even more, really thankful to the person who sent him this.

Wondering who this could be from – although he had a strong hunch – Eli looked back in the box to see if there was a note inside. He saw a piece of paper at the bottom and he only had to glance at the handwriting for a second to see who it was from.

_Happy Birthday Eli! I hope you had a great 18__th__ and that you enjoy the book and shirt. I love you so much and I can't wait to see you again. I can't wait for our special Skype date next week and I hope to talk to you soon. You're the best, Fluffy. Never forget that._

_Love, _

_Clare_

_xxx_

Eli smiled down at her words, wishing that he could just give her a quick kiss to thank her for these words. He would never admit it out loud, but he was actually starting to miss her calling him by this special nickname that she created for him almost a year ago. Maybe it was because he was longing to be back in Toronto, but he was starting to miss the small parts of his home life more and more. He missed having dinner with his family . . . being able to kiss his girlfriend . . . you name it, he missed it.

At the same time, he considered himself lucky to be living in the twenty-first century, where he could talk to and see his loved ones from three hundred miles. He put all his gifts, cards, and notes in a safe place before sitting at his desk at nine fifteen. Eli logged on to Skype at this designated time and, sure enough, he saw Clare in her room. She was grinning at him as her red dressing gown hugged her body; he wished that he could wear that same smile on his face, but he could not. After the day of he had, he was amazed that he had not lost his head by now. Even though he was thankful for the birthday gifts, they made him wish to be home and it made a small hole in heart. Seeing Clare on his screen calmed him down to a certain extent, yet he did not feel completely at peace as he usually would have. He cursed this day, despising it that it had affected him so much that not even his girlfriend could make him smile widely.

"Well hello there," Clare said in the most flirtatious voice she could create.

"Hi," he greeted, curious as to why she was speaking that way.

"How was your day?" she asked as she played with a strand of her hair.

"Uh . . . it could have been better."

"What happened?" she asked, the light tone disappearing and becoming concerned.

"First, I stayed up too late so I was tired all day; then I took a nap and slept through my Shakespearean Lit class _and _I missed the deadline for my play draft."

"What?" she gasped.

"Yeah," he responded. "I slept through it."

"I'm so sorry, Eli," she said, knowing how much this meant to him.

"That's just what I get for staying up too late," he shrugged. "But I'm fine, really."

Clare gazed at him sympathetically, wishing that his streak of bad days would soon come to an end. Whenever she called him that week, his voice seemed to always be dripping in misery and frustration. Due to that, she had yet to mention K.C and she made it her duty to do all she could to bring a smile to his face even if it was just for a second.

"I'm sorry you had such a rough day."

"Well, it can only get better from here," he shrugged. "How about you? How was your day?"

"It was fine," she said indifferently. "I just wish you had a better birthday."

"It's no big deal. But that reminds me; I got your package today."

"And . . .?"

"I can't believe you got me a book of all of Poe's work _and _a Poison concert shirt. Thank you _so_ much for them!"

"I'm glad you liked them."

"Clare, I love them."

"Even better," she smiled. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said. "I'll just have to work hard this weekend to catch up on what I missed today. At least it was only the one class."

"And the play?" she asked, comprehending that the source of his frustration could be coming from there.

Eli exhaled through his nose and looked at his keyboard, scolding himself for being so irresponsible about that situation.

"I'll have another chance to write a script," he said when he was finally able to look at her again. "I just have to come back with a bang next time."

"It sucks that all of this happened on your birthday."

"Oh well," he shrugged. "It wasn't the best, but it's not the end of the world."

Eli may have been an expert in hiding his feelings to a certain extent, but the mask he was wearing was so transparent that Clare could easily see through it. He was disappointed with himself, no doubt, and having a disappointing day overall must have put a strain on him. Taking in a breath, she gathered all her bravery and looked at Eli, determined to improve his birthday.

"Maybe I can . . . make your day a little better?"

"What do you mean?"

Clare grinned at him and pulled a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Since I can't be there with you in person on your birthday, I thought I'd do something special over webcam."

"How so?" he asked curiously.

"Let me show you."

She stood up and stepped away from the desk so her entire body was in the frame. He wished he had some clue as to where this was leading, but Clare could be so unpredictable with him that he was unsure what could happen. He sat in his chair as his girlfriend looked at him, waiting impatiently for her to start her special something.

"Are you alone?" she asked.

"Yeah, Josh is out with a study group or something," he said, his heart beginning to pound out of anticipation.

"Good, because no one in the world is allowed to see this but you," Clare informed him.

She bit her bottom lip before putting her hands on the belt of her gown. Hoping that Eli would enjoy what was about to happen and that she did not mess this up, she separated the gown and let it fall to the ground. Eli's eyes widened when he saw Clare wearing a red, low-cut V-neck shirt that stopped below her chest so he could see the majority of her stomach; in company to the top was a very dark denim skirt that was fairly tight around her bottom as his necklace rested on her exposed sternum. She saw Eli staring at her and she grinned suggestively, trying to build her confidence for him.

"Like what you see?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips and cocking her head to the side.

He nodded his head, a smirk on his face.

"A lot," he answered, feeling his body react in a million different ways to what he was seeing. He could not believe that the sight in front of him was real and that Clare was willing to wear this for him on his birthday; he was aware that she was not the biggest fan of wearing skintight clothes and short skirts, so her doing this for him was beyond incredible. He wanted to voice his appreciation, but his mouth and tongue did not want to move; he swallowed, staring at her as his eyes began to cloud with lust. His chest was heaving as Clare continued to grin at him through the camera. It was overwhelming that she had already sent his mind reeling and she had only been standing in front of him for two minutes; he shifted in his seat, trying to make himself more comfortable.

"Are you alright?" she asked with a grin.

"Absolutely," he said, his voice coming out huskier than he intended. He cleared his throat in attempt to cover it up, but Clare was already grinning timidly. "You look . . . so sexy."

"That's what I was going for," she said, trying to muster up all the courage in her so she would seem bold instead of reserved; she meant it when she said that she wanted Eli's birthday to be special and she was not about to let her insecurities ruin it for him. It definitely helped to see his facial expressions and hear him compliment her, however. "Want to see more?" she offered.

"U-Uh . . ." he stammered, taken aback. Whether today was his birthday or not, Eli did not want Clare to do anything she was uncomfortable with and that included her showing more skin than she wanted.

"It's a simple question. Yes or no?"

"W-Well . . ."

_Yes!_ His mind was hollering this one word and it refused to surrender; it was a miracle that he had not screamed it out by now. He wanted nothing more than to see more of her body, but he did not want her to cross any boundaries for him. If they were discussing this while he was still in Toronto it would have been one thing since they were still testing their limits of intimacy, but this was completely different; he was here and he did not want to make her feel uncomfortable.

"I-I don't know."

Clare rolled her eyes, knowing that Eli would only be thinking of her instead of his obvious desire. They had been together long enough that she was aware that her boyfriend loved her body and his hesitation was nothing to do with him not wanting to see her.

"You're the birthday boy; do whatever makes you happy."

"I just . . . don't want you to have a problem doing anything."

"If I had a problem doing it for you, it would not be happening."

Eli, seeing Clare's point in her argument, was still slightly unsure about accepting her request. He did want to see more of his beautiful girlfriend, but he was not completely convinced that she was certain about going through with it.

"I don't want you to feel weird about it."

Clare was pleased that she had a boyfriend who cared so much about her, but there were times like now when she wished he could just enjoy what she was offering.

"Eli, I'm fine with this," she assured him. "Trust me, okay?"

His heart began to beat faster than it did earlier that day during his race to the Arts building, yet it was not painful at all. If Clare was secure and did not have hesitation about this, then he should just lean back and be grateful for what she was doing.

"Are either of your parents there?"

"Mom's already asleep," she told him, pleased that she would not have to be paranoid about an interruption and the consequences that would come with it. She attempted to make eye contact with Eli through the computer screen while the wheels turned in his head. All she wanted right now was for him to give her an answer and she knew that it would only be a matter of seconds before he made his decision.

"Well . . . today wasn't really that good . . . so . . ."

"Allow me to . . . cheer you up a bit," she said sultrily before she carefully latched her fingers under the hem of the top. She was careful to not expose more than she intended as she stripped off the shirt before throwing it to the side. She fought the temptation to cover herself up with her arms by biting her bottom lip as sensually as possible, knowing that Eli liked it when she did that. She was now standing in the room in nothing but a red lace bra and the skirt; she would have considered discarding that too, but that was a limit she did not want to cross right now.

"Whoa . . . I . . . I uh . . ." he said, his heart racing and pumping blood through every part of his body.

"Enjoying your gift so far?" she asked, putting her hands back on her semi-cladded hips.

"Yep," he choked through his throat, which was tightening due to his wonderment.

"Because if it's getting weird for you, I can always cover myself back up," she suggested, knowing that he was going to refuse.

He shook his head frantically, wanting to ogle at her in this outfit for as long as possible. For too long he had not seen this much of her skin and he knew that he was a very fortunate guy for her to show him this much both in person and through Skype. Eli licked his lips, willing to give anything he had at this point to take Clare in his arms and kiss every inch of her skin.

Seeing her body so bare made his mind go into a whirlwind, which was not unpredictable since he had not seen her this way in so long and her doing this out of nowhere was enough for him to start feeling the passion that he had not experienced since his last night of intimacy with her. He was feeling much desire for his future wife at this point; he wanted to touch her skin with his hands and his lips and make her squirm with bliss.

"This is all you're seeing," she forewarned him, yanking him out of his thoughts. "I don't plan on you seeing me naked again until we're married."

"That's fine," he said, gawking at her. "This right here is . . . more than perfect."

Clare smiled at him; of the long list of traits she loved about Eli, him understanding and respecting her when it came to anything sexual was probably one of the things she admired the most. He never pushed her, pressured her, or asked for more, which really made her feel more comfortable in showing so much of herself to him.

"Wow," he said. "This is . . . wow."

Smiling with a bit of pride, Clare sat back down at her desk, but sat back enough to allow Eli to still see her. He tried to focus on her entire body instead of just one certain area, but there were times when his eyes would wander and he could not help but keep his eyes glued there. She giggled, noticing that he was staring at her torso.

"Sorry," he said, reluctantly tearing his eyes away. "I-I just –."

"Don't apologize," she voiced. "It's my additional gift to you."

"It's not making you feel weird, is it?" he asked, hoping that she would tell him the truth and not what he really wanted to hear.

"No," she eased, honesty clearly present in her voice. She was actually flattered that he was so in awe of her body, but she wanted to keep this about him so she did not speak of it. "How are you feeling now?"

"My day is _definitely_ getting better," he said, hardly remembering anything that had not occurred within the last fifteen minutes.

"Good," she purred, pleased that she was bringing him some sort of pleasure. "And, when you come home in twenty-two days, you might actually be able to do more than look."

Eli's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned back in his chair and craning his neck until he was facing the ceiling, desperately wanting to touch her skin at that moment but was more than willing to wait another few weeks if she was doing this for him right now.

"You are . . . I can't even begin to say how amazing you are."

Clare began to blush and it spread all the way down her neck and chest.

"Well, I wanted to do something special for you since it was your birthday and everything. And I wasn't going to be able kiss you or anything, so . . . I thought this would be enough."

"It's more than enough," he said, wishing that words could describe how grateful he was for what she had just done for him. "You really made my day. Thank you."

"You're welcome," she responded. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I think so," he stated, even though his emotions surpassed okay when he first saw Clare's attire. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can."

"Not that I don't appreciate what you just did, but . . . why? Why do this when you didn't have to?"

Clare suspected that Eli would ask that question, so she had her answer at the ready.

"You've been gone for three weeks and I just wanted to do something special for you on your birthday since you're not in Toronto."

Satisfied with her answer, Eli grinned at her with appreciation and focused directly on her eyes.

"You're the best."

She blushed and giggled again, and that made Eli's heart warm. He was able to see the daring side of Clare as well as the shy side, and he loved them both more than words can begin to describe.

"You are so perfect."

"You're not really supposed to be complimenting _me _on _your_ birthday," she said to him, trying not to get any redder.

"Fine, but then I'm going to be on the phone with you all night tomorrow telling you how incredible you are."

Clare bit back on her lip, wondering how it was possible for Eli to be such a sweetheart in every situation.

"It was your birthday gift; that's all."

"Well, it's definitely one of the best ones ever. Um . . . I'd love to talk longer, but I have to go . . . you know," he told her, pointing down with his eyes before looking back up at her.

"I'm sorry," she said with a bashful chuckle.

"Don't be," he said quickly. "Really, don't be."

She smiled and batted her eyelashes at him, content that he enjoyed this final contribution to his special day.

"Happy birthday, baby."

"Thanks," he replied, pleased for the first time today that it actually was his birthday. "I love you."

"I love you too. Sweet dreams."

"I'll definitely have those."

She blushed and smiled, her shy side slowly reemerging.

"Goodnight," she grinned.

"Goodnight."

Eli turned off his webcam, leaned back in his chair, and sighed; he smiled, trying to keep the images of Clare in his head and not let them slip away. Despite having a day plagued with problems and being away from the ones he loved, he was quite pleased that Clare had turned his night around. What she did for him tonight was beyond words and he would never be able to thank her for it. He saved the pictures in his memory, pleased that his eighteenth birthday ended a great note thanks to his girlfriend.

* * *

"_And it awakens your dreams_

_And kills all the demons_

_That you thought wouldn't leave"_

_~"To Die For" by Automatic Loveletter_

* * *

I know that Eli's birthday will probably be mentioned on the show eventually, but let's just say that it's in August in this story and that Clare's is in April (not February like it says on the Degrassi Wiki).

Until next time, I recommend reading anything by mur xo, The Cliffhanger Girl, Moxxy, eclarefanxxx, BlackRabbit550, and thegoodgirldoll.

Review!


	116. Suspicious Minds

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for your reviews! Here's the newest chapter. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . unfortunately, I won't be owning the new Black Veil Brides album any time soon either. They aren't releasing it until January. BOO!

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Sixteen

Suspicious Minds

Clare smiled down at her phone that Monday morning; she was leaning against her neighboring locker and reading the newest text Eli had sent her. Ever since his birthday Thursday night, he had sent her many messages about how much he loved her and how happy he was that he was with her even when they were five hours away. She would wake up to a very sweet text in company with the daily one that told her that he loved her, he would then send her the occasional one throughout the day, and he would send a final one at night before he went to sleep. She loved seeing this side of Eli; she knew he was probably repaying her for what she did on his birthday although she did not think he had to, but the words were appreciated nonetheless.

He had been more affectionate with her beyond texts. During their Skype session Sunday night, she asked if she could still send her essay over for him to revise it. He said yes, but not without being very complimentary by telling her that she was one of the best writers he had ever met. He told her this many times before and it still made her grin; it also did not hurt that he winked at her.

On this particular morning, Clare was gathering her books and waiting for Alli at her locker when she heard her message alert go off on her phone. She opened the text and she instantly began to blush like she always did when Eli put something sweet in a message.

_Good morning, beautiful girlfriend. I just check my email and I got your essay. I'll read it after work and then I'll talk to you about it on Skype tonight. I can't wait to see what masterpiece that brilliant mind of yours has created. Talk to you later, gorgeous. Have a great day. I love you very much xxx_

Clare bit back on her lip, flattered by every single one of Eli's words. She adored it whenever he told her something straight from the heart merely because that was a side of him that hardly anyone else would see; it made her feel special that he willingly showed his sensitive side to her. She typed her reply (_Thank you, handsome. You're the best. I love you too xxx) _before sending it and turning off her phone.

"Hey," Alli greeted seconds later.

"Hi," Clare replied. "How was your weekend?"

"Not bad," she shrugged, noticing how her best friend had a grin etched on her lips. "You seem oddly happy for a Monday."

"Oh, Eli just sent me another one of his sweet texts," she explained, putting her phone in her pocket before closing her locker.

"Aww," Alli gushed, silently wishing that she would be able to find someone for her like Clare found Eli. "I guess he's still being all lovey-dovey because of what you did for him on his birthday?"

Alli had known that Clare had done something for Eli's birthday over webcam, but she was unsure of all the details. As far as she knew, Clare just talked to him while wearing a sexy outfit; she was only aware of this because her best friend seemed a bit nervous and she vented to her about it.

"I think so, but he's a natural romantic; maybe he just likes sending me them."

"Either way, at least you're both happy. Does this mean he's alright with you and K.C being friends?"

"Well . . ." she began, not knowing how else to tell her that she had not mentioned anything to Eli yet.

"You still haven't told him?" she hissed.

"I couldn't. I didn't want us to be fighting over his birthday and . . . he sounds so happy every time we talked since then and he has not been that way for some time. Besides, if I tell him too soon it will just seem like I only did what I did on his birthday to butter him up."

"You're going to have to tell him eventually."

"I know, but how do I do that without worrying him or anything?" Clare said frantically when they began to walk down the hall. As Clare tried to contemplate a way to tell the truth to Eli, she began to comprehend how he felt months ago when he was thinking about how Kate kissed him for the first time and he wanted to find the right way to tell her about it. Thinking in retrospect to that time, she wished that she did not come down so hard on him; it was definitely one thing to be honest about certain parts of life and a completely different one to follow through with it.

"He'll understand," she assured her. "Just tell him that you're friends with K.C and that he's still in love with Jenna; noting bad could come from that."

"I don't know," Clare replied. "I told him about England and he was worried about me possibly falling for British strangers. What's he going to think when I tell him I'm spending time with K.C?"

"Eli's reasonable," Alli continued to persuade. "Just explain why you didn't tell him upfront and he should understand."

"If I tell him that I'm spending time with K.C, he's going to get super protective, maybe even clingy."

"Why? Maybe he'll believe you if you tell him that you and K.C are just friends."

"I'm not sure how much he'll believe that argument because of what happened between him and Kate. But he's either going to feel threatened or worry that K.C will do something else to hurt me."

"Or he'll be cool with it and be glad that you have a new friend."

Clare groaned inwardly, slightly annoyed that Alli was not seeing the realistic side. She greatly wanted Eli to understand and accept that she was friends with her ex-boyfriend, but that was nothing more than a fantasy and she knew it. Eli would probably be angered, envious, maybe even hurt and she did not want to inflict that upon him just when everything was finally beginning to settle down.

What was even more frustrating to Clare was that she did want to tell Eli because she wanted to believe that she could simply talk to him. She wanted to be able to discuss her life with him, and K.C was now a part of it; but she would not be able to do that unless she told him about the situation first. There was also the fact that she had assured him many times that she loved him and did not want to be with anyone else, so any form of threat should have been nonexistent. It was likely that Eli would not be completely fine with this at first, but Clare hoped that he would eventually accept it after some discussion.

"Okay, I'll tell him when we Skype tonight," she informed Alli when they entered their Physics class for homeroom.

The second she made this goal for herself, she began formulating a way to tell Eli about K.C. She almost sure that she was making it harder than it had to be, but she was only making it this way so she would keep Eli at peace and not give him any reason to be alarmed. One of her main concerns was that he would get jealous since she had been spending some time with her ex lately; he had only expressed envy a couple of times throughout their relationship, so she never really thought of him to be the jealous type and she did not want that to change.

It was also likely that his relationship with her would feel endangered, which she _definitely_ did not want. She had been through that twice with both Julia and Kate, so she was aware of how much that pain that could give a person and she did not want to put that on Eli. But, no matter how much she did not want to, she knew that it was more than likely that he would feel these ways if she told him about K.C.

There also could have been more thoughts that could form in his head that had yet to cross her mind. He could end up getting protective of her, or he could end up calling her every second to see if she was still willing to be with him or to be sure that K.C was not crossing any lines. Most of the time, Clare thought Eli's care for her was sweet, but there were times when he cared a bit too much. This has not happened for a while and she prayed that it would not happen again, but she would be risking it by telling him the truth.

Clare wandered down the aisles of shelves in the library during her morning study period, not getting any closer to figuring out a way to tell Eli. It was beginning to aggravate her to a great extreme and she needed to get her mind off it until she had a semi-clear head. She decided to go ahead and get started her second essay for England, which was why she was currently skimming the shelves. She was glad that her mind was sidetracked for the time being, although she understood that she would soon have no choice but to return to face the stress in her heart eventually.

"Hey."

She turned around and saw K.C coming into the library and joining her next to the shelves.

"Hey," she replied, trying to sound her usual self.

"What are you up to?"

"Looking for a book of plays by Shakespeare," she explained.

"I'm guessing it's so you can write an essay for that workshop."

"You got it," she nodded.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, sensing the tension within her. It was not her voice that gave her emotions away, but her eyes; they were full of emotion and they seemed to not be focused on what was around her.

"I'm fine," she told him. "Just thinking about some stuff."

"Boyfriend dilemma?" he presumed.

In spite of the negativity in her, Clare could not help but grin at his wording.

"No," Clare said, half lying. "It's just . . . it's complicated."

"Anything I can help with?" he offered.

"Thanks, but why would you want to hear about my problems?" she said, turning to him.

"Isn't that what friends are for?" he half shrugged.

Clare sighed and turned back to the books, debating whether or not to talk to K.C. She could not tell him that she was worried about upsetting Eli because of him; at the same time, she needed to release some of the frustrations that were in her.

"Is it about Eli?" he asked.

Clare looked down for a second before organizing her thoughts so she could be able to put them into speech. If she was to talk to him about this, she would have to be cautious so he would not suspect that he was part of the current issue at hand; she did not want him getting involved when it was not his fault and it would not be right to put him in the middle of this when all he did was mend the bridge between them.

"It's not him; it's everything that's happening because of the distance."

"What do you mean?" he inquired, ready to hear anything she had to say.

"It's just hard having this long-distance relationship sometimes," she illustrated. "Every time I want to talk to him about something, I get so worried about how he's going to feel about it and if it's going to lead to a fight that I don't end up telling him period."

"Is that what happened when you told him about England?" he asked her.

"No, I told him that; he was a bit . . . unsure at first, but since then he's seemed to be okay about it; he's even helping me by reading over my essays like we used to when he was here. But something else is going on and I want to tell him about it because he _is _my boyfriend, but I'm trying to find a way to tell him without it leading to some argument."

"And you can't think of a way to do that?" he concluded.

She nodded before glancing at more book spines. She was feeling slightly better now that she had vented a bit, yet there was still so much buzzing in her head that she was still struggling to find a solution to her problem.

"I'm going to talk to him tonight, but no matter how I tell him we'll probably end up fighting."

"You guys will work it out; you've had fights before, right?"

"Yeah, but distance changes things. We haven't had a real fight since he's been away and I'm scared that it will be really, really bad and that . . . that we'll break up."

Clare surprised herself by how much she was saying to K.C, but these thoughts had been locked away for so long that it was becoming difficult to contain them. Clearly, she had not let Eli in on her pain, Alli was a bit too overbearing with the advice at times, and she was apprehensive to go her mother in case she said something that she did not want to hear. K.C was the first person who had actually let her talk in some time and it was a relief that she could get some of this stress off her shoulders.

"He cares about you, Clare," K.C consoled her. "He wouldn't break up with you over this."

"I know, but . . . it still worries me."

She took a breath, trying to get her emotions under control so she would not get herself worked up and begin ranting in the middle of the school library.

"I just want him to get home soon so it could be like it was before," she told him.

"When's that going to be?"

"A bit more than two weeks, but it's going _so slow_," she groaned.

"You just have to get your mind off it for a while; do something else," he suggested as he followed her to the neighboring shelves of books. "That way time will go faster."

"That's probably the best thing to do," she acceded, finally selecting the book she had been looking for and taking it off the shelf.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Once Eli and I get everything straightened out, hopefully everything will get better."

The two of them began to walk towards the checkout counter of the library, both of them remaining silent. While they walked, Clare saw more than ever that K.C was not the bad person she pictured him to be for so long. He listened to her, gave her helpful advice, and did not argue with her about her decisions. She was grateful for this; it had been a while since she had someone standing next to her who allowed her to let out emotions without telling her that she was making some sort of mistake. It was a pleasant change, and she was relieved that she could fully have K.C's trust again.

"Thanks for the friendly ear."

"Anytime," he grinned.

()()

K.C's kindness kept her spirits slightly higher for the rest of the day, but it was not enough to keep her from worrying. All day she had been fighting with herself until she found a way to gently break the news to Eli; she would wait until he asked her how her day was and then she would gradually let him know that she was now friends with K.C. She would be kind about it and reassure him that there was nothing to get upset over before giving the comfort he would possibly need. After he was calm and felt no sort of pain, she would remind him of their long-distance date to brighten the mood and hope for the best.

At nine fifteen, she was sitting at her desk, talking at Eli through Skype. She listened to him closely as told her about the essay he had just finished editing for her.

"I thought your essay was really good," he said to her. "There are just a couple of things here and there that could use some work, but other than that it's gold."

It was at moments such as these when Clare was grateful to have a boyfriend who was getting a college education. There was no doubt that he had tried his sincere hardest to help her and that he had applied all his knowledge to do so.

"Thank you so much," she praised with a smile.

"No problemo," he disregarded.

"Now I just have to do two more and then I'll never have to worry about them again."

"Do you want me to edit those ones as well?" he asked.

"Um . . . if you wouldn't mind," she accepted.

"Of course I don't, Blue Eyes," he assured. In his mind, she had stepped out of her comfort zone to do something incredible for him on his birthday, so he would gladly edit her essays for her despite his dislike of her potential departure.

"Thanks, Eli."

"Don't mention it. You would do the same for me if I was the one going to England."

"I wish you could come with me."

"Me too," Eli agreed, knowing that he would not have this much concern about the situation if he was there with her. "Maybe someday we could go together."

"Like say . . . on our honeymoon?" she proposed.

"I'd say that's a possibility," Eli concurred, both of them now smiling at the idea of any honeymoon with their significant other. "What's your next essay about?"

"I have to review a play by Shakespeare."

"Sweet," he declared. "What play?"

"I'm torn between _Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, _and _Julius Caesar_."

"All of which are epic in their own way," he noted, seeing that she had a very tough choice in front of her. "How are you going to decide?"

"I don't know, but I'll figure it out."

"When you do, let me know if my Shakespeare expertise is needed."

Clare laughed, just knowing that Eli would have found a way to brag about his knowledge on the literary figure.

"I will."

"So is anything new going on?"

In Clare's mind, all humor and lightheartedness of the moment had passed and it was clear that if she was to tell Eli about K.C, now would be the best time. Then again, she only thought this because she could not think of any other moment that would be appropriate. She had already put strain on the situation for delaying this reveal, but it was better late than never.

"Um . . . I made a new friend."

"Really?" he said, pleased that she was broadening her social life for her senior year.

"Yeah. He's in my grade and –."

"He?" her boyfriend repeated, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah," Clare said, not quite sure if it would be wise to reveal the name of this person now. He may have been attempting to hide it, but she could tell that he was now going to act a bit unusually; his face had drained of color, his eyes were absent of light, and she noticed that he was now breathing a bit more. "You're not . . . jealous, are you?"

"No," Eli responded quickly, although he was not quite certain what he was feeling. His mind was racing, his blood had turned cold, and he felt like his stomach had disappeared. Trying to shake this feeling but very curious as to who was spending time with his girlfriend, he cleared his throat. "Um . . . so . . . what's he like?"

"Oh, he's just the typical guy," she described, now wishing she did not bring up this information. She refused to say K.C's name now, for Eli obviously was not pleased with her having a male friend; telling him just who this friend was would no doubt lead to disaster.

"That's specific," he chuckled, trying not to sound bitter. "Come on, what's he like?"

"Well . . . he's nice, he plays sports, and he's smart," she listed, hoping that she was not glorifying K.C too much. They may have started over and he may have been a great friend to her today, but she was not interested in him in any way beyond friendship and she did not want to give that idea to Eli.

"Are you two close?" he asked, now avoiding eye contact with her so she would not see the pain in his eyes.

"Not really. We only hang out at school and he hangs out with his guy friends a lot."

"Is he friends with Alli?"

"Yeah," she said. "He's actually closer to her."

"Cool," Eli remarked, sounding slightly relieved that this guy was closer to someone single than someone planning to get married.

Desperate to find a path that will lead out of this conversation as fast as possible, Clare spoke the first phrase that came to her head.

"Ready for our long-distance date on Friday?"

"Definitely," he nodded, seeing that day as the highlight of his week.

"Good. I am too."

"I'm actually really excited," he began. "I know it's not a real date and everything, but we'll still be together and that's what's important."

She grinned at both his optimism and how they were now straying away from their conversation about her new friend.

"If we're lucky, it may feel like a real date."

"I hope so. But I can't wait until we have a real date when I get home."

"I'm definitely looking forward to that," Clare stated, smiling that his weekend back home will more than likely be wonderful just like they both wanted. "At least we have our Skype date at the park to hold us over."

"True," he said.

"What time do you get off work on Friday?"

"Eight, so I expect you on webcam at the park no later than eight fifteen, Miss Edwards," he told her directly, pretending to be stern.

"I won't be late," she promised, chuckling at his act.

"Great," he said her before letting out a slightly aggravated breath. "I'm sorry to cut this short, baby, but I have to get some studying done."

"Okay. Goodnight. I love you," she grinned at him.

"I love you too. Very much."

The second Eli was off her screen, Clare let out a breath and dropped her smile; she put her elbows on her desk before burying her face in her hands. She felt rotten for keeping this secret from Eli and she was scolding herself for believing for a second that this would not have been a big deal. She knew how Eli could get and she should have known better than to say anything about this; he could have sitting his room right now, worrying that this could do something fatal to their relationship. As she sat there, she came to the conclusion that taking a chance like that again was not an option. Doing so could result in a very fretful Eli or a horrible shouting match between the two of them; she was not going to risk that happening, thus she was now sure of what she had to do . . . or not do . . .

()()

"I'm not going to tell him."

"What?" Alli exclaimed, eyes widening as they sat on one of the benches along the walls of the school. Clare had just reported to her that she tried telling Eli about being friends with K.C the night before and how she failed to deliver all of the information.

"I can't. You should have seen the look on his face when I told him that I had a new friend who was a guy."

"Maybe he was just surprised."

"But then he started asking me all these questions; it was too much for me to handle and I didn't know what to do. If I tell him that my new friend happens to be my ex, it's not going to be pretty."

"And you didn't tell him at all about how being interrogated was making you feel?"

"No," Clare admitted.

"Clare, remember what happened when you kept your feelings from Eli when he started acting clingy and everything? You gave him back your promise ring then you broke up."

"I know, Alli," she snapped, not really wanting to think about that. "But I understand why he was a bit shocked about me having a guy friend; I was that way too at first when he told me he made a new friend at Ottawa who was a girl."

"Do you really think not telling him about K.C isn't going to hurt him?"

"He's stressed, he misses home, and he has a million things going on; telling him that I'm friends with K.C will just be another distraction."

"This won't help anything," Alli forewarned.

"Eli wanted me to make new friends."

"I don't think he meant your ex-boyfriend."

"He doesn't control who my friends are."

"But what do you think he's going to say when he finds out that your new friend is K.C? You know he'll find out eventually."

"Even if he does, it's my life. Who I'm friends with is _my_ business and I don't have to tell him who all my friends are."

"Okay, _now _you're just making excuses so you won't have to tell him."

Clare held her tongue between her teeth, trying her sincere hardest to not say something to Alli that she would later regret. She believed it would be wise to remove herself from this situation as quickly as possible, thus she rose from the bench before moving in the direction of her homeroom. She walked as quickly as she could without attracting attention, but that did not stop Alli from catching up with her.

"You guys made a pact of honesty," she admonished. "Don't you think this should be mentioned?"

"Just because w have that doesn't mean we have to tell each other every last detail about our lives," Clare retorted.

"There's a difference between not sharing details and excluding information. You _know_ you're doing wrong by not telling Eli."

"Look," Clare snapped, stopping in her tracks and facing Alli. "Maybe when everything is less hectic and when I don't think he'll be hurt, I'll tell him; but now is not the best time."

"There's _never_ a good time to tell someone these things, Clare; and putting it off will just make it worse. It'll be better to just get it over with."

"Alli, it's not an option, okay?" she restated. "Eli and I are already walking a thin line with waiting so long to get married _and _having a long-distance relationship. I'm not going to do anything to mess that up and if that means keeping things from him because I don't want him to worry or be hurt, then I will. It's not like I'm not telling him anything so I can sneak around with K.C; I'm doing this because I care about Eli and I don't want him to worry about more than he has to."

By the end of Clare's monologue, Alli was replaying every word she had just heard and began to see the situation from a different viewpoint. It was evident that her motives were selfless to a certain extent and that it was not to cause harm. Alli also understood Clare well enough to know that it was hard to not talk to Eli about parts of her life, so this probably was not going to be the easiest task in the word from her. Finally seeing this, Alli nodded and met Clare's eyes.

"Alright, I see your point," she accepted. "So what are you going to do?"

Clare took a breath, hoping that this compunction would fade soon.

"I'm going to get through the rest of the week as usual, I'm going to go on a long-distance date with Eli on Friday, and then I'm going to sit back and wait until he gets home and pray that nothing goes wrong."

* * *

"_We're caught in a trap _

_I can't walk out_

_Because I love you too much, baby"_

_~"Suspicious Minds" by Elvis Presley_

* * *

I hope you guys liked this chapter (if not, the next chapter will be better). I'm hoping to update sometime this week. Review please!


	117. 1, 2, 3, 4

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you to the awesome people for your reviews for this story! You guys who took the time to give feedback for this story are the greatest! Thank you for the support and everything. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I am here to be an author, and I accept reviews to receive feedback, not so I can be a billboard (we have forums for that). I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Seventeen

1, 2, 3, 4

Clare released her guilt and moved on with her life. In her mind, she was doing Eli a favor by not telling him anything more about K.C; he already knew that she had a male friend and that she was not going to fall for him, therefore anything else should have been classified as unimportant. For the first time in a while, she did not have stress, she did not have worry, and she was completely at peace.

She, Alli, and K.C continued with life at Degrassi while she maintained constant contact with Eli. The extra affection he had been giving her slowly decreased back to normal, but the two of them still sent texts in the morning and night to tell say that they loved each other. She was pleased to hear that he was fine despite not being able to help write the script for the play; it seemed that he had finally adapted to university life completely and was just now waiting to come home.

To their delight, the time appeared to have sped up some during that week because it was soon Friday night. Their first long-distance date was tonight and Clare was more than excited. Sure, they were five hours away from each other and they were having it over webcam, but it was still a date in her opinion. It was a fairly warm that August night, so she just put on a pair of jeans and a dark purple blouse. The necklace Eli had given her to hold on to was still secure around her neck as it had been almost second since he gave it to her before his departure. She picked up her phone and took her laptop off its charger around eight o'clock before heading out of her house and towards the park.

Even though this was probably not an official date, it surely felt like one to Clare. She had the light fluttering of butterflies in stomach just like she always had when Eli took her out for a date. She was jubilant, slightly nervous about what could happen, and felt blessed that Eli had chosen to go on a date with _her_; it was an array of feelings she always felt before a date and Clare loved every second of it. She did not expect to have these feelings when they went on these dates through cell phone or Skype, but now knowing that she would made her feel a lot better about this; maybe these would not be so different from the real dates except for the physical affection.

After minutes of walking, Clare found herself stepping into the park. She was pleased to see that it was completely deserted so she and Eli could be alone; hoping that no one would come and intrude their night together, Clare sat down on the bench under a tree. Thankful for having an Internet connection, she logged on to Skype and waited for Eli to sign on so their date could begin. As she waited, she constantly ran her fingers through her hair before patting it down. She was surprised how this was already beginning to feel like a date; sitting here reminded her of when she would make adjustments to her appearance while she waited for him to pick her up from her house. It was really nice for her to experience this all again, considering she had not had this feeling for so long.

At exactly eight fifteen, Eli came online and was sending a call through Skype to Clare. She accepted the call, smiling when she saw his face as he sat on a bench under a tree much like the one she was under right now.

"Good evening," he greeted her.

"Hi," she responded.

"We now begin long-distance date number one."

"The first of many."

"And I must say that you look beautiful tonight," he complimented, grinning when he saw her blushing a second after he said the word beautiful.

"You don't look half-bad either."

Eli was wearing a dark blue shirt with his black blazer and Clare could see that he was wearing the vial of blood necklace.

"Thank you," he replied, trying not to turn red. "So now we just do what we usually do when we go to the park."

"Besides make out for ten minutes straight," she added.

That earned a smirked from Eli although it was a disappointing fact of the evening.

"Much to my dismay," he conveyed before deciding to start the conversation. "So . . . how's Drama club going? I haven't heard you talk about it much."

"Well, actually, I probably won't be doing it that much this year."

"Really?" he remarked, raising his eyebrows.

"I'm taking the class, but I've been too busy with work, essays, and my other classes to consider doing too much with it."

"Does that mean you won't try writing the script again this year?"

"Probably not," she said, lightly shaking her head. "I'll probably just go back to doing props again."

He was definitely surprised that Clare was not going to be participating much in Drama. She loved theatre, thus he thought that she would have find the time to jump onboard and do whatever she could for the club.

"If only you had the time for everything."

"Oh well," she shrugged. "At least there's a chance of me doing one again in university."

"True," Eli responded with a grin.

"How about you? Is Drama in Ottawa going alright?" she asked as delicately as possible, not wanting to bring up unpleasant memories of how he missed his deadline for his script draft.

"It's alright," he said. "We're all working in groups to brainstorm more ideas for the play and we're doing acting exercises at the moment, so it's not bad."

"I'm glad."

"Have you heard anything else about England yet?"

"Not yet, but I'm already starting to save money for it and I'm working on my second essay whenever I can."

"How's that coming along?"

"It's not right now; I want to reread the play I chose before I review it."

"Which one are you doing?"

"_Julius Caesar_."

"Cool. I'm kind of surprised you didn't pick _Romeo and Juliet_," he conceded, believing that she would have gone with the play that had more sentimental value to them or the one that she seemed to have a deeper interest for.

"I would have, but I'm sure many others will be doing that one and I'm thinking it would be best to do something different."

"Okay," he said, seeing her point. "How's your AP English class coming along?"

"Oh my God," she groaned, not wanting to think about that class right now. "It is so . . . intimidating. There's a lot of allegory and annotating – which I enjoy, don't get me wrong – but it gets really stressful at times because I either read too deep into the text or I don't read into it deeply enough."

"I have to do the same thing in my Literature and Composition class."

"Do you get frustrated too?"

"I did at first, but the more I did it the more I realized when I was overthinking it and when I needed to dig deeper."

"I wish I was able to realize it by now."

"You'll get there eventually," he assured her. "The more you do it, the easier it will become."

"I hope you're right," she sighed. "I stay up late enough as it is juggling homework, essays for England, studying, and work; the last thing I need is to learn that I'm going to be doing something that I'll never be able to get a hold of."

"Don't worry, Clare," he eased her, knowing how frustrated she could get when she gets stressed. "Just give it time. And, if you ever need someone to help you with homework or anything, I'm off work by eight and I can Skype all night."

She grinned at him, appreciating his words and believing that he would follow through with them if she ever needed him to help her.

"You're the one at university and _I'm_ the one complaining about school."

"It's your last year there; it's bound to get stressful."

"But you hardly seemed to get this stressed last year."

"I was distracted," he mentioned before winking at her.

Clare's face turned red as gentle butterflies tickled the inside of her stomach.

"If only I had a distraction throughout my day."

"Well, it could be worse," he told her. "I mean, you could be chased by a flock of weasels or something."

Clare laughed as he said this; that one little joke instantly cleared her mind of school and it brought her back to the date she was having with Eli.

"You definitely know how to make me laugh at the right time."

"Just think of me as your personal court jester," he smirked playfully.

"My very _sexy_ personal court jester," she elaborated.

"Clare, you flatter me," he jested.

She rolled her eyes with a simper before lifting her head up to the direction of the sky.

"The moon is really pretty tonight," she observed, looking at it as it shone through the night.

"Yeah," he agreed, doing the same. "It's really cool knowing that we are looking at the same moon and stars even though we're hundreds of miles away."

Clare took in his words and smiled. They may have been miles and miles apart from each other, but she felt that they were connected by a single gaze at the moon. In that moment, she actually did not feel that far away from him.

"This is really romantic," she said.

"I just wish I could hold you, drive you home in Morty, and give you a kiss goodnight."

"Me too," she replied. "But we'll be able to do all those things soon enough."

Eli smiled at that fact.

"I'm counting down the days until I see you again," he said. "Seriously, I have a countdown chart on my wall. Every day before I go to sleep, I cross out the day and I see how much longer it is until I come back to visit."

"And how much longer is it until we see each other?" she asked, wanting to know the exact number of days she had to wait.

"Thirteen days after today."

"Really? That's less than two weeks!" she exclaimed, pleased that it wouldn't be too long of a wait.

"I know," he smiled. "I can't wait."

"Me neither," she complied. "I think that when you come home, we should spend a night just looking at the sky."

"Yeah," he agreed, returning his eyes to the glowing orb and dots in the dark blanket above the earth. "It's weird to think that you and I haven't had a date in over a month."

"I know," she sighed. "And we haven't kissed either."

Eli's lips then felt alone and needy; for way too long his lips have been bereft of Clare's kiss and they suddenly did not feel right on his face because of how lonesome they were. He stared at the moon, imagining that he and Clare would be able to meet on it and share a kiss. It did not matter to him if it was brief and sweet or long and fiery; as long as the two of them exchanged a kiss of some sort, he would be satisfied.

He turned back to his laptop, figuring that it was time to get back to their date instead of torturing himself with the impossible. Looking back at the computer, he saw that Clare had her eyes closed and seemed to be whispering some words to herself.

"What are you doing?" he asked curiously.

"Making a wish," she stated, reopening her eyes and turning back to him.

"You still that, hu?" he grinned, recalling Adam's party over a year ago.

"Yeah," Clare said. "And you know what can really suck about wishing on stars?"

"What?"

"Sometimes they can't come true."

Eli sat there, yearning with all his heart that he could be able to find a way to make her wish come alive. He had been putting her through a lot lately by being so far away; she deserved for whatever wish she had to come true even if he had to make it happen himself.

"What did you wish for?" he asked, forgetting the superstition of jinxing a wish if it was revealed.

"For you to kiss me tonight," she admitted, not seeing the harm in telling him since she knew it would not come true whether she told him or not.

"If I get in Morty now, I may be able to make that happen."

"But that means you'll have to drive all night," she reminded.

"It'll be worth it," he shrugged.

"You would really drive five hours in the middle of the night just so you can kiss me?"

"And also to get one of your amazing hugs," he added on. "I'm being dead serious here."

"Eli," she gushed, astonished that he was making this proposition.

"What's it going to be, Edwards?"

Clare sat there, still trying to process just how earnest Eli was being. She did not think it was possible for someone to be this spontaneous, yet there he was telling her that he would drive three hundred miles to make her wish come true.

"Don't you have to be at work tomorrow?" she asked him, seeing the only factor in the way of her agreeing to his proposal.

"Not until noon; if I leave before seven, I should get there on time."

Clare sat there, thinking about accepting his offer. She needed to see Eli, kiss him, and hold him and not let go. She did not want to wait another thirteen days to see him, but seeing him for only an hour would be enough for her until she saw him again.

But she had to think of the negative side of this in order to make the correct decision. If he did leave at this moment, it would mean that their date would be cut short and she would not see him for at least another five hours. It would also mean that he would only be able stay for one or two hours before leaving again. If he did this, it would be highly possible that he would not get to work on time and that would result in him losing his job. He may be leaving at an appropriate time, but something would happen and she did not want to chance anything. Knowing what she had to do, she looked at Eli with regretful eyes.

"I wouldn't want to risk you getting fired or anything, so I'll just try and stick it out for another thirteen days."

"Are you sure?" he ensured. "I don't mind."

"I'm sure."

"What about your wish?"

"You'll kiss me again eventually."

Feeling unreasonably guilty for not making Clare's wish come true, he surrendered to her words and decided to wait. He was not overly happy about it, but he knew that he would be able to hold on for a little while longer.

"I may not be able to do it now, but I will in two weeks, okay?"

"And then I'll give you one of my hugs," she promised.

"Only one?" he said.

"Well, maybe two if you ask nicely. Three if you let me spend the night with you."

Eli smiled at her words, definitely tempted to take her up on what she was presenting. He craved for many nights to be hugged by her and to lie next to her on one of their beds in Toronto. Those were just a couple of the things he missed the most about home and he was relieved that he would soon be able to experience it all again in good time.

"You got yourself a deal."

Their date continued with plenty of smiles, laughs, and conversations that were light and joyful. It was surprising just how much this felt like a real date instead of one over webcam; it helped a great deal that they were both in a similar setting and they felt close to each other indeed.

"When's curfew?" he asked of her some time later.

"Ten," she answered. She then checked the time on her computer and saw that she had to be home in fifteen minutes. She let out a melancholy sigh before turning back to Eli. "I really don't want this to end; I just want to talk to you for the rest of the night."

Eli then showed his phone to the camera.

"Then it's a good thing we live in the twenty-first century."

For one of the first times since he left, Clare actually saw a positive side to Eli being so far away. She may have had to be come by a certain hour, but this also meant that she did not have to wait until he got home to continue their conversation; they could continue speaking for a while longer without having to stop talking so one of them could get home safely.

"I've always loved the way that dark, twisted mind of your works," she grinned at him, pulling out her phone.

"I know you do," he smirked, dialing her number.

Within seconds, Clare was answering Eli's call via phone and logging out of Skype then closing her laptop.

"May I walk you home, Miss Edwards," he endeavored of her as closed his own laptop and got to his feet.

Clare grinned, loving the thought of being able to talk to him and walk home with him without him being there physically.

"Thank you, Mr. Goldsworthy."

"My pleasure."

()()

"One second," she whispered to him minutes later as she arrived at her front door.

It seemed that Helen had already retired for the night but left the door unlocked for her daughter. Determined not to disturb the still house, Clare quietly closed the door and locked it behind her before going up the stairs as silently as possible. She was cautiously going down the hall, not daring to speak a word until she was back in the privacy of her room. She accomplished her goal and was mutely going into her room without waking her mother.

"Okay," she spoke once her door was closed. "Now where were we?"

"I think you were just telling me what you love about me," he informed her as he sat at his desk in his room.

"Right," she recalled. "Let's see . . . you're smart, funny, sensitive, handsome, witty . . ."

"Amazing in every way possible?" he suggested cockily.

"If you want to put it that way," she chuckled lightly as she put her phone on speaker and placed it on top of her dresser.

"So, what are you doing now?"

"Getting changed," she answered as she pulled off her jeans.

Eli felt a smirk come to his lips, trying to keep the images out of his head out of respect for his girlfriend.

"Getting ready for bed then?" he assumed, looking at the picture on his desk of her by the lake so it would help keep his mind in safe territory.

"Just getting more comfortable," she clarified as she pulled on some pajama pants. "What are you doing?"

"Sitting at my desk while looking at a picture of you," he answered.

"Isn't Josh there?" she inquired, changing into her pajama top before grabbing her phone, turning it off speaker, and sitting on her bed and leaning against her headboard.

"No. I told him I was probably bringing a pretty girl back to the room tonight, so he's probably out doing something to give us privacy."

"You're bringing a girl back to your room?" she repeated.

"Yes, I've been talking to her all night and I'm talking to her now and I desperately want to kiss her right now because we just had an amazing date."

Clare sighed while letting out a soft laugh.

"You scared me for a second."

"What other girl would I want to bring back?"

Clare let another giggle slip while her cheeks shone red.

"What are you wearing?" he then asked.

"Why would you like to know?" she questioned teasingly.

"Natural curiosity," he answered.

Rolling her eyes with a light chuckle, she grabbed the plush panda bear that was resting next to her on the bed; she had started keeping on her mattress on a daily basis instead of under her window so she would be able to have some of Eli's presence with her while she slept. She kept in against her chest as she leaned against her headboard.

"White pajama pants and a light blue spaghetti strap top."

A smile grew across Eli's lips as she described it to him; he could practically envision the way the pant legs flowed down her limbs while the top hugged her curves.

"Beautiful," he said without thinking yet not regretting that the word slipped from his mouth. He just knew that she was blushing at this point and he grinned at the vivid image that was in his head.

"Not really," she said to him.

"Yes, really," he riposted.

"Why are you so sweet to me all the time?"

"Because I love you," he said with a simple shrug.

They talked for a couple more hours and it was amazing that they did not even have to try to make conversation; it came so naturally that they did not even notice how the time was passing them by. They had soon started a game that they had played nearly a year ago when they each asked each other questions to learn more about the other. Since they knew so much – practically everything – about each other already, they mainly asked about past memories. It was currently Eli's turn to give Clare a question and he was trying to think of a good one.

"How about . . . favorite snow day memory as a kid?"

"Easy," she proclaimed. "When I was six and Darcy was ten, she and I had a day off school because of the snow and we went outside to build a snowman."

"Nice," he commented, visualizing the fun she and her sister must have had so long ago.

"We spent all day on it, trying to make it look like our dad as much as we could; it didn't turn out great, but we spent all day outside and we really bonded."

"Sounds like you guys had fun," Eli affirmed.

"We did," she said. "Those were good times."

"Your turn."

"Okay . . . what is your favorite Halloween memory from your childhood?"

"Hmm . . . when I was seven, my parents took me to a Halloween party the station was hosting. Everyone had to dress up as something, so my parents went as Han Solo and Princess Leia and . . . I was Yoda."

Clare chuckled, imagining how Eli could have looked like as the legendary _Star Wars_ character.

"Do you have pictures of that?"

"Oh, I'm sure my mother has them in the house somewhere."

"I need to see those."

"In your dreams," he scoffed amusingly before glancing down at his watch. "Wow, it's midnight already."

Clare looked at her clock, not wanting to believe that they had talked for nearly four hours only to have it feel like half of that.

"I guess it is. Maybe we should call it a night so you don't get tired of talking to me any time soon."

"Oh babe, you know I can never get tired of talking to you."

"Except for when I talk about _Twilight_ too much, right?"

"Well . . ." he said slowly, not wanting to take back what he said but also wanted to confirm that her _Twilight _fetish could get slightly aggravating.

She chuckled at his indirect yet honest answer.

"I rest my case."

"But I'll still love you no matter how many times you talk about it."

"Just like how I'll still love you even when you talk about comics and videogames."

"Exactly," he acknowledged, causing Clare to laugh. "Did you enjoy this date?"

"I did."

"Would you be interested in a second?"

"Absolutely," she said, smiling at the thought. "Just tell me when and where and I'll be there."

"Great," he said with a smile. "I'll just have to see when I'm not working or anything."

They had been talking for so long that Clare had forgotten that he was in Ottawa, but his reminder brought her back to the dismal reality that he was not a few blocks away.

"I can't wait to see you again."

"Just two more weeks," he reminded her. "Then we'll be out on a real date or maybe even having a sleepover."

Clare smiled, desperate to feel the warmth Eli provided her.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Sweet dreams, Blue Eyes."

"Sweet dreams," she replied before hanging up her phone. She turned to her nightstand to put her phone down, a picture catching her eye in the process. It was one of the pictures Alli took of her and Eli at prom; she smiled at his handsome face, not knowing how much longer she would be able to wait until she would finally be able to kiss his lips again.

"Goodnight, Elijah," she whispered to the picture before turning off her lamp, nestling herself under the covers, laying her head on her pillow, and holding her panda. The night was definitely a memorable one for Clare. This first long-distance was a success and she knew that their second one was going to be just as amazing. Now all they had to wait for was for the next two weeks to come and go so they could hold each other in their arms again.

* * *

"_I'm so glad I found you_

_I love being around you"_

_~"1, 2, 3, 4" by Plain White T's_

* * *

Yeah . . . I don't know what to think about this one. I usually have moments when I have a not so good feeling before publishing, and this happens to fall into one of those moments.

Less than a month until Degrassi starts back up! Review the story please!


	118. Sparks Fly

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for the feedback and for the support! I'm glad to see that many are still reading this. Thank you to everyone who is sticking by this story. Here's the newest chapter. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . you're fired.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Eighteen

Sparks Fly

"Three more days until Eli comes home," Alli sang on a Wednesday morning when she, Clare, and K.C stepped into their Physics class.

"I know," Clare gushed. "I haven't had a good night sleep in days because I've been up all night thinking about it."

"What are you guys planning on doing this weekend?" K.C asked.

"Nothing big," she answered as she and Alli took a seat at their usual lab table. "Probably just go on a date and spend time together."

"Nothing too crazy then?" he inquired, recalling how Clare always mentioned how much of a romantic Eli supposedly was.

"We might do something," she said, honestly not minding what they did not as long as she got to see her boyfriend. "We'll just have to wait and see."

"Take your seats, everyone," Mr. Betenkamp announced a second later. K.C then traveled to his table behind Alli and Clare and took his seat next to Dave. "As you all know, we've been studying electromagnetism and how it can be used within our daily lives in both positive and negative ways. Since you all appear to have a decent grasp on the subject matter, I would like you and a partner of your choice to write an essay on an example of this and have it turned in by no later than next Friday. So, partner up and let's get started."

The first and only person who sprang to Clare's mind was Alli, of course. Alli was the scientist and Clare was the writer; combined, the two of them would ace this assignment and she was confident in that. The two of them had worked together as partners this year in many subjects for just as many assignments, so she believed that this did not require any discussion.

"Hey, Alli."

She turned around and Clare glanced over her shoulder to see who was speaking to Alli. Dave was lightly leaning over the table so Alli would be able to hear him.

"Do you want to work together?"

She hesitated, not quite sure how to respond. She was planning on working with Clare like always, but nothing had been finalized and she would not have minded working with Dave otherwise. Alli turned to Clare, who leaned her head to the side and gave a small shrug to silently tell her that it was Alli's decision. She gave her friend an apologetic smile before turning back to Dave.

"Sure," she agreed.

As Alli moved to her seat so she was able to face Dave from across his table, Clare tried her best not to feel disappointed. She and Alli were usually partners for assignments and she thought that this would not be an exception; silently annoyed that Dave had claimed her best friend before she did, Clare looked over her shoulder to see K.C, who happened to be looking right back at her.

"Working with anyone?" she asked him.

"Nope," he answered. "Looks like it's you and me for this one."

"I guess so," she shrugged before moving her chair so she was sitting across from him.

Mr. Betenkamp handed them the requirements this assignment had to include and K.C's eyes widened.

"Five pages!" he observed.

"Double spaced," she pointed out, hoping it would bring ease to his mind.

She and K.C read over the rest of the paper and began figuring out how to conquer it. In Clare's mind, it would not be that difficult; once they did all the necessary research, the rest should have been a cakewalk.

"We'll be able to get this done in no time," she proclaimed after the two of them decided what their essay would be about. "We just have to buckle down and get it done."

"Want to come to my apartment after school tomorrow and work on this?" he asked.

"Sure," she assented, not seeing the harm in it since they were simply two friends working on a project. "I just have to leave before five thirty so I can be at work on time."

"Got it," he noted, seeing this as the beginning of a wonderful partnership.

()()

It was now six o'clock and Clare was finishing up a table at the Dot. There were only five tables that had customers today since a lot of people were probably at a football game that was going on at this moment. She was moving as quickly as possible, hoping that she would be able to trick time and make it go faster by speeding up the world around her. She wanted it to be Friday afternoon, but that seemed to be too far away thus she simply settled for the end of her shift so she would be able to Skype with Eli. It may not have been as good as speaking to him in person, but it would suffice for the next couple of days. Continuing with her plan to quicken the seconds, she moved over to a recently abandoned table and began to retrieve the dishes before cleaning the top of the surface.

"Hey, Clare," Peter called her from the other side of the counter. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off?"

"Why?" she asked, looking over her shoulder while she wiped the table clean.

"No reason," he shrugged. "You haven't had a day off in weeks, so why don't you go?"

"Uh . . ." she began to contemplate, keeping in mind all the free time this would leave her.

"Come on," he encouraged. "It's not like we're busy or anything. It's a nice day; go and enjoy it."

Clare stood there, considering the opportunity in front of her. She, honestly, did not have anything to lose by taking this day off; and Peter was telling her that she could, so it would not be like she would be skipping work for the day. This would give her the chance to get her homework done before nightfall, she would be able to finish the review for _Julius Caesar_ that she started a few days ago, and she might have more time to talk to Eli on Skype if she had all her homework done by the time he was off work.

"Thanks, Peter," she called to him as she punched out for the day.

"No problem," he replied as Clare went towards the back to retrieve her belongings. Relieved that she did not have to work anymore, she pulled out her cell phone as she gathered her jacket and purse. Hoping that Eli was not at work or was at least on a break so they could schedule a possible Skype chat later, she dialed his number through speed dial.

"Hey, beautiful," he greeted.

"Hey," she replied. "What you up to?"

"Oh, just standing around, daydreaming, nothing new," he said. "What are you up to?"

"Peter just gave me the rest of the day off," she explained as she pulled on her jacket and began making her way towards the exit.

"That's unexpected. Why?"

"He said that I haven't had a day off in a while, so he thought I should take one."

"In that case, be happy that you don't have to work tonight."

"Yeah, and that leaves me with more free time. Do you want to Skype in say . . . ten minutes?"

"Oh . . . um . . . I would, but I'll be kind of busy in ten minutes."

"You're working?" she guessed, feeling crestfallen as she began made her way out of the Dot.

"No, it's actually something a bit more important," he answered.

"Homework?"

"_Way_ bigger than that."

"Okay," Clare accepting, clearing her throat to cover up the disappointment that was evident in her tone. "Well, can we Skype when you're done?"

"I would, but . . . I'm not going to be in my dorm for a while," he told her.

"Why?" she said as she began taking her usual route down the sidewalk. She heard Eli take a deep breath, which instantly turned her sadness into worry.

"I have to tell you something, but please don't be mad."

"Um . . . what is it?" she asked, really apprehensive to learn what he would say. After he inhaled and exhaled again, she finally received her answer.

"I'm not going to be able to come down Friday."

Clare slowed down and eventually stopped in her tracks; she leaned against a close by telephone pole just so she could use it as a support. Her legs were trembling from the shock and it was too much for her body to consume at once; she received a big blow to the heart and she felt tears hit her eyes.

"Y-You're not," she choked out, her heart breaking at the thought.

"I'm sorry."

Clare did not want to believe this; she had not seen Eli in a month and a half and she desperately wanted to spend time with him. Hearing that she would have to wait longer to kiss him, hold him, or merely be in his company made her cold on the inside and she felt as though she would have collapsed to the ground by now if it was not for the telephone pole she was leaning on.

"W-Why?" she asked, trying to save the tears until she got off the phone.

"I'm doing something really important for the next few days."

Clare rolled her lips, curious and hurt that what he was doing was more important than him visiting Toronto . . . more important than visiting her.

"Clare? Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, yeah I'm fine," she lied. "Um . . . what is it that you're going to be doing?"

She heard Eli laugh on the other end and was instantly confused.

"What's so funny?" she asked, not seeing the humor in this situation. Devastated and now annoyed, she felt a tear trickle out of her eye and down her cheek.

"You haven't figured it out yet, have you?"

"Figured what out?"

"You know, I like this view and everything, but I'd rather see your pretty face."

Clare wiped away her tears, her heart skipping a beat.

"What are you talking about?"

She heard Eli chuckle again before he spoke three words that would make her heart soar:

"Turn around, Edwards."

She was dreaming . . . she had to be . . .

But when she turned around one hundred eighty degrees, her heart started pounding, tears struck her eyes, and a smile came to her face. Leaning against the front fender of a recognizable hearse was her boyfriend, his phone against his ear and a smile on his face. Without a second thought, Clare hung up her phone and began sprinting down the sidewalk as fast as her legs could carry her. Within seconds, she and Eli were standing on the sidewalk and she was throwing herself into his arms. She locked her arms behind his neck and buried her head in his shoulder while he wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled on her neck.

For the first time in six weeks, she was able to feel Eli's warmth, smell his scent, and feel his arms around her. Disbelieved in the most amazing way possible, a couple of tears leaked out of her eyes and caressed her cheeks before falling into the material of his jacket.

"Please tell me that this is real," she begged.

"It is," he told her, moving his head until he was able to meet her eyes. As her blue eyes met his green ones, they both smiled and kept holding on to each other. Not being able to retain herself anymore, Clare smashed her lips to Eli's, feeling on top of the world for the first time since he left that Friday morning many weeks ago. They were soon kissing passionately, making up for the lost time. Her lips fondled his and did not dare to release them until she had become fully reacquainted with the feeling a moment like this gave her. His tongue swept her mouth and she held him tighter so not even air could pass through them. Her heart was racing, butterflies were fluttering wildly in her stomach, and she would have been floating away if she was not holding on to Eli. She kept her lips against his for as long as possible until they both needed to separate and look at each other. Still marveled that he was there, Clare gently put her fingertips on his cheek to feel his skin.

"S-So . . . you were just psyching me out, weren't you?"

"And it worked," he smirked.

"You scared me," she confessed. "I really thought you weren't coming."

"I said I wasn't coming _Friday_," Eli made clear. "I never said that I wouldn't come home."

"But then you said –."

"That I'm doing something important over the next few days?" he recited. "I am . . . being at home."

She felt a couple more tears of joy come down her face as she moved her hand from his cheek to the back of his head so her fingers were gently combing his hair.

"How were you able to come back today?"

"I stayed on top of my work, so I basically have three free days and I decided to come down a couple of days early."

"What about your job?"

"My boss said I could have a few days off since I've been working for two extra hours over the past few Saturdays."

She was stunned that he was here and that he had all this free time; in her eyes, it was nothing short of a miracle. More tears then fell down Clare's face, her emotions finally getting to her. She held on to Eli as she looked at the ground; she did not want him to see any more of her tears when he had not been home too long, but she could not keep them inside. A sob escaped her lips, but it was not a sob of sadness; it was a sob caused by being too overwhelmed by the beauty of the situation. She felt Eli's arms leave her body before his hands cupped her face and coaxed her head up until she was looking at him.

"It's okay," he told her, clearing her tears with his thumbs.

"I-I just haven't been this happy in a long time," she confessed to him. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too."

This time Eli was the one to initiate the kiss. Needing to experience this again, Clare fell to the power of his lips and kissed him back with all the passion, love, and desire within her to show just how overjoyed she was that he was finally home and that they would be able to be together again.

"Welcome home," she whispered breathlessly when his lips left hers again.

Eli grinned at her again before placing a delicate kiss on her forehead before meeting her eyes.

"Want to go to our special place?"

She nodded, savoring the flavor of her future husband on her tongue.

"Then come with me, my lady," he said before putting a single arm around her waist and leading her towards the passenger side of the hearse. He opened her door for her and they were both slightly disappointed when his arm left her body. He rushed over to his side of the hearse as quickly as possible and was soon climbing in to see Clare smiling as she leaned against her seat.

"I've missed Morty."

"Morty missed you."

She continued to smile as Eli started the car and began driving down the street. For the first time in weeks as she looked out the windows, Clare appreciated the beauty of the city she lived. By the time they arrived at the abandoned church, Eli had explained to her that he had called Peter in advance to ask if she could have the day off so he could spend time with her once he got there.

"You had it all planned out," she concluded, impressed by how much thought and planning Eli put in to this surprise.

"I really wanted to tell you, but then it would not have had the same effect."

"So you decided to scare me to death?"

"It had to be done," he said dramatically as they reached their destination; Clare playfully rolled her eyes at his comment, still trying to get over the shock she was in.

He stopped the car and they climbed out, both of them grinning the whole time. He walked around the front of the car and extended his hand to Clare, who took it with a smile. The second her palm was touching his, he pulled her towards him and strongly kissed her lips. Her heart on fire, she reciprocated this kiss and did not bother trying to keep it chaste since she had been absent of his lips for weeks. His lips were the warmth she yearned for and he satisfied her hunger after all these days. She hoped that her kisses were also giving him some special feeling that no one had been able to give him since he left.

"_So _much better than my memories," he breathed once he released her lips.

"Tell me about it," she said as they began to walk hand-in-hand.

He took in the scenery of the church; although there was not a complete contrast between what his eyes were seeing and his memory, it was definitely different. The leaves were beginning to change and the late summer sun was raining through the branches instead of the bright yellow one he had seen there throughout the summer.

"Do you still come here?" he asked her as they walked towards a tree.

"Yeah," she answered. "I usually come here before work to have some quiet time; and I come here on the weekends sometimes just to think."

"About what?" he asked.

"Nothing and everything," she shrugged. "I think about my family . . . friends . . . school . . . you."

"Oh really?" he smirked.

"Yes, really," she retorted playfully. "This is our place, so it's kind of hard not to think of you."

They went under the tree and sat down. Clare rested between his legs as he held her waist snugly in his arms; she gazed at him the entire time and he smirked at her.

"What?" he chuckled.

"I can't believe you came down early."

"Why wouldn't I? I promised you that I would come back to see you whenever I could; I wasn't going to wait another two days when I could spend them with you."

She smiled, flattered that Eli would actually come back so soon just to come visit her.

"You're so sweet."

"Well, I was missing you like crazy; I think I was starting to go through Clare withdrawals."

"Clare withdrawals?" she repeated.

"Yeah," he said. "I've never gone this long without seeing you since we met and it just wasn't the same; it didn't feel right. I think I would've lost my mind if I spent one more day away from you."

Clare knew exactly how he felt with that; she found it astounding that she was actually able to be away from Eli this long and not have some sort of breakdown because of it. There may have been the moments of longing and sadness, but she was sure that she would have been utterly devastated if she had to be away from him for too much longer. It was a relief to know that she was not the only one in their relationship who had these same emotions.

"And how are you feeling now?" she asked.

"I think I'm cured," he said flirtatiously.

"I'm glad," she grinned before she laid her head on his chest and let out a soft sigh of contentment. "What's Ottawa like?"

"I've told you. Remember the constant phone calls, texts, and chats on Skype?" he reminded her in a light tone.

"How can I forget?" she replied before closing her eyes. "I just really want to hear you speak without looking at a computer screen or over a phone. Please?"

He grinned and kissed her scalp before complying.

"It's a really big campus, I have a few friends other than Cathy and my roommate, my schedule isn't too insane, and my job is going well so I'm enjoying it overall."

"That's good," she commented.

"But there are a few drawbacks about being there."

"Oh yeah?" she responded.

He held her tighter in his arms before beginning his list.

"One, my best friend is at a different university than me. Two, I miss my parents and home. Three, the people at my job aren't as cool as the people at the Dot. Four, I don't get as much free time to write. And last but definitely not least . . ."

He trailed off as he leaned his lips towards her to surprise her with a kiss. She immediately molded her lips to his and cherished the feeling that moments like these had always given her.

"I've missed these moments with my girl," he finished when he rested his head against hers once they were done with the kiss.

"I'm still your girl, hu?" she smiled after opening her eyes.

"You'll always be my girl," he whispered, repeating one of the many phrases he told her before he left.

Clare kept the smile on her face and blushed as she rubbed her hand against Eli's stomach.

"You haven't changed much at all, have you?"

"I've only gotten sexier," he stated cockily, causing Clare to chuckle.

"Yep, still my Eli."

He curved up a corner of his mouth for a few seconds before his lips made contact with her forehead.

"I've missed you _so_ much, Clare," he said as he met her eyes again.

"I missed you too. But whenever I'm not at school or at work, I'm all yours," she informed him with a smile.

"Really?" he grinned, loving the sound of that plan.

"Mm-hmm," she hummed.

"So it can be just you and me whenever my parents are at the station?"

"If you want it to be."

"Do you want it to be?"

"What do you think?" she challenged.

Although he knew it was a rhetorical question, Eli was going to answer anyway.

"I think . . . I'm going to spend most of the weekend with my Piglet."

Clare blushed, not being able to remember the last time he called her that.

"I like the sound of that, Fluffy."

He held back his laughter, not knowing if he would ever get used to hearing that name from her but decided to accept it nonetheless.

"Does that mean that I can give you a ride to school tomorrow?"

"You may," she consented.

"And a ride home?" he asked.

"Definitely," she said. "And maybe Friday as well?"

"You got it."

"Can you also stay around at the Dot tomorrow while I work?"

"Last time I did that, you said I was being clingy," he reminded her, recalling the time months ago before she gave him back her promise ring.

Clare grinned at him and toyed with his fingers.

"I haven't seen you in two months; you have the right to be clingy this weekend."

Eli smiled at her, pleased that was giving him permission to do this.

"I'll try not to overdo it."

Clare smiled, seeing that as impossible since they had such a limited amount of time together.

"If anything, it'll be _me _trying not to overdo it."

"You missed me that much, hu?"

"I did," she nodded.

Under regular circumstances, Eli would have felt genuinely guilty about putting Clare through that; but right now he was just content to be holding her in his arms and treasuring just how flawless this day had become. He traveled his hand over her side, pleased that he was becoming reacquainted with the feel of her curves.

"Eli."

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you came down here early."

"So am I, sweetheart."

Smiling, Clare nestled her head back on his chest and closed her eyes.

"I love it when you call me that."

He then leaned down and slowly kissed her neck; Clare moaned and sighed pleasantly as his soft lips cared for her. It was so great for both of them to experience this again; she had not felt him work wonders on her skin in so long and she had almost forgotten how magical it was.

"Have I ever told you that you have an _extremely_ beautiful neck?" he asked against her skin.

She giggled coyly as he continued fondling her body. He felt her skin turn warm because of his words, so he knew she was blushing.

"This is . . . perfect," she sighed.

"It is," he said as he slowly removed his lips from her flesh. "So what shall we do while I'm here?"

"You mean other than this?" she clarified before kissing his lips. He smiled into the kiss and he felt Clare do the same, causing them to break apart but still show joy.

"I was thinking that I could take you out on a real date," he explained. "I promised you we could have a special night out here the night before I left, remember?"

Clare grinned, recalling the romantic memories of that night.

"Can we snuggle by a campfire and share marshmallows again?" she asked hopefully. "Maybe even look at the sky together?"

"We can," he answered. "And, if you want and if your mom is okay with it, you can spend the night with me."

"I'm onboard for that."

"Is Friday night doable?"

"Absolutely," she answered. "I've missed our sleepovers."

"I've missed your kiss," he admitted to her.

"Well then, Mr. Goldsworthy, I guess I'll have to remedy that for you," she said with a playful grin before attaching her lips to his.

"Thank you. I really needed that," Eli said once the moment was over.

"Need more?" she offered.

"Oh, please."

She attached her lips to his and kissed him passionately.

"You realize this has been the longest time we've gone without kissing each other since we got together," she stated once she pulled away.

"I know. Remember when we didn't kiss for two weeks at one point because of Kate?"

"Yeah," Clare nodded. "And again when we had our little hiccup after you first asked me to marry you?"

"That was torture," he recalled.

"On the bright side, this isn't a makeup; this is a reunion."

"Thankfully," he replied. "And no more makeups like those _ever _again, right?"

"Never ever," she agreed.

The two of them relaxed against the tree for another hour, only silent to exchange kisses or smiles. It seemed that they had a lot of unspoken words between them although they frequently contacted each other. He told her more about Cathy and Josh while she told him a few more of the wedding plans Alyson and her dad had been formulating. They also talked about their relationship and how appeased they were that they were together again. By the time seven thirty came around, Eli began to wonder if it would soon be time to drive Clare back to her house and not see her again until morning.

"When do you I have to take you home?" he asked her.

"Trying to get away from me?" she joked with him.

"After not seeing you for nearly two months?" he remarked. "I wouldn't even dream of it."

"Then . . . do you want to come to my house for dinner?" she invited. "Or are your parents doing something since it's your first day back home?"

"They're doing something tonight, so I'm free. I'll come if your mom doesn't have a problem with it."

"Well, she knows how glum I've been since you left so I don't think she'll have a problem with you coming."

"Then I'd love to," he said to her, a grin gracing his lips. Mirroring his smile, Clare stood on her feet and Eli followed suit; he put his arm around her shoulders while she looped her arm around his waist as they walked towards Morty.

()()

"Hi, Mom," she said as she and Eli stepped into the kitchen minutes later. Helen was checking something in the oven, so she did not notice the company Clare had brought with her.

"Hey, honey," she replied. "You're home early."

"Peter gave me most of the day off," Clare elucidated. "Um, is it okay if Eli stays for dinner?"

"Eli?" Helen said, closing the oven and straightening up.

"Yep," Eli said. Helen turned and saw Eli standing there holding Clare's hand. Surprised yet delighted to see him, her face broke out into a wide smile and it was not long until she was giving her future son-in-law a hug.

"It's great to see you," Helen said.

"You too," he replied.

She released him with a grin on her face; she may not have been extremely close to Eli, but it was nice to see his face after not seeing it for one and a half months.

"I thought we wouldn't be seeing you until Friday."

"I really don't have class for the rest of the week, so I figured that I'd come down a couple of days early and surprise everyone," he explained.

"Can he stay, Mom?" Clare restated, hoping that there would be enough for him; Helen usually made enough food for the two of them since Clare usually did not get home until nine fifteen and had to heat up whatever her mother did not have for dinner.

"What about your parents?" Helen asked Eli.

"They're doing something; I kind of surprised them too and they couldn't get out of it last minute."

"Well, in that case, you're more than welcome to stay. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

"Thank you."

"Sweetie, would you mind setting the table real quick?" Helen then asked of Clare before she turned back to the oven.

"I'm on it," she answered, glad that she was going to be putting down an extra plate.

Eli followed Clare out of the kitchen once she gathered all the utensils and dishes. She smiled at him when she noticed that he was with her and it grew wider when she felt his arms around her waist.

"Need a hand?" he offered.

"I got it, thanks. Besides, it's rude to let guest of honor do any work."

"Ooh, of honor. I feel special."

She chuckled lightly as she continued to place everything on top of the table. She put down the rest of the plates and silverware before turning around in Eli's arms and giving him the biggest hug she could with all the strength she had in her.

"I still can't believe you're here," she said once she leaned back slightly to look at him.

"Believe it," he advised before pecking her lips.

Within a matter of minutes, the three of them were sitting at the table and were beginning to eat the chicken parmesan, garlic bread, and salad that Helen had prepared. Clare and Eli exchanged glances with each other whenever they could, not wasting any opportunity to share flirtatious grins.

"How do you like university, Eli?" Helen asked him at one point.

"It's great," he answered. "It took some adjusting, but I eventually got into the swing of things."

"And your classes are going well?"

"For the most part," he replied. "Learning to manage my time is a bit tough though."

"That's one of the hardest parts of the college years."

"Does it get easier as time goes on?"

Helen sat there, hummed for a second, and then turned back to Eli.

"I'm not sure about _easier_, but you get used to it to a certain extent. I remember that most of my stress in university happened because I had too much going on at once."

"That's why I'm trying not to take on too much; thankfully the job I have allows me to be a bit flexible with my hours."

"That's always a good thing," Helen commended.

Clare sat there and grinned, pleased at how well Eli and her mother were getting along. It had been a while since the two of them actually had a conversation like this one and watching them act like more than just acquaintances made her believe more than before that she had found the right person to spend the rest of her life with.

By the end of the dinner, Helen had agreed to let Clare stay over at Eli's on Friday night. She still trusted Eli and she was beyond confident that he would not do anything to hurt her daughter in anyway. From what she saw at this meal, Eli had only grown as a person and did not evolve into someone she despised, which was a great relief to her.

Unfortunately, dinner did not last forever and Eli knew that he would need to get home soon. It was disheartening to Clare, but she felt at peace when she remembered that she would not be waiting endless weeks to see him again.

"Thank you for dinner, Mrs. Edwards," he bade her as he stood from his chair.

"Anytime, Eli," she told him.

"I'll walk you out," Clare volunteered, also rising from her seat.

Clare's hand was soon in Eli's and they exited the house with small smiles tugging at their lips. They both walked as slow as possible to Morty, not wanting to part until they were out of reasons to delay. Once they got to the hearse, they were both determined to prolong their goodbye by being speaking about anything they could think of. Her hands were softly grasping the collar of his jacket while his hands held her hips.

"I really have half a mind to skip school tomorrow and stay with you all day."

"But what if your mom finds out?"

Clare huffed in defeat, aware that her mother would punish her if that occurred and she did not want to risk getting grounded this weekend.

"I hate it when you're right sometimes."

"Then how about we go out tomorrow after school before you go to work?" he suggested.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Hmm . . . you, me, Morty, some mixed CDs, and our special place," he described.

"Sounds wonderful," she said, already able to feel the serenity that always came to her whenever they did that over the summer. "And you still don't mind getting up early to drive me to school?"

"For you, I'd do it every day."

Clare grinned as a single hand slid from his collar to his chest before reaching a vial of blood that was dangling from a necklace. She carefully slid her hand under it until she was cradling it in her palm.

"You still have it."

"I hardly go anywhere without it," he informed her as he slid some hair behind her ear and then sliding his fingertips down her skin until the pads of his fingers were stroking the crook of her neck. "And I see you're still wearing my necklace."

"I only take it off when I have to."

She gazed at him, grateful beyond words that she was able to feel like she was in a proper relationship again, even if it was for four more days.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Yes, you will," he said with a lopsided grin.

"I love you," they said in unison. They chuckled at their moment before kissing each other's lips, wishing for the night to pass quickly just so they would be able to do this again.

"See you tomorrow morning," he smiled at her.

"Goodnight," she breathed.

"Goodnight," he echoed before reluctantly letting go of her body.

He traveled to the other side of Morty and gave his girlfriend a final smile before climbing inside. Clare stood in front of her house and watched the hearse drive off the street, keeping her smile on her face just as it has been the second she discovered that Eli had come home. Many weeks before, she stood here crying because her boyfriend was leaving; now she knew that she would see him in less than twelve hours and it made her feel complete for the first time in a month and a half. She turned and went back to the house, planning on getting to bed as soon as possible so the morning would come faster.

* * *

"_Kiss me on the sidewalk_

_Take away the pain_

'_Cause I see sparks fly_

_Whenever you smile"_

_~"Sparks Fly" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

Who's happy? Let me know! Reviews please!


	119. Decode

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for your reviews. I'm glad you are all still enjoying this. It makes me smile to know that there are people still reading even though this fic has been up for over a year and a half and now that it's close to one hundred twenty chapters. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . I'm TurboWiz70 and I approve this message.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Nineteen

Decode

Clare was expecting to be woken up by her alarm the following morning, but instead she opened her eyes subconsciously five minutes before it sounded. A smile was on her face as she sat up and stretched her arms, thanking God that Eli was back home and would be taking her to school that morning. She went through her usual routine of taking a shower and getting ready, but took time deciding on what she would wear and how she wanted her makeup to look. She knew that Eli would not be seeing her for most of the day and that she would have to change into her work uniform a couple of hours after school, so it maybe it was a bit ridiculous that she was making such an effort, but she really wanted to do this. Although Eli would see her as beautiful no matter what, she wanted to look really nice for him and she was not sure if she could do that unless she approved of herself first.

Once she was out of the shower and standing in her room with her robe around her, she hastily began searching for something alluring yet innocent so she would be comfortable and not seem like she was attempting to draw attention at school when all she wanted was make her boyfriend smile. She went through her closet, finding as many options as she could before trying decide how to fix her hair or how she should do her makeup.

After half an hour of making and unmaking many decisions, Clare had finally figured out what to do and got herself ready. Even though the students were allowed to make their own clothing decisions at Degrassi again, she hardly wore anything outside of her comfort zone; but today was going to be different. She was wearing a black skirt that went down to her knees in company with a white blouse tucked into it. She took a bolder move that day and decided not to wear tights to allow more leg exposure. She curled her hair to make it fuller, applied some purple eye shadow, a bit more eyeliner than she usually would have, and some light pink lip-gloss, and slid on her usual flats. Once she was satisfied with her overall appearance, she put on Eli's guitar pick necklace and slid a few bangles onto her wrists before gathering her belongings and leaving her room.

The next few moments of her eating breakfast, talking to Helen, brushing her teeth, and making last second cosmetic adjustments were never-ending. Every minute seemed to last twenty and she did not want anything more than to break the curse of waiting. When Eli actually lived here, time went by at a usual pace and it did not appear that she had to wait very long for him to get to her house. Today was completely different and she found herself unable to occupy her mind long enough for time to actually have a chance to pass.

Her mind was soon put to ease when she looked out the window and saw Morty pull up to the front of her house. Seconds later, she saw Eli climb out of it. Ecstatic to see him again, she said goodbye to Helen, grabbed her books and bag, and all but ran out the door. She smiled when she saw him coming her way and tried to slow her pace as she began to meet him halfway.

"Good morning," he greeted her.

"Good morning," she replied with a smile as she walked towards him.

The second they were close enough, Eli put an arm around her waist and planted a kiss on her lips while his free hand cupped her upper arm. Clare relished his kiss, thrilled that they were exchanging this embrace. Once they were both satisfied, Eli gently pulled away and they met eyes.

"You look beautiful."

Clare blushed, but she could not deny that she felt accomplished.

"Thanks," she said modestly.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah," she answered. He then stood to her side while keeping his arm around her waist. She grinned at his hold, feeling secure and warm as they walked to his car.

"Allow me," he told her as he opened her door for her.

"Thank you," she said before sliding into the hearse.

Within seconds, Eli was climbing in the other side and they began driving down the road with the radio playing in the background.

"Just like old times, eh?" Eli mentioned. "I'm driving you to school and we'll be spending time together afterwards; it takes me back."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I miss those days."

"Me too," he acceded. Once they were on a consistently straight part of the road, he released one of his holds from the steering wheel and began holding Clare's hand.

Since they have not had the privilege of holding hands for some time, Clare kept smiling when their palms touched. It was such a sensation that she had taken for granted when he was here. She did not expect to miss holding his hand this much, but she knew it would definitely be one of the actions she would miss when he went back.

But she did not think of this right now; all she focused on was his rough yet soft hand. When he eventually had to take complete control of the wheel again, she was slightly crestfallen at the loss.

"Do you still want to hang out today before you have to go to work?" he asked her.

"If you want to," she said, praying that he had not changed his mind.

"You know I do," he told her with his classic smile. She grinned, wanting this day to go by in a flash. She was disheartened when they arrived at the school; she did not want to leave Eli's side and not spend all day with him, but she did not have a choice. Due to this, she was disappointed to see Degrassi through the windshield. Eli pulled Morty up to the front of the school and parked when they were at the front of the stairs.

"Here we are," he announced, stating the obvious before turning to Clare and seeing her slightly saddened face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, unbuckling her seatbelt. "I just . . . I'm going to miss you."

Eli could not help but let out a couple of chuckles before taking her hand again.

"After not seeing each other for six weeks, I think we might be able to survive a few more hours."

"_Might_ being the operative word."

He grinned, giving her hand a gentle squeeze before stroking her skin with his thumb.

"I'll pick you up at three."

"Sounds good," she smiled. She leaned over until she was able put her hand on the nape of his neck; they met each other's lips and allowed them to mold together. Clare felt his hand meet her upper arm, his thumb gently caressing her shoulder. She kissed him sweetly and he reciprocated until he felt her release his lips. If was not for school, she would have kept kissing him; but she had to get in to the building to go by her locker and get some studying done in case she had a pop quiz today.

"I love you," she told him, meeting his eye.

"I love you too," he echoed before giving her a final peck on the lips. "I'll see you soon."

Making her greatest effort to not lose eye contact with him, Clare gathered her bag and books before getting out of the hearse. She closed the door behind her and Eli kept gazing at her as she walked farther and farther away from him. Once she was halfway up the stairs, she looked over her shoulder and gave him a wave and she saw him grinning at her before she disappeared into the Degrassi halls. As she moved, she could not resist and looked over her shoulder to see if his car was still there. She felt a bit more alone when she saw that Morty had left, but now she was hoping for the day to go by as fast as possible so she would spend time with Eli this afternoon.

After making the usual stop by her locker, Clare began journeying down the hall with an extra spring in her step. She saw Alli and K.C coming out the library a couple of yards away; she went to approach her friends, excited that she would be able to tell them the great news.

"Hi, Alli. Hi, K.C," she smiled. "Nice day, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess so," K.C shrugged. His tone was drained and his eyes were screaming in frustration; his usual grin was not on his face that morning, which was an instant cause of concern to anyone who was friends with him. Clare honestly wanted to feel concern for him but her mind was too absorbed with pleasant thoughts. Trying to keep her head out of the clouds long enough, she faced K.C and gave him the most comforting stare she could muster.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he said. "I just got some stuff on my mind."

"Want to talk about it?" she offered in an attempt to show kindness.

"I'm fine," he disregarded as they all sat on one of the benches along the wall. Not wanting to bring anyone down with his glum mood, he put the best smile he could on his face. "And why are you so cheerful this morning?"

"Did you have a nice chat with Eli before school?" Alli speculated.

"Something like that," Clare smiled.

"Still excited about him coming home tomorrow?"

"Actually, I won't have to wait that long," Clare informed.

"What do you mean?"

"He came back yesterday!"

Alli's jaw dropped while she smiled, not being able to imagine how happy Clare was right now.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes! He surprised me when I got off work, he came over for dinner last night, he drove me to school this morning, and . . ." She trialed off, too many positive emotions going through her head to put them into words. "I'm just so happy."

"I can tell," Alli said, pleased that Clare was experiencing this kind of joy again. "You're going to be nothing but smiles all day now, aren't you?"

"Probably," Clare admitted, a smile and a blush coming to her face. She began to recall the time they spent together yesterday and that morning, and she had now began to daydream about the afternoon they would have later.

"Are you guys going to do anything special while he's here?"

"Just spend time together, go on a date or two, spend a couple of nights at his house, and all that good stuff. We're actually going to hang out after school today and go out for real tomorrow, and then maybe spend the weekend together."

"Wait," K.C interjected, becoming involved in the conversation for the first time since Clare mentioned her news. "You guys are hanging out after school?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"I thought you were coming over to my place this afternoon."

"Huh?" she remarked, not expecting that response.

"Yesterday we made plans for you to come over so we could work on the essay."

Clare gaped, instantly feeling guilty for forgetting all about their assignment and the plans they made to start it. She believed that she had a valid reason for forgetting, but that did not ease her and she felt worse by knowing that she would have to cancel on one of the boys . . . and it certainly was not going to be her boyfriend.

"I'm so sorry, K.C," she said. "I completely forgot."

"Clearly," he muttered under his breath.

Feeling significantly guilty, Clare attempted to push Eli to the back of her brain until so she would be able to focus on the issue in front of her.

"Is there any chance of you postponing on him for a couple of hours?" he suggested.

Clare attempted to choose her words carefully so she would not hurt his feelings, but at the same time tell him how important her time with Eli was to her. Although he had agreed that he would stay at the Dot while she worked, it was not the same as spending quality time with him; and the idea of losing out on a fair amount of time with him because she had to do homework with K.C was uninviting.

"I'm sorry," she restated, truly feeling guilt-ridden.

Let down yet unsurprised, K.C turned away from Clare and let out a heavy exhale through his nose. Seeing his face made her feel a thousand times worse and she instantly wished there was a way for her to be in two places at once.

"K.C, I am really, _really _sorry. I promise that when I get home after work tonight, I'll start gathering research and I'll start writing the essay; and after this weekend, I'll come over every day until we finish it."

The emotions in K.C's eyes turned from disappointed to resentful in half a second. It startled Clare, for she had not seen his temper in some time and she did not have many ideas on what to expect. She tried to remain rational and hope that K.C would be alright with this arrangement. When he opened his mouth to speak, she was hopeful to hear words of comprehension; but the tone she was expecting did not match with his facial expressions and it was then when she knew that this conversation was about to take a wrong turn.

"Just forgot it," he snapped. "I'll handle it by myself."

"I'll help you with it after Eli goes back to Ottawa, okay? I promise."

K.C snorted and shook his head, dissatisfied and aggravated by this turn of events.

"Will it kill you if you just don't hang out with him _today_?"

"I can't cancel on him last minute."

"You're cancelling on me!"

"I'm sorry, but he's only in town for three more days after today; I'm going to take advantage of every chance I get to spend time with him."

"It's one day," he reminded her. "You're going to have the whole weekend with him after today. I just need your help for a short period of time and then you can go do whatever you want with him."

"It's no big deal if I don't show up for one day."

"You're bailing on your friends because of him!"

"That's not his fault!"

"Did I say that?" he sneered, only blaming Eli's inconvenient timing for a second before pointing the finger at Clare's decisions.

Alli awkwardly sat there between the two of them, not knowing whether or not she should excuse herself or remain there to be the mediator in case this got out of hand. Clare looked at K.C, disbelieved at how unreasonable and harsh he was being. She attempted to keep herself calm, but it was becoming exceedingly difficult.

"I won't bail on you next week. We can finish the essay then."

"This is not about the stupid essay!"

"Then what is this about?" she demanded.

"You're ditching me and you don't care!"

"Oh, come on," she complained, not expecting this kind of reaction from him. She sat in her seat, baffled that K.C was getting so worked up over this situation. "You know how long I've been looking forward to him coming home and how much I've missed him."

"But we made plans."

"It's not like it was a date or anything. Stop overreacting about this."

"Whatever, Clare. Just go be with your boyfriend and I'll figure this whole mess out myself," he said, not wanting to breathe another word on the subject.

Rolling her eyes and fuming, Clare stood up and walked down the hall. Any guilt she had about this scenario had been overridden by her animosity. In her mind, K.C was making something out of nothing and she thought he was being inconsiderate since he knew how much Eli's visit meant to her. In company with her enmity, she felt letdown; for a while she genuinely thought that she and K.C were capable of having a long-lasting friendship without conflict, but she felt that she was about to be proven wrong.

()()

Clare and K.C avoided each other for the rest of the day; they did not make eye contact, speak, or acknowledge each other's presence. It suited Clare perfectly, for she was finally able to get back to the thoughts she had at the beginning of the day. They had been slightly downplayed due to her argument with K.C that morning, but the idea of being with Eli for the remainder of the day kept her annoyance at bay.

Once it was time for school to be dismissed, Clare said goodbye to Alli and hurried to her locker. Knowing that Eli was waiting outside at that very moment, she hastily opened the storage compartment and began exchanging the books she did not need for the ones she did need. As the burdens of the unnecessary textbooks were lifted, she closed the metal door and was about to make a beeline for the exit.

"Clare."

She bit her lips in frustration as she heard that familiar voice. Not wanting to see K.C, she began heading towards the doors in hope that he would not make any efforts to catch up with her. To her dismay, he sprinted after her and stepped in front of her seconds later.

"What do you want?" she asked, annoyed that he was blocking her path.

"I need to speak to you," he said hurriedly after she had stopped in her tracks. "I'm sorry I kind of went off on you. I was just hoping that you would help me with something and . . . when you said that you can't, I freaked out."

Clare was desperate to get to Eli, so she was not planning on spending much of her time talking to K.C. He apologized and it was sincere enough for her in this moment, and so she decided it would be better if she accepted it now and then put their small feud from that morning behind her.

"Thank you," she said, preparing to step around him. Before she could move her foot, however . . .

"Can we talk for two seconds?"

Clare took a deep breath, not wanting to stay in the hall longer than she had to; at the same time, she wanted to extinguish any issues that had been created between her and K.C and she was certain he would not let her leave until he had his say. Seeing that it would be easier to get this over with, she did not argue.

"What's going on?"

"I was hoping that we would have chance to talk," he started, not wanting to waste his or her time.

"We talk all the time."

"But what I want to talk to you about is a bit . . . personal. If we talk about it at school, Alli or someone might interrupt us and I don't want that to happen. I wanted to talk to you about this today at my place so that way you wouldn't have to worry about it when Eli was here; but then you told me that you were hanging out with him today, so I thought I lost my chance to talk to you."

Clare was taken aback at how earnest he was about speaking to her. He rarely had anything serious to talk about with her, but he was so driven in this case that she realized she probably should not have ignored him all day so he would have had a chance to speak to her.

"So you don't have to talk to me about the essay?"

"This has nothing to do with that whatsoever," he answered.

Clare took a breath and hoped that Eli would not grow impatient if she remained in the school a little while longer to help her friend.

"I don't want to keep my ride waiting; you have five minutes."

For a second, K.C looked grateful. The next, he looked petrified and hesitant. He was quiet as he scanned his brain to find the way to approach the subject he had in his mind. His speech only included the words "well", "uh", and "you see" for fifteen seconds with multiple pauses in between. Clare resisted temptation to roll her eyes and stood there and nodded, urging him to say what he had to say. He inhaled and continued, hoping that his nerve would not fail him.

"I need you to talk to Jenna for me."

"What?" she bellowed, her blood boiling at the words that just escaped his lips.

"I know it's not a great thing to ask, but –."

"You think?" she snapped. She may have mended any burnt bridges she had with K.C, but Jenna was a completely different story. The last time the two of them had a conversation was when Clare had a really horrible stomach virus and Jenna had accused her of being pregnant; needless to say, she was not planning on talking to Jenna any time soon.

"Listen," he pressed on. "If I was not completely desperate I would not be asking you. I heard that she's going on a date tomorrow and I want her to give us one last chance before she moves on completely."

"Then why don't you tell her that instead of dragging me into this?"

"I've tried. She won't return my calls, text messages, anything."

"Stop using technology and talk to her face-to-face," she advised, prepared to give every bit of guidance she could just so he would leave her out of his dilemma.

"I did that too. She can't stand the sight of me and gives me the cold shoulder every time I try to talk to her."

"And you really think me talking to her is going to make that any better?"

"She's probably more willing to listen to you at this point than me."

"Why don't you just ask Alli to help you?" she recommended, seeing her as the better candidate for his plan since she did not have anything against Jenna.

"She and Jenna are really close and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize their friendship."

Clare opened her mouth, closed it, and reopened it. To say that she was flabbergasted would not have even scratched the surface of her mind's emotions.

"You want _me_ – your ex-girlfriend – to ask your other ex-girlfriend and the mother of your child if she will give you another chance?" Clare asked, stunned that her life sounded like a soap opera.

"I know that I shouldn't be doing this now that Eli's here, but –."

"You shouldn't be doing this _period_!"

"Look, I've been trying to find a way to talk to her ever since I found this out days ago, but –."

"Wait," she interrupted. "You found out she was going out on a date a few days ago?"

"Yeah," he said, having an unsettling feeling that she was catching on to something he did not want her to discover.

Clare began forming suspicions in her head, wondering if there was one more component to this situation that K.C had intentionally left out.

"So telling me that you wanted to work on the essay was just your way of getting me to your place so you can talk to me about Jenna?"

K.C guiltily turned his eyes down to the floor, which was all the explanation Clare needed. She was appalled that K.C had decided to deceive her after he made such an effort to restore their friendship. Any anger she had felt with him that day had multiplied by the hundreds and she began to hurt because of his impure motives.

Part of her was wishing that this was a bizarre dream that she just needed to wake up from to escape. It was infuriating that she had to deal with this on Eli's first full day back home; any hope she had of them having a peaceful afternoon together had gone out the window because she knew that this would be in the back of her head the entire time.

"No! You don't do these kinds of things to people!"

"I know I'm being a bastard here, but I really need your help."

This was not convincing her; if he wanted her assistance in any way, he was not going to get it, especially when he formulated this plan and lied to her. Furthermore, he could not have honestly expected her to help him with because of the history the two of them and Jenna had.

"You can't expect me to do that for you after what you did to me!"

"Is that what this is about? Because I thought you were over that."

"I am over it! I just don't want to get involved with you and Jenna again in that way!"

"Clare, I love her. Please, just talk to her for me and then I swear I will never ask you to do things like this again and I won't bother you anymore when Eli's here."

Clare stood there as she tried to find the correct way to respond to this. It irritated her greatly that K.C had claimed to love Jenna yet he would not perform every act of the imagination to prove that to her. In her eyes, he was not fighting for her and she believed that one of the main components of love included how much someone would be willing to go through for that one special person. If K.C was asking her to do this instead of taking leaps of faith to speak to Jenna himself, then she was not going to waste her time helping him.

However, she knew that if any of her other guy friends were to ask this favor of her, she more than likely would have accepted or at least given it thought. Since it was K.C she was having this conversation with, it definitely did alter her perspective.

"If you really think I'm going to help your relationship with Jenna . . ." she started before she stepped around him and began moving towards the exit.

"Wait a sec," K.C said, grasping Clare's wrist. He pulled Clare back so they were facing each other and she hastily pulled her wrist from his grip.

"K.C," she said, "Eli's probably waiting for me outside."

"Please," he pleaded. "Won't you just think about it?"

"No!" she riposted. "You hurt me because of her and I am not going to do anything that helps you two!"

K.C pursed his lips and tried not to explode from aggravation. He assumed that Clare would have helped him because they were friends again and she was with Eli, but clearly he could not have been more wrong. Maybe he should have been straightforward with her about this, but he could not believe that she was still holding on to this grudge against him and Jenna's relationship and how it affected her in grade nine. Once he believed that would not shout the next time he opened his mouth, he turned his head to meet Clare's eyes.

"Can you explain something to me? Eli has hurt you many times and you're still with him, but you won't help your friend?"

"Eli didn't want to hurt me! I understand why he ever did and some things were out of his control! And he's always apologized for it and he always cares enough to feel bad about what he did!"

"You think that I didn't feel bad?"

"We weren't even broken up for a day and you went to Jenna! Then you used me!"

"I apologized for that!"

"But you hurt me! I was trying for us to be friends again and you guilt tripped me into giving you answers for –!"

"That was a long time ago, Clare!"

"Those who don't learn their history are doomed to repeat it! And I've learned the hard way that getting involved with you and anything relationship related is a stupid move!"

Without another word, she turned on her heel and stomped down the hall until she was near the doors. Taking a deep breath and composing herself, she used her usual stride to walk out of the school with a smile on her face; she did not want people around her noticing her mood, especially Eli . . . who happened to be leaning against the passenger side door of Morty at the bottom of the stairs. The sight of him brought a small smile to Clare's face, but the animosity that was within her was stirring and it was ill-fated that she had to carry these feelings while Eli was standing there and grinning at her.

"Hello, gorgeous," he greeted her once she was in earshot.

"Hi. Sorry I'm a bit late," she said to him.

"It's no prob–."

Before he could get out the rest of his word, Clare put her arms around his neck and kissed him fully on the lips. Surprised yet very thrilled about the sudden kiss, Eli put his arms around her and reciprocated. He felt something fierce in her kiss that he had rarely seen from her throughout their relationship; it seemed that she was channeling any emotions inside her soul into her lips and they were unleashing everything she had been feeling.

After she was done greeting Eli and had calmed herself down a bit, she set his lips free but did not move in any way besides that. She got a perfect view of his green eyes by being in such close proximity to them and she could not fight the mild healing power they had.

"I love you," she told him after she caught her breath.

"I love you too," he replied, incapable of sensing her negativity since she was masking it so well in this instant.

"Can we get away from here?" she asked of him.

"We can," he consented, opening her door and gesturing for her to climb inside.

()()

Clare felt a sense of peace when they arrived at the abandoned church and began lying on top of Morty's hood while one of their mixed CDs played in the background. Unfortunately, the appeasement only came because she was able to get away from Degrassi with Eli; everything else that happened that day still plagued her and she was infuriated that she had to deal with this when her boyfriend was here. She wanted her mind to be clear of it all and cherish the limited time she had with Eli instead of dwelling on what had occurred less than twenty minutes ago. To her sheer aggravation, the more she tried not to think about it, the more it haunted her.

"Babe? Are you okay?" Eli asked, noticing how distant she seemed to be in comparison to that morning.

"Yeah," Clare said. She was going to have to be careful to not mention K.C like she planned, but she was unsure how much longer she would be able to keep her anger bottled up. If it was not for this being his second day back in Toronto, she probably would have confessed everything to him and hope that the negativity would stop lingering over her or that he would help her cope with her annoyance, but she did not want to make this day any worse. "It's just been a long day."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he offered, scooting closer to her.

"It's nothing," she declined as turned on her side, put her arm around his torso, and moved closer to him. "It's just stuff going on at school."

He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer until she was able to rest her head on his chest.

"Degrassi hasn't lost its attraction for drama then?" he presumed.

"Not even a little," she answered.

Clare exhaled through her nostrils, wondering if this was karma. She had been keeping her friendship with K.C a secret from Eli, thus it was when he came to visit that the two of them would get into a fight. In that instant, Clare knew that it was more than just this argument with K.C that made her emotions rage inside her; it was the guilt she had of not being honest with Eli from the start. She had dug a hole and it got deeper and deeper every time she avoided telling him the truth.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk?" he ensured. "Or at least vent?"

If this were an ordinary situation like an issue with grades or Alyson, Clare would have accepted that invitation in a heartbeat and spilled her heart to him until she felt better. She could not speak to him about K.C without him realizing that she had been keeping their friendship a secret and that could potentially lead to fight. If she had to choose between getting into a dispute with Eli about this during his first visit back home and wrestling with her feelings, then she was going to take the latter and not tell him about the person who was making her feel so enraged; instead, she decided to just reveal the smaller, nonspecific details of her unpleasant day.

"I just woke up this morning in is this really good mood for the first time in a long time because you came home and I just wanted it to last. But today things got . . . complicated and stressful and it's a lot to handle on top of AP English and all these essays."

Eli wrapped his other arm around her and kept her close to him, understanding how she felt. He and stress were close friends these days, for it seemed that it had to follow him wherever he went and refused to let go. Hearing that his girlfriend had a similar shadow stalking her unleashed the empathy within him.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Eventually," she answered. "I just want to forget about it."

"If you're interested, I have a few of ways to help with that," he proposed. The gentle yet mildly suggestive tone in his voice grabbed her attention and she turned her head to him.

"I'm listening."

He gave her a lopsided smile at her enthusiasm before taking her right hand off his body and cradling it.

"One," he began, stroking her index finger with his thumb, "I need you to close your eyes and not open them until I tell you to."

Clare obeyed, not quite sure what to expect although she was not planning on making a protest.

"Two," he continued, moving his thumb to her middle finger. He then kissed her, slipping his tongue into the mix by allowing it to gently caress her lip. The kiss was sweet, but there was enough sensuality in it to cause Clare's toes to curl. When Eli slowly pulled away, she was grinning again and it took all her willpower to not open her eyes and look at him.

"Is there a number three?" she breathed, almost forgetting why she was so angry since she was curious as to what Eli could do while she was sat there without the sense of sight.

"That depends if you trust me or not," he informed her.

"I trust you."

After making sure that she was not looking, Eli released her hand and put his arm around her waist. Hoping that his idea would help her, he lied back down and guided Clare until her body was on top of his and her head was resting on his sternum.

"Comfortable?" he asked.

She nodded silently, which encouraged Eli to take the next step.

"Keep your eyes closed."

Seeing that her eyelids were still hiding her orbs, he carefully started tugging at the bottom of her blouse so it would break free from the waistline of her skirt. He heard her release a peaceful breath, signaling to him that she was fine with this and that she actually felt a bit more comfortable because of it. Feeling her become less tense already, Eli softly put his hand on her hips before slowly gliding them under her top.

"Eli," she breathed, trying not to sound alarmed.

"Trust me."

Hearing her let out a gentle sigh and assuming that it was a gesture for him to continue, Eli slid his hands farther up her shirt until his hands were against the skin of her back. She hummed quietly as she relaxed at his touch. He began by gently caressing her spine with his palm while his other hand rubbed circles on the small of her back. He soon moved both of his hands until his left was near the center of her back and his right was on the lower portion. He applied pressure every so often then released it, causing her muscles to let go of the tension. He used his fingertips to administer direct care to certain areas, but was cautious to not give her any pain.

"How does that feel?" he asked after hearing nothing but content sighs from Clare over the next couple of minutes.

"So good," she answered, feeling more relaxed now than she ever did over the past month and a half.

The movements of his hands caused the back of her blouse to move up on her body occasionally, but she was too at peace to care. The cool air on her skin and Eli's warm hands were the perfect combination for tranquility. He continued massaging her back for several more minutes until she had almost fallen asleep on him. He then retracted his hands from under the blouse and put his arms around her in an embrace. She felt safe in his hold as she rested her head against his chest. He was warm and the sounds of his heartbeat and breathing were soothing to her.

She grinned, glad that Eli was able to distract her from K.C . . .

That was when she knew she jinxed her emotions. With a flash, her mind had returned to the same state it was before. Although her muscles were feeling better and her body was free of tautness, her mind soon began to buzz again. Irritated, she growled lightly and turned her head until her forehead laid on his breastbone.

"It's still bothering you, hu?" he guessed before she gave him a nod.

"I'm sorry," she said, knowing that her dismal mood was taking away from the enjoyable time they should have been having together.

"Don't worry," he assured her. "This stuff happens."

Eli kept his arms around hers, sort of astounded at how she was letting this pressure get to her. Usually she would try to relax and think positively; today it seemed that she was doing one but not the other. Maybe because it was her senior year or because she had changed this past month and a half; either way, he wished that she could find harmony. Eli kissed the top of her head, wishing that he could take whatever burdens she was carrying off her shoulders.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No," she said. "I'm just being . . . well, _me_."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You know . . . I let everything get the best of me and it stays in my head until it explodes."

"Do you think you're reaching the breaking point?" he asked.

"I don't know, but if I'll feel a lot better when I get some of this stuff sorted out. I just don't know how to deal with it in the meantime."

"You just need to let off some steam."

"I would, but my thoughts are too scattered. I can't think of any ways to defuse my stress."

"Then scream."

"What?" she exclaimed as she lifted her head to meet his eyes, automatically thinking in retrospect to when they first became English partners.

"Scream."

"Not this again," she chuckled.

"Come on, we're not in public this time; and it's not like I've never heard you scream before."

"Yeah, but . . ."

"It really helps. Even if it just calms you down for a while, it allows you let off steam so you don't lose your mind later on."

"Are you telling me that you sometimes scream to relieve stress?"

"At times," he confessed. "Other times I go for a drive and turn the radio up really loud."

"Well, screaming your lungs out may work for you, but I don't think it will for me."

"Just try it," he encouraged her.

"What about you, college boy? You don't have any stress you want to get rid of?" she teased, sitting up while continuing to look down at him.

"I left all my stress in Ottawa," he explained, sitting up as well. "Now my universe is perfectly serene."

"So, once again, I'm going to be the one screaming and you're going to be watching?" she assumed, remembering that Eli did not participate last time either.

"It doesn't even have to be a real scream; just yell out something that's been on your mind and driving you crazy. For example . . ."

Eli slid off the hearse and took a few steps away from it as he took a deep breath and faced the trees in front of them.

"I MISS MY GIRLFRIEND LIKE CRAZY WHEN I'M AWAY!"

Oddly, Clare appreciated him shouting those words out. Not only did she know for sure now that he truly did think of her while he was in Ottawa, but it made her feel a bit more comfortable in letting out of some of her anger.

"Your turn," he said to her as he reclaimed his spot on Morty's hood.

Clare, seeing the advantage of doing this, got off the hearse and wandered to the same spot Eli was standing at seconds before. Sucking in some air and collecting her thoughts until they created a single phrase, she released the animosity and regret within her by screaming:

"I WANT EVERYTHING TO BE LESS COMPLICATED!"

Seconds later, all she heard around her was complete silence. Her words did not echo through the woods; instead, they traveled away from her and disappeared. They were now out of her and it was now the air's problem instead of hers. Surprised from the relief that gave her, Clare wore a tiny grin on her face as she walked back to the hearse.

"How do you feel now?" Eli asked in hope that his method had helped her.

"Better, actually," she said as she climbed back on to the hood and into Eli's arms. "Now I just can't wait to get tomorrow over with."

"Then it's just you and me for our date and sleepover."

Clare grinned at the reminder; she needed to spend an evening with Eli and eventually fall asleep in his arms until the troubles of her mind melted away.

"I have ever told you how much I love you?"

"All the time," he answered her.

"Well, I'm going to tell you again. I love you very, very, very, very, _very_ much."

Eli kissed her head to silently respond to her statement before securing her tighter in his arms.

"Are you alright?"

"I think so," she answered, now making it her mission to enjoy the time she had in Eli's arms instead of focusing on the day that had passed. "I just can't wait until tomorrow night."

"Neither can I," he agreed. "Thankfully, by this time tomorrow, it's going to be just you and me."

Clare smiled, adoring the sound of being alone with Eli.

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?"

"Well, I was thinking maybe we could grab a bite at the Dot first, then go to our place and spend time there for a while, make a fire and roast some marshmallows, and then eventually go back to my house."

"That sounds great," she sighed contently. "Can I offer one suggestion?"

"Certainly," he responded.

"Can we do a bit of this . . .?"

Clare then put her lips to Eli's and began kissing him powerfully as she rested her hands on his shoulders. She did not waste any time slipping her tongue into his mouth and occasionally tugging on his bottom lip with her teeth.

"And this . . .?"

She trailed her lips down to his neck, giving it many pecks and administering much care with every one she gave. She heard him release breaths and gasps of pleasure, which made her feel truly confident for the first time since she wore that revealing outfit over webcam for him on his birthday.

"And maybe a bit of this . . .?" she muttered before she moved her lips back to his.

Clare then glided her hands all the way down his body until she was able to slide them under his Dead Hand t-shirt. She felt his muscles flinch at her touch and she felt him smiling against her kiss. She savored the feeling of his warm flesh and did not hesitate to smooth her fingertips over his skin so she could become reacquainted with it. Seconds later, she felt his fingers tangle into her curls, creating more fire and passion between them as they kissed. After many more minutes of kissing, they both needed to catch breath and they separated their lips.

"I've been wanting to do all of that for so long," he breathed, keeping his fingers tangled in her hair. She smiled down lovingly at him before kissing his lips again; removed her hands from beneath his shirt and sliding them up his body until she was cupping his jaw with one hand while the other rested on his chest. She freed his lips and kept grinning at him as they locked eyes.

"Then . . ." she began, trailing her finger down Eli's jaw to his chin. "Maybe we should make up for lost time when we're alone tomorrow night."

Eli grinned as he moved his hands from her hair to her face until he was gently cupping it and he was able to bring her lips back to his.

"That sounds like a very good idea to me," he told her softly against her lips. They continued kissing, both of them becoming completely lost; Clare only kept her thoughts and feelings on Eli, therefore causing any feelings against K.C to vanish completely. While they kissed, she truly began to believe that this day could end on a positive note after all.

* * *

"_How did we get here?_

_When I used to know you so well_

_But how did we get here?_

_Well I think I know"_

_~"Decode" by Paramore_

* * *

There you go readers who read!

Due to this story's length, I know I've probably lost a few (or a lot) of readers, so please drop a review to let me know that you are still reading. I really appreciate all you people who are still reading after one hundred nighteen chapters. Review!


	120. The Gunsling

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

WHOA! Incredible! You guys are . . . I have no words to describe how amazing you guys are! Thank you so much for the feedback! We are a lick away from 1,500 reviews! I am a happy camper!

Just want to take this moment to thank anyone who has helped me with this fic (for example: college stuff, long-distance relationships, helping me when I need a plot/song suggestion, helping me get rid of the kinks in the plot, support, etc.). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Ladies and gentlemen, I don't own *dramatically puts on sunglasses to the strings of a Who song* Degrassi. YEOW!

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Twenty

The Gunsling

The couple was practically inseparable for the rest of night; Eli took her to work and stayed there like he promised, sneaking in conversations and flirtatious comments at every possible moment. Once Clare was finished for the night, he dropped her off at her house; they exchanged loving kisses, a hug, and a couple "I love you's".

Their night did not end there, however. They texted for most of the night; Clare was not exactly sure what they talked about until one in the morning, but she was in a decent the mood when she awoke. The only factor that was holding her back from experiencing complete bliss was her confrontation with K.C yesterday.

Eli's method of her releasing frustration helped, and she was pleased when she found that it was not a temporary treatment. She was certain the drama that began yesterday would transpire into today, but she was not as upset as she was before she spent time with Eli. She simply decided if she was to have a conversation with K.C today, she would not be the one to initiate it. In her mind, she had been used, she had right to be angry, and she did not feel the need to apologize in any way. If K.C wanted to desperately speak to her about anything, it would be his responsibility to have the decency to say that he was sorry to her.

If she did not have plans that afternoon, she probably would have swallowed her pride and made the effort to make amends with K.C. The only issue with being the bigger person in this scenario was the possibility of their conflict deepening, ergo leaving her in a mood worse than before. Her night with Eli was too important and she was not going to risk having it being ruined by her frustrations, thus she did not see harm in prolonging a potential conversation with K.C.

Even with this plan in her head, she was still desperate to get this day over with and go back to Eli's. She was not sure if Eli had brought any of her clothes back from Ottawa, so she took her time that morning to pack a duffle bag of all necessary items she would need for the weekend.

Eli picked her up at the exact same time he did yesterday, gave her a kiss, and they both grinned by merely being in each other's company.

"I had a great time last night," she told him as they stood outside her house; his arms tangled her around her while she got as close to him as possible.

"So did I," he replied. "Still interested in that date we planned for tonight?"

"Only if you're talking about the one with the bonfire at our special place, roasting marshmallows, and spending the night with you."

"That's what I was thinking," he grinned. "And I was thinking that maybe we could spend the weekend together as well."

"Sounds perfect," she agreed, knowing that would be able to elude the drama of her life with Eli.

"Want me to take this to my house so you don't have to lug it around all day?" he asked, gesturing to her duffle.

"Thanks," she said as he took it off her hands. He kept a secure arm around her shoulders as they walked towards Morty; like yesterday, he opened the door for her and she thanked him. He put her duffle in the back of the hearse before climbing in to the driver's side.

"Are you okay?" he asked when they began driving down the road. He could not help but notice that Clare was acting abnormally; her smile was not remaining on her face, her eyes were not glistening, and she was not focused on the surroundings. Eli suspected that this probably had to do with the issues she was having yesterday, but he did not want to push her to talk to him in case that gave her more stress.

"Yeah," she answered. "It's just going to be a _long_ day, that's all."

"Why do you say that?"

"I'm probably going to have to deal with all the same stuff I had to deal with yesterday."

Eli glanced at her, seeing just how drained and unenthusiastic she was. He did not want to her to feel that way, especially with the weekend right around the corner, and he wished that he was able to throw all her troubles away.

"Anything I can do to help?" he offered. "Maybe help you with an essay this weekend or something?"

"I'll be fine," she reassured him. "But please don't hate me if I'm a bit moody when I get out of school."

"I won't. But, if that happens, just say the word and I'll give you another back massage."

She grinned at his proposal, knowing that she would more than likely accept it if she had a day like she did the day before.

"I may just take you up on that."

Within minutes, Eli was pulling up to the front of the school. Clare felt her stomach do a painful flip at the sight of it, but not for the reasons that existed the day prior. She would still miss Eli and feel crestfallen as they parted ways, yet her biggest concern was the person going up the steps of Degrassi. K.C was moving up to the school and Clare noticed how he took a look at the hearse through the window. Hoping that Eli did not seem him or his obvious observation, she turned her head to the driver's side.

"So what are you going to do today?"

"My dad wants to have one of our father/son outings since I've been gone for so long and we have not really talked that much lately."

"Alright," Clare said, pleased that one of them would be having a stress-free day. "I hope you guys have fun."

"Thanks. Are you going to be okay?" he asked her as she took off her seatbelt.

"Yeah," she nodded. "But my day will be a lot better once you and I can be alone together."

"Don't worry," he consoled her. "After three o'clock, we're out of here."

Desperately wanting to fast-forward to that time, Clare put her arms around Eli and he reciprocated; he kept her in this embrace until he heard her release a soft sigh. He kissed the top of her head, hoping that this day would not be as rough as the one before.

"I'll see you soon," he promised her.

"Can't wait," she replied before giving him a kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Taking the most silent breath she could, Clare climbed out of the car and began walking to the school, only somewhat prepared for anything that was to come.

Except for that morning when she was in the hearse with Eli, K.C did not make eye contact with her all day. He did not make any effort to speak to her, which she honestly did not find surprising. The side of her that was screaming in enmity said that he was running from his problems while the rational side of her said that he was probably thinking of Jenna and the date she was going on that night. Whatever his reasons were, he was not speaking to her and she doubted that he would take any steps to fix that; he even sat with Dave, Connor, and Wesley at lunch instead of her and Alli.

Clare did not want to admit it to herself, but it stung her that K.C did not try to apologize yet. She thought that their friendship meant a great deal to him, so his lack of communication made her wonder if she was only kidding herself and she was still just a friend he could forget about.

Alli had encouraged Clare to swallow her pride and talk to K.C to clean this mess instead of waiting on him. She stated that she would have a better weekend if they made amends; but Clare remained persistent and refused to utter a word to him out of righteousness and fear that drama would only get worse.

When the final bell rang at the end of the day, Clare kept telling herself that she only had to go to her locker and out the doors until she was home free. Eli would be waiting for her out there and they would finally have a vast amount of time together. She went by her locker and put the majority of her books in it. Once she had a lighter load, she put her bag over her shoulder and began walking towards the door. As she journeyed down the hall, she noticed a familiar face leaning against the lockers; K.C was looking right at her and took a couple of steps in her direction once she was close enough.

"Clare," he said.

"K.C," she responded, not quite sure if she should be expecting an apology or another dispute to be brought to the table.

He took a breath, hoping that the words he was about to say would potentially resolve the conflict from yesterday.

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said and . . . it was not cool for me to get upset with you when you said that you would not help me."

"Thank you," Clare said, pleased that he was finally able to understand. "I'm sorry for being so harsh."

"Don't worry about it."

Clare grinned at him, glad that he was being earnest; his words definitely deflated her negativity, but she was not completely satisfied due to how quickly this seemed to be fixed.

"You understand that just because I'm your friend doesn't mean that I'm going to talk to Jenna for you. I wouldn't ask you to do anything for me because of Eli; we may be friends again, but we're still exes."

"I know."

"But that is not the only reason I would not talk to her for you."

"What's the other reason?"

"If you love her as much as you say do, then it has to be you who has to go to her to talk and sort things out."

"I tried," he said.

"Try harder. If it comes from anyone else other than you, she could think that you're too afraid to face her yourself."

K.C stood there, contemplating his situation as he tried to decide what he could do. Clare saw the wheels turning in his head, hoping that she had gotten through to him.

"Can I just ask you one thing?"

"Sure," she permitted.

"If by some miracle Jenna and I get back together, will there be a chance of you two putting everything behind you?"

Clare opened her mouth to retort, dumbfounded that he was, yet again, asking her to get involved with Jenna. Before she could speak, K.C hastily elaborated on his statement.

"When I first started dating Jenna, I lost you as a friend; I don't want that to happen again, so I thought that maybe there was a way for you to still be around without it being weird for you."

All of Clare's emotions melted into gratitude; K.C basically said to her that he wanted her in his life whether Jenna was around or not and that made her heart warm. The two girls may not have been on the best of terms, but she would consider forgiving and forgetting if she meant this much to K.C.

"If you talk to Jenna and you two get back together, I will."

K.C grinned at this, although the idea of speaking to Jenna was nerve-wracking.

"Okay," he accepted.

"So you are going to talk to Jenna, right?"

"Yeah," he answered. "In fact, I'll go talk to her after work."

"That's good," Clare approved as they stepped outside and faced each other at the top of the stairs.

"Then . . . are we okay?" he asked her.

Clare bit her lip and pretended to muse, her decision already final in her mind.

"You'll never ask me to talk to Jenna for you again?"

"Never," he swore.

"And you aren't mad at me for bailing on you yesterday?"

"No," he said.

"And you will never again get under my skin when Eli's in town?"

"Lesson learned," he assured her.

"Then guess we're good."

K.C grinned in relief and contentment; he had not lost his friendship with Clare, which he was grateful for, and it eased him that she was not apprehensive to forgive him as opposed to not long ago.

"Thanks, Clare."

"No problem," she smiled.

They pulled each other into a friendly, comforting hug; each of them felt a sense of peace come over them. This fight may have strained them, but the manmade miracle of communication was all they needed to be themselves again.

What they did not see was the hearse parked on the other side of the lot. The person inside saw their embrace and their smiles and it ignited a cold fire within him. He did not understand it at all. Since when were Clare and K.C friends again? When did they start talking? Why didn't she tell him? Feeling betrayed and hurt, Eli drove off the campus, and neither K.C nor Clare noticed this as they released each other.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad we broke up," K.C admitted as they separated.

Clare couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "Me too," she agreed. "I probably wouldn't have met Eli if we didn't."

"Are you two still going to spend time together this weekend then?"

"Yeah," she said as they walked down the steps. "Hopefully all of it if he doesn't get sick of me."

K.C chuckled, highly doubting that would come to pass.

"I hope you guys have fun."

"Thanks. I'll see you, K.C," she said.

"See ya," he replied as he began walking down the sidewalk.

Grinning at the day's events, Clare focused all of her attention on skimming the parking lot for any sign of a hearse since Eli told her he would pick her up. She looked around, however, and could not see the car anywhere, which was odd considering Morty stuck out like a sore thumb. She was instantly perplexed at the absence. Why would Eli be late to pick her up when they had plans?

Assuming that he was probably just running a bit late because of his day out with Bullfrog, she cleared her head and decided that it would just be best to give him a few minutes to get to the school. She sat down on one of the bottom steps, waiting patiently for him to arrive so their weekend could begin.

()()

The hearse was sitting perfectly still outside the Goldsworthy's house while Eli sat inside it, resting his head on the headrest of his seat. He did not want to go inside the house, so he sat there and tried to make sense of what was going on, but he did not reach any conclusions.

He could not rationalize why he felt so hurt and dejected, but he did know that he wanted to erase the images from his head.

It may have been a simple hug, but there had to be a story to it. Clare had never mentioned K.C, and their embrace in front of Degrassi did not seem to be one that was exchanged because wounds had just been healed. No, there was care and friendliness in that hug and Eli was disgusted by it.

Eli was under the impression that Clare still hated K.C when he left for Ottawa. He wondered what could have possibly changed or what K.C could have done for the two of them to start being physically affectionate with one another. Whatever it was, he now had to confront the combination of two emotions he currently possessed. He was enraged that K.C could think that he could simply waltz in and start talking to Clare the second her boyfriend left for university. Was that a part of a plan he had all along? Did he still have feelings for Clare? Eli was not sure, but the idea of someone creating some scheme to woo Clare riled him. On top of this was abhorrence towards Clare because she had decided to keep him uninformed about this; unless she had a motive of her own, he could not comprehend why she would not keep him involved.

Eli sat in Morty and his mind was brought back to earth when the soft sound of a ringtone began to play; when he saw that it was Clare calling, he hit a button to reject the call and tried to not feel affected by her need to contact him. He turned off his phone before putting it on the dashboard and attempting to clear his head.

For the first time since he left for Ottawa – maybe even before summer – he did not want to see, hear, or think about Clare. It was a failed desire, for she was the source of his current problem and he could not wash his mind of the image that stood out in the eyes of his brain. The longer he sat in the car, the more his mind wandered into the dark possibilities that could have been occurring under his nose all along. He tried to argue with himself and say that he was overthinking, but the devil on his shoulder was telling him otherwise.

Frustrated with himself, he eventually lifted his head to look out the windshield. His timing could not have been more unfortunate, for he saw Clare coming down the street.

_Great_, he growled in his head. It was ironic that he had wanted nothing more than to see her every day for over a month and now he did not want to look at her. His mind was reeling and he wanted to get his thoughts collected before he talked to her about this.

She was coming towards him, grinning in relief at the sight of him. He bit his tongue so he would not let any resentment slip from his lips and taint his already sickened mind. Clare's smile made his blood curdle; how could she grin after what he just witnessed? She should be feeling guilt and regret about holding on to K.C and appearing fairly happy as she did so; not bearing to look at her, Eli turned his eyes down to the steering wheel.

Seconds later, he heard the passenger side door open and close, but he did not move an inch. He kept his same position and focused on the curves of the wheel before his eyes.

"I was starting to get worried about you," she informed him, getting comfortable in the seat but not having the chance to look at his face. "I tried calling you to see if you were running behind and . . ."

Her words dissolved in her mouth before she could get them out. She saw that Eli's eyes were staring at the steering wheel but were not focusing on it.

"Eli?"

He did not respond, which gave made Clare's heart leap painfully.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said emotionlessly.

This was not Eli . . . not her Eli. Her Eli may have been resistant to tell her his problems, but he rarely had such hostility in his voice; there was not any sadness, only bitterness. She did not understand why he was being so stubborn and was refusing to answer her, but it was creating an unsettling feeling and she needed to know what was wrong.

"Eli, you're starting to worry me. What is it?"

Eli took a breath as he continued look at the wheel, determined not to look in Clare's direction. Now that she was there, all the "what ifs" in his head were beginning to cease and pure ire began to ring through him. He was aware that staying mute would not bring any justifications, but he wanted to find the answers in his emotions to avoid hearing phrases that would more than likely slip from Clare's lips if his speculations were correct.

But Eli wanted answers . . . he _needed_ answers. Even if what he heard was nothing he wanted to hear, it would be better than never discovering the truth and feeling the effects the lack of knowledge had on him.

"What's going on with you and K.C?" he demanded.

"N-Nothing," she answered, being cautious to answer not too quickly. Her heart started pounding and her mind was racing with all the questions and concerns that were sprouting in her head. How did he find out? What was he thinking? She attempted to keep a poker face, not wanting to cause any suspicions for Eli.

"I know there's something up," he argued.

"Why would you even think that?"

His envy, fury, and curiosity getting the best of him, he turned to Clare.

"I saw you two outside Degrassi."

Clare's stomach did an unpleasant flip, having an idea of what Eli saw and the thoughts he had because of it.

"You saw us hugging?"

"Hugging, embracing, holding on to each other lovingly, whatever you want to call it," he listed, not even attempting to hide his anger.

Clare took notice of his behavior and she had to say that she was not completely surprised at how brash he was about it. Just like she feared, he began forming ideas as to what had been happening and how she felt about K.C; he only saw that one hug and that opened the floodgates to his thoughts and ridiculous theories.

"I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong."

"Do you know? Do you really?"

"You think that there is something more than friendship going on."

"You can't really blame me for thinking that."

"You don't even know what has been happening."

"You're right, I don't," he snapped. "And whose fault is that?"

She did not expect Eli to get so argumentative so quickly. She thought that the real wrath would erupt if she ever told him about her and K.C, but she was proven wrong. She had not revealed a single word about what had truly happened, so she was slightly afraid as to how he would react when she eventually did tell him everything.

"If you calm down, I'll tell you."

"Since when do you two even talk?" he nearly shouted, not hearing what she said to him. "When I left, you didn't speak to him and you didn't like him."

"We started talking this year, okay?" she asked.

"Come clean, Clare," he said. "What has been going on?"

Clare sighed and looked at the dashboard in front of her. For weeks she had neglected to speak about this subject with Eli, but now she could see that there was not a way around it. Praying that this would be a simple discussion and that no hardships would come from it, she took in a gulp of air and began to speak.

"A month ago, K.C tried talking to me. I tried avoiding him, but he kept trying. I finally just let him talk and he told me that he and Jenna had a lot of issues this summer and they broke up; it made him realize that he had to fix some things. He apologized for what happened years ago and for saying stuff last year and I forgave him."

"Then why you guys hugging?"

"Friends hug! I hug Adam all the time and you don't say anything about it!"

"But Adam never dated you!"

"It was just a hug, Eli."

He bit his tongue to keep from exploding with fury.

"Were you ever going to tell me this?"

"You don't have to know who all my friends are."

"This is your ex-boyfriend we're talking about."

"We're just friends," she repeated.

"Just friends?" he scoffed. "The last time one of us said 'just friends' it turned out to be more than that."

"What happened with Kate was different! She wasn't seeing anyone, K.C still has feelings for Jenna and they're getting things worked out."

"What if they don't or they break up again?" Eli inquired, not making delay to voice one of the contemplations he had building up in his cranium. "He'll come crawling back to you because you've been soon friendly to him."

"That doesn't mean I'll go back to him or anything. I'm in love with _you_, remember?"

"How do you know that he's just saying that he wants to be with Jenna again just to make you jealous?"

"Because he –."

Before she stopped speaking, Clare realized what she was about to say. Telling Eli about her fight with K.C would only add to the list of reasons for him to hate her ex-boyfriend plus he would catch her in another lie; that fight was the reason behind her stress yesterday and she knew Eli would react unhappily if he found out the real reason behind it.

"Because he what?" Eli asked.

"I . . . forget it," she said, hoping in vain that he would leave it alone. But that was not going to happen this time.

"No more secrets, Clare. I want to know why you think he's the good guy here."

Knowing for sure that she would not be able to get herself out of the state she was in, she gathered her thoughts.

"We were supposed to work on this project yesterday at his house –."

"Great," Eli mumbled sarcastically.

"Listen," she snapped. "But then you came home and I cancelled on him. He got upset about it because he was hoping to talk to me about something and he wanted it to be in private."

Disbelieved by what was coming out of her mouth, Eli turned to her.

"He wanted to talk to you alone about something in private?" he repeated. "Do you know what people mean when they say that?"

"He didn't want to talk about us and he wasn't tricking me into a date," she informed him, knowing that those theories would cross his mind. "He wanted me to talk to Jenna because he found out she was going on a date. But I told him I wouldn't do it and we got into a fight about it."

"Why wouldn't you have done that for him? You're _friends_, aren't you?"

"He may be my friend, but I don't talk to Jenna anymore."

"And he being your ex had nothing to do with it?"

"No," she said forcefully, which did not exactly help her case in Eli's eyes.

"Are you sure? Because I'm sure you would have done it for any of your other male friends in a heartbeat."

"Fine," she said. "Maybe it had to do a little bit with that, but that's normal."

"Is it?" he questioned with raised eyebrows.

"This isn't fair, Eli. If we broke up and somehow became friends again, you wouldn't want to pimp me out to some other guy."

"But we're in a relationship now; why does everything that happened with Jenna still bother you?"

"It doesn't!"

"You just said it did!"

"I meant that you don't ask your ex to talk to the person you want to be with. But it doesn't matter anymore because he's going to try talking to Jenna so they can sort out everything; and it's possible that she and I will fix things too."

"So . . . you were upset yesterday because of a fight you had with him? It wasn't because of anything else?" he presumed, connecting all the pieces together.

Clare swallowed the lump in her throat, knowing that lying now would cause more damage.

"He was the _main_ issue, but all that other stuff was bothering me as well; just not as much."

Eli scoffed, not being able to believe what he was hearing.

"So you lied to me?"

She wanted to retort and tell him that she merely hid a couple of details from him or some other form of cliché, but she could not escape the ultimate truth. She had deliberately obscured the truth from him and never intended to speak about it merely so he would never found out.

"I'm sorry," she said, but she only heard Eli huff in disbelief.

"I still don't understand why you didn't say anything to me about K.C in the first place!"

"I tried! I told you I had a new friend who was a guy and you didn't seem happy about it."

"I was fine with it."

"Who's lying now?" she remarked, knowing that he was not being honest.

"Fine, I wasn't happy about it; but finding out like this isn't any better. I would have been fine if you just told me."

"No, you wouldn't have! You were already freaking out about me liking guys in England I never met, so bringing up the fact that I was talking to my ex would not have helped!"

"And finding out like this is _fantastic_!" he said sarcastically.

"Eli," she groaned. "You wanted me to tell you and I've told you."

"And you didn't mention how upset you were about him making you upset yesterday because . . .?"

"I didn't want your time here to be filled with drama, so I kept my mouth shut. I thought that way we could have a few great days together before you go back to Ottawa."

"And that plan is going just swimmingly, isn't it?" he snapped with acrimony.

"Eli, it's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?" he reiterated. "You lied to me for over a month and you don't think this is a big deal?"

"You did this last year!" she reminded him, wanting the level the playing field so he would not be so harsh.

"And that makes it fair?"

"No, but I felt bad about keeping this from you; you did not care period."

Eli clenched his fists until his fingernails were leaving marks in his palm. His anger was coating his hurt by the time he processed those words and it took all the willpower he had to not shout.

"I _did _care," he growled. "But the difference is that I didn't hang out with Kate and intentionally keep it from you."

"Yeah, there were just those small details about your past, the fact that you two almost kiss while going over her lines, and those moments when she kissed you."

"But I was never her friend behind your back!"

"I wasn't going behind your back!" she disputed. "I made a new friend and you don't control who my friends are!"

"I don't believe this," he said with a dry chuckle. "Months back, you were upset because I wasn't honest with you about Kate, but now you're keeping things from me about your ex. The tables have surely turned now."

"That was completely different! Kate had feelings for you; K.C doesn't have feelings for me."

"This isn't about him having feelings for you or not! You _lied_ to me!"

"You kept a lot more stuff from me when Kate was around than I did from you!"

"And that makes it okay?"

"I'm just saying that you're not being fair!"

"Fair?" he snapped. "What's not fair is that you're getting mad at me about this when you were the one keeping secrets! I'm the one who has the right to be mad here! I mean, what happened to the whole honesty thing we agreed on?"

"I had my reasons for not telling you!"

"But if we stuck to it, we wouldn't be having this discussion!"

Clare shook her head. She found Eli to be very hypocritical for pointing the finger at her while he was the one doing it around this time a year ago.

"I didn't want you to get involved because I knew how you would get."

"Excuse me?"

"You are involved in so much of my life –!"

"Shame on me for taking an interest in my girlfriend's life," he said with sarcasm.

"Will you let me finish?" she yelled at him. "When you get involved, you get really involved!"

"And since when is that a problem?"

"When you start making assumptions like the ones you've been making right now!"

"That's because you _haven't_ been involving me in your life lately!"

"But if I did, you would have been angry like you are now and you probably would have told K.C to not hang around me!"

"I'm not a monster, Clare!"

"You would have done something!"

"You don't know that!"

"So you're going to tell me that you wouldn't have done anything to K.C like you did to Fitz at Vegas Night?"

"That was nearly _two years_ _ago_! I've grown out of that!"

"But I know you wouldn't have sat back and accepted it!"

"I probably would've sent him an email to warn him that he better not hurt you or do anything to steal you away."

"There!" she bellowed. "This is why I didn't tell you! I _knew_ that would get involved like that!"

"Of course I'd get involved with it in that way!" he snapped at her. "It's not like I was going to beat him up or anything!"

"We are only friends! There's nothing to get involved in!"

"That's kind of hard to believe after you keep me in the dark about this for weeks! How do you expect us to make a long-distance relationship work if you don't talk to me about these things?"

"It's not like you tell me every small thing about your life at Ottawa."

"Yes, I do," he contended. "I tell you _everything_!"

Clare rolled her eyes; it was not possible that he had told her every last detail about his university life, therefore it was irksome for him to claim the opposite.

"I don't like the idea of you two hanging out together!" he then snapped at her.

"Nothing is going to happen! I love you and he loves Jenna; nothing is going to happen to us –!"

"I don't care! I still don't like the idea!"

"It's my life!"

"Last time I checked, I was a part of your life!"

"You are! But that does not give you the right to tell me who I can and cannot hang out with! I would never do that to you! Even when you were friends with Kate, I did not ask you to stop hanging out with her because I knew that she was your friend!"

"Things are different now!"

"How?"

"I'm not here! How am I going to know if this is more than a friendship?"

"How about you try trusting me?"

"That's kind of hard to do after you've been lying to me almost the minute since I left!"

Clare was becoming more heated with every word that came out of Eli's mouth. He had never told her what to do in this relationship, but now he was and then he was passing these judgments; she did not know if she was more offended or upset. She never met this part of Eli and, honestly, she never wanted to.

"You're acting like a real jerk, Eli," she said harshly.

"How do you expect me to act?"

"Like my boyfriend and be understanding."

"Unlucky for you, I'm not always going to be the guy who wants to watch his girlfriend spend time with her ex-boyfriend."

"We broke up years ago and I'm with you now. Can't you just try to be happy that he and I have finally mended the rift that has been between us?"

"No, I can't!"

"Why can't you?"

"Because that means that you two are close again, which means that there is a possibility that you'll go back to him."

Clare's reaction was nothing short of astounded. Out of all the words she had heard this week, these set of words shot her in the heart and she felt cold. This hurt her like nothing else and she could even begin to grasp the concept of Eli being able to form these ideas in his head.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm three hundred miles away; he's right here! You two are close and you used to have feelings for each other! It's doesn't take a freaking genius to figure out what's probably going to happen here!"

Clare's heart skipped an unpleasant beat as her insides seemed to disappear.

"Y-You think I'm going to leave you for K.C?"

"It's not impossible!"

That was a blow to the gut for Clare; if it was a simple case of him feeling a bit miserable because of K.C, she could learn handle it. Now he was making _this _assumption and it broke her heart. She couldn't take that and she felt tears come to her eyes.

"Thanks for trusting me, Eli," she choked sarcastically through a tight throat before getting out of the hearse. "Have a safe trip back to Ottawa."

"Fine!" he shouted, but he doubted that she heard him since had already left the car; he sighed and let his head rest against the seat. Part of him wanted to go after her and actually make an attempt to solve this instead of making it worse; yet another part told him that he had a few valid points and he hid in the hearse for a few more hours.

()()

Clare cried as she walked home and even more when she was in the solitude of her room. Helen was not going to be home until six, so she had a few moments to herself. Out of anger, she basically ripped the necklace off her neck and pushed her panda bear off her bed. She did not want any reminders of Eli, but she kept her promise ring on her finger.

She was confident that they would make up in time; for now, she would have no choice but to get through the pain. Her rage, her agony, and her gloom shook her and she only wanted to be alone for as long as she could. She potentially moved to the kitchen because there were many memories of him in her room and she wanted to sidetrack herself from his for as long as she could.

She had not considered contacting Eli. She kept her phone upstairs in her purse and had not even made the attempt to take it out. If Eli chose to get in touch with her to apologize – which she hoped for but knew was unlikely – he would just have to wait until she chose to remove her phone from its current fortress.

Her anger with Eli was still raging, but not near as much as her ache. The accusations he made were hurtful and she could not believe that he truly had those thoughts in his head. After all the promises they made and everything that had happened between them, she could not find it plausible for these speculations had crossed his mind.

In many attempts to distract herself from their fight, Clare sat the dining room table and ate her third sandwich of the evening. She was aware that it was unhealthy to eat to ones feelings – especially when there were many to devour – but focusing on the contents of her food was a decent distraction. Laying down the bread, smothering it in mayonnaise, slapping down various sandwich meats, blanketing them with cheddar cheese, and topped it all off another slice of whole wheat kept her mind focused on something other than Eli. It mildly disturbed her that she was paying this much attention to a food that would be gone within fifteen minutes; but as long as her head was somewhere else for the time-being, she did not care.

Even when her stomach was full of food, she did not leave the kitchen. She simply sat at the breakfast bar and looked at her now empty plate. She tried to evade her thoughts of Eli, but they always found her in the end. No longing seeing the use to run from them, she allowed the visions of their argument to replay in her head. It was not until ten minutes after six that she lifted her head at the sound of the door opening and closing; seconds later, she saw her mother coming into the kitchen.

"Hi," Clare said softly.

"Hi," Helen replied, getting a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. "What are you doing home? I thought you and Eli were going out tonight."

"Change of plans," she said, a heavy amount of annoyance and hurt in her voice.

Helen was instantly taken aback by Clare's attitude; it was darker and miserable in comparison to the happy and bright side that she usually had. She sat down next to Clare and saw the pain in her eyes as she tried to hide them with a small grin.

"Are you alright?"

She shrugged.

"Eli and I had a fight."

It always made Helen sad to see her daughter so forlorn after she and Eli have a disagreement. She imagined that this one must have been harder than usual due to the fact that they had not seen each other in six weeks and that they were hoping for a great weekend.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it's stupid."

"Is it stupid or is it just stupid to you?"

Clare sighed and looked at her hands as they rested on the table. In her opinion, Eli was making a mountain out of a molehill and was being too stubborn. However, she doubted that her dilemma would go away if she kept everything inside her. Her mother was usually one to help her with her problems, so she doubted if this scenario would have been any different.

"I . . . never told him that I was friends with K.C again."

"And he found out today?"

Clare nodded.

"I was hugging him outside of Degrassi and Eli saw us. He made it into this big deal and then we got into this argument about how I was keeping things from him . . ."

She recited every detail to Helen, even the ones that she was not proud to speak of. Her mother listened intently, allowing her daughter to let out all the thoughts that were revolving in her head.

". . . And now he thinks I may start having feelings for K.C! How ridiculous is _that_?"

"Darling, look where Eli's coming from," Helen instructed calmly. "You're talking to the guy he thought you would never talk to again and you didn't tell him anything about K.C being your friend again. And he's been gone for nearly two months and so he's probably just worried."

"Worried about what?" she said. "He should know by now that I'm going to remain faithful to him."

"He's been gone for a while and he was hoping you two could pick up where you left off; if you deliberately kept him out of the loop when it comes to your ex, it's going to hurt."

"But he thinks I may leave him for K.C, Mom!" she exclaimed. "I just don't want to believe that he sees me as someone who would do that! I know what it's like to be left for someone, so I thought he would know that I would _never_ do that! I really thought he knew what kind of person I am!"

"It all comes back to worry," Helen said with composure. "He was also probably a bit jealous of K.C because that's made him see that you've been spending time with other guys more than him."

"He shouldn't be jealous just because of that; it's not like any of them are interested in me or anything."

"But remember when you told me that there was that girl who Eli became friends with when he moved into his dorm? You said that you wished that you could have been up there with him and his new friends?" Helen recollected, thinking of a conversation she and Clare had over dinner the day after Eli left for Ottawa.

"I was not jealous of her," Clare mentioned, remembering that she did not use any synonyms related to that word when she told her mother about Cathy. "I was worried because I did not want anything to happen with her like it did with Kate."

"Do you think that maybe that's how Eli's feeling except this time it's you being pursued?"

"Maybe, but . . . I thought he would know that there would not be a reason for him to be jealous because we plan on getting married someday."

"It doesn't matter, Clare. He's still going to be that way because he's away from you and you're spending time with other guys and he can't do anything about it."

"Great," she mumbled.

"It's not an offense towards you," she told Clare as she gently moved some hair back so she could see her daughter's face better. "It's all just happening because he misses you. You're also getting ready to go to England; he was probably looking forward to spending every second with you and he doesn't want to waste any of them."

The anger in Clare – that was dying down but was still attempting to overpower her again – told her that he should not have been wasting the time over a friendship she had. Most of her, on the other hand, saw that logic and was starting to feel rotten about hiding so much from him.

"I guess that's a good point. But why did he have to make me feel worse by saying that I would probably leave him for K.C."

"Maybe saying that was crossing the line a bit, but that could have been the heat of the moment; he probably didn't mean it. Everything was probably just too much and he's probably worried that it could happen because you kept K.C a secret. Just try and see it from his side, Clare."

But she did not have to; she had seen the full picture and she was disappointed in herself because of it. She had been in Eli's shoes before and she remembered all too well how she felt at that time a bit more than a year ago. A shallow pit formed in her stomach, no longer being able to deny that she had put him through the same pain she had been through . . . maybe even a bit more. She looked down at her empty plate guiltily, realizing now that she had done Eli a terrible wrong and that she was a hypocrite for preaching honesty but not following through with it.

"I want him to trust me, Mom."

"Do you think you gave him reason not to?"

Clare felt tears coming to her eyes, feeling horrible for giving Eli almost every imaginable cause to throw his trust in her away.

Helen read her daughter's face and saw that Clare had indeed given Eli a reason to lose some faith.

"If you two want this relationship to work while he's away, both of you have to trust each other."

She knew that Helen was right even before those words had to be said. Nothing was worth putting their relationship in jeopardy, not even the fear of getting into a fight. Those were inevitable in any healthy long-term relationships and it was foolish of her to keep Eli in the dark about K.C when they always agreed to be truthful with each other. It did nothing but brought misery to them and now they were losing valuable time together because of it. Seeing that they were now doing nothing but wasting time because of this, Clare sprung to her feet.

"I'll see you later, Mom."

"Where are you going?" Helen asked as Clare began moving out of the kitchen.

"I need to go talk to Eli."

()()

Eli sat at this desk with his head resting on it as he spun his closed pocketknife on the surface. He tried not feeling hurt and angry about Clare being slightly hypocritical and not telling him what had been happening for so long; he understood that she did it to avoid a problem, but in all actuality it created a bigger mess than it originally would have been. Plus they were supposed to be honest each other no matter what. Was it now beginning to falter since he was so far away and they needed to block out parts of their lives from each other because of it?

Thinking in retrospect to their fight in Morty, there were many comments Eli wished that he had put more gently or else never said at all. Did he believe that he acted like a jerk? Yes, but there was a part of him that said that he had fair reasoning behind his emotions. He wanted Clare to realize it too, but he knew that was not going to be the case until she chose to see it from his side.

Eli unglued his face from his desk and slid the knife away from him, taking a breath as he did so. There were many words that were said today and he was starting to wish that this entire fiasco was handled differently so he would be spared of these feelings. What must have cut him the deepest was when told him to have a safe trip back to Ottawa, which implied that he would not be seeing her anymore. He did not know if this meant they would somehow make up on Skype, if he would have to wait until he came back for a second visit to sort this out, or if he was going to wait in the cold for an absolution. What he did know was that Clare was not on the same page as him, and this disagreement would probably continue until one of them made the first move.

His thoughts of possibly going to her house to talk to her were ceased when he heard some light music playing outside the house. Curious, he walked over to the Union Jack flag that still hung in front of the window before moving it out of the way so he could see outdoors. What he saw was only slightly surprising, but it was still a sight to see . . .

Clare was standing there, looking up at his window as she held up her iPod. The setting sun caused her face be covered by shadow as her body was reflecting a dark mass to the ground; the rays made her glow and it seemed that she was outlined by light. Music was playing from her device as she stood there and gazed at him. His lips perking up a bit at the sight of her, he opened the window. He was soon able to heart the music playing more now that there was no longer a barrier between him and the sounds. The song "The Mortician's Daughter" playing . . . their song was playing.

"What are you doing out there?" he asked.

"Remember how you came to my window a few nights after Kate kissed you and how you promised me you'd always be honest?"

"Yeah," he answered, reminiscing.

"Well . . . this is my way of doing the same thing."

He smiled down at her, his heart warming at the sight before him. Seeing her there and hearing the lyrics made him think back to the times they would dance to this song, sing along to it, or simply lie on his bed during their summer sleepovers and listen to it over and over again.

"Can I talk to you?" she called up to him.

"I'll be right down," he said to her, his anger fading faster.

He closed his window, grabbed his jacket, and slid on his sneakers before rushing out of his room. The music from their song and the sight of Clare was still in his head, but the reason for their current existence was more meaningful to him than anything. His silent hope came true and his girlfriend was outside his house, waiting to talk to him. He could safely assume now that they were to have a conversation of reconcile, for she would not have played that song if that was not the case.

By the time he got down there, he noticed that the music had stopped and she had put her device back in her pocket. Although it was dark, he could still see her blue eyes glistening. He walked up to her, took her in his arms, and the two of them exchanged a comforting embrace. Both of their hearts were fluttering in joy since they could feel that this night could be saved; it was not long until Clare leaned away to see Eli's eyes, but she kept holding on to him and he to her.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Me too," he reciprocated.

She put her lips to his for a loving and forgiving kiss. Even though they only spoke four words between them within the last minute, those were the ones that needed to be said. Equally relieved that they no longer had to live in their thoughts but in reality, the couple broke the kiss and leaned away to look at each other.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't know how or when," she said to him hurriedly so they could put this behind them. "And I was worried that you would be mad or something and . . . I didn't want us to get into a fight."

"That kind of backfired," he said with a light chuckle in attempt to brighten the situation.

"I'll say," she agreed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just thought that you would be happier if you didn't know."

"I know," he said, beginning to see her side more and more now that the clouds of rage had cleared. "I'm sorry I said that you can't hang out with him. It's your life and if you want to be friends with him, I'm fine with it."

"Thank you. And, from now on, I'll tell you when things like this happen, just _please_ don't stop trusting me."

"I never stopped. I was just worried."

"About what?" she asked.

"Losing you," he admitted.

Clare wrapped her arms tighter around him and rested her chin on his shoulder while he nuzzled on her neck.

"You know you don't have to _ever_ worry about that," she said.

"I know, but . . . long-distance does put ideas in your head and . . . it just worries me a bit."

Understanding his reason, she gently glided her hand up and down his spine in hope that it would bring him ease.

"I'm not going anywhere. Believe me, I don't want to be with anyone else for as long as I live. I can't imagine being with another guy even if I wanted to."

Those were all the words he needed to hear and Eli instantly felt all the pain and fear slip out of his mind. He understood that it was possible for those thoughts to return eventually, but they were gone for now and that brought him delight.

"I guess I was a bit paranoid, huh?"

"You had the right to be."

"I'm sorry I thought you were going to leave me for him."

"I thought the same things when Kate was around; we're even."

In this instant, they both realized that they would not have to worry about the other abandoning them and eventually replacing them. They had both experienced both ends of the equation whether it was intentional or not, thus the couple had come to see that one was greatly important to the other and that created a bond that could not be broken. Grasping this fact, Eli moved his head from her body so he would be able to kiss her lips powerfully and she returned it willingly.

After what could have been hours or simply seconds of a breathtaking kiss, Eli ended the kiss and rested his forehead against Clare's. They grinned at each other, knowing that they were both in a good place again.

"And I actually love it that you want to be so involved in my life," she said to him. "It's comforting to know that I will have someone there who cares so much."

Eli smiled at her, relieved to hear this.

"But maybe I should try to not be so . . . protective all the time."

"I'll survive as long as you're not constantly calling every guy friend I get."

"I won't," he promised. He gently kissed her head and she blushed; it was nice for her to see the side of Eli she fell in love with again.

"You don't leave until Sunday, right?" she asked as he leaned away and looked at her eyes again.

"Right," he answered.

"Then let's have a great next two days together. No fights, no drama, just us."

Eli grinned at her before stealing another brief kiss from her.

"That sounds like a plan."

"Then can we still go on that date?" she asked.

Smiling, he let go of her body then scooped Clare up in his arms a second later. She let out a small shriek in surprise, but soon chuckled and smiled at Eli as she locked her arms behind his neck.

"The hearse awaits us, my dear."

She did not expect him to have this much strength, but he was able to carry her all the way to Morty. Her smile seemed to have been etched into her face and, for the first time in a while, she was completely at peace with the world around her. This weekend may not have started out the way she anticipated, but she did not mind as long as she was able to make it as enjoyable as possible with her future husband.

"I love you, Eli Goldsworthy," she said to him when they reached their hearse.

"I love you too, Clare Edwards."

* * *

"_I wash my hands of yesterday"_

_~"The Gunsling" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

This is the longest chapter in this fic (18 pages on Word)! Before, the longest was Chapter 94 "Never Give In" with 15 pages on Word. Oh snap!

I just want to take this moment to thank my sister for reading over this chapter for me!

Review!


	121. Let It Ride

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

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Chapter One Hundred Twenty-One

Let It Ride

The couple stayed at the church for a few hours; before the sun disappeared completely, they took a walk to their clearing before returning to their place. The two kept their original plans and roasted marshmallows over a fire just as they did on his last day before he left for Ottawa; they shared many kisses, talked, and held on to each other to provide the warmth and happiness that the fire could not.

Afterwards, they went back to Eli's house to have a late dinner with his family. CeCe and Bullfrog were delighted to have Clare over again, considering they rarely saw her now that Eli was in university. They even reminded her that she was welcome to visit if she ever wanted to; Clare assured them that she would, but she was slightly apprehensive to do so because did not have the faintest idea what they would talk about and she did want to waste their time with awkward silences. It was different when Eli was there; she felt more confident speaking to them and the four of them would pass the time with endless conversations, smiles, and laughs. Tonight's meal was an example of such times and quiet only came around occasionally so each of them could have a chance to eat without choking.

Later on, Clare and Eli went up to his room to lie on his bed and watch a movie. They spent most of their time making their critiques on the film and exchanging kisses. Clare thoroughly enjoyed this, especially once she saw that Eli was no longer affected by their fight earlier the day and they were truly able to cherish this night together.

By midnight, the movie was over and the two of them decided to get ready for bed. Eli went to get changed in the bathroom while Clare remained in his room. Since Eli had taken Clare's duffle bag to his room that morning, they did not have to go by her house to get anything for her to sleep in and she did not have to borrow any of his clothes. She was ecstatic about this, for she had her reasons for wanting to wear a certain piece of attire on this night.

After she was done changing and combing her hair, Clare sat on the edge of Eli's bed; she stared at her toes as and smoothed out the wrinkles in the nightdress she was wearing while he waited for Eli to return. The garment was dark blue and it reached her knees, the soft material brushing against her thighs. She purchased this a couple of weeks ago so the two of them could possibly explore their intimacy when he came to visit and she was pleased that she was finally able to wear it.

She would admit that she was nervous; it may have been only six weeks since she and Eli had done anything intimate, but it felt like a lifetime to her. She trusted her boyfriend and she was confident that he would not cross any boundaries; her main concerns were possibly being turned down by him or that she would not be able to give him the pleasure she used to before he left.

Clare took a breath when she heard a door close across the hall and that was when she realized that she would only had a matter of seconds to muster up her courage. She stood on to her feet, ruffling her hair with her fingers to give herself a more alluring appearance. For the next few seconds, she had trouble deciding what to do with her hands; when the door began to open, she hastily linked them behind her back and hoped that she did not look too awkward.

Eli stepped into the room and closed the door behind him before catching sight of Clare. His mouth now agape, he eyed her up and down as his numb brain attempted to capture her beauty. Seconds later, she was walking towards him with an engaging smile on her face.

"Hi," she grinned at him.

"Hey," he replied quietly before she took his hand and then kissed his lips. She laid her other hand over his heart and felt it begin to accelerate beneath her palm. He kissed her back with fervor and put his free hand on her hip. She felt more confident the longer they kissed in the privacy of his room and she was now secure in what they were doing.

She slowly pulled away, blushing as she felt Eli's eyes staring at her. Hoping that she looked nice enough, she turned to face him while wearing a shy grin; it was a relief to see him gazing at her with a small smile on his face.

"You look incredible," he complimented. "What's the occasion?"

"No occasion," she told him, guiding him to the bed before she sat on the edge of the mattress. "I'm just glad that we're having one of our sleepovers again."

Eli sat next to her, also thrilled that he would be able to spend the night with Clare for the first time in weeks; he grinned at her as he tucked some hair behind her ear.

"You're beautiful."

She smiled at him before cupping his jaw and meeting his lips halfway. He moved his hand to her upper arm, absorbing the warmth of her smooth skin. Their kisses were consistent in terms of passion and care; with time, they added their tongues and that resulted in Clare scooting closer to Eli and wrapping both of her arms around his neck. He continued to kiss her, his hand going down the side of her body; it gave her goose bumps, but she did not mind.

At this point, she was certain that Eli was not going to turn her away; in fact, she was beginning to think that he was just as enthused about this as she was. He was kissing her with an intensity that had been absent since prom night and it was making her heart beat in an erratic rhythm. Caving in to the heat of the moment, Clare lied down on the bed and brought Eli with her; he hovered over her, his hand lingering on her waist as she rested her head on the pillows. She felt his free hand cup her neck while his thumb caressed her jaw; she shivered at the feeling of his slightly chilled fingers on her, but it was a welcoming sensation. Her left hand remained hooked around his neck while the fingers on her left hand tangled to his hair; she encouraged herself to deepen the kiss and get as close to Eli as possible without them going too far.

Her mind was so focused on the kiss that it startled her when she felt his hand glide over her hip. When his palm eventually slid away from the material of her nightgown to meet the skin of her exposed thigh, she gasped and broke the kiss.

"Sorry," he said, about to remove his hand.

"No, leave it there," she assured, feeling exhilarated. "You surprised me, that's all."

"I've been doing that a lot lately, haven't I?" he smirked.

Clare smiled before meeting his lips again; she hummed against his lips as he created a more passionate kiss between them. She felt his tongue caress hers while his hand stroked her thigh; his fingers were smoothing over her while his hand trekked up and down a small path so she would not get uncomfortable. For many more minutes, Eli and Clare did nothing but kiss and keep connected with each other through skin. They were finally grasping on to what they had been deprived of for so long: the touch and fervent kisses of their significant other. Needing to catch his breath, Eli eventually freed her lips and rested his forehead against hers.

"I don't even want to know how I lasted so long without this," he breathed.

"It was only six weeks," she giggled as she slid her hands over his shoulders and down his chest.

"_Way _too long," he told her, his lips then softly touching her delicate cheekbone. "You're so perfect."

"Am not," she retorted with bated breath. She felt Eli smile against her skin, causing her to feel even more self-conscious.

"Same old modest Clare," he laughed lightly.

She blushed and was soon consumed by bliss as Eli's lips began to move over her. He slid them from her cheek and then to her jaw; when he reached the pulse of her neck, Clare's eyes fluttered shut. He heard her breaths become longer and deeper, which told him that she was genuinely finding pleasure the moment they were sharing. Wanting to give her all the physical affection she deserved, Eli gave her neck the most zealous kisses possible. The effect of this was her arms falling limp at her sides from ecstasy. He took those hands in his own, intertwined their fingers together, and moved them until the backs of her hands were resting on either side of her head on the pillow. She leaned her head back farther into the pillows to grant him permission to explore more of her skin.

Eli received what she had been silently communicating to him and began kissing down her neck. He gave the crook of her neck a gentle bite, which caused her to let out a surprised gasp of desire. He kissed all across the right hemisphere of her collarbone before slowing down to lightly fondle his lips on her shoulder.

"Eli," she said with what sounded more like a moan than she intended. Her blush traveled all the way down to her chest. Eli's eyes were closed, therefore was unable to see her now red skin; she was pleased about this, but she felt it getting deeper as he used his hand to slide the strap off her shoulder and onto her upper arm. "Eli," she repeated, her voice more comprehensive this time.

"Yes?" he answered.

She did not speak immediately; instead, she smiled and put her hands on his shoulders before using all the strength to turn him on to his back. Once he was lying on his mattress, she threw one of her legs over his waist and straddled his hips before leaning down to cup his face in her hands. She smiled down at him before leaning down until their lips were half an inch away from each other's.

"This is for being my amazing boyfriend . . ."

She kissed his lips but she removed them slightly to get out her next phrase.

". . . My future husband . . ."

Once again, she met his lips and added passion to the kiss. She barely revoked her lips from his to utter the last five words of her statement.

". . . And the love of my life."

Eli smiled inwardly as he returned all of her kisses and placed his hands on her clad hips.

"I like you," he smiled at her.

"I like you more," she whispered to him before meeting his lips with another kiss. "Much, much more," she muttered.

"Nuh-uh," he told her against the kiss.

"Hu-hu," she retorted playfully.

"Nuh-uh," he repeated.

"Hu-hu."

Unable to resist, Eli slid his hands up her body until he his fingers were on either side of her body and his fingers began stroking her sides. This tickled Clare and she was not able to hold in her giggles for too long.

"Nuh-uh infinity," he finalized before plastering his lips over hers powerfully so she could not protest again. Their tongues battled for dominance as they moaned blissfully against the kiss. They only stopped to readjust their mouths and to take in air, but they only focused on the kiss otherwise.

For so long, they kept their kisses alive, holding on to each other all the while. They continued kissing until their lips were swollen and they were almost unable to breathe anymore. They continued anyway, wanting to gather as many of these moments as possible between now and Sunday evening.

Clare may have been adoring this instant with Eli, but after being underprivileged of intimacy for over a month, she needed to her hunger to be satisfied. She wanted to see Eli . . . feel him . . . run her lips over his skin . . . she wanted to be with him in the most sensual way possible without them going further than necessary.

Her hands began to travel down his body and kissed him all the while. She reached the bottom of torso and fingered the bottom of his shirt before pulling it slightly upwards to expose his lower abdomen.

"Wait, wait," he said softly, taking his lips from hers.

"What is it?" she asked, not comprehending why he was delaying this.

Eli took a regretful breath and removed his hands from her sides to get a soft hold around her wrists. He was panicked but still tried to keep his composure; his heart was racing from the heat of the moment, which caused him to be more on edge than usual. As soon as he was able to think clearly, he met Clare's eyes. The blue of her irises were masked with shock and discouragement. Culpability fell on to him, but he knew that he did not have choice but to speak about this.

"We should take this slow," he suggested. "You know, so we don't experience everything in one visit."

Clare was not offended even though it took a lot of her nerve to wear this nightdress and actually reach down to the hem of his shirt; she was merely too relieved that Eli was making this suggestion for a sincere reason instead of lack of desire. She was slightly letdown, but she did not want to this one roadblock ruin their night together; they already had one bitter moment that night and she would do all she could to avoid another.

"This coming from the guy who was almost touching my butt ten minutes ago?" she smirked with a raised eyebrow.

Understanding where she would find the irony in this, Eli smirked back and locked his arms around her.

"Are you okay?"

She smiled down at him, figuring that it would be best to convert all these yearnings into a less seductive yet just as powerful action. She released his shirt, moved her hand up his body, and she gently caressed Eli's cheek with her thumb before kissing his lips. Clare poured every need for him into this kiss while still managing to keep it sweet and tender. He reciprocated this, for he craved for Clare to touch him; but this could not happen now . . . he refused to let it.

Clare kept her lips against his for a few more seconds while her free hand rested on his clothed side. She soon separated their lips leaning up a bit to give him her answer.

"I am _way_ better than okay," she told him.

She then nestled her head on his chest, never letting the smile fade from her face. He smiled at her as he raked his digits through the ends of her hair, relieved that she was not hurt when he turned down her nonverbal offer. Clare closed her eyes, taking in the atmosphere and the warm hold her boyfriend had her in.

Eli watched her, wanting to engrave her peaceful state into his memory. It faded too fast for his liking while he was away, but this time he was determined to make this one last.

"I love you," he whispered to her after a few moments of silence.

"I love you too," she responded with a grin.

There was a consolation Eli had experienced every time he heard Clare say this to him or when she was the first to say it. Ever since his departure weeks before, he had a hidden dread that she would stop saying it to him or stop feeling it for him. They may have only been a month and a half along in this long-distance relationship, but the fact that they only had one serious complication thus far and that she still loved him gave him a bit more hope.

"Clare," he said softly.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"Let's stay together forever," he proposed.

"You got it," she agreed, not wanting to be with anyone else for the rest of her life.

()()

The following morning, Eli and Clare had a delightful breakfast with his parents and found it to be just as interesting as last night's dinner. Since this was the first and only time that he and Clare would be able to spend the whole day together, Eli told his parents that the two of them would be going out that day but would return that night for dinner and to spend quality time as family. Clare was pleased with this; every time Eli or his parents referred to her as a member of their family, she could not hold back a smile. It was flattering to her and the fact that CeCe and Bullfrog welcomed her with open arms made her feel a lot more comfortable with being with them and Eli for his last night in Toronto.

They were now sitting in the park that afternoon, enjoying a small picnic. It was not a traditional picnic by any means; in fact, the only reason they had declared it a picnic was because they were eating and sitting on a blanket. They picked up the food from a local fast food restaurant and were eating it as they sat under the September sun.

While they ate, the couple lied on their sides and propped themselves up on their elbows while their free hands either held food or made contact with each other. The two were going back and forth asking questions, which they usually tended to do whenever they wanted to talk but never had much to say. Many of these questions were lighthearted and fun, which caused them to smile nonstop.

"Are you afraid of heights?" Clare asked him as she popped her final fry into her mouth.

"Depends," he answered. "If it's like a Farris wheel, then I'll survive. Planes are a different story."

Clare tried not to laugh, considering he told her before that he wanted to travel and she doubted that he would do much of that unless he got over his acrophobia.

"First play you ever saw?"

"A school play Darcy was in," she answered. "She was ten and her class did a Christmas play about _A Christmas Carol_ and she was Mrs. Cratchit. Who was your least favorite teacher?"

"Mr. Kampar, grade six math teacher," he said without hesitation. "He was this creepy guy who seemed to have a habit of making his students feel like a bunch of idiots."

"That kind of reminds me of a teacher I had in grade seven. Mrs. Marble, social studies teacher."

"What was so bad about her?"

"She was strict one day, but sweet as a grandmother the next; the mood she was in affected the day we would have and there were of times when we had a lot of free time because she was too happy to teach."

"And I'm guessing she would bring the workload down hard on you guys when she was in a bitchy mood?"

"Basically," she said.

"Yikes," he commented before collecting the empty wrappers and putting them in the paper bag they came in and placing it behind him so it was out of sight, out of mind. "I know it's unlikely to happen, but I hope any kids I have someday don't have teachers like that."

"Same here," she acceded.

A small lopsided grin on his lips, Eli took a sip of his soda before moving it to the grass so there would be room for them to scoot closer to each other if they chose to.

"I know that it's a bit soon to talk about it, but . . . would you like kids someday? After we're married?"

Clare bit her lips; the idea of children was brought up in conversation a couple of times, but they were nothing more than a brief topic of conversation. They never really established any plans, for marriage and children usually went hand-in-hand and she did not believe that any of their suggestions had to be placed in stone. Now that Eli had spoken about having kids, she could clearly imagine the two of them starting their own family in the future.

"Eventually," she answered. "But I would only want to have your kids."

Eli grinned, grateful that Clare had said these words. He reached over to move some hair behind her ear and she smiled coyly at his touch. As she felt it, she felt a realization wash over her so fast that her happiness may have never existed.

She had started to think about how four and a half days did not seem like enough; it was cruel that these days went by in a flash while their time apart seemed to last forever. It was difficult to accept, but she did not have a choice; this was the way it was until she went to Ottawa, and she knew that it would be better to persevere than to dwell on the unfortunate.

"Are you okay?" he asked, perceiving her troubled eyes and her slightly pained face.

"Yeah," she answered quietly. "It's just that . . . it's going to be hard saying goodbye to you again tomorrow."

Eli slipped his hand under her shirt in a comforting, non-suggestive way; he smoothed his hand up and down her side in hopes that it would relax her obvious melancholy mind.

"Please don't be sad," he endeavored of her. "We should be spending the day enjoying the time we have together instead of focusing on the negative."

"I know," Clare said. "But it sucks that you've been gone for so long and you're only here for a few days."

"Hey," he whispered, looking at her eyes. "I'm not leaving until tomorrow evening."

Clare appreciated that Eli was trying to keep her thoughts positive, but it was next to impossible to elude the fact that they would be three hundred miles apart again in less than forty-eight hours. Knowing that she did not have a choice but to accept this, she sighed and scooted closer to her boyfriend.

"Then I guess I should give you as many of these as possible," she said softly before kissing him. She moved closer to him and put her hand on his shoulder as he glided his hand to the small of her back. They hummed against the kiss and readjusted their heads to kiss as much as they could without containing too much consistency. They both consumed the emotions this experience gave them, for it would certainly be a while before they would have another make-out session in the park.

Their oxygen supply began to run low and they were too eager for their lips to continue to bother taking in much air when they changed the positions of their heads. Surrendering to the breaths they had to take, they disjoined their mouths but kept their hand in the same places while they recovered. As soon as they were capable of normal breathing patterns, Clare removed her hand from his arm and smoothed it repeatedly over his sternum.

"You know, one of the things I missed most when you were away was the way you held me through the night," she confessed to him.

"Oh yeah?" he remarked.

"Mm-hmm," she mumbled. "There are times when I can't get to sleep because I keep thinking about those nights we had over the summer."

Eli smoothed his thumb over some skin on her spine empathetically. There were many times when he desired the same as Clare and it was unfortunate that this privilege was so scarce now.

"At least you have your little stuffed Eli in your room," he reminded, recalling the panda bear she had and how it was Clare's substitute for him while he was away. "It may not be as awesome as the real deal, but I think it'll work."

She laughed as she thought of letting the plush bear keep her company while Eli was gone. It may have been an absurd ritual, but she always laid the bear under the covers with her, she would lie to the left of it, and she would rest her head on its body so she could gain the sense of familiarity. This was a secret she would take to the grave, but that did not take away from the security it gave her after an exhausting day of school, work, and studying.

"True . . . but you're a better kisser than him."

"I would hope so."

Smiling, Clare placed a kiss on his lips before meeting his verdant eyes.

"That's one of the things I miss most."

"Me too," he agreed, never wanting to go more than a day without feeling her lips on his. "Imagine how it's going to be when you go to England. We're probably going be all over each other when you come back."

"Probably?" she repeated with a chuckle. He laughed in return, predicting that he and Clare would more than likely have many moments of passion and affection when she returned from England after three months of being away. He pulled her closer to him and she slid her hand to his upper arm as they looked at each other.

"I'd say that a very peaceful, romantic dinner will be in order when you get back," he told her.

"And . . . possibly a relaxing night together?" she mentioned, foreseeing that she would need to sleep off her jetlag when she was back home.

"If you wish," he said. "There are also a couple of other relaxing yet romantic ideas I have in mind."

"Can I hear them?" she asked as innocently as possible.

"I was thinking a night in my room, with candles and music, and then I can give you a nice massage."

She blushed at the idea, but she could not deny that it sounded inviting. She got pleasurable chills just thinking about a couple of days before at the abandoned church; the concept of eventually lying with him in the romantic setting of his room while his hands soothed her made her toes curl.

"That sounds amazing."

"So does that mean we have a date . . . seven or so months from now?"

"It sounds so far away when you say it like that," she noted.

"It just means we have something to look forward to."

"But, until then, we'll have other things to look forward to. Christmas break, weekends, my dad's wedding –."

"You're looking forward to your dad's wedding?" he repeated.

"He's happy about it, so I'm happy. Plus I'll be seeing you there," she added as she remembered how Eli agreed to be her date months before.

"That does give us something to look forward to."

Grateful that it would only be five weeks until she saw Eli again, Clare stopped her hand and kept it still on his breastbone.

"I can't wait."

()()

After they got back from the park, the two of them went to the movies, to their clearing and abandoned church, and then they went back to his house to spend time with CeCe and Bullfrog. The four of them spent a lot of the night joking with each other and playing a couple of games; CeCe said that this was her attempt to bring back the family game night that they used to have every Saturday night when Eli was a child. The men decided to humor her and go along with this while Clare genuinely saw the fun that could come out of this night.

They ordered Chinese for dinner and watched a movie in the living room; they spent most of the time talking, so the film soon became more of a background noise than anything. After they have had their fill of entertainment and food, the four of them decided to retire for the night. Clare was in Eli's room while he changed in the bathroom. Instead of wearing the nightdress again, Clare wore some comfortable blue pajamas; she crawled under his covers and lied on her side while she waited for her boyfriend.

A couple of minutes later, Eli came back in his room as he held the same clothes he wore that day in his hand. He saw Clare resting her head on his pillow, struggling to keep her eyes open. Grinning at her, he tossed his clothes onto his closed bag and turned out the light before walking to the bed.

"Getting tired there?" he asked as he slid in next to her.

"Chinese usually makes me tired," she explained, not bothering to mention that she had practically worn herself out from laughing too much that day.

He gave her his classic smile before kissing her head and sliding some hair out of her face.

"Then close your eyes and go to sleep," he instructed.

Clare would have fought it and tried to stay away to talk to Eli, but sleep sounded highly inviting and she was not sure if she would be able to keep her eyes open much longer. She shifted closer to Eli and laid her head over his heart; the pulse of it was a lullaby and the arms she was now being kept in made her comfortable. Within the minute, she was greeted into dreamland and Eli smiled at her sleeping form.

"Goodnight, Blue Eyes."

()()

Eli drove her to church the following morning and picked her up a few hours later. After lunch at the Dot and one final visit to their special place, they came back to spend a couple more hours with his parents. When that time was up, Eli knew he would have to start getting his stuff together. He wanted to leave at a decent hour so he would get back to Ottawa before it was really late. Clare went with him to his room since she had to gather the items she brought over this weekend as well.

They kept the fairly short packing process going for as long as they could by stealing kisses and sneaking behind each other to hold them for a minute. When Eli was almost done stuffing all his clothes and hygiene products into his bag, he took a moment to wrap his arms around Clare's waist while she folded her nightgown. He kissed behind her ear and down her neck while he kept her against him and she could not help but giggle at the sensation.

"Can't I just take you with me?" he muttered against her skin.

Clare chuckled, desperately wishing that he could.

"Where would I sleep?"

"In my dorm with me," he answered.

"And what would I do during the day?"

"Details," he sighed in exasperation.

She laughed lightly again, stopping when she had to whimper at the loss of his lips leaving her skin. She delicately laid her garment in her bag and she could feel Eli staring at it from over her shoulder.

"Any chance of me seeing that again someday soon?" he asked persuasively, swaying them side-to-side.

"Maybe . . . if you behave yourself," she warned him as she turned her head to have him in her sight.

"Don't I always?" he retorted frivolously, locking his eyes with hers.

She smiled at him before meeting his lips in a quick kiss.

"Then I'd say it's a possibility," she said flirtatiously.

He grinned at the tone of her voice and her rejoinder. Continuing to hold Clare, he took a swift glance over his room to see if there was anything he had forgotten to pack. He then caught sight of the _Spring Jam _shirt that was resting over the back of his desk chair. Recalling an idea he had suggested weeks before on Skype, he let go of Clare before walking over to retrieve the shirt.

"Here," he said picking it up and folding it. "So that way your panda can remind you a bit more of me."

Clare grinned as she accepted the shirt, already picturing how that bear would look once it was covering its plush body.

"Thanks," she said before setting it on top of her nightgown and then zipping up her bag. "Got everything?"

"I think so. You?"

She shrugged.

"If I don't, I'll just come by and get it later."

They faced each other, having a mutual understanding that it was almost that time to say their farewells for the second time.

"Want to just . . . say goodbye here so it's not awkward in front of my parents?" he asked, certain that Clare would be uncomfortable about CeCe and Bullfrog exchange heated kisses and embraces.

"Yeah," she assented while wishing that she did not have to say goodbye to him so soon.

Clare was looking down at the floor, but Eli was able to hear her breathing and holding back sobs. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her; she buried her head into his shoulder and put her arms around his torso as tears went down her cheeks and got trapped in his jacket.

"I had a great time this weekend," she heard him say.

"Me too," Clare agreed. "It just sucks that it's over already."

"I promise when I come back that we'll have another great one. And when you come up to Ottawa to visit we can have more special dates."

"I'd like that," she said, her smile slowly coming back. She met his eyes for a brief moment before bringing her lips to his. She was pleased that she and Eli were able to exchange this moment in private; she doubted if she would have been able to kiss him with the passion she was giving him if his parents were watching their every move.

"Damn," he sighed as the kiss came to an end. "I'm not sure how long I'll survive without seeing you this time."

"Let's just try to keep it under six weeks, okay?"

"Oh, we will," he said before meeting her for the final passionate kiss they would have until one of them decided to visit. Their tongues and lips danced to the music of their hearts as each of them held onto the other. Clare felt Eli's arms bring her closer to him as ran her fingers of her left hand through his hair.

They kept embracing each other, not wanting to let go just so he could stay there. But no matter how much they wanted him to remain in this spot, they knew that he had to go back to Ottawa and it would be for the best if they simply got the worst of it over with. They pulled apart and Clare looked at him through clouded eyes.

"You should get going," she reluctantly said to him.

"Yeah," he agreed inaudibly before letting go of her; it was only a second after she was out of his arms did he want to be holding her again. He put a strap of his bag over his shoulder before Clare took his hand and the two of them walked down the stairs. She, Eli, CeCe, and Bullfrog were soon outside and were standing next to Morty. Eli put his bag in the front seat before turning to Clare, who was doing her best to hold back her tears. Seeing her eyes and wanting to dry them for her, he took a couple of steps towards her before pulling her into another hug. She clung on to him, never wanting to let him go.

"I'll call you when I get there," he whispered in her ear.

She nodded, feeling a couple of tears travel down her cheeks; they were not as intense as the tears from when he first left, but the sensation she was experiencing currently was still too familiar for her.

"I love you," she said softly.

"I love you too."

He pulled back to give her a peck on the lips so she would not feel strange around his parents. He did not want this to be the final time their lips would make contact until a time in the future, but there was not another option. The couple soon let each other go and Eli stepped towards his parents.

Clare stood there while he exchanged his goodbyes with CeCe and Bullfrog. It was hard to not feel the sadness in the air because it was so heavy and emotional. They did not cry, but it was plain to see that the parents were still adjusting to the reality that their son would come and go over the next few years. As she observed the Goldsworthy family exchange their farewells, she took in many gulps of air to keep her tears under control.

"I love you guys," Clare heard him say after he had hugged both of his parents and bade them goodbye.

"Love you too," they chorused.

When Clare was positive that she would not be interrupting them, she moved closer to them until she was standing beside CeCe. Eli was slowly moving towards Morty, forcing a grin on his face. With a final wave, he climbed into the hearse and turned his key. He looked out the passenger window to see fresh teardrops descending Clare's face while his mother put a comforting arm around her shoulders; as glad as he was to see his mother and girlfriend being that close while Bullfrog faced them to give words of console, he saw that it was best to not be distracted by home any longer. He put his car in drive and began to travel down the road before he made the decision to not leave until later.

The trio outside his house watched him go, trying to accept the fact that Eli was gone again. Clare stood still, feeling numb but not overly depressed. She was sure that his parents would be able to relate to her because seeing Eli drive away from his home for a second time made them certain that there will be a third, fourth, fifth, and so on. His visit here made them see that their partings were not permanent and it was a matter of time until he met home again.

* * *

"_Don't speak, don't say a word_

_Just savoring"_

_~"Let It Ride" by Automatic Loveletter_

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Degrassi tomorrow! Review please!


	122. Rise Above This

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you supporters of this fic! You are the most awesome people of all that is awesome! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Ready? Okay! I don't own D-E-G-R-A-S-S-I! What does that spell? DEGRASSI!

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Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Two

Rise Above This 

"Hey, buddy!" Josh bellowed when his roommate entered their room. Eli grinned at him and Cathy, who was sitting at Josh's desk as he sat on his bed.

"Hey," he greeted them as he put his keys on his dresser before putting his bag on his mattress.

"How was your visit?"

"Too short," he answered, already missing home.

"Did have a good time with Clare?" Cathy asked.

"The best," he said before sitting on his bed.

"What did you guys do?"

"Went on a date, spent time together, and talked just like old times," he explained, not bothering to mention their fight or other private details.

"That's great," she smiled, pleased that her friend had a great weekend with the person he loved.

"What did you guys do while I was gone?" he asked them, although he was not completely interested because he was focusing on how much he wished that he was still in Toronto.

"We hung out, did homework, saw a movie, and went to a party," Cathy answered him.

Eli faced Josh and he nodded, not having anything else to add.

"Sounds like you guys had a good time."

"It was alright," Josh shrugged.

"Come on, Josh!" Cathy exclaimed. "You chugged half a keg!"

"Yeah, that was pretty awesome," he acknowledged, revoking his original statement.

"Well, I'm glad you guys had a great weekend. See you later," Eli said before standing up.

He heard Josh say "You just got here" as he exited the room, but did not bother turning back to give a reply. He walked down the hall and pulled his phone out of his pocket, remembering how he promised Clare that he would call her when he got to the university. The familiar pit had already formed in his stomach and he felt it getting deeper with every minute he was away from Toronto.

He took the elevator to the top floor of the residence before going down its hall and taking the staircase up to the roof. Students were not permitted out there because it was so high up and it was not secured, thus anyone could have fallen off it at any time. Eli, however, came out there many times before to escape the pressures of university and to focus on what was around him. He only got close to the edge for a second one time when he first went up there, but it was so high up that he kept close to the center from that point onward.

He was now standing on the roof and took in the scenery. He could see the Rideau Canal in one direction and the rest of the university in the other. If he looked far enough into the distance during the day, he would have been able to see the silhouettes of many buildings from the city of Ottawa; now that it was dark, the structures were shadows and the lights on them were yellow stars.

Eli leaned against the block of cement on the roof that connected the entrance to the staircase. He dialed Clare's number and waited patiently for her to answer; the phone only had to ring once when he was blessed with the beautiful music that was her voice.

"Hi," she greeted him.

"Hey," he replied. "Well, I'm here."

"That's good," she said, but she was pleased that he was safe and disheartened that he was there. "I guess we have to start readjusting again."

"I guess," he repeated, not fond of the idea but not having any choice in the matter.

"I already miss you."

"I miss you too.

"What are you up to?"

"Standing on the roof of the dorm. What about you?"

"Nothing," she answered. "Just sitting in my room and thinking of you."

"Sounds familiar," he responded.

"Are Cathy and Josh happy to see you again?"

"Yeah, but it's kind of weird that they are now the people I'll be seeing every day. I mean, it feels like I have a double life; I have a life here and a life back at home. It's strange."

"Sounds like it."

They were both silent for a minute as they allowed reality to set in; it was bizarre and painful, as though these last few days together were nothing more than a dream.

"This is how it is now then, hu?" Clare stated "We see each other, you go, you come back for a certain amount of time, then we're back to this?"

"Sucks, doesn't it?" he says.

Clare had to sandwich her tongue between her teeth to keep from crying out or letting her heart speak for her. She resented the fact this was their relationship now. It never registered to her until now just how tedious this would be and she found it unfair. Why should two people in love be separated by road? It cut her to the core, especially since this could have been avoided if they decided to change some plans; she suddenly regretted encouraging him to go to Ottawa, but all her reasons were so selfish and she would not confess them to him.

"At least it won't last forever," she said to keep herself optimistic for Eli.

"Just another ten months or so."

"Yeah," Clare choked out forcefully, not even bearing to imagine the months ahead. Her heart pounded uncomfortably at the thought and that's when she saw that she had to abandon this call as quickly as she could to save her mind from more reason for despair. "Um . . . babe, I think I need to call it a night."

"Tired?" he assumed.

"Yeah," she said, not completely lying. "I'm sorry I'm cutting this short."

"Don't worry. I talk to you soon then?"

"Yeah," she agreed, wishing that she would be able to interact with him in person instead of through technology. "Goodnight."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Clare hung up her phone and put it on her nightstand before lying down on her back and feeling the tears come down her face. They blurred her vision before falling out of the corners of her eyes. She understood a long time ago that this would become routine, but now she was starting to believe that it would not get any easier. One day Eli would be here, the next he would not be. He would stay with her for a few days and then be gone and they would not see each other for weeks.

Desperate for any type of comfort, she reached over for her panda bear and hugged it to her body. The _Spring Jam_ shirt Eli had given her that morning was now concealed its body and draped over its legs; it appeared that he was wearing a nightgown instead of a t-shirt, but that did not matter to Clare. The clothing had Eli's scent and she hoped that it would not fade; she would be able to see his face thanks to pictures and Skype, hear him because of technology, and now she had the privilege of smell because the cloth had trapped it. The other senses were to remain nonexistence until he was back in her presence when she would be able to touch his skin and hair and taste his kiss.

()()

Clare's disheartened mood leaked into the next morning and it was evident in her appearance. Unlike the last couple of days of last week, she did not wear any stunning attire nor did she do her hair or makeup in any special fashion. Randall, who had returned to the house yesterday for his week with Clare, took notice and automatically connected the dots together.

"Goodbyes are hard, sweetie," he told her as they drove to Degrassi. "But that's a part of a long-distance relationship."

"I know," she replied, not wanting to think of it.

Her father's words and the Degrassi hallways did not help her situation; they cruelly reminded her that Eli was not there anymore and she kept this thought in mind as she scowled at the back of the person who now inhabited his locker. She went to her own locker before going to her homeroom class, where Alli and K.C were waiting for her with . . .

Jenna?

"Hi Clare," she greeted, standing behind a sitting K.C with hands on his shoulders.

"Hi," she replied. "I'm guessing you guys had a good weekend."

"Thanks to you. We finally talked and . . ." He turned his head to Jenna, put one of his hands over hers, and smiled at her. ". . . Now we're giving us another try."

Clare grinned at them, relieved that her advice to K.C worked and that he was now happy with the mother of his child again.

"I'm glad."

"And how was your weekend with Eli?" Alli asked.

"Great," she told them, although she honestly did not want him to be mentioned.

"What did you guys do?" K.C asked.

The memories were too fresh and her pain was too strong to go into detail about her weekend. She could still feel his presence, but she was aware that it was nothing more than memories trying to cling to her.

"We just spent time together."

"And did you guys do anything special?" Jenna asked. Since they had not talked in a while, K.C had informed her of everything that had been happening with Clare – which Clare would have been grateful for if she had known about this.

"We just spent time together," she repeated.

"Are you alright?" Alli then asked, seeing how unenthused Clare truly was.

"I'm fine," she lied. "I'm just tired."

She then took her seat and faced away from them. She understood that dwelling on Eli's absence would not do any good for her state of mind, but he left less than twenty-four ago and her mind still needed time to adapt to him not being with her.

"Missing Eli?" Alli asked, taking her seat next to Clare.

"Is it that obvious?" Clare asked rhetorically, looking at the table instead of Alli.

Alli nodded and patted her friend's shoulder in comfort.

"Have you guys talked at all since he left?"

"Once," she answered. "And I'm not going to see him after school and we won't be spending time together any time soon."

Alli wished there was a way for Clare to not feel this way. She may have only felt this way because this was only Eli's first day back in Ottawa, but that is probably what made the situation so much harder to handle.

"He wouldn't want you to be sad," she told her, knowing that Eli would probably be saddened to see his girlfriend so miserable.

"I know. It just sucks that _this_ is how our lives are going to be until I go to Ottawa; and it's going to be even worse when I'm in England. It's so much to handle and . . ."

She let out a breath, feeling tears coming to her eyes but did not let them pass her lashes. Clare was terrified of all the thoughts that were in her mind but never had the courage to face; they fell on her so suddenly and the level of disgust she had with herself because of it was high. There was no point in denying their existence, however, for they would creep into reality eventually.

The relationship she and Eli now had could no longer be built on love alone. Yes, their love would be able to keep them together and get them through their hardships, but they could not keep it as their only foundation. If they were to be trapped in this malevolent cycle for a bit less than a year, then they would have to communicate more, learn to balance love and life, and find other resources to keep them going.

Clare loathed the fact that their entire relationship had to be rearranged in a way she did not anticipate. She could have never predicted the ache that came with it; she expected it to hurt, but she did not think it would have lasted as long as it was now.

"It's not fair," she eventually voiced. "We finally get everything figured out and everything is going perfectly, but then he leaves. And just when I am almost used to him being gone, he comes back and we have a great time, but then he leaves again and I'm all the way back to square one."

"You'll be in university with him soon enough," Alli attempted to soothe. "Graduation is not that far from now."

"But it's so hard being apart like this; and my mind is always thinking about how long it's going to be until we see each other again."

"Don't focus on it so much. I know you want to keep the relationship running smoothly, but thinking about how he's not here is not going to make him come back sooner or make this better."

"I know," Clare sighed. "It's just weird that I see him almost every day for two years and then he's not here anymore."

"That's why you need to distract yourself at times."

"How? I'm at school, at work, I'm doing homework or essays for England, or I'm talking to Eli; it's not like I have a lot of positivity in my mind."

"Look at the bigger picture. You have friends around you, you have your family, and you have things to look forward to. Think about a few of those things a bit more and you'll feel better."

"That's easier said than done," Clare stated. "It's not like I can just push Eli to the side."

"I'm not saying you have to do that. You just can't let yourself be held back all the time because he's not here."

Clare licked her top lip, knowing that it would probably be better if she did not keep wallowing in her loneliness. It would not make Eli come back any sooner and it would only make her more discouraged the more she kept thinking about it.

"You're right," Clare said, sitting up all the way and taking some breaths. "Eli's gone; this is the way it's going to have to be if we want our plans to work out. I have to learn to deal with that."

As she said these words, her heart felt heavy since she did not have a choice in this matter unless she wanted to swim in agony and yearning. Eli would not be here anymore to dry her tears, hold her or rub her back when she needed comfort, and he would not greet her or leave her with a kiss every day. She hated that she had to confront this, yet she knew it would be wiser to accept this and truly adjust instead of waiting around for him to return for a short-lived visit.

Clare put Eli to the back of her mind and made herself focus more on what was around her. For the rest of the homeroom, she talked to Alli, K.C, and Jenna. She kept the conversation going until first period started and she was astonished at how preoccupied her mind was and how little she thought of Eli during that time.

It was strange for Clare to be spending time with Jenna again. Neither of them encouraged words about anything that had occurred between them in the past, but it seemed that they had made a silent agreement to let it go. They conversed and caught up on the times they had over the past few years. Jenna told her about the baby and how he was growing more and more every day. Clare was pleased to hear that she was doing fine; she kept her promise to K.C and did not feel any resentment towards her and was friendly with her. It was nice for her to have another girl to talk to and listening to Jenna distracted her from her life until the topic of conversation came her way.

But Clare, in order to save herself from more longing, only told Jenna that everything was well and changed the subject as quickly as she could. Thankfully, Jenna had a lot to say and Clare kept grip on every word.

For the remainder of the morning, Clare was concentrating on her classes, talking to her friends, or taking notice of the world around her. She actually took into account how one of her teachers had a darker hair color in comparison to a couple of weeks ago; she was certain that the hair had been this new color not too long ago, but failed to recognize it due to her overwhelmed brain. She was surprised how she did not make the most common observations because of her strained mind and she vowed herself to start focusing more on the environment she was in at the time.

Her mind would stray to Eli on occasion, especially when lunch came around. Seeing Jenna laying her head on K.C's shoulder made her reflect back to the lunches she and Eli would have. Whether they ate outside or in the cafeteria, they would usually exchange kisses or hold hands for as long as possible while having conversations. She felt some jealousy seeing K.C and Jenna fondling over each other and wished for her boyfriend to be there with her. In order to pull herself away from these thoughts, she spent the majority of the period talking to Alli about subjects other than Eli or anything related to him.

Excluding the occasional thought of Eli and notices of K.C and Jenna, Clare believed that her school day would be absent of thoughts of relationships. It was slightly refreshing to not be thinking of everything that usually plagued her and to actually have a cheerful conversation with someone other than Eli. When the bell rang at the end of the day, she stopped by her locker for a brief moment before traveling down the hall. As she turned a corner, she was surprised to see Alli leaning her back against a wall near the stairs and Dave was standing in front of her.

She could only see the back of Dave's head, but she had the perfect view of Alli's face. She was smiling, her eyes shone, and she was guiding a strand of hair behind her ear with three slim fingers. Clare could not hear a word they were saying, but Alli's smile and enough to tell her that their conversation was pleasant.

Dave walked away seconds later and Clare saw Alli's lips saying "bye" before letting her head lean back against the wall and sighing. Clare removed herself from the fortress of lockers and walked towards Alli, who was still journeying through her daydream.

"Someone's love-struck," she observed. "I've never seen you that flirty around Dave."

"Oh," Alli said, getting off the wall and walking down the hall with Clare. "We're just friends."

Clare chuckled inwardly; the more the heard that phrase, the more clichéd it sounded to her.

"I didn't know you guys hung out; I've hardly seen you around him since you came back to Degrassi."

"Well, we've been spending a lot of time together because of that assignment for Chem and it kind of developed into a friendship from there."

"A very _cozy _friendship," Clare added.

"We're just becoming good friends," Alli attempted to explain.

"I don't know; you seemed pretty flirtatious to me."

Alli blushed, confirming Clare's suspicions.

"You like him."

"Maybe," Alli admitted, knowing that Clare was trustworthy and will be glad to listen to her. "He's funny and sweet . . . he's smart, too . . . and he's not seeing anyone . . ."

"Are you saying that you want him to ask you out?"

"I do . . . but . . . I don't know. He may not be interested in me anymore and I don't want to make anything awkward."

"Why don't you just ask him to go somewhere casual and not specify if it's a date a not? That way it's you making the first move and then he can determine if it's a date or not. If he does, he likes you; if not, he just wants to be friends."

"You really think that will work?"

"Absolutely," Clare answered. "Just ask him to the Dot this weekend and see what happens."

Alli exhaled heavily, extremely torn between taking the chance and leaving it be so she would not risk making herself look foolish for believing that they could have been more.

"Any chance of you working there on Saturday so you can come to my rescue if I start making an idiot of myself?" she hoped.

"Sorry. Final bridesmaid dress fittings for Dad's wedding are on Saturday."

The fact that Clare will not be there for moral support made Alli's stomach flip; she had not felt this nerve-wracked since she started getting feelings for Adam during summer and she did not want to be there by herself in case everything went badly with Dave.

"I'm not sure if I should go."

"Do you want to?"

"Yes, but the idea of it is making me nervous."

"You'll be fine; just be the Alli Dave knows and you won't have to worry about anything else."

"I hope that you're right. But first I have to ask him to the Dot and not be _completely_ obvious about everything," Alli added lightheartedly.

Clare chuckled at Alli's successful effort to change the tone of the conversation. The two girls walked out school, one of them having her romantic dilemma resolved while the other had one of her own developing.

()()

Clare went to K.C's apartment after school so they we could work on their essay. Since they had a lot to do, they worked nonstop on it. At five fifteen, she left in order to get to work on time. She got home from work and was finishing up some homework on her bed when her phone began to ring. She abandoned her work and reached for her phone before seeing that K.C was calling.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey," he replied. "I just wanted to ask you if you're still coming over tomorrow to work on the essay."

"Yeah, if you still want me to."

"Alright, my mom wanted to be sure."

"Okay," she said, preparing to bid him farewell when a thought struck her mind. "Hey, you're good friends with Dave, right?"

"Yeah," he answered.

"Has he said anything to you about liking anyone?"

"Um . . . no, he hasn't."

"Oh," Clare commented, crestfallen that Alli's theory was correct and Dave did not reciprocate her infatuation.

"Why? Does someone like him or something?"

"Uh . . . well . . ." she began, not quite sure how she was going to answer K.C's question without telling him the truth; she was certain that Alli did not want more people than necessary to know about her feelings for Dave.

"Should Eli be worried?" he spoke up, sensing her hesitation and interpreting it in what seemed to be for a logical reason.

"No!" Clare corrected. "No, I don't like Dave in that way."

"Then does someone else?"

"W-Well –."

"It's not Jenna, is it?" he asked almost frantically.

"No, it's Alli," she said before she could grasp her tongue.

"Oh . . ." he said in both relief and wonder. "That makes sense. I could actually see them working as a couple."

"Me too," she agreed, deciding that she might as well talk to him about this since the cat was out of the bag. "But if Dave doesn't like Alli, then it's never going to happen."

"He might like her and may not have bothered mentioning anything to anyone. I won't say that it will never happen."

"I just hope that they take it slow if they do decide to get it together."

"Why's that?"

"They hardly spoke to each other when she first got back and they just started interacting with each other last week," she began to explain. "I think they should go on a few dates before making anything official; they shouldn't jump right into anything."

"They won't," K.C said.

"But they might," Clare disputed, knowing that Alli was not always one to pace herself.

"Relax," K.C eased her. "They won't rush anything. If it's meant to be, they will get together in one way or another."

"I guess," Clare sighed, understanding that this was out of her control and that she could tell Alli to slow down.

"You know what would be interesting? If they do get together, maybe next time Eli visits we could all go on a triple date."

Clare chuckled amusingly at the idea, not being able to imagine the six of them at a restaurant or a movie together. She was never exactly one for group dates herself – especially since the last two she had been on were planned by Eli and they did not always have the desired results – and she could not picture him having the greatest time. He was still not K.C's biggest fan considering he despised him for hurting Clare all those years ago, and the only other person he would know other than her would be Alli. She would never force him to go because she was sure that he would have a miserable time, but it was still humorous to think about.

"If I can ever convince him to come along, we may just have to do that," she replied to K.C, hoping that Eli may actually agree to that if it became a possibility.

"You have to admit it would be interesting."

"Definitely," she agreed.

Before she could say anything else on the subject, she heard her phone beep, signaling her that she had another person trying to contact her. She checked the time and saw that it was nine thirty; there was only one person she could think of who would be trying to call her at this hour . . .

"Speak of the devil; I think Eli's trying to call me."

"Okay, I won't him waiting. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye."

Clare ended her call with K.C, expecting to see Eli calling her on the other line. The caller ID was actually absent of Eli's name, number, and picture. Instead, it was all Adam's. She smiled widely; she could not remember the last they talked, thus she was definitely ecstatic to see him contacting her now.

"Hey, Adam," she greeted enthusiastically.

"Hey," he replied with a chuckle. "Long time no talk."

"Seriously," she concurred. "I'm sorry I haven't called or anything lately. Things are so crazy here."

"Don't worry, I understand that."

"So what have you been up to? How's Trent University?"

"Well, I'm surviving, passing classes, I have a job, and I'm making some friends; it's not going too bad overall."

"That's great," she replied, still happy that she was hearing his voice. "I miss you, Adam."

"I miss you too. Actually, that's why I'm calling."

"Really?" she repeated, wondering where this could be going.

"Yeah," he started. "Eli told me a few days ago how he was at home for the weekend, and then I began to realize that I had not been in Toronto for two months. So, long story short, I'm coming home this weekend."

Clare put her hand over her mouth, preventing her from squealing. This was phenomenal news to her considering the day she had. Her boyfriend was here last weekend now one of her best friends would be coming home for this weekend.

"You're really coming back to Toronto?" Clare repeated.

"Yep, and I'll probably go up to Ottawa before Eli starts accusing me of favoring you over him," he added jokingly.

Clare laughed, overjoyed that she would be seeing Adam again soon. This shadowed over any of the negativity she experienced that day and she smiled. A sense of normalcy took place in her and she thanked God that Toronto would not feel as lonely this weekend.

"You just made my whole day," she said to him. "I can't wait to see you."

"Back at ya," he responded. "I should be there some time Friday afternoon once I'm done with work."

"That sounds good."

"Cool. Well, I just called to let you know that and now I have to get the rest of this godforsaken homework done."

"That makes two of us," she said, being reminded of the homework she had to do but was too delighted to think about. "I'll see you in a few days."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Clare hung up her put her phone to the side, joy still inside her. Tiredly yet positively, she finished her homework and kept thinking how life here would be a bit normal again for the second weekend in a row. By the time ten o'clock came around, she was exhausted and needed to sleep. She got ready for bed and was about to slide into her bed when she heard her message alert go off; she opened the text that Eli had sent to her and instantaneously felt letdown. It was another reminder that he was not home and he would not be for a long time.

_Hey beautiful. How was your day?_

Clare looked at the text and considered all her responses. She could tell him how it started out horribly because she missed him so much and how it eventually got better and then how Alli was in the middle of a romantic predicament. As much as she wanted to dedicate this time for Eli and tell him every detail of her day, she could not find herself able to type the words. There was the possibility of her getting into the rut she was in that morning by being reminded of his absence and she did not want to fall asleep with those thoughts in her head for two nights back-to-back. She was too afraid of meeting that feeling again and getting herself in to another cycle of waking up depressed and having to find a way to forget about it.

Clare stopped her thoughts, forbidding herself to fall victim to pain again. She did feel guilty that she was purposely overlooking Eli's text, but she needed her time to get back into routine before she could actually talk to him without being reacquainted with so much distress. Her eyes growing heavy, she put her phone to the side and decided to text Eli tomorrow night in order to have more time to cope. She got under the blankets, said her prayers, held her panda, and fell asleep with a clear mind.

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"_I'll mend myself before it gets me"_

_~"Rise Above This" by Seether_

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Yes, this was a filler and yes, my fillers tend to be unfulfilling. BETTER CHAPTERS WILL COME! They are just taking a while to get there.


	123. Don't Forget

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you all for your support and reviews! It makes me smile to see readers keep coming back to read more. I really appreciate your words of support. I'm sorry if some are starting to lose interest in this story because there isn't as much EClare interaction, but rest assured that it won't be that way for long; I'll actually be putting in more EClare drama/romance within the next two or three chapters.

Now read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . or Batman . . . hell, I don't even own the Joker!

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Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Three

Don't Forget

Adam's visit to Toronto, although brief, was quite enjoyable. He saw his family and a couple of friends again, making him content with life. He spent some time with Clare and they consumed the majority of their time talking to each other; he told her about his classes and Trent University and she told him about work, K.C and Jenna, and life at Degrassi.

Despite the laughs and smiles, there was a single instant that was not exactly pleasant for him. He and Clare were at the Dot on Saturday after she got done with fittings for her father's wedding; she was telling him how she would hardly be able to move in it when he saw a familiar face caught his eye. He saw Alli coming into the restaurant . . . with Dave Turner.

Adam met eyes with Alli and she froze in her tracks when she saw him. He tore his eyes from her and turned back to Clare, who was looking at him sympathetically. He was feeling queasy and he wished for nothing more than to drown in the remains of the coffee in his cup.

"Are you okay?" Clare asked him quietly as Dave and Alli took a seat at the opposite side of the Dot.

"How long have they been going out?"

"They're not."

"It looks like it."

"They're just two friends hanging out," Clare told him, intentionally excluding the detail that Alli actually had feelings for Dave.

The reality of this situation made Adam's heart as cold as ice. Alli was spending an afternoon with a guy and he suddenly felt as though his feelings – his existence – did not matter to her anymore.

"I can't believe she's on a date."

"She's not on a date. They are two people hanging out. It is not a date . . ."

()()

"It was date! I don't care what Clare says! It was a date!" he vented to Eli and Josh the following weekend. The three of them were sitting at a table in the campus restaurant where Cathy worked; Adam had kept to his plan to visit Ottawa and the three boys instantly meld together. Josh had been aware of Adam's unique situation and did not mind it at all, thus they all got along perfectly. They were waiting patiently for a waiter or waitress while Adam continued telling them about his weekend in Toronto.

"I thought you were over Alli," Eli told him.

"I am," Adam stated hurriedly. "I just didn't expect to see her for the first time in two months on a date."

"Why should that bother you if you're over her?" Josh asked.

"I don't know," Adam confessed with a shrug. "I just thought that she would tell me if she was interested in some other guy."

"Maybe she's not interested," Josh rationalized. "Maybe Clare was right and it wasn't a date."

Eli sat there, now seeing that he was the bearer of bad news. He turned his eyes down, trying to figure out a way to break this to his friend gently. There had to be a way to tell him without shattering his heart, but he did not know how. He was slightly surprised that Adam did not already know this information; then again, the only reason he knew was because he was trying to talk to Clare on Facerange and a status from Alli came up while he waited for his girlfriend to come online.

"Eli?" Adam said, noticing his distracted behavior. "Eli, what do you know?"

Eli sat there, wringing his hands together as he mused. He thought that maybe Adam should find out for himself, but it was probable that he would not find out until weeks down the road. It would not be fair to make him believe that there was nothing going on between Alli and Dave. Prepared for the most disappointed reaction from Adam, he pulled out his phone and connected to Facerange through it. He found the profile page he was looking for before reluctantly handing the device to Adam.

"Clare was wrong; it was a date."

Adam's heart fell as he read what was before his eyes. Alli was now in a relationship with Dave and, according to the screen, they had made it official a couple of days ago. His spirits dropped rapidly, discouraged that he was probably the last person to be aware of this information. He talked to Alli on the phone a couple of days before he returned to Toronto and she did not mention Dave in any way. How could they have been dating now?

"I'm sorry, man," Eli said sympathetically.

"It's fine," Adam assured forcefully, handing the phone back to Eli. "It's not the end of the world; I'm over her and we're just friends. I'm okay."

"You're telling me that you're completely fine with Alli going on dates with some other guy and calling him her boyfriend?" Josh clarified.

Adam clenched his fist at the idea of Alli being with someone while he was left in the dark. They may have broken up two months ago, but Adam still found it irksome that he was going to have to deal with her dating Dave every time they contacted each other.

"Ugh . . . maybe I'm not as over her as I thought," he admitted.

"So you're jealous of this Dave guy?" Josh concluded.

"Probably," he said. "And I miss her sometimes. I remember how we always used to talk and stuff over the summer; now it's like we're not even friends anymore."

"I thought you guys still talked," Eli said with a furrowed brow.

"We do, but it's not as often as we used to. I know that we're both busy and everything and we have lives, but . . . I just miss knowing I could talk to her."

"Does that mean you're missing Alli your friend or Alli your girlfriend?" Josh interrogated Adam.

"Both," he said. "I miss talking to her the most, but I also miss doing all the special things with her like holding her hand and kissing her and going on dates."

"You can always pick yourself back up and ask out another girl."

"It's not that easy for me," Adam informed him.

"Why not?" Josh asked.

"It just isn't," he restated, hating himself for always ending up in this scenario. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, annoyed at his lack of luck in love. "Why is it that I always end up in a slump after a breakup and it takes me forever to get back on my feet?"

"Because you care about the girls you date," Eli simplified. "The recovery process is different for every person; you just take a bit longer than others."

"Great," he growled. "Like I didn't have enough problems."

"There's nothing wrong with that," he assured him. "But give yourself a chance and don't be afraid when that one special girl comes around."

"I'll keep that in mind, but I doubt that any special girls will be heading my way any time soon."

"You never know," Josh said, his eyes wandering around the restaurant until they landed on a familiar person. "And speaking of special girls . . ."

"Hello boys," Cathy then greeted, menus in hand. "Sorry for your wait."

"It's fine," Josh reassured as she began to hand out the menus.

"Hi," she said to Adam, not recognizing his face.

"Hey," he replied.

"Cathy, this is Adam, my best friend from Toronto," Eli introduced.

"Nice to meet you," Adam said to her with a grin.

"Likewise," she replied. "What can I get you guys to drink?"

"Cola, please," Adam said.

"Same here," Eli spoke.

"I'll have a beer," Josh then put forward.

"Sorry Josh," Cathy said, knowing that she could not serve an eighteen-year-old alcohol.

"Come on," he complained.

"Sorry, but that's the way it is," she shrugged. "Do you want a cola too?"

"Sure," he accepted, having already learned a long time ago that he should not argue with Cathy.

"I'll give you guys a chance to decide what you want."

"Thanks," Josh said to her, trying not to sulk.

Rolling her eyes with a grin, she patted Josh's shoulder before walking away. Josh observed her as she walked away, a small grin on his face and a glowing light in his eye. Adam and Eli perceived Josh's expression and they both instantly knew what was going through his head. He turned back to the table when Cathy was out of sight and saw Eli and Adam giving him a look that read "we know what's going on."

"What?"

"Do you like her or not?" Eli then asked him.

"What?"

"You like Cathy, don't you?"

"That's crazy," he argued, now paying complete attention to the menu in attempt to block out the conversation.

"Dude, for weeks you have been looking at her like that and you never shut up about her."

"That kind of reminds me of how you used to act when you started liking Clare," Adam recalled.

"Exactly," Eli exclaimed.

"Shut up," Josh whispered harshly, not wanting Eli to get too loud. "Okay, maybe I like her a little."

"I knew it," Eli said triumphantly.

"You have a crush," Adam sang teasingly.

"Shhh," he hissed. "I don't want the entire campus to know. And it's not a crush; I just have feelings for her."

"And the difference is . . .?" Eli queried.

"Whatever you want to call it," Adam proceeded, "if you want to date her, ask her out."

"She won't be interested in me; she only sees me as a friend."

"Come on," Eli said. "She patted your shoulder; that must mean something."

"Not necessarily," Adam interjected. "I'm sorry, but a girl patting your shoulder could mean nothing. Clare does it to me; so unless she's secretly in love with me, she was only being nice and Cathy could have been doing the same."

"There you go," Josh said, knowing that Adam was most likely correct in this situation.

"Josh, the two of you hang out all the time; she spends more time in our room than she does in her own."

"Yeah, because of her roommate," he reminded.

"Most of the time her roommate may not even be there; she more than likely has a job or a social life, so it's not like she would spend every free second in that room."

"What are you trying to say?"

"You and Cathy hang out in our room for three hours a day; it is likely that the idea of being more than friends has crossed her mind."

"But she –."

"Guys, she's coming back," Adam warned them as they saw Cathy coming their way.

The two were instantly quiet when Cathy returned to their table, balancing a tray with their drinks.

"Here you go, guys," she announced, setting down all of the cups before putting the tray under her arm and pulling out her notebook from her apron pocket. "Ready to order?"

The trio ordered and Cathy took up their menus as she assured them that their food would arrive shortly. She gave them all a grin before traveling to the next table; Josh only half consciously noticed that he was wearing a smile of his own and he did not realize it until he saw his companions watching him yet again.

"Guys," Josh grumbled.

"Ask her on a date before some other guy comes in and sweeps her off her feet!" Eli encouraged, keeping his voice low.

"No way. Every girl I asked out since I've been here has turned me down; Cathy is no exception."

"You never know until you try," Eli said. "Ask her out if you like her that much."

"I'm not going to ask her out," Josh finalized. "I'll save myself from the rejection and continue admiring from afar."

"What if _she_ asks you out?"

"That will never happen. If she does, it would be because of a miracle; but I'm not getting my hopes up, so I'll survive."

"So you're going to be fine watching from the sidelines as she goes on dates with guys other than you?" Adam said, not wanting Josh to go through what he was currently experiencing.

"I won't enjoy it, but I can handle that better than being turned down."

Eli searched his mind for words of encouragement, but his thought process had been blocked by Josh's words. He did not want to succumb so he could give all the guidance possible, but he was certain he would face resistance every time. He reluctantly accepted defeat and leaned against the back of his chair, wishing that his friends were not having these predicaments with the opposite sex.

"Why the long faces?" Cathy asked when she returned with their food minutes later. "It looks like you all had your hearts ripped out."

"We're fine," Josh said, avoiding her eye.

"Okay, if you say so," she said, not believing him while she passed them their plates. "Let me know if you guys need anything else."

"Thanks," the three of them chorused as she walked away.

They began to eat, but none of them said a word; the atmosphere was tense and they could feel it. Josh focused on his food, but Cathy still danced through his mood. He detested that she was always in his head, yet the idea of her not being there made him feel incomplete. Needing to break his thoughts and have new troubles to concentrate on, he turned to his roommate.

"Your turn, Eli," he spoke.

"Huh?"

"Adam and I have both spilled about our loves lives –."

"– Or lack thereof," Adam voiced.

"– So now it's your turn. How have things been going with you and Clare?" Josh asked, recalling how his roommate had barely mentioned his girlfriend lately.

"Good . . . I think," Eli answered.

"You think?" he repeated.

"Yeah . . . I don't know," he sighed. He never wanted to admit it to himself, let alone two good friends of his, but they shared with him and he found it fair that he confided in them; they may even have some advice he could use. "It's just . . . ever since I got back here, we haven't been talking. I think we've only talked to each other three times since I left."

"Don't you guys still send those texts every morning and night to say that you love each other?" Adam inquired.

"Sometimes, but it's hardly anything more than that."

"You mean you guys haven't Skyped?"

"Not as much as we used to," Eli simplified. "I hear her voicemail more than her actual voice these days."

"That's weird," Josh stated. "You guys used to talk to each other at every moment possible."

"Maybe she's just busy," Adam attempted to reason. "She is working like crazy on her final essay for England and it's her senior year; plus her dad's wedding isn't too long from now."

"I know," Eli said, understanding that she had a lot on her plate and that she could not always have the time to talk to him. "But it feels weird that we aren't talking as much. I miss talking to her; I want to know that she's doing okay, and it doesn't really sit well with me that I have _no clue_ what's going on in her life."

"Maybe she's mad at you about something," Josh suggested.

"I don't know why she would be mad," he said. "There's been nothing for us to fight about and we both seemed fine when we last talked."

"Maybe she wants you to call her to see if you want to make your relationship work."

"Clare's not manipulative like that; and I called her the last few times."

"Then I don't know what to tell ya, buddy," Josh finished before paying attention to the burger in his hands.

Eli let out a breath, wishing there was a simple solution to this riddle. He turned to Adam in hope that he would have an answer . . . _any _answer.

"Was she okay when you went to Toronto last week?"

"She seemed the same to me," Adam shrugged.

"Did she say anything?"

"No," he responded; as he thought in retrospect to the weekend before, Clare seemed to be the same girl he remembered from a couple of months before, even though she was naturally less cheerfully because her boyfriend was not with her. "She misses you and is not as upbeat, but other than that she was fine."

"You don't think she's upset about something, do you?"

"Got me," Adam said. "You know her better than I do."

Eli began prodding his side dish with his fork, wishing he knew what suddenly caused her to cease almost all communication with him. He understood that she was busy, but she could not have been this busy all the time. Unless something had changed with her, she should have been able to talk to him at least a couple of more times a week . . .

"What changed? Why did she suddenly stop talking to me?" he asked, hoping in vain that would receive the answers. "I don't get it."

"You're overthinking," Adam told Eli. "She's just –."

"Busy?" he finished. "So you're telling me she has not a single free moment in almost two weeks?"

"Eli –."

"You know what this means, don't you? She's purposely avoiding me."

"Why would she avoid you?" Adam asked of him.

"I don't know, but it's not like she conveniently misses every call I make to her. Do you know how many times this past week that she actually _accepted _a call I made to her out of the fifteen times I tried? Two, and one of those was when I got back here and I told her I would call her to let her know I made it back okay. Every time after that was voicemail, except for Wednesday when we had a five minute talk and then she had to get off the phone."

"Stop freaking out."

"I just can't take it. We're in a long-distance relationship; communication is a big part of that. If we stop talking to each other, we'll start growing away from each other."

"You really think that's going to happen?" Josh said. He never met Clare personally, but Eli talked enough about her to have a firm understanding of their relationship and how each of them contributed to it while they shared their morals on everlasting love.

"I want to say that it won't, but . . . if she's ignoring my calls, texts, emails, and everything, I don't get how she expects this to work out."

Adam felt his stomach summersault to the ground, already predicting the worst. Never would he have expected Eli to have certain thoughts in his head and he hoped he was not having them now.

"What are you saying? Are you going to break up with her?"

"No!" Eli responded quickly, that course of action being the furthest from his mind. "I'm just worried that things are going to change even more when there's so much going on with us already; if she is avoiding me and we stop talking completely, I don't want to even think about what could happen."

"Maybe it's not that she's avoiding you; it could just be that you guys just don't call at the right moments," Josh proposed. "By the time she texts you, you might already be asleep; or she could be at a study group or something and she can't answer her phone. And, because you have homework and everything, maybe she did not call you back so she would not disturb you."

"That is actually a very solid theory," Adam remarked. "The last thing Clare would want is to interrupt your thought process and distract you from what you're working on."

"What if that's not it?" he debated, seeing the logic in their argument but was hardly satisfied by it.

"Stop stressing," Adam instructed. "Clare wouldn't want you worrying."

"And she apparently doesn't want me talking to her either," he mumbled.

None of them at the table wanted to admit it, but they had the gut feeling that Eli's theory was correct. He had been back in Ottawa for twelve days, so the fact that they only had two true conversations did not make any sense when they used to talk five days out of the week.

"It looks like all three of us are in some sort of romantic rut," Josh stated.

"That's how it looks," Eli agreed. "You're afraid of rejection, Adam feels dejected, and my girlfriend is probably ignoring my existence. This really sucks."

"You can say that again," Adam agreed.

"What are we going to do?"

"You can talk to your girlfriend," Josh reminded. "You actually have one to talk to."

"It's kind of hard to talk to her when she doesn't answer any calls."

"Touché," Josh surrendered.

"Maybe we should just wait and see what happens," Adam said. "Hopefully something will work itself out and we'll eventually either get over it or they will talk to us before we lose our minds."

Eli sighed, doubting that Clare would talk to him but he was unsure if there was anything else he could do. They all sat there and ate for a few seconds, figuring that this was the way their love lives were meant to be until fate played in their favor.

"No," Josh declared. "We're not just going to sit here and let these women mess with our hearts and heads."

"We're not?" Adam said with a raised eyebrow.

"No, we are not!" he continued. "You are going to call Alli and talk to her about this situation; if you two still want to be friends even though you've broken up, then you need to tell her that you can still talk about each other's love lives." He then turned to Eli, ready to give his advice to him. "You are going to find a way to talk to Clare; even if you have to keep calling her until she answers, you are going to talk to your bride-to-be and you two are going to have a nice conversation. And if she doesn't answer, you leave a long message about how you want the two of you to start talking again."

"And what are you going to do about Cathy?" Eli questioned.

"This," Josh declared, getting to his feet.

He moved three tables away from them to where Cathy was taking the orders of other customers. Adam looked over his shoulder as casually as possible while Eli leaned to one side to get a better view. Josh was not being loud, and therefore the boys had to keep their ears sharp to hear the conversation.

"Are you doing anything tomorrow?" he asked her directly.

"Josh, I'm working right now," she hissed at him.

"Yes or no," he persevered.

"No, now go," she ordered before turning back to the customers.

"Want to go to the movies tomorrow?"

"Seriously?" she growled at him.

"Get out of there, get out of there, get of there," Eli chanted under his breath so Josh would not annoy Cathy anymore.

"He's going to take it too far, isn't he?" Adam said.

"Without a doubt."

Cathy apologized to the customers before grabbing Josh's arm and leading him away from the table.

"What is your problem? I'm trying to work here!"

"I just wanted to ask you –."

"Anything you want to ask me can wait; I'm working. Go sit down with Eli and Adam, okay?"

"Cat, just two seconds –."

"Sit down, Josh!" she ordered him. "I have a job to do and the longer I talk to you, the more upset the manager will be; and I need this job, so don't this anymore!"

Without another word, she left Josh to stand there and she went back to the table. Letting out a breath, Josh wandered back to his chair; he resumed his seat next to Eli, who let out a low wolf whistle.

"She's going to kill me later," he confirmed. "There is no way in hell that she's going to want to go out with me now."

"Don't be ridiculous," Eli said. "You just did this one thing; it doesn't mean she'll never go out with you."

"Just wait for a better moment next time . . . like when she's not at work," Adam recommended.

"I'll remember that," Josh nodded, regretting what he had just done. "What should I do?"

"Let her chew you out so she releases her anger, tell her you're sorry and you'll never do it again, and then hope that she believes you," Eli guided.

"Got it," he noted. "Why must this stuff be so difficult?"

"Because it wouldn't be worth it if it wasn't," he responded. As he sat there, he began to think to the ways he could try getting in contact with Clare and asking her to let them get back on the path to talking almost every day again.

"But you're right," Adam said to Josh. "We're the ones with the problems and we shouldn't wait for them to notice; they'll probably never realize what's wrong with us if we keep quiet."

"Then I guess I should begin working on what I can say to Clare while Josh works on his apology speech for Cathy."

"And you," Josh said, pointing a finger in Adam's direction, "are going to have to tell Alli how you feel somehow. One way or another, we are going to fix all these problems."

"And let's just hope that we don't screw it up in any way," Adam added.

"And, if we do . . . let God have mercy on our souls."

* * *

"_But somewhere we went wrong_

_We were once so strong_

_Our love is like a song_

_You can't forget it"_

_~"Don't Forget" by Demi Lovato_

* * *

At first this was just a fun chapter I decided to put in after getting the idea of a guy's night sort of thing between Josh and Eli, but then I started thinking of things then BAM! This chapter came out of the creative womb of my head. Reviews!


	124. SOS

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you reviewers! You are all amazing and I really appreciate the support you all give! It means a lot that you guys are still reading. You guys are amazing! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Old MacDonald did not own Degrassi, E-I-E-I-O.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Four

S.O.S

Clare did miss Eli, but she avoided confronting it as much as she could in hopes that the less she thought about it, the less ache she would feel. Despite her desire to evade every ounce of pain possible, she did not neglect contacting him completely. Once a week, she called him and they would talk, but was cautious to not let the conversation wander into sensitive territory; they only talked about their days and she swiftly changed the subject whenever she became afraid that he would mention how much he missed her to save herself from the agony of missing him. There would be occasions when the conversations began to affect her, and that was when she hurriedly thought of an excuse to end the call. That pain was temporary, for she began working on her homework or essay for England the second they were done talking. Her focus would solely be on her work and that's all that would remain on her mind until she needed to sleep or somehow get distracted.

This routine actually benefitted Clare to a certain extent. She still heard from Eli but it was not often enough that she would long for him too much every single time they got in contact. Limiting their conversation definitely made her talks with him more special and they were light, so there was not a gaping hole in her heart whenever he bade farewell.

Eli, however, was still under the impression that the two of them were simply too busy or had unfortunate timing and he tried to distinguish any other negative reasons for their lack of communication. He still thought about the possibility that Clare was intentionally not answering his calls and it was steadily becoming more difficult to reject that theory. He was calling and texting her daily, yet he rarely got a response. They had a couple of conversations a week, but they never got personal. Whenever Eli desired to take the phone call down a more serious path, she would tell him that she had to stop talking before he had a chance to speak up. His mind was continuously racing, wondering if she still wanted him to be her boyfriend. He would toss and turn at night because of this, but always lost his nerve when he had the temptation to leave her a long voicemail when she did not answer her phone.

Eli now sat at his desk during the first Wednesday of October, crumpling his fifth piece of paper and tossing it to the side. He let out a combination between a growl and a sigh, hating how everything was playing out before his eyes. He could not even look forward to Randall and Alyson's wedding next Saturday because the negativity overruled the rest of his emotions. He wanted to put this behind him and have a good weekend with Clare; on the other hand, he was not sure how he would feel seeing her again after barely hearing her voice for the last month.

He decided at work that day that he would talk to Clare, but he was not going to talk to her about this through voicemail. Text or email was another option, but he doubted if she would even open his message; she did not reply to three-fourths of the texts he sent her. He pondered briefly on what else he could do before deciding to write her a letter; it was slightly out of the ordinary and he was sure that she would not avoid it even though there were not any guarantees.

As brilliant as his idea seemed in his head, it was not that easy to follow through with. The words would not click and he could not pinpoint his emotions long enough to transfer them to paper. He would erase and rewrite, but he always gave up and started again once his paper was littered with eraser shavings and stains.

"Hey," Cathy greeted, stepping into the room.

"Hey," Eli replied.

"Where's Josh?" she asked, setting her bag down and sitting on Eli's bed.

"Probably still at work," he said with a shrug.

"Alright," she said indifferently.

After their fiasco at the restaurant two weeks ago, Josh had apologized to Cathy about bothering her while she was at work; she accepted, but he did not attempt to ask her out again until he was certain that she had some feelings for him. Eli was envious that Josh seemed to have a little relief from his conflict with love while he was still battling his. He had not heard from Adam about his situation with Alli, so Eli hoped that no news was good news in that case; whether that was the case or not, he hoped that Adam was no longer struggling with romantic dilemma.

"What are you up to?" Eli asked, writing the heading to his sixth letter to Clare.

"Getting ready to study for a test," she replied.

"Well, don't let me distract you."

"Feel free to interrupt anytime," she assured him, not really wanting to focus on history and was dying for her focus to be disturbed.

Eli turned his attention back to his letter, desperate for the thoughts in his heart to morph into words so he could express them to Clare. His pencil was flying across the paper for the first paragraph, but when he got to the second and started telling her how he felt, he began to get annoyed with how he was unable to execute his feelings. He furiously erased his words and rewrote, only to erase them again. He scribbled more words, erased them, scribbled more, and crossed them out. By the time he was finished with his second paragraph, he looked at the paper and it appeared that half of his paper was gray. Eli then snatched up the letter and created a ball out of it, disgusted that he had met the one form of writing he could not complete.

"Having problems with some homework there?" she assumed, seeing him discarding the paper.

"I wish," he groaned. "Compared what I'm doing now, Geology sounds like a piece of cake."

Cathy furrowed her brow, never hearing Eli refer to homework as "a piece of cake".

"Then what are you doing that's stressing you out?"

Eli let out a breath, needing to talk to someone about this and hoping that someone from the opposite gender would be able help.

"I'm trying to write a letter to Clare."

"Aww, that's so sweet," she gushed.

"Not really," he corrected. "It's not a romantic gesture; I'm writing it so I can talk to her."

"Oh," she said; Josh had informed her of how Eli and Clare had not been in consistent contact lately, but she thought that they would have resolved this issue by now.

"It's so frustrating!" he vented to her. "I can talk to her just fine when we're face-to-face, but writing her a letter? Forget it!"

"Eli, you're getting yourself worked up," she said. "Maybe that's your problem here."

"I know," he groaned. "It's just hard to write to her when I have so much on my mind and I want to tell her so much, but I don't know how to put it into words without getting into a fight."

"Then just let it come and write it instead of overthinking. Stop thinking of the _how _and focus more on the _what_."

"And how do you suppose I do that?" he said, turning his chair in her direction and crossing his arms.

"Don't think of anything. Write what you're feeling and, when you're done with that, revise it until you're satisfied."

"That probably won't happen. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to writing."

"You're seeing this too much like an assignment; this is just a personal letter you are writing to your girlfriend, not a professor. Stop thinking like a student and think like the romantic you are."

Eli never took notice of this contrast in personality until Cathy had brought it to his attention. His writing was more profound and he was providing more support for his theses. It was definite that he had been in an academic frame of mind as opposed to how he wrote as himself. To reverse this, he would have to tear down the barriers and reconnect with the way he always wrote notes to Clare.

"Hu . . . I think I can do that."

"And be nice about it," she interjected. "Jumping down her throat won't do any good."

"Got it," Eli noted before writing _Dear Clare_ for the seventh time.

Taking a breath, he put his pencil to the paper and began to write again. He did not bother filtering his words and allowed his heart do the writing for him. Ten minutes later, he had filled out the whole paper, only erasing when he needed to make a miniscule correction. He wrote and did not stop until he was satisfied and had transferred all his feelings to the lines in front of him.

"And . . . done," Eli declared as he put down his pencil. He skimmed over the finished product before turning in his seat to Cathy. "Mind if I read it to you so I know it sounds okay?"

"Shoot," she permitted as she tossed her history textbook to the side.

"Okay . . .

"_Dear Clare,_

_"I know this is a bit out of the blue, but I thought that maybe this was the best way to talk to you right now –._"

"Stop!" Cathy interrupted. "You're making it sound like she never talks to you."

"That's the theme of the letter," he reminded her.

"But don't be so harsh in the first sentence; remember, she could truly be busy and you're just assuming she's avoiding you."

Still standing by his belief but not wanting to cross any lines in case he was wrong, Eli turned back to his desk and erased the first sentence and replaced it with a new one.

"Round two . . .

"_Dear Clare,_

_"I know I've never written you a real letter before, but maybe it's time I write you one. It's been a while since we had this kind of communication, so I hope you don't mind me sending you this and that you read every word of it._

_"Let me start off by saying that I miss you so much, and that's one of the main reasons I'm writing this to you. I miss us talking to each other and it seems like we have not talked in a long time. When we do talk, it's like all we talk about is school and nothing else. Don't get me wrong, I love hearing about your days at Degrassi, but I want to hear more about your day and how you're doing. _

_"I know this is a bit harsh to say, but it feels like you're intentionally not answering my calls or replying to my texts. So many times have I called you and it is very rare that you pick up these days. I'm sorry if that's not the case, but that is what it feels like to me. Maybe I'm paranoid and I'm sorry if I've upset you. This is just how I feel since we used to talk every possible minute and now there is hardly anything shared between us._

_"Please understand that I am not trying to be coldhearted in any way. I just wanted to let you know how I feel since we promised to be honest with each other and I would like for us to talk more again so we can do that. There is a lot I wish to tell you and I just want us to talk more again. Please call me soon. I miss you and I hope this does not change anything between us._

_"All my love,_

_"Your Eli _

"What do you think?" he asked Cathy.

"Reasonable yet sweet; direct but not hostile," Cathy reviewed. "I like it."

"Do you think she'll understand?" he asked, feeling more confident in his letter now that he had a second opinion.

"Definitely," Cathy pacified. "Just send it and you two will have this sorted out in not time."

Eli let out a breath in relief with a grin on his face, certain that this whole mess would soon be resolved.

"Good," he grinned as he turned back on his desk. "Now all I need to do is send this and hope that it gets there before next Saturday."

"Next Saturday?"

"Yeah," he said, carefully inserting the letter into an envelope. "Her dad's wedding is next Saturday and I think it would be best if we get this sorted out beforehand."

Cathy furrowed her brow before pulling a planner out of her bag and turning to the date Eli was referring to.

"You mean the thirteenth of October?"

"Yeah," he answered, writing Clare's address on the envelope.

Cathy gulped down a lump in her throat, aware that she would be putting Eli in a realm of panic.

"Uh . . . Eli . . . you know how that author from Alberta is coming to give a lecture soon?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Well . . . in this case, soon means next Saturday."

Eli stopped writing and snapped his head to Cathy.

"What?"

"Yeah, he's coming on October thirteenth."

Eli's eye widened, his heart dropping as his stomach churned.

"Are you messing with me?"

"I wish I was," she said sympathetically, scooting to the end of the bed before handing him the planner. Eli took it and his eyes jumped straight to the thirteenth of October; the note on that date read _Lecture (noon - Arts building)_.

"I-I thought it wasn't until _November_ thirteenth," he stated.

"No, it's October," she said, wishing she could stop giving him bad news.

"Oh no," Eli bellowed, giving Cathy her planner back before snatching his bag off the floor. "No, no, no, no."

He frantically began digging through his bag; within seconds he was pulling a flyer from the bag's contents and he hastily began smoothing out the creases it had. When the paper was readable, he found the date for the event and any hope he had for a relief went up in smoke.

"Oh my God," he moaned. "You have got to be kidding me."

His heart hammering, he stood on his feet and began to pace the room. He rubbed his hands together just so it would give them something to do; his mind was too busy contemplating on the complication in front of him to think of a solution, but he was already aware that he had to abandon one plan on his agenda to experience another.

"What am I going to do? What am I going to do?"

"First you need to calm down," she instructed.

"I can't calm down!"

"You're not going to figure anything out while you're panicking. Now chill!"

Seeing that he was not going to have her cooperation until he heeded her advice, Eli took a deep breath through his nose before exhaling through his mouth.

"I can't tell her I'm not going to the wedding," he affirmed. "We already have enough problems; we don't need another on our plate."

"Are you seriously thinking about skipping the lecture?"

"Maybe," he answered. "Look, Clare is not exactly fond of the woman her dad's marrying and she's going to need all the support she could get."

He was truly stuck in this trap that he had accidentally stepped into and now he had to find his way out . . . which was definitely easier said than done.

"What should I do? I can't be the worst boyfriend ever and not be at the wedding, but I will probably never have another opportunity to sit in on a lecture by an author!"

"I'm sure Clare will understand."

"But I already told her I would go! I will never get rid of the guilt if I bail!"

"Then go to the wedding."

"But the lecture could give me knowledge and guide me to my career; which means that it will help with my future, and that could help Clare and mine's future!"

He sat in his chair again, leaned back, covered his hands with his face, and groaned.

"What am I going to do?"

Seeing that her friend was in desperate need for guidance, Cathy began to organize her mind and help him.

"Let's think about this. Why do you want to go to the wedding?"

"Because Clare invited me and I want to be there for her," he said as he removed his hands from his face and turned to Cathy.

"Anything else?"

"I want to be there out of support for her dad."

"But if none of them were involved, would you want to go to the wedding?"

"I-I don't . . . I mean I would, but . . . no, I wouldn't. But they are going to be there and I want to see my girlfriend."

"Remember that's she's going to be on her feet a lot that day; she's in the ceremony, there's going to be relatives she'll have to visit, and she'll be seeing people from her new stepmom's side of the family. You probably won't see her as much as you think."

Eli rolled his lips, comprehending that this was definitely a possibility. He predicted that the twelfth would also be a busy day for her because she would be helping or be attending a rehearsal dinner. He would be leaving Sunday and she would probably be tired after church, thus leaving them with very little time for each other.

"Good point."

"What's more important to you: the wedding or the lecture?"

He knew that he should say the wedding, but he had to be honest with himself in order to make a decision.

"The lecture," he answered.

"There you go," Cathy declared.

Even though he was relieved he had finally made a choice, Eli felt ashamed for potentially abandoning Clare. He hung his head, certain that he would have to call and tell her that he would not be there.

"She's going to hate me."

"Don't think that," she advised him. "She'll be fine."

He was not convinced; he had to hear those words from Clare, but he understood how he would have to tell her the news to have a chance of her saying them.

"I have to call her and tell her I can't go."

"What if she doesn't answer?"

"I'll keep calling until she does," he said, pulling out his phone and dialing her number.

He stood at his window, his elbows resting on the sill as his eyes scanned the horizon and he put the phone to his ear. He prayed to any possible deity that existed that she would answer his call and he would actually be able to explain the situation to her.

"Hello," she said after the second tone.

"Hey babe," he greeted, relieved that she answered him.

"Hi," she replied. "I'm sorry, but I can't talk too long; we're taking care of some wedding details right now."

"This will only take a minute," he told her, seeing that he would not be able to ease into this as he anticipated. "Um . . . Clare . . . I'm not quite sure how to tell you this –."

"Spit it out, Eli," she encouraged him.

"I'm really, really sorry but I can't come to the wedding on Saturday."

He clenched his eyes shut and prepared for her reaction, hoping that she would not be too upset or disappointed.

"What?" Clare then cried.

"I'm really sorry. There's this author coming in to give a lecture and I thought it was in November but I got the month wrong; I would not even consider going if it wasn't a big deal, but this may not happy again for some time and . . ."

He let out a breath, cursing himself for his behavior; he was letting down Clare on what would not doubt be a difficult day for her. Aggravated for even considering staying in Ottawa when he swore to come back whenever he could no matter what, he inhaled and changed the course of the conversation.

"Forget it. I already promised you that I would come to the wedding and it wouldn't be fair if I backed out now and –."

"No," Clare interrupted him. "You go to the lecture."

"Clare, I –."

"I know you would be here if you could; it's okay if you can't come."

"I don't want to bail on you and not have anyone there with you."

"Eli, it's fine," she assured him. "I'll just bring a friend or I'll see if Adam can come down."

Feeling true guilt and wishing that he could have been able to be cloned somehow, Eli let out a breath in hope that she was just not saying this without being truthful about it.

"I promise to find a way to make this up to you."

"No need. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Because I know I said I would be there and –."

"These things happen. At least now you won't have to see me in the ugly dress I have to wear," she chuckled lightly.

Eli tried to laugh to brighten the atmosphere only to feel the same as he felt an hour ago.

"I'm sure you'll look great in it," he said.

"That's because you haven't seen me in it."

"Either way, I still want to see you."

"You will soon," she eased him.

"I'm actually heading back Saturday for Thanksgiving. Any chance of us meeting up?"

"Mom and I are leaving early that morning to visit some relatives in Brantford. When will you be going back?"

"Monday night," he answered.

"Same here; guess we won't be spending Thanksgiving together."

"Great," he huffed sarcastically.

"We'll see each other soon, Eli."

"I hope so."

"We . . . one minute . . ."

For the next few seconds, Eli only heard voices in the background but could hardly distinguish who was speaking or what they were saying.

"I'm sorry," she said when she was able to speak to him again, "but I need to get off now before Alyson goes nuts on me."

"Alright," he accepted, her departure only affecting his attitude for the worst.

"I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Okay," he accepted.

"I love you."

"Love you too."

He then ended the call before putting his phone back on the desk and walking towards his bed. He sat beside Cathy before scooting back towards the wall until he was resting against it.

"What happened?" Cathy asked.

Eli let out an aggravated breath before rubbing his eyes.

"I can't go to the wedding and I'm not going to be able to see her over Thanksgiving." "Is she mad at you?"

"No, she understands and is fine with it; but, yet again, we're going to be apart for more than six weeks. And that probably means that I will probably go a few more weeks without talking to her."

Fuming at his misfortune, Eli gave his mattress one pound with his fist in effort to release his anger.

"I hate this long-distance relationship," he spoke bluntly. "I love Clare, but this is pushing me to the edge."

"You've only been here for a couple of months; you two still need to adjust."

"Adjust," he repeated. "That is all Clare and I have been trying to do. _Adjust_. And then _readjust_. No matter how many times we say it's going to take time, I know it won't; it's going to be this same damn routine over and over again."

"You guys must have known that this was going to happen every now and then."

"No, we didn't!" Eli exclaimed. "We thought this would be easier than it is!"

"I thought you two wanted to give this a try to see if it would make your relationship stronger," she said, recalling one of the many tales of Clare that Eli had told her.

"That was when I thought this would work; now it's causing a rift between us. How are we going to make it through the next few months if we can't handle it for this long?"

"You two just need to get on the same page; you have to find a routine or something that works for both of you and go with that."

"How is that going to happen if she does not talk to me?"

"Send her the letter and she'll know," Cathy said. "Once she sees that, she'll understand and –."

"Will she understand?" he snapped. "I thought she knew by now that changing things only causes problems!"

"Maybe you're wrong and she is just too busy to talk."

"I don't know what to believe! She doesn't talk, so I don't know! She could be busy, and I want that to be the reason she isn't answering me, but I doubt it. Three and a half weeks this has been going on and she hasn't even asked me if I'm doing okay; she always used to ask that. We were so close to having everything figured out, but then I visit and it all goes up in flames. Now it feels likes Clare and I are . . . drifting apart and she doesn't even see it."

"She loves you, Eli. She probably has a good reason for not taking your calls and everything. "

"She could be trying to think of a gentle way to break up with me," he told her, his mouth doing all the talking instead of his brain.

"You know that's not the case. You just told her you loved her too and –."

"Cat, you don't know what this is like! My relationship with Clare is holding on by a thread and I honestly don't know what could be going on in her head right now! It is a strong possibility!"

Tears pricked his eyes, but he hurriedly forced them to retreat; Clare was the only girl he had recently shed tears in front of and he was not comfortable doing in front of a person he had met a mere two months ago. He regained his composure, yet he did not do anything to enhance his mood.

"I miss her so much and I love her . . . I'm just scared that this is the beginning of the end."

Cathy sat there and listened to Eli, her heart growing cold for him. She had never seen him so distraught before, which was strange since she usually saw him as the person who would always make someone smile during a bad day.

"Eli, you have to talk to her," she advised. "Even if you have to skip the lecture and go to the wedding, you and Clare need to talk."

"That's what I've been trying to do; that's why I wrote the letter."

"No, this isn't a conversation you can have with a letter or over the phone; you two have to talk about this face-to-face."

That was had to be done and Eli did not see a reason to fight against it. It would have been easier and less painful for him to send the letter and hope for the best when she eventually responded to him, but he knew in his heart that doing so would not be the best decision. He and Clare needed to talk; if it was over Skype, phone, or if they had to do it in person, they had to speak to solve this.

"You're right," Eli assented, standing up and walking to his desk. He took the letter in his hands before tearing it down the middle, ripping it in half.

"Does that mean you're going to the wedding?"

"No," he said, shredding the halves into many pieces. "Going to the lecture will help me and I need all the knowledge I can get. It's also likely that we'll get into a fight and she doesn't need that when she sees her dad getting remarried. But we'll eventually find the right time to talk this out."

He tossed the scraps of paper in his wastebasket before sitting on the edge of his bed again and turning his eyes down, looking at the jacket sleeves that covered his arms. He may have had an emptier mind, but his feelings still lingered; they played with his heart and made his feelings morph in to these emotions of shame and dread. He kept silent, no longer wanting to trouble Cathy with his predicaments. But he tried not to pay mind to the emotions he was feeling; dwelling on these feelings would cause him distress and that was something he had evade unless he wanted to risk throwing himself into a situation he could not get out of . . .

* * *

"_Where are those happy days?_

_They seem so hard to find _

_I tried to reach for you_

_But you have closed your mind"_

_~"S.O.S" by ABBA_

* * *

Shout out to perfectlybroken66 for the assistance with Canadian Thanksgiving.

I just wanted to say that I work really, really, _really _hard on this fic and the fact that you guys have been giving me feedback means the world to me! It really lifts my spirits and encourages me to keep up with the consistent updates. I'm truly thankful to you reviewers!

Review!


	125. À Tout le Monde

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you for your reviews! And, to answer your question Donisha Frost, I'm a half-American half-Brit who lives in the US, although I do wish to visit/live in Canada someday.

This chapter is dedicated to BlackRabbit550 for being incredibly awesome in every way and for posting reviews that always encourage me to keep updating. You rock, Bubba!

Okay, posting this chapter and then posting the next two chapters as soon as I can! I'm so excited to put them up! Alas, I must post this first. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Through wind and rain I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Five

À Tout le Monde

Clare stood in one of the bathrooms of the church on Saturday, October thirteenth; she was alone in there, which allowed her to have a moment to herself before she had to get in position for the wedding. The bathroom may not have been her first choice of escape, but there was so much chaos going on around the church that this was the only location with peace and quiet. Her reflection was staring at her in the mirror, and she wished that she could read it so she could describe her emotions. She had been expecting this day for months, but the weight of the situation had only just begun to settle in; she honestly thought that she was prepared for this day and now she was certain that she was merely kidding herself.

It took all her willpower to get out of bed that morning and get ready for this occasion. She was pleased that her father would be marrying someone he loved – despite her opinion of the woman – but she knew that this was the end of yet another chapter in her life, and she was not completely thrilled about it. All of Randall's belongings were out of the house and now resided at his _and Alyson's _apartment. He would never again refer to Clare's home as his home; she would never again affect where his home would be . . . only Alyson had that power now.

She then felt tears come to her eyes and she hastily reached for the paper towel next to the sinks. She dabbed her eyes, being cautious not to smudge or smear any of her eye makeup. Taking some breaths, she stilled her tears before throwing away the first blemished tissue-related item of the day. While she was examining her appearance in the mirror to check for any evidence of tears, the door creaked open behind her and she could to see her mother entering the restroom.

"There you are," Helen said as she walked towards Clare, who turned away from the mirror with a smile on her face. "Honey, you look beautiful."

"I look like a fish," Clare stated. The dress was a formal garden green and the strapless neckline to the midriff was covered in ruffles. The skirt went down her legs to form a mermaid style silhouette at her feet, covering the matching heels she was wearing.

"You still look beautiful."

Clare smiled, not believing her mother in the slightest but appreciating the compliment nonetheless. The smile soon vanished from her face as she remembered the reason she was wearing this dress and how she was trying not to appear affected by it in front of Helen.

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

"Y-Yeah," Clare lied. "I'm just thinking."

"Are you sure?" she asked, gently guiding Clare's hair behind her shoulder. "You haven't been yourself all day."

Clare sighed, knowing that her mom was looking right through her.

"It's weird," she admitted, "seeing Dad getting married to someone else. You two were together a couple of years ago and now he's going to be someone else's husband; it doesn't feel right."

"Oh Clare," Helen said, watching as tears came to Clare's eyes. "I know it's strange, but your dad's happy with Alyson and that's what's important."

"I get that and I know that I should be happy for him right now but I'm not. The divorce was not that long ago and then he started dating her and now he's getting married; I just don't understand how you can be with one person for so long and then just . . . move on."

Clare felt a teardrop fall out of her eye and she bent her head down so it would land onto the tiled floor. Her body shook with sobs, hating that she was so miserable on this day that was supposed to be about love. She felt her mother's comforting hand on her shoulder and she instinctively raised her head to meet Helen's eyes.

"Are you worried that this will happen to you and Eli? You two will break up and then he'll move on too fast?"

"I've actually been trying my best not to even consider that," she admitted. "I just . . . I want things to go back before everything go complicated. Before Eli left, before Adam left, before Dad met Alyson; I just want to be back in grade eleven when everything was easier."

"You mean when Kate was around?" Helen stated, predicting that Clare would eat her words at this reminder.

Clare let out a breath, wishing to recall a time when all parts of her life were not complex and everything seemed to exist in perfect harmony. To her dismay, there always did seem to be conflicts that existed around her even if they briefly hid in the shadows.

"I just want all the people I care about in one place and for all of us to be happy somehow."

"It will be like that eventually," Helen promised her daughter. "It may take a while and it may not be easy getting there, but everything will work itself out somehow."

As much as Clare wanted to believe that, she doubted that it would happen any time soon. It would take her some time to accept that Alyson would now be a permanent member of her family, Eli and Adam would not be back for a while, Darcy could not be back for the longest time, and there was no way to foresee how her heart would feel in the future. All that was definite at this moment was that she was either literally or metaphorically away from many of her loved ones.

"It's almost time," Helen informed, looking down at her watch and then lifting her head again to face Clare. "Are you ready?"

Clare shrugged a shoulder before saying, "I don't really have choice, do I?"

"Don't worry, it will be over before you know it," Helen reassured her.

Clare nodded then swallowed any hesitation she had and followed Helen out of the restroom. Inhaling and exhaling, she walked down the hall next to her mother, praying that she would not burst into tears during the ceremony . . .

()()

There were only two bridesmaids in the wedding – Clare and Melissa – while Alyson's sister, Meredith, was the matron of honor. Throughout her entire journey down the aisle, Clare only had one genuine smile on her face while the rest of them were forced; seeing her father made her grin, but he was too focused on the other side of the church to look in her direction. He was wearing a smile that instantly made her jealous of Alyson. She did want to feel this, however there were some emotions she could not control and she had started to wish that Alyson had never stepped a foot into her father's life. Tears came to her eyes at the realization that she and Darcy were not to be the only important girls in Randall's life anymore; they would have to share his heart with Alyson and Melissa and that all but broke Clare.

Throughout the entire ceremony, her eyes traveled to every face in the church, praying that would Eli somehow appear. He was always able to calm her or dry her tears with his kisses, words, and hugs; she was in dire need of his console right now and merely seeing his face would have been a remedy for her sorrow. When she had finished skimming over the crowd, she was disheartened that he was not here with her and would not be able to give her the comfort she needed at that moment.

The majority of the ceremony was a blur for Clare, which she was honestly fine with. She could not recall Alyson coming down the aisle, the couple exchanging their vows, or their first kiss as man and wife. This may have left her with fewer memories than the rest of the guests but she believed that these were memories that she could live without. She _did_ participate in the prayers and the applause as the preacher announced their union in matrimony; she just was not as enthusiastic as the rest of the attendees.

The reception that followed was being hosted at a country club that Alyson belonged to and the ballroom was decorated and set up immaculately. Clare was slightly astonished that two middle-aged, divorced adults were having such an ostentatious celebration, but she did not expect anything less from her _stepmother_. Everyone there was presently giving their cheers and best wishes to the bride and groom before socializing with the other guests or getting food from the buffet.

Since Eli was unable to come, Clare tried to invite someone else at the last minute so she could have a friend at the wedding; unfortunately, all of the people she had asked were either busy with work or had plans with their boyfriends. Ultimately, she would only be able to speak to Helen and her new stepsister since Randall and Alyson were so engrossed with each other.

Melissa was speaking to some of her cousins while Clare sat down at the appropriate table with Helen. They already had their food in front of them, but Clare only got a salad and some bread she did not have much of an appetite.

"See, it wasn't so bad," Helen said in retrospect to the wedding.

"No, but I still can't get my head wrapped around the fact that Alyson is now my stepmom."

"Time will take care of that," her mother assured her.

"I hope so," Clare replied, wanting the unfamiliar feeling to pass. She took a bite out of her salad before turning to Helen, seeing that she would not be the only one who could be feeling out of place on this day. "Is being here weird for you?"

"Maybe a bit," she shrugged. "But they invited me and I didn't want to miss seeing you as a bridesmaid."

Clare grinned at her mother's sentiment, feeling relief that she was not the only guest here who was not overly happy for Alyson and Randall. She truly doubted that her spirits would rise throughout the day, and this was evident when the couple shared their first dance.

An adagio paced song played from the D.J's speakers and it was then that they had arrived on the dance floor. Many watched from the sides as Alyson put her hand on Randall's right shoulder while he put his right hand on her back; their free hands joined and they were all smiles as they danced to the beat of their song. Clare wanted to turn her head and not look at the sight and yet she could not seem to look away; it captivated her mind no matter how much she detested what she was seeing.

Alyson's dress was a stunning white gown that had long sleeves, a subtle V-neck, a slender skirt, and waist bow that caused the fabric to hug her body. Her graying brown hair was styled into an elegant updo as her teeth shined brightly as she smiled at Randall as they danced.

At first Clare was disgruntled by the scene, but then she started to see the beauty in it. Alyson was smiling and so was Randall; she had never seen either of them so happy in the longest time. As they moved to the tempo of the song and Clare watched, her imagination took her away . . .

_She and Eli were on the dance floor, their song playing in the background. They could hardly hear it, for they were too focused on the other. She was dancing with her husband and he was dancing with his wife._

"_You're beautiful," Eli whispered in her ear after looking at her simple white wedding dress._

_Clare blushed but did not object to his compliment._

"_I love you," she said to him as she met his green eyes._

"_I love you too, Mrs. Goldsworthy," he replied with a smile._

_She chuckled, her stomach doing a summersault before their lips connected in a gentle kiss._

_She felt the wedding band on her finger and she was greatly at peace for the first time in an eternity. She was finally with Eli again and they were no longer separated by three hundred miles. They would now always be together, they never have to miss each other, and they would never have to miss out on any important moments again . . ._

She was brought back to reality when she heard a sob escape her lips and it was then when she noticed that she had tears in her eyes. She hurriedly grabbed a napkin from the table and carefully dabbed away her tears, a bit of makeup getting removed in the process.

"Honey?" Helen asked, taking notice of how Clare was extracting a napkin from her face. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah," she said, putting her napkin to the side. "I was just thinking."

And the thinking continued throughout the rest of the day. She thought of the minor yet important aspects of her life that would change, how there would be times when she would be under Alyson's authority, and she also thought of how her main source of comfort was three hundred miles out of her reach.

After couple of hours of speaking to relatives and strangers, Clare excused herself from the scene to have a moment to take in the day. She stepped outside to see the sun approaching the horizon, letting her know that she would soon be able to leave after Randall and Alyson left for their honeymoon. She shuddered from a chill that was not caused by the October wind; the thought of Randall being alone in a hotel room in New York for five days made her sick.

Between her overpowering thoughts of the new marriage and the ones of Eli that entered her mind on occasion, Clare was surprised that she was able to remain this long at the reception. If she had a car she would have left a while ago, but her family wanted her here and she did not want to hear Alyson disdain her later. All she hoped for now was for the time to pass quickly so she could go home. Her mind had been so consumed by these thoughts that she was being taken away from the world again, thus she was startled to hear the sound of a door opening behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see Randall coming out of the building, a smile on his face.

"Hi Dad," she grinned.

"What are you doing out here all alone?"

"I thought I'd get some air; there's so much going on inside. What brings you out here?"

"I was actually looking for you; I've barely seen you all day," he explained as he stood next to Clare and they faced each other.

"Happy to be married again?" she asked him, feeling strange that she had to ask her father this.

"I am," he answered.

"Then I guess congratulations are in order."

Clare forced a smile as she said this and it did not go unnoticed by Randall; he had come to know the difference between his daughter's real happiness and the charade she would put on at times.

"I talked to your mother," he mentioned to progress into his concerns. "She said you haven't been yourself today."

"I'm fine," she lied, not entirely surprised that Helen had brought this to Randall's attention. "I'm just taking in everything and I have a lot of stuff on my mind."

"Stuff like what?" he asked her, willing to help her in any possible way.

Clare was apprehensive to answer, not wanting to interrupt her father's vacation on cloud nine.

"Just teenage stuff," she lied while all the stressors that were currently in her life were called back to her.

"You mean like how being here has not exactly been a walk in the park for you?" he assumed.

She turned her eyes down, praying that this would not result in a dispute. Clare bit her lips and closed her eyes while turning her head to the ground.

"Honey, if I knew you were this unhappy about me getting remarried, I would not have asked you be in the wedding."

"I wanted to be," she told him earnestly as she faced him. "I just . . ."

"What is it, sweetheart?" he asked her kindly, seeing the tears in her eyes.

She inhaled through her nose, no longer to put up a wall to protect her father from her emotions.

"You know how some people are afraid that they'll be pushed to the side when someone new comes into the family?"

"Yes," he responded.

Clare remind silent, certain that Randall could understand her feelings without much more explanation.

"Clare, I'm not going to push you to the side just because Alyson and I are married."

"Are you sure about that?" she cried.

"Of course I'm sure. Why would you think otherwise?" he inquired of her, wondering if there was anything he had already done to make her feel this way.

"It's already happening."

"What do you mean?"

"Dad, this is the first time I've talked to you all day; I didn't even get a chance to talk to you before the wedding and . . . I don't know. I just wanted to have one last time talking to you before I got a stepmom. And all day I've wanted to see you, but you were busy with everyone else; and I know I sound selfish because this is your wedding, but –."

"You don't sound selfish," he interrupted her. "You're right. You're my daughter and I should have spent some time with you since this also affects you."

She was glad that Randall was listening to her and comprehended her words; this encouraged her to speak one of the most difficult changes she would have to face when he returned from his honeymoon.

"I'll miss you being at home," she admitted; her eyes were swelling with tears again, thus she blinked and hoped that she would be able to temporarily hold them back with her eyelids. "You've been there for so long and now . . . it just belongs to Mom."

"It is going to be a bit of a shift in gears, isn't it?"

She nodded as she began to have trouble seeing Randall's face through her clouded eyes.

"If it helps, it's going to be a bit strange for me too."

"It is?"

"Absolutely," he said. "I won't be able to hear about your days of school as often and I won't always know what's going on in your life."

"I'll keep you posted, Dad," she said, trying to put another smile on her face.

"But honey, just because I won't be at home anymore doesn't mean that my door is closed. You can come over to Alyson and I's apartment anytime; you can even come over every weekend instead of every other."

"I can?" she clarified. She knew that Alyson was not the same woman she had met many months ago, but she still did not exactly view her as the person who would permit her teenage stepdaughter to come ever whenever she pleased.

"And you can come over after school and be there for a few hours before you have to go to work; Alyson may still be working, but I might be there."

"Really?" she said. Her time with Randall would definitely be whittled down to the bare minimum, so she was determined to take advantage of any time she could spend with him.

"Really," he said.

"I may just take you up on that."

"But don't even try sneaking Eli in when he comes to visit," he warned her, his tone serious yet keeping a smile on his face.

"Deal," she agreed with the same smile.

"Are you okay?" he asked in regards to his and Alyson's union in matrimony.

"Yeah," she answered truthfully. "You're happy with her and she's been nicer to me since the fire; I don't really have much to complain about."

"That's good to hear," he smiled at her, pleased that she was willing to acknowledge that Alyson was now part of her family.

"But that doesn't mean I'm going to be able to take in all of this overnight."

"I'm not expecting you to. I know things will feel weird for a while and all I'm asking is for you to be open-minded about her being a part of your life."

"I will," she promised him. "She is now an Edwards after all."

Grinning each other, father and daughter exchanged a loving hug. In that instant, Clare felt a tear of joy fall from her eye and she did not consider bothering with it. She was with her dad and she was content in spite of the alterations that had been made to her family. They did not matter to her now, for she was in her father's arms and there would be room for her in his home and in his heart, and there would not be a stepmother that could take that away from her.

()()

"What a day," Helen proclaimed as they stepped inside the house an hour later. "Did you have a nice time?"

"I did," Clare answered truthfully.

Her talk with Randall did ease her and she just had to accept what was now real. It was understandable that it would take time, thus she wanted to let the process begin by getting back into her usual routine when this wedding was not on her mind every second of the day.

"Well, I am now completely drained," Clare said, carefully sliding out of her shoes and picking them up. "I'm going to go to bed."

"Alright," Helen replied as she stifled a yawn. "Goodnight sweetie."

"'Night Mom," she bade before traveling up the stairs.

Clare changed into her pajamas, cleaned off all her makeup, and combed her hair back to its natural curl as soon as she was upstairs. She was absolutely exhausted and she was looking forward to crawling in her bed; she had gotten up earlier than usual to get ready and holding back her unshed tears took a lot of energy. But there was one thing she wanted to do before she got comfortable and taken away by sleep . . .

She took her cell phone off her dresser and immediately dialed Eli's number. She wanted to hear his voice after this long day, so a smile came to her when he answered after two rings.

"Hello," he greeted.

"Hi," she replied with a smile before turning on her lamp. "Are you busy?"

"Nope, I'm just sitting in my room. How was the wedding?" Eli asked her.

"It was actually very nice," she said, her voice breaking at the memories of the day. "I got to know Melissa a little bit, I talked to my mom, and we had a good day for the most part."

"But . . .?" he coaxed, sensing that there was more to her story.

Clare sighed before turning out the light and walking back to her bed. Speaking to Eli and receiving his comfort over the phone was not as strong as it was in person; but she knew that she could be honest with him and that he would not stop her from letting out her emotions.

"But it was a bit hard seeing my dad with someone other than my mom and getting married to someone else . . . it wasn't exactly my fondest memory."

Eli's heart leapt painfully for her, wishing with all his heart that he could have been there for her. Compared to what she went through today, the lecture he attended had little important and he knew that he should have gone to the wedding.

"I'm sorry I didn't go," he said to her. "I really should have; it wouldn't have been the end of the world if I didn't go to the lecture and –."

"It's okay, Eli. It was probably a once in a lifetime thing anyway."

"I know, but I promised you that I would go and I knew that this would not have been an easy day for you."

"Baby, don't worry about it," she assured him. "What's done is done and I'm fine. It's just going to take some adjusting now that my dad is married to Alyson and has moved out."

Eli tried not to flinch as she spoke the word "adjusting"; he had heard it so many times ever since he and Clare had started doing this long-distance relationship that it was on the verge of being a myth.

"Has your mom moved back in yet?"

"She just has to get a few more things from the apartment and she'll be back here for good. So how was your lecture?"

"Interesting. I just got back from it when you called and I was just hanging out with Josh."

"Did you learn a few things?"

"A decent amount," he answered. "I actually kept thinking of you."

"You did?" she said, blushing slightly.

"I did. I miss you, Clare."

"I-I miss you too, Eli," Clare said, her heart beating painfully. All day she had thought of Eli and she did not want to be reminded that he was not here; she wanted to live in denial and believe that he was only a few streets away instead of in a different city. Desperate to elude more pain, she thought of the best excuse she could. "Um . . . I'll talk to you later, o–."

"Clare," he interrupted. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Eli, I'm exhausted," she told him, praying that he would leave it at that so she could have a chance to sleep off her longing.

"Just one minute?" he endeavored. "It just feels like we haven't talked in a while."

Clare's stomach churned, knowing that what he was saying was correct but did not want to admit it.

"Okay," she said, wanting to keep this a casual conversation to the best of her abilities. "What do you want to talk about?"

Eli took a breath, millions of thoughts in his head that he wished to convey in words but not sure how he would be able to present them.

"Is everything okay with you at home?"

"Everything's fine. I'm almost done with this last essay for England and then all I have to worry about is purchasing my ticket."

This was not the direction in conversation Eli was looking for, but he did not express a foul word against it since he should be content to talking to Clare not matter what they were talking about..

"That's great," he said to her.

"Tha–," she began, only to break off to let out a yawn. "Thanks."

"You really are tired, aren't you?" he said with a smirk.

"I told you so."

"Well, in that case, I'll let you get some sleep."

"Okay," she said, the idea of sleep tempting her.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"We'll see," she said, honestly not planning on calling him. This was the first time she had talked to him this week and it had already given her thoughts in her head that she had been shielding herself from for over a month; she did not want to throw herself back into that after being in a good place with it for so long.

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too," she replied. "Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams."

Grinning, Clare ended the call as she slid under the covers of her bed. She put her phone on her bedside table before taking notice of the picture frame that had been residing there for months. It was her and Eli's prom picture, his arms around her waist while he stood behind her; the light from her lamp was creating a glare on their faces, therefore only leaving their bodies visible. Wanting a better look at it, Clare picked up the picture and lied on her back while keeping the picture in her sight. She attempted to smile at the picture but was unable to; she tried to remember the last time she wore a smile like the one she had in this picture and she recalled that it was when she was in Eli's arms over a month ago. She missed smiling like that and she missed the reason behind that smile even more.

All her efforts of trying to ignore the pain had fallen apart, for it now hit her in a single second. She wanted Eli home with her just as she wanted him to be at the wedding with her today. He would have given her console, he would have told her everything she needed to hear, and the two of them would have a nice time together at the reception.

But she understood why he was not at the wedding today no matter how much she wished that he was. She only wanted – _needed _– to see her boyfriend again. The hole in her heart was beginning to grow with each thought she had and yet she did not want to stop thinking of him. Every tear she had been forcing herself to hold back attacked her eyes and they began to go down her cheeks. Yearning for the days when Eli would hold her as she cried, she put her picture back on the table and turned out her light; all the while, the tears kept flowing and her heart continued to ache for all the lost moments she and Eli had shared and how much she missed them.

Clare drifted into an uncomfortable sleep that night, only thinking about how she had to see Eli again soon . . .

* * *

"_Moving on is a simple thing_

_What it leaves behind is hard"_

_~"À Tout le Monde" by Megadeth_

* * *

If you guys think you know what's coming next then . . . you're probably right, but you probably won't expect what is up my sleeve. Let me know your predictions and you'll know for yourself next week if you're right or not. Hehehe! I will have it up next Saturday; I would post it sooner, but I am DETERMINED to make the next chapter and the one after some of my best work!

Review!


	126. The Story of Us

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Okay, I lied. Saturday is too far away and I've wanted to put this up since July of last year when I first started writing it. But, since I've stayed home from school the last couple of days since I haven't been feeling that well, I've had time to work on this, so I just spent a whole afternoon revising it and here we are.

Before we begin, WHOA! You reviewers are amazing! Thank you huffletodapuffle, sushi.23, BlackRabbit550, xStayWithMe, J.A.L.L, Degrassieclare23, Summer, Crissychan350, and Jessie's Wonders for your support and feedback! Alright guys, this is the part I've wanted to post for a LONG time! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Me? The owner of Degrassi? No, I think you have me confused with someone else. I'm just a fangirl who writes that weird fic that's going to be over two hundred fifty chapters.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Six

The Story of Us

The following week was one of the most unpleasant for Eli. He had not heard from Clare since the night of Randall's wedding a bit less than a week ago, his workload had escalated, and his job was adding extra stress to his life. Overall, his mood had been on an ultimate low and he was relieved that it was Friday night.

Eli slid a black cloth that was on his left arm a bit higher before seeing that his shift was finally over for the day. He let out a breath, pleased that he would be able to go back to his dorm and relax in a few minutes before going to sleep. This week had been full of strain and he just wanted to go back to his room and hopefully talk to Clare . . . assuming that she would actually want to Skype with him.

He left the counter and went to the break room near the back of the theater. He rubbed his eyes, craving to be home in Toronto in his own bed while holding his girlfriend. An all too familiar feeling of longing settled inside him and he felt his stomach drop because of it. Swearing under his breath for thinking this way when he knew it would only depress him, Eli retrieved his jacket and punched out for the day before digging in his pocket to be sure he still had his keys, wallet, and phone.

"Hey," Haley greeted as she entered the room and grabbed her jacket.

"Hey," he replied.

"Are you okay there?" she asked, seeing just how fatigued Eli looked.

"It's been a long week," he stated.

"At least it's the weekend; it's not like you have to go to class."

"Yeah, but I have to come back here."

"Only for six hours and then you're free."

"Which means we'll have to put up with Devin for six hours," he reminded her; his coworker was constantly aggravating him, Haley, and Gary in one way or another and they usually had to grit their teeth and ignore his comments for the sake of their jobs.

"But after those six hours, you'll be able to do anything you like."

_Not_ _anything_, he thought.

"And work is _over _for the day!" a new voice proclaimed.

Eli and Haley turned their heads to see Gary entering the room, looking quite cheerful as he retrieved his coat and wallet.

"Someone's happy," Eli observed.

"I have my reasons to be," he said as Haley walked over to him with a smile on her face. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders while she rested a hand on his chest. "Have any plans tonight, newbie?"

"I'm hoping to talk to my girlfriend on Skype, but that's probably not going to happen."

"Why do you think that?" Haley queried.

"Just a feeling," he said, although it was more of a pattern than a sense of intuition. "What do you guys plan on doing tonight?"

"I'm taking this lovely lady out on a date," Gary said before kissing Haley on the jaw.

Eli bit his lips, highly envious of the couple in front of him; there were very few things he would not give just so he could be taking his lovely lady on a date and kissing her jaw. Haley began to grin as Gary held her and caressed her with his lips. If Eli thought he was missing Clare before, he was doing so a lot more now. This did not help his emotions and he needed to get to his dorm and away from the rest of the world. Not wishing to be tortured by the pleasant sight in front of him anymore, he began walking towards the exit.

"Have fun. I'll see you guys tomorrow," he said, even though he knew that the couple did not hear him because they were so engrossed with each other.

Disgruntled, Eli walked across the lobby and exited the movie theater. The chilled air did not bother him in the slightest; he had so many thoughts in his head that it could have been precipitating in some form and he probably would not have noticed. His only goal now was to get to his room, hope for Clare to be on Skype, and attempt to speak to her about their lack of communication, which was still poking all sides of his mind.

He dug his keys out of his pocket and began fumbling for the correct one through the darkness; after finally distinguishing it out of the others on the key ring, he looked up and stopped dead in his tracks. For a second, he believed his eyes were playing tricks on him and that his brain was just deciding to torment him; he blinked and the image in front of him was still there. Leaning against the driver's side of Morty was a girl with the most beautiful eyes and a backpack resting at her feet.

"Hi Eli," Clare smiled at him.

Seconds later, Eli sprinted a couple more steps before taking her in his arms. He did not waste any time picking her up and spinning on the spot with her holding on to him; he heard her squealing as he spun them around. He heard her and he smiled for the first time in so long; as he inhaled her scent, he began to feel as though he was finally home again . . . because his home had come to him.

He stopped spinning them around after he did five circles in place and he put Clare back on the ground; he then smashed his lips to hers and kissed with all the love inside him. He was dizzy after rotating them and he could now feel his head spinning as he deprived himself of oxygen, but he did not care. He was kissing his girlfriend and there was nothing else important in the world. He did not care that he had barely heard her voice in weeks and that he did not have any clues as to what her life had been like; she was here and that meant that he would have time to talk to her about everything and nothing at all. Needing to breathe again, he slowly released her lips and met her eyes.

"Hi," he smiled, filling his lungs with air.

"Hi," she echoed breathlessly.

"Not that I'm unhappy to see you or anything but what are you doing here?"

"I've been doing some thinking and I figured that I should surprise you like how you surprised me."

Eli stood there, amazed by her incredible timing. All the pain he had been feeling before had vanished and it was replaced by one of the best emotions in the world: serenity. He embraced Clare again, trying not the shake from the happiness or the shock he was experiencing.

"God, I missed you _so_ much."

"I missed you too. But I'm here now and I don't plan on going anywhere until Sunday afternoon."

Eli continued to grin as he loosened his grip on her so he could attach his lips to hers again.

"How did you get here?" he asked once he completed the kiss.

"I took the bus."

"You rode a crowded bus for five hours just to get to Ottawa?" he clarified in sheer amazement.

"And it was worth it," she smiled before kissing his lips again. "I can't believe I've gone another six weeks without kissing you."

"We really need to start seeing each other more often."

"We do."

Needing to feel her against him, he pulled her into a strong embrace and nuzzled on her neck. He felt her hold on to him even tighter and they both allowed the time to pass by as they became reacquainted with each other's hugs.

"Welcome to Ottawa," he told her before she let out a giggle and they leaned away so they could meet each other's eyes. "So . . . do you want to go get something to eat? I'd imagine that riding a bus for five hours would give you an appetite."

"Actually, would it be okay if we just go straight to your dorm?" she asked. "I'm not really that hungry."

"Alright," he agreed.

He reluctantly let go of Clare so they could climb into Morty, but he was just pleased to be in her company again and so he did not complain. They began driving down the road, Clare observing the world outside of the car. She saw the lights and buildings while Eli drove; they were both smiling, but neither of them said a word. Within minutes, they arrived at the campus and Eli was parking the hearse. The two of them soon climbed out and Eli took her hand before they walked towards the building where he now resided.

"Wow," Clare said, widening her eyes at just how big the Stanton Residence was; she had to crane her neck to see the top of it and she was amazed that Eli now lived there. "It's . . . wow!"

"You should see it from the roof," he told her. "You can see the Rideau Canal from there."

Clare's eyes wandered as she looked at the campus and the buildings that were close to the residence. Eli opened the door for her once they were close enough and it was evident that she was in awe of the dorm; she looked everywhere and she was starting to wish that she was able to turn her head all the way around so she could see it all at one time. Eli chuckled as Clare looked around like a child at an amusement park; not wanting to rush her, he was slow as he guided her through the lobby and to the elevator.

"What do you think?" he asked her a minute later as they began to be taken to the appropriate floor.

"I like what I've seen."

"Should I give you a tour of the entire campus tomorrow?" he invited. "There's a lot more of the university to see."

"I would love that," she replied with a smile.

"Then it's a date."

Clare kept grinning at his choice of words, not being able to recall the last date they had. After they arrived on the correct floor, they took a quick journey down the hall until they arrived outside his room. He opened the door and allowed her to enter first so he could close the door behind him.

"Welcome to the Goldsworthy Suite."

Clare grinned, recognizing the room from the Skype chats she had with Eli over the past three months. She saw the pictures, the posters, everything that made his side of the room and she noticed the slight contrast it had to Josh's side. As she observed, she saw how Eli seemed to be gathering some clothes he left on the floor and that he was making his bed with one hand to the best of his ability; she chuckled inwardly, considering that she had seen his room during his hoarding days and this was nothing compared to that.

"Feels like home," she approved, finally telling him what she thought of the room.

"I would have straightened up more if I knew you were coming," he apologized as he put his clothes in a hamper that he had in his closest.

"Then it wouldn't have been a surprise," she reminded him as she put her backpack beside his twin-size bed.

"Touché," he said, greatly appreciating her unannounced visit. "Um . . . the bed is not as roomy as mine back home, so I'll sleep on the floor or in Morty if you'll be more comfortable that way."

Clare grinned, took his left hand, and gave him a reassuring look.

"I would rather sleep on the floor or in Morty with you than have a bed to myself."

"Oh really?" he said with a light teasing tone.

She kept her smile on her face, stepping closer to him as she put his hand in a firmer grip.

"I didn't ride a bus for five hundred miles to sleep alone."

Eli could not process how incredible his night had become; Clare was here in his room, was willing to sleep in a twin-size bed with him, and was making him feel truly happy for the first time in what seemed to be an eternity. He grinned at her, definitely looking forward to holding her body next to his throughout the night.

"I guess we can manage then."

"That works for me . . ."

They captured each other's lips again, not wasting a single second. He put his hands on her hips while she put her hands on his shoulders.

"Now," she said, "you and I have _a lot_ of catching up to do."

"Indeed we do," he agreed.

He sat on the edge of his bed and she sat to the left of him, arms and hands still remaining on each other. Being taken away by the mood that was forming around them, Eli put a kiss on one of her cheeks.

"You're incredible, you know," he whispered to her before he kissed her other cheek.

"Why?" she asked as he put a soft kiss on her jaw.

"You came all the way up here," he told her as he planted yet another kiss on her neck.

"You came back to Toronto before," she reminded him, toes curling as he continued placing kisses on her.

"It still means a lot that you came. I love you so much."

"I love you too," she breathed before cupping his face and guiding it until she was able to meet his lips with her own.

Becoming enchanted by the kiss, Clare felt Eli's left hand journey to her outer thigh while the other went to the small of her back; his hand went in circles on her body and she felt her insides begin to boil. She returned her right hand to his shoulder and while the other found the back of his head and forced his lips closer to hers.

Wanting to reconnect with Clare in this physical and passionate way, Eli's right hand cupped the left side of Clare's neck and began kissing her with so much vigor that he constantly had to remind himself to be more gentle. Clare did not pay mind to this, for she was too focused on tangling her fingers in his hair. While they continued kissing, she slid the hand on his shoulder down his chest then into the inside of his jacket. She felt Eli's heart against her hand and she was astonished how fast it was racing. She gradually took her lips away from his and her heart melted when they locked eyes.

"You look sexy in this uniform," she whispered to him, tracing over the letters on the left breast that read _Ottawa Cinema_.

"Why thank you," he smirked as he stole another kiss from her.

"Mind if I see more of it?" she asked innocently. In hope that he would catch on to what she was saying, she put her hands on the collar of his jacket and gave it a gentle tug.

"Eager, Edwards?"

"Don't make me ask you twice."

Continuing to smirk, Eli obliged and started taking off his jacket; Clare grinned as the clothing fell from his hand and onto the ground.

"Satisfied?"

Clare rolled her eyes before they resumed the positions of their hands and kiss.

"Very," she then answered him as they realigned their lips.

She felt his thumb on his left hand smooth over the top of her right thigh; feeling the pad of his thumb, Clare ended the kiss before her eyes met the limb that was connecting her to him. As she looked down at his hand on her thigh, she noticed that the black cloth that was resting on his forearm had slid down and exposed a bit of the previously unseen hidden skin; that was when she saw a red mark on his flesh while the rest of it was still concealed by the fabric.

"Is your arm okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," he answered hurriedly, releasing her body completely and leaning out of any hold she had on him. He quickly adjusted his cloth to be sure that the mark on his skin was hidden; Clare noticed and took hold of his left arm.

"Clare, don't –."

But it was too late. Clare had pushed the fabric down his arm so she would be able to see just what he was hiding. She gasped in disbelief and horror when she saw horizontal gashes that had taken up at least two inches of Eli's arm. Some of them were beginning to heal while the rest looked like they had been there for a short amount of time. Her eyes began to swell with tears when she looked up at Eli; he was looking away from her, fearing her reaction.

"Eli?" she said in a weak voice.

"It's nothing to worry about," he told her has he pulled his hand out of her grip and covered up the marks again.

"Then why are there –?" She stopped herself and thought of the only logical explanation. "A-Are you cutting yourself?" she stammered.

Eli still did not look at her and he did not speak. She took his silence as an answer and she became petrified.

"Why?" she asked as she felt the tears jab her eyes harder than before. He still did not say a word. "_Please_, Eli, talk to me."

"It's nothing," he restated.

"_Nothing_?" she echoed. "If it's nothing, then why are you hurting yourself?"

"Just drop it," he insisted.

"I'm not going to drop it," she said firmly. "What has been going on that has caused you to do this?"

The questions, the horror and urgency in Clare's voice, and the tense atmosphere had become too much for Eli. He had been miserable all week and now the highlight of it all was fading because of this moment. Every good feeling he had in the last half hour was slipping away and was being replaced by fear, anxiety, and sadness again; the only difference between now and that entire week was that the person he wanted to keep it from was now seeing it . . . she knew who he had become.

His heart was pounding in his ears, his mind was racing with so many negative thoughts, and he felt nauseated. He could not face Clare; she had already reacted to the cuts and knowing anything more would only bring more agony and he could not stand doing that to either of them.

The room now felt crowded although they were the only ones in there; Eli could not breathe and he had forgotten where he was and who he was with. All he saw in his mind was the many outcomes of this, and none of them were good; desperate to escape and attempt to clear his head so he could have a chance of saving this weekend, he stood up and walked towards the exit of the room.

"Eli!" Clare called after him.

Without looking back, Eli swept out the door and closed it behind him, leaving her speechless and terrified.

He could only think of one place of escape and that was where immediately journeyed to. Within two minutes, he was on the roof of the Stanton Residence; no one else was up there, which was a miniscule relief to him. There was silence, thus he began to take in the last few minutes without being distracted.

He paced and grabbed fistfuls of hair, cursing himself for not being more careful. He never wanted Clare to know about this or his reasons behind it. He did not want her to know the kind of guy he was now, for this did not happen back in Toronto. There was too much on the line to risk telling her what has been happening to him and he did not need this being added to her list of concerns.

"What is wrong with you?" he growled to himself. "You should have thought about this; you knew she would find out eventually. How stupid can you be?"

He brought his hands down from him, which led him to catch sight of the fabric that disguised the wounds on his skin. Enraged that Clare had discovered this, he hid it with his free hand and continued muttering scolds to himself.

"She's going to hate you now," he predicted. "Hoarding was one thing, but now you're harming yourself. She's going to be disgusted. She's probably catching the next bus to Toronto by now; she's going to break up with you because you did not tell her that you did this. She's going to hate you."

Loathing himself with every fiber of his being for leading his relationship to its demise, Eli stopped pacing. He inhaled shakily as he faced the horizon at the front of the residence. He allowed the wind to blow on his face, freezing the moisture in his eyes. As he stood there, he was certain that the love of his life was walking away from him. She would not want to be with him while he did this to himself; the only relief he had was that she would not have to hear all the thoughts that were circulating his brain ever since he left Toronto for the first time.

"She would be better off not knowing," he thought out loud. "She'd be better off without me."

His heart ached as the words slipped from his lips and yet he could not convince himself to unsay them; he hated himself for letting her see him this way and would give anything to turn back the clock to avoid it . . .

"Hi."

He looked over his shoulder to see Clare coming on to the roof, his jacket in her hands. He was relieved that she did not sound timid; maybe that was an indication that she was not going to hate him or intentionally keep her distance. However, this did mean that he would have to hear her say that she was breaking up with him instead of letting it be implied as she left the city like he anticipated.

"Hey," he replied before facing away from her. "How did you know I would be up here?"

"You told me before that this is where you usually go to get away," she shrugged. "It wasn't hard to figure out where you would be."

She stepped towards Eli, keeping her eyes on him as he focused on the horizon. She stood at his side; her eyes switched between her boyfriend and where he was staring, waiting patiently for the silence to be broken.

"I thought you might want this," she said to him, presenting him with the jacket.

"Thanks," he said, taking the jacket off her hands and putting it on without meeting her eyes. Now that she was closer to him, he would be able to read her eyes more clearly and he was too afraid of what he could see to bother looking; as a result, he kept his eyes focused on the landscape in front of them.

"Eli," she began softly, "you know that . . . that I care about you and that –."

"Stop," he demanded, preferring this to be quick instead of drawn out. "I know where this is going. You know that I care about you and that I promised to marry you, but I can't be with you while you cut yourself."

He stood frozen in place, waiting for her to confirm his words; part of him hoped that she would simply walk away to keep himself safe from the pain it would cause him. When he did not see her walk out of his peripheral vision, however, he knew that he would not have a choice but to hear her say goodbye.

"That did not even cross my mind," she then said to him in the kindest voice he ever heard. It seemed so serene that he almost did not believe it, but he felt her hand come to his shoulder and he knew in that instant that she was not lying to him. Feeling this comfort, he began feeling guilty for leaving the room without justification and for assuming what her actions would be.

"I'm sorry for running out like that."

"Don't be," she said to him. "I kind of put you on the spot."

"There was no other way to put it," he assured with a shrug. "And I'm sorry –."

"No more apologies," she said to him directly. "I get it."

_No, you don't_, Eli thought. He then took a few steps to the side, causing Clare's hand to fall off his shoulder; once he had taken a breath, he turned to overlook Ottawa again. Clare followed him, but kept her hands to herself this time.

"How mad are you?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"I'm not mad," she answered. "I'm . . . shocked . . . and confused . . . but I'm not mad."

Her lack of anger was his only appeasement from her statement; the shock and confusion, however, made him worried. She would have questions, she would want answers, and he was not willing to give them all to her at this moment; she was startled and his mind was reeling, so he doubted if he would be able to give her specific responses to her inquiries.

"Do you want to talk? About anything you want, I mean," she added hurriedly. "School, friends, work, old memories; whatever you want."

Eli saw what she was trying to do, but he appreciated how she was not interrogating or forcing him to tell her what was happening. The negativity in his mind was still poisoning him, thus he tried not to laugh at the irony; for weeks he had been wanting to talk to her but she never answered his calls or messages. Only _now_ was she allowing him to speak, and he was trying not to snigger at her proposition; he may not have had true evidence to draw the conclusion that she was avoiding him, but he could not think of any other logical explanation.

"I kind of wish that you would want to talk about those things more when we were actually apart," he stated bitterly.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Eli continued looking into the distance, the animosity filling him. He was worried about Clare when she did not return his calls, he was pleased to see her when she arrived; now that she had discovered what he had been hiding and that he was reminded of one of the many reasons he put pain upon himself, he felt rage. Deciding that this was now the best time to voice everything that he been meaning to say for such a long time, Eli continued staring and let out a breath.

"You've been ignoring my calls."

"What?"

"Don't deny it, Clare. I called probably seventy times over the last six weeks and you only answered five at the most; do want me to believe that you were conveniently busy the other sixty-five times?"

"Is this why you've been cutting?" she asked him, crossing her arms. "Because you can't just start doing this to yourself just because I didn't return some calls!"

His felt flames rise in his eyes and he would have showed them to her if he was not determined to avoid meeting her gaze. Instead, he flared his nostrils and began to shout at the night.

"You think I would do that? You really think I would let that _one thing _lead me to do this?" he said, letting his hand gesture to his left arm before crossing them again."Do you really think I would start cutting myself just because of that? No, I wouldn't!"

"But if this has been going on for only six weeks –!"

"It's been going on for longer than that, okay?" he confessed. "It's been going on for a while!"

"How long is a while?"

"Just a while, alright?" he snapped, not quite prepared to admit when he had begun this distressing habit.

Clare looked down at her feet, ashamed that she accused Eli of doing this without a deeper reason. What was even more horrifying to her was that he had been keeping this a secret for a long time and that she had failed to see any indications that he was covering emotional and physical wounds.

"Eli, I'm sorry," she said to him, uncrossing her arms. "I just . . . I just don't understand why you would do this."

"There are a lot of reasons," he said to her, his mouth speaking before he could stop himself. He instantly regretted this, foreseeing how she would want to get him to open up when he did not want her involved in his conflicts.

"We can talk about this if you want."

Eli rolled his eyes and huffed, disbelieved that she only had interest in talking now that he needed someone to talk to and not when it was needed for their relationship. He remained still and this was seen by Clare, alarmed that he was not accepting her invitation and that he was continuing to not look at her.

"Please, Eli, don't shut me out."

"Like how you shut me out?" he snapped.

"It's not like we never talk; I call you at least once a week and we text our I love you's every day and night."

"We _talk_; we don't have a conversation," he rebutted. "We don't Skype anymore, we haven't talked about going on a long-distance date; the only times you gave me a chance to talk to you was the night I got back here, when I told you I couldn't go to the wedding and we tried to make more visiting plans, and after you got back from the wedding; if we ever talked any other time than that, it was never about us and it only lasted five minutes. We used to talk for hours on Skype or on the phone or we would text all night; what happened to that?"

Clare stood there, dumbfounded that Eli was so affected by this; she honestly expected him to be too preoccupied with his friends and the Drama Club to notice that she was not keeping in contact with him.

"Why didn't you tell me you felt like this?"

"You never answered your phone!" he almost shouted. "I would have texted you or emailed, but you could have just overlooked those altogether!"

"You really think I would do that to you?"

"What else am I supposed to think? You don't answer most of my calls, so why would you reply to any of my messages? I was on the verge of sending you a letter to tell you how I was feeling because I thought it was the only way you would hear what I had to say! The only reason I didn't do that was because we needed to talk about this face-to-face!"

"We can talk about it now if you calm down a bit."

Although Eli never expected how they would have this conversation, he never imagined it would be like this. He thought they would be a bit calmer, that they would be indoors, and that they only had one problem in their midst. Deciding it was better to take it than to leave it, Eli inhaled and exhaled before asking his many questions.

"Tell me the truth: were you considering breaking up with me?"

"No."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"Were you mad at me?"

"No."

"Did you just not feel like talking to me?"

"No."

"Then why did you do it?" he demanded, unsure what other reasons there was for her to not call him. "What I did to make you stop talking to me as much?"

"You didn't do anything," she said with complete honesty. "It's a bit hard to explain."

"Try," he barked, believing that he deserved an explanation.

Hearing the desperation in his voice, Clare took a breath in attempt to organize her thoughts. She owed Eli the truth and she was not going to deprive it of him when he had been keeping so much inside.

"When you left Toronto a few weeks ago, I was in a rut. I realized that we would be away from each other for a long time and then we would only see each other for a few days and it's going to be that way until I come here next year. I started to think about how much I missed you and I _hated_ thinking about it because it hurt and it reminded me that we would not see each other for a while. Since then, I tried to distract myself from that feeling by spending time with people, working, and doing things for the wedding; it worked, but . . . whenever I thought about texting you or calling you or anything, it depressed me. Whenever we stopped talking, I began missing you more and more and it sucked. I was reminded that you were here and I was at home without you; I didn't have you there to make me feel better or tell me that everything was going to be okay."

"If you called me and told me that, I would have come back," he informed her, his tone coming out harsher than he intended.

"You would have to leave again anyway," she said. "I figured that the less I heard from you, the easier it would be to deal with you not being around."

There was only a minimal relief that came from her words; anger refilled his heart and he was now more determined than before to gaze only at the bridge that rested over the Rideau Canal.

"And did you think about how _I _could have been affected by this?" he asked her, his temper increasing.

"I thought you would be too busy to notice."

"I tend to notice when I don't hear from my girlfriend for over five days at a time."

"You know there are going to be weeks when we don't talk that much," she tried to reason with him. "When exams come around, we're going to be studying a lot and those will be times when we won't talk."

"I understand that, but I'm not talking about months down the road when we're going to be studying twenty-four/seven; I'm talking about now when we are still getting used to only seeing each other once every month and a half."

"Eli, _please_ understand where I'm coming from with this."

"I do," he said. "It wasn't exactly easy coming back here knowing that I'm not going to be able to see my girlfriend every day, but I want this to work and so I call, text, everything. I feel the same way you do every time we stop talking but – unfortunately – that comes with long-distance."

"I know, but . . ."

She tried to retaliate, but she could no longer deny the truth; she had hurt Eli by isolating herself from him while she was able to enjoy her life at home to a certain degree. Yes, they both missed each other, but she was controlling the use of communication while Eli was left in the dark with nothing to do but hope that they would speak again.

"I guess I've been a bitch, hu?" she said.

"I wouldn't say that," he told her; he responded in this way due to the fact that he believed that he should not call someone he loved by that name.

"Then I've been a bit selfish by only thinking about how I felt instead of thinking about you."

He agreed via silence to save her from bruised feelings. Knowing that she deserved it, she stepped a bit closer to Eli in hope that he would meet her eyes; he did not.

"If it helps, no matter how many times I tried to not think about it, I always went to bed and woke up thinking about how much I missed you."

He hated that Clare missed him so much that it brought her pain, but the idea of being longed for gave him a sense of satisfaction.

"Small world," he commented, being able to relate to that feeling a hundred percent. He then felt a hand place itself on his bicep, but he still kept his focus on the scenery.

"Eli, I'm sorry," she said to him. "I'll start calling more and everything if it means that much to you."

"But if it's going to make you miss me that much more –."

"I miss you no matter what. And just because I have a bit more life outside of our relationship doesn't mean I shouldn't acknowledge it because you're so far away; that's not going to do us any good."

Hearing her words and the true emotion behind them made him relax enough to truly reflect on the heated conversation they just had. He recalled the accusations, the yelling, and all the details in between that made him disappointed in himself.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper," he said to her. "That was all I've been thinking about for weeks and it's built up over time."

"I'm sorry too," she reciprocated. "I should have thought about our relationship instead of only focusing on me."

"Does this mean we can start talking on a daily basis again?" he said, forcing a positive tone to leak into his voice.

"Definitely," she agreed.

The atmosphere became lighter, but Clare knew it was only temporary. She could not forget what she witnessed in Eli's room and she did not want him to continue; even if she had to stay here all night in the cold with him, she would talk to him until he opened up to her about his pains.

"You said that . . . this was not the only reason you cut yourself," she recalled with hesitation.

Eli's silence was the answer she needed to hear. It frightened her that he was being haunted by his thoughts and feelings, but that did not mean she was going to put the subject to rest and pretend that it did not matter. She was cautious in her upcoming choice of words, for she did not want to accuse Eli of being mentally unstable or unwell and make it sound negative. After struggling with her words for a half a minute, she took a breath and attempted to speak to him.

"What else is going on?"

* * *

"_So many things that I wish you knew_

_So many walls up_

_I can't break through"_

_~"The Story of Us" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

*Silence* . . . R-Review?


	127. I'm Gonna Love You Through It

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you guys! You seriously gave me relief with all the positive feedback. I'm actually glad some of you saw it coming, since that kind of shows that I put in enough to show that it was not completely random; on the other hand, I'm glad you guys saw it as a twist whether you expected it or not. Thank you ruthrod, MadameDegrassi4587, Jessie's Wonders, Guest, degrassiforevah, Eclarexoxo, Summer, Degrassieclare23, Jordanxx, huffletodapuffle, sushi.23, J.A.L.L, xStayWithMe, BlackRabbit550, degrassixoxo, Ryuno chu, and Crissychan350 for your reviews and thank you to everyone who gave great feedback via twitter. I appreciate it all. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer (to the tune to of "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen): Hey, my name is Turbo. I am a bit crazy. Here's my disclaimer, I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Seven

I'm Gonna Love You Through It

"_What else is going on?" _she had asked.

A great deal was going on and Eli was very apprehensive to tell her about it. One problem may have been erased, but his other issues fed on its energy and were developing into greater dilemmas than they were before. Everything that had contributed to his cutting was now buzzing in his mind and he could not control it; he yearned for isolation and to have the necessary tool that would slice his skin and give him temporary relief from these thoughts. The anger was no longer existent in him since he had released it a mere five minutes ago. Unfortunately, sadness, sorrow, and fear were all that was left in him; the love inside him was concealed by all the darker emotions, yet it also seemed to be the root of all his horrors within.

Clare waited patiently for him to respond to her question. Her heart was pounding painfully but she ignored it to focus all of her attention on Eli. Time ticked by for five minutes and her boyfriend still had not said a word. She was getting more and more concerned, for he had rarely been so silent with her.

"Please talk to me," she pleaded in the calmest manner possible.

Eli shook his head and uncrossed his arms to put his hands in his pockets.

"If I tell you, that means you're involved; I don't want you to be more stressed out than you already are."

Clare put a gentle hand on his upper arm and rubbed it soothingly, hoping her touch would bring comfort to him.

"You don't give me stress, Eli; the rest of the world does."

"Either way, I don't want you to hear it."

"And I don't want you to keep it bottled up."

She hoped that this would inspire him to speak, but it was a failed attempt. Praying that she would be able to convince him, she gently squeezed his arm and took a breath.

"I know I haven't been the best girlfriend lately, but I still want to be here for you; and I understand if you don't want to talk because I did not talk to you much after you left, but I'm here if you ever do want to tell me."

Eli, who had was now attempting to put the past month behind him, wanted to open his heart to her and release all that had been dwelling in him since he first left Toronto three months before. He wanted to speak, but his heart was keeping his mouth closed about this subject.

"We're not supposed to be having these conversations," he forced himself to say. "It took you five hours to get here and we should be enjoying our time together."

"We have a whole lifetime to enjoy our time together."

"Do we?" he asked, his voice dripping in pain.

"What do you mean?"

He rolled his lips, clearly apprehensive about taking a leap of faith and talking about his reasons behind not wanting to tell her.

"There has been . . . _a lot_ in my head, Clare. I don't like myself most of the time because of the things I think; if I tell you . . . I wouldn't be surprised if you were back in Toronto by dawn."

Clare's heart froze, fearing what Eli could have been thinking all this time. These thoughts were birds trapped in a cage that were unable to escape and resulted to taunting the living soul around them with their screeches. She was determined to set them free and she was not going to stop without a decent fight.

"It may not be the easiest thing for me to hear, but I won't have anything to complain about since you're the one feeling this way."

"But I don't . . . I don't want you to be . . ."

"What?" she asked softly.

Eli took a breath, hoping to find the words that would describe his terror.

"I don't want you to think less of me because of what I say or do."

Clare would be lying if she said that she was not relieved by his answer; she was worried that her lack of communication with him over the past weeks had tarnished his confidence in her, but evidently that was not the case. Praying that he would soon open up to her, she made herself a vow to never avoid contact with Eli again in case the results were not in her favor next time. She took his hand, but not even that made him turn to her.

"I won't judge you, Eli," she said softly. "I promise."

He exhaled through his nostrils and looked at the ground, her words not doing any good for him. He pulled his hand away from her before crossing his arms.

"I want to believe that, but . . ."

Seeing that he would just move his hands or arms away when she laid a hand on one of them, she decided to take a new approach; she stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around his middle just as he had done to her whenever she needed solace or reassurance.

"I didn't judge you when you hoarded and I'm not going to judge you now. You have to trust me on that."

Eli remained a statue, tempted to accept her proposal. If he was to talk to anyone about this, it would be Clare since she understood him and she was sympathetic; she had also assured him that he could speak to her if he wanted to . . . and he desperately did. His only hesitation was the fact that he could upset her, therefore he hoped that she would forgive him if that occurred.

He walked over to the entrance to the stairs and leaned against the giant cube of cement that existed so the door could stand on the roof; he sat down and Clare sat in front of him, both of them crossing their legs. She remained silent while he avoided her eyes and continued mulling some thoughts over in his head. They both felt the tension and it was cutting them to the core, but Clare did not urge him to speak. She did not want to give him a reason to turn away from her again, so she waited patiently for him to make the first move.

Eli could feel her eyes on him and he was suddenly reminded of a bit less than two years ago when he explained to her why he hoarded; now he had to talk to her about something similar and just as horrifying. Clare tried to meet his eyes, but he just stared at the ground.

"Before I tell you, I need to know that this will remain between us. You're the only one who knows about this and I want it to remain that way."

"Eli . . . if there is something going on with you, I'm sure that CeCe and Bullfrog would want to know about it."

"But that means that they'll worry; I don't want that for them. It's one of the reasons I didn't tell you."

"They're your parents; they would want you to tell them if anything like this is happening."

"I'll probably tell them later, but now is not the best time. Mom still cries sometimes when I talk to her on the phone because I'm not home and I don't to make it any worse for her or Dad."

Clare's mouth went dry, not sure if she would be able to keep that promise. She wanted Eli to open up to her, but she did not know if she was willing to keep this from the people who loved him most.

"Please, don't tell them," he begged. "Please."

His words were full of pain and it was then that Clare saw that he was completely serious about not putting more worry on the ones he loved; she understood this and just hoped that he would talk to his parents about this someday.

"If you consider telling them some time in the future, I won't say anything to them," she said reluctantly.

With her blessing, Eli tried to relax until all his conflicts made sense in his mind; he kept his eyes away from her, but he could feel her watching him as she patiently waited for him to talk.

"I know I've been saying that this place is great, and it is. It's a great school and the people are cool for the most part, but there are days when I hate it here; I mean _really hate _it here," he began bluntly. "I was fine for the first week or so but then I started feeling different. I couldn't sleep, I barely ate anything for days, and I took on extra work so I wouldn't have to think about how I feel. At first I thought I was just homesick, but then I started getting angry for no reason, there are times when I want to . . . cry, I don't want to be around anyone, and now I'm worried that there is something wrong with me."

"Because you're cutting?" she assumed.

"And I'm thinking all these negative things."

"That just means that you're going through a rough patch."

Eli shook his head; Clare was not seeing his point and she did not comprehend what he was trying to say. It was not as simple as she was making it out to be; there was even more going on in his brain and he was certain that not all of his problems were solvable.

"You don't understand."

"I'll try harder to. I just don't think that you're messed up because of this."

"You're only thinking that because I'm your boyfriend."

Clare was silent, knowing that her judgment may be clouded due their relationship but she did not want to jump to conclusions. She wanted to reach out and take his hands, but she predicted that he would deny the action and so she kept them still.

"I think that you are homesick and you're keeping everything inside."

"But not every person who is homesick cuts themselves."

"That means you're going through something. Think about it: you're still getting used to being away from home; you haven't been here that long and we're still trying to manage our relationship with us being so far apart. It is going to be a while until everything seems a bit normal and you're still adjusting to being away from home."

Eli felt tears come to his eyes as he was reminded of home. He thought of his family, Degrassi, all the memories that took place there, and how he would not truly be a part of it again unless he left Ottawa. He longed to be there and he wanted to get back all the time he had lost by being away.

"I-It's hard being away from home; I miss you, my family, Adam, everything about Toronto. I want to think about you guys, but sometimes it hurts too much and then it hurts that I don't have any of you up here with me. And I try to look to the future when I come back and when we're together again, but . . . I'm scared that what I think about won't come true. It's like everything that I used to have as a rock or as something I can depend on is disappearing or I'm worried that it will eventually vanish and I'll be alone to deal with whatever problem I'm having and it scares me. And I've tried not to worry, but I just can't take it at times."

He choked back a sob and rubbed his eyes before resting his hands and talking again.

"And there are times when I get really afraid."

"Afraid of what?" she asked worriedly.

He took a trembling breath, terrified of speaking what had been in his heart ever since he came to Ottawa.

"That something bad would happen . . . something . . . between us."

Clare gulped silently, worried about what she could hear but was ready to do what she could to help him.

"What do you mean by something bad?"

Eli inhaled again, looking straight down at his legs and nowhere else.

"You breaking up with me and wanting nothing more to do with me. I'm scared that we'll . . . that we'll end up not trusting each other, or we'll fall out of love, that you won't want anything more to do with me, or you'll find someone who actually deserves you and things like that."

"You don't think you deserve me?" Clare repeated, disbelieved that this would cross Eli's mind.

"I know I don't," he said. Clare heard his voice break and her heart began to ache when she heard these false words.

"That's not true, Eli."

"Yes, it is. You may not believe it now, but you will eventually."

"No," she said, reaching out to him and putting her hand on his upper left arm. For a second she believed that he would turn his eyes to her, but he did not. Despite this, she rubbed her hand up and down his arm to soothe him. "Why would you even think that?"

"Because you're going to England and I think you should go and I know that it is something you want to do, but . . . I'm scared that you'll come back and . . . and you won't want to be with me anymore."

Clare truly wanted to cry in sympathy for him; she did not have any idea as to how Eli started thinking all of these thoughts, but she would do anything if it meant he would never think them again.

"That's not going to happen."

"How do you know?" he snapped with such volume that it caused Clare with withdraw her hand. "It's a new country with . . . with so much and . . ."

"Just because I'll like the country doesn't mean I'll stop loving you."

"But you will see more of the world, grow as person, and then you will get back and realize that you deserve more than this kid who hoarded, cuts, and asked you to marry him while he was in high school. You'll probably come back and not want anything more to do with me."

Eli knew he sounded completely unfair by accusing her of this, but he could not stop himself. These thoughts had been revolving in his head and have becoming more powerful for weeks. He tried to control them and talk himself out of the pain, but he soon began to lose the battle against himself and he began surrendering to his thoughts with every day that passed.

"I'm terrified of that happening and losing you."

"You aren't going to lose me," she promised. "I'm not going anywhere. I swore to you before you left that we wouldn't break up and I don't ever want us to."

"But what if we do? That's all I've been thinking about ever since you told me about England. What if something happens and we fall apart completely?"

Clare took a deep breath, heartbroken and horrified that Eli had been feeling this way for so long and never telling her.

"You've been thinking about this for a while, haven't you?"

Eli nodded, still not look at her.

"How long have you been feeling this way?" she asked.

"I was homesick after one or two weeks of being here, but I didn't really feel anything too severe until you told me about England."

"When did you start cutting yourself?"

Eli rolled his lips, hating himself for what he was about to say.

"A few days after you told me you were going to England," he said shamefully. "When you told me . . . everything hit me and it eventually became too much and . . . the rest is history."

Clare's heart frozen and she felt tears come to her eyes; her benefit was a source of Eli's agony and no workshop was worth that. The idea of her excitement wounding him made her want to turn back time and never agree to going.

"If my going to England was causing you to feel this way then you could have –."

"Asked you not to go?" he finished for her. "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I told you not to go to the place you wanted to go for years?"

"I care more about you than England. If it's causing you to feel _this_ worried then I won't go."

"No," he said. "You've done a lot for it already and –."

"It doesn't matter."

"You'll regret not going."

"I can go to England in the future; we can even go together when we're married or –."

"You shouldn't throw this away because of me."

"Our relationship is more important."

"Clare . . . I want you to go for you just like you wanted me to come up here for myself. When I got accepted, you thought about me and you never asked me to stay in Toronto; and that was for university. This is just a workshop that will be three months and I would be the worst person ever if I asked you not to go. I feel horrible telling you this now because I should be encouraging you to go and not be thinking of how it would affect me; you were never like that with me."

"Eli," she said, tears coming to her eyes that the love of her life had been thinking all of this. Clare could not see his eyes, but she saw a tear fall on to the ground.

"I tried not to think about it and I tried to be the boyfriend you needed me to be and support you and everything, but t-then the stress started building up because of work and classes and I was worried all the time about us breaking up somehow. Since then, every time I can't take the fear or whenever I can't take the stress, I take my pocketknife and . . ."

Clare tried to control her tears by taking a few breaths. She had a feeling that his story was not over yet and thus continued to be silent.

"I did it on my shoulders at first," he admitted. "They were easier to hide there."

"Is that why you didn't want to take your shirt off in front of me when you came home last time?" she asked, connecting the dots.

He nodded, recalling that night and how they did not explore their intimacy since he wanted to hide his scars.

"But eventually . . . I couldn't do it up there anymore so I . . . moved to my arm and I've been covering up the marks ever since."

He began to shake once he was done speaking. He had always been aware of the things he had done, but it felt more of a dream than a reality until he actual spoke of it. Feeling more dread in his heart than before, he closed his eyes and took multiple breaths to keep his body from shuddering.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Clare asked, wondering why he did not tell her if this had been going on for as long as he said it did.

"I didn't want you to worry about me; you had enough on your plate with school, England, your dad's wedding and everything. Then we . . . didn't talk for so long and I didn't think I would be able to talk to you."

Clare's stomach jumped at those words and she began to feel more guilt-ridden about not being there like they promised. She was about to apologize again for putting him through that when he continued.

"And I wanted to come clean about it when I visited, but we had just had a fight and I didn't want to make anything worse," he spoke hurriedly, afraid that she would accuse him of being a liar and walking away before he could explain himself. "And I would have told you about everything that was going on with me, but I was scared, I didn't want you to worry, I didn't want –."

"You don't have to explain," she eased him. "I understand."

Appeased that she was letting him speak this long without hurting him or walking away, he swallowed a lump in his throat and proceeded.

"I've been thinking about seeing a therapist again, but I don't have the time or money for it right now. I've been trying to stop, but some days I just can't take it."

He took a shuddering breath before continuing.

"I'm ashamed of myself for doing it, but I don't know what to do."

Clare was terrified to hear these words. If she was feeling this cold hearing this, she did not even want to comprehend how Eli felt. He must have been walking through hell and she wanted nothing more than to take him in her arms and give him peace.

"And . . . I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and I've only been gone a few months; something could happen and we could fall apart."

"Nothing is going to happen to us," she reassured him.

"We don't know that."

"Trust me."

Clare took both of his hands but he pulled them away.

"_Don't_," he said sharply, knowing what she was about to say.

"I'll help you get better."

"How?" he demanded. "You're five hundred miles away from here most of the time."

"I'll visit every weekend, I'll call every single night, anything you need me to do."

"I don't think your parents will be fond of you leaving Toronto every weekend."

"I'll tell them that I miss you too much and hopefully they'll understand."

"What about when you're in England?"

"We'll figure something out; I'll still call and Skype from there."

But Eli was standing his ground, refusing to let his pain become a burden for her to carry.

"I don't want you to drag you down with me."

"You're not; we're going to build you back up."

"You don't deserve this."

"And you don't deserve to be feeling this way. You're going through a hard time and I'm not going to sit back and let you be hurting all the time when you have a lot going on."

Eli wrung his hands together, knowing that it was time to take the move he should have made a while ago. He needed to save Clare from himself and the demons within him even if it meant him being miserable forever.

"Clare . . . you need to go home," he muttered.

"No," she refused. "Not today."

"Yes."

"I'm not going, Eli."

"You shouldn't be in a long-distance relationship and you shouldn't be with me; you should be with someone closer to you and someone who doesn't worry about everything."

"I don't want to be with someone closer; I want to be with you and _only_ you."

Both of their stubborn sides were emerging and Clare was determined to let hers be the domineering one; she grasped both of Eli's hands in her own again and held them tight so he could not pry them away.

"Look, Eli, if us being in a long-distance relationship is causing you pain, then we'll just need to figure something else out. I'll try to graduate early if it will help."

"I can handle the long-distance; I'm just worried about what could happen if we start hiding things from each other, if we fight, or if one of us wants to change our plans."

"Eli, fighting is part of a relationship; you know that. It sucks but we'll work it out just like we always have. And we'll work on being open with each other. And if one of us wants to change plans, we'll talk about it with the other and we'll reach a compromise; it won't always be easy, but we'll make it work."

"But there will eventually come a time when we will get tired of the fights and trying to do the impossible to stay together."

"It'll be hard, but it won't be impossible. It's not going to be that long until I come up here for university; we can get through these next few months."

"What if we don't?"

"We will."

"Listen," he insisted. "A lot can happen in the months ahead; we can have more problems, we can end up fighting all the time, or we can just lose contact."

He took a breath, wishing that he had enough courage to look Clare in the eye for what he was about to say next; but he could not bring himself to do it so he continued to look at the cement.

"I've been thinking about this for a while and . . . maybe it's for the best if we . . ."

Clare shook her head, knowing that Eli was just in pain.

"Eli, you know you don't want that."

"I don't, but this long-distance relationship –."

"We just have to work on it; we have to find a flow that works for us."

"No," he objected. "I'm just wasting your time."

"You're not," she said firmly. "I love you; and some problems, a long-distance relationship, and fights are not going to stop me from feeling that way."

"I love you too and . . . that's why I have to let you go."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said firmly; she knew he did not mean what he was saying right now and she was driven to put some faith in him.

"You don't deserve this; you deserve someone who you know won't do anything like hoard and cut himself. You don't deserve to have a life when you're constantly worried about your boyfriend and you don't have to keep thinking of the possibility of him doing something to himself every ten seconds. I don't want that for you."

She heard his voice begin to fail as two more tears fell off his cheeks.

"And if you let me help you, I won't have it. Stop caring about me so much and care about yourself a bit more. Do you really think the best thing for you is for us to break up?"

"You'll find someone if we –."

"Eli, we're not talking about me here. Do you think breaking up is the best thing for _you_?"

So many times he attempted to look into two futures: one with Clare and one without Clare. His future with Clare included light, warmth, smiles, love, and family; the other, however, was dark, cold, and lonesome. Merely thinking of a life without her made his heart break and he doubted if he would survive if it became reality.

"No," he whispered after a brief moment of silence.

"Then we shouldn't. If I help, you'll get better and we'll both be happy. I know you think I don't deserve who you think you are, but I don't want to be with anyone else no matter what happens or what you do."

"You're not talking to the same guy you fell in love with, Clare."

"Yes, I am. Listen, you're just going through some setbacks and I'm willing to help you through them if you let me."

Eli just sat there and let a few more tears fall out of his eyes while he heard these words. She ran her hand over his head, his hair brushing against her hand, until she was gently cupping the back of his neck.

"Look at me, Eli," she requested softly.

He slowly lifted his head and looked at her for the first time since she discovered his secret. She wiped away the tear trails on his face gently with her free hand.

"Don't end this, okay? Let me be here for you and we'll figure this out together one day at a time."

He was mute for a second, replaying their entire conversation in his mind. She had listened to him, she did not think less of him, she was gentle with her words, and she was offering to be there for him and come to his rescue again. He would never fully understand why she was still here and why she was willing to stay by his side forever, but he doubted that he would find anyone else who would do this for him and be completely sympathetic all the while.

"Promise you won't leave?" he choked through a tight throat.

"Never," she vowed.

"And you won't . . . won't leave me because of the cutting and everything?"

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

"And I'm . . . I'm still your forever, right?"

"Always."

"Even when we fight and say things we don't mean and say stupid things to each other and –?"

"Eli," she said to him, putting a hand on his knee. "I'm going to be here through everything and anything. I promise."

She sat there patiently, allowing Eli to let all her words sink in to his mind. She prayed that her words would be enough for now so that way she would have the chance to show him that she meant everything she said when she returned to Toronto. After sitting quietly for what must have been three minutes, Eli finally nodded and replied with an "okay."

"Alright," Clare grinned and pulled him into her arms.

The second he was in her embrace, Eli was certain that she had meant every word she had said to him. Although feeling blessed for having her, he still had incredible guilt within him for putting all of this on her when it was not her responsibility. All the emotions finally getting to him, he held onto Clare and began to sob while he released the river of tears he had kept inside for too long.

"I'm so sorry, Clare. I'm so, so sorry."

"Eli, don't worry," she eased him, rubbing his back. "It's going to be okay."

For many minutes, Eli's tears leaked onto Clare's shoulder and she kissed his head and caressed his back.

"Don't go anywhere."

"I'm right here," she whispered. "I'm not leaving."

"I-I wanted to tell you and call you when something was on my mind but . . . I didn't want you to worry about me, get upset, think less of me, or break up with me because of it."

"It's okay, baby," she consoled him. "It's okay. I'm not mad, okay? But I am going to be worried because I care; you would be worried about me if it was the other way around."

"A-And you don't . . . don't think I'm . . . I'm pathetic or anything?"

"Never, Eli," she whispered to him.

He cried softly, tears of pain and relief cascading down his cheeks.

"You never cease to amaze me," Eli confessed.

"I know we're not going to promise to love each other for better or worse until June 14th five years and eight months from now, but I'm staying by it anyway."

"I-I don't want to lose you."

"And I don't want to lose you; and that's why we are never going to break up."

"I'm just so scared I'm going to lose you in the midst of this."

"You won't. I'm not going anywhere. And I'm always going to trust you, I won't find anyone else, and there's no way in hell that I'm going to fall out of love with you."

"Promise?" he asked.

"I swear. Deep breaths," she instructed after hearing him let out a couple of heavy sobs. "It's okay."

"Thank you, Clare," he said with a tone of appreciation that had not existed since his hoarding.

"You saved my life, remember? You were also there for me when I went through that stuff with Alyson, my parents' divorce, the trial and everything. This is the least I could do."

They leaned out of their holds and Clare took both of Eli's hands as they both looked at each other through clouded eyes.

"I promise to try to visit more."

"Me too," he said, knowing that he would have to help himself if he was ever going to recover from this. "And I'll . . . I'll try opening up to you more."

"That's good," she said, pleased that he was already taking steps to recover. "And I won't keep things from you anymore, okay? I'll also start talking to you again; no more of this only calling once a week stuff."

"Thanks," he said, relieved that he will finally be able to hear her voice more often. Another tear fell out of his eye as this crossed his mind, but this was the only one he felt shameful shedding. He hated crying in front of Clare; this was not the first time, but it still was not any easier to do especially after another six weeks apart.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't apologize," she assured to him, clearing the tear off his cheek. "We all need to cry every now and then."

"I-I just . . ."

"Shhh," she said. "You can cry in front of me just like how I know I can cry in front of you."

That sent a couple of more tears down his face and Clare sat there, reassuring him that she would remain by his side. Once the tears had faded, she took both of Eli's hands again and squeezed them comfortingly.

"If it's any consolation, I feel just as scared as you do."

"Really?"

"All the time," she answered.

"How do you keep yourself from going crazy?" he asked.

Clare placed her fingers on the pick on the necklace her gave her months ago.

"I hardly take it off," she told him. "Every time I take notice of it, it feels like you're with me. Whenever I start missing you, I just remember that you gave me your necklace and what it meant and the pain is numbed for a while. Then I talk to you somehow and I remember why we're doing this. And some days are harder than others, but in the end I know it's all going to be worth it."

Eli then pulled the necklace of the vial of blood out from its hiding place in his shirt before he wrapped his hand around it as it hung from his neck.

"I guess I should try doing the same thing, hu?" he grinned.

"It could help," she nodded before she put her hands on his lower thighs and rubbed them softly. "Whenever you feel depressed, scared, or anything, you call me. And if I don't answer, I promise to get back to you as soon as I can. I meant it when I said I'll do whatever I can to be with you forever even if that means phone calls in the middle of the night, driving up every weekend, anything; you name it I'll do it."

"Take care of yourself as well, okay?" he told her. "And I'll be here whenever you need anything. If you need to call me, you do it."

"I will," she promised.

They stood up and held each other in their arms.

"I love you so much, Clare."

"I love you too."

"You're the best girlfriend ever."

"You're the best boyfriend."

He smirked before stealing a kiss from her.

"This is really forever, isn't it?" he asked as she held him in her arms some more.

"Yes," Clare replied. "If you want it to be."

Eli held her tighter to tell her that it was, indeed, what he wanted.

"This wasn't exactly how I pictured your first time up here."

"Well, we still have the rest of the weekend; we can do whatever you want."

"I know, but . . . I just wanted it all to run smooth instead of . . ."

He trailed off, blaming himself and his habit for ruining his image of this day. Sensing his obvious – yet unneeded – guilt, Clare planted a soothing kiss on his neck.

"Eli, it's okay. I'm just happy I'm here with you."

They stood there in silence, holding onto each other and never loosening their grips. Eli consistently whispered his thanks into Clare's ear and she always replied by telling him that she would not leave him. After staying in this position for countless minutes, Eli's tears began to cease completely and she could feel that he was gradually calming down from the intense discussions they had since she discovered his cuts.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah," he said softly.

"Good. Now, we should get inside," she said. "It's getting cold out here."

"Okay," he assented, now beginning to feel the bitter chill of the night. Clare wrapped her arms around him from the side as he put one of his arms around her shoulders.

They silently went back to his room, their eyes beginning to lose the existence of tears. It was still empty of any persons, so they were relieved that they did not have to answer questions about their red eyes. They sat on his bed, their arms still holding on to each other; they were breathing deeply to calm themselves down while Clare rubbed her hand over his back.

"Are you okay?"

"I am now."

She then placed a kiss on his cheek before resting her chin on his shoulder as he kept his face against the crook of her neck.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you more," he challenged playfully.

They both grinned as the mood become less somber; they exchanged a quick kiss and smiled at each other to make it become genuine before they leaned out of their embrace.

"Can I take you on a date tomorrow?" he asked of her, taking her hands in his.

"If you want to."

"Good, because I have a place in mind as to where we can go."

"Where?"

"You'll have to wait and see," he said, determined to give her a surprise that actually had a positive outcome.

"I can't wait," she smiled at him.

Eli grinned at her again before planting a kiss on her lips before resting his head against hers. They focused on each other and exchanged light kisses until the sound of a door opening made them break apart. They turned their heads and saw Eli's roommate entering the room, closing the door behind him while not observing his surroundings.

"Hey Josh," Eli greeted.

"Hey," Josh replied, putting his bag on his bed. "How are you doing today?"

"Well, you know," Eli said, turning to Clare and putting his arm around her shoulders. "It started off a bit rough, but it eventually got better and now it's pretty great."

"Good," Josh said, slowly turning around. "You want to – oh!"

He jumped when he saw the girl sitting by Eli's side with his arm around her. They both smiled at Josh, who was still attempting to shake off the shock he received from seeing a stranger in the room.

"Josh, this is Clare."

A smile sprung onto Josh's face, remembering how this was the same girl in the pictures on Eli's side of the room and how he had a brief conversation with her on Skype not too long ago.

"Oh yeah," he said. "Nice to officially meet you."

"You too," Clare replied.

"It's great that you're here; maybe now Eli won't look like a depressed puppy twenty-four/seven."

"Depressed puppy? Really?" Eli remarked with a raise eyebrow.

"I kid you not, you're _all_ he talks about."

Clare started feeling embarrassed and she could feel herself blushing; she was astounded by how often her boyfriend actually thought of her. She understood that he missed her, but she never thought she was worth talking about as often as Josh said.

"He even mutters 'I love you, Clare' sometimes in his sleep," he mentioned.

"Okay, thank you," Eli intervened.

"Don't blame me," he said, holding his hands up in surrender. "I just speak the truth."

"Then you can't blame me if I ever tell Cathy about how you talk about her all the time whenever she's not around."

Josh crossed his arms, knowing that he had met his match.

"Not cool, Eli."

Eli just smirked in accomplishment and was relieved that Josh would not reveal any other details to Clare.

"Well, don't let me interrupt your time together. I'm calling it a night," he declared. "Goodnight, young ones."

"Goodnight," Clare replied.

Once Josh was stripped to his boxers and shirt, he got under his covers and fell asleep almost instantly.

"Does he usually fall asleep that fast?" she inquired, never seeing anyone doze off in such a quick manner.

"Yep, and he's a heavy sleeper," Eli informed her. "He'll only wake up to his alarm."

"Are you sure?"

"Watch," Eli said before cupping his hands around his mouth and facing Josh's direction. "Nudity!"

Silence ran through the room as Josh remained undisturbed by Eli's voice.

"We're good," he assured Clare, who was covering her mouth so she would not burst out laughing.

"So you mutter 'I love you, Clare' in your sleep?" she recalled once she maintained her composure.

"Well . . . I'm asleep so I don't really know."

"And you look like a depressed puppy?"

"He exaggerates," Eli chuckled. "But . . . I do talk about you a lot."

"You do?" she blushed, flattered that he found ways to bring her up in conversation.

"At least five times a day to different people; and they all actually want to meet you eventually."

Clare looked down at her legs as a coy grin came to her face; she then felt Eli's arm wrap itself around her waist before kissing her temple.

"Want to go to bed?"

"Yeah," she said, hoping that the redness in her cheeks would fade.

Clare got changed in one of the bathrooms while Eli remained in his room to strip to his boxers and change into a simple gray shirt. Once he was clothed, he took noticed of the many marks that now plagued his left arm. He swore under his breath for what he had done so often since his arrival in Ottawa. His girlfriend now had to face the injuries he gave himself and he was certain that their sight would cause her to feel uneasy; he himself felt sick looking at them from time to time because of how ghastly they appeared and their cause behind them.

He had half a mind to just keep the cloth over them, but he knew it was likely to fall off during the night. Hoping that he would be able to hide them, Eli climbed into the bed and pulled the covers over him as he lied on his side, keeping his left arm hidden at all costs necessary. The blankets concealed his arm without making it completely obvious that he was trying to hide it, which relieved him.

Seconds later, Clare came back into the room. She grinned at him before walking towards the bed; she was wearing a short sleeved light blue pajama top and matching pants. She climbed into the bed and scooted next to Eli; their bodies were touching since the bed left them with no other option, but this was perfectly fine by them.

"This is cozy," she told him.

"It is," he agreed, resisting all his temptations to take her in his arms just in case she saw the scars.

Clare continued lying next to him, resting her hand on his shoulder and granting him a smile. He grinned back and hesitantly put his hand on hip, hoping that she would not look under the covers to see his arm.

"I'm glad you're here."

"So am I."

She leaned in to meet his lips and he mirrored her movements. They kissed and Clare slid her arm around Eli's waist as he slid both of his arms around her, confident that she would not see the marks. The couple soon separated their lips and rested their heads on Eli's pillows, twining their legs together in the process.

"It's been too long since we did this," she sighed as she kept her arm around his waist.

"Tell me about it."

Eli held her tighter and Clare grinned at him, clearly content with being in his arms. He grinned back, wondering how she had been able keep so calm and thoughtful throughout the last couple of hours. He could not understand how she could sit there and not feel any anger towards him; he could not tell if she was keeping it hidden or if she was honestly at peace with what had passed, but he was grateful that she listened to him and did not make him feel worse.

"Clare," he said.

"Yeah?" she responded.

"I'm sorry that this wasn't exactly the best night."

"Stop apologizing, Eli," she told him. "It's over and now there's nowhere to go but up."

"I promise that the rest of this weekend will be better," he said to her, still wanting them to have a good time while she was here.

"Hey," she said, looking him straight in the eye. "A lot of good things came from tonight; don't keep dwelling on the negative."

"I know, but . . . I imagined us having a better first night in Ottawa."

"But this one wasn't horrible."

"But the cutting and everything . . . it wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

"Yeah it was unexpected and it may not have been the best time we ever had, but it's good that we talked about it. All that's left for us to do is work out the kinks in the long-distance and figure out a way to make everything better."

"I just don't understand how you're still willing to stick around."

Clare smiled at him, not being able to see the mystery in his statement.

"I'm sticking around now for the same reason I stuck around when you hoarded."

"And what reason is that?"

"Because I'm crazy about you, Goldsworthy," she said. "And that's never going to change."

Eli's smile slithered his way back onto his face, feeling immediate comfort as Clare said this to him. He was grateful for it and he vowed to himself to make her the happiest girl in the world someday; whether it would be tomorrow, next year, their wedding night, or sometime during their marriage, it was a goal he was determined to accomplish.

"I love you so much, Clare."

"I love you too . . . and I always will."

Both of them smiling at the words they had exchanged, the couple exchanged a final kiss before getting comfortable on the bed. Clare rested her head on Eli's chest as he moved the blankets over them; he kept his arm around her waist before laying his head on his pillows, thanking all that was good in the world that Clare was sleeping in his bed with him and was going to stay with him despite what he had done.

* * *

"_When you feel lost and scared to death _

_Like you can't take one more step_

_Just take my hand_

_Together we can do it_

_I'm gonna love you through it"_

_~"I'm Gonna Love You Through It" by Martina McBride_

* * *

Alright, after hours of writing, rewriting, editing, revising, listening to songs and checking online over and over again to be sure that these are the correct lyrics, I'm bracing myself for the words of readers . . .

Review!


	128. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

You guys are the most amazing reviewers ever! I am seriously in awe of the feedback and support you guys are giving me. And the fact that I am seeing more people come aboard to read this fic is amazing and I really cannot thank you guys enough for that. EClare filled chapter! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi and . . . yeah, that's it.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Eight

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

The sunlight emerged on Ottawa that morning, making the weather considerably warmer for the month of October. There were a few clouds in the sky and the ground was littered with many leaves as the sun shone down on the university. By eight o'clock, the world around the school was coming alive as were those inside the dorms on campus.

Clare slept with her head on Eli's chest throughout the night as he held her around the waist; they were at peace in their sleep and neither of their dreams had brought distress upon them. She awoke that morning, feeling the warmth of Eli's body against hers; she grinned at how safe she felt in his hold. She turned her head and opened her eyes to see that he was already awake and smiling at her.

"Hi," she greeted him.

"Hi yourself," he replied before gently kissing her lips. "Sleep well?"

"Very," she answered, resting her head on his pillow so they could lie on their sides and look at each other. "I've missed waking up to you."

Eli kissed her forehead in response.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked her in hope that she was not too affected by last night.

"Yeah," she answered. "You?"

"Too be honest, I don't really remember the last time I woke up without feeling some sort of dread or sadness."

"That's good," she smiled at him.

He met her eyes and he was relieved to see them glowing with happiness. As pleased as he was to see her in a joyful mood, an unresolved feeling of guilt was resting in his stomach about the night before.

"Listen, I'm sorry I was a bit of an ass yesterday."

"You weren't an ass," she reassured him. "We all get that way when we hold too much in."

"Yeah, but . . . some of the things I said yesterday were not exactly fair."

"They were understandable," she told him. "Don't feel bad about it; it's a good thing that you let it all out."

She smiled at him comfortingly and he found solace in her eyes; he still had a sense of regret in his mind, but Clare was not angry and that eased him.

"Today's a new day," he decided. "I'm going to try thinking about good things instead of always worrying about the negative."

"That's a good idea," she said, glad that Eli came to that decision.

"It may be easier said than done at times, but at least I have you to keep me going."

"And I'll be glad to be there for you."

These words gave him more relief and he could hardly recall why he felt pain and why he was so distressed lately; he had his future wife by his side to guide him through the good and bad, making him certain that he would never be alone. He grinned at her again before placing a soft kiss on her cheek and whispering "I love you" in her ear.

"I love you too," she echoed.

He moved his head back to his pillow and faced Clare again, whose head seemed to be somewhere else.

"Are you alright, babe?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Just thinking about something."

"About what?"

Clare inhaled, wishing that she did not feel haunted by her wrongdoings.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you by not answering your calls."

"Clare, it's a new day; we can put that behind us."

"But I feel horrible for doing that to you."

"Don't," he said directly. "You're not mad at me for the things I said yesterday and I'm not mad about what happened."

"But I would have been hurt if you did that to me, so it wasn't fair for me to do it to you."

"It's over, it's in the past; no harm done."

Clare, although appreciating how kind Eli was being about this situation, was not satisfied. She wanted him to believe her when she told him this and that she would not intentionally leave him in the dark again.

"Let's make another pact," she proposed. "In addition to always being honest, we won't ignore each other's calls unless it's necessary, we will not keep things bottled up with each other, and we call when we need to talk. Deal?"

"Deal," he echoed.

"So . . . can we start over?" she asked, hopeful that the last few weeks could be erased from their history.

Wearing a lopsided grin, Eli propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at Clare.

"I'm Eli, nice to meet you."

"I'm Clare, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," she played along.

"You have pretty eyes," he said to her, recalling his first compliment to her from when they first met over two years ago. He saw her blush slightly just as she did when they first met and it reminded him so much of the past that he was slightly taken aback when she spoke again.

"I think I'm already beginning to fall in love with you."

Eli resisted every temptation to kiss her fully on the mouth and therefore distracted himself by sliding his hand from the middle of her spine to the small of her back.

"I know we just met and everything, but . . . will you marry me?"

Clare smiled bashfully, getting lost in the charade.

"I will . . . only if you kiss me in the next three seconds."

Within half a second, Eli's lips were on hers and they were exchanging kisses of affection. Eli caressed Clare's lower back as she teased his lips with her own; he began to feel the desire to slide his hand under her shirt and feel her skin but he knew that this was not the time for that. This was their fresh start and he did not want to damage that by going too far when this moment was not meant to be about passion; plus having his roommate in there with them would probably make the moment uncomfortable. Fighting his yearning for her, he pulled his lips away and met her eyes.

"We're good then?" he asked, sliding his arm tighter around her waist so there was no space existing between their torsos. Clare smiled at him before gracing him with a kiss and resting her head against his, their eyes closed all the while.

"We're great."

They eventually disconnected their foreheads before they looked at each other again.

"So what do you want to do today?" he asked her.

"Well, I still want to go on that campus tour."

"Alright," he said. "But do you want to get some breakfast first? There's this good place on campus that serves great breakfast platters."

"Sounds great," she agreed.

"And I'll take you on that date I promised you some time tonight."

"I can't wait."

"Then what do you want us to do throughout the day whenever we're done with the tour?"

"I don't know," she answered. "We can talk, write together, watch a movie, or we –."

"Movie . . . dammit," he snarled.

"What's wrong?"

"I just remembered that I have work today."

"Oh," Clare said, now remembering how Eli had to work on Saturdays now.

"Don't worry. I can call and ask for the day off," he said, his time with Clare being more important to him than his job right now.

"No, don't stress yourself out with that."

"But you're only here for today and a bit tomorrow."

"I'm not going back to Toronto until five," she said, recalling that this when the bus back to Toronto would arrive that Sunday. "How long do you have to work today?"

"I start at noon and get off at six."

"That still leaves us with plenty of time together," she eased him. "We got the rest of the morning, all night, and all day until tomorrow evening."

"What about you?" he asked, not wanting her to be left alone all day with nothing to do.

"Well, it _is_ a movie theater; I'm sure I'll be able to keep myself occupied for six hours."

Eli was in awe of her optimism and he was grateful that she was being cooperative about the scenario at hand. Although he was unenthusiastic about not being able to spend every last second with her today, he understood that it was probably not the greatest idea to call and ask for a day off at the last minute.

"Okay, but you're not allowed to pay for any of your tickets, you can have unlimited buckets of popcorn, and you might want to sit in the very back."

"And why's that?" she asked.

"Because I may come in whenever I have a chance and steal a few kisses from you."

Clare giggled at the vivid image in her head of Eli coming into the theater halfway during a movie to begin a make-out session with her like they had done back home.

"Alright, but I may sit in the lobby for a while and watch my man at work," she said, wrapping her arm around his waist and resting her head on his collarbone.

"Which means you'll see me handing people their drinks, giving out tickets, and saying 'enjoy your movie' whenever I'm not vacuuming the lobby carpet."

"And you're wearing your uniform all the while . . . and I like that uniform," she whispered to him before kissing his jaw.

"You can be so weird, Edwards."

"Then I guess we're a perfect match," she retorted with a grin.

"No guessing about it," he concluded.

They exchanged yet another kiss before deciding that they should not waste any more time in bed and get ready for the day; the two of them took their showers and started getting ready. Clare returned to the room first, dressed and ready to leave whenever Eli was finished. Josh was still asleep and snoring on the other side of the room, but Clare did not pay mind; she was too busy looking at the pictures that were on Eli's dresser.

Her eyes explored every image until they landed on one near the front. It was of her and Eli over the summer when they were spending time with Adam and Alli; they were at the Dot and he had put his arm around Clare while she rested her head on his shoulder. Alli had her camera with her at the time and decided to take a picture of the couple. Clare smiled as she reflected on this day, but she felt sadness within her. This picture was taken four months ago and they were perfectly happy; they did not have to struggle with long-distance, they talked for hours on end, and they had little worries in their thoughts.

What frightened Clare was that she would not be in Ottawa much longer and she was horrified that Eli's daunting emotions would return after she left. She wanted him to be happy during university and not be distracted constantly by the thoughts of a future that seemed improbable to her; the idea of him being tortured in that way made her heart break and she did not want him to go through it alone.

"Hey," he greeted her as he stepped into the room.

"Hi," she replied, turning away from the pictures to see him wearing his jacket over one of his band t-shirts and dark jeans.

"The restaurant should be opening by now; if we leave now we may just be able to avoid the breakfast rush."

"Alright . . . but . . ."

"You okay?" he asked her.

Clare could not immediately answer this question, for her mood would completely depend on how he would react to the subject in her mind. She took a breath, afraid of saying something that would offend Eli or that what she would say will contribute to feelings coming back to haunt him. She was hesitant, but she was aware that it would be better to bring this idea to the table now instead of later on just in case his emotions returned and he needed a person to talk to . . .

"Is there a counselor or something here?" she asked.

"Y-Yeah . . . why?" he asked, feeling his stomach drop.

She swallowed the lump growing in her throat and met his eye, trying to find confidence and strength in herself to tell him what was on her mind.

"If you're as . . . stressed and worried as you say you are then . . . maybe seeing someone will help and –."

"No," he interrupted, feeling numb and ashamed that Clare had to suggest this to him. "That's out of the question."

"I think that it would help."

"I don't need to see a counselor."

"You said you were thinking about seeing a therapist."

"I was _thinking_ about it," he repeated. "But I don't need to see a therapist _or_ a counselor; I'm fine."

Clare clenched her teeth together to keep her jaw from dropping; it did not seem logical for Eli to completely change his mind like this within less than twelve hours and claim to be "fine".

"You're cutting yourself; you can't just . . . treat that like it's nothing."

He let out a low huff as a disbelieved smirk formed on his face.

"You think I'm unstable," he accused.

"No," she said quickly. "I just mean that it may be best if you talk to someone if you need to."

"You said that I can call you if I need to talk. What's the point in talking to some stranger who doesn't understand me when I can talk to my girlfriend?"

"You can talk to me, but there are some times when a counselor may be able to help you more. I'm at home and I won't be able to answer the phone all the time; the counselor will be here and you can go talk anytime and it will help."

"Clare, there will be things I would rather hear from _you_."

"Like what?"

"Like that everything is going to work out and that we aren't going to break up."

"Eli, I've told you those things a million times. When are you going to start believing me?"

"I always believe you, but I just need to be reminded of it."

"Okay," she said, comprehending this but not really understanding his need to resist her request. "I can understand that, but there is not a good reason why you cannot talk to me _and_ the counselor."

"I have you; I don't need to see a counselor."

"Please just think about it," she beseeched.

"Why is this such a big deal to you?"

"I'm worried about you."

"You don't have to worry."

"Listen to me," she pleaded. "I am going to worry about this and I'll feel a lot better if I know you're okay."

"But this is my issue, Clare. I have to be the one to deal with it all."

"I just think that a counselor may be able to help you with that."

"Why do you keep insisting that I talk to someone?"

"Because I don't want you to –."

She broke off, her voice getting caught in her throat as tears of past memories came to her eyes.

"You don't want me to what?" he asked her; his tone was calmer now that he was seeing the tears.

Trying not to cry, Clare sat down on his bed Eli soon followed; he took a seat next to her and took her hand, waiting patiently for her to talk. She sniffled a bit and cleared a tear out of her eye before it could fall. Thinking back on this memory was difficult and she avoided talking about it in hope that she would forget it all together. Unfortunately, she would not forget and she doubted that she ever would now that the past had come back to haunt her.

"After Darcy was raped, she tried to kill herself by slitting her wrist."

Eli had no idea that this happened and it alarmed him that Clare had actually been able to keep this to herself for this long. She had talked to him about what happened with Darcy after they started dating, but she rarely discussed it with him and she never told him about her sister harming herself. Now hearing this, he was surprised that she was able to remain so calm last night when he revealed everything to her.

"I'm sorry."

"I-I just don't want that to happen to you."

"Clare, I'm not trying to kill myself," he promised her.

"I know, but . . ." She sniffled again and took a deep breath before continuing. "It worries me that you had to resort to that because you didn't know how to handle everything and that's how Darcy felt and . . ."

"Come here," he said before wrapping his arms around her.

She leaned into his embrace and rested her head on his shoulder, allowing a couple of tears to escape her eyes. Eli held her in his arms, wishing that what he had done did not bring up horrible memories for Clare. If had known this sooner, he definitely would have been more cautious than before about hiding his cuts from her. She shook and he tried to soothe her by running his hand over her spine in slow motions.

"I'm sorry, Clare."

"That's just one of the reasons why I'm so worried about you; and . . . I want you to enjoy your time in university and I want you to be happy and . . ."

"I understand," he eased her after she replaced the end of her sentence with light sobs.

He sat there, struggling to decide about what he could do. Clare's security was a vital importance to him and he wanted her to be certain that he would eventually learn to cope with being away from home. He also understood that he was not exactly in a good place emotionally and that it would probably be best to have a professional help him through it; but it took all of his courage to tell the person he trusted the most, so telling a complete stranger who did not know his story made him very hesitant.

"I wish I could tell you I'll go talk to the counselor, but I can't."

"Can you tell me why?" she asked tenderly.

"I don't think I've tried helping myself enough yet; you know how I am and I want to try solving my own problems before taking that step. And I want to tell my parents about it before I see someone and I told you last night that I'm going to take my time in telling them."

"Okay," she said, trying to accept that this was Eli's pain and Eli's decision. What was unsettling to her was that he would probably continue feeling this way and that he would eventually hurt himself in a way he did not plan.

"But how about this?" he began, not wanting her to worry about him so much and to grant her the peace she deserved. "I will stop cutting and, when I think I will be able to and if things don't get any better, I will go talk to the counselor. And, if I ever get the time and money, I'll consider going back to therapy."

Horror was lifted from Clare's shoulders as he said this and she secretly prayed that he would somehow recover whether he had to see the a professional or not.

"Is that what you want?" she asked out of consideration.

"I want to get as back to normal as possible," he told her. "I'm going to do what I can to make that happen, but I need to go at my own pace with it."

Clare sighed, relieved that he was going to take this path that could lead him back to true happiness.

"That sounds fair," she assented. "Just remember that you can talk to me if you ever need someone to vent to or anything."

Eli grinned at her and kissed her temple.

"You'll be the first person I call."

Relieved, she removed her head from his shoulder and she coiled her arms around his waist.

"I'm glad to hear that."

"But I'm not going to be able to adjust to all of this overnight," he said. "It's going to take some time."

"I know, but you're a strong guy. You overcame your hoarding; I'm sure you can overcome this."

"I hope so. I'm still stuck with you then?"

"You bet; you can't get rid of me that easily."

He smiled at her and gave her a kiss on the lips before pulling her to into a friendly hug that she reciprocated.

"Thanks . . . you know, for caring so much."

Instead of answering, Clare held him tighter before leaning away and meeting his eyes. They both grinned at each other, relieved at how they had reached a compromise.

"Can we go to breakfast now?" she asked him. "I'm starving."

"Let's go," he agreed with a grin before they stood up, joined hands, and left the room.

()()

The two of them were now sitting in the local restaurant on campus, waiting patiently for their server to come to them with their menus. Clare did a brief observation from their booth; this restaurant reminded her of the Dot in terms of setting, but the mood of it was different in comparison. It was not as lively yet it had a friendly atmosphere similar to the Dot.

"Do you come here often?" she asked Eli, intrigued by his life at university.

"Once a day at least," he answered. "This is where I usually go for breakfast, but sometimes I make something myself or eat in the dining hall or I go to Starbucks."

"I guess the food must be pretty good here then."

"Yeah, and the staff here is cool. Speaking of which, there's someone here who wants to meet you," he stated, seeing their waitress come to their table.

Cathy was sort of surprised to see Eli there so early in the morning; what was more surprising that he was sitting with someone she did not recognize. Then again, she could only see the forest of brown curls behind her head so she could not make much of an observation until she was able to see the face of this person.

"Good morning, Eli," Cathy greeted.

"Hey, Cathy" he replied.

"Who's your –? Wait . . . you're Clare!" she exclaimed when she turned to see the face of the girl.

"I am," she said.

"Oh my God, it's great to finally meet you! Eli talks about you _all the time_! When did you get here?"

"Last night; I'm staying here until tomorrow."

"That's great!" she said with great enthusiasm. "Sorry, I get excited meeting new people sometimes."

"You weren't this excited when you met me," Eli reminded her.

"Hence the _sometimes_," she restated. "Besides, you talked about her so much that she seems interesting; you didn't seem that interesting when I met you."

"Ow, you just bruised my ego."

"You'll move on," she told him before passing them their menus. "Now what can I get you guys to drink?"

"Coffee please," Clare said.

"Me too," Eli said.

"Alright, I'll be back soon," Cathy said before leaving their booth.

"I like her," Clare said to Eli.

"Why don't the two of you go on a date then?" he glared at her kiddingly.

Clare rolled her eyes before reaching across the table to take Eli's hand.

"I'm a bit committed at the moment."

"Good to know," he said with a smile as he gently squeezed her hand. They soon disjoined hands and began looking at their menus. "I'm glad that you got to meet another one of your biggest fans."

"Biggest fans?" she repeated.

"Yeah, you're practically celebrity to my friends since I've mentioned you so much."

Clare's face was burning so red by the time Eli was done speaking that she had to use her menu to shield her face from onlookers. She could not believe that he had talked about her that often or that some strangers had already liked her because of everything her boyfriend had said to them.

"What do you tell these guys to make them like so much when they haven't even met me?"

"Not much," he said, although he knew he was stretching the truth. "I mean, I just mention how you're smart, funny, gorgeous, sweet, the love of my life, you make me smile, and that I'm going to marry you; nothing too big."

"Oh yeah, nothing at all," she grinned with light sarcasm.

"It's not my fault that you're brag worthy."

Clare rolled her eyes and continued to blush until she saw Cathy come back with their coffee and to take their orders. They exchanged quick conversation with her when she was taking their orders and Cathy observed how happy Eli was in comparison to the last few weeks. She was delighted that her friend was smiling again and that his girlfriend was there to make that possible.

The two of them ate their breakfast and were finished by nine, leaving them with plenty of time to explore the university grounds before Eli had to get ready for work. They each said farewell to Cathy – who told them that she hoped to see them around later – before exiting the restaurant.

The next couple of hours involved the two of them wandering around the campus with Eli being the self-designated tour guide. He told Clare where they were, what classes were in each building, and he shared some stories about what he had experienced in that particular area. The architecture of the buildings and the layout of the campus in general were breathtaking to Clare; halfway through the tour she felt herself wishing to fast-forward through her next seven months of high school just so she could be here on a daily basis.

"So what do you think?" he asked her once they were back in his room.

"I see why you like it here so much," she answered as she sat down on his bed. "I'm surprised you actually want to come back to Toronto."

"Well, Toronto is my home," he replied as he sat next to her. "It also has my parents, my future in-laws, and my future wife."

She grinned at him and took his hand.

"It's not the same without you."

Eli kissed her lips virtuously before scooting closer to her and moving their hands onto his lap.

"I can't wait until you come here next year."

"That makes two of us. Now I just hope that the rest of the year doesn't go too slow."

"Until then, we need to figure out how to make the long-distance relationship go smoother," he began.

"Definitely," she agreed immediately, wanting to prevent any future problems that would occur because of the distance. "What can we do differently to make it work better?"

"Should we keep texting 'I love you' every morning and night?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Maybe we can even talk a bit then if we have the time."

"That works for me. What else can we do?"

"Well, we can talk every night if we can; we can also have some of those study dates on Skype like we used to."

"Loving it," he approved. "And we should still find time for our long-distance dates."

"We should," she said. "But, whenever we feel like things aren't going well or don't feel right, we _need to talk about it_."

"Right, we can't everything bottled up because that will just lead to a fight."

"Exactly," Clare nodded, ecstatic that they were both on the same page with this.

"We should also make some sort of agreement to visit a minimum of once every four weeks unless things come up that cannot be avoided."

"Absolutely," she permitted, not wanting to go another month and a half to see Eli again.

"Good, we got some stuff sorted out. Now we just have to see if it will work."

"But if it doesn't, we need to keep working on it until we find something that keeps it going. No giving up."

"You read my mind," Eli stated.

"At least this is only for a bit longer."

"And the holidays are not that far away; I'll be home for a while then."

Clare smiled at the thought of Eli being home for a few weeks in the winter; life at Toronto would feel normal again and she would not have to say goodbye to him after only seeing him for a few days.

"We can get through this," she said before she met Eli's lips. They shared this kiss, each of them finding a new confidence and hope in their long-distance relationship now that they had made the effort to solve their problems.

After they were done, Eli noticed that his digital clock on his dresser read eleven forty, which means that he would soon have to leave the dorm and get to the Ottawa Cinema. He excused himself to the boy's washroom to change even though – as Clare reminded him – there was no reason for him to leave the room when she had seen him naked twice before. Eli simply told her how he needed to use the bathroom anyway when he just did not want her to see the marks on his shoulders and arm.

When he was getting changed in the washroom, however, he noticed that he had left an important material in his room. The scars on his left arm were perfectly visible at the end of his uniform sleeve; he had forgotten to retrieve the cloth that usually concealed the marks, which meant he that would have to try his best to keep them from Clare's sight until he was able to cover them up again. Hoping that she would not notice, Eli exited the washroom with his other clothes draped over his plagued arm. He stepped into the room, trying not to draw attention to himself; Clare was leaning against the wall next to his bed, reading one of the books that Eli had on his desk. She averted her eyes to the entrance of the room as he closed the door behind him; she gave him a grin in greeting and he reciprocated, attempting to hold back his nerves.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Yeah, just one moment," he said, walking over to his desk. He watched Clare's head turn back to the book before dropping his clothes in his chair and catching sight of the black cloth he had been putting around his arm for the last few weeks. He kept looking his shoulder to see if Clare was noticing, and he was always relieved when she was not; but he was so paranoid that he was constantly checking and he was not paying much attention to tying the cloth around his limb. He did this over and over again and he never seemed to be able to watch Clare and tie a knot at the same time.

Eli growled, annoyed that the fabric would not stay around his arm long enough for him to tie it. He kept his back to Clare and he coughed to cover up his sound. But Clare already heard him and she got off the bed and began walking towards her boyfriend; she looked over his shoulder to see what he was struggling to do with the fabric.

"Here," she volunteered, walking in front of him and tying it. If it was just the two of them alone together, Clare would have stripped the fabric away from him and told him that she did not mind the cuts. But they were going out in public and she was sure that the last thing Eli wanted was a reputation or to be judged by others who did not understand what he was going through.

"Thanks," Eli said as she secured the cloth around his arm; he was relieved that the scars were already hidden from sight by the time she came to his aid and that he she seemed to be fine with helping him.

She then cupped the nape of his neck and kissed him. It was not the sort of kiss Eli was expecting; he thought she would give him a peck on the lips and be done with it. Instead, she kept them there for many seconds and she made it as loving as possible. As she kissed him, rested her free hand on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her waist. After kissing for a few seconds, she slowly unconnected her lips from his and she slid her hands down to his torso.

"Wow," he breathed, overwhelmed by the kiss.

She grinned as she rested her hands on his chest and moved her eyes to his body.

"You're staring," Eli informed her as she ogled at him.

"Sorry," she said, turning her eyes to his. "It's not my fault that you're so sexy in this."

"What do you like so much this uniform?" he asked, believing that he did not look attractive in it at all.

"The guy wearing it," she answered before giving him a wink.

He smirked at her, flattered by her compliment. He planted a kiss on her lips again before reluctantly pulling away from her.

"Ready to go?" she asked, seeing that they had ten minutes to get to the cinema.

"If you are," he answered, inwardly wishing that he could miss work today so he could spend time with the love of his life.

()()

They arrived at the cinema a few minutes before noon; since the day was still considerably early, it was not crowded and the other employees were either devoting their services to the moviegoers or were cleaning out the theaters for the next showing of a film. Once Eli was clocked in and was behind the counter, he gestured for Clare to step forward so he could be the one who attended to her.

"Now, what movie shall you like to see?" he asked her.

"Um . . ."

After a second of consideration, Clare selected a movie that had been in cinemas for a couple of weeks.

"Alright," Eli said, before pulling out his wallet from his back pocket and extracting money from it.

"Eli, I'll –."

"Nah-ah," he interrupted. "No girlfriend of mine who rides a bus for five hours and is a complete angel to her boyfriend will pay for her ticket."

Clare grinned slightly as Eli passed her the ticket he purchased.

"Thanks."

Eli then moved from the ticket counter to the concession's stand, never taking his eyes off Clare as she moved with him.

"It's on me; get whatever you like."

Clare, not wanting to let Eli spend much more on her, skimmed at the options before making her decision.

"I'll have cola and some Raisinets," she told him.

"That all?" he asked.

"Yep."

"Alright then, coming right up."

Within a matter of seconds, Eli was giving her a box of Raisinets and a cup of cola and was paying it with his own money.

"You don't have to –."

"I want to," he told her as he purchased the snacks.

He looked at her, a reassuring smile on his face. Unable to argue with the gleam in his eyes, Clare grinned back and collected her concessions.

"Thanks."

She closed her eyes and prepared to lean towards Eli, who put his hands on her shoulders to stop her.

"Sorry, no affiliations with customers while behind the counter."

Crestfallen, Clare relaxed her face and opened her eyes. Before she could speak, Eli stepped around the end of the counter and walked to his girlfriend. He put his hands on her hips after checking that there was not a soul watching them.

"I'm not behind the counter anymore . . ."

He gently pressed his lips to hers and she reciprocated. He could feel her smiling against the kiss and he once again found himself resisting against the thoughts going through his mind at that point in time. Forcing himself to remember that they were in a public area and that he was working, he reluctantly freed her lips.

"Your movie starts in half an hour; that means we're going to get a lot of people coming in soon."

"Which means I must depart," she sighed dramatically.

"Alas, my weary heart is breaking," he replied in the same tone before they exchanged grins. "Remember to sit in the back."

"Oh, I will."

They exchanged a quick kiss before he released Clare and watched her go towards the exit of the lobby and to the hall where all the movies were.

"Enjoy your movie," he told her before she was out of earshot. "I'll come join you when I can."

"I'll be waiting."

He watched her leave before returning to the counter, his mind replaying all of the positive memories the two of them had that morning. Grinning, he returned to his place behind the counter in high spirits.

"Hey, Gary," he greeted the only other coworker there at the time.

"Hey," he replied gloomily as he leaned his back against the counter with his arms folded.

"You okay?" Eli asked as he observed how Gary was not himself on this nice day.

"Not really," he answered bluntly. "Why are you in such a good mood?"

"My girlfriend's visiting for the weekend. What's with you?"

Gary let out an annoyed sigh before turning to Eli recalling why his attitude was not exactly upbeat like it usually would have been.

"Haley and I got into a fight during our date last night."

"About what?"

"I don't even remember," he confessed. "But I guess I said something and then she got mad and then I got mad and now we're not talking to each other."

"That sucks."

"Yeah, and she's been avoiding the lobby all day just so she won't have to see me; that's why she's helping Devin with cleaning out the bathrooms and theaters."

"Oh, what a pity."

Eli and Gary turned their heads to see Devin coming towards the counter. Gary rolled his eyes and faced Eli again, who also seemed to be annoyed by their coworker's presence.

"I actually like the help she's giving me," he stated, walking behind the counter and looking between the two of them. "It's like a lot of pressure is lifted off my shoulders."

"In other words, she's cleaning most of the theaters while you're only doing one," Eli assumed, familiar with Devin's laziness.

"Hey, I took care of a couple this morning," he said, raising his hands in defense for a moment. "But, Gary, if you're interested in mending things with Haley, I know a way you can do so."

"Like I'd ever take relationship advice from you," Gary scoffed.

"Hear me out," Devin said. "I just saw this hot girl going towards a theater and if Haley sees you making conversation with her, I'm sure she'll be running back to you."

Eli rolled his eyes, disgusted that Devin would suggest using some innocent girl like that.

"We're already in a fight," Gary reminded him. "If she sees me with another girl, she'll end it for sure."

"Give it a try," Devin encouraged.

"No," he argued.

"She's really hot," he described. "She has a sexy body, curly hair, a nice rack, a great ass, and her legs are _incredible_."

When Devin mentioned the girl's hair, Eli began to pay more attention to the conversation. He tried not to get annoyed immediately just in case he was talking about another female, but he needed to be sure.

"Was she wearing a dark blue blouse?" he inquired.

"Yeah, but I wasn't looking at it if you know what I mean."

Eli rolled his lips, resisting every temptation he had to kick Devin in the groin then punch him in the face.

"Devin," he began, trying not to let his temper get the best of him, "do me a favor and _don't_ pimp my girlfriend out to other people."

"Hu?" he remarked, furrowing his brow.

"Yeah, that was my girlfriend; she's visiting from Toronto this weekend."

"Oh, well, my apologies," Devin said with a chuckle. "I guess I didn't know since she was _all alone_."

"Shut up," Eli said, already feeling guilty that he was not spending time with Clare this very second.

"I have to hand it to you, newbie, you got yourself a good one; she is a good-looking girl."

"I know, now will you stop talking about her like that? She's _my_ girlfriend."

"Chill," he said before leaving the counter and walking towards the men's bathroom.

"If he even _tries_ to hit on Clare, he is not going to live to see tomorrow."

"He won't," Gary assured him. "And I won't even think about using her to make Haley jealous."

"Much appreciated," Eli said. "Don't worry, you and Haley will get things sorted out in no time."

"I hope you're right," Gary sighed.

Eli wanted to keep up his good spirits, so he tried his best to not dwell on his irritation at Devin. He was determined to make sure his coworker did not cross anymore lines, but he was not going to look for trouble. For the next hour, Eli and Gary tidied up the lobby and conversed whenever they were not attending to customers. Haley would step through the lobby on occasion, avoiding Gary's eye all the while. Devin was unseen for the majority of the hour; he would either sneak in a theater to watch a movie, go outside to have a cigarette, or remain in the bathroom.

Once Eli had a free moment on his hands, he journeyed down the hall to find the theater Clare would be in and crept inside. He skimmed the theater through the darkness and saw Clare watching the movie in a row at the very back; attempting not to disturb the other patrons, he carefully moved towards her and took his seat at her side.

"Hey," he whispered to her.

"Hi," she grinned, turning to him. "How's work going?"

"Slow, but that's how it usually is when all of the movies are playing at once. I'm just glad that I can take a break now."

She grinned and gave his lips a gentle kiss before looking at him as though she was reluctant to speak.

"Um . . . so . . . I think one of your coworkers checked me out earlier . . . and . . ."

"Yeah, that was Devin," he said with slight aggravation. "He mentioned seeing this hot girl and – although I do agree with what he said – I told him to back off."

"Thank you," she said with great gratitude. "He creeped me out a bit."

"Have no fear, my love; he shall not bother you again."

"You're the best."

"I try. So are you enjoying the movie?"

"What movie?" she said flirtatiously.

Eli grinned at her before wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She then met his lips and they began to kiss passionately; she opened her mouth to allow Eli's tongue entrance and they swallowed each other's moans. She put her hand on his right shoulder as he slid his hand onto her hip.

"Won't you get in trouble for doing this?" she asked him, only taking her lips away by a centimeter.

"Not if we don't get caught," he whispered before capturing her lips again.

Caving into the feeling of his kiss, Clare wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back as powerfully as she could. Their lips and tongues teased and fought, both of them getting lost in the moment. Eli's love for her taking over his actions, he slid his hand upwards until his hand was under her blouse and resting on her waist.

"Getting a little frisky there, aren't we?" she giggled as she broke the kiss.

"Sorry," he said as he kept his hand still. "You're irresistible."

Smiling, Clare pecked his lips before looking at his eyes again.

"When do you have to get back to work?" she asked, tugging gently at the collar of his maroon uniform polo.

"Not for a few more minutes . . ."

He then put his lips to her neck and graced it with many kisses. She bit her lips to keep herself from moaning; if she was not completely in love with the feeling he was causing her to experience, she would have considered protesting so they would not disturb anyone around them. But she could not resist the pleasure she was feeling and her eyes fluttered closed as she tried to control her breathing so she would not draw attention to them. The longer Eli kissed her skin, the more she found herself wishing for the two of them to be back in his room, on his bed, and were sharing a moment of deep intimacy. A smile coming to her lips, she put her hands to his shoulders and gently pushed so his lips were away from her neck.

"I'm sure that the others are wondering where you are by now."

"Trying to get rid of me?" he smirked.

"No . . . which is why I think we should continue this in your room tonight after that date," she answered suggestively. "Just you and me . . . lights off . . . and maybe we can convince Josh to give us some alone time . . ."

He smiled at her before putting her lips one his for one final kiss, absolutely enthusiastic about this plan of hers.

"I can't wait," he said before standing up and exiting the theater, rarely taking his eyes off Clare in the process.

* * *

"_Take it to the good times_

_See it through the bad times_

_Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do"_

_~"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by The Starting Line_

* * *

Next chapter will be better, I promise.

Before I leave you guys to write what is to come, I must tell you guys to check out this incredible Campbell/Maya fic! It is called "Scars and Secrets" and it is written by the talented Eclarexoxo! Check it out and I promise you that you won't be disappointed! It is one of my favorite fics of the moment and I am waiting as patiently as possible for an update. Go read it, everyone!

Review!


	129. The Power of Love

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for your reviews! And thank you for those who have subscribed to me and/or this story and to those who have added me and/or this story to their favorites list and for those who have given me feedback on twitter. I really appreciate it.

Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi . . . not even a little bit, not even at all.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Nine

The Power of Love

For the rest of Eli's shift at the movie theater, the two of them found their ways to pass the time and still be in each other's company at every moment possible. Between showings of movies, Clare would either talk to Eli or would converse with Gary in the lobby since Haley was still avoiding him. Much to Eli and Clare's reliefs, Devin did not interact with her for the rest of the day. Whenever she was watching a movie, Eli would always join her in the theater for a few minutes and they would have a small make-out session or else they would flirt with each other.

Eli was finished with his shift by six and was able to watch the last fifteen minutes of a movie with Clare. They left the cinema afterwards and he took her out to dinner before they went on their actual date for the evening; she had no clue where he was taking her, but she was definitely excited. The months of being away from home never altered the romantic in him, so she honestly had no idea how spontaneous or thoughtful this surprise would be. She was currently sitting in Morty as Eli drove, focused on the road so they would reach their appropriate destination.

"Alright," he said as he parked the car some minutes later. They both climbed out of the hearse and Eli stepped behind Clare to cover her eyes with his hands before she had a chance to take in her surroundings.

"Eli!" she nearly squealed.

"You won't be surprised if you're looking."

The anticipation building within her, Clare was guided by Eli until she felt him stop and she saw able to feel a gentle breeze against her face.

"Okay . . . here we are," Eli said, uncovering his hands from her eyes.

A smile came to Clare's lips when she saw where she and Eli were; they were standing on the boardwalk next to the Rideau Canal and she was looking right at the peaceful water. The glow of the streetlights was radiating off it and the moon against the evening sky made the scene breathtaking.

"It looks beautiful."

"I did good then?" he asked, hoping that she truly enjoyed the location of their date.

"You did great," she assured him.

She felt him plant a kiss on the side of her neck as he coiled his arms around her middle and her smile grew on her lips in the process. Smiling at the feeling, she put her hands over his and leaned her neck back slightly to allow him more access.

"Now that I think about it, we have had five dates in one day."

"You think so?" he said, intrigued how she came to this conclusion.

"Think about it; we went out to breakfast, then a long walk around campus, then the movies, then dinner, and now this."

He grinned at how she saw the positive aspects of this day despite the miniscule confrontation they had that morning and the hours she was unable to spend time with him due to his job.

"Then is it safe for me to assume that you had a pretty good day?" he presumed while he continued to plant kisses on her.

"I had an amazing day."

"I'm glad," he said before revoking his lips and nuzzling on her shoulder.

"And the night is just getting started . . ."

She gently rubbed her back against his front to remind him of the promise she made him in the theater for them to have a special night together in his room. She heard him let out a soft moan before slowly pulling away from her shoulder so he could look at her.

"You drive me crazy sometimes."

"I thought you loved that about me," she remarked with a smirk.

"Believe me, I do."

He gave her a peck on the lips before they turned their heads back to the canal; Clare smiled as her body remained against Eli's.

"You know what?" he suddenly spoke.

"What?"

"Since I didn't come to your dad's wedding, I never got to see you in your bridesmaid dress."

"You didn't," she recalled, grinning as this came to her mind. She never thought of it, but now she was coming to the realization that Eli would not have to see her in a garment that did not flatter her at all.

"Were there any pictures taken?" he asked.

"Oh God," she said, recalling how _many_ relatives at the reception were there with cameras.

"Ah, then I guess this means I _will_ get to see what you looked like."

"No you won't," she said pointblank.

"Why?" he complained.

"Because it made me look like a green fish," she explained.

"Come on."

"I'm serious," she retorted.

"I'm sure you're a very beautiful fish."

"Beautiful and fish do not exist at the same time."

"You realize that you just insulted many species of fish, right?"

She rolled her eyes in exasperation, but this was betrayed by the smile on her lips.

"Are we really having this conversation?"

"We wouldn't be if you weren't so stubborn."

"Why are you so desperate for you to see me in it?"

"I'm just remotely curious since I wasn't there to see it for myself."

"You should consider that a blessing."

"But would you really deprive your boyfriend of it when he missed you oh-so much and really wanted to dance with you at the wedding?"

"Since we're talking about my potential humiliation, then yes."

"Please, Piglet?"

"No, Fluffy," she countered.

Eli let out a huff of defeat, knowing that Clare was not going to change her mind no matter how hard he tried.

"This isn't over," he told her.

"Your determination is inspiring."

"But, all desire to see your dress aside, I really did wish I could've been there with you."

"It's alright," she assured. "You didn't miss too much."

"I wish I could've been there to dance with you at least."

"It's fine," she restated. "Just be sure to dance with me at our wedding."

"Now _that_ I wouldn't miss for anything."

"Good . . . because I actually started thinking about it while I was at my dad's."

"Really?" he asked, wanting to know where this was going.

"Yeah and . . . now I just want these next few years to go faster so we can get married. I mean, I saw my dad and Alyson dancing and they were close before, but seeing them there made me see this bond that I didn't know they had; I just want us to have that someday."

"We will," Eli promised as he kissed behind her ear.

Giggling, Clare turned her head down out of reflex. Eli soon retracted his lips, but her head was still facing downward and noticed the cloth around her boyfriend's arm. She rolled her lips as she recalled what he was hiding and she felt her heart break for him. He had to deal with so much recently and now he had to mask the outcomes of the pain. She grazed her fingertips over the cloth before turning around in his arms to look at his eyes.

She thought of the cuts she had seen last night and she swallowed any terror she had; she was still greatly concerned about Eli and she did not want him to continue to do this to himself. Standing there, she remembered how he promised to stop cutting and she sincerely hoped that he would keep his word.

"You said that you used your pocketknife to cut yourself, right?"

"Right."

"Do you have it with you?" she asked.

"Yeah, why?" he inquired.

Clare met his eyes, already being able to read the apprehension within them even though she had not really gotten her words out yet.

"You said you were going to stop cutting, right?"

"Yeah," he answered.

"Then get rid of the temptation," she instructed. "You can't cut yourself if you have nothing to cut yourself with."

The pocketknife in his jacket pocket felt like a hundred pounds as Clare said these words. Was she truly suggesting what he thought she was suggesting?

"You think I should get rid of it?"

Clare nodded, hoping that she was not rushing his progress; she only wanted what was best for him and she believed that saving him from harm was the right action to take. She watched Eli put his hand in his pocket and withdraw his knife; it sat in his slightly shaking palm and Clare never took her eyes off him.

Eli gazed down at the knife in his hand, not sure if he would be able to part with it. Although it did not have any sentimental value to him, he could not imagine letting it go and never using it again. It had done damage to his body, but it did good deeds for him at times when he was most desperate for relief; even when he reflected hours later on his actions and saw that he made a mistake in harming himself, he could still remember the serenity it gave him at the time. The very thought of losing that sense of peace in moments like those was earthshattering to him.

"I-I don't know."

"Eli, you can do it; let it go."

"I don't think I can. This has been with me for a while; I'm not sure if I will be able to get by if I don't have it."

"You don't need to harm yourself to get you from one day to the next. You just have to keep thinking of a better tomorrow."

"But should I just rid of the knife just like _that_?"

"Do you want to stop cutting?"

"Yes, but . . ."

"Then do it if you think you need to," she said. If she had it her way, she would have snatched the knife out of his hand and threw it in the water by now, but Eli had to be the one to do this so he could prove to himself that it was possible to cope without administering pain and that there was a light at the end of this tunnel. "If you get rid of it, get rid of it because that's what you want."

"I want to . . . I'm just . . . scared."

"I know," she said. "But that will pass and everything will get better. And you're not alone in this; you can call me every time you have that feeling when you feel like you need to cut. If you don't get rid of the knife, you may not call and cut instead and you know that is not going to help. I'm not saying you have to get rid of it because that's your choice, but think before you make the decision."

These words echoing through his brain, Eli kept his eyes on the weapon in his hand and breathed. He pictured a world without cutting and with Clare; it was brighter, they were smiling at each other, and he did not have fear. He was aware that this would be merely a dream for now and would continue to be one until he did not having the craving to take a blade to his skin on a daily basis; he wanted this to be reality and he was positive that it would with time because he had someone to depend on . . . he had Clare.

Taking a deep breath and forcing all hesitation to retreat for three seconds, Eli focused on the blanket of water before throwing the knife as hard as he could. It went pretty far and made a small splash as it vanished from the air and sunk to the bottom of the canal. He felt a mixture of accomplishment and loss; the blade of that knife was his best friend and his worst enemy and was not sure how to feel without it. He closed his eyes and grabbed the railing of the boardwalk tightly, his knuckles turning white as he breathed through his nose.

"How are you feeling?" Clare asked tenderly, gently smoothing her hand over his upper back.

He was silent as he pondered on his answer, not wanting to give her a response that would make her disappointed in him. If he had to be honest with himself, he felt lost. He did not know where he would go if no one could be there for him and there would be nothing there that would help him to release the pain. The knife was an escape, a friend, and a savior to him on his darkest days and he wondered if he would be able to survive the ones to come in the future now that it was gone.

"Eli?" he heard Clare's voice say. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I just feel . . . numb."

She continued caressing his back, listening to his breathing, and praying that he would feel better once he had come to terms with the knife being out of his possession.

"This was for the best," she said as soothingly as possible. "You told me that you wanted a fresh start and now you can truly have it."

"It doesn't feel that way," he confessed. "It feels like I've taken a step back."

"You don't need to cut, Eli," she reminded him. "There are other outlets you can use. You can call me, you can listen to music, or you can turn that pain into something good."

"Like what?" he asked.

"You can turn it into a play, or a story, or you can even write a poem about it if you need to."

Lifted his head and opened his eyes, everything seeming a bit brighter now after looking at nothing but the inside of his eyelids for three minutes. He took in Clare's words, not doubting that her advice could be beneficial; he did a lot of writing after Julia's death and – although they were stored in the attic at his home now – every piece he had created allowed him to release his pain and it allowed him to be free for a short period of time. Knowing that he had his girlfriend's support along with a coping mechanism, he now had no choice but to move forward to where there were would be many opportunities for downfall as well as triumph. He took a shuddering breath before releasing the railing and turning to Clare, who was looking at him with watchful eyes.

"It's a long road ahead," he said, comprehending how he would not always have a positive outlook on every day and that he would crave to bleed on the darker moments of life.

"But I'm going to be there every step of the way," she swore to him before pulling him into a loving embrace. He nuzzled on her shoulder as she held him and continued caressing his spine. She heard him breathing and she hoped that he would somehow learn to cope without having cutting as a crutch.

"Clare?" he said quietly.

"Yeah?" she replied, shifting her head to look at him. She met his eyes; they were cold and full of longing.

"You're never going to stop loving me, right?"

Clare shook her head before giving his cheek a gentle kiss.

"Not even if I tried," she whispered as she leaned away.

When he heard those words, his eyes became softer and they began to glow warmly.

"Are you okay?" she asked him, hoping that this did not ruin their Saturday for him in any way.

"Yeah," he answered. "Now I just have to take everything one day at a time."

Relieved, Clare held him tighter before turning her lips to his ear to whisper, "I'm proud of you, Eli."

He took many breaths and Clare waited patiently for him to recover from the huge step he had just taken.

"T-Thanks for not going anywhere," he said to her at one point.

"Like I would ever leave you," she replied. She felt him relax a bit more in her arms after these words left her mouth, so she was certain that Eli was gradually coping with the anxiety he was currently having and that he would be himself again soon.

Feeling himself calming down from the unease that these last ten minutes had given him, Eli's breathing eventually went back to normal and he leaned out of Clare's hold.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked him as she looked at his eyes.

"Yeah," he said honestly. "In a bit of shock, but I'm fine."

"Okay," she said softly, giving him a grin to show him just how impressed she was by his courage.

"Thank you," he said.

"Don't mention it."

"No, seriously, I am the luckiest guy in the world."

"Then I guess it makes sense for luckiest guy to be with the luckiest girl . . ."

She found a way to take hold of both of his hands before pressing her lips to his, not wasting a second in turning the atmosphere from unnerving to passionate. As soon as she felt his lips part, she pushed her tongue into his mouth and gave him the most ardent kiss she could. Eli was hesitant at first, but he began to participate more when he felt more of his anguish melt away; knowing that Clare was staying with him and was willingly giving him this kiss made him all the more sure that she would be with him forever no matter came their way. He felt her pull away from his lips sooner than he liked, yet seeing her eyes become clouded with lust made a new feeling spark within him . . . the feeling of desire.

"Come on," she said sultrily before stepping backwards to lead him to Morty. "We have a lot to celebrate tonight . . ."

()()

Now that Eli was on this new road and that another tense portion of her visit was over, Clare was determined to make the rest of the weekend worthwhile for him. He had opened up so much and had made so many goals for himself in the last twenty-four hours that she believed that he needed a night for them to forget the world and only focus on their love for each other. She had implied this to him earlier today at the theater, but now she was more driven to make it an extraordinary night for him.

The two of them soon returned to his room, their hands joined together. Clare opened the door to the room, slightly disappointed to see Eli's roommate sitting at his desk. She thought Josh was a good person, but she really wanted to make this night special for Eli and that was not going to happen unless they were alone.

"Hey Josh," Eli greeted.

"Hey. Did you two enjoy your day together?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"Good," his smiled. "Got any . . ._ plans_ for tonight?"

"We're just going to spend some time together," Clare understated.

"Got it," Josh said, sensing how Clare was not telling the complete truth. "Well, I'll see you two later."

"Where are you going?" Eli asked as Josh stood up from his seat.

"I'm going to see if Cat wants to have a _Lord of the Rings_ marathon," he informed, seeing how they needed some privacy. "You two behave yourself and don't make a mess on my side."

Clare's face morphed from pale to red as Eli gave Josh a push on the shoulder before he exited the room.

"Is he always that . . .?"

"Blunt? Crude? Yeah, pretty much," Eli said as he sat on his bed and slid off his shoes.

Clare smiled and took off her own shoes as she allowed the surplus of red to drain away from her face.

"So . . ." she said as she sat down next to Eli on the bed. "It seems like we have the room to ourselves for a few hours."

"We do, don't we?" he observed with a smile.

He slithered his arm around Clare's waist while she scooted closer to him. She placed her hand on the side of his neck and their lips met halfway in a kiss. His tongue dove into her mouth the second she consented by parting her lips; she felt him put his free hand on her knee and she put her other arm around his upper torso. She felt the vibrations as Eli moaned against the kiss and she shuddered at the sensation. Smiling, she pulled her lips from Eli's and he took advantage of the opportunity to stare at her eyes.

"You're beautiful," he told her.

She merely blushed and rubbed her foot against his in a flirtatious manner.

"How about we turn off these lights?" she whispered to him.

"Sounds good," he agreed before getting to his feet and walking towards the light switch. The room was soon pitch black except for the lights outside the windows and the glowing light from Eli's digital clock on his dresser. The butterflies began flying wildly within Clare and they increased even more when Eli returned to the bed.

"Now . . ." he said, putting his arm around her middle again and waiting for her to give him a hint as to where they should go from here. Hoping that it would inspire things to move along, he put his lips back to hers and he felt her reciprocate. They were back to kissing as they were before, but this time Clare's hand was not stationary to his neck. He felt her right hand rest on his abdomen then begin to glide upwards over his shirt; she followed a path over his stomach, across his chest, and over his heart until finally resting on his shoulder. She slid it under his jacket, signaling Eli to rid himself of the garment. With help from Clare, the jacket was off him and lying on the floor within seconds. His arms free from the sleeves, he cupped Clare's face and continued kissing her passionately, never daring to break away.

He teased her lips and her hands rested on his chest, wishing that she could see his body without the shirt. Not wanting to get ahead of herself, Clare tried to only focus on kissing Eli. As she did, she felt Eli slide his hands away from her face and down her sides. She forced herself to deepen the kiss and clutched onto the front of his shirt when his hands slid under her blouse and his arms held her waist.

"I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too."

They continued hungrily, both of them expressing their emotions for each other through their kisses. Continuing to fondle each other's lips, Clare slid her right hand to his shoulder, squeezing it gently. She soon smoothed it down his upper arm, but stopped when she reached the end of the sleeve and felt a new material under her hand. She detached her lips from his before turning her eyes to his arm; she found an end of the fabric that she tied for him that morning and rubbed it between her fingers.

"What do you say that we take this off?" she suggested. "Then maybe this . . .?"

She gently tugged at the hem of his shirt with her free hand, knowing that he would take the hint. When she turned to see his eyes, however, her heart dropped; instead of containing a flaming passion as they did before, they possessed coldness. She felt himself retreat his hands from her body and she hoped that she did not cross a boundary by suggesting this. If she did and he was preparing to tell her that they could not go very far, she would be slightly disappointed. She would put Eli first, but she had been looking forward to this since their rendezvous in the theater that afternoon and she did not want it to be swept away from her.

"Eli?"

"Sorry," he said. "It's just . . . you know what's underneath."

Clare released his shirt before taking his hands and looking at his eyes.

"You know you don't have to hide them from me, right?"

"I know, but . . ."

"What?" she asked softly.

"I don't want it to make things awkward between us or anything."

Understanding instantly, Clare put a firmer grip on his hands and gave him a gentle grin.

"Eli," she began softly, "it won't change anything between us."

Eli did not budge, clearly unconvinced. Hoping that it would encourage him, Clare scooted closer to him and put her lips on his as gently as she could. She felt Eli return the kiss, causing the moment to become less worrisome for him. Her kisses always gave him reassurance when he needed it and this was not an exception; he felt less hesitation and he was feeling more confident in what she had told him. He reflected on last night and how she was alarmed at first, which was reasonable for someone in her position. Although he did not know what to expect this time, he knew that he could not hide them from her forever and that she would have less of a reaction now that she was aware of their presence. He had a decision made by the time she had pulled her lips away from his, but he did not accept her request instantly.

"It won't change anything?" he asked, needing to be sure that she would not leave his side if she saw his wounds again.

"Not a single thing; I promise."

Breathing in and out as quietly as he could, Eli swallowed his worry; Clare had already heard and seen so much over the last twenty-four hours that he was certain that she would not turn away now, especially when it was upon her request.

"Okay," he spoke softly.

Giving him a comforting grin, she put her hands to the fabric and undid it to allow his skin to be exposed to the world; they were not as frightening as they were the night before now that she knew what to expect. She did not keep her attention on them long out of respect for Eli; she turned her eyes to him before fingering the bottom of his maroon polo again.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Do you want us to get rid of this for a while?"

Still showing hesitation but not as tentative as before, Eli took a breath and reached for the hem of his shirt. Hoping that the scars would magically disappear, he pulled the material away from his body and sat still as he waited for Clare's reaction; the idea that she was now seeing all of his self-inflicted wounds at once made his heart turn to stone and he started to feel more regret.

Clare swallowed as Eli turned his eyes downward so he would not have to look at her; he focused on the covers between them as she focused on his skin. His left shoulder had more damage in comparison to his right; the cuts, although they were fading gradually since they were healing, were visible on his skin. Many of them were going in a single direction; they were not long gashes like the ones on his forearm, but these were deep and frightening nonetheless.

His right arm, however, had cuts that went in different directions as though he was using his subdominant hand or did not have a decent handle with the prevalent one. Either way, these ones did not seem as deep or as ailing in comparison to the left arm. By observation there must have been a maximum of fifteen cuts on his shoulders and it created tears in Clare's heart. Wishing that she could have relieved his emotional pain before this happened, she gently slid her hand over his shoulder.

"I would've come up sooner if I'd known."

"I know," he spoke softly. "I'm actually starting to wish I did tell you sooner; you probably would have had a better first weekend in Ottawa."

"Well," she began, slithering her hand from his shoulder to his chest, "it may have been a bit bumpy at the beginning but it's definitely gotten better . . . especially now that my loving boyfriend is in the same bed as me without a shirt."

Eli's eyes snapped up to meet hers as a smirk formed on his lips.

"Yeah," he said, the misery in his tone being overpowered by cockiness. "I guess that is a benefit for you, isn't it."

"It always is," she said, seeing that she needed to put more smiles in his life.

Without hesitation, she molded her lips back to his; she locked her hands behind his neck and began lying down on the bed and bringing him with her. She rested her head against the pillow as Eli hovered over her. They kissed sweetly, slowly returning to the fire they were creating before.

"Have I ever told you that I really like your body?" she asked him, leaning her head back.

"Mm," he responded, kissing down her throat. "If you haven't, this time will count."

Unable to resist, he moved his kiss to the skin that was exposed at the collar of her blouse. He glided his lips to the top of her sternum, planting kisses there for the first time in a while. Clare licked her lips, disbelieved by the feelings she was having because of Eli. The butterflies were dancing to the music of his breaths and she found herself comfortable enough in this situation to take this one step further.

"Eli."

"Hmm?"

She gave his shoulders a gentle push, forcing him to ease away from her. Before he could ask any questions, she smiled at him and put her fingers to the top button of her blouse. His eyes dilated and she grinned at how astonished he was.

"It's getting a bit hot in here," she explained, her hands traveling down as his eyes watched every button glide out of the slit.

"Clare," he said, a moan accidentally slipping out in the process.

Her left hand abandoned the fourth button and she pressed her index finger to his lips, silencing the protest she knew he would be forming in his mind.

"You took your shirt off for me," she reminded him. "Plus, like I said, it's getting hot."

After seeing that he would not oppose this, she began unfastening the remaining buttons and watched all of his reactions. Speechless, Eli's eyes stared at the skin that was peeking through the slightly open blouse. It looked as smooth, white, and soft as he remembered and he fought every need he had to kiss and touch it all at once. His eyes journeyed to her chest and he could see her cleavage in company with a small part of the black bra she was wearing.

"There are no words in the English language to describe how magnificent you are," he said bluntly, forcing his eyes to look straight into hers. She smiled at him modestly before sitting up slightly to shrug the blouse off her body and drop it on the floor.

"Then why don't you tell me without saying a word?" she suggested, putting her arms around his chest and lying back down on the mattress.

Taking her up on this suggestion, Eli hovered over her and met her lips; he administered every ounce of built-up passion, desire, and lust he had for his girlfriend and gave it all to her in his kisses. Every time his lips granted her with these emotions, her toes would curl and she would feel her blood begin to boil. Her hands traveled over his back, clawing at it at times, as he moved his lips to the corner of her mouth.

"R-Remember our first night together?" she breathed.

She felt him grin against her skin and she felt herself flushing red.

"How can I forget?" he said, traveling his lips from her mouth to her jaw.

"And prom night?" she recalled.

He remembered. He remembered how seductive she was, how gorgeous she looked in her prom dress, how gorgeous she looked when he eventually stripped the dress away from her body, the way she moaned and cried his name as he made love to her, how soft her flesh was, how everything she did always sent him closer to the edge . . .

"Are you trying to make me horny?"

Clare chortled before moaning as she felt Eli give her a love bite on her neck.

"It's times like this when I wish we were already married," she confessed to him as her mind began to drown in ecstasy.

"Me too," he agreed, trying to keep his body under control. After not being with intimate with Clare – or anyone for that matter – in so long, the feelings were more overwhelming than they usually would have been, but he did not want anything to happen that would startle his girlfriend or make her uncomfortable.

"Touch me?" she then asked of him. For as long as they have been lying down, he had been using his arms as supports so his body would not collapse on top of hers, but she only wanted to feel his hands on her skin. She felt him smile mischievously against her neck before his left hand rested itself on her waist; she sighed at the feeling of his hand against her skin and she was becoming more lost in bliss. What truly made her mind go into frenzy was when she felt his other hand come in contact with her heart. She gasped at the sudden sensation and it instantly caused Eli to slide his hand to her shoulder.

"Sorry."

"No, no sorry," she said hurriedly. "You can put that back."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Grinning up at him, she unwound one of her arms from him before taking hold of his right wrist; she softly kissed his palm before laying it over her heart again and her own resting on top.

"More than sure," she answered.

Eli gave her a chaste kiss on the lips before focusing solely on the beat of Clare's heart; it had an erratic rhythm and he could feel it pressing against his hand with every beat it made.

"Your heart is racing," he told her.

"Thanks to you," she mentioned.

Eli felt his face grow warmer, feeling flattered as Clare said this to him. Even when Clare removed her hand to guide his lips back to hers, he still continued to feel her heart. She never asked him to move his hand, much to his pleasure, and he left it alone for no less than five minutes. She whimpered at the loss of his hand when he eventually moved it to rest on her shoulder. To make for this, he kissed under her ear and then traveled down to her neck. His lips became acquainted with her weak point and she began to giggle breathlessly. He stopped kissing her and smiled, keeping his face against her body all the while.

"I love hearing you laugh."

He then moved his lips to her collarbone and that was when Clare tangled five of her fingers in his hair. She involuntarily tugged at it when Eli grazed his teeth against her skin or when he would whisper to her. He soon went back up to her lips, giving them the most attention yet. He would caress his hands over the sides of her body at times, barely brushing the sides of her breasts before returning them to her waist. In retort, Clare would rest her hands on his chest and kiss it, knowing that it would make him squirm. Each of them feeling accomplished in giving pleasure to the other, they continued kissing heavily for another fifteen minutes.

When they both began to hear how out of breath the other was, they knew that they had better stop being so intimate for the night and eventually separated their lips. Eli rested his head against Clare's and they both attempted to take in more oxygen, their chests meeting every time they inhaled.

"Whoa . . ." she breathed.

"Yeah," he agreed, still trying to calm down from the rush this last hour had given him. "And just when I was thinking that you couldn't get any more incredible . . ."

Clare blushed, amazed that Eli felt this way about her and that she had caused him to feel alive just as he made her feel alive.

"You're pretty incredible yourself."

His lopsided smile stood on his face for a second before he blessed her lips with a final kiss of passion.

"Tired?" he asked as he pulled his lips back.

She nodded, knowing that she had used all her energy in order to be intimate with Eli.

"Would you mind if I borrowed one of your shirts to sleep in?" she asked.

"Not at all," he said before kissing her forehead. He then climbed out of the bed and went to his drawer to retrieve a fresh shirt for her before going over to his chair to pick up the band t-shirt he wore earlier that day for himself. While he did this, Clare slid out of her jeans and pushed them onto the floor and Eli stepped out of his workpants before he returned to the side of the bed.

"Here," he said, passing her a simple black shirt.

"Thanks. Um . . . would you mind averting your eyes for a minute?"

"Sure," he said, reluctantly turning his back on her after he slid on his shirt.

His back now facing her, Clare sat up and unclasped her bra; she kept watching Eli the whole time, hoping that he would not sneak a peek at her bare torso but wishing that he would at the same time. He remained still the whole time and she quickly slipped the shirt on so he would not have to remain a statue.

"Alright," she said as she stuffed her undergarment in her backpack next to his bed.

He turned around before sliding in next to her, eyeing his girlfriend in the process.

"I've always loved how you look in my shirts," he said, fingering the hem of the shirt at the side and scraping his knuckles against her thigh in the process.

"You're really sweet," she said as she blushed.

"Sickly sweet?" he asked apprehensively, knowing that would be going too far.

"No, just sweet," she assured.

He smiled and kissed her lips as he put his arm around her lower back; he rolled over on his back, wrapped his other arm around her, and let her rest on top of his body. She laid her head on his chest and sighed contently as Eli continued holding her. Both of them growing tired, the couple closed their eyes and got comfortable.

"Clare," he said.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"Thanks for a great night."

Clare smiled and planted a kiss on his jaw, pleased that she was able to make this a pleasant night for him.

"Anytime," she said right before the two of them feel into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

"_The sound of your heart beating _

_Made it clear _

_Suddenly the feeling that I can't go on _

_Is light years away"_

_~"The Power of Love" by Celine Dion_

* * *

This chapter was originally twenty pages on Word, so after doing some thinking and after getting some input from people on twitter (thank you all), I decided to split it into two chapters. So, basically, the next chapter is ready to post whenever. All I have to do is find a song and that won't be too hard to do. You guys let me know when you want the next chapter and that's when I'll post it.

Recommendation: "Mistletoe Kiss" by degrassibear.

Review please!


	130. Your Guardian Angel

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

OVER 1,600 REVIEWS! I want to invite all of you over to my house and give you guys a huge cake with EClare's faces on it because you all deserve it! Thank you all! I am really ecstatic by all the feedback. I really cannot thank you guys enough!

Shout out to Jessie's Wonders for all the support and for being just awesome. You rock!

Fluff chapter . . . well, for the most part. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. I burn, I pine, I perish . . . okay, that has nothing to do with what we're talking about, but we're reading a lot of Shakespeare in my AP English class, so I have _Taming of the Shrew _on the brain.

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Chapter One Hundred Thirty

Your Guardian Angel

The couple had a small breakfast at Starbucks the following morning, both of them replaying the memories from the night before in their heads; they woke up with smiles on their faces and joy in their hearts. They exchanged several kisses before finally deciding to get out of bed and go get some breakfast. Going out to eat gave Clare the opportunity to see a bit more of university life and Eli took advantage of the moment by pointing out a few of his classmates to her. A couple of them also came to speak to him and he introduced his girlfriend when they asked who she was; they were polite, but none of them were not as enthused as Cathy and Josh since these were more acquaintances than friends.

This continued when they made their way back to his room. Since they spent most of their Saturday moving around and hardly being able to spend a great amount of time together, they decided to take advantage of the Sunday to relax in each other's arms. On their journey there, Eli saw a couple more of this friends and he would mention to Clare what role they played in his life.

"And that's Gwen over there," he said, nodding to a girl who was sitting with a group of friends on a bench outside the building that neighbored the Stanton Residence. "She's in Drama Club with me."

Clare noticed Gwen and she tried her best not to feel intimidated; she was surprised that Eli had so many female companions and how pretty they were. It was not that she found herself as ugly and she did not doubt it when Eli called her beautiful; what was unnerving was that there were so many girls here and she was just waiting for one of them to be another Kate but she would not be around to keep an eye on them this time.

"You got a lot more friends here than I thought," she told him as they entered the dorm.

"I wouldn't exactly call a lot of them friends," he corrected. "I consider a lot of them classmates more than anything"

"Do many of them have boyfriends or girlfriends?" she asked, hoping that he would bring her peace of mind.

"I don't know; we don't speak that much about our personal lives."

"Oh."

"Wait . . . you're not worried, are you?"

"Not _worried_," she admitted.

"Paranoid?" he remarked, knowing how their history with Kate could affect her perspective of the females around him.

"Maybe a little," she confessed.

Eli tightened the grip he had on her hand as they entered the elevator; after pressing the appropriate button to take them to their floor, he turned to her and gave her a reassuring smile.

"You have nothing to be paranoid about."

"You said that before," she reminded him, thinking in retrospect to nearly a year ago when he believed that Kate was not going to come between them.

"But things are different now. We weren't thinking about marriage then and now we are; I'm going to be more cautious. I promise, no other girl is going to steal my heart."

"Are you sure?"

"Let's put it this way," he began when they were able to step onto the correct floor. "You are the only girl I want to sleep with through the night."

"Do you mean that in the literal or figurative sense?" she asked with a grin.

"Would you get mad if I said both?" he responded, leaning closer to her so no one else in the hall would hear them.

She bit her lips and felt her face glow pink, not imagining how she could be mad at him. His lips met her temple before he opened the door to his room; they saw Cathy and Josh inside, him sitting on his bed while she stood beside it as she squeezed a stress ball.

"Hey guys," Cathy greeted once they noticed that the couple was inside the room. "Where have you two been?"

"Getting some breakfast and walking around," Eli answered as they took a seat on his bed. "What are you guys up to?"

"Nothing much," Josh said. "But it is the day of rest."

"So what do you think of U of O, Clare?"

"I like it," she said, enthusiasm in her voice. "I'm really looking forward to coming here next year."

"Awesome," Cathy smiled. "I know _someone_ who will be very happy about that."

"She's right," Eli said, facing Clare with elation in his eyes.

"Aww," Josh commented.

Cathy rolled her eyes at how he was teasing Eli's affections towards Clare.

"Oh, Eli, guess what," he began once the couple was facing them again. "I almost got a date with a girl today."

"Almost?" Clare repeated.

"Don't get him started," Eli muttered to her, knowing how long Josh's stories could last, especially when they included him pursuing a woman. But it was too late and he began recalling it all with great detail and with great speed . . .

"Well, I was going to the dining hall to get some breakfast when I remembered that I left my wallet up here. I get on the elevator, planning to go get my wallet; but when the elevator stopped on the floor, this cute brunette came on and she said hi to me and I said hi back. I wanted to talk to her some more, so I stayed on the elevator. When she asked me if I was getting off, I told her that I thought that I forget my wallet when I didn't although I really did. We made small talk all the way down to the lobby and then I ask her if she wanted to get some breakfast . . ."

Eli had stopped listening at this point and turned his eyes to Cathy, confident that she would be able to be more empathetic than Josh when it came to this situation. He blinked at her and she made eye contact with him, noticing how he was attempting to send her a nonverbal message. He subtly jerked his head in the direction of the door, hoping that she would understand and not get offended by what he was implying to her. She gave him a small nod, which he returned in thanks.

". . . But then she tells me she had to get to work and she didn't have time for me to go get my wallet, so I tried my best to convince her to –."

"Hey Josh," she said, interrupting his monologue. "We never finished our movie marathon."

"I'm in the middle of the story."

"You can tell the rest of it later," she stated as she tossed his stress ball on his bed. "Come on, we only made it halfway through _The Two Towers_ and I refuse to only watch half of the trilogy."

"Fine," he grumbled in surrender.

He rose to his feet and he and Cathy made their way towards the exit, much to Eli's relief.

"Have fun," Clare told them.

"You too," Cathy said.

"But not too much fun!" Josh hollered in jest before Cathy closed the door behind them.

Eli rolled his eyes before turning back to Clare.

"Now that we're alone . . ."

He hooked his arm around her middle and eased her onto the bed until they were both resting their heads on the pillows. Eli soon began caressing Clare's waist from under her shirt while she gazed at him with a grin on her face.

"That feels good," she purred, goose bumps forming on her skin.

Eli smirked at her before leaning forward to put his lips to her neck, which caused even more chills to cover her body.

"Now _that_ feels really, _really_ good."

"I'm glad," he whispered to her neck.

Clare smiled and twined her legs with Eli's, wanting to be as close to him as she could. After giving her neck more special attention for a couple more minutes, he slowly leaned away and met her eyes.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked, continuing to stroke her side.

"Mm-hmm," she hummed.

"Was there a reason why you were so . . . adventurous last night?"

"Was being adventurous a bad thing?" she countered.

"Not at all," he said hurriedly. "I just didn't expect us to go that far since we haven't really gone that far without going all the way."

"Well, I was away from you for a month and a half and I wanted us to have a special night together . . . and I missed the way you touched me."

"So it had nothing to do with the . . .?" he trailed off.

"Not at all," she said honestly.

He felt a knot in his stomach become undone, appeased that his habit had not driven her to be intimate with him.

"In that case . . . you are an _extremely_ sexy woman, Clare Edwards."

She turned her head into the pillow in attempt to cover up half of the redness that was now appearing on her face. She could not recall the last time he addressed her as this and she had forgotten how it felt to be given that particular compliment.

"You're blushing."

"I know," she groaned.

Seeing that Clare was too flustered to have a genuine smile on her face, Eli decided to help create one for her. He gently brushed his fingers over the side of her stomach and it was not long until his girlfriend could no longer retain her giggles. Eli smirked in accomplishment when he saw her smiling as well as laughing.

"E-Eli," she gasped out.

"Sorry," he said with mild satisfaction when he stopped his fingers. "I forgot that's your weak spot."

"No, you didn't," she glared playfully.

"Alright, I just like hearing you laugh," he confessed.

"Congratulations, you made me blush like mad and laugh like an idiot in less than a minute."

"I do consider that an accomplishment," he said with pride.

Clare hid the rest of her face in the pillow, which caused Eli to smirk. He slid his hand away from her stomach before completely circling it around her waist; hoping that it would encourage her to look in his direction, he put his lips to the crook of her neck and began traveling them upwards. He followed the veins of her neck, grazed his lips on the pulse, and eventually paused beneath her earlobe.

"Permission to kiss you?" he asked, whispering to her ear.

She smiled before turning her head to him and fulfilling his wish. She felt him unwind his arm from her and found her hand; he entwined his fingers with hers, caressing her lips with his all the while. They each hummed as they kissed before pulling away and grinning at each other.

"I wish you didn't have to leave in a few hours."

"I wish I didn't have to leave at all."

"Just say the word and you can live here with me," he said, wishing that she would take this suggestion seriously no matter how impossible it was.

"I would probably take you up on that if I was out of high school."

"Really?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "So . . . how would you feel if I suggested us sharing an apartment together next year?"

"You mean like we . . . move in together?"

"Yeah, but only if you want," he added. "If you would rather live in a dorm or your own apartment, that's fine."

"Actually, I think it's a good idea," she said with a smile.

"Are you sure? I don't want it to feel like I'm rushing you or anything."

"I think we'll be ready for that by next year," she assured him. "Plus it will give us time to get used to living with each other before we get married."

"So you really wouldn't mind us moving into an apartment together when you come here next year?" he clarified, glad that she was onboard with this idea when she would have been against it over half a year ago when they first planned on getting married.

"Yes," Clare answered. "We can even share a bedroom if you want."

"Are you sure?" he asked, hoping she was being serious.

"We can share a bedroom," she began to answer as she played with the collar of his jacket. "And I'm more than willing to share a _bed_ with you."

"_Please_ tell me you aren't teasing me," he nearly begged.

Clare chuckled before putting her lips to his jaw and slowly kissing it.

"Teasing you? Now would I ever do such a thing?"

"Well, it is _you_ we're talking about here, so . . . definitely."

Clare smiled and pulled her lips from him.

"You know me so well, Mr. Goldsworthy."

Eli smirked and connected his lips with hers, pleased that he would soon be sleeping next to her every night. They kissed lovingly and virtuously, wishing that they would never have to part their lips. When they did, Eli rested his forehead against Clare's as she moved her hand down to his sternum.

"Now we just have to wait until I graduate."

"That's not too long from now; it'll be here in a flash once you get back from England."

"Yeah," she said.

"I think that's going to be the hardest part," he stated. "I'm going to watch you go to a different country and wait three months for you to get back."

"But we'll be spending time together when I do and then you should be back home a month before I graduate."

"True, but those three months away from you are going to be torture."

"I'll still Skype and call you," she reminded him. But when she spoke, she looked in his eyes and she saw a light in them while the wheels in head started to turn. "What are you thinking?"

"How would you feel if I came to visit you in England once a month?"

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said. "I would try to just stick it out for three months, but I think I'd lose my mind if I didn't see you for that long."

Clare was so in awe of this suggestion and she desperately wanted to accept it immediately. But she knew that they had to think through this and be sensible before making a decision like this. For her, Eli visiting would have nothing but benefit; for him, however, there was a lot more to take into consideration and she did not want him wasting anything on her.

"You're afraid of heights."

"I'll survive," he said with a shrug.

"And plane tickets are expensive; I'm going to start working weekends soon just to pay for mine."

"I have money saved up and I can easily work overtime on Fridays and Saturdays."

"But I wouldn't want you getting jetlagged and then not being able to function normally when you get back."

"It'll only be three times; I'm not usually functioning correctly most mornings anyway."

"But you're in university and there's your job to think about and –."

"Clare, let's say that money, time, and school are not an issue and everything else somehow works itself out. Would you want me to come visit you in England?"

Clare pulled back her lip and considered his proposition, not pushing all of her conflicts to the side. She would miss Eli and she would yearn to be in his arms while she was in England; seeing him every month would be a delight and it would make her feel a bit more at home.

Eli sat there and the silence was not the reaction he was expecting; he was hoping that she would be overjoyed by this news and that she would embrace the idea. To his dismay, all she was focused on doing was giving him reasons not to bother thinking about it. A pit formed in his stomach as he considered why she was putting up such a defense and he only wished that she could be upfront about it all instead of letting him down easy.

"You can be honest with me," he said to her directly. "If you don't want me to come visit you –."

"No, I would love it if you did," she voiced, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "I just wouldn't want you missing out on anything."

Eli smiled at her in relief before kissing her head. "I would be in England with my girlfriend; everything else automatically lowers in importance."

"But –."

"Babe," he interrupted, "I'll take care of school and everything. It's your call now whether or not you want me to come see you."

Clare barely had to consider, for she was sure that she would miss Eli greatly and she would want to see him at any given opportunity.

"_Please_," she said in an octave that was slightly higher than her own. They smiled at each other before resting their heads together and gently brushing noses.

"If you insist."

Clare laughed before resting her head back on his pillow; he propped himself on his elbow and looked down at her, grinning at how comfortable she was.

"I kind of like sleeping in a small bed with you," he told her.

"I know how you feel," she said, sliding her hand down his torso and then around his waist. "I like holding you all night more than any stuffed animal."

"But at least you have your panda at home," he mentioned, saddened how he would not have anything to hold onto that would remind him of Clare.

"But it's never as good as this," she stated, scooting closer to him before kissing him. He rubbed his hand against her back as he returned her kiss and treasured the time he had left with her.

"Do you want me to drive you back to Toronto so you don't have to ride the bus?" he asked when Clare had stopped kissing him.

"That means you'll have to drive for ten hours."

"But I'll get to spend five extra hours with you."

"But that means I won't be able to talk to you for the other five hours because you'll be driving. I think it would better for both of us if I texted you on the bus and I call you when I get back to my house."

Eli, not even needing to think about this option, grinned immediately

"I like the way you think . . . but I'm going to start missing you the minute you get on that bus."

"Just think," she began, "by this time next year, you and I will have our own apartment, we won't have to miss each other, and we'll be able to have plenty of nights like last night and days like this."

A jubilant smile crossed his lips, clearly thrilled with the future she had illustrated. Keeping this fresh in his head, he put his lips to hers and kissed her powerfully. She kept her arm over his waist as he cupped the side of her neck and brushed his thumb over her jaw. After many minutes of fondling each other's lips, Eli pulled away and looked straight into Clare's crystal blue eyes.

"How is it possible that I lived so many years of my life without you?"

"I like to think you were just waiting for me and you just didn't know that I was coming," she answered with an innocent grin.

Eli smiled, grateful at how fate brought her into his life even though he had to wait for her without knowing that she would come his way.

"That sounds like a solid theory," he whispered before their lips became reconnected.

()()

Eli held Clare in his arms as they stood at the bus stop a few hours later, not paying any attention to the other awaiting passengers around them. They were waiting for Clare's five fifteen bus to Toronto to arrive; it was ten minutes after five, so they were slightly disheartened to have only a final five minutes together. Clare held onto the sides of his jacket as he glued his hands to her hips; she rested her head on his shoulder and he rested his cheek on her head as they swayed on the spot.

"Are you sure you still want to come here next year now that you've seen the campus and everything?" he asked.

"Absolutely," she replied. "I just have to get in now."

"You will," he told her with confidence. "I'm attending a university ran by morons if they don't accept you."

Clare grinned before she unplanted her head from his body to look at him.

"Planning on coming back home any time soon?" she asked him with hope in her voice as she tugged on the jacket.

"I promise to come back for winter break for sure, but I'll see if I can come down before then."

"Just don't miss me too much."

"Now you're asking me to do the impossible," he informed her as he moved his hands in small circles on her hips.

She chuckled lightly before stepping a bit closer to him so there was less space between them.

"I promise to handle the communication better this time around."

"Then I can safely assume that you will call me tomorrow around four?"

"It's a phone date," she declared.

"Great."

"Now remember that you can call me whenever you need to; anytime, day or night. And I'll Skype whenever I can."

"Sounds good."

"Call me when you need to, okay?"

"Okay."

"If you ever consider hurting yourself –."

"I'll call you immediately."

"Promise me."

"I promise. Try not to worry, alright? I'll be fine."

"I'm going to worry, Eli."

"But it's going to be okay. Call me if you need to know that."

She nodded, hoping that this was just a bump in the road and that nothing worse will come of it. Before they could speak again, they saw and heard the bus arriving and parking; the driver opened its doors to allow any passengers to exit before allowing the new ones to come aboard. In that instant, Clare knew that she would soon have to depart and leave Eli here.

"I really don't want to leave yet."

"You're welcome back here anytime you want," he informed her. "If you ever miss me too much or if you ever need to get away from Toronto, I'll be here."

"I may just do that whenever I want to avoid going to Alyson's every other weekend."

"But if you have to go and she gets on your nerves, my phone is always on."

She smiled at him, pleased that they could each turn to each other and they would always have their significant other for support.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he said, hoping that he was telling her the truth. He looked at her, recalling all she had said and done this weekend that helped him in the most remarkable way imaginable; thankful beyond the expression of words, Eli pulled her closer to him until they were embracing. "Thank you."

"For what?" she asked.

"For being here for me when I needed it."

"I'll always be here," she promised him.

Believing her with all of this heart, Eli held her as close to him as possible and cherished the feeling of her in his arms. After a couple more minutes of holding onto Eli, Clare looked over her shoulder to witness how many passengers were starting to file onto the bus. Seeing that this was the time to say their final farewells, Clare faced Eli again.

"One more kiss?" she endeavored of him.

He complied and compressed his lips to hers and gave her the most loving kiss he could muster. Into this kiss he poured all the devotion, gratitude, and longing he had for this girl and he did not want her to forget it. He refused to pull away too soon and was grateful that she did not retreat her lips from his. After kissing her for a decent amount of time, he reluctantly pulled away.

"Call me tonight?"

She nodded before pulling him into one last hug.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, sweetheart."

Halfheartedly stepping out of his arms, Clare leaned down to retrieve her backpack from the pavement.

"We'll see each other in less than a month, right?" she clarified as she hoisted the strap onto her shoulder.

"Absolutely," he vowed, not wanting to go too long without seeing her again.

Once she was standing up straight, she cupped Eli's jaw one last time and kissed his lips.

"I love you," she said once their last kiss came to a close.

"I love you too."

Choking back the tears, Clare turned away from Eli and towards the line for the bus passengers. As she waited, she turned her head to Eli and they exchanged another silent goodbye; he forced a grin onto his face and waved as she did the same. When she was able to climb on the bus, she tore her eyes away from her boyfriend and bit her lips to keep herself from letting out a sob.

Clare sat near the back of the bus and put her backpack in the seat beside her so she could sit alone. She turned her head to the window and saw Eli staring at her; she smiled at him to the best of her ability before she heard the doors close. Her heart jolted at this sound, for she knew that she would soon be taken away from Eli and they would be separated again.

She gazed at him and felt a warm tear roll down her cheek and she wiped it away with her hand as quickly as possible. Eli noticed this no doubt because he then wrapped his hand around the vial of blood around his neck; Clare did the same with the guitar pick on the necklace she was wearing. As they held onto these symbols of their commitment to each other, the engine of the bus roared to life and it slowly began to move.

Clare waved at Eli from her seat; he waved back, the familiar pain coming back to him as he did. The future was not exactly set in stone and he was aware of the obstacles that could lie ahead and he was fearful of facing them without having Clare by his side . . .

But she was going to be by his side even if when she was three hundred miles away. She would call, email, Skype, anything she had to do to remind him that he would never be alone as long as she was with him. Keeping this in mind, she gave him a loving smile that he eventually returned.

The bus began to move, but neither broke their gazes with each other. He followed the bus as it traveled at a slow pace and Clare continued smiling at him; she waved at him as he trailed beside the bus. It was only when the bus picked up speed and passed the end of the sidewalk that Eli no longer pursued it. As he left her sight, Clare leaned back into her seat and allowed a few tears to roll down her cheeks, praying that he would not do any more harm to himself or travel to a dark place of no return.

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"_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all"_

_~"Your Guardian Angel" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus_

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Okay guys, Chapter 131 is in the works, so I should have it posted before Monday. Review!


	131. Unbroken

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for your positive feedback. I really do appreciate all and I thank you guys for just being incredible readers! I know my updates are coming up every three days or so, but I'm trying to get a holiday chapter up around the holiday season, so I'm trying to get there as quickly as I can without rushing the pace of the story, ergo more updates. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I have addiction to cheesiness, but I don't own Degrassi.

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Chapter One Hundred Thirty-One

Unbroken

"How was your escapade to Ottawa?" Jenna asked Clare the following morning.

"Short-lived," she answered, closing her locker with a sigh. All night she had reflected on her weekend in Ottawa and she desired nothing more than to be with Eli; not only did she wish to be in his company, but she wanted to be certain that he was doing fine emotionally.

"But did you have fun?" K.C asked as he kept an arm around Jenna's shoulders.

"Yeah," she responded before the three of them began walking down the hall.

"And Eli's doing okay?"

"Mm-hmm," she said, even though her words were not the complete truth. Before either K.C or Jenna could as any more questions, the bell rang for homeroom and there was no longer an opportunity for discussion.

"I should get going," Jenna sighed regretfully.

"I'll see you later," K.C promised before pecking her lips. "Love you."

"Love you too," she said. "Bye Clare."

Jenna began walking down the hall as K.C and Clare journeyed in the direction of their Physics class.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"Really? You're not really acting like yourself."

"I just miss Eli," she explained, fighting the worry that she also felt. Now that Eli was out of her sight, she was unsure if he was harboring dark thoughts in his head or not; the thought of him being in pain made her heart cold and she really hoped that he was adjusting to her being gone again.

"Didn't you just leave him a bit more than twelve hours ago?"

"Yeah, but now I don't know for sure when I'm going to see him again."

"Sounds rough."

"You have no idea," Clare muttered, knowing that how she felt was nothing to the emotions that Eli had not too long ago.

They stepped into their classroom and Clare took her usual seat at her lab table next to Alli as K.C sat at the table behind them with Dave.

"Alright everyone," Mr. Betenkamp announced. "Midterm reports are in."

Some nervous groans floated around the room while others sat up straight in their seats, either nervous or eager to see what grades they received. He began passing the reports to the students as Clare discreetly pulled her phone out of her bag; she checked to see if Eli had sent her any messages. She did not have any, which was a slight relief to her; this meant that he was fine and that he was not having any distressing thoughts. She slid her phone back into her bag just in time to see Mr. Betenkamp coming to her and Alli's table. He handed them their reports and they began looking over them. Alli began reading straight from her report, a smile on her face all the while.

"A's in everything except for a B in French. Not too shabby," she proclaimed before turning to Clare. "How did you do?"

Clare gazed at her paper, taken aback and devastated at what she was seeing right before her eyes.

"I got a C."

What?" Alli exclaimed, knowing that Clare never got C's.

"In _English_," she emphasized.

It was unbelievable that Clare got a C, let alone getting one in her favorite class. Alli looked over her shoulder, wondering if Clare was only pulling her leg; but when she saw it for herself, it could no longer be denied.

"But at least you're doing well in everything else?"

"Except in Calculus and Physics; I got a B in them."

"That's not bad."

"I can't be getting B's and C's!" Clare argued.

"You're taking an AP class," she reminded. "It's bound to get hard."

"I'm working as hard as I can!" she retorted, still puzzled how she could have this grade in this class. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong!"

"Calm down," Alli instructed. "You won't solve anything by freaking out."

Clare tried to calm down, but her grade still haunted her. She could not remember the last time she got a C on her midterm report; she doubted if she ever did and it came during senior year. Her stomach was churning in worry, wanting to know how she got this grade and if she would be able to improve it in the future.

If she did not have so many worries in her heart, she probably would have simply told herself to do better next time and move on with her life. However, she was now terrified of the horrible possibilities that could come from this grade; it could continue to decline, she could be recommended to be transferred out of the class, or she could endanger her acceptance to university.

As soon as her English class was over, Clare went straight to Miss Dawes and asked her about her grade. After asking what had caused her grade to drop below her expectations, Dawes logged on to her computer and found the answer to Clare's inquiries.

"It looks like your essays aren't doing as well as they did last year."

"How so?" she asked.

"They are lacking the support they need and they seem a bit disorganized at times."

"But those can't be the only things bringing my grade down."

"Well, your test and homework grades aren't where they should be either."

Clare's stomach dropped, infuriated that she allowed her grades to falter when she was supposed to be focused on getting accepted to university and going to England.

"There has to be a mistake," she said, being fully aware that she was in denial.

"There is no mistake; I even made sure since this is not the student I had from the past couple of years."

Clare looked down at her feet, ashamed that she had allowed her reputation to slip from model student to this.

"Is everything alright between you and Eli?" she asked, having the knowledge that the couple had been together for a long period of time now.

"Yeah, we're fine," she answered.

"Well, is there anything else going on that could have caused you to not work as hard on your schoolwork?"

"I've just been busy lately with my dad getting remarried and England essays and everything."

"I see," Dawes replied in understanding.

"Is there anything I can do to make it better?" she asked earnestly.

"Well, just keep working on your essays and study. We will be learning more about writing constructive essays throughout the rest of the term, so hopefully that grade will come up soon."

"Thanks, Miss Dawes," Clare said, hoping that she would be able to succeed in improving her grade. She was about to turn around and walk towards the door, her mind replaying the conversation in her head.

"Oh, and Clare, how are your essays for England coming along?"

"I'm almost done with the last one," she answered, turning around to look at the teacher.

"Good. Remember, they have to be submitted in two weeks."

"I'm on it," Clare reassured before exiting the classroom. She turned to her left to see Alli standing there waiting for her.

"What's the verdict?" Alli asked as they walked down the hall.

"My tests, homework, and essays are sucking and bringing my grades down."

"Oh," she responded.

"It's so frustrating. My essays were great last year, but I had Eli here and he was my editor. Now he's MIA and they blow."

"You really think that's the reason?"

"What else is there?"

"It's an advanced class," she reminded. "But this is what you do about your essays: when you go over them, think about what Eli would say and fix them."

"I'll try, but I don't have Eli's brain," Clare said. "The only way I'm going to be able to do well on my essays is by working harder; and I need to study more and do a better job on my homework."

"Sounds like you're about to take on a lot of work for a single class."

"I also have to fix my grades in Calculus and Physics; I have to work harder in those classes too and then work hard to be sure my other grades don't suffer."

"Clare, a couple of B's and one C aren't the end of the world."

"But I have to keep it above that from this point on; I should be having straight A's in all my classes."

"It's your senior year and you've been a perfect student ever since you started school; you don't have to worry if a few of your grades are not perfect."

"I'm not taking any chances. When I apply to Ottawa, they could take one look at my transcript, see that my grades are dropping, and reject me."

"That's not going to happen; you're going to be accepted to Ottawa."

"I'd rather be safe than sorry; I'm going to step up my game."

"How are you going to do that?"

"Study all night, not slack off on my homework, and work on improving my grades at every chance I get. I'll even work on until the early hours of the morning and during weekends if I have to."

Alli rolled her eyes; only Clare would choose to alter her lifestyle because of a single C.

"Don't you think you're going a bit overboard with this?"

"No. I've been spending so much time worrying about England, my dad's wedding, and missing Eli that I've let my grades slip. I can't get distracted like that anymore."

"So instead you're going to stress yourself out with schoolwork?"

"Only until I find a way to keep my grades up."

"Clare, I'm going to say this one more time for the sake of your sanity," Alli began, stopping in her tracks and facing her best friend. "You're going to be accepted into Ottawa no matter what, your grades are fine, and you shouldn't bite off more than you can chew."

"I'm not; I'm going to do what I have to do."

"But what about Eli?" she asked. "Won't all this studying and stuff you plan on doing take away from the time you could spend talking to him?"

"No," Clare said instantly. "I'm going to talk to him every day for as long as I can and find a way to study."

"So you're going to juggle Eli and schoolwork?" she specified.

"I've been doing that since we started dating anyway; the only difference between that and this is that my grades are dropping and I need to bring them up."

Alli sighed, not seeing why Clare suddenly felt the responsibility to balance her academics and her boyfriend when everything was going well with both not too long ago. However, she also knew that when Clare made up her mind there was a little chance of her changing it; if she wanted to take on more studying and keep in touch with her boyfriend that would be what she would do.

"Okay, do all of the work you need if you feel like you have to do it; but don't work yourself too much that you have to shove Eli to the side," Alli warned as they started going down the hall again.

"I won't," she said, having already learned her lesson about neglecting the one she loved.

"Good," she said. "The last thing you need is to be stressing about is your relationship."

Clare bit her tongue at the irony and simply nodded in response. She knew that Alli meant well, but she needed to get into Ottawa more than ever now; no Ottawa meant that she would not be with Eli and that would mean that his concerns about their relationship would increase and that could lead him back down a dangerous road. Her grades would now have to be a main priority in her life; however, just because she would be more focused on her academics now did not mean she was going to let her relationship with Eli pay the price. Refusing to put it in jeopardy again, Clare vowed to herself that she would talk to Eli more than she did before and would do whatever she could to let him know that she would always love him to save him from any pain . . .

()()

To Eli's relief, Clare had kept her promise for them to talk more often. Throughout that entire week, she would call him, she would reply to his messages, and they would Skype whenever they had the opportunity. He would vent to her about any stress he had and she would listen and talk to him until he was relaxed; he would also hear about her day and they would talk for at least an hour. He really enjoyed these talks with her and felt a sense of happiness and relief whenever she told him that she missed him and loved him.

Eli was grateful for how caring she had been and he thought that she could not get any more thoughtful when he received a pleasant surprise on Friday evening. He had gone by his and Josh's mailbox that afternoon to find that he had received a package; he saw that return address was Clare's, but he was curious as to what the contents within could possibly be. There was not a special occasion coming up that he remembered, so he could not figure out why she was sending him this. Maybe it was something from home that he left behind or maybe she wanted him to hold onto something for her; he was not certain, but he made a beeline to his and Josh's room when he got on the floor to find out. Eli went inside the room and put the box on his bed, greeting Josh briefly before retrieving his scissors from his desk.

"What's that?" Josh asked, standing up from his own desk and walking over to investigate.

"Package from Clare," Eli explained as he broke the seam made of tape that kept it closed before opening the lids.

"What's in it?"

"I don't know yet," he answered, putting his scissor to the side before opening the lids. Once he was able to see inside, he saw that the contents of the box were covered with a layer of light blue tissue paper and a letter resting on top of it all. He saw the words written on the envelope and could not help but chuckle.

_Fluffy_

_(Love Piglet)_

"Fluffy? Piglet?" Josh recited, looking over his roommate's shoulder.

"Nicknames we have for each other," Eli explained as he opened the envelope. Within seconds, he was unfolding a piece of paper and was reading a letter in Clare's neat handwriting.

_I thought I'd send you a care package so you could have more of home with you while you're away. I hope you like everything that is inside and that it makes you feel a bit more at home. I'll try to come and visit you again soon as I can. I don't know how long I can wait this time without giving you a kiss. I always look forward to seeing your calls, texts, emails, and everything. They make my day whenever I need a smile. I love you and miss you. I'll see you through Skype. Remember that I'll always love you._

_Love,_

_Clare_

_xxx_

Eli smiled at her name and the kisses below, his heart wanting to melt as he reread the words _I'll always love you. _He was amazed that Clare had taken the time to write this letter and prepare this package for carefully refolded the letter and put it back into the envelope before extracting the tissue paper; he peered into the box and saw how every item within had a note attached to it. Grinning, Eli picked up the first thing his eyes caught sight of and lifted up the container that had a piece of paper taped to the lid.

_I thought that you could use some homemade chocolate chip cookies. I hope you enjoy._

_Love,_

_Blue Eyes_

"How many nicknames do you guys have for each other?" Josh asked, reading the note over Eli's shoulder. Eli shrugged, actually pleased that they were so close that they could have a variety of names for each other. Josh, no longer interested, walked back to his bed and began listening to his iPod to leave Eli to the package. Glad that he had privacy, he allowed his eyes to catch sight of another item in the box. He picked up a clear bag that had a dozen red apples in it; his eyes lit up, for he was always a fan of this fruit. Attached to the bag was another note from Clare; he held a corner and turned it towards him, resting the bag on his lap all the while.

_For those late nights you spend doing homework and you get hungry. Don't eat them all in one night you apple addict._

_Love,_

_Your Sweetheart_

He smirked and chuckled at the note, but appreciated the gesture nonetheless. He heaved the bag off of his lap and put it to the side, curious to know what else was inside the box. He then lifted out a dark blue hoodie with the Degrassi crest on it that had yet another note from Clare inside the hood.

_Don't forget where you come from, college kid._

_Love,_

_Future Mrs. Eli Goldsworthy_

He kept grinning at these words, anticipating the day for when she can take the future out of that name. After gently lying the hoodie down next to him, he turned back to the box to find the final item inside; he saw another envelope at the bottom, waiting patiently for him to look at it. It was a brownish-yellow rectangle that opened at the top; across the front in bold black ink read:

**FOR ELI'S EYES ONLY!**

He turned to Josh, who was now lying on his bed with his eyes closed as he continued listening to his music. Appeased that he would not have a curious roommate to worry about, Eli moved his focus back to the envelope; he did not have the slightest clue what could be within, but he was excited and he needed to know as soon as he could.

He took the envelope out of the box, opened it, and slid out a photograph. His eyes widened at the sight of it, but tried to keep calm so Josh would not become interested in case he chose to look over at the wrong time. It was of Clare and she was wearing the red lace bra and denim miniskirt she wore for him on his birthday when they Skyped; she applied her makeup to create a smoky eye effect in company with dark red lipstick that made her lips appear fuller. She was standing in front of the mirror in her room as she took a picture with her digital camera; she was smiling with a hand on her hip and her head leaning to one side.

He felt his heart speed up as the blood coursed through his body; he licked his lips and examined the subject of the picture from bottom to top and back again, his eyes taking their time so he could have this in his memory forever. He now desired nothing more than to hold that body next to his, run his hands over the exposed flesh, and plant kisses wherever she would allow him.

He thought of pinning her on the mattress, kissing her passionately and hearing her moan in pleasure. He would smile and smirk at the sounds she made since he always loved it when his innocent girlfriend would cave into her desires. He then imagined her kissing him, trailing her lips down his neck while he wrapped his arms around her so there was no space between them.

After spending a few minutes of visually obsessing over this photograph and gaining control of his daydreams, Eli was able to compose himself and began to think a bit clearly again. Not wanting anyone else to find this, he carefully put the picture back inside the envelope and slid it between the box spring and the mattress. As far as he knew, no one other than him and Clare had seen this photo and that was how it was going to remain.

Once the picture was safe from sight, Eli picked up his phone and dialed Clare's number as he continued to keep the smile plastered on his lips. He only had to listen to a couple of rings before he heard her voice greet him.

"H-Hi," she said with a yawn.

"Hi," he replied. "Did I call at a bad time?"

"No," she said. "I just had a long day at school and work."

"Since when do you work on Fridays?" he asked.

"Since today," she answered. "I need to start saving up more money for England."

"Right," he said.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"Really good," he answered. "I got your care package today."

"Oh, you did?" she said with a grin. She was a bit anxious to hear his thoughts on the picture and everything else.

"Yes. Thank you _so much_. It was perfect."

"I'm glad you liked it."

"I love it. I probably won't have to leave my room so much to eat now."

"Good," she said, wondering if he any comments of the picture she took.

"Oh, and that picture you sent . . . whoa."

"Really?" she asked, suddenly wishing that he never brought it up at all.

"Absolutely. And, I promise, no one else will see it."

"Thank you," she said with great appreciation.

"No, thank _you_," he said, knowing that he should be fortunate that Clare did so much for him. "You are the most amazing girlfriend _ever_."

Clare blushed and pulled back on her lip, unable to find the words to reply.

"Really, Clare, thank you for the whole thing. It was really incredible of you to do."

"No problem," she said with a blush. "Does it make it feel a bit more like home?"

"It does," he answered. "You're the best."

"Eli . . ." she said, flattered.

Eli, who was completely in awe of what she had done, wanted nothing more than to thank her by showering her with as many compliments as possible.

"I mean it, I am one lucky guy."

She bit her lip, knowing that Eli was picturing her red face in his brain by the way he let out a small laugh.

"Am I making you blush?"

"What do you think?" she retorted.

"Sorry," he said. "I just don't know how to thank you."

"I think I get the idea," she assured him.

"Alright . . . so, are you doing anything in two weeks?" he asked.

"I don't think so," Clare replied.

"Well, would you be interested in a long-distance date? I know we only saw each other a week ago, but –."

"You don't have to convince me; I'd love to. Where and when?"

"Hmmm . . . seven o'clock, Chinese takeout and we have a night in together?"

"Sounds good," she agreed.

"Great," he said. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too," she replied.

"So do you have any plans for this weekend?"

"Well, it's my first weekend with the newlyweds; I'm actually at their apartment right now."

"Yikes," he said, knowing that she would rather not be there.

"Yeah, so I'm basically going to be here whenever I'm not working this weekend."

"Well, remember that you can call me every time Alyson starts to get on your nerves."

"Thanks, I'll probably need to do that."

"Don't worry, I'm here for you just like you're here for me."

"Of course," she said, pleased that they would both have a person to turn to. "Well, I need to get going. I got some studying to do."

"On a Friday?"

"I have a huge Physics test on Monday that I want to pass."

"Okay, but you call if you want a study buddy or something."

Clare chuckled.

"Will do. I love you."

"I love you too, Blue Eyes."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

He reluctantly ended the call and put his phone on his dresser. He then gathered all the notes and the letter she wrote to him and put them on his desk next to her picture before returning to his bed and setting the box down beside it; he changed into some pajama pants and a simple shirt before lying down on his bed and closing his eyes. Not once did the joy fade from his heart nor did the smile leave his face; Clare's package was simple and perfect and the fact that she cared enough about him to send it was the greatest gift of all. Eli gradually felt himself drift into a pleasant slumber, the image of Clare's almost nude body still clear in his mind as he consistently reminded himself that he had an amazing girlfriend waiting for him back home.

* * *

"_We carry forward into the night_

_The strength of innocence like children's laughter_

_An army standing for what is right_

_We'll fall like angels if we lose what matters"_

_~"Unbroken" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

To Daddysgirl, I am sorry to hear about your dad and I will definitely do that in the next chapter when the song would be more appropriate to fit the content.

Staying two steps ahead of myself and working on Chapter 132, so another update should come before the end of the week. Review please!

And read "Scars and Secrets" by Eclarexoxo. It's INCREDIBLE!


	132. Hero

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the reviews. This chapter and the song used in this chapter are dedicated to the father of the reviewer Daddysgirl. May he rest in peace. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Today, I don't own anything (including Degrassi).

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Two

Hero

_Before I head to work today I have to let everyone know that I am a lucky guy because I have Clare Edwards as my girlfriend. She's the best!_

Eli posted this on Facerange the following day, still smiling about the package he had received the night before. He reread one of Clare's notes and looked at the picture she sent him for a while before texting _I love you_ to her like he had done every morning. After spending the morning with Josh, got ready for work and drove to the cinema in high spirits.

Within minutes of entering work, he got behind the counter and began handing out tickets and popcorn to the customers, his mind wandering to the picture Clare sent him every so often. He kept smiling and never allowed himself to think anything negative just as he had been doing that past week; it was not always easy, but Clare's package made him feel more at ease and he was confident that he would be able to get through this day at work.

"Enjoy your movie," he told a young girl and her mother after he handed them their popcorn, drinks, and candy. He watched them go with a grin before noticing that there was no one in line for concessions and he could take a small breather.

"Someone seems happy today," Haley observed as she also took advantage of the free time they had.

"Someone is," he admitted, keeping his eye out for potential customers while continuing the conversation.

"I take it you had a good night," she assumed.

"You can say that," he answered. "I got a care package from Clare yesterday."

"Aw, that is so cute," she gushed. "What did she send you?"

"Just some things that remind me of home . . ."

He kept his mouth closed afterwards, wanting to keep the image of her alluring photograph safe in his head and not known to the world. He was in a state of bliss as he thought about Clare's curves, her skin, and her exposed body when an unpleasant voice interrupted his pleasant thoughts.

"So everything is going great with you and that hot piece of ass, newbie?" Devin asked as he took a place behind the counter with them.

Eli clasped his tongue between his teeth to keep himself from shouting and disturbing the people in the lobby. He clenched his fists together before turning to Devin, glaring at him.

"_Never_ call her that again," he warned him with a scowl.

"What did I say?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"Really Devin?" Haley remarked. "You do remember that you are talking about _his girlfriend_, right?"

"I was just saying that a care package usually means that everything is going fine. What's the problem?"

"The problem is that you are calling my girlfriend a hot piece of ass when you know damn well that she is in a relationship with me." He spoke with great aggravation, not understanding why he had to explain this to Devin.

"Kind of possessive there, aren't we?"

"I'm defending her," he simplified, knowing that Clare would not be fond of someone referencing her in certain ways.

"You can't always defend her; a lot of guys will probably check her out throughout your relationship and you can't stop all of them from making their comments."

Eli rolled his eyes, gritting his teeth at the thought of strangers eyeing Clare while she was walking down the street; he was already aware that other males would make their observations of his girlfriend when he was not around and he did not want to be reminded of it.

"How about this?" he began. "You stop talking about me and my girlfriend and leave me alone. Sound good?"

Not waiting for an answer, Eli turned his back on Devin and kept his eyes open for any other people who could be coming up to the concession stand.

"Fine, but if things between you two go south, let me know, okay? I wouldn't mind getting to know her a little better," he smirked before thumping Eli on his back and walking towards the other end of the counter. Nostrils flaring, Eli prepared to step towards Devin and give a piece of his mind when he felt a tender hand rest on his shoulder.

"Let it go," Haley warned him. "The more you encourage him, the more fun he'll get out of it."

Eli let out a heavy exhale through his nose before finally unclenching his fists and turning back to the counter.

"Has he always been such a creep?" he asked since she and Gary have been working with Devin for a longer period of time.

"Yeah," she replied. "He hit on me a lot when I first started working here."

"How long did that last?"

"A few weeks but I never gave him the time of day so he gave up and tried to pursue someone else."

"So he only hits on a girl for a certain amount of time until he gets tired, then he sees another girl and tries to make a move on her?" he clarified.

"That's what he does," she answered.

Eli gulped, his mind reflecting on the comments Devin had made towards Clare. He recalled how she was there last weekend and he scrutinized her and made very explicit observations about her body. He could only assume by what he had said today and this new information Haley had given him that Devin had taken a liking to Clare and he would not stop until another girl struck his fancy.

"Did he say something about your girlfriend?"

"More things than I wish to repeat," he nodded.

"Don't worry," she said. "He'll soon move on to another piece of eye candy and he'll forget all about her."

"It better not take long; I don't really like the idea of some bastard thinking about my girlfriend naked or anything."

"By this time next week he's going to be thinking about someone else, so relax."

Eli attempted to heed Haley's advice throughout the rest of the day, but he forced himself to stay as far away from Devin as possible. It was on days like this when it paid for Devin to be such a slacker since he usually disappeared for an hour at a time, leaving Eli, Haley, and Gary alone in the lobby.

Whenever Devin was not around, he would act casual as he always would. He was not in an extremely cheerful mood like he was that morning thanks to Devin, but he settled for having an ordinary workday. What made it a bit better was that Haley and Gary had recovered from their fight they had last Friday and were now back to the couple Eli remembered. Instead of being envious or irritated by their displays of affection like he usually would have been, he actually grinned at them and was pleased that there was another couple in the world that was similar to him and Clare.

"I'll see you guys Monday," he bade them as he punched out for the night before leaving the backroom at the end of his shift that evening.

He heard Gary and Haley bid him farewell as he left and he began walking towards the exit; with every step he took he wondered if Clare would be able to Skype or if he would be able to talk to her the phone tonight. Maybe he could do something considerate or romantic over the phone or webcam to repay her for the care package. He gave it some thought, but he was unsure as to what he –.

"Newbie!"

Annoyed that his thoughts had been interrupted, Eli stopped and turned to see Devin holding an item in his hand. His eyes widened when they saw what his coworker was holding up for him to see; the cloth that Eli had around his arm all day was being clutched in Devin's hand.

Panicked, his eyes darted to his arm and saw the gashes that were standing out on his skin. Devin came his way and he attempted to act as casual as possible; Eli put his left arm behind his back in order to shield it from sight, but he was frightened that he was not subtle enough.

"Drop something?" Devin asked when he was a couple of feet away from Eli.

"No," he lied.

"It wasn't on the floor before you came in here."

"Oh, I guess the cinema is haunted," he said sarcastically, hoping in vain that it would throw Devin off this path to him. Unfortunately, he could tell by the curious glint in Devin's eye that he was not going to be swayed.

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing," Eli spat.

"Then why are you hiding your arm?"

Without warning, Devin grabbed hold of Eli's left arm and pulled it would to plain sight; when Devin saw the demons he was trying to hide, Eli wanted nothing more than to vomit on the spot. He could feel Devin's eyes burning holes into this skin while silently judging the injuries; he yanked his arm out of the man's grasp as he felt his blood begun to rush unpleasantly through his body. His brain attempted to formulate the best excuse possible, but he was frozen just as he was when Clare first noticed the cuts on him. His heart pounded, knowing that he was to be a victim of Devin's torments. Unlike Clare, Devin would not show mercy and would not give any sympathy to him . . .

"Wow, newbie," he chuckled darkly. "I never expected you to be that extreme."

"Shut up," Eli ordered.

"I mean, I knew I should expect something from you since you drove a hearse, but I didn't think it was _this_."

Refusing to be put down and judged anymore, Eli made a move to turn around; he would just find another piece of fabric to hide his scars with if it meant he would not have to hear Devin speak anymore. But he should have known that Devin would not just let him walk away. When he was about three feet away from the door, he heard the reproachful voice of his coworker and it forced his to stop walking.

"Does your girlfriend know?" he inquired.

"Leave her out of this," Eli sneered.

"Well, I'm sorry when she does find out. Do you really think she's going to want to stick around with you when she sees what you do?"

"I don't do it anymore."

"Good for you. But if she knows that you did do this, you should consider yourself lucky."

"You really need to stop talking about my girlfriend," he said, looking at him straight in the eye. "You don't know anything about her or our relationship, so butt out."

"Well, it doesn't take a genius to see that she either pities you or is taking her time in letting you down easy."

"She won't do that," Eli protested, a pit forming at his stomach as Devin said these words. "You don't know anything."

"But I do know some things about women and no girl would want to be with a guy who does this to himself."

"Clare's not like that."

"Just wait, newbie," Devin foretold. "One day, she'll come to her senses."

Animosity filling his vein, Eli shoved Devin away from him with all the strength he had. Taken aback, Devin stumbled over his feet in attempt to regain his balance and fell against the front of the counter. Eli walked towards him and snatched the fabric away while he was still dazed. He turned around and was about to leave before feeling someone grab him around his ankle; before he had a chance to react, he felt to the ground and felt his teeth come into contact with his bottom lip.

Caught off-guard, Eli blinked a couple of times before tasting blood in his mouth. He pushed himself up before turning around to be face-to-face with Devin, who had fury in his eyes. He pushed Eli against the wall next to the door, leaving him with no room to escape.

"Do you really want to mess with me?" he sneered, crossing his arms.

"You're the one who crossed the line," he growled.

"Has anyone ever told you that you need to learn to calm yourself?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you need to mind your own business?" Eli retorted.

A second later, Eli felt himself being thrown onto the floor and landed on his side. He turned on his back just in time to see Devin standing over him with his fist raised. Eli rolled over just in time to save himself from a punch in the face. Devin's fist punched the carpeted floor and howled in pain; Eli took advantage of the situation and pushed Devin onto the ground completely. But Devin was quick and recovered before tackling Eli back on the floor.

Before Eli could regain himself, he felt Devin giving him punches to the torso and he considered himself lucky that he never got hit in the face; he foiled as many punches as he could and he maneuvered as quickly to avoid his fists, but he could already feel the bruises forming on his body. He would gain the upper hand at times and would have a chance to defend himself, but Devin was stronger than he looked; he would soon tower over Eli again and the process would start over.

"Hey, hey, HEY!" a voice hollered after many minutes of combat.

Eli felt Devin's body get yanked off him and he was finally able to get back on his feet. He saw Gary standing between them, determined to act as a barrier to cease the fighting; Haley was standing at the side, watching in horror.

"What the hell is going on?" Gary demanded.

"This maniac attacked me!"

"He provoked me!" Eli shouted.

"This guy needs to be locked up somewhere!" Devin declared. "He's insane!"

"That's enough!" Gary intervened. "Both of you need to act your age and not fight in the middle of a movie theater!"

"Tell that to him!" Devin stated.

"I'm telling both of you. Now you get back to the counter. And Eli, you go! Just go!" Gary almost shouted.

"Gladly," Eli stated, shooting one last glare at Devin before turning on his heel and exiting the cinema.

Furious at Devin and disgusted at himself, Eli ran to Morty and climbed inside before catching his breath. He started his car as he shook from head to toe while his emotions shook his body. He took in some breaths, attempting to process what had just happened; he remembered Devin discovering his secret and them eventually getting into a fight, but it took him some time for the rest of the memories to come back to him.

Once he remembered, he felt fury and he wanted nothing more than to go back into the cinema and give Devin another punch. He clenched the steering wheel, fighting every feeling of anger within him before taking in some air. He pulled out of the parking lot, only calm enough to drive himself back to campus in one piece . . .

()()

Clare had spent her entire week studying at every moment or else was focusing on improving her essays. She had also figured that she had better start researching scholarships since she was already concentrating on university at this point. She spent most of her nights staying up three hours later than usual doing this work, which only allowed her five hours of sleep per night, but she was making it through the day.

She was still at Randall's and Alyson's for the weekend, but she spent most of the day working at the Dot so she did not have much of an opportunity to spend time with them; she did not mind this since she would rather have time to herself than be with her stepmother anyway. It was now one o'clock at night and Clare was sitting on her bed, studying her Physics notes when she heard a familiar ringtone; it was the one she had set for Eli and heart began to pound. She reached for the phone, curious and concerned; he had never called her this late before without texting or letting her know first. Hoping that neither Alyson nor Randall heard in the next room over, she answered the call and hoped that she prepared for what she could hear.

"Hello," she greeted.

"C-Clare," he stammered.

"Eli? Eli, babe, what's wrong?"

"Y-You said I could call you day or night no matter what, right?"

"Yeah, of course," she answered. She heard him whimpering and sobbing for a few seconds before she heard him take a deep breath. "Eli, are you okay? It sounds like you're crying."

"I am," he admitted. Clare had seen him cry many times and she had never minded it thus far and he knew that she had no reason to start now. "I-I'm sorry I'm calling you so late."

"It's okay," she reassured as she leaned against her headboard. "Is something wrong?"

"Kind of," he replied; Clare heard the mild frustration and sadness in his tone.

"Need to talk about it?"

"No," he declined. "It was just one of those bad days when I really want you here."

Clare felt horrible for not being able to take him in his arms at this point when he definitely needed it.

"I wish I could be there, baby."

"I know. Can you just talk to me for a few minutes?"

"Of course," she reassured him.

"Thank you so much."

"It's nothing."

He sobbed before filling his lungs with a substantial amount of air.

"Did I wake you up?"

"No," she answered him. "Where are you?"

"On the roof," he explained. He did not want risk to disturbing the hall just in case he broke down and drew attention to himself; the roof was the safest place to be as long as he stayed away from the edge.

Clare sat on her bed and listened as she heard Eli breathe in and out repeatedly whenever he did not release a sob. It was rare that Eli cried and it was even rarer when he did it over the phone despite the reassurance she gave him a week ago; he must have had something troublesome on his mind if he needed to call her this late in tears.

"Eli, what's wrong?" she asked, keeping her voice down as low as possible.

"I-I don't know. I just . . . I want to get rid of this feeling I have but I don't know how."

"What feeling are you having?"

"The . . . the kind I get when I feel like I need to cut myself . . . scared . . . upset . . ."

"Talk to me, Eli," she said calmly, determined to keep to one of the promises she made to him before she left Ottawa. "What's going on?"

"A-After work . . . everything just hit me and I've been trying to calm down, but I can't. I've been trying for hours and I don't feel any better."

"What happened?" she asked, terrified to know what Eli had to face in order to feel so on edge. She heard him breathing and she could practically picture him shaking as he tried to speak.

"D-Devin knows about the cutting."

"What?"

"The cloth fell off my arm when I tried to leave the theater and he saw the cuts."

"Oh my God."

"He said that I was . . . basically pathetic for doing it and that I was messed up and that you wouldn't want to be with me because of it. That really got to me and then I got into a fight with him."

"Like an actual fight?" she said.

"Yes," he said.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered, not really wanting to discuss his injuries. "Gary broke it up and I got out of there, but . . . when I got back, I started to think." He inhaled sharply before continuing. "I thought about what could have happened if you reacted that way when you learned that I cut and everything."

"Eli, I _don't_ think that way about you. You know that."

"I know and realizing that made me feel worse because I thought that way and I don't know why I did. I'm disgusted at myself for even thinking like that."

"It's okay," she assured him. "What happened after that?"

"The thoughts kept coming; I kept thinking about what could have happened if you did break up with me when you found out and . . . what could happen if I don't get better."

"Don't think like that," she said directly. "You are going to get better."

"I've tried to stop and think about good things; I read your notes from the care package and everything, but nothing helped. If anything, I feel more upset now than I did before because you worked so hard to make this place feel more like home but . . . I still felt as bad as before."

Clare listened, her heart breaking as she heard that not even happy thoughts would be able to help him.

"And I really tried to think positively so I wouldn't have to worry you, but I couldn't take it anymore. I'm sorry that –."

"No, Eli," she interrupted him. "Don't say sorry. I'm glad you called and you can call me whenever you feel this way, alright? That way you won't have to suffer for so long."

"I just feel horrible that you have done so much and . . . I'm still this way."

"You said yourself that you weren't going to feel better overnight," she reminded him. "We just have to take it one day at a time."

"But I feel like such a failure!" he cried. "I was doing fine all week and then that one moment with Devin sent me all the way back to square one!"

"You are not a failure. This was only you're first week without the knife and the fact that you endured a whole week without those thoughts is an accomplishment in itself."

"It doesn't feel that way."

"But it is," she told him. "And you haven't done anything to harm yourself, right?"

"Right," he said.

"That's good. That is progress."

"But I have been trying to calm down from this ever since I got off work today and I don't feel any better. I've been trying to do what you said and write about it or think of good things, but it isn't working. I don't know what else to do."

"Breathe," she instructed him in hope that she would be able to help him feel better. "Just close your eyes, breathe, and count to ten."

Eli obeyed, hoping that it would help him. He allowed his eyelids to fall so he could see nothing but darkness and he inhaled and exhaled repeatedly while chanting numbers.

"Now picture something happy," Clare directed him when he was finished counting.

"Like what?" he asked, his mind currently unable to form many thoughts.

"Our wedding," she stated. "Think about us getting married."

Eli tried to focus, but could only see him sitting alone on the front steps of a church; clouds were everywhere and leaves were surrounding him, blowing in the wind. He could not see Clare or any sign of a wedding, let alone a happy future that he wanted the two of them to have someday.

"C-Can you help me?"

"Sure," she agreed. "Close your eyes."

"Closed."

"Now relax and clear your mind."

Eli heeded her advice, although he wished she could stop with the preparations and start helping.

"Think of . . . the park. It's June 14th, you're standing under the tree when we first said that we loved each other. You're wearing a tux and everyone we love is there. I'm entering a park in a white dress; I'm holding a bouquet of flowers and I'm smiling at my loving fiancé. And then I'll stand with you and we'll put rings on each other's fingers. After that, I will be asked if I take you to be my lawful wedded husband, to love and to cherish from that day forward, for richer or for poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live; I'll say that I do. Then you'll be asked if you would take me to be your lawful wedded wife, to love and to cherish from that day forward, for richer or for poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live."

"I do," Eli breathed. "T-Then would I be able to kiss the bride?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Do you feel any better?"

"A little."

"Okay . . . um . . ." Clare's mind began to race, wishing to find another solution in her head that would allow her to help him until he felt more than a little better.

"I'm sorry," he told her hurriedly. "I know that you're trying to help and I really appreciate that and I wish that thinking about our wedding would be enough to take it all away, but . . . but . . ."

"Eli, it's not your fault," she said.

He disagreed. No one was telling him to feel conflicted and upset; it was his emotions controlling him and he could not find a way to handle them.

"Clare . . . I don't know what's wrong with me."

"It's okay, Eli," she said soothingly.

"No, it's not," he argued. "Maybe Devin is right and I am messed up or something."

"Eli, that guy knows nothing about you; the last person you should be listening to about this is him. But tomorrow is a new day; just keep your head up high and don't let him get to you."

"I'm really sorry," she heard him whimper.

"Shhh, it's okay."

"Clare . . . please don't leave me."

"Never, Eli."

"P-Promise?"

"'Til death do we part."

"And you still don't . . . hate me for cutting?"

"Eli, listen," she began firmly. "If I hated you for cutting, I would not have stayed with you last week and I wouldn't be on the phone with you right now. I love you more than anything and that is never going to change whether you've cut yourself or not."

She sat quietly, listening to Eli breathing; over time, she heard him take fewer breaths that told her that he was becoming more relaxed.

"Eli? Eli, are you okay?" she asked after not hearing a word from him for a few minutes.

"I was just thinking that a wedding in the park sounds like a good idea," he told her.

Clare sighed in relief and grinned, pleased that he managed to keep a positive thought in his head.

"We should keep it in mind," she agreed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. I think I just need to sleep it off now."

"So you're going to go back inside and get some sleep soon?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry for calling this late and for keeping you up like this."

"Don't apologize," she said. "Call me whenever you need to."

"Thanks," he said. "I just wish I didn't let Devin get to me like that; work's going to be interesting on Monday."

"Don't listen to anything he says," she advised him. "He's not worth it."

"You're right," he agreed, ashamed that he had listened to his coworker. "Well, I think I should go ahead and get some sleep."

"Are you going to be alright?"

"I think," he answered.

"Good," she said in relief. "Remember to call me if you need to talk."

"I will."

"And try not to get into any more fights, okay?"

"I'll try," he promised.

"Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Sounds great," he said. "I'll talk to you then."

"Okay. Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too."

Clare heard the line go dead and she put her head back against her headboard before putting the phone to the side. She put down all her walls and took in a breath, knowing that she did not have to be as strong now. It broke her heart and made her angry that Devin had said such coldhearted words to someone who was clearly suffering. She could not understand how someone would do that to someone else and she really wanted to give Devin a piece of her mind.

What made her more worried was that she had only been away from a week and he had received her package only yesterday and negativity still found a way to inhabit his brain. He had cried, he doubted, and he was unable to calm down for a while. She was relieved that he had called her instead of finding a substitute for a knife, but she did not expect him to crave it again so soon.

In that moment, Clare realized how much depended on her getting into Ottawa. Eli needed her there to help him and she would not always be able to do so if she was three hundred miles away. If she did not get in, he would be alone and there would be a day when he would need to see her and she could not be there. She refused to think any further for she was horrified of what could happen if she was not there when he needed her comfort the most.

She looked down at her Physics notes and immediately began reading over them again. She read them, reread them, and reread them again until she committed all of them to memory. As she absorbed this knowledge, she vowed she had to do what was necessary to get into Ottawa and to be there for Eli. She was not going to let him feel pain and she was not going to desert him when he needed console . . . she promised him that she would always be there and she was going to do all that was necessary to keep her word.

* * *

"_And then a hero comes along_

_With the strength to carry on_

_And you cast your fears aside_

_And you know you can survive"_

_~"Hero" by Mariah Carey_

* * *

Leave your condolences for Daddysgirl.


	133. Die For You

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks for the support everyone. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: It's not polite to claim something that isn't yours, so I must inform everyone that I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Three

Die For You

Clare did not waste any time carrying out her plan. Immediately after church the next day she started studying Physics again; she knew all of it now since she stayed up until four reading her notes, but she wanted to be sure that she would still have it in her brain for the test tomorrow.

She rarely paid mind to Randall or Alyson that day and – if she had to be honest with herself – she could not care less about what they were thinking. They could disapprove of her isolation from them or her consistent studying over the same subject, but she would merely ignore their comments.

The only contact she cared to receive from the outside world was a text she got from Eli that afternoon and it was only then that she took a break from studying.

_Thanks for talking to me last night. It really helped. I felt better after talking to you and getting a good night's sleep helped a lot. You're the best. I love you._

Clare grinned, pleased that Eli felt better and had calmed down since last night.

_That's good to hear, Eli. I'm glad you're feeling better. YOU are the best. I love you too._

She waited patiently for five minutes before seeing that Eli would not respond and deciding to get back to work. She studied from that point on until she had to be taken back to Helen's; she reviewed her Physics, she practiced her French, and studied some history. To her relief, she knew her Physics notes inside and out by the end of the day that she felt fairly confident about passing tomorrow's test; all she hoped for now was that she would be able to bring her grade from a B to an A.

Since she was so determined to not stop studying that night, she drank three cups of coffee and forced herself to stay awake. Just like the week before, she got less sleep than usual and awoke in a tired state; she fought it and consumed as much caffeine as she could that morning before going to school.

This process of studying and lack of sleep continued the next day and the next day. Her diet soon consisted of coffee, soda, and any food that had sugar as a key ingredient or somehow gave her energy. Now that she was only sleeping four hours per night and was always working or studying, she nodded sources of nourishment to keep her moving.

For the next few days, no one at Degrassi suspected her new routine. She would get up earlier than usual to study, get ready, get through the school day, work, talk to Eli, sleep, and restart the whole process again the following day. She was surprised that she was able to function with the little sleep she got, but did not question it; she would simply use foundation to cover the bags under her eyes, put on a smile, then go. It actually helped that everyone she spent time with was in a relationship because that meant that nobody would interrogate her about the yawns or intense studying since their focus was somewhere else.

It was very difficult to keep going at times, but she would always remind herself why she was doing this and who she was doing it for and it would inspire her to keep going. Seeing Eli's picture in her locker or seeing his necklace or seeing his _Spring Jam _shirt over the plush panda he won for her always gave her the boost she needed to stay up that extra hour to study over her notes one more time. It was stressful at more times than others, but she always looked forward to the nights when she would be able to talk to Eli and then go to sleep.

It was now Wednesday night and it was almost midnight when she decided to stop studying for the night; she put her books away before picking up her phone and texting a message to Eli.

_Guess who I'm thinking about . . ._

She sat there in hope that he was not already asleep before hearing her message alert go off. She grinned tiredly, squinting when the blinding light of the screen.

_Could it possibly be your charming boyfriend? ;)_

_My charming, mysterious, incredible boyfriend to be exact ;)_

_Oh Clare, you kill me with your appropriate use of adjectives_

Clare chortled before responding.

_Just one of my many talents. Skype?_

_I'll be on in two minutes :)_

Smiling, Clare hurriedly put her phone to the side before grabbing her laptop and putting it on her thighs as she leaned against her headboard. Eli was calling her within a minute after she was logged on to Skype and she wondered if he had been waiting all night to chat with her over webcam.

"There's that pretty face I've been wanting to talk to all day," he said once he saw her.

Clare blushed and smiled at him.

"I can relate," she said.

"So how was your day?"

"Long," she answered. "What about yours?"

"It was okay. Devin's still avoiding me, but I'm perfectly fine with that."

Devin did not receive many injuries during their fight, but he did have a pain in his shoulder and he did not want to take any chances on setting off a "nutcase" again. He kept his distance with Eli and the most communication they had was glaring at each other whenever they made eye contact.

"That's good," Clare said. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, Clare," he firmly assured her. She had asked him this every time they talked and he knew that she was concerned, but he did not like that she was treating him like a time bomb that could explode at any second.

"Okay," she accepted.

"How's your final essay going?" he asked in order to change the subject.

"I'm almost done," she said. "I just have to finish and email all of them to England by Friday."

"That's great," he said. "Then it won't be much longer until you go on that plane and landing there."

"I know," she smiled. "It's weird knowing that I won't be at home for much longer, but I can't wait to go at the same time."

"I can't believe it's only a bit more than two months until you go."

"I know," she remarked. "I'll miss you so much."

"But at least I'm coming to visit."

"Yeah," she said.

"I just hope I don't . . . _need_ to call a lot while you're there; I wouldn't want to interrupt your time there."

"You can call whenever."

"I know, but I don't want to bother you with my problems when I do call."

Clare felt a lump grow in her throat, realizing that Eli probably would call often if he did not get any better. If he kept having dark thoughts, he would contact her and she could only imagine how many times he would call over the course of three months.

"I'm always here," she said, the words coming out of her mouth as a reminder to herself and Eli. "Day or night, no matter what, I'm here."

"I know; I just don't –."

"Eli, call me when you need to. I'm serious," she emphasized, knowing that returning many missed messages was not worth Eli harming himself.

She saw Eli give her a gentle grin and she felt her heart relax when she saw that he had finally absorbed her words.

"Have I ever told you that you are the best?"

"Many, many, _many_ times," she grinned.

"Well, I must tell you again that you are the best."

She blushed and felt the familiar desire to kiss his lips but was unable to; disheartened by yet another reminder that he was out of her reach and she could do nothing more than talk to him.

"I miss you, Fluffy."

"I miss you too, Piglet. I promise to come home soon."

"You better," she said with a teasing smile. "And then Christmas break will be here and we'll be able to spend a lot of time together."

"We should try to have as many dates as possible then since you'll be leaving at the end of December."

"Good idea," she assented. "And are we still having our long-distance date next Friday?"

"If you want."

"I do."

"Then I can't wait," he grinned.

"Neither can I."

Eli smiled at her before wandering his eyes to lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss them.

"So what are you doing up so late?"

"Studying," she said, despising the word. "What about you?"

"Getting some homework done and just doing a bit of writing," he answered. "I finally had the time to do it tonight, so I took advantage of it."

"You haven't had much time for it then?"

"Almost none," he said.

"I feel your pain," she empathized.

"You haven't been able to write much either?"

"Not for enjoyment. The only things I've written are essays, homework, and text messages."

"Sucks, doesn't it?" he said, feeling her pain.

"You can say that again."

"Sucks, doesn't it?" he repeated.

Clare rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"Smartass," she accused him.

Eli dramatically put his hand over his heart and released a fake sob.

"Clare that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me."

She bit her lips and tried to hold back her giggles; she was pleased that Eli was making his jokes again and that he was not showing any signs of worry.

"You're cute when you try not to laugh," Eli told her.

"If it wasn't so late I . . . I wouldn't have to hold it in," she said, letting out a brief yawn in the process.

"You look tired," he told her.

"I am a bit," she said, fighting the temptation to let out another yawn. "But I'm fine."

"It is almost one; do you just want to call it a night?"

"Only if we can do this again tomorrow," she answered, craving sleep but also wanting to talk to Eli.

"You got it. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Talk to you then."

"Goodnight," he told her. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said before reluctantly ending the call and logging out of Skype. Wanting Eli lying in this bed next to her, she closed her laptop and put it on her side table before taking her plush panda in her arms. She let out another yawn and held the bear tightly before resting her head on her pillow and instantly falling asleep . . .

()()

"Clare, are you up?" Helen hollered.

Clare's eyes snapped open, despite the tiredness she still had. She tiredly rolled over on her side, wondering why Helen was up now when she was usually not awake until fifteen minutes after she woke. Her eyes landed on her alarm clock and her eyes widened and she sat straight up when she saw that she had overslept by an hour and she should be at Degrassi in fifteen minutes.

"Crap!" she exclaimed, untangling herself from her covers.

"Clare!"

"I'll be right down!" she responded, quickly gathering all of her books so she would not have to struggle with them once she was ready.

Annoyed by the predicament she was now in, Clare hurriedly got ready. To her dismay, she did not have the time to fully dry her hair after her shower, let alone do anything with it. She towel dried it until she could pull it back before throwing on some jeans and a shirt, not really caring how she looked as long as she got to school on time. Once she was ready as she could get, she raced downstairs to see Helen standing at the door with a granola bar and a juice pouch in her hands.

"Here you go," she said, forcing the pitiful breakfast into Clare's hands before they rushed out of the front door.

Clare ate and drank in the car, forcing herself to wake up by tapping her foot as Helen drove to Degrassi. She bolted out of the car the second Helen parked and she raced into her Physics class just in time for homeroom to begin. Out of breath, she dragged herself to her seat next to Alli, who was taken aback by Clare's late appearance.

"Rough morning?" she guessed, seeing how the Clare she was seeing now was a completely contrast to the one she usually saw.

"I overslept," she explained once she could breathe easily again.

"Are you okay?" K.C asked, holding an energy drink in his hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, turning around to face him and Dave. "Can I have a drink of that?"

Without waiting for a reply, Clare snatched the beverage and chugged half of it, ignoring the taste that she did not have a liking for. She swallowed many gulps in hope that it would substitute the energy that her usual cup of morning coffee gave her.

"Thanks," she said, returning only one-fourth of the drink back to K.C.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Dave asked, not being able to recall a time when Clare was so frazzled.

"Never better."

Ignoring their surprised expressions and any comments they were having in their heads, she turned back in her seat and beginning to dig through her bag for her textbook. Alli continued to turn to Clare, still in shock about her late arrival and shocking appearance.

"Clare . . ."

"I'm fine," she said, predicting what Alli was about to say. "I just have to focus."

"Focus?" she echoed. "You do you really expect to focus in the state you're in? You should go home and sleep or something."

"I can't sleep. I have too much work to do."

"Is this work necessary or are you just adding it on?"

"It's mainly studying, but it's just as important as the homework."

"Clare, you're overworking yourself," Alli tried to reason with her.

"No, I'm not."

"Have you looked in the mirror lately? You have dark circles under your eyes. When was the last time you had a decent night sleep?"

"I'm sleeping fine, alright?" Clare snapped.

"How many hours are you getting?" Alli asked.

"Enough."

"Think about this, Clare. You're working every day, you're studying every chance you get, you have homework, you're doing nonstop research about scholarships, and you have an essay to finish before tomorrow; it's time to let some things go."

"I can't," Clare argued. "I have to make the money, I have to get accepted, I have to bring my grades up, and I have to get a full scholarship."

"You're smart enough as it is. All this extra work is just putting unnecessary stress on you."

"I wouldn't be doing all of this if it wasn't necessary."

"Have you even talked to Eli lately?"

"Yes, I talked to him last night," she stated, knowing that Alli would not be able hound her about it. For a second she honestly thought that she would be able to get back to studying without another interruption, but Alli was not going to let her get away with this.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that you are not putting your relationship to the side, but I don't think he would want you doing this to yourself."

"I'm doing this for him."

"He asked you to take on all this work?"

"No, but doing it will increase my chances into getting into U of O; it's all going to pay off when I'm with him next year."

"Clare, I get you really want to get into Ottawa to be with him, but you can't keep doing this to yourself. You'll make yourself sick if you keep doing this."

"I'll slow down once Eli comes back to visit."

"That could be _weeks_ from now."

"I'll survive."

"You told me you wouldn't go overboard with the work."

"I don't have a choice."

"What does that mean?"

Clare snapped her head to Alli, her eyes wild with tiredness and frustration.

"I _need_ to get into U of O! If I don't, Eli might . . ."

"What?"

Clare desperately wanted to tell Alli just so she would not be alone in this secret. She did not want to betray Eli, and that was the only reason she had not talked to his parents, her mom, or Alli and Adam about the situation. Plus he had promised her that he would stop cutting, so it would probably be harsh for her to reveal his burden when he was trying to get better.

"I'm scared that he'll break up with me," she lied, her conscience too tired to care that she was not telling the truth to her best friend.

"Clare," Alli said; she had gotten to know Eli that past summer and she was certain that there was next to no chance of him considering that.

"We're far apart and we've only seen each other twice since he left," she stated, defending her lie. "All our effort could fall apart if I don't get into Ottawa; I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen."

"Eli loves you more than anything; he's not going to break up with you."

"You don't know what it's like, okay?" she snapped. "Your boyfriend is still here and you don't have to worry about this stuff!"

Annoyed, Clare turned back to her Physics textbook and began reading the next section in the chapter. She was furious that Alli was not listening to her and that did not understand; it did not really help that she had been depriving herself of enough sleep and had gotten to school late which resulted in a bitter mood.

"Okay," Alli said softly, seeing that she had crossed a line since she could not show empathy. "Do what you have to do, but at least consider dropping a few things."

"Fine," she said only so Alli would stop telling her what she could and could not do.

Clare avoided speaking to Alli for the rest of the day to save herself from anymore lectures. To keep herself from looking in her direction, she studied and worked whenever she could. She had many sodas throughout the day that her fingers were twitching whenever she was not forcing them to stay still.

She was so exhausted after work that she wanted to sleep of her shakes, but she could not; her essay still had to be done and that meant she would have to stay awake until she was finished with it. She sat at her desk, her rough draft at her side and a fresh cup of coffee by her side; she was ready to write and email this in one day before the deadline . . .

She could not finish this final essay. Every time she would type a letter, all she could see were Eli's cuts on his arm and shoulders; she would occasionally have vivid images of taking his pocketknife and slicing his skin until the blood spilt. It made her nauseated and guilt-ridden to the point that she would stop working altogether. For hours tried to focus on the ending of her essay, but her fingers were numb and her heart was sore. She made many attempts to keep going or to try again, but it would always become too much.

She was so distracted by this that she did not even bother studying that night. She got home from the Dot, did her homework, had a brief talk with Eli, and then she believed that would be able to work on the essay; but she was proven wrong when she sat there for so long without typing a single word. For the first time in a while, she dreaded the fact that she would be leaving the country soon. She would be leaving home, Eli, and everything she loved; she tried to tell herself that it was mild anxiety since she was going to be in a different setting but she was not quite sure how much she believed it.

Clare thought of the positive, but not even that was able to convince her to type. She thought of how this would help her with getting accepted to Ottawa and how she would have the opportunity to go, and yet she would always see Eli's scars.

After letting out many yawns and continuing to struggle to keep her eyes open, she surrendered to her need for sleep and crawled into her bed at one thirty, trying not to think about England, how hard it would be to finish her essay, or Eli.

()()

Earlier that week, Helen had arranged for her, Clare, Randall, and Alyson to have a dinner at Little Miss Steaks. According to Helen, it was Randall's idea since he did not have a true opportunity to spend time with Clare while she was over at his and Alyson's apartment the previous weekend. Clare agreed when it was first suggested, but now she would do anything to get out of it. That Friday was not kind to her in many ways, and schoolwork and exhaustion were just the tip of the iceberg. But Clare knew that resisting or asking to reschedule would only irritate Alyson and she did not want any more frustrating thoughts on her mind.

After working for three hours, Clare stepped into the restaurant at a quarter after seven to see Alyson, Randall, and Helen sitting at the table as they looked over their menus.

"Hi," she greeted them as she arrived at the table.

"Hi," they chorused.

"Sorry I'm late," Clare said, pulling up a seat.

"Where have you been, honey?" Randall asked her.

"Work," she answered.

"Really? On a Friday?" Alyson clarified.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I need to start saving up money, so I'm working whenever I can."

"Now don't go putting too much stress on your plate," Randall advised her.

"I won't," Clare said, perfectly aware that she was telling a lie considering how much she had done the past two weeks.

A waiter then came to take their orders before everyone attempted to make small talk. Clare hoped in vain that no one would talk to her so she could reflect on some of the recent decisions she had made and give her time to predict what she could do about her future. With so much on her mind, she really was not in the mood to converse with anyone but she knew perfectly well that she would have to speak eventually.

"So what have you been up to, Clare?" Alyson asked once their food had arrived.

"Not much," she answered. "I've been doing a lot of studying and working."

"That is good," Alyson said, clearly impressed. "It's great that you're focusing on your studies."

"Thanks," Clare said, surprised that Alyson had given her a compliment.

"And I'm pleased that you are working for your money instead of mooching."

Clare was not sure how to respond, thus she simply stared blankly at the table, wishing that there was a way to escape this dinner and lock herself in her room.

"And with all this extra money you've been earning," she heard Alyson say, "you will probably have enough to pay for your ticket for England plus some other things and you'll still have enough to help you for university."

Clare glanced down at her plate before taking in a breath. She had not revealed her plan to anyone yet, for she only made up her mind a mere few hours ago, and she decided that now was as good of time as any to tell someone the news first.

"Um . . . actually, Alyson . . . I'm not going to England."

* * *

"_I bleed for you _

_Forever I will lie awake _

_I would die for you"_

_~"Die For You" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

I'm hoping to have the next chapter up by Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday. Review please!


	134. Story of My Life

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

You guys are complete experts in How to Make Turbo's Day 101! I was in such a glum mood a couple of hours after posting the last chapter and seeing feedback from reviews and whatnot really boosted my spirits! Thank you Jessie's Wonders, huffletodapuffle, Eclarexoxo, Jordanxx, Degrassieclare23, sushi.23, and J.A.L.L for your reviews and MusicLuver419, Carissa35350, and xEClare3 for the support on twitter! And thank you to all who subscribed and added this to favorites. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: It's a bird, it's a plane, it's . . . me. I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Four

Story of My Life

"What?" Helen said, not allowing a second of silence to pass.

"I'm not going," she repeated, a hollow feeling settling in her heart as the truth became real.

"That's ridiculous, Clare," Alyson stated.

"No, I gave it some serious thought and I decided that I'm going."

"But what about all the work you've done for it?" Randall asked. "You shouldn't just let that all go to waste."

"It's not a waste," Clare argued. "I've saved up some money that could go towards something else and I've improved my writing."

"You were looking forward to this not so long ago."

"I can change my mind," she shrugged.

"Honey," Helen began, "you were so excited about going. Why would you just give it up?"

"I gave it a lot of thought and I know that this would be best for me."

"What made you change your mind?" Alyson spoke.

"Please stop with all the questions," she pleaded. "I've made up my mind and I'm not going to go; end of story."

The table was quiet, but Clare knew it would not last; it was impossible that her parents and stepmother would allow her to make this decision without more details. She used the silence to her advantage and formed answers to all the questions any of them could have for her.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Eli, would it?" Alyson asked.

Clare felt her face turn red, already predicting what her family would say if she told them the truth.

"Alyson –."

"You can't throw away this opportunity for a boy."

"It's not just that," she said, not wanting anyone to give her reasons to change her mind. "I could use the money for university; and I would rather spend my last year of high school with my friends and family."

"You didn't seem so concerned about that when you first got the news."

"Things have changed," she responded. "I don't want to go if I have to be away from the people I love."

"It's only three months then you'll come back home," Helen said.

"I know, but I don't want to be away from home and surrounded by strangers."

"Did Eli ask you not to go?" Alyson asked.

Clare rolled her eyes; it was so typical of Alyson to make Eli out to be the bad guy in every situation possible.

"No."

"Then there should be nothing to hold you back; we'll keep in touch with you when you're away."

"It doesn't matter anyway," Clare said. "I had to submit my three essays today and I haven't finished the last one; I'll get over it."

"Clare, if Eli asked you not to go, then you have to tell him that this is not his decision."

"He didn't tell me to stay," she restated angrily. "I want to stay for me and I have my own reasons to not go."

"But if Eli is the reason you considered not going in the first place, then maybe you should not be considering this at all."

"It shouldn't matter what my reasons are; if I don't want to go, I won't go."

"You wanted to go," Alyson emphasized. "Whether it's because of Eli or not, you should not throw it away."

"I don't want to go anymore, okay?"

"Sweetie –," Randall tried to stepped in.

"Can we please just drop it?" she snapped.

The rest of their dinner was eaten in a tense silence. Clare actually enjoyed it since she did not have to listen to any of their stories; plus she was not exactly in the mood to talk to them when she was absolutely exhausted.

She avoided Helen when they got home so she would not have a chance to talk to her about her decision. She went right to her room to study and do math problems for the remainder of the night. That weekend she was either in her room doing work or was at the Dot working; she only left them both when necessary and she would do so with great frustration.

By Monday, Clare's mind was barely functioning; she would constantly zone out and she would not come back to reality until she felt herself falling asleep or someone was trying to get her attention. Clare was currently her AP English class, forcing herself to stay awake so she could pay attention. There were two things she craved for, neither of which she could have. She wanted to be in Eli's arms and to sleep for as long as she could. To make the attempt to get rid of one of these desires, she got a soda form one of the vending machines during morning study period and hoped that the caffeine would kick in soon.

"Clare?" Alli said as she approached her friend as she chugged down the drink.

"What? Yeah? What's up? Yeah?" Clare said rather quickly.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Peachy. Never better. Why?"

"You're all jittery."

"Oh yeah. I'm overtired and I'm on a caffeine-high."

"You're still doing this to yourself?" Alli exclaimed, thinking that she would have realized over the weekend that was she was doing was not healthy.

"If there was another way, I would do it; but there isn't, so there you go."

Alli looked at Clare as she drank the other half of the soda, wishing that she did not continue harming herself in this way no matter how pure her intentions were.

"Clare, this is going too far. You need to start getting more sleep."

"Can't sleep. Won't sleep. Lots of work," she said as she threw away the empty bottle of soda before walking down the hall. Alli followed after her, desperate for her to see reason.

"Listen to me," she said firmly. "You are not helping anyone by doing this. Sooner or later you are going to crash and –."

"I'm fine," Clare argued. "Stop treating me like a child."

"I will once you start listening to me."

"This is my life and I'll do what I want to make sure that everything works out."

"I don't want to stand to the side and let you do this to yourself; you're going to –."

"Shut up, Alli!" Clare snapped. "I am _not_ in the mood to deal with your lectures right now!"

"I'm just trying to help!"

"I don't need your help! I need you to get off my back!"

She turned on her heel before marching to the library. Once she was there, she pulled out her homework and frantically began writing what she had to. Frustrated at Alli and at all her teachers for making her work today, she spent her entire morning study period doing her Physics homework and reading her book for English class. When the bell rang, she growled at how loud it was and how the people in the hall were making so much noise with no consideration for how some people were trying to work while being sleep deprived.

As she made her way to her next class, she saw Alli sitting next to Dave on a bench; her head was resting on his shoulder while tears stained her cheeks and he kept an arm around her as though he was comforting her. Curious, Clare carefully hid behind a corner and kept her ears sharp, hoping to overhear what she was saying.

"She's just stressing out, that's all," Dave told her. "She didn't mean what she said."

"But she's been acting like this ever since she got back from visiting Eli. I don't know what's gotten into her; I was only trying to help but she's . . ."

"I know, but she's tired; you know how bitchy people can get when they don't get enough sleep."

"Yeah, but . . . it just sucks."

Clare rolled her eyes before continuing on to her class, annoyed that Alli was talking to Dave about her behind her back. In her eyes, Alli did not have a right to be spilling tears; she was not the one work around the clock to make sure she could still have a future with the person she loved. No, Clare was the one who deserved to feel the pain and everyone would not be talking about her like this if they understood what she was going through.

Alli had nothing to be upset about; her boyfriend was here, her parents were together, her sibling was in the same country as her, and she had enough friends to keep her happy. Clare would kill for that but she knew it would be impossible for all of these wishes to come true. With this in her head, she did not speak to Alli for the rest of the week. She was not in mood to converse with a person who was constantly trying to talk her out of her routine or was gossiping to her boyfriend.

It was now Friday night and she and Eli decided the night before that they would meet on Skype at seven for their long-distance date. She was extremely tired so she started chugging a coffee she made minutes ago, not caring that it was cooling rather quickly. She was sitting on her bed, surrounded by books. Her Physics book and homework was on one side, her Calculus homework was to her left, and she was working on the history homework in front of her.

It was becoming harder and harder for her to stay awake with every blink. She only got three hours of sleep the previous night so she would be able to finish her book for English so she would not have to worry about finishing it over the weekend. When she felt herself dozing off, she would snap her head back up and shake it until she was certain that she would get five extra minutes of consciousness. She alternated between each subject, absorbing all the knowledge possible.

Clare looked at every book and completed every problem . . . but then she would see that she would mix up her thoughts and she was momentarily confused when she wondered why there was not any Calculus in her history book. It did not make sense and she felt herself becoming lightheaded when she realized that velocity was not the answer to one of her math problems.

Her books were gawking at her and it seemed that the walls were closing in around her. She gripped her hair with her hands, wishing for the confusion to disappear as she focused on her Physics . . . or was it her Calculus? . . . Or was it her history? . . . Or was it her English? . . . No, it could not have been that . . . could it?

There were too many papers, too many books, too many letters, and too many numbers for her brain to absorb. She released her hair and felt her hands begin to shake; she had to focus . . . Eli was depending on her . . . she blinked and she saw his eyes, but she wondered why he was not in front of her . . . he was there a second ago wasn't he?

She breathed and closed her eyes, trying to calm her brain. When she did, she found herself falling through the earth and she never felt herself hit the bottom of the world below . . .

"Clare . . . Clare . . . Clare . . ."

Her eyes snapped open when she felt someone shaking her shoulder. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, feeling her legs and hips bumping into books as she did. She saw Randall standing near her and wondered why he was in her room.

"What time is it?" Clare yawned.

"Noon," her father answered.

"What?"

"Yes, it's Saturday."

"Wait, Saturday?" she repeated, all tiredness disappearing from her tone.

"Yes."

"I'm going to be late for work," Clare said, preparing to jump out of her bed.

"You're not going to work today," Randall said directly, putting a hand on Clare's shoulder to make her sit on the bed.

"I have to. I missed yesterday and Peter's going to be mad enough –."

"Clare, I talked to your mother yesterday and we both decided that you need to stop working so much. She called Peter this morning told him you won't be coming in for a few days and he said that you need it, working as much as you have."

"No, I _need _to get to work."

"Why?" he said.

"I need to save up money for university."

"That's good, but you don't need to work all the time."

"But Dad –."

"Sweetie, you've been working nonstop since you got back from Ottawa a few weeks ago; you're going to make yourself sick if you keep doing this."

"I'm fine."

"You're not," he protested. "You haven't been eating properly, you're always stressed, and you obviously haven't been sleeping enough. Take a day to relax, read, and just act seventeen; and think about whether or not you're putting too much pressure on yourself."

Clare sat there and inhaled. Maybe Randall was right and she had pushed herself over the edge; she was aware that what she had done was not healthy and she felt ridiculous for doing it anyway. She let out her breath, deciding that it was time to stop being so reckless with her work habits . . . she just hoped that she would find a way to keep her grades up without going overboard with the studying.

"Okay."

Randall gave his daughter a kiss on the head before turning around and leaving her room. She sat there, leaving herself to reflect on the last couple of weeks; she felt ashamed for letting herself get carried away. As she thought, she gathered her books off her bed and papers and put them near her bag, her head pounding and stomach churning at all she had done. She was cold to Alli, she had neglected calling Adam when she would usually call him once every two weeks, and then she –.

"Eli," she said as she caught sight of her laptop. Her breath got caught in her throat and put her hands over her face, remembering how they were supposed to have a long-distance date last night. Feeling cold with regret and hating herself at the same time, Clare quickly found her phone to see if Eli had gotten in contact with her at all. Her heart sunk when she saw that he had sent her text asking her of her whereabouts; he had also left her two voicemails to tell her that he was ready for the date whenever she was and that he was looking forward to it. He sounded really happy about the date they were going to have she felt wretched for letting him wait for her and she ended up not showing up. Disgusted at herself, she dialed his number through speed dial before hearing his voice on his out-going message.

"You've reached Eli. Obviously I'm not here so leave a message and I might call you back."

"Baby, it's me. I'm really, really, really, really, really sorry I didn't show up for our date last night; I didn't mean to and I'm really sorry. I guess you're at work right now, but if you're not busy at eight thirty, can we Skype? Again, I'm sorry and I hope you're okay. I miss you and I love you very, very, very much. I'll talk to you soon. Bye."

Clare growled at herself as she ended her call. To say that she felt horrible about what she had done was the grandest understatement she could think of; she did all this work so she could be with Eli in the future but now she possibly caused trouble for the present. She had talked to him every day since she left Ottawa, but she wondered if accidentally doing this to him would push him to the edge. She prayed that he was fine and that he was not being eaten alive by fear again; if he was being tortured by his thoughts because of her actions, she doubted if she would forgive herself for it. This may have been one unfortunate incident, but it was possible that it was all this situation needed for Eli to fall apart.

She took a shower and ate a decent lunch, which satisfied her greatly since she had rarely had a decent meal that entire week. Afterwards, she went back in her room to call Alli, who she had definitely hurt that week. She apologized over and over, hoping to be forgiven; Alli gave her relief and they were both pleased that they were both on good terms again. Once everything was sorted out with Alli, she decided to take a nap; to her surprise, that nap lasted a long period of time. When she awoke, she saw that it was eight twenty-five; she snatched her laptop up and rested it on her lap, determined not to miss another Skype chat with Eli . . . that is assuming if he showed up.

She sat there for five minutes, waiting for him as she hoped that he was not too mad at her. She would not blame him if he was but she just wanted his anger to be the only negative emotion he would have if he was to have one.

Clare soon saw Eli come online and she felt a knot in her stomach unwind; she immediately turned on video call and began to talk the second she was able to see Eli's face.

"Eli, I am so, so, so, so, so, _so_ sorry. I didn't mean to miss our date and –."

"Clare –."

"– It was really stupid of me to miss it and I feel horrible –."

"Clare –."

"– I never would have ever done that to you in a million years and –."

"_Clare_," he said loud enough for her to be quiet. "It is okay."

"No," she protested. "It was stupid of me to do."

"It wasn't like you did it on purpose . . . right?"

"Absolutely not," she interjected.

"Then where were you?"

She groaned, recalling the reason and feeling ridiculous for doing it.

"Um . . . I . . . I've been doing a lot of stuff with homework, studying, and work and I started doing more work than necessary and I crashed last night."

"Really?" he said.

"I know, I know," she groaned. "I overdid it to the extreme and I've been depriving myself of sleep and my body just gave up on me last night."

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"I am now that I slept for seventeen and a half hours straight."

"Oh God," he remarked.

"And then I slept on and off throughout the day."

"Sounds like you had a relaxing day."

"I feel like a sloth."

"Well, you clearly needed your rest."

"I did," she said.

"There's one thing I don't get: why did you study so much if it was driving you crazy?"

Clare bit her lip, wishing she had a better excuse other than she slept through their date. She felt foolish for not handling her routine better and thus leading her to this situation.

"I want to get into Ottawa and I just wanted to have the grades to get in and I didn't think mine were good enough so I started studying all the time."

"And so to make sure you passed all of your classes you worked to yourself to insanity?" he specified.

"Uh . . . basically," she said, seeing his statement as the truth.

"You don't have to worry about that," he eased her. "You're smart enough to get in without overdoing it."

"I know, but I got a C on my midterm report and –."

"I got an F in Physics around this time last year, remember? I still got in."

"But you brought it up to an A before the end of the school year."

"Exactly!" he said. "You still have time to bring up that grade."

"Yeah, but . . . what if I don't?"

"Clare, there is not a doubt in my mind that you will be accepted," he told her. "And if somehow you don't, there are other schools in the city or in neighboring cities; we'll still be together by this time next year."

"And sharing an apartment," she reminded with a grin.

"Precisely," he said. "So don't worry."

She listened to Eli and it was only now that she felt like she could believe what Alli had been telling her for days. She knew she had the academic abilities to be accepted and she shook her head when she realized that she did not need to push herself like she did.

"I'm an idiot, aren't I?"

"You're not an idiot; you just got a little carried away."

"I promise I'll make this up to you next time I see you," she swore, feeling guilty that her ill decision-making led to missing a date that Eli was looking forward to.

"Babe, don't worry about it."

"You deserve it. You're not mad that –."

"I don't have a reason to be mad."

"Well, I missed our date so I want to make up for that."

"No you don't," he assured her. "I'm just glad that it wasn't anything life or death."

"I still feel horrible for not showing up."

"Then should I tell you some good news to make you smile?"

"You can try," she permitted.

"I'm coming back on Friday."

Clare put a hand over her mouth and tried not to squeal in delight; she may have only seen Eli three weeks ago, but it seemed like an eternity since she had been so busy.

"You just made my whole day," she said as she removed her hand.

"And you're smiling again," he noticed.

The smile on her face was so wide that it made her cheeks hurt since they had not been stretched so much in days – maybe weeks – and she was ecstatic that she would be able to be back in Eli's arms in less than a week.

"I can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait to see you either," he replied. "I won't be getting home until Friday night, but I'm all yours on Saturday."

"I promise to actually be there this time," she said.

Eli smirked, not understanding why she would not let this go.

"It's over, Clare," he said to her gently. "It's no big deal."

Clare's brain kept telling her to stop obsessing over this; Eli was clearly fine with what had happened, but she recalled last year when he did not show up for a date and how heartbroken she was because of it. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Kate was around then and that she was going to offer herself to him for the first time that influenced her misery, but she did not fully comprehend how Eli was hardly affected by her absence.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," he eased her again.

"How are you not mad at me?"

"Because I am an amazingly understanding boyfriend," he said with pride.

She chuckled, not arguing with him since she knew it was true. She met his eyes through webcam, silently promising him that this would not happen again.

"You're the best."

"Back at ya," he said. "Just promise me something?"

"Yeah," she agreed.

"_Never_ work yourself too hard like that again."

"Deal," she consented, not being able to imagine how she had kept that vile routine for as long as she did; recalling how much she had to do for it and the consequences of her actions, she felt a yawn slip from her lips and her eyes became heavy.

"Still tired?" Eli guessed.

"Yeah," she said.

"Okay, well you catch up on your sleep."

"But we just started talking."

"We'll have plenty of time for that when the weekend gets here."

Clare released another yawn and grinned at the thought of next week when she would be able to sleep in Eli's arms.

"I promise that we'll have a good weekend."

"I don't doubt it. Now you get some sleep."

"Okay," she said, the idea of sleeping sounding more inviting. "Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams, Piglet."

"I love you, Fluffy."

"I love you too."

Clare logged out of Skype and put her laptop to the side; she then let out sigh of relief before resting her head on her pillow and falling straight to sleep . . .

* * *

"_Poison the hero_

_Back down to zero_

_No consequence at all"_

_~"Story of My Life" by Automatic Loveletter_

* * *

Good luck to all of those who are about to start final exams soon. Mine start next week so I wish you all luck on studying and taking the tests.

Next (and better) update to come either Thursday, Friday (so excited for Vegas), or Saturday. Review?


	135. World Around Me

My thoughts and prayers are with those victims of the Newtown, Connecticut shooting.

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you degrassiforevah, huffletodapuffle, Eclarexoxo, BlackRabbit550, xStayWithMe, MadameDegrassi4587, J.A.L.L, sushi.23, Degrassieclare23, and iloveandlikedegrassi for your incredible reviews! I watched Degrassi Las Vegas and I saw the promo and . . . let's just say that I hope being an optimist pays off. This is a bit of a filler chapter to a certain extent, but good things are coming in the chapters ahead. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: VIVA DEGRASSI! No, I don't own it.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Five

World Around Me

Clare's stress level decreased after that weekend; once she was no longer working all the time and was getting enough sleep, she became serene and was able to enjoy her life again. She still had enough homework to keep her busy at night, but she got it done with little difficulty now that it was not an obsession. She had more tests that week as well, and so she was relieved when Friday night finally arrived.

She did not see Eli that night since he was spending time with CeCe and Bullfrog, plus he was exhausted after a long day of class and then a long drive. The couple therefore decided after a talk on the phone that they would enjoy each other's company that Saturday.

The couple was now lying on a blanket under the afternoon sky at their clearing not far from the abandoned church. He was on top of her as he sucked on her neck and she moaned contently as he did. Her arms were sprawled above her head as Eli's hands rested on her shoulders.

"Baby, you're really tense," he informed her removing his mouth.

"It's been a long week. Don't stop."

Eli obeyed and attached himself to her neck for another minute before pulling away again.

"I thought you were cutting back on the workload," he recalled, massaging her shoulders to substitute to his lips on her skin.

"I am. I'm not working weekends at the Dot anymore and I only study when I have to."

"Good," he smiled before kissing her nose.

"So if you don't mind . . ."

He gave her a lopsided smile before paying attention to her neck again.

"Oh," she gasped when he kissed her sweet spot. "That's it."

"Now you're relaxing," he murmured to her skin. "What made you so stressed this week?"

"Test . . . a book analysis . . . work . . . another test . . ."

"Sounds like you've had a long week."

"More like _four_ long weeks," she corrected; she may not have been working all the time, but this was still the most relaxed she felt in a while.

"Then you really need to take it easy this weekend."

"I intend to."

"That's my girl . . ."

Eli grinned against her skin before sliding his hand down her side and resting it on her waist. As his hand touched her, he trailed his lips up her neck, across her jaw, and finally met her in a kiss. She moaned, her toes curling as his tongue explored her mouth and fondled her lips with skill.

"Do you have any plans tonight?" he asked, removing his lips as his hand caressed her side.

"No," she breathed, her mind being consumed by blissful thoughts.

"Then may I make a proposition to you?" he whispered to her before kissing under her ear.

"Mm-hmm," she agreed.

"You . . . me . . . my room . . . dimmed lights . . . some music . . . possibly limited attire?"

Clare giggled at his kisses and his suggestion, very tempted to accept his offer.

"Possibly," she said teasingly. "How limited are we talking?"

"As limited as you want," he said.

"Well . . . we'll just have to see where the night takes us then."

Eli smiled at her before kissing the side of her neck that he had neglected until this point. Clare kept her eyes closed and allowed the chills to rush over her while he cared for her body.

"I love the way you kiss my neck."

She felt him smile and she bit back on her lips as she moaned.

"I love the way you moan," he told her.

Clare blushed and tried to catch her breath, wishing for Eli to comprehend how amazing he was making her feel.

"Your turn," Clare declared, wanting to give his neck the same treatment he had given hers.

"Not today," he protested as he moved his lips to the crook of her neck.

"Why not?" she asked.

"You've been stressed," he stated. "I want to take that away from you."

"You've been stressed too," she reminded.

"Not enough to sleep for seventeen hours straight," he recalled.

Clare rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine."

"Clare," he said firmly, moving so he was looking straight at her eyes.

Hearing the determination in his voice, Clare complied and relaxed again before allowing him to continue. He picked up where he left off and it only took one peck on her neck for all of her feelings to return and she could not battle her gasps.

"You're so beautiful," Eli whispered, kissing her skin more softly now. She blushed and tried to breathe, her heart fluttering.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too," he replied before kissing her collarbone.

While he was distracted, Clare put her hands on his shoulders and flipped them over. She pinned him to the ground by straddling his waist and keeping her hands attached to his shoulders.

"You, sir, deserve to be rewarded for being the best and most understanding boyfriend ever," she said directly.

"I'm fine."

"Come on. It's not like you're going to push me off, right?"

He glared at her, knowing that she was right and noticing how resolute she was.

"Will it make you happy?" he asked.

"Yes, it will."

"Well, you know nothing matters more to me than your happiness," he smirked.

She grinned at him and kissed his lips before going to his neck.

"I love your neck," she whispered to him as she planted her lips on it. Eli lied beneath her, amazed how Clare had insisted on doing this for him and was slowly sinking into paradise with ever kiss she granted him. As she kissed him, he placed his hands on her hips and he felt her moan at the feeling; before he could react, she put her lips to his and began kissing him passionately. She slid her hands from his shoulders to his head, cupping his face as their lips fondled without hesitation.

After kissing for what could have been an hour when it was probably less than three minutes, Clare finally removed her lips and rested her head against Eli's, both of them trying to remember how humans were supposed to breathe. She smiled down at him and he grinned back, his right hand abandoning her hip.

"Want to go get some dinner and go back to my place?" he suggested, tracing a single finger over her waist.

"Sure," she nodded.

They both stood up from the ground and Eli collected the blanket and put it under his arm before taking one of Clare's hands; they began go into the woods and follow their path back to the church, both of them smiling at the moment they had exchanged.

"I'm glad to be home," he told her.

"Me too," she said. "Having a day like this is exactly what I needed after weeks of craziness."

"And it's not over yet," he reminded her, guiding her over a tree that seemed to have fallen since his last visit.

"Plus we have the whole night," she said, walking closer to him.

"I can hardly wait," he grinned, the thoughts of him kissing her passionately on his bed making his heart skip. Clare grinned back and squeezed his hand, eager for the same reasons as he.

"We should probably wait until your parents are asleep though."

"Well, Bullfrog's working at the station tonight and CeCe's a heavy sleeper," he said. "If the odds are in our favor, we will have complete privacy by midnight."

"Perfect," she approved.

Eli smiled at her, looking forward to that night just as he looked forward to every intimate moment he had with her.

"So I have this idea," he suggested when they finally escaped the trees. "What if you and I had a special night together couple of days before you go to England?"

"Oh . . . um . . ."

"I just mean like dinner and you staying over," he added quickly as they approached Morty. "We can even see a movie or go out someplace special if you wanted."

Clare rolled her lips. She had not the chance to tell him about her change of plans; she was planning to tell him tonight when they were alone in his room so he could be remarkably happy when they were intimate. She knew that he was worried about her leaving, so she did not doubt that he would be pleased that she would be in Toronto instead of far away. She watched Eli as he put the blanket back in Morty before he returned to her.

"If you don't want –," he began when she did not answer.

"It's not that," she said, walking to the front of the hearse. Eli followed suit and looked her, noticing just how pleased she seemed to be. She took his hands and held them, trying not to ease into her news instead of revealing it on the spot. "There's just . . . not going to be much of a reason for us to do that."

"What do you mean?"

Clare looked directly into his perplexed eyes and took in a breath before grinning at him.

"I'm staying here."

"What?" was his first reaction, but his eyes did not show any reaction.

"I'm staying here next year instead of going to England."

Eli released her hands and let his fall to his sides in shock. He could not believe what he just heard nor did he think that she was being serious about it. She wrote essays, she had been working hard to get the money for her ticket, and she had been so excited to go and now she told him that she was not going to go?

"You're not going?"

"I'm not."

Clare then saw darkness come over Eli's eyes and she could not understand why; he shook his head and walked closer to the car, leaving his girlfriend with a furrowed brow.

"You're not happy?" she stated, following him.

Eli leaned against Morty's front fender, perplexed that Clare had come to this decision.

"Are you crazy? Clare, this is a great opportunity for you and you've been working so hard to go."

"I know, but I don't want to go anymore."

"Why not?" he asked, facing her again. "You've been talking about this for months."

"But I've been thinking and it's just not the right time to go."

"What do you mean it's not the right time?" he interrogated.

"Eli, I already had to explain this to my parents; please just understand that I don't want to go and leave it at that."

"I can't."

"Why can't you? You weren't the one going to a workshop."

"But you are and you're someone I care about so I want to know."

"I've already told you."

"You and I know that isn't the complete truth."

"I don't want to leave the people I care about either."

Whatever her reasons were, Eli did not want her giving this up; not after all the work she had done and the effort she had put forth.

"No, you can't throw this away."

"I'm not throwing it away; I'm putting it on hold."

"Well, you still have to go. I'm sure there's –."

"It doesn't matter. My essays were due two weeks ago and I didn't submit them."

Eli crossed his arms and glared at her in disbelief, not being able to comprehend why she would make this decision.

"I can't believe you could do this!" he exclaimed.

Clare looked back at him, still stunned that he was feeling something other than joy. She expected him to be pleased, relieved even, but she did not see this coming.

"I really thought that out of everyone I know _you_ would be the one who would be happy about this."

"How can I be happy? You've been talking about this for months and I don't see why you would just give it up."

"I have my reasons."

"Like what?"

"I could use the money for something else and I want to be at home and I don't want to be too far away from you."

"We would keep in touch like you said."

"But what if you –?"

She stopped herself, but it was too late. Eli instantly knew what she would be referring to: the cutting. His eyes darkened even more and Clare felt herself go cold with worry, wishing she had been more cautious.

"You're not going because I cut myself?"

"I didn't want you to worry or be upset while I was gone," she explained.

"I'll survive; you even said that I could call you if I needed to."

"But I'm not always going to be there to answer. What if you really need to talk to me one day and I'm not there?"

"The same thing can happen here," he reminded her.

"But it won't happen as much; I'll be able to talk to you more when I'm here."

"It's not like I'm going to call you all the time with problems."

"You called me in the middle of the night telling me that you felt the need to cut! What if you feel that way again but I can't answer your call? You could start cutting again."

"Your faith in me is incredible," he sneered, offended that she would actually think that he would return to the knife.

"I do have faith in you; it's just too much of a risk and I don't want anything to happen that could cause you to go back to it."

"Well this is perfect," he said sarcastically. "For the rest of your life I'll be known as the reason you didn't go to England."

"I want to be here for you!" she shouted. "I could miss a call and you could be upset for hours; I would rather be here and help you when I can instead of across the ocean."

"And how long is it going to be until you start saying that you wish you went?"

Clare crossed her arms, bemused and offended by his words.

"I'm trying to be a good girlfriend and be here for you!"

"I can take care of myself for three months! You shouldn't make a decision just like that!"

"I put a lot of thought into it, Eli!" she informed him fiercely. "And it wasn't easy either! I knew I was passing up something huge that would be good for university! But I can get into Ottawa without it!"

"This is not about Ottawa and you and I both know that it was just a perk of going! You wanted to go because you wanted to go to England!"

"Okay, I wanted to go! But England's not going anywhere and I would rather go in the future when I don't have to worry about university or anything!"

"So is it just coincidence that you started thinking of these things after you find out about what I did?"

"Look, if this was some other relationship, I would have gone!" she stated, not wanting to answer his question when she knew it would not help her.

"You were about to go until you found out what I was doing! So were we just another relationship until then?"

"You know that's not how I thought of us!" she stated, not liking how he was twisting her words. "I meant that I would not have made this decision if I did not care about you!"

"I'll be fine if you go to England!" he said.

"But I don't want to risk it!" she argued.

"Risk what? I've stopped cutting, remember? Or did you forget that I threw my knife in Rideau Canal?"

"I don't want you to be upset while I'm gone!"

"Whether you're in Toronto or in England, you're still going to be away from me! I'm going to be a bit upset at times because I miss you and that is not going to change! And just because I miss you more than I should and did something I'm not proud of doesn't mean you should start treating me differently!"

"I haven't been treating you that differently!" she protested. "But you can't just expect me to learn that you do that –!"

"_Did_!" he corrected.

"– to yourself and expect me to act like nothing has happened!"

"It was just a few cuts! If you think I'm –."

"Just a few?" she echoed. Angered, she grabbed his left arm, pulled it in her direction, and pushed the sleeve of his blazer up to reveal his arm to her. They could both see the marks that remained in the skin. "_These_ aren't just a few cuts, Eli! Don't you know how dangerous this could be?"

"I've stopped cutting, remember?" he snapped, yanking his arm out of her grasp and covering it again. "It's a bit late for the lecture. And if you think I'm so messed up that you need to throw away this opportunity, why do you want me to stay in Ottawa?"

"Because you wanted to go there for years!" she explained.

"And if I come back home it would be for you! And you didn't let me stay behind for you so I don't think you would like it if I just decided to come back here! That's how I feel about you deciding not going to England! It's because of me that you're not going! Do you know how guilty that makes me feel?"

"You didn't ask me to stay! You have nothing to feel guilty about!"

"Staying here wasn't even an option until you found out about the cutting!"

"And that made me realize that I can't leave because I want to stay here and be here for you."

"Because I'm a nutcase?" he assumed.

"Because you're my boyfriend!" she corrected. "And I love you and I don't want you to hurt yourself in any way! I know that I threw away something incredible, but it's not easy seeing the person you love more than anything scared and upset and you can't do anything about it other than talk to them when you're five hours away! So if I want to put some things to the side so I focus on what is more important to me, then I'm going to! And I will feel a lot better hearing from you every night so you can tell me if you're okay or not than be across the ocean without knowing!"

Out of breath and on the verge of tears, Clare turned her head down to the ground and leaned against Morty with her arms crossed. She breathed, wishing that he would understand. She was grateful that he did not yell back at her, but she wanted him to say something so she could know how he was feeling. Seconds later, she felt him slide next to her and he placed his hands on the hood behind him to support himself. He was quiet at first, but Clare heard him when he began speaking calmly.

"Listen, I appreciate how you want to be here for me and that you care so much, but I don't want the things I've done to influence what you do. It's not your job to change your life around for my benefit."

"But I don't want you to worry about us breaking up or anything."

"No matter what, Clare, that thought is always going to be in the back of my head until we're done with long-distance; it's going to be there no matter if you're five hours away or on the other side of the world."

Clare's heart jolted, wishing that he did not feel this pain or dread.

"I don't want you to worry more than you have to."

"But I don't want my feelings to get in the way of your happiness."

"I'll be happy here."

Eli let out a breath, seeing how he would have to find a way to get his point across to her so she would no longer hold herself back for him.

"You've done a lot for me and I know it wasn't always easy; you helped me with the hoarding, you put up with Kate since she was my friend at the time, you didn't hold me back from Ottawa, and you're supporting me like you always have. You deserve to do something for you for once and not worry about me."

Clare faced Eli, seeing the sincerity in his eyes.

"I'll remember that for the future," she said. "But please believe me when I tell you this: it was my decision to not go to England; I was going to go even after . . . that night but I soon realized that England isn't where I should be."

She then took his hand and held it, hoping that he would believe her.

"Okay?" she said to him.

"Okay," he accepted. Feeling horrible for yelling at her, he pulled her into a hug and they each exchanged their brief apologies.

"I promise that we'll go to England together someday," he told her, stroking her hair comfortingly.

"I actually like the sound of that a lot more than going to a workshop."

She kept herself pressed against him, feeling his warmth and love in his arms. She breathed in and out, trying not to shed a tear now that they were supposed to be recovering from their fight.

"By the way, you're not a nutcase," she told him.

"I'm glad you think that," he said. "Do you still want to go get some dinner before going back to my place?"

"Yeah," she agreed.

Eli led her to the hearse and they were driving to Little Miss Steaks a couple of minutes later. They had a pleasant dinner, but they talked less than they usually would have since they were still trying to forget about their fight. Once they were done eating, they went back to his house and watched a movie in the living room; they lied back together, but did not kiss or speak until the credits rolled. They then decided to go upstairs and Eli was currently changing in the bathroom while Clare pulled on a large shirt and pajama pants in his room. Eli returned a minute later and saw Clare sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall behind it as she held her legs to her chest. He noticed how her eyes were looking at the mattress and she was sitting too still.

"Are you okay?" he asked after turning out the light so only his lamp brightened the room.

"Yeah," she said.

Knowing that she was not being truthful, Eli walked towards his bed and sat next to Clare. He put his hand on one of her knees and she turned her head to him.

"What's wrong?" he asked tenderly.

"Nothing," she answered.

"Okay, now be honest."

Clare exhaled, seeing that Eli was trying to get her to open up and knowing that she would probably feel better once she talked to him.

"It sucks that we always end up fighting or something every time we see each other."

"It's not every time."

"Yes it is," she argued. "We fought about K.C, we fought a bit about me not answering your calls, and now we fought again today. It takes away from the time we spend together."

"Fights are normal in a relationship; we both know that."

"But we fight_ every single time_ we see each other."

"It's not always a bad thing," he said. "They allow us to let off steam and things usually get work out."

"I'm just . . . scared because we've been fighting so much."

"We haven't fought that much," he reminded her.

"But are we going to fight every time we see each other? That's how it seems to be going right now; it's like we can't have one weekend together when everything just goes perfectly."

Eli removed his hand from her knee and put his arm around her shoulders.

"The important thing is that we always make up."

"I just _hate _fighting with you."

"So do I," he said. "But it doesn't mean our time together shouldn't be brought down because of it."

Clare breathed out through her nose, seeing how dwelling on this would not help the situation and how she should let this go to savor the rest of their weekend.

"Maybe you're right," she accepted. "But we really need to stop fighting so much every time we visit."

"Alright, here's what I think," he began, also not wanting to argue with Clare when they spent time together. "Christmas break will be here soon and I'll be here for six weeks; I promise that you and I will spend time together and it will be just like old times. No fights, no worries, no stress, just us."

"No fights?" she repeated, only being able to imagine it.

"No fights."

Clare sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, craving for the days for when they were always glued at the hip with smiles on their faces without having dreadful thoughts in the back of their minds.

"That sounds perfect."

Eli kissed her head comfortingly before leaning back and then looking at her.

"So . . ." he began, his thumb smoothing over her shoulder in a seductive manner, ". . . Now have complete privacy . . ."

He put his lips to hers and she immediately surrendered to the feeling of his lips. While they kissed, however, Clare did not feel as pleased as she usually did when she and Eli were about to have one of their special nights. She freed her lips as soon as possible; after what had happened today and what they had just discussed, she was not exactly in the mood to get intimate. If she was happier and did not have to find a way to deal with the unfortunate situation of their long-distance relationship, she would have definitely been interested in doing more; now, however, she just wanted to lie down and wait for her misery to fade.

"Maybe next time?" she asked softly, afraid of hurting his feelings. She waited for his response, not wanting him to be upset or to think that she was rejecting him.

"Okay," he accepted, crestfallen but he understood.

"I'm sorry," she said, hearing the disappointment in his voice.

"It's okay," he said before kissing her cheek. "We've got all the time in the world for that."

Clare laid her hand on his thigh, not completely convinced that he was fine with turning down his offer.

"You know it's not because I'm not interested, right?"

"Clare," he said, "I'm fine. I'm not going to get upset because of a small change of plans."

"I know, but . . . you seemed to be looking forward to it."

"Yeah, but it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen. Besides, it means that we can skip right to one of my favorite parts of these kinds of nights."

"And what's that?"

Instead of speaking, Eli slid under the covers of his bed before lifting up the comforter to invite Clare to join him. Grinning, she lied in the bed next to him before scooting as close to him as possible. Eli wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head on his chest, sighing contently.

"This is one of my favorite parts too."

"And that is why I am perfectly happy with just doing this."

Pleased that he was so understanding and relieved that he was not upset, Clare grinned at him and brushed her leg against his.

"I wish you didn't have to leave tomorrow," she admitted. "It feels like you just got home and now you have to leave again."

"Remember, just four weeks and then I'm home for a month and a half for Christmas."

"It sucks that exams are coming up though; I'm going to be studying a lot when you first get back."

"Well then Edwards, I insist on us having multiple study dates so we can spend time together and get you prepared."

Clare smiled at him, her heart overjoyed by his consideration.

"If only we could have study dates when _you're_ studying for exams."

"Skype is a beautiful thing," he reminded with a grin.

"True," she said. "And when you get home, since we're going to be studying, maybe I can convince my mom for me to spend a couple of nights here during the week."

"You never cease to amaze me with your brilliance."

Clare giggled lightly before laying her arm across his chest.

"I love you," she said to him.

"I love you too," he responded before kissing her head and turning off his lamp. "Goodnight."

Before replying, Clare took one of the hands Eli had around her and slid it down until it was resting behind her upper thigh.

"Goodnight," she said, closing her eyes after seeing the content and thankful smile on Eli's lips.

* * *

"_I don't wanna be demanding_

_I just wanna know the reasons why"_

_~"World Around Me" by Escape the Fate_

* * *

I know, not exactly an exciting chapter and was a bit of a filler; I'm sorry, but I wanted to update this before Saturday and today was a rollercoaster for many reasons and I was not in the mindset to edit like mad like I usually do. I know that's not an excuse, so I PROMISE to do better next time. The next chapter will be up as soon as possible. Review?


	136. Home

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

You guys are the best! I say this to all the reviewers, subscribers, etc. who have given this fic support. Special shout out to mur xo for the incredible review! It was great to hear from you again, lovely! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and within my house, no one owns Degrassi, not even a mouse.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Six

Home

Eli did leave Toronto the following day, but doing so was not as hard as he remembered. Maybe it was because he would be back in a month or because he was certain that he would see Clare again and they would not have to worry about the other so much, but saying goodbye was not unbearably difficult. He was sad that he had to leave and it took him a day or so to get readjusted to Clare's absence, yet he did not seem to hurt as much when they departed. He remained strong and did not shed a tear while a couple leaked out of her eyes as they exchanged a final kiss.

The days went by at a slow pace for Eli, but he was able to remain positive whenever he heard from his parents, Clare, or Adam. It was also helpful that Cathy always made him grin when December came around. The holidays were approaching and it did not take Eli or Josh long to realize how much of a Christmas enthusiast that their friend was. Whenever she stepped into their room she would be singing a carol or a modern tune with some sort of festive apparel on or a hat or headpiece. It was actually entertaining during the second Sunday afternoon of December when they had to study for the exams they had that week; seeing Cathy always made them smile and reminded them of the holidays even though they were hard at work.

"_Last Christmas I gave you my heart. But the very next day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special_," she sang on announcement. She stepped into Eli and Josh's room and Eli grinned at how she was wearing a headband that was covered in artificial holly.

"No, no, _no_!" Josh exclaimed from his bed while surrounded by books and papers. "You're supposed to come in here singing happy songs! Not songs about getting your heart broken at Christmas! _Happy_ songs!"

Eli bit his lips to keep himself from laughing as he kept studying at his desk.

"Fine," Cathy groaned, exiting the room and closing it. A second later, she reentered while singing, "_You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry, you'd better not pout. I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town_."

"Much better," Josh approved.

Cathy grinned before sitting on Eli's vacant bed, hoping that her holiday spirits would not be brought down from studying.

"Just five more days and then we're free," she proclaimed.

"Thank God," Josh said. "I can't wait to go home for six weeks."

"Same here," Eli agreed, briefly tearing his eyes from his notes. "You guys doing anything special for Christmas?"

"Just spending time with the family," Cathy answered.

"Me too," Josh said. "Are you getting Clare anything special?"

"I want to, but I'm still trying to figure out what I can get her."

"You can get her a necklace," Josh said. "Ladies love the bling."

"But our second year anniversary is coming up as well," he explained. "I want to get her something thoughtful."

"You still have a bit more than two weeks," Cathy assured him. "You have plenty of time to figure it out."

"I just hope I figure it out sooner than later," he sighed.

He soon heard his phone begin to ring and he turned his eyes to the device to see Clare's name on the caller ID.

"I'll be back in a minute," he told Josh and Cathy, standing up and walking out of the room. Once he was in the hall, he leaned against a wall and answered his phone. "Hey."

"Hey," Clare said. "How's the studying going?"

"Not bad. I'll feel a lot better once exams are doing though."

"Are you getting stressed?"

"Yeah, but I only have to deal with it for a few more days," he said. "Then I'll be free."

"Just five more days," she reminded.

"Exactly," he grinned. "What are you up to?"

"I'm doing some Christmas shopping at the mall," she answered. "I'm taking a break for a minute while my mom gets something for my grandmother."

"Sounds fun," he said.

"Yeah. What exams do you have tomorrow?"

"Euro History and I've been studying for hours and I don't remember _anything_."

"You're probably trying too hard to remember so much."

"Probably," he sighed. "I just can't wait until this week is over."

"At least it's only this week and then you're home."

"Yes," he said, wanting it to be Friday at that second. "I've been looking forward to it for weeks."

"So have I. I miss you _so_ much," she restated.

"I miss you too. But, I promise, once the holidays come around, we'll be spending a fair amount of time together."

"And that's all I want for Christmas this year."

"I'll put in special word up at the North Pole for you then."

Clare smiled and let out a gentle laugh, thinking how cute it was that he was making Christmas references.

"So when will you be here?"

"The second my last exam ends on Friday, I'll hop in Morty and drive."

"Would you mind coming over for a while when you get back?"

"After I spend some time with CeCe and Bullfrog," he agreed.

"Great," she said, looking forward to him coming to her house. "I can't wait for you to get here."

"Neither can I."

"Five more days."

"Five more days," he repeated and grinned before catching sight of his watch, which read a quarter to four. "I'm sorry, Clare, but I need to get back to studying."

"Okay," she accepted.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," he promised her.

"Sounds good," she said. "Good luck on your exam."

"Thanks. I love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

"Bye."

Eli stepped back into his room and went back to studying with Josh and Cathy, determined to make this week to go by as quickly as possible so he could then spend time with his future wife for the holidays.

()()

Eli kept his word and drove back to Toronto that Friday. It was flurrying and the roads were slick, thus he was cautious the entire drive. He arrived home at six fifteen and it took him forever to get out of the chokehold that CeCe had on him. She cried and exclaimed over the fact that her son had come home for the holidays. He had to admit that he was also really glad to be back with his family; he never spent a holiday season without them and he did not want to start now.

"I'm so glad that you're home, baby boy," CeCe told him.

"Me too," he said with a grin. He was greatly relieved that he could get back to the life he remembered for a month and a half; he did not have to worry about school, he did not have to worry about missing the people he loved most, and he did not have to worry about working. He would have to work overtime to make up for the weeks he would be missing when he returned to Ottawa, but it was going to be worth it. He was going to spend the holidays at home and that was worth all the double shifts in the world.

Once it was seven, Eli knew it would be the perfect time to go visit Clare. Excitement going through him, he grabbed the keys to Morty and was being careful not to slip on the thin snow as he rushed to his car. On the drive to her house, he was careful not to go too fast on the roads; snow coming down and was threatening to stick to the asphalt. He soon got there in one piece and parked outside of Clare's house.

He was able to see through the window and saw Clare and her mother decorating their Christmas tree. She was smiling and laughing with Helen as they put on the tinsel; part of him did not want to intrude on this mother/daughter moment but, at the same time, he really wanted to see Clare and hear her voice in person. He allowed himself to observe for a couple more minutes and he grinned at how happy the two of them were.

They were listening to the Christmas music they had on in the background and would occasionally sing along with it whenever they decorated.

"I think that's all of it," Helen said, glancing at the tree. "You think it's ready for some ornaments?"

"Yep," Clare answered, walking over to a large container that kept all their ornaments of both homemade and manufactured.

Helen looked over her shoulder for a second as Clare opened the box and saw the hearse through the snow flurries.

"Clare," she said with a smile. "Look out the window."

Clare obeyed and saw someone emerging from a hearse.

"Finally!" she exclaimed.

She then rushed out of the house, not caring that she was just wearing jeans, a sweater, and her socks. She was careful not to slip as she ran down the path to meet Eli, who smiled when he saw her running towards him. Seconds later, she flung her arms around his neck and he held her around her waist as they shared their first hug in weeks.

"I missed you, I missed you, I missed you," she said tearfully. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," he replied, pleased that he was holding Clare for the first time in a while.

She then kissed his lips powerfully; she felt the sparks fly between them as their lips met for the first time in forever and, for the first time since the middle of November, she felt the true happiness that only Eli could give her. After seconds of passionate endearment, she pulled away and tightened her arms around him once again.

"I'm _so_ glad you're finally home."

"Me too, Clare."

She missed the way he said her name as he held her in his arms; but, as it had been before, it was worth the wait and it made the embrace more meaningful and magical.

"Aren't you cold?" he asked, noticing that she was not wearing a coat and that her feet were absent of shoes.

"A little," she answered honestly, tightening her grip on him.

Eli smirked, touched that she was willing to brave the weather to get to him.

"Well, I don't want you getting pneumonia or frostbite, so how about we get inside?"

"Alright," she agreed. He wrapped his arms around her body to give her some warmth as they walked towards the house. He allowed her to step inside first since she was colder than him, which she was thankful for.

She pulled off her wet socks after they stepped into the nice, warm house. Once her feet were free from the fabric and he slid off his boots, she and Eli stepped into the living room. They saw Helen hanging up a red glass bauble on the tree and she turned around when she saw Eli and Clare stepping inside. She grinned and Eli grinned back, happy to see his future mother-in-law again.

"It's great to see you again, Eli," Helen grinned.

"You too, Mrs. Edwards," he replied.

The two exchanged a hug before he turned to the tree; it was covered in colorful lights, red tinsel, and a single ornament.

"It looks great," he complimented.

"We have a ways to go yet," Helen stated.

"Want to help?" Clare offered.

"Sure," he agreed with a grin on his face.

The three of them then began retrieving ornaments from the box before finding suitable places for them on the tree. Clare was pleased that Eli was helping and that he seemed truly happy about it. What made her even happier was when Eli and Helen started talking to each other.

"How was your trip back here?" Helen asked as they started putting on some ornaments.

"Not too bad," he answered. "It didn't snow too much, so no mishaps."

"That's good," Helen said.

"Did your exams go alright today?" Clare asked as they both put a decoration on two separate branches.

"I only had to do Geology, so I feel pretty confident since I studied all night yesterday."

"At least there's nothing left for you to worry about until you go back."

"True," he said. Helen turned away to retrieve another decoration and Eli took advantage of the opportunity to look at Clare. "Still want to have some study sleepovers next week for your exams?"

"I do," she spoke as soft as Eli did. "I just have to ask her if it's okay."

"When are you going to ask?"

"When the moment is right."

"Got it," he noted, knowing that he should not interfere.

The three of them continued making small talk and Clare wondered how she could approach the subject of staying with Eli carefully. As they put on more decorations, the longer they talked and Eli soon learned how Alyson and Randall had already left for their Christmas vacation while Clare got another box of ornaments from the basement.

"They went to visit Alyson's family," Helen explained. "They should be back before New Year's though."

Eli did not say it out loud, but he was shocked that Randall would actually go away for the holidays when this was his daughter's last Christmas in high school.

"Mom," Clare said, coming in the room with another box of ornaments. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure sweetie."

Clare put down the box and gathered her nerves, knowing that it would be better to get this over with.

"Exams are next week and I really want to study and do well, but I don't think I'll be able to focus that well by myself."

"Well, you can invite Alli or Jenna over to study after school if you want; or I'm sure Eli wouldn't mind helping."

"He wouldn't," she agreed. "So . . . would it be okay if I stayed the night at Eli's a couple of days during the week?"

"I'll help her study," Eli interjected.

Helen stood there and looked at the couple, not completely certain if she approved of this idea. She trusted the two of them, but Clare was suggesting for them to spend the night together before a school day and that made her apprehensive.

"Do you think you'll be able to focus there?"

"We've studied together before," Clare told her, recalling the study dates they had when he was still at Degrassi.

"Yes, but never at night and you two have been apart for a while; if you're staying the night to study I want to know that you will _actually study_."

"I want her to pass just as much as you do," Eli assured her. "I'm not going to let her get too distracted."

Helen took Eli's words into consideration, rolling her lips in thought.

"Will your parents be okay with it?"

"They always are."

Helen replayed the words of both of them before letting out a sigh, hoping that they would not betray her trust in any way.

"Okay, but be sure you get enough sleep; I don't want you dozing off in the middle of an exam."

"Alright," Clare agreed, pleased that she would be able to sleep in Eli's arms.

"Thank you," Eli said.

"Yes, thanks," Clare replied.

"No problem," Helen said. "Now come on, let's get this tree finished."

The three of them then got back in motion by putting more ornaments and the occasional candy cane on the tree. Clare and Helen were currently hanging up a few while Eli went to find something else to hang on the tree. He looked in the box and carefully wrapped an ornament from its bubble wrap fortress. He smiled when he saw that it was a homemade ornament shaped like a Christmas tree; it was painted green and gold glitter blanketed it. He carefully turned it over to see _Clare 2000_ written in black marker. He smiled, wishing that he knew Clare back then just so he could know how she was a child around Christmas.

"Oh, I remember the Christmas when we made ornaments like these," Helen gushed, seeing what Eli was looking at. "Clare and Darcy spent _hours_ making trees, snowmen, stockings, gingerbread men, and all sorts of other things."

Eli turned his eyes to Clare, who was blushing as she stood near the tree.

"I remember that they were covered in glitter and paint when they were done. I actually have a picture of it somewhere around here."

"Oh no, Mom, please," Clare begged.

"Clare, it's not a bad picture."

The box that contained ornaments also contained a shoebox of all the Christmas pictures that had been collected over the years; Helen was soon searching through it, determined to find this photograph. Clare covered her face with her hands, her cheeks blood red at the idea of her mother showing her boyfriend a picture of her that was over ten-years-old. Seeing her red face, Eli stepped closer to her and pulled her into a single-armed hug.

"Every teenager's worst nightmare," he sighed quietly so Helen would not hear.

"I'm surprised it took her this long," she admitted, amazed that it took Helen two years to show any childhood pictures to her boyfriend.

Eli kissed her head before releasing her and showing her the ornament.

"You want to put up this one?"

She agreed only so she could hide behind the tree when her mother finally found the photograph.

"Here it is," she said, pulling a single picture from the box. She showed it to Eli, who grinned at the image. Younger versions of Clare and Darcy were sitting at the table, newspaper covering it as their homemade ornaments rested on top of them. Paints and glitter surrounded them; both of the girls were smiling despite the fact that they were covered in glitter and that they had red, green, and yellow paint on their hands and Clare had some on her face. Her eyes were glistening behind her glasses as she kept her hair tied back behind her; Eli smiled, seeing the face of the woman he loved when she never could have imagined what life would have in store for her.

"You were really festive," he told Clare, who was still hidden from sight by the tree.

"I was five," she reminded him.

"You still looked adorable," Helen said.

"Mom," she groaned. This was the first time her mother had never shown pictures to Eli and she honestly could not figure out how to act rationally. What she did know was that she did not want Helen calling her adorable in front of Eli whether she was referencing a picture or not.

"Come on, Clare," Eli said, stepping around the tree to get to her as Helen put away the picture. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"You wouldn't be saying that if _your_ mom was showing pictures," she told him with an embarrassed grin.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her head before leaning to her ear.

"But now I have an idea of what our kids could look like someday," he whispered.

She giggled and felt a flattered blush replace her embarrassed one. She pecked Eli's lips before they both stepped around the tree to see Helen unwrapping another homemade decoration of a gingerbread man. They spent the next five minutes putting up the homemade ornaments, Clare still trying to get over her moment of mild humiliation. They decorated and shared smiles as they put the remaining ornaments on the tree, all of them taking a step back to admire their work.

"We just have to add one last thing," Helen said as she found the simple golden star that they had put on top of the tree since Darcy was born. "Here you go, sweetie."

She handed it to Clare, who always carried the tradition of putting up the star. She carefully climbed onto the stepladder that she moved next to the tree and carefully placed the star on the very top. Keeping her balance, she cautiously steadied the decoration while being careful to not harm any of the ornaments. When she was positive that it was balanced and secure, Clare climbed off the ladder and stood between Helen and Eli, who were now gazing at the tree.

"I say we did very well," Eli said, observing it.

"I think so too," Helen agreed before checking the time on her watch. "Well, I'm going to go get some stuff from the store before it closes. Eli, just make yourself at home and I'll see you guys later."

"See you soon," Clare said as her mother pulled on her coat and grabbed her keys.

"Bye," Helen said.

"Bye," Eli echoed.

Helen left a few seconds later and the couple was left alone in the house. Clare turned to him and she saw him grinning at her; she returned the small smile before wrapping her arms around his neck. Eli coiled his arms around her waist as he pecked her lips.

"It's good to be home."

"And it's not just for a weekend this time," Clare added.

"That's right," he said. "I'm all yours for six weeks."

She smiled at him warmly before kissing him again and making it more powerful than the one they had exchanged before. They cherished how the other felt in their arms and how loving the kiss was until Clare slowly pulled away, meeting Eli's eyes.

"Want to go to my room?" she asked.

"Sneaking me up to your room?" he stated with a raised brow. "Wouldn't your mom say something against that?"

"She probably won't be home for an hour," she continued to persuade.

Eli's classic smile came to his lips and Clare could not resist but mirror him.

"Merry Christmas to me," he smirked.

"Let's go," she chuckled; she took his hand and led him all the way upstairs until they were in her room. Once they were in there, she closed the door and turned back to him; she saw him sit down on the edge of her bed before lying down spread-eagle on her mattress. She laughed inwardly as she saw him close his eyes and watched his stomach rise and fall as he breathed.

"Tired?" she asked him.

"Not really," he answered. "Just wanted to lie down for a second."

"Well, let me join you," she said. She lied down on his left and rested her head on the front of his shoulder before she felt his arm wrap around her shoulders. "This is nice."

"Yeah," he said. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

Eli turned his head down to Clare, who was wearing a grin on her face as she kept her eyes on her boyfriend. When he saw her looking at him, his grin grew wider and so did hers.

"I almost forgot how beautiful you are."

She blushed before scooting closer to him and putting her lips on to his as she rested her hand on his torso. He then moved a strand of hair behind her ear and deepened the kiss. She kissed him back and tried not to hum as his right hand wandered down to her waist; he carefully pulled away his lips after another minute, grinning at her when he saw her content face.

"I've been wanting to do that for weeks," he confessed.

Clare grinned to reciprocate the same feelings before sliding closer to him and wrapping her arm around his torso. He then put his lips to her neck, smothering her with kisses. She bit back on her bottom lip, blushing as he kissed her and wandered his hand over her side.

"I missed you," she sighed.

"I missed you too," he said, revoking his lips from her neck and giving her a light kiss on the lips. For the first time in weeks, they both felt at peace with where they were.

"I know I've told you that I missed you a lot already, but it's only because I really, really, really, _really _did miss you."

Eli held Clare and kissed the top of her head, wishing that he didn't have to put her through the feeling of longing.

"Well, I'm here now."

"But saying goodbye to you again is going to suck."

"Yeah, but we don't have to worry about that for six weeks. I'm going to be here for a month and half a month."

"And I won't have to go to school once I get on break."

"So, whenever we can, let's have some much needed together time. How about that?"

"Sounds like a very merry Christmas."

"And since Adam's coming home too, we can all hang out just like old times."

"I can't wait," she smiled. "I'm glad you're home."

"Me too," he grinned. "And, I promise, for the next six weeks, there will be no fights whatsoever."

"Good," she smiled before kissing his lips, pleased that they were still determined to not argue. "We just have to get through this next week and then we won't have to worry about school getting in the way until the New Year."

Eli smiled at her and moved his hand up and down her back, only being able to remember the times when they had an unlimited amount of time together.

"I can't believe how long it's been since we had more than a few days together."

"I know," she said softly. "It sucks thinking about it that way."

"Hey, no long faces at Christmas."

Eli sat up on the bed and Clare followed suit, curious as to why he was wearing a mischievous grin on his face.

"Come sit on Santa's lap," he instructed, patting his thigh.

Grinning, Clare obeyed. He wrapped an arm around her waist and cupped her thigh with his free hand while she draped an arm around his shoulders.

"Now, what does a nice girl like you want for Christmas this year?"

She smiled at his charade; she could tell by the gleam in his eyes that he had been saving that line for the opportune moment.

"You can be so cheesy sometimes," she said playfully. "But I love it."

"Why do think I'm such a sap all the time?" he said rhetorically before kissing her cheek.

"I thought you were just like that naturally."

"I am, but your love for it makes it come around more often."

She rolled her eyes kiddingly before kissing his lips for a brief second.

"So, what do you want for Christmas?" he asked again.

Clare sat there and continued smiling at his presence and his gestures, pleased by the fact that they were sharing this moment in her room. Not desiring anything more than this right now, she ran her fingers through the ends of his dark locks.

"I already have the best present I could ask for."

"And yet _I'm_ the one accused of being cheesy?" he laughed.

"Hey, I haven't seen you in weeks and I missed you like crazy."

"Good point," he replied before kissing her lips. Their kiss produced fervor and Clare opened her mouth to make it more intense. It was so heated and sweet all at once and Clare did not want it to end, therefore her heart exploded with emotion when he released her lips from hers.

"I'm not done yet," she growled before crushing her lips to his again, firing a powerful kiss. She tangled her fingers in his hair and she kissed him with so much force that did not attempt to control herself; she needed this after weeks of not being able to do anything with him and she was determined to not free his lips until she had her fill. She swallowed his moans and he swallowed hers as they both got caught up in the moment. Whenever Clare had an inkling that he was going to pull away, she would only remove her lips for half a second for them to get air before continuing. She felt Eli hand hold onto her thigh while he gripped her sweater so he would not harm her waist.

She heard him moan as she shifted on his lap, getting closer to him before slithering her hands from his hair to his shoulders. She hummed into his mouth before slowly leaning away, pulling his bottom lip with her teeth as she did so.

"Whoa," he breathed. "What was that?"

"_That_ was how much I missed you."

Desperate to rediscover his anatomy again, she put her lips to his neck and began traveling them over every inch of skin that was accessible to her. She could hear Eli's breathing speed up and she could not help but smile inside.

"If I had known you missed me this much I would have found a way to come home more often," he said to her.

"You're here now," she breathed as she leaned away. "That's what matters."

Eli smiled at her and kissed her jaw for a second before caressing her side again.

"And we can do whatever we want just like we did over the summer."

"Except this time we don't have Alyson around to tell me that I can't visit you."

"This day just keeps getting better," he said with a smile. "First I see my girl, I helped you and your mom decorate your tree, and now it's nothing but smooth sailing for the next month and a half."

Clare smiled at his recent optimism, but she hope it was as sincere as it sounded.

"Did you enjoy helping me and my mom with the tree? Be honest."

"I did," Eli answered truthfully. "It was nice seeing you so happy."

"Except for when my mom brought out the picture," she recalled.

Eli grinned, the picture clear in his head.

"I thought you were cute."

"Eli . . ." she said as she blushed.

"We've been together for two years, Clare," he reminded her. "You should know by now that I can never say anything bad about your pretty face.

But she just blushed more and a smile came to her lips when she remembered how she had been with this one special person for two years now.

"Can you believe we've been together for two years?" she asked, stroking the hair on the back of his head.

"It still feels like I'm in a dream . . . a beautiful, beautiful, _beautiful _dream."

Clare smiled, flattered once again by his compliments.

"Don't decide to wake up anytime soon, okay?"

"I never will," he promised.

She felt butterflies in her stomach, which was a feeling that he never failed to give her even though they had been together for this length of time.

"Have I told you lately how happy I am that I'm with you?"

Eli simply smiled at her and kissed her lips again, knowing he would never get tired of tasting her or kissing her. They eventually ended the kiss and she rested her head against his, both of them seeing that they were fortunate people to find their true love this early in their life.

"You know, since it's the holidays, we should try to have a kiss under the mistletoe," she suggested.

"I'll be there waiting for you under it."

The next few minutes included them smiling and exchanging kisses as they resumed lying down on her bed. They were each looking at each other while laying on their sides, talking about things they could do over their weeks together.

"We can have dinner at Little Miss Steaks . . . walk in the park . . . listen to our song in your room . . ." she proposed as Eli's hand rested on her hip.

"And let's not forget going to our special place."

"Of course," she said. "But the good news is that we have _a lot_ of time to do all of it."

"And more," he said.

"I like the way you think, Goldsworthy," she approved.

Eli grinned before catching sight of her clock and seeing that eight forty-five was fast approaching.

"I need to get back home."

"Can't you stay?" she asked him, taking hold of the side of his jacket.

"I wish I could, but I don't think your mom would like that idea. Plus CeCe said that she wanted to start doing some of our family traditions."

"Such as?" Clare asked curiously. She was unaware of how the Goldsworthys spent the holiday season but she was definitely intrigued to learn.

"My parents and I watch _A Christmas Story_, but we put it on mute so we can do the voices of the characters or create our own storyline."

"Sounds like fun," she said. "Come on, I'll walk you out."

They stood up and Clare slid on a pair of socks before they went downstairs and they both put on some boots and Clare slipped on a jacket. Within a minute, the two of them were walking outside with their hands joined together and were walking to Morty. They held each other in their arms to keep warm and to remain close, both of them smilingly warmly.

"I'm glad that we have six weeks together," she said to him. "Now we won't feel like we have to do so much in one weekend."

"And it will make up for lost time."

Clare grinned a little more, having the exact thought in her mind.

"Want to go out tomorrow?"

"Sure," she said, anticipating what this Saturday could be like. "Well, I won't keep you from you and traditions any longer."

"Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Definitely," she smiled before kissing him. "I love you."

"I know," he smirked. "I love you too."

They gave each other one more hug before Eli walked away to climb into Morty. Clare stood there and crossed her arms to keep herself warm as the car came to life; she smiled and waved to Eli as the hearse went down the street before retreating back into the house, thankful that the love of her life was home again.

* * *

"_I'm going home_

_Back to the place where I belong_

_And where your love has always been enough for me"_

_~"Home" by Daughtry_

* * *

Hoping to update before Christmas, but I'll see what I can do. By the way, new vlog is up on YouTube about the New Year and what it means for my writing and a couple of other things. The next few chapters are planned out so all I have to do now is write them and find a title.

Review please!


	137. Always Be This Way

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thanks everyone for the reviews. And I just like to say how ecstatic I am that we are 21 reviews away from 1,700! That is nothing short of incredible! 2012 has really had its ups and downs (many of them) for me, so I am very grateful for your support! Thank you everyone! So sorry that I didn't update this before Christmas; I was spending a lot of time with the family (which was great) and I was so busy that I didn't have time to write. I hope you guys like this! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I'm sorry, Mr. Grinch, you don't own Degrassi either.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Seven

Always Be This Way

Adam arrived the day after Eli, but he spent the whole weekend with his family and the trio decided via phone that they would all meet at the Dot on Monday morning for an early breakfast. Clare would go to school afterwards and then Eli and Adam would have a day to catch up one-on-one; it had been an eternity since they had truly hung out and they both wanted to take advantage of the opportunity.

"Can you guys believe that this is the first time the three of us have hung out at once in _months_?" Adam stated as he sat across from Clare and Eli.

"That's a depressing realization," Eli replied, not being able to grasp the fact that the three of them have not spent time together since July. It was saddening to think that it had been close to half a year since they were in each other's company and he wished that he could rewind time and rearrange events so all three of them could be together more often.

"At least the gang is back together again now," Clare said, gently nudging his upper arm with her own in hope of increasing his spirits.

"Exactly," Adam smiled. "So, anything new going on with you guys?"

"Not really," Eli shrugged. "What about you?"

Adam grinned and cleared his throat before looking across the table

"I . . . may have met someone . . ."

"What?" the couple exclaimed.

"And you're just now telling us?" Clare said.

"We just started dating a couple of weeks ago and I wanted to tell you both in person."

"Alright, I want details," Eli insisted. "What's her name?"

"Natalie," he answered.

"Is she cute?" Clare asked.

"_Extremely_."

"How did you two meet?"

"Chem 101; we're lab partners so we do _a lot_ of studying together."

"Oh right, _studying_," Eli said with a smirk and a nod.

"We do study," Adam grinned, rolling his eyes.

"Does she know about . . . the situation?" Clare asked tenderly.

"Yes, and she's cool as long as we don't rush into the physical stuff; and that's fine by me since I want to take this slow anyway."

"Good. So what's she like?" she encouraged eagerly.

"Well, she has a _great_ sense of humor, she's wicked smart, she loves all kinds of music, and – this is the best part – she's in a band!"

"Really?" Eli remarked.

"Yeah, she's in it with her cousin and a few friends of theirs; they have a Paramore meets Flyleaf sort of sound and they call themselves Opposing Gravity."

"Nice," Eli approved. "What does she play?"

"Rhythm guitar," he answered. "Plus she does backing vocals _and_ writes most of the lyrics."

"Sounds like you found the perfect girl for you," Clare said.

"Maybe she is, but I'm taking it slow with her; I'm not even going to tell her I love her unless I know for sure that she's someone who's going to be around for a while."

"Good idea," Eli said.

"I just don't want a repeat of what happened with Alli at the end of summer."

"You're not going to act weird around her anymore, right?" Clare asked, remembering how Adam came to visit months before and he could not look at Alli when she came into the Dot because she was spending time with Dave at the time.

"Of course not," Adam said. "I'm with a great girl and she's with Dave. We call at times and any feelings I had for her then left me when I met Nat."

"Cool," Eli accepted.

"I'm happy for you, Adam. I hope we get to meet her soon."

"Well, she's actually coming to visit for New Year's; she has some family here and she told me that she would not mind meeting the couple I tell her so much about."

"Then we get to see if she is worthy of our Adam," Clare said teasingly.

"I'm sure you guys will like her," Adam stated. "I can already tell she's going to like you guys."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I told her all about you guys."

"What exactly did you tell her?" Eli inquired, hoping that certain details were not passed along to a girl he never even heard of until this day.

"I told her that you're a hearse-driving college student and that Clare is my sister-like friend who wants to be a writer. Oh, and I told her that you guys are the couple that is totally in love, going to get married, etc."

"So you basically told her everything?" she clarified.

"You guys are my best friends and – unfortunately for you two – you're interesting people; I _had _to tell her about you."

"Clare, we're famous," Eli sighed in mock flattering. "We're like Sharon and Ozzy."

"Which one are you?" Adam asked.

Eli scowled at his friend and the other two tried not to laugh, for his annoyed expression had the opposite effect and it was more humorous than threatening.

"There's my ride," Clare observed as she turned to the window; Alli had gotten a car for her birthday not too long ago and today she was using it to drive herself and her best friend to school. She went to pull her wallet out, knowing she had to pay for her breakfast.

"I got it," Eli said.

If Clare did not have to get to school, she would have insisted on pay; but today she did not have the time.

"I'll pay you back," she said, standing up and gathering her jacket and bag.

"Don't worry about it."

"Okay. I'll see you later."

She leaned down to give Eli a kiss on the lips.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

"Bye Adam."

"See you," he bade before Clare left the table and rushed toward the exit.

Eli faced Adam, who had an indifferent expression about what he had just seen as opposed to the smirk or look of disgust he would usually wear.

"What? No comments, no gagging?"

"No," Adam said. "It's the holidays; I'll be nice."

"Plus you have a girlfriend and you know you can't say anything about it because you know I will say the same thing when Natalie comes to visit."

"I'm glad we understand each other," Adam declared with a grin.

It was not a second later when Adam felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and his attention was turned immediately to it.

"One second," he said, pulling it out his pocket and smiling at the text he had received.

"Let me guess: Natalie?" Eli assumed while taking an uneaten piece of bacon off Clare's plate.

"Yep," he nodded, texting his reply.

Eli grinned at his friend's enthusiasm before looking out the window, staring at the familiar street that he had taken for granted while he was here.

"Uh-oh," Adam suddenly spoke.

"What?" Eli asked, turning his attention back to the table.

"Natalie just texted me and said that she's looking at the Christmas present she got for me."

"I still don't see the reason for the uh-oh."

"I haven't gotten her anything!" he screamed in a whisper.

"Were you planning on getting her something?"

"I wasn't; we just started dating two weeks ago and I didn't know if it would be right to get her a gift."

"Ouch," Eli said, seeing how Adam had put himself in a rut. "Well, you still have plenty of time before you see her again; all you have to do is find something."

"But I don't have any ideas on what I can get. Want to give me some suggestions, Casanova?"

"Okay, what does she like?" he asked.

"Animals, 80's music, and the_ Hunger Games_," he recalled.

"Then just get her a teddy bear, a Fleetwood Mac album, or a t-shirt with Katniss Everdeen," Eli said as though it was obvious.

"She has all of those things already; besides, I want to get her something special."

"You've only been dating for two weeks; don't go too crazy with gift giving," he advised. "Only get her something simple that says that you are her boyfriend now and that you care."

"Like what?"

"A card and some flowers," he proposed.

"It's Christmas, not Valentine's Day."

"Then . . . then . . . do I look like Santa Claus to you?" he remarked, unable to think of anything else.

"No, but you do you look like someone who always knows what to get his girlfriend, so I need to think of something _incredible_."

"What happened to taking it slow?"

"I am, but I don't want her to get me something great if I give her something bad."

"Then get creative," he suggested. "Make a mixed CD or a bracelet for her."

"Her CD collection is _endless_ and I don't know how to make bracelets."

"Must you whine about everything?"

"_Eli._"

"Okay, okay . . . what's her birth month?"

"February," he answered.

"Then get her a necklace with an amethyst charm on it."

Adam heard his suggestion and began to ponder; it was romantic, thoughtful, and surely something that Natalie would like.

"That's good," he approved. "I might just do that."

"No need to thank me," Eli sighed with accomplishment.

Adam rolled her eyes but did not argue.

"Are you getting Clare anything for Christmas?"

"Of course I am," he said. "Why wouldn't I?"

"You don't celebrate Christmas," he reminded.

"But I celebrate the holiday season and Clare loves Christmas. Plus I want to give her something for our two year anniversary and I think that it would be less chaotic if I gave her it for Christmas."

"Whoa, two years," Adam said, impressed but not completely surprised by how long the two of them had been together. "What are you going to get her?"

"Haven't figured that part out yet," he admitted. "But I want it to be special."

"Well, I'd get thinking if I were you; you only have a bit more than a week."

"No pressure or anything," Eli said, wishing he had some idea on what he could possibly give Clare.

"Don't worry, you always think of something; and it's the thought that counts, right?"

"Yeah, but two years is a long time and I want to give her something to show her I care."

"I'm sure she'll love whatever you get her."

"I hope so . . ."

But a couple of days passed and Eli had yet to decide what to possibly get Clare. He kept his eyes open for clues but she did not drop any hints or tell him a single thing. He would have asked what she would like, but he doubted that he would get a real answer; plus she was driven to remain focused on her studying and he did not want to distract her.

They were on his bed that Wednesday night, books and papers joining them. It was eleven o'clock and Eli was helping Clare study for the exams she would have tomorrow; she was lying on her side at the end of his bed, her arm supporting her, while he leaned against the wall behind him and read questions from her Physics textbook.

"What are super conductors?"

"Uh . . . I know this one . . . substances that offer no resistance to electricity!" she exclaimed.

"Correct. Why are metals good conductors of electricity?"

"Because they contain free electrons."

"Yes. Clare, I think you're ready for this one."

"Do you think we should go over it one more time?"

"We've gone over it ten times; you've got this."

"I don't know," she said, sitting up and massaging her temples; she had absorbed so much knowledge for Physics in the last two hours once she got off work that she was worried that it would not stay on her brain until tomorrow.

"Sounds like you need to take a break. Want me to make us some hot chocolate?"

"Sure," she answered, needing a minute to relax. They got off the bed, both of them relieved to think about something other than Physics.

"Then come with me, Miss Clare," he said before taking her hand. The two of them journeyed through the quiet house before arriving in the kitchen. Clare sat down at the table before looking out the window and taking notice of the snow that was coming down outside; it was falling heavily and there was a thin fog.

"It's starting to come down."

"You should've seen it the day before I left Ottawa; I could barely see where I was going," Eli said as he began making the drinks. "Thankfully, it cleared up before I got on the road."

"I'm glad it did; you probably wouldn't have been able to get back if it didn't."

"You know I would have gotten back somehow. Marshmallows?" he offered.

"What's hot chocolate without them?" she asked with a grin.

He grinned at her in agreement before preparing the hot chocolate. Clare sat there patiently, trying to forget about the exams she would have that week; to her dismay, she could not distract herself and she was not pulled out of her thoughts until Eli was closer to her.

"Here you go," he said, handing her a mug as he sat next to her with one of his own.

"Thanks," she grinned at him.

"Cheers," he said, holding his cup by the handle.

Their cups met before they each took a sip, Clare humming as the warm drink caressed her tongue before sliding down her throat and heated her body.

"Perfect," she complimented. "The only thing that could make this better is if exams could fall off the face of the earth."

"Only two more days and then you will not have to worry about them."

"But I'm going to be worrying about them until then."

"Well, think of something else for a while."

"Like what?"

"Christmas is almost here," he said. "You can look forward to that."

Clare sighed, not exactly in the mood to think about the holiday.

"I do love Christmas, but . . . I'm not really looking forward to it this year."

"What do you mean?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

"It's just going to be me and Mom this year; we're staying at home, no one in the family's coming to visit, Darcy's not coming home, and my dad and Alyson have already left to visit her family."

"Oh," he said, seeing how this could have saddened her.

"Yeah," she said. "It's an unsettling feeling. I've always had Christmas with my family or we always went to visit relatives; I'm not used to it just being my mom and me. I don't know how different it's going to be; we'll go to church like we always do, but I don't think we'll be doing much more than that so I don't know if I'm even going to enjoy it at all."

"You seemed happy when we decorated the tree," he recalled.

"Yeah, but that was always Mom and I's thing; Darcy would always be on the phone or with a friend and Dad would be at work so we were always the ones who took care of it. That's actually one of the few holiday traditions that haven't changed."

He heard Clare's voice break, but she covered it up with a cough before drinking more hot chocolate. He wished that she did not have to feel this way and that she could actually look forward to the twenty-fifth of December like she had for years.

"I'm sorry about that."

"Life goes on," she shrugged. "Hopefully it will be different next year."

She began drinking more of her beverage and Eli gently caressed her back, hoping to give her some console.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do, okay?"

She finished drinking for the time being and put down her mug before turning to him.

"Thanks, but there's nothing you can . . . what's so funny?" she asked, seeing him trying to hold back laughter.

"Uh . . . you've got a little . . ." he explained, touching his upper lip.

Clare realized what he was talking about as she felt the remains of liquid on her skin.

"Oh," she said with a bit of embarrassment. Face reddening, she reached for a napkin in the middle of the table. Before she could grab it, however, Eli took her wrist.

"I got it."

He then put his lips to hers. He kissed her lovingly, using his tongue to remove the hot chocolate in the process. He felt her chuckling against the kiss, which caused him to smile internally. Even when he was certain there was nothing left to clear away, Eli kept kissing her and caressing his tongue over her. After kissing her for a few seconds, he slowly released her lips and their eyes met. Clare pulled back on her bottom lip as he slid his hand down from her wrist to her palm. He caressed one of her knuckles with his thumb as he grinned at her.

"Thanks," she said. "I needed that."

"Anytime," he said.

He kept a hold on her hand and they sat there for a few minutes, exchanging small kisses and drinking their hot chocolate in silence.

"Want to go to bed?" he asked when their cups were empty.

"Yeah," she said.

Eli changed in the bathroom while Clare remained in his room. On his way back, he retrieved a single blanket from the hall closet; he knew that Clare did not always have a high tolerance for the cold and he did not want her to be uncomfortable the night before an exam when she was not in the brightest mood. He soon entered his room with a dark green blanket in his hand and he saw that Clare was already in bed, lying on her side so she was facing Eli's half of the mattress, patiently waiting for him to join her. He closed the door behind him, which made Clare turn her head to him and sit up a bit. She grinned at him and he returned it before laying the blanket over the bed.

"You think you'll be warm enough?" he asked her as he turned out the light.

"I think so," she said as he walked to his side of the bed.

Eli then lifted up the covers for himself; when he did, he was able to see Clare and notice the pink, flannel pajamas that she was wearing. He grinned at the sight of her; he always found her attractive whenever she wore something that made her look so comfortable.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said before lying next to her. "I'm just in a good mood."

"I'm glad to hear that," she said, truly happy for him despite how tired she was.

She laid her head on his chest as he held her. She pulled the comforter and blankets up so it covered them.

"Nice and warm," she sighed contently.

"Wake me up if you get cold," he told her.

"I don't think that will be necessary," she informed, scooting closer to him and feeling his hold on her tighten.

"You look really cute in your PJs," he whispered to her. He heard her giggle, which cause a smile to come onto his face; he smiled at her before kissing her head. "I love you."

"I love you too," she breathed before falling into a peaceful sleep.

Clare was less relaxed the following morning; the second she was up, she was rereading her textbooks and barely broke her focus. She even asked Eli if he could quiz her while she was in the shower; he agreed, but she asked him to leave when she turned off the water.

"I can avert my eyes," he informed her.

"And how do I know that you will not try to look?"

"May I remind you that I have been sitting here on a toilet for this long and have not once tried to sneak a peek?"

"Eli," she said, her mind too focused on the upcoming exams to think about anything else.

"Okay," he sighed in defeat as he rose from the porcelain chair. He was aware that he was not going to have sex with Clare or see her naked again until their wedding night, but he could not deny that he would not have a problem seeing her coming out of a shower with nothing but a towel and steam concealing her body while droplets of water rested on her skin. "I'll see you in a few."

The next ten minutes were relatively silent for them; once Clare was dressed and ready for the day, the two of them ate breakfast before leaving for Degrassi. Eli would try to start a conversation, but it did not get very far since Clare would only reply with one word or would just shrug without a care.

"Are you okay?" he asked when this happened again as they drove down the road in Morty.

"Yeah," she said, looking out the window.

As Eli drove, he began to wonder just why she had been trying her best not to speak with him. It did not take him more than a second to realize why and he instantly felt terrible. That morning he made the comment about staying behind in the bathroom and he knew that she would probably felt uneasy hearing a suggestion like that.

"Clare . . . this morning when you were in the shower, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"You didn't."

"I didn't?" he said, glancing at her for a second.

"No. Why would you even think that?"

"You just haven't seemed yourself today and . . . I thought that you were . . . mad at me for saying something and so you didn't want to speak to me because of it."

"Eli, we've been together for two years and you've seen every inch of my body; I would have told you if you were making me uncomfortable instead of giving you the cold shoulder."

"Then why are you so . . . distant?"

"I'm nervous about exams," she explained. "But I think I'm in the right frame of mind to get through them and to focus on nothing but them and . . . I don't want to get distracted."

"Oh . . . so I distract you, hu?" he said with a cocky smirk.

"More than you think," she answered, grinning at she thought of all the times she would try to do her homework but could not because he had found a way into her mind.

"Well, as your personal distraction _and _study buddy, it is my duty to assure you that you don't have anything to be worried about; you're going to be fine."

"I hope so."

Eli pulled Morty up to the front of the school and parked; he turned to Clare as she got off her seatbelt and noticed just how nervous she was about the exams ahead.

"Good luck," he told her.

"Thanks," she said, wanting to get the day over with. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," he said before giving her a kiss. "You'll be fine."

"I hope so," she sighed before climbing out of the car. She gave him a wave through the window and he returned it, hoping that she would be able to pass the exams she would have that day.

She forced her mind to think about nothing but her exams that day. When took them, however, she was relieved that she understood or remembered the majority of the material. There were a few parts on each test that she did not recall, but she felt confident for the most part. She noticed that there were some questions that she did not study that week with Eli yet she knew the answers immediately; due to this, she saw how all her excessive studying from weeks ago was not a complete waste.

Even though she was certain that she passed her tests, Clare was still worn out by the end of the day. She had to go to work after school and she was so exhausted afterwards that she could barely stay awake to do much studying. After only an hour of reviewing, she fell asleep with her head on Eli's chest and he was holding her to him while she breathed heavily. She was thankful for him, for he helped her study every night that week and he did not complain when got in an irritated mood because of stress.

The second day of exams were a bit more difficult; she did not have a chance to review much that morning since everyone kept trying to ask her about what her plans were for the break and she did not want to destroy their spirits by being rude and telling them to leave her alone. It was actually refreshing to have the constant reminder that she would not have to come to school for two weeks once her final exam was over.

When the dismissal bell rang at the end of the day, Clare was tired and she wanted nothing more than to just go to Eli's house and relax with him in his room. After saying her farewells to K.C, Jenna, Dave, and Alli, she exited the school; to her delight, she saw Eli leaning against Morty at the bottom of the stairs. Grinning, she traveled towards him and Eli held out his arms to her once she was close enough.

"Freedom," she declared as she walked into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder and looped her arms around his torso as he held her.

"How did it go?"

She groaned before leaning away so she could look at him.

"I'm drained."

"Do you think you did alright?"

"I think so."

"Good," he said before kissing her forehead. "And, now that exams are done and we are both officially free from school for a while, how about we go to our special place for a while and then we can go back to my house and then I make us some dinner tonight?"

"Really?" she said with a grin.

"Yeah," he answered. "CeCe and Bullfrog are having a date night of their own and I was thinking that I could make us some fettuccine Alfredo . . . maybe make a chocolate cake for dessert."

Clare smiled at his proposal; after being focused on nothing but exams this week, she was certain that a dinner with her boyfriend would restore her to her usual happiness.

"That sounds incredible."

"Then let's get out of here," he said.

()()

Since it was cold outside, the two of them spent much of their time at the abandoned church in the back of Morty. They were lying down on the black blanket that was back there; Clare kept her head on Eli's chest while he caressed her spine. She was still winding down from the day and she really appreciated it when Eli suggested that they simply lied in the back of the hearse for a while. After resting and talking to Eli for a couple of hours, Clare eventually felt refreshed and they both decided to go back to his house so he could make their dinner. When they arrived, they noticed that CeCe and Bullfrog had already left them with the house to themselves.

"I'm going to change into something more comfortable," Clare informed him as she headed towards the stairs.

"Go on ahead," he said before going into the kitchen. When he was alone, Eli began collecting all of the ingredients needed to make the fettuccine Alfredo while getting out the chocolate cake mix he had picked up that afternoon; he quickly whipped the cake batter together and soon got it in the oven before turning all of his attention to the dinner he was prepared to make.

He had put the noodles into a pot and was now working on the sauce; he was so focused on combining the ingredients to make it that he did not notice Clare's return. She stepped into the kitchen while wearing a simple pair of jeans and a band shirt that she had taken out of Eli's closet. She felt comfortable in these clothes and was glad that the two of them would be having a nice dinner together after these stressful last couple of days.

"Need my help with anything?" she asked.

"Nope," he said as checked the noodles while the sauce rested on the lowest temperature. "You just relax."

"Okay," she accepted. "Is everything going okay?"

"Yeah," he said, carefully stirring the sauce. "I just have to wait for the pasta to cook a bit more and then . . ."

He turned to her and he saw that she was standing in front of him in one of his shirts; his eyes scanned her and he was amazed by how she could look so laidback yet so attractive at the same time.

"Someone is wearing my shirt," he observed, setting down his utensil and turning away from the oven to step closer to his girlfriend.

"Hope you don't mind," she said.

"How can I mind," he began, cupping her waist and then hoisting her onto the counter, "when you look so sexy in it?"

She smiled at him and used her hands to support herself on the counter.

"Where's the mistletoe when you need it?" she said.

"Who says we need it?" he replied before kissing her.

Once he was done blessing her with his kiss, she smiled at him and he smiled back before sliding his hands to her hips. She put her hands on his shoulders and rested her head against his as his hands gently caressed her sides.

"Two years . . ." she breathed, still trying to fathom how she had been with him for this long and he still loved her.

"And counting," he added.

She smiled at him before kissing his lips, not desiring anything more than to spend many more years with the person she had been in love with for this long.

"I love you," she said when she freed his lips.

"I love you too," he said before kissing her cheek. "I love you very much."

He let his lips travel to the corner of her eye and she blushed at the pleasant sensation that his kisses were creating. He then kissed to her temple before showering his affections down to her jaw. Clare was enjoying this so much and she was just waiting for him to show some attention to her neck or lips; unfortunately, this did not happen because a small _ding_ came from a kitchen timer and the sound caused him to stop kissing her.

"Cake's done," he declared before stepping away from Clare.

He pulled on some oven mitts before he opened the oven door and carefully took the cake out; both of them breathed in the sweet aroma the baked good brought them and their mouths began to water at the sight of it.

"That looks so good," Clare said as he carefully set it down.

"It won't be much longer until we can enjoy it."

He then returned to the stove to transfer the noodles to the sauce and then mixed them together. For a few minutes, Eli stood there and added all necessary ingredients to the pasta and stirred it together to create the perfect balance of flavor.

"Okay," he said, carefully hooking a single noodle with a fork he had recently gotten out of the drawer before taking it over to Clare. "What do you think of this?"

She gently blew on it to cool it down before allowing herself to eat it off the fork.

"Mm," she said, enjoying the taste the sauce and seasoning had brought to the pasta. "That's amazing."

Eli looked relieved as he said "great" and put the fork to the side.

"Only a few more minutes and we should be able to enjoy."

"Until then, I would like to check one thing . . ."

She held her hand out to him and he took it before stepping in front of her. She then kissed him fully on the lips, her tongue diving into his mouth when he allowed it to enter. She put his hand on her thigh before guiding the other to do the same; her hands held his wrist as she put more power into the kiss. He moaned against her lips and Clare felt a sense of victory knowing that she was still to enchant him despite the two years that had spent together.

She broke the kiss before leaning back and sliding her hands away from his body; she licked her lips and turned her eyes away for a moment as though she was pondering something. She then grinned sensually and turned her eyes back to her boyfriend.

"Yep, you taste amazing too."

Eli felt the corner of his lip curl so his lopsided smile appeared on his face. A year ago, Clare would not have said this to him with so much confidence; then again, he knew that a lot had changed that year and he was pleased that it was for the best when all was said and done. What he still found astounding was how Clare was now more confident in initiating anything physical and she did not mind waiting until marriage for them to do certain things.

"Oh, Saint Clare, what have I turned you into?" he sighed.

"You should be happy; no one else gets to see this side of me other than you."

"Believe me, I am _very_ happy about that."

He then put his lips to her neck and slid his hands until they were cupping her thighs from the side. She leaned her head back and Eli took advantage of this by kissing all the skin he now had access to. Since he was standing between her legs, she was able to lock them around his torso; she then put one of her arms across his shoulder until she was resting her palm between his shoulder blades while the fingers on her other hand became knotted in his hair. He moved down lower until he was kissing her collarbone and he smirked against her skin when he heard moan.

The longer he kissed her, the more she fell in love with this moment. She wanted him to do nothing more than to keep kissing her and touching her; if he was not making dinner for them right now, she would have insisted that they go up to his room and continue this up there on his bed . . .

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

They broke apart at the sound of the smoke detector and their heads automatically faced the stove. Clare gasped in horror, seeing smoke and a few flames emerging from the pan. Startled, Eli grabbed the handle before throwing it in the empty side of the sink and turning on the cold water. Within seconds, steam and smoke was in the air but the flames had been extinguished; Eli sighed in relief that he did not burn down the house and turned off the water once the danger had passed. Clare, calming down from the shock she had just received, slid off the counter and fanned the smoke out of her face.

"Are you okay?" she asked Eli.

"Yeah . . . are you?"

"Yeah," she answered, feeling her heart rate slow down.

Eli, disappointed and annoyed, picked up the pan and saw the burnt and wet mess. Of all the nights for this to happen, it had to be on the one when he wanted to something nice for Clare since she had been so stressed out by exams.

"I'm sorry," he said, scraping food into the trash.

"Don't worry," she assured him.

"I should have been keeping an eye on it."

"And deprive me of your lips?"

He turned to her and returned the smirk she was giving him before putting the pan in the sink again.

"Next time I try to make you dinner, I promise this won't happen."

Clare grinned at him softly, reassuring him that he did not need to feel bad about this since she was grateful for his notion even if the outcome was not the one that was anticipated.

"The good news is that we still have a cake."

"You know, it _is _a Friday night," she reminded him. "And nothing says the beginning of winter break than having dessert for dinner."

Eli grinned, reaching into the cabinet and withdrawing two plates.

"I've always loved your style, Edwards."

Within minutes, the two of them were sitting at the dining table, a quarter of a cake resting on both of their plates and both of them having a glass of milk with it. They were sitting close to each other, their hands and legs occasionally brushing together.

"Not exactly the most romantic dinner we've ever had," he admitted only because they were not exactly eating a meal.

"But definitely the sweetest," she said before putting another bite of cake into her mouth.

"And it is also the most surprising."

"Good point. This is really good," she told him before taking yet another forkful of cake.

"Yeah, no one combines cake mix, vegetable oil, eggs, and water together like me."

Clare chuckled. She was overjoyed to see Eli so full of delight; she had spent a lot of time with him that week and the only time he had shown any unhappiness was tonight when the pasta accidentally got burnt. As pleased as the was to see him this way, she wondered if this was genuine and he had not been masking pain or had been harboring thoughts about returning to his frightening coping method.

"I don't want to sound like an overprotective girlfriend or anything, but . . . are you doing okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean . . . are you happy and are you doing fine despite everything that happened before?"

"In other words, how am I doing without cutting?" he clarified.

"Basically," she said quietly, hoping that she did not say anything that offended him. "I don't mean to pry or anything, but –."

"It's fine," he assured, not minding that she was asking since she was showing her care for him. "I'm doing okay. I still try not to think about it on the hard days, but I'm getting by."

"Are you still worried that I'm going to break up with you?"

"Not as much as I used to be," he answered, feeling ashamed for thinking that not too long ago. "But it really helps that you tell me that you love me every time we talk."

Pleased that Eli was doing better but hoping that he would soon be able to live without these thoughts, Clare put her fork down and took his right hand.

"I love you," she reminded him.

He turned to her before gently kissing her, appreciating what she said.

"I love you too," he said. "So . . . we're still staying together forever, right?"

"Goldsworthy, I didn't give you my virginity or spend two years with you for nothing," she said with a grin.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Clare gave his hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it and picking up her fork again.

"You haven't . . . told anyone, have you?" he asked. He was still keeping this secret from his family and friends and this caused him to be cautious about the exposure of his skin at all times; he was either keeping the black fabric around his arm or else he would wear shirts with longer sleeves like he was today.

"No," she said. "Don't worry, this is just between you and me."

"And Devin," he added bitterly, recalling how his coworker found out and it resulted in them having a fight in the cinema lobby.

"He's not important," she said to him. "He's not worth being worried about."

Eli looked at Clare and kissed her cheek, nonverbally telling her that she was correct.

"You always know how to keep my spirits up."

"I try my best."

"Well, your best is more than enough."

She grinned before the two of them continued eating; for the next few minutes, they both ate before declaring that they had consumed too much. They then moved to the couch and lied there to watch a movie. By ten o'clock, they both knew it was time for Eli to take Clare home even though they honestly did not want to move.

"I wish I could've stayed the night," Clare said to him as they journeyed down the street in Morty. Helen had agreed to let Clare stay over at Eli's, but she had spent almost every night at his house that week and she knew that her mother would not allow her to stay over any more for a few days.

"Doesn't mean we can't do anything tomorrow," he said.

"Well . . . actually my church is doing something on Sunday and my mom and I are baking all day for it tomorrow. Then it's Christmas Eve and then it's Christmas Day, so I'll be with my mom those days."

"Oh . . . well, we still have plenty of time together."

"And I will call you tomorrow night and I'll text you whenever possible," she promised.

"Are you telling me we're going back to our long-distance habits when we're in the same city?"

"Just think of it this way: you get to spend time with Adam and your parents."

"True," he said.

He then pulled to the front of her house, wishing that he did not have to say goodbye to her now.

"This was a great night, Eli," she told him.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"I loved it. And . . . in case I haven't told you already, thanks for helping study this week."

"You're welcome," he said, content that he was able to be in her company for so long.

"I'll give you this back soon," she said, gently tugging the hem of the shirt she was wearing.

"No rush," he said. "It looks better on you anyway."

She blushed before kissing his lips just as she did when they first started kissing in the kitchen.

"I love you," she said, meeting his eyes.

"I love you too."

She gave him one last peck on the lips before picking up her backpack and exiting the car.

"And Clare," he said before she could close the door.

"Yeah?" she responded, leaning back down to see him.

"Just in case I don't see you for a few days, I hope you do have a good Christmas," he said, remembering how she told him how this may not be the merriest of Christmases.

"Thanks. I'll try."

They exchanged one final smile before she closed the door. Eli watched Clare walk to her house before seeing the Christmas tree in the window. He smiled at it and turned his eyes back to his girlfriend, who was waving at him from the door; as he saw her face and the smile upon it, he waved back and finally realized what could be the perfect Christmas present for her . . .

* * *

"_It just gets better every day_

_Tell me forever that we'll always be this way"_

_~"Always Be This Way" by Martina McBride_

* * *

I hope you all had a great holiday season! I'm working on the next chapter now, so I hope to post it soon. Review please!


	138. A New Day Has Come

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you for your reviews last chapter! Shout out to rawrglefargle, SA5M, and bunnyluv16 for the reviews that made me smile when I was in a glum mood! Thank you! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but I'll soon be a proud owner of the third Black Veil Brides album (stoked!).

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Eight

A New Day Has Come

"Merry Christmas, Mom," Clare greeted Helen days later on the morning of the twenty-fifth of December. She has just stepped into the kitchen to see her mother in a dressing gown and slippers as she made some coffee.

"Merry Christmas, sweetie," Helen replied before hugging Clare.

They soon pulled apart and Clare got a cup from the cabinet in order to make some tea; despite the grin she was wearing, Helen could tell that her daughter was not necessarily happy. Usually on Christmas, she would be smiling and laughing with those she loved. This morning would obviously be a different story since the house was so empty and almost everyone she would usually spend this day with was not here.

"Honey, are you okay with it just being the two of us here today?" Helen asked her.

"Yeah, Mom, I'm fine."

But she was not quite certain if she was genuinely fine or not. It was Christmas and she knew that she should be full of joy, but she was not. In her mind, today was going to be lonely since there would only be two people in the house who will only smile a couple of times. She was used to seeing a group of people laughing and having fun without a care in the world; this year would be completely different and it made her heart break.

Despite her sadness, she decided to go along with the day and make it as pleasant as possible. She and Helen exchanged the gifts they had gotten each other plus the ones relatives and Darcy sent; this was enjoyable, but it was short-lived since neither of them had much to say outside of "thank you", "this is great", or "that was nice of them". The morning past them and Clare spent some time in her room to find a place for the books, attire, or jewelry she had received. In the late morning, she and Helen went to church for the Christmas service and soon came home after talking to some of the members they ran into.

She talked to Randall and Alyson on the phone briefly at noon and she and Helen talked to a couple of relatives on Skype or through phone; she even received texts from Eli, Adam, and Alli that wished her a Merry Christmas. Although she was pleased to hear from everyone, she still could not help but feel a bit empty inside. No matter how many times she would count her blessings for all the people who cared about her, she was still disappointed to see such a still, quiet house on Christmas Day.

"Are you alright?" Helen asked her once they were making their annual Christmas dinner. She was taking care of some vegetables while Clare sliced the skin off some potatoes.

"Yeah," she said.

"Are you sure?" she responded, hearing a hidden tone from Clare that had been used before.

Clare let out a breath before putting down the potato peeler and the vegetable itself.

"I'm not used to Christmas being this quiet; Dad's not here, Darcy's not here, no one in the family is around; it's weird."

Helen was empathetic to Clare's feelings; it had definitely been a quiet Christmas and it was clearly not that lively. It was strange and she could not wait until she saw a smile on Clare's face again.

"It's a bit odd for me too, honey," she assured. "But at least we have each other."

"At least," Clare echoed, putting on a grin and wishing that she shared Helen's viewpoint.

They focused on preparing dinner for another few minutes before Helen insisted that she could handle the rest of the cooking and asked to set the table. Clare then started getting the dishes out of the cabinet while Helen checked on the turkey in the oven; she did not understand why she had gotten a decent sized bird yesterday when they were going to be the only ones eating it, but she figured that they would just have a lot of leftovers.

"Just a few more minutes," Helen said as she closed the oven again.

Clare grinned, wishing that Darcy or her dad was here just so she could be wearing a larger smile on her lips. At this point, she did not even mind if Alyson and Melissa were there with them if it meant that this day would feel more like the holiday she had grown accustomed to over the years. Helen began mashing some potatoes while Clare picked up the two plates and was about to walk to the dining room to set them down when the two of them heard a knock at the door. Clare furrowed her brow, wondering who would be there when it was just supposed to be the two of them today.

"Are you expecting anyone to come over?" Clare asked Helen.

"No," she answered before abandoning her work and leaving the kitchen to go towards the front door.

Keeping her ears sharp for any familiar voices, Clare gathered some utensils from the silverware drawer; she could not hear anything over the clanking metal, so she was not sure who Helen could have been talking in the other room. She did hear the door close, but she was surprised that she did not hear any footsteps afterwards.

"Clare," Helen called.

Abandoning the dishes, Clare followed her mother's voice as she wondered why she had not returned to the kitchen yet. She walked around the corner to the front of the house, her ears and eyes unprepared for what she encountered . . .

"Merry Christmas!" everyone at the door – including Helen – chorused as Clare smiled widely. Amazed and speechless, Clare covered her mouth with both of her hands; she saw Eli, CeCe, and Bullfrog standing inside the door, smiles on their faces as CeCe held a covered dish. She could not believe that four of the people she loved were there; seeing all of them in front of her instantly reversed her mood completely and she could hardly remember why she was so depressed.

"Surprised?" Eli asked.

She nodded and lowered her hands, her mind still unable to grasp what she was seeing.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"You said that you were used to having Christmas with your family; I know we're not officially family yet, but we figured that this would cheer you up."

"I wanted to put you out of your misery but then you wouldn't be as surprised," her mother explained.

"You guys planned this?" she said, looking at all four of them.

"Days ago," Bullfrog nodded. "And it was _not _easy keeping it a secret."

"It was Eli's idea, but when he brought it up we thought it was wonderful," Helen said.

"I . . . I don't know what to say," Clare said sheepishly, wishing she could find the words to express how captivated she was.

"Well, if you do, you can say it all to this guy," Bullfrog said, giving Eli a pat on the back. "He was the mastermind."

With that the three adults exited, leaving Eli and Clare alone. She smiled at him, still struggling to speak; he smiled back at her, pleased to see her so happy.

"Merry Christmas, Clare."

Not even trying to restrain herself, Clare threw her arms around Eli's neck. She released a sound that was part sob, part laugh as she felt a single tear come down her cheek. Eli's arms held her around her waist and she smiled at how . . . _perfect_ her boyfriend was; at this point in time there was no other way to describe him and she did not even want to try debunking this view.

"I can't believe you planned this," she grinned at him as she leaned out of the hug.

"And let you be lonely at Christmas?" he said with a raised brow. "I wouldn't hear of it."

"But . . . I thought you didn't . . ."

"We celebrate the holidays," he explained, reading her mind. "And Christmas is an important one for you and your family, so I think I should participate."

"Are you sure?" she asked him.

"I decorated the tree with you and your mom, remember?" he said. "I didn't mind that tradition so I can't see why I can't celebrate the rest of today with you."

Smiling at him and fighting the tears of joy, she wrapped her arms around him again and held him.

"Have I ever told you that you're the best boyfriend in the world?" she asked as he held her.

He grinned and kissed her head in response, pleased that she was starting to have a better day.

"Merry Christmas," he said to her.

"I love you."

"I love you."

The two of them exchanged a kiss before she took his hand and they stepped into the dining room. Clare looked around and the household seemed brighter than before even though there were not any adjustments in the lights. They moved to the kitchen to see Helen smiling as CeCe helped her in preparing the food while Bullfrog conversed with them.

"Trust me, you do _not _want him touching the food," CeCe warned her. "Last time he cooked for us, he almost set the kitchen on fire."

"It wasn't that bad," Bullfrog said in defense. "And at least the food turned out good."

"After you get passed the burnt flavor," Eli stated.

"Like father like son," Clare said, recalling how he burnt their dinner less than a week ago.

"That was one time," he retorted. "And you distracted me."

"Whatever you say, Eli," she sighed kiddingly as she got out three extra plates and sets of utensils. Eli rolled his eyes with a grin and followed Clare as she carried everything to the dining room. She returned to the kitchen to gather five glasses and came back to the dining room to see Eli placing all of the plates on the table mats.

"Eli, you don't have to help," she said as she put down the glasses.

"I want to," he said.

"You're a guest here."

"I still wouldn't mind helping."

He gave her a grin and she sighed in acceptance; they both gave each other smiles and the occasional playful eye roll at the other's attempt to protest. Before long, the table was set and dinner was ready. Once everything except for the turkey was set, Clare, Eli, CeCe, and Bullfrog sat at the rounded table. Clare sat on Eli's right, Bullfrog sat on his left, and CeCe was on his left; Helen would be sitting on Clare's right, leaving her to sit on CeCe's left. Helen soon stepped towards the table and everyone's stomachs began to rumble at the sight of the turkey she had sat down in the center.

"Mom, that looks great," Clare said, speaking what everyone was thinking.

"It really does," Eli agreed.

"Thanks you two," she smiled as she sat down. "Now we just have to . . ."

She trailed off and looked at the Goldsworthys, not wanting to make them uncomfortable or out of place with the suggestion of saying grace. Clare turned to Eli to ask him if they would mind; when she saw him, however, she saw how his was bowed and eyes were closed. CeCe and Bullfrog mirrored him, respecting Helen's wishes to pray; they were here for Clare to recreate a Christmas she was familiar with and so they were willing to take part in the traditions despite their lack of belief.

"Clare," Helen said, noticing the Goldsworthys and how they have given silent reassurance. "Would you like to say grace?"

"Sure," Clare agreed. She and Helen bowed their heads, closed their eyes, and folded their hands. "Heavenly Father, we thank You for this day, for this meal, and for the delight You have graced us with and the company you have given us today. In Jesus name, amen."

"Amen," Helen echoed.

After everyone had raised their heads again, two seconds of silence fell before Helen carved the turkey and put a piece on every plate; she soon sat back down and invited them all to help themselves to the other foods. CeCe had made a green bean casserole and everyone had some along with whatever was on the table; compliments were given to Helen and CeCe on their cooking and then the conversations arose.

Clare was pleasantly surprised by how well the three parents got along, especially Helen and CeCe; they were speaking as though they had been friends for years. Even though their children had been together for two years, the parents never truly had the chance to get to know each other. Whether it was because it was the holidays or because they were genuinely on good terms, the three of them contributed to conversation and there was rarely an awkward moment.

What did not surprise Clare but still made her happy was how Eli and Helen would talk to each other. Their discussions were casual and ordinary to a certain extent; but this did not matter for it was pleasant and everyone at the table was happy.

Clare frequently glanced at Eli throughout dinner and would affectionately brush her leg against his on occasion. He would smirk back at her before whispering a couple of sweet sentiments to her while the three parents continued conversing.

"Thanks for everything," she said softly to him at one point.

Eli gave her a grin before saying "anytime" to her and gently brushing his knee against hers.

Everyone soon finished eating what was on their plate and therefore got seconds and some even tried to get a third helping in. But after an hour everyone was full and could not consume anymore; Helen prepared to stand up and clear the table of the plates, but Clare read her mind and got up before she could move too much.

"I got them, Mom," Clare volunteered, collecting their plates.

"I'll give you a hand," Eli seconded.

Smiling at him in appreciation, Clare gathered as much as she could and Eli collected what he was able to before they both turned back to the kitchen; they smiled at each other as they set the dishes down by the sink. She looked over her shoulder to be sure that no one was looking in on them before she looped her arms around his waist and he reacted by placing his hands on her hips.

"You are a great boyfriend, you know that?"

"It's just dinner, Clare," he said, flattered and actually feeling his face heat up since this was the fifth or sixth time she had said this to him since dinner began.

"But you remembered that I love celebrating Christmas with my family and you were able to make that happen."

"Are you saying you already consider my parents family?" he asked.

"I have since you asked me to marry you," she answered.

They exchanged smiles and he gently kissed her forehead before meeting her eyes.

"I'm glad that you're happy," he said to her.

"Thanks to you."

She then pressed a tender kiss to his lips, not caring if anyone was watching. They could faintly hear the voices of their parents, but neither of them paid mind to what they could have been talking about. All Clare cared about was how Eli had made her this happy on this day when she honestly thought she would not be. Before long, he slowly eased away from her to meet her eyes and he was pleased to see them still shining with joy.

"Want to go for a walk?" he invited.

"Yeah," she agreed.

They informed their parents where they were going before walking towards the front door. The couple put on their coats, boots, and gloves; once Clare had on her hat and scarf, the two of them were out the door and began walking down the street. It was dark, but the scene was brightened by the streetlights and the Christmas lights on all the houses. By the time they were at the end of the street, snow flurries started coming down. Clare and Eli looked up at the sky and soon it was more than just some flurries; snowflakes began to fall on their faces and Clare spread her arms out before doing a single spin in place. Eli smiled at her as she came to a stop and noticed how pleased she looked as snowflakes clung to her eyelashes.

"This day just keeps getting better," she declared. "There's nothing like snow falling on Christmas."

Glad to see such enthusiasm from her, he watched her as glowed with joy before wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"Want to go _walking_ _in a winter wonderland_?" he asked, reciting the lyrics of the traditional song.

"Sure," she said, she put an arm around his waist.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked.

"I don't know; let's just see where our feet take us."

"Sounds good."

They continued to walk, Clare's smile never falling off her face. As they walked down the street and began wandering towards the direction of the park, her eyes glistened and her lips were always turned upward with delight.

"I haven't seen you this happy in a while," Eli observed.

"And you're surprised after what you did for me?"

"It's just that I didn't expect you to be _this happy_ about it."

"You turned my complete day around," she informed him. "I was miserable all day and then you guys showed up and it felt like the Christmas I remember; that's something I'm going to be really happy about."

Eli was pleased that Clare was so thrilled about today; he did not anticipate his gesture to be so appreciated, but he was glad that it made her smile and that she was cheerful.

"So, since you spent this Christmas with me, do you want to celebrate the holidays your way next year?" she asked him.

"There's nothing we do that differently," he told her. "We spend time together, exchange a few gifts, and enjoy the season."

"Okay . . . but do you want us to do anything special since you took part in some of my traditions today?"

"Nothing I can think of," he said.

"But if something comes to mind, let me know," she said with a grin. "And if there is anything you want us to do for the holidays when we're married, I'll hear you out."

"I was actually thinking about this a few days ago and, when we're married, I think we should celebrate Christmas."

"Really?" she said.

"It's an important holiday for you and I don't want to bring down the holiday cheer by being the Grinch."

"What about your beliefs?" she asked, not wanting him to feel like she was not respecting his views of religion.

"I see the holidays as a time to spend with friends and family; since Christmas is a big time for that, I can't see why that one day can't have the best of both worlds."

"Are you sure?"

"More than sure; today was a good day and I can't see why it should be any different in the future."

Clare smiled, speechless that her boyfriend had said this and that their children will be able to have Christmas memories just like she does. To show her gratitude, she put more of her arm around him so she could walk as close to him as possible.

"My knight in shining armor: the man with a heart of gold," she sighed.

He laughed lightly at her words for a brief moment, flattered by her reference.

"Did you ever expect your knight in shining armor to be the creepy kid who drives a hearse?" he asked.

Clare grinned and put her head against his shoulder.

"I didn't expect it years ago, but now I wouldn't have it any other way."

Eli smiled at her and turned his head until he could give her a kiss on her cheek before they continued to walk. She removed her head from his shoulder to give him a smile before they crossed the road to get to the park.

"What about you? What kind of girl did you expect to find?" she asked when they arrived at the park's entrance.

"I don't know," he said as they stepped on the snow-covered grass. I guess I never really thought about it and decided that if I found that one special girl, I would try the best to make her mine . . . thankfully it didn't take me too long to find her."

Clare's skin soon transformed from pale to pink and it was not from the chilling wind that was hitting her face. Grinning as a tear of joy struck her eye, she turned to Eli to see him looking back at her; they both kept walking as they shared a loving kiss, the words from their conversation echoing in their heads.

They walked through the park and towards the tree where they first said they loved each other. Eli cleared away the snow on it so they could both sit down without being getting their jeans too wet; they sat down and Eli instantly put his right arm around her shoulders and she scooted as close to him as possible.

"Cold?" he asked her.

"Not really," she answered; she could not imagine how she could be cold while her boyfriend was keeping her heart so warm. "You?"

"No," he replied before he looked to the sky. Snow was still falling although not as much as it was a few minutes prior; Clare joined him and smiled at the sky.

"Still having a good Christmas?" he asked.

"Definitely," she said. "What about you?"

"I get to spend hours with my girlfriend and make her happy; it's been an amazing Christmas."

"I'm glad," she smiled, pleased that he was just as content as she was.

"You know what I just realized," Eli said.

"What?"

"We haven't had a kiss under mistletoe."

Clare smiled and she kissed his lips before reaching for his free hand.

"We have many more years for that."

Eli gave her hand a gentle squeeze before slowly releasing it. He took a breath, seeing that now would be the perfect opportunity to do this . . .

"So . . . um . . ."

He put this hand in his pocket and withdrew a cube shaped box along with a thin, square one and both were wrapped in dark blue paper.

"Here," he said, handing her the packages. "Merry Christmas and happy two year anniversary."

"Eli . . . thanks."

"You can go ahead and open this one," he said, gently tapping the top of the cubed box.

Clare carefully stripped away the paper, being careful to keep it all in her lap. She soon saw a red velvet box before her eyes; curious as to what was inside, she carefully took off the lid and looked within. Her heart melting, she extracted a single glass ornament from the box and smiled; it was round and green, but she noticed how there was letters in black ink on it. They were applied neatly and she could easily read the words _Eli and Clare's 1__st__ Christmas_.

In awe of what was in front of her, Clare turned back to Eli. He was grinning at her, relieved to see her smiling. He had practiced on multiple ornaments before finally making one where the words were legible and the ink did not smudge; he was appeased to see that it still looked the way he did when he put it in the box and that Clare's face read nothing but happiness.

"Eli . . ." she said, looking back at the ornament. "It's wonderful."

He smiled at her and watched as she carefully put it back in the box and put the lid back on; she then put her arms around him in a hug and he hugged her back.

"Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome."

She soon released him before preparing to get the paper off the other one when Eli's voice interrupted her.

"You might want to wait until you're home to open that one," he told her.

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"You'll find out."

Clare softly said "alright" before looking back down at the gifts in her lap. Her stomach did a painful flip as she saw them, for he had just given her two things and she did not have anything in her pockets or in her house to give him. For the first time since they left the house, her smile vanished completely.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, not looking at him.

In truth, she felt horrible; for the second year in a row, she had nothing to give him for their anniversary. Not only did she feel this way since she had not gotten anything for the second time, but she felt guilt-ridden that she could not give anything to him at this moment when he had done so much today to make it special. Tears stung her eyes and she let out a single breath; she stabilized them, but accidentally released another sob-like gasp in the process. Eli heard and he instantly had the bad feeling that she did not really like what he had given her.

"Clare, if you don't like it –."

"No, Eli, I love it," she interrupted, facing him.

"Then what's the matter?" he asked gently.

Clare looked at her gifts again and rolled her lips, feeling awful for what she was about to say.

"I'm sorry, Eli, but . . . I don't have anything to give you. I-I tried to find something but I wasn't sure what I should get and I wanted it to be special because it's our two year anniversary but I didn't know what and . . ."

"Clare –."

"And this is the second year in a row I did this; I'm really sorry. I also didn't know if you actually got gifts at Christmas; but I should have at least gotten you _something _for our anniversary."

"Clare –."

"It was stupid too, because I know you would find some way to make me smile for our anniversary _and_ Christmas and I mean, you've given me these, you made my Christmas better, and you've been so great about everything and . . . I'm empty-handed and I can't even find something to get my boyfriend."

"Clare, sweetheart," he said, cupping her chin and guiding her head to face him. "You know I don't need anything but you."

"I wanted to get you something," she restated. "I just didn't know what."

"And I'm fine with that," he assured her, moving his hand so he was able to smooth his thumb over her cheek.

"I'm not."

Understanding why she felt this way but not wanting her to since he was genuinely satisfied with what he already had, Eli slid his hand away from her face before looking directly into her eyes.

"There's only one gift I want."

"What is it?" she asked, hoping that she would be able to get it for him.

"Your lips right here," he said before tapping his lips with his pointer finger.

"You can't be serious," she chuckled with disbelief. She could not see how a kiss would be able to count as a gift; the notion may have been sweet when they first started dating, but she did not think it would acceptable after two years when she had nothing left to give him.

"I am."

"Eli, we've been together for a while; I shouldn't just give you the kiss and that be the end of gifts."

"Why not?" he asked. "Wouldn't you be happy with just a kiss?"

"Of course, but . . . I just feel a bit bad that I'm only giving you that."

"You shouldn't. That's all I want."

"I still feel like a horrible girlfriend for not getting you anything."

"Clare, I'm away from you for weeks and weeks, and that means I can't kiss you for that long; to me, a kiss is one the greatest things I could get from you."

She looked at him, astonished that he only wanted a kiss for a present after being with her for two years and that he was not disappointed for not having anything "real".

"You mean that?"

"I really do."

Seeing and hearing the honesty in his eyes and voice, she gave him a smile before grabbing the front of his coat and moving closer to him.

"Then come here, Goldsworthy."

They both leaned towards each other; their lips met halfway and Eli cherished the feeling of the kiss. It was tender and sweet, but he could also feel the passion Clare had for him behind it. She put her arms around his neck to pull him closer and he put his arms around her waist to do the same. They forgot the cold and the icy wind that had been hitting their faces and focused on the warmth that the other was giving them.

Eli loved this kiss. It was not merely because Clare was giving him it, but that made it all the more special; she gave him all her love, desire, and care through her lips and he felt so close to her as they kissed. Minutes passed by and they did nothing but kiss; they would occasionally adjust their lips to refill their lungs with oxygen, but they soon found each other's lips again. After what could have been hours instead of minutes of kissing, Clare slowly pulled away and she met Eli's eyes and observed how they were glowing.

"Best Christmas present _ever,"_ he declared.

Not believing him in the slightest, Clare leaned into him as he put his arms around her and she hugged him back with one arm so she would be able to have a decent hold on her gifts.

"Next year you'll get something really special. I promise," she vowed.

"How about you and I just spend another Christmas together and we call it even?"

"Sounds good . . . but you're still getting something."

"Oh Edwards . . ."

()()

Eli and Clare walked back to her home fifteen minutes later, his arm around her waist as she held on to the gifts he gave her; they talked and exchanged a couple of kisses along the way as they followed their own tracks back the house. They returned just in time to spend a couple of minutes with the adults before the Goldsworthys stated that they had better get home so Helen and Clare could spend the rest of the night together. They all exchanged their farewells, Clare taking her time to thank each of the Goldsworthys in the process.

"Thank you for coming," she said as she gave Bullfrog a hug.

"I was happy to, Clare," he told her.

CeCe then came up to Clare and gave her a hug, Clare also giving her thanks to her future mother-in-law.

"Did you have a good time?" CeCe asked her.

"I did. Thanks."

"Anytime," she said, leaning away from the hug. "Don't be such a stranger; you feel free to come over whenever you like even when Eli's away."

"I will," she promised, wanting to do all she could to thank the two of them for this day; plus she hardly saw them much anymore since Eli was at university and she wanted that to change.

At last, it was time for her to say goodbye to Eli. She smiled at him and gave him a hug, which he reciprocated.

"Thank you," she whispered to him.

"No problem."

She heard the parents exchanging farewells behind her; she took advantage of the small amount of privacy they had to give him a kiss.

"I love you," she said softly when she freed his lips.

"I love you too."

"When can we see each other again?" she asked, not wanting to spend any more time away from Eli while he was still in Toronto.

"Tomorrow too soon?" he asked.

"Perfect," she consented before she put her arms around him for one final hug. She clung to him and he held her, neither of them wanting to let go.

"Merry Christmas," he said to her.

"Merry Christmas," she replied.

After a couple more seconds of holding on to each other, they slowly separated and joined the adults near the front door.

"Thank you so much for coming," Helen said to the Goldsworthys as they headed towards the front door and began pulling on their coats.

"We were glad to," CeCe replied. "We had a great time."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Edwards," Eli said as the door opened and everyone began to exit.

"You too, Eli."

"Goodbye," Clare to them.

Everyone echoed their goodbyes and happy holidays before they walked back to the car. Helen and Clare stood at the door, waving to the family whenever they waved to them as they climbed into their car. Clare stopped waving when the Goldsworthys were no longer able to see them, but she did not remove herself from the front step until the taillights were no longer in sight. When they could no longer see Bullfrog's car, the two of them stepped backing into the house.

"Wasn't that nice?" Helen said with a smile on her face.

"It was," Clare agreed, thinking of how much of an understatement her mother's words were. Helen then returned to the living room, leaving Clare alone by the door. She then picked up her gifts from the small table beside the door and looked down at them; she smiled at the the box that contained the ornament and then at the gift that was still wrapped under it, only being able to wonder what it was. Deciding that she would unwrap it in a few minutes, she smiled at all the blessings this Christmas Day had given; she had her mom, her future mother and father in-laws, and her future husband who she loved more than she could begin to say. She thanked God for all four of them, grateful that they had given her such an amazing evening . . .

* * *

"_Where it was dark now there's light_

_Where there was pain now there's joy_

_Where there was weakness, I found my strength _

_All in the eyes of a boy"_

_~"A New Day Has Come" by Celine Dion_

* * *

The next chapter is in the works, so it should be up before Friday. Review please!


	139. I'm Gonna Love You

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Whoa! You guys are incredible! We are so close to 1,700 reviews! That's a bit more than three hundred away from 2,000! You guys are the best! Thank you everyone who is continuing to give support! Thanks SA5M, huffletodapuffle, eclarefanxxx, rawrglefargle, Jordanxx, Bree525, neverknewalovelikethis, Guest, MadameDegrassi4587, and BlackRabbit550 for reviewing. And thank you to everyone who gave their support through twitter! That means a lot me as well! Sorry that I did not update this when I planned; things came up and I had to put everything on hold for a few days. But it's up now, so read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . *leaves to listen to the Black Veil Brides album I have recently purchased*

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Nine

I'm Gonna Love You

Clare spent the rest of the evening smiling; she helped Helen clean up and talked to her more than she did that whole day. Even after the Goldsworthys left the atmosphere was bright and warm; they were smiling more and spent the last few hours enjoying the day by watching movies, talking, and singing the occasional carol whenever they thought it was too quiet.

By midnight, Helen was worn out and was going to bed; her daughter, however, was still wide-awake. She was in her room, sitting on her bed; now that she was alone, she was finally able to see what Eli's other gift to her was. Excited and curious, she tore off the paper and saw a case that could have contained an album or a CD-ROM; what really caught her eyes was the piece of paper on the front that was concealed behind the plastic. She proceeded to read what was written on it, which seemed to be a note in Eli's handwriting . . .

_Merry Christmas Clare! You are the greatest and I hope that this video gives you all the joy and love you deserve when I can't always give it to you in person. I can't wait until we can actually start saying happy anniversary to each other for years of marriage. Until then, happy two year anniversary._

_ All my love,_

_ Your Eli_

Smiling at the words, she got out of bed to go grab her laptop off her desk; she rested her it on her thighs and she leaned against the headboard before opening it and taking the disc out of its case. She was excited to discover what was on it, so she made haste and put it in her laptop drive; after only waiting for a few seconds, she saw Eli appear on the screen. Judging by the background, he was sitting in his living room and no one else but him and the camera were in the environment. Not sure what to expect, Clare pressed play and began watching what Eli had created . . .

"_Hi, Clare_," he said to the camera. "_This is my two year anniversary slash Christmas present to you. It's not much, but I hope you like it nonetheless. I'm making this so I can tell you how much you mean to me and how much I love you; I'm just going to say everything straight from the heart here and I hope that it makes you smile._

"_Um . . . let me just begin by telling you that you are the most caring, beautiful, the smartest, funniest, and most amazing person I've ever met. I love you and you are everything to me. I cannot believe how we have been together for two years now. In all honesty, I don't completely understand how or why you have been willing to be with me for this long; but I am glad that I have been able to spend these last couple of years with the most amazing girl I've ever known and I am honored to spend the rest of my life with you. I would also like to say thank you for dealing with me, especially this past year when we have definitely had our ups and downs. We had been through a lot since the beginning of our relationship, but I think this year has really put us to the test. We dealt with Kate, then we had our own problems, and then we had to . . . go through the fire and the trial and everything and now we're doing long-distance. It's just a great relief to me that we have been through a lot and we are still going strong and I just hope that it will remain that way no matter what happens to us._

"_I also want to thank you for putting up with me whenever I get annoyed or something. I know I'm not exactly the easiest guy to deal with and that I can be a bit of a jerk sometimes, so the fact that you're still willing to put up with me means so much. And you were with me through some of the hardest times of my life and I don't really think I've told you how much that meant – and still means – to me that you were there and that you're still here giving me so much support when I don't always deserve it. _

"_I don't even know how I can even begin to thank you for helping me through everything. You were there for me when I hoarded, when I cut, and whenever I needed a friend. Not only were you there to help me feel better, but you were my biggest support system; you always tell me I can do anything and that I can get better and I know I probably wouldn't have believed that if you were not around. You believed in me when I thought no one else did and you . . . you never let me give up on myself, which is amazing and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that._

_ "You always know how to make me smile even on the days when I don't think I will. Whether it's because you say something funny or if you just tell me that you're glad we're together, it always makes my day brighter. Just seeing your face in pictures or talking to you on Skype also makes me smile and . . . as corny as this may sound, seeing your eyes and smile and hearing your voice make my days better. _

"_Unfortunately, there are days when I am not in the greatest spirits and it takes me a while to get out of the rut I'm in; but you still try to make me feel better and no words can describe how much I appreciate that. You've given me so much throughout our relationship that I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you for it all. The best way I can do that is promising you that I will be here whenever you need me; even if I have to leave Ottawa, I'll be there for you and I'll do what I can for you. I'll dry your tears, kiss you, hold you, anything. I'll stay by your side for as long as you want me to and I'll give you space whenever you need it. You mean the world to me and I would do anything for you as long as it makes you happy._

"_I know we have our fights, our disagreements, and we do have our problems, but I'm glad that we always get through them somehow. And I just want to say that I will never, ever, _ever_ give up on us. I'm not giving up on us now when we're in a long-distance relationship or any time in the future when we may be an old married couple who have nothing better to do than bite each other's heads off._

_ "Long story short, I love you, Clare Diana Edwards. I loved you yesterday, I love you today, I'll love you tomorrow, and I'll love you for the rest of my life. Merry Christmas, sweetheart, and thank you for two of the best years of my life."_

Tears were running down Clare's face by the time the video was over. Her heart was racing in merriment and she felt as though she had never been through anything heartbreaking in her entire life; her happiness was indescribable and she could not fathom how someone was actually able to love her that much. She had always been aware that Eli cared for her and loved her more than life, but he had found a way to show her that in a way she did not expect.

Her mind full of thoughts of gratefulness and love, she closed her laptop and put it back on her desk before snatching up a key ring that had two keys on it: her house key and the key to the Goldsworthy's house that Eli had given her half a year ago. She put it in her pocket and rushed out of her room as quickly as possible. Careful not to wake up Helen, Clare hurriedly pulled on her boots, coat, scarf, gloves, and hat; not paying mind to the dark or the cold, she exited the house and relocked the door with her house key.

Within seconds, she was walking through the snow and was taking the familiar route to Eli's house; there was a breeze in the air but snowflakes were not falling around her, therefore providing the journey with fewer obstacles. Of course, it could have been snowing, raining, sleeting, or hailing and Clare would have still been walking. She had to see Eli and thank him for giving her the warmest feeling imaginable.

She trudged through the snow, being wary of where she was stepping and where she was going through the dark. Within minutes, she was at the Goldsworthy's front door; hoping that someone would still be up and they would not mind her intrusion, she put her hand to the knob and attempted to turn it, only to find it locked. Relieved that she had decided to bring her key, she unlocked the door and was able to slip inside within seconds. Moving quietly to not disturb the household, she locked the door behind her and slid off her boots and took off her winter attire so she would not tramp snow all over the place. Being as quite as possible, Clare went up the stairs and was cautious to not make any noise as she approached Eli's room. She expected him to be awake but when she slowly opened his door she saw that Eli was lying on his side, sound asleep.

Seeing Eli brought the tears back to her eyes. That boy – that man – took the time to make a video to tell her how much he loved and appreciated her. His voice said the words that came straight from his heart and she knew that she was truly blessed. Unable to restrain herself, she closed the door behind her and moved to his bed. The warm tears went down her cheeks and she could not hold herself back any longer. She sat next to him when she arrived at his bed, putting her hand on his upper arm before gently shaking it.

"Eli," she choked. He stirred before turning his head over his shoulder and attempting to open his eyes.

"Clare?" he asked, surprised to see her in his room at one o'clock at night. He was alarmed to see her tears and he was instantly worried. "What's wrong?"

Without warning, she smashed her lips to his; the warmth of his skin was burning against her cold flesh, but she did not pay mind to it. She climbed onto him, causing his back to lie against the mattress. Out of habit and reflex, Eli put his hands arms around her while she made an effort to hold him as he continued to lie down. Her kiss was chaste, but that did not take away from the power or love she was creating with it.

Tears escaped her closed eyes and landed on Eli's face, but he did not dare break the kiss until Clare was content with it. He continued to hold her securely in his arms as she kissed him and it was not until she needed to breathe that she stopped. She then removed her lips from his and buried her head in the crook of his neck, tears proceeding to roll down her cheeks.

"Is everything okay?"

"Everything is perfect," she cried, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I-I'm happy."

Eli rubbed his hand over her back, trying to soothe her tears but not the emotion for them.

"You watched it?" he assumed. He felt her nod as more tears leaked from her eyes onto his neck. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"H-Happy tears, Eli. I don't mind."

Eli held her against him, continuing to smooth his hand over her back. He sighed in relief and achievement, glad that Clare was happy and that the video he made her smile just as he wanted it to.

"That was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Thank you so much."

"No problem," he said.

"I love you, Eli. I love you so much that . . . I can't even describe it."

"I love you too."

She took some breaths, trying to still her tears as she sat up and he did the same.

"I'll never understand why you're such a sweetheart to me all the time," she told him while she tried to dry her tears.

"Well, in case you didn't notice, you're kind of really important to me."

"But . . . you surprised me today, you made that for me, and you still want to be with me after two years and . . ."

All the emotions were building within her and she had to take a deep breath to keep anymore tears from spilling; she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, exhaling when she felt him holding her again.

"Thank you so much."

"I'm glad you liked it."

"I loved it. You're the best boyfriend in the world," she told him once again.

"I just wanted to make you that to show you how happy I am that we're still together after everything we've been through."

She let out a small breath as she smiled. After he held her in his arms for a couple of minutes, she leaned away from him and dried the stains that the tears had created on her face.

"I'm sorry I woke you up; I just wanted to thank you in person."

"You can come over day or night, remember?" he said, seeing her grin in response. Eli slid some hair behind Clare's ear, his fingers brushing against the skin of her cheek and the skin of her ear in the process. "You're cold."

"Well, I wanted to see you and I don't have a car yet, so . . ."

"So you braved the frosty wilderness."

She nodded, tangling her hands in his blankets in order to warm them.

"Want to stay here so you don't have to go back outside?"

"I'd love to," she answered.

Eli smiled at her again before pecking her lips, pleased that he would be able to hold her in his arms on this night.

"I'll get you something to sleep in."

"Wait," she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. She sat there and took a breath before mustering up enough courage to put her hands to the hemline of her sweater and pull it over her head. The shirt she was wearing underneath came off her as well and she was soon sitting there in nothing on her torso except a nude colored lace bra. She noticed how Eli's eyes widened and she could not help but grin as she tossed her clothes to the floor. "Body heat is the best way to keep warm, right?"

"Clare," he said, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from her torso.

"Yes?" she asked, trying not to think about how exposed she was at this moment.

Eli tried to speak, but his mouth had suddenly gone dry and he could not find the words to express his thoughts. He saw Clare grinning at him mischievously as she moved closer to him; she put her lips to his and created the most passionate kiss his surprised lips would allow. She put her arms around his middle, yet she did not feel him move a muscle. After sensing his hesitation, Clare gently pulled back and began kissing his neck, hoping that he would eventually see what she was implying.

"Clare," he said again, his voice coming out grittier than it usually would have been.

"Eli," she replied, tugging on his neck with her teeth before leaning away to meet his eyes; she looked at them and saw them perplexed and surprised. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just . . . not sure what . . ."

Clare grinned reassuringly, gently taking his hand and putting it over her heart as she had done the last time they had the chance to be intimate. She saw Eli breathe and his eyes glow when he finally saw what her intentions were.

"This is my gift to you," she said persuasively, keeping her hand over his.

"I . . . I . . ."

"Shhh," she said, leaning in to meet his lips again. "You did the most amazing thing for me and . . . I just want to do this for you."

"If you don't want to do it then you don't have to."

She then took Eli's hand away from her heart and brought it to her lips.

"I want to."

Eli, still trying to keep his eyes in respectful territory, took a breath in order to balance his blood flow through his body.

"I don't want you be uncomfortable."

"I have nothing to be uncomfortable about," she assured him, weaving her fingers through his. "It's nothing we haven't done before."

"I know, but . . . I don't want you to feel like you have to."

"I know I don't have to; I want to."

"But would you still be feeling that way if you didn't watch the video?"

Clare was silent; part of her wanted to do this since they had not been extremely intimate for two months, yet she also knew that she would not have been suggesting this if she had not felt so guilty about not giving him a gift for their anniversary or Christmas.

"It's not that I don't want to," he said. "I just want us to do that when the moment is right and not because we feel like we have to."

Sighing in comprehension – she was too overjoyed to be disappointed – Clare released his hand and ran her fingers through Eli's hair.

"Then why don't we just keep each other warm tonight?" she suggested. "And then we can have a special night just for . . . _us _before you go back to Ottawa?"

Eli grinned at her suggestion before kissing her lips.

"_Parfait_," he declared softly. "And, since we're using the good old body heat method tonight . . ."

Clare felt herself blushing as Eli took off his own shirt and threw it to the side. Once it was off, she tried not to make him self-conscious and therefore looked directly at his eyes instead of his shoulders and arm; she caught a glimpse of them when he was taking off her shirt and it seemed that the cuts on his shoulders would not heal any more than they already have. Many of them had faded, but the majority of them left their scars behind; the ones on his left arm were still incredibly noticeable and Clare hoped that these would eventually fade with time.

When she was able to look passed the cuts, she allowed her eyes to wander over his body; she smiled at him body, pleased to be seeing him half naked again. Taking a bold move to show him that she was sincere about what she said, she put her hand on his thigh.

"We may be a bit warmer if we get rid of our pants."

Eli turned up one of the corners of his mouth, impressed by the confidence she had in her suggestion. The touch of her hand was so powerful yet so delicate that he almost sighed at the loss, but he that thought was soon forgotten. Within a quarter of a minute, Eli was only in his boxers and Clare was in her bra and underwear; he saw her bashful smile and he grinned back at her.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Smiling to answer his question, Clare crawled into Eli's arms and kissed him; he kissed her back with all the love he had for her and never dared to relent. She found his shoulders before pushing him back to the mattress; she felt his arms go around her waist to keep her close to him. Their chests met and Clare's breath would have been taken away if she was not already kissing Eli.

He removed one of his arms from her waist to put her hand on her upper arm, feeling her warming flesh. He felt her deepen the kiss when his hand made contact with her; resisting all temptation to not cave in to his desires, Eli slowly put his left hand on her hip so half of his hand was on her panties and the other was making contact with her skin. Clare moaned, revoking her lips but keeping her head to his. She moved one of her hand from his shoulders to his face, cupping his jaw as she grinned down at him.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he said, massaging the skin of her hip with his fingers. They exchanged smiles and a kiss again before they got comfortable in the bed; Clare rested her head on Eli's chest and he pulled the covers over them. He wrapped his arms around her and she immediately began receiving heat from his person. She felt herself warming up and she intertwined her legs with Eli's; the warmth caused her eyes to grow heavy and she closed them, ready for sleep to take her whenever it wanted.

"How's this?" he asked.

"A bit tighter," she endeavored, wanting to be as close to him as she could. She felt him pull her closer to him and she sighed contently. She grinned when Eli began moving his hand up and down her spine, causing to feel extremely comfortable.

"You're so soft," he told her and she blushed because of it.

She shuddered as Eli's fingers traced her spine from the small of her back to under her bra; he repeated this she hummed every time his skin traveled over hers. She let out a moan at one point when his finger accidentally hit her bra and moved it up for a second, touching the skin there in the process. He smiled at her sound and gently kissed her head. Clare grinned at this feeling, amazed how Eli could be effortlessly sweet, considerate, and loving at the same time.

"I love nights like this."

"So do I," he said, feeling her warm and smooth skin beneath his fingers. "Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?"

"Yes, Eli," she assured, her face heating up even more against his bare chest.

"Just making sure," he stated.

Eli held her and she rested with him, wanting to cherish this moment. Clare remained by his side, knowing that she was fortunate to be held in Eli's arms and fall asleep with him.

"Eli?" she whispered, her eyes closed while she was still awake.

"Yes?" he replied.

"Will you marry me?"

Eli smiled before turning them over until they were lying on their sides so he could kiss her forehead, between her eyes, her cheek, and then her lips. He gave her love and thought into the kiss, grateful that she said these words to him even though they had made this pact to be wed in the future.

"I will," he replied when he set her lips free.

"And get married," she continued. "And have babies . . . and grow old together."

Eli smiled at her plans, wanting to live those very dreams with her.

"I'm in," he corresponded.

"Let's do it," she breathed. "Let's get married."

"We will; just a few more years."

"No," she said, opening her eyes and looking at him through the dark. "Let's not wait another five and a half years. The day I turn eighteen, let's get our marriage licenses and go to Vegas or somewhere and get married."

For a second, Eli did not think he heard her correctly for Clare was always so sensible about these decisions that he would never expect her to suggest getting married just like that unless she was not thinking clearly.

"You want us to get married that soon?"

"Call me crazy, but yes I do. I want to be your wife."

Not wanting to hurt her or give her the wrong impression, Eli let out a low breath before looking directly at Clare.

"If we were both out of university and living in the same city, I would marry you right now. But we made these plans for a reason; going against them now while you're still in high school probably wouldn't work."

"Then what about next Christmas?" she suggested. "We'll be in the same city and we won't be apart from each other. Then we can have a real wedding since we'll be together and we'll have time to plan it."

Eli sighed, wishing with all his heart that they could chase that fantasy and not have to deal with the realistic path the world expected them to travel.

"I really want to agree to that, but . . . there's too much going on for us to be considering getting married right now. We'll be in school still, we'll be working, and we still want to get a head start on our careers; if we get married then, we could start having problems and I don't want us to risk having any so early on."

"We're already going to be living together," she reminded him. "And we're not going to be apart, so why can't we just –?"

"Clare," he interrupted softly. "I want us to do this right; I want us to actually have some student loans paid off and to be in a place when we can start a life together and not worry about school."

"That's a really long time away."

"I know, but we'll get there eventually. Just watch, these next few years are going to fly by and then we'll be able to get married; nothing's going to change that."

Clare lied there and listened to his words; she instantly felt a bit foolish for being so impulsive about this when this was obviously a decision that they could not make on impulse. Eli was right about; they could not change their plans now even if their desires were begging them to. She smiled at how their roles were reversed; for once, Eli was the one being practical while she wanted to take chances and have spontaneity.

"Since when did you become so rational?" she said kiddingly.

"Since I realized that I would do everything possible to be sure that we're going to make it through this long-distance relationship."

Clare grinned, once again being reminded of how fortunate she was to have Eli no matter what they had to overcome to come this far.

"Remember how you suggested getting married over the summer when you first gave me my ring?" she chuckled, seeing the contrast in then and now.

"Yeah, that was not my brightest moment," he recalled with a chuckle of his own.

"That may be, but sometimes I wish we did."

"Oh yeah?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. I mean, I think we made the right decision by waiting, but I want to marry you so much."

"That's a feeling I know too well," he empathized, gently combing the ends of her hair with his fingers. "But we'll get there, right?"

"Yeah, and this is all going to be worth it," she told him. "The long-distance, the disagreements, the worry . . . it's all going to be worth it if it means we'll get married."

Eli's heart warmed at these words and her actions from a few minutes before did nothing but proved this to him; she was his and he was hers and all the pain they had experienced thus far and the pains of longing to come were only going to be a phase compared to the lifetime they would have together as husband and wife.

"What would I do without you?"

"I ask myself the same thing," she said. "I try not to think about it."

Eli met her eyes, reading the truth, love, and their story within them . . . and it was perfect.

"I'm in love with you, Clare."

"I'm in love with you too."

They exchanged one last soft kiss before Clare nestled her head back on his chest and he kept his arms locked around her.

"By the way," Eli said, "thanks for coming over tonight."

Clare grinned and turned her head to kiss his heart before lying it down again and closing her eyes, glad that she and Eli would both fall asleep in bliss on this night.

"You're welcome, Elijah."

* * *

"_I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life_

_I'm holding you safe here in this heart of mine_

_I can't live without you 'cause my soul would die _

_You know I'm telling the truth _

_I'll spend the rest of my life loving you"_

_~"I'm Gonna Love You" by Jennifer Love Hewitt_

* * *

I was going to put some smut in this chapter (and I had planned on putting it in this chapter for a while) but when I actually wrote it, it didn't seem to flow with the scene, so I'm saving it for a different time.

Also, this is a decent stopping point for those who want to stop reading.

Recommendation: anything from the author shehadastory! She writes great EClare!

Okay guys, new plan is now in action for what is to come! This story is probably going to be like 10 or 20 chapters shorter because of it (to some, you're welcome; to the rest, I'm sorry). I'm ready to write it, but we still have more chapters to go before we get there. Don't worry, you'll know what I'm talking about when we get there. Until then, review please!


	140. Fearless

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for your reviews! We're over 1,700! YAY! To J.A.L.L, SA5M (thank you for both reviews), and Crissychan350: you guys give the sweetest reviews and you never fail to boost my confidence. You three always make me smile! Thank you for the support! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . *continues to hum the new Black Veil Brides album* (it's my newest obsession; _don't judge me_!)

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Forty

Fearless

For the next few days that followed, Clare rarely left the Goldsworthy's home. She and Eli were attached at the hip day in and day out for the next three days; they went out together, watched movies together, cuddled on his bed together, and, thanks to Helen's consent, they were also able to spend the nights together.

Today, they were relaxing in his room; CeCe and Bullfrog were downstairs and they had just got done having lunch with them, so they were now taking some time for themselves. Eli was lying on his bed and Clare was on top of him, her fingers tangled in his hair as she kissed him; one of Eli's hands was resting in the middle of her spine while the other sat on the small of her back. They were humming against each other's lips, savoring the sweet taste and thrill the other was giving them.

Neither of them knew how long they had been kissing, but Eli was running out of air and needed to breathe; plus he also want to get a look at Clare's face. He slowly pulled away from her lips and rested his head on his pillow, meeting Clare's eyes as she smiled at him.

"Eli Goldsworthy: world's best kisser," she declared.

"Thank you, thank you. This is such an honor," he said self-contentedly. "I would like to thank my genes for blessing me with such great lips –."

Clare's laughter cut him off before pecking his lips in an attempt to silence him.

"And also the world's smuggest male," she said, untangling her fingers from his hair so she could fix the strands that were sticking out in every direction. "But I love you anyway."

"And I love you," he responded.

He then stuck his lips to her neck, kissing it lustfully. Clare gasped as Eli left a love bite on her skin; his lips sucking on her skin made her toes curl, her eyes droop, and she seemed to have stopped breathing. When he removed his lips, her heart fell, her body relaxed, and she was able to exhale; she opened her eyes to see Eli smirking at her and she glared at him in retort.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."

"I'm not the only one," he countered.

She stuck her tongue out at him before sitting up, which cause his hands to slide from her back to her hips. Eli smiled up at her and she smiled down at him, running her right hand through his hair.

"Do you know what I think we could do today?" Eli said.

"What?"

"Go ice skating."

Clare could not believe her ears. The idea of Eli going ice skating never crossed her mind before, but it was almost impossible to imagine him doing it. He had told her before that he was not really interested in it and that he would more than likely never give it a try, so this suggestion caught her by surprise.

"Seriously?" she clarified. "You want to go ice skating?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Why not?" he replied.

"You hate ice skating."

"You don't," he stated.

Clare sat there, truly wanting to go since it had been a while since she had done been on the ice and she did enjoy it. However, she did not want to go if Eli did was not going to have a good time.

"I don't want you to do something you don't want to do."

"I want to take my girlfriend ice skating."

"Even if you have to skate yourself?" she questioned.

"Yes," he said. "I think we'll have fun."

"But what if we go and you don't have fun?"

Eli rolled his eyes, seeing that he would have to find a way for her to agree to going ice skating with him.

"Stay the night and have a Batman movie marathon with me and we call it even. Deal?" he compromised.

Clare grinned, knowing that Eli enjoyed movie nights and she wanted to thank him for the date they would have today.

"Deal."

()()

Half an hour later they pulled up to a pond which had been frozen for weeks and did not show any signs of melting any time soon; metal railings surrounded it for people to grab onto if they needed it. Eli and Clare climbed out of Morty, noticing that how many were on the ice having a great time while others sat on the sides drinking from their thermos. There was a small stand set up for people who wanted to rent skates; the couple went there and got theirs before sitting on one of the vacant benches to trade footwear.

"Have you ever been ice skating before?" he asked her as they tied the laces on their skates.

"Only a few times; I did it a couple of times last Christmas when I visited some family in Brantford and a few times with Darcy when we were younger. Ready?" she asked when their laces were done up.

"Set," he answered.

The two of them cautiously got to the pond, grasping the railing and stepping on the ice with caution. They were both petrified at first, but Clare was soon able to steady herself on her blades and let go of the rail. Taking a breath, she let herself move on the ice, keeping her arms up help her with balancing.

"Be careful," Eli said, still gripping to the rail.

"I will."

Too nervous to move, Eli kept his eyes on Clare as she moved and hoped to all that was good that she did not hurt herself. Within a second, however, he saw that he did not have anything to worry about; not only was she not struggling, but she was one of the best skaters out there. She was moving gracefully across the ice at a decent momentum and she was able to swiftly turn and not hit any other skaters. After circling the entire perimeter of the pond, she elegantly stopped in front of Eli.

"Only a few times, eh?" he remarked, impressed by her ability.

Rolling her eyes playfully, Clare grinned at him.

"You ready to give it a try?"

One of the reasons Eli was not a fan of this activity was because he was never able to keep his balance on the blades. Right now, the only reason he was able to remain fixed on his feet was because he was gripping to the rail. He observed the other skaters on the pond and saw how many of them were losing their balance and ended up falling on the ice. He swallowed, not wanting to be one of those people.

"Come on, be brave," she encouraged when she saw Eli's expression.

"Uh . . . I don't know . . ."

"What? The big, bad, scary, hearse-driving college kid is afraid of a little ice?"

"It's not the ice I'm worried about."

"Then what is it?"

"Falling and then get my fingers cut off after someone runs over them with their skate or falling and then getting a concussion."

"Eli, I'm not going to let you fall," she assured; she gave him a gentle grin before she held out her glove-covered hands to him. "Just keeping holding my hands and I promise that I won't let anything happen to you . . . or your fingers."

Eli smiled timidly before placing his hands in Clare's and gently squeezing them. She moved backwards slightly, but not enough to move Eli.

"Just slide one foot forward and then the other," she instructed him after surveying the ice behind them. She moved backwards and watched Eli slide his left foot forward and then his right. "Just like that."

Eli grinned and looked down at his feet, making sure that he did not get too close to Clare's feet to prevent himself from tripping her onto the ice.

"Head up," she advised him. "You won't be able to see where you're going."

Hoping to keep his feet steady, Eli heeded her advice; he saw Clare grinning at him and he grinned back, trying not to be intimidated by the skaters behind her. He would occasionally glance down at his feet again and Clare would squeeze his hands to reassure him. When Eli became more confident in his steps, she gradually increased their pace so they were doing the same speed as the other skaters.

"Are you okay?" she asked him when they were able to maintain a decent rhythm.

"So far, so good," he answered.

"Alright," she said. "I'm going to let go of one of your hands, okay?"

"Uh . . . okay."

"It'll be okay. Try to keep your balance."

Eli nodded and Clare slowly released his right hand before carefully skating beside him. He tightened his grip on her hand, trying to keep himself steady now that there was nothing on his right to support him.

"You got it," Clare proclaimed.

"Now I just have to be careful not to fall."

"I won't let you," she eased him.

He turned to Clare and pecked her lips before they turned their attention back to the ice. They kept moving, Clare guiding them to the end of the pond without hitting any of the other skaters around them. She took hold of the railing and Eli joined her, both of them using their free hands to hold on to it.

"See, it's not that bad," she said.

"I guess not," he agreed, relieved that he had not fallen yet. "And it helps that I have a good coach."

Clare grinned at him and kissed his lips, flattered yet pleased that he was enjoying himself.

"Want to go again?" she asked.

"Lead the way, Coach Edwards."

Keeping hold of his hand, Clare led him as they went began to move again. Once they got going, they skated side-by-side but never disjoined hands. They laughed at the feeling they got when they had to turn and risk falling and then they would smile and congratulate themselves for remaining on their feet.

"Having fun?" he asked her as they circled the pond again.

"Yes," she said.

"Are you glad we came?"

"Are you?" she asked, the smile on her face speaking for itself.

"Hell yeah," he said.

She smiled at him before skating to the railing and both of them grabbing it.

"I'm glad you're having a good time," she told him.

"Me too," he replied. "I actually think I'm getting the hang of this."

"Do you think you're ready to go solo?"

"Um . . . why not?" he decided.

"Alright," Clare congratulated, letting go of his hand. "Give it a go."

"Okay . . . here is goes."

Eli took a breath and began to glide onto the ice, carefully moving his feet and keeping himself aware of his surroundings. He was moving slowly at first, but he was eventually able to pick up some speed. Adrenaline began to kick in and he soon began to feel the wind against his face; he smiled, pleased that he convinced Clare to go out so he could experience this rush.

"You're doing great, Eli!" he heard Clare call from the other end.

Feeling confident, Eli decided to return his girlfriend so they could do this together. He turned around and began skating towards her; he saw her smiling and he smiled back, pleased that they were having a good time. He was almost to her when . . .

"AH!"

"Eli!" Clare shrieked.

She saw him slip onto the ice, his backside breaking his fall as he let out a gasp of pain. Panicked, she skated passed everyone in her way to get to Eli; he was rising to his feet slowly, attempting to ignore the pain in his rear end.

"Are you okay?" she asked, taking his hands.

"Yeah, thanks," he said as she helped him regain his balance on the blades.

"Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," he assured. "I think I bruised my butt, but I'm fine."

Clare sighed and chuckled in disbelief and amusement; she would have thought that he would have worn more than a single pair of snow pants to protect his body from the ice since he was so afraid of falling.

"I think that's enough skating," she told him.

"I'm fine," he said, not wanting her day to be cut short because of him.

"Come on, you're not going to have fun while you can barely skate."

"I can still skate."

"You can?"

"Yeah," he said.

He slid his foot forward and attempted to prove his words to her, but he only moved a foot when he flinched from the pain. Clare was soon by his side and he looked at her apologetically; she simply took one of his hands with a small grin.

"Let's go home and have that Batman marathon."

()()

By the time they got back to Eli's house, the pain in his behind had begun to throb. He did not complain about it, but he was relieved when they got to his room and they were able to relax. They changed into more comfortable clothes and put in the first Batman movie before lying on his bed, both of them resting on their sides to face the television. Eli's arm was wrapped around Clare and he used the other one to support his head to watch the movie, trying to focus on it instead of the pain.

They were watching the movie in silence, Eli occasionally leaning down to kiss her cheek, her jaw, or behind her ear; she would respond giving him a kiss and they would soon begin watching the film again. When they reached the halfway point, Clare turned her head so she was looking straight at Eli. He felt her movements and turned his head to see her smiling at him and he returned the gesture.

"What are you looking at?"

Clare shrugged before answering.

"Just the most handsome, most amazing, and sweetest guy I've ever met."

Eli looked around the room for a second – as though he was looking for something –before facing Clare again.

"I'm the only guy in here."

"You catch on quick," she said before kissing his lips. He reciprocated, showing his appreciation for her words through his lips; he was sweet, gentle, and affectionate as he delivered this kiss. It was such a perfect kiss that he felt disappointed when it came to an end, but seeing Clare's eyes filled the void.

"How's your butt?" she asked him.

"Sore, but fine," he said.

"Do you think it's starting to bruise?"

"I don't know."

"Should I take a look?"

Eli narrowed his eyes at her, taken aback.

"Are you asking to look at my ass?"

"Maybe I am," she said with confidence.

To say he was caught off-guard by her proposition was an understatement; she had never made this kind of offer before and he was shocked that she was suggesting it. However, he was greatly impressed by her boldness and how she did not seem to be embarrassed or uncomfortable by asking.

"Are you sure?"

"It's nothing I haven't seen before."

Eli continued to grin and she grinned back, clearly resolute with her decision.

"Okay . . ."

Not sure how this was going to go, Eli rolled onto his other side. He heard Clare let out a breath before feeling her take hold of the waistband of his pants and boxers. Within seconds, he gradually felt his skin become exposed to his girlfriend.

He did feel his face grow a bit warm at the thought of Clare looking at his bare butt for the first time in seven months, but he did not feel uncomfortable or embarrassed by it. This was simply mild jitters from a moment that had not been experienced for so long.

"How does it look?" he asked.

"Red," she said.

"So it probably won't be long until I have a medley of purples and blues on my butt."

He heard her chuckle before hearing her take in a breath of air. Just when he was about to ask what was wrong, he felt her hand come into contact with his injury. Not being able to stop himself, Eli let out a sound that was mix of a gasp of slight pain, a gasp of surprise, and a moan of pleasure. He felt her hand move in circular motions over his contusion and soothed the pain little by little.

"Is this okay?" she asked him, knowing that she had not done this with him before and she did not want to give him the idea that she wanted them to go further when his parents were in the house.

"It's great," he said, relieved that his ache was subsiding.

"How does that feel?" she asked.

"So good," he answered, trying to take many small, casual breaths instead of heaving in contentment.

"Is it helping?"

"Oh yeah," he said with a voice that was close to a moan.

Eli fought back every temptation he had to moan to not make Clare feel uncomfortable as her smooth, delicate hand ran across his skin. What he did not know was that Clare could see half of his face and she could tell how he was holding back his sounds. Not wanting him to fight a battle with himself, she ran her free hand over his clad spine.

"Relax, babe. Breathe and relax."

Feeling yet another hand on him and hearing these words in a comforting tone caused Eli to release the moan he had been withholding. It was louder and lasted longer than he intended, but he could not control it; Clare put all these emotions and desires within him and it was astounding that he remained quiet until now.

"There you go," she said with a grin as she saw his face lose its tension.

He soon felt her hand abandon his back while the other continued caressing his bruise.

"This is really helping," he informed her.

"If it starts hurting again later, just let me know," she told him, not wanting him to be in any agony.

"You're the best."

"Relax," she said before he could make her blush even more.

He let out a soft hum as she continued circling her hand around him, giving him more bliss and causing more pain to vanish.

"I love you," he said.

"I love your butt."

Eli, taken aback by this statement, looked over his shoulder to face her with a lopsided smirk on his face.

"So you love me for my butt?"

"It's a nice butt," she shrugged playfully.

"You have a nice butt too but I love you for more than that."

"It's my boobs too, right?" she chuckled.

"Exactly," he answered in the same tone as she.

He heard her giggle in flattery.

"But in all seriousness, I do love you for more than your butt," she said.

"I know. And I love you for more than your perfect butt and boobs."

Blushing, Clare leaned over to give Eli a kiss on the neck before sitting back up to tend to his injury.

"You don't feel uncomfortable or anything about doing this?" he asked.

"Not at all," she said. "I actually like the view."

It was Eli's turn to have red cheeks and it was comforting that he knew that he did not have to hide them from Clare.

"Is that better?" she asked him after a couple more minutes.

"Much, _much _better," he said.

"Okay," she said before he felt his boxers and pants come back to his waist.

He rolled back over on his other side and looked at Clare, who was grinning at him as a blush on her face began to diminish.

"Thanks," he said as he kept himself supported by his elbow.

"No problem," she replied, lying down on her side as well just as Eli was.

"By the way, if you ever want to touch my butt again, you don't have to wait until I sustain another injury."

"Eli!"

"Hey, I'm just letting you know."

After they each released a few chuckles the two of them locked eyes, grins remaining on their faces until they leaned in slightly until they met each other's lips. He kissed her powerfully and she smiled against it, never wanting to let this moment of bliss to end. She never wanted to stop kissing Eli, being held by him, or being loved by him. For the rest of her life, she wanted to be with and to not be away from him more than she had to be.

Clare felt Eli slowly withdraw his lips from hers and they gazed at each other as they caught their breath; small grins were on their faces and Clare slid one of her hands onto Eli's shoulder. She gazed at him and her smile grew wider as she looked at his eyes, lips, and face.

"What?" he inquired.

"Nothing," she said. "I'm just glad that we're so close with each other that I can talk to you about anything, that I have you here, and that we can do things together without them being awkward."

Eli returned her grin and put his hand on her hip, comprehending her emotions.

"I know how that feels."

She gave his lips a brief kiss before leaning away and looking at him again.

"Can I tell you something?" she asked, slithering her hand to his chest.

"Yeah," he allowed.

"I honestly don't think anything can ever break us up."

"Really?" he said with interest in his tone.

"Really," she said. "I mean, there were so many times since we've started long-distance that we could have broken up but we didn't because we wanted to stay together; plus we've been through a lot since we first started dating and we're closer than ever. If we were meant to break up, it would have happened already."

"You really think that?"

"I do," she nodded. "I also think that if we come across anymore problems that you and I will find a way to work them out no matter what."

Eli, who started to have a feeling more wonderful than the one of Clare's hand provided, smiled at her before giving her a full kiss on the lips. In this kiss he said "thank you", "I love you", "you're my world", and "I don't want to live without you" all at the same time. Once he was certain that Clare had received his messages, he softly pulled away from her.

"Clare Edwards, you always know how to make me the happiest guy in the world."

"It's the least I can do; you always make me the happiest girl in the world."

Smiling at her, Eli gave her yet another kiss and only separated his lips after ten seconds to tell her four words he would never get tired of saying . . .

"I love you, Piglet."

"And I love you too, Fluffy."

* * *

"_I don't know how it gets better than this_

_You take my hand and drag me headfirst_

_Fearless"_

_~"Fearless" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

I had no idea where this came from! Their ice skating date was an idea I wrote way back but I never thought I would use it. This chapter was actually supposed to be about something completely different, but I disliked it and decided to change it up . . . a lot! Hence the chapter you've just read.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I am planning out the next big thing in this fic, but I'll be sure to update between planning sessions. Also, for readers of my fic "Love Is Pain", I am working on that as well.

Until next time! Review!


	141. New Year's Day

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

You guys are the greatest! Thank you everyone for the kindhearted comments! Thanks Moxxy, sushi.23, rawrglefargle, SA5M, Jordanxx, degrassicrown, Liliana, Guest, xStayWithMe, collynnoel, Crissychan350, and Eli's Wife! By the way everyone, just because this fic is being shortened does not mean it's going to end anytime soon. No sir! Now that we have that clarified, ready, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer (to the tune of "This Is Halloween" from _The Nightmare Before Christmas_): Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with me and you will see, I do not own Degrassi.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Forty-One

New Year's Day

Eli and Clare's movie marathon continued for the remainder of the afternoon and evening, which left them with plenty of time to talk and simply relax. Eli's pain – thanks to Clare's special treatment – was beginning to fade away and he was relieved that her mood maintained positive for the rest of the day.

That mood continued until the following morning when Clare got a call from Helen, which informed her that Randall and Alyson had returned from visiting her family the day before and were now hoping to see her today then possibly spend the remainder of the weekend with them. Not really wanting to go, Clare accepted to save herself from any grief she would have with her stepmother later. She and Eli were both disappointed by her potential departure, but Clare promised him that she would text him every night until they were able to go out again.

The weekend was completely uneventful; all they did was sit and talk, which Clare would not have minded if she had any interest in what either of them were saying. They spoke about their time away from Toronto, which was nothing but dull in her opinion, and she tried to be enthusiastic it but could not. For the two nights she stayed there she texted Eli and told him about how she could not wait to leave. By Monday morning, she was greatly relieved when she was awoken by the sound of a text alert tone going off; she picked it up and saw that Eli had sent her a message.

_Good morning beautiful. _

She smiled at his words before instantly typing her reply.

_Good morning handsome._

_Happy to be leaving your dad's soon?_

_Yep. I really need to spend time with you._

_I was thinking the same thing and that is why I'm texting you. Above the Dot is having a New Year's Eve party tonight. Care to be my date? Possibly spend the night?_

Clare had forgotten it was the last day of this year until she read this text. At this reminder, she smiled brightly; this year had so many ups and downs that she was ready for it to be over and for the one to come to be fantastic and full of grand possibilities. Enthusiastic about ending this year on a good note, she hastily replied.

_I'd love to!_

_Great. So do you want me to pick you up around 10?_

_ Dad wants me to spend more time with him and Alyson and have a small New Year's celebration. I'll meet you there._

_ Okay. Can't wait. See you there._

_ Great. Love you xxx_

_ Love you too xxx_

()()

After yet another uneventful day, Helen picked up Clare at the apartment and took her home. She told Helen if it would be okay if she went to Above the Dot then spend the night at Eli's and she agreed; she understood that Eli was not going to be in Toronto for much longer and she did not want to deprive Clare of the time they could spend together.

A few minutes before ten, Clare put on a black long-sleeved shirt with a small V-neck, Eli's necklace, some dark jeans, and some flats before doing her hair and makeup. Helen dropped her off at the Dot minutes later and, after promising to be careful, Clare left the car and went up to Above the Dot.

She stepped inside, keeping her eyes sharp for Eli; she could not see him anywhere near the entrance and so she walked farther inside, hoping to find him in the crowd of people. She said "sorry" and "excuse me" multiple times as she made her search, but it was not long until she found who she was looking for. She saw Eli, Adam, and a girl she had never seen before sitting at a table. The girl was sitting next to Adam and across from Eli; she had shoulder-length light brown hair, was Adam's height, and had hazel eyes. She and Adam were both smiling, but Clare could only see Eli's back; she headed towards them, hoping to catch up on anything she may have missed.

"Hi," she said, arriving at Eli's side.

"Hey, there you are," he said as she was sat down next to him.

"For a second there we thought you weren't going to show," Adam spoke.

"Well, I'm here now," she said before turning to the girl. "Hi."

"Hi," she replied.

"Oh, Clare, this is my girlfriend Natalie. Nat, this is Clare."

"Nice to meet you, Natalie," Clare said.

"You too. And, please, call me Nat."

"She got here a few days ago," Eli informed her.

"And we're just now meeting her?" Clare grinned, looking directly at Adam.

"That's my fault," she explained in her boyfriend's defense. "We've been doing some catching up and we've been doing some visiting with family."

"We?" Eli smirked. "So you've already met the parents, Adam?"

"I have," Adam said with a grin. "We had dinner with them a few nights ago."

"Along with cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents," she listed with a red face and tilting her head downward.

"Don't worry about it," Adam soothed her, taking her hand as it rested on the table; she turned to him and saw him grinning. "I had a great time."

"But I didn't want them to bombard you with millions of questions."

"At least they like me," he reminded her. "That's the important thing."

"Hmm . . . I guess you're right," she said, smiling at him; they locked eyes and smiled at each other before Nat gave Adam a kiss on the lips.

"Aww," Eli commented, reminding the couple that he and Clare were there as well. Hearing him, Adam pulled away and they both resumed their former positions, but Nat looked disappointed that the kiss ended.

"So how long are you staying in Toronto, Nat?" Clare asked.

"I'm going home on Friday," she said, more despondency leaking out of her voice. "But I'm looking forward for school to start back up."

"Nat has a thirst for knowledge," Adam stated.

"Plus it means you'll come be back," she added.

He gave her a comforting grin before kissing her head; she grinned at him and squeezed his hand.

"Hey, Eli, a table's open," Adam mentioned, nodding at a pool table that had just become available. "Want to have a game?"

"You're on," he declared before turning to Clare. "Be back in a minute."

"Have fun," Clare said.

Instead of exchanging words, Adam gave Nat a kiss on the lips before standing up and releasing her hand while he walked away from the table. Clare grinned as she watched Adam walk away from Nat as they both kept eyes locked; she turned to Eli, who wearing a lopsided smile as he watched the couple.

The boys soon began to play and the girls remained at the table, silence passing between them. They tried to watch the game their boyfriends were having, but could not see very well and so were resorted to create conversation. Clare wanted to speak, but Nat beat her to the punch with confidence.

"Adam told me that you and Eli have been together for two years now."

"We have," she answered.

"That's a long time."

"Yeah," she said.

"And you're still going strong?"

"We are," she answered, wishing that she could say more in order to make this less one-sided. "So how long have you known Adam?"

"For a couple of months," she answered. "We were friends right off the bat then we each started getting feelings for each other and we decided to give dating a try a few weeks ago."

"Cool," Clare said, approving of Adam's timing on dating this girl.

"And . . . how long have you and Adam known each other?" Nat asked, looking straight at Clare.

"For as long as I've known Eli, so a bit more than two years."

"Oh."

"He's a great guy, isn't he?"

"One of the greatest," Nat agreed. "And . . . um . . . have you ever . . . had feelings for Adam?"

Clare let out a laugh but got control of herself quickly so she did not startle Nat any further.

"No, no, no," she said. "I have never liked Adam in that way; he's like my brother."

"Really?"

"Yes, don't worry," she assured her. "My sights are set are the guy who's probably getting his butt kicked by your boyfriend."

Nat let out a small laugh in relief and humor, immediately feeling guilty about questioning this girl she just met.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I guess I'm a bit paranoid."

"No worries, I _completely_ understand how that feels."

"How so?" she asked.

"Long story," she answered simply, not wanting to discuss the past on this night. "Let's just say that I was very paranoid about this other girl liking Eli once and it terrified me. But she's out of our lives now so I don't have to worry about her anymore."

"And are you still worried now that you two are doing long-distance?"

"How much has Adam told you about me and Eli?" she grinned, knowing that this was the only way for her to obtain this information.

"A decent amount," she answered with a shrug. "The guy talks about you two a lot."

Clare wore a smile similar to Eli's lopsided grin for a moment before returning to the conversation.

"Well . . . I am worried about other girls from time-to-time, but I trust him."

"Whoa . . . I'll admit that you definitely have more guts than I do."

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't think I'll be able to be in a long-distance relationship. The idea of being away from someone I care about that much would drive me crazy."

"It drives me crazy too most of the time."

"How do you deal with it?"

"I'm not really sure. I just take it one day at a time."

"You guys must love each other a lot to even consider trying it."

"Well, we both hate it but it's what we have to do."

"And it's only for a few more months, right? Adam told me you were going to the same university as Eli."

"Yeah, thankfully. So Adam's told me that you're in a band," she said, wanting to get off this subject.

"Yeah," she answered.

"What's that like?"

"It's a lot of work but it's a lot of fun," she answered. "But I think I'm going to go solo eventually; there's too much drama and fighting in a band sometimes."

"But wouldn't they fall apart without you? Adam's told me that you write the lyrics."

"Well, our lead singer is finally starting to learn," she explained. "Besides, they're good enough to be an instrumental group if they wanted. But I would rather strum on my guitar and write lyrics and perform in a coffee shop than be in front of a big crowd on stage."

"Then why did you join the band?"

Nat released a sigh and shrugged.

"I needed a change; my last year of high school was miserable because of my boyfriend and I was always upset about something or other. When it was time for university, I was single and was ready to do something crazy to get out of my shell. My cousin was getting a band together and she knew I could play guitar and write songs, so they asked me if I wanted in and since then I've been with Opposing Gravity."

"How long do you think you're going to stick with it?"

"I don't know; maybe until the end of the spring so I can get a better job over the summer and work on my own music."

"That's going to be a bittersweet moment when you do leave."

"Yeah . . . but on the plus side, thanks to Adam I'm writing a lot of upbeat songs that the band loves to play."

Clare smiled and let out a soft chuckle, pleased that Adam brought this to her life.

"Having some bonding time, ladies?" the voice of Clare's boyfriend asked. The girls turned their heads and saw Eli and Adam, both of them holding drinks in their hands.

"We're just getting to know each other," Nat clarified.

"Great," Adam said. "We figured we would get you two from refreshments."

"Thank you," Nat said as the two of them sat back down and gave their girlfriends their drinks.

"Our guys: complete gentlemen," Clare proclaimed.

"They are," Nat agreed, resting her head on Adam's shoulder.

"I feel so loved," Eli said theatrically.

"So how did your game go?" Clare asked.

"Let's not talk about that . . ." Adam began.

"I was victorious!" Eli announced.

"No one likes a bragger, Eli," Adam said, rolling his eyes.

"You're just jealous that I'm a pool shark . . . plus you taking glances at Nat every three seconds played to my advantage."

At those words, Nat's face turned a bright pink and turned her head down to hide it.

"Like you didn't take glances at Clare," he said, crossing his arms.

"Oh I did, but I waited until my turn was over," he mentioned.

Clare grinned at the boys and their lovesick ways before looking around to see if there was anyone else she knew who came to celebrate the New Year. When she faced the entrance, she saw a familiar face and she grinned.

"Hey, there's Alli," Clare informed them.

"I didn't know she would be here," Adam said.

"Neither did I," Clare said. "Alli!"

Alli heard her name and noticed Clare waving her over; grinning, she walked over to the table to see her best friend, the two guys she had not seen in a while, and the face of complete stranger.

"Hey guys," she greeted seconds later.

"Hey," Eli replied casually. "Long time no see."

"Nat, this is my best friend Alli," Clare introduced. "Alli, this is Adam's girlfriend."

"Hi," Alli said brightly.

"Hi," Nat replied hesitantly. "So . . . is it just you here or . . .?"

"I'm waiting for my boyfriend," she explained. "He should be here any minute now."

"Well, you can hang out with us until he gets here," Eli invited. "Pull up a seat."

"Thanks," she said, taking a seat that was at the end between Eli and Adam.

"So how are things going between you and Dave anyway?" Adam asked.

"Pretty good."

Eli and Clare looked at each other, both of them relieved to see how neither of them was acting strange around each other despite being the other's ex; they were friendly, they were not awkward with each other, and it was clear that they had both moved on and were content with it.

"So how do you two know each other?" Alli asked Nat and Adam.

"We both go to Trent," she stated. "We've been friends for a few months and now we're together."

"Great," Alli said. "You're going out with a cool guy."

"Yeah, I know," Nat replied hurriedly, moving closer to Adam and holding his arm. "And how long have you and your boyfriend been together?"

"A couple of months," Alli answered.

"Hmm" was Nat's only response.

"Okay . . . so you guys excited about the New Year?" Alli asked to change the subject.

"I am," Clare answered. "That means it's getting closer to graduation."

"And that means you'll be leaving Toronto to join Eli in Ottawa."

"Hopefully," she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked her.

"I still have to get accepted," she said in a voice that was reassuring to him.

"Oh come on," Alli commented. "You're Clare Edwards; you can get accepted anywhere you want."

"Even if your choice is where this guy is," Adam jested, pointing his thumb at Eli.

"You make it sound like such a bad thing," Eli remarked.

Clare smiled before taking Eli's hand looking at him.

"Well, I'm looking forward to going to Ottawa to get my education _and_ to be with you."

"And the love continues," he said with a grin before giving Clare a quick kiss on the lips.

"Where are you thinking about going, Alli?" Nat then asked with great interest.

"I'm still deciding. At first I wanted to go to TU or Brampton, but now that I'm looking at more universities."

"How many more?" she interrogated.

"Um . . . twenty-five or thirty," Alli estimated.

"That's a lot to choose from," Clare stated with a bit of shock.

"I need as many options as possible to know which one is right for me," she told her.

"And . . . is Trent on that list?" Nat asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I've read that it has a good science course . . . or at least I think that's –."

"Hey, Adam, want to go dance?" Nat interrupted.

"Um . . . sure, let's go," he agreed.

Looking relieved, Nat took his hand and led him to the dance floor. They left Clare, Eli, and Alli behind, each of them as confused as the other; they watched the couple go and start to dance with a furrowed brow or a shocked expression before they focused their attention back on their table.

"She seems . . . nice," Alli spoke.

"Yeah," Eli answered slowly.

The three of them sat there, not quite sure what to say to each other. They were all too taken aback by Nat's behavior to form many words plus they were not certain how to react.

"Uh . . . I'm going to go see if Dave's here yet," Alli told them after a period of silence. "I'll see you guys around."

"See ya," Eli said as she rose from her seat.

"Bye," Clare replied before Alli disappeared into the crowd; once she was out of earshot, Clare turned back to Eli.

"So what do you really think of Nat?" he asked before she had the chance.

"I'm not so sure. What about you?"

"I think she's a good person . . . but I think she feels threatened by Alli."

"Not just Alli," she muttered.

"What do you mean?"

Before Clare could answer, Nat and Adam returned to the table; both of them were smiling and continued to hold hands as they sat back down.

"That was fun," she exclaimed.

"Where did Alli go?" Adam asked.

"She went to find Dave," Eli answered.

"Oh, left us so soon," Nat commented. "That sucks."

"Yeah, well . . ." Clare said, trying to keep herself from saying anything.

The next half hour consisted of Eli and Clare sitting across the table from Adam and Nat, trying their best not to notice just how engrossed Nat was with her boyfriend; they were trying not to judge since they were only dating a few weeks but the way she kept questioning Alli and the random proposal to dance would not leave their minds. After they had been sitting there for half an hour, Nat pulled her phone out of her pocket to see it lighting up and ringing.

"It's my mom; I'd better take this," she said, standing up. "I'll be right back."

"We'll be here," Adam told her before she gave him a grin and walked towards the exit so she could answer her phone in an environment that was not so loud. Smiling, Adam turned back to Eli and Clare. "Isn't she great?"

Smiling, Adam turned back to Eli and Clare. "Isn't she great?"

"Yeah . . . uh . . . she's pretty cool," Eli reluctantly agreed.

"What do you think, Clare?"

"She . . . really cares about you," she said with as much apprehension as her boyfriend.

Adam may not have been with Eli and Clare all the time like he used to be when they all still lived in Toronto, but he was still able to sense when they were not being completely honest.

"You don't like her."

"It's not that we don't like her," Clare said. "She's just . . ."

"She's very protective and kind of clingy," Eli summarized.

"What?"

"Come on, did you notice how weird she's acting around Alli? I mean . . . ever since she sat down Nat has been shooting daggers at her. And what was with all the questions about Dave and university?"

"She's interested in people."

"Adam, she did the same thing to me," Clare started. "She asked me about how Eli and I are doing _and_ if I have ever had feelings for you."

"So?"

"So don't you think she's a bit too concerned about who your female friends are?" Eli inquired.

"Come on," he sighed in exasperation.

"Open your eyes!" Eli instructed. "She's given Clare and Alli the third degree to find out if they are close to you and eventually steal you away from her."

"What? That's crazy."

"Is it?" Clare said. "She basically dragged you away from the table when Alli said Trent was an option for university."

"She . . . she's just . . . okay, maybe she is a little clingy, but she just has some trust issues; she's going to be a bit protective."

"But shouldn't she trust you enough to not be threatened by other girls? Especially girls who are in relationships?" Eli asked.

"That's just the way she is, okay?"

"Honestly, I can understand why she would be that way with Alli because she's your ex, but with Clare –."

"_What_?"

The three of them turned their heads and saw Nat, her eyes wide and her expression outraged along with hurt. Adam felt his stomach drop and his heart begin to race while Eli and Clare sat there, not sure how to react. Eli felt guilt for speaking, for he did not know that Nat was unaware of Adam and Alli's brief history; Clare, on the other hand, wondered why Adam did not say anything in the first place.

"Nat –."

"You went out with Alli and you're still friends with her?"

"We're not . . . we're just . . ." Adam said, too taken aback by her sudden discovery to string more than two words together.

"You dated Alli, you're still friends, and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't . . ."

"You know, I think I'm going to go back to my aunt's," Nat said, ready to turn away.

"No Nat, please," Adam spoke; he stood up and took her hand, but she jerked it away. She crossed her arms and stared at him, waiting for an explanation. Hoping that this would not end in disaster, Adam inhaled and looked directly at his girlfriend. "Alli and I were together for a little while, but it wasn't meant to be, and now we're just friends. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?" she repeated. "Adam, this girl could still have feelings for you!"

"No, she doesn't," Clare stated. "She broke up with Adam and now she's with someone else now and she's happy."

"Wait . . . so _she_ broke up with you?" she repeated.

"Yes, and now she's with someone else and I'm with you and I'm happy," Adam said.

"If she broke up with you that must mean that you still had feelings for her afterwards."

"What?"

"And that could mean that you still have feelings for her!"

Adam let out a forceful laugh.

"I don't have feelings for Alli!"

"You did once! And that means that those feelings could come back!"

"Nat," Eli interrupted. "Adam has talked about _nothing _but you since he got here; trust me, he does not have any more feelings for Alli."

"Sure, not right now! But maybe in the future!" she yelled.

"That's _not_ going to happen," Adam said. "I'm with you right now and I'm really, _really_ happy about that."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"I just . . . I didn't think it was a big deal. We just went out over the summer and it was nothing serious."

"It must have been if you kept it secret from me!"

"I wasn't keeping it from you! I just didn't think it was important!"

"It _is_ important, Adam!"

"Look, it was just a summer romance!" Adam tried to reason with her.

"You never told me about her!"

"So? Do you tell me about all of your exes?"

"Yes! And I also would have told you if I was still close with one of them!"

"We're not that close! We text and call every once in a while! It's nothing major!"

"But you're still friends with her!"

"That doesn't mean I like her more than that!"

"You could start liking her again though!"

"No, I won't!"

"How do you know?"

"I just know!"

"What if you and I have a fight and you call her? You two could start talking and she could convince us to break up and get back together with you!"

"Hold on a second!" Clare interjected, rising from her seat and Eli joining her just in case this got out of hand. "Alli may be his ex-girlfriend, but that doesn't mean she's going to come between you two!"

"Plus _she_ broke up with _me_," Adam reminded her before Clare got more involved.

"That doesn't mean anything! She could think that she made a mistake and try to get you back!"

"No, she won't," Eli stated. "Besides, she's dating someone she really likes."

"And what if they break up?" she demanded. "What if that happens and you realize you would rather be with her?"

"That's not going to happen," Adam said. "You have to trust me."

"How can I? You're going to be here in the same city as her for another two weeks after I go back! How can you expect me to feel comfortable about that when I don't know what can happen?"

Adam stood there and rubbed the back of his neck, thinking of a way to solve this problem. Eli and Clare simply stood there, unsure of what to say or do without getting deeply involved where it was not necessarily their business. They watched Adam let out a sigh before putting his hand back to his side and looking directly at Nat.

"How about this?" he began. "When you go back on Friday, I'll go with you."

"R-Really?" she said.

"Yes, really," he confirmed.

"So . . . we're going back to Trent together?"

"If it will make you feel better, then yes."

"Adam . . ." she said in awe.

"But I need you to trust me, okay? You're the only girl I want to be with and no other female friends of mine are going to change that."

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart," he said.

"Okay," she said softly.

Adam pulled her into a hug and gave her a kiss on the cheek; they were both grinning as they held each other in their arms. Eli and Clare looked at each other, both of them equally unsure as to what they could say or do. The couple soon leaned out the hug and allowed their foreheads to meet.

"What do you say that we go back to my place and watch a movie or two?"

"I'd like that," she agreed.

Grinning, they unwound their arms from each other until Adam had an arm around Nat's shoulders.

"I'll see you guys some time before I go," he said to Eli and Clare.

"Okay," Eli responded.

"We'll see you guys later," he said as he and Nat began to turn away.

"It was nice meeting you both," Nat said.

"You too," Eli said as he and Clare sat back down at the table.

Clare resisted the impulse to roll her eyes until Adam and Nat were out of her sight; once she was certain they were gone, she let her eyeballs go in a circle before sharply exhaling.

"Are you okay?" Eli asked, noticing her expression.

She shook her head in small motions before taking a sip of her drink before facing Eli.

"He can't just go back to university because _she's _freaking out."

"I don't know," Eli disagreed. "He wants her to be happy."

"But why should her being happy take away from the time he could be spending with his family and friends here? His life doesn't revolve around her!"

"Keep in mind that they have only been dating a few weeks; all my thoughts revolved around you when we first got together."

"Point taken, but she the fact that she doesn't trust Adam enough annoys me."

"Again, they haven't been dating that long."

"I trusted you."

"Okay, but they're not us _and_ we were best friends before we got together."

Clare sighed, not sure what to make of this situation. She wanted to be annoyed at Nat since she did not have enough faith in one of her best friends, yet she could not help but see a reflection of someone else within her.

"Was I like that when Kate was around?"

"Well . . . maybe a little," he admitted. "But you were right to be; Nat's just being overly paranoid."

"Overly paranoid?" Clare repeated. "Two seconds ago you were supporting her and now you're calling her overly paranoid?"

"I'm supporting _Adam_," he emphasized. "And I am sure that everything is going to come together sooner or later."

"How do you think that's going to happen?"

"He's either going to break up with her or she's eventually going to learn to trust him."

"For Adam's sake I hope it's the latter."

"So do I," Eli agreed. "But, for the time being, I think what he's doing is kind of nice."

"You think?" she said.

"Yeah," he said. "She's upset, she's a bit scared, and now he's trying to make her feel better by being with her."

Clare had to admit that it was considerate of Adam yet she could not fight the mild frustration that was within her.

"Maybe he is being sweet and that's great, but he can't just run away with her every time she's worried about another girl; they'll never work if that happens."

"Give them time, Clare; this will all work itself out."

"I hope so; I don't want him to get into another romantic rut."

"That makes two of us; but he'll be okay."

"You think so?"

"I know so. Remember that this is _Adam_. He may have caught the love bug but he's still Adam; he knows that trust is important and he's going to tell her that she has to trust him in order for them to work."

Clare gave herself a minute to reflect on Eli's words. He was right, of course; when all was said and done, Adam was still the logical optimist who understood that everything good in this world does not come to someone without effort and challenges. She felt comfort at this realization and now she only hoped for Adam and Nat to reach an understanding.

"That makes me feel a bit better."

Eli grinned at her taking her hand and kissing her temple.

"Want me to get us something to eat?"

She nodded, her stomach slowly beginning to churn with hunger.

"What do you want?" he asked, rising from his seat.

"I'll just have whatever you're getting."

"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes."

He gave her one more kiss on the head before leaving the table to go to the counter to get some food. Clare sat there by herself, exhaling and checking the clock on the wall that read eleven forty. She tried to get her mind off Adam by thinking of the year to come; she thought optimistically by reminding herself that she and Eli would be living together by this time next year while studying at Ottawa together.

"Hey," a male voice said to her.

Clare turned her head to see K.C standing there, his hands in his jacket pockets.

"Hey," Clare greeted with a grin. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I'd thought I'd stop by for a few minutes to see who's here. You here with Eli?"

"Yeah, he's getting us something to eat. So how were your holidays?"

"Not bad," he answered. "I'm just glad that this year is going to be over in twenty minutes."

"Amen to that," she said. "I want next year to be _so _much better than this year."

"Well, this one wasn't all bad. We became friends again; that was a good thing."

"True," she acknowledged. "I just want the New Year to be better for my relationship, you know?"

"I know how you feel," he empathized. "Fewer fights and more good memories."

"Exactly . . . plus I want to get done with long-distance."

"Don't worry, that will be ancient history soon enough."

"I wish it would hurry up," she admitted. "But he breaks for summer at the end of April so it's not like it will be too long of a wait."

"That's the spirit . . ."

As they continued to converse, Eli was ordering him and Clare some food. Although his best friend's romantic situation was still in the back of his mind, it was not his main focus right now. After this night he would only have another twenty days left in Toronto and he wanted them to be pleasant, especially since Clare would be going back to school in a week. He wanted tonight to be a good one and he hoped that he would be able to get her mind off Adam soon. He did understand her concern and he felt the same yet he wanted to enjoy the time he had left with her instead of dwelling on that together.

Needing to see Clare, he turned his head in the direction of their table. When he did, however, his heart turned to ice. He saw K.C talking to Clare – and Clare talking back to him – while both of them wore smiles on their faces. For reasons he could not explain, he did not know why he felt so much dread looking at them. Months before, Clare told him that she and K.C were nothing more than friends, that he was back with Jenna, and that she was not going to develop feelings for him; why he was so worried he could not comprehend, but he could not look at them much longer.

He quickly turned his head away from them and continued to wait for his order. He took a breath, trying to reassure himself that she wanted him to be the love in her life and nothing could change that. Unfortunately, he did not feel completely comfortable with the idea of Clare smiling with the person who she once dated. He trusted her and she may have assured him that they were only friends, but he did not know what kind of person K.C was and he did not want to risk him crossing any lines. He wanted to run over there now and tell K.C to leave; he fought his temptations, for he was certain that Clare would not appreciate him interrupting their conversation while she thought he was okay with this.

Trying to keep his emotions from raging for no good reason, Eli inhaled and exhaled as he waited for their food. He kept his eyes focused on his feet and attempted to think of something other than Clare talking to K.C right across the room; but he could not take it and he would look back in their direction to see them continuing to talk without noticing him. He hated himself for doing so for he knew there was nothing to worry about and he did not want to let his uncertainty for K.C take over his feelings. Not wanting to become Nat and obsess over something so trivial, forced himself to keep looking away from them.

It was only after waiting for a few minutes when their food was ready and in his hands that he knew that he would have to turn around and possibly see Clare still talking to K.C. Taking a breath and telling himself there was nothing to worry about, Eli turned his body around to see Clare sitting alone at the table while observing what was around her. Relieved that K.C had left to prevent anything from happening that Clare would dislike, he walked back towards the table.

"Here we are," he said as he set the plates down on the table.

"Thanks," she said, her mouth watering at the sight of the food on her plate.

In reply, Eli smashed his lips to Clare's the second he was sitting in his chair. Surprised, Clare gasped against the kiss but soon relaxed into it as Eli fondled her lips and tongue with this own. She enjoyed how he was kissing her and was so mesmerized by it that she had to remind herself to breathe when he pulled his lips away from hers.

"Couldn't wait until midnight?" she remarked with a grin.

"I guess you could say that."

She nudged him playfully with her elbow before her focus turned to the food he brought for them; as they both ate, they exchanged smiles and brief conversations. They were soon done eating and their plates were put to the side, noticing on the clock that it was five minutes until midnight.

"Almost time for the New Year," Eli stated, he and Clare turning in their seats so their bodies were facing each other's.

"So it is. Got any New Year's resolutions?" she asked, playing with the end of his dark green tie with her left hand.

"Three, actually," he answered.

"Can I hear them?"

"Okay. The first one is to come back home more often."

"Can that really count as a New Year's resolution?"

"I think so. The second one is to be more optimistic and not worry so much about us."

"That's a good one," she approved. "What's your third one?"

Eli grinned at her before taking her hand from his tie and holding it; Clare grinned back at him when she saw the warmth in his eyes.

"To save enough money so we'll be able to rent an apartment in the fall."

Clare smiled at him lovingly and squeezed his hand.

"I think I have to add that to my list of resolutions too."

"And what else is on that list, Miss Edwards?"

"Well . . . to graduate, to save money . . . and to get into U of O so I can be with you."

Eli grinned at her, pleased and slightly appeased to hear her say this. When he heard her say that, K.C and any thoughts surrounding him disappeared from his mind. He had been with Clare for this long and they had gotten through the first half of their long-distance relationship; he was now confident that nothing could break them apart now.

"Those sound like good resolutions."

"Now we can help each other in keeping them."

He grinned in agreement before allowing himself to get lost in the midst of the moment; he relaxed his face and leaned towards her as though anticipating a kiss, wanting to enhance this feeling of love . . .

"Uh-uh," Clare warned as she covered his mouth with three of her fingers. "We still have two minutes until midnight."

Eli turned his eyes up to the ceiling in defeat; smiling, Clare lowered her fingers and rested her hand on his knee.

"Been a crazy year, hu?" she said.

"I'll say," Eli agreed. "Okay, year in review: what was one of your favorite memories of this year?"

"Um . . . I'm stuck between you asking me to marry you and the night we first . . . you know."

"Made love," he finished for her.

"Yeah," she said, her face turning red. "What about you?"

"Three-way tie between the ones you had and prom night."

Clare's face turned a bit red as she recalled prom and she bit on her bottom lip at the memory.

"Okay, least favorite part," he said.

"Another tie; you leaving for university, anything with Kate, and that time when Alyson was too involved in my life. You?"

"Definitely when you were in the hospital," he admitted.

Clare squeezed his hand to bring him back to the present before moving from her seat to his lap; she put one arm around his shoulders and smiled. He smiled back at her as he put an arm around her waist and locked both of his hands on her hip.

"Let's make this a great year for both of us," she told him.

"I'm in," he said.

"Ten seconds until midnight!" someone hollered.

Hearing that, they met each other's eyes and they both instantly understood that the year to come would hold so much for them . . . and their future.

"I love you," Eli said softly.

"I love you too."

"Five . . ." they counted down with the rest of the people. "Four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . ."

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" many cheered.

While others celebrated, Eli and Clare had slammed their lips together, kissing heatedly and lovingly. They teased each other's lips in the most endearing way imaginable, both of them ready for the year ahead of them with certainty that they would have each other through this one and the many more to come. Once some of the cheering had died down, they pulled apart and met each other's eyes, both of them still having the kiss on their minds.

"I think that's a great way to start out the year," Clare told him.

He put his lopsided smile on his face before sliding a single strand of hair behind her ear and then cupping her face.

"Happy New Year," he whispered before kissing her lips again.

* * *

"_This is New Year's Day_

_So rise from the ashes_

_Faith will find a way _

_Like lightning crashes_

_We'll keep marching on and on and on"_

_~"New Year's Day" by Black Veil Brides_

* * *

I call this chapter "The Chapter of Transition" or "The Chapter of the Beginning" with a bit of foreshadowing . . . you've been warned! MWHAHAHA! Review please!


	142. The Answer

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for the reviews! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't Degrassi. If I did, Toby Isaacs would have more storylines.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Forty-Two

The Answer

New Year's Day consisted of Eli and Clare spending the day together, trying their best to get this year off to the best start imaginable. They decided to do this together and they both decided that their first step was to sponge away any negativity that had transpired into this year. The only source that came to mind was Nat and how she did not seem to trust Adam enough to leave him alone in Toronto; Eli did not have this on his mind as much as Clare, who did not think it was just for someone to leave home on the account of a single person. As far as they knew, he was still planning on returning to Trent with Nat and would be traveling back with her family that Friday.

They called, texted, even went by his house and yet they were unable to get into any contact with him whatsoever. At first Clare suspected that Nat was forcing him to stay away from the two of them, but Eli convinced her that he was probably out with his family. Seeing this as a logical explanation – especially after going by his house and seeing that there was not a soul in sight – Clare relaxed and accepted that they would just have to talk to Adam before he left on Friday afternoon.

The day soon arrived and Eli and Clare went straight to Adam's house, hoping that they would be able to talk to him about Nat before she and her family picked him up. They arrived at the glass door and saw Adam standing by his couch, looking at his cell phone; not bothering to knock, they slid the door open and stepped into his house. He looked at them and smiled, sliding his cell phone in his pocket as he began to speak.

"I was just about to text you guys. You just missed the fam; they had to –."

"Adam, we need to talk to you," Clare said bluntly.

"Uh . . . what about?"

"Nat," Eli responded.

"Guys," Adam groaned. "Give her break; we just started dating and –."

"It doesn't make sense for her to be so worried about you being here," Clare stated. "She shouldn't just ask you to go back with her just because she's a bit paranoid."

"She didn't ask me; I offered."

"She just means that you wouldn't be leaving if it wasn't for her," Eli clarified.

"And what's wrong with that?"

"She doesn't trust you enough to be here without her because of Alli; it's not fair that you have to leave so soon because she has trust issues."

Adam bit the tip of his tongue to keep himself from snapping at Clare. He was a bit annoyed at her for speaking this when she went through a period of not trusting Eli, thus she did not have the right to accuse people for being foolish because of their own complications with confidence in other people. He inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his mouth before taking a moment to collect his thoughts; when he was finally able to find the appropriate words to speak, he faced Eli and Clare – especially Clare – with seriousness in his eyes.

"Listen . . . Nat has not had the best luck with boyfriends; all the ones she dated either cheated on her or made her miserable. I understand if she isn't completely comfortable with me being around other girls, especially my ex. It's going to take some time for her to trust me completely and I don't want to do anything to take us one step back instead of one step forward."

"Even if you have to leave your friends and family?" she remarked.

Adam shrugged.

"Wouldn't you two do the same for each other?"

Clare looked at her feet and Eli let out a breath, both of them knowing their answer but not wanting to admit it. Adam was right and they knew it would be pointless to mention that they had been together longer than he and Nat have; care was care no matter how long it existed.

"But you shouldn't just leave to make her happy."

"Clare, I'm not going just to make her happy; I'm also going to make myself happy."

"But . . ." Clare tried to find an argument, but no rejoinders came to her; Adam was able to have a reply to foil all of her points and she was disappointed in herself for not being able to come back with something that could inspire him to change his mind.

"Look, I love you guys, I love my family, and I love Toronto, but I really don't want to be away from Nat. She makes me happy and I've already gone a few of weeks without her; I don't want to go another two more. You two of all people should know what that's like."

Eli and Clare looked at each other, silently agreeing that they did know what that was like . . . too well, actually.

"I guess we're just not ready for you to leave yet," Eli stated.

"Well, I'd be in two places at once if I can," Adam admitted with a grin before looking directly at Clare. "So . . . are we okay?"

"Yeah," she said. "I just wish she was able to trust you completely, you know?"

"Don't worry," Adam assured her. "If anything else happens, I'll talk to her about it and we'll find a way to fix it. And, if things don't go as smooth as I like, I can always call the experts."

"Experts?" Eli echoed. "I like the sound of that."

Clare let out a small laugh as Adam rolled his eyes with a grin.

_Honk! Honk!_

A car horn interrupted their happiness, reminding them that their time together was about to end.

"That's Nat's family," he told them as he picked his bag off the ground. "I should get out there."

"Have a safe trip," Clare said before giving Adam a friendly hug.

"I'll see you soon," he said to her.

Clare slowly released him, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes. She watched as the boys gave each other a brief hug before looking at the ground, the sight before her breaking her heart.

"Come down to Trent sometime if you're ever on your way here," Adam said to Eli.

"Will do," he promised.

Once that farewell was over, Clare looked back up at Adam; with a final smile, he walked towards the door with his bag over his shoulder.

"You lovebirds stay out of trouble."

"We should be telling you the same thing," Eli retorted.

The trio all exchanged smiles and Eli and Clare waved at Adam and he waved back before exiting the house . . .

()()

Both of them were missing Adam greatly by the time the weekend came to a close; although they all had a decent break from school, it seemed that they did not spend much time together. They both felt guilty about not making a greater effort and came to an agreement to find a way to visit him in Trent sometime soon.

On top of this, they were administered another dose of misery when Clare had to return to school that Monday. Eli drove her to Degrassi, but was very crestfallen to watch her leave and not see her for hours. Now that school was back in session, his time with her would be limited again since she would have to worry about her education along with working at the Dot. He calculated the time he would have with her during Monday through Thursdays and they would only have a maximum of four hours together if Helen allowed him to stay until ten thirty. This did not seem like enough time and so they would have to make up for it on the final two weekends he would have here.

It was now Tuesday evening and the two of them went straight to Clare's house after she got off work; Clare passed on eating dinner since she had homework and Eli decided to wait and eat when he got home just so he could be with his girlfriend for as long as possible without any interruptions or distractions.

They were now in her room. Clare sat at her desk, working on her AP English homework as Eli sat on her bed; he was reading over a story she had completed a couple of days before he came back for break so he would have something to do while she worked.

"How's it going over there?" he asked her after they worked in silence for fifteen minutes.

"I'm halfway done," she informed him, rubbing her eyes. "Dawes didn't go easy on us on the second day back."

"It is AP; it's probably going to be the same for me when I go back."

"Don't remind me," she said, wanting to forget that Eli would be back in Ottawa in a bit more than two weeks.

She finished up the question she was answering before looking at the next one; she furrowed her brow at first, not certain how to answer it. Only after rereading it five times with an analytical mind was she able to comprehend it. Unfortunately, understanding the question only contributed slightly to the ease of _answering_ it. She put her pencil to the paper and wrote . . . and then erased . . . wrote . . . erased . . . wrote . . . erased . . .

This cycle repeated itself over and over until Clare had no choice but to rest her brain for a moment. Frustrated at how this single question became so much of a nuisance to her, she let out an aggravated groan.

"Getting stressed out?" she heard Eli ask.

"A little," she admitted.

"Anything I can help you with?"

"No, it has to all come from my head."

"But great minds think alike, so anything that comes from my head will technically come from your head too."

Clare turned around in her chair and stuck her tongue out at him.

"I don't think Dawes will buy that logic; besides, she knows you and she'll know if you gave me answers."

"Will she really?" he asked. "I _have_ been out of Degrassi for over half a year."

"But she had you for two years."

"Must you have a response for _everything_?" he remarked.

Clare grinned and rolled her eyes before turning back to her work.

"You just keep reading and I'll keep working."

"Fine," he accepted with a light groan.

For the next few minutes, Eli kept reading like she requested; it was only when he heard her let out a hushed groan for the fifth time in ten minutes that he decided to rip his eyes away from the story and to his girlfriend.

"Need anything?" he asked her.

"No, I'm fine."

Shaking his head at her stubborn disposition, Eli put her notebook on her bedside table and got off her bed. He walked towards her, knelt down behind her, and wrapped his arms around her middle before putting his lips on her neck.

"Not even a little massage?" he asked her.

"Hmm," she hummed at both his lips and his invitation. "That actually sounds really good right now . . ."

He smiled against her neck as he let one of his hands smooth over her side.

"How about you take a break and then I can give you one?"

Clare rolled her lips before looking back down at her paper, knowing that she would not be able to get herself to work again if she stopped now. She let out a breath prior to allowing herself to meet her boyfriend's persuasive eyes.

"I should be done in ten minutes," she said to him. "Will your offer still be open then?"

Eli, understanding how she would rather get her work done now rather than later, gave her a brief kiss in reply before unraveling his arms from her and journeying back to her bed. He resumed reading her work as she continued doing her English; he heard her pencil scratching against paper as she forced herself to get this done. She was doing her best, but it was getting late and she was exhausted, which caused her mind to not exactly function to its greatest ability. She slaved over her work for several minutes, determined to make it sound like she had put more effort into it than she actually was.

"Okay . . . done," she declared, throwing down her pencil at the end of the ten minutes.

"Alright," Eli said, putting her notebook back to the side.

Clare stood from her chair and traveled to her bed, where Eli was leaning against the headboard. She arrived at the bed and immediately collapsed onto it; she was lying on her stomach as she turned her head in Eli's direction, closing her eyes once she was comfortable.

"Still want that massage?" he offered.

"Please," she pleaded, wanting nothing more than for her muscles to lose all their tension.

"Alright then, Miss Edwards," he said, rubbing his hands together before sitting crossed legged in the middle of her bed. "Now relax . . ."

He put his hands on her shoulders, softly kneading them to help her tense muscles; he heard her sigh as the strain in her shoulders and neck began to diminish.

"How's that?" he asked her.

"Amazing," she answered. "Keep going."

He leaned down and kissed her temple before continuing, wanting to give her the peace of mind she needed right now. He kept working her muscles and listening to her breaths; this was the first time all day he had seen her so content and he was glad that she could finally let her worries and stress melt away for a while.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better now," she said softly.

"Good," he grinned. "But I know something else that might be able to help."

"Oh yeah?" she responded, intrigued by what he could possibly be thinking.

"Yeah," he said. "Interested?"

"Very," she replied.

"Then I need you to lie on your back."

Clare complied and rolled over until she was resting on her back and looking up at Eli. The upper half of his body hovered over her while his legs and hips rested on her bed; he put his hands on her shoulders before placing his lips on her neck. Clare gasped, chills going through her body as he kissed her sweetly; her toes curled when she felt the tip of his tongue graze her skin and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from releasing a loud moan.

"Helping?" he asked her.

"Yes," she breathed. "Don't stop."

"If you insist," he muttered against her skin.

And so Eli moved his lips over her neck, kissing it from the pulse to the crook. He started by putting light kisses on her before planting open-mouth ones; they were so incredible that Clare's only had to resort to inhaling and exhaling repeatedly to prevent herself from being too loud. The longer he kissed her, the more relaxed she felt. Every caress his lips made caused more of her stress to melt away; it was soothing yet sensual enough to keep her heart alive.

"Eli," she moaned whenever he kissed the spot on her neck that always caused her to shiver. He smiled against her skin before continuing to kiss it and occasionally giving it a gentle bite. She held back a squeal every time he did, wishing that Helen was out so she did not have to be quiet.

Minutes passed by and Clare was soon perfectly relaxed, but she was also getting quiet. When Eli began to notice that she was not moaning so much, he took it as a sign to stop; he gently pulled his lips away from her neck before resting on his side. He looked at Clare and saw her open her eyes, a grin coming on her face.

"Thanks," she said to him. "I needed that."

"You're welcome," Eli said.

Clare gave him a small smile before letting out a yawn and turning on her side; her forehead met Eli's sternum and he put his arm around her waist before rubbing his hand in a circular motion on her back.

"Want to get some sleep?"

"Hmm . . . I think I should; it's been a long day."

"Okay," he said with comprehension. "Want me to drive you to school tomorrow?"

"Please?" she said, looking at him with tired eyes.

"Alright," he said before kissing her forehead. He sat up on the edge of her bed as she continued to lie on it, clearly too tired to move.

"Thanks for the massage and everything," she told him.

"Anytime," he replied as he pulled his boots onto his feet.

"And . . ." She paused to release another yawn before turning on her back so he was in her sight. "Sorry it wasn't exactly a fun night."

"I had a nice time," he assured her. "By the way, your story was really good."

"Thanks," she grinned, too exhausted to say anymore on the subject.

"Well, I'll let you get your rest. See you tomorrow," he said before leaning down to kiss her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

()()

Eli kept his word to Clare and drove her to Degrassi the following day; they conversed the entire ride there since they did not have a great opportunity to yesterday and wanted to make up for that. To their dismay, the drive did not take very long and they were forced to say goodbye again. Eli left once Clare was inside the school and he drove back home, not in the mood to do anything else. Within minutes, he was stepping into the house before deciding to go into the kitchen and get himself some breakfast.

"Hey," he greeted CeCe as he saw her sitting at the breakfast table.

"Hey," she replied, looking up from her cereal. "How's Clare this morning?"

"Fine," he answered, rummaging the cabinets for a bowl and for a box of cereal.

"Just fine?" she said, furrowing her brow.  
"Yeah," he said, preparing his breakfast. "Why?"

"I don't know. You just don't usually give me fine for an answer after you drop her off."

"Eh, I guess I'm not really in a talkative mood this morning."

"I see. So do you have any plans for today?"

"Not really," he said, putting away the milk that he had recently used. "I'll probably just watch a movie or something; maybe call some of my friends from school and see how they've been."

"Okay," CeCe said as Eli took a seat at the table. "Speaking of school, are you looking forward to going back?"

Eli shrugged, keeping his eyes on his breakfast.

"I don't really know."

"Do you miss any of your friends?"

"Yeah, but . . . I don't miss so much that I want to rush back up there and be with them; in all honesty I wouldn't mind being here for a bit longer."

"You still have some time left here," she reminded him in the most optimistic way possible. "Just make the most of it."

"I want to, but . . . Clare's now back at school and . . ."

He trailed off, not wanting to think about how his time with his girlfriend had become so limited again.

"Ah . . . I see where you're coming from now: she's not with you during the day and you can't be with her."

"Yeah," he sighed. He had learned from the past two days that the hours without Clare would go by horribly slow, especially since Adam was not in Toronto anymore and there was not much for him to do while CeCe and Bullfrog were at the station. "Then she has work after school and then she has homework; I don't think we're going to be able to do much more with her until I come back to visit."

"You still have two weekends left," she reminded him. "You'll have time to be together then."

"I hope so. It's just . . . these six weeks went by so fast and it feels like the two of us have barely done anything."

"That's not true," she said.

"It feels that way. Over the summer we did a lot over six weeks, but now it feels like we haven't done that much."

"What are you talking about? You two have been seeing each other every day since the New Year."

"Yeah, but we don't do much. We just talk a little, lie around, and relax or watch movies or something; we haven't really gone on many dates since I've been back and I don't want to deprive her of that now since we can't go on one while I'm away."

"It may be nice for the two of you to go on dates and do things every day, but I'm sure that Clare enjoys the simple moments just as much."

"I know that she does," Eli informed her. "That's what's so great about her; she doesn't _need_ to be taken out all the time to be happy. She appreciates the little things."

"Then what's the problem with you two doing just doing those things together?"

"I don't know . . . I just wanted to give her more memories, that's all."

"But I think she is perfectly happy with you being here and that you two can be happy in each other's company."

"She is," Eli said, recalling all the times he saw pure happiness in her eyes when he was simply holding her in his arms. "And that's something else that is great about her."

"And I'm sure she would not want you to feel this way while you're here; if she's happy just being with you, then maybe you should feel the same and not worry about what you two haven't done."

Eli inhaled and exhaled, knowing that his mother was right and he should be thankful for how he was spending time with her now.

"I'm just going to miss her so much when I'm gone."

"I know you are."

"But I'm going to miss you and Bullfrog too," he said hurriedly. "I just –."

"Baby boy, I know. She's that special girl."

"Yeah," he agreed. "That's why it's really going to suck when I have to go back."

"It's only for a few more months," CeCe reminded him. "Then the worst is over."

"I hope you're right . . ."

Eli went back to his room after breakfast to think for hours on end before going back to Degrassi to pick up Clare; they would then go get an early dinner and go to their special place until she had to go to work. Eli would stay at the Dot, talking to her whenever she was able to spare a moment; afterwards, they would go back to Clare's where she would do homework or study with some assistance from him.

This is the way it was almost every day for the next week. Whenever he was alone, Eli spent the majority of his time his room, dwelling on how little time he had left in Toronto. By the twentieth of January, he would be traveling back to Ottawa and would be resorted to only talking to Clare through cell phone or computer. He hated thinking of it, especially now that he knew what to expect; he would not kiss her, caress her skin, smell her hair, or hold her until a visit. He would have to rely on his memories, technology, a few pictures, and a vial of blood to keep himself at peace with the otherwise cruel world around him.

Eli was aware that he was allowing his mind to wander into this terrain of negativity and it was unhealthy for his already tortured mind, but he could not evade the truth. He tried to remind himself that it would only be three more months and then he would have a brief break in the summer; during that time, Clare would graduate and the two of them would be able to pack her stuff and then they would go to Ottawa together.

But no matter how joyful the future seemed to be in his mind, he would still have to endure the time away from her. It was going to be hard now that she was preparing to be focusing on nothing but university and the two of them would have exams to be concerned about; this would leave them with very little time to talk and he did not want to imagine going days without hearing her voice like he had to a few times before.

After thinking about all of these thoughts every day for hours, three o'clock always came and he and Clare would be in each other's company again. He tried to be more like her and cherish the feeling of them simply being together instead of worrying about how they have not been going on many dates. He learned to accept it, and seeing her joyful eyes was always a friendly reminder.

". . . And homework is done," she declared on his final Wednesday in Toronto.

"At last," he said, putting his book to the side as Clare put her homework in her bag and her bag on the ground. They had decided to change up their routine and go to his house; they did the same as they have done at Clare's house, but she always managed to get her homework done faster at his. The two of them had been sitting on his bed for at twenty minutes and now they were finally able to enjoy it.

"So . . . I have this idea since it's your last weekend here," she began as they lied on their sides.

"Yeah?" he said, interested. Clare took his hand and twined their fingers together while giving him a smile.

"What if you and I go somewhere special, quiet, and private and spend the night there?"

"That sounds incredible," he admitted instantly, wanting to escape the world with Clare. "Should we go to a hotel or something?"

"We can," she agreed. "We can both chip in to spend a night there and just be together."

"I like the sound of that except for the both of us chipping in part; I'll pay."

"It could cost a lot; we can go half-and-half."

"It won't be too bad; I'll take care of it."

"Eli –."

"Nah-uh," he warned. "I haven't taken you out in a while and so it's only fair that I pay for this."

Clare let out a huff in defeat, knowing that Eli would stay firm about this.

"Always the gentleman," she sighed.

"I thought you loved that about me," he jested.

"I do. Fine, but let me pay for the gas money at least."

"I'm sorry, Clare, I'm afraid I can't do that."

She let out a breath of air, not quite sure how to feel about her boyfriend so resolute.

"Can you just not be chivalrous for once in your life?"

Eli sat there and hummed, feigning thought.

"No, I can't say I can."

Clare smiled before sighing "fine" and scooting closer to him; she released his hand and put an arm around his torso and he rested his hand on her hip.

"So how about you pick me up from school on Friday, I go by my house to get a few things, then you and I drive, go get some dinner, then go to a hotel?"

"Sounds like a plan to me," he approved. "But there is just one problem?"

"What?" she asked, her stomach dropping.

"What about your parents?"

"Leave that to me."

Eli grinned at her, having no doubt that she would find a way for them to get away. He smiled at her, pleased that they had this chance to be together; this would be the perfect time to create the memories he wanted for Clare. He could only imagine the time they could have alone in a hotel room, away from everyone and only focus on themselves. The smile on his face grew wider before putting his lips to Clare's, passionately kissing her with great pleasure as excitement coursed through his veins. After caressing her lips with his for a few more seconds, he slowly ended the kiss and met her beautiful eyes.

"I'm really looking forward to this Friday."

"Me too," she smiled before meeting his lips again.

* * *

"_From ocean to sky, summer and fall_

_I have been there through it all_

_From laughing and crying to pain that comes easy_

_From shades of grey meaning that turn out so sweetly"_

_~"The Answer" by Automatic Loveletter_

* * *

A bit of a filler and definitely not my greatest chapter, but I promise that the next chapter will make up for it!

Look for an update on the second anniversary of this fic! Review please!


	143. Ride

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Everyone, this fic has been on FFN for two years now! All I can say is that I really appreciate the support you guys are still giving it. The past year has been full of ups and downs for me as a person and a writer and I can't thank you guys enough for the support. Many of the readers who were reading this fic at this time last year have stopped reading, so that makes me appreciate those of you who are still reading whether it be just one reader or a hundred. Thank you everyone. Thanks for reading the early chapters that were written by the 15 year old me and for continuing to read the chapters of the now 17 year old me. Thanks for reading the chapters that made you laugh, cry, go nuts over, and for just gritting your teeth and reading the chapters that were boring or simply sucked. You guys are the best and I love you all! I hope you guys stick around for what is to come. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I . . . don't . . . own . . . D . . . E . . . G . . . R . . . A . . . S . . . S . . . I.

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Forty-Three

Ride

"Good morning, mademoiselle," Eli greeted her on Friday morning as she exited her house.

"Good morning, monsieur," she replied before giving him a kiss.

Eli wrapped his arm around Clare's waist and she did the same to him while they walked towards Morty.

"Ready for tonight?" he asked her.

"Yes," she said with a smile. "And I told my mom I'll be at your house tonight so we shouldn't have anything to worry about."

"And that means no interruptions."

"Thankfully," she grinned at him, not wanting to be any intrusions on this night.

They arrived at Morty and Eli opened the door for Clare; she gave him a peck on the lips in thanks before climbing in. Eli was sitting in the driver's seat seconds later and they were soon driving down the street.

"So . . . where do you think we should go?" she asked him.

"I was actually thinking about that last night and I looked online for a place."

"And . . .?"

"I may have found a nice little hotel not too far from here that is in my price range."

"That sounds great," she smiled. "Are you _sure_ you don't want us to go half-and-half?"

"And have my girl pay? Wouldn't dream of it."

Clare grinned, actually appreciating how much of a gentleman he was being . . . not that she expected anything less.

"Besides," he continued, "the important thing is that it's just going to be you and me away from the world."

"That's what I've been looking forward to," she said. "Me and you, no school, no stress; just us."

Eli, who was determined for this to become one of the best nights Clare would have while he was here, wanted to protect her from the negativity she mentioned. This night was to be about them and nothing else and he did not want any emotional imposters to come in and bring her down while they alone.

"I have an idea: while we're there, we are not allowed to talk about me leaving, stress, or anything that can bring us down," he said to her directly. "We do _nothing_ but enjoy our time together and talk about good things."

"Brilliant," she agreed, not wanting to think of how he would be back in Ottawa by this time next week. They made small talk as Eli drove down the road and they arrived at Degrassi within a matter of minutes.

"Alright," he said, stopping at the front of the school. "I'll see you soon."

Instead of responding, Clare kissed him; as she did, she teased his tongue with hers, subtly making him aware of what was to come tonight. Eli got the message loud and clear and put more love into the kiss in response. She soon revoked her lips from his but did not move her face away just yet.

"See you at three," she whispered to him.

"I'll be here," he promised before giving her lips one final kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too."

She kept smiling at him as she climbed out of the hearse, giving him a small wave before journeying towards the school. He watched her as she went, wanting for the time to pass by as quickly as possible . . .

()()

Eli was restless all day. He would pace his room and check his clock consistently, wanting three o'clock to arrive so he and Clare could just get away. When he eventually got bored moving around the same space, he moved to the living room, the kitchen, even the upstairs hallway before going back to the territory of his bedroom.

Whenever he was not pacing, he was sitting in his room going over everything he needed for the night and the next morning. He had packed all necessary toiletries, extra clothes for tomorrow, his cell phone, and his wallet. He contemplated going out to buy some candles and rose petals to make the atmosphere more romantic for them, but he decided against it since he did not want to overwhelm Clare or make it seem like he was pressuring her into doing anything. He wanted this night to be about them being together, whether were going to be intimate or not.

Not sure what to expect from this evening but looking forward to it nonetheless, Eli decided to just relax and listen to music for the rest of the day until it was time to pick up Clare. He grabbed his bag and car keys before leaving the house, trying his best to simply walk instead of sprinting. He also had to try not to speed all the way to Degrassi; he actually resorted to making sure that he remained ten miles under the speed limit so he would not have to worry about going over it. He had not experienced this much enthusiasm in a while and it was a struggle to keep it under control.

He got to the school ten minutes early and so he just listened to the radio, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel in anticipation as he kept his eyes on the building. Thankfully, the time passed by faster than he thought it would and he soon saw Clare exiting Degrassi with a smile. He noticed how she seemed to have difficulty keeping a casual rhythm as she moved; it was as though she desperately wanted to run to the hearse but did not want to draw attention to anything.

"Hey," she greeted when she was finally in Morty.

"Hey," he echoed. "Ready to go?"

"Yep," she answered with a smile. "I just have to grab some things from my house and we can get out of here."

()()

After only taking a maximum of five minutes to pack a bag, Clare returned to the hearse and the two of them began to drive. Butterflies were flying wildly in her stomach; this was all she had been thinking about for two days and now she was glad that they were finally going to a hotel. They were going out to dinner first just as they had planned, but she was more excited to get a room of their own so they could be together and have complete privacy.

They ate dinner at a diner that was not far from their destination; they talked about her day, which was a subject she did not say much on considering it was practically uneventful until now. They had small conversations about how they would have a great night and they reminded each other of their mutual agreement to focus on nothing but the good.

After they were done eating, they paid – at least Eli did – and went drove on to the hotel. It was five thirty by the time they got there and the sky was already turning dark. Eli parked Morty and turned off the engine before facing Clare, who was looking back at him.

"We're here," he stated the obvious. "If you'd rather go back home, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Clare smirked at him as she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door.

"Let's go," she said before climbing out of the hearse.

Eli grinned and followed suit, enchanted by her zeal. They both retrieved their bags and Eli made sure Morty was securely locked before they walked hand-in-hand towards the hotel.

They entered the hotel – which was called the Day and Night Hotel – and observed the lobby to get an idea as to what their stay could be like. It was not too fancy; it was one of the hotels that people stay for only one night but it was not a wreck or filthy. On the contrary, it had the feeling of home despite all the doors that lead to the many areas. They went towards the check-in desk and saw a middle-aged woman there with a smile plastered on her face.

"Welcome to the Day and Night Hotel. How may I help you?"

Eli checked them in while Clare stood there quietly, too thrilled about this to say anything. She tried to keep herself still as she stood by Eli as he paid and as the woman informed them of their checkout time and the free breakfast the hotel had. A minute later, she was giving them their room key along with another smile.

"Enjoy your stay," she told them.

"Thank you," they replied before making their way towards their room.

They made a journey down the hall, both of them trying to hold back their excitement until they were alone. Clare was definitely looking forward to their evening but she could not shake the uneasy feeling that was resting in her stomach; this was the first time she would be sharing a hotel room with a boy and she was not exactly certain as to how it would go. She had obviously spent many nights with Eli prior to this, but being in a hotel together was different. It had a mores of a scandalous appeal for reasons she could not piece together and she took a breath to assure herself that they were here to have some privacy.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, hearing her breathing.

"Yeah," she answered.

Eli did not question her any further and they only had to take a couple of more steps until they found their room.

"Here we are," Eli announced before swiping the card through the electronic lock and opening the door on the first try. "After you . . ."

Clare smiled at him before stepping into the room and Eli coming in after her. The room was a light blue, there was a large window that showed the street outside, there was a bathroom, a television, and two beds with a single nightstand in between.

"Is it safe for me to assume that one of these beds will be vacant tonight?" Eli asked, setting down his bag.

"Maybe . . ." she grinned at him teasingly. She put her bag down next to Eli's and slid off her shoes before walking to the closest bed and collapsing on it. She turned her head to him and patted the empty half of the mattress; smirking, Eli took off his boots and removed his jacket before tossing it on the unused bed. He joined her on the bed; both of them were lying on their backs and facing each other, grins on each of their faces.

"I'm enjoying this already."

Clare grinned in agreement before turning on her side.

"You know, this is the first time I'll be spending the night in a hotel with a guy."

"Yeah?" he remarked although he was not surprised.

"Mm-hmm," she said, sliding her hand onto his diaphragm. "So I'm glad I'm doing it with you right now."

Eli, who was also pleased about this, took Clare's hand and kissed it; he was not exactly certain where the evening would go from here, but he was perfectly fine just being with his girlfriend in this room.

"So . . . what do you want to do?"

"I don't know . . . like I said, I've never done this before."

"And you expect me to have the answers to everything," he concluded dramatically. "Okay . . . maybe we can see if there's a movie on or something and just relax for a bit."

"Alright," Clare accepted, knowing that they would probably not do much until nightfall. She did not mind though; she actually preferred that they could just lie together for now and do more later.

They lied there and watched a movie Eli found on the television; held Clare around the waist as she rested her head on his chest. He would occasionally kiss her and she would smile whenever he told her he loved her at random moments. This continued on for a couple of hours until the movie was over; when it was, Eli turned off the television and turned to Clare, who was grinning at him.

"I think I'm going to get changed real quick," she said to him.

"I'll be waiting," he replied before giving her a peck on the lips. She got out of bed and retrieved her bag before stepping into the bathroom, making sure to give Eli one final smile.

After lying on the bed for another minute or so, Eli decided that he might as well get changed too; he kicked off his socks and took off the necklace that contained the vial of Clare's blood before exchanging his jeans for sweatpants. Once he was comfortable, he closed the blinds of the window to seclude him and Clare from the rest of the world. He was about to go back to the bed when he heard the bathroom door open; he snapped his eyes to it and was instantly marveled by what she saw. Clare had stepped out of the bathroom, wearing the dark blue nightgown she wore during his first visit back home; it was the same spaghetti strapped, low cut garment she had before, and he was grateful that it allowed him to see the majority of her legs.

"Well hello," he greeted.

She blushed and closed the door behind her, relieved and flattered by his reaction. She nervously ran her hand through her hair before walking towards him. He met her halfway, letting his eyes to scan her body.

"Beautiful as always," he complimented.

Clare pulled back on her bottom lip, trying to put all her nerves to the side as looked straight at Eli's eyes.

"So . . ." she said, putting her arms around his neck. "What shall we do?"

Eli swallowed and met Clare's eyes, carefully circling his arms around her delicate body.

"Well . . . I think you already have an idea on what I had in mind . . ."

Without a response, Clare slowly put her lips on his and began to kiss him; she did not hesitate in sliding her tongue between his lips and making it more erotic. While distracted by the kiss, she slid one of her hand down his chest before reaching them hemline of his shirt. Eli moaned as her hand went underneath his clothing and caressed his stomach.

Feeling her gentle hand on him sent his mind into frenzy; his heart raced as did his mind and he soon could not stop himself from thinking. He wanted to touch Clare just as she was touching him, kiss every inch of the flesh that was available to him, and run his hands over her legs . . . over her torso . . . under her gown.

Eli soon realized what he was thinking and forced these thoughts to stop, but it was difficult while he was still kissing Clare. He quickly retracted his lips, attempting to catch his breath as he looked down at the ground.

"What's wrong?" Clare asked concernedly, removing her hand from his stomach.

"N-Nothing," he said. "I'm just . . . trying not to . . ."

"What?"

Eli collected his thoughts before looking at her, knowing that there was no point in beating around the bush.

"I want this to be a good night for you and . . . I'm worried that I'm going to mess that up by taking things too far."

"Too far?" she repeated. "What do you mean take things too far? It's not like we're going to have sex."

"Exactly," he said, sliding his hands into hers and forcing himself to only stare at her eyes. "It's just . . . we haven't done this in a while and . . . seeing you with that on . . . it's giving me all these ideas and . . . I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"What were you thinking of doing?"

"I . . . I . . ."

As he repeated this, he struggled to find a way to tell Clare what he desired without frightening her or making her feel uneasy; he suspected that they would be exploring their intimacy on this night, but he thought they would relax and slowly build from there instead of Clare being bold and causing him mind to go into a whirlwind.

"Just say it, Eli," she told him.

Eli's eyes briefly traveled her body and he looked at her eyes again, trying to find his voice while hoping that he would not say something he would regret.

"I . . . I want to touch and kiss as much of your body as possible."

He saw her face turn pink, but he was relieved to see her blushing and grinning instead of being embarrassed.

"What if I told you that you could do that?"

Eli's eyes widened for a second before allowing them to soften so he would not alarm her.

"Then I would ask you if you're sure."

"Then I would tell you that I am."

Eli wanted to reply but he had lost the ability to speak as he kept staring at Clare. She had just given him permission to kiss and touch her, and he was speechless that he would soon be able to unleash his desires. For so long he had wanted to and now he was grateful to have this chance.

"I love you," he said to her more gruffly than he expected.

"I love you too," she said.

She put her lips to his again and, this time, Eli did not pull away. He kissed her tenderly at first but once she nonverbally insisted on using tongue, the kiss created fire between them and it did not show any signs of burning out any time soon. Eli knotted his fingers in her hair while she held him around the waist. He pressed his lips to closer to hers and he felt her tighten her hold on him, compressing their bodies together. Their tongues and lips fondled, creating a passionate and lustful kiss.

Desperate for this night to truly begin, Clare took a step towards the bed. Eli complied and steered her; they kissed all the while, never once separating for air. They hummed and moaned against the kiss, savoring the taste of the other. They moved and kissed until the backs of Clare's legs came into contact with the mattress; it was only then that they paused their kisses and met each other's eyes. Their chests were heaving, but that did not prevent them from smiling at each other. Eli untangled his right hand from her hair and gently caressed his knuckles across her cheek.

"I know I say this a lot, but you are so beautiful."

Trying to keep her face its natural tint, Clare grinned at him as her eyes began to darken with lust; she wanted to be truly intimate with Eli for weeks and she did not want to waste a second of the precious time they had in this hotel room. She took the hand that was touching her cheek and kissed his palm, never tearing her eyes from him.

"Touch me, Eli," she whispered pleadingly.

Eli reconnected his lips with hers and held her waist with both of his hands while she locked her arms around his neck. He lowered her onto the bed, her head and shoulders meeting the pillows. Clare kept kissing him, never wanting to release his lips or lose this connection. She moaned as he massaged her sides before removing his lips. Clare gasped softly at first, but soon began to breathe in bliss when he began kissing beneath her ear.

"If I take anything too far or if you think I'm going to, tell me," he whispered, running one of his hands up and down her right side. His hot breath on her neck caused goose bumps to form on Clare's arms and she licked her lips at the sound of his husky voice.

"I trust you . . ."

Eli breathed again before kissing her neck, hoping that he would not do anything to cause her to think differently. He glided his lips from her ear down to the pulse of her neck; he kissed it lightly as his left hand slid down to the skirt of her dress, daring to touch her bare thigh.

"Eli . . ." she moaned.

She put her hand to the side of his neck and began kissing his lips again. Her kiss dazzled him just as it always done. He then carefully slid his hand under her nightgown until it was resting directly on her thigh. Clare got chills, but did not protest since she loved the feeling of Eli's skin on hers.

Eli took his lips from Clare and rested his head against hers, both of them smiling as they looked each other in the eye. While gazing at her blue orbs, he snaked his hand even more under her gown until he met her hip.

"Hey Eli," she said softly.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"I have an idea."

"What kind of idea?" he asked.

Grinning at his interest, she slid her hand from his neck to his shoulder and tugged on the sleeve of his shirt.

"Before I say anything, you have to get rid of _this_."

Without another word Eli stripped his shirt off his body, not bothering to worry about the fading cuts that were still on his arm and shoulders. Just as she did before, Clare did not pay mind to them; all she saw was her handsome boyfriend in front of her who was eager for them to have a memorable night.

"Anything else, my love?" he said, hovering over her before giving her cheek many light kisses.

"Hmm . . . well, since you're offering . . ."

She twirled the strings that the front of his sweatpants with her fingers and looked directly at his eyes.

"I'd like these to go too."

Adoring how blunt she was being, Eli complied and was soon tossing his sweatpants on the floor. Smiling with satisfaction that he was wearing nothing but his boxers, Clare locked her hands behind his neck before lying back down on the bed and wandering her eyes over his body.

"Okay . . . close your eyes . . ."

Eli obeyed, curious as to what she was going to do. Certain that he was not looking, Clare took his right hand and guided it to her; he inhaled sharply when he felt the palm of her hand come in contact with her breast. This was the first time his hand had been there since prom night and he had almost forgotten the feeling of her in his hand. Ever since that one night he had only touched her heart and nothing more, but this moment right now was different . . . _completely_ different in the most amazing way possible.

"Clare . . ." he moaned.

"Yes?" she sighed, the feeling of him touching her like this being overwhelming.

"If you don't . . . if you don't want me to be touching you like this –."

"Eli," she interrupted. "I want you to."

Eli opened his eyes and turned his gaze to her face; her eyes were closed, she was relaxed, and her lips were content. He gave her a kiss, continuing to hold her breast in his hand; Clare reciprocated the kiss and locked her arms around his neck again. Their lips dance amorously and Clare was so mesmerized by it that she gasped when he felt Eli's other hand come on to her.

"Too much?" he asked, savoring the feeling of her breasts in his hands.

"No," she whispered before kissing him again.

Since they never got this far before during their months of intimacy, Eli was careful not to go so far or do anything to make Clare think he was taking advantage of the situation. He did not knead her or make any attempts to touch more of her skin; he just held her and gently brushed his thumbs against her. Clare appreciated this, because she was certain she would have begged for them to go further and further if he tried anything more.

He hummed against the kiss when her hands found their way to his back and began running over it repeatedly. Following his desires, he removed his lips from hers and began to kiss her neck. It was her turn to moan and Eli's lips curled against her skin before kissing down her neck and across her clavicle. He heard her breath hitch as he began planting kisses on her shoulder while his hands remained on her breasts.

"Eli . . . kiss me again."

Eli complied and slowly slid his hands back down to her waist; he was already missing the feeling of her bounty in his hands, but kissing her and holding her compensated for it. They continued to kiss each other, but it was not long until they transformed from heated to soft. After exchanging so many of these kisses, they both silently agreed to slow down for the night; neither of them minded, for they were satisfied with what they did tonight. Their lips were still joined when Eli climbed off Clare and rested on his side, never once breaking the kiss. They exchanged a few more gentle pecks before stopping; they got under the covers and Eli then began to hold Clare against his chest, smiling at how happy she looked in his arms. She met his eyes as he slid his hand over her spine in a slow, soothing manner.

"You look happy," he told her with relief in his voice.

"I am . . . did you expect anything less?"

"No . . . but I'm still glad to see you happy."

She grinned before pressing a kiss onto his chest and looking at him again.

"You know I'm always happy when we have a night like this together."

"I just wanted to make sure since we went a bit further than usual."

"To be honest, I've actually been wanting you touch me like that for a while."

"Oh really?" he smirked. "I didn't know you missed it that much."

"Now you do."

Eli grinned at her; at this time last year they would never have these conversations and now they were. They had come so far and he was grateful that she felt comfortable enough to tell him about her sexual desires as well as many other thoughts she had that she used to never speak of.

"Well – since we're being honest here – when you took off your shirt in my dorm that one time and when you did it again when you came over on Christmas night, I had to try so hard not keep myself from touching you," he confessed.

"You didn't have to hold yourself back."

"I just didn't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable."

"Eli, I trust you," she stated directly. "You're the love of my life and my forever."

"I know and . . . I just don't want to mess that up by taking things too far."

Clare smiled at his consideration, but she wished he did not have to worry about going too far during their moments of intimacy.

"We both know our boundaries: no sex, no getting naked, no hand or blow jobs. I'm fine with everything else as long as we take it slow."

"So . . . what we did tonight . . .?"

"Was perfect," she assured him. "And just think, in a few years when we're on our honeymoon you won't have to worry about going too far."

A smirk formed on Eli's face before he planted a needy, desirable kiss on Clare's lips. She hummed lovingly as he cared for her lips in most amorous way possible without being too sensual.

"I can't wait," he breathed as they ended the kiss.

"Neither can I," she replied.

Eli, who could only imagine how incredible their honeymoon would be, slid a strand of hair out of Clare's face to admire her beauty. He took a moment to study her perfect face, her divine lips, and her marvelous eyes, which were still stunning despite the dark circles that were forming beneath them.

"You looked tired."

"Well . . . I was so excited for tonight that I barely got any sleep."

"Then you'd better get some," he advised. "We still have a whole weekend ahead of us."

Clare gave him the biggest smile she could muster as she met his lips for one more kiss. It was sweet, light, and was just what she needed before resting.

"I'm looking forward to it," she said softly before turning on her other side. Eli snaked his arm around her waist and she smiled when she felt his body against hers. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said before giving her shoulder a gentle kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too . . ."

The two of them fell into a peaceful sleep within minutes, getting lost in their dreams as their bodies and minds relaxed. Hours passed by and neither of them stirred . . . but it did not last for as long as they wished.

Eli felt his eyes open, but he did not feel the joys of morning. There was not a single sign of a bright day except for the girl he still had his arm around. He turned to the clock to see it was a couple minutes after two; he lied his head back down on the pillow, but he could not seem to get back to sleep. He remained awake for a few minutes, hoping for sleep to take him; to his dismay, he was forced to let his thoughts revolve in his head that forced him to face the facts . . .

This would be the last night he would be able to be with Clare like this for a while and he could not even begin to predict when they would be able to be as intimate again. Six weeks may have felt like a long time while he was away from her, but now they did not seem like enough. He did not want to go back to Ottawa and leave her; he wanted to hold her and never let her go.

Eli propped himself up on his elbow while one of his arms continued to rest around Clare's waist. He envied how she was able to dream so peacefully, the last thought on her mind before sleeping being how great their night was together. He wished that he could be in her position and not have to worry on this night; he despised himself for having so many thoughts while his best source of happiness slept there so tranquilly.

He placed a feather light kiss on her upper arm. He did not anticipate her feeling that in her sleep, so he was surprised when she began stirring against him. She opened her eyes and turned to Eli, the light from the streetlights peeking through the blinds so she could see him.

"Still awake?" she asked.

"I couldn't get back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay."

She turned to her other side until her entire body was facing Eli; she grinned at him tiredly while he gave her a small grin in return while continuing to hold her in one arm. Despite how drowsy she still was, Clare was able to see Eli's eyes; any bliss and pleasure they held hours before was nonexistent and were now full of dread and discontent.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said.

"Are you sure? You look like you have something on your mind."

"It's nothing to worry about," he attempted to reassure her.

But hearing those words only made Clare even more concerned, for now she knew for certain that there were thoughts swimming around in his head.

"What's wrong, baby?" she said, sitting up and leaning against the headboard.

"It's nothing."

"Yeah, like I've never heard that one before," she scoffed with soft sarcasm. "Come on, what's the matter?"

If he had it his way, he would not say a word and risk ruining their night. But he knew that Clare would be worried if he did not speak and he did not want to do that to her. He put his head back on the pillow, wishing he could have kept this quiet so they would not have to dwell on the negative on this night.

"I don't want to leave you again for another three months."

"Eli . . ."

"I know we said we wouldn't talk about this, but –."

"Shhh."

Not wanting him to feel upset about anything, Clare guided him until his head was resting on her lap. He rested there, lying on his side as she began running her fingers through his hair.

"I don't want you to go either; I'm going to miss you like crazy."

"Same here," he said. "I don't want to think about it so we could enjoy the weekend, but . . . we have to face reality."

Wanting to ease his pain, Clare rubbed one of his shoulders and kept her eyes on him while she tried to find words of comfort.

"We don't have to face it just yet."

"Yeah, but . . . I'll be back in Ottawa by next week. I'll be away from home; away from you . . . it's going to be hard."

"Well, if it ever feels like it's becoming too much or if you just want to talk, you can call me day or night."

His breath shook as he inhaled, trying to keep himself stable while his emotions continued to run wild. Clare did not understand what he was thinking and he knew she deserved to know; she was trying to help and keeping his feelings from her would not be any use. His only fear was her reaction even though he knew in his heart that she would be nothing but supportive.

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to laugh?"

"Promise," she vowed.

Eli took a calming breath, ready to speak what was plaguing his mind.

"I'm kind of scared to go back."

"What do you mean?" she asked caringly.

"I haven't had a day when . . . I wanted to cut myself in a while; I don't want to go back there and have it all hit me at once."

"Remember you can call me if you ever feel that way."

"And I will, but . . . remember a few months ago when Devin found out about me cutting and I called you; and then you told me to imagine our wedding and I still did not feel that much better?"

"Yeah," she recalled.

"What if that happens again?"

"Then I'll stay on the phone with you until you do feel better."

"But what if it starts to happen all the time and I j-just snap?" he began hurriedly as he slowly began to lose control of his emotions. "What if I try to call you and you're not there and I just lose it? What if I need to cut or do something drastic to get rid of the pain? What if –?"

"Eli," she interrupted, putting her hand to the side of his face and guiding it in her direction. She tried to keep calm for his sake, but the words he was saying were starting to really scare her. "Don't think that way."

"I-I'm just that worried, Clare."

"I know, but thinking that way is not going to help."

"Do you think I want to?" he snapped. His sudden hostility caused her hand to retreat from his face while her heart began to beat painfully against her chest. He glared at her with annoyed eyes, but the anger faded away in seconds to be replaced by regret. His face softened and his eyes held even more pain than before. "I-I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," she said, knowing that his fear was what made him on edge.

"No," he said, turning his head away from her so he did not have to look at her. "I-I wanted this to be a great for us and now I'm ruining it."

"Eli," Clare said. "You're not ruining anything; you're worried and I would you rather talk to me about it instead of keeping it bottled up."

"But I . . . I wanted this night to be perfect and . . . thanks to me it's not."

"Hey," she said softly, once again guiding his head so she could look at him. "I had an amazing night here; this does not change that."

Eli took a breath and took in her words yet still wishing that he could have prevented this. Once he was a bit calmer, he looked back at Clare and continued to speak.

"I'm terrified that I'm just going to snap one of these days . . . and I don't want that to happen."

"I know you don't," she said, smoothing his bangs away from his head. "But remember that you have been in Ottawa for months and you've gotten through it. Just another few months and you'll be done with term and then I'll be moving up there."

"I don't want to wait that long."

"It's only for three more months. Three more months of long-distance dates, late night phone calls, and short-lived visits," she promised. "And I will come up and see you more instead of you coming down here all the time."

"That still doesn't change the fact that I'm going to be away from you. I'll miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too; but once these three months are over, we'll never have to miss each other again."

Eli loved the sound of that; after this they would never have to be so far apart for so long again and that brought him so much comfort. He also thought of the weekends they would have together and how they would make each visit special; he thought of the months ahead and he saw just how little time they had left of this long-distance relationship. Yes, they would have nights when they would not call or talk because of their schedules but those days would be behind them soon enough.

"Three more months . . ." he breathed. "Then we'll be at the same university . . . sharing an apartment . . . spending every day together . . ."

"That's right," she said. "It won't be much longer."

"If only we could skip these next few months," he said. "It's going to be really hard with exams and everything coming up."

"We'll get through it," she eased him. "Just think: after you're done with this term, you can come home and see me graduate Degrassi; and after that we can start preparing for the years we'll have in university."

Eli closed his eyes, the image of their future now becoming incredibly vivid. She would soon be wearing that blue cap and gown and then she will graduate; he could see them packing up her room just as they packed up his. He could even imagine them driving to Ottawa together, both of them smiling; he mimicked the picture in his head and felt himself become more relaxed. That would soon be their future and he could not wait for time to catch up with his dream. He opened his eyes and looked up at Clare, who was continuing to gaze at him with kind eyes and a grin.

"Can I have kiss?" he asked.

"Sure, sweetie," she said softly, the words naturally flowing from her lips.

She cupped his face before leaning down and kissing him gently. She fondled his lips for a few seconds and revoked hers before smoothing her thumb over his cheek.

"I love you, my wonderful husband."

Eli smiled at her, his heart beginning warm as the remains of his pain began to rest.

"I love you too, my incredible wife."

* * *

"_It brings you up slowly _

_Then shoots you like a rocket toward the ground_

_It twists you and it shakes you _

_Before it turns you upside down" _

_~"Ride" by Martina McBride_

* * *

HAPPY TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO "IF WE HOLD ON TOGETHER"!

Alright, opinion time: thoughts on this fic, my writing, suggestions for improvement, everything (please; I accept criticism, but not flames).

And, just for fun, let's see if we can do the impossible: 1,800 reviews before the next update (which probably won't be until sometime next week).

By the way, SA5M, NEVER think your reviews are annoying! They actually make me smile so much. THANK YOU! And thank you Eli's Wife for the reviews you posted! And thank you to everyone else who has taken the time to read this!

Okay guys, Degrassi is on Friday! Here we go!

Review please!


	144. Harder Than You Know

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you everyone for the feedback! It was out of this world! We didn't get to 1,800, but it's no big deal. What is a big deal, however, was what happened on Degrassi! My heart! I won't say what happened for those who have not seen it yet, but . . . be prepared for epic sadness. The only good thing that came from it is that I wanted distract myself from sadness so much that I actually finished this chapter. Anyway, here's the newest chapter! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi . . . I'm going to go cry into a big chocolate cake now!

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Forty-Four

Harder Than You Know

"E-Eli! Eli, get off me!" she gasped between uncontrollable laughs. They had been on his bed, watching _Edward Scissorhands_ when Eli suddenly surprised her via tickling.

"You brought this upon yourself, Clare," he told her, continuing to run his fingers up her side.

"Did not!" she retorted, rolling onto her back as Eli hovered over her.

"Did so. You were the one practically _drooling_ over Johnny Depp," he added kiddingly.

Clare attempted to roll her eyes, but could not because of the control Eli currently had over her.

"You don't honestly think that gives you a good excuse to be jealous, do you?"

"No," he said, ceasing his hands to look at her. "But it _did_ give me a good excuse to do this . . ."

He kissed her lips and she smiled into it, loving that he was taking advantage of the opportunity.

"Well, you could have done that instead of tickling me to death."

"But this was _so much _more fun."

She sneered at him playfully before pushing him off her and onto his side; she turned over and looked at him. She smiled at him and he grinned back, placing a hand on her hip; it was Saturday afternoon – Eli's last full day in Toronto – and they planned on spending it together for as long as possible. They awoke in the hotel that morning, had their free breakfast there, and left just before their assigned checkout time; the two of them returned to Eli's house and had been spending the last hour in his room watching this movie.

But now the film was gradually being forgotten as they focused on each other while trying not to think of how their hours together were decreasing. Clare met his eyes and he met hers, both of them attempting to smile. Clare ran her fingers through his hair as his hand continued to rest on her hip.

"You know, we have not had a long-distance date in a while," he told her, trying to keep his spirits up and not fall like they did the night before.

"We haven't, have we?"

"Maybe we should go ahead and think of one so we can have something to look forward to."

"Sounds good to me," she approved. "Where should we go?"

"What about . . . we order in and we relax in our rooms?" he proposed.

"I love it," she smiled. "When do you want to do that?"

"I'm free every Saturday night. How about . . . two weeks from now around eight thirty?"

"I'll be there," she promised.

_Knock! Knock!_

"Yeah?" Eli asked, turning to his door as Clare removed her hand from his locks.

CeCe then came into the room, a pile of folded clothes sandwiched between her free arm and her chin.

"Got these out of the dryer for you," she told him. "Would have let you get them out yourself, but we needed to get some things clean."

"Thanks, CeCe," Eli said as she put the pile down at the foot of his bed.

"No problem," she said. "You may want to go ahead and start packing so you don't have to worry about it later."

"Okay," he agreed, not wanting to think about it.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone now," she said, heading towards the door. "See you two when dinner's ready."

"Bye," the couple said in unison before she shut the door behind her.

Eli collapsed his head onto the pillow, sighing that he would eventually have to pack so he would be ready to leave.

"Maybe I should go ahead and get the packing over with."

"Want me to give you a hand so you can get it done faster?" she asked, running her hand through his hair again.

Eli simply shook his head, not looking at her.

"It's not too much. I only brought a few things back with me."

He then climbed off the bed and picked up the duffle bag he had brought his belongings in. He started by putting the clean clothes in his bag with a heavy heart. In all honesty, he wanted to return to Ottawa and continue his education but the thought of leaving home and the love of his life again made him very apprehensive about taking the five hour journey.

"So when do you want me to come up and visit?" she asked him.

"Whenever you want," he said. "As long as I see you it won't matter when."

"Well, I'll see if I can come see you when I don't have to be with my dad for the weekend and if I don't have anything keeping me busy."

He smiled, hoping that he would not be without her for long.

"And, until then, you'll have a long-distance date and Drama Club to keep your mind occupied."

"True . . . but I'm more curious about what you're going to do without me," he said with a smirk.

"I don't know," she said. "Take everything one day at a time, I guess."

Eli did not respond; he just kept packing and attempted to focus on all the good times he would have in Ottawa. He would be able to spend time with Josh and Cathy again, he would be involved with the Drama Club, and he would be working towards his degree. As enjoyable and time-consuming as these plans sounded, he could not let go of the thought that he would not have Clare by his side. He would not feel her waking up in his arms in the morning, he would be able to drive her home from school in the afternoons, and he would not be able to give her a kiss goodnight.

Suddenly, all the benefits of returning did not seem important and he just wanted to find a way to be with Clare. He walked to his closet to keep his eyes hidden from Clare, who had resumed watching the movie. As he began looking through it, he tried to remind himself of what Clare told him last night and tried to rid himself of the sadness in his heart.

"_If it ever feels like it's becoming too much or if you just want to talk, you can call me day or night . . ._ _I'll stay on the phone with you until you do feel better . . . Just another few months and you'll be done with term and then I'll be moving up there . . ._ _It's only for three more months. Three more months of long-distance dates, late night phone calls, and short-lived visits . . . once these three months are over, we'll never have to miss each other again . . ._"

But he was going to miss her and nothing in the world could change that. The only way for him not to miss her was for him to stay in Toronto or for her to come to Ottawa with him. Of course, neither of those options were a possibility and they would have to face the real world. They were to be separated again, only being able to talk over the phone or computer and would be deprived of touch.

Eli rested his hand on the frame of his closet, trying not to be affected by this truth. He could not understand why this still hurt him so much; this was not a new routine and he honestly thought he would have been used to this by now . . . but he was not. He hated it just as much – maybe even a bit more – now as he did when he said goodbye to Clare when he first went to Ottawa.

He was not aware of it, but he was breathing deeply and trembling. Clare would hear him from the bed; worried, she turned her head to him and saw him shaking slightly. She instantly stood up and walked towards him, wishing that she could easily take that pain away from him.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly, getting behind him and wrapping her arms around the middle of his torso before resting her chin on his shoulder.

He nodded and stopped shaking when he was secure in Clare's hold; he took a breath to restore a normal breathing pattern, but it was not easily accomplished.

"I just wish I had more time here," he told her.

"Three more months," she reminded him, using a hand to caress his middle. "Only three more months."

He nodded and tried to think of all the visits they would have throughout the next few months, which would hopefully contribute to time going faster.

"I'm okay," he said, turning his head to her. "It's going to take some readjusting."

Clare gave him a sad grin before briefly kissing his lips. Eli turned back to the closet and pulled out a few clothes before walking back to his bed to put them in his bag. Clare followed him and sat at the foot of the bed, watching Eli as she noticed how he was still trying to get his breathing back to normal.

"Babe," she said as he zipped up his bag; he looked up at her as he set the bag on the ground. "Sit with me for a second?"

"'Kay," he said before sitting next to her, struggling to only focus on her right now instead of how he would be leaving tomorrow.

As they sat on the end of the bed, Clare cupped the side of his neck and brought her lips to his; the kiss was soft and sweet and it was just what Eli needed to get his breathing back in rhythm. When Clare took her lips from his, he just had to inhale and exhaled a couple of times to recover from the kiss and then his breathing was back to normal. Clare slid her hand from his neck to his chest and met his eyes.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"I just want to cheer you up a bit."

A corner of Eli's lips turned up slightly, grateful for her effort. He took the hand that was resting on his chest and held it before looking at his knees, pondering on this situation.

"Gonna miss me when I leave?" he asked.

"I always do."

"Are you worried about starting this up again?"

"Not as worried as I was when you first left," she said softly with confidence.

Eli let out a small breath, wishing that he could share her security. He was still terrified about the months to come, no matter how few there were.

"Why am I so much more worried about this than you are?" he asked.

"I think it's because I'm more worried about you than I am about us."

"What?" he said as he snapped his head back up, instantly worried by her words.

"I know that we're not going to break up or anything, so long-distance isn't what's really worrying about right now. I'm more concerned about how you're feeling."

Eli let out a breath of relief and understanding when she was done speaking, but he wished he did not give her a reason to worry about him so much.

"I'll be fine," he said, partly telling her and partly ordering himself. "Give me a few days and forgive me for calling you nonstop and then I should be okay."

Clare gave him a small grin before squeezing his hand and giving him another kiss; it was not as soft as the one before and she deliberately teased his bottom lip with her tongue. After caressing in for a minute, she slowly eased away and met his eyes.

"So . . ." she said, releasing his hand and putting an arm around his torso. "Maybe when we see each other again we can have another special night together; and maybe I'll even wear something a bit more revealing than that nightgown . . ."

A smile came to Eli's lips despite his misery; he then put a hand on her upper arm and eased her onto the bed, him hovering over her. She wrapped both of her arms around his middle while one of his hands began to caress her side.

"You are an amazing girl, Clare Edwards," he told her.

She smiled back at him before giving his lips another brief kiss.

"I knew you would like the sound of that plan."

"What do you expect? You're very tempting."

She chuckled timidly before kissing him again, but making this one last longer than the one prior; her tongue gingerly swept across his lips before taking advantage of his moan to slip it into his mouth. Their tongues and lips moved in harmony, creating a fervent kiss; they moaned and hummed as they kissed, trying to make the most of this even though he was not leaving until tomorrow. He slowly leaned away from her and looked at the face he would be deprived of touching for some time.

"I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'm going to miss you too . . . but I promise to come visit you soon."

"How soon?"

"Whenever I'm not at my dad's and when I'm free."

"So not too long from now?" he said hopefully.

"Not long at all," she promised before kissing him again. "Now, want to watch the rest of the movie or should we do something else?"

"Hmm . . . what else do you think we should do?"

Clare smiled and scooted away from him until she was lying on his pillows. She reached for his remote and turned off the television before putting it back on his side table and grinning at him. Smirking, Eli crawled over to her and she instantly cupped his face and put her lips to his again. He caressed his thumb over her shoulder and continued to kiss her, never wanting to take his lips away from hers.

They situated themselves until they were lying down on the bed completely, Eli being careful not to crush Clare with his body as his hands slithered down to her waist. Hoping that this would distract him from his departure, Clare knotted her fingers in his hair and pressed their lips closer together. She intentionally tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth, causing him to moan before she allowed her tongue and lips to care for him even more.

They moaned and hummed as they kissed, only separating when they were in the most desperate need of air; when one was breathing, however, the other would attach their lips to their neck and kiss their skin until they were ready to continue.

"You know, there is one thing I do like about long-distance," he said, separating his lips from hers at one point.

"The endless make-out sessions we have before you go?"

"Precisely," he grinned before kissing her again.

Clare was pleased to see that classic grin on his face and seeing it made her kiss him with more love, hoping that it his happiness will not fade again anytime soon.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. Eli kept kissing her and kissing her and it was incredible just as it always was; as he did, there was always that horrible thought in the back of his mind that had been plaguing him all day. He wanted to get rid of it, especially now when his lips were dancing with his girlfriend's, yet it remained planted in his mind. As good as these kisses felt, they were not filling the void within him. He tried kissing her harder, but then he had to face the fact that he was trying to elude the thoughts in his head and that made him think about them even more.

He needed to set this thought free . . . he could not take it being within him anymore when a solution was there in front of him.

"Clare," he said, slowly pulling his lips away and looking at her.

"Yeah?" she breathed with a grin, her heart beating rapidly and her chest rising and falling while her hands slid to his shoulders.

"Last night . . . when I told you that I was worried about having that feeling when I needed to cut . . . you said that I could call you whenever I felt that way."

"I did," she said, her smile now fading. The two of them had just had got done kissing each other with passion and he was already thinking of how they were to be separated again. Part of her was disappointed that their last hours together would not be as pleasant as she wanted them to be while the other part was heartbroken by just how much that this was affecting Eli.

"What if . . . I call so often with the same things that you . . . just stop answering my calls?"

"What?" she said, shocked that was thinking this way after last night and the moment they just shared.

"That's been on my mind all day," he admitted. "I don't want to keep calling you and eventually annoy you so much that you don't answer the phone anymore."

"You can call me as much as you want."

"But do you honestly want to hear from me every time a negative thought comes into my head?"

"If it will make you feel better."

"Really?" he said, harsher than he intended; it frightened Clare slightly, considering they were still in this intimate position. "Or are you just saying that so I'll feel better?"

Clare wanted to say that she just did want him to feel better just so they could be happy in each other's company again, but that was clearly not going to help his mood. Sighing, she rolled her lips and decided to take the best approach possible to reassure him.

"Eli, lie down," she instructed.

"Why?"

"Just lie down," she restated.

He obeyed and lied down on his bed; Clare straddled his waist and looked at him, gently rubbing his stomach.

"Listen carefully," she began firmly. "Whenever you have the slightest thought of hurting yourself, I _want_ _you_ to call me. It doesn't matter if it's because something trivial or something major, I want you to pick up your phone and call."

"But I don't want to bother you with the same problems all the time."

"If you're worried about that, think about what you can do to help yourself because I'm not going to be able to talk all the time. You know that."

"I know . . ." Eli said almost inaudibly; it was a bit terrifying for him to do this without Clare, considering the last time he took care of his pain by himself resulted with him putting a pocketknife to his skin.

"But if you try and you still don't feel any better, call me. I can't promise you that I will answer all of your calls but it will never be because I chose not to answer them, okay?"

"Okay . . ."

"And when I do answer, I promise to help in any way I can."

Eli inhaled and exhaled, feeling rotten for being so harsh to her before; he knew that she would be there for him and she was not going to run away.

"Thanks," he said softly.

"Don't worry," she said, looking directly at his face. Eli leaned his head back on his pillow and took in a large gulp of air before letting it all out.

"Why does this seem to never get any easier?"

"You're still getting used to it."

"We've been doing this for a while, Clare. I should have been used to it by now."

"I'm still not used to it," she empathized. "I don't think I ever will be; but we got to do what we got to do."

"Well, it sucks."

"Tell me about it. But at least it will all be over soon, right?"

"Yeah . . . I just have this really bad feeling about going back."

"What do you mean?"

"For the last few days I have had this horrible knot in my stomach and I can't always get rid of it unless I'm distracted by something. If I'm not or if there's nothing else to think about, I always start feeling . . . worried."

"You're going back after a long break away; it's natural to be a bit nervous."

"I guess," he sighed. "I can't wait for this to be over."

Clare grinned down sadly at him.

"Neither can I. It's just a little bit longer."

Eli kept his head against his pillow and Clare kept smoothing her hand over his abs, hating to see him so sad. Wanting to make him feel better, she slid her hand up to his diaphragm and the movement caused him to look at her.

"You know, there are other benefits of long-distance," she told him. "Maybe it's time we review some of them."

"Like what?"

"Well . . ." she said, instantly searching her brain for an answer. "One of us will always wake up to an 'I love you' text in the morning. And . . . we can always start sending each other video messages throughout the day."

Eli exhaled through his nostrils, clearly not seeing that much good in these suggestions. Clare licked her lips and began to think of more solutions again, one finally coming to her mind that made a genuine smile come to her face.

"You know what my favorite thing is about long-distance is?"

"What?" he said, not seeing a favorite could exist in this situation.

"Whenever I know I'm going to see you again, I always get that good feeling in my stomach. You know, I'm excited that we get to be together and that we'll be able to hang out just like we used to. And I just get so excited that it feels like nothing can go wrong; and time seems to slow down and it takes an eternity for you to get here, but it's always worth going through. Do you ever get that way?"

"Yeah," he said with a smile, recalling all the times he had that feeling whenever he was driving back to Toronto.

"It's the best, isn't it?"

Eli smiled at her, silently agreeing with her. He opened his arms and she crawled into them, holding on to him as best as she could. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and he nuzzled on hers, breathing deeply. He smoothed his hand over her back and she gave his neck a gentle kiss, both of them becoming comfortable.

"What would I do without you?" he said, hoping he would never have to find out.

Clare simply raised her head and smiled at him before giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

"Want to just relax for a few minutes?" she said, believing that doing so would be best for him.

"Yeah," he said.

Clare climbed off him so she was resting on the mattress, but kept her head on his chest and he kept his arms around her; she wrapped her arm around his torso as best she could. The two of them lied there in silence, their eyes becoming heavy . . .

"Dinner's ready, everyone!" CeCe called from downstairs.

The instantly opened their eyes separated, confused that CeCe was calling them down for dinner so early. Eli turned to his clock on his nightstand, amazed to see that it was not too early for dinner at all; it was six o'clock and he realized just how long they have been here.

"I think we slept for a few hours."

"That explains why I'm so hungry."

He chuckled lightly before the two of them climbed off the bed and made their way downstairs.

()()

"What time do you plan on leaving tomorrow?" CeCe asked as she, Eli, Clare, and Bullfrog sat at the table.

"I don't want to leave it too late. I want to get the leaving over with and then get resettled."

"So what time are you thinking?" Bullfrog asked.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Maybe around one."

"That's pretty early," CeCe stated; she was used to him not leaving until at least four in the afternoon and learning that he wanted to leave three hours earlier was strange to hear.

"Like I said, I'm just going rip the bandage off and get readjusted sooner."

"Plus you want to get away from us lunatics," Bullfrog added.

"That too," he kidded.

"Are you okay, Clare?" CeCe asked, noticing how Clare was sitting there with a blank look on her face.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine," Clare said, coming back to reality. "Just zoned out for a minute."

Clare then took a bit out of the chicken on her plate, hoping that the three pairs of eyes would stop looking at her; everyone soon turned back to their dinner, but Clare felt Eli's knee brush against hers soothingly. She turned her head to grin at him and he attempted to grin back, both of them wishing that they could have more time together.

"It's going to be strange having you gone," CeCe told Eli. "The house is going be quiet again."

"Well, hopefully I'll be back before you get used to the silence."

"Now _you_ young lady better start visiting more," she said to Clare, pointing her fork at her with a smile on her face.

"Seriously," Bullfrog said. "We're already having one kid leaving the house; we don't need another."

"I promise I'll come over," she reassured him.

After dinner everyone moved to the living room to watch a movie and just to spend time together. Throughout the film, CeCe kept suggesting for them to watch some home videos from when Eli was younger; of course, Eli was completely against it and kept fighting it when the movie was finished.

"Please," he begged as CeCe began searching for one of the videos that they were managed to burn to DVDs.

"Come on, we're all family here," Bullfrog reminded them as he sat in an arm chair while Clare sat next to Eli on the couch.

"Yeah, Eli," Clare retorted with a grin, curious to know just what Eli was like as a younger kid. "Were you going to keep them hidden from me forever?"

"That was my plan," he answered honestly.

"Why?"

"You'll see," Bullfrog snickered from his chair.

"Oh God," Eli groaned, only being able to imagine what weapons of humiliation were in their video archive.

"Found one!" CeCe declared before reading what was written on a label on the case. "_Eli (2 years old)_."

"No . . ." Eli complained, already aware of what was coming since Julia was dragged into the same situation and they played the same set of videos.

"Come on, it won't be _that_ bad," Clare said, scooting closer to him and taking his hand.

"That's the spirit!" Bullfrog declared.

CeCe inserted it into the DVD player before sitting next to Clare on the couch. Within seconds, the past moments of the family were playing out on the screen. The first piece of footage included a small toddler wearing nothing but some blue pajama pants; his hair was shorter and lighter from the color it had presently, but the face, the nose, and lips made it clear just who this little boy was . . .

_Two-year-old Eli was sitting on the kitchen floor, surrounded by pots, pans, bowls, and cups that were turned upside down; he held a wooden spoon in one hand and a whisk in the other. He was drumming on anything that was in reaching distance for the utensils and he smiled as he made his music. CeCe was recording and chuckling lightly as she watched her baby boy._

_ He soon stopped drumming, but when he saw that the attention was on him he started again. He hit the "drums" a bit harder yet maintained a slower tempo, always wondering what he should hit next. He kept smiling as he played and CeCe kept admiring, never wanting to miss a second._

"Aww," Clare gushed. "You're so adorable."

"That's what I thought," CeCe told her. "He did this every day for _weeks _until he discovered the fun of markers."

"Did you film that too?"

"Of course," Bullfrog said. "We filmed just about everything."

Eli – despite feeling slightly perturbed that his parents were showing her these videos and that his girlfriend was enjoying them – could not help but grin at how close his parents were with Clare. They had been bonding all through break and seeing that bond continuing to grow made him smile and he could only imagine how great their future as a family would be.

_"That's fantastic, Eli!" CeCe exclaimed when her son stopped drumming. He was smiling and was holding his "drumsticks" in the air with pride. The child smiled before going into another song . . ._

The scene soon switched and Clare was able to see more of Eli's childhood. She saw him playing with some toys, dancing off tempo to music, and making a mess out of the food he was eating. Clare chuckled at times with CeCe and Bullfrog doing commentary; it may not have been Eli's greatest moment, but he smiled at times nonetheless . . . until one of the final scenes of the video came on.

The scene switched again to someone recording on Halloween of that year according to the date in corner of the screen. Eli shut his eyes, knowing what was to come and he did not want to see Clare's face when it happened.

_The camera was capturing the scene of the outdoors through the window, many houses around them being decorated for Halloween as a congregation of trick-or-treaters stalked down their street in their various costumes. _

_ "Eli! Eli, get back here!" CeCe chuckled from the living room. Bullfrog, who was holding the camera, quickly turned just in time to see his son running in front of him into the dining room . . . wearing absolutely nothing._

"Oh my gosh!" Clare laughed, her cheeks turning red. Compared to Eli, however, she was wearing a small blush; all the blood in his body seemed to rush to his face. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see Clare's facial reaction to his nudity.

"Come on, Eli," Bullfrog said. "It's nothing we haven't seen before."

Those words did add more color to Clare's face, but Eli still looked more humiliated than her.

_ "It seems that Eli wants to go trick-or-treating in his birthday suit," Bullfrog declared from behind the camera as CeCe chased after him._

The screen then went dark as three-fourths of the family began to laugh; Eli continued to look embarrassed, but mustered up enough courage to open his eyes again when he did not hear the video playing anymore. He turned to Clare, whose face was now red from pure amusement beyond anything else.

"I'm glad you enjoyed that," Eli said.

"It was funny," she shrugged.

"Ha-ha," he said dryly.

"Oh, have some fun," CeCe encouraged.

"But of _all _the home movies we could have shown, it had to be the one with me streaking," Eli stated with a small smile.

"But it's the funniest," Bullfrog responded.

Eli rolled his eyes and grinned, feeling Clare squeeze his hand.

"Alright, I think we've embarrassed you enough for one night," CeCe said, not wanting her son to feel more uncomfortable around his girlfriend.

"Yes, and thank you so much for it," Eli said smugly.

"It was either now or your twenty-first birthday," Bullfrog commented. "You should be happy that it was only your girlfriend and not Adam or your friends in Ottawa."

Clare bit her tongue for Eli's sake, only being able to imagine how Adam and Josh would treat him after viewing what was on that video.

"I'm calling it a night," CeCe stated after taking out the DVD and putting it back in its place. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

After exchanging their goodnights, CeCe went upstairs and Bullfrog soon followed. Once his parents were out of sight, Eli laid his head back against the sofa, closed his eyes, and sighed.

"That was so awkward."

"No, it wasn't," Clare assured him with a grin.

"You don't think seeing the two-year-old me running around the house naked while my parents were here was awkward?"

"I thought you were cute," she told him.

Eli groaned, for he never really defined himself as "cute" not even as a toddler.

"How was watching all of that not weird for you?" he asked, recalling how Julia was not always comfortable watching home videos of his or her family.

"It just wasn't," she shrugged. "And now I know what you were like at that age."

"To my misfortune."

"It wasn't that bad."

"You wouldn't be saying so if I saw _you _doing things like that."

Clare sighed, seeing just how discontent Eli was about her seeing so much of him from that time.

"Okay, to make it fair, how about I break out all my home videos and stuff one day?"

Eli smirked, seeing this as an even trade since she had already seen more than he ever wanted her to see.

"Deal," he agreed.

Clare smiled at him before adjusting herself until she was more comfortable on the couch. When she was, she turned back to Eli and was taken aback to see how some darkness came back to his eyes. Concerned, she scooted closer to him and put her head on his shoulder; it caused him to jump at first, but he soon became more relaxed.

"Still nervous?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," he answered, putting an arm around her. "It's really hitting now after seeing all those memories."

She kissed his cheek and slid her hand onto his thigh in a non-suggestive fashion.

"I don't know why I'm worrying so much," he told her. "I'm trying not to, but . . . I can't help it."

Clare squeezed his thigh, trying to give him comfort.

"I wish there was something I could say."

"I appreciate that, but I think there's nothing left to be done except go back and get used to the routine."

Clare, still wanting to do something to ease his mind, used her free hand to brush some hair out of Eli's eyes and that caused him to look in his direction.

"I'll come visit you soon; and I'll call you every night."

Eli's grin came to his face, grateful for what she was trying to do.

"You do such a great job at trying to cheer me up."

"You're stuck with me, remember? It's my job to cheer you up."

They met their lips in a kiss before giving each other small smiles.

"Come on, let's go get some sleep," she encouraged him. "The sooner tomorrow comes, the sooner we'll be able to see each other again."

"You and your optimism," he sighed before they stood up and exited the living room to get a good night's rest.

()()

"Are you sure you don't want to leave until later?" CeCe asked when Eli came down with his bag the following morning. "You won't get back too late if you stay for a few more hours."

"I want to, but I don't want to prolong anything."

Clare followed Eli down the stairs and could see CeCe's face; her forlorn expression mirrored Clare's emotions in her heart, but her eyes were calm and she was keeping her composure. CeCe rolled her lips when the couple got off the stairs and she bit her lips when she began to comprehend that her son was leaving again. It was almost one, which meant Eli would be leaving in a matter of minutes.

"Looks like you're all set to go," Bullfrog stated, coming in a joining everyone else.

"Yeah, I think I have everything."

Minutes later they were stepping outside and Eli was putting his bag in Morty before turning to Clare, who was standing beside him.

"So . . . I guess this is it until next time then?" he said through a tight throat.

"Yeah, but it won't be too long," she assured him with a smile. "And we still have our long-distance date."

"True," he said before wrapping his arms around her. She hugged him back tightly, savoring the feeling of his embrace.

"I love you," she whispered to him.

"I love you too."

They put their lips together for a passionate kiss, but tried to make it as appropriate as possible so she would not feel embarrassed in front of his parents. After holding her for a few more seconds, Eli reluctantly let her go. He then moved to CeCe and Bullfrog, who had the shadows of a melancholy spirit in their eyes. He first pulled Bullfrog into a hug, both of them not caring to put their masculinity aside in front of their wives (or future wife in Eli's case).

"It was great having you back for a while."

"It was great to be back," Eli said. "I love you, Dad."

"Love you too, son."

They ended the hug after a couple more seconds before Eli did the same to CeCe.

"I'm going to miss you so much, baby boy," she said as some tears ran down her face.

"I'll miss you too, Mom."

This ritual had been repeated many times in the past, but this time was one of the hardest merely because they had spent so much time together and they would not be able to for some time after this moment.

"I love you," CeCe told him.

"I love you too."

Eli soon released CeCe and moved towards Morty, only pausing one more time.

"I'll call you when I get there," he promised Clare as he passed her again.

"I can't wait," she said brightly with a smile.

Amazed at how she was not shedding tears by this point, Eli gave her one last kiss.

"I'll miss you."

"Miss you too," she replied.

Without another word, Eli walked to the other side of Morty while Clare moved to stand next to CeCe. He waved at all of them and they waved back before he climbed into the hearse. Morty's engine soon came on and slowly began to move down the street, gradually moving farther away . . . and farther . . . and even farther . . .

When the hearse was no longer in sight, Clare lost it completely. She began to cry, shake, and sob uncontrollably. If she was not so hurt that Eli was now gone, she would have felt embarrassed for doing this out in the open with Bullfrog and CeCe standing right beside her. But the Goldsworthys, of course, did not look down on her for it; she was in pain just as they were and if this was how she chose to cope, so be it.

"Clare, do you want to come in for a few minutes?" Bullfrog invited.

"Please," Clare answered, her voice sounding very different from how it was minutes prior to Eli's departure. Hearing this change of tone, CeCe put an arm around Clare before the trio went back into the house.

Within a minute, the unshed tears she had been holding in were going down Clare's cheeks harder than ever; CeCe led her to the sofa and Bullfrog offered to make the women some coffee to give them some time. CeCe sat next to Clare and gently rubbed a hand up and down her spine in a soothing, motherly matter; Clare appreciated this as she attempted to dry her tears.

"I'm sorry," Clare said, turning to CeCe with a smile that was betrayed by her moistened eyes. "I-I'm fine."

"Miss him already?" CeCe assumed, seeing passed Clare's façade.

Clare turned her head to her knees and nodded, shielding her face with her hair so her tears did not have to be seen.

"Six weeks he's here and now he's suddenly gone again; I feel empty."

"I know," CeCe said, moving some hair behind her future daughter-in-law's ear so she could see her face. "It's never easy seeing him go."

"You're right," Clare agreed before releasing another sob. "Now I feel like I should have given him a better goodbye."

"That's doesn't matter; he knows how you feel about him," CeCe assured.

"It's just . . . with everything going on . . . it's so scary," she breathed.

"What's scary?"

The worry he had . . . the pain he felt . . . the thoughts that crossed his mind . . . the extreme he would consider if it all became too much . . .

Clare wanted to tell CeCe all of this and tell her about how Eli had cut himself and had to call her in order to fight off the urges. His mother was wiser than her since she had been around longer, so Clare wanted to know if she had any advice or if there was anything she could do to help. In her eyes, there probably would not be a better person to turn to for guidance it would be her future mother-in-law.

But no matter how much Clare wanted to speak, she could not. She remembered how she promised Eli that she would not tell anyone about what he did, not even his parents. She wondered why he did not talk to them about this before he left, but that was not her business and she knew that betraying his trust would only harm their relationship and would possibly cause him to not talk to her about what was on his mind.

"Long-distance," Clare said before the drawn-out silence caused CeCe to wonder. "It just . . . scares me that we have to go through this again."

"Don't worry, Clare," CeCe said, putting an arm around her. "He'll come back soon enough."

"I know . . . I just hate the waiting."

CeCe, relating to that feeling, put another arm around Clare and gave her a hug, hoping it would soothe her.

"You know, you seemed so put together yesterday and this morning," CeCe observed, having a hunch as to this girl's intentions.

"I tried . . . I didn't want to let Eli feel worse about leaving."

"Oh Clare," she said. "You're such a sweetheart."

Clare did not respond but allowed a few more tears to leak out of her eyes while holding on to CeCe. If was comforting to be in her hold; it was similar to being held by her mother, but there was a new comforting feeling to it that she cherished.

"It really started to hit me yesterday, but I didn't want to make Eli feel worried about leaving and . . . and . . ."

"Shhh, it's okay," CeCe said softly.

She allowed the girl to cry for a bit longer, for she had been holding in so much and clearly needed to release it all. Bullfrog came in for a second only to set their coffees down and left the women alone when CeCe gave him a look that told him they needed a minute. After a few more minutes of sobbing, Clare leaned away and cleaned off her cheeks and eyes, sniffling before looking at CeCe.

"Feeling better?" CeCe asked kindly.

Clare nodded before saying "thanks" in a soft voice; she did feel better, but that did not change how disappointed she was that Eli was gone.

"Now Clare, I meant what I said yesterday about you coming over; if you _ever_ want to talk, just hang out, or anything, don't hesitate."

"I won't," Clare said, grateful that she had a second home with a second family to go to. "Thanks, CeCe."

"No problem. After all, you're already part of the family."

Grinning, Clare hugged CeCe and she did not hesitate to hug her future daughter-in-law in return.

* * *

"_Leaving always drives me crazy"_

_~"Harder Than You Know" by Escape the Fate_

* * *

Okay, I know some of you are probably thinking that Eli is over-reacting slightly, but there is a reason for that. There is a reason he is a bit un-Eli at times . . . I just can't you guys what it is yet! GAH! I really want to tell you all how this chapter contributes so much to the plot, but I can't! Let's just say that there is so much to come!

By the way, check out a new story from Eclarexoxo and I called "Even After Death." While you're at it, read her story "Scars and Secrets."

Review please!


	145. Don't Stop Believing

**ECLARE FAN FOREVER BABY!**

Thank you Jordanxx, SA5M, Crissychan350, Air, Meg123, sushi.23, and Eclarexoxo for the reviews on the last chapter. So . . . EClare broke up again on the show. I am sad about it, but I believe they are endgame (I mean, hello! They're ECLARE)! With that said, here's the newest update for my readers.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or Starbucks (that depresses me greatly)

* * *

Chapter One Hundred Forty-Five

Don't Stop Believing

Eli returned to Ottawa, the five hour drive barely doing anything to relieve any of the pain he had. He thought about Clare and home the whole time and was longing to be back with her in his house. The highlight of returning to university was seeing Josh and Cathy and being able to hear about their holidays; they each had a very good time with their families, but were excited to return to their friends. Eli wanted to say the same with a full heart but he could not, especially when he saw the picture of Clare at his desk staring back at him.

He got through his first day back in class with mild difficulty. He was attempting to get his mind back in sync with his schedule while trying to not think about home too often. Thankfully he was able to pay attention in class and socializing with the friends that he had not heard from in weeks kept him distracted. After his final class was over, he went straight to the Ottawa Cinema to resume his job. He walked to the break room with his uniform on, surprised with himself that he had been able to be away from home all day and not feel completely low.

"Hey Eli," Haley greeted brightly when she saw him.

"Hey," he replied as he hung up his jacket and punched in. "How were your holidays?"

"They could have been better," she said in a slightly bitter tone. "But it's okay. How about yours? Did you get to spend time with Clare?"

"Yes, and I had such a great time with her."

"Miss her already?" she asked as the two of them stepped out of the break room and towards the lobby.

"Yeah," he said.

"Sorry about that."

Eli shrugged, knowing that there was nothing that could be done to ease his longing.

"Moved on already, Haley?" remarked the voice that made Eli's skin crawl.

"Shut up, Devin," she retorted as she and Eli stepped behind the counter.

He chuckled darkly before stepping away from the counter now that two other people were there to operate it.

"What was that about?" Eli asked.

"Ugh . . . nothing," she said. "Gary and I broke up over break and Devin's been giving us a hard time about it."

"You guys broke up?" he echoed.

"Yeah," she said.

"Why?"

Haley growled before distracting herself by checking to see if the candy was organized correctly.

"We just started to grow apart and we started fighting a lot. Plus I spent Christmas with him and his family and it was all chaos; by the end of it I just wanted to be single again."

"So you guys had a bad week together and now it's over?"

"No, we've been having problems for a while; it was just a matter of time until we needed to get out of it."

"So it was mutual?" Eli assumed.

"Well . . . it took a while for him to understand why, but I was the one who suggested us going our separate ways."

"That sucks."

"We had a good run . . . I just wish we could have focused more on fixing our problems instead of creating more."

"I'm sorry," he sympathized, not wanting to imagine what could happen if he and Clare broke up for those reasons (or broke up at all).

"It's okay," she said. "We're just trying to avoid each other now, but I'm not sure how well that's going to go since we work together."

"Don't you also have three classes with him?" he wondered.

"Yeah," she sighed. "That doesn't really help."

"Have things been awkward?"

"Not so much awkward as hostile."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see before the day is over," she told him.

Actually, Eli only had to wait five minutes when Gary emerged from the hall that contain many of the theaters. He was stepping towards the counter and Eli could instantly tell that there was a change in his coworker; his blue eyes were saddened behind his glasses and his face was smug as opposed to cheerful like it used to be.

"Hello Eli and . . . Eli," Gary said, purposely making a point that he was ignoring Haley.

"Hey," Eli replied, noticing Haley biting her lips out of anger. "Uh . . . how was your break?"

"It was great . . . for the most part," he said with a snide growl at Haley. Eli noticed Haley rolling her eyes as she refilled the popcorn machine. "How about you? Did you have a good time with your girlfriend?"

"Uh –."

"The one who loves you and appreciates you and listens to you."

"Oh, real mature," Haley scoffed.

"Hey, I wasn't talking to you," he snapped.

"No, you were just talking _about_ me," she sneered, putting the bag of kernels away.

"Actually," he said, crossing his arms. "If I was talking about you I would be saying what a coldhearted, uncaring bitch you are."

"Oh, _I'm _uncaring?"

"Guys, we're still on the clock here," Eli reminded them, looking out of the window to see a group of people coming towards the cinema.

"You're the uncaring one!" Haley argued. "You left me alone with a bunch of strangers when you played darts with your cousins!"

"Talking to new people wouldn't have killed you!"

"Shut up! Both of you!" Eli hissed just before their patrons entered.

The two shot glares at each other again before paying attention to their customers, more of which were filing in now that the three o'clock movies were about to begin. They operated different end of the concession's counter while Eli worked tickets in the middle, separating them. Devin did not appear on the scene until the rush had finished and took care of two customers before gazing at the now bare lobby.

"Now it's just the gang back together again," he proclaimed, turning back to his university coworkers. "A bit more divided, of course."

Gary shook his head and turned to Haley, who was standing opposite him and looking at the ground. Disgusted at the situation, he scoffed and left the counter. Not wanting to be in the same area as Devin – who would definitely torment her about this – she turned on her heel and hoped that there would be a mess for her to clean up in one of the theaters.

Eli stood there and he was shocked; weeks ago they were one of the most attached and devoted couples he knew and now they were enemies.

"Isn't it sad, newbie?" Devin sighed. "A couple once so in love to be like this now . . . so sad."

"If you're implying something here –."

"Hey, I'm not implying anything," Devin said, holding his hands up in surrender for a brief moment. "But . . . it is scary how fast the tables can turn, isn't it?"

"Shut up," Eli groaned.

"And how two people can be so happy one moment and then can hate each other the next –."

"If you're just trying to provoke me, it's not going to work," Eli stated, trying to keep his walls strong; he did not want to start worrying after only being back in Ottawa for twenty-four hours.

"But it's _so _sad. One couple can fall apart so it is likely that another can as well."

"Yeah . . . but Clare and I won't be one those couples."

Devin sighed. "Whatever you say." He gave Eli a thump on the back before exiting the counter, leaving the eighteen-year-old all alone.

Attempting to forget Devin's prediction, Eli pulled out his phone from his pocket after making sure he was not being watched. He instantly searched his phone until he found the video message Clare sent him last night when he was back in Ottawa.

"_Hey babe," _she greeted. _"I just wanted to say hi and that I miss you already. I hope you got back safely and that you're settling back in okay. Um . . . did I tell you that I miss you?"_

Eli smiled at this just like he did the night before as her cheeks turned pink.

"_Well, I do miss you and I just hope you're okay. If you ever start missing me too much or if you just want someone to talk to, you have my number. I guess I should shut up and send this to you now so I don't distract you from whatever you're doing. I'll talk to you soon, Eli. I love you."_

She blew a kiss to the camera before giving it a wave and then the video ended. Eli, keeping her face and voice fresh in his mind, put away his phone; he was missing her, but he knew in his heart that they would get through this . . . no matter what his gut, mind, or Devin said.

()()

Clare hated being alone and she felt that way all the time. Even when she was surrounded by friends she felt isolated. She would sit with K.C, Jenna, Dave, and Alli at lunch and it reminded her that she did not have her boyfriend there to hold her hand, kiss her cheek, or whisper in her ear. Unlike the rest of the couples she knew, she was deprived of touch and sensation. The worst part of this situation was that she saw it coming but tried to avoid it and now the reality was bruising her heart. Her rock, her love, and her best friend was gone and now she had to stand alone.

This feeling continued and did not relieve itself from her, not even the slightest. In fact, it seemed to increase and deepen with every hour that passed. She was feeling pain, sadness, and worry all at once and it made her want to reach into her soul and strip away all the negativity.

Wednesday after school, Clare was sitting in Alli's room, doing homework and talking; actually, Alli was the one to do the majority of the talking while she tried to distract herself. She was trying to read her History textbook and learn as much as possible just in case Perino decided to give them a quiz or wanted to have a discussion tomorrow. Her efforts were unsuccessful now since Eli was in her mind constantly along with the unsettling feeling within her.

"Are you alright?" Alli asked when Clare began staring at her book with no interest and dead eyes.

"Yeah . . . I'm just frustrated," Clare sighed as she turned to her best friend, hoping that speaking of her problems would bring her some relief.

"About what?" she asked.

"This stupid long-distance thing; I can't stand it."

"You're missing Eli, hu?"

"Yeah, but that's not bothering me as much as other things about it."

"Like what?"

Clare put her textbook down in her lap and sighed in frustration.

"I _know_ that we're going to be a part, I _know_ that we're only going to talk through the phone and Skype, and I _know_ I'm going to be apart from him for weeks."

"You're upset that he's away?" Alli attempted to summarize.

"It's not even that," Clare said. "It's the same process over and over and over again. It's starting to get old."

"At least it's only for a few more months," Alli reminded her.

"That!" Clare snapped. "I hear that exact same thing every day from my parents, Adam, K.C, Jenna, you, Eli and his parents! I _know_ it's only a few more months until it's all over, but that doesn't change the fact we still have to go through this same damn routine until then!"

"I'm sorry," Alli said. "I was just trying to help."

"I don't need help. I need this long-distance relationship to stop."

"Well, that's not going to happen any time soon unless you break up with Eli."

Clare looked down and exhaled, aware that this was the only other way to be free from the distance unless he left Ottawa.

"I don't know why I'm feeling like this; long-distance isn't new and I know that I won't have to wait much longer until this is all over, but . . . something doesn't feel right."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean . . . I just have this horrible feeling that something bad is going to happen."

"Maybe you're just feeling that way because he's been here a while and now he's gone again."

"I don't know," Clare sighed. "But I can't seem to shake it and it's starting to worry me a little."

"Clare, maybe you should tell Eli how you're feeling."

"If only I thought of that," she remarked sarcastically. "What good will telling him do? He'll still be away for a few more months and we'll still be stuck doing long-distance. Telling him would only make him feel bad about being away."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"There's nothing I can do; I just got to stick it out," she accepted with disappointment before checking her watch and seeing that it was almost five thirty. "I need to get to work."

She said her farewells to Alli and collected her books before leaving, hoping that she would somehow leave her fears behind. As she walked down the street, she soon discovered that she was still haunted and she did all she could to keep her mind from racing with terror.

Clare stepped into the Dot minutes later, her mood remaining as low as it was when she left Alli's. She was aware that Alli was only trying to help, but no one would be able to ease her mind right now. All that could be done was for her to grit her teeth and get through the days ahead. She then punched in before going to her first customer of the day, hoping that work would distract her from these emotions.

"May I get you something to drink?"

"You don't look yourself today."

"Excuse me?" she asked, looking up from her notepad with shock.

"You don't look yourself today," the customer repeated.

Clare looked at this person she was serving with inquisitive eyes. It was a male who did not seem to be much older than her; he actually looked to be around Eli's age. His hair was curly at the ends and it was dark brown with a few lighter brown spots as though he had some sort of hair dying mishap. His eyes were also a chocolate brown, he had a stubble mustache growing, and – although it was hard to tell while he was sitting down – he was a foot or so taller than her.

"Have we met?"

"Never officially," he said. "But I come in here often and I've seen you around."

"Okay," she said, preparing to ask for his order again.

"And usually you've been smiling and you're happy; today you're not."

"Oh . . . well . . ."

"Just having one of those days?" he assumed.

"Basically," she sighed.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm Caleb," he introduced before sticking out his hand.

"Clare," she introduced herself, shaking Caleb's hand.

"Clare," he echoed. "That's a name I don't hear very often."

She grinned slightly at the compliment but instantly regretted it when she remembered Eli; she took in a breath before paying complete attention to her job.

"Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?" Caleb asked before Clare had the chance to get a word out. "Like buy you a cup of coffee whenever you have a break?"

Clare was taken aback by this comment and she actually blinked a few times before what he said finally registered to her.

"E-Excuse me?" she stammered.

"Because I don't plan on leaving for a while, so if you want to join me for a few minutes when you have the time you can."

Her face began to grow warm; the atmosphere switched from friendly to awkward in a blink of an eye and she was stunned by this proposal.

"Um . . . I have a boyfriend."

Caleb furrowed his brow before giving Clare a small smile.

"I just offered to buy you a cup of coffee, not to go on a date."

"Oh . . ." Clare said, her face turning red. "Um . . . I'm working; I really shouldn't be socializing or making plans with customers."

"Right . . . sorry," he said, regretting his words at the reminder.

"It's okay," she said. "So can I get you anything?"

"Coffee please," he finally answered.

"Okay, I'll be right back with that."

"Thank you."

Clare turned away, surprised to find that her emotions were not completely dark now. They still existed, but this encounter with this stranger made her feel a bit lighter on her feet; she was not sure if it was because it was a friendly face that made her smile or if the semi-awkward situation distracted her, but it helped and she was grateful for it.

She remained a bit better for the rest of her shift, but the small flame of peace slowly diminished when she found herself on her way home from the Dot. The pain returned, especially when she remembered that she had to walk home by herself instead of by Eli's side or in Morty. She would not be going to Eli's house to stay the night, nor would she be getting a goodnight kiss from him; she would merely go home and only speak to him through Skype.

When Clare got home, ate some leftover pasta from the night before and went to her room. She was getting ready for bed and was changing into her pajamas when she saw the picture of her and Eli at prom on her nightstand. She let out a melancholy sigh before retrieving her phone from her purse, hoping that her boyfriend would be able to ease her troubled heart.

_Are you busy? _she texted Eli.

_Not now ;) _he replied within seconds.

_Can you Skype?_

_ I can._

Needing to be reassured that she was simply being paranoid and that nothing was going to happen to her relationship, Clare sat at her desk and immediately went on to Skype. Within a matter of seconds, Eli was calling her via video call and she was soon able to see him.

"Hey," she greeted him.

"Hey," he replied from his desk.

"Are you alone?" she asked.

"In theory," he answered. "Josh is listening to his iPod and Cathy isn't here."

Clare attempted to smile, wanting his voice and face to be enough for her; when she saw him, however, she felt the pit in her stomach deepen. It was a reminder of how he could not be with her in person.

"How was your day?" he asked her.

"Okay, I guess. I missed you a lot today. I mean, I always miss you, but today was one of those rough days, you know?"

"Yeah," he empathized. "I missed you too."

Clare grinned at him comfortingly, loathing that they had to say "I miss you" to each other again.

"What have you been up to today?"

"Not much," he shrugged. "Went to class, went to work, and went to Drama Club."

"How did that go?"

"Alright," he said. "They are about to hold auditions for a play one of the members wrote last year and we're going to put in on before the end of term."

"Are you thinking about trying out?"

"Maybe for a small role," he answered. "Nothing big."

"Sounds good," she said, trying her best to sound interested when all she really wanted was for him to be next to her right now.

Clare was not herself and Eli could see it. She was not cheerful like she was days ago and her face was dead of emotion. He hated seeing her this way and he just wished that he could whisper in her ear that her conflicts will soon disappear before giving her a loving kiss.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

"Yeah," Clare said. "I'm okay."

"Something on your mind?"

Clare sighed, not wanting to worry Eli with what was on her mind or do anything to give him a reason to start feeling anxious so soon.

"Long day, that's all."

"School stressing you out?"

"No," she said.

"Then what's wrong?"

Clare inhaled, recalling how she promised Eli that she would be honest with him and how he promised her that she could tell him anything. She was certain that he would not bring much relief to her, but she hoped for the best nonetheless; as she prepared her words, she prayed that this would not bring pain or worry to him.

"Long-distance sucks," she stated.

"You really do miss me, hu?" he smirked cockily, hoping it would amuse her.

"I'm serious, Eli," she said, not in the mood to deal with his sense of humor.

"I know," he said, softening his facial expression. "Want to talk about it?"

"It's nothing really," she said, not wanting to tell him everything just in case he did start getting worried. "I just miss being away from you, that's all."

"I can transfer if you want me to."

"With only a few months left of term?" she remarked with a scoff.

"I could come back and do online courses."

"What about the play?"

"There are others students."

"Eli . . ." she said, forcing herself to reject his offer with the words she was tired of hearing. "It's only for a few more months; just don't worry about it."

"I don't like seeing you sad, though."

Clare shrugged.

"Is there anything I could do?" he asked.

"I don't think so," she said. "But don't worry; I'll get over it."

Eli let out a breath, his heart aching to see his girlfriend this way.

"I guess that's something we both have to do."

"Yeah," she said. She then forced a smile on her face, hoping that they could have a pleasant conversation that would distract her from how much she missed him. "Anyway, everyone's getting ready to apply for university; it shouldn't be long I apply for U of O."

Eli grinned, pleased and relieved to hear that she was still going to apply.

"So should I start looking for our apartment now or later?" he inquired.

"Give it a couple more months," she advised. "I still have to get accepted first."

"You will," he promised. "Call me the second you find out?"

"I will; and after I do you can start looking."

"Deal," he concurred. "Um . . . Clare, I'm really, _really_ sorry to cut this short, but I have some homework to finish up and a quiz to study for."

"Big surprise," she muttered; this was not the first or the last time homework would take him away from her just when she was starting to feel happy again.

"Hu?" he said.

"Alright," she lied. "Okay . . . I'll talk to you later then."

"Yeah," he said. "At least we have our long-distance date next Saturday, right?"

"Right," she sighed. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too," he smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Eli then ended the conversation and Clare closed her laptop, sighing at the loss. Once again, she was alone; she felt as if she had never even talked to Eli and it caused her feel cold and empty. Needing to feel some warmth and security, she wandered over to her bed; she crawled under her covers and wound them around her. She held onto the panda bear she had been sleeping with for the past two nights, trying to inhale the remains of the scent of the shirt Eli left on it. It was weak and she could mainly smell cotton, and it broke her heart that she was unable to be connected with her boyfriend on this night. She closed her eyes and held the bear closer to her, hating the fact that their lives were now a part of a cycle that would never seem to break . . .

* * *

"_Some will win, some will lose_

_Some are born to sing the blues_

_Oh the movie never ends_

_It goes on and on and on"_

_~"Don't Stop Believing" by Journey_

* * *

If you want some happy EClare goodness, read "Faith" written by me and eclarefanxxx.

Yes, the video message idea was inspired by Cam (I miss him!). And we have not seen the last of Caleb (hehehe).

Review please!


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